WEBVTT - CZM Book Club: Cool Zone 2055: In Bed With the Dreadnaughts 0:00:01.680 --> 0:00:13.680 Cool Zone Media book Club book Club book Club. Hello 0:00:13.760 --> 0:00:15.680 and welcome to Cool Zone Media book Club, the only 0:00:16.000 --> 0:00:18.520 book club where I do the reading for you and 0:00:18.560 --> 0:00:22.720 sometimes I do the writing for you, like this week. Well, 0:00:23.560 --> 0:00:27.120 this week is yet another episode of Dino Wars, which 0:00:27.200 --> 0:00:29.800 means that we are going to read to. 0:00:29.760 --> 0:00:34.279 You podcasts from the future. That's right, we have been 0:00:34.360 --> 0:00:39.520 sent podcasts from Cool Zone Media twenty fifty five. That's 0:00:39.600 --> 0:00:42.440 thirty years in the future for those of you who 0:00:42.600 --> 0:00:46.000 are in the year twenty twenty five. But then if 0:00:46.040 --> 0:00:49.720 you're listening to this further in the future, it'll be closer. 0:00:50.760 --> 0:00:55.640 That's how numbers work, and time, which marsh is only forward. Anyway, 0:00:56.440 --> 0:01:01.240 here's the episode, Hello and welcome Nicoles on twenty fifty five, 0:01:01.280 --> 0:01:05.480 How to Survive the Dino Wars. I'm your host, Margaret Kiljoy, 0:01:05.520 --> 0:01:09.160 and this week we're bringing you something special. This week 0:01:09.200 --> 0:01:12.480 we're bringing you a report from across the Iron Curtain, 0:01:13.040 --> 0:01:19.120 from inside Nazi occupied Spain from the Catalonian Resistance. It's 0:01:19.200 --> 0:01:22.280 near impossible to get information in and out of curtained 0:01:22.280 --> 0:01:25.319 regions of the world, most of which are under permanent 0:01:25.360 --> 0:01:30.240 conditions of Vishnu shielding. This report then, like I just said, 0:01:31.120 --> 0:01:35.560 is something special. We received it on microfiche, one of 0:01:35.560 --> 0:01:39.200 those technologies that was extinct before I was born. But 0:01:39.600 --> 0:01:42.480 then again, we make use of a lot of technologies 0:01:42.520 --> 0:01:45.600 and animals that were extinct before any of us were born. 0:01:47.240 --> 0:01:51.480 This report was handwritten in code and then photographed and shrunk, 0:01:51.800 --> 0:01:55.320 then tied to the wing of a pigeon. That pigeon 0:01:55.560 --> 0:01:59.920 flew from Barcelona to Toulouse, where partisans recovered it, dkode 0:02:00.200 --> 0:02:02.680 it and then passed along part of it to cool 0:02:02.760 --> 0:02:05.800 Zone Media for us to read it to you. Well, 0:02:06.080 --> 0:02:08.560 there was a lot more information besides what I'll be reading, 0:02:08.840 --> 0:02:12.280 information about troop movements and all of that, but obviously 0:02:12.760 --> 0:02:16.920 that's not for public consumption. That information stayed in to 0:02:17.040 --> 0:02:21.200 lose where partisans are entrenched and holding back the Iberian 0:02:21.240 --> 0:02:26.280 Phalanx at great cost and with great valor. This, then, 0:02:26.720 --> 0:02:30.520 is a report from outside of Barcelona from our own 0:02:30.560 --> 0:02:36.119 anonymous correspondent. As you all are quite aware, cool Zone 0:02:36.160 --> 0:02:39.919 Media works with a number of anonymous correspondents. One of 0:02:39.960 --> 0:02:42.200 our dearest is a person who writes under the name 0:02:42.680 --> 0:02:46.639 Mix Bunny Face Murder. When spelled out of course it's 0:02:46.720 --> 0:02:49.720 just mix and then the bunny face emoji and then 0:02:49.800 --> 0:02:53.360 the dagger emoji. That's how you know they're a zoomer. 0:02:54.639 --> 0:02:58.080 For a while, Mixed Murder would read their own reports 0:02:58.080 --> 0:03:00.760 and we'd run it through a voice changer. But all 0:03:00.800 --> 0:03:03.880 of that changed two years ago when Nazi quantum computers 0:03:03.880 --> 0:03:06.840 starting to be able to decrypt that stuff, and three 0:03:06.840 --> 0:03:10.280 of my friends were killed. I mean a lot more 0:03:10.320 --> 0:03:12.239 than three people were killed, but you know, in a 0:03:12.280 --> 0:03:15.239 time of mass death, you sometimes focus on the ones 0:03:15.360 --> 0:03:19.480 closest to you. Anyway, All of this is to say 0:03:19.520 --> 0:03:22.320 that other hosts, those of us who aren't anonymous, have 0:03:22.400 --> 0:03:26.919 started voicing Mixed bunny Face Murder's work. Of course, one 0:03:26.960 --> 0:03:29.240 of us would have to voice it anyway, because you know, 0:03:29.440 --> 0:03:32.680 it showed up a microfiche, but that's besides the point. 0:03:33.720 --> 0:03:36.840 The show is, of course, more or less family friendly. 0:03:37.320 --> 0:03:39.760 If you want to hear the entire uncensored version of 0:03:39.800 --> 0:03:42.960 the report, with all of Mixed bunny Face Murder's usual 0:03:43.000 --> 0:03:46.560 sexual antics included, you'll have to check out our sister podcast, 0:03:46.920 --> 0:03:50.400 Under the Pants and under the Ground. That episode will 0:03:50.440 --> 0:03:53.040 be out soon. We're arguing in our signal chat right 0:03:53.040 --> 0:03:55.520 now about who gets to record the more explicit version 0:03:55.520 --> 0:04:01.200 of this tale. This report is titled in Bed with 0:04:01.240 --> 0:04:05.680 the Dreadnaughts sixteen weeks in a Catalonian camp, surrounded by 0:04:05.720 --> 0:04:09.480 hotties and brontos, and it's the first reporting any of 0:04:09.520 --> 0:04:12.440 us have gotten out of Eastern Spain in half a year. 0:04:13.760 --> 0:04:17.320 But first, before we get to that, there's one more 0:04:17.360 --> 0:04:20.719 thing I want to talk about. That's right, I want 0:04:20.720 --> 0:04:24.960 to talk about Dino Cadence. Dino'cadence is the academy for 0:04:25.040 --> 0:04:27.039 dino riding, and I'm willing to bet that if you 0:04:27.080 --> 0:04:30.800 can hear this podcast, there is a Dinocadence studio opened 0:04:30.800 --> 0:04:34.479 somewhere near you. Not only are they the fastest growing 0:04:34.520 --> 0:04:37.560 training program for riders and texts, they're also cool Zone 0:04:37.560 --> 0:04:41.039 Media's biggest sponsor. And this week we would like to 0:04:41.040 --> 0:04:44.720 tell listeners that Dinocadence has not forgotten its roots as 0:04:44.720 --> 0:04:48.520 an exotic dinosaur dance troupe. In fact, thanks to all 0:04:48.560 --> 0:04:52.600 of your support, Dinocadence is going on tour. That's right, 0:04:52.839 --> 0:04:56.760 the world's finest burlesque sex show Circus Act is going 0:04:56.839 --> 0:04:59.839 on tour to raise money for the Fight. Look them 0:04:59.920 --> 0:05:01.919 up up on your favorite apps or sites for dates 0:05:02.000 --> 0:05:04.720 or tickets Dinohkaidence would like to remind all listeners that 0:05:04.800 --> 0:05:07.440 while exotic dancers will be performing sexual displays on or 0:05:07.560 --> 0:05:11.320 near dinosaurs, they will not be performing sexual displays with dinosaurs, 0:05:11.520 --> 0:05:13.480 and the audience member who requests such a thing will 0:05:13.480 --> 0:05:19.720 be escorted out immediately, so without further ado. Well, there 0:05:19.760 --> 0:05:22.080 will likely be further ADO during the ad breaks, but 0:05:22.440 --> 0:05:26.520 without immediate further ado. Here is my reading of the 0:05:26.560 --> 0:05:29.800 safe for work ish version of in Bed with the 0:05:29.880 --> 0:05:34.120 Dreadnoughts sixteen weeks in a Catalonian camp surrounded by hotties 0:05:34.200 --> 0:05:41.120 and brontos by mixed bunny face murder. According to the 0:05:41.120 --> 0:05:45.279 twenty fifty four report from Pew Pew Anti Fascist International Polling, 0:05:45.880 --> 0:05:49.480 the number one reason why people join in internationalist army 0:05:49.600 --> 0:05:54.200 or militia is to impress potential romantic or sexual partners 0:05:54.800 --> 0:05:59.120 twenty eight percent of people. This just edges out saving 0:05:59.200 --> 0:06:04.080 humanity from fashism at twenty seven percent, followed by to 0:06:04.160 --> 0:06:07.880 get out of the house twelve percent, and well, I 0:06:07.960 --> 0:06:12.960 was going to die soon anyway eleven percent. Other interesting 0:06:13.000 --> 0:06:16.159 reasons include personal revenge for the death of a loved 0:06:16.200 --> 0:06:20.000 one eight percent, for the glory of the new God 0:06:20.040 --> 0:06:24.359 Shalam Swartzbard point three percent for the glory of the 0:06:24.400 --> 0:06:28.560 old gods point six percent, and I want to know 0:06:28.560 --> 0:06:33.360 what it's like to kill someone point five percent. So 0:06:33.400 --> 0:06:36.400 how did I wind up in Catalonia, trapped behind the 0:06:36.400 --> 0:06:40.000 iron curtain? Wishing I'd known ahead of time that Catalonian 0:06:40.080 --> 0:06:43.960 is a different language than Spanish. Well, I was with 0:06:44.000 --> 0:06:47.839 the plurality. You see. I met this cute SIS girl 0:06:47.920 --> 0:06:50.600 last year when I was reporting on the Internationalist Science 0:06:50.640 --> 0:06:54.160 Convention in San Diego. And for any older listeners, we 0:06:54.200 --> 0:06:57.240 should be clear that I'm using CIS in the ironic 0:06:57.320 --> 0:07:00.599 sense developed by Jen Beans, where if you mark someone 0:07:00.640 --> 0:07:03.080 as SIS when you're actually implying that they might not 0:07:03.200 --> 0:07:05.960 be SIS, but without actually fully disclosing whether or not 0:07:05.960 --> 0:07:09.479 they're SIS or trans, because it's not your business. She 0:07:09.640 --> 0:07:12.720 was with the CNT, the anarcho Syndicalist Union with the 0:07:12.840 --> 0:07:15.440 cute red and Black hats, and she was presenting on 0:07:15.480 --> 0:07:19.200 the impact of sarrotergia like dinosaurs with flippers and shit 0:07:19.240 --> 0:07:23.000 that live in the water on the climate changed warm Mediterranean, 0:07:23.720 --> 0:07:27.040 which is what her doctorate was on. I figured I 0:07:27.080 --> 0:07:29.000 didn't have a chance in hell at impressing her by 0:07:29.080 --> 0:07:32.400 learning how to spell sarrogia and our emails. But maybe 0:07:32.400 --> 0:07:34.920 I could impress her by doing some reporting on the 0:07:34.920 --> 0:07:38.200 Catalonian Front, one of the hottest hot spots in the 0:07:38.240 --> 0:07:42.080 whole world. Three point five. So me and my mediocre 0:07:42.120 --> 0:07:46.240 Spanish packed ourselves into a troop transport carrying Maganesta forces 0:07:46.240 --> 0:07:49.840 from San Diego to Barcelona, and I landed into a 0:07:49.880 --> 0:07:56.960 city transformed. But first you should let yourself be transformed 0:07:57.480 --> 0:08:04.120 by these ads. Do you love true crime? Do you 0:08:04.320 --> 0:08:08.160 love biospawn? From the minds that brought you the hit 0:08:08.280 --> 0:08:12.480 podcast Fucked Up Murders Done by Monsters, comes an all 0:08:12.520 --> 0:08:16.720 news show, Fucked Up Monsters Made by Murderers, the only 0:08:16.880 --> 0:08:21.200 true crime podcast that brings you inside a Nazi biospawn lab, 0:08:21.440 --> 0:08:24.320 with exclusive interviews from some of the top scientists who 0:08:24.360 --> 0:08:28.320 have defected to the internationalist side. Warning the Council for 0:08:28.360 --> 0:08:31.360 Accomplishing the impossible task of engaging in ethical warfare was 0:08:31.480 --> 0:08:34.400 unable to independently verify that all the former Nazi scientists 0:08:34.440 --> 0:08:36.680 interviewed for the show did so of their own free will, 0:08:37.080 --> 0:08:39.439 Some or all of the testimony could have been coerced 0:08:39.480 --> 0:08:42.200 under torture. The Council for accomplishing the impossible task of 0:08:42.200 --> 0:08:44.600 engaging in ethical warfare. Would like to remind listeners that 0:08:44.600 --> 0:08:47.600 testimony coursed under torture is less likely to be accurate 0:08:47.600 --> 0:08:52.480 than testimony produced by repentant ex fascists. You know, times 0:08:52.520 --> 0:08:57.160 sure are tough right now, what with the you know everything, 0:08:57.840 --> 0:09:00.440 and I'm tired of everyone promising them you know how 0:09:00.480 --> 0:09:04.679 to fix everything. That's why I drink Tough Times Tea. 0:09:05.440 --> 0:09:09.480 Tough Times Tea makes absolutely no claims that their products 0:09:09.559 --> 0:09:12.920 offer any medical or psychological benefits. They are not trying 0:09:12.920 --> 0:09:15.199 to tell you that they're going to fix everything. There 0:09:15.280 --> 0:09:19.439 isn't even any caffeine. It might literally just be random 0:09:19.480 --> 0:09:21.800 pine bark they put into little baggies and package of 0:09:21.920 --> 0:09:25.319 cubes and mail to your house because these are tough 0:09:25.360 --> 0:09:28.800 times and tea companies have to sell something, but real 0:09:28.840 --> 0:09:32.200 tea is getting harder to find. Tough Times Tea is 0:09:32.240 --> 0:09:34.640 absolutely just random pine bark collected from the front yard 0:09:34.679 --> 0:09:37.240 of the Sole proprietorship. Independent studies are currently underway to 0:09:37.280 --> 0:09:39.360 determine if Tough Times tea is actually worse for you 0:09:39.440 --> 0:10:03.600 than drinking plain hot water. And we're back. You've heard 0:10:03.640 --> 0:10:06.400 my reports on an Archo Syndicalis Catalonia on this show 0:10:06.440 --> 0:10:10.400 before back before the Iron Curtain fell over the Iberian Peninsula, 0:10:11.000 --> 0:10:13.600 or rather before that curtain extended all the way to 0:10:13.640 --> 0:10:16.800 the eastern coast. You've heard me talk about the black 0:10:16.800 --> 0:10:20.480 and red banners that are just fucking everywhere, hanging from 0:10:20.520 --> 0:10:23.200 every building like it's all the set piece for some 0:10:23.320 --> 0:10:26.400 old movie or something. You've heard me talk about the 0:10:26.440 --> 0:10:29.280 communal meals that are served around the clock for free 0:10:29.440 --> 0:10:33.400 to all comers in seized hotels, where people play music 0:10:33.440 --> 0:10:35.959 and the social life of the city takes place when 0:10:36.000 --> 0:10:39.560 it takes place inside. I showed up in the summer, 0:10:39.720 --> 0:10:41.959 and twenty fifty four was, of course the hottest year 0:10:42.040 --> 0:10:45.719 on record, which isn't a surprise since every year or 0:10:45.720 --> 0:10:49.000 two is the hottest year on record. But anyway, it 0:10:49.080 --> 0:10:51.520 was hot as hell, so most social life took place 0:10:51.520 --> 0:10:55.080 inside because the average day there was over forty degrees. 0:10:55.240 --> 0:10:58.840 That's one hundred and four to you heathens in America. 0:10:59.040 --> 0:11:01.520 You heard me talk about the arrogasaurs that wander the 0:11:01.559 --> 0:11:05.800 streets covered in red and black barting. The aragosaurus has 0:11:05.840 --> 0:11:10.080 become the de facto mascot of Spanish and arcosyndicalism. It's 0:11:10.160 --> 0:11:12.960 named after the province of Aragon, and why did they 0:11:13.000 --> 0:11:17.720 name their mascot after the province of Aragon. Well, all 0:11:17.760 --> 0:11:20.840 throughout the twenty forties, of course, the Iberian Peninsula was 0:11:20.880 --> 0:11:25.320 in revolt. Aragon, Catalonia, and the Bosque Country were, of course, 0:11:25.400 --> 0:11:29.400 three of the most powerful internationalist strongholds, and Aragon declared 0:11:29.400 --> 0:11:33.200 for an arcosyndicalism in twenty forty nine. Well. They also 0:11:33.240 --> 0:11:35.439 declared for it in twenty twenty nine, twenty thirty four, 0:11:35.520 --> 0:11:38.160 twenty thirty seven, twenty forty, twenty forty four, and twenty 0:11:38.160 --> 0:11:40.920 forty eight, But in twenty forty nine it stuck for 0:11:40.960 --> 0:11:44.600 a while. Catalonia and the Bosque Country rushed to follow, 0:11:45.000 --> 0:11:50.000 and the revolts spread. Aragon was also the first to 0:11:50.080 --> 0:11:53.960 fall when the Fascis took Aragon in twenty fifty two. 0:11:54.800 --> 0:11:58.040 They took it heart. Of the one point five million 0:11:58.040 --> 0:12:01.440 people living there, fully four one hundred thousand were killed, 0:12:01.960 --> 0:12:05.200 roughly two hundred thousand joined the fascist forces in another 0:12:05.240 --> 0:12:10.880 five hundred thousand fled to Catalonia. The Battle of Terragoza 0:12:10.960 --> 0:12:14.720 has captured the world's dark imagination, so much so that 0:12:14.800 --> 0:12:17.640 it gave the world a new style of art, the 0:12:17.760 --> 0:12:22.240 dark imagination or just let escura in Spanish. The Dark 0:12:22.240 --> 0:12:26.560 imagination is large scale, often many of the pieces are 0:12:26.600 --> 0:12:29.560 meters on the side. The focuses on the suffering of 0:12:29.600 --> 0:12:33.079 the living at the hands of the biospawn, often using 0:12:33.080 --> 0:12:36.920 the gray scale color scheme from Pablo Picasso's Guernica and 0:12:37.040 --> 0:12:41.320 mixing Cubism with realism. Usually either the primary subject is 0:12:41.360 --> 0:12:44.120 rendered in a Cubist style while the background is more realistic, 0:12:44.960 --> 0:12:49.280 or vice versa. The actual battle, the Battle of Terragoza, 0:12:50.040 --> 0:12:52.080 was quite simply one of the worst things that has 0:12:52.120 --> 0:12:56.439 happened in human history. There have been higher death counts, 0:12:57.280 --> 0:13:01.839 there's been greater malice, but Terragoza was the first city 0:13:01.880 --> 0:13:05.840 of its size to be torn asunder by half mad, screaming, 0:13:06.240 --> 0:13:10.720 tortured hybrid humans. It was the Iberian Phalanx that first 0:13:10.800 --> 0:13:14.959 weaponized biospahn built from humans, and the people of Terragoza 0:13:15.040 --> 0:13:17.720 who did not escape in time were hunted down and 0:13:17.800 --> 0:13:21.320 ripped apart limb from limb, turning the city into a 0:13:21.320 --> 0:13:26.120 surreal landscape of brick and bone. The C Andt's militia, 0:13:26.200 --> 0:13:29.599 bolstered by allies from every left of fascist political persuasion 0:13:29.679 --> 0:13:34.760 from France, Italy and Morocco performed heroically. Within hours of 0:13:34.760 --> 0:13:37.960 the initial onslaught, they shifted their focus from holding the 0:13:38.000 --> 0:13:42.720 city to defending the exodus of its population. Later, captured 0:13:42.720 --> 0:13:48.120 intelligence confirmed their suspicions. The fascists were not attempting to 0:13:48.160 --> 0:13:51.680 capture the city to rule it, nor even to exterminate 0:13:51.720 --> 0:13:55.640 its population. The fascists were attempting to capture the city 0:13:55.760 --> 0:13:58.520 in order to turn it into an open air research prison, 0:13:59.160 --> 0:14:03.280 to perform terrace experiments upon its people, to turn them 0:14:03.280 --> 0:14:09.040 into biospawn. General Alafonsa Bueneventura fell in the fighting in 0:14:09.080 --> 0:14:12.120 a live stream moment that will live forever in our minds, 0:14:12.600 --> 0:14:16.080 she with the rest of her polycule, covered the retreat 0:14:16.160 --> 0:14:20.000 of her soldiers. As the four lovers were swarmed by shriekers, 0:14:20.400 --> 0:14:23.400 She drew out a grenade and they all held hands. 0:14:24.280 --> 0:14:27.520 She shouted something as she pulled the pin. We don't 0:14:27.560 --> 0:14:30.640 know what she said, not really, it was lost to 0:14:30.720 --> 0:14:34.200 the din. Some people looking at her lips, thinks she 0:14:34.280 --> 0:14:40.920 shouted Viva Anarchia. Others believe it was Viva Aragon. You'll 0:14:40.960 --> 0:14:43.640 be shocked to know that people whose primary allegiance is 0:14:43.680 --> 0:14:47.560 to Anarcosyndicalism believe the former, while those who favor Aragonian 0:14:47.600 --> 0:14:52.200 independence as their primary concern believe it was the latter. Certainly, 0:14:52.480 --> 0:14:56.640 Alaphonsa believed in both causes, but Occam's Razor says that 0:14:56.680 --> 0:15:03.240 it was Viva Anarchia, and so it's people fled and 0:15:03.320 --> 0:15:06.400 aragon fell. Why was I telling you all of this? 0:15:07.240 --> 0:15:11.640 Oh right, the dinosaurs. The Aragonosaurus has been the mascot 0:15:11.720 --> 0:15:14.760 of the Iberian Revolution ever since, in memory of the 0:15:14.800 --> 0:15:18.280 wasteland that is now patrolled by fascists. If you ever 0:15:18.280 --> 0:15:21.680 want to flirt with a Spanish revolutionary a little too aggressively, 0:15:22.280 --> 0:15:25.320 just at the edge of actually insulting them, call the 0:15:25.360 --> 0:15:29.480 Aragonosaurus a brontosaurus. In English, we pretty much call anything 0:15:29.520 --> 0:15:31.440 with four legs and a tiny head and a long 0:15:31.520 --> 0:15:38.560 neck a bronto, But in Catalonia that's blasphemy. I spent 0:15:38.680 --> 0:15:42.600 months living in and reporting on Barcelona. The revolution had 0:15:42.640 --> 0:15:45.880 a sort of carnival air as social barriers broke down 0:15:45.880 --> 0:15:49.840 and everyone became friends, comrades, and lovers. I never saw 0:15:49.840 --> 0:15:53.840 my marine palaeontologist's friend again. Sadly, I've heard she's probably 0:15:53.880 --> 0:15:56.480 in Italy now continuing her research in a place not 0:15:56.680 --> 0:16:00.200 under such dire threat. The aquatic dinosaur support we get 0:16:00.280 --> 0:16:04.000 here even under blockade has certainly been essential, so I'm 0:16:04.000 --> 0:16:07.800 grateful to her, But that hasn't stopped me from well 0:16:08.640 --> 0:16:11.800 joining in the festivities, so to speak. For the first 0:16:11.840 --> 0:16:13.600 month or so I was there, I lived with a 0:16:13.600 --> 0:16:16.520 polycule of internationals and a building that was squatted even 0:16:16.560 --> 0:16:19.880 before property was collectivized in the city. I had some 0:16:19.960 --> 0:16:22.840 good times with them, but I'm not really built for 0:16:22.960 --> 0:16:26.560 polycule life. There are so many nights you don't want 0:16:26.560 --> 0:16:29.600 to play Warhammer forty k and I found myself out 0:16:29.640 --> 0:16:32.200 at the bars looking for something a bit more novel. 0:16:33.320 --> 0:16:35.640 But I bet Margaret wants to do a family friendly 0:16:35.680 --> 0:16:39.840 of this report. Yes, yes, I do, so. I won't 0:16:39.840 --> 0:16:42.480 get into too much detail about all of that just here, 0:16:43.040 --> 0:16:45.480 But what I bet Margaret does want to do is 0:16:45.520 --> 0:16:48.120 cynically transition to ads in the middle of this important 0:16:48.160 --> 0:16:55.240 update about world affairs. Sure I'd love to. This podcast 0:16:55.320 --> 0:16:58.720 is proudly sponsored by the International Rice Harvesters Union. Are 0:16:58.720 --> 0:17:02.000 you a rice harvester? Statistically an awful lot of you 0:17:02.040 --> 0:17:06.200 are and a growing number two Try joining a labor union. 0:17:06.480 --> 0:17:09.840 It's nice there are songs you get paid more. The 0:17:09.920 --> 0:17:12.679 International Rice Harvesters Union would also like to say to 0:17:12.720 --> 0:17:16.600 all workers everywhere, join a union, just not ours. It's 0:17:16.600 --> 0:17:21.920 for rice harvesters. This podcast is sponsored by Maggot Meat, 0:17:22.080 --> 0:17:25.120 the only meat substitute made out of maggots. It's chalk 0:17:25.160 --> 0:17:29.960 full of protein and maggots. Yum yum, gets some maggot meat. 0:17:31.760 --> 0:17:34.800 This podcast is sponsored by the Concept of Potatoes. That's right, 0:17:35.119 --> 0:17:37.640 after thirty some years, we finally got someone to give 0:17:37.680 --> 0:17:40.919 us money to talk about potatoes. Potatoes are good. You 0:17:40.920 --> 0:17:44.240 can grow them at home. You probably should grow them 0:17:44.280 --> 0:17:47.119 at home because food shortages are a constant source of 0:17:47.160 --> 0:17:52.200 suffering across the world. Grow your own survival garden with potatoes, 0:18:09.920 --> 0:18:16.280 and we're back. During the day, I studied the anarcho 0:18:16.359 --> 0:18:20.000 syndicalist movement, and I talked to its organizers about lessons 0:18:20.000 --> 0:18:22.199 they've learned and what they wanted the rest of the 0:18:22.200 --> 0:18:25.159 world to know. If I survive all of this, I 0:18:25.240 --> 0:18:28.600 might turn that into a book. There's a big if 0:18:28.720 --> 0:18:32.399 there about the surviving all of this. Ever since the 0:18:32.440 --> 0:18:35.959 Phalanx took Aragon, the demons of Hell have been at 0:18:36.000 --> 0:18:39.800 our door. The Vishnu shields went up, and they've stayed 0:18:39.880 --> 0:18:45.040 up because force equalization favors the defender. The exodus or 0:18:45.200 --> 0:18:50.000 lepikina ritorata. The little retreat happened a couple months ago. Now. 0:18:50.680 --> 0:18:55.359 It was a beautiful action, performed perfectly. The Mediterranean was 0:18:55.400 --> 0:18:59.639 swarming with biospahn, horrid murrhman creatures and zombie sharks and 0:18:59.720 --> 0:19:04.480 just some of the worst things imaginable, Pleaseeosaur riders and 0:19:04.520 --> 0:19:07.840 the CNT Navy, alongside the decent sized chunk of the 0:19:07.880 --> 0:19:11.440 Irish Republican Navy, fought back the shrieking in the sea. 0:19:12.520 --> 0:19:15.720 Most citizens, even the non combatants, and what does that 0:19:15.760 --> 0:19:18.480 word even mean anymore. I'm a reporter and I carry 0:19:18.480 --> 0:19:24.000 an ar fifteen. Most people elected to stay Barcelona, they swear, 0:19:24.320 --> 0:19:28.920 will not become another Terragoza, considering a rather large chunk 0:19:28.960 --> 0:19:32.880 of people here themselves fled Terragoza or Aragon. More broadly, 0:19:33.520 --> 0:19:37.240 it's not an empty statement when they say that. But 0:19:37.359 --> 0:19:40.520 researchers and engineers fled, bringing with them a decent chunk 0:19:40.560 --> 0:19:43.400 of the cloning factories of the city, since those don't 0:19:43.440 --> 0:19:47.520 work under vish new conditions. And there are many, many 0:19:47.640 --> 0:19:50.680 people who rely on electricity for their work and their 0:19:50.680 --> 0:19:54.280 wartime contributions, or even the just their day to day 0:19:54.320 --> 0:19:58.399 physical health and survival. Tens of thousands of people loaded 0:19:58.400 --> 0:20:01.439 into boats and sailed off for it Italy, and we 0:20:01.560 --> 0:20:06.680 did not lose a single civilian boat or civilian Three 0:20:06.760 --> 0:20:09.679 Irish and five sea and te ships went down, but 0:20:09.840 --> 0:20:13.639 nearly every one of those sailors was rescued. There are 0:20:13.720 --> 0:20:18.800 seventeen martyred heroes of the little retreat. I watched the 0:20:18.840 --> 0:20:21.399 whole thing from the roof of a beachside motel, with 0:20:21.440 --> 0:20:24.560 the rest of the press relying on actual binoculars and 0:20:24.640 --> 0:20:27.399 telescopes instead of the drones I was used to using. 0:20:28.359 --> 0:20:34.359 The shrieking was overwhelming for hours until it wasn't until 0:20:34.359 --> 0:20:37.320 the sailors beat back the half living monsters of the sea, 0:20:37.920 --> 0:20:40.919 until the tide washed red. And I'm not being as 0:20:41.000 --> 0:20:44.120 hyperbolic here as you might imagine. The whole sea didn't 0:20:44.200 --> 0:20:47.359 change color, but blood and bodies washed up for weeks 0:20:47.400 --> 0:20:51.480 after the battle. The night of the battle, I took 0:20:51.520 --> 0:20:54.359 six of those Irish Republican sailors home with me to 0:20:54.440 --> 0:20:58.600 show them a little bit of syndicless hospitality. They drank 0:20:58.600 --> 0:21:00.640 in honor of their friend they had lost that day. 0:21:01.280 --> 0:21:04.680 Chuvaan was her name. I drank in honor of her too, 0:21:05.280 --> 0:21:08.040 but it wasn't alcohol that I wanted going down my throat. 0:21:09.680 --> 0:21:12.920 And then at this point, Mick's bunnyface murderer hand wrote 0:21:12.960 --> 0:21:15.400 the code for an eggplant emoji so that it too 0:21:15.440 --> 0:21:18.679 could be encrypted and then decrypted, even though it's an 0:21:18.680 --> 0:21:24.400 audio medium. I only managed to file one report after 0:21:24.400 --> 0:21:27.680 the Vishnu shield went up, a now peer reviewed preliminary 0:21:27.720 --> 0:21:31.280 study on the sexual cultural differences of Irish Republican volunteers 0:21:31.320 --> 0:21:34.800 and Catalonian and arcosyndicalists and the compatibilities of the two. 0:21:35.680 --> 0:21:38.320 I did a lot of research for that study, got 0:21:38.320 --> 0:21:40.600 a special chair to sit in the corner and observe 0:21:40.680 --> 0:21:45.200 my subjects and everything. I got that study out look 0:21:45.240 --> 0:21:47.600 forward in the Journal of Applied Sexuality. It should be 0:21:47.640 --> 0:21:49.800 out by the time that you read this. But that 0:21:49.960 --> 0:21:54.359 was it. The Iron curtain came down fast. The Falalaxi's 0:21:54.400 --> 0:21:58.000 naval blockade has proven impenetrable to any but the canniest 0:21:58.040 --> 0:22:01.199 of deep sea divers. The ar armies arrayed around us 0:22:01.200 --> 0:22:03.920 are far too great for the brave few soldiers who 0:22:03.960 --> 0:22:09.639 remain in Catalonia. So far we've repelled every attack, but 0:22:09.760 --> 0:22:13.680 Catalonia is a land under siege. It will not survive 0:22:13.800 --> 0:22:19.000 without international support. We desperately need someone, anyone, to attack 0:22:19.080 --> 0:22:23.000 fascist Spain while they are busy with us. Most of 0:22:23.000 --> 0:22:28.320 the fighting isn't in Barcelona. Sure, occasionally a terror unit 0:22:28.359 --> 0:22:30.920 of the enemy will sneak in some zombies or some 0:22:31.040 --> 0:22:35.959 terrible biospawn monsters, but the population here is armed and organized, 0:22:36.560 --> 0:22:40.199 so those biospawn are neutralized quickly before they can do 0:22:40.240 --> 0:22:44.239 too much damage to people or morale. Most of the 0:22:44.240 --> 0:22:48.240 fighting is in the countryside. I decided to embed myself 0:22:48.240 --> 0:22:51.879 with an international unit of mostly American and British stegosaurus 0:22:51.920 --> 0:22:56.840 riders who call themselves the thag Hags, after the phagamizer, 0:22:57.200 --> 0:22:59.760 the spiky bit at the end of a stegosaurus's tail. 0:23:00.640 --> 0:23:03.800 They are led by Captain Simmons, a black British chap 0:23:03.840 --> 0:23:06.240 who has taken to wearing a pith helmet ironically and 0:23:06.280 --> 0:23:10.919 smoking a pipe earnestly. He's truly a wonderful man and 0:23:11.040 --> 0:23:15.159 monogamously married before anyone asks, who cares deeply about the 0:23:15.200 --> 0:23:18.640 people under his command, and even more about the stegosaurs. 0:23:20.000 --> 0:23:22.520 We rode off to the front under a hail of 0:23:22.560 --> 0:23:27.840 confetti and flowers. I cried, look, lots of stuff make 0:23:27.960 --> 0:23:31.520 me cry. I cried writing about that polycule clutching the grenade, 0:23:31.840 --> 0:23:35.439 yelling something or other with their last words. I cried 0:23:35.840 --> 0:23:39.560 watching the battle as people fled the city. I even 0:23:39.640 --> 0:23:46.520 cried during the festivities after the battle. The thag Hags 0:23:46.600 --> 0:23:50.800 number only two hundred people and eighty seven stagosaurs, but 0:23:50.920 --> 0:23:53.040 there were eight thousand of us marching out of the 0:23:53.080 --> 0:23:56.040 city that day to the front. Many of the Irish 0:23:56.080 --> 0:23:59.520 Republican Volunteers were there with us, as were a thousand 0:23:59.560 --> 0:24:02.520 pan Affanists who'd been defending the city for years at 0:24:02.520 --> 0:24:05.919 that point and had been preparing to head home but 0:24:05.960 --> 0:24:11.040 have been trapped by the Iron Curtain. There was also, curiously, 0:24:11.840 --> 0:24:15.680 a unit of Dreadnoughts. I don't know if you've covered 0:24:15.680 --> 0:24:17.600 them on the show before. I haven't been able to 0:24:17.640 --> 0:24:20.879 listen for a while now. I'm sorry about that, but 0:24:20.920 --> 0:24:24.840 they're this unit with a rather unique selling point. They 0:24:24.880 --> 0:24:28.000 boast the highest mortality rate of any unit in the 0:24:28.000 --> 0:24:32.800 Internationalist forces. Their recruitment materials proudly declare that the average 0:24:32.880 --> 0:24:37.240 Dreadnought dies in their second engagement. They marched in their 0:24:37.280 --> 0:24:42.240 medieval armor beside or astride their massive war soars. It 0:24:42.320 --> 0:24:45.000 was strange to be in their company. They're like a 0:24:45.600 --> 0:24:50.399 walking Memento Morii. I determined that once we got to 0:24:50.440 --> 0:24:52.480 the front I would get to know some of them 0:24:52.520 --> 0:24:56.600 a little bit better. There's something incredibly seductive about death 0:24:57.040 --> 0:25:00.000 and about those who straddle the line between life and death. 0:25:01.000 --> 0:25:03.280 I don't really know if in French they actually call 0:25:03.440 --> 0:25:07.480 orgasms little deaths, but if they do, it makes sense 0:25:07.520 --> 0:25:11.160 to me. So we marched out of the city, out 0:25:11.200 --> 0:25:13.040 to the camp at the place. I can't tell you, 0:25:13.800 --> 0:25:15.399 and I can't tell you how long it took us 0:25:15.400 --> 0:25:19.600 to get there, but eventually we got there. We got 0:25:19.600 --> 0:25:22.520 to the front. As for what I saw while I 0:25:22.600 --> 0:25:24.880 was there, the audience is going to have to wait 0:25:24.920 --> 0:25:27.760 another week unless Cool Zone Media has changed its schedule 0:25:27.840 --> 0:25:33.240 since I've been gone. And that's it for part one 0:25:33.280 --> 0:25:36.399 of In Bed with the Dreadnoughts by Mixed Bunny Face Murder. 0:25:36.440 --> 0:25:40.520 We'll be back with more of it next week, Okay, 0:25:40.640 --> 0:25:43.399 Margaret in twenty twenty five. Here just letting you know 0:25:43.440 --> 0:25:45.000 that if you like my writing, you might like my 0:25:45.119 --> 0:25:48.439 upcoming book, The Immortal Choir Holds Every Voice. If you 0:25:48.480 --> 0:25:50.439 heard me read a book called The Lamb Will Slaughter 0:25:50.480 --> 0:25:52.440