1 00:00:00,520 --> 00:00:02,880 Speaker 1: Calm Down with Aaron and Carissa is a production of 2 00:00:02,960 --> 00:00:07,640 Speaker 1: I Heart Radio four three two. You're not saying the one? 3 00:00:07,880 --> 00:00:09,520 Speaker 1: I am not doing it? Do you kind when when 4 00:00:09,520 --> 00:00:11,479 Speaker 1: we start an interview when they do that clap thing. 5 00:00:11,680 --> 00:00:14,600 Speaker 1: I still have no idea why they don't. I don't either. 6 00:00:14,720 --> 00:00:17,079 Speaker 1: Joel Santos, this one's for you. He always does it 7 00:00:17,120 --> 00:00:19,360 Speaker 1: and I either try to put my tongue right through it. 8 00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:24,040 Speaker 1: And I also think it's like the gator chalk. Hi everyone, Yeah, Hi, 9 00:00:24,560 --> 00:00:27,000 Speaker 1: Welcome to our tangents. This is usually when we sit 10 00:00:27,040 --> 00:00:31,440 Speaker 1: down with Dak Prescott, Aaron Rodgers, Aaron Rodgers, do we 11 00:00:31,480 --> 00:00:34,440 Speaker 1: have a ton of questions for you? Aloha and mahollow 12 00:00:34,960 --> 00:00:38,479 Speaker 1: millik leaky maka is the thing to say, um my 13 00:00:38,680 --> 00:00:41,840 Speaker 1: love of life. We always take our podcast on Mondays, 14 00:00:41,920 --> 00:00:43,879 Speaker 1: so this will air later on in the week, but 15 00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:47,120 Speaker 1: it was Memorial Day weekend. Did we have a good time? 16 00:00:47,200 --> 00:00:50,080 Speaker 1: What's going on over there? We had a good time here? 17 00:00:50,159 --> 00:00:52,639 Speaker 1: We uh we let off some steam? Can we can 18 00:00:52,680 --> 00:00:54,640 Speaker 1: we talk about some news and notes before we get 19 00:00:54,640 --> 00:00:57,200 Speaker 1: to the price in the Lows? How about the news? 20 00:00:57,320 --> 00:00:59,320 Speaker 1: And I think I tipped you off of this earlier 21 00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:02,680 Speaker 1: of the map with Tom Brady and Aaron Rodgers. Yeah, 22 00:01:02,760 --> 00:01:07,360 Speaker 1: I know I need an invite attorney. You're always welcome back. 23 00:01:07,640 --> 00:01:09,839 Speaker 1: This is what I want. I mean, we can't work 24 00:01:09,880 --> 00:01:12,880 Speaker 1: the event obviously because it's on Turner Sports, which I'm 25 00:01:12,959 --> 00:01:16,039 Speaker 1: jealous Fox. Why didn't we get this? Can Charles Barkley 26 00:01:16,080 --> 00:01:20,160 Speaker 1: please just be out there and be the roaming I 27 00:01:20,200 --> 00:01:22,600 Speaker 1: guess reporter on the golf course that you can't call 28 00:01:22,680 --> 00:01:25,280 Speaker 1: the sideline reporter. What do they call those reporters? I 29 00:01:25,280 --> 00:01:27,560 Speaker 1: don't know. But put him anywhere in the bunker, in 30 00:01:27,600 --> 00:01:30,800 Speaker 1: the trees. I mean, where's Waldo. Just get him out 31 00:01:30,880 --> 00:01:33,720 Speaker 1: on the links, to the windows, to the walls. I mean, 32 00:01:34,080 --> 00:01:38,479 Speaker 1: this guy these Yeah, I'm so excited about it. I mean, 33 00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:42,360 Speaker 1: Tom Brady, you're gonna be Yeah, We're gonna be there, 34 00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:44,880 Speaker 1: very much looking forward to it. Um. You know, we 35 00:01:44,920 --> 00:01:48,280 Speaker 1: could even do a live podcast during it. Aaron Andrews 36 00:01:48,360 --> 00:01:53,000 Speaker 1: reporting here from the match in Big Sky, montanner Um 37 00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:56,720 Speaker 1: with Tom, Jared and I were saying, this guy, this 38 00:01:56,760 --> 00:01:59,600 Speaker 1: freaking guy, he didn't stop. He was just putting the 39 00:01:59,800 --> 00:02:04,400 Speaker 1: zers out there on social media. It wasn't amazing. I 40 00:02:04,480 --> 00:02:08,200 Speaker 1: was gonna say this social media is next level, like 41 00:02:08,280 --> 00:02:11,079 Speaker 1: the second he left New England, that ship just like 42 00:02:11,280 --> 00:02:13,600 Speaker 1: ramps right up there was the cartoons that came out. 43 00:02:13,639 --> 00:02:16,320 Speaker 1: All that stuff. Well, according to the media, I'm in 44 00:02:16,360 --> 00:02:20,240 Speaker 1: love with Tom Brady, which you have always going to go. Well, 45 00:02:20,280 --> 00:02:22,160 Speaker 1: I mean if i'd because like so, I didn't know 46 00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:24,880 Speaker 1: you're that into Brady, Huh, like I am now. I mean, 47 00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:28,720 Speaker 1: I just I'm so turned on by winners and like 48 00:02:28,800 --> 00:02:31,120 Speaker 1: when he went Look, I always loved him in New 49 00:02:31,160 --> 00:02:34,399 Speaker 1: England five and the whole thing, but when he went 50 00:02:34,440 --> 00:02:37,600 Speaker 1: to Tampa and it was like watch me work. It 51 00:02:37,680 --> 00:02:40,840 Speaker 1: was so hot to me because I just love somebody that, 52 00:02:41,200 --> 00:02:43,080 Speaker 1: you know. I refer to this statement a lot, but 53 00:02:43,160 --> 00:02:46,000 Speaker 1: ray Lewis said, the difference between great and greatness is 54 00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:49,679 Speaker 1: an individual is great and greatness is making everyone else 55 00:02:49,720 --> 00:02:52,160 Speaker 1: around you better. And like that's what I saw. And granted, 56 00:02:52,160 --> 00:02:54,480 Speaker 1: of course the defense was phenomenal all the other parts, 57 00:02:54,760 --> 00:02:58,080 Speaker 1: but that you know, Brady Brady factor. So I'm excited 58 00:02:58,120 --> 00:03:00,240 Speaker 1: to I'm jealous that you're going to be there for it. 59 00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:03,799 Speaker 1: When is it again? July six? Stole, I mean, it's 60 00:03:03,800 --> 00:03:06,680 Speaker 1: etched into the wall. That's the funny part. Yes, the 61 00:03:06,680 --> 00:03:10,840 Speaker 1: the uh, the clickbait, the newspapers had fun with you 62 00:03:10,919 --> 00:03:13,200 Speaker 1: throwing game at Tom Brady. That's not what you were doing. 63 00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:15,639 Speaker 1: Read the artist and that's not what you're doing. My 64 00:03:15,720 --> 00:03:18,079 Speaker 1: favorite is when people come after me and they're like, oh, 65 00:03:18,120 --> 00:03:21,399 Speaker 1: you're always commenting on Tom's I g Eron's just trying 66 00:03:21,440 --> 00:03:24,120 Speaker 1: to shoot or shot. No, that's not me. Have you 67 00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:27,040 Speaker 1: met my husband. He wears the cologne. He wears this 68 00:03:27,120 --> 00:03:32,239 Speaker 1: outfit like our household is obset. We love as friends 69 00:03:32,240 --> 00:03:35,080 Speaker 1: with him, Yeah, yeah, but he's just the freaking man. 70 00:03:35,320 --> 00:03:37,920 Speaker 1: I mean exactly what you said, like we obviously loved 71 00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:39,520 Speaker 1: him when we met him and he's in New England, 72 00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:42,200 Speaker 1: but exactly how he came and just laid it down 73 00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:46,960 Speaker 1: and slayed in Tampa was like, okay, you do you 74 00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:51,160 Speaker 1: lows of your week? How like you look like you 75 00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:53,400 Speaker 1: at a time at the lake? Well, I look like 76 00:03:53,440 --> 00:03:55,360 Speaker 1: I have a lot of foundation on. Is what I 77 00:03:55,400 --> 00:03:57,240 Speaker 1: look like when I'm in this reverse. I don't even 78 00:03:57,280 --> 00:04:00,760 Speaker 1: it's one. It's this new arm like sun glow. I 79 00:04:00,760 --> 00:04:02,680 Speaker 1: know you have like a glow happening for your listeners. 80 00:04:02,680 --> 00:04:04,280 Speaker 1: This is very boring, but it looks like I just 81 00:04:04,360 --> 00:04:06,680 Speaker 1: went to the mac counter and tried on all their products. 82 00:04:07,240 --> 00:04:11,360 Speaker 1: Um I did. I had a little gal's weekend up 83 00:04:11,360 --> 00:04:13,920 Speaker 1: at the lake. Of course you're always invited, but you have, 84 00:04:14,080 --> 00:04:15,440 Speaker 1: um a lot of other friends, which I don't know 85 00:04:15,440 --> 00:04:17,880 Speaker 1: if I'm into you having other friends. Whenever I hear 86 00:04:17,920 --> 00:04:19,480 Speaker 1: you say like, oh, I was with my girlfriends, I'm like, 87 00:04:19,520 --> 00:04:21,400 Speaker 1: I don't like you having any other friends other than me. 88 00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:25,320 Speaker 1: Um that said, fun time at the lake, and then 89 00:04:25,360 --> 00:04:28,159 Speaker 1: I came back in house and home. I've converted my 90 00:04:28,160 --> 00:04:32,919 Speaker 1: garage into an office. So exciting. That's finished. So the 91 00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:36,240 Speaker 1: low is, UM, I I think that I'm not being 92 00:04:36,240 --> 00:04:38,520 Speaker 1: a very good wife and I need to work on 93 00:04:38,520 --> 00:04:41,680 Speaker 1: this because I'm getting now that COVID's over and we're 94 00:04:41,720 --> 00:04:44,960 Speaker 1: back into our independent lifestyles. Like I'm getting back into 95 00:04:45,040 --> 00:04:46,840 Speaker 1: that I need to make a concerted effort to spend 96 00:04:46,839 --> 00:04:50,080 Speaker 1: more time with my husband since we're bicoastal. So I'm 97 00:04:50,120 --> 00:04:52,680 Speaker 1: going to work on that, and I'm going to um 98 00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:54,960 Speaker 1: as my therapist said, I need to throw on a 99 00:04:55,040 --> 00:04:57,599 Speaker 1: dress every now and then and be the lady in 100 00:04:57,680 --> 00:05:00,640 Speaker 1: the relationship and UM so up. So I'm going to 101 00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:03,320 Speaker 1: work on that. That's my low because I was just 102 00:05:03,400 --> 00:05:05,880 Speaker 1: being irritable for no reason and I shouldn't do that. 103 00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:08,880 Speaker 1: So I'm it's more of like throwing a dress and 104 00:05:08,920 --> 00:05:11,640 Speaker 1: make some dinner, which by the way, sounds so incredibly sexy, 105 00:05:12,120 --> 00:05:15,280 Speaker 1: or like what is it, what's your first step? Yeah, 106 00:05:15,360 --> 00:05:17,120 Speaker 1: and my and my therapist is great the reason, And 107 00:05:17,120 --> 00:05:19,080 Speaker 1: it's not like sexist or anything. That is just more 108 00:05:19,080 --> 00:05:21,640 Speaker 1: of like the softer side of sears. Remember that campaign. 109 00:05:21,839 --> 00:05:25,000 Speaker 1: Anyone that's like under the age of forty doesn't Uh yeah, no, 110 00:05:25,040 --> 00:05:27,240 Speaker 1: I think I just sometimes I'm going back into my 111 00:05:27,320 --> 00:05:30,320 Speaker 1: and you can understand this, like our independent ways where 112 00:05:30,320 --> 00:05:32,479 Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't need anyone, and I'm like, okay, 113 00:05:32,560 --> 00:05:34,480 Speaker 1: there's a you know, so I'm gonna work on that. 114 00:05:34,560 --> 00:05:37,039 Speaker 1: But that's my side tangent. So that was my low 115 00:05:37,600 --> 00:05:39,560 Speaker 1: um to just be more cognizant that I guess when 116 00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:43,320 Speaker 1: you get married, there's another person in the relationship. So 117 00:05:43,360 --> 00:05:45,880 Speaker 1: that's what I'm doing. What about you've was SPF not 118 00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:48,680 Speaker 1: available at the lake this weekend? I know it wasn't 119 00:05:48,680 --> 00:05:50,800 Speaker 1: picture red rope. I'm gonna have to go and get 120 00:05:50,800 --> 00:05:53,400 Speaker 1: a lot of lasering. Look at this burnt situation and 121 00:05:54,200 --> 00:05:57,159 Speaker 1: in your forties, by the way, I stop it. I 122 00:05:57,240 --> 00:05:58,960 Speaker 1: just hit the table and Daisy got up. It's okay. 123 00:05:59,080 --> 00:06:01,960 Speaker 1: The dog, um, the dog by dog. Yeah, it's a 124 00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:05,200 Speaker 1: little red. Don't you hate it when you ever get 125 00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:07,320 Speaker 1: like burnt and someone's like, oh, you're looking a little red. 126 00:06:07,520 --> 00:06:10,240 Speaker 1: I'm like, it'll be a tan, don't worry about it. 127 00:06:10,640 --> 00:06:12,640 Speaker 1: But this is also a lot of laser treatments. Then 128 00:06:13,440 --> 00:06:15,080 Speaker 1: that's also, by the way, what I used to do 129 00:06:15,240 --> 00:06:17,680 Speaker 1: on the daily growing up in Florida, and now I'm 130 00:06:17,680 --> 00:06:21,000 Speaker 1: paying for it now with just this skin. And yeah, 131 00:06:21,040 --> 00:06:24,560 Speaker 1: all the laser treatments. Um. Yeah, tough week in the 132 00:06:24,760 --> 00:06:28,760 Speaker 1: Andrew Stole Household. I feel like I throughout my life, 133 00:06:28,760 --> 00:06:30,880 Speaker 1: well not my life, but over the last few years 134 00:06:30,920 --> 00:06:33,919 Speaker 1: have not been shy with my battle with cervical cancer 135 00:06:34,720 --> 00:06:37,240 Speaker 1: and so forth. And there's a lot of things you 136 00:06:37,279 --> 00:06:40,040 Speaker 1: deal with after you have it, and infertility is one 137 00:06:40,080 --> 00:06:44,279 Speaker 1: of them. And it was a devastating week, to say 138 00:06:44,279 --> 00:06:48,760 Speaker 1: the least in our house. And um, you know, it's 139 00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:51,880 Speaker 1: interesting because I think I shared with you last month 140 00:06:52,080 --> 00:06:56,000 Speaker 1: that a couple of videos right on Instagram is my 141 00:06:56,080 --> 00:07:00,920 Speaker 1: voice quiver so cute, um, And people have very embarrassed 142 00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:03,320 Speaker 1: to talk about this stuff. And I was joking with 143 00:07:03,360 --> 00:07:05,479 Speaker 1: you this week be as we were kind of going 144 00:07:05,520 --> 00:07:07,200 Speaker 1: through all my crap and I was like, you want 145 00:07:07,200 --> 00:07:10,000 Speaker 1: me to be another spokesperson? All be another spokesperson. What 146 00:07:10,200 --> 00:07:13,640 Speaker 1: it's like, what movie or what show is up from? 147 00:07:13,680 --> 00:07:15,680 Speaker 1: What do you want for me? But yeah, it's like 148 00:07:16,400 --> 00:07:18,440 Speaker 1: look to my husband this week and it's like ship, 149 00:07:18,880 --> 00:07:22,040 Speaker 1: here we go. I'm another freaking spokesperson of something. But 150 00:07:22,680 --> 00:07:26,160 Speaker 1: I think what makes me so mad and piste off 151 00:07:26,200 --> 00:07:29,160 Speaker 1: about this whole situation is that people are so embarrassed 152 00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:32,680 Speaker 1: to talk about this and they shouldn't be. And uh, 153 00:07:32,720 --> 00:07:34,840 Speaker 1: you know, I'm excited today for our guests coming up 154 00:07:34,880 --> 00:07:38,840 Speaker 1: because it's about stress and anxiety, and the stress and 155 00:07:38,840 --> 00:07:43,040 Speaker 1: anxiety and disappointment and grief in our house has never 156 00:07:43,080 --> 00:07:49,560 Speaker 1: been bigger. And um that's my low, my high wise, um, 157 00:07:49,600 --> 00:07:53,480 Speaker 1: my group of just people and this is my husband 158 00:07:53,480 --> 00:07:57,000 Speaker 1: included that we were able to talk to you about this, 159 00:07:57,200 --> 00:08:00,800 Speaker 1: and again, what's so crazy about this whole journey for 160 00:08:00,920 --> 00:08:03,960 Speaker 1: us is that we learned so much. So many people 161 00:08:04,360 --> 00:08:06,600 Speaker 1: deal with this, and we learned that they are afraid 162 00:08:06,680 --> 00:08:09,920 Speaker 1: to say something, and we are so lucky to have 163 00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:14,320 Speaker 1: the core group of people that we do. You included, Um, 164 00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:16,440 Speaker 1: I walked my dog the other day and called you 165 00:08:16,480 --> 00:08:19,960 Speaker 1: and baled my brains out and um, you were just 166 00:08:20,320 --> 00:08:22,480 Speaker 1: you listen, But then you gave me a stern talking 167 00:08:22,480 --> 00:08:25,680 Speaker 1: to and I appreciated it. But also like the men 168 00:08:26,120 --> 00:08:29,080 Speaker 1: that have reached out, and that's very much to do 169 00:08:29,120 --> 00:08:31,960 Speaker 1: with my husband's circle, and just getting text from them 170 00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:35,080 Speaker 1: and their heartbreak for us was huge. But I will 171 00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:38,960 Speaker 1: tell you this when there's another high after this. Um, 172 00:08:39,160 --> 00:08:41,800 Speaker 1: if you were dealing with this out there and men included, 173 00:08:42,160 --> 00:08:44,240 Speaker 1: talk to your people. I mean, we're talking so much 174 00:08:44,240 --> 00:08:47,200 Speaker 1: about mental health today. You cannot keep this in. You 175 00:08:47,280 --> 00:08:49,280 Speaker 1: have to talk and lean on your people. And even 176 00:08:49,280 --> 00:08:53,560 Speaker 1: though it's like a really sensitive, horrible subject, like your friends, 177 00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:58,800 Speaker 1: they will understand. And two girlfriends in my life, Crissa 178 00:08:58,880 --> 00:09:02,920 Speaker 1: Thompson and my other girlfriend Megan Mitchell. I just bitched 179 00:09:02,920 --> 00:09:04,559 Speaker 1: to you the other day and balled to you, and 180 00:09:04,640 --> 00:09:07,280 Speaker 1: then I texted Megan and I bitched to her about 181 00:09:07,320 --> 00:09:10,680 Speaker 1: something and you both said the same thing to me. Okay, 182 00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:13,439 Speaker 1: you know what, you do have it in you to continue. 183 00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:16,840 Speaker 1: Let's pretend your TV twelve and this is your freaking 184 00:09:16,880 --> 00:09:20,440 Speaker 1: super Bowl and let's fucking go. And I said to 185 00:09:20,520 --> 00:09:22,480 Speaker 1: both of you, my god, you both know me. So 186 00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:24,480 Speaker 1: well to bring it back to Tom Brady. So there 187 00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:27,640 Speaker 1: I am shooting my shot again. I will also tell 188 00:09:27,679 --> 00:09:30,520 Speaker 1: you another high. WI was as shitty as we felt 189 00:09:30,559 --> 00:09:32,959 Speaker 1: in this house. This week we turned on The Friends 190 00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:36,640 Speaker 1: Reunion and it was so good and we both said, 191 00:09:36,679 --> 00:09:38,880 Speaker 1: thank god we watched it, and did you watch it? 192 00:09:39,080 --> 00:09:41,280 Speaker 1: I did, And first of all, I want to commend 193 00:09:41,320 --> 00:09:43,960 Speaker 1: you as and now I'm going to cry because I 194 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:47,120 Speaker 1: just love you so much. And good friends are like 195 00:09:47,200 --> 00:09:50,079 Speaker 1: extensions of Remember when we when I got in a 196 00:09:50,160 --> 00:09:52,400 Speaker 1: fight and I started crying when we got in a fight, 197 00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:54,000 Speaker 1: and You're like, why are you crying? Because that's like 198 00:09:54,040 --> 00:09:56,160 Speaker 1: how I like convey like how I care about people. 199 00:09:56,200 --> 00:10:00,360 Speaker 1: But I'm just proud of you too, go through everything 200 00:10:00,360 --> 00:10:02,520 Speaker 1: that you're going through, and I'm always here for you. 201 00:10:02,559 --> 00:10:06,120 Speaker 1: And you know, like anyone listening to this podcast, hopefully 202 00:10:06,559 --> 00:10:09,480 Speaker 1: you have those people in your life because when it's 203 00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:12,360 Speaker 1: not when things are it's when things go bad you 204 00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:14,680 Speaker 1: find out who's there. And I'll always be there for 205 00:10:14,720 --> 00:10:17,240 Speaker 1: you and very similar to you know what you said, 206 00:10:17,520 --> 00:10:19,160 Speaker 1: I'm gonna be there to give you a big hug, 207 00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:20,840 Speaker 1: but then I'm also gonna pick you up off the floor. 208 00:10:20,880 --> 00:10:23,480 Speaker 1: And sometimes that's a little tough love. That's even want 209 00:10:23,480 --> 00:10:27,080 Speaker 1: to be my marriage. But it is that thing that um, 210 00:10:27,120 --> 00:10:29,520 Speaker 1: you know, I I just I just love you and 211 00:10:29,559 --> 00:10:31,400 Speaker 1: I only want you know the best for you. But 212 00:10:31,480 --> 00:10:34,480 Speaker 1: you have a tremendous amount of support and you are 213 00:10:34,559 --> 00:10:37,120 Speaker 1: running a race. But that racing over like I told you, 214 00:10:37,240 --> 00:10:40,040 Speaker 1: So maybe we're on mile and it's not We're not 215 00:10:40,120 --> 00:10:42,319 Speaker 1: at the pace that you want, but there's a couple 216 00:10:42,360 --> 00:10:44,680 Speaker 1: more miles left here and I'll be there to carry 217 00:10:44,679 --> 00:10:46,679 Speaker 1: you over the finish line if you need to. So 218 00:10:47,160 --> 00:10:50,600 Speaker 1: just know that you being open about you know, it's 219 00:10:50,640 --> 00:10:52,760 Speaker 1: it's easy to stand there, you know, and work the 220 00:10:52,840 --> 00:10:55,280 Speaker 1: NFC Championship game and your life looks perfect in your 221 00:10:55,360 --> 00:10:57,640 Speaker 1: husband and you've got this perfect family and all this stuff. 222 00:10:57,640 --> 00:11:00,600 Speaker 1: But it's like care blowing in the wind. But dump 223 00:11:00,679 --> 00:11:05,320 Speaker 1: danta um. But your ability to be honest about what 224 00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:08,280 Speaker 1: it is that you're going through. Um on every level, Aaron, 225 00:11:08,360 --> 00:11:11,280 Speaker 1: I mean, from what has happened to you and anyways. 226 00:11:11,280 --> 00:11:13,079 Speaker 1: I just I just really want you to know that 227 00:11:13,520 --> 00:11:18,600 Speaker 1: your openness helps way more people than you realize, even me, 228 00:11:18,760 --> 00:11:21,040 Speaker 1: you know, I I've now looked at my situation and 229 00:11:21,320 --> 00:11:24,360 Speaker 1: been like, Okay, I need to get going on some 230 00:11:24,440 --> 00:11:29,280 Speaker 1: things because so thank you for being vulnerable and just 231 00:11:29,360 --> 00:11:31,319 Speaker 1: know that you know, you've got a tremendous amount of 232 00:11:31,360 --> 00:11:33,800 Speaker 1: support and anyone listening that's going whether it's in fertility 233 00:11:33,920 --> 00:11:36,360 Speaker 1: or any issue that you have going on. And we'll 234 00:11:36,440 --> 00:11:38,080 Speaker 1: dive into that a little bit more with our guest 235 00:11:38,120 --> 00:11:41,960 Speaker 1: Caroline Leaf after Caroline Leaf. Um that awareness about mental 236 00:11:41,960 --> 00:11:44,440 Speaker 1: health and you know, we some of the athletes that 237 00:11:44,520 --> 00:11:48,199 Speaker 1: we love, right the Dad Prescott's of the world who 238 00:11:48,360 --> 00:11:51,120 Speaker 1: you just can't help but root for, stands up there 239 00:11:51,200 --> 00:11:54,320 Speaker 1: and says I'm going through this, or his brother, you know, 240 00:11:54,360 --> 00:11:57,760 Speaker 1: passing away, and the vulnerability on that that stage, right, 241 00:11:57,800 --> 00:12:00,199 Speaker 1: So it doesn't matter if you're the quarterback to the 242 00:12:00,240 --> 00:12:03,480 Speaker 1: Cowboys or you know, you in the position that that 243 00:12:03,600 --> 00:12:06,120 Speaker 1: you have. Everyone needs to be open and honest about 244 00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:07,720 Speaker 1: what they're going through if they if they can. Some 245 00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:10,040 Speaker 1: people like the privacy, but I'm just saying that your 246 00:12:10,080 --> 00:12:12,480 Speaker 1: openness helps more people than you realize. So thank you 247 00:12:12,520 --> 00:12:16,640 Speaker 1: for that, um and bringing it back. That's what it's 248 00:12:16,640 --> 00:12:19,480 Speaker 1: all about, is your group, right, your group? And what 249 00:12:19,480 --> 00:12:21,160 Speaker 1: what I realized and watching it last night and I 250 00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:23,760 Speaker 1: was a fan of the show, did you just spit 251 00:12:23,800 --> 00:12:26,880 Speaker 1: that plastic out. That was like the pretty woman I 252 00:12:27,040 --> 00:12:30,640 Speaker 1: was fate kissing that looked like you went like with 253 00:12:30,679 --> 00:12:35,040 Speaker 1: the gum. Have you ever done that before? Anyways? Us 254 00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:38,880 Speaker 1: the Friends Reunion. So I was a fan of the show, 255 00:12:39,160 --> 00:12:42,640 Speaker 1: But what I didn't realize until last night watching it 256 00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:47,480 Speaker 1: is that group was going through something that like nobody 257 00:12:47,480 --> 00:12:50,079 Speaker 1: else knew, right, and so they're bond. Like even when 258 00:12:50,080 --> 00:12:52,480 Speaker 1: they said that they did that huddle before every show, 259 00:12:52,600 --> 00:12:54,800 Speaker 1: I said, you stop it right now, like that is 260 00:12:55,480 --> 00:12:57,160 Speaker 1: you know? It was just it brought it back to 261 00:12:57,480 --> 00:13:00,199 Speaker 1: your circle that you have around you support you. That's 262 00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:03,480 Speaker 1: a huddle. The sports we love a huddle like bringing 263 00:13:03,520 --> 00:13:05,680 Speaker 1: the group of people you love together. I just loved 264 00:13:05,720 --> 00:13:08,440 Speaker 1: everything about it. What was your favorite part? Um? I 265 00:13:08,480 --> 00:13:11,040 Speaker 1: was just gonna ask you that my favorite part, I 266 00:13:11,080 --> 00:13:13,440 Speaker 1: think the thing we're all texting about with each other 267 00:13:13,800 --> 00:13:17,400 Speaker 1: is um. First of all, I liked Lisa Kudro so 268 00:13:17,480 --> 00:13:19,280 Speaker 1: much more, not that I wasn't a fan of her, 269 00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:22,160 Speaker 1: but she was so lovely in the reunion. And I 270 00:13:22,160 --> 00:13:24,320 Speaker 1: don't know, I guess like I don't know, I just 271 00:13:24,480 --> 00:13:27,920 Speaker 1: love more now exactly the same. Yeah, And I know 272 00:13:27,960 --> 00:13:31,680 Speaker 1: our makeup artist Brett Good job. What was the other one? 273 00:13:31,720 --> 00:13:34,160 Speaker 1: I mean, I think what everybody's freaking out about was 274 00:13:34,200 --> 00:13:36,520 Speaker 1: that Ross and Rachel really had a crush on each other. 275 00:13:36,720 --> 00:13:39,640 Speaker 1: And it's like, so I immediately looked to see if 276 00:13:39,679 --> 00:13:42,360 Speaker 1: he's married right now. Sorry if you're dating him, and 277 00:13:42,640 --> 00:13:44,240 Speaker 1: you know you're you're a fan of the show, but 278 00:13:44,440 --> 00:13:47,000 Speaker 1: I was checking out to see if he was married 279 00:13:47,080 --> 00:13:50,240 Speaker 1: because I was like, there's still a chance. And all 280 00:13:50,280 --> 00:13:52,880 Speaker 1: the behind the scenes footage of like them cuddling on 281 00:13:52,920 --> 00:13:55,160 Speaker 1: the couch, and then everybody's saying, oh, we knew you'all 282 00:13:55,160 --> 00:13:58,240 Speaker 1: were crushing on each other. Stop it, Why why is 283 00:13:58,280 --> 00:14:01,199 Speaker 1: this not happening? Move over, Harry and Megan. I mean, 284 00:14:01,240 --> 00:14:04,120 Speaker 1: this would be like a couple of all couples. And 285 00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:06,320 Speaker 1: now the Brad thing. I've always wanted the reunion of 286 00:14:06,360 --> 00:14:08,200 Speaker 1: Jen and Brad when they're the Golden Globes in that 287 00:14:08,280 --> 00:14:09,720 Speaker 1: touch and the thing, and I was like, oh my god, 288 00:14:09,720 --> 00:14:12,600 Speaker 1: maybe there's a champ. Doesn't seem like that's happening. So 289 00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:15,840 Speaker 1: Ross and Rachel are are I mean, can you even 290 00:14:15,880 --> 00:14:20,320 Speaker 1: freaking imagine if they got back together in real life? Yeah, no, 291 00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:24,600 Speaker 1: it'd be amazing. And the other Matt LeBlanc was hot 292 00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:27,760 Speaker 1: back in the day, like he was breaking hot. Yeah, 293 00:14:28,240 --> 00:14:31,120 Speaker 1: photos of him. I also liked his I love the 294 00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:34,920 Speaker 1: stories of the auditions where it was like and all 295 00:14:34,960 --> 00:14:36,800 Speaker 1: I could think about is like, wonder if you're someone 296 00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:39,640 Speaker 1: who like audition for those parts, and like Marta Coppin's 297 00:14:39,680 --> 00:14:42,400 Speaker 1: like we couldn't find anyone. I'd be like, wow, yeah, 298 00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:44,720 Speaker 1: you know whatever. I mean imagine or imagine being like 299 00:14:44,760 --> 00:14:46,240 Speaker 1: the person that they called back and it was like 300 00:14:46,280 --> 00:14:49,600 Speaker 1: between you and Chandler whatever, And it was like knowing 301 00:14:49,640 --> 00:14:52,480 Speaker 1: that you were so close. Talk about life changing. But 302 00:14:52,680 --> 00:14:55,120 Speaker 1: now now I can't imagine another Characteruse That's just the 303 00:14:55,120 --> 00:14:58,640 Speaker 1: way it works. Mike Mulvehill line one one of my 304 00:14:58,680 --> 00:15:02,440 Speaker 1: favorite guys. UM Fox. He basically um he deals with 305 00:15:02,480 --> 00:15:05,360 Speaker 1: all our ratings. He knows how to schedule our games. 306 00:15:05,360 --> 00:15:07,440 Speaker 1: I'm not doing him justice with his title, but he's 307 00:15:07,480 --> 00:15:10,480 Speaker 1: my dream. I go to him for demo numbers, ratings numbers. 308 00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:13,000 Speaker 1: Jared and I after we watched the reunion, we just 309 00:15:13,040 --> 00:15:15,320 Speaker 1: started looking up the whole thing about their contracts and 310 00:15:15,360 --> 00:15:17,440 Speaker 1: when they all held out together so they could all 311 00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:21,440 Speaker 1: be equally paid. They were all paid. In this particular article, 312 00:15:21,520 --> 00:15:23,880 Speaker 1: we read two to three million dollars to do the 313 00:15:23,880 --> 00:15:30,320 Speaker 1: reunion show. HBO Max's subscriptions went up six hundred percent 314 00:15:30,800 --> 00:15:34,200 Speaker 1: when the French re Union came out. There fucking money. 315 00:15:35,360 --> 00:15:37,800 Speaker 1: And remember when James Cordon at the Begning was like 316 00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:39,600 Speaker 1: reading off all the numbers. He's like, it's been seen 317 00:15:39,680 --> 00:15:42,080 Speaker 1: in like a hundred the shows a much a hundred 318 00:15:42,080 --> 00:15:45,280 Speaker 1: billion times, and even their faces were like, I need 319 00:15:45,360 --> 00:15:49,160 Speaker 1: to know what those residual checks look like. Two hundred million, 320 00:15:49,480 --> 00:15:55,640 Speaker 1: twenty million a year each. Shut up. I'll be there 321 00:15:55,680 --> 00:15:59,240 Speaker 1: for you, yeah, always. And we went to brunch today 322 00:15:59,240 --> 00:16:02,600 Speaker 1: with our buddy is a former producer, and he was saying, 323 00:16:02,760 --> 00:16:04,720 Speaker 1: we you know, we're talking about how they sat out 324 00:16:04,720 --> 00:16:07,960 Speaker 1: and they all made a million per episode for seasons 325 00:16:08,040 --> 00:16:10,880 Speaker 1: nine and ten, and our buddy reminded us, you guys, 326 00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:13,400 Speaker 1: keep in mind that wasn't when it was just ten 327 00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:16,880 Speaker 1: episodes a season. They were doing like twenty two episodes. 328 00:16:16,920 --> 00:16:22,080 Speaker 1: So also, seventeen years ago, a million dollars is now 329 00:16:22,120 --> 00:16:24,600 Speaker 1: white ten million or whatever it might be. I mean, 330 00:16:24,680 --> 00:16:29,080 Speaker 1: that's crazy. Okay, next show, you want to see them 331 00:16:29,080 --> 00:16:31,880 Speaker 1: do something like this? Which is the next worthy show 332 00:16:31,960 --> 00:16:34,840 Speaker 1: for something like this? For reunion? Yeah? Well, I mean 333 00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:36,920 Speaker 1: I think that you would say Seinfeld, like, this isn't 334 00:16:36,960 --> 00:16:40,200 Speaker 1: that you're that's more you're like Seinfelder. I would want 335 00:16:40,280 --> 00:16:43,040 Speaker 1: and I know they're doing a whole like reboot, but 336 00:16:43,120 --> 00:16:45,280 Speaker 1: I really would love Sex in the City. But you 337 00:16:45,360 --> 00:16:48,000 Speaker 1: have to have Kim Contral there. You need to have 338 00:16:48,200 --> 00:16:50,560 Speaker 1: all of the parties there, and they need to be 339 00:16:50,600 --> 00:16:53,720 Speaker 1: honest about the nonsense. Yes, Mary, yes, but it's like, 340 00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:55,640 Speaker 1: if you're gonna do it, then's sit down and be on. 341 00:16:55,760 --> 00:16:57,280 Speaker 1: I mean, look look at what you look at what 342 00:16:57,320 --> 00:16:59,200 Speaker 1: you're doing, even on this podcast, Like I know that 343 00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:01,120 Speaker 1: when we even talked doing a podcast a couple of 344 00:17:01,200 --> 00:17:02,960 Speaker 1: years ago, I was like, do it if you're going 345 00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:06,000 Speaker 1: to be you. And remember even some of our wonderful 346 00:17:06,520 --> 00:17:09,080 Speaker 1: Russell Wilson said that to you. Aaron said that to you. 347 00:17:09,240 --> 00:17:11,080 Speaker 1: Roger said that too. He's like, Okay, we're gonna do 348 00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:14,080 Speaker 1: a podcast, but you have to be you. And that's 349 00:17:14,240 --> 00:17:16,760 Speaker 1: how I think about these reunion shows. Were like even 350 00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:20,280 Speaker 1: them saying about the Ross and Rachel thing like I 351 00:17:20,520 --> 00:17:23,159 Speaker 1: love that, but are you kidding me? And James and 352 00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:26,200 Speaker 1: I never thought about it, but James Corton was onto something, 353 00:17:26,440 --> 00:17:29,679 Speaker 1: are you telling me? Nobody on that that like Castle 354 00:17:29,760 --> 00:17:33,240 Speaker 1: left together with each other, curse, they were freaking hot. 355 00:17:33,600 --> 00:17:36,600 Speaker 1: They were all probably partying together. Like, tell me, nobody 356 00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:39,920 Speaker 1: hooked up who do you think? Freaking way? I bet 357 00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:43,720 Speaker 1: you was a Chandler Monica situation. I bet you they did. 358 00:17:44,200 --> 00:17:46,600 Speaker 1: Matt le Blanc had to be hooking up with someone 359 00:17:46,680 --> 00:17:50,640 Speaker 1: he was I don't know. I also see him being 360 00:17:50,720 --> 00:17:53,320 Speaker 1: like the like hot remember Joey Lawrence. I may have 361 00:17:53,359 --> 00:17:56,000 Speaker 1: hosted a show with them. Splash, I'm not bragging. These 362 00:17:56,040 --> 00:17:58,760 Speaker 1: are just dude, remember and Blossom how he was like 363 00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:01,160 Speaker 1: the hot dumb brother, like Joey was like the hot 364 00:18:01,240 --> 00:18:03,960 Speaker 1: dumb friend. So I don't know if are you into that? 365 00:18:05,080 --> 00:18:07,240 Speaker 1: I don't know. But one more thing I'll say. Since 366 00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:10,280 Speaker 1: we've watched the reunion, we've had the Friends repeats on 367 00:18:10,480 --> 00:18:14,280 Speaker 1: NonStop now, and I'm curious how much those numbers, you know, 368 00:18:14,359 --> 00:18:17,160 Speaker 1: I love the rating have increased. It's like when an 369 00:18:17,280 --> 00:18:19,880 Speaker 1: artist dies and everybody goes and listens to their music 370 00:18:19,920 --> 00:18:22,040 Speaker 1: and you see the spike in numbers. But yeah, we've 371 00:18:22,040 --> 00:18:23,800 Speaker 1: had it on all day in the house. It's a 372 00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:27,639 Speaker 1: great point because yours truly who peripherally like Friends, But 373 00:18:27,680 --> 00:18:29,200 Speaker 1: it was on I'd watch it, but I didn't seek 374 00:18:29,240 --> 00:18:31,560 Speaker 1: it out. Now I feel excited to go back and 375 00:18:31,600 --> 00:18:34,199 Speaker 1: watch it, knowing like the behind the scenes and the 376 00:18:34,240 --> 00:18:37,360 Speaker 1: backstory and the whole thing. Also, how money are those 377 00:18:37,480 --> 00:18:40,240 Speaker 1: coat like the coke free like the executive producers like 378 00:18:40,280 --> 00:18:44,560 Speaker 1: creators and writers like Jesus. I also liked Real Quickly. 379 00:18:44,600 --> 00:18:47,919 Speaker 1: I liked when Jennifer Aniston's producer on the show. She 380 00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:50,119 Speaker 1: was working almost like Oh, that show won't make you 381 00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:52,520 Speaker 1: a star, And then James Cordon, he's so good, He's like, oh, 382 00:18:52,520 --> 00:18:55,119 Speaker 1: we have that producer here tonight. It was so funny. 383 00:18:55,160 --> 00:18:56,960 Speaker 1: She got like all embarrassed, like she was going to 384 00:18:57,040 --> 00:19:00,399 Speaker 1: have to confront him. But people when he was on show, 385 00:19:00,480 --> 00:19:03,480 Speaker 1: I thought he did a great job. Like the problem 386 00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:06,720 Speaker 1: is that there was like this whole like ordeal where 387 00:19:06,720 --> 00:19:10,000 Speaker 1: people were like piste off that James Gordon was hosting it. 388 00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:12,360 Speaker 1: I thought he did a freaking phenomenal job. I loved him. 389 00:19:12,520 --> 00:19:15,160 Speaker 1: You know what those people need, They need doctor Caroline 390 00:19:15,240 --> 00:19:18,359 Speaker 1: Leaf in their life and a calm down award. Well exactly. 391 00:19:18,520 --> 00:19:22,040 Speaker 1: We are going to dive into all things mental health 392 00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:26,760 Speaker 1: and awareness with our next guest. I need it all um, 393 00:19:26,880 --> 00:19:30,199 Speaker 1: you and your vulnerability, which again, I cannot overstate how 394 00:19:30,560 --> 00:19:33,040 Speaker 1: much I respect you for doing that. Um. We'll figure 395 00:19:33,080 --> 00:19:36,040 Speaker 1: out why the mind works the way it does. UM. 396 00:19:36,080 --> 00:19:38,160 Speaker 1: She's coming up next. We have a lot of questions 397 00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:42,080 Speaker 1: for her. This is the Calm Down Podcast. And Ross 398 00:19:42,119 --> 00:19:45,280 Speaker 1: and Rachel please get back together. Make us happy we 399 00:19:49,160 --> 00:19:53,360 Speaker 1: should and singing. I love the one where at the end, 400 00:19:53,480 --> 00:19:56,360 Speaker 1: like where they showed Dreana oh my god having them 401 00:19:56,720 --> 00:20:00,119 Speaker 1: do the kiss, one when they were script reading it. 402 00:20:00,359 --> 00:20:02,560 Speaker 1: I like the one where it was like my eyes, 403 00:20:02,640 --> 00:20:06,159 Speaker 1: my eyes, and then she was like she so excited. 404 00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:09,240 Speaker 1: Freak at the apartment because he didn't want to see 405 00:20:09,320 --> 00:20:12,439 Speaker 1: Rawson found Monota then he jumped up. Those table reads 406 00:20:12,440 --> 00:20:25,880 Speaker 1: were really cute. Well, I know Aaron and I are 407 00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:30,320 Speaker 1: very excited to welcome in our guest Dr Caroline Leave 408 00:20:30,640 --> 00:20:35,800 Speaker 1: thirty eight years and then some of experience in you know, 409 00:20:35,840 --> 00:20:39,760 Speaker 1: the well renowned neuroscientists and best selling author that you are. 410 00:20:40,560 --> 00:20:42,919 Speaker 1: That is a title that Aaron and I will never have. Um. 411 00:20:42,960 --> 00:20:46,360 Speaker 1: In terms of moro scientists, we are. We are humbled 412 00:20:46,359 --> 00:20:48,679 Speaker 1: by your presence and we can't wait to speak to 413 00:20:48,720 --> 00:20:51,560 Speaker 1: you about all of the things. For those individuals Caroline 414 00:20:51,600 --> 00:20:54,120 Speaker 1: that don't know your background, would you mind just sort 415 00:20:54,160 --> 00:20:56,840 Speaker 1: of explaining to uh, to our listeners how you got 416 00:20:56,840 --> 00:21:01,520 Speaker 1: into this incredibly impressive field. Absolutely well, thank you very 417 00:21:01,600 --> 00:21:03,439 Speaker 1: much for having me on your podcast. I always love 418 00:21:03,520 --> 00:21:06,320 Speaker 1: to share, and it's an important topic to talk about 419 00:21:06,320 --> 00:21:09,120 Speaker 1: people's minds because that's what drives us. So basically, i'm 420 00:21:09,119 --> 00:21:12,520 Speaker 1: as you see the cognitive neuroscientists and communication mythologists. What 421 00:21:12,560 --> 00:21:15,080 Speaker 1: I study is psycho neurobiology. So what that means is 422 00:21:15,119 --> 00:21:17,480 Speaker 1: I look at mind, brain, body. And I started off 423 00:21:17,640 --> 00:21:20,840 Speaker 1: thirty eight years ago in a time period in science 424 00:21:20,840 --> 00:21:23,359 Speaker 1: where they didn't believe the brain could change, and I 425 00:21:23,520 --> 00:21:26,000 Speaker 1: was being trained to work with people with brain damage, 426 00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:29,680 Speaker 1: and I just remember my one neuroscience lecturer saying, well, 427 00:21:29,800 --> 00:21:31,720 Speaker 1: the brain can't change, so therefore when you work with 428 00:21:31,720 --> 00:21:34,439 Speaker 1: traumatic brain injured patients, you are going to have to 429 00:21:34,480 --> 00:21:37,399 Speaker 1: just teach them to compensate and that just like I said, No, 430 00:21:37,520 --> 00:21:39,600 Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I cannot deal with that. I said, if 431 00:21:39,640 --> 00:21:42,000 Speaker 1: you think of it as humans, we are always having 432 00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:45,199 Speaker 1: new experiences, we're learning, be changing, And that makes logical 433 00:21:45,240 --> 00:21:47,359 Speaker 1: sense because in the eighties they believed that the mind 434 00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:49,520 Speaker 1: was separate from the brain, so that they got right, 435 00:21:49,560 --> 00:21:51,640 Speaker 1: but they didn't believe the brain could change. So they 436 00:21:51,720 --> 00:21:53,280 Speaker 1: just feelt, Okay, well, it doesn't matter what you do 437 00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:55,000 Speaker 1: with your mind because the brains are going to change, 438 00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:58,520 Speaker 1: so just teach compensations. It's very illogical. So I challenged that, 439 00:21:58,640 --> 00:22:00,680 Speaker 1: and they said, okay, well that's your kill us question 440 00:22:00,720 --> 00:22:03,480 Speaker 1: to say the mind can change the brain, so prove it. 441 00:22:03,560 --> 00:22:05,960 Speaker 1: So so I said, give me the worst population you 442 00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:08,680 Speaker 1: can think of, the most difficult population, not worst, and 443 00:22:08,720 --> 00:22:11,040 Speaker 1: they said, well, work with traumatic brain injured patients who 444 00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:13,640 Speaker 1: have been in comas for longer than eight hours, because 445 00:22:13,640 --> 00:22:16,040 Speaker 1: that was considered irreversible brain damage. And I took them 446 00:22:16,040 --> 00:22:19,200 Speaker 1: on and I started doing research, and my first major 447 00:22:19,240 --> 00:22:21,760 Speaker 1: study was with a subject who had actually been in 448 00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:24,080 Speaker 1: a coma for two weeks and had been told by 449 00:22:24,119 --> 00:22:27,639 Speaker 1: her neurologist that she her parents have been told that 450 00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:30,240 Speaker 1: she would be a vegetable. Literally, those were the words. 451 00:22:30,240 --> 00:22:32,639 Speaker 1: Thank god, they don't use those words anymore to a 452 00:22:32,720 --> 00:22:34,960 Speaker 1: patient's face, or two a parent's face, but they did. 453 00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:38,159 Speaker 1: And those parents contacted me because they heard I was 454 00:22:38,200 --> 00:22:40,959 Speaker 1: doing this kind of research, and they said they cannot 455 00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:42,760 Speaker 1: just give up on their change. They've pretty much been 456 00:22:42,800 --> 00:22:45,080 Speaker 1: told to give up. But they didn't they had stuck 457 00:22:45,080 --> 00:22:47,080 Speaker 1: with her. She came out of her coma, they had 458 00:22:47,080 --> 00:22:49,360 Speaker 1: done their best to stimulate her. They brought her home 459 00:22:49,359 --> 00:22:52,920 Speaker 1: and even coming out the coma and functioning at whatever level. 460 00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:55,639 Speaker 1: Long story short, that was a miracle. She was sixteen 461 00:22:55,680 --> 00:22:58,399 Speaker 1: at the time of her accident, seventeen when they contacted me. 462 00:22:58,600 --> 00:23:01,280 Speaker 1: She had lost almost her whole of her eleventh grade year, 463 00:23:01,560 --> 00:23:04,480 Speaker 1: and her peer group was going into twelfth grade. Her 464 00:23:04,560 --> 00:23:07,240 Speaker 1: desire when they came to me was to get back 465 00:23:07,240 --> 00:23:10,680 Speaker 1: into twelfth grade and to finish twelfth grade. Her doctors 466 00:23:10,720 --> 00:23:13,480 Speaker 1: and her teachers all said, why you even trying that 467 00:23:13,520 --> 00:23:16,879 Speaker 1: she couldn't even cope on her second grade level. And UM, 468 00:23:17,160 --> 00:23:21,080 Speaker 1: so you know, I was a new scientist, young therapist, 469 00:23:21,080 --> 00:23:23,240 Speaker 1: in new in the research. I believed totally that you 470 00:23:23,280 --> 00:23:25,199 Speaker 1: could change. And I said, okay, well it's this. I mean, 471 00:23:25,320 --> 00:23:27,960 Speaker 1: let's do at least try. And within eight months that 472 00:23:28,080 --> 00:23:29,560 Speaker 1: goes three times a week. And I say this, I 473 00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:32,080 Speaker 1: saw her three hours a week, and within eight months, 474 00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:34,520 Speaker 1: that young girl not only had gone from second grade 475 00:23:34,520 --> 00:23:36,720 Speaker 1: back to twelfth grade, but she finished twelfth grade with 476 00:23:36,760 --> 00:23:39,600 Speaker 1: her peer group, and she did better in her grades 477 00:23:39,680 --> 00:23:42,280 Speaker 1: than she did prior to her accident, she battled like 478 00:23:42,359 --> 00:23:44,720 Speaker 1: crazy with math, was a very average student prior to 479 00:23:44,760 --> 00:23:48,840 Speaker 1: the accident. Post accident, she was a math genius. She 480 00:23:49,040 --> 00:23:51,359 Speaker 1: her Q school, not that ARQUE schools is much, but 481 00:23:51,400 --> 00:23:53,560 Speaker 1: I had it done by a neuro psychologist who does 482 00:23:53,560 --> 00:23:55,879 Speaker 1: it in a specific way, and she was basically on 483 00:23:55,920 --> 00:23:59,399 Speaker 1: the genius level. She prior to that, her ARQUE was average. 484 00:23:59,400 --> 00:24:02,320 Speaker 1: So here we have someone who was average student, average 485 00:24:02,520 --> 00:24:05,520 Speaker 1: r average intelligence, kind of just you know, going along, 486 00:24:05,840 --> 00:24:08,760 Speaker 1: has a terrible accident, is written off by the medical community, 487 00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:11,320 Speaker 1: and by using her mind, she becomes a math genius, 488 00:24:11,440 --> 00:24:13,879 Speaker 1: goes and finish the school, goes to college, goes on 489 00:24:13,920 --> 00:24:15,760 Speaker 1: to make a life for herself. And that was one 490 00:24:15,880 --> 00:24:19,760 Speaker 1: of hundreds and then thousands of cases. So that really 491 00:24:19,800 --> 00:24:21,960 Speaker 1: got me going. And I did. What that was is 492 00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:26,080 Speaker 1: I showed neuroplasticity. I showed that when you deliberately used 493 00:24:26,119 --> 00:24:28,359 Speaker 1: your mind in a specific way, you're going to change 494 00:24:28,359 --> 00:24:32,720 Speaker 1: your brain. Your brain is substance, it's physical substance, and 495 00:24:32,880 --> 00:24:35,480 Speaker 1: it is driven by the mind. So it's the thing 496 00:24:36,119 --> 00:24:40,359 Speaker 1: or process that helps us to experience life, and the 497 00:24:40,480 --> 00:24:44,320 Speaker 1: mind uses the brain to convert that experience into a 498 00:24:44,320 --> 00:24:47,280 Speaker 1: way that we can actually express that experience. So in 499 00:24:47,320 --> 00:24:49,920 Speaker 1: other words, we are having an experience. Now we're having 500 00:24:49,920 --> 00:24:54,120 Speaker 1: a discussion about this topic of mind, brain, mental health 501 00:24:54,119 --> 00:24:55,639 Speaker 1: and all the things we get into. But that is 502 00:24:55,680 --> 00:24:59,000 Speaker 1: being absorbed by, taken in and process too. Think, field, choose, 503 00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:01,440 Speaker 1: and all these photons of all the gravitational fields and 504 00:25:01,560 --> 00:25:04,240 Speaker 1: things which is mind and pushed into the brain, and 505 00:25:04,280 --> 00:25:06,800 Speaker 1: the brain responds on an electro magnetic and I've got 506 00:25:06,800 --> 00:25:12,639 Speaker 1: a brain here electro magnetic, chemical and neurochemical and genetic level, 507 00:25:13,080 --> 00:25:15,760 Speaker 1: and everything I'm saying is growing in your brain as 508 00:25:15,800 --> 00:25:19,560 Speaker 1: trees from me being the source. I'm supplying the information 509 00:25:19,840 --> 00:25:22,240 Speaker 1: and you're listening is going into the root system like 510 00:25:22,280 --> 00:25:24,240 Speaker 1: a tree for the listeners, I'm holding up a little 511 00:25:24,280 --> 00:25:26,720 Speaker 1: tree in a pot, and the roots system is in 512 00:25:26,760 --> 00:25:29,359 Speaker 1: the pot. But the roots system you prompt the seed, 513 00:25:29,600 --> 00:25:31,800 Speaker 1: which is the name of the podcast. Seed. Then as 514 00:25:31,800 --> 00:25:34,719 Speaker 1: I'm talking, those are the roots, root memories. It's the source. 515 00:25:34,920 --> 00:25:37,639 Speaker 1: So the roots are the source of the experience. And 516 00:25:37,640 --> 00:25:40,800 Speaker 1: then the branches, this is so cool, are your interpretation 517 00:25:41,119 --> 00:25:43,600 Speaker 1: you're thinking, feeling and choosing, which is based on your 518 00:25:43,600 --> 00:25:47,400 Speaker 1: identity of the information. And then all of this together 519 00:25:47,400 --> 00:25:50,080 Speaker 1: at the end of this conversation. You now have this 520 00:25:50,240 --> 00:25:53,920 Speaker 1: knowledge in your brain as a tree, in the gravitational 521 00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:56,760 Speaker 1: fields of your mind as waves, and in the DNA 522 00:25:56,880 --> 00:26:00,520 Speaker 1: of your body, changing your actual DNA because his mind 523 00:26:00,600 --> 00:26:02,919 Speaker 1: to brain, brain to body. So now let's say it's 524 00:26:02,960 --> 00:26:06,040 Speaker 1: a toxic experience. Here has a toxic tree. So literally 525 00:26:06,080 --> 00:26:07,880 Speaker 1: the thoughts looked at they look like trees in the brain. 526 00:26:07,880 --> 00:26:10,159 Speaker 1: That's why I use these analogies and that. So this 527 00:26:10,240 --> 00:26:11,800 Speaker 1: is now this wiry one I brought all the way 528 00:26:11,800 --> 00:26:16,120 Speaker 1: from South Africa. Um, this is now a toxic version. 529 00:26:16,119 --> 00:26:18,560 Speaker 1: So this would be let's say COVID. There we go 530 00:26:18,720 --> 00:26:21,760 Speaker 1: the pandemic. There's your pandemic traumatory and it is a 531 00:26:21,800 --> 00:26:23,880 Speaker 1: trauma if it's changed our lives. You don't know what's 532 00:26:23,920 --> 00:26:26,600 Speaker 1: going on. So the root system is right from when 533 00:26:26,680 --> 00:26:29,240 Speaker 1: it's started, and all the uncertainty and the news and 534 00:26:29,240 --> 00:26:32,520 Speaker 1: the media and your own experience and isolation and whatever 535 00:26:32,600 --> 00:26:35,280 Speaker 1: happened to that's all in the roots system. As the 536 00:26:35,359 --> 00:26:38,320 Speaker 1: root system grows, you interpret, so each day there's something 537 00:26:38,359 --> 00:26:42,560 Speaker 1: added and you're adding to so that ranch memories are 538 00:26:42,720 --> 00:26:46,640 Speaker 1: how you think, feel and choose about those. It's easy 539 00:26:46,680 --> 00:26:49,920 Speaker 1: to understand something like sexual trauma because it's so insidious. 540 00:26:50,000 --> 00:26:54,520 Speaker 1: But generally there's there's the trauma, and you always experience, interpret, experience, interpret, 541 00:26:54,600 --> 00:26:57,520 Speaker 1: and the interpretation is literally our identity. So this is 542 00:26:57,600 --> 00:27:01,000 Speaker 1: toxic identities toxic. So someone who said sexual trauma, they 543 00:27:01,040 --> 00:27:04,560 Speaker 1: tend to see themselves as shame, I deserve pain, I'm bad, 544 00:27:04,680 --> 00:27:07,199 Speaker 1: it's my faults because those are the standard kind of 545 00:27:07,200 --> 00:27:09,399 Speaker 1: ways that someone will think when they've gone through that. 546 00:27:09,480 --> 00:27:11,840 Speaker 1: You have to change when someone has gone through major 547 00:27:12,080 --> 00:27:15,040 Speaker 1: sexual abuse because it's such a distortion. So that's that then, 548 00:27:15,160 --> 00:27:16,840 Speaker 1: is how the person then shows up. So this is 549 00:27:16,880 --> 00:27:20,400 Speaker 1: undealt with This is real in the brain. It's protein 550 00:27:20,480 --> 00:27:22,840 Speaker 1: tree like structure in the brain. It's in the mind 551 00:27:22,920 --> 00:27:24,960 Speaker 1: as these waves, it's in the DNA of our body. 552 00:27:25,119 --> 00:27:28,600 Speaker 1: So when something triggers this, the whole experience comes back, 553 00:27:28,640 --> 00:27:31,159 Speaker 1: and that's why we have the somatic, the body experience. 554 00:27:31,359 --> 00:27:33,800 Speaker 1: The body keeps the score that kind of concept, and 555 00:27:33,800 --> 00:27:37,000 Speaker 1: so you that's why somebody experiences tuma. They will get 556 00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:40,200 Speaker 1: the trigger. The trigger brings back all the data, all 557 00:27:40,240 --> 00:27:43,760 Speaker 1: the emotions, the interpretation, how they see themselves, back to 558 00:27:43,800 --> 00:27:46,080 Speaker 1: the root, and it's all drawn up from the body 559 00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:49,399 Speaker 1: to the data in the brain. With the feelings and stuff, 560 00:27:49,440 --> 00:27:51,280 Speaker 1: and then the So the body is the sensations, the 561 00:27:51,320 --> 00:27:54,400 Speaker 1: brain is the data of the what happened in the feelings, 562 00:27:54,640 --> 00:27:57,119 Speaker 1: and then the mind is the whole experience. And it 563 00:27:57,160 --> 00:27:59,760 Speaker 1: can be ten years, twenty years later, but the experience 564 00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:04,359 Speaker 1: comes back. And until this is deconstructed and reconstructed into 565 00:28:04,440 --> 00:28:09,440 Speaker 1: something healthy, this is controlling and it is real. So 566 00:28:09,560 --> 00:28:12,880 Speaker 1: the immune system of the brainom body recognized this as 567 00:28:12,920 --> 00:28:15,840 Speaker 1: real and will send out in exactly the same way 568 00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:18,439 Speaker 1: as the covid virus has got the weird protein. And 569 00:28:18,480 --> 00:28:20,679 Speaker 1: we all know that this weird protein stimulates the immune 570 00:28:20,680 --> 00:28:23,440 Speaker 1: system to fight it, which we all understand. But do 571 00:28:23,480 --> 00:28:26,239 Speaker 1: we realize that that toxic trauma that you've experienced is 572 00:28:26,280 --> 00:28:30,280 Speaker 1: also a physical tree in your brain like the covid protein. 573 00:28:30,359 --> 00:28:32,880 Speaker 1: Different protein to the covid, but also protein. It's real. 574 00:28:33,160 --> 00:28:35,320 Speaker 1: What I'm saying that this is real. So your immune 575 00:28:35,320 --> 00:28:37,840 Speaker 1: system of your brains, as much as it will fight 576 00:28:37,920 --> 00:28:40,560 Speaker 1: anything that's threatening your survival, the toxic thought is also 577 00:28:40,600 --> 00:28:43,120 Speaker 1: threatening your survival. So the immune system will also fight 578 00:28:43,200 --> 00:28:45,360 Speaker 1: this responds in the same way, so we get the 579 00:28:45,360 --> 00:28:48,760 Speaker 1: whole physiological response. I mean, that's a long answer to 580 00:28:48,800 --> 00:28:51,400 Speaker 1: your question. But essentially that's kind of That's what I've 581 00:28:51,400 --> 00:28:53,280 Speaker 1: studied for thirty eight years, and what I've try and 582 00:28:53,360 --> 00:28:55,880 Speaker 1: do is I've got the whole therapeutic application. But I 583 00:28:55,960 --> 00:28:57,840 Speaker 1: work very much now and trying to bring this to 584 00:28:58,520 --> 00:29:00,920 Speaker 1: everyone because everyone has a mind and everyone needs to 585 00:29:00,960 --> 00:29:02,480 Speaker 1: know how to manage their mind, and we need to 586 00:29:02,480 --> 00:29:05,280 Speaker 1: be teaching those in schools from young I'm taking you 587 00:29:05,320 --> 00:29:09,160 Speaker 1: to every dinner party I have. Will be bored. I 588 00:29:09,200 --> 00:29:11,280 Speaker 1: mean I could listen to you talk for hours and 589 00:29:11,320 --> 00:29:14,240 Speaker 1: you talk about the therapeutic application. I don't want to 590 00:29:14,280 --> 00:29:16,000 Speaker 1: put words in your mouth, but is that what you're 591 00:29:16,040 --> 00:29:18,200 Speaker 1: talking about with these five steps in your book that 592 00:29:18,240 --> 00:29:20,480 Speaker 1: you go over with cleaning up your mental mask? Can 593 00:29:20,520 --> 00:29:23,240 Speaker 1: we talk about what these five steps are all about? 594 00:29:23,320 --> 00:29:26,720 Speaker 1: Because your books coming tomorrow to my house, but I'm 595 00:29:26,760 --> 00:29:29,080 Speaker 1: ready to go, Like, I mean, do you want to 596 00:29:29,080 --> 00:29:31,720 Speaker 1: go over the cliff Nes version of this? Sure? Sure, 597 00:29:31,760 --> 00:29:34,920 Speaker 1: absolutely so. Thirty I DearS ago when I started in 598 00:29:34,960 --> 00:29:36,920 Speaker 1: the field with the patient that I told you about, 599 00:29:36,960 --> 00:29:38,320 Speaker 1: I thought, how am I going to be able to 600 00:29:38,360 --> 00:29:42,080 Speaker 1: show this helpless person understand? What is the thought? What 601 00:29:42,160 --> 00:29:44,240 Speaker 1: are the what the memories? Are they the same thing? 602 00:29:44,480 --> 00:29:46,400 Speaker 1: Can you build in can you change them? Can you 603 00:29:46,440 --> 00:29:49,200 Speaker 1: rewire them? How do you change your brain? And how 604 00:29:49,240 --> 00:29:50,800 Speaker 1: do you change your feet? So that those are my 605 00:29:50,880 --> 00:29:52,720 Speaker 1: questions that I was asking, how can I help you 606 00:29:52,800 --> 00:29:56,120 Speaker 1: get that social emotional colbums to functioning and um. So 607 00:29:56,240 --> 00:29:58,320 Speaker 1: in that process I slid it sort of the whole 608 00:29:58,320 --> 00:30:00,560 Speaker 1: New Sun side of all the stuff and the ecological 609 00:30:00,560 --> 00:30:02,440 Speaker 1: side and the combination and came up with a five 610 00:30:02,440 --> 00:30:05,800 Speaker 1: step process. And basically the neuro cycle is like Amazon. 611 00:30:05,920 --> 00:30:10,440 Speaker 1: It's like a delivery system enabling you to manage your mind. 612 00:30:10,840 --> 00:30:13,600 Speaker 1: So it's a mind management delivery system where you use 613 00:30:13,680 --> 00:30:16,400 Speaker 1: your wise mind, which all of us have. Our cored 614 00:30:16,560 --> 00:30:19,320 Speaker 1: of who we are is wisdom, it's survival, it's love, 615 00:30:19,440 --> 00:30:23,080 Speaker 1: it's all our neurobiology. Everything is designed for that. We 616 00:30:23,120 --> 00:30:25,240 Speaker 1: see that in quantum physics, we see in physics, we 617 00:30:25,240 --> 00:30:28,440 Speaker 1: see it in neurobiology, psycho neurobiology, all the stuff. We 618 00:30:28,520 --> 00:30:30,600 Speaker 1: see that we are as human as your wife for survival. 619 00:30:30,680 --> 00:30:34,160 Speaker 1: Just having an immune system is because we we survival oriented. 620 00:30:34,320 --> 00:30:37,520 Speaker 1: We are optimism oriented and were drawn towards that to 621 00:30:37,600 --> 00:30:41,440 Speaker 1: fix any imbalance that threatens that. So essentially the five 622 00:30:41,480 --> 00:30:44,960 Speaker 1: step system is a delivery system for helping you to 623 00:30:45,200 --> 00:30:48,880 Speaker 1: recognize and see how there's an imbalance, there's a threat 624 00:30:48,920 --> 00:30:51,720 Speaker 1: to my survival and how can I find out what 625 00:30:51,880 --> 00:30:55,160 Speaker 1: it means and how can I fix that? And so essentially, 626 00:30:55,600 --> 00:30:59,720 Speaker 1: this toxic trauma is going to produce signals, and that's 627 00:30:59,760 --> 00:31:02,680 Speaker 1: your non conscious mind because you have different levels of mind, 628 00:31:02,920 --> 00:31:06,040 Speaker 1: Your no unconscious mind sending a warning signal to your 629 00:31:06,080 --> 00:31:09,560 Speaker 1: conscious mind saying hey, wake up like an alarm wakes 630 00:31:09,560 --> 00:31:11,640 Speaker 1: you up like a fire alarm tells you something is 631 00:31:11,680 --> 00:31:14,280 Speaker 1: going on. There's always a source to how we are 632 00:31:14,360 --> 00:31:18,280 Speaker 1: expressing ourselves in our emotions for areas, our emotions of 633 00:31:18,440 --> 00:31:22,760 Speaker 1: physical sensations in our body, our behaviors, and our perspective 634 00:31:22,800 --> 00:31:24,880 Speaker 1: of how we're looking at life, what does it mean 635 00:31:24,920 --> 00:31:27,080 Speaker 1: to be human and to be alive? And the thought 636 00:31:27,160 --> 00:31:29,360 Speaker 1: of memory thing because at the core, whatever you do 637 00:31:29,440 --> 00:31:32,320 Speaker 1: s human. That's our core. What is our core humanity? 638 00:31:32,520 --> 00:31:34,640 Speaker 1: And what sort of level of regulation do you have? 639 00:31:34,680 --> 00:31:36,520 Speaker 1: So that just kind of the background that the system 640 00:31:36,800 --> 00:31:38,800 Speaker 1: developed out of, out of the need to understand that 641 00:31:38,880 --> 00:31:40,520 Speaker 1: and out of the need to give a patient in 642 00:31:40,560 --> 00:31:43,800 Speaker 1: a severely extreme state of traumatic brain injury or Wildsheimer's 643 00:31:43,840 --> 00:31:46,640 Speaker 1: autism or learning disabilities or something like that to help 644 00:31:46,880 --> 00:31:50,520 Speaker 1: them as well as me and my kids and everyone else, 645 00:31:50,520 --> 00:31:52,960 Speaker 1: because we've all got to mind. Your mind never stops. 646 00:31:53,160 --> 00:31:55,600 Speaker 1: You can go three weeks without food, you can go 647 00:31:55,720 --> 00:31:59,080 Speaker 1: three days without water, you can go three minutes without oxygen, 648 00:31:59,080 --> 00:32:01,240 Speaker 1: but you don't even go through seconds without your mind working. 649 00:32:01,360 --> 00:32:04,200 Speaker 1: It's your engine, and if you're not regulating it, your 650 00:32:04,240 --> 00:32:06,400 Speaker 1: mind is going to be shuffled all over the place. 651 00:32:06,480 --> 00:32:10,600 Speaker 1: Because this mind that drives everything has two major components, 652 00:32:10,600 --> 00:32:13,160 Speaker 1: two sides to it. One is the messy mind and 653 00:32:13,160 --> 00:32:15,040 Speaker 1: one is the wise mind. This is the simplest way 654 00:32:15,080 --> 00:32:17,760 Speaker 1: to understand this, and the wise the messy mind is 655 00:32:17,960 --> 00:32:20,080 Speaker 1: both of them are completely normal. We've all got them, 656 00:32:20,080 --> 00:32:22,880 Speaker 1: and they're both fantastic. The messy mind is how we 657 00:32:22,960 --> 00:32:25,560 Speaker 1: experience life like. We don't know what's coming up. We 658 00:32:25,560 --> 00:32:28,880 Speaker 1: don't control events or circumstances. We can't control people, we 659 00:32:28,920 --> 00:32:31,200 Speaker 1: can't control what happens to us. We can only control 660 00:32:31,240 --> 00:32:33,600 Speaker 1: what happens in us. We can only control our responses. 661 00:32:34,040 --> 00:32:36,960 Speaker 1: So not being able to control is all the messy mind. 662 00:32:37,280 --> 00:32:40,560 Speaker 1: You're basically an experiment in action every moment of every day. 663 00:32:40,600 --> 00:32:41,920 Speaker 1: Because you don't know what I'm going to say next. 664 00:32:41,960 --> 00:32:43,400 Speaker 1: You don't know what's going to happen in the next 665 00:32:43,480 --> 00:32:45,400 Speaker 1: moment when you finish this podcast, you don't know what's 666 00:32:45,400 --> 00:32:48,360 Speaker 1: going to happen tomorrow. So the problem comes in in 667 00:32:48,440 --> 00:32:51,920 Speaker 1: that we've got so caught up in technology and newer reductionism, 668 00:32:51,920 --> 00:32:54,560 Speaker 1: which is focused on the physical and the brain, brain, brain, 669 00:32:55,160 --> 00:32:57,960 Speaker 1: and sort of like trying to get an external goal 670 00:32:58,240 --> 00:33:02,040 Speaker 1: that we've forgotten about the prois of self regulation, which 671 00:33:02,200 --> 00:33:04,680 Speaker 1: is boops, have made a message. Okay, to make a mess, 672 00:33:04,720 --> 00:33:07,360 Speaker 1: because we have been trained to hide anything that we 673 00:33:07,520 --> 00:33:11,520 Speaker 1: have deemed weak. Meanwhile, everything that is supposedly weak with 674 00:33:11,640 --> 00:33:15,680 Speaker 1: toxic is actually a really beautiful, helpful messenger. It is 675 00:33:15,920 --> 00:33:19,440 Speaker 1: your unconscious mind and your brain and your body trying 676 00:33:19,520 --> 00:33:22,600 Speaker 1: to actually dissipate this toxic energy so that you can survive. 677 00:33:23,040 --> 00:33:25,920 Speaker 1: But instead of us welcoming those in which Eastern philosophy 678 00:33:25,920 --> 00:33:29,040 Speaker 1: actually does. And my show this with my research too, 679 00:33:29,080 --> 00:33:30,960 Speaker 1: and there's a lot of research in this field showing 680 00:33:31,000 --> 00:33:34,400 Speaker 1: that when you embrace these emotions and these behaviors and 681 00:33:34,440 --> 00:33:37,440 Speaker 1: these perspectives that are toxic, when you embrace them as 682 00:33:37,560 --> 00:33:41,040 Speaker 1: messengers as opposed to trying to hide them as bad things, 683 00:33:41,200 --> 00:33:43,840 Speaker 1: as symptoms of a disease, you completely shift you on 684 00:33:43,880 --> 00:33:46,720 Speaker 1: your physiology. So as I learned all of this, I 685 00:33:46,800 --> 00:33:48,640 Speaker 1: realized I have to create a system that's going to 686 00:33:48,720 --> 00:33:52,560 Speaker 1: help people to get into the right mind management process 687 00:33:52,680 --> 00:33:54,960 Speaker 1: that they can learn to manage their mind for the 688 00:33:55,000 --> 00:33:56,920 Speaker 1: big stuff, like the big traumas that all of us 689 00:33:56,920 --> 00:33:58,720 Speaker 1: have trauma. There is no one who's examp from trauma. 690 00:33:58,840 --> 00:34:01,560 Speaker 1: We all have depression and anxiety, just it's different degrees 691 00:34:01,600 --> 00:34:03,959 Speaker 1: at different times of our lives, and sometimes it accumulates 692 00:34:03,960 --> 00:34:05,880 Speaker 1: and we crash, and at the times we can keep 693 00:34:05,920 --> 00:34:07,960 Speaker 1: going because there's a normal level of anxiety that we 694 00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:11,359 Speaker 1: all have, and in these extreme versions because of extreme situations. 695 00:34:11,400 --> 00:34:13,879 Speaker 1: But all of those are not diseases. All of those 696 00:34:13,920 --> 00:34:18,320 Speaker 1: are human responses to just being a human in life 697 00:34:18,360 --> 00:34:21,000 Speaker 1: and the city things that happen in life, and the 698 00:34:21,080 --> 00:34:23,400 Speaker 1: nice things that happen in life. It's all our responses. 699 00:34:23,440 --> 00:34:25,600 Speaker 1: But everything is a message. So when you have peace 700 00:34:25,640 --> 00:34:29,600 Speaker 1: and calm, beautiful message, absorb that growth that focus on it, 701 00:34:29,640 --> 00:34:31,680 Speaker 1: which is what sort of meditation and those kind of 702 00:34:31,719 --> 00:34:34,120 Speaker 1: things do. But don't be scared of the bad stuff 703 00:34:34,120 --> 00:34:37,000 Speaker 1: because they're also telling you something beautiful. So what we've 704 00:34:37,000 --> 00:34:39,640 Speaker 1: got to do is help people in those different states 705 00:34:39,680 --> 00:34:42,040 Speaker 1: and ourselves, because all of us have this two different 706 00:34:42,040 --> 00:34:44,520 Speaker 1: degrees at different stages. We've got to level the playing fields, 707 00:34:44,560 --> 00:34:48,120 Speaker 1: tell ourselves it's okay, and manage those processes. And that's 708 00:34:48,160 --> 00:34:50,520 Speaker 1: what the neurocycle is. It can be used in a 709 00:34:50,520 --> 00:34:53,960 Speaker 1: heavy therapeutic sense, which therapists do, and but you want 710 00:34:53,920 --> 00:34:56,080 Speaker 1: to be a therapist. To use it, you just have 711 00:34:56,120 --> 00:34:58,880 Speaker 1: to understand the five steps, and anyone at any age 712 00:34:58,960 --> 00:35:01,160 Speaker 1: can understand them. That's why I bring out the books. 713 00:35:01,160 --> 00:35:03,040 Speaker 1: I've got an app as well, called the New Recycle 714 00:35:03,120 --> 00:35:05,520 Speaker 1: app that we're always growing and adding stuff on and 715 00:35:05,560 --> 00:35:09,080 Speaker 1: everything to help people. But it's basically a delivery system 716 00:35:09,120 --> 00:35:13,879 Speaker 1: for how can I stand back, observe these signals and 717 00:35:14,000 --> 00:35:16,680 Speaker 1: how can I become a detective find out why I'm 718 00:35:16,719 --> 00:35:19,840 Speaker 1: doing them, and then how can I reconceptualize them. The 719 00:35:19,960 --> 00:35:22,920 Speaker 1: abuse happened, the toruma happened, COVID happened, the loss happened, 720 00:35:22,960 --> 00:35:27,000 Speaker 1: the grief, the bully, It has happened. It's happened to you. 721 00:35:27,320 --> 00:35:30,839 Speaker 1: But you can change and reconceptualize what's in you and 722 00:35:31,080 --> 00:35:33,919 Speaker 1: change our place out into the future. Does that makes sense? 723 00:35:34,400 --> 00:35:36,600 Speaker 1: You know it is? And and we said it, you know, 724 00:35:36,680 --> 00:35:38,719 Speaker 1: to start, we were so excited to speak to you. 725 00:35:38,760 --> 00:35:41,480 Speaker 1: Of course, Um, you know, Mental Health Awareness Week shouldn't 726 00:35:41,480 --> 00:35:43,440 Speaker 1: just be limited to a week. It should be you know, 727 00:35:43,480 --> 00:35:48,520 Speaker 1: you're constant time. So that's why we wanted to take 728 00:35:48,560 --> 00:35:51,840 Speaker 1: this opportunity to sort of expand upon that, knowing that 729 00:35:51,880 --> 00:35:53,840 Speaker 1: we don't have as much time with you as we 730 00:35:53,880 --> 00:35:57,440 Speaker 1: obviously want. Um, is that when you mentioned the five steps, 731 00:35:57,440 --> 00:36:01,680 Speaker 1: I mean it says they're simple, scientifically proven steps. Are 732 00:36:01,719 --> 00:36:03,840 Speaker 1: they bullet points or there is something that you can do? 733 00:36:03,960 --> 00:36:06,040 Speaker 1: You know, get the thesis statement of what are those 734 00:36:06,120 --> 00:36:08,440 Speaker 1: five bullet point can give that people can put in 735 00:36:08,480 --> 00:36:12,440 Speaker 1: their pocket and take with them daily. Absolutely, so essentially 736 00:36:12,440 --> 00:36:14,520 Speaker 1: you can use it if you think of it like this. It's, 737 00:36:14,560 --> 00:36:16,680 Speaker 1: as I said, it's a delivery system. So it's basically 738 00:36:16,719 --> 00:36:19,120 Speaker 1: just the way that you organize your mind about everything. 739 00:36:19,200 --> 00:36:21,080 Speaker 1: So the easiest way to learn the system is to 740 00:36:21,120 --> 00:36:23,360 Speaker 1: practice using it for something like a toxic habit or 741 00:36:23,400 --> 00:36:25,799 Speaker 1: a toxic tumor So start at this point. Okay, what 742 00:36:25,920 --> 00:36:27,879 Speaker 1: is a pattern in your life? Start there? I think 743 00:36:28,320 --> 00:36:30,680 Speaker 1: I was listening, just think what is a disruptive pattern 744 00:36:30,680 --> 00:36:32,080 Speaker 1: in my life? At the moment, all of us have 745 00:36:32,120 --> 00:36:34,839 Speaker 1: got something. Actually, probably find that you can maybe five 746 00:36:34,960 --> 00:36:37,520 Speaker 1: or ten, and that's okay, start with number the one 747 00:36:37,560 --> 00:36:41,080 Speaker 1: that's like that you drink is the highest problematic, disruptive 748 00:36:41,520 --> 00:36:43,839 Speaker 1: feature in your life at the moment. Pattern. Okay, that's 749 00:36:43,840 --> 00:36:46,440 Speaker 1: a good place to start. Then once you've identified that, 750 00:36:46,520 --> 00:36:48,680 Speaker 1: then you stand back and you say, okay, this is 751 00:36:48,719 --> 00:36:51,839 Speaker 1: a very normal human reaction. There's nothing wrong with me. 752 00:36:52,120 --> 00:36:55,160 Speaker 1: I'm going through something even linked to let's say it's 753 00:36:55,160 --> 00:36:57,200 Speaker 1: an addiction. Maybe you addicted to something at the moment, 754 00:36:57,200 --> 00:37:00,600 Speaker 1: maybe you like an alcoholic, or you um into drugs 755 00:37:00,640 --> 00:37:04,120 Speaker 1: and that kind of thing. Even that is not that 756 00:37:04,160 --> 00:37:06,840 Speaker 1: you are diseased. It is that you are using that 757 00:37:06,920 --> 00:37:09,719 Speaker 1: as a coping mechanism. So there's a reason why you 758 00:37:09,800 --> 00:37:12,279 Speaker 1: feel the need to be drinking at this stage. You're 759 00:37:12,280 --> 00:37:16,760 Speaker 1: taking drugs or over exercising or under eating or over whatever. 760 00:37:16,840 --> 00:37:19,759 Speaker 1: Everything we do always has reasons. You've got to tell 761 00:37:19,800 --> 00:37:22,040 Speaker 1: yourself that's the pattern that's worrying me, and there's a 762 00:37:22,080 --> 00:37:24,319 Speaker 1: reason why I'm doing it, and it's okay, that's my 763 00:37:24,400 --> 00:37:27,480 Speaker 1: messy mind trying to deal with life. But I have 764 00:37:27,680 --> 00:37:30,360 Speaker 1: a wise mind. Everyone has this at their core. We 765 00:37:30,440 --> 00:37:34,360 Speaker 1: call it wired for love, and literally there's no structure 766 00:37:34,400 --> 00:37:37,480 Speaker 1: in the brain or the body that is wired for 767 00:37:37,880 --> 00:37:40,920 Speaker 1: not managing the mess. We are wired to make a 768 00:37:41,000 --> 00:37:44,320 Speaker 1: mess and manage it. Were wired to make the mistakes, 769 00:37:44,440 --> 00:37:47,960 Speaker 1: repair and grow. We're not wired to not make any mistakes. 770 00:37:48,000 --> 00:37:50,800 Speaker 1: That's a ridiculous goal that we've set in the self 771 00:37:50,800 --> 00:37:53,080 Speaker 1: help industry that you can always be positive and you 772 00:37:53,080 --> 00:37:55,840 Speaker 1: can always attract positive things and just say teen positive 773 00:37:55,840 --> 00:37:59,520 Speaker 1: affirmations and say teen gratitude statements. If you start your 774 00:37:59,560 --> 00:38:02,000 Speaker 1: gratitude diary but you haven't dealt with your core issues, 775 00:38:02,160 --> 00:38:03,680 Speaker 1: you are going to shift a little bit, but you're 776 00:38:03,680 --> 00:38:05,360 Speaker 1: actually going to fall back because you're just trying to 777 00:38:05,400 --> 00:38:07,120 Speaker 1: slap a band aid on a bulletoo. And as one 778 00:38:07,120 --> 00:38:10,080 Speaker 1: of my friends would say, so essentially, you come into 779 00:38:10,120 --> 00:38:13,719 Speaker 1: the neuro cycle with the attitude of it's okay, it's 780 00:38:13,719 --> 00:38:16,400 Speaker 1: okay to do The humans from the beginning of time 781 00:38:16,680 --> 00:38:19,120 Speaker 1: have done lousy things and have battled or have been 782 00:38:19,200 --> 00:38:22,799 Speaker 1: victims of terrible things. All of us need the opportunity 783 00:38:22,840 --> 00:38:24,759 Speaker 1: to be able to express our story because everyone has 784 00:38:24,880 --> 00:38:27,279 Speaker 1: multiple stories, and the longer we suppress that, the more 785 00:38:27,320 --> 00:38:29,480 Speaker 1: we are going to die younger. And just before I 786 00:38:29,520 --> 00:38:32,200 Speaker 1: dive into the steps. We are in an era now 787 00:38:32,600 --> 00:38:35,399 Speaker 1: where we've been the most advanced technologically and medically wise, 788 00:38:35,400 --> 00:38:37,680 Speaker 1: which everyone knows. But what we don't know, which is 789 00:38:37,719 --> 00:38:40,920 Speaker 1: not being spoken about enough, is that despite that, the 790 00:38:41,000 --> 00:38:44,160 Speaker 1: decades trend of people living longer has reversed. So even 791 00:38:44,200 --> 00:38:47,440 Speaker 1: prior to COVID, people have been dying eight to twenty 792 00:38:47,480 --> 00:38:51,120 Speaker 1: five years younger than they should from preventable lifestyle diseases 793 00:38:51,280 --> 00:38:54,560 Speaker 1: in this modern era, can you believe it? So from 794 00:38:56,080 --> 00:38:58,560 Speaker 1: fourteen they picked up the strain and it's from preventable 795 00:38:58,600 --> 00:39:01,520 Speaker 1: lifestyle disease. So people are going from stress induced diseases. 796 00:39:01,520 --> 00:39:05,040 Speaker 1: We've established the link between unmanaged mind and toxic stress 797 00:39:05,080 --> 00:39:08,360 Speaker 1: and physiological damage. If for every unmanaged toxic thought, the 798 00:39:08,440 --> 00:39:12,000 Speaker 1: vulnerability in your body increases, and over time that increases, 799 00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:13,759 Speaker 1: it gets more and more and more. Eventually you can 800 00:39:13,800 --> 00:39:17,640 Speaker 1: be cirty five to vulnerable in your body to disease 801 00:39:17,800 --> 00:39:20,480 Speaker 1: from unmanaged minds. And that's what's happening. People are dying 802 00:39:20,520 --> 00:39:23,240 Speaker 1: from cardiovascular events because they've just never had a chance 803 00:39:23,239 --> 00:39:26,240 Speaker 1: to really process the issues, and then they are developing 804 00:39:26,280 --> 00:39:29,640 Speaker 1: addictions and overall under exercising and eating the wrong foods 805 00:39:29,640 --> 00:39:31,960 Speaker 1: and all of that combines to a lifestyle combination that 806 00:39:32,000 --> 00:39:35,120 Speaker 1: creates chaos and your hot packs up, and that's unnecessary. 807 00:39:35,200 --> 00:39:38,359 Speaker 1: We know enough to not have that happening. We can 808 00:39:38,480 --> 00:39:41,359 Speaker 1: live full, healthy lives even when we sick. People can 809 00:39:41,400 --> 00:39:44,520 Speaker 1: live pretty full healthy lives because that's been shown as well. 810 00:39:44,840 --> 00:39:46,960 Speaker 1: So the neurocycle comes from all of that angle, and 811 00:39:46,960 --> 00:39:48,920 Speaker 1: it's so important that you come from that mindset. So 812 00:39:49,040 --> 00:39:52,720 Speaker 1: essentially it's very systematic. It drives the brain. I've actually 813 00:39:52,719 --> 00:39:55,600 Speaker 1: got a chart in the book, and the chart breaks 814 00:39:55,640 --> 00:39:57,880 Speaker 1: down the five steps. It's a very simple overview of 815 00:39:57,920 --> 00:39:59,839 Speaker 1: see which pages are. If anyone who's got the book 816 00:39:59,920 --> 00:40:02,719 Speaker 1: or getting the book on page one, but there's a 817 00:40:02,800 --> 00:40:05,600 Speaker 1: chance that has the five steps in the middle of 818 00:40:05,680 --> 00:40:08,200 Speaker 1: the book, and I say, step one is this, and 819 00:40:08,200 --> 00:40:09,919 Speaker 1: then it does this in the brain, this in the body, 820 00:40:10,000 --> 00:40:12,279 Speaker 1: this in the mind, because those are three different things. 821 00:40:12,360 --> 00:40:15,000 Speaker 1: And so the first thing is that whole mindset stuff 822 00:40:15,000 --> 00:40:16,600 Speaker 1: I've just given you. They come in with that attitude. 823 00:40:16,600 --> 00:40:19,080 Speaker 1: This is helpful. It's so critical. I cannot stress that 824 00:40:19,200 --> 00:40:21,279 Speaker 1: enough because if you don't, you're going to come into 825 00:40:21,280 --> 00:40:24,680 Speaker 1: the neurocycle concept beating yourself, being unkind to yourself and 826 00:40:24,719 --> 00:40:28,480 Speaker 1: already fourteen d physiological responses are working against you, so 827 00:40:28,520 --> 00:40:31,319 Speaker 1: your resilience is already dropped. So for example, if you think, oh, 828 00:40:31,440 --> 00:40:33,200 Speaker 1: I'm bad and this is terrible, and I'm sick and 829 00:40:33,200 --> 00:40:35,120 Speaker 1: I'm brained, I'm crazy, I'm this and I'm useless and 830 00:40:35,120 --> 00:40:36,319 Speaker 1: I'm shame, and you know, I've got to do this 831 00:40:36,360 --> 00:40:37,960 Speaker 1: and it's another thing I've got to do. And if 832 00:40:37,960 --> 00:40:40,400 Speaker 1: you come in with that, one of the fourteen hundred 833 00:40:40,440 --> 00:40:42,719 Speaker 1: responses that will happen is that the blood this is 834 00:40:42,760 --> 00:40:46,000 Speaker 1: around your heart will constrict, and instead of constricting and 835 00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:48,719 Speaker 1: relaxing and constricting and relaxing, they'll stay in a constricted 836 00:40:48,760 --> 00:40:51,600 Speaker 1: straight chronically so for long period. That will decrease blood 837 00:40:51,600 --> 00:40:53,960 Speaker 1: flow and oxygen to your brain, which will decrease your 838 00:40:54,000 --> 00:40:57,040 Speaker 1: ability to think clearly and increase your chance of a stroke. 839 00:40:58,040 --> 00:41:00,080 Speaker 1: So that's not a good thing. And then then you 840 00:41:00,120 --> 00:41:02,760 Speaker 1: get another signal to your kidneys to increase the salt 841 00:41:02,760 --> 00:41:06,320 Speaker 1: water in your blood to constrict the blood vessels again, 842 00:41:06,560 --> 00:41:08,640 Speaker 1: but just supposed to only be a temporary thing. To 843 00:41:08,840 --> 00:41:11,280 Speaker 1: have a bursting blood pressure, then it's supposed to relax, 844 00:41:11,280 --> 00:41:13,520 Speaker 1: but then it doesn't stop, so you can hyper attension 845 00:41:13,760 --> 00:41:16,319 Speaker 1: your blood pressure increases, and that also increases your risk 846 00:41:16,360 --> 00:41:19,720 Speaker 1: of stroke and cumulatively, over time, these things just break 847 00:41:19,800 --> 00:41:22,240 Speaker 1: down our body. But if we come in and say 848 00:41:22,640 --> 00:41:26,200 Speaker 1: life is so hard, this has happened, that's happened, and 849 00:41:26,200 --> 00:41:28,920 Speaker 1: we're all honest about it, three percent of leaders are 850 00:41:28,920 --> 00:41:31,560 Speaker 1: only talking about this. If of us were saying, I 851 00:41:31,600 --> 00:41:33,719 Speaker 1: had such a lousy day, this is the field I'm 852 00:41:33,719 --> 00:41:36,000 Speaker 1: going to this in my life, and we all accept 853 00:41:36,040 --> 00:41:38,160 Speaker 1: it with each other. It becomes the norm to be 854 00:41:38,200 --> 00:41:41,239 Speaker 1: able to express and support and get it out, we 855 00:41:41,239 --> 00:41:43,560 Speaker 1: would find a much healthier society. We wouldn't have such 856 00:41:43,560 --> 00:41:45,919 Speaker 1: a broken identities and song because you're trying to hide 857 00:41:45,920 --> 00:41:48,440 Speaker 1: behind this venea and pretend everything is cool and wonderful 858 00:41:48,440 --> 00:41:50,799 Speaker 1: when it's not, and it's and it's okay that it's not. 859 00:41:51,120 --> 00:41:54,040 Speaker 1: And then just to get down to the practical brass 860 00:41:54,080 --> 00:41:57,239 Speaker 1: text routes, this cycle works over sixties three days. One 861 00:41:57,280 --> 00:41:59,080 Speaker 1: of the things that I did research is how long 862 00:41:59,080 --> 00:42:02,080 Speaker 1: does it take to add actually breakdown a memory and 863 00:42:02,200 --> 00:42:05,120 Speaker 1: to change to that it's the new memory that sorry 864 00:42:05,160 --> 00:42:07,440 Speaker 1: thought sorts are made of memories. That's the thought, and 865 00:42:07,440 --> 00:42:10,160 Speaker 1: then all the little branches of the memories, So memories 866 00:42:10,160 --> 00:42:13,040 Speaker 1: are different too, thoughts thoughts the concept tree, and then 867 00:42:13,080 --> 00:42:15,680 Speaker 1: the detail is in the memory, so the feeling memories, 868 00:42:15,800 --> 00:42:19,680 Speaker 1: data memories, what happened, that's all the roots, branches, etcetera. Okay, 869 00:42:20,120 --> 00:42:23,960 Speaker 1: so it takes twenty one days to actually build a 870 00:42:24,080 --> 00:42:27,200 Speaker 1: memory of a concept. Okay, so twenty one days to 871 00:42:27,200 --> 00:42:29,279 Speaker 1: to build something, So it takes to any one days 872 00:42:29,320 --> 00:42:31,640 Speaker 1: also to break down then, but that's sort a habit. 873 00:42:31,719 --> 00:42:33,879 Speaker 1: We've always been told that habits form in two any 874 00:42:33,880 --> 00:42:35,480 Speaker 1: one days. That's a meth It was just a myth 875 00:42:35,520 --> 00:42:37,720 Speaker 1: that's been promulgated. It's not science at all. It takes 876 00:42:37,760 --> 00:42:40,359 Speaker 1: an average sixty to sixty six days, right, I found 877 00:42:40,400 --> 00:42:42,640 Speaker 1: in my research sixty three days, but it will take 878 00:42:42,640 --> 00:42:44,600 Speaker 1: a couple of days on other side. And it's three 879 00:42:44,600 --> 00:42:47,320 Speaker 1: cycles of twenty one. And the first cycle is where 880 00:42:47,360 --> 00:42:51,920 Speaker 1: you identify from the signals to the root of what's happening, 881 00:42:51,920 --> 00:42:55,120 Speaker 1: and you deconstruct and you reconstruct, and that process takes 882 00:42:55,200 --> 00:42:57,839 Speaker 1: about twenty one days, and sometimes you only do part 883 00:42:57,840 --> 00:42:59,800 Speaker 1: of it and then you have to do another cycle. 884 00:43:00,360 --> 00:43:03,439 Speaker 1: Then once you've created got to this point, you then 885 00:43:03,480 --> 00:43:06,520 Speaker 1: spend another forty two days turning this into a habit. 886 00:43:06,719 --> 00:43:08,839 Speaker 1: Because This is hard work, and you don't build rome 887 00:43:08,880 --> 00:43:11,160 Speaker 1: in a day. You can't fix it in one cycle 888 00:43:11,520 --> 00:43:14,080 Speaker 1: each day. It's designed that your brain as a little 889 00:43:14,080 --> 00:43:16,680 Speaker 1: bit each day. That's how you are sustainable. And it 890 00:43:16,719 --> 00:43:18,520 Speaker 1: can take a bit of discipline to get yourself back 891 00:43:18,560 --> 00:43:20,480 Speaker 1: into it. Like if you've got no exercise routine, it 892 00:43:20,480 --> 00:43:23,239 Speaker 1: takes you. It's the same principle operating. But once you've 893 00:43:23,280 --> 00:43:25,880 Speaker 1: done one cycle, it changes your life completely because you 894 00:43:25,960 --> 00:43:28,200 Speaker 1: suddenly see, hey, I feel depressed, but I don't have 895 00:43:28,239 --> 00:43:30,439 Speaker 1: to stay there. It doesn't have to affect my whole day, 896 00:43:30,480 --> 00:43:33,480 Speaker 1: my whole life, my every relationship. I can actually manage this. 897 00:43:33,560 --> 00:43:35,680 Speaker 1: I can get through this. You Also, it's such a 898 00:43:35,680 --> 00:43:38,120 Speaker 1: relief because it's okay to feel like this. I'm not 899 00:43:38,160 --> 00:43:40,000 Speaker 1: a bad person. I'm not a broken person, not a 900 00:43:40,040 --> 00:43:42,440 Speaker 1: brain disease. But I'm not crazy. I'm just a normal 901 00:43:42,520 --> 00:43:44,800 Speaker 1: human who's going through life. This is just a signal, 902 00:43:44,840 --> 00:43:47,440 Speaker 1: this is just a response. There is a reason. So 903 00:43:47,480 --> 00:43:50,360 Speaker 1: the first step then is is to gather awareness. The 904 00:43:50,360 --> 00:43:52,840 Speaker 1: second step is reflects the third and fourth or right steps, 905 00:43:52,840 --> 00:43:55,239 Speaker 1: and the first step is an action step that disciplines 906 00:43:55,320 --> 00:43:58,120 Speaker 1: you to not ruminate. That's basically the essence of it 907 00:43:58,360 --> 00:44:01,680 Speaker 1: in the first step, which is called other awareness. Gather 908 00:44:01,880 --> 00:44:05,760 Speaker 1: is every word, every description has been very scientifically tested. 909 00:44:06,080 --> 00:44:09,359 Speaker 1: Gather is an agency giving word. It's an empowering word. 910 00:44:09,719 --> 00:44:12,000 Speaker 1: It means that I'm not being having I don't have 911 00:44:12,040 --> 00:44:13,839 Speaker 1: all the apple treese falling on my head of life. 912 00:44:13,920 --> 00:44:15,919 Speaker 1: You all sitting under the apple tree. Everything is falling 913 00:44:15,920 --> 00:44:17,520 Speaker 1: on my head and I'm overwhelmed. I'm not doing that. 914 00:44:17,600 --> 00:44:20,840 Speaker 1: I'm actually standing back and I'm selecting. I'll pick that 915 00:44:20,880 --> 00:44:23,319 Speaker 1: apple today. I can only deal with that apple. I'll 916 00:44:23,360 --> 00:44:26,120 Speaker 1: gather that one. I'll put that in my basket. I'll 917 00:44:26,160 --> 00:44:28,320 Speaker 1: become aware of that and I'll deal with that today. 918 00:44:28,600 --> 00:44:32,320 Speaker 1: So it's a gathering of awareness too that you control 919 00:44:32,400 --> 00:44:35,799 Speaker 1: the process. Now, there's four basic areas that you gather 920 00:44:35,800 --> 00:44:38,200 Speaker 1: awareness of, but before you do that, you need to 921 00:44:38,200 --> 00:44:40,440 Speaker 1: prepare your brain. So as you sit down and start 922 00:44:40,480 --> 00:44:42,480 Speaker 1: the neurocycle, if you do the app you'll see there's 923 00:44:42,480 --> 00:44:45,600 Speaker 1: a two to three minute little preparation exercise and that's 924 00:44:45,600 --> 00:44:49,040 Speaker 1: the breathing stuff for meditation or tapping or havening or 925 00:44:49,200 --> 00:44:52,920 Speaker 1: like all these little different exercises that change your neurophysiology 926 00:44:52,960 --> 00:44:55,600 Speaker 1: and bring your neurochemistry into balance and balance the two 927 00:44:55,600 --> 00:44:57,879 Speaker 1: sides of your brain. And they don't fix anything, They 928 00:44:57,960 --> 00:45:01,200 Speaker 1: just increase awareness and they propel your brain and body 929 00:45:01,239 --> 00:45:04,279 Speaker 1: for the work. So I call all of that brain preparation, 930 00:45:05,000 --> 00:45:07,000 Speaker 1: and then you can do in your life that then 931 00:45:07,080 --> 00:45:09,680 Speaker 1: do a little brain preparation before and then you dive 932 00:45:09,760 --> 00:45:12,200 Speaker 1: into the five steps, of which gathered witness is the 933 00:45:12,239 --> 00:45:14,279 Speaker 1: first I wish I had all the time with you, 934 00:45:14,320 --> 00:45:16,239 Speaker 1: I think. If that that's exactly why it's important for 935 00:45:16,280 --> 00:45:17,959 Speaker 1: everyone to go out and grab this book because there's 936 00:45:17,960 --> 00:45:22,040 Speaker 1: so many layers to reversing the neurocycle and reversing you know, 937 00:45:22,080 --> 00:45:23,600 Speaker 1: even why we wanted to have you one today and 938 00:45:23,640 --> 00:45:25,360 Speaker 1: again thank you for bringing here, was to reverse the 939 00:45:25,360 --> 00:45:28,880 Speaker 1: stereotypes and the stigmas that are attached to mental health, 940 00:45:28,920 --> 00:45:31,600 Speaker 1: and that there are so many layers and as you've 941 00:45:31,640 --> 00:45:35,240 Speaker 1: demonstrated in your UM, your plant analogy the root system. 942 00:45:35,360 --> 00:45:38,000 Speaker 1: So it is so important for everyone to educate themselves 943 00:45:38,000 --> 00:45:39,840 Speaker 1: on that because we don't want those kinds of plants 944 00:45:39,840 --> 00:45:42,360 Speaker 1: in our mind. UM Cleaning up your mental mess The 945 00:45:42,440 --> 00:45:45,920 Speaker 1: five simple, scientifically proven steps to reduce anxiety, stress, and 946 00:45:46,040 --> 00:45:48,879 Speaker 1: toxic thinking. Caroline Leaf, thank you so much. You also 947 00:45:48,920 --> 00:45:51,880 Speaker 1: have your podcast, which will dive into this even further. 948 00:45:52,120 --> 00:45:54,600 Speaker 1: I I'm first of all, I didn't even know there 949 00:45:54,600 --> 00:45:57,000 Speaker 1: was a difference between brain and mind until speaking to you, 950 00:45:57,200 --> 00:46:00,640 Speaker 1: so I most people don't. Yeah. So I I have 951 00:46:00,680 --> 00:46:02,719 Speaker 1: a lot of things to explore. And you've done an 952 00:46:02,719 --> 00:46:05,640 Speaker 1: incredible job of educating our our listeners and viewers in 953 00:46:05,640 --> 00:46:07,560 Speaker 1: a short amount of time. I know that I've now 954 00:46:07,600 --> 00:46:10,160 Speaker 1: want to scratch the surface further. So thank you, so 955 00:46:10,160 --> 00:46:13,919 Speaker 1: so so much. Thank you, Thanks me on your show, 956 00:46:14,320 --> 00:46:26,719 Speaker 1: Bye bye, thank you. Welcome back, everybody. This is the 957 00:46:26,760 --> 00:46:29,520 Speaker 1: Calm Down Podcast, and I will not calm down about 958 00:46:29,560 --> 00:46:33,040 Speaker 1: the education. Dr Caroline Leaf just schooled us in I 959 00:46:33,239 --> 00:46:34,840 Speaker 1: whenever I hear someone like that, and I know you 960 00:46:34,880 --> 00:46:37,000 Speaker 1: probably feel the same way, I'm humbled by like I 961 00:46:37,040 --> 00:46:38,840 Speaker 1: don't know anything. I mean, I didn't even know the 962 00:46:38,840 --> 00:46:40,839 Speaker 1: difference between the mind and the brain. But I am 963 00:46:40,920 --> 00:46:44,800 Speaker 1: so curious because I mean, Aaron, our background in sports, 964 00:46:45,200 --> 00:46:47,040 Speaker 1: you know, you hear it all the time that this 965 00:46:47,040 --> 00:46:51,080 Speaker 1: thing it's sports or mental and ten percent physical, and 966 00:46:51,560 --> 00:46:55,919 Speaker 1: you know players ability to compartmentalize things that are going 967 00:46:56,000 --> 00:46:59,280 Speaker 1: on and then have their actions follow I just I definitely, 968 00:47:00,040 --> 00:47:02,160 Speaker 1: I mean, I couldn't understand everything she was saying because 969 00:47:02,239 --> 00:47:04,399 Speaker 1: just so smart. But I'm curious to to dive more 970 00:47:04,520 --> 00:47:07,319 Speaker 1: into her book. And I know that it's important for 971 00:47:07,400 --> 00:47:09,680 Speaker 1: me to get out of my head with certain things 972 00:47:09,719 --> 00:47:12,480 Speaker 1: and understand why we think the way that we do. 973 00:47:12,640 --> 00:47:15,800 Speaker 1: How did you feel about it all? Well, two things. Um, 974 00:47:15,840 --> 00:47:18,359 Speaker 1: the brain is very interesting to me because I mean, 975 00:47:18,560 --> 00:47:21,880 Speaker 1: I married somebody who had a lot of head injuries. 976 00:47:21,920 --> 00:47:23,680 Speaker 1: You know, we're around guys that have done that, So 977 00:47:23,719 --> 00:47:27,799 Speaker 1: I'm always curious about like brain and mental exercises and 978 00:47:27,880 --> 00:47:30,319 Speaker 1: things like that. Um, you know, And I thought that 979 00:47:30,400 --> 00:47:33,960 Speaker 1: was so refreshing story she first told about somebody that 980 00:47:34,040 --> 00:47:37,560 Speaker 1: suffered an accident and getting them back on track physically 981 00:47:37,640 --> 00:47:39,880 Speaker 1: as well as mentally. I love the fact that you 982 00:47:39,920 --> 00:47:42,400 Speaker 1: can go in and kind of re teach yourself, so 983 00:47:42,440 --> 00:47:44,439 Speaker 1: I thought that was huge. I also wanted to ask, 984 00:47:44,480 --> 00:47:47,960 Speaker 1: but I know we were short on time. Just I 985 00:47:48,000 --> 00:47:50,919 Speaker 1: didn't need to ask because I get it how much 986 00:47:51,000 --> 00:47:54,080 Speaker 1: you need to take care of your mental your mentals, 987 00:47:54,800 --> 00:47:59,480 Speaker 1: Marshall Lynch, because your physicals physicals. Yeah, well then follow 988 00:47:59,520 --> 00:48:01,040 Speaker 1: you know what I mean. I mean, I am so 989 00:48:01,160 --> 00:48:03,360 Speaker 1: convinced and this is so crazy. And while we're getting 990 00:48:03,400 --> 00:48:06,040 Speaker 1: deep today on this one. I mean after my whole 991 00:48:06,160 --> 00:48:09,560 Speaker 1: thing with the you know, stalking incident, and then I 992 00:48:09,600 --> 00:48:12,280 Speaker 1: was on trial my dad. Well, first of all, after 993 00:48:12,320 --> 00:48:15,520 Speaker 1: I was um, we found out I had a stalker, 994 00:48:15,560 --> 00:48:18,600 Speaker 1: and that whole thing came out. My dad three months 995 00:48:18,680 --> 00:48:22,360 Speaker 1: later was diagnosed with prostate cancer. And I am convinced 996 00:48:22,440 --> 00:48:24,920 Speaker 1: in my head that was because of this dress that 997 00:48:24,960 --> 00:48:28,319 Speaker 1: my family was going through. After my trial, which was 998 00:48:28,360 --> 00:48:31,760 Speaker 1: the most anxiety, maybe besides this week I've ever suffered 999 00:48:31,840 --> 00:48:35,480 Speaker 1: in my life, I was diagnosed with cervical cancer. And 1000 00:48:35,600 --> 00:48:38,319 Speaker 1: I do believe that if you and I do and 1001 00:48:38,360 --> 00:48:40,279 Speaker 1: I love you, and you've said this to me, and 1002 00:48:40,320 --> 00:48:42,359 Speaker 1: my girlfriends have been saying it to me all week, 1003 00:48:42,760 --> 00:48:46,320 Speaker 1: you keep your ship in, it's gonna come out another way, 1004 00:48:46,440 --> 00:48:48,000 Speaker 1: and it's not going to be a healthy way. And 1005 00:48:48,040 --> 00:48:50,520 Speaker 1: I think I didn't need her to say that, but 1006 00:48:50,640 --> 00:48:53,319 Speaker 1: she was getting around to it. And I've got this 1007 00:48:53,360 --> 00:48:55,840 Speaker 1: book coming tomorrow and I can't wait to crack it 1008 00:48:55,880 --> 00:48:59,120 Speaker 1: open because I have such a journey to be on 1009 00:48:59,320 --> 00:49:02,799 Speaker 1: right now for myself and for my family that I 1010 00:49:02,840 --> 00:49:07,560 Speaker 1: need to get my head clear and right. And I 1011 00:49:07,640 --> 00:49:09,719 Speaker 1: was curious when you were sitting there listening to her. 1012 00:49:09,760 --> 00:49:13,080 Speaker 1: I hold my tension in my chest and in my throat. 1013 00:49:13,560 --> 00:49:17,040 Speaker 1: Were you feeling any any bit of anxiousness when because 1014 00:49:17,080 --> 00:49:19,480 Speaker 1: you were thinking of your own traumas. Yeah, I mean 1015 00:49:19,600 --> 00:49:22,160 Speaker 1: I I don't. I don't feel it physically the way 1016 00:49:22,160 --> 00:49:26,279 Speaker 1: that you do. I think I feel things so emotionally. Hence, 1017 00:49:26,360 --> 00:49:29,400 Speaker 1: like why when you're hurting like I cry, or like 1018 00:49:29,440 --> 00:49:32,480 Speaker 1: when like whether we have a fight or whether Kyle 1019 00:49:32,560 --> 00:49:34,760 Speaker 1: or whatever have a fight, like I cry, Like that's 1020 00:49:34,800 --> 00:49:37,719 Speaker 1: my release. But I think that going back to what 1021 00:49:37,760 --> 00:49:40,799 Speaker 1: you're saying, that that's good because I don't, right, that's 1022 00:49:40,840 --> 00:49:42,560 Speaker 1: my release of things or you know, you and I 1023 00:49:42,600 --> 00:49:44,359 Speaker 1: always talk about it. If we're in a bad mood, 1024 00:49:44,520 --> 00:49:46,360 Speaker 1: go for a run, get on the bike, like we 1025 00:49:46,440 --> 00:49:49,520 Speaker 1: need to release that. I mean, by the way, I've 1026 00:49:49,520 --> 00:49:52,360 Speaker 1: been hitting personal records on this platon this week like 1027 00:49:52,440 --> 00:49:56,960 Speaker 1: nobody's business. I've been fucking crushing the ship silver. That's 1028 00:49:56,960 --> 00:50:00,839 Speaker 1: what we're talking about. Um. But yeah, it's definitely a release, 1029 00:50:00,920 --> 00:50:02,520 Speaker 1: think about it. I Mean, I'm no doctor, but like 1030 00:50:02,560 --> 00:50:06,279 Speaker 1: serotonin levels and endorphins and all of those things. That's 1031 00:50:06,360 --> 00:50:09,480 Speaker 1: crazy though I had never until you just mentioned it, 1032 00:50:10,320 --> 00:50:13,920 Speaker 1: that correlation between your health and your father's health and 1033 00:50:13,960 --> 00:50:15,799 Speaker 1: all the stress, and then I think to myself like, 1034 00:50:15,880 --> 00:50:19,319 Speaker 1: holy shit, like haven't you been through enough? And it's 1035 00:50:19,400 --> 00:50:21,600 Speaker 1: that that thing of you know, my dad always talks 1036 00:50:21,600 --> 00:50:24,239 Speaker 1: about it's not what happens to you, it's how you 1037 00:50:24,320 --> 00:50:27,200 Speaker 1: react to what happened to you. And when she mentioned 1038 00:50:27,200 --> 00:50:29,880 Speaker 1: that in you know, and even the short amount of 1039 00:50:29,880 --> 00:50:31,920 Speaker 1: time we got with her, I thought about that. I 1040 00:50:31,960 --> 00:50:36,640 Speaker 1: was like, like, that's it's so mental. How your next 1041 00:50:36,840 --> 00:50:39,799 Speaker 1: steps of what you're gonna do, independent of something you 1042 00:50:39,840 --> 00:50:43,520 Speaker 1: couldn't control, could define what happens after that, or you know, 1043 00:50:43,600 --> 00:50:46,000 Speaker 1: same thing for me. I mean, I had that weird 1044 00:50:46,080 --> 00:50:48,960 Speaker 1: guy that's stocker guy, and then I had that the 1045 00:50:49,440 --> 00:50:51,799 Speaker 1: hacking of my phone and all of that stuff that 1046 00:50:51,880 --> 00:50:54,640 Speaker 1: came out, and I remember, you know, my dad being like, 1047 00:50:54,680 --> 00:50:56,360 Speaker 1: all right, you get a couple of days to be sad, 1048 00:50:56,560 --> 00:50:59,040 Speaker 1: and now we're next play mentality in this household that 1049 00:50:59,120 --> 00:51:02,560 Speaker 1: guess what, four quarters, there's been a few turnovers, some 1050 00:51:02,640 --> 00:51:05,040 Speaker 1: of them not your fault, but guess what, this game 1051 00:51:05,080 --> 00:51:07,600 Speaker 1: ain't over, and you get a choice on if you 1052 00:51:07,640 --> 00:51:09,279 Speaker 1: want to win or if you want to lose, and 1053 00:51:09,320 --> 00:51:11,960 Speaker 1: it's all predicated on your actions in response to it. 1054 00:51:12,080 --> 00:51:15,200 Speaker 1: So I I believe in exhausting all options. And it 1055 00:51:15,280 --> 00:51:18,520 Speaker 1: starts with that mental mindset of this thing ain't over, 1056 00:51:19,000 --> 00:51:21,439 Speaker 1: so you know, you we can sit and cry about things, 1057 00:51:21,520 --> 00:51:23,160 Speaker 1: or we can put actions to it. And so I 1058 00:51:23,200 --> 00:51:25,680 Speaker 1: just sort of was raised in that more of that 1059 00:51:25,840 --> 00:51:29,520 Speaker 1: you know mentality of um, okay, well that can sucks, 1060 00:51:29,600 --> 00:51:31,759 Speaker 1: but let's go. It sounds like a peck talk I 1061 00:51:31,840 --> 00:51:33,960 Speaker 1: got the other morning as I was walking my dog, 1062 00:51:34,000 --> 00:51:35,960 Speaker 1: and you know what's great about that, I was crying 1063 00:51:36,000 --> 00:51:37,960 Speaker 1: so hard with you and I just had all this 1064 00:51:38,080 --> 00:51:40,839 Speaker 1: crap coming down my nose. I had how He's leash 1065 00:51:40,880 --> 00:51:42,640 Speaker 1: in one hand, I had the phone in the other 1066 00:51:42,680 --> 00:51:44,720 Speaker 1: and a poop bag in the other so I couldn't 1067 00:51:45,040 --> 00:51:47,839 Speaker 1: wipe the ship coming out of my nose. Like I 1068 00:51:47,880 --> 00:51:50,080 Speaker 1: literally walked in the house and like Jarrett was making 1069 00:51:50,080 --> 00:51:52,200 Speaker 1: coffee and getting out and he's like okay, and I 1070 00:51:52,280 --> 00:51:55,560 Speaker 1: was like, I just got and he was like, you 1071 00:51:55,640 --> 00:51:58,160 Speaker 1: need a tissue. I was like, but I got a 1072 00:51:58,160 --> 00:52:01,480 Speaker 1: poop bag. Bull. I love you, and you know what, 1073 00:52:01,640 --> 00:52:04,040 Speaker 1: life is full of a bunch of ship literally. But 1074 00:52:05,320 --> 00:52:07,919 Speaker 1: another thing too that I love about you is there's 1075 00:52:08,000 --> 00:52:10,440 Speaker 1: humor involved in all of this, and we have to 1076 00:52:10,520 --> 00:52:14,160 Speaker 1: laugh because that releases again, not a doctor, some positivity 1077 00:52:14,239 --> 00:52:17,080 Speaker 1: and not again. This has been a very heavy podcast. 1078 00:52:17,360 --> 00:52:19,560 Speaker 1: But remember when Alyssa got her brain to my niece 1079 00:52:19,600 --> 00:52:22,839 Speaker 1: diagnosed with a brain tumor at six years old, and 1080 00:52:23,000 --> 00:52:24,640 Speaker 1: you were there for me every step of the way. 1081 00:52:24,640 --> 00:52:27,600 Speaker 1: And I was a mess. You know who wasn't a mess? Alyssa? 1082 00:52:27,719 --> 00:52:29,600 Speaker 1: You know what she did. People would bring like, you know, 1083 00:52:29,600 --> 00:52:32,600 Speaker 1: stuffed animals and balloons and flowers into her room. At 1084 00:52:32,719 --> 00:52:34,880 Speaker 1: six years old, she goes, guys, I don't really need 1085 00:52:34,920 --> 00:52:37,440 Speaker 1: any more presents. Can you just make a financial donation 1086 00:52:37,480 --> 00:52:40,080 Speaker 1: to help the other kids at Children's hospital. She then 1087 00:52:40,120 --> 00:52:43,520 Speaker 1: went on television and donated a check for other children 1088 00:52:43,520 --> 00:52:46,640 Speaker 1: with pediatric cancer. I said, you know, and now listens 1089 00:52:46,680 --> 00:52:48,480 Speaker 1: in college and like all of these things, and I 1090 00:52:48,520 --> 00:52:52,160 Speaker 1: just think about her, you know, and how six years 1091 00:52:52,160 --> 00:52:53,960 Speaker 1: old with a brain tumor and other kids are like 1092 00:52:54,000 --> 00:52:56,520 Speaker 1: outside playing and she's raising money. I'm like, Jesus, I 1093 00:52:56,560 --> 00:53:00,640 Speaker 1: need to like your gorgeous niece. And then all she 1094 00:53:00,680 --> 00:53:02,600 Speaker 1: wanted to do was go to Dancing with Stars and 1095 00:53:02,640 --> 00:53:04,640 Speaker 1: Aaron took her and like it was like the night 1096 00:53:04,680 --> 00:53:07,759 Speaker 1: of her life. But just anyway, I just love you 1097 00:53:07,800 --> 00:53:09,560 Speaker 1: and you make an impact on people, and we're here 1098 00:53:09,560 --> 00:53:12,200 Speaker 1: for you. And I hope anyone listening that's going through 1099 00:53:12,239 --> 00:53:15,279 Speaker 1: anything that they're going through knows that support your you know, 1100 00:53:15,280 --> 00:53:18,480 Speaker 1: surround yourself with good people and just know that the 1101 00:53:18,560 --> 00:53:21,600 Speaker 1: game ain't over even if you think it is. And 1102 00:53:21,600 --> 00:53:24,480 Speaker 1: watch the Friends reunion if you feel like crap, make 1103 00:53:24,520 --> 00:53:27,799 Speaker 1: you feel so good. Dr Caroline Leave. Her book is available. 1104 00:53:27,960 --> 00:53:29,759 Speaker 1: I know, Aaron, you just bought it. She also has 1105 00:53:29,760 --> 00:53:31,839 Speaker 1: a podcast, and I'm going to dive more into how 1106 00:53:31,880 --> 00:53:34,319 Speaker 1: I can be a better wife and friends and all 1107 00:53:34,400 --> 00:53:36,960 Speaker 1: the other things. So I love you, love you, love you, 1108 00:53:37,000 --> 00:53:40,640 Speaker 1: love you, Aaron, and love you for everybody listening and watching. 1109 00:53:40,880 --> 00:53:44,120 Speaker 1: Thank you for letting us open up. And Rachel please 1110 00:53:44,200 --> 00:53:47,960 Speaker 1: date come on. We will not calm down on that now. 1111 00:53:48,640 --> 00:53:50,680 Speaker 1: It's the singer of that. What the I'll be there 1112 00:53:50,719 --> 00:53:53,480 Speaker 1: for you. What's the was it the rem brand boom? 1113 00:53:53,600 --> 00:53:59,480 Speaker 1: Did you pull that? Fuck? Fucking Hey? That was sexy? 1114 00:54:00,680 --> 00:54:03,040 Speaker 1: Calm Down with Aaron and Carissa is a production of 1115 00:54:03,120 --> 00:54:05,839 Speaker 1: I Heart Radio. For more podcasts from my heart Radio, 1116 00:54:05,920 --> 00:54:08,840 Speaker 1: visit the I heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever 1117 00:54:08,920 --> 00:54:10,000 Speaker 1: you get your podcast