WEBVTT - Ep 348: Forget Your Couple Goals ft. Devale & Khadeen Ellis 0:00:06.200 --> 0:00:09.640 Hey, hey, Hey, we're back. 0:00:10.080 --> 0:00:17.200 We're black, We're brown. Ambition ambition, ambition, ambition, ambition. 0:00:17.720 --> 0:00:20.160 Hey Mannger, how are you good morning? 0:00:20.680 --> 0:00:22.720 I'm sure we have in there. How are you good? 0:00:22.760 --> 0:00:25.320 We have some extra black in black and black. I'm 0:00:25.320 --> 0:00:26.239 brown ambition. 0:00:25.960 --> 0:00:30.319 Today, I mean Claudruple the Chocolate today, Cuaudruple the Yes. 0:00:30.520 --> 0:00:33.040 I'm so excited to have these guests on, y'all. Yeah, 0:00:33.520 --> 0:00:35.199 these are old friends of yours. I feel like, but 0:00:35.280 --> 0:00:37.879 this is my first time meaning them. But it's yeah, 0:00:37.960 --> 0:00:38.239 I know. 0:00:38.280 --> 0:00:41.760 Well, honestly, if you are listening, I can almost guarantee 0:00:41.760 --> 0:00:43.880 that you know Duvaul and conteen. 0:00:45.400 --> 0:00:50.080 Elis. They've millennial married couple. 0:00:50.440 --> 0:00:52.280 First of all, they're both I feel like it's not 0:00:52.360 --> 0:00:54.400 fair for the gene pool that both y' all beautiful 0:00:54.680 --> 0:00:57.960 and just want to both married somebody ugly so that 0:00:58.040 --> 0:01:00.840 way we can spread the well. But now they were like, no, 0:01:01.360 --> 0:01:02.120 we're gonna keep it on. 0:01:02.160 --> 0:01:08.840 The kids are absolutely beautiful. 0:01:09.600 --> 0:01:12.920 They have a podcast themselves called Dead Ass with K 0:01:13.040 --> 0:01:15.479 and D that have been on several times, and they 0:01:15.480 --> 0:01:20.759 have a new book called We Over Me, The Counterintuitive 0:01:20.800 --> 0:01:24.080 Approach to Getting Everything you want from your relationship. 0:01:23.760 --> 0:01:26.280 And as of last week. 0:01:26.400 --> 0:01:33.720 They are New York Times best selling authors. 0:01:30.560 --> 0:01:34.680 Yes, welcome to the club. 0:01:34.720 --> 0:01:35.600 It's cute over here. 0:01:37.319 --> 0:01:39.480 Thank you, we can finally join you in some aspect 0:01:39.560 --> 0:01:40.720 of what. 0:01:44.640 --> 0:01:46.520 No, I just I'm just like really proud of you. 0:01:46.600 --> 0:01:48.920 I'm just so excited for you to be on here 0:01:48.960 --> 0:01:52.240 with us. Yes, Andy, well you know you don't know 0:01:52.360 --> 0:01:53.920 them any question. 0:01:53.800 --> 0:01:56.440 In person, but of course I know y'all like, of 0:01:56.480 --> 0:01:58.880 course I listen to dead ass and wait, remind me, 0:01:58.920 --> 0:02:01.520 y'all got your start of the YouTube channel, right. 0:02:02.040 --> 0:02:05.760 Actually we started with Instagram, Instagram stology. 0:02:06.280 --> 0:02:08.960 So for the people who haven't had the pleasure of 0:02:09.000 --> 0:02:11.280 meeting the LSS yet, tell us a little bit about 0:02:11.280 --> 0:02:14.600 how you got your start and how you came to 0:02:14.639 --> 0:02:16.600 the point where you were, like, let's put this into 0:02:16.600 --> 0:02:20.560 a book. Our marriage, our relationship. These skills are so magic. 0:02:20.639 --> 0:02:21.720 Everyone needs to know these. 0:02:22.480 --> 0:02:24.919 Well. The funny thing is, if you read the book, 0:02:24.960 --> 0:02:26.959 you realize that we're not even talking about how magical 0:02:27.040 --> 0:02:29.400 our skills are. We talked about how messed up we 0:02:29.480 --> 0:02:33.040 were when we first got We kind of figured things 0:02:33.080 --> 0:02:35.800 out that work for us. But it actually started on 0:02:35.840 --> 0:02:39.480 social media. As many people know, Kadeen is a host 0:02:39.480 --> 0:02:42.080 of TV hosts and I'm an actor. And since the 0:02:42.120 --> 0:02:44.880 first day we met in college and we talked about 0:02:44.880 --> 0:02:46.320 what our dreams were. Our dreams were to be in 0:02:46.360 --> 0:02:51.960 front of the camera. Fast forward about ten years. I 0:02:51.960 --> 0:02:54.440 had retired from the NFL and I was doing on auditions. 0:02:54.440 --> 0:02:57.720 I had booked a bunch of national commercials and Kadeen 0:02:57.800 --> 0:03:01.000 was doing some hosting and I was Power, which is 0:03:01.000 --> 0:03:04.799 my third time on prime time television. And I was 0:03:04.840 --> 0:03:07.680 with my son, Jackson at the time, who was I 0:03:07.680 --> 0:03:12.040 think four, and he said, I come on TV and 0:03:12.080 --> 0:03:14.480 we were all excited. My family's watching and he goes, Daddy, 0:03:15.400 --> 0:03:17.440 you always have on that outfit when you were on TV. 0:03:17.760 --> 0:03:20.640 And I had on an orange jumpsuit because that was 0:03:20.639 --> 0:03:24.680 my third time criminal on television. And it hurt because 0:03:24.680 --> 0:03:26.960 I was like, I was like, man, like here I 0:03:27.000 --> 0:03:30.280 am perpetualating the same stereotypes that I'm trying to eliminate 0:03:30.520 --> 0:03:31.800 with all of the work I do. I had a 0:03:31.840 --> 0:03:34.440 non for profit organization in Brooklyn who are helping young 0:03:34.480 --> 0:03:38.120 men get into college. So the very next day I 0:03:38.160 --> 0:03:42.000 had an audition for Blue Bloods and I'm going the 0:03:42.040 --> 0:03:45.000 audition and there are two lines. There's a line for 0:03:45.080 --> 0:03:46.880 an attorney and a doctor, and there's a line for 0:03:46.960 --> 0:03:50.400 inmate one and two. Of course, I'm in there to 0:03:50.440 --> 0:03:52.320 audition for inmate one and two. And I look on 0:03:52.320 --> 0:03:54.120 the line and there's nothing but black and brown men. 0:03:54.760 --> 0:03:56.280 So then I asked a question. I'm like, this is 0:03:56.280 --> 0:03:58.560 a co starring role. I said, maybe if I just 0:03:58.600 --> 0:04:00.160 asked to let me go into the other line. So 0:04:00.200 --> 0:04:02.680 why can audition as an attorney or a doctor? And 0:04:02.680 --> 0:04:04.480 the lady was just like, no, you know, we have 0:04:04.560 --> 0:04:08.520 specific audition times for specific people on that line. We're 0:04:08.560 --> 0:04:13.880 all white and Asian men. And I walked out and 0:04:13.960 --> 0:04:15.760 Kadin was like, man, that was a fast audition. And 0:04:15.800 --> 0:04:17.440 I was just like, I didn't do it. I'm not 0:04:17.480 --> 0:04:19.080 I can't do this anymore. And she was like duvow. 0:04:19.560 --> 0:04:21.159 She just walked out of the audition. I said, I 0:04:21.200 --> 0:04:25.240 can't continue to perpetuate the same stereotype. So she was like, well, 0:04:25.240 --> 0:04:28.679 what's your plan? I said, Instagram has just instituted fifteen 0:04:28.680 --> 0:04:33.080 second videos. I'm going to write little fifteen second like 0:04:33.200 --> 0:04:35.520 scenes for you and I and we're going to map 0:04:35.560 --> 0:04:37.800 it out and have our own little social sitcom called 0:04:37.839 --> 0:04:38.800 the Elysis. 0:04:38.839 --> 0:04:41.440 And I was like, okay, why do you want to 0:04:41.440 --> 0:04:41.839 do that? 0:04:44.920 --> 0:04:47.120 Just think about it. If we can show people that 0:04:47.160 --> 0:04:49.080 the black family exists, because at the time, it was 0:04:49.160 --> 0:04:51.440 just me, her and Jackson, and we can show them 0:04:51.480 --> 0:04:54.279 what our love looked like, and it's just a regular 0:04:54.520 --> 0:04:58.000 black family from Brooklyn, just grinding to make it through gentrification. 0:04:58.279 --> 0:04:59.960 And we had so many things that we could allu 0:05:00.080 --> 0:05:01.720 you and debate about because we were coming from a 0:05:01.720 --> 0:05:04.280 man's standpoint and a woman's standpoint, and we were using 0:05:04.320 --> 0:05:08.360 relationships as our basis. And she was like, all right, 0:05:08.400 --> 0:05:10.880 if you see it, I'm with it. Started to do 0:05:10.960 --> 0:05:15.000 these little skits. Then Instagram turned into sixty second videos 0:05:15.040 --> 0:05:17.000 and I was like, wow, I got sixty second instead 0:05:17.000 --> 0:05:21.520 of fact, let's go. It started to blow up, and 0:05:21.520 --> 0:05:23.920 as it started to blow up, the comment section started 0:05:23.960 --> 0:05:27.440 to be, you know, men and women starting to debate, 0:05:27.520 --> 0:05:30.640 like I understand d vous perspective, I understand these perspective. 0:05:31.000 --> 0:05:33.479 And then that transitioned into the podcast, and then the 0:05:33.520 --> 0:05:37.240 podcast transitioned into the YouTube series of Elysis, where we 0:05:37.279 --> 0:05:40.120 did fifteen minute videos which was a sitcom of our family. 0:05:40.520 --> 0:05:42.479 And then the next natural step was a book where 0:05:42.480 --> 0:05:45.440 we can actually write down all our thoughts and tell 0:05:45.480 --> 0:05:48.200 our story, which we call the Brooklyn Love Story and 0:05:48.279 --> 0:05:52.280 its totality without being shortened by you know, Twitter limits 0:05:52.440 --> 0:05:55.600 or small Instagram limits. So it just transitioned into a 0:05:55.600 --> 0:05:57.480 book and we wanted to tell our story in our narrative, 0:05:57.520 --> 0:05:57.839 our way. 0:05:58.480 --> 0:06:00.560 Did you see this? So the one I there was 0:06:00.600 --> 0:06:02.680 one that was like you guys went viral for it 0:06:02.720 --> 0:06:05.280 was like this really cute picture, like. 0:06:05.320 --> 0:06:09.400 Or maybe a series of pictures I remember he had, 0:06:10.160 --> 0:06:11.640 so that picture went viral. 0:06:12.000 --> 0:06:14.400 But then the I didn't realize now the vall that 0:06:14.440 --> 0:06:14.920 it was you. 0:06:15.240 --> 0:06:18.400 But it was this hilarious skit many I don't know 0:06:18.440 --> 0:06:20.760 if you ever saw it that, Like Kadeen was like 0:06:20.880 --> 0:06:22.520 not there and the vall had to like take the 0:06:22.600 --> 0:06:26.520 kids like grocery shopping or something, and he was like, 0:06:27.360 --> 0:06:29.400 how how your mother gets you out of the house? 0:06:30.360 --> 0:06:32.200 Your pants? Your paint again? 0:06:32.480 --> 0:06:36.480 It was huh freaking I mean the way I watched 0:06:36.520 --> 0:06:39.400 that like a hundred times to watch like this dad 0:06:39.520 --> 0:06:42.159 struggle with like taking the kids outside the house taked 0:06:42.240 --> 0:06:44.120 like he would always be like, kade what takes you 0:06:44.120 --> 0:06:45.599 so long to get the kids ready? And when he 0:06:45.640 --> 0:06:48.080 had to do it himself, he could not believe that 0:06:48.160 --> 0:06:49.400 somehow she managed to do all of. 0:06:49.400 --> 0:06:51.320 This, and he was like, I'm tired. I'm not to 0:06:51.320 --> 0:06:51.600 go back. 0:06:51.600 --> 0:06:53.080 And they hadn't even gone food shopping to where were 0:06:53.080 --> 0:06:55.600 you supposed to be going? But that was the skit 0:06:55.680 --> 0:06:57.840 that like put me on to be like wow, like, 0:06:57.920 --> 0:07:00.320 you know, I love that that it was real and 0:07:00.400 --> 0:07:02.880 you know that this is what it looks like there. Sometimes, 0:07:02.880 --> 0:07:05.680 you know, moms make these miracles happen. They make them 0:07:05.800 --> 0:07:09.200 seem so effortless that like Dad's like, it can't be 0:07:09.240 --> 0:07:10.560 that hard until it's not for you to. 0:07:10.560 --> 0:07:15.920 Do that, right, Yeah, he definitely understood after that. 0:07:17.600 --> 0:07:18.080 I get it. 0:07:18.560 --> 0:07:20.280 How many kids do y'all have today? 0:07:20.520 --> 0:07:24.240 So we have four total now, our youngest year and 0:07:24.360 --> 0:07:27.720 about fifteen months now, and Jackson, the oldest, is eleven 0:07:27.880 --> 0:07:29.640 to twelve. And then we have six. 0:07:29.640 --> 0:07:35.160 Wow, yeah, yeah, I think of it. I have one 0:07:35.160 --> 0:07:35.640 and a half. 0:07:35.800 --> 0:07:37.600 Yes, I have a three year old and I have 0:07:37.680 --> 0:07:39.600 a I have another one on the way in a 0:07:39.600 --> 0:07:45.160 couple of months. Thank you, thank you so much. Yeah, 0:07:45.280 --> 0:07:49.080 And honestly, I'm like, oh, sorry, what'd you say? 0:07:49.240 --> 0:07:51.480 I said we won't be adding anyone to anything over here. 0:07:54.240 --> 0:07:56.920 I mean, I'm one of four, so I'm like, you know, 0:07:57.080 --> 0:07:59.480 part of me is like, I mean, I was number three, 0:07:59.520 --> 0:08:00.520 so I'm not sure trying to go all. 0:08:00.480 --> 0:08:00.920 The way to four. 0:08:00.960 --> 0:08:04.680 I'm like, maybe the third got but no. On my 0:08:04.840 --> 0:08:08.080 my husband and I are relationship. It's and plus the 0:08:08.160 --> 0:08:10.640 pandemic and you guys have you know, lived through that 0:08:10.680 --> 0:08:13.080 as a couple as well. I mean, how do y'all 0:08:13.120 --> 0:08:16.680 see the dynamic of your marriage sort of changing from 0:08:16.720 --> 0:08:21.120 one to two to three to four kids? 0:08:21.240 --> 0:08:21.480 Now? 0:08:21.960 --> 0:08:26.080 I feel like after after after three, I was after two, 0:08:26.240 --> 0:08:26.760 after two. 0:08:27.800 --> 0:08:28.240 Whatever. 0:08:28.680 --> 0:08:30.720 Yeah, it's just like add another one and another one 0:08:30.760 --> 0:08:34.200 and another one. They'll figure it out. We'll see kind 0:08:34.240 --> 0:08:37.400 of like yeah, in the same direction after a while, 0:08:37.640 --> 0:08:38.800 and then you hope for the best. 0:08:38.880 --> 0:08:39.080 You know. 0:08:39.400 --> 0:08:41.280 The nice thing we have, the age difference that we 0:08:41.320 --> 0:08:44.960 have is that Jackson, who's now almost twelve, he's literally 0:08:45.160 --> 0:08:46.439 conducting himself. 0:08:46.080 --> 0:08:46.760 Like a grown man. 0:08:47.120 --> 0:08:49.760 It's insane to see how responsible and how mature he is. 0:08:49.880 --> 0:08:52.319 And we're both the oldest of three, and we can 0:08:52.360 --> 0:08:54.680 see a lot of those similar qualities in him where 0:08:54.679 --> 0:08:57.760 we're like, oh, he's definitely a leader, he's a nurturer. 0:08:57.880 --> 0:09:00.200 So it's nice sometimes to kind of be like, hey, 0:09:00.440 --> 0:09:02.160 look out for your brother. So since we travel a 0:09:02.160 --> 0:09:03.960 lot for work, you know a lot of times we 0:09:04.000 --> 0:09:05.840 have parent guilt leaving because we're like, oh my god, 0:09:05.840 --> 0:09:09.839 we feakin and you know, Jackson literally like holds it down. 0:09:10.360 --> 0:09:12.480 It's so funny. We was having a conversation with Val 0:09:12.520 --> 0:09:14.240 and I I'm like, you know, text the driver and 0:09:14.280 --> 0:09:16.000 let him know that we don't need him anymore against 0:09:16.000 --> 0:09:18.880 to come later to pick up someone else. And Jackson's like, 0:09:18.960 --> 0:09:21.840 literally over here like texting between us the driver, I 0:09:21.880 --> 0:09:25.240 got you to worry about it. 0:09:23.679 --> 0:09:27.920 We can text because it didn't have an Apple phone. 0:09:28.440 --> 0:09:31.400 So we were like, then we need somebody to get contact, 0:09:31.520 --> 0:09:34.520 and we hit our eleven year old send him the number, 0:09:34.559 --> 0:09:36.640 and then he sends us the screenshot that he sent 0:09:36.720 --> 0:09:39.520 the driver. He yo, black, my dad said, don't worry 0:09:39.559 --> 0:09:41.080 about coming. But it's funny. 0:09:41.320 --> 0:09:44.040 He's so on it and the picture he's got like 0:09:44.040 --> 0:09:49.120 a like an airpiece on Lord grown up by now 0:09:50.080 --> 0:09:53.040 while he's changing a diaper background. 0:09:53.320 --> 0:09:55.760 Like making grilled cheese at the same time. It's so funny, 0:09:55.960 --> 0:09:57.480 but it's really dope to watch. 0:09:58.120 --> 0:10:00.680 And when you had that idea to start insta videos, 0:10:00.679 --> 0:10:04.360 like financially, I mean, what was the conversation like, you know, 0:10:04.480 --> 0:10:07.960 I'm going to stop taking on these roles, which I 0:10:08.000 --> 0:10:11.000 know we're not the best, and obviously we're super you 0:10:11.000 --> 0:10:14.720 know you're a pigeonholed, which is awful, But as a couple, 0:10:14.760 --> 0:10:15.920 how did y'all handle that? 0:10:16.000 --> 0:10:16.480 Financially? 0:10:16.559 --> 0:10:20.080 We have so many listeners who are constantly asking us 0:10:20.160 --> 0:10:20.880 right to like. 0:10:21.360 --> 0:10:23.760 How do y'all manage your finances? And like how do 0:10:23.800 --> 0:10:25.280 you you know, get on the same page. 0:10:25.400 --> 0:10:27.720 And it's one thing to manage it when you're both 0:10:27.760 --> 0:10:30.280 got like nine to five jobs. It's another thing when 0:10:30.280 --> 0:10:32.280 one of y'all is like, I'm going to leap off 0:10:32.280 --> 0:10:32.720 this cliff. 0:10:32.760 --> 0:10:33.559 You don't, let's go. 0:10:33.880 --> 0:10:36.160 Oh for sure. One thing did all knew that we 0:10:36.200 --> 0:10:40.559 could not be was no starving artist's family. That's the 0:10:40.600 --> 0:10:42.640 fact that she wanted to be an actor. That's amazing. 0:10:43.280 --> 0:10:45.440 I'm go go about it, But how are you going 0:10:45.520 --> 0:10:49.600 to make this happen financially? Because at that point, what 0:10:49.760 --> 0:10:52.760 year was it, we moved the NFL, you retired, and 0:10:52.760 --> 0:10:55.400 then we moved back to New York and Brooklyn, and 0:10:55.720 --> 0:10:58.000 that's when we kind of had to start over again. 0:10:58.200 --> 0:11:01.360 So our story is a little interesting because it went 0:11:01.360 --> 0:11:03.520 from being broken college, to the about getting money in 0:11:03.520 --> 0:11:06.120 the NFL, to us losing everything in the recession back 0:11:06.120 --> 0:11:08.679 in two thousand and eight and then having to rebuild again. 0:11:08.920 --> 0:11:12.080 And the biggest thing is I've always had plans, and 0:11:12.120 --> 0:11:14.680 I've always included Kadeen in my plans. On our very 0:11:14.760 --> 0:11:18.080 first date, Kadeen said to me, what do you want 0:11:18.120 --> 0:11:19.760 to do with your life? We were eighteen years old, 0:11:19.840 --> 0:11:22.760 sitting in my dorm room, my very first date, and 0:11:22.800 --> 0:11:24.719 Martin was on television and I said I want to 0:11:24.760 --> 0:11:27.520 do that and she was like, what's that? And I said, 0:11:27.559 --> 0:11:30.440 I'm going to act. And this is the moment, realistically, 0:11:30.440 --> 0:11:33.000 when I knew I had a partner or somewhe different. 0:11:33.440 --> 0:11:35.840 She didn't laugh, she didn't get how are you gonna 0:11:35.880 --> 0:11:38.600 da da da? She said, okay, how are we going 0:11:38.679 --> 0:11:41.199 to get there? And it was the how are we 0:11:41.600 --> 0:11:43.720 going to get there? To me that was kind of intriguing, 0:11:43.880 --> 0:11:46.480 like wow, First of all, she didn't laugh. Second of all, 0:11:46.960 --> 0:11:50.280 she included herself in my dream, which made me in 0:11:50.320 --> 0:11:53.040 that moment, feel like she believes in my dream as well, 0:11:53.160 --> 0:11:54.920 which made me feel good. So then I told her, 0:11:54.960 --> 0:11:57.679 I said, well, if I make it to the NFL, 0:11:57.720 --> 0:11:59.439 and I make a practice squad. I can make this 0:11:59.520 --> 0:12:01.440 is at eighteen. Now, I said, I can make one 0:12:01.480 --> 0:12:03.440 hundred thousand dollars in four months. We can put a 0:12:03.480 --> 0:12:05.719 down payment in the Brownstone in Brooklyn, we can run 0:12:05.720 --> 0:12:07.560 out the upstairs two floors, we can live in the 0:12:07.559 --> 0:12:09.920 basement part and we could We don't have to be 0:12:10.000 --> 0:12:12.839 starving artists because the rent will cover the mortgage. 0:12:13.000 --> 0:12:15.960 And she was like, wow, eighteen at eighteen, and I 0:12:16.000 --> 0:12:18.160 was like, what, you had a good one. 0:12:20.160 --> 0:12:21.960 I was not talking about down payments at eighteen. 0:12:23.520 --> 0:12:26.040 The funny thing is that's the way my brain always worked. 0:12:26.200 --> 0:12:28.679 So as I got to the NFL, of course I 0:12:28.760 --> 0:12:31.520 bought property, I did all the right things. The recession hits, 0:12:31.640 --> 0:12:35.080 and I get cut in the same three months. Like 0:12:35.160 --> 0:12:37.440 the recession hit that summer of two thousand and eight, 0:12:37.520 --> 0:12:40.440 I get cut in September two thousand and eight. So 0:12:40.480 --> 0:12:42.120 then for the next four months we were trying to 0:12:42.120 --> 0:12:43.960 figure out which this income going to come in, because 0:12:44.000 --> 0:12:46.640 I had bought multiple properties and now I have no 0:12:46.720 --> 0:12:47.480 income coming in. 0:12:47.880 --> 0:12:49.800 Her full part about that, too, is just like we 0:12:49.840 --> 0:12:52.320 did all of the right things, Like he's so dealing, 0:12:52.920 --> 0:12:56.240 like his business acumen and his financial acumen was so 0:12:56.400 --> 0:12:59.360 far beyond anything I had experienced, so I knew he 0:12:59.400 --> 0:13:00.920 was doing the right things. I was like, he's not 0:13:00.960 --> 0:13:03.520 throwing bands in the strip club. I mean, you know, 0:13:03.559 --> 0:13:04.880 he thought we were doing all the right things, but 0:13:04.920 --> 0:13:07.760 his money. And then here we are back one. 0:13:08.120 --> 0:13:11.040 So when I decided to retire, I had told kay 0:13:11.080 --> 0:13:13.920 I said, listen, give me some time. I will get 0:13:13.960 --> 0:13:16.000 us back to where we were when I was playing ball. 0:13:16.440 --> 0:13:18.120 And this is where the partnership comes in. And we 0:13:18.160 --> 0:13:20.400 worried about this in the book. I said to Kadeen, 0:13:21.120 --> 0:13:24.200 I'm cut. We don't have insurance. All I need is 0:13:24.200 --> 0:13:26.600 for someone to have insurance. You're pregnant, so to make 0:13:26.640 --> 0:13:28.760 sure that we can cover the baby. Stuff like that. 0:13:29.040 --> 0:13:31.040 Kadeen took off her engagement ring and put it in 0:13:31.040 --> 0:13:33.320 her jewelry box, got on that B forty four bus 0:13:33.600 --> 0:13:35.440 and went to the mall and said, I need a job, 0:13:36.120 --> 0:13:38.640 and she her biggest focus was getting a full time 0:13:38.720 --> 0:13:41.160 job so that we can get insurance. So my answer 0:13:41.200 --> 0:13:43.720 to that question was, anytime there was a financial issue, 0:13:43.800 --> 0:13:46.160 I never hit it. We talked about how we were 0:13:46.160 --> 0:13:49.240 going to get ourselves out of that financial situation together. 0:13:49.720 --> 0:13:52.640 She was never too you too stuck up to pull 0:13:52.720 --> 0:13:54.920 up our bootstraps and say I'm gonna go work. I 0:13:55.000 --> 0:13:57.240 worked as a substitute teacher. I worked as a color 0:13:57.280 --> 0:14:00.440 commentary on mc varsity. I did personal training. There was 0:14:00.520 --> 0:14:03.079 no job that was beneath me in order to provide 0:14:03.120 --> 0:14:05.440 for my family, and my wife felt the same way. 0:14:05.800 --> 0:14:08.080 So during those times, you just worked harder. We did 0:14:08.160 --> 0:14:10.800 multiple jobs, multiple tasks, until we got to the point 0:14:10.840 --> 0:14:13.360 where we could say, you know what, i want autonomy 0:14:13.360 --> 0:14:15.920 over my time. Now, I'm going to quit this aspect 0:14:16.000 --> 0:14:18.800 and just focus on this. And Instagram was able to 0:14:18.840 --> 0:14:21.120 provide that for us when the brand partnership deals started 0:14:21.120 --> 0:14:21.520 to come up. 0:14:22.560 --> 0:14:24.920 So what are the conversations like now about money? 0:14:24.960 --> 0:14:27.840 Now that like you're off the struggle bus, you know, 0:14:28.320 --> 0:14:30.440 and you're like, so I'm curious, like where are you? 0:14:30.520 --> 0:14:32.160 So it's like, you know, in the beginning, like so 0:14:32.160 --> 0:14:35.120 many new entrepreneurs, there's this struggle, and then there's a 0:14:35.120 --> 0:14:37.360 space where it's like I'm kind of okay, and then 0:14:37.400 --> 0:14:39.840 there's a space where it's like no, I'm solidly okay, 0:14:40.400 --> 0:14:42.480 and then hopefully there's a space where it's like I'm 0:14:42.520 --> 0:14:45.200 beyond okay. I'm actually doing really well, so where are 0:14:45.240 --> 0:14:48.640 you in that space? And then how have the conversation shifted? 0:14:49.280 --> 0:14:53.400 Well, right now we're beyond okay, we're doing extremely row. 0:14:53.680 --> 0:14:56.040 I like to say, we live in abundance. And the 0:14:56.080 --> 0:14:58.960 first thing we do is we have a fiduciary responsibility 0:14:59.000 --> 0:15:01.000 to pay forward. You know. I feel like no one 0:15:01.040 --> 0:15:03.240 should live in a bonus without being a gift to 0:15:03.280 --> 0:15:04.760 other people, because this is a gift to well. So 0:15:04.880 --> 0:15:07.320 that's the first thing. The second thing is all about 0:15:07.440 --> 0:15:11.360 about wealth building. Now, how can we prepare our children 0:15:11.480 --> 0:15:13.960 to be in this space regardless of what happens to 0:15:14.000 --> 0:15:16.040 them in life. It doesn't matter if I mean, of 0:15:16.080 --> 0:15:17.720 course we want through the graduate in high school and 0:15:17.760 --> 0:15:19.760 go to college or learn the trade or do something. 0:15:19.800 --> 0:15:22.200 But I want to be able to have my children 0:15:22.280 --> 0:15:26.560 live freely on this planet. And that's what the goal is. Now. 0:15:26.920 --> 0:15:29.080 What things can be put in place to make sure 0:15:29.240 --> 0:15:30.360 our children are okay? 0:15:30.560 --> 0:15:35.040 And it's funny, Tiffany and Mandy because the Deval for 0:15:35.080 --> 0:15:38.000 a long time had to school me on the financial 0:15:38.040 --> 0:15:41.280 world and how things work. I was not good with money, 0:15:41.560 --> 0:15:43.640 and not to say that I was a frivolous spender, 0:15:43.720 --> 0:15:46.520 but for example, Deval gave me or put me on 0:15:46.680 --> 0:15:49.280 his credit card a little bit after what was it 0:15:49.320 --> 0:15:49.760 the NFL? 0:15:49.840 --> 0:15:52.280 This was thousand, So it's two thousand and six six. 0:15:52.520 --> 0:15:54.240 I was a rookie the NFL, and I was trying 0:15:54.240 --> 0:15:54.800 to help with build a. 0:15:55.120 --> 0:15:56.960 Credit, right because at this point my parents hadn't really 0:15:56.960 --> 0:15:59.280 explained anything to me about credit or anything. So he 0:15:59.360 --> 0:16:02.359 added me on in his credit card. So I'm thinking, oh, 0:16:02.600 --> 0:16:06.880 I got like money percent and I can just pay 0:16:06.920 --> 0:16:10.280 it back at my leisure. And I didn't realize at 0:16:10.280 --> 0:16:12.080 the time, I you know, put the card. I think 0:16:12.080 --> 0:16:15.800 it was like fifteen thousands, just like the with the 0:16:15.880 --> 0:16:18.440 MAX and I was just making like small payments like 0:16:18.440 --> 0:16:21.760 oh twenty five thousan a month, you know, not knowing 0:16:21.760 --> 0:16:26.600 anything about adults. Right, So there's that things that we 0:16:26.600 --> 0:16:29.480 were in being broken and going back to Brooklyn having 0:16:29.480 --> 0:16:32.680 to rebuild. Even in the space that we're in now, 0:16:33.160 --> 0:16:36.560 I still sometimes move with caution, like I don't want 0:16:36.560 --> 0:16:38.480 to buy this, or oh what's the budget for that? 0:16:38.680 --> 0:16:43.880 And that was like my my, my look at person 0:16:43.880 --> 0:16:46.400 that just used to be like I don't know if 0:16:46.400 --> 0:16:48.080 you guys have seen this like a video going around 0:16:48.200 --> 0:16:50.120 a viral where someone has their Apple Panent. 0:16:50.160 --> 0:16:50.600 They're like. 0:16:52.760 --> 0:16:55.640 Charging everything everywhere, and I just can't get used to 0:16:55.680 --> 0:16:57.760 that now because I'm still living in this sense of 0:16:57.800 --> 0:17:01.080 fear sometimes like what if it all get snatched away? 0:17:01.360 --> 0:17:01.560 You know? 0:17:02.120 --> 0:17:05.320 But Devell has helped kind of ease that anxiety meet 0:17:05.359 --> 0:17:07.160 and then you know, like, Okay, now we have certain 0:17:07.200 --> 0:17:09.680 things allotted, like the children will be okay, we will 0:17:09.720 --> 0:17:12.280 be okay, like these people and things that we have 0:17:12.359 --> 0:17:14.520 in place will make it so that we're okay, Like 0:17:14.600 --> 0:17:16.399 you don't have to live like that. But also too, 0:17:16.440 --> 0:17:18.960 us feel like it's a more stressful environment like that 0:17:19.040 --> 0:17:23.320 whole more money, more problem situation because now we are 0:17:23.359 --> 0:17:27.199 technically employing a large group of people to work for us, 0:17:27.240 --> 0:17:30.520 to help us create the content that we have. So 0:17:30.600 --> 0:17:35.399 now I'm thinking about how many people's livelihoods we're responsible for, 0:17:35.440 --> 0:17:37.720 and that's a different kind of pressure. When you think 0:17:37.720 --> 0:17:39.560 about it, it's like it's not just about us. It's 0:17:39.600 --> 0:17:41.840 trying to help make sure that our people around us 0:17:42.200 --> 0:17:45.199 are also staying afloat. So that's an added layer of stress. 0:17:45.280 --> 0:17:49.399 Like back in November, Devell had this breakdown unlike anything 0:17:49.440 --> 0:17:52.480 I've seen before. I know he doesn't mind sharing it 0:17:52.480 --> 0:17:56.000 because he's spoken about it, but he was filming his 0:17:56.440 --> 0:17:59.840 I think it was six season Insisters or STEMA, and 0:18:00.240 --> 0:18:03.440 I'm pretty much passed out on set. And when I 0:18:03.520 --> 0:18:05.159 spoke to him and I'm like, hey, you know, I'm 0:18:05.200 --> 0:18:06.760 a Jamaica at a wedding and I'm like, you know 0:18:07.119 --> 0:18:09.600 what's going on? And He's just like, Oh, I'm you know, dehydrated. 0:18:09.640 --> 0:18:13.119 I'm really stressed out and whatnot. And I said to 0:18:13.240 --> 0:18:15.520 him toout, like, if you don't feel well this weekend, 0:18:15.560 --> 0:18:17.399 maybe you can't make it to work on Monday, Like 0:18:17.440 --> 0:18:19.520