Speaker 1: Calm Down with Aaron and Carissa is a production of
Speaker 1: I Heart Radio four three two. You're not saying the one?
Speaker 1: I am not doing it? Do you kind when when
Speaker 1: we start an interview when they do that clap thing.
Speaker 1: I still have no idea why they don't. I don't either.
Speaker 1: Joel Santos, this one's for you. He always does it
Speaker 1: and I either try to put my tongue right through it.
Speaker 1: And I also think it's like the gator chalk. Hi everyone, Yeah, Hi,
Speaker 1: Welcome to our tangents. This is usually when we sit
Speaker 1: down with Dak Prescott, Aaron Rodgers, Aaron Rodgers, do we
Speaker 1: have a ton of questions for you? Aloha and mahollow
Speaker 1: millik leaky maka is the thing to say, um my
Speaker 1: love of life. We always take our podcast on Mondays,
Speaker 1: so this will air later on in the week, but
Speaker 1: it was Memorial Day weekend. Did we have a good time?
Speaker 1: What's going on over there? We had a good time here?
Speaker 1: We uh we let off some steam? Can we can
Speaker 1: we talk about some news and notes before we get
Speaker 1: to the price in the Lows? How about the news?
Speaker 1: And I think I tipped you off of this earlier
Speaker 1: of the map with Tom Brady and Aaron Rodgers. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I know I need an invite attorney. You're always welcome back.
Speaker 1: This is what I want. I mean, we can't work
Speaker 1: the event obviously because it's on Turner Sports, which I'm
Speaker 1: jealous Fox. Why didn't we get this? Can Charles Barkley
Speaker 1: please just be out there and be the roaming I
Speaker 1: guess reporter on the golf course that you can't call
Speaker 1: the sideline reporter. What do they call those reporters? I
Speaker 1: don't know. But put him anywhere in the bunker, in
Speaker 1: the trees. I mean, where's Waldo. Just get him out
Speaker 1: on the links, to the windows, to the walls. I mean,
Speaker 1: this guy these Yeah, I'm so excited about it. I mean,
Speaker 1: Tom Brady, you're gonna be Yeah, We're gonna be there,
Speaker 1: very much looking forward to it. Um. You know, we
Speaker 1: could even do a live podcast during it. Aaron Andrews
Speaker 1: reporting here from the match in Big Sky, montanner Um
Speaker 1: with Tom, Jared and I were saying, this guy, this
Speaker 1: freaking guy, he didn't stop. He was just putting the
Speaker 1: zers out there on social media. It wasn't amazing. I
Speaker 1: was gonna say this social media is next level, like
Speaker 1: the second he left New England, that ship just like
Speaker 1: ramps right up there was the cartoons that came out.
Speaker 1: All that stuff. Well, according to the media, I'm in
Speaker 1: love with Tom Brady, which you have always going to go. Well,
Speaker 1: I mean if i'd because like so, I didn't know
Speaker 1: you're that into Brady, Huh, like I am now. I mean,
Speaker 1: I just I'm so turned on by winners and like
Speaker 1: when he went Look, I always loved him in New
Speaker 1: England five and the whole thing, but when he went
Speaker 1: to Tampa and it was like watch me work. It
Speaker 1: was so hot to me because I just love somebody that,
Speaker 1: you know. I refer to this statement a lot, but
Speaker 1: ray Lewis said, the difference between great and greatness is
Speaker 1: an individual is great and greatness is making everyone else
Speaker 1: around you better. And like that's what I saw. And granted,
Speaker 1: of course the defense was phenomenal all the other parts,
Speaker 1: but that you know, Brady Brady factor. So I'm excited
Speaker 1: to I'm jealous that you're going to be there for it.
Speaker 1: When is it again? July six? Stole, I mean, it's
Speaker 1: etched into the wall. That's the funny part. Yes, the
Speaker 1: the uh, the clickbait, the newspapers had fun with you
Speaker 1: throwing game at Tom Brady. That's not what you were doing.
Speaker 1: Read the artist and that's not what you're doing. My
Speaker 1: favorite is when people come after me and they're like, oh,
Speaker 1: you're always commenting on Tom's I g Eron's just trying
Speaker 1: to shoot or shot. No, that's not me. Have you
Speaker 1: met my husband. He wears the cologne. He wears this
Speaker 1: outfit like our household is obset. We love as friends
Speaker 1: with him, Yeah, yeah, but he's just the freaking man.
Speaker 1: I mean exactly what you said, like we obviously loved
Speaker 1: him when we met him and he's in New England,
Speaker 1: but exactly how he came and just laid it down
Speaker 1: and slayed in Tampa was like, okay, you do you
Speaker 1: lows of your week? How like you look like you
Speaker 1: at a time at the lake? Well, I look like
Speaker 1: I have a lot of foundation on. Is what I
Speaker 1: look like when I'm in this reverse. I don't even
Speaker 1: it's one. It's this new arm like sun glow. I
Speaker 1: know you have like a glow happening for your listeners.
Speaker 1: This is very boring, but it looks like I just
Speaker 1: went to the mac counter and tried on all their products.
Speaker 1: Um I did. I had a little gal's weekend up
Speaker 1: at the lake. Of course you're always invited, but you have,
Speaker 1: um a lot of other friends, which I don't know
Speaker 1: if I'm into you having other friends. Whenever I hear
Speaker 1: you say like, oh, I was with my girlfriends, I'm like,
Speaker 1: I don't like you having any other friends other than me.
Speaker 1: Um that said, fun time at the lake, and then
Speaker 1: I came back in house and home. I've converted my
Speaker 1: garage into an office. So exciting. That's finished. So the
Speaker 1: low is, UM, I I think that I'm not being
Speaker 1: a very good wife and I need to work on
Speaker 1: this because I'm getting now that COVID's over and we're
Speaker 1: back into our independent lifestyles. Like I'm getting back into
Speaker 1: that I need to make a concerted effort to spend
Speaker 1: more time with my husband since we're bicoastal. So I'm
Speaker 1: going to work on that, and I'm going to um
Speaker 1: as my therapist said, I need to throw on a
Speaker 1: dress every now and then and be the lady in
Speaker 1: the relationship and UM so up. So I'm going to
Speaker 1: work on that. That's my low because I was just
Speaker 1: being irritable for no reason and I shouldn't do that.
Speaker 1: So I'm it's more of like throwing a dress and
Speaker 1: make some dinner, which by the way, sounds so incredibly sexy,
Speaker 1: or like what is it, what's your first step? Yeah,
Speaker 1: and my and my therapist is great the reason, And
Speaker 1: it's not like sexist or anything. That is just more
Speaker 1: of like the softer side of sears. Remember that campaign.
Speaker 1: Anyone that's like under the age of forty doesn't Uh yeah, no,
Speaker 1: I think I just sometimes I'm going back into my
Speaker 1: and you can understand this, like our independent ways where
Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't need anyone, and I'm like, okay,
Speaker 1: there's a you know, so I'm gonna work on that.
Speaker 1: But that's my side tangent. So that was my low
Speaker 1: um to just be more cognizant that I guess when
Speaker 1: you get married, there's another person in the relationship. So
Speaker 1: that's what I'm doing. What about you've was SPF not
Speaker 1: available at the lake this weekend? I know it wasn't
Speaker 1: picture red rope. I'm gonna have to go and get
Speaker 1: a lot of lasering. Look at this burnt situation and
Speaker 1: in your forties, by the way, I stop it. I
Speaker 1: just hit the table and Daisy got up. It's okay.
Speaker 1: The dog, um, the dog by dog. Yeah, it's a
Speaker 1: little red. Don't you hate it when you ever get
Speaker 1: like burnt and someone's like, oh, you're looking a little red.
Speaker 1: I'm like, it'll be a tan, don't worry about it.
Speaker 1: But this is also a lot of laser treatments. Then
Speaker 1: that's also, by the way, what I used to do
Speaker 1: on the daily growing up in Florida, and now I'm
Speaker 1: paying for it now with just this skin. And yeah,
Speaker 1: all the laser treatments. Um. Yeah, tough week in the
Speaker 1: Andrew Stole Household. I feel like I throughout my life,
Speaker 1: well not my life, but over the last few years
Speaker 1: have not been shy with my battle with cervical cancer
Speaker 1: and so forth. And there's a lot of things you
Speaker 1: deal with after you have it, and infertility is one
Speaker 1: of them. And it was a devastating week, to say
Speaker 1: the least in our house. And um, you know, it's
Speaker 1: interesting because I think I shared with you last month
Speaker 1: that a couple of videos right on Instagram is my
Speaker 1: voice quiver so cute, um, And people have very embarrassed
Speaker 1: to talk about this stuff. And I was joking with
Speaker 1: you this week be as we were kind of going
Speaker 1: through all my crap and I was like, you want
Speaker 1: me to be another spokesperson? All be another spokesperson. What
Speaker 1: it's like, what movie or what show is up from?
Speaker 1: What do you want for me? But yeah, it's like
Speaker 1: look to my husband this week and it's like ship,
Speaker 1: here we go. I'm another freaking spokesperson of something. But
Speaker 1: I think what makes me so mad and piste off
Speaker 1: about this whole situation is that people are so embarrassed
Speaker 1: to talk about this and they shouldn't be. And uh,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm excited today for our guests coming up
Speaker 1: because it's about stress and anxiety, and the stress and
Speaker 1: anxiety and disappointment and grief in our house has never
Speaker 1: been bigger. And um that's my low, my high wise, um,
Speaker 1: my group of just people and this is my husband
Speaker 1: included that we were able to talk to you about this,
Speaker 1: and again, what's so crazy about this whole journey for
Speaker 1: us is that we learned so much. So many people
Speaker 1: deal with this, and we learned that they are afraid
Speaker 1: to say something, and we are so lucky to have
Speaker 1: the core group of people that we do. You included, Um,
Speaker 1: I walked my dog the other day and called you
Speaker 1: and baled my brains out and um, you were just
Speaker 1: you listen, But then you gave me a stern talking
Speaker 1: to and I appreciated it. But also like the men
Speaker 1: that have reached out, and that's very much to do
Speaker 1: with my husband's circle, and just getting text from them
Speaker 1: and their heartbreak for us was huge. But I will
Speaker 1: tell you this when there's another high after this. Um,
Speaker 1: if you were dealing with this out there and men included,
Speaker 1: talk to your people. I mean, we're talking so much
Speaker 1: about mental health today. You cannot keep this in. You
Speaker 1: have to talk and lean on your people. And even
Speaker 1: though it's like a really sensitive, horrible subject, like your friends,
Speaker 1: they will understand. And two girlfriends in my life, Crissa
Speaker 1: Thompson and my other girlfriend Megan Mitchell. I just bitched
Speaker 1: to you the other day and balled to you, and
Speaker 1: then I texted Megan and I bitched to her about
Speaker 1: something and you both said the same thing to me. Okay,
Speaker 1: you know what, you do have it in you to continue.
Speaker 1: Let's pretend your TV twelve and this is your freaking
Speaker 1: super Bowl and let's fucking go. And I said to
Speaker 1: both of you, my god, you both know me. So
Speaker 1: well to bring it back to Tom Brady. So there
Speaker 1: I am shooting my shot again. I will also tell
Speaker 1: you another high. WI was as shitty as we felt
Speaker 1: in this house. This week we turned on The Friends
Speaker 1: Reunion and it was so good and we both said,
Speaker 1: thank god we watched it, and did you watch it?
Speaker 1: I did, And first of all, I want to commend
Speaker 1: you as and now I'm going to cry because I
Speaker 1: just love you so much. And good friends are like
Speaker 1: extensions of Remember when we when I got in a
Speaker 1: fight and I started crying when we got in a fight,
Speaker 1: and You're like, why are you crying? Because that's like
Speaker 1: how I like convey like how I care about people.
Speaker 1: But I'm just proud of you too, go through everything
Speaker 1: that you're going through, and I'm always here for you.
Speaker 1: And you know, like anyone listening to this podcast, hopefully
Speaker 1: you have those people in your life because when it's
Speaker 1: not when things are it's when things go bad you
Speaker 1: find out who's there. And I'll always be there for
Speaker 1: you and very similar to you know what you said,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be there to give you a big hug,
Speaker 1: but then I'm also gonna pick you up off the floor.
Speaker 1: And sometimes that's a little tough love. That's even want
Speaker 1: to be my marriage. But it is that thing that um,
Speaker 1: you know, I I just I just love you and
Speaker 1: I only want you know the best for you. But
Speaker 1: you have a tremendous amount of support and you are
Speaker 1: running a race. But that racing over like I told you,
Speaker 1: So maybe we're on mile and it's not We're not
Speaker 1: at the pace that you want, but there's a couple
Speaker 1: more miles left here and I'll be there to carry
Speaker 1: you over the finish line if you need to. So
Speaker 1: just know that you being open about you know, it's
Speaker 1: it's easy to stand there, you know, and work the
Speaker 1: NFC Championship game and your life looks perfect in your
Speaker 1: husband and you've got this perfect family and all this stuff.
Speaker 1: But it's like care blowing in the wind. But dump
Speaker 1: danta um. But your ability to be honest about what
Speaker 1: it is that you're going through. Um on every level, Aaron,
Speaker 1: I mean, from what has happened to you and anyways.
Speaker 1: I just I just really want you to know that
Speaker 1: your openness helps way more people than you realize, even me,
Speaker 1: you know, I I've now looked at my situation and
Speaker 1: been like, Okay, I need to get going on some
Speaker 1: things because so thank you for being vulnerable and just
Speaker 1: know that you know, you've got a tremendous amount of
Speaker 1: support and anyone listening that's going whether it's in fertility
Speaker 1: or any issue that you have going on. And we'll
Speaker 1: dive into that a little bit more with our guest
Speaker 1: Caroline Leaf after Caroline Leaf. Um that awareness about mental
Speaker 1: health and you know, we some of the athletes that
Speaker 1: we love, right the Dad Prescott's of the world who
Speaker 1: you just can't help but root for, stands up there
Speaker 1: and says I'm going through this, or his brother, you know,
Speaker 1: passing away, and the vulnerability on that that stage, right,
Speaker 1: So it doesn't matter if you're the quarterback to the
Speaker 1: Cowboys or you know, you in the position that that
Speaker 1: you have. Everyone needs to be open and honest about
Speaker 1: what they're going through if they if they can. Some
Speaker 1: people like the privacy, but I'm just saying that your
Speaker 1: openness helps more people than you realize. So thank you
Speaker 1: for that, um and bringing it back. That's what it's
Speaker 1: all about, is your group, right, your group? And what
Speaker 1: what I realized and watching it last night and I
Speaker 1: was a fan of the show, did you just spit
Speaker 1: that plastic out. That was like the pretty woman I
Speaker 1: was fate kissing that looked like you went like with
Speaker 1: the gum. Have you ever done that before? Anyways? Us
Speaker 1: the Friends Reunion. So I was a fan of the show,
Speaker 1: But what I didn't realize until last night watching it
Speaker 1: is that group was going through something that like nobody
Speaker 1: else knew, right, and so they're bond. Like even when
Speaker 1: they said that they did that huddle before every show,
Speaker 1: I said, you stop it right now, like that is
Speaker 1: you know? It was just it brought it back to
Speaker 1: your circle that you have around you support you. That's
Speaker 1: a huddle. The sports we love a huddle like bringing
Speaker 1: the group of people you love together. I just loved
Speaker 1: everything about it. What was your favorite part? Um? I
Speaker 1: was just gonna ask you that my favorite part, I
Speaker 1: think the thing we're all texting about with each other
Speaker 1: is um. First of all, I liked Lisa Kudro so
Speaker 1: much more, not that I wasn't a fan of her,
Speaker 1: but she was so lovely in the reunion. And I
Speaker 1: don't know, I guess like I don't know, I just
Speaker 1: love more now exactly the same. Yeah, And I know
Speaker 1: our makeup artist Brett Good job. What was the other one?
Speaker 1: I mean, I think what everybody's freaking out about was
Speaker 1: that Ross and Rachel really had a crush on each other.
Speaker 1: And it's like, so I immediately looked to see if
Speaker 1: he's married right now. Sorry if you're dating him, and
Speaker 1: you know you're you're a fan of the show, but
Speaker 1: I was checking out to see if he was married
Speaker 1: because I was like, there's still a chance. And all
Speaker 1: the behind the scenes footage of like them cuddling on
Speaker 1: the couch, and then everybody's saying, oh, we knew you'all
Speaker 1: were crushing on each other. Stop it, Why why is
Speaker 1: this not happening? Move over, Harry and Megan. I mean,
Speaker 1: this would be like a couple of all couples. And
Speaker 1: now the Brad thing. I've always wanted the reunion of
Speaker 1: Jen and Brad when they're the Golden Globes in that
Speaker 1: touch and the thing, and I was like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: maybe there's a champ. Doesn't seem like that's happening. So
Speaker 1: Ross and Rachel are are I mean, can you even
Speaker 1: freaking imagine if they got back together in real life? Yeah, no,
Speaker 1: it'd be amazing. And the other Matt LeBlanc was hot
Speaker 1: back in the day, like he was breaking hot. Yeah,
Speaker 1: photos of him. I also liked his I love the
Speaker 1: stories of the auditions where it was like and all
Speaker 1: I could think about is like, wonder if you're someone
Speaker 1: who like audition for those parts, and like Marta Coppin's
Speaker 1: like we couldn't find anyone. I'd be like, wow, yeah,
Speaker 1: you know whatever. I mean imagine or imagine being like
Speaker 1: the person that they called back and it was like
Speaker 1: between you and Chandler whatever, And it was like knowing
Speaker 1: that you were so close. Talk about life changing. But
Speaker 1: now now I can't imagine another Characteruse That's just the
Speaker 1: way it works. Mike Mulvehill line one one of my
Speaker 1: favorite guys. UM Fox. He basically um he deals with
Speaker 1: all our ratings. He knows how to schedule our games.
Speaker 1: I'm not doing him justice with his title, but he's
Speaker 1: my dream. I go to him for demo numbers, ratings numbers.
Speaker 1: Jared and I after we watched the reunion, we just
Speaker 1: started looking up the whole thing about their contracts and
Speaker 1: when they all held out together so they could all
Speaker 1: be equally paid. They were all paid. In this particular article,
Speaker 1: we read two to three million dollars to do the
Speaker 1: reunion show. HBO Max's subscriptions went up six hundred percent
Speaker 1: when the French re Union came out. There fucking money.
Speaker 1: And remember when James Cordon at the Begning was like
Speaker 1: reading off all the numbers. He's like, it's been seen
Speaker 1: in like a hundred the shows a much a hundred
Speaker 1: billion times, and even their faces were like, I need
Speaker 1: to know what those residual checks look like. Two hundred million,
Speaker 1: twenty million a year each. Shut up. I'll be there
Speaker 1: for you, yeah, always. And we went to brunch today
Speaker 1: with our buddy is a former producer, and he was saying,
Speaker 1: we you know, we're talking about how they sat out
Speaker 1: and they all made a million per episode for seasons
Speaker 1: nine and ten, and our buddy reminded us, you guys,
Speaker 1: keep in mind that wasn't when it was just ten
Speaker 1: episodes a season. They were doing like twenty two episodes.
Speaker 1: So also, seventeen years ago, a million dollars is now
Speaker 1: white ten million or whatever it might be. I mean,
Speaker 1: that's crazy. Okay, next show, you want to see them
Speaker 1: do something like this? Which is the next worthy show
Speaker 1: for something like this? For reunion? Yeah? Well, I mean
Speaker 1: I think that you would say Seinfeld, like, this isn't
Speaker 1: that you're that's more you're like Seinfelder. I would want
Speaker 1: and I know they're doing a whole like reboot, but
Speaker 1: I really would love Sex in the City. But you
Speaker 1: have to have Kim Contral there. You need to have
Speaker 1: all of the parties there, and they need to be
Speaker 1: honest about the nonsense. Yes, Mary, yes, but it's like,
Speaker 1: if you're gonna do it, then's sit down and be on.
Speaker 1: I mean, look look at what you look at what
Speaker 1: you're doing, even on this podcast, Like I know that
Speaker 1: when we even talked doing a podcast a couple of
Speaker 1: years ago, I was like, do it if you're going
Speaker 1: to be you. And remember even some of our wonderful
Speaker 1: Russell Wilson said that to you. Aaron said that to you.
Speaker 1: Roger said that too. He's like, Okay, we're gonna do
Speaker 1: a podcast, but you have to be you. And that's
Speaker 1: how I think about these reunion shows. Were like even
Speaker 1: them saying about the Ross and Rachel thing like I
Speaker 1: love that, but are you kidding me? And James and
Speaker 1: I never thought about it, but James Corton was onto something,
Speaker 1: are you telling me? Nobody on that that like Castle
Speaker 1: left together with each other, curse, they were freaking hot.
Speaker 1: They were all probably partying together. Like, tell me, nobody
Speaker 1: hooked up who do you think? Freaking way? I bet
Speaker 1: you was a Chandler Monica situation. I bet you they did.
Speaker 1: Matt le Blanc had to be hooking up with someone
Speaker 1: he was I don't know. I also see him being
Speaker 1: like the like hot remember Joey Lawrence. I may have
Speaker 1: hosted a show with them. Splash, I'm not bragging. These
Speaker 1: are just dude, remember and Blossom how he was like
Speaker 1: the hot dumb brother, like Joey was like the hot
Speaker 1: dumb friend. So I don't know if are you into that?
Speaker 1: I don't know. But one more thing I'll say. Since
Speaker 1: we've watched the reunion, we've had the Friends repeats on
Speaker 1: NonStop now, and I'm curious how much those numbers, you know,
Speaker 1: I love the rating have increased. It's like when an
Speaker 1: artist dies and everybody goes and listens to their music
Speaker 1: and you see the spike in numbers. But yeah, we've
Speaker 1: had it on all day in the house. It's a
Speaker 1: great point because yours truly who peripherally like Friends, But
Speaker 1: it was on I'd watch it, but I didn't seek
Speaker 1: it out. Now I feel excited to go back and
Speaker 1: watch it, knowing like the behind the scenes and the
Speaker 1: backstory and the whole thing. Also, how money are those
Speaker 1: coat like the coke free like the executive producers like
Speaker 1: creators and writers like Jesus. I also liked Real Quickly.
Speaker 1: I liked when Jennifer Aniston's producer on the show. She
Speaker 1: was working almost like Oh, that show won't make you
Speaker 1: a star, And then James Cordon, he's so good, He's like, oh,
Speaker 1: we have that producer here tonight. It was so funny.
Speaker 1: She got like all embarrassed, like she was going to
Speaker 1: have to confront him. But people when he was on show,
Speaker 1: I thought he did a great job. Like the problem
Speaker 1: is that there was like this whole like ordeal where
Speaker 1: people were like piste off that James Gordon was hosting it.
Speaker 1: I thought he did a freaking phenomenal job. I loved him.
Speaker 1: You know what those people need, They need doctor Caroline
Speaker 1: Leaf in their life and a calm down award. Well exactly.
Speaker 1: We are going to dive into all things mental health
Speaker 1: and awareness with our next guest. I need it all um,
Speaker 1: you and your vulnerability, which again, I cannot overstate how
Speaker 1: much I respect you for doing that. Um. We'll figure
Speaker 1: out why the mind works the way it does. UM.
Speaker 1: She's coming up next. We have a lot of questions
Speaker 1: for her. This is the Calm Down Podcast. And Ross
Speaker 1: and Rachel please get back together. Make us happy we
Speaker 1: should and singing. I love the one where at the end,
Speaker 1: like where they showed Dreana oh my god having them
Speaker 1: do the kiss, one when they were script reading it.
Speaker 1: I like the one where it was like my eyes,
Speaker 1: my eyes, and then she was like she so excited.
Speaker 1: Freak at the apartment because he didn't want to see
Speaker 1: Rawson found Monota then he jumped up. Those table reads
Speaker 1: were really cute. Well, I know Aaron and I are
Speaker 1: very excited to welcome in our guest Dr Caroline Leave
Speaker 1: thirty eight years and then some of experience in you know,
Speaker 1: the well renowned neuroscientists and best selling author that you are.
Speaker 1: That is a title that Aaron and I will never have. Um.
Speaker 1: In terms of moro scientists, we are. We are humbled
Speaker 1: by your presence and we can't wait to speak to
Speaker 1: you about all of the things. For those individuals Caroline
Speaker 1: that don't know your background, would you mind just sort
Speaker 1: of explaining to uh, to our listeners how you got
Speaker 1: into this incredibly impressive field. Absolutely well, thank you very
Speaker 1: much for having me on your podcast. I always love
Speaker 1: to share, and it's an important topic to talk about
Speaker 1: people's minds because that's what drives us. So basically, i'm
Speaker 1: as you see the cognitive neuroscientists and communication mythologists. What
Speaker 1: I study is psycho neurobiology. So what that means is
Speaker 1: I look at mind, brain, body. And I started off
Speaker 1: thirty eight years ago in a time period in science
Speaker 1: where they didn't believe the brain could change, and I
Speaker 1: was being trained to work with people with brain damage,
Speaker 1: and I just remember my one neuroscience lecturer saying, well,
Speaker 1: the brain can't change, so therefore when you work with
Speaker 1: traumatic brain injured patients, you are going to have to
Speaker 1: just teach them to compensate and that just like I said, No,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I cannot deal with that. I said, if
Speaker 1: you think of it as humans, we are always having
Speaker 1: new experiences, we're learning, be changing, And that makes logical
Speaker 1: sense because in the eighties they believed that the mind
Speaker 1: was separate from the brain, so that they got right,
Speaker 1: but they didn't believe the brain could change. So they
Speaker 1: just feelt, Okay, well, it doesn't matter what you do
Speaker 1: with your mind because the brains are going to change,
Speaker 1: so just teach compensations. It's very illogical. So I challenged that,
Speaker 1: and they said, okay, well that's your kill us question
Speaker 1: to say the mind can change the brain, so prove it.
Speaker 1: So so I said, give me the worst population you
Speaker 1: can think of, the most difficult population, not worst, and
Speaker 1: they said, well, work with traumatic brain injured patients who
Speaker 1: have been in comas for longer than eight hours, because
Speaker 1: that was considered irreversible brain damage. And I took them
Speaker 1: on and I started doing research, and my first major
Speaker 1: study was with a subject who had actually been in
Speaker 1: a coma for two weeks and had been told by
Speaker 1: her neurologist that she her parents have been told that
Speaker 1: she would be a vegetable. Literally, those were the words.
Speaker 1: Thank god, they don't use those words anymore to a
Speaker 1: patient's face, or two a parent's face, but they did.
Speaker 1: And those parents contacted me because they heard I was
Speaker 1: doing this kind of research, and they said they cannot
Speaker 1: just give up on their change. They've pretty much been
Speaker 1: told to give up. But they didn't they had stuck
Speaker 1: with her. She came out of her coma, they had
Speaker 1: done their best to stimulate her. They brought her home
Speaker 1: and even coming out the coma and functioning at whatever level.
Speaker 1: Long story short, that was a miracle. She was sixteen
Speaker 1: at the time of her accident, seventeen when they contacted me.
Speaker 1: She had lost almost her whole of her eleventh grade year,
Speaker 1: and her peer group was going into twelfth grade. Her
Speaker 1: desire when they came to me was to get back
Speaker 1: into twelfth grade and to finish twelfth grade. Her doctors
Speaker 1: and her teachers all said, why you even trying that
Speaker 1: she couldn't even cope on her second grade level. And UM,
Speaker 1: so you know, I was a new scientist, young therapist,
Speaker 1: in new in the research. I believed totally that you
Speaker 1: could change. And I said, okay, well it's this. I mean,
Speaker 1: let's do at least try. And within eight months that
Speaker 1: goes three times a week. And I say this, I
Speaker 1: saw her three hours a week, and within eight months,
Speaker 1: that young girl not only had gone from second grade
Speaker 1: back to twelfth grade, but she finished twelfth grade with
Speaker 1: her peer group, and she did better in her grades
Speaker 1: than she did prior to her accident, she battled like
Speaker 1: crazy with math, was a very average student prior to
Speaker 1: the accident. Post accident, she was a math genius. She
Speaker 1: her Q school, not that ARQUE schools is much, but
Speaker 1: I had it done by a neuro psychologist who does
Speaker 1: it in a specific way, and she was basically on
Speaker 1: the genius level. She prior to that, her ARQUE was average.
Speaker 1: So here we have someone who was average student, average
Speaker 1: r average intelligence, kind of just you know, going along,
Speaker 1: has a terrible accident, is written off by the medical community,
Speaker 1: and by using her mind, she becomes a math genius,
Speaker 1: goes and finish the school, goes to college, goes on
Speaker 1: to make a life for herself. And that was one
Speaker 1: of hundreds and then thousands of cases. So that really
Speaker 1: got me going. And I did. What that was is
Speaker 1: I showed neuroplasticity. I showed that when you deliberately used
Speaker 1: your mind in a specific way, you're going to change
Speaker 1: your brain. Your brain is substance, it's physical substance, and
Speaker 1: it is driven by the mind. So it's the thing
Speaker 1: or process that helps us to experience life, and the
Speaker 1: mind uses the brain to convert that experience into a
Speaker 1: way that we can actually express that experience. So in
Speaker 1: other words, we are having an experience. Now we're having
Speaker 1: a discussion about this topic of mind, brain, mental health
Speaker 1: and all the things we get into. But that is
Speaker 1: being absorbed by, taken in and process too. Think, field, choose,
Speaker 1: and all these photons of all the gravitational fields and
Speaker 1: things which is mind and pushed into the brain, and
Speaker 1: the brain responds on an electro magnetic and I've got
Speaker 1: a brain here electro magnetic, chemical and neurochemical and genetic level,
Speaker 1: and everything I'm saying is growing in your brain as
Speaker 1: trees from me being the source. I'm supplying the information
Speaker 1: and you're listening is going into the root system like
Speaker 1: a tree for the listeners, I'm holding up a little
Speaker 1: tree in a pot, and the roots system is in
Speaker 1: the pot. But the roots system you prompt the seed,
Speaker 1: which is the name of the podcast. Seed. Then as
Speaker 1: I'm talking, those are the roots, root memories. It's the source.
Speaker 1: So the roots are the source of the experience. And
Speaker 1: then the branches, this is so cool, are your interpretation
Speaker 1: you're thinking, feeling and choosing, which is based on your
Speaker 1: identity of the information. And then all of this together
Speaker 1: at the end of this conversation. You now have this
Speaker 1: knowledge in your brain as a tree, in the gravitational
Speaker 1: fields of your mind as waves, and in the DNA
Speaker 1: of your body, changing your actual DNA because his mind
Speaker 1: to brain, brain to body. So now let's say it's
Speaker 1: a toxic experience. Here has a toxic tree. So literally
Speaker 1: the thoughts looked at they look like trees in the brain.
Speaker 1: That's why I use these analogies and that. So this
Speaker 1: is now this wiry one I brought all the way
Speaker 1: from South Africa. Um, this is now a toxic version.
Speaker 1: So this would be let's say COVID. There we go
Speaker 1: the pandemic. There's your pandemic traumatory and it is a
Speaker 1: trauma if it's changed our lives. You don't know what's
Speaker 1: going on. So the root system is right from when
Speaker 1: it's started, and all the uncertainty and the news and
Speaker 1: the media and your own experience and isolation and whatever
Speaker 1: happened to that's all in the roots system. As the
Speaker 1: root system grows, you interpret, so each day there's something
Speaker 1: added and you're adding to so that ranch memories are
Speaker 1: how you think, feel and choose about those. It's easy
Speaker 1: to understand something like sexual trauma because it's so insidious.
Speaker 1: But generally there's there's the trauma, and you always experience, interpret, experience, interpret,
Speaker 1: and the interpretation is literally our identity. So this is
Speaker 1: toxic identities toxic. So someone who said sexual trauma, they
Speaker 1: tend to see themselves as shame, I deserve pain, I'm bad,
Speaker 1: it's my faults because those are the standard kind of
Speaker 1: ways that someone will think when they've gone through that.
Speaker 1: You have to change when someone has gone through major
Speaker 1: sexual abuse because it's such a distortion. So that's that then,
Speaker 1: is how the person then shows up. So this is
Speaker 1: undealt with This is real in the brain. It's protein
Speaker 1: tree like structure in the brain. It's in the mind
Speaker 1: as these waves, it's in the DNA of our body.
Speaker 1: So when something triggers this, the whole experience comes back,
Speaker 1: and that's why we have the somatic, the body experience.
Speaker 1: The body keeps the score that kind of concept, and
Speaker 1: so you that's why somebody experiences tuma. They will get
Speaker 1: the trigger. The trigger brings back all the data, all
Speaker 1: the emotions, the interpretation, how they see themselves, back to
Speaker 1: the root, and it's all drawn up from the body
Speaker 1: to the data in the brain. With the feelings and stuff,
Speaker 1: and then the So the body is the sensations, the
Speaker 1: brain is the data of the what happened in the feelings,
Speaker 1: and then the mind is the whole experience. And it
Speaker 1: can be ten years, twenty years later, but the experience
Speaker 1: comes back. And until this is deconstructed and reconstructed into
Speaker 1: something healthy, this is controlling and it is real. So
Speaker 1: the immune system of the brainom body recognized this as
Speaker 1: real and will send out in exactly the same way
Speaker 1: as the covid virus has got the weird protein. And
Speaker 1: we all know that this weird protein stimulates the immune
Speaker 1: system to fight it, which we all understand. But do
Speaker 1: we realize that that toxic trauma that you've experienced is
Speaker 1: also a physical tree in your brain like the covid protein.
Speaker 1: Different protein to the covid, but also protein. It's real.
Speaker 1: What I'm saying that this is real. So your immune
Speaker 1: system of your brains, as much as it will fight
Speaker 1: anything that's threatening your survival, the toxic thought is also
Speaker 1: threatening your survival. So the immune system will also fight
Speaker 1: this responds in the same way, so we get the
Speaker 1: whole physiological response. I mean, that's a long answer to
Speaker 1: your question. But essentially that's kind of That's what I've
Speaker 1: studied for thirty eight years, and what I've try and
Speaker 1: do is I've got the whole therapeutic application. But I
Speaker 1: work very much now and trying to bring this to
Speaker 1: everyone because everyone has a mind and everyone needs to
Speaker 1: know how to manage their mind, and we need to
Speaker 1: be teaching those in schools from young I'm taking you
Speaker 1: to every dinner party I have. Will be bored. I
Speaker 1: mean I could listen to you talk for hours and
Speaker 1: you talk about the therapeutic application. I don't want to
Speaker 1: put words in your mouth, but is that what you're
Speaker 1: talking about with these five steps in your book that
Speaker 1: you go over with cleaning up your mental mask? Can
Speaker 1: we talk about what these five steps are all about?
Speaker 1: Because your books coming tomorrow to my house, but I'm
Speaker 1: ready to go, Like, I mean, do you want to
Speaker 1: go over the cliff Nes version of this? Sure? Sure,
Speaker 1: absolutely so. Thirty I DearS ago when I started in
Speaker 1: the field with the patient that I told you about,
Speaker 1: I thought, how am I going to be able to
Speaker 1: show this helpless person understand? What is the thought? What
Speaker 1: are the what the memories? Are they the same thing?
Speaker 1: Can you build in can you change them? Can you
Speaker 1: rewire them? How do you change your brain? And how
Speaker 1: do you change your feet? So that those are my
Speaker 1: questions that I was asking, how can I help you
Speaker 1: get that social emotional colbums to functioning and um. So
Speaker 1: in that process I slid it sort of the whole
Speaker 1: New Sun side of all the stuff and the ecological
Speaker 1: side and the combination and came up with a five
Speaker 1: step process. And basically the neuro cycle is like Amazon.
Speaker 1: It's like a delivery system enabling you to manage your mind.
Speaker 1: So it's a mind management delivery system where you use
Speaker 1: your wise mind, which all of us have. Our cored
Speaker 1: of who we are is wisdom, it's survival, it's love,
Speaker 1: it's all our neurobiology. Everything is designed for that. We
Speaker 1: see that in quantum physics, we see in physics, we
Speaker 1: see it in neurobiology, psycho neurobiology, all the stuff. We
Speaker 1: see that we are as human as your wife for survival.
Speaker 1: Just having an immune system is because we we survival oriented.
Speaker 1: We are optimism oriented and were drawn towards that to
Speaker 1: fix any imbalance that threatens that. So essentially the five
Speaker 1: step system is a delivery system for helping you to
Speaker 1: recognize and see how there's an imbalance, there's a threat
Speaker 1: to my survival and how can I find out what
Speaker 1: it means and how can I fix that? And so essentially,
Speaker 1: this toxic trauma is going to produce signals, and that's
Speaker 1: your non conscious mind because you have different levels of mind,
Speaker 1: Your no unconscious mind sending a warning signal to your
Speaker 1: conscious mind saying hey, wake up like an alarm wakes
Speaker 1: you up like a fire alarm tells you something is
Speaker 1: going on. There's always a source to how we are
Speaker 1: expressing ourselves in our emotions for areas, our emotions of
Speaker 1: physical sensations in our body, our behaviors, and our perspective
Speaker 1: of how we're looking at life, what does it mean
Speaker 1: to be human and to be alive? And the thought
Speaker 1: of memory thing because at the core, whatever you do
Speaker 1: s human. That's our core. What is our core humanity?
Speaker 1: And what sort of level of regulation do you have?
Speaker 1: So that just kind of the background that the system
Speaker 1: developed out of, out of the need to understand that
Speaker 1: and out of the need to give a patient in
Speaker 1: a severely extreme state of traumatic brain injury or Wildsheimer's
Speaker 1: autism or learning disabilities or something like that to help
Speaker 1: them as well as me and my kids and everyone else,
Speaker 1: because we've all got to mind. Your mind never stops.
Speaker 1: You can go three weeks without food, you can go
Speaker 1: three days without water, you can go three minutes without oxygen,
Speaker 1: but you don't even go through seconds without your mind working.
Speaker 1: It's your engine, and if you're not regulating it, your
Speaker 1: mind is going to be shuffled all over the place.
Speaker 1: Because this mind that drives everything has two major components,
Speaker 1: two sides to it. One is the messy mind and
Speaker 1: one is the wise mind. This is the simplest way
Speaker 1: to understand this, and the wise the messy mind is
Speaker 1: both of them are completely normal. We've all got them,
Speaker 1: and they're both fantastic. The messy mind is how we
Speaker 1: experience life like. We don't know what's coming up. We
Speaker 1: don't control events or circumstances. We can't control people, we
Speaker 1: can't control what happens to us. We can only control
Speaker 1: what happens in us. We can only control our responses.
Speaker 1: So not being able to control is all the messy mind.
Speaker 1: You're basically an experiment in action every moment of every day.
Speaker 1: Because you don't know what I'm going to say next.
Speaker 1: You don't know what's going to happen in the next
Speaker 1: moment when you finish this podcast, you don't know what's
Speaker 1: going to happen tomorrow. So the problem comes in in
Speaker 1: that we've got so caught up in technology and newer reductionism,
Speaker 1: which is focused on the physical and the brain, brain, brain,
Speaker 1: and sort of like trying to get an external goal
Speaker 1: that we've forgotten about the prois of self regulation, which
Speaker 1: is boops, have made a message. Okay, to make a mess,
Speaker 1: because we have been trained to hide anything that we
Speaker 1: have deemed weak. Meanwhile, everything that is supposedly weak with
Speaker 1: toxic is actually a really beautiful, helpful messenger. It is
Speaker 1: your unconscious mind and your brain and your body trying
Speaker 1: to actually dissipate this toxic energy so that you can survive.
Speaker 1: But instead of us welcoming those in which Eastern philosophy
Speaker 1: actually does. And my show this with my research too,
Speaker 1: and there's a lot of research in this field showing
Speaker 1: that when you embrace these emotions and these behaviors and
Speaker 1: these perspectives that are toxic, when you embrace them as
Speaker 1: messengers as opposed to trying to hide them as bad things,
Speaker 1: as symptoms of a disease, you completely shift you on
Speaker 1: your physiology. So as I learned all of this, I
Speaker 1: realized I have to create a system that's going to
Speaker 1: help people to get into the right mind management process
Speaker 1: that they can learn to manage their mind for the
Speaker 1: big stuff, like the big traumas that all of us
Speaker 1: have trauma. There is no one who's examp from trauma.
Speaker 1: We all have depression and anxiety, just it's different degrees
Speaker 1: at different times of our lives, and sometimes it accumulates
Speaker 1: and we crash, and at the times we can keep
Speaker 1: going because there's a normal level of anxiety that we
Speaker 1: all have, and in these extreme versions because of extreme situations.
Speaker 1: But all of those are not diseases. All of those
Speaker 1: are human responses to just being a human in life
Speaker 1: and the city things that happen in life, and the
Speaker 1: nice things that happen in life. It's all our responses.
Speaker 1: But everything is a message. So when you have peace
Speaker 1: and calm, beautiful message, absorb that growth that focus on it,
Speaker 1: which is what sort of meditation and those kind of
Speaker 1: things do. But don't be scared of the bad stuff
Speaker 1: because they're also telling you something beautiful. So what we've
Speaker 1: got to do is help people in those different states
Speaker 1: and ourselves, because all of us have this two different
Speaker 1: degrees at different stages. We've got to level the playing fields,
Speaker 1: tell ourselves it's okay, and manage those processes. And that's
Speaker 1: what the neurocycle is. It can be used in a
Speaker 1: heavy therapeutic sense, which therapists do, and but you want
Speaker 1: to be a therapist. To use it, you just have
Speaker 1: to understand the five steps, and anyone at any age
Speaker 1: can understand them. That's why I bring out the books.
Speaker 1: I've got an app as well, called the New Recycle
Speaker 1: app that we're always growing and adding stuff on and
Speaker 1: everything to help people. But it's basically a delivery system
Speaker 1: for how can I stand back, observe these signals and
Speaker 1: how can I become a detective find out why I'm
Speaker 1: doing them, and then how can I reconceptualize them. The
Speaker 1: abuse happened, the toruma happened, COVID happened, the loss happened,
Speaker 1: the grief, the bully, It has happened. It's happened to you.
Speaker 1: But you can change and reconceptualize what's in you and
Speaker 1: change our place out into the future. Does that makes sense?
Speaker 1: You know it is? And and we said it, you know,
Speaker 1: to start, we were so excited to speak to you.
Speaker 1: Of course, Um, you know, Mental Health Awareness Week shouldn't
Speaker 1: just be limited to a week. It should be you know,
Speaker 1: you're constant time. So that's why we wanted to take
Speaker 1: this opportunity to sort of expand upon that, knowing that
Speaker 1: we don't have as much time with you as we
Speaker 1: obviously want. Um, is that when you mentioned the five steps,
Speaker 1: I mean it says they're simple, scientifically proven steps. Are
Speaker 1: they bullet points or there is something that you can do?
Speaker 1: You know, get the thesis statement of what are those
Speaker 1: five bullet point can give that people can put in
Speaker 1: their pocket and take with them daily. Absolutely, so essentially
Speaker 1: you can use it if you think of it like this. It's,
Speaker 1: as I said, it's a delivery system. So it's basically
Speaker 1: just the way that you organize your mind about everything.
Speaker 1: So the easiest way to learn the system is to
Speaker 1: practice using it for something like a toxic habit or
Speaker 1: a toxic tumor So start at this point. Okay, what
Speaker 1: is a pattern in your life? Start there? I think
Speaker 1: I was listening, just think what is a disruptive pattern
Speaker 1: in my life? At the moment, all of us have
Speaker 1: got something. Actually, probably find that you can maybe five
Speaker 1: or ten, and that's okay, start with number the one
Speaker 1: that's like that you drink is the highest problematic, disruptive
Speaker 1: feature in your life at the moment. Pattern. Okay, that's
Speaker 1: a good place to start. Then once you've identified that,
Speaker 1: then you stand back and you say, okay, this is
Speaker 1: a very normal human reaction. There's nothing wrong with me.
Speaker 1: I'm going through something even linked to let's say it's
Speaker 1: an addiction. Maybe you addicted to something at the moment,
Speaker 1: maybe you like an alcoholic, or you um into drugs
Speaker 1: and that kind of thing. Even that is not that
Speaker 1: you are diseased. It is that you are using that
Speaker 1: as a coping mechanism. So there's a reason why you
Speaker 1: feel the need to be drinking at this stage. You're
Speaker 1: taking drugs or over exercising or under eating or over whatever.
Speaker 1: Everything we do always has reasons. You've got to tell
Speaker 1: yourself that's the pattern that's worrying me, and there's a
Speaker 1: reason why I'm doing it, and it's okay, that's my
Speaker 1: messy mind trying to deal with life. But I have
Speaker 1: a wise mind. Everyone has this at their core. We
Speaker 1: call it wired for love, and literally there's no structure
Speaker 1: in the brain or the body that is wired for
Speaker 1: not managing the mess. We are wired to make a
Speaker 1: mess and manage it. Were wired to make the mistakes,
Speaker 1: repair and grow. We're not wired to not make any mistakes.
Speaker 1: That's a ridiculous goal that we've set in the self
Speaker 1: help industry that you can always be positive and you
Speaker 1: can always attract positive things and just say teen positive
Speaker 1: affirmations and say teen gratitude statements. If you start your
Speaker 1: gratitude diary but you haven't dealt with your core issues,
Speaker 1: you are going to shift a little bit, but you're
Speaker 1: actually going to fall back because you're just trying to
Speaker 1: slap a band aid on a bulletoo. And as one
Speaker 1: of my friends would say, so essentially, you come into
Speaker 1: the neuro cycle with the attitude of it's okay, it's
Speaker 1: okay to do The humans from the beginning of time
Speaker 1: have done lousy things and have battled or have been
Speaker 1: victims of terrible things. All of us need the opportunity
Speaker 1: to be able to express our story because everyone has
Speaker 1: multiple stories, and the longer we suppress that, the more
Speaker 1: we are going to die younger. And just before I
Speaker 1: dive into the steps. We are in an era now
Speaker 1: where we've been the most advanced technologically and medically wise,
Speaker 1: which everyone knows. But what we don't know, which is
Speaker 1: not being spoken about enough, is that despite that, the
Speaker 1: decades trend of people living longer has reversed. So even
Speaker 1: prior to COVID, people have been dying eight to twenty
Speaker 1: five years younger than they should from preventable lifestyle diseases
Speaker 1: in this modern era, can you believe it? So from
Speaker 1: fourteen they picked up the strain and it's from preventable
Speaker 1: lifestyle disease. So people are going from stress induced diseases.
Speaker 1: We've established the link between unmanaged mind and toxic stress
Speaker 1: and physiological damage. If for every unmanaged toxic thought, the
Speaker 1: vulnerability in your body increases, and over time that increases,
Speaker 1: it gets more and more and more. Eventually you can
Speaker 1: be cirty five to vulnerable in your body to disease
Speaker 1: from unmanaged minds. And that's what's happening. People are dying
Speaker 1: from cardiovascular events because they've just never had a chance
Speaker 1: to really process the issues, and then they are developing
Speaker 1: addictions and overall under exercising and eating the wrong foods
Speaker 1: and all of that combines to a lifestyle combination that
Speaker 1: creates chaos and your hot packs up, and that's unnecessary.
Speaker 1: We know enough to not have that happening. We can
Speaker 1: live full, healthy lives even when we sick. People can
Speaker 1: live pretty full healthy lives because that's been shown as well.
Speaker 1: So the neurocycle comes from all of that angle, and
Speaker 1: it's so important that you come from that mindset. So
Speaker 1: essentially it's very systematic. It drives the brain. I've actually
Speaker 1: got a chart in the book, and the chart breaks
Speaker 1: down the five steps. It's a very simple overview of
Speaker 1: see which pages are. If anyone who's got the book
Speaker 1: or getting the book on page one, but there's a
Speaker 1: chance that has the five steps in the middle of
Speaker 1: the book, and I say, step one is this, and
Speaker 1: then it does this in the brain, this in the body,
Speaker 1: this in the mind, because those are three different things.
Speaker 1: And so the first thing is that whole mindset stuff
Speaker 1: I've just given you. They come in with that attitude.
Speaker 1: This is helpful. It's so critical. I cannot stress that
Speaker 1: enough because if you don't, you're going to come into
Speaker 1: the neurocycle concept beating yourself, being unkind to yourself and
Speaker 1: already fourteen d physiological responses are working against you, so
Speaker 1: your resilience is already dropped. So for example, if you think, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm bad and this is terrible, and I'm sick and
Speaker 1: I'm brained, I'm crazy, I'm this and I'm useless and
Speaker 1: I'm shame, and you know, I've got to do this
Speaker 1: and it's another thing I've got to do. And if
Speaker 1: you come in with that, one of the fourteen hundred
Speaker 1: responses that will happen is that the blood this is
Speaker 1: around your heart will constrict, and instead of constricting and
Speaker 1: relaxing and constricting and relaxing, they'll stay in a constricted
Speaker 1: straight chronically so for long period. That will decrease blood
Speaker 1: flow and oxygen to your brain, which will decrease your
Speaker 1: ability to think clearly and increase your chance of a stroke.
Speaker 1: So that's not a good thing. And then then you
Speaker 1: get another signal to your kidneys to increase the salt
Speaker 1: water in your blood to constrict the blood vessels again,
Speaker 1: but just supposed to only be a temporary thing. To
Speaker 1: have a bursting blood pressure, then it's supposed to relax,
Speaker 1: but then it doesn't stop, so you can hyper attension
Speaker 1: your blood pressure increases, and that also increases your risk
Speaker 1: of stroke and cumulatively, over time, these things just break
Speaker 1: down our body. But if we come in and say
Speaker 1: life is so hard, this has happened, that's happened, and
Speaker 1: we're all honest about it, three percent of leaders are
Speaker 1: only talking about this. If of us were saying, I
Speaker 1: had such a lousy day, this is the field I'm
Speaker 1: going to this in my life, and we all accept
Speaker 1: it with each other. It becomes the norm to be
Speaker 1: able to express and support and get it out, we
Speaker 1: would find a much healthier society. We wouldn't have such
Speaker 1: a broken identities and song because you're trying to hide
Speaker 1: behind this venea and pretend everything is cool and wonderful
Speaker 1: when it's not, and it's and it's okay that it's not.
Speaker 1: And then just to get down to the practical brass
Speaker 1: text routes, this cycle works over sixties three days. One
Speaker 1: of the things that I did research is how long
Speaker 1: does it take to add actually breakdown a memory and
Speaker 1: to change to that it's the new memory that sorry
Speaker 1: thought sorts are made of memories. That's the thought, and
Speaker 1: then all the little branches of the memories, So memories
Speaker 1: are different too, thoughts thoughts the concept tree, and then
Speaker 1: the detail is in the memory, so the feeling memories,
Speaker 1: data memories, what happened, that's all the roots, branches, etcetera. Okay,
Speaker 1: so it takes twenty one days to actually build a
Speaker 1: memory of a concept. Okay, so twenty one days to
Speaker 1: to build something, So it takes to any one days
Speaker 1: also to break down then, but that's sort a habit.
Speaker 1: We've always been told that habits form in two any
Speaker 1: one days. That's a meth It was just a myth
Speaker 1: that's been promulgated. It's not science at all. It takes
Speaker 1: an average sixty to sixty six days, right, I found
Speaker 1: in my research sixty three days, but it will take
Speaker 1: a couple of days on other side. And it's three
Speaker 1: cycles of twenty one. And the first cycle is where
Speaker 1: you identify from the signals to the root of what's happening,
Speaker 1: and you deconstruct and you reconstruct, and that process takes
Speaker 1: about twenty one days, and sometimes you only do part
Speaker 1: of it and then you have to do another cycle.
Speaker 1: Then once you've created got to this point, you then
Speaker 1: spend another forty two days turning this into a habit.
Speaker 1: Because This is hard work, and you don't build rome
Speaker 1: in a day. You can't fix it in one cycle
Speaker 1: each day. It's designed that your brain as a little
Speaker 1: bit each day. That's how you are sustainable. And it
Speaker 1: can take a bit of discipline to get yourself back
Speaker 1: into it. Like if you've got no exercise routine, it
Speaker 1: takes you. It's the same principle operating. But once you've
Speaker 1: done one cycle, it changes your life completely because you
Speaker 1: suddenly see, hey, I feel depressed, but I don't have
Speaker 1: to stay there. It doesn't have to affect my whole day,
Speaker 1: my whole life, my every relationship. I can actually manage this.
Speaker 1: I can get through this. You Also, it's such a
Speaker 1: relief because it's okay to feel like this. I'm not
Speaker 1: a bad person. I'm not a broken person, not a
Speaker 1: brain disease. But I'm not crazy. I'm just a normal
Speaker 1: human who's going through life. This is just a signal,
Speaker 1: this is just a response. There is a reason. So
Speaker 1: the first step then is is to gather awareness. The
Speaker 1: second step is reflects the third and fourth or right steps,
Speaker 1: and the first step is an action step that disciplines
Speaker 1: you to not ruminate. That's basically the essence of it
Speaker 1: in the first step, which is called other awareness. Gather
Speaker 1: is every word, every description has been very scientifically tested.
Speaker 1: Gather is an agency giving word. It's an empowering word.
Speaker 1: It means that I'm not being having I don't have
Speaker 1: all the apple treese falling on my head of life.
Speaker 1: You all sitting under the apple tree. Everything is falling
Speaker 1: on my head and I'm overwhelmed. I'm not doing that.
Speaker 1: I'm actually standing back and I'm selecting. I'll pick that
Speaker 1: apple today. I can only deal with that apple. I'll
Speaker 1: gather that one. I'll put that in my basket. I'll
Speaker 1: become aware of that and I'll deal with that today.
Speaker 1: So it's a gathering of awareness too that you control
Speaker 1: the process. Now, there's four basic areas that you gather
Speaker 1: awareness of, but before you do that, you need to
Speaker 1: prepare your brain. So as you sit down and start
Speaker 1: the neurocycle, if you do the app you'll see there's
Speaker 1: a two to three minute little preparation exercise and that's
Speaker 1: the breathing stuff for meditation or tapping or havening or
Speaker 1: like all these little different exercises that change your neurophysiology
Speaker 1: and bring your neurochemistry into balance and balance the two
Speaker 1: sides of your brain. And they don't fix anything, They
Speaker 1: just increase awareness and they propel your brain and body
Speaker 1: for the work. So I call all of that brain preparation,
Speaker 1: and then you can do in your life that then
Speaker 1: do a little brain preparation before and then you dive
Speaker 1: into the five steps, of which gathered witness is the
Speaker 1: first I wish I had all the time with you,
Speaker 1: I think. If that that's exactly why it's important for
Speaker 1: everyone to go out and grab this book because there's
Speaker 1: so many layers to reversing the neurocycle and reversing you know,
Speaker 1: even why we wanted to have you one today and
Speaker 1: again thank you for bringing here, was to reverse the
Speaker 1: stereotypes and the stigmas that are attached to mental health,
Speaker 1: and that there are so many layers and as you've
Speaker 1: demonstrated in your UM, your plant analogy the root system.
Speaker 1: So it is so important for everyone to educate themselves
Speaker 1: on that because we don't want those kinds of plants
Speaker 1: in our mind. UM Cleaning up your mental mess The
Speaker 1: five simple, scientifically proven steps to reduce anxiety, stress, and
Speaker 1: toxic thinking. Caroline Leaf, thank you so much. You also
Speaker 1: have your podcast, which will dive into this even further.
Speaker 1: I I'm first of all, I didn't even know there
Speaker 1: was a difference between brain and mind until speaking to you,
Speaker 1: so I most people don't. Yeah. So I I have
Speaker 1: a lot of things to explore. And you've done an
Speaker 1: incredible job of educating our our listeners and viewers in
Speaker 1: a short amount of time. I know that I've now
Speaker 1: want to scratch the surface further. So thank you, so
Speaker 1: so so much. Thank you, Thanks me on your show,
Speaker 1: Bye bye, thank you. Welcome back, everybody. This is the
Speaker 1: Calm Down Podcast, and I will not calm down about
Speaker 1: the education. Dr Caroline Leaf just schooled us in I
Speaker 1: whenever I hear someone like that, and I know you
Speaker 1: probably feel the same way, I'm humbled by like I
Speaker 1: don't know anything. I mean, I didn't even know the
Speaker 1: difference between the mind and the brain. But I am
Speaker 1: so curious because I mean, Aaron, our background in sports,
Speaker 1: you know, you hear it all the time that this
Speaker 1: thing it's sports or mental and ten percent physical, and
Speaker 1: you know players ability to compartmentalize things that are going
Speaker 1: on and then have their actions follow I just I definitely,
Speaker 1: I mean, I couldn't understand everything she was saying because
Speaker 1: just so smart. But I'm curious to to dive more
Speaker 1: into her book. And I know that it's important for
Speaker 1: me to get out of my head with certain things
Speaker 1: and understand why we think the way that we do.
Speaker 1: How did you feel about it all? Well, two things. Um,
Speaker 1: the brain is very interesting to me because I mean,
Speaker 1: I married somebody who had a lot of head injuries.
Speaker 1: You know, we're around guys that have done that, So
Speaker 1: I'm always curious about like brain and mental exercises and
Speaker 1: things like that. Um, you know, And I thought that
Speaker 1: was so refreshing story she first told about somebody that
Speaker 1: suffered an accident and getting them back on track physically
Speaker 1: as well as mentally. I love the fact that you
Speaker 1: can go in and kind of re teach yourself, so
Speaker 1: I thought that was huge. I also wanted to ask,
Speaker 1: but I know we were short on time. Just I
Speaker 1: didn't need to ask because I get it how much
Speaker 1: you need to take care of your mental your mentals,
Speaker 1: Marshall Lynch, because your physicals physicals. Yeah, well then follow
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. I mean, I am so
Speaker 1: convinced and this is so crazy. And while we're getting
Speaker 1: deep today on this one. I mean after my whole
Speaker 1: thing with the you know, stalking incident, and then I
Speaker 1: was on trial my dad. Well, first of all, after
Speaker 1: I was um, we found out I had a stalker,
Speaker 1: and that whole thing came out. My dad three months
Speaker 1: later was diagnosed with prostate cancer. And I am convinced
Speaker 1: in my head that was because of this dress that
Speaker 1: my family was going through. After my trial, which was
Speaker 1: the most anxiety, maybe besides this week I've ever suffered
Speaker 1: in my life, I was diagnosed with cervical cancer. And
Speaker 1: I do believe that if you and I do and
Speaker 1: I love you, and you've said this to me, and
Speaker 1: my girlfriends have been saying it to me all week,
Speaker 1: you keep your ship in, it's gonna come out another way,
Speaker 1: and it's not going to be a healthy way. And
Speaker 1: I think I didn't need her to say that, but
Speaker 1: she was getting around to it. And I've got this
Speaker 1: book coming tomorrow and I can't wait to crack it
Speaker 1: open because I have such a journey to be on
Speaker 1: right now for myself and for my family that I
Speaker 1: need to get my head clear and right. And I
Speaker 1: was curious when you were sitting there listening to her.
Speaker 1: I hold my tension in my chest and in my throat.
Speaker 1: Were you feeling any any bit of anxiousness when because
Speaker 1: you were thinking of your own traumas. Yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: I I don't. I don't feel it physically the way
Speaker 1: that you do. I think I feel things so emotionally. Hence,
Speaker 1: like why when you're hurting like I cry, or like
Speaker 1: when like whether we have a fight or whether Kyle
Speaker 1: or whatever have a fight, like I cry, Like that's
Speaker 1: my release. But I think that going back to what
Speaker 1: you're saying, that that's good because I don't, right, that's
Speaker 1: my release of things or you know, you and I
Speaker 1: always talk about it. If we're in a bad mood,
Speaker 1: go for a run, get on the bike, like we
Speaker 1: need to release that. I mean, by the way, I've
Speaker 1: been hitting personal records on this platon this week like
Speaker 1: nobody's business. I've been fucking crushing the ship silver. That's
Speaker 1: what we're talking about. Um. But yeah, it's definitely a release,
Speaker 1: think about it. I Mean, I'm no doctor, but like
Speaker 1: serotonin levels and endorphins and all of those things. That's
Speaker 1: crazy though I had never until you just mentioned it,
Speaker 1: that correlation between your health and your father's health and
Speaker 1: all the stress, and then I think to myself like,
Speaker 1: holy shit, like haven't you been through enough? And it's
Speaker 1: that that thing of you know, my dad always talks
Speaker 1: about it's not what happens to you, it's how you
Speaker 1: react to what happened to you. And when she mentioned
Speaker 1: that in you know, and even the short amount of
Speaker 1: time we got with her, I thought about that. I
Speaker 1: was like, like, that's it's so mental. How your next
Speaker 1: steps of what you're gonna do, independent of something you
Speaker 1: couldn't control, could define what happens after that, or you know,
Speaker 1: same thing for me. I mean, I had that weird
Speaker 1: guy that's stocker guy, and then I had that the
Speaker 1: hacking of my phone and all of that stuff that
Speaker 1: came out, and I remember, you know, my dad being like,
Speaker 1: all right, you get a couple of days to be sad,
Speaker 1: and now we're next play mentality in this household that
Speaker 1: guess what, four quarters, there's been a few turnovers, some
Speaker 1: of them not your fault, but guess what, this game
Speaker 1: ain't over, and you get a choice on if you
Speaker 1: want to win or if you want to lose, and
Speaker 1: it's all predicated on your actions in response to it.
Speaker 1: So I I believe in exhausting all options. And it
Speaker 1: starts with that mental mindset of this thing ain't over,
Speaker 1: so you know, you we can sit and cry about things,
Speaker 1: or we can put actions to it. And so I
Speaker 1: just sort of was raised in that more of that
Speaker 1: you know mentality of um, okay, well that can sucks,
Speaker 1: but let's go. It sounds like a peck talk I
Speaker 1: got the other morning as I was walking my dog,
Speaker 1: and you know what's great about that, I was crying
Speaker 1: so hard with you and I just had all this
Speaker 1: crap coming down my nose. I had how He's leash
Speaker 1: in one hand, I had the phone in the other
Speaker 1: and a poop bag in the other so I couldn't
Speaker 1: wipe the ship coming out of my nose. Like I
Speaker 1: literally walked in the house and like Jarrett was making
Speaker 1: coffee and getting out and he's like okay, and I
Speaker 1: was like, I just got and he was like, you
Speaker 1: need a tissue. I was like, but I got a
Speaker 1: poop bag. Bull. I love you, and you know what,
Speaker 1: life is full of a bunch of ship literally. But
Speaker 1: another thing too that I love about you is there's
Speaker 1: humor involved in all of this, and we have to
Speaker 1: laugh because that releases again, not a doctor, some positivity
Speaker 1: and not again. This has been a very heavy podcast.
Speaker 1: But remember when Alyssa got her brain to my niece
Speaker 1: diagnosed with a brain tumor at six years old, and
Speaker 1: you were there for me every step of the way.
Speaker 1: And I was a mess. You know who wasn't a mess? Alyssa?
Speaker 1: You know what she did. People would bring like, you know,
Speaker 1: stuffed animals and balloons and flowers into her room. At
Speaker 1: six years old, she goes, guys, I don't really need
Speaker 1: any more presents. Can you just make a financial donation
Speaker 1: to help the other kids at Children's hospital. She then
Speaker 1: went on television and donated a check for other children
Speaker 1: with pediatric cancer. I said, you know, and now listens
Speaker 1: in college and like all of these things, and I
Speaker 1: just think about her, you know, and how six years
Speaker 1: old with a brain tumor and other kids are like
Speaker 1: outside playing and she's raising money. I'm like, Jesus, I
Speaker 1: need to like your gorgeous niece. And then all she
Speaker 1: wanted to do was go to Dancing with Stars and
Speaker 1: Aaron took her and like it was like the night
Speaker 1: of her life. But just anyway, I just love you
Speaker 1: and you make an impact on people, and we're here
Speaker 1: for you. And I hope anyone listening that's going through
Speaker 1: anything that they're going through knows that support your you know,
Speaker 1: surround yourself with good people and just know that the
Speaker 1: game ain't over even if you think it is. And
Speaker 1: watch the Friends reunion if you feel like crap, make
Speaker 1: you feel so good. Dr Caroline Leave. Her book is available.
Speaker 1: I know, Aaron, you just bought it. She also has
Speaker 1: a podcast, and I'm going to dive more into how
Speaker 1: I can be a better wife and friends and all
Speaker 1: the other things. So I love you, love you, love you,
Speaker 1: love you, Aaron, and love you for everybody listening and watching.
Speaker 1: Thank you for letting us open up. And Rachel please
Speaker 1: date come on. We will not calm down on that now.
Speaker 1: It's the singer of that. What the I'll be there
Speaker 1: for you. What's the was it the rem brand boom?
Speaker 1: Did you pull that? Fuck? Fucking Hey? That was sexy?
Speaker 1: Calm Down with Aaron and Carissa is a production of
Speaker 1: I Heart Radio. For more podcasts from my heart Radio,
Speaker 1: visit the I heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever
Speaker 1: you get your podcast