1 00:00:10,320 --> 00:00:14,000 Speaker 1: From grandmothers who whispered in their baby girl in two 2 00:00:14,040 --> 00:00:17,400 Speaker 1: fathers on dimly lit street corners, instructing young soldiers to 3 00:00:17,440 --> 00:00:22,040 Speaker 1: always keep their eyes open. You be queen, you were fired. 4 00:00:22,760 --> 00:00:25,400 Speaker 1: You will pass through centuries on the hands of your daughters. 5 00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:30,120 Speaker 1: They called you wisdom. Proverbs on the backs of diamond 6 00:00:30,120 --> 00:00:33,920 Speaker 1: eyed school children who groom into hymnals recited by amethyst 7 00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:37,960 Speaker 1: holding urban philosophers who recited neighborhood commandments out of the 8 00:00:38,040 --> 00:00:41,640 Speaker 1: windows of restored Alchemedo cheriots. To keep the warmth of 9 00:00:41,680 --> 00:00:48,080 Speaker 1: their blood, be wise, be smart, being black, Opal Brown courts, 10 00:00:48,320 --> 00:00:55,120 Speaker 1: bloodstone and prayer, be every form of Jim se King told, scribe, scribe, 11 00:00:55,200 --> 00:00:59,120 Speaker 1: told son, son, told wife, wife told her daughter, and 12 00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:02,520 Speaker 1: daughter told the asses. And the ancess has told me 13 00:01:02,880 --> 00:01:07,280 Speaker 1: that you would come to give wisdom. Thousands they said 14 00:01:07,360 --> 00:01:13,640 Speaker 1: you would come, Dropping Dropping Jim. Welcome back. We're on 15 00:01:13,720 --> 00:01:16,959 Speaker 1: episode twenty of the Dropping Gemps podcast. I'm your host 16 00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:20,319 Speaker 1: Stebbie Brown. Guys, today, I really want to deepen our 17 00:01:20,400 --> 00:01:26,040 Speaker 1: journey with the concept of Joey. Joy has become a 18 00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:31,160 Speaker 1: significant part of my life, especially in this very unique time. 19 00:01:31,840 --> 00:01:34,760 Speaker 1: So I would say the last seven months especially I 20 00:01:34,880 --> 00:01:40,800 Speaker 1: have completely revolutionized my spiritual practice, and it is sitting 21 00:01:40,920 --> 00:01:47,760 Speaker 1: inside of in golfing just radiating with joy, and it 22 00:01:47,840 --> 00:01:53,880 Speaker 1: has been such a major, major catalyst for transformation I 23 00:01:53,960 --> 00:01:56,680 Speaker 1: hadn't experienced yet. So I really want to speak to 24 00:01:56,720 --> 00:01:58,400 Speaker 1: that today with you guys. We're going to have a 25 00:01:58,480 --> 00:02:01,440 Speaker 1: special guest joining us a little bit later in the show, 26 00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:04,640 Speaker 1: who I Love and who I just think is just 27 00:02:04,960 --> 00:02:08,280 Speaker 1: absolutely brilliant and incredible, and I'll get to her and 28 00:02:08,480 --> 00:02:11,360 Speaker 1: ingest a bit and give you that full understanding of 29 00:02:11,360 --> 00:02:13,680 Speaker 1: all the power that she stands in. But when we 30 00:02:13,720 --> 00:02:16,200 Speaker 1: think about joy, you know, I think it's really important 31 00:02:16,200 --> 00:02:18,000 Speaker 1: for us, and we're going to explore this through the 32 00:02:18,040 --> 00:02:21,760 Speaker 1: show many many episodes and do a lot of beautiful 33 00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:24,840 Speaker 1: and packing, but I think it's really important for us, 34 00:02:24,960 --> 00:02:27,280 Speaker 1: as we are on our different journeys, or as we're 35 00:02:27,320 --> 00:02:32,680 Speaker 1: experiencing ourselves in new ways, to always question what effect 36 00:02:32,919 --> 00:02:40,760 Speaker 1: has colonialization or patriarchy, or systemic racism or capitalism had 37 00:02:40,880 --> 00:02:44,440 Speaker 1: on the way I experience healing or the way I 38 00:02:44,480 --> 00:02:50,399 Speaker 1: allow myself to experience myself. I think for women, and 39 00:02:50,680 --> 00:02:54,920 Speaker 1: especially women of color, we have always been pushed into 40 00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:59,680 Speaker 1: this false belief that love has to be earned that 41 00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:03,920 Speaker 1: lie is painful, that it just is, and that we 42 00:03:03,960 --> 00:03:06,799 Speaker 1: are not allowed to feel a process in real time, 43 00:03:06,919 --> 00:03:10,600 Speaker 1: that all we can do is go into this path 44 00:03:10,760 --> 00:03:14,839 Speaker 1: of forced resilience where we are just focused on how 45 00:03:14,880 --> 00:03:21,520 Speaker 1: strong we are and staying strong and not gifting ourselves 46 00:03:21,560 --> 00:03:26,760 Speaker 1: opportunities for tenderness and softness. And I, for one, and 47 00:03:26,800 --> 00:03:29,960 Speaker 1: I've talked about this in previous episodes, but I had 48 00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:32,880 Speaker 1: a really significant breakthrough on my journey a couple of 49 00:03:32,919 --> 00:03:35,880 Speaker 1: years ago. And that's the that's the really beautiful and 50 00:03:35,920 --> 00:03:38,680 Speaker 1: divine thing about this journey, Right you think you've healed 51 00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:42,200 Speaker 1: something and then you notice that you're triggered again, And 52 00:03:42,320 --> 00:03:44,440 Speaker 1: what it really is, it doesn't mean that you haven't 53 00:03:44,480 --> 00:03:46,720 Speaker 1: healed or you didn't do all that work. It really 54 00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:50,840 Speaker 1: just means now there's opportunity to deepen that healing and 55 00:03:50,920 --> 00:03:54,400 Speaker 1: to deepen that understanding. So a couple of years ago, 56 00:03:54,480 --> 00:03:57,520 Speaker 1: something that came forward for me that was really revolutionary 57 00:03:57,560 --> 00:03:59,800 Speaker 1: in the way that I saw myself and created quite 58 00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:03,880 Speaker 1: a shift in the new system of ways I would 59 00:04:03,880 --> 00:04:08,280 Speaker 1: work with my spirituality were it was really focused on 60 00:04:08,640 --> 00:04:13,640 Speaker 1: having this this really this veil lifted on myself of 61 00:04:13,680 --> 00:04:17,919 Speaker 1: the way that I experienced me, and for me, that 62 00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:26,280 Speaker 1: came an understanding that my identity, my value system was 63 00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:30,360 Speaker 1: so wrapped up in how much pain I could tolerate 64 00:04:30,600 --> 00:04:34,320 Speaker 1: and how strong I was perceived as, and how many 65 00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:38,280 Speaker 1: things I was fixing for other people and fixing for myself. 66 00:04:38,400 --> 00:04:41,560 Speaker 1: And what I really came to understand is that although 67 00:04:41,600 --> 00:04:45,080 Speaker 1: those facets of my personality were something I really was 68 00:04:45,120 --> 00:04:47,560 Speaker 1: proud of and really treasured, you know, none of us 69 00:04:47,680 --> 00:04:50,680 Speaker 1: we all have challenges, right, and my strength and my 70 00:04:50,760 --> 00:04:55,520 Speaker 1: ability to aid others, my ability to be this fixer 71 00:04:55,839 --> 00:04:59,320 Speaker 1: be a little more enlightened sometimes than some of the 72 00:04:59,360 --> 00:05:02,039 Speaker 1: areas I was in. You know, that was something I 73 00:05:02,080 --> 00:05:05,800 Speaker 1: was really proud of. It's something that helped me survive. 74 00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:08,680 Speaker 1: But I also saw that in that same vein, it 75 00:05:08,760 --> 00:05:11,680 Speaker 1: was so limiting and it kept me from really being 76 00:05:11,680 --> 00:05:15,120 Speaker 1: able to expand and stretch open my heart. And so 77 00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:17,960 Speaker 1: I didn't want to live a life where my value 78 00:05:18,040 --> 00:05:20,960 Speaker 1: was measured by how much pain I could tolerate, or 79 00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:24,640 Speaker 1: my value was measured by how resilient I was. To 80 00:05:24,760 --> 00:05:28,599 Speaker 1: have so strong, she's so strong, and you're the strong friend, 81 00:05:28,680 --> 00:05:30,880 Speaker 1: and you know, all those things that a lot of 82 00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:34,400 Speaker 1: us experience or receive funny memes made about on Instagram. 83 00:05:34,520 --> 00:05:36,800 Speaker 1: You know, I didn't want that to be my life anymore. 84 00:05:36,800 --> 00:05:41,159 Speaker 1: I've always been a really enthusiastic and exuberant person, but 85 00:05:41,240 --> 00:05:43,720 Speaker 1: I realized that there was a deficit of joy in 86 00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:47,520 Speaker 1: my life. I didn't really understand what joy even was. 87 00:05:47,720 --> 00:05:50,440 Speaker 1: Is that the same thing as happiness? Is it? I'm 88 00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:52,920 Speaker 1: just walking around celebrating all day, you know, I didn't 89 00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:56,320 Speaker 1: quite understand how to implement it in my life and 90 00:05:56,839 --> 00:05:59,520 Speaker 1: learned to embodiment. So for the last two years I 91 00:05:59,520 --> 00:06:02,480 Speaker 1: have been a journey of joy and coming into this 92 00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:06,880 Speaker 1: very unique moment in time. You know, we keep referencing this, 93 00:06:07,080 --> 00:06:11,600 Speaker 1: you know, unprecedented times, global pandemic, election, all of the 94 00:06:11,640 --> 00:06:14,279 Speaker 1: ways in which we're meeting ourselves more deeply because of 95 00:06:14,320 --> 00:06:17,680 Speaker 1: the isolation and the uncertainty. You know, the last seven 96 00:06:17,680 --> 00:06:23,400 Speaker 1: months really gave me this gorgeous gift, gorgeous gift of 97 00:06:23,480 --> 00:06:27,680 Speaker 1: some pretty agonizing pain, but also learning how to transmute 98 00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:31,640 Speaker 1: that pain with joyousness. So if you follow me on 99 00:06:31,680 --> 00:06:35,120 Speaker 1: Instagram or you are part of my Karma gain community 100 00:06:35,200 --> 00:06:37,920 Speaker 1: on karma blist dot com, then you know I am 101 00:06:37,960 --> 00:06:47,600 Speaker 1: always talking about finding the tiny joys, finding the moments, big, small, grand, private, 102 00:06:48,520 --> 00:06:55,640 Speaker 1: to really savor the present moment, to really connect to 103 00:06:55,720 --> 00:07:00,200 Speaker 1: the gratitude of each moment and truly find worth and 104 00:07:00,400 --> 00:07:05,000 Speaker 1: depth and literally everything and anything. So for me, that 105 00:07:05,160 --> 00:07:08,240 Speaker 1: is how I've begun to cultivate and experience more joy 106 00:07:08,279 --> 00:07:10,280 Speaker 1: in my life. And before we get into our guests, 107 00:07:10,280 --> 00:07:12,000 Speaker 1: we're gonna have so much to talk about, and we're 108 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:16,880 Speaker 1: going to really be on this show so often exploring joy, 109 00:07:16,920 --> 00:07:20,320 Speaker 1: whether that is you know, joy through celebration or joy 110 00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:25,720 Speaker 1: through pleasure, or new ways to make our journeys feel 111 00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:28,160 Speaker 1: better from the inside out. We're going to get into 112 00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:31,920 Speaker 1: so much of that over the next many, many episodes, um, 113 00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:34,840 Speaker 1: but today I really want to focus in on how 114 00:07:34,840 --> 00:07:38,480 Speaker 1: do we perceive joy? So the working definition for joy, 115 00:07:38,640 --> 00:07:43,360 Speaker 1: it's joy is a feeling of great pleasure and happiness. 116 00:07:44,240 --> 00:07:47,040 Speaker 1: The way that I experience it is more so as 117 00:07:48,840 --> 00:07:55,680 Speaker 1: this interesting combination of peace and celebration at once. And 118 00:07:55,720 --> 00:07:58,040 Speaker 1: sometimes it feels a little conflicting, right because we're kind 119 00:07:58,040 --> 00:08:01,200 Speaker 1: of taught that peace means like being very like, you know, 120 00:08:01,240 --> 00:08:04,360 Speaker 1: I'm still and I'm silent, and I'm kind of unmovable 121 00:08:04,680 --> 00:08:08,600 Speaker 1: to the storms of life. But I experienced peace really 122 00:08:08,760 --> 00:08:15,920 Speaker 1: is just gorgeous deep knowingness and surrender. And so when 123 00:08:15,920 --> 00:08:20,000 Speaker 1: I experienced joy for me, it feels like deep, deep 124 00:08:20,240 --> 00:08:26,680 Speaker 1: peace and also exuberant celebration, like really just oh my gosh, 125 00:08:26,760 --> 00:08:29,560 Speaker 1: I am so warm and on fire from my own 126 00:08:29,640 --> 00:08:33,680 Speaker 1: life inside of my body. So, you know, I think 127 00:08:33,720 --> 00:08:38,040 Speaker 1: also to um a lot of times when we're thinking 128 00:08:38,040 --> 00:08:42,640 Speaker 1: of joy, it's so often equated with what we assume 129 00:08:42,760 --> 00:08:46,160 Speaker 1: happiness is, and so sometimes it's hard to grasp what 130 00:08:46,320 --> 00:08:49,199 Speaker 1: joy can be in our life because if you're having 131 00:08:49,200 --> 00:08:52,640 Speaker 1: a bad day or perceived bad day, you're saying, well, 132 00:08:52,640 --> 00:08:54,600 Speaker 1: I'm not happy, So how do I have joy? I'm 133 00:08:54,640 --> 00:08:57,400 Speaker 1: not happy about this, I'm not happy about that. And 134 00:08:57,440 --> 00:08:59,520 Speaker 1: I think it's important to know that, you know, when 135 00:08:59,559 --> 00:09:03,080 Speaker 1: we think of joy, when we think of happiness, happiness 136 00:09:03,640 --> 00:09:06,960 Speaker 1: for me often needs a catalyst of some sort. When 137 00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:11,520 Speaker 1: we think of that emotion, I am happy happiness, you know, 138 00:09:11,600 --> 00:09:15,720 Speaker 1: it's it's really something that that quite often requires a catalyst. 139 00:09:17,080 --> 00:09:24,120 Speaker 1: Versus joy is experienced as more of a deep aboding 140 00:09:25,160 --> 00:09:29,720 Speaker 1: and embodiment. So from the depths of you radiating out 141 00:09:29,800 --> 00:09:34,080 Speaker 1: into the world. I experienced joy also as just the 142 00:09:34,360 --> 00:09:39,439 Speaker 1: state of euphoria in the midst of being in full 143 00:09:39,520 --> 00:09:43,760 Speaker 1: surrender and in full trust, which means I am leaning 144 00:09:43,800 --> 00:09:49,640 Speaker 1: into fully the knowingness that life was designed to be uncertain, 145 00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:54,160 Speaker 1: that we don't control anything other than how we feel 146 00:09:54,200 --> 00:09:57,600 Speaker 1: about and treat ourselves. So for me, that feels like joy. 147 00:09:57,960 --> 00:10:00,160 Speaker 1: And I think, you know, it's interesting. As I I 148 00:10:00,240 --> 00:10:04,360 Speaker 1: even dive into and develop more of my relationship with Joy, 149 00:10:04,480 --> 00:10:07,480 Speaker 1: I always come back to this one particular passage in 150 00:10:07,520 --> 00:10:09,280 Speaker 1: the Bible. And you guys know, I'm a lover of 151 00:10:09,360 --> 00:10:13,240 Speaker 1: so many belief systems and so many sacred texts and 152 00:10:13,320 --> 00:10:17,240 Speaker 1: so many you know, ascended masters and saints and just 153 00:10:17,559 --> 00:10:21,040 Speaker 1: embodiments of the divine. But when I think of joy 154 00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:23,520 Speaker 1: in this moment, in the moment that we're in the 155 00:10:23,520 --> 00:10:26,160 Speaker 1: country and the moment that we're in with ourselves, I 156 00:10:26,200 --> 00:10:29,720 Speaker 1: think of this passage from Second Corinthians Um, which was 157 00:10:29,760 --> 00:10:32,520 Speaker 1: and I probably shared this on a really early episode 158 00:10:32,520 --> 00:10:36,079 Speaker 1: of the show, but when I was in a really difficult, 159 00:10:36,240 --> 00:10:39,520 Speaker 1: challenging state in my life eight years ago, this was 160 00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:44,880 Speaker 1: the passage that made me understand what faith was and 161 00:10:44,920 --> 00:10:48,320 Speaker 1: what surrender was. And you know, every time we reread 162 00:10:48,360 --> 00:10:50,880 Speaker 1: something over the years with new circumstances, were able to 163 00:10:50,920 --> 00:10:53,400 Speaker 1: deepen our connection to it, and so in this moment, 164 00:10:53,480 --> 00:10:58,640 Speaker 1: this passage for me also represents the freedom and the 165 00:10:58,720 --> 00:11:02,000 Speaker 1: ability to choose that we have at all moments, and 166 00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:05,080 Speaker 1: the joy that we can connect to even in the 167 00:11:05,120 --> 00:11:10,120 Speaker 1: midst of profound suffering and pain. And so Second Corinthians 168 00:11:10,960 --> 00:11:13,199 Speaker 1: the passage and it says I was given a thorn 169 00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:16,200 Speaker 1: in my flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me. 170 00:11:16,880 --> 00:11:19,400 Speaker 1: Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it 171 00:11:19,440 --> 00:11:23,840 Speaker 1: away from me, but he said, my grace is sufficient 172 00:11:23,920 --> 00:11:27,640 Speaker 1: for you, for my power is made perfect and weakness. 173 00:11:28,640 --> 00:11:32,920 Speaker 1: Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, 174 00:11:33,520 --> 00:11:37,200 Speaker 1: so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, 175 00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:41,840 Speaker 1: for Christ's sake, I delight in weakness and insults and 176 00:11:41,920 --> 00:11:47,480 Speaker 1: hardships and persecutions and difficulties. For when I am weak, 177 00:11:48,120 --> 00:11:52,320 Speaker 1: then I am strong. I love that. I love that 178 00:11:52,920 --> 00:11:57,040 Speaker 1: this this passage means so much for me, especially in 179 00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:03,160 Speaker 1: you know, finding way is to have joy, anyway, finding 180 00:12:03,240 --> 00:12:07,360 Speaker 1: ways to feel good about yourself and your life, regardless 181 00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:12,240 Speaker 1: of everything that feels like it's falling down all around us. 182 00:12:13,160 --> 00:12:17,080 Speaker 1: So the first time that I really started actively, actively, 183 00:12:17,120 --> 00:12:21,000 Speaker 1: actively pursuing joy like I don't mean I'm just passively 184 00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:24,240 Speaker 1: allowing perhaps I'll have some joy today, it'll flow in 185 00:12:24,280 --> 00:12:27,600 Speaker 1: and out. I mean I am in hot pursuit of 186 00:12:27,720 --> 00:12:30,920 Speaker 1: joy in every moment, like I am delightfully chasing it 187 00:12:31,440 --> 00:12:34,040 Speaker 1: and you know, playing hide and seek with it in 188 00:12:35,960 --> 00:12:40,559 Speaker 1: every day and every moment um. And that really kicked 189 00:12:40,600 --> 00:12:43,360 Speaker 1: off for me at the top of this pandemic. So 190 00:12:44,960 --> 00:12:48,480 Speaker 1: April may Ish, you know, life was. Life was so 191 00:12:48,720 --> 00:12:53,640 Speaker 1: radically shifting for me personally, professionally, also global. All the 192 00:12:53,720 --> 00:12:56,679 Speaker 1: things right, all the things were familiar with now, and 193 00:12:56,720 --> 00:13:00,960 Speaker 1: I said, I can't survive this without cultivating more joy. 194 00:13:01,040 --> 00:13:03,560 Speaker 1: And raising my son with joy is something that is 195 00:13:03,640 --> 00:13:07,320 Speaker 1: so significant and important for me. And so to do 196 00:13:07,360 --> 00:13:09,679 Speaker 1: that and to do it authentically, I knew I had 197 00:13:09,720 --> 00:13:12,560 Speaker 1: to find new ways to fill my cup and to 198 00:13:12,640 --> 00:13:18,040 Speaker 1: supercharge my experiences of my spirituality. So for me, finding 199 00:13:18,120 --> 00:13:23,520 Speaker 1: joy looks like going outside and when I feel that 200 00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:26,440 Speaker 1: sun on my face, on my skin, when I get 201 00:13:26,480 --> 00:13:30,800 Speaker 1: a faint smell of something lovely, you know, going to 202 00:13:30,880 --> 00:13:34,679 Speaker 1: past my nose or the wind hits my face, taking 203 00:13:34,840 --> 00:13:39,760 Speaker 1: a moment to savor it, taking time to savor myself 204 00:13:39,880 --> 00:13:42,880 Speaker 1: and to savor my day, and it could be seconds, 205 00:13:42,880 --> 00:13:46,280 Speaker 1: it could be minutes, but really just saying, oh, that 206 00:13:46,320 --> 00:13:49,480 Speaker 1: feels good, and taking a moment to root and anchor 207 00:13:49,520 --> 00:13:53,880 Speaker 1: and that feeling and really accept that feeling and allow 208 00:13:54,040 --> 00:13:56,880 Speaker 1: myself the gift of it. So that's what I love 209 00:13:56,920 --> 00:13:59,520 Speaker 1: to do, really in each moment as I'm in the 210 00:13:59,520 --> 00:14:03,080 Speaker 1: world and privately as part of my spiritual practice. Joy 211 00:14:03,120 --> 00:14:05,600 Speaker 1: for me really looks like every single night, after I 212 00:14:05,600 --> 00:14:09,560 Speaker 1: put my kid out of bed, turning on, you know, 213 00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:12,920 Speaker 1: an epic playlist of some sorts that feels really good, 214 00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:17,240 Speaker 1: lighting some candles, making some offerings, and then just dancing 215 00:14:17,679 --> 00:14:21,080 Speaker 1: and letting myself be free and letting myself build my 216 00:14:21,120 --> 00:14:24,360 Speaker 1: own happiness and build my own joy. And that's what 217 00:14:24,480 --> 00:14:27,200 Speaker 1: I think is so important too about our spiritual practices 218 00:14:27,880 --> 00:14:32,240 Speaker 1: and our connection to joy as we grow, as we transform, 219 00:14:32,320 --> 00:14:35,080 Speaker 1: as we heal. You know, it really teaches you the 220 00:14:35,120 --> 00:14:38,080 Speaker 1: deeper understanding of how to self regulate to where I 221 00:14:38,120 --> 00:14:42,280 Speaker 1: don't need a catalyst to feel good about myself for 222 00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:45,400 Speaker 1: my life. My day doesn't even have to be technically 223 00:14:45,480 --> 00:14:48,800 Speaker 1: going well by comparative standards for me to still feel 224 00:14:48,880 --> 00:14:53,200 Speaker 1: good as hell about me. And that comes from really 225 00:14:53,880 --> 00:14:59,240 Speaker 1: anchoring your identity in your spirit, and not in the 226 00:14:59,360 --> 00:15:01,120 Speaker 1: roles that we play, and not in the things we 227 00:15:01,160 --> 00:15:03,520 Speaker 1: are for other people, not even in for the most part, 228 00:15:03,520 --> 00:15:07,480 Speaker 1: our own fluctuating emotions, you know, just really anchoring in 229 00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:11,480 Speaker 1: and finding what our personal recipe for feeling good is. 230 00:15:12,440 --> 00:15:14,960 Speaker 1: So we are going to get into so much of that. 231 00:15:15,280 --> 00:15:17,480 Speaker 1: I have an amazing guest coming on the show. Her 232 00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:23,360 Speaker 1: name is Thea Mounier, and Thea is just a remarkable, brilliant, 233 00:15:23,480 --> 00:15:27,840 Speaker 1: brilliant woman. She's a therapist, she's a spiritual teacher. She 234 00:15:27,880 --> 00:15:31,960 Speaker 1: has incredible programs that she does on decolonizing mental health, 235 00:15:32,240 --> 00:15:34,840 Speaker 1: healing with joy that are available on her Instagram and 236 00:15:34,880 --> 00:15:38,960 Speaker 1: her website. She's done some really incredible campaigns and she 237 00:15:39,080 --> 00:15:42,160 Speaker 1: and I actually met. Well, I'll save this for her, 238 00:15:42,240 --> 00:15:45,640 Speaker 1: but let me finish giving you the beautiful rundown on her. So. 239 00:15:45,840 --> 00:15:49,120 Speaker 1: She is a licensed marriage and family therapist, a writer, 240 00:15:49,360 --> 00:15:52,800 Speaker 1: and a creative whose work stems from her unwavering commitment 241 00:15:52,840 --> 00:15:56,480 Speaker 1: to healing and her belief that true healing can only 242 00:15:56,480 --> 00:16:00,840 Speaker 1: occur in a liberated and non oppressive society. She is 243 00:16:00,880 --> 00:16:04,080 Speaker 1: the host of Shaping the Shift podcast and the director 244 00:16:04,120 --> 00:16:08,640 Speaker 1: of de Colonialization for the multimedia platform Black Girl Mixtape, 245 00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:10,680 Speaker 1: as well as a curator of the Black or the 246 00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:15,240 Speaker 1: Brain decolonizing mental health series, and THEA is currently featured 247 00:16:15,280 --> 00:16:18,240 Speaker 1: as a go Daddy maker to discuss mental health and 248 00:16:18,320 --> 00:16:24,120 Speaker 1: marginalized communities and accessing joy and pleasure. So, without further ado, 249 00:16:24,720 --> 00:16:29,240 Speaker 1: here she is THEA. Hey Devy, I'm so excited to 250 00:16:29,320 --> 00:16:32,400 Speaker 1: be here, so excited anytime I get to talk to 251 00:16:32,440 --> 00:16:35,520 Speaker 1: your girl, I am like, I am all in clear 252 00:16:35,600 --> 00:16:38,960 Speaker 1: the day. Yes, let's do it. I'm so we've we 253 00:16:39,040 --> 00:16:42,320 Speaker 1: promised that we would do this often, so we'ren yes. 254 00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:46,120 Speaker 1: So THEA I was saving this story. Um, let me 255 00:16:46,160 --> 00:16:49,760 Speaker 1: give a little background on out via and I'm neck guys. 256 00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:53,920 Speaker 1: So we were actually at the amazing My Leak Teals 257 00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:58,320 Speaker 1: retreat that is my boo love me so my Leak um. 258 00:16:58,360 --> 00:17:02,120 Speaker 1: She hosts a yearly beauty full retreat. And we were 259 00:17:02,160 --> 00:17:04,720 Speaker 1: there and they and I and we were in Mexico, 260 00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:08,400 Speaker 1: and I remember one of the days, uh, I think 261 00:17:08,400 --> 00:17:10,520 Speaker 1: it was towards the end of our time there. I 262 00:17:10,600 --> 00:17:13,720 Speaker 1: went out to the beach and I saw you and 263 00:17:14,119 --> 00:17:17,240 Speaker 1: one of your girlfriends standing in the water, and I 264 00:17:17,280 --> 00:17:19,160 Speaker 1: was like, I want to go talk to them. So 265 00:17:19,320 --> 00:17:21,320 Speaker 1: I just walked over to you guys and I was like, 266 00:17:21,320 --> 00:17:25,119 Speaker 1: can I join you in the ocean? That was so 267 00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:28,880 Speaker 1: beautiful too, Like it was great, it was perfect timing, Yes, 268 00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:30,840 Speaker 1: and you guys welcomed me in, and then we all 269 00:17:30,880 --> 00:17:33,119 Speaker 1: just started talking about all the things as we're like 270 00:17:33,359 --> 00:17:38,080 Speaker 1: literally wading in the water, Spirituality, motherhood, like which makes 271 00:17:38,080 --> 00:17:41,359 Speaker 1: me because we were literally standing, so all those things 272 00:17:41,480 --> 00:17:45,479 Speaker 1: naturally came forward and we just Yeah, we connected really deeply, 273 00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:48,479 Speaker 1: and we have built and kept that friendship going. And 274 00:17:48,560 --> 00:17:51,480 Speaker 1: I shared with everyone so many of the incredible things 275 00:17:51,520 --> 00:17:54,280 Speaker 1: that you do and so much of the justest of 276 00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:57,760 Speaker 1: brilliance that you embody, and so I was so excited 277 00:17:58,200 --> 00:18:01,639 Speaker 1: to have you on the show. So THEA, let's let's 278 00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:04,960 Speaker 1: like get into the meat of some of this, like 279 00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:09,080 Speaker 1: we're going to talk about the really we're gonna talk 280 00:18:09,119 --> 00:18:11,640 Speaker 1: about all the yummy stuff as it relates to joy, 281 00:18:11,880 --> 00:18:14,399 Speaker 1: but you know, let's talk about you're also you know, 282 00:18:14,440 --> 00:18:18,159 Speaker 1: you're also a licensed therapist, and you're somebody who is 283 00:18:18,280 --> 00:18:22,399 Speaker 1: deeply spiritual and deeply connected and intuitive and and really 284 00:18:22,440 --> 00:18:24,840 Speaker 1: embedded in so much ritual. And so what I love 285 00:18:25,160 --> 00:18:28,440 Speaker 1: is you know the deep I guess what we'd call 286 00:18:28,480 --> 00:18:32,480 Speaker 1: like more scientific background to healing and then also you know, 287 00:18:32,560 --> 00:18:36,960 Speaker 1: the beautiful understanding of how the divine heals outside of 288 00:18:37,040 --> 00:18:41,399 Speaker 1: our own personal inquisitions of self. So when we think about, 289 00:18:41,560 --> 00:18:44,760 Speaker 1: especially for the BIPOP community, when we think about the role, 290 00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:49,159 Speaker 1: you know, mental health, much like wellness, are incredibly on 291 00:18:49,240 --> 00:18:52,280 Speaker 1: trend right now. I mean, my gut, it's they are 292 00:18:52,440 --> 00:18:56,600 Speaker 1: the they're the just these trigger words that are said 293 00:18:56,680 --> 00:19:00,040 Speaker 1: so often and so often it's not really unders of 294 00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:02,159 Speaker 1: what the meaning is. Like, you know, the things we 295 00:19:02,240 --> 00:19:05,360 Speaker 1: keep hearing are you know, de stigmatized mental health or 296 00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:08,400 Speaker 1: you know, care about your wellness, And it's like nobody 297 00:19:08,520 --> 00:19:11,439 Speaker 1: is fully unpacking like how to do that because the 298 00:19:11,560 --> 00:19:17,080 Speaker 1: conversation so far surpasses just saying like go to therapy, girl, 299 00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:20,880 Speaker 1: find you a therapist. It's so far surpasses that. It's 300 00:19:20,880 --> 00:19:23,440 Speaker 1: so much deeper than that. And as someone that has 301 00:19:23,440 --> 00:19:28,560 Speaker 1: gone to therapy off and on for the last decade, um, 302 00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:32,560 Speaker 1: you know, something that's so incredible, because there's always more 303 00:19:32,560 --> 00:19:36,960 Speaker 1: to know about the movement to d colonized mental health 304 00:19:37,960 --> 00:19:41,800 Speaker 1: is when I even reflect back on previous therapy sessions, 305 00:19:41,840 --> 00:19:45,960 Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my God, like being informed of the 306 00:19:46,040 --> 00:19:50,960 Speaker 1: effect of colonialization, on the way we experience ourselves, on 307 00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:54,800 Speaker 1: the way we connect to spirituality, connect to therapy. It 308 00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:59,200 Speaker 1: is such a massive role that it is so understandable 309 00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:01,320 Speaker 1: how someone could say, I've been in therapy for ten 310 00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:04,639 Speaker 1: years and they haven't even healed, you know, necessarily a 311 00:20:04,640 --> 00:20:07,479 Speaker 1: lot of the things they went in to heal, because 312 00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:14,399 Speaker 1: the effects of colonialization are not really clearly understood most 313 00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:17,720 Speaker 1: definitely by the patient, but really by most therapists that 314 00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:20,879 Speaker 1: you go and speak to. I would say, yeah, I 315 00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:25,600 Speaker 1: would I vast majority, And even if they understand it, 316 00:20:25,600 --> 00:20:29,240 Speaker 1: it's not sanctioned within the field of mental health to 317 00:20:29,320 --> 00:20:32,320 Speaker 1: even discuss or unpack. So what does it mean to 318 00:20:32,520 --> 00:20:38,120 Speaker 1: de colonized mental health? So thank you for everything, I mean, 319 00:20:38,440 --> 00:20:41,600 Speaker 1: for laying that out, for having me here. I'm so honored. 320 00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:45,399 Speaker 1: You were definitely one of the big gifts that I 321 00:20:45,520 --> 00:20:48,520 Speaker 1: left that retreat with and and it just continues to 322 00:20:48,600 --> 00:20:52,080 Speaker 1: be a blessing. UM. So thank you, UM, thank you 323 00:20:52,119 --> 00:20:56,200 Speaker 1: for even you know, having this conversation as we're raising awareness, 324 00:20:56,240 --> 00:20:59,240 Speaker 1: because you're right, like these words like wellness and mental 325 00:20:59,240 --> 00:21:01,080 Speaker 1: health come up, and when we see things become on 326 00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:04,600 Speaker 1: trend like that, we can pretty much safely assume they've 327 00:21:04,640 --> 00:21:07,760 Speaker 1: only entered the mainstream because they've been sanctioned by whiteness, 328 00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:11,240 Speaker 1: which means they've been sanctioned by by that same colonial energy. 329 00:21:11,240 --> 00:21:14,800 Speaker 1: They've been colonized, Right, the concepts themselves have been colonized. 330 00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:17,760 Speaker 1: And so we have to begin with thinking about the 331 00:21:17,800 --> 00:21:20,520 Speaker 1: fact that mental health as we practice it and as 332 00:21:20,560 --> 00:21:25,360 Speaker 1: we see it originated within white culture, within specifically thinking 333 00:21:25,359 --> 00:21:29,720 Speaker 1: about European white culture, specifically thinking about affluent European white culture. Right, 334 00:21:29,760 --> 00:21:34,000 Speaker 1: that's a very narrow group of people that now when 335 00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:37,280 Speaker 1: we say to somebody, go get therapy, girl, those are 336 00:21:37,359 --> 00:21:41,560 Speaker 1: the people who were intended to receive this practice. And 337 00:21:41,680 --> 00:21:45,359 Speaker 1: yet we're now mandating it for people without expanding the 338 00:21:45,440 --> 00:21:48,200 Speaker 1: field to include their values and their perspectives and their 339 00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:52,359 Speaker 1: stories and their ancestry. It's not that prior to that 340 00:21:52,680 --> 00:21:58,600 Speaker 1: there weren't ways within our communities of managing emotion UM 341 00:21:58,640 --> 00:22:01,320 Speaker 1: dealing with mental health. Usually a lot of those things 342 00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:04,879 Speaker 1: dealt with community. It was viewed as a community issue 343 00:22:04,960 --> 00:22:07,760 Speaker 1: if somebody was going through something like, what are we 344 00:22:07,880 --> 00:22:10,719 Speaker 1: not offering them? What do they need? How can we 345 00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:15,640 Speaker 1: support UM? And so when you look back pre colonial dates, 346 00:22:16,080 --> 00:22:20,320 Speaker 1: it's not that you don't see strategies for wellness, or 347 00:22:20,359 --> 00:22:22,560 Speaker 1: for mental health, or for spiritual health. It's just that 348 00:22:22,600 --> 00:22:25,159 Speaker 1: they were more communal and they were more integrated. So 349 00:22:25,200 --> 00:22:26,879 Speaker 1: it's not like we gave them a separate name or 350 00:22:26,920 --> 00:22:29,639 Speaker 1: a separate category. It was built into what we were eating, 351 00:22:29,800 --> 00:22:31,840 Speaker 1: It was built into how we were relating with each other, 352 00:22:31,880 --> 00:22:33,720 Speaker 1: it was built into how we were relating to nature. 353 00:22:34,040 --> 00:22:36,400 Speaker 1: And so separating it out in and of itself, it's 354 00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:39,879 Speaker 1: already an indication that you started to encounter Western thought 355 00:22:40,760 --> 00:22:43,680 Speaker 1: as dominant thought. Right, So the idea that mental health 356 00:22:43,720 --> 00:22:48,520 Speaker 1: is separate from you know, folks religions and their spirituality, 357 00:22:48,600 --> 00:22:51,080 Speaker 1: or how they prepare their food, or how they said 358 00:22:51,080 --> 00:22:53,880 Speaker 1: at the kitchen table, that for us, all of these 359 00:22:53,880 --> 00:22:57,160 Speaker 1: things are truly mental health. What what can we name 360 00:22:57,480 --> 00:23:03,359 Speaker 1: that doesn't have an impact on our toal health? Right? Right? So? Right, Like, 361 00:23:03,520 --> 00:23:06,400 Speaker 1: so mental health is actually everything and everywhere. It's not 362 00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:09,600 Speaker 1: in this space or in this office, except it's only 363 00:23:09,680 --> 00:23:12,560 Speaker 1: seemed as valid and it's only labeled as that when 364 00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:16,440 Speaker 1: it happens within a framework that has been constructed by 365 00:23:16,520 --> 00:23:21,480 Speaker 1: that affluent, white European ideal. Right, So what we say 366 00:23:21,520 --> 00:23:26,359 Speaker 1: decolonized mental health what we're saying is let's go back. Really, 367 00:23:26,359 --> 00:23:28,760 Speaker 1: what we're saying is, let's say colonize of society to 368 00:23:28,800 --> 00:23:32,000 Speaker 1: be honest, because mental health is everywhere. We're saying, let's 369 00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:34,119 Speaker 1: go back to a time when my humanity was so 370 00:23:34,320 --> 00:23:37,119 Speaker 1: valid I didn't need a therapist. Let's go back to 371 00:23:37,320 --> 00:23:40,000 Speaker 1: values that when I'm sick, people don't look at me 372 00:23:40,040 --> 00:23:42,000 Speaker 1: and say something's wrong with me. They say what's wrong 373 00:23:42,080 --> 00:23:44,080 Speaker 1: with us? And how can we work on that together. 374 00:23:44,720 --> 00:23:47,160 Speaker 1: That's really the ultimate battle cry of what we're saying 375 00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:50,040 Speaker 1: with the colonizing mental health. But we're challenging the field 376 00:23:50,080 --> 00:23:53,440 Speaker 1: first because because it is a buzz word and because 377 00:23:53,440 --> 00:23:57,720 Speaker 1: it can penetrate all areas of our life. Yeah, give 378 00:23:57,760 --> 00:24:01,080 Speaker 1: me if you would. Let's help. Let's help illustrate this further, 379 00:24:01,200 --> 00:24:04,679 Speaker 1: especially for people that maybe listening, that haven't even that 380 00:24:04,760 --> 00:24:08,320 Speaker 1: are not on a therapy journey per se. So when 381 00:24:08,359 --> 00:24:12,680 Speaker 1: I think about and please correct me, um, if you're understanding, 382 00:24:12,680 --> 00:24:18,159 Speaker 1: but if I think about how I've experienced colonialism in therapy, 383 00:24:18,280 --> 00:24:22,400 Speaker 1: it would be like, say I go into my therapist 384 00:24:22,480 --> 00:24:26,240 Speaker 1: and I want to talk about things I'm experiencing in 385 00:24:26,280 --> 00:24:29,879 Speaker 1: the workplace. You know, maybe I am really starting to 386 00:24:31,200 --> 00:24:36,359 Speaker 1: feel a certain level of worthlessness or anxiety or anxiousness 387 00:24:36,640 --> 00:24:39,480 Speaker 1: um in dealing with some coworkers where I work, and 388 00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:45,199 Speaker 1: you know, there might be microaggressions happening network, and you know, 389 00:24:45,280 --> 00:24:47,880 Speaker 1: all all of these different little things that are sometimes 390 00:24:47,920 --> 00:24:51,240 Speaker 1: invisible to the naked eye, but you feel it, and 391 00:24:51,480 --> 00:24:54,680 Speaker 1: you feel you know when some things are because you're 392 00:24:54,680 --> 00:24:57,399 Speaker 1: a woman, or because of your race, or you know, 393 00:24:57,640 --> 00:25:00,640 Speaker 1: there is a tone, there is a there's a deeper 394 00:25:00,760 --> 00:25:03,600 Speaker 1: intuitiveness than that. And so I may be talking to 395 00:25:03,640 --> 00:25:05,719 Speaker 1: my therapist about and she she might be helping me 396 00:25:05,800 --> 00:25:08,560 Speaker 1: unpack it, right, She might be like, well, so tell me, so, 397 00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:10,399 Speaker 1: how does that make you feel? Or tell me you 398 00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:12,400 Speaker 1: know what comes up for you when that person does that. 399 00:25:12,760 --> 00:25:14,920 Speaker 1: But then there's this elephant in the room that we 400 00:25:15,040 --> 00:25:19,520 Speaker 1: haven't talked about, which is perhaps what I'm intuiting is 401 00:25:19,960 --> 00:25:24,760 Speaker 1: valid based on systemic racism, based on colonialism, based on 402 00:25:25,320 --> 00:25:27,840 Speaker 1: you know, all of the systems of oppression and plays 403 00:25:27,960 --> 00:25:31,920 Speaker 1: against women, against people of color. And so actually, like, 404 00:25:32,359 --> 00:25:37,360 Speaker 1: instead of me navigating how to just focus on myself 405 00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:40,160 Speaker 1: and my role in things, it's like calling out, well, 406 00:25:40,440 --> 00:25:45,320 Speaker 1: your boss is most likely you know, bigoted or racist 407 00:25:45,560 --> 00:25:49,119 Speaker 1: or you know, this might be mail aggression or and 408 00:25:49,160 --> 00:25:52,120 Speaker 1: I'm making this scenario completely up, but you know, it's 409 00:25:52,160 --> 00:25:55,680 Speaker 1: like it's it's those unspoken elephants in the room that 410 00:25:55,720 --> 00:25:59,320 Speaker 1: are the effect of colonialism that don't get talked about 411 00:25:59,320 --> 00:26:01,520 Speaker 1: when you're in a session. And so what I found 412 00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:06,280 Speaker 1: is so many of us walk around, especially up until 413 00:26:06,280 --> 00:26:08,320 Speaker 1: recently the last couple of years, when we've been having 414 00:26:08,359 --> 00:26:11,520 Speaker 1: these expansive conversations, so many of us walk around and 415 00:26:11,560 --> 00:26:15,520 Speaker 1: it's as if everything is our fault, or as if 416 00:26:15,560 --> 00:26:18,359 Speaker 1: you're imagining, or as if it's like somehow I was 417 00:26:18,400 --> 00:26:20,840 Speaker 1: just born into this hole that I can't climb out of. 418 00:26:21,160 --> 00:26:22,560 Speaker 1: And when you go to get help and you go 419 00:26:22,600 --> 00:26:26,520 Speaker 1: to get resources, people are only directing you to understand 420 00:26:27,080 --> 00:26:29,600 Speaker 1: what you can do differently, what you can do better, 421 00:26:29,640 --> 00:26:35,040 Speaker 1: but without validating that your experience is such because of 422 00:26:35,320 --> 00:26:39,160 Speaker 1: all of the systems and structures in places. Yes, so 423 00:26:40,400 --> 00:26:45,080 Speaker 1: crystal clear, perfect example, right, perfect example. And so because 424 00:26:45,119 --> 00:26:47,400 Speaker 1: you laid that out so well, what I can now 425 00:26:47,480 --> 00:26:49,960 Speaker 1: do is go back and point out all the spaces 426 00:26:50,000 --> 00:26:52,400 Speaker 1: that something should have and could have been done differently. Right. 427 00:26:52,760 --> 00:26:56,840 Speaker 1: So the first thing is when we assess clients, when 428 00:26:56,840 --> 00:26:59,840 Speaker 1: they're coming in for mental health services, we need to 429 00:27:00,520 --> 00:27:04,240 Speaker 1: ask questions about systemic oppression, spystemic racism. Have you experienced it, 430 00:27:04,440 --> 00:27:06,560 Speaker 1: how has it shown up in your life? You know, 431 00:27:06,640 --> 00:27:10,080 Speaker 1: what are your feelings about these things that already acknowledges 432 00:27:10,119 --> 00:27:14,200 Speaker 1: that what you're coming in here to work on there's 433 00:27:14,240 --> 00:27:16,400 Speaker 1: a portion of it that wouldn't exist if we were 434 00:27:16,400 --> 00:27:20,760 Speaker 1: in a different society that value different things. Right. So, 435 00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:22,760 Speaker 1: one of things I always say is if I took 436 00:27:22,840 --> 00:27:24,880 Speaker 1: somebody from the society and put them in a more 437 00:27:24,880 --> 00:27:30,400 Speaker 1: affirming society and their issues go away, right, the anxiety, 438 00:27:30,440 --> 00:27:33,119 Speaker 1: the depression, the self worth, right, the feelings that I 439 00:27:33,160 --> 00:27:34,640 Speaker 1: have to be productive, I have to be on all 440 00:27:34,640 --> 00:27:39,119 Speaker 1: the time because I moved them into a non capitalistic, affirming, 441 00:27:39,560 --> 00:27:43,560 Speaker 1: non racialized society. Then it's never been the person's illness. 442 00:27:43,800 --> 00:27:47,879 Speaker 1: The person is actually demonstrating and screaming out for the 443 00:27:47,920 --> 00:27:51,800 Speaker 1: society to recognize its own illness. We are reflecting back 444 00:27:51,960 --> 00:27:56,000 Speaker 1: that illness, right. And so when you do therapy, the 445 00:27:56,000 --> 00:27:58,240 Speaker 1: way it's set up in a in a colonized way 446 00:27:58,880 --> 00:28:02,520 Speaker 1: is they don't have the tools or the language to 447 00:28:02,720 --> 00:28:05,560 Speaker 1: even assess for it because it's very problem centered and 448 00:28:05,600 --> 00:28:09,720 Speaker 1: problem focused and so you do leave their feeling like one. 449 00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:13,520 Speaker 1: They've never named systemic oppression, they've never named racism. They've 450 00:28:13,520 --> 00:28:16,159 Speaker 1: never said hey, are you know we do and not 451 00:28:16,240 --> 00:28:18,280 Speaker 1: even asking right because they would say do you think 452 00:28:18,280 --> 00:28:21,119 Speaker 1: it's racism? No, don't say that. Say well, we know 453 00:28:22,040 --> 00:28:25,040 Speaker 1: that we live in a society that is rooted in 454 00:28:25,080 --> 00:28:28,960 Speaker 1: anti blackness, and we know that corporations and businesses set 455 00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:32,760 Speaker 1: up a model based on plantations. Right, that is the 456 00:28:32,800 --> 00:28:35,879 Speaker 1: model for modern day business. And you can listen to 457 00:28:35,920 --> 00:28:38,880 Speaker 1: that back in the sixteen nineteen project. That's how we 458 00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:42,560 Speaker 1: established business. Right, that's how we established the workplace off 459 00:28:42,640 --> 00:28:46,360 Speaker 1: of plantations. So we know that these are the facts, 460 00:28:46,720 --> 00:28:48,640 Speaker 1: and as a therapist, I felt it's important that I 461 00:28:48,760 --> 00:28:52,520 Speaker 1: state those facts. I'm not even gonna ask you that question, right, 462 00:28:52,640 --> 00:28:54,680 Speaker 1: do you think it could be? Right? Because then it's 463 00:28:54,680 --> 00:28:57,200 Speaker 1: like still on you. Right, it's like, well, let's just 464 00:28:57,280 --> 00:29:01,440 Speaker 1: call a thing a thing, right, and that that is 465 00:29:01,520 --> 00:29:05,080 Speaker 1: playing a role in what you're experiencing, or it could 466 00:29:05,120 --> 00:29:07,959 Speaker 1: be because maybe that person isn't ready to admit that 467 00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:10,480 Speaker 1: it could be about racism, and they're like, oh, well 468 00:29:10,520 --> 00:29:13,040 Speaker 1: maybe I never because we don't always give reselves permission, 469 00:29:13,400 --> 00:29:17,240 Speaker 1: because we don't think it will be valid validated value. 470 00:29:17,480 --> 00:29:20,720 Speaker 1: So exactly what you said what that person should have 471 00:29:20,760 --> 00:29:22,959 Speaker 1: done is they should have walked it into the room. 472 00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:26,200 Speaker 1: You shouldn't have had to and before you even as 473 00:29:26,360 --> 00:29:29,120 Speaker 1: if you identified as a person of color, then in 474 00:29:29,160 --> 00:29:32,920 Speaker 1: your assessment, there should have been information and things that 475 00:29:33,040 --> 00:29:35,280 Speaker 1: signal to you that it was okay to discuss this 476 00:29:35,360 --> 00:29:38,640 Speaker 1: in a racialized way. Um. And so those are some 477 00:29:38,720 --> 00:29:41,120 Speaker 1: of the steps that we're trying to put into the 478 00:29:41,160 --> 00:29:43,240 Speaker 1: processes when we think about the back of the brain, 479 00:29:43,280 --> 00:29:45,120 Speaker 1: because that makes all the difference in the world, because 480 00:29:45,120 --> 00:29:46,760 Speaker 1: then you're not gonna tell me to just go debreathe 481 00:29:46,760 --> 00:29:49,680 Speaker 1: and drink some water. You're going to tell me too 482 00:29:50,720 --> 00:29:54,000 Speaker 1: that I'm valuable and I'm that and what I'm experiencing 483 00:29:54,160 --> 00:29:58,320 Speaker 1: is real, and not leave me, and that is enough. 484 00:29:58,360 --> 00:30:02,440 Speaker 1: Sometimes now walk away from your office wondering if I'm 485 00:30:02,480 --> 00:30:06,120 Speaker 1: crazy or feeling so vulnerable that I expose myself in 486 00:30:06,120 --> 00:30:08,800 Speaker 1: this way. You know, Yeah, and you know so much 487 00:30:08,840 --> 00:30:14,080 Speaker 1: of like the process of transforming ourselves, whether that is 488 00:30:14,160 --> 00:30:17,800 Speaker 1: through therapy or that's through our own spiritual practices. But 489 00:30:18,240 --> 00:30:20,160 Speaker 1: you know, very often in the beginning, it's like you 490 00:30:20,160 --> 00:30:22,960 Speaker 1: are looking up at this giant mountain and you're saying, 491 00:30:22,960 --> 00:30:25,240 Speaker 1: how the hell will I scale this? How do I 492 00:30:25,280 --> 00:30:29,120 Speaker 1: even attempt to climb this mountain? I'm now getting downloads 493 00:30:29,200 --> 00:30:31,320 Speaker 1: of all the things out of alignment in my life, 494 00:30:31,400 --> 00:30:34,000 Speaker 1: of all the traumas I've experienced in their effects, and 495 00:30:34,320 --> 00:30:36,800 Speaker 1: how do I even attempt this? You know? And I 496 00:30:36,800 --> 00:30:40,880 Speaker 1: think from what you were saying so much if there 497 00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:46,600 Speaker 1: is uh more of a thoughtfulness and the implementation of 498 00:30:46,640 --> 00:30:52,000 Speaker 1: these understandings that you've shared within all therapy and therapies. 499 00:30:52,080 --> 00:30:54,280 Speaker 1: I don't know if that's the word environment, you know, 500 00:30:54,400 --> 00:30:59,240 Speaker 1: then that would um, it's not a mountain anymore, because 501 00:30:59,280 --> 00:31:02,240 Speaker 1: it's it's not about you, Yeah, it's not, well, not 502 00:31:02,440 --> 00:31:05,920 Speaker 1: just about you. You're understanding your role in the collective. 503 00:31:06,000 --> 00:31:09,720 Speaker 1: And so then there's opportunity to find peace that even 504 00:31:09,720 --> 00:31:11,840 Speaker 1: though these systems exist where in the we're in the 505 00:31:11,920 --> 00:31:16,400 Speaker 1: process as always of trying to dismantle them. But you know, 506 00:31:16,480 --> 00:31:18,640 Speaker 1: these systems have been in place since the dawn of 507 00:31:18,840 --> 00:31:23,000 Speaker 1: since the inception of society as a construct. It would 508 00:31:23,040 --> 00:31:26,920 Speaker 1: help us, you know, understand how to still access joy 509 00:31:27,080 --> 00:31:30,600 Speaker 1: and worth and meaning in our lives even if these 510 00:31:30,640 --> 00:31:36,720 Speaker 1: systems are still in place and power and some part 511 00:31:36,760 --> 00:31:39,080 Speaker 1: of what you have to ask as a practitioner, any 512 00:31:39,120 --> 00:31:42,760 Speaker 1: sort of practitioner, because because wellness, if you're a yoga instructor, 513 00:31:43,200 --> 00:31:45,320 Speaker 1: you cannot work with black bodies and yoga the way 514 00:31:45,360 --> 00:31:49,480 Speaker 1: you work with white bodies and yoga. We carry different things, 515 00:31:50,040 --> 00:31:54,200 Speaker 1: and so does your practice, your yoga practice understand that, 516 00:31:54,520 --> 00:31:57,880 Speaker 1: because what you're teaching accommodate for for what we're storing 517 00:31:57,920 --> 00:32:00,080 Speaker 1: in our hips, in our bodies. Does your yoga a 518 00:32:00,120 --> 00:32:03,680 Speaker 1: practice accommodate people who were once enslaved and could not 519 00:32:04,280 --> 00:32:09,280 Speaker 1: authorize within their own bodies? Right, So it gives them peace, 520 00:32:09,480 --> 00:32:11,680 Speaker 1: right because if there's the validation, but it also gives 521 00:32:11,680 --> 00:32:14,160 Speaker 1: them power, like to walk out of that space and 522 00:32:14,200 --> 00:32:17,400 Speaker 1: be like, I'm not crazy, you're crazy. This is crazy. 523 00:32:17,480 --> 00:32:21,320 Speaker 1: Tony Morrison said, racism is neurotic, it is psychotic, It 524 00:32:21,400 --> 00:32:24,400 Speaker 1: is crazy, and it feels crazy, and she's accurate in that. 525 00:32:24,760 --> 00:32:27,600 Speaker 1: But we when we put it on the people who 526 00:32:27,680 --> 00:32:31,480 Speaker 1: are experiencing it, then we are saying, no, it's not that, 527 00:32:31,560 --> 00:32:34,360 Speaker 1: it's not crazy, you're crazy, which is gaslighting. Right. So 528 00:32:34,760 --> 00:32:37,320 Speaker 1: then here we are as people who are here to help, 529 00:32:37,520 --> 00:32:39,800 Speaker 1: as people who have good intentions, but we're being used 530 00:32:39,800 --> 00:32:43,280 Speaker 1: as an extension of a system to gaslight people back 531 00:32:43,320 --> 00:32:47,280 Speaker 1: into what work, back into work, back into line, back 532 00:32:47,320 --> 00:32:51,600 Speaker 1: into capitalism, back into the same plantation system that we 533 00:32:51,680 --> 00:32:55,040 Speaker 1: all grew up in, right, And so that power piece 534 00:32:55,080 --> 00:32:57,680 Speaker 1: is so important because that begs the question, if you 535 00:32:57,720 --> 00:33:00,440 Speaker 1: are a healing practitioner, no matter what area of wellness 536 00:33:00,440 --> 00:33:03,440 Speaker 1: you find yourself in, who do you work for? Do 537 00:33:03,520 --> 00:33:05,720 Speaker 1: you work for the society or do you work for 538 00:33:05,720 --> 00:33:08,000 Speaker 1: the liberation of the people that you're serving, Because those 539 00:33:08,040 --> 00:33:10,840 Speaker 1: are two very different ball games. If I work for 540 00:33:10,880 --> 00:33:13,120 Speaker 1: the society, then all I'm trying to do is get 541 00:33:13,160 --> 00:33:15,080 Speaker 1: this person called mis centered enough to go back to 542 00:33:15,120 --> 00:33:17,840 Speaker 1: work and functioning. But if I work for this person 543 00:33:18,120 --> 00:33:20,479 Speaker 1: that I don't just want them to leave at peace 544 00:33:20,760 --> 00:33:22,760 Speaker 1: and at ease. I want them to leave empowered and 545 00:33:22,800 --> 00:33:26,840 Speaker 1: self authorizing because I want them I recognize that the 546 00:33:26,880 --> 00:33:30,760 Speaker 1: only way the work that I'm doing makes sense is 547 00:33:30,880 --> 00:33:34,280 Speaker 1: if one day it heals everything. I have to be 548 00:33:34,360 --> 00:33:38,440 Speaker 1: able to envision a world that's not sick. And if 549 00:33:38,440 --> 00:33:41,480 Speaker 1: I'm a healer, and that's what I say, I'm committed to. 550 00:33:42,120 --> 00:33:44,600 Speaker 1: It's not just about this person. It's about making sure 551 00:33:44,640 --> 00:33:46,880 Speaker 1: this person is equipped to go back out into that 552 00:33:46,960 --> 00:33:50,280 Speaker 1: world and say no, I'm not the sick one. And 553 00:33:50,280 --> 00:33:53,320 Speaker 1: and in doing that that I need to be challenging 554 00:33:53,560 --> 00:33:56,760 Speaker 1: that system and saying it's sick. I need to be 555 00:33:56,840 --> 00:34:01,560 Speaker 1: calling get out right, because my goal is to heal 556 00:34:02,160 --> 00:34:05,760 Speaker 1: us all unless my goal is just to sit here 557 00:34:05,800 --> 00:34:09,040 Speaker 1: and play my role within the system. Yes, God, and 558 00:34:09,080 --> 00:34:11,840 Speaker 1: what you just spoke to first of all, it's all 559 00:34:12,160 --> 00:34:14,719 Speaker 1: so damn powerful. So let me just sitting that for 560 00:34:14,760 --> 00:34:17,520 Speaker 1: a second. Well, so you know what I'm really hearing 561 00:34:17,560 --> 00:34:21,920 Speaker 1: from this too, And and this isn't I didn't even 562 00:34:22,239 --> 00:34:25,000 Speaker 1: learn to apply this word to myself in the last 563 00:34:25,040 --> 00:34:27,759 Speaker 1: couple of years, and I didn't even see where it 564 00:34:27,840 --> 00:34:31,440 Speaker 1: applied to moments in my life. But a big, big 565 00:34:31,560 --> 00:34:35,160 Speaker 1: part of the experience of being non white in America 566 00:34:35,640 --> 00:34:40,120 Speaker 1: is just not understanding how to having permission to or 567 00:34:40,120 --> 00:34:45,800 Speaker 1: even knowing that you can advocate for yourself self. Advocation 568 00:34:46,560 --> 00:34:51,120 Speaker 1: has changed everything about my life and what it really is. 569 00:34:51,160 --> 00:34:54,600 Speaker 1: It builds up your confidence and your personal power when 570 00:34:54,640 --> 00:34:57,279 Speaker 1: you're able to exercise it in real time. And so 571 00:34:57,320 --> 00:34:58,839 Speaker 1: what I'm hearing from a lot of what you were 572 00:34:58,880 --> 00:35:04,000 Speaker 1: sharing is even just the knowledge and being validated that 573 00:35:04,080 --> 00:35:07,799 Speaker 1: these systems are at play and are at work. That 574 00:35:07,960 --> 00:35:12,640 Speaker 1: awareness then empowers you to an every moment advocate otherwise 575 00:35:12,920 --> 00:35:15,319 Speaker 1: and every moment call out things in real time and 576 00:35:15,360 --> 00:35:18,239 Speaker 1: have the confidence in doing so and in understanding what 577 00:35:18,280 --> 00:35:22,839 Speaker 1: these structures are and in knowing when you are being mistreated, 578 00:35:23,239 --> 00:35:26,520 Speaker 1: even at a micro micro level, because the mistreatment in 579 00:35:26,560 --> 00:35:29,759 Speaker 1: this country doesn't just happen on those macro levels. It's 580 00:35:29,800 --> 00:35:32,360 Speaker 1: not it's not the big moments you know all the 581 00:35:32,400 --> 00:35:34,399 Speaker 1: time where you're walking down the street and someone maybe 582 00:35:34,400 --> 00:35:36,759 Speaker 1: calls you the N word, or you know, some man 583 00:35:37,160 --> 00:35:40,160 Speaker 1: um you know, without consent tries to touch you or 584 00:35:40,239 --> 00:35:43,719 Speaker 1: be you know, um belittles you because you don't want 585 00:35:43,719 --> 00:35:46,040 Speaker 1: to give them attention. It's usually in those tiny little 586 00:35:46,040 --> 00:35:49,959 Speaker 1: macro ways, those little quick little words or tones or 587 00:35:50,320 --> 00:35:54,000 Speaker 1: you know, body language, and being able to be equipped 588 00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:59,040 Speaker 1: without awareness and build up that personal power of advocating 589 00:35:59,080 --> 00:36:01,839 Speaker 1: for yourself when you've all mistreated or calling things out 590 00:36:01,880 --> 00:36:05,960 Speaker 1: in real time, that is what you know. Ideally, you 591 00:36:05,960 --> 00:36:09,240 Speaker 1: should be walking out of a therapy session building in yourself. 592 00:36:09,280 --> 00:36:11,720 Speaker 1: That should be the muscle you're building how to stand 593 00:36:11,719 --> 00:36:14,360 Speaker 1: in your truth, how to know what's real and true 594 00:36:14,360 --> 00:36:18,560 Speaker 1: and what isn't and what's programming. And this is where 595 00:36:19,480 --> 00:36:21,440 Speaker 1: you're gonna love this because this is where the spirituality 596 00:36:21,440 --> 00:36:23,960 Speaker 1: piece comes in. Right. This is why when we talk 597 00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:27,040 Speaker 1: about de colonizing mental health, we are simultaneously talking about 598 00:36:27,080 --> 00:36:34,319 Speaker 1: activating ancestral practices and integrating spirituality. Right because Okay, when 599 00:36:34,360 --> 00:36:39,799 Speaker 1: that person walks out affirmed, right and validated without even 600 00:36:39,840 --> 00:36:42,560 Speaker 1: my help, after that point, there's a natural process where 601 00:36:42,560 --> 00:36:45,680 Speaker 1: that third chakra begins to activate, right that that sense 602 00:36:45,719 --> 00:36:50,640 Speaker 1: of self, that sense of autonomy and authority, and what 603 00:36:50,840 --> 00:36:55,560 Speaker 1: can support that further is your spiritual practice. Right. So 604 00:36:56,080 --> 00:36:58,879 Speaker 1: for me, I practice after spirituality partly because I get 605 00:36:58,880 --> 00:37:03,759 Speaker 1: to see energies and the form of black women who 606 00:37:03,840 --> 00:37:07,799 Speaker 1: walk around and are like, I can't even feel you're 607 00:37:07,920 --> 00:37:09,520 Speaker 1: evil that you're trying to throw at me. I don't 608 00:37:09,560 --> 00:37:12,960 Speaker 1: even recognize this as valid, Like I don't even know 609 00:37:13,000 --> 00:37:15,799 Speaker 1: what you're talking about, Like I can't it can't even 610 00:37:15,960 --> 00:37:18,560 Speaker 1: like to walk around in so much power. And I 611 00:37:18,880 --> 00:37:22,840 Speaker 1: couldn't find examples of that in Western um spiritual practices, 612 00:37:23,080 --> 00:37:26,719 Speaker 1: but there's so many and Afro spirituality that like when 613 00:37:26,760 --> 00:37:29,440 Speaker 1: I'm like when I go from that therapist office and 614 00:37:29,440 --> 00:37:31,160 Speaker 1: then I then I pick up a book on o 615 00:37:31,320 --> 00:37:33,560 Speaker 1: yah or on oshoon or on Yeah. But yeah, I'm 616 00:37:33,600 --> 00:37:36,759 Speaker 1: like and and I'm like, I can do that, right, 617 00:37:36,840 --> 00:37:40,120 Speaker 1: I can authorize myself in that way. You know, it's 618 00:37:40,160 --> 00:37:43,839 Speaker 1: so interesting to watch. I mean even you know, we've 619 00:37:43,880 --> 00:37:47,080 Speaker 1: been going through election stuff, but like I'm watching the 620 00:37:47,120 --> 00:37:51,480 Speaker 1: self authorization of people and them self liberate and and 621 00:37:51,520 --> 00:37:55,040 Speaker 1: I a cohort member, Darnicia Lawson said, is a part 622 00:37:55,040 --> 00:37:57,000 Speaker 1: of our the Black or the Brain cohort. And we 623 00:37:57,360 --> 00:38:00,120 Speaker 1: have these ongoing conversations about this. I mean, you're going 624 00:38:00,160 --> 00:38:03,439 Speaker 1: to have to come talk to this cohort. I cannot wait. Yeah, 625 00:38:03,480 --> 00:38:05,839 Speaker 1: it's great. There, You're gonna love it. They're brilliant. And 626 00:38:05,960 --> 00:38:07,600 Speaker 1: she was like, I just want to be clear that 627 00:38:07,680 --> 00:38:11,000 Speaker 1: what we are advocating for is not emancipation. It's liberation, right. 628 00:38:11,000 --> 00:38:15,200 Speaker 1: Emancipation is waiting for someone to come free you. And 629 00:38:15,239 --> 00:38:16,880 Speaker 1: I do feel like a lot of us have been 630 00:38:16,920 --> 00:38:20,360 Speaker 1: trained to condition to wait for emancipation. Oh my gosh, 631 00:38:20,400 --> 00:38:22,120 Speaker 1: I feel like that I was that so many of 632 00:38:22,200 --> 00:38:24,440 Speaker 1: and it and it comes in so many forms, right, 633 00:38:24,520 --> 00:38:27,440 Speaker 1: like not even just in the historical context of like 634 00:38:28,239 --> 00:38:32,600 Speaker 1: being emancipated, right, like like being told you can be 635 00:38:32,680 --> 00:38:35,760 Speaker 1: free instead of knowing you were free. But then also 636 00:38:36,080 --> 00:38:39,040 Speaker 1: especially for women down to you know, the simplest things 637 00:38:39,040 --> 00:38:42,800 Speaker 1: like growing up on Disney movies and cartoons, that that's 638 00:38:42,800 --> 00:38:47,680 Speaker 1: say that I'm sleeping, I'm sleeping beauty and someone came 639 00:38:47,760 --> 00:38:50,440 Speaker 1: to free me, or you know, the posle and someone 640 00:38:50,560 --> 00:38:52,960 Speaker 1: came to free me, and that was my only means 641 00:38:53,040 --> 00:38:56,600 Speaker 1: of being free. Yeah wow, yeah, And so she she 642 00:38:56,680 --> 00:38:59,279 Speaker 1: highlighted that and that we we are actively rooted in 643 00:38:59,320 --> 00:39:02,840 Speaker 1: liberation meaning people. We believe people have the power to 644 00:39:02,920 --> 00:39:07,000 Speaker 1: self authorize and self govern right and self um and 645 00:39:07,040 --> 00:39:10,120 Speaker 1: self liberate. So part of what we have to know though, 646 00:39:10,560 --> 00:39:13,200 Speaker 1: is most of the people were dealing with have been 647 00:39:13,239 --> 00:39:15,960 Speaker 1: trained in condition for emancipation, which is why our role 648 00:39:16,000 --> 00:39:18,879 Speaker 1: as healers is so important. In that moment, we are 649 00:39:18,960 --> 00:39:21,520 Speaker 1: engaging in an act of emancipation because that's what they've 650 00:39:21,520 --> 00:39:23,759 Speaker 1: been conditioned for. But then we have to set them 651 00:39:23,800 --> 00:39:27,319 Speaker 1: up to sustain their liberation from that point forward, right, 652 00:39:27,520 --> 00:39:29,960 Speaker 1: And so when they bring in their ancestral practices, and 653 00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:32,680 Speaker 1: they bring in their ideas, and they bring in so 654 00:39:32,760 --> 00:39:36,480 Speaker 1: many beautiful aspects of themselves and their individual individuality, it 655 00:39:36,600 --> 00:39:39,440 Speaker 1: is our job to continue to affirm and build with 656 00:39:39,480 --> 00:39:41,799 Speaker 1: that not to say, well, I don't know. I think 657 00:39:42,000 --> 00:39:44,600 Speaker 1: Freud would have done it this way. Funk Freud. They're 658 00:39:44,600 --> 00:39:46,839 Speaker 1: talking about Freid. He's a indciation. You know what I'm saying. 659 00:39:46,960 --> 00:39:50,239 Speaker 1: We're talking about you and your life, you know, and 660 00:39:50,480 --> 00:39:52,880 Speaker 1: everything you're saying is completely Validlet's build it in and 661 00:39:52,880 --> 00:39:54,920 Speaker 1: I'll bring my knowledge, you bring your knowledge, and I 662 00:39:54,960 --> 00:39:57,080 Speaker 1: bring my answers and you bring my answers. And this 663 00:39:57,239 --> 00:40:00,879 Speaker 1: is what the colonized therapy is, right. We all hear 664 00:40:00,920 --> 00:40:04,880 Speaker 1: a family, community, spiritual and in the physical world working 665 00:40:04,920 --> 00:40:08,719 Speaker 1: together towards a healing moment, a healing opportunity. You know 666 00:40:08,760 --> 00:40:11,160 Speaker 1: what the of course the miracle says, is a miracle, 667 00:40:11,440 --> 00:40:13,839 Speaker 1: this healing moment of revelation where we see each other 668 00:40:13,880 --> 00:40:15,839 Speaker 1: as we truly are. That's it. That's all we're trying 669 00:40:15,840 --> 00:40:21,680 Speaker 1: to create, and we cannot do that through a colonized winds. Yeah, 670 00:40:21,920 --> 00:40:27,360 Speaker 1: everybody listening is your iPhone on fire right now? Wow, 671 00:40:27,680 --> 00:40:30,200 Speaker 1: talk to me about black or the brain co co 672 00:40:30,200 --> 00:40:34,600 Speaker 1: cohort because I know so many people listening. Um, I mean, 673 00:40:34,640 --> 00:40:38,239 Speaker 1: this is something this is something so revolutionary, and I 674 00:40:38,280 --> 00:40:40,080 Speaker 1: know so many of the listeners of this show. We're 675 00:40:40,080 --> 00:40:41,759 Speaker 1: gonna be like I need to add this to cart, 676 00:40:41,920 --> 00:40:44,759 Speaker 1: Like give me. I'm so excited about it. And let 677 00:40:44,760 --> 00:40:48,080 Speaker 1: me tell you're already like black or the rain in it. 678 00:40:48,280 --> 00:40:51,200 Speaker 1: I'm just saying, you know, I mean curious, you're like 679 00:40:53,840 --> 00:40:56,160 Speaker 1: me and you we go together, so we're gonna be 680 00:40:56,239 --> 00:40:59,360 Speaker 1: We're gonna be weaved into all of one another's projects. 681 00:40:58,920 --> 00:41:02,920 Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm like, Dee's part of the cohor So 682 00:41:02,920 --> 00:41:06,480 Speaker 1: so the Black of the Brain is a movement, you know, 683 00:41:06,600 --> 00:41:09,120 Speaker 1: And and I had to accept that name. It was 684 00:41:09,160 --> 00:41:11,279 Speaker 1: actually one of our cohort members that described it that way, 685 00:41:11,280 --> 00:41:13,800 Speaker 1: and I was like, that feels like a lot. And 686 00:41:13,840 --> 00:41:15,759 Speaker 1: then I was like, Okay, that's what it is. Right, 687 00:41:15,760 --> 00:41:18,000 Speaker 1: It is a movement. I hear, I hear to talk 688 00:41:18,040 --> 00:41:19,560 Speaker 1: in that a little bit. The black are the very 689 00:41:21,400 --> 00:41:25,520 Speaker 1: right exactly. It's totally influenced, right, And so um it's 690 00:41:25,520 --> 00:41:29,880 Speaker 1: a conversation, an ongoing conversation. We have a cohort and 691 00:41:29,920 --> 00:41:32,920 Speaker 1: we have um a campaign. Right. So the campaign is 692 00:41:32,960 --> 00:41:35,319 Speaker 1: this part of just like building awareness about what do 693 00:41:35,360 --> 00:41:37,080 Speaker 1: we what do we mean when we say de colonized 694 00:41:37,080 --> 00:41:38,680 Speaker 1: and mental health? What are we talking about? And then 695 00:41:39,040 --> 00:41:41,560 Speaker 1: we use that to engage people into the conversations, which 696 00:41:41,600 --> 00:41:44,279 Speaker 1: are lecture series that you can tap into. We do 697 00:41:44,360 --> 00:41:47,080 Speaker 1: them like once every six weeks. And the next one 698 00:41:47,120 --> 00:41:49,279 Speaker 1: we have coming up it's called Free to Heal, which 699 00:41:49,320 --> 00:41:51,560 Speaker 1: is like the practices. What would it look like to 700 00:41:52,080 --> 00:41:56,000 Speaker 1: decolonize um all your practices. Now here's the thing what 701 00:41:56,120 --> 00:41:58,160 Speaker 1: I love, love, love about the Black of the Brain. 702 00:41:58,200 --> 00:42:00,439 Speaker 1: The first thing about it is it's not just about 703 00:42:00,480 --> 00:42:02,759 Speaker 1: mental health, even though it's called the Black of the Brain. 704 00:42:02,800 --> 00:42:07,960 Speaker 1: It's interdisciplinary. We have teachers, educators, professors, physicians, people in tech. 705 00:42:08,440 --> 00:42:12,520 Speaker 1: Our cohort is so amazing because what mental health is everywhere. 706 00:42:12,760 --> 00:42:14,560 Speaker 1: If you work at a grocery store, I would love 707 00:42:14,600 --> 00:42:15,640 Speaker 1: for you to be a part of the Black of 708 00:42:15,719 --> 00:42:19,800 Speaker 1: the Brain because how persons treated in customer service impacts 709 00:42:19,840 --> 00:42:22,080 Speaker 1: their mental health there. I can't think of a single 710 00:42:22,280 --> 00:42:24,920 Speaker 1: area or person that could be left out of this conversation. 711 00:42:24,920 --> 00:42:27,560 Speaker 1: And the more we get people from these different spaces, 712 00:42:27,560 --> 00:42:32,160 Speaker 1: the more beautiful it becomes. And so the cohort is interdisciplinary, 713 00:42:32,480 --> 00:42:38,600 Speaker 1: multi racial, multi ethnic, multi identities. We have such a 714 00:42:38,680 --> 00:42:41,720 Speaker 1: good time because we are joy centered in our work 715 00:42:42,680 --> 00:42:45,000 Speaker 1: and we're badass about it, like you can be both right, 716 00:42:45,000 --> 00:42:47,680 Speaker 1: like you could be you know, joy is are metric 717 00:42:47,760 --> 00:42:51,120 Speaker 1: as we're creating these concepts and these ideas about how 718 00:42:51,160 --> 00:42:53,160 Speaker 1: can we create a plan for families who have a 719 00:42:53,239 --> 00:42:55,920 Speaker 1: person in their families suffering from mental health illness so 720 00:42:55,920 --> 00:42:58,160 Speaker 1: that they don't have to call the police and run 721 00:42:58,160 --> 00:43:01,359 Speaker 1: that risk as a black body. Right, we're creating that, 722 00:43:01,400 --> 00:43:04,720 Speaker 1: but we're centering joy in that process so that everything 723 00:43:04,760 --> 00:43:08,440 Speaker 1: we produce brings joy and power to the people who 724 00:43:08,440 --> 00:43:12,000 Speaker 1: are using these tools and these strategies. Um. So it's 725 00:43:12,040 --> 00:43:16,160 Speaker 1: it's expensive. Like I just feel like next year, with 726 00:43:16,200 --> 00:43:23,279 Speaker 1: this group that we have, you're going to see like documentation, presentations, curriculum, Um, 727 00:43:23,320 --> 00:43:26,359 Speaker 1: you're gonna see mentorship. But we're working with new our 728 00:43:26,440 --> 00:43:28,480 Speaker 1: new little therapy babies who are coming up through the 729 00:43:28,480 --> 00:43:32,360 Speaker 1: grad programs. We're gonna catch them early, decolonize them earlier. 730 00:43:32,600 --> 00:43:35,280 Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. It's it's just it's everything. 731 00:43:35,360 --> 00:43:37,480 Speaker 1: It's so beautiful. It's like my favorite thing to talk 732 00:43:37,520 --> 00:43:40,880 Speaker 1: about right now. I love it. I love it, love it, 733 00:43:40,920 --> 00:43:43,680 Speaker 1: love it, love it. Please guys, And I put this 734 00:43:43,760 --> 00:43:45,920 Speaker 1: at the beginning of the show, But you gotta connect 735 00:43:45,920 --> 00:43:48,080 Speaker 1: with the like you got ahead to your Instagram, you 736 00:43:48,160 --> 00:43:51,399 Speaker 1: got ahead to your website, talk to me about joy. 737 00:43:51,640 --> 00:43:55,080 Speaker 1: Let's talk about healing with joy. So top of the show, 738 00:43:55,160 --> 00:43:59,920 Speaker 1: I shared some of my experiences with really expanding my 739 00:44:00,120 --> 00:44:02,879 Speaker 1: capacity for joy, and the way that I really did 740 00:44:02,920 --> 00:44:06,879 Speaker 1: that was by leaning into the tiny joys of every day, 741 00:44:06,880 --> 00:44:10,360 Speaker 1: in each moment, and so feeling deep gratitude and presence 742 00:44:10,400 --> 00:44:13,880 Speaker 1: and anchoring in you know, when the sun hits my skin, 743 00:44:14,239 --> 00:44:18,000 Speaker 1: or you know, catching um, being able to like look 744 00:44:18,040 --> 00:44:20,600 Speaker 1: my son in his eyes and you know, smile at 745 00:44:20,640 --> 00:44:23,760 Speaker 1: one another, or all of the moments that are not grand. 746 00:44:23,880 --> 00:44:27,280 Speaker 1: I think so often we think, oh, joy, that sounds big, 747 00:44:27,320 --> 00:44:30,200 Speaker 1: that actually maybe sounds bigger than happy, and so that 748 00:44:30,239 --> 00:44:34,120 Speaker 1: means like you know, like a three day stay at Disneyland, 749 00:44:34,239 --> 00:44:38,399 Speaker 1: or that means you know, some giant celebration or and 750 00:44:38,520 --> 00:44:43,760 Speaker 1: joy is for me that that deep aboding and that embodiment. Um, 751 00:44:44,040 --> 00:44:47,239 Speaker 1: So talk to me, how does one number one heal 752 00:44:47,360 --> 00:44:51,160 Speaker 1: through joy? But number two, if joy is not even 753 00:44:51,280 --> 00:44:56,000 Speaker 1: in your emotional rolodex, if it's not in your mental rolodex, 754 00:44:56,360 --> 00:44:59,960 Speaker 1: how does one begin to court joy, to flirt with joy, 755 00:45:00,120 --> 00:45:03,719 Speaker 1: to invite joy in? You know, I don't even I'm 756 00:45:03,719 --> 00:45:06,160 Speaker 1: trying to think where do we begin with this? Because 757 00:45:06,960 --> 00:45:13,120 Speaker 1: joy is so expensive to me. Um, So I'll there's two. 758 00:45:14,120 --> 00:45:18,000 Speaker 1: There's so many things. Okay, joy is healing, Joy is transformational, 759 00:45:18,320 --> 00:45:22,480 Speaker 1: and joy is a metric. So joy is healing is 760 00:45:23,480 --> 00:45:26,360 Speaker 1: really important for us to discuss when we're talking to 761 00:45:26,400 --> 00:45:32,359 Speaker 1: bipop communities who have weaved the story of struggle into 762 00:45:33,000 --> 00:45:40,240 Speaker 1: their story of resilience, because they we tend to remember 763 00:45:40,880 --> 00:45:44,520 Speaker 1: the harder things more than we remember the beautiful things. 764 00:45:45,520 --> 00:45:49,239 Speaker 1: And at times, even in the hard things, it were 765 00:45:49,239 --> 00:45:52,439 Speaker 1: these small, beautiful things that sustained us. But let's talk 766 00:45:52,480 --> 00:45:54,560 Speaker 1: about that for a quick second. If we're in the 767 00:45:54,640 --> 00:45:58,000 Speaker 1: midle of all this hard stuff and this one beautiful 768 00:45:58,040 --> 00:46:00,400 Speaker 1: thing was enough to sustain us, that actually means that 769 00:46:00,440 --> 00:46:04,399 Speaker 1: the beautiful thing was more powerful, so powerful that it 770 00:46:04,480 --> 00:46:07,160 Speaker 1: was not even necessary to have a large dose of 771 00:46:07,239 --> 00:46:10,839 Speaker 1: it to even sustain your generation or the generation that 772 00:46:10,880 --> 00:46:13,759 Speaker 1: came after you. So the joy is that takes me 773 00:46:13,800 --> 00:46:17,759 Speaker 1: to joy is transformational. It's a very powerful tool. It's 774 00:46:17,800 --> 00:46:22,120 Speaker 1: a very powerful weapon, right. It's it's something that you 775 00:46:22,360 --> 00:46:25,560 Speaker 1: don't need to have in large doses in order to 776 00:46:25,640 --> 00:46:29,680 Speaker 1: maintain and sustain a brilliant, beautiful life. But you have 777 00:46:29,760 --> 00:46:33,759 Speaker 1: permission to access larger doses if you want to. And 778 00:46:33,840 --> 00:46:36,319 Speaker 1: the key for most people, like you're saying is we 779 00:46:36,360 --> 00:46:39,160 Speaker 1: have been again, even thinking about mental health, even thinking 780 00:46:39,160 --> 00:46:42,000 Speaker 1: about our school systems, even thinking about our workplaces. Their 781 00:46:42,080 --> 00:46:46,440 Speaker 1: conditioned to look at problems. They're not conditioned to identify 782 00:46:46,480 --> 00:46:49,000 Speaker 1: what makes me happy, what feels good. They're not conditioned 783 00:46:49,000 --> 00:46:52,960 Speaker 1: towards embodiment. They're not conditioned towards healthy relationships with bodies. 784 00:46:53,440 --> 00:46:57,120 Speaker 1: So enjoy, you really experienced joy first in your body. 785 00:46:57,680 --> 00:47:01,399 Speaker 1: So joy requires a relationship with your body, because then 786 00:47:01,480 --> 00:47:05,880 Speaker 1: you feel you see what I'm saying that that now 787 00:47:06,040 --> 00:47:09,160 Speaker 1: taking back to going back to people who have been disenfranchised, 788 00:47:09,719 --> 00:47:12,640 Speaker 1: who couldn't own their own bodies, and speaking to the 789 00:47:12,680 --> 00:47:15,520 Speaker 1: point you made earlier too about being in yoga or 790 00:47:15,560 --> 00:47:18,560 Speaker 1: being you know, I would I would leave meditations early 791 00:47:18,640 --> 00:47:21,319 Speaker 1: and early in in that piece in my career, and 792 00:47:21,360 --> 00:47:23,000 Speaker 1: I would go into a room and I'd say, all right, 793 00:47:23,040 --> 00:47:26,360 Speaker 1: let's gently close our eyes, and no one could close 794 00:47:26,400 --> 00:47:28,680 Speaker 1: their eyes. They'd be no one could close their staring 795 00:47:28,719 --> 00:47:32,680 Speaker 1: at me, you know, just in what felt like terror 796 00:47:32,719 --> 00:47:35,759 Speaker 1: almost because when you close your eyes, you're inside of 797 00:47:35,800 --> 00:47:39,440 Speaker 1: yourself and you're vulnerable, and you don't necessarily feel safe 798 00:47:39,600 --> 00:47:42,440 Speaker 1: in you, And so to that point, I thought that 799 00:47:42,520 --> 00:47:46,080 Speaker 1: was just an incredible illustration of how deep that goes, 800 00:47:46,239 --> 00:47:49,560 Speaker 1: how how robbed we have been of joy and of 801 00:47:49,640 --> 00:47:52,360 Speaker 1: even knowing how to access it, how foreign it feels. 802 00:47:53,320 --> 00:47:55,799 Speaker 1: Absolutely we have to so in order to access joy, 803 00:47:55,840 --> 00:47:58,640 Speaker 1: we have to reclaim our DNA, and in order to 804 00:47:58,680 --> 00:48:02,440 Speaker 1: reclaim our DNA, we have to reclaim our bodies and 805 00:48:02,480 --> 00:48:05,680 Speaker 1: are in every cell. And I do love the practice 806 00:48:05,719 --> 00:48:08,799 Speaker 1: of yoga, especially when practice theory colonized lens, because it 807 00:48:08,880 --> 00:48:11,640 Speaker 1: does just that, it creates its embodiment. I love the 808 00:48:11,680 --> 00:48:14,239 Speaker 1: practice of dance because it does that. I love the 809 00:48:14,239 --> 00:48:17,000 Speaker 1: practice of reiki because it does that. I love massage. 810 00:48:17,040 --> 00:48:20,440 Speaker 1: There all these things say it's safe to return to 811 00:48:20,480 --> 00:48:23,640 Speaker 1: your body. We know that trauma sort of pushes you 812 00:48:23,640 --> 00:48:26,480 Speaker 1: out of your body, rejects you from your body, and 813 00:48:26,520 --> 00:48:29,399 Speaker 1: when it's happening repeatedly, you just find a new home 814 00:48:29,560 --> 00:48:33,600 Speaker 1: outside of your own body for safety reasons. Hold sit 815 00:48:33,640 --> 00:48:35,840 Speaker 1: there for a second, Hold on, hold on, hold on, 816 00:48:37,080 --> 00:48:41,560 Speaker 1: mm hmm. What does that mean? Unpack that? Please? Yeah? 817 00:48:41,680 --> 00:48:44,000 Speaker 1: I think what it means is like we when we 818 00:48:44,040 --> 00:48:48,120 Speaker 1: talk about systemic oppression, and I hope, no matter who 819 00:48:48,120 --> 00:48:53,920 Speaker 1: wins this election, we must continue to now pay attention 820 00:48:53,960 --> 00:48:57,319 Speaker 1: to Can we now look at the true effects of 821 00:48:57,400 --> 00:49:01,120 Speaker 1: this thing called racism, of this thing called slavery, because 822 00:49:01,120 --> 00:49:06,000 Speaker 1: what it means is that for centuries black people weren't 823 00:49:06,040 --> 00:49:08,920 Speaker 1: just forced to flee and be away from their homes. 824 00:49:09,239 --> 00:49:12,520 Speaker 1: They were forced to flee their bodies, which were their homes. 825 00:49:12,920 --> 00:49:17,080 Speaker 1: And now their home is this somewhere in the mind, 826 00:49:17,320 --> 00:49:21,640 Speaker 1: which isn't a place of their own construction, right, And 827 00:49:21,719 --> 00:49:25,160 Speaker 1: so there's this this idea that if I go back 828 00:49:25,160 --> 00:49:27,080 Speaker 1: into my body, I have to feel not just my 829 00:49:27,160 --> 00:49:30,719 Speaker 1: pain but my great great grandmother's pain. I have to 830 00:49:30,760 --> 00:49:32,799 Speaker 1: feel not just my pain, but I have to feel 831 00:49:32,800 --> 00:49:36,400 Speaker 1: Emmett tells mother's pain. I have to feel um, you know, 832 00:49:36,400 --> 00:49:39,960 Speaker 1: Trayvon Martin's Sabrina Volts. I have to feel all these 833 00:49:40,080 --> 00:49:43,000 Speaker 1: this pain. So why do that? Why be in my body? 834 00:49:43,040 --> 00:49:46,480 Speaker 1: And then when we look at health outcomes and we 835 00:49:46,600 --> 00:49:48,560 Speaker 1: try to say, well, don't eat this and don't do that. 836 00:49:49,040 --> 00:49:52,800 Speaker 1: I don't even feel when I'm full. I don't even 837 00:49:52,880 --> 00:49:55,000 Speaker 1: know what it feels like in my body to have 838 00:49:55,080 --> 00:49:59,319 Speaker 1: high blood pressure because I'm not there. It's safer to 839 00:49:59,360 --> 00:50:01,839 Speaker 1: not be there. When I'm there, people are staring at 840 00:50:01,880 --> 00:50:04,120 Speaker 1: me when I'm there. People are assuming things about me 841 00:50:04,280 --> 00:50:06,799 Speaker 1: when I'm but to turn that off just to be 842 00:50:06,880 --> 00:50:09,719 Speaker 1: able to continue to function in a racist society. That 843 00:50:10,000 --> 00:50:13,680 Speaker 1: is a sickness that we have created, that has been 844 00:50:13,719 --> 00:50:17,000 Speaker 1: created that is man made right, which means we can 845 00:50:17,040 --> 00:50:21,719 Speaker 1: repair it. And so I start by helping people with embodiment. 846 00:50:21,880 --> 00:50:25,360 Speaker 1: I don't think you can do decolonized mental health without 847 00:50:25,400 --> 00:50:28,759 Speaker 1: working with embodiment practitioners, which we have many in the 848 00:50:28,800 --> 00:50:32,879 Speaker 1: black or the brain, because it's something about saying, even 849 00:50:32,920 --> 00:50:35,600 Speaker 1: if you don't deem your body safe yet, is not 850 00:50:35,600 --> 00:50:38,920 Speaker 1: not safe because of you. It's not safe because of 851 00:50:38,960 --> 00:50:42,040 Speaker 1: what's happening outside of you. And so you deserve to 852 00:50:42,160 --> 00:50:46,000 Speaker 1: occupy your space because it is not your body's fault 853 00:50:46,120 --> 00:50:48,839 Speaker 1: that it's not deemed a safe place. And the only 854 00:50:48,880 --> 00:50:51,760 Speaker 1: way we're gonna get it to move to a safer 855 00:50:51,840 --> 00:50:55,440 Speaker 1: place is if you feel empowered enough to inhabit it 856 00:50:56,280 --> 00:50:59,800 Speaker 1: and then to demand while you're in it pleasure and joy. 857 00:51:00,480 --> 00:51:04,480 Speaker 1: And that is liberation. That is libration, and it can 858 00:51:04,520 --> 00:51:09,360 Speaker 1: happen if you are anywhere at any given time, but 859 00:51:09,440 --> 00:51:14,160 Speaker 1: it begins with that return um. And so sometimes I 860 00:51:14,239 --> 00:51:16,440 Speaker 1: use food with people to help them slow down and 861 00:51:17,040 --> 00:51:19,719 Speaker 1: catch that. But usually what I do is use joy 862 00:51:19,760 --> 00:51:22,279 Speaker 1: as a metric. So I will say, joy is that 863 00:51:22,360 --> 00:51:27,000 Speaker 1: feeling you get when everything is like really clear, right, 864 00:51:27,120 --> 00:51:30,680 Speaker 1: It's like who you just feel this perfect alignment. It's 865 00:51:30,719 --> 00:51:34,440 Speaker 1: like almost floating. And we we do get moments of that, 866 00:51:34,480 --> 00:51:37,759 Speaker 1: but we move through it so quickly because we're not 867 00:51:37,840 --> 00:51:41,640 Speaker 1: embodied that we don't sustain that feeling of joy, and 868 00:51:41,640 --> 00:51:43,080 Speaker 1: we don't know what it means. We don't know that 869 00:51:43,120 --> 00:51:45,160 Speaker 1: we have the power to stretch it out or to 870 00:51:45,239 --> 00:51:49,879 Speaker 1: make it a lifestyle. And so it's I tell them when. 871 00:51:50,280 --> 00:51:52,359 Speaker 1: And so what they do know, though, how you can 872 00:51:52,400 --> 00:51:55,520 Speaker 1: teach them about joy and their bodies real quick is um, 873 00:51:56,120 --> 00:51:58,960 Speaker 1: they know what they know what discomfort feels like. They're 874 00:51:59,040 --> 00:52:01,520 Speaker 1: very used to that, right. So what I'll do is 875 00:52:01,520 --> 00:52:06,560 Speaker 1: tell them and I learned this exercise working with restorative Justice. Um, 876 00:52:06,800 --> 00:52:10,160 Speaker 1: hold a note in your body while nodding yes, and 877 00:52:10,200 --> 00:52:13,200 Speaker 1: then holding yes in your body while nodding no. That 878 00:52:13,360 --> 00:52:18,040 Speaker 1: incongruence that you feel that is the opposite of joy. 879 00:52:19,040 --> 00:52:23,160 Speaker 1: Right the second, everybody listening, I want you to gently 880 00:52:23,160 --> 00:52:26,680 Speaker 1: close your eyes if it's safe where you are, take 881 00:52:26,680 --> 00:52:31,800 Speaker 1: a breath in through your nose, hold it at the top, 882 00:52:32,960 --> 00:52:40,239 Speaker 1: and let's exhale through our mouths. And let's do that 883 00:52:40,280 --> 00:52:42,080 Speaker 1: one more time. We're gonna take a deep breath in, 884 00:52:42,320 --> 00:52:44,719 Speaker 1: hold it at the top, exhale to the mouth, breath in. 885 00:52:53,640 --> 00:52:57,160 Speaker 1: Now with your eyes still gently closed, I want you 886 00:52:57,320 --> 00:53:03,000 Speaker 1: to think and connect to the feeling of no. So first, 887 00:53:03,080 --> 00:53:07,120 Speaker 1: let's just think and connect to say no inside of ourselves. 888 00:53:07,880 --> 00:53:10,719 Speaker 1: And as we're saying no inside of ourselves, let's not 889 00:53:10,920 --> 00:53:20,800 Speaker 1: our head yes mm hmm. Now let's clear that energy 890 00:53:20,840 --> 00:53:23,800 Speaker 1: out and I want you to say yes inside of yourself. 891 00:53:23,840 --> 00:53:28,399 Speaker 1: I want you to feel enthusiastic about this. Yes. It's 892 00:53:28,440 --> 00:53:35,200 Speaker 1: like yes, yes, yes, say that inside the deepest place possible. Yes. 893 00:53:36,360 --> 00:53:40,040 Speaker 1: And as you're feeling that yes and saying yes, enthusiastically 894 00:53:40,120 --> 00:53:49,480 Speaker 1: shake your head no. Bea describe for everyone what they're 895 00:53:49,520 --> 00:53:55,320 Speaker 1: feeling when they do that. What is that feeling of disalignment? 896 00:53:58,680 --> 00:54:01,200 Speaker 1: When I've done this with people? And thank you so 897 00:54:01,280 --> 00:54:03,480 Speaker 1: much for beautifully leading us through that. I love that. 898 00:54:03,640 --> 00:54:09,520 Speaker 1: And gently open your eyes everyone, thank you. Um When 899 00:54:09,600 --> 00:54:11,640 Speaker 1: they do they when they have the yes in their 900 00:54:11,680 --> 00:54:14,880 Speaker 1: body and they're not even know it feels like a silliness, 901 00:54:15,000 --> 00:54:17,600 Speaker 1: like it it's more like, oh, that's silly. Why would 902 00:54:17,640 --> 00:54:20,040 Speaker 1: I say no when I want to say yes? It's 903 00:54:20,120 --> 00:54:22,680 Speaker 1: kind of it's a little lighter than the energy of 904 00:54:22,719 --> 00:54:26,279 Speaker 1: holding the no and saying yes. That feels heavier, That 905 00:54:26,320 --> 00:54:30,800 Speaker 1: feels a little bit more harsh. And I tell people 906 00:54:31,600 --> 00:54:37,080 Speaker 1: that's your ancestors, because what I don't want them to 907 00:54:37,160 --> 00:54:40,400 Speaker 1: create too. I don't I'm trying to rewire this negative 908 00:54:40,400 --> 00:54:45,680 Speaker 1: relationship with hard feelings in the body. If I label 909 00:54:45,719 --> 00:54:49,000 Speaker 1: it anxiety, depression, trauma, then they're going to run from it. 910 00:54:49,000 --> 00:54:51,080 Speaker 1: But if I say, what if that's your ancestors saying 911 00:54:51,360 --> 00:54:54,279 Speaker 1: where are you going? Why are you saying guest to 912 00:54:54,360 --> 00:54:58,040 Speaker 1: something you clearly don't want to do, then it's a relationship. 913 00:54:58,120 --> 00:55:04,719 Speaker 1: Then it's loving, right, And so that healthy boundaries and 914 00:55:04,800 --> 00:55:08,360 Speaker 1: what that is how to set those boundaries for yourself. Yeah, 915 00:55:08,520 --> 00:55:11,160 Speaker 1: And that's how you work your relationship with with the 916 00:55:11,200 --> 00:55:14,040 Speaker 1: hard things. That the hard things aren't things that we 917 00:55:14,120 --> 00:55:16,480 Speaker 1: run from. Their things that are giving us signals too. 918 00:55:16,800 --> 00:55:18,960 Speaker 1: They're telling us, just like Joyce as hot, you found 919 00:55:18,960 --> 00:55:21,320 Speaker 1: the right spot, but we couldn't find the right spot 920 00:55:21,680 --> 00:55:24,319 Speaker 1: if we didn't have that discomfort telling us this is 921 00:55:24,320 --> 00:55:27,960 Speaker 1: not the right spot. Right, they're not opposites. They're working 922 00:55:28,000 --> 00:55:30,800 Speaker 1: together to lead us where we should be. And so 923 00:55:31,200 --> 00:55:33,759 Speaker 1: that joy is the finding that spot. But it takes 924 00:55:33,760 --> 00:55:36,919 Speaker 1: a discomfort sometimes to move us and nudge us there. 925 00:55:37,280 --> 00:55:39,279 Speaker 1: And if we if we judge that, if we have 926 00:55:39,320 --> 00:55:42,239 Speaker 1: a judgment against what that feeling is, and we shut 927 00:55:42,320 --> 00:55:45,239 Speaker 1: down and we deem it unsafe, then we will not 928 00:55:46,120 --> 00:55:48,000 Speaker 1: be able to use it to move us to where 929 00:55:48,040 --> 00:55:50,439 Speaker 1: we should be. And then we can start using joy 930 00:55:50,480 --> 00:55:52,919 Speaker 1: as a metric. So now when we're not feeling joy, 931 00:55:53,239 --> 00:55:57,040 Speaker 1: we know we're not in the right spot, right, and 932 00:55:57,080 --> 00:56:01,160 Speaker 1: then we can decide moment by moment how to line 933 00:56:01,160 --> 00:56:04,239 Speaker 1: ourselves up so that so and when I run into 934 00:56:04,239 --> 00:56:06,319 Speaker 1: spaces that I've created in joy, but then I have 935 00:56:06,360 --> 00:56:09,799 Speaker 1: a moment of discomfort, I'm like, well, wait a minute. First, 936 00:56:09,880 --> 00:56:12,880 Speaker 1: let me check that I accidentally let white supremacy, capitalism 937 00:56:12,920 --> 00:56:14,800 Speaker 1: or patriarchy in the room, because I might have it 938 00:56:14,880 --> 00:56:17,440 Speaker 1: might have snuck in, right, So let me check for 939 00:56:17,560 --> 00:56:20,799 Speaker 1: that first. The other thing is I may be limiting 940 00:56:21,200 --> 00:56:24,239 Speaker 1: how I'm looking at a situation which is also a 941 00:56:24,280 --> 00:56:28,080 Speaker 1: byproduct of white supremacy, capitalism and patriarchy. Right, I may 942 00:56:28,080 --> 00:56:30,799 Speaker 1: be saying, oh, only these solutions are possible. So it's 943 00:56:30,800 --> 00:56:33,799 Speaker 1: a call to my creativity. You know that that lack 944 00:56:33,840 --> 00:56:36,960 Speaker 1: of joy means, oh, be more creative, make something up, 945 00:56:37,360 --> 00:56:41,440 Speaker 1: try something new. All of those nudges are super helpful 946 00:56:41,520 --> 00:56:43,960 Speaker 1: and if we use joy as a metric, we can 947 00:56:44,160 --> 00:56:48,080 Speaker 1: build a life. And I promise you this that literally 948 00:56:48,480 --> 00:56:53,239 Speaker 1: is joyful. And when it's not, it's not because we're 949 00:56:53,280 --> 00:56:57,440 Speaker 1: doing something wrong. It's just information that our ancestors are 950 00:56:57,440 --> 00:57:01,560 Speaker 1: bringing us to, not just towards the joy. That's incredible. Yeah. 951 00:57:01,520 --> 00:57:04,440 Speaker 1: I hate to do this because I know I want 952 00:57:04,480 --> 00:57:07,360 Speaker 1: to talk here the whole time. UM, but I so 953 00:57:07,520 --> 00:57:10,120 Speaker 1: I haven't asked of you, but first, UM, please let 954 00:57:10,200 --> 00:57:13,840 Speaker 1: everyone know how they can connect with you. Absolutely sure. UM. 955 00:57:13,880 --> 00:57:17,120 Speaker 1: So my company is called Marley I O M A 956 00:57:17,400 --> 00:57:20,320 Speaker 1: r l E y a y o ay oh means 957 00:57:20,440 --> 00:57:24,560 Speaker 1: joy in uraba. So um that has information on the 958 00:57:24,560 --> 00:57:26,960 Speaker 1: black or the brain. That is information on all the 959 00:57:26,960 --> 00:57:30,040 Speaker 1: things are our company is working on. Um. I'm on 960 00:57:30,080 --> 00:57:33,360 Speaker 1: Instagram at the amnia at the Black or the Brain 961 00:57:33,360 --> 00:57:35,840 Speaker 1: and there's so many ads right um at Shaping the 962 00:57:35,920 --> 00:57:38,400 Speaker 1: Shift podcast which you can catch up on the episode 963 00:57:38,400 --> 00:57:41,400 Speaker 1: where we had Devvy on. If you like this, you 964 00:57:41,440 --> 00:57:43,080 Speaker 1: can go list and that and get like a double 965 00:57:43,160 --> 00:57:46,360 Speaker 1: dose like part one in part two. Um and so yeah, 966 00:57:46,400 --> 00:57:49,720 Speaker 1: I'm super easily easy to access, and we'll drop all 967 00:57:49,720 --> 00:57:53,040 Speaker 1: the links below in in the posting wherever you are 968 00:57:53,320 --> 00:57:56,440 Speaker 1: catching this show. So as we end the show, I 969 00:57:56,520 --> 00:58:00,560 Speaker 1: love to walk away with everyone having a little soul 970 00:58:00,680 --> 00:58:06,200 Speaker 1: work so in attention that they can connect to uh 971 00:58:06,240 --> 00:58:10,120 Speaker 1: an assignment maybe you know a journal imprompt or some 972 00:58:10,200 --> 00:58:12,800 Speaker 1: tips but for the next week before we get to 973 00:58:12,800 --> 00:58:16,880 Speaker 1: our next episode, the if you would share a little 974 00:58:16,920 --> 00:58:20,800 Speaker 1: soul work that everyone can do to spend this next 975 00:58:20,840 --> 00:58:25,440 Speaker 1: week if you do not connect yet fully to joy 976 00:58:25,960 --> 00:58:29,200 Speaker 1: a little bit of homework of how the audience can 977 00:58:29,280 --> 00:58:33,960 Speaker 1: really begin to taste it mm hmmm. Um. One, I 978 00:58:34,000 --> 00:58:38,360 Speaker 1: would say, replay that meditation that Devi just led you through, 979 00:58:38,600 --> 00:58:42,720 Speaker 1: because it's a great um way to get accustomed to 980 00:58:42,760 --> 00:58:46,080 Speaker 1: what that feels like in your body. So once you've 981 00:58:46,120 --> 00:58:47,840 Speaker 1: done that a couple of times and you're like, OK, 982 00:58:47,960 --> 00:58:51,520 Speaker 1: I know that feeling. Catch those feelings throughout the day. 983 00:58:51,680 --> 00:58:53,920 Speaker 1: Maybe you're about to wash dishes and the that you 984 00:58:53,960 --> 00:58:56,560 Speaker 1: feel that feeling come up. So then you say when 985 00:58:56,600 --> 00:58:59,080 Speaker 1: you feel the wait a minute, does this bring me joy? 986 00:59:00,240 --> 00:59:03,360 Speaker 1: To do these dishes right now if not give yourself 987 00:59:03,360 --> 00:59:07,160 Speaker 1: permission to not do those dishes. See how that feels, right? 988 00:59:07,280 --> 00:59:10,640 Speaker 1: See what comes up with that? If you decide you 989 00:59:11,200 --> 00:59:13,840 Speaker 1: want to push through the dishes, then that you have 990 00:59:13,920 --> 00:59:17,240 Speaker 1: to do so finding a way to frame it with joy. 991 00:59:17,320 --> 00:59:19,600 Speaker 1: Maybe you're saying, well, I'll wash the dishes even though 992 00:59:19,640 --> 00:59:21,680 Speaker 1: I don't want to because I want to have a 993 00:59:21,720 --> 00:59:23,600 Speaker 1: really great meal with my family later on today. And 994 00:59:23,640 --> 00:59:26,600 Speaker 1: you tap into that joy, right um. But don't move 995 00:59:26,680 --> 00:59:29,800 Speaker 1: forward until you've figured out a way to either frame 996 00:59:29,840 --> 00:59:33,400 Speaker 1: it with joy or giving yourself permission to not do 997 00:59:33,440 --> 00:59:36,840 Speaker 1: it at all, right um. And whenever you feel the 998 00:59:36,880 --> 00:59:40,120 Speaker 1: little that's like you're key, like, oh I'm about to 999 00:59:40,160 --> 00:59:43,120 Speaker 1: engage in something. I'm about to do it, I'm saying, 1000 00:59:43,160 --> 00:59:46,320 Speaker 1: guess when I want to say no? Right um? And 1001 00:59:46,520 --> 00:59:49,800 Speaker 1: practice asking well does this bring me joy? And how 1002 00:59:49,840 --> 00:59:51,520 Speaker 1: can I make it bring me joy? Or how can 1003 00:59:51,560 --> 00:59:53,920 Speaker 1: I just decide I don't want to do this right 1004 00:59:53,960 --> 00:59:56,000 Speaker 1: now because it would not bring me joy? And that 1005 00:59:56,200 --> 01:00:01,440 Speaker 1: is also an exercise and self authorization. A uh yeah, 1006 01:00:01,840 --> 01:00:04,720 Speaker 1: oh that's good. You guys really deepen into that soul 1007 01:00:04,760 --> 01:00:07,320 Speaker 1: work this week until we get to the next episode. 1008 01:00:07,440 --> 01:00:10,600 Speaker 1: Via thank you so much for joining My pleasure. Debbie. 1009 01:00:10,640 --> 01:00:17,600 Speaker 1: Thank you anytime you know, whenever you call, I'm running everyone. 1010 01:00:17,640 --> 01:00:20,040 Speaker 1: Thank you so much for joining us on this episode 1011 01:00:20,040 --> 01:00:22,240 Speaker 1: of the show. And I'll catch you next week. I 1012 01:00:22,320 --> 01:00:29,080 Speaker 1: love you. Hey. Find me on social Let's connect at 1013 01:00:29,280 --> 01:00:32,400 Speaker 1: Debbie Brown. That's Twitter and Instagram, or go to my 1014 01:00:32,440 --> 01:00:36,120 Speaker 1: website Debbie Brown dot com. And if you're listening to 1015 01:00:36,160 --> 01:00:40,600 Speaker 1: the show on Apple Podcasts, please please please don't forget 1016 01:00:40,680 --> 01:00:45,960 Speaker 1: to rate, review, and subscribe and send this episode to 1017 01:00:45,960 --> 01:00:49,160 Speaker 1: a friend. Dropping Jams is the production of I Heart 1018 01:00:49,280 --> 01:00:52,480 Speaker 1: Radio and The Black Effect Network. It's produced by Triple 1019 01:00:52,720 --> 01:00:56,280 Speaker 1: and Me Debbie Brown. For more podcast from My heart Radio, 1020 01:00:56,520 --> 01:00:59,919 Speaker 1: visit the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or We're 1021 01:01:00,040 --> 01:01:01,720 Speaker 1: ever you listen to your favorite shows.