1 00:00:15,280 --> 00:00:18,800 Speaker 1: Hey, I Do Part two. It's your celebrity mentor Kathy 2 00:00:18,840 --> 00:00:21,799 Speaker 1: Schwartz and one of our newest mentors here on the pod, 3 00:00:22,200 --> 00:00:25,439 Speaker 1: Brian Austin Green and a new friend to me. So 4 00:00:25,560 --> 00:00:28,480 Speaker 1: glad to have met you. And we're here in beautiful 5 00:00:28,520 --> 00:00:29,360 Speaker 1: solving together. 6 00:00:29,600 --> 00:00:33,879 Speaker 2: This is unbelievable. This is really it's hot outside, but 7 00:00:34,040 --> 00:00:35,280 Speaker 2: it is gorgeous. 8 00:00:35,320 --> 00:00:38,959 Speaker 1: It's gorgeous. Right, yeah, I was about a new friendship. 9 00:00:39,159 --> 00:00:40,199 Speaker 1: How about our new friendship? 10 00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:43,000 Speaker 2: What if I was saying before and then you cut 11 00:00:43,040 --> 00:00:45,720 Speaker 2: me off and you told me to shut up? What 12 00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:49,480 Speaker 2: a great day today has been. It's been so incredible 13 00:00:49,720 --> 00:00:51,839 Speaker 2: spending time with you, getting to know you. 14 00:00:52,040 --> 00:00:54,280 Speaker 1: Doing this here. You're gonna make me cry now, Okay, 15 00:00:54,520 --> 00:00:58,680 Speaker 1: well yeah, soak those up, so soak those up, those chairs, okay, 16 00:00:58,680 --> 00:01:01,040 Speaker 1: Brian cheers. One of the best things about you joining 17 00:01:01,040 --> 00:01:03,520 Speaker 1: the I Do Part two crew is that you get 18 00:01:03,520 --> 00:01:06,160 Speaker 1: to really bring our listeners inside the mind of a man, 19 00:01:06,520 --> 00:01:10,440 Speaker 1: and I, for one, absolutely love this. So today I'm 20 00:01:10,440 --> 00:01:12,640 Speaker 1: putting you on the spot here. I loved your podcast. 21 00:01:13,120 --> 00:01:15,399 Speaker 1: I want to grill you on some things, Okay, but 22 00:01:15,440 --> 00:01:17,960 Speaker 1: you go, You're gonna give me your brutally honest answer. 23 00:01:18,480 --> 00:01:18,920 Speaker 1: It's all. 24 00:01:18,959 --> 00:01:19,240 Speaker 2: I know. 25 00:01:21,040 --> 00:01:24,440 Speaker 1: There's nothing like preform or prefab. 26 00:01:23,959 --> 00:01:26,320 Speaker 2: About okay, because you know I'm going to know the 27 00:01:26,400 --> 00:01:28,399 Speaker 2: questions before you get okay, well I. 28 00:01:28,360 --> 00:01:29,880 Speaker 1: Didn't share them with you, but we're going to go 29 00:01:29,959 --> 00:01:32,039 Speaker 1: right into this, and these are like rapid fire. 30 00:01:32,280 --> 00:01:35,440 Speaker 2: Just help me out. Okay, I don't I'm not rapid, 31 00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:36,880 Speaker 2: Just so you just say. 32 00:01:36,840 --> 00:01:40,320 Speaker 1: You know what I heard? Okay? Do men find these 33 00:01:40,319 --> 00:01:43,120 Speaker 1: things attractive or a turn off? If a woman does 34 00:01:43,160 --> 00:01:46,280 Speaker 1: them quickly change at tire? Turn off or attractive? 35 00:01:46,600 --> 00:01:53,480 Speaker 2: Unnecessary? It's it's fine, It's fine. How about double text care? 36 00:01:53,720 --> 00:01:57,400 Speaker 2: How about double texting? Oh yeah, you're you're pressuring somebody 37 00:01:57,440 --> 00:01:58,120 Speaker 2: to respond. 38 00:01:58,240 --> 00:02:00,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, when I text you and don't answer and I 39 00:02:00,640 --> 00:02:02,080 Speaker 1: text you again, how are you going to feel about that? 40 00:02:02,160 --> 00:02:05,880 Speaker 2: I will erase our conversation completely and I'll get a 41 00:02:05,920 --> 00:02:09,040 Speaker 2: divorce ring made that day, just so you know. 42 00:02:09,200 --> 00:02:11,440 Speaker 1: I mean, I think I slipt through the marriage. But okay, 43 00:02:11,919 --> 00:02:14,760 Speaker 1: all right, hanging a curtain rod, you find it attractive 44 00:02:14,800 --> 00:02:17,160 Speaker 1: or awesome if I hang the chart and rod? 45 00:02:17,280 --> 00:02:20,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, I like somebody that that just sort of gets in, 46 00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:21,840 Speaker 2: whether they know how to do it or not, and 47 00:02:22,160 --> 00:02:23,840 Speaker 2: just does it and at least tries it. 48 00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:27,280 Speaker 1: Love it having an Instagram or TikTok for their dog 49 00:02:27,360 --> 00:02:30,680 Speaker 1: or my case cat, you have one for your cat? No, 50 00:02:30,760 --> 00:02:32,880 Speaker 1: but I have two cats. Okay, but you don't have 51 00:02:32,960 --> 00:02:35,680 Speaker 1: an Instagram for your cat. Well I did, but just 52 00:02:35,720 --> 00:02:38,920 Speaker 1: for about ten seconds. Divorce ring here it comes. You know, 53 00:02:39,040 --> 00:02:40,320 Speaker 1: I was so in love with you. 54 00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:44,600 Speaker 2: I think I think that is ridiculous to have an 55 00:02:44,639 --> 00:02:47,200 Speaker 2: Instagram or a social media page four your. 56 00:02:47,160 --> 00:02:49,239 Speaker 1: I actually agree with you. I agree with you. Okay, 57 00:02:49,560 --> 00:02:52,440 Speaker 1: bench press? Now you know I lift weights. Bench pressing 58 00:02:52,480 --> 00:02:56,400 Speaker 1: their body weight attractive or a turn off depends on 59 00:02:56,400 --> 00:02:57,040 Speaker 1: what they're doing it for. 60 00:02:57,240 --> 00:03:00,959 Speaker 2: Okay, let me start over. I bench press. Wait, what 61 00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:02,600 Speaker 2: do you do it for? Do you do it for 62 00:03:02,720 --> 00:03:05,160 Speaker 2: fitness or do you do it for the way you 63 00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:06,200 Speaker 2: are seen by other people? 64 00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:06,560 Speaker 1: Fitness? 65 00:03:06,560 --> 00:03:09,720 Speaker 2: Totally fitness, totally fitness. Then that's awesome. If you can 66 00:03:09,720 --> 00:03:10,720 Speaker 2: binge press your own weight. 67 00:03:10,800 --> 00:03:13,760 Speaker 1: Okay, thank you, I'll continue it. How about this one 68 00:03:13,840 --> 00:03:15,560 Speaker 1: wearing makeup to the gym? 69 00:03:16,080 --> 00:03:19,200 Speaker 2: Uh? It doesn't And I answer this one sure stupidest 70 00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:21,080 Speaker 2: thing ever. It just doesn't make any sense to me. 71 00:03:21,120 --> 00:03:23,680 Speaker 2: It's like you're gonna sweat, Like the idea is that 72 00:03:23,720 --> 00:03:25,240 Speaker 2: you're going to go there and you're going to work out. 73 00:03:25,840 --> 00:03:29,079 Speaker 2: I you're not wearing makeup for anybody for yourself. You're 74 00:03:29,080 --> 00:03:31,079 Speaker 2: wearing it for everybody else. That's right, and you shouldn't 75 00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:33,440 Speaker 2: give it. And you're there to work out, so leave 76 00:03:33,480 --> 00:03:34,960 Speaker 2: the making. I think you're going for the wrong reason. 77 00:03:35,240 --> 00:03:37,240 Speaker 2: It's the same way I feel when I go to 78 00:03:37,320 --> 00:03:39,800 Speaker 2: like a hike and there's somebody walking in nice shoes. 79 00:03:39,880 --> 00:03:42,040 Speaker 1: It's like, what are you doing? Well, that's just stupid, 80 00:03:42,040 --> 00:03:43,800 Speaker 1: that's super problems with your ankles. 81 00:03:43,920 --> 00:03:47,480 Speaker 2: It's asking for like multiple trips to the shoe store 82 00:03:47,520 --> 00:03:48,240 Speaker 2: to buy new shoes. 83 00:03:48,360 --> 00:03:50,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, I agree, total one. I have Miking boots. I 84 00:03:50,960 --> 00:03:54,320 Speaker 1: wear mine. Okay, talking about this one blows my mind. 85 00:03:54,520 --> 00:03:57,960 Speaker 1: Talking about astrology and taking it seriously and like, I 86 00:03:57,960 --> 00:04:00,480 Speaker 1: don't know what sign you are? What sign are you cancer? 87 00:04:01,080 --> 00:04:05,240 Speaker 1: I'm a What do you think I am? A Taurus? 88 00:04:05,280 --> 00:04:08,560 Speaker 1: I am? Because you just almost said it, Oh damn. 89 00:04:09,080 --> 00:04:13,840 Speaker 2: Okay, but I'm just gonna psychic and your psychic. 90 00:04:14,040 --> 00:04:16,159 Speaker 1: So do you think it's attractive or turn off the 91 00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:21,200 Speaker 1: woman sitting there talking about her astrology sign? I think. 92 00:04:22,839 --> 00:04:25,840 Speaker 2: Again, I think it depends. I it's I don't I 93 00:04:25,880 --> 00:04:30,360 Speaker 2: don't generalize those answers. I think astrology is fun if 94 00:04:30,360 --> 00:04:32,880 Speaker 2: it's part of somebody, if it's your. 95 00:04:32,800 --> 00:04:37,400 Speaker 1: Only thing, that cancer or always well. 96 00:04:37,279 --> 00:04:39,200 Speaker 2: That and then like all they want to do is 97 00:04:39,200 --> 00:04:41,720 Speaker 2: sit and talk about astrology. You're like, can we talk 98 00:04:41,720 --> 00:04:43,800 Speaker 2: about like in the moon of the seventh Sun? I'm 99 00:04:43,839 --> 00:04:46,520 Speaker 2: over at Yeah, totally. I don't care what you're like 100 00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:49,000 Speaker 2: your rising sign is it's too much. 101 00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:53,440 Speaker 1: I don't care. Okay, this one turn off or attractive 102 00:04:53,520 --> 00:04:55,520 Speaker 1: to drink beer if a woman drinks a beer, I 103 00:04:55,520 --> 00:04:57,520 Speaker 1: can't even we can't even do this one, Like, who 104 00:04:57,560 --> 00:05:01,719 Speaker 1: cares if you want to drink drink? Okay? Pick up lines? 105 00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:03,800 Speaker 1: A woman's got some pickup lines. I got some good 106 00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:06,280 Speaker 1: pickup lines. Is it attractive if I come up to 107 00:05:06,320 --> 00:05:09,640 Speaker 1: you and say hi, Joe? Oh wait and you go 108 00:05:09,680 --> 00:05:11,599 Speaker 1: on money, it's not joannacho. Oh, I have a friend 109 00:05:11,640 --> 00:05:13,320 Speaker 1: that looks just like you was saying Joe. By the way, 110 00:05:13,360 --> 00:05:15,080 Speaker 1: what's your name? Yeah? 111 00:05:15,480 --> 00:05:20,440 Speaker 2: That's so cheesy. Yeah, that's I'm not a fan of 112 00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:24,000 Speaker 2: pickup lines. You that was that was nice. I'm and 113 00:05:24,040 --> 00:05:26,000 Speaker 2: you've never used that one before. This is the first 114 00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:28,000 Speaker 2: first time I actually stole it from someone else, and 115 00:05:28,040 --> 00:05:29,599 Speaker 2: I would never do it so it's a it's a 116 00:05:29,640 --> 00:05:30,159 Speaker 2: six shooter. 117 00:05:30,240 --> 00:05:30,839 Speaker 1: I would. 118 00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:33,680 Speaker 2: You were here on a ranch, so I figured I 119 00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:37,279 Speaker 2: would tie it all in together. Yeah, I don't to 120 00:05:37,360 --> 00:05:40,719 Speaker 2: me pick up lines like you're starting off the wrong way. 121 00:05:40,880 --> 00:05:43,640 Speaker 1: Yeah. On the other hand, the hell are you supposed 122 00:05:43,640 --> 00:05:45,760 Speaker 1: to meet somebody? If you you got to say something? Yeah, 123 00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:47,479 Speaker 1: you walk up and you say hello, and you say 124 00:05:47,480 --> 00:05:49,520 Speaker 1: your name, and you ask what their name is, and 125 00:05:49,520 --> 00:05:51,400 Speaker 1: then you start a conversation and you see if you 126 00:05:51,400 --> 00:05:53,360 Speaker 1: guys have anything in common. That's the way. Don't that's 127 00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:58,480 Speaker 1: way too all right? All right? What about wearing at 128 00:05:58,560 --> 00:06:01,200 Speaker 1: leisure wear when not working now, which is how I live? 129 00:06:01,279 --> 00:06:03,240 Speaker 2: So be careful what you said. Yeah, I don't. I 130 00:06:03,279 --> 00:06:07,480 Speaker 2: look at me like I'm not. I just got my first, 131 00:06:07,760 --> 00:06:10,360 Speaker 2: you know, country cowboy hat today. 132 00:06:10,839 --> 00:06:12,559 Speaker 1: First, I don't. 133 00:06:12,760 --> 00:06:16,080 Speaker 2: I wear leisure comfortable stuff all the time. The only 134 00:06:16,120 --> 00:06:18,200 Speaker 2: time I don't. But when there's a dress code. 135 00:06:18,279 --> 00:06:20,479 Speaker 1: Okay, But what about a woman. Do you want a 136 00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:22,120 Speaker 1: woman in an evening gown as a measure? 137 00:06:22,240 --> 00:06:24,400 Speaker 2: No, I know, I want somebody to be comfortable. I 138 00:06:24,400 --> 00:06:26,440 Speaker 2: want to be able to enjoy our day. 139 00:06:26,960 --> 00:06:28,520 Speaker 1: All right, all right, I like it. 140 00:06:28,520 --> 00:06:28,800 Speaker 2: All right. 141 00:06:28,839 --> 00:06:32,200 Speaker 1: Now we're going to move into some questioner. Well, these 142 00:06:32,240 --> 00:06:34,960 Speaker 1: are tougher, but they're specific for me because I am single. 143 00:06:35,279 --> 00:06:37,480 Speaker 1: I was married for many many moons and my husband 144 00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:40,080 Speaker 1: passed away, and so I'm in the dating market. I'm 145 00:06:40,120 --> 00:06:41,960 Speaker 1: not engaged like you are. But you know, if there 146 00:06:42,040 --> 00:06:45,520 Speaker 1: is a god this time next year, I'll be right there. 147 00:06:46,120 --> 00:06:48,720 Speaker 2: If there is a god, he's got you on the 148 00:06:48,760 --> 00:06:49,960 Speaker 2: path that you're supposed to be. 149 00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:50,840 Speaker 1: I actually agree with. 150 00:06:50,800 --> 00:06:53,680 Speaker 2: That, and you will meet someone and you'll be in 151 00:06:53,839 --> 00:06:57,000 Speaker 2: something if and when you're supposed to be. But if 152 00:06:57,000 --> 00:07:01,960 Speaker 2: you're searching for it, you could sidetrack yourself from what 153 00:07:02,200 --> 00:07:03,560 Speaker 2: path you're actually supposed to be on. 154 00:07:03,680 --> 00:07:05,919 Speaker 1: Absolutely agree with you. You're such a wise man. I 155 00:07:05,920 --> 00:07:09,840 Speaker 1: actually agree with you. Okay. So I'm of a certain 156 00:07:09,880 --> 00:07:12,480 Speaker 1: age and I am very fit, and I love to 157 00:07:12,480 --> 00:07:15,800 Speaker 1: work out and I have a lot of energy. So 158 00:07:16,480 --> 00:07:21,640 Speaker 1: I tend to look to date guys younger. So how 159 00:07:21,640 --> 00:07:24,920 Speaker 1: should I dress, because you know, do I want to 160 00:07:24,920 --> 00:07:27,440 Speaker 1: look my age or I want to look younger? You know, sexy, 161 00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:31,560 Speaker 1: short skirt? How do I look sexy? But also, and 162 00:07:31,600 --> 00:07:33,360 Speaker 1: I don't even like the word sexy. How do I 163 00:07:33,480 --> 00:07:39,520 Speaker 1: look that I'm interested and I'm approachable, but also appropriate 164 00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:43,600 Speaker 1: approachable but appropriate. I could have give me these questions earlier, 165 00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:44,320 Speaker 1: but you told me not to. 166 00:07:44,480 --> 00:07:50,160 Speaker 2: I think, you know, I think, I think honestly, you 167 00:07:50,200 --> 00:07:57,680 Speaker 2: should dress the way you dress like it is. It's 168 00:07:57,880 --> 00:08:00,000 Speaker 2: it again. It's going to depend on what it is 169 00:08:00,120 --> 00:08:02,160 Speaker 2: you're doing. If you're meeting somebody for the first time, 170 00:08:02,200 --> 00:08:04,200 Speaker 2: you're going to a nice restaurant, you're going to have dinner, 171 00:08:04,240 --> 00:08:07,760 Speaker 2: you dress appropriately for that, but you still dress the 172 00:08:07,800 --> 00:08:12,840 Speaker 2: way you would dress. Don't dress pretending to be somebody 173 00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:15,600 Speaker 2: else or something else, because I think you're setting yourself 174 00:08:15,680 --> 00:08:22,320 Speaker 2: up for disappointment and failure. You are creating a version 175 00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:25,120 Speaker 2: of yourself that doesn't actually exist. So you're only going 176 00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:27,560 Speaker 2: to be able to maintain that for so long. 177 00:08:27,760 --> 00:08:30,240 Speaker 1: Okay, So mostly you're telling me to dress how I 178 00:08:30,280 --> 00:08:35,400 Speaker 1: feel comfortable. So this means to wear with cowboy boots. 179 00:08:35,160 --> 00:08:40,800 Speaker 1: It means how you would normally dress. Again appropriate to 180 00:08:40,920 --> 00:08:54,920 Speaker 1: the situation. All right, what are younger men attracted to? Like? 181 00:08:55,040 --> 00:08:58,320 Speaker 1: How do I make myself attractive to younger men? Another 182 00:08:58,360 --> 00:09:00,600 Speaker 1: way of saying it, Oh my god, Well, I mean 183 00:09:00,720 --> 00:09:04,920 Speaker 1: you have to decide what you are really looking for 184 00:09:04,960 --> 00:09:07,400 Speaker 1: and if you want to be attracting younger men or not. 185 00:09:09,240 --> 00:09:13,880 Speaker 2: The reality is the younger men tend to be much 186 00:09:13,880 --> 00:09:15,360 Speaker 2: more immature than women do. 187 00:09:16,360 --> 00:09:19,280 Speaker 1: That's true. But here's the thing men my age, you 188 00:09:19,280 --> 00:09:22,160 Speaker 1: know I talk about on my podcast. They're used to guys. 189 00:09:22,400 --> 00:09:24,960 Speaker 1: They used to ski, they used to ride bicycles, they 190 00:09:25,080 --> 00:09:27,160 Speaker 1: used to golf. You were saying that, I said, And 191 00:09:27,160 --> 00:09:28,960 Speaker 1: now they sit on the sofa with the beer and 192 00:09:29,040 --> 00:09:31,400 Speaker 1: you know, and and a big gut and watch, you know, 193 00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:35,920 Speaker 1: watch the march madness. I mean, it's like finding guys 194 00:09:35,920 --> 00:09:38,199 Speaker 1: who share the same energy that I have. 195 00:09:38,480 --> 00:09:41,520 Speaker 2: I think, I think being one hundred percent true to 196 00:09:41,600 --> 00:09:45,560 Speaker 2: your energy is the best thing that you can do. Again, 197 00:09:46,400 --> 00:09:49,920 Speaker 2: because you're going to be you daily. So you can 198 00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:52,320 Speaker 2: show up trying to pretend to be something else, but 199 00:09:52,679 --> 00:09:55,800 Speaker 2: that's not going to last long and you're gonna end 200 00:09:55,880 --> 00:10:00,280 Speaker 2: up going from a relationship to relationship trying to you 201 00:10:00,440 --> 00:10:03,319 Speaker 2: fit some sort of a mold that you don't that 202 00:10:03,679 --> 00:10:05,800 Speaker 2: isn't you. Yeah, And you want to find somebody to 203 00:10:05,840 --> 00:10:08,280 Speaker 2: share your life with, yes, And I also want somebody 204 00:10:08,280 --> 00:10:12,360 Speaker 2: who accepts me for me. Yes, Okay this you know, 205 00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:15,080 Speaker 2: I have a lot of questions to you, so this one, no. 206 00:10:15,160 --> 00:10:18,360 Speaker 1: I'm just gonna keep pummeling you. Yeah, but I do. 207 00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:20,840 Speaker 1: I think you are why I mean this truthfully, I 208 00:10:20,840 --> 00:10:22,600 Speaker 1: think you're a smart guy with a lot you have 209 00:10:22,640 --> 00:10:26,120 Speaker 1: sage advice, So I'm going to continue on here. There's 210 00:10:26,160 --> 00:10:28,720 Speaker 1: no surprise to you even though we just met. I 211 00:10:28,760 --> 00:10:31,200 Speaker 1: do have a strong personality, no two ways about it. 212 00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:33,720 Speaker 1: You do. But I also have a soft side. Here's 213 00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:36,080 Speaker 1: the thing about me. You have to get to know 214 00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:39,240 Speaker 1: me before I'm going to show you my soft side. 215 00:10:39,440 --> 00:10:41,880 Speaker 1: And that's just why I'm built. I can't change who 216 00:10:41,880 --> 00:10:45,320 Speaker 1: I am. How do I not intimidate men so that 217 00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:47,360 Speaker 1: they're willing to get to know me. 218 00:10:48,120 --> 00:10:51,480 Speaker 2: I think if you represent yourself in a way where 219 00:10:51,559 --> 00:10:56,679 Speaker 2: you make it obvious that you're closed off to really 220 00:10:56,720 --> 00:11:00,280 Speaker 2: connecting with someone, then it becomes intimidating for people to 221 00:11:00,320 --> 00:11:04,440 Speaker 2: be around you because they feel like, what's it going 222 00:11:04,520 --> 00:11:07,960 Speaker 2: to take for me to like get past the hard 223 00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:11,240 Speaker 2: candy fell and get to the guy center? 224 00:11:11,480 --> 00:11:11,680 Speaker 1: You know? 225 00:11:13,720 --> 00:11:17,480 Speaker 2: I think you need to. I think there's a certain 226 00:11:17,520 --> 00:11:21,880 Speaker 2: point where you maybe just in being honest in a 227 00:11:21,920 --> 00:11:25,360 Speaker 2: situation and going listen, I am not someone that opens 228 00:11:25,440 --> 00:11:29,559 Speaker 2: up right away. Then somebody knows that, so then they 229 00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:32,760 Speaker 2: don't take it personal that you're not opening up. Yeah, 230 00:11:32,840 --> 00:11:35,040 Speaker 2: but I think if you don't say that and you 231 00:11:35,480 --> 00:11:38,560 Speaker 2: just are, you have these walls up and you you're 232 00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:42,160 Speaker 2: a bit distant, people start taking it personally because that's 233 00:11:42,400 --> 00:11:45,520 Speaker 2: we're human beings, and that's that's kind of the first 234 00:11:45,559 --> 00:11:47,360 Speaker 2: place we go to. It's like, oh, they must not 235 00:11:47,559 --> 00:11:49,800 Speaker 2: like me because they don't want to talk about anything 236 00:11:49,920 --> 00:11:50,640 Speaker 2: beyond this. 237 00:11:51,559 --> 00:11:57,080 Speaker 1: So so I often men have said to me, Wow, Cathy, 238 00:11:57,400 --> 00:12:01,360 Speaker 1: you're beautiful, you're smart, but damn you're a lot and 239 00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:04,400 Speaker 1: I and that hurts my feelings, and so I'll say 240 00:12:04,400 --> 00:12:10,520 Speaker 1: something like I'll say something like I'm I'm too much. 241 00:12:10,559 --> 00:12:12,360 Speaker 1: They'll say you're too much, and I'll say I'm too 242 00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:16,320 Speaker 1: much or maybe you're just not enough because to me, 243 00:12:16,679 --> 00:12:17,640 Speaker 1: if they can't do. 244 00:12:17,640 --> 00:12:20,120 Speaker 2: You say that though as like a defense mechanism to 245 00:12:21,080 --> 00:12:22,320 Speaker 2: feel better for yourself. 246 00:12:22,400 --> 00:12:24,760 Speaker 1: Well, probably because I'm irritated that they don't want to 247 00:12:24,760 --> 00:12:27,480 Speaker 1: take the time or don't have the ability or whatever 248 00:12:27,520 --> 00:12:30,240 Speaker 1: it is, especially if I'm attracted. So you take it 249 00:12:30,240 --> 00:12:32,679 Speaker 1: as an insult right away when you Yeah, I think 250 00:12:32,720 --> 00:12:36,680 Speaker 1: I do, but it's mostly because come on, you're you're 251 00:12:36,960 --> 00:12:39,960 Speaker 1: not you, Brian. But a guy that I meet that 252 00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:43,240 Speaker 1: I'm interested in. Come on, you're a smart guy. Surely 253 00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:46,120 Speaker 1: you see that there's more to me that I can 254 00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:48,440 Speaker 1: have a vulnerable side. Are you just are you not 255 00:12:48,440 --> 00:12:50,040 Speaker 1: willing to do the work? Like I don't want to 256 00:12:50,080 --> 00:12:52,480 Speaker 1: say that, but it's like you got to put some 257 00:12:52,640 --> 00:12:55,920 Speaker 1: energy into this. What because I'm not a sweet, bless 258 00:12:55,960 --> 00:12:59,960 Speaker 1: your little soul kind of girl. But are you are? 259 00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:03,520 Speaker 1: Are you not as a defense mechanism or are you not? 260 00:13:03,760 --> 00:13:09,839 Speaker 2: Because you just honestly aren't. 261 00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:09,120 Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying? 262 00:13:09,280 --> 00:13:14,160 Speaker 2: No, Like, is it something that you have built in 263 00:13:14,240 --> 00:13:18,720 Speaker 2: a lifetime of disappointments and things where you're like, I'm 264 00:13:18,720 --> 00:13:21,720 Speaker 2: not going to share and connect right away. 265 00:13:21,840 --> 00:13:24,840 Speaker 1: Instead, I'm going to put this for no I can 266 00:13:25,080 --> 00:13:28,880 Speaker 1: I can tell you honestly, for me, and I've just 267 00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:33,960 Speaker 1: actually put this together recently for me to put myself 268 00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:38,800 Speaker 1: out there and be really be vulnerable and really tell 269 00:13:38,920 --> 00:13:42,040 Speaker 1: someone that I want them in my life. I'm afraid 270 00:13:43,320 --> 00:13:46,679 Speaker 1: of being abandoned again. And you know, my husband died 271 00:13:46,720 --> 00:13:49,360 Speaker 1: by suicide and to me, call it whatever you want, 272 00:13:49,640 --> 00:13:54,000 Speaker 1: it feels like you know he left me. I wasn't 273 00:13:54,040 --> 00:13:55,880 Speaker 1: good enough. There was a reason he left, right, even 274 00:13:55,880 --> 00:13:57,640 Speaker 1: though it's not my fault. I know that, so I 275 00:13:57,679 --> 00:13:59,959 Speaker 1: don't want to be left again. So it's it's you're now, 276 00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:02,160 Speaker 1: you're right. It's sort of a defense mechanism. I'm not 277 00:14:02,160 --> 00:14:05,640 Speaker 1: going to put a lot of energy into this because 278 00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:07,760 Speaker 1: I don't want you leaving me. If I decide I 279 00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:10,000 Speaker 1: want you, and then down the road you say, hey, 280 00:14:10,040 --> 00:14:12,520 Speaker 1: you know what do you want? I mean, what kind 281 00:14:12,520 --> 00:14:14,720 Speaker 1: of a relationship do you want? Are you looking just 282 00:14:14,760 --> 00:14:18,120 Speaker 1: to date? No, I'm looking for a permanent I'm looking 283 00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:20,800 Speaker 1: this is I do Part two. I'm looking for my 284 00:14:21,440 --> 00:14:25,240 Speaker 1: part two. I say it many times, this is the 285 00:14:25,360 --> 00:14:28,600 Speaker 1: last great chapter of my life. I want it to 286 00:14:28,640 --> 00:14:31,080 Speaker 1: be the best chapter. I want it to be the 287 00:14:31,560 --> 00:14:33,840 Speaker 1: you know, the longest it can be, but I want 288 00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:36,600 Speaker 1: it to be the best and greatest chapter of my life, 289 00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:39,280 Speaker 1: notwithstanding the great marriage I had with my husband and 290 00:14:39,360 --> 00:14:43,360 Speaker 1: my three kids. I want to I look to the future. 291 00:14:43,440 --> 00:14:46,560 Speaker 1: I try to look in the rearview mirror. So you know, 292 00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:47,880 Speaker 1: that's kind of what I'm after. 293 00:14:48,120 --> 00:14:50,560 Speaker 2: I think though, So it's interesting that you said that 294 00:14:50,560 --> 00:14:52,440 Speaker 2: that you look to the future instead. 295 00:14:52,120 --> 00:14:53,040 Speaker 1: Of in the rearview mirror. 296 00:14:53,040 --> 00:14:56,480 Speaker 2: But a lot of your actions are looking in the 297 00:14:56,520 --> 00:14:57,080 Speaker 2: rear view mirror. 298 00:14:57,160 --> 00:14:59,040 Speaker 1: Oh, man, this is tough. 299 00:14:59,080 --> 00:15:03,760 Speaker 2: Why do you say, because you have these red flags 300 00:15:03,800 --> 00:15:06,680 Speaker 2: and these things where you're like, Okay, I got to 301 00:15:06,680 --> 00:15:09,680 Speaker 2: make them prove too much. I've experienced this before, so 302 00:15:09,720 --> 00:15:11,960 Speaker 2: I'm going to make sure that this hurdle is cleared 303 00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:14,840 Speaker 2: before I jump in. But then when you look back, 304 00:15:15,240 --> 00:15:17,480 Speaker 2: or to me at least, when I look back on 305 00:15:17,520 --> 00:15:21,840 Speaker 2: my life and I think of my best relationships, my 306 00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:25,240 Speaker 2: best relationship up until the one I'm in now, because 307 00:15:25,240 --> 00:15:27,760 Speaker 2: this one we went into in a new way, which 308 00:15:27,840 --> 00:15:32,760 Speaker 2: was incredibly refreshing, was my first because I went in wholeheartedly. 309 00:15:33,360 --> 00:15:36,520 Speaker 2: I didn't have any of the red flags. I loved 310 00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:39,000 Speaker 2: her and I was in it, and I had never 311 00:15:39,680 --> 00:15:42,840 Speaker 2: had my heart broken before and I never had no 312 00:15:43,040 --> 00:15:46,600 Speaker 2: That was my first real relationship. Was the first time 313 00:15:46,640 --> 00:15:49,000 Speaker 2: I really went into something and went, Okay, I'm like, 314 00:15:49,040 --> 00:15:52,280 Speaker 2: I'm gonna do a relationship. But I think that you 315 00:15:52,400 --> 00:15:56,360 Speaker 2: have to sort of go into all of the relationships 316 00:15:56,440 --> 00:15:58,880 Speaker 2: in that fresh way. You have to be willing to 317 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:04,320 Speaker 2: possibly get hurt, to be loved fully, and to be 318 00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:08,760 Speaker 2: in it fully and really really appreciate it and have it. 319 00:16:09,440 --> 00:16:13,200 Speaker 2: You know, it's the hardest things in life, can be 320 00:16:13,360 --> 00:16:16,200 Speaker 2: the most painful sometimes, but you have to be willing to. 321 00:16:16,520 --> 00:16:19,600 Speaker 1: So you're saying the risk is worth the reward, or 322 00:16:19,680 --> 00:16:23,480 Speaker 1: can be. It can be Absolutely, that's great about it. 323 00:16:23,520 --> 00:16:25,760 Speaker 1: I mean I feel like I it's not easy. It's 324 00:16:25,760 --> 00:16:27,040 Speaker 1: not easy, and you're right. 325 00:16:27,160 --> 00:16:29,640 Speaker 2: I mean, I you think the road less traveled is 326 00:16:29,680 --> 00:16:31,920 Speaker 2: called the road less traveled for a reason because it's 327 00:16:32,040 --> 00:16:33,080 Speaker 2: the harder road to take. 328 00:16:33,480 --> 00:16:35,760 Speaker 1: Damn, how did you get to be so smart? I 329 00:16:36,080 --> 00:16:39,480 Speaker 1: year's a failure. Yeah, well, you know, I'm not afraid 330 00:16:39,520 --> 00:16:42,320 Speaker 1: to fail at this point in my life. I don't 331 00:16:42,320 --> 00:16:46,960 Speaker 1: think I'm afraid to fail. I think I'm afraid. I 332 00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:49,600 Speaker 1: think I'm afraid to be accepted for who I am. 333 00:16:49,600 --> 00:16:51,720 Speaker 1: Not afraid that it can't that that's going to be 334 00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:55,080 Speaker 1: really hard because I'm not your typical woman. I know that, 335 00:16:55,480 --> 00:16:58,359 Speaker 1: and that's why, that's why all the that's the genesis 336 00:16:58,400 --> 00:17:02,239 Speaker 1: of all these questions. I think I didn't I was special. 337 00:17:02,520 --> 00:17:05,160 Speaker 1: I'm just different from a lot of my single friends. 338 00:17:05,200 --> 00:17:08,639 Speaker 1: But you are. But don't say that you're not special. Like, no, 339 00:17:08,720 --> 00:17:11,480 Speaker 1: I'm saying I'm not. I'm not. You know, it's a 340 00:17:11,520 --> 00:17:15,520 Speaker 1: loaded term. I'm saying I know who I am. I've 341 00:17:15,560 --> 00:17:17,879 Speaker 1: done a lot of therapy. I am so clear about 342 00:17:17,920 --> 00:17:20,160 Speaker 1: who I am and what I want. But I think 343 00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:22,240 Speaker 1: sometimes that gets lost in the translation. 344 00:17:22,920 --> 00:17:25,040 Speaker 2: Well, and I'm sure a lot of times too, that 345 00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:29,880 Speaker 2: will sort of cloud situations where you meet with somebody 346 00:17:29,920 --> 00:17:33,720 Speaker 2: because you're so set on I am not going to 347 00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:35,800 Speaker 2: be who I don't want to be and this is 348 00:17:35,840 --> 00:17:38,119 Speaker 2: about me now and I'm going to you know, this 349 00:17:38,280 --> 00:17:40,840 Speaker 2: is my power and I'm going to take and you 350 00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:44,760 Speaker 2: can almost It's like putting a big log on a 351 00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:45,399 Speaker 2: tiny fire. 352 00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:50,080 Speaker 1: Wow, you know. I mean, I should be paying for 353 00:17:50,119 --> 00:17:54,000 Speaker 1: this therapy session, right, but I charge so much money. 354 00:17:54,040 --> 00:17:55,199 Speaker 1: I'm worth it. I'm worth it. 355 00:17:56,160 --> 00:17:58,679 Speaker 2: But I think it's I think it's really important to 356 00:17:59,200 --> 00:18:02,680 Speaker 2: identify what you really want. 357 00:18:03,480 --> 00:18:04,320 Speaker 1: I know exactly what. 358 00:18:04,560 --> 00:18:11,000 Speaker 2: It's a real honest, loving relationship. You need to be 359 00:18:11,040 --> 00:18:13,359 Speaker 2: willing to put yourself out for it. You need to 360 00:18:13,440 --> 00:18:15,920 Speaker 2: be willing to take risks for it, and you need 361 00:18:15,960 --> 00:18:19,919 Speaker 2: to be willing to listen. I'm just heartedly jump in 362 00:18:19,960 --> 00:18:23,120 Speaker 2: and go Okay, like this could hurt at the end, 363 00:18:23,320 --> 00:18:24,760 Speaker 2: but this could be amazing. 364 00:18:24,920 --> 00:18:27,360 Speaker 1: But I'm also to remember I was married very young. 365 00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:31,119 Speaker 1: I was twenty, so I'm just learning now. I mean, 366 00:18:31,160 --> 00:18:33,960 Speaker 1: I've got a bunch of other questions that sound so 367 00:18:34,760 --> 00:18:38,800 Speaker 1: inane given what we're talking about. No, but, but, but 368 00:18:38,960 --> 00:18:42,320 Speaker 1: and yet and yet there are questions that are real 369 00:18:42,400 --> 00:18:46,760 Speaker 1: ways to approach the whole idea of dating, if that 370 00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:51,040 Speaker 1: makes sense. And so like, I'm not going to a bar. 371 00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:53,280 Speaker 1: I mean, I go to lots of bars. I get it. 372 00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:55,560 Speaker 1: I totally get it. I go to lots of bars. 373 00:18:55,600 --> 00:18:59,560 Speaker 1: But to meet a guy. I hate dating apps. I 374 00:18:59,560 --> 00:19:05,439 Speaker 1: don't want them. You know, I've met a few guys that. 375 00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:08,800 Speaker 1: But but to meet the kind of guy I want 376 00:19:08,840 --> 00:19:11,480 Speaker 1: my it's not the same that you want to share 377 00:19:11,480 --> 00:19:13,320 Speaker 1: your life that you want it's not the same as 378 00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:15,760 Speaker 1: a So when I think about, you know, do I 379 00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:18,720 Speaker 1: want to go into a bar and say, hey, Brian, 380 00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:20,800 Speaker 1: can I buy you? Know, what's your name, whatever it is, 381 00:19:20,840 --> 00:19:23,040 Speaker 1: you know, can I buy you a drink? Like? I'm 382 00:19:23,040 --> 00:19:25,720 Speaker 1: not that kind of and I'm not. I'm from New England. 383 00:19:25,760 --> 00:19:28,919 Speaker 1: I'm a Boston girl. I'm a Yankee girl, which means 384 00:19:29,240 --> 00:19:32,000 Speaker 1: I say what I think, I mean what I say, 385 00:19:32,480 --> 00:19:34,960 Speaker 1: and I come off. Some people will tell me I'm rude. 386 00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:38,639 Speaker 1: I'm just direct. I don't play games, so you can 387 00:19:38,640 --> 00:19:40,919 Speaker 1: see that doesn't know what's play well, so walking up 388 00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:42,919 Speaker 1: to some guy and say, hey, you know it's your 389 00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:45,840 Speaker 1: name Joe or whatever, like that's really playing games to me. 390 00:19:46,400 --> 00:19:49,400 Speaker 1: And so I want your opinion. How do I How 391 00:19:49,400 --> 00:19:53,960 Speaker 1: do I tweak that? How do I I? So it's 392 00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:57,320 Speaker 1: funny that you said that, because I've had this conversation 393 00:19:57,440 --> 00:20:01,239 Speaker 1: with people before. I'm from Los Angeles and I've had 394 00:20:01,240 --> 00:20:04,119 Speaker 1: a conversation with people before about Oh, I love New 395 00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:06,560 Speaker 1: York because they're just they're honest there and they just 396 00:20:06,600 --> 00:20:09,439 Speaker 1: tell it like it is. And I always have that 397 00:20:09,560 --> 00:20:13,160 Speaker 1: question comes into my mind of are they being honest 398 00:20:13,840 --> 00:20:19,480 Speaker 1: or are they just being rude to because it's easier 399 00:20:19,600 --> 00:20:20,000 Speaker 1: for them. 400 00:20:20,040 --> 00:20:22,560 Speaker 2: It's easier to just be kind of blunt and whatever 401 00:20:22,760 --> 00:20:24,880 Speaker 2: and act like you don't care what anybody. 402 00:20:24,920 --> 00:20:27,520 Speaker 1: But I don't think I'm ever rude. I take it. 403 00:20:27,880 --> 00:20:31,320 Speaker 1: I am. I try to always be kind of people, 404 00:20:31,840 --> 00:20:33,680 Speaker 1: and that's not if you say, what do you think? 405 00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:37,719 Speaker 1: Or I'm joking I'm a joke. But I don't tolerate rudeness. 406 00:20:37,840 --> 00:20:41,040 Speaker 1: I'm I would never describe myself as right. 407 00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:46,199 Speaker 2: I agree like I don't tolerate rudeness either. I I 408 00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:51,080 Speaker 2: work really hard, I live consciously every day to make 409 00:20:51,119 --> 00:20:55,679 Speaker 2: sure that I am kind to everybody that I'm around, 410 00:20:55,800 --> 00:20:57,360 Speaker 2: even if I'm having a bad day. 411 00:20:57,480 --> 00:20:59,359 Speaker 1: Yeah, me too, because you don't know what kind of 412 00:20:59,400 --> 00:20:59,920 Speaker 1: day they're having. 413 00:21:00,680 --> 00:21:02,800 Speaker 2: I always say to people like, the only control that 414 00:21:02,840 --> 00:21:06,439 Speaker 2: I feel like I have in life is the person 415 00:21:06,480 --> 00:21:07,240 Speaker 2: I choose. 416 00:21:06,960 --> 00:21:10,280 Speaker 1: To be when you're living it. Yep, I agree. And 417 00:21:11,560 --> 00:21:13,639 Speaker 1: all the time, right, I do all those things. I 418 00:21:13,680 --> 00:21:16,360 Speaker 1: wake up grateful for life. I thank God every day 419 00:21:16,359 --> 00:21:18,920 Speaker 1: I find something to be grateful about. But here's what 420 00:21:19,080 --> 00:21:23,159 Speaker 1: I get a lot of. I live in Texas, you know, 421 00:21:23,560 --> 00:21:28,320 Speaker 1: and Southern. I'll meet Southern men and they'll say, you know, 422 00:21:28,359 --> 00:21:31,320 Speaker 1: I recently met a guy who said, you're so refreshing 423 00:21:31,760 --> 00:21:35,120 Speaker 1: because you know, I was married to a Southern bell 424 00:21:35,240 --> 00:21:38,120 Speaker 1: and I'm done with Southern bells. I don't want someone 425 00:21:38,160 --> 00:21:41,520 Speaker 1: to want me because I'm the opposite of what they had, right. 426 00:21:41,680 --> 00:21:44,280 Speaker 1: I want somebody wants me for me being me. But 427 00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:47,359 Speaker 1: it's at my age it's really hard. I don't It's like, 428 00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:50,240 Speaker 1: as you get older, you don't have all the tools, 429 00:21:50,320 --> 00:21:53,960 Speaker 1: all the not tools. I don't even know how to 430 00:21:54,000 --> 00:22:00,679 Speaker 1: say it. You don't have access to the game changes. 431 00:22:00,960 --> 00:22:03,280 Speaker 1: It's you know, the board, the game, the board of 432 00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:05,879 Speaker 1: the game changes. It's like that instead of I mean, 433 00:22:05,920 --> 00:22:08,000 Speaker 1: I got all these metaphors. Instead of fifty two cards 434 00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:09,920 Speaker 1: in the deck, let's cut it down to about ten 435 00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:12,440 Speaker 1: cards in the deck because we're not wasting time with 436 00:22:12,720 --> 00:22:14,720 Speaker 1: you know, hi, my name is. You look like Joe. 437 00:22:15,040 --> 00:22:20,280 Speaker 1: So I struggle with being who I am and hoping 438 00:22:20,280 --> 00:22:21,399 Speaker 1: that a guy sees through it. 439 00:22:21,560 --> 00:22:25,280 Speaker 2: Why don't you try making a choice, because that's all, 440 00:22:25,680 --> 00:22:27,719 Speaker 2: that's all it is. I learned in therapy, like the 441 00:22:27,720 --> 00:22:32,560 Speaker 2: things that I wasn't that I wasn't good at, that 442 00:22:32,720 --> 00:22:35,800 Speaker 2: was that was who I was. I try now to 443 00:22:35,800 --> 00:22:38,040 Speaker 2: be the person I want to be compared to the 444 00:22:38,040 --> 00:22:42,960 Speaker 2: person that I am. So I would suggest maybe just 445 00:22:43,160 --> 00:22:54,640 Speaker 2: really making a very poignant choice to be emotionally honest 446 00:22:55,280 --> 00:22:57,679 Speaker 2: with people and sit and go you know this, like 447 00:22:57,840 --> 00:23:01,080 Speaker 2: I normally don't connect this way. I normally don't talk. 448 00:23:01,520 --> 00:23:04,320 Speaker 2: I don't want you to feel put out or or 449 00:23:04,480 --> 00:23:09,000 Speaker 2: feel like or feel like I don't genuinely like you 450 00:23:09,080 --> 00:23:11,600 Speaker 2: and want to try this, But I'm very I've been 451 00:23:11,640 --> 00:23:12,480 Speaker 2: through a lot of my life. 452 00:23:12,520 --> 00:23:15,280 Speaker 1: So what's too soon? What's too soon to say those things? 453 00:23:15,320 --> 00:23:18,120 Speaker 2: Because I say that from the very beginning, I say, 454 00:23:18,119 --> 00:23:21,280 Speaker 2: you start that way, and and then and then if 455 00:23:21,280 --> 00:23:23,160 Speaker 2: I get your too much, they don't. If you get 456 00:23:23,200 --> 00:23:25,200 Speaker 2: your too much, that is not somebody you want to 457 00:23:25,240 --> 00:23:29,480 Speaker 2: be with anyway. But you you, you act that way 458 00:23:29,880 --> 00:23:32,440 Speaker 2: and you speak that way in the hopes that somebody 459 00:23:32,480 --> 00:23:38,720 Speaker 2: really genuinely appreciates who you are and the person you're 460 00:23:38,760 --> 00:23:41,840 Speaker 2: trying to be. And they go, oh, I like that, 461 00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:44,000 Speaker 2: you said that, and thank you for telling me that. 462 00:23:44,080 --> 00:23:47,120 Speaker 2: And so now they've got that in their back pockets, 463 00:23:47,119 --> 00:23:51,600 Speaker 2: so they they don't take things personally, which again, like 464 00:23:51,640 --> 00:24:03,760 Speaker 2: we said before, we tend to do as human beings. 465 00:24:04,359 --> 00:24:07,400 Speaker 1: Your advice, I wish you could be inside my head 466 00:24:08,920 --> 00:24:11,359 Speaker 1: because a lot of what you're saying, like even this 467 00:24:11,400 --> 00:24:14,280 Speaker 1: conversation's hard for me to be honest because you've seen me. 468 00:24:14,680 --> 00:24:17,280 Speaker 1: I'm a joke a minute, I'm sure, just because that's 469 00:24:17,320 --> 00:24:20,320 Speaker 1: easy for me, It's totally I've been this way in 470 00:24:20,400 --> 00:24:24,040 Speaker 1: my whole life. And so but I do let people in. 471 00:24:24,600 --> 00:24:27,159 Speaker 1: I do let people in. But you know the guys 472 00:24:27,200 --> 00:24:29,159 Speaker 1: that say to me, oh, you're so funny, it's like 473 00:24:29,320 --> 00:24:33,480 Speaker 1: make me laugh, you know, it's sometimes I let a 474 00:24:33,560 --> 00:24:36,520 Speaker 1: man in too soon. That's what I struggle with when 475 00:24:36,520 --> 00:24:39,120 Speaker 1: and you just answered the question when is it too soon? 476 00:24:39,160 --> 00:24:41,240 Speaker 1: I guess the answer is it's never too sin, never 477 00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:42,440 Speaker 1: too soon. It's never too sin. 478 00:24:42,600 --> 00:24:46,080 Speaker 2: It's it's better to jump right into it and then 479 00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:48,639 Speaker 2: know right away. Okay, I'm not going to waste time 480 00:24:48,720 --> 00:24:52,120 Speaker 2: on this anymore then to sit and to try and 481 00:24:52,160 --> 00:24:54,360 Speaker 2: like put on a happy face and drag it out 482 00:24:54,400 --> 00:24:56,159 Speaker 2: for three weeks and then all of a sudden be 483 00:24:56,320 --> 00:24:59,160 Speaker 2: kind of emotionally connected to it and then be heartbroken 484 00:24:59,200 --> 00:24:59,880 Speaker 2: if things don't work. 485 00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:03,280 Speaker 1: Okay, So, knowing me as you do, because now we're 486 00:25:03,400 --> 00:25:06,960 Speaker 1: fast friends, what knowing my person, what's the biggest red 487 00:25:06,960 --> 00:25:08,840 Speaker 1: flag I should look up for that's not going to 488 00:25:08,920 --> 00:25:11,760 Speaker 1: serve me well? For you? 489 00:25:11,960 --> 00:25:15,600 Speaker 2: Yeah, somebody, that's somebody that is not going to appreciate 490 00:25:15,800 --> 00:25:20,960 Speaker 2: your honesty. That to me, you are who you are 491 00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:24,720 Speaker 2: and you are special because of that. So you want 492 00:25:24,760 --> 00:25:29,280 Speaker 2: to make sure that you find someone that appreciates and 493 00:25:29,400 --> 00:25:32,720 Speaker 2: loves that and and gets that sense of like, God, 494 00:25:32,840 --> 00:25:34,760 Speaker 2: I know I can I know I can trust you 495 00:25:35,560 --> 00:25:38,879 Speaker 2: because you're not going to bullshit me. And now that 496 00:25:38,960 --> 00:25:41,000 Speaker 2: I know you and I have had this conversation and 497 00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:44,080 Speaker 2: we've really connected, like I know and. 498 00:25:44,119 --> 00:25:45,879 Speaker 1: I have your fiancee's phone number I have to have 499 00:25:45,920 --> 00:25:46,359 Speaker 1: a look over. 500 00:25:46,560 --> 00:25:49,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, but I know that like you and I could 501 00:25:49,320 --> 00:25:51,320 Speaker 2: talk at any point no matter what is going on 502 00:25:51,400 --> 00:25:52,800 Speaker 2: in your life or what life is going on in 503 00:25:52,840 --> 00:25:54,679 Speaker 2: my life, that will have this. 504 00:25:55,320 --> 00:25:58,320 Speaker 1: Yeah. Do you think people Do you think people appreciate 505 00:25:58,359 --> 00:25:59,840 Speaker 1: the honesty for sure? 506 00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:05,119 Speaker 2: Okay, I think I think people appreciate, uh, anything that 507 00:26:05,200 --> 00:26:08,760 Speaker 2: normalizes and makes them feel like they're not so alone. 508 00:26:09,080 --> 00:26:12,960 Speaker 1: Okay, I didn't expect to get this. I mean, I 509 00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:15,560 Speaker 1: don't think anyone's gonna be listening to this podcast. But 510 00:26:15,560 --> 00:26:18,359 Speaker 1: but you know what, maybe someone will listen to it 511 00:26:19,280 --> 00:26:22,159 Speaker 1: who I care about or who cares about me and 512 00:26:22,200 --> 00:26:24,800 Speaker 1: will say, wow, now I get it. That is my hope. 513 00:26:24,880 --> 00:26:26,800 Speaker 1: That's not that one person heres. 514 00:26:26,800 --> 00:26:31,439 Speaker 2: So because none of what I'm saying is anything that 515 00:26:31,480 --> 00:26:34,280 Speaker 2: I found on that I came up with on my own. 516 00:26:34,320 --> 00:26:34,840 Speaker 1: This is all. 517 00:26:34,880 --> 00:26:37,720 Speaker 2: These are all things that I've heard and little things 518 00:26:37,720 --> 00:26:39,760 Speaker 2: that people have said that have become light bulb moments 519 00:26:39,800 --> 00:26:42,240 Speaker 2: where I go, it's not nearly as hard. 520 00:26:42,440 --> 00:26:46,280 Speaker 1: Yeah it should it shouldn't be. Okay, Well, I there 521 00:26:46,280 --> 00:26:49,080 Speaker 1: are I probably have another one hundred questions that I 522 00:26:49,080 --> 00:26:51,159 Speaker 1: could ask you. And I mean that, like I've I 523 00:26:51,200 --> 00:26:54,600 Speaker 1: wrote a bunch of questions because I just you know, 524 00:26:54,680 --> 00:26:57,639 Speaker 1: you're you're not a twenty year old and and and 525 00:26:57,680 --> 00:26:59,960 Speaker 1: you've been through life, You've had children, you've had divorce. 526 00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:02,880 Speaker 1: Say is you have a lot of wisdom that comes 527 00:27:02,920 --> 00:27:06,199 Speaker 1: with age. So will you maybe come back and do 528 00:27:06,240 --> 00:27:09,600 Speaker 1: another podcast with me? Okay, I'm gonna save my question. Absolutely, 529 00:27:10,080 --> 00:27:10,600 Speaker 1: thank you, I. 530 00:27:10,520 --> 00:27:12,840 Speaker 2: Really thank you, or you'll come up with new ones 531 00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:14,960 Speaker 2: now that we have the friendship that we do. 532 00:27:15,119 --> 00:27:17,760 Speaker 1: Yeah, I really appreciate you sitting down and talking with me, 533 00:27:17,840 --> 00:27:20,479 Speaker 1: and I mean that, Brian, Thanks, thanks so much. Do 534 00:27:20,560 --> 00:27:23,919 Speaker 1: you need some advice straight from a man? Call us 535 00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:26,760 Speaker 1: or email us. All the infos in the show notes. 536 00:27:27,359 --> 00:27:30,160 Speaker 1: Follow us on socials. Make sure to rate and review 537 00:27:30,200 --> 00:27:34,359 Speaker 1: the podcast. I Do Part two an iHeartRadio podcast where 538 00:27:34,440 --> 00:27:36,840 Speaker 1: falling in love is the main objective.