WEBVTT - “I PISS PEOPLE OFF”

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<v Speaker 1>What's going on?

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<v Speaker 2>Hey, what's up? Man? What's your name?

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<v Speaker 1>My name is Jayden, Jaden.

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<v Speaker 2>What's going on?

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<v Speaker 3>Jaden?

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<v Speaker 2>Have we ever talked before?

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<v Speaker 1>No, I've I just I just started listening to you,

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<v Speaker 1>like a couple.

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<v Speaker 2>Of years ago, sweet man, going on with you? What's

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<v Speaker 2>going on with your life? Uh? A lot, A whole lot.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm I'm just thinking a lot, a lot more than

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<v Speaker 1>I usually am thinking. Mm hm, and like, uh yeah, it's.

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<v Speaker 3>Really weird mm hmm.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, let's get into it. What do you what are

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<v Speaker 2>you thinking about more often than you normally think about?

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<v Speaker 1>Well, I I tried to call you the other day

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<v Speaker 1>last time you streamed because I like, I really wanted

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<v Speaker 1>to and I felt like it, and so then I

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<v Speaker 1>I found your number and I downloaded Twitch and then uh, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm getting what I want right now. It's kind of weird.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, Well, well ship Jayden. Aside aside from the logistics

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<v Speaker 2>of how you arrived here, Uh, what is it you

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<v Speaker 2>wanted to talk about?

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<v Speaker 1>I do you really want to know? Yeah?

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<v Speaker 2>That's you know what I don't Jayden, Jayden. I can't

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<v Speaker 2>do the whole Jaydon, I can't do the whole conversation

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<v Speaker 2>like this, Jayden, I give you permission to talk to me. Jayden, Jayden, Jayden,

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<v Speaker 2>I give you, I give you you sound that's okay,

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<v Speaker 2>it's okay, you're okay, it's okay. I give you full

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<v Speaker 2>permission to, yes, talk to me about whatever it is

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<v Speaker 2>you want to talk about. Yes, I do. I do

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<v Speaker 2>want to know what's going on?

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<v Speaker 3>You want to know?

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<v Speaker 1>Oh God, that feels good. It feels really good. I've

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<v Speaker 1>been been trying to explain things to people for feels

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<v Speaker 1>like my whole life. And uh and yeah, I feel

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<v Speaker 1>like I feel like I kind of I kind of

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<v Speaker 1>know a way to do it. And yeah, it's it's

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<v Speaker 1>so scary.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, here's what we'll do, Jaden. I here's here's what

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<v Speaker 2>I'll Here's here's what I Here's what I promise I

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<v Speaker 2>will attempt for you. Is you, I probably swear my life.

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<v Speaker 2>I promise that I will hear you out as you

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<v Speaker 2>attempt to explain, and I will try my very best

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<v Speaker 2>to meet you wherever you are, so you try your best.

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<v Speaker 2>I'll try my best, and we'll see what happens.

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<v Speaker 1>If if you want to learn, you have to get

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<v Speaker 1>out a piece of paper. I know it sounds kind

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<v Speaker 1>of weird.

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<v Speaker 2>I can't do a piece of paper, but I'll try to.

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<v Speaker 2>I'll try my best to listen.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, you know how we talk to each other, right,

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<v Speaker 1>and like yeah, like the like there's words inside your

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<v Speaker 1>head also, and like you're also saying words too.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>And you know a lot of people, a lot of

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<v Speaker 1>people who think fast. It's kind of hard to explain

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<v Speaker 1>how you're thinking fast, right. I don't know anything, and

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<v Speaker 1>I know that, but I realized in the past few

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<v Speaker 1>weeks that I'm just a lot more autistic than I

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<v Speaker 1>thought I was, and that that's only because I'm actually

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<v Speaker 1>learning English, and it's it. It makes sense to me,

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<v Speaker 1>but it doesn't make sense to other people, and that

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<v Speaker 1>feels kind of weird. M Does that make sense to you?

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<v Speaker 2>Is English not your first language?

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<v Speaker 1>No? English is my first language.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, So because because you're learning, learning English is making

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<v Speaker 2>you realize that you are more autistic than you thought

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<v Speaker 2>you were.

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<v Speaker 1>I feel so much more smart than I felt before

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<v Speaker 1>I knew this, Okay, And I don't know how to

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<v Speaker 1>explain the feeling of knowledge, okay, writing it down the

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<v Speaker 1>way that I just now learned how to do.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, right now, Jane I want your work with me.

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<v Speaker 2>I want your work with me here, because we're gonna

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<v Speaker 2>figure it. I swore, Jane, I swore on my life you're.

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<v Speaker 1>Gonna you're gonna pick up a piece of paper and

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<v Speaker 1>you're gonna try.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, I'm not gonna do a piece of paper. But

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<v Speaker 2>I I swore on my life that I would attempt

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<v Speaker 2>to understand you. And so if I don't at least attempt,

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<v Speaker 2>that means I'm going to explode and die. So but

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<v Speaker 2>I want that like okay, and so, so bear with

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<v Speaker 2>my hair. Just simple answers here. Yeah, what do you

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<v Speaker 2>feel like? You know that you did not know before?

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<v Speaker 1>In one word, it's the word now.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, I'm with you. What do you know about now?

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<v Speaker 1>Then? Word now is spelled.

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<v Speaker 2>N O W.

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<v Speaker 1>And that's how I would spell it old. I'm sorry,

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<v Speaker 1>my dog guys, come on, look at and then sorry, man,

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<v Speaker 1>the roommate just got back. Hey, dec what I say

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<v Speaker 1>I was gonna do? I'm talking to the gecko right now.

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<v Speaker 2>It is Jaden. Stay with me and stay with me.

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<v Speaker 2>You're explaining the word You're explaining the word now. Okay.

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<v Speaker 1>Do you see the word now in your brain?

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<v Speaker 2>Yes?

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<v Speaker 1>Okay? Put a K in front of it. Okay, all right,

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<v Speaker 1>where did you put that K?

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<v Speaker 2>I put it in the front? Oh my god?

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<v Speaker 1>Where is the yeah?

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<v Speaker 2>Oh my god. Yeah, okay, I see it. I see it.

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<v Speaker 2>I see it. Okay, all right. I put it on

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<v Speaker 2>the I put it on the right side of the word.

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<v Speaker 2>But now I'm putting it in front of the word.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>So you thought you were right, but you know what

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<v Speaker 1>front actually means to me?

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<v Speaker 2>Yes?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, we agree right now, okay, And you see that

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<v Speaker 1>in your own brain, I do, right, Yes, that's really weird.

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<v Speaker 1>I know that that. I know that it's really weird

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<v Speaker 1>that I can explain how you imagine things kind of

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<v Speaker 1>and I know that that's true. Okay, And it's really

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<v Speaker 1>weird to explain how I think personally to you because

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not you, right.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, So, Jaden, So I'm gonna I'm gonna, I'm gonna

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<v Speaker 2>steer this conversation now. Okay. So you just did a

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<v Speaker 2>little thought experiment about how we have different perspectives and

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<v Speaker 2>I tended to get into your perspective and I did,

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<v Speaker 2>and we successfully matched each other's perspectives.

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<v Speaker 1>Uh yeah, we found out what word? What? What? What? What? Work?

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<v Speaker 2>What Okay, we found out. Ok yeah, yeah, okay, listen. Okay, So,

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<v Speaker 2>so yeah, that's in the context of this specific thought

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<v Speaker 2>experiment that you did. How does this apply to everyone,

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<v Speaker 2>right to things beyond just this thought experiment? How does

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<v Speaker 2>this apply to your life?

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<v Speaker 1>Okay? Do you actually want to know?

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<v Speaker 2>Yes?

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, you have to get a piece of paper.

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<v Speaker 2>I I don't need a piece of paper. I didn't

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<v Speaker 2>need a piece of paper for the first one. I

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<v Speaker 2>don't need a piece of paper for this.

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<v Speaker 1>You know what, that's true. You're very You're you're you're right.

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<v Speaker 1>I I feel like the differences between me and you

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<v Speaker 1>right now are legitimately and figuratively just the way that

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<v Speaker 1>we write the word are or the way that we

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<v Speaker 1>were or or and or the way that we write

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<v Speaker 1>the word K. Because if you take the K and

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<v Speaker 1>then you take it over the line, it becomes an R.

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<v Speaker 1>And so if you if you take your no, your

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<v Speaker 1>knowledge and take it over the line of what you

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<v Speaker 1>actually know is true, then you are right kind of

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<v Speaker 1>kind of right.

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<v Speaker 2>All right, I'm gonna share that. I'm gonna say this

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<v Speaker 2>conversation in your direction.

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<v Speaker 1>Do you want to know how I figured that out?

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<v Speaker 2>How'd you figure that out.

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<v Speaker 1>I thought about what a pyramid was. Yeah, And then

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<v Speaker 1>I thought about English, and I thought about what a

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<v Speaker 1>period is. Yeah, and I thought about how I viewed

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<v Speaker 1>that in my own brain kind of.

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<v Speaker 3>Because I don't.

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<v Speaker 1>I didn't. I didn't think I knew how to spell

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<v Speaker 1>because I was.

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<v Speaker 2>I thought I was dyslexic.

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<v Speaker 1>But I'm realizing I'm just autistic.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, does that make sense? It doesn't. I can I

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<v Speaker 2>answer you? Can I answer you some questions?

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<v Speaker 1>Yea?

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 1>What's up?

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<v Speaker 2>How old are you, Juden?

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<v Speaker 1>I'm nineteen?

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<v Speaker 2>Okay. What where do you live? Don't give me your

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<v Speaker 2>home address? What state do you live in?

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<v Speaker 1>Uh? South Dakota?

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<v Speaker 2>Okay?

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<v Speaker 1>Kind in the middle of LA.

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<v Speaker 2>All right? Are you in college right now?

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<v Speaker 1>Nope?

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<v Speaker 2>What do you do? Do you work?

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<v Speaker 3>I mean I work in a grocery store okay, pretty nice?

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<v Speaker 2>Okay? And you live with your family?

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<v Speaker 3>Nope?

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<v Speaker 2>You live by yourself with some roommates?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I have. I have one roommate. I used to.

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<v Speaker 1>I lived with my cousin and then his his girlfriend

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<v Speaker 1>and their baby, but they moved out a few weeks ago,

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<v Speaker 1>and then my my my friend moved in, so I

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<v Speaker 1>got a new roommate.

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<v Speaker 3>Now o. Yeah, I have one roommate.

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<v Speaker 2>All right, so you live with a friend. And how

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<v Speaker 2>do you know this? Friends?

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<v Speaker 1>We met like last year.

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<v Speaker 2>Cool?

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<v Speaker 1>You just just showed up in my knife, you know.

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<v Speaker 2>Cool. How are you doing in general.

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<v Speaker 1>Right now? I'm a little hungry, but uh about it,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm doing good, doing really good.

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<v Speaker 3>Mm hmm.

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<v Speaker 2>What thoughts take up your brain most of the day?

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<v Speaker 3>Whatever?

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<v Speaker 1>Thoughts? I want to take over my brain most of

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<v Speaker 1>the day.

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<v Speaker 2>Really, Yeah, you feel you feel like you're you feel

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<v Speaker 2>like you're that in control of your thoughts kind of.

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<v Speaker 1>I know I'm not in control over my thoughts, but

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<v Speaker 1>I know how I how I would write down my thoughts.

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<v Speaker 2>And lately, lately, lately, what thoughts in particular have you

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<v Speaker 2>been wanting to occupy your brain?

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<v Speaker 1>I I wanted to understand English, and so I imagined

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<v Speaker 1>myself as more than just myself. And then I took

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<v Speaker 1>what I knew, which is just a few colors, and

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<v Speaker 1>then what I didn't know, which was the period at

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<v Speaker 1>the end of the words that I didn't know, and

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<v Speaker 1>I made a circle out of them, and then I

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<v Speaker 1>just started writing the started writing letters. M M. But

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<v Speaker 1>I yeah, I've been having fun.

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<v Speaker 3>It's been good.

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<v Speaker 2>I've been reading you sent me a bunch of texts

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<v Speaker 2>and I'm reading some of them books.

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<v Speaker 1>I kind of I kind of like frantically texted you

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<v Speaker 1>yet last time because I was when when I was

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<v Speaker 1>listening to your stream, the other dude, the dude who

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<v Speaker 1>was talking to you last was saying how he like

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<v Speaker 1>kind of figured out language a little bit, and like, well,

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<v Speaker 1>he was saying that I was like writing stuff down,

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<v Speaker 1>like kind of figuring out on my own.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, So when you say, yeah, and in one of

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<v Speaker 2>these texts, you said you fixed English? So what does

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<v Speaker 2>that mean? What do you What do you mean by

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<v Speaker 2>you fixed? What do you mean by you fixed English?

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<v Speaker 2>What was? And tell? And let's do this in parts? Okay,

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<v Speaker 2>first of let's do first First of all, First of all,

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<v Speaker 2>first of all, what was wrong with English? Before you

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<v Speaker 2>came in?

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<v Speaker 1>I didn't understand it me personally? I didn't understand it

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<v Speaker 1>my person like myself, I didn't I didn't understand what

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<v Speaker 1>I was saying to myself. Yeah, but I already knew

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<v Speaker 1>I already like I already knew how to meditate, but

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<v Speaker 1>I didn't know how to explain how I knew how

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<v Speaker 1>to meditate and I really felt crazy because I was

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<v Speaker 1>I've been like, I've been doing really good in life,

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<v Speaker 1>and then I'm trying to help people do good, but

0:12:50.120 --> 0:12:53.000
<v Speaker 1>it's like like I can't I can't explain my own

0:12:53.120 --> 0:12:55.160
<v Speaker 1>or I felt like I couldn't explain my own thoughts,

0:12:55.720 --> 0:12:57.880
<v Speaker 1>and so I'm like just sitting here running in circles,

0:12:57.920 --> 0:13:00.240
<v Speaker 1>like trying to explain to people why they should be good,

0:13:01.080 --> 0:13:03.439
<v Speaker 1>but then like I didn't even understand it myself.

0:13:03.720 --> 0:13:05.280
<v Speaker 2>Wait, give me a minute, Give me a minute, Jaden,

0:13:05.280 --> 0:13:06.960
<v Speaker 2>because we're talking about a bunch of different things now,

0:13:07.000 --> 0:13:09.080
<v Speaker 2>and I want to hone in on this. You are

0:13:09.200 --> 0:13:14.240
<v Speaker 2>trying to explain to people why they should be good.

0:13:15.160 --> 0:13:18.040
<v Speaker 1>No, I am trying to explain to people why they

0:13:18.080 --> 0:13:21.360
<v Speaker 1>should be conscientious.

0:13:20.720 --> 0:13:24.560
<v Speaker 2>Conscious, conscious, Okay, And what does it mean to you?

0:13:24.679 --> 0:13:27.959
<v Speaker 2>And what does it mean to you to be conscientious?

0:13:29.840 --> 0:13:34.439
<v Speaker 1>For me, it means that I understand the thoughts going

0:13:34.520 --> 0:13:40.120
<v Speaker 1>on inside of my head right now, okay, And that's it.

0:13:40.280 --> 0:13:40.880
<v Speaker 1>That's all I know.

0:13:42.160 --> 0:13:45.640
<v Speaker 2>So you're trying to explain to people that they should

0:13:45.679 --> 0:13:48.360
<v Speaker 2>have a better understanding of the thoughts going on inside

0:13:48.360 --> 0:13:49.000
<v Speaker 2>of their own head.

0:13:50.120 --> 0:13:52.720
<v Speaker 1>I don't want anybody to do anything.

0:13:54.080 --> 0:13:54.760
<v Speaker 3>I never said that.

0:13:55.160 --> 0:13:57.440
<v Speaker 2>I never said that. I never said that. I said,

0:13:57.440 --> 0:14:00.240
<v Speaker 2>you're trying to explain to people why you believe if

0:14:00.240 --> 0:14:00.600
<v Speaker 2>they should.

0:14:01.960 --> 0:14:07.199
<v Speaker 1>Yes, I want to explain how I feel like I

0:14:07.240 --> 0:14:11.280
<v Speaker 1>am God. But it's really weird because I don't because

0:14:11.320 --> 0:14:15.200
<v Speaker 1>I know I'm not God, but I feel pretty close

0:14:15.320 --> 0:14:19.920
<v Speaker 1>to what I think for twelve people who made English.

0:14:20.040 --> 0:14:25.760
<v Speaker 1>At the start felt like kind of interesting, interesting, interesting

0:14:25.800 --> 0:14:29.040
<v Speaker 1>because I've been like I felt like I figured out

0:14:29.040 --> 0:14:32.880
<v Speaker 1>what I want and then I started saying what I

0:14:32.920 --> 0:14:37.000
<v Speaker 1>want and me being really autistic, I like, I've been

0:14:37.000 --> 0:14:39.120
<v Speaker 1>getting people kind of mad because now I'm just saying

0:14:39.160 --> 0:14:42.160
<v Speaker 1>everything I want and it's like, like, I'm not trying

0:14:42.160 --> 0:14:44.160
<v Speaker 1>to get anyone mad. I just want what I want.

0:14:44.480 --> 0:14:48.840
<v Speaker 2>Okay, all right, slow down for me for just second, dude. Yeah, yeah,

0:14:48.920 --> 0:14:50.480
<v Speaker 2>because you're bringing up a lot of different things that

0:14:50.480 --> 0:14:52.800
<v Speaker 2>I want to keep track of them. They're interesting things.

0:14:53.920 --> 0:14:56.240
<v Speaker 1>To get a piece of paper I don't need.

0:14:56.320 --> 0:14:58.160
<v Speaker 2>I don't need a I don't need a piece of paper.

0:14:59.560 --> 0:15:00.480
<v Speaker 3>I know, I know.

0:15:02.120 --> 0:15:04.920
<v Speaker 2>Okay, you wait, hold on. You brought up two things.

0:15:05.280 --> 0:15:07.040
<v Speaker 2>One thing you brought up is that you believe that

0:15:07.040 --> 0:15:10.680
<v Speaker 2>you're God, and I can't. I don't believe that do

0:15:10.920 --> 0:15:12.960
<v Speaker 2>you say, do you just say that you believe your God?

0:15:13.560 --> 0:15:17.800
<v Speaker 1>I said, I believe that I know what's going on

0:15:18.000 --> 0:15:22.800
<v Speaker 1>in my head right now. Okay, I don't know.

0:15:22.800 --> 0:15:26.000
<v Speaker 2>God, all right? And then you said that you're pissing

0:15:26.040 --> 0:15:27.920
<v Speaker 2>people off? Why are you? In what way are you

0:15:27.960 --> 0:15:28.800
<v Speaker 2>pissing people off?

0:15:28.840 --> 0:15:28.920
<v Speaker 1>Like?

0:15:28.960 --> 0:15:30.680
<v Speaker 2>What does it look like when you're doing something that

0:15:30.720 --> 0:15:31.600
<v Speaker 2>pisses people off?

0:15:33.280 --> 0:15:36.160
<v Speaker 1>So that right now, when I'm telling you to grab

0:15:36.160 --> 0:15:39.640
<v Speaker 1>a piece of paper, it kind of doesn't feel good

0:15:39.760 --> 0:15:42.200
<v Speaker 1>because I'm telling you to do something that you don't

0:15:42.200 --> 0:15:46.600
<v Speaker 1>want to do right now. Sure, right, And the only

0:15:46.640 --> 0:15:50.840
<v Speaker 1>way I can explain now I'm thinking like that is legitimately,

0:15:51.120 --> 0:15:54.240
<v Speaker 1>if you grab a piece of paper right now, so

0:15:54.280 --> 0:15:55.480
<v Speaker 1>I can't. I can't do anything.

0:15:56.680 --> 0:16:00.960
<v Speaker 2>So you are, you're trying so as you maneuver around

0:16:00.960 --> 0:16:03.640
<v Speaker 2>the universe, you are exerting your will upon the universe.

0:16:04.800 --> 0:16:07.040
<v Speaker 1>I am getting exactly what I want right now, and

0:16:07.040 --> 0:16:09.200
<v Speaker 1>that's why I'm on the phone with you. And it's

0:16:09.280 --> 0:16:11.240
<v Speaker 1>kind of scary because I know a lot of other

0:16:11.280 --> 0:16:13.920
<v Speaker 1>people also get what they want, but then they die,

0:16:14.400 --> 0:16:16.000
<v Speaker 1>and it's like, I don't want to die.

0:16:16.960 --> 0:16:19.680
<v Speaker 2>Okay, other people get what they want and then they die.

0:16:21.280 --> 0:16:21.840
<v Speaker 3>Most of the time.

0:16:22.520 --> 0:16:24.600
<v Speaker 2>Do you believe that they die right after getting what

0:16:24.600 --> 0:16:26.520
<v Speaker 2>they want, or they get what they want and then

0:16:26.560 --> 0:16:27.520
<v Speaker 2>at some point they die.

0:16:28.920 --> 0:16:31.320
<v Speaker 1>I believe that after you feel like you get what

0:16:31.400 --> 0:16:36.640
<v Speaker 1>you want, then you're okay with dying. And yeah. The

0:16:36.680 --> 0:16:39.440
<v Speaker 1>only one for me to prove that to people is

0:16:39.480 --> 0:16:42.160
<v Speaker 1>if someone comes and kills me and then they're like, oh,

0:16:42.240 --> 0:16:43.960
<v Speaker 1>I just I knew him, so I know that he

0:16:44.120 --> 0:16:47.480
<v Speaker 1>was okay dying. Yeah, but nobody else would know that

0:16:47.520 --> 0:16:49.680
<v Speaker 1>I'm okay dying and that they actually knew me.

0:16:50.200 --> 0:16:52.920
<v Speaker 2>Okay, but have you gotten what you want?

0:16:53.680 --> 0:16:55.880
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I'm amazing, I got I got everything. I got

0:16:55.920 --> 0:16:56.400
<v Speaker 1>everything I.

0:16:56.360 --> 0:16:59.520
<v Speaker 2>Want, Okay, And so you're afraid that because you now

0:16:59.520 --> 0:17:01.720
<v Speaker 2>have everything you want, you become okay with dying, and

0:17:01.760 --> 0:17:03.680
<v Speaker 2>then that kind of puts out into the universe that

0:17:03.960 --> 0:17:06.480
<v Speaker 2>it makes you die.

0:17:06.359 --> 0:17:10.200
<v Speaker 1>Kind of because I mean, I it's the words should

0:17:10.320 --> 0:17:15.080
<v Speaker 1>and shouldn't, the nt and shouldn't. I don't think it

0:17:15.119 --> 0:17:16.919
<v Speaker 1>should be that if you don't want to put.

0:17:16.800 --> 0:17:19.160
<v Speaker 2>It there, right, Yeah, that's true.

0:17:19.480 --> 0:17:22.240
<v Speaker 1>And so when I'm talking to people, I don't want

0:17:22.240 --> 0:17:27.640
<v Speaker 1>to put it there, and I'm learning how to how

0:17:27.680 --> 0:17:30.280
<v Speaker 1>to tell people what I want from them. In the

0:17:30.359 --> 0:17:36.760
<v Speaker 1>moment without crossing the line of you know the language.

0:17:36.800 --> 0:17:38.520
<v Speaker 2>What do you want from me right now?

0:17:39.600 --> 0:17:40.560
<v Speaker 1>I just wanted to talk to you.

0:17:41.000 --> 0:17:43.000
<v Speaker 2>Okay, good?

0:17:42.760 --> 0:17:44.280
<v Speaker 1>What do you want to talk about?

0:17:45.640 --> 0:17:48.399
<v Speaker 2>We're having a fly. We're talking about like five different

0:17:48.400 --> 0:17:50.400
<v Speaker 2>things at once. I don't think we can add anything else.

0:17:51.760 --> 0:17:53.879
<v Speaker 1>Well, I mean no, I'm just asking you what you want.

0:17:54.119 --> 0:17:56.199
<v Speaker 1>Do you want to figure out what I'm figuring it out?

0:17:56.280 --> 0:17:57.119
<v Speaker 1>Or do you want to talk?

0:17:58.200 --> 0:18:01.520
<v Speaker 2>I think both of those. I think figuring out what

0:18:01.640 --> 0:18:04.080
<v Speaker 2>you are trying to figure out is us talking?

0:18:04.920 --> 0:18:06.880
<v Speaker 1>So right? Kind of right?

0:18:07.240 --> 0:18:07.920
<v Speaker 2>Okay, So.

0:18:09.440 --> 0:18:13.240
<v Speaker 1>Are you Are you confused because you think I'm not

0:18:13.240 --> 0:18:14.040
<v Speaker 1>getting what I want?

0:18:14.280 --> 0:18:18.040
<v Speaker 2>No, I'm not. No, I'm not confused at all. Yeah,

0:18:18.480 --> 0:18:31.879
<v Speaker 2>I'm we're trying to understand. Do you feel like you're

0:18:32.200 --> 0:18:37.800
<v Speaker 2>constantly asking people for things and that's pissing them off?

0:18:39.080 --> 0:18:45.240
<v Speaker 1>So first I felt that way because I like my

0:18:45.359 --> 0:18:49.600
<v Speaker 1>last month, I like I figured out that the the

0:18:49.640 --> 0:18:54.520
<v Speaker 1>words I'm using like exactly how people are seeing me, and.

0:18:54.520 --> 0:19:01.080
<v Speaker 2>So yes, that's true. Yeah, yeah, it's.

0:19:00.960 --> 0:19:02.920
<v Speaker 1>The balance of the words I'm using and then how

0:19:02.960 --> 0:19:07.160
<v Speaker 1>I'm using that might of course, and I have never

0:19:07.200 --> 0:19:12.240
<v Speaker 1>been able to explain that to anybody, because I feel

0:19:12.320 --> 0:19:15.200
<v Speaker 1>like my brain moves a little bit faster than most

0:19:15.240 --> 0:19:19.200
<v Speaker 1>people and I don't want that to make anybody else

0:19:19.280 --> 0:19:22.920
<v Speaker 1>feel like being slower is bad.

0:19:26.880 --> 0:19:32.600
<v Speaker 2>That actually does make sense. Let me give you an example.

0:19:33.359 --> 0:19:35.040
<v Speaker 2>Let me give you an example of something.

0:19:35.080 --> 0:19:36.840
<v Speaker 1>Can you give me a word? Can you give me

0:19:36.880 --> 0:19:38.480
<v Speaker 1>a word? And then I'll try and break it down

0:19:38.480 --> 0:19:39.760
<v Speaker 1>how I think I should break it down.

0:19:40.640 --> 0:19:44.439
<v Speaker 2>I think I can't. I can't give you a word

0:19:44.480 --> 0:19:47.480
<v Speaker 2>because the way that I'm okay, let me, I think

0:19:47.520 --> 0:19:49.840
<v Speaker 2>I kind of I'm trying to understand a little bit

0:19:49.840 --> 0:19:52.560
<v Speaker 2>about what your problem is. And I think I understand

0:19:52.560 --> 0:19:55.720
<v Speaker 2>a little bit of it, and I'm gonna I'm gonna, well,

0:19:56.040 --> 0:19:59.320
<v Speaker 2>can I ask you if you can let let me

0:19:59.520 --> 0:20:02.720
<v Speaker 2>throw something Matt you first and see how you react. Okay,

0:20:03.040 --> 0:20:07.639
<v Speaker 2>Is that cool with that? Yeah? Okay, all right. So

0:20:08.240 --> 0:20:12.280
<v Speaker 2>this whole thing of like my brain works faster than

0:20:12.280 --> 0:20:16.320
<v Speaker 2>other people's and so I kind of know what I

0:20:16.600 --> 0:20:18.760
<v Speaker 2>want and I say it and it pisses people off.

0:20:19.280 --> 0:20:22.040
<v Speaker 2>So I've been a round. I think I've been around

0:20:22.119 --> 0:20:27.280
<v Speaker 2>other people who are like that, and I and I

0:20:27.560 --> 0:20:31.640
<v Speaker 2>and I understand the problem is is that I think

0:20:32.000 --> 0:20:35.280
<v Speaker 2>naturally it sounds to me, like the way your brain

0:20:35.560 --> 0:20:39.199
<v Speaker 2>works and the way and I'm just making I'm just

0:20:39.240 --> 0:20:40.840
<v Speaker 2>throwing this out there. You tell me if it resonates

0:20:40.880 --> 0:20:44.760
<v Speaker 2>with you. The way your brain works is like you

0:20:44.760 --> 0:20:48.480
<v Speaker 2>have a strong sense of self and you're in your brain,

0:20:48.680 --> 0:20:50.520
<v Speaker 2>and you because and because you're in your brain, because

0:20:50.520 --> 0:20:54.640
<v Speaker 2>you have a way in which the world like configurates

0:20:54.680 --> 0:20:57.159
<v Speaker 2>itself and kind of fits together like a puzzle piece,

0:20:57.640 --> 0:21:01.359
<v Speaker 2>and you just maneuver as if it should fit that way.

0:21:01.840 --> 0:21:04.520
<v Speaker 2>But you have a you have and and that makes

0:21:04.640 --> 0:21:06.960
<v Speaker 2>perfect sense to you. Why would it not make perfect

0:21:07.040 --> 0:21:11.080
<v Speaker 2>sense to you? You're solving the puzzle, of course, but

0:21:11.119 --> 0:21:15.200
<v Speaker 2>you have a major problem. What's your name again, Jaden, Jadeen?

0:21:15.240 --> 0:21:18.640
<v Speaker 2>You have a major problem. You have a major, major problem.

0:21:19.040 --> 0:21:21.879
<v Speaker 2>And this is the problem for you to think about. Here, Okay,

0:21:21.960 --> 0:21:23.919
<v Speaker 2>are you ready listening? Here's what I think The problem is.

0:21:24.920 --> 0:21:27.120
<v Speaker 1>What do you think? What do you think? My problem is.

0:21:28.640 --> 0:21:32.720
<v Speaker 2>You're operating is if there is one single puzzle to

0:21:32.800 --> 0:21:35.399
<v Speaker 2>be solved of the universe, that is your brain, and

0:21:35.440 --> 0:21:37.800
<v Speaker 2>you're solving the puzzle, and so you're like, oh, of

0:21:37.880 --> 0:21:39.840
<v Speaker 2>course this, and of course that and and and the

0:21:39.840 --> 0:21:42.000
<v Speaker 2>reason why it's pissing people off is because you don't

0:21:42.080 --> 0:21:48.000
<v Speaker 2>understand there's more than one puzzle. There's everyone else's puzzle

0:21:48.200 --> 0:21:52.439
<v Speaker 2>and everyone else's context. And if you're acting in a

0:21:52.480 --> 0:21:57.440
<v Speaker 2>way that neglects everyone else's context and everyone else's puzzle,

0:21:57.880 --> 0:22:03.400
<v Speaker 2>and you're just focused on your own puzzle, then your you, Yeah,

0:22:03.480 --> 0:22:05.600
<v Speaker 2>you kind of pissed people off and you can't really

0:22:06.160 --> 0:22:09.840
<v Speaker 2>interact with the world. And maybe that is I don't

0:22:09.880 --> 0:22:12.440
<v Speaker 2>know anything about autism, but maybe that is autism. Doing

0:22:12.480 --> 0:22:14.760
<v Speaker 2>that is making you have to focus on your own puzzle.

0:22:15.000 --> 0:22:17.040
<v Speaker 2>But like if you put but like as a smart

0:22:17.080 --> 0:22:19.400
<v Speaker 2>guy and even as part of your puzzle, you could

0:22:19.480 --> 0:22:22.800
<v Speaker 2>kind of try to fit in with other people's contexts,

0:22:23.080 --> 0:22:25.040
<v Speaker 2>you know what. You know what I mean? Can I

0:22:25.040 --> 0:22:26.399
<v Speaker 2>give you like, let me get like, I'll give you

0:22:26.400 --> 0:22:30.879
<v Speaker 2>an example. I was with someone on a trip once

0:22:31.760 --> 0:22:38.320
<v Speaker 2>and I would like, we were going to customs and uh,

0:22:38.359 --> 0:22:40.280
<v Speaker 2>they they walk in front of me and they give

0:22:40.320 --> 0:22:44.159
<v Speaker 2>the customs guy their passport and then they say to me, Okay,

0:22:44.160 --> 0:22:46.880
<v Speaker 2>now you give him your passport. And in my head,

0:22:46.920 --> 0:22:52.400
<v Speaker 2>I was pissed off because I was like, dude, I know, well,

0:22:52.520 --> 0:22:54.840
<v Speaker 2>I was pissed off because I was like, dude, I

0:22:55.000 --> 0:22:57.800
<v Speaker 2>like I know, to give the guy my fucking passport,

0:22:57.960 --> 0:23:00.840
<v Speaker 2>like I know, And it felt like it was pretentious.

0:23:00.840 --> 0:23:02.040
<v Speaker 2>It felt like he was telling me what to do.

0:23:02.119 --> 0:23:04.199
<v Speaker 2>It pissed me off. But I'm but here's the thing,

0:23:04.240 --> 0:23:07.679
<v Speaker 2>and I'm realizing this talking to you. In his head,

0:23:08.640 --> 0:23:12.160
<v Speaker 2>he's not thinking about that. He's going, oh, we need

0:23:12.200 --> 0:23:14.040
<v Speaker 2>to give this guy our passport. Let me give him

0:23:14.040 --> 0:23:16.440
<v Speaker 2>my passport. Hey, you also need to give him your passport,

0:23:16.480 --> 0:23:18.359
<v Speaker 2>So let me tell you to give him your passport.

0:23:18.600 --> 0:23:20.840
<v Speaker 2>And that pisses me off. But of course he's thinking

0:23:20.880 --> 0:23:22.720
<v Speaker 2>the way that you're thinking, because he's just looking at

0:23:22.760 --> 0:23:25.840
<v Speaker 2>the world through a very logical point of view, and

0:23:25.880 --> 0:23:28.639
<v Speaker 2>he's not thinking about the context behind it. You know,

0:23:28.720 --> 0:23:31.159
<v Speaker 2>he's going A to B and it's fucking frustrating. I

0:23:31.240 --> 0:23:33.359
<v Speaker 2>understand why it's fucking frustrating is when you're going A

0:23:33.440 --> 0:23:35.560
<v Speaker 2>to B and someone else is like, hey, that's pissing

0:23:35.600 --> 0:23:38.320
<v Speaker 2>people off. You go, wait, why is this pissing people off?

0:23:38.320 --> 0:23:39.359
<v Speaker 2>This makes perfect sense to me.

0:23:41.560 --> 0:23:44.440
<v Speaker 1>Do you do you want me to explain kind of

0:23:44.480 --> 0:23:45.560
<v Speaker 1>how I'm thinking about it?

0:23:46.119 --> 0:23:48.000
<v Speaker 2>Do you understand does any of what I said to

0:23:48.040 --> 0:23:48.560
<v Speaker 2>you resonate?

0:23:49.840 --> 0:23:53.960
<v Speaker 1>Yeah? I completely one. No, I don't know you, but

0:23:54.160 --> 0:23:56.200
<v Speaker 1>I ninety percent agree with you.

0:23:56.480 --> 0:24:01.960
<v Speaker 2>Okay, go ahead, you I okay.

0:24:03.160 --> 0:24:05.919
<v Speaker 1>I don't know how to explain my thoughts, but I

0:24:06.000 --> 0:24:09.280
<v Speaker 1>know how to explain how I personally break apart the

0:24:09.280 --> 0:24:12.320
<v Speaker 1>words that I see when someone says something to me,

0:24:13.119 --> 0:24:20.840
<v Speaker 1>or like when I read something. But because I've had

0:24:20.880 --> 0:24:25.880
<v Speaker 1>like it's just it's yeah, it's kind of weird, it's

0:24:25.880 --> 0:24:30.720
<v Speaker 1>really weird. I my whole life, I've felt like I've

0:24:30.720 --> 0:24:34.280
<v Speaker 1>wanted to understand my thoughts to the best of my abilities.

0:24:35.119 --> 0:24:37.800
<v Speaker 1>And I've always liked drawn. I've always liked to draw.

0:24:37.880 --> 0:24:40.600
<v Speaker 1>I've always liked to, you know, kind of like I've

0:24:40.600 --> 0:24:42.800
<v Speaker 1>always like kind of liked to read, Like I like

0:24:42.840 --> 0:24:46.320
<v Speaker 1>comic books. I kind of you know, I just I

0:24:46.400 --> 0:24:49.119
<v Speaker 1>just like some stuff. And the only way I figured

0:24:49.119 --> 0:24:52.439
<v Speaker 1>out what I actually need right now is from the

0:24:52.480 --> 0:24:56.320
<v Speaker 1>process of like the process of elimination that goes on

0:24:56.400 --> 0:24:59.639
<v Speaker 1>in my brain with the words that I say in

0:24:59.720 --> 0:25:02.200
<v Speaker 1>my Does that make sense.

0:25:02.840 --> 0:25:03.320
<v Speaker 2>A little bit?

0:25:03.400 --> 0:25:11.720
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, a little bit kind of Yeah, I know that

0:25:11.840 --> 0:25:16.960
<v Speaker 1>I can make sense to you right now. But but

0:25:17.040 --> 0:25:19.240
<v Speaker 1>there's a but. But there's a big B, there's a

0:25:19.240 --> 0:25:23.560
<v Speaker 1>big butt, right, yeah, So so what the fuck is

0:25:23.560 --> 0:25:31.960
<v Speaker 1>the beat in English? What word does the letter B

0:25:33.160 --> 0:25:33.960
<v Speaker 1>actually mean?

0:25:36.359 --> 0:25:37.359
<v Speaker 3>Mm?

0:25:37.400 --> 0:25:40.200
<v Speaker 2>I don't know, but I mean I interpret it. I'm

0:25:40.240 --> 0:25:44.080
<v Speaker 2>interpreting it to the butt meaning like this is like, dude,

0:25:44.080 --> 0:25:45.520
<v Speaker 2>when I was a kid, When I was a kid,

0:25:45.560 --> 0:25:47.360
<v Speaker 2>I used to like, I used to try to look

0:25:47.400 --> 0:25:50.680
<v Speaker 2>for like the dictionary definition of the you know what

0:25:50.720 --> 0:25:53.399
<v Speaker 2>I mean? You know what I mean? Like to be like, well,

0:25:53.400 --> 0:25:55.280
<v Speaker 2>how do they how do you define the word.

0:25:55.160 --> 0:26:01.800
<v Speaker 1>The I think I figured that out. Yeah, seriously, I'm

0:26:01.840 --> 0:26:02.399
<v Speaker 1>not joking.

0:26:04.680 --> 0:26:06.439
<v Speaker 2>Do you figure out? How do you? Okay? All right?

0:26:06.480 --> 0:26:08.320
<v Speaker 2>How do you define the jayden?

0:26:08.960 --> 0:26:10.400
<v Speaker 1>I can't tell you.

0:26:11.640 --> 0:26:14.080
<v Speaker 2>If you can't tell me, then you If you can't

0:26:14.080 --> 0:26:16.280
<v Speaker 2>tell me, then you can't fucking do it.

0:26:16.359 --> 0:26:18.560
<v Speaker 1>Then I can't be right. I can't. I can't be

0:26:18.680 --> 0:26:22.320
<v Speaker 1>right right now, right because I can't tell you it

0:26:23.359 --> 0:26:24.000
<v Speaker 1>right now right.

0:26:24.760 --> 0:26:25.560
<v Speaker 2>I feel kind of.

0:26:25.520 --> 0:26:27.280
<v Speaker 1>Bad because I can't tell you it right now.

0:26:27.520 --> 0:26:28.880
<v Speaker 2>You don't have to feel this is you have nothing

0:26:28.880 --> 0:26:29.479
<v Speaker 2>to feel bad for.

0:26:29.640 --> 0:26:30.919
<v Speaker 1>But is that wrong?

0:26:31.160 --> 0:26:31.640
<v Speaker 3>Is that wrong?

0:26:31.840 --> 0:26:32.880
<v Speaker 1>I feel bad right now?

0:26:34.760 --> 0:26:36.960
<v Speaker 3>In your opinion? In your own opinion, Yeah.

0:26:37.440 --> 0:26:39.720
<v Speaker 2>Yes, in my own opinion. Yeah, not like it's not

0:26:39.800 --> 0:26:42.960
<v Speaker 2>more it's not morally wrong. Yeah, I don't think I

0:26:42.960 --> 0:26:45.080
<v Speaker 2>don't think. I don't think this is it's not morally wrong.

0:26:45.320 --> 0:26:49.480
<v Speaker 2>I just don't think the situation currently warrants you feeling bad.

0:26:50.600 --> 0:26:57.200
<v Speaker 1>I agree with you, Okay, great, And I totally understand

0:26:57.200 --> 0:27:00.119
<v Speaker 1>how I wrote the letter B in my brain and

0:27:02.400 --> 0:27:06.600
<v Speaker 1>how I wrote the letter E and then the letter A.

0:27:07.800 --> 0:27:12.120
<v Speaker 1>Because if if I understand how I write the letter

0:27:12.200 --> 0:27:16.520
<v Speaker 1>B and then the letter A at the same time

0:27:16.680 --> 0:27:21.760
<v Speaker 1>as I understand why I'm writing it that way, then

0:27:22.119 --> 0:27:25.320
<v Speaker 1>I don't have to think about the words that I'm

0:27:25.400 --> 0:27:27.040
<v Speaker 1>saying in my brain as much.

0:27:27.520 --> 0:27:32.879
<v Speaker 2>Jaden, before we go, unless if this brings up a

0:27:32.880 --> 0:27:35.040
<v Speaker 2>whole other thing, I'm gonna I want to I just

0:27:35.040 --> 0:27:37.120
<v Speaker 2>want to ask you something. And there's no real right

0:27:37.160 --> 0:27:40.960
<v Speaker 2>answer to this question, but I'm I'm just genuinely curious.

0:27:43.080 --> 0:27:46.840
<v Speaker 2>Do you desire and it's okay whatever the answer, it's okay.

0:27:47.040 --> 0:27:52.840
<v Speaker 2>Do you desire to piss people off? Less?

0:27:54.200 --> 0:27:54.440
<v Speaker 3>Yes?

0:27:55.520 --> 0:28:00.359
<v Speaker 1>Okay one percent. I don't want to make people mad, Okay.

0:28:01.680 --> 0:28:05.720
<v Speaker 1>I want you to understand the words that I'm saying

0:28:05.800 --> 0:28:10.000
<v Speaker 1>right now. But for that to happen, you have to

0:28:10.040 --> 0:28:13.480
<v Speaker 1>write something in your brain for me to say something

0:28:13.480 --> 0:28:17.040
<v Speaker 1>to you, for you to understand it the way I'm

0:28:17.119 --> 0:28:17.640
<v Speaker 1>saying it.

0:28:18.920 --> 0:28:19.720
<v Speaker 3>Does that make sense?

0:28:20.160 --> 0:28:24.000
<v Speaker 2>It, yes, a little bit. But what I'm little But

0:28:24.080 --> 0:28:27.919
<v Speaker 2>what I'm trying to get across is that like, Okay,

0:28:27.960 --> 0:28:30.200
<v Speaker 2>here's the thing is you don't want to and this

0:28:30.280 --> 0:28:32.480
<v Speaker 2>is the and and by the way, actually this word

0:28:32.480 --> 0:28:35.040
<v Speaker 2>and I've talked about this before and this goes into

0:28:35.080 --> 0:28:37.680
<v Speaker 2>what you were A whole thing about conscientiousness is there's

0:28:37.680 --> 0:28:40.040
<v Speaker 2>a certain level of conscientiousness because you don't want to

0:28:40.080 --> 0:28:42.280
<v Speaker 2>be too worried about pissing people off. Because if you're

0:28:42.280 --> 0:28:45.200
<v Speaker 2>like too worried about yeah, because if you're too worried

0:28:45.200 --> 0:28:47.680
<v Speaker 2>about pissing people off, then you never do anything because

0:28:48.240 --> 0:28:50.560
<v Speaker 2>as you exist as a person and do stuff, you

0:28:50.600 --> 0:28:52.800
<v Speaker 2>just naturally pissed people off. And you also you can't

0:28:52.800 --> 0:28:57.400
<v Speaker 2>really control whether or not you piss people off kind of,

0:28:57.960 --> 0:29:00.480
<v Speaker 2>but like if you want to piss people off less,

0:29:00.520 --> 0:29:04.680
<v Speaker 2>like I think you can make active efforts, you know,

0:29:05.080 --> 0:29:06.920
<v Speaker 2>like I'm hopefully trying to do with you right now,

0:29:06.960 --> 0:29:08.320
<v Speaker 2>Like when I'm talking to you, I'm like trying to

0:29:08.320 --> 0:29:10.239
<v Speaker 2>think about like what's going on in your brain and

0:29:10.240 --> 0:29:13.080
<v Speaker 2>how you're processing this information and whatnot. So like as

0:29:13.080 --> 0:29:16.000
<v Speaker 2>you go out into the world, you know, if you

0:29:16.040 --> 0:29:17.600
<v Speaker 2>want to try to piss people off less you can

0:29:17.600 --> 0:29:19.400
<v Speaker 2>try to think, like, well, what's going on in their brain?

0:29:19.440 --> 0:29:22.240
<v Speaker 2>How are they processing this information? And let me not

0:29:22.520 --> 0:29:25.640
<v Speaker 2>use that information as a way of like diluting myself.

0:29:26.400 --> 0:29:29.000
<v Speaker 1>But maybe like I'm a training to you right now?

0:29:29.280 --> 0:29:32.200
<v Speaker 1>Oh shit, really that's what I'm yeah, right now.

0:29:32.080 --> 0:29:32.840
<v Speaker 3>Okay, this moment?

0:29:33.120 --> 0:29:33.480
<v Speaker 2>All right?

0:29:33.920 --> 0:29:39.000
<v Speaker 1>Do you actually want to understand what I understand right now?

0:29:39.880 --> 0:29:42.760
<v Speaker 1>And I'm using the word like very kind of loosely

0:29:42.920 --> 0:29:49.720
<v Speaker 1>and very literally at the same time, do you actually

0:29:49.760 --> 0:29:51.960
<v Speaker 1>want to know what I know right now?

0:29:52.400 --> 0:29:55.960
<v Speaker 2>I feel intimidated now because you're kind of scared, right,

0:29:57.160 --> 0:30:01.600
<v Speaker 2>I'm not I don't know what happens after yeah, yes, yes, yes.

0:30:01.400 --> 0:30:04.840
<v Speaker 1>You're kind of scared kind yes, right, okay, yeah, okay.

0:30:05.240 --> 0:30:07.160
<v Speaker 1>Do you want me to explain how I break apart?

0:30:07.200 --> 0:30:12.240
<v Speaker 1>The word kind of a little bit in my own brain.

0:30:12.360 --> 0:30:14.320
<v Speaker 1>Do you want me to explain how I break it apart?

0:30:19.120 --> 0:30:20.840
<v Speaker 2>I'll hear it, and then it might it might be

0:30:20.880 --> 0:30:24.520
<v Speaker 2>the last part of this conversation, but yes, let's hear it,

0:30:25.680 --> 0:30:26.080
<v Speaker 2>all right.

0:30:27.040 --> 0:30:32.800
<v Speaker 1>I really really really want to be kind in my life,

0:30:34.520 --> 0:30:40.280
<v Speaker 1>for like my whole life. I know for a fact

0:30:40.440 --> 0:30:42.240
<v Speaker 1>that I don't know how long my life is going

0:30:42.320 --> 0:30:47.120
<v Speaker 1>to be. Yes, but if I tell you what I

0:30:47.200 --> 0:30:51.240
<v Speaker 1>know is a fact, then that's a gift I can

0:30:51.280 --> 0:30:51.920
<v Speaker 1>give to you.

0:30:52.400 --> 0:30:56.640
<v Speaker 2>That's true. Yeah, that feels good, right, Yeah, I agree

0:30:56.680 --> 0:31:00.160
<v Speaker 2>the way I said it. Yeah, it does, do you.

0:31:00.280 --> 0:31:02.880
<v Speaker 1>Yeah. So I've been trying to figure out how to

0:31:02.920 --> 0:31:05.640
<v Speaker 1>actually talk nice for like my whole life, because I've

0:31:05.680 --> 0:31:09.840
<v Speaker 1>felt like a kind person my whole life, and I've

0:31:09.880 --> 0:31:13.640
<v Speaker 1>been trying to figure out how to like help other

0:31:13.680 --> 0:31:16.880
<v Speaker 1>people be kind people. And right now I feel like

0:31:17.080 --> 0:31:20.400
<v Speaker 1>I actually can help most people be kind people.

0:31:22.600 --> 0:31:29.280
<v Speaker 2>In the sense that, yeah.

0:31:27.000 --> 0:31:29.760
<v Speaker 1>In the sense that they can understand their thoughts the

0:31:29.840 --> 0:31:33.560
<v Speaker 1>same way that I feel like I can understand my thoughts.

0:31:34.120 --> 0:31:37.560
<v Speaker 2>Yes, you know, you have no idea how long your

0:31:37.600 --> 0:31:39.840
<v Speaker 2>life is going to be. So in what ways on

0:31:39.840 --> 0:31:41.680
<v Speaker 2>your day to day life can you help other people

0:31:41.760 --> 0:31:45.160
<v Speaker 2>be kinder people? And I mean by here's like, by

0:31:45.280 --> 0:31:48.520
<v Speaker 2>just talking to folks in a way you help them

0:31:48.640 --> 0:31:52.360
<v Speaker 2>understand their thoughts.

0:31:53.800 --> 0:31:55.479
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I mean I do.

0:31:55.480 --> 0:31:58.440
<v Speaker 1>Do you want to know what I did? Yeah?

0:31:58.440 --> 0:31:58.920
<v Speaker 2>What'd you do?

0:32:00.480 --> 0:32:04.959
<v Speaker 1>I felt like, all right, let me let me give

0:32:05.000 --> 0:32:06.200
<v Speaker 1>you some some backstory.

0:32:06.560 --> 0:32:07.120
<v Speaker 3>Okay, So.

0:32:08.720 --> 0:32:12.440
<v Speaker 1>I I have this girlfriend and we've been together for

0:32:12.480 --> 0:32:18.920
<v Speaker 1>like five almost six months, and yeah it's gone. I mean, yeah,

0:32:18.920 --> 0:32:22.440
<v Speaker 1>we're we're doing good right now. But we decided to

0:32:23.320 --> 0:32:26.400
<v Speaker 1>Like she I just I wanted to help her get

0:32:26.400 --> 0:32:29.400
<v Speaker 1>what she wants out of life. And I've never felt

0:32:29.440 --> 0:32:33.560
<v Speaker 1>like I can explain that, but I've already I've always

0:32:33.600 --> 0:32:35.680
<v Speaker 1>known that I wanted to help people with my life.

0:32:38.120 --> 0:32:39.080
<v Speaker 1>What do you do?

0:32:39.480 --> 0:32:41.200
<v Speaker 2>You know what your girlfriend wants out of life?

0:32:42.600 --> 0:32:44.240
<v Speaker 1>No, and I don't know that. And I know that

0:32:44.280 --> 0:32:46.840
<v Speaker 1>I can't know that, and so that's why I learned

0:32:46.880 --> 0:32:49.320
<v Speaker 1>the word trust in my own way.

0:32:49.560 --> 0:32:51.480
<v Speaker 2>Wait, Jaden, you're making a bunch of statements here that

0:32:51.640 --> 0:32:53.040
<v Speaker 2>I wait, hold on.

0:32:53.680 --> 0:32:57.800
<v Speaker 1>Sorry, sorry, yeah, Orry, I.

0:32:57.120 --> 0:32:59.440
<v Speaker 2>Just let let me slow down for a say why first,

0:32:59.640 --> 0:33:01.760
<v Speaker 2>why can't you know that?

0:33:03.720 --> 0:33:05.560
<v Speaker 1>Because I'm not God?

0:33:06.600 --> 0:33:11.640
<v Speaker 2>Right? Okay? Are you saying that?

0:33:12.560 --> 0:33:12.640
<v Speaker 1>Like?

0:33:13.000 --> 0:33:17.200
<v Speaker 2>Oh wait, oh fuck, Jaane? You actually make Wait, Jaanen,

0:33:17.200 --> 0:33:20.880
<v Speaker 2>you're making perfect You're making perfect sense because you can

0:33:21.000 --> 0:33:25.440
<v Speaker 2>the reason you because you because the word trust, right, Okay,

0:33:25.760 --> 0:33:30.200
<v Speaker 2>because you can only you can All you can really do, Jayden,

0:33:31.040 --> 0:33:34.200
<v Speaker 2>All you can really do is you can trust that

0:33:34.320 --> 0:33:39.480
<v Speaker 2>whatever she's telling you is what she wants out of life,

0:33:40.920 --> 0:33:42.760
<v Speaker 2>is what she wants, so all you can really do

0:33:42.840 --> 0:33:45.960
<v Speaker 2>is trust the information she's giving you, but you can't

0:33:46.000 --> 0:33:49.080
<v Speaker 2>actually know because you are not God and cannot exist

0:33:49.080 --> 0:33:52.200
<v Speaker 2>in her brain. M hm did I figure it out?

0:33:53.360 --> 0:33:55.120
<v Speaker 1>Yeah? You figured it out. You figured it out exactly.

0:33:56.280 --> 0:33:59.120
<v Speaker 2>You're like a riddle, Jayden, You're like a fucking riddle.

0:34:00.960 --> 0:34:02.760
<v Speaker 1>Do you like riddles? Uh?

0:34:03.560 --> 0:34:05.640
<v Speaker 2>What were you saying?

0:34:05.680 --> 0:34:06.640
<v Speaker 1>What the fuck was I saying?

0:34:06.720 --> 0:34:06.920
<v Speaker 5>What?

0:34:06.920 --> 0:34:07.080
<v Speaker 3>What?

0:34:07.120 --> 0:34:07.360
<v Speaker 2>Okay?

0:34:07.400 --> 0:34:09.200
<v Speaker 1>Yeah? What the fuck was I think I lost track?

0:34:09.320 --> 0:34:11.040
<v Speaker 2>You were talking? Okay, you were talking about your girlfriend.

0:34:11.120 --> 0:34:12.600
<v Speaker 2>You can help You want to help her get uh?

0:34:13.680 --> 0:34:18.359
<v Speaker 1>Uh you want to help her? Yeah, okay, I I

0:34:18.480 --> 0:34:22.800
<v Speaker 1>want her to get exactly what she wants out of life,

0:34:23.440 --> 0:34:26.799
<v Speaker 1>out of her life. Yes, And I I felt like

0:34:26.880 --> 0:34:33.520
<v Speaker 1>I never could actually write that down, But right now,

0:34:34.560 --> 0:34:38.239
<v Speaker 1>I I like, like, I'm I'm talking to you, and

0:34:38.239 --> 0:34:40.120
<v Speaker 1>it it feels really nice to talk to you, and

0:34:41.000 --> 0:34:43.400
<v Speaker 1>it feels good to just fucking paste around my house.

0:34:45.760 --> 0:34:50.000
<v Speaker 1>Like I don't know, I've never I've never felt so

0:34:50.200 --> 0:34:54.640
<v Speaker 1>crazy and so saying at the same exact time. And

0:34:54.680 --> 0:34:57.239
<v Speaker 1>the way I feel like that is because I underlined

0:34:57.320 --> 0:35:00.600
<v Speaker 1>the word crazy and then I wrote the words saying

0:35:00.960 --> 0:35:05.080
<v Speaker 1>underneath it, and I took the you know, that's I

0:35:05.120 --> 0:35:06.520
<v Speaker 1>took the equals sign and that's me.

0:35:08.080 --> 0:35:09.800
<v Speaker 2>How did you meet your girlfriend?

0:35:10.960 --> 0:35:15.480
<v Speaker 1>We so I've known her for like three years, but

0:35:15.960 --> 0:35:19.080
<v Speaker 1>she used to like, we weren't together when I met her,

0:35:19.280 --> 0:35:21.759
<v Speaker 1>but yeah, like five months ago.

0:35:22.239 --> 0:35:25.600
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I would assume you weren't together when you guys met.

0:35:25.640 --> 0:35:31.480
<v Speaker 1>Sorry, go ahead, Well, no, she like she dated she

0:35:31.600 --> 0:35:35.400
<v Speaker 1>dated my friend for like a few like it was

0:35:35.400 --> 0:35:38.160
<v Speaker 1>like a few weeks or whatever or no, no, it

0:35:38.480 --> 0:35:44.439
<v Speaker 1>was it was like a couple of months. But I, uh, yeah,

0:35:44.440 --> 0:35:46.239
<v Speaker 1>I just like I just wanted her to get what

0:35:46.320 --> 0:35:49.200
<v Speaker 1>she wants out of life, and I always wanted what

0:35:49.239 --> 0:35:52.239
<v Speaker 1>I want out of life. And I feel like I

0:35:52.239 --> 0:35:56.480
<v Speaker 1>can help most people explain what they want out of

0:35:56.520 --> 0:35:58.520
<v Speaker 1>life if I teach them how to write it down.

0:35:58.920 --> 0:35:59.239
<v Speaker 2>Mm hm.

0:36:00.080 --> 0:36:03.520
<v Speaker 1>But the fact that I know that I can help

0:36:03.560 --> 0:36:05.759
<v Speaker 1>most people if I teach them how to write it

0:36:05.800 --> 0:36:10.440
<v Speaker 1>down feels pretty wrong because I don't want to be right, Like,

0:36:10.440 --> 0:36:12.360
<v Speaker 1>I don't want to write things down correctly.

0:36:14.000 --> 0:36:15.680
<v Speaker 3>I just want to help talk to people.

0:36:16.760 --> 0:36:27.400
<v Speaker 2>Jayden, Yeah, I think I I you know, I've enjoyed

0:36:27.480 --> 0:36:29.440
<v Speaker 2>I've enjoyed talking to you. I'm gonna I'm gonna be

0:36:29.480 --> 0:36:32.960
<v Speaker 2>super honest with you. It's been challenging to figure you

0:36:33.080 --> 0:36:36.879
<v Speaker 2>out and to get information from you. And I think

0:36:36.920 --> 0:36:38.480
<v Speaker 2>you know, and I think, no, no, no, you have nothing

0:36:38.480 --> 0:36:40.880
<v Speaker 2>to be apologized for. I think you, I think you know.

0:36:41.600 --> 0:36:43.239
<v Speaker 2>I think you're a smart guy. So I think you

0:36:43.360 --> 0:36:46.520
<v Speaker 2>know that it's challenging to get information for you. I've

0:36:46.640 --> 0:36:50.920
<v Speaker 2>enjoyed the challenge. You like getting this it, well, I

0:36:51.000 --> 0:36:54.520
<v Speaker 2>it's difficult, but I've enjoyed the challenge of it. I've

0:36:54.600 --> 0:36:57.239
<v Speaker 2>enjoyed the challenge of I said at the beginning of

0:36:57.239 --> 0:36:59.239
<v Speaker 2>this call that I swore on my life I would

0:36:59.239 --> 0:37:01.399
<v Speaker 2>attempt to under stand the things that you were saying

0:37:01.440 --> 0:37:04.520
<v Speaker 2>to me. And I've enjoyed the challenge of doing it.

0:37:08.480 --> 0:37:10.080
<v Speaker 1>And I hope you don't understand that.

0:37:11.239 --> 0:37:15.399
<v Speaker 2>I well, well, well, jaden, listen. I can't. I can't

0:37:15.440 --> 0:37:17.839
<v Speaker 2>understand everything you're saying because I'm not God.

0:37:18.680 --> 0:37:19.160
<v Speaker 1>That's true.

0:37:19.680 --> 0:37:21.920
<v Speaker 2>But I can attempt, and I feel like I did attempt,

0:37:22.680 --> 0:37:24.239
<v Speaker 2>and I feel like you attempt it. I feel like

0:37:24.280 --> 0:37:26.880
<v Speaker 2>you've tried the best, and I appreciate I appreciate you

0:37:26.880 --> 0:37:30.240
<v Speaker 2>sitting here with me, and I feel like you attempted

0:37:30.280 --> 0:37:33.760
<v Speaker 2>as best you could to explain it and I'm aware

0:37:33.840 --> 0:37:36.480
<v Speaker 2>that ninety I'm aware that almost one hundred percent of

0:37:36.480 --> 0:37:38.200
<v Speaker 2>the people listening are gonna have no idea what either

0:37:38.200 --> 0:37:40.239
<v Speaker 2>of us were talking about the entire time. And I'm

0:37:40.239 --> 0:37:43.000
<v Speaker 2>okay with that. I'm okay with that.

0:37:43.440 --> 0:37:46.600
<v Speaker 1>Okay, dude, that's okay.

0:37:46.760 --> 0:37:51.000
<v Speaker 2>I'm not worried either. It's all right. This is was good.

0:37:50.400 --> 0:37:52.080
<v Speaker 3>That is very good.

0:37:52.360 --> 0:37:53.560
<v Speaker 2>Jane, is there anything else you want to say to

0:37:53.560 --> 0:37:54.719
<v Speaker 2>the people of the computer before we go?

0:37:58.800 --> 0:38:02.160
<v Speaker 1>What is a computer if not what you are computing,

0:38:03.320 --> 0:38:06.520
<v Speaker 1>which means complying and playing?

0:38:07.120 --> 0:38:10.080
<v Speaker 2>I think, Thank you, Jane. I don't have a good

0:38:10.080 --> 0:38:10.560
<v Speaker 2>rest of the night.

0:38:11.480 --> 0:38:12.680
<v Speaker 1>I love you, mane, I have a good one.

0:38:12.920 --> 0:38:17.240
<v Speaker 2>Thank you, Jane, I love you too. Back all right, Well,

0:38:18.160 --> 0:38:23.080
<v Speaker 2>that was you know what, I fully one hundred percent

0:38:23.200 --> 0:38:25.640
<v Speaker 2>stand by that. Let me know when the comments of

0:38:25.760 --> 0:38:30.040
<v Speaker 2>the YouTube or the Spotify or whatever, how I really

0:38:30.120 --> 0:38:32.000
<v Speaker 2>want to I mean, I guess that's what comments are for,

0:38:32.160 --> 0:38:34.960
<v Speaker 2>is for commenting on the thing, But I really want

0:38:35.000 --> 0:38:36.879
<v Speaker 2>to know how people felt about that. Did you make

0:38:36.920 --> 0:38:41.120
<v Speaker 2>it through? Did you listen to the whole forty minute

0:38:41.360 --> 0:38:44.560
<v Speaker 2>of us, forty minutes of us talking. Did you get

0:38:44.640 --> 0:38:46.560
<v Speaker 2>five minutes in and you were like, I don't know

0:38:46.600 --> 0:38:50.640
<v Speaker 2>if I can understand that I liked being in that

0:38:50.719 --> 0:38:53.280
<v Speaker 2>I did that felt like I was playing pong or something.

0:38:54.080 --> 0:38:59.160
<v Speaker 2>I enjoyed the challenge of that. I live in New

0:38:59.239 --> 0:39:05.799
<v Speaker 2>York and like, I don't think that this previous caller

0:39:05.880 --> 0:39:08.200
<v Speaker 2>was schizophrenic, but schizophrenic people come up to me a

0:39:08.200 --> 0:39:13.320
<v Speaker 2>lot and we talk, and I've learned a lot. I think,

0:39:14.560 --> 0:39:17.319
<v Speaker 2>like some like I think beneath the beneath like a

0:39:17.400 --> 0:39:22.400
<v Speaker 2>jumble of like a random people saying seemingly random stuff.

0:39:23.120 --> 0:39:28.680
<v Speaker 2>There's a kernel of something in there, and I think

0:39:28.719 --> 0:39:31.440
<v Speaker 2>you can get to that kernel if you like, you know,

0:39:31.600 --> 0:39:35.280
<v Speaker 2>keep it on track. Because Jayden was trying to explain something.

0:39:35.840 --> 0:39:40.319
<v Speaker 2>I'm not fully sure I got all of it, but

0:39:40.480 --> 0:39:43.080
<v Speaker 2>I got some of it. I got more of it

0:39:43.160 --> 0:39:47.000
<v Speaker 2>than I would have if I didn't try, and and

0:39:47.080 --> 0:39:51.239
<v Speaker 2>I'm happy about that. Okay, let me know in the

0:39:51.239 --> 0:39:56.320
<v Speaker 2>comments if you got if you've got anything. I'm curious

0:39:56.320 --> 0:40:00.000
<v Speaker 2>of other people's interpretations. And he fucked my shit up

0:40:00.040 --> 0:40:04.360
<v Speaker 2>up by telling me about putting the K in front

0:40:04.360 --> 0:40:09.560
<v Speaker 2>of the now because I put it in I put

0:40:09.560 --> 0:40:11.200
<v Speaker 2>it at the on the right hand side. I didn't

0:40:11.239 --> 0:40:17.280
<v Speaker 2>put it in front. I'm walking through life completely unaware

0:40:18.360 --> 0:40:21.920
<v Speaker 2>of my own perspective and how it makes me put

0:40:22.520 --> 0:40:30.279
<v Speaker 2>k's in different places. All right, Hello, Deck?

0:40:30.640 --> 0:40:31.040
<v Speaker 3>Is this you?

0:40:31.719 --> 0:40:33.920
<v Speaker 2>Yeah? Who is this?

0:40:33.920 --> 0:40:34.359
<v Speaker 3>This is Ti?

0:40:34.440 --> 0:40:34.600
<v Speaker 1>Ti?

0:40:35.160 --> 0:40:36.000
<v Speaker 2>What's up? Tight? Time?

0:40:38.000 --> 0:40:41.680
<v Speaker 3>Nothing much? Dude, calling because I have a quandary for

0:40:41.760 --> 0:40:42.240
<v Speaker 3>you today.

0:40:42.800 --> 0:40:43.400
<v Speaker 2>Quonned me?

0:40:44.920 --> 0:40:49.640
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, dude, So just a little bit of backstory. I

0:40:49.840 --> 0:40:54.120
<v Speaker 3>recently moved to a major West Coast city to pursue

0:40:54.280 --> 0:41:00.680
<v Speaker 3>art music, start a whole new life type thing. And

0:41:01.760 --> 0:41:04.560
<v Speaker 3>I've been here about a month and a half and

0:41:04.640 --> 0:41:08.040
<v Speaker 3>a lot of good things have been happening, and the

0:41:08.080 --> 0:41:11.400
<v Speaker 3>one thing that's really been holding me back is, for

0:41:11.480 --> 0:41:13.839
<v Speaker 3>the fucking life of me, I cannot get a job.

0:41:15.080 --> 0:41:19.240
<v Speaker 3>I've probably have applied over two hundred places, like places

0:41:19.280 --> 0:41:24.960
<v Speaker 3>I'm overqualified to be working at, and I've gotten five

0:41:25.480 --> 0:41:29.960
<v Speaker 3>job interviews, four of which I really really wanted and

0:41:30.000 --> 0:41:36.640
<v Speaker 3>would have like suited my needs financially, and finally landed

0:41:36.680 --> 0:41:43.279
<v Speaker 3>one today. But I'd be working swingshift, so from like

0:41:43.800 --> 0:41:48.040
<v Speaker 3>anywhere from like two thirty to twelve thirty, depending on

0:41:48.080 --> 0:41:52.759
<v Speaker 3>the day, which essentially would kill any hopes of me

0:41:52.960 --> 0:41:59.640
<v Speaker 3>like going out and doing the art stuff. So I'd

0:41:59.640 --> 0:42:05.320
<v Speaker 3>had to for me the fuck up, which is killing

0:42:05.360 --> 0:42:08.480
<v Speaker 3>my soul to think about, because I really came out

0:42:08.480 --> 0:42:14.640
<v Speaker 3>here with a purpose and I'm just not sure if

0:42:14.680 --> 0:42:18.719
<v Speaker 3>I'm able to live in that because either way that

0:42:18.800 --> 0:42:23.920
<v Speaker 3>I decide to go, it's gonna take an immense amount

0:42:23.960 --> 0:42:27.680
<v Speaker 3>of sacrifice. And I feel like I'm going to rock

0:42:27.719 --> 0:42:31.880
<v Speaker 3>in a hard play the Battle of Brain and Heart.

0:42:32.360 --> 0:42:37.440
<v Speaker 3>And I figured, well, I told myself today that I

0:42:37.480 --> 0:42:39.640
<v Speaker 3>would ask a few of my friends what they would do.

0:42:40.719 --> 0:42:43.000
<v Speaker 3>We're not really friends, but I've been following you since

0:42:43.080 --> 0:42:46.680
<v Speaker 3>like early early early days, and I've actually even seen

0:42:46.680 --> 0:42:50.200
<v Speaker 3>you live and stuff. Oh I think i've even called

0:42:50.200 --> 0:42:53.640
<v Speaker 3>in like five plus years ago. I can't remember exactly

0:42:53.719 --> 0:42:55.920
<v Speaker 3>what we were talking about, but I said something about

0:42:56.320 --> 0:43:03.080
<v Speaker 3>my mommy kisses, my boo boos. I don't remember the context,

0:43:03.920 --> 0:43:10.640
<v Speaker 3>but yeah, So you're somebody who I definitely respect artistically

0:43:11.880 --> 0:43:15.919
<v Speaker 3>as someone that fucking tried it, man, and for better

0:43:16.000 --> 0:43:17.760
<v Speaker 3>or worse. I mean, I don't know your whole life,

0:43:17.760 --> 0:43:20.920
<v Speaker 3>but it seems like you found some success and some

0:43:21.000 --> 0:43:23.319
<v Speaker 3>self worth in it, and I think as artists, that's

0:43:23.320 --> 0:43:25.640
<v Speaker 3>what we're all really striving for.

0:43:26.560 --> 0:43:31.960
<v Speaker 2>Well, I appreciate those kind words. I have multiple questions Okay, wait,

0:43:32.000 --> 0:43:33.640
<v Speaker 2>what's a swing shift.

0:43:34.600 --> 0:43:37.319
<v Speaker 3>That's like basically the second shift of the day. So

0:43:37.480 --> 0:43:40.799
<v Speaker 3>like when most people working nine to five or you know,

0:43:41.040 --> 0:43:44.840
<v Speaker 3>up until three pm, that would be like the relief shift.

0:43:44.920 --> 0:43:47.319
<v Speaker 3>So I'd be working from three in the afternoon to

0:43:48.600 --> 0:43:50.000
<v Speaker 3>some days past midnight.

0:43:51.280 --> 0:43:52.560
<v Speaker 2>Okay, how many days a week?

0:43:52.719 --> 0:43:57.160
<v Speaker 3>You five? My days off would be Fridays and Saturdays.

0:43:57.239 --> 0:44:00.440
<v Speaker 3>But this is going to be a very demanding job,

0:44:01.200 --> 0:44:04.359
<v Speaker 3>like they've already like alluded to me, like picking up

0:44:04.400 --> 0:44:09.600
<v Speaker 3>shifts for other people. So another kind of thing about

0:44:09.640 --> 0:44:12.799
<v Speaker 3>it is where I moved in this city, traffic is

0:44:12.800 --> 0:44:17.000
<v Speaker 3>a really big problem. And while this place is fifteen

0:44:17.120 --> 0:44:20.320
<v Speaker 3>sixteen miles away from my house, through traffic, it's like

0:44:20.360 --> 0:44:21.440
<v Speaker 3>an hour and ten minutes.

0:44:21.680 --> 0:44:24.080
<v Speaker 2>Fuck yeah, so you've got to add two whole hours

0:44:24.160 --> 0:44:25.760
<v Speaker 2>onto your lighte onto this thing.

0:44:26.000 --> 0:44:28.920
<v Speaker 3>Everye day yep. And then I get home at like

0:44:30.080 --> 0:44:34.720
<v Speaker 3>one two am, fall asleep, probably wake up at ten am,

0:44:34.800 --> 0:44:38.359
<v Speaker 3>take a shower, and do all that shit again. Now,

0:44:38.400 --> 0:44:41.560
<v Speaker 3>I will say, though, the money is good, and with

0:44:41.600 --> 0:44:43.120
<v Speaker 3>over time it makes it even better.

0:44:43.560 --> 0:44:44.240
<v Speaker 2>How good.

0:44:45.520 --> 0:44:47.200
<v Speaker 3>Fixes all my financial problems?

0:44:48.120 --> 0:44:53.200
<v Speaker 2>Okay, Okay, I'm.

0:44:53.080 --> 0:44:57.799
<v Speaker 3>A single mail with no kids. Pretty good, so I

0:44:57.800 --> 0:45:02.120
<v Speaker 3>don't have any real responsibilities to anybody about myself right now, swag,

0:45:05.040 --> 0:45:05.800
<v Speaker 3>it is kind of okay.

0:45:06.120 --> 0:45:07.840
<v Speaker 2>I have more, I have more, I have more questions.

0:45:07.880 --> 0:45:09.280
<v Speaker 3>I have more questions, I have more answers.

0:45:09.800 --> 0:45:15.120
<v Speaker 2>Uh you what what arts did you move out here

0:45:15.120 --> 0:45:15.360
<v Speaker 2>to do?

0:45:17.000 --> 0:45:19.920
<v Speaker 3>Primarily music? But I've taken a lot of interest in

0:45:20.040 --> 0:45:25.880
<v Speaker 3>film and screenwriting. I consider myself like a songwriter, but

0:45:26.160 --> 0:45:28.800
<v Speaker 3>I make a lot of hip hop style music.

0:45:29.280 --> 0:45:34.640
<v Speaker 2>Okay, so music and film. Yeah, And this is and

0:45:34.680 --> 0:45:36.840
<v Speaker 2>this play and this major West coast city that you

0:45:36.880 --> 0:45:44.200
<v Speaker 2>moved to. Where did you move there from.

0:45:41.239 --> 0:45:43.960
<v Speaker 3>Another major northern California city?

0:45:44.960 --> 0:45:47.120
<v Speaker 2>Okay? And this major West coast I'm trying not to

0:45:47.120 --> 0:45:50.960
<v Speaker 2>out myself. This major West coast city wouldn't happen to

0:45:51.000 --> 0:45:52.400
<v Speaker 2>be Los Angeles? Would it?

0:45:54.719 --> 0:45:58.239
<v Speaker 3>If it was, it would make a difference. It's a

0:45:58.280 --> 0:46:00.319
<v Speaker 3>big place where a lot of famous people will come.

0:46:00.360 --> 0:46:00.920
<v Speaker 3>I'll say that.

0:46:01.960 --> 0:46:06.319
<v Speaker 4>You can just say if you're not gonna okay, all right,

0:46:06.360 --> 0:46:09.360
<v Speaker 4>I moved from the Bay to l A. There it is, okay, Jesus,

0:46:09.920 --> 0:46:12.640
<v Speaker 4>it doesn't hold on, hold on, hold on, it doesn't

0:46:12.680 --> 0:46:14.000
<v Speaker 4>have this does not have to be.

0:46:15.640 --> 0:46:20.240
<v Speaker 2>You're not the only way there's there's nobody's gonna.

0:46:20.000 --> 0:46:23.239
<v Speaker 3>Find I'll tell you. I'll tell you why, because I

0:46:23.280 --> 0:46:27.320
<v Speaker 3>do have like friends and close people that do listen

0:46:27.320 --> 0:46:29.959
<v Speaker 3>to your show that I don't fill one hundred percent

0:46:30.080 --> 0:46:33.840
<v Speaker 3>comfortable sharing all my personal issues with.

0:46:34.120 --> 0:46:34.600
<v Speaker 2>Okay.

0:46:35.719 --> 0:46:38.680
<v Speaker 3>Now you, on the other hand, I'm.

0:46:38.520 --> 0:46:43.200
<v Speaker 2>A complete stranger. I'm a complete stranger with thousands of

0:46:43.200 --> 0:46:47.799
<v Speaker 2>other complete strangers who are happy to Okay, So you

0:46:47.880 --> 0:46:51.480
<v Speaker 2>moved the Bay. So you moved from SF to So

0:46:51.520 --> 0:46:54.719
<v Speaker 2>you moved from a very okay Sacramento. Okay, it's a

0:46:54.719 --> 0:46:55.360
<v Speaker 2>different story.

0:46:56.520 --> 0:47:00.560
<v Speaker 3>Hmm. What's I lived? I lived a lot and did

0:47:00.600 --> 0:47:05.520
<v Speaker 3>a lot of music things in Oakland, San Francisco, Sacramentos

0:47:05.520 --> 0:47:07.800
<v Speaker 3>where I lived, but a lot of my connections are

0:47:07.840 --> 0:47:11.319
<v Speaker 3>based in northern California. Okay, and you moved, so I'm

0:47:11.320 --> 0:47:12.480
<v Speaker 3>starting all over again.

0:47:12.719 --> 0:47:14.480
<v Speaker 2>Okay, Here's what I understand. Here's what I want to

0:47:14.480 --> 0:47:22.160
<v Speaker 2>talk about, is why did you? Okay, the idea that

0:47:22.360 --> 0:47:27.200
<v Speaker 2>you need to be in a certain location for a

0:47:27.239 --> 0:47:32.879
<v Speaker 2>certain kind of career in the arts is not I don't.

0:47:33.160 --> 0:47:37.680
<v Speaker 2>I believe. I'm strongly, strongly against it.

0:47:39.200 --> 0:47:42.520
<v Speaker 3>I could agree with that. Actually, so my ultimate goal

0:47:42.920 --> 0:47:45.960
<v Speaker 3>isn't to be locked down the one place.

0:47:46.239 --> 0:47:52.759
<v Speaker 2>Actually, yeah, so why did you intentionally move to a

0:47:52.880 --> 0:47:55.480
<v Speaker 2>place where the cost of living? Why did you intend

0:47:55.480 --> 0:47:58.040
<v Speaker 2>if you have all these financial problems, why did you

0:47:58.080 --> 0:48:00.000
<v Speaker 2>intentionally move to a place that will be an even

0:48:00.239 --> 0:48:01.960
<v Speaker 2>harder strain on your finances?

0:48:02.719 --> 0:48:05.919
<v Speaker 3>Well, to be honest, I actually looked up and where

0:48:05.920 --> 0:48:09.360
<v Speaker 3>I'm at right now, I'm paying significantly less per month

0:48:09.400 --> 0:48:13.960
<v Speaker 3>than I was up in Sacramento, and so it's not

0:48:14.000 --> 0:48:16.880
<v Speaker 3>like I have a bunch of issues. And to be

0:48:16.920 --> 0:48:20.560
<v Speaker 3>even more honest, my bills are paid, which is another

0:48:20.600 --> 0:48:23.000
<v Speaker 3>factor of this, Like for the next two to three months,

0:48:23.040 --> 0:48:27.719
<v Speaker 3>my bills are paid, but there's no income, you know,

0:48:28.400 --> 0:48:32.840
<v Speaker 3>which is kind of like why, I'm like, fuck, do

0:48:32.960 --> 0:48:36.440
<v Speaker 3>I need to just I don't know. I feel like

0:48:36.440 --> 0:48:39.120
<v Speaker 3>I'm just getting momentum right now, you know, getting my

0:48:39.160 --> 0:48:44.360
<v Speaker 3>feet planted in like the actual art scene, and again,

0:48:44.520 --> 0:48:47.880
<v Speaker 3>got some cool opportunities, and it just be so weird

0:48:48.600 --> 0:48:51.799
<v Speaker 3>to be like so in people's face and start having

0:48:51.880 --> 0:48:54.440
<v Speaker 3>this momentum and then all of a sudden, I'm just gone,

0:48:55.160 --> 0:48:57.120
<v Speaker 3>you know, not just to other people, but to me

0:48:57.200 --> 0:48:57.680
<v Speaker 3>as well.

0:48:58.080 --> 0:49:04.200
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, so you're having you're actually getting good opportunities in

0:49:04.280 --> 0:49:06.480
<v Speaker 2>Los Angeles because you're in Los Angeles because I don't know.

0:49:06.520 --> 0:49:08.239
<v Speaker 2>I might be eating my words, but I don't.

0:49:08.400 --> 0:49:10.640
<v Speaker 3>No, no, no, no, I mean it's hit or miss.

0:49:10.719 --> 0:49:12.520
<v Speaker 3>You know. I came down here with a bit of

0:49:12.560 --> 0:49:15.400
<v Speaker 3>a plan and the rest have just been winging it

0:49:15.440 --> 0:49:19.520
<v Speaker 3>and getting really lucky. And yeah, it's been good. I've

0:49:19.560 --> 0:49:23.040
<v Speaker 3>been meeting really talented people and like minded individuals and

0:49:23.120 --> 0:49:25.480
<v Speaker 3>you know, my healthy share of fucking weirdos that you know,

0:49:25.600 --> 0:49:28.160
<v Speaker 3>aren't about what they're talking about. But it's a good

0:49:28.160 --> 0:49:30.640
<v Speaker 3>balance right now, and it's something that I feel like

0:49:30.680 --> 0:49:33.640
<v Speaker 3>I could work with. But there's still like that one

0:49:33.760 --> 0:49:36.160
<v Speaker 3>factor kind of missing. You know, at the end of

0:49:36.200 --> 0:49:37.200
<v Speaker 3>the day, we all got to eat.

0:49:38.760 --> 0:49:45.600
<v Speaker 2>And so obviously this is a very demanding job and.

0:49:45.960 --> 0:49:48.520
<v Speaker 3>It is like fifty sixty hours a week.

0:49:48.640 --> 0:49:51.680
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I think crazy, And it would it be taking

0:49:51.719 --> 0:49:54.839
<v Speaker 2>away from time that like, like I assume you want

0:49:54.840 --> 0:49:57.560
<v Speaker 2>to be like outperforming doing events and shit, right.

0:49:58.400 --> 0:50:02.360
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, which entertainment now hours are pretty much or to midnight,

0:50:02.680 --> 0:50:02.920
<v Speaker 3>you know.

0:50:03.400 --> 0:50:07.600
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, Okay, well let me say this. Let me ask

0:50:07.640 --> 0:50:09.760
<v Speaker 2>you this. The people that you're meeting in this scene,

0:50:09.800 --> 0:50:11.280
<v Speaker 2>what do they do? Where do they work?

0:50:13.280 --> 0:50:14.960
<v Speaker 3>A lot of them, A lot of folks out here

0:50:15.000 --> 0:50:19.160
<v Speaker 3>have multiple jobs, you know, they bounce around, they have

0:50:19.560 --> 0:50:23.120
<v Speaker 3>or they have their own side hustles. And yeah, a

0:50:23.120 --> 0:50:26.880
<v Speaker 3>lot of like multiple job ask people out here, because

0:50:27.719 --> 0:50:29.600
<v Speaker 3>I mean that's kind of what it takes if you're

0:50:29.640 --> 0:50:31.759
<v Speaker 3>not going to get a normy job. M hm.

0:50:33.520 --> 0:50:35.840
<v Speaker 2>So wait, this job that you've got, is it a

0:50:35.960 --> 0:50:37.680
<v Speaker 2>normy it's a normal job, right.

0:50:38.080 --> 0:50:41.759
<v Speaker 3>It's for a major corporate company that I'm definitely not

0:50:41.800 --> 0:50:47.040
<v Speaker 3>going to name having to do with specimen collection. I'll

0:50:47.080 --> 0:50:47.839
<v Speaker 3>just say it like that.

0:50:48.280 --> 0:50:53.399
<v Speaker 2>You work for a Come company.

0:50:51.800 --> 0:50:56.680
<v Speaker 3>Among other specimens. I think Come is one of the

0:50:56.680 --> 0:50:59.080
<v Speaker 3>things I might have to pick up now with my end.

0:50:59.200 --> 0:51:05.080
<v Speaker 3>Luckily I don't work for them, Yeah I should. Yeah, Yeah,

0:51:05.360 --> 0:51:08.239
<v Speaker 3>let's call it Come Corp for sake of continuity.

0:51:10.000 --> 0:51:12.400
<v Speaker 2>So you have not yet accepted the job at Comcorp.

0:51:14.040 --> 0:51:17.560
<v Speaker 3>No, I just got the offer this morning, mm hmm.

0:51:18.560 --> 0:51:21.680
<v Speaker 2>And it's very good money. And you've applied to a

0:51:21.719 --> 0:51:25.319
<v Speaker 2>billion other places and none of them accepted. And you've

0:51:25.320 --> 0:51:27.200
<v Speaker 2>been how long have you been in how long have

0:51:27.239 --> 0:51:28.320
<v Speaker 2>you been in Los Angeles?

0:51:28.320 --> 0:51:31.280
<v Speaker 3>For about a month and a half.

0:51:32.520 --> 0:51:36.080
<v Speaker 2>Okay, And it's been good to you so far, so far,

0:51:36.200 --> 0:51:43.360
<v Speaker 2>so good. Well, and you know, I I have a

0:51:43.400 --> 0:51:48.920
<v Speaker 2>lot of thoughts about this because I don't know how.

0:51:49.040 --> 0:51:50.640
<v Speaker 2>I mean, I know that the job search, I know,

0:51:50.840 --> 0:51:58.960
<v Speaker 2>like the the job market sucks shit everywhere, but I'm

0:51:58.960 --> 0:52:02.600
<v Speaker 2>also like, you know, I don't know if it sucks

0:52:02.960 --> 0:52:10.239
<v Speaker 2>more shit in Los Angeles because it's Los Angeles. I mean, look,

0:52:10.280 --> 0:52:12.279
<v Speaker 2>you got the go ahead and work the job for

0:52:12.360 --> 0:52:17.440
<v Speaker 2>a little bit, right, especially if it's good money and

0:52:17.520 --> 0:52:20.560
<v Speaker 2>you can kind of stack a little bit, right. But

0:52:20.719 --> 0:52:22.880
<v Speaker 2>I'll here's what I'll say that. Here's here's my thoughts

0:52:23.080 --> 0:52:26.640
<v Speaker 2>is if you work this job for like you know, one, two, three,

0:52:27.400 --> 0:52:30.240
<v Speaker 2>four or five, six months or whatever, and you're stacking

0:52:30.320 --> 0:52:33.560
<v Speaker 2>good bread, but you're also like, oh fuck, I came

0:52:33.560 --> 0:52:36.200
<v Speaker 2>out here to like do this music stuff and I'm

0:52:36.239 --> 0:52:38.480
<v Speaker 2>just like, no, I just can't do it with this job.

0:52:39.080 --> 0:52:42.920
<v Speaker 2>Then I think you go, like, all right, where what

0:52:43.080 --> 0:52:51.440
<v Speaker 2>about like uh, Seattle or Baltimore or Austin or Portland

0:52:52.160 --> 0:52:56.399
<v Speaker 2>or fucking anyway any other you could because he's the thing. Man,

0:52:56.440 --> 0:52:58.319
<v Speaker 2>It's like the whole dream of like I went with

0:52:58.360 --> 0:53:00.319
<v Speaker 2>my guitar to a Los Angeles, it's just not there

0:53:00.360 --> 0:53:04.640
<v Speaker 2>anymore because everything's like yeah, because everything's on the internet, right,

0:53:05.200 --> 0:53:08.600
<v Speaker 2>So yeah, you could so like go to a go

0:53:08.680 --> 0:53:11.880
<v Speaker 2>to it. You can go to any major city in

0:53:11.960 --> 0:53:16.200
<v Speaker 2>the US or abroad and they'll have like a music

0:53:16.320 --> 0:53:18.759
<v Speaker 2>scene of some kind. Like it didn't have to be

0:53:18.800 --> 0:53:22.759
<v Speaker 2>Los Angeles. So if if this is the only, if

0:53:22.800 --> 0:53:25.359
<v Speaker 2>the only jobs you can find at Los Angeles are

0:53:25.400 --> 0:53:30.000
<v Speaker 2>you know, seventy hours a week at come Corp, then

0:53:30.040 --> 0:53:32.640
<v Speaker 2>you know, stack your come. But then I open your

0:53:32.640 --> 0:53:35.799
<v Speaker 2>options up. That's what it won't be my come.

0:53:35.840 --> 0:53:37.840
<v Speaker 3>I'm stacking. But I kept your meeting.

0:53:38.360 --> 0:53:39.719
<v Speaker 2>What'd your what did your friends say?

0:53:43.120 --> 0:53:45.600
<v Speaker 3>I spoke to a I have an older friend that like,

0:53:46.360 --> 0:53:48.759
<v Speaker 3>in a lot of ways we have crossover. He's like

0:53:48.760 --> 0:53:51.800
<v Speaker 3>twenty years older than me. But back in the nineties,

0:53:51.840 --> 0:53:54.799
<v Speaker 3>he had a really good opportunity and all he had

0:53:54.800 --> 0:53:57.680
<v Speaker 3>to do was move to LA and he didn't take it.

0:53:58.800 --> 0:54:00.879
<v Speaker 3>And he's still really really good at what he does,

0:54:01.040 --> 0:54:04.160
<v Speaker 3>you know, but I know that, like sometimes he might

0:54:04.200 --> 0:54:07.120
<v Speaker 3>wonder what his life would have looked like had he

0:54:07.200 --> 0:54:10.040
<v Speaker 3>made it, you know, different decisions.

0:54:10.320 --> 0:54:14.200
<v Speaker 2>What was the opportunity that he didn't take in Los Angeles?

0:54:14.239 --> 0:54:16.560
<v Speaker 3>He had he was inside of a hip hop group

0:54:16.600 --> 0:54:18.520
<v Speaker 3>that had a little bit of traction in the nineties,

0:54:18.920 --> 0:54:21.640
<v Speaker 3>and he was offered a development deal with a group

0:54:21.680 --> 0:54:25.719
<v Speaker 3>of people, you know, his group, and I guess he

0:54:25.840 --> 0:54:31.160
<v Speaker 3>was like the odd man out and he stayed in

0:54:31.200 --> 0:54:35.120
<v Speaker 3>northern California and they went on and found varying levels

0:54:35.120 --> 0:54:38.920
<v Speaker 3>of success. But like that was they're kind of like,

0:54:39.960 --> 0:54:42.319
<v Speaker 3>I don't know that that thing that we're all waiting for,

0:54:42.360 --> 0:54:44.520
<v Speaker 3>the person that's going to pluck you out of obscurity.

0:54:45.400 --> 0:54:49.279
<v Speaker 3>He had that opportunity and he didn't take it. And

0:54:49.360 --> 0:54:51.759
<v Speaker 3>I'm not saying I have that opportunity, but I just

0:54:52.160 --> 0:54:56.200
<v Speaker 3>I also been feeling like this incredible pressure of something's

0:54:56.239 --> 0:54:57.040
<v Speaker 3>about to happen.

0:54:57.480 --> 0:54:59.360
<v Speaker 2>Well, you do have that opportunity, but that but that

0:54:59.440 --> 0:55:02.759
<v Speaker 2>opportunity is going to be a computer algorithm more than

0:55:02.800 --> 0:55:04.360
<v Speaker 2>it is like a person.

0:55:06.360 --> 0:55:08.399
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, maybe maybe you're right.

0:55:08.600 --> 0:55:09.880
<v Speaker 2>It's just the way that shit works.

0:55:09.920 --> 0:55:16.920
<v Speaker 3>Now everybody's been calling it the La handshakes, just changing instagrams.

0:55:17.280 --> 0:55:19.760
<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah yeah, but that's all like kind of bullshit.

0:55:19.840 --> 0:55:22.560
<v Speaker 2>I mean that's good. That stuff is good for, Like yeah,

0:55:22.560 --> 0:55:24.520
<v Speaker 2>I mean that's all bullshit. That stuff is good for

0:55:24.640 --> 0:55:26.680
<v Speaker 2>like you want to have friends and you want to

0:55:26.719 --> 0:55:28.960
<v Speaker 2>be around other people or else to go insane, but

0:55:29.000 --> 0:55:34.000
<v Speaker 2>it's not gonna like do anything for your career. Yeah,

0:55:34.680 --> 0:55:41.080
<v Speaker 2>I've learned. I've learned I have learned over the course

0:55:41.160 --> 0:55:45.320
<v Speaker 2>of navigating whatever career I've had doing this. Actually, actually

0:55:45.360 --> 0:55:50.120
<v Speaker 2>that's not It's not entirely true. I have I have

0:55:50.239 --> 0:55:56.200
<v Speaker 2>a few key like business relationships that are like insanely

0:55:56.360 --> 0:56:00.960
<v Speaker 2>helpful for me. Most of the rest of them are like,

0:56:01.960 --> 0:56:06.120
<v Speaker 2>you know, uh, not that import I only there's like

0:56:06.560 --> 0:56:12.040
<v Speaker 2>there's like a few people like business wise that have

0:56:12.040 --> 0:56:14.239
<v Speaker 2>been really helpful, but most of that most of the time,

0:56:14.320 --> 0:56:18.200
<v Speaker 2>you know, what I've learned is that, like I think

0:56:18.239 --> 0:56:22.200
<v Speaker 2>I used to think that like it like some some

0:56:22.400 --> 0:56:25.600
<v Speaker 2>like manager or something that comes and that gives you success.

0:56:25.880 --> 0:56:30.840
<v Speaker 2>But your continued success in any kind of creative industry

0:56:31.160 --> 0:56:33.280
<v Speaker 2>is going to come as a result of the things

0:56:33.360 --> 0:56:38.600
<v Speaker 2>that you're making, not people. You know, So I think

0:56:38.640 --> 0:56:42.520
<v Speaker 2>people like no, like, knowing certain people and having certain

0:56:43.120 --> 0:56:46.640
<v Speaker 2>folks in your corner can be super helpful for like

0:56:46.719 --> 0:56:49.040
<v Speaker 2>elevating you and doing other things. But at the end

0:56:49.040 --> 0:56:50.640
<v Speaker 2>of the day, it's like you gotta make. It's about

0:56:50.640 --> 0:56:55.799
<v Speaker 2>the stuff you're making. So yeah, and you can make

0:56:55.920 --> 0:56:58.719
<v Speaker 2>stuff from anywhere on the planet, you know. I mean,

0:56:58.760 --> 0:57:01.520
<v Speaker 2>I started doing this for in I thought about this

0:57:01.520 --> 0:57:03.840
<v Speaker 2>a lot because I started doing this in the suburbs

0:57:03.880 --> 0:57:06.360
<v Speaker 2>of Baltimore. You know, I didn't start doing this in

0:57:06.400 --> 0:57:13.360
<v Speaker 2>Los Angeles or New York. You know. I'm I and

0:57:12.640 --> 0:57:15.319
<v Speaker 2>Eve and even the people that I met that like

0:57:15.360 --> 0:57:17.520
<v Speaker 2>when I like those business relationships I was talking about,

0:57:17.560 --> 0:57:20.160
<v Speaker 2>those are people I met online. Oh there's people I

0:57:20.200 --> 0:57:23.439
<v Speaker 2>met on the internet too, you know, so like they're

0:57:23.480 --> 0:57:27.480
<v Speaker 2>not people I met at Like I have friends that

0:57:27.560 --> 0:57:30.680
<v Speaker 2>I've met at like things I do in person, But

0:57:30.720 --> 0:57:33.800
<v Speaker 2>in terms of like any kind of like people that

0:57:33.840 --> 0:57:37.040
<v Speaker 2>have helped me out with with building a career, they've

0:57:37.080 --> 0:57:40.440
<v Speaker 2>all been I can't think of a single person like

0:57:40.480 --> 0:57:43.760
<v Speaker 2>that that I had that I met in person. I

0:57:43.760 --> 0:57:45.880
<v Speaker 2>met all those people again in my mom's basement.

0:57:47.040 --> 0:57:51.480
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, and me too. I definitely have had like lasting

0:57:52.040 --> 0:57:55.480
<v Speaker 3>friendships and business relationships even to this day. Part of

0:57:55.480 --> 0:57:57.160
<v Speaker 3>the reason I came down here is like some of

0:57:57.160 --> 0:58:00.760
<v Speaker 3>my bid my strongest relationships are down here, and so

0:58:01.000 --> 0:58:03.880
<v Speaker 3>to some extent I wanted more proximity with them. But

0:58:04.080 --> 0:58:07.240
<v Speaker 3>one thing that is worth mentioning is that my music

0:58:07.680 --> 0:58:11.600
<v Speaker 3>and the art that I express has a a really

0:58:11.600 --> 0:58:19.320
<v Speaker 3>big performance artist aspect to it, and strangely, I've gotten

0:58:19.360 --> 0:58:22.960
<v Speaker 3>a lot of like a lot of opportunities just from

0:58:23.000 --> 0:58:25.880
<v Speaker 3>people liking me on stage. You know, I'm not sitting

0:58:25.920 --> 0:58:28.040
<v Speaker 3>here saying that I got this, you know, the hardest

0:58:28.040 --> 0:58:30.840
<v Speaker 3>bars and like the best mixing and all these things.

0:58:30.880 --> 0:58:34.200
<v Speaker 3>But you know I kind of have without tooting my

0:58:34.240 --> 0:58:38.000
<v Speaker 3>own horm, I kind of win people over and yeah, yeah,

0:58:38.080 --> 0:58:41.440
<v Speaker 3>I've gotten some really big opportunities just by showing up,

0:58:41.640 --> 0:58:41.800
<v Speaker 3>you know.

0:58:41.920 --> 0:58:43.640
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, but yeah, but there's but there again, you know,

0:58:43.680 --> 0:58:45.920
<v Speaker 2>there's stages all over the place. You know, you can

0:58:45.960 --> 0:58:48.400
<v Speaker 2>get there's stages in all all the other cities that

0:58:48.440 --> 0:58:52.080
<v Speaker 2>I mentioned. You know, there's really good. Yeah, I'm gonna

0:58:52.080 --> 0:58:53.439
<v Speaker 2>give a shout I'm going to give a shout out.

0:58:53.680 --> 0:58:55.160
<v Speaker 2>I'm going to give a shout out to someone i've

0:58:55.200 --> 0:58:57.240
<v Speaker 2>never I've never met her, but I think we follow

0:58:57.320 --> 0:59:01.400
<v Speaker 2>each other on the internet. There's this comedian she I

0:59:01.400 --> 0:59:03.720
<v Speaker 2>think she's Japanese or she lives in Japan. Her name

0:59:03.800 --> 0:59:08.880
<v Speaker 2>is Yuri A. Collins, and I follow her on Instagram

0:59:08.880 --> 0:59:11.040
<v Speaker 2>and her career is really interesting because I think she like,

0:59:11.680 --> 0:59:15.280
<v Speaker 2>she lives in Tokyo, where there's not a shout out.

0:59:15.320 --> 0:59:18.360
<v Speaker 2>The Tokyo Comedy Bar. Uh, they're great, but they're the

0:59:18.360 --> 0:59:20.280
<v Speaker 2>only game in town. You know, people don't move to

0:59:20.320 --> 0:59:26.560
<v Speaker 2>Tokyo to to become big comedy stars. But you know,

0:59:26.640 --> 0:59:30.040
<v Speaker 2>this woman, Yuria, she like started building an online presence

0:59:30.480 --> 0:59:34.600
<v Speaker 2>through may I think mainly through you know, clips and

0:59:34.640 --> 0:59:37.040
<v Speaker 2>whatnot that she put out by performing at this one

0:59:37.080 --> 0:59:40.800
<v Speaker 2>place in fucking Tokyo. And I've and it's been cool

0:59:40.880 --> 0:59:43.600
<v Speaker 2>to see her on social media, like building a career

0:59:44.280 --> 0:59:48.800
<v Speaker 2>living in a place that wasn't meant to be like

0:59:49.840 --> 0:59:52.680
<v Speaker 2>the big you know, it's not living in a place

0:59:52.720 --> 0:59:56.600
<v Speaker 2>where people don't go to start their careers. And you know,

0:59:56.680 --> 0:59:58.480
<v Speaker 2>as someone who again started a career in a place

0:59:58.480 --> 0:59:59.680
<v Speaker 2>that's not a big major city.

1:00:00.400 --> 1:00:02.600
<v Speaker 3>That's working remote, that's very impressive.

1:00:02.760 --> 1:00:05.560
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, pretty much. I mean it's well, but she's performing

1:00:05.600 --> 1:00:07.880
<v Speaker 2>and I'm and I'm bringing her up and I bring

1:00:07.920 --> 1:00:09.920
<v Speaker 2>this stuff up to bring up that you know, you

1:00:09.960 --> 1:00:12.760
<v Speaker 2>can also have a performance based career that doesn't have

1:00:12.800 --> 1:00:15.600
<v Speaker 2>to necessarily be in a New York or LA or

1:00:15.760 --> 1:00:19.680
<v Speaker 2>or in Nashville or whatever the fuck. But anyway, and

1:00:19.720 --> 1:00:22.360
<v Speaker 2>I don't And it's like it feels glaringly obvious to me,

1:00:22.400 --> 1:00:23.600
<v Speaker 2>But I don't think it's caught on to a lot

1:00:23.640 --> 1:00:26.960
<v Speaker 2>of people yet, who are trying to do stuff. What's

1:00:26.960 --> 1:00:34.000
<v Speaker 2>your name again, Tyler? Tyler? Tyler, Tyler, Tyler, Tyler Will

1:00:35.640 --> 1:00:36.920
<v Speaker 2>Is there anything else you want to say to the

1:00:36.920 --> 1:00:38.360
<v Speaker 2>people of the computer before we go?

1:00:42.000 --> 1:00:42.160
<v Speaker 1>Hi?

1:00:42.240 --> 1:00:44.080
<v Speaker 3>Mom about it?

1:00:45.200 --> 1:00:50.640
<v Speaker 2>Tyler forever? All right, brother, have a good day. Yeah

1:00:53.880 --> 1:01:02.240
<v Speaker 2>that was Tyler. I hope people are enjoying these conversations

1:01:02.280 --> 1:01:06.720
<v Speaker 2>about career and life and stuff. That is a tough

1:01:06.800 --> 1:01:09.800
<v Speaker 2>thing because like, yeah, there's some jobs that are just

1:01:09.880 --> 1:01:15.120
<v Speaker 2>fucking all encompassing, you know. And then it's like I

1:01:15.240 --> 1:01:17.320
<v Speaker 2>used to back when I went out to open MIC's

1:01:17.360 --> 1:01:20.800
<v Speaker 2>in Philadelphia and stuff. I used to meet people and

1:01:20.880 --> 1:01:24.240
<v Speaker 2>I used to be like, uh, how are you alive?

1:01:25.920 --> 1:01:28.160
<v Speaker 2>The New York and LA are the capital of be

1:01:28.360 --> 1:01:30.960
<v Speaker 2>of Like you go to some like artsy thing or someplace,

1:01:31.040 --> 1:01:32.960
<v Speaker 2>and you're like, how are you alive? How do you

1:01:33.080 --> 1:01:39.840
<v Speaker 2>afford to eat food and live and stuff? But I

1:01:39.840 --> 1:01:48.439
<v Speaker 2>guess they figure it out. I don't know. Hello, Hi, Hi,

1:01:48.520 --> 1:01:54.280
<v Speaker 2>what's your name? I'm Deja Desia. What's going on, Desia?

1:01:54.520 --> 1:02:03.640
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, you know, just on a walk right now, hanging out.

1:02:03.680 --> 1:02:08.520
<v Speaker 5>I texted you was walking my dog earlier, but now

1:02:08.520 --> 1:02:13.560
<v Speaker 5>it's just me anyway. I don't know, I uh I

1:02:13.640 --> 1:02:21.200
<v Speaker 5>just lost my job, and so that's always fun. I'm

1:02:21.240 --> 1:02:24.240
<v Speaker 5>kind of in a weird spot right now where I

1:02:24.240 --> 1:02:27.600
<v Speaker 5>don't know, I feel like, uh, I've had a lot

1:02:27.600 --> 1:02:31.480
<v Speaker 5>of like stability that I've never felt before the last

1:02:31.600 --> 1:02:35.040
<v Speaker 5>like five years, and now suddenly it all kind of

1:02:35.040 --> 1:02:40.160
<v Speaker 5>feels like I'm on the cusp of like things changing

1:02:40.240 --> 1:02:44.920
<v Speaker 5>completely for me, and I don't know what direction or

1:02:44.920 --> 1:02:46.800
<v Speaker 5>how it's going to go. But it's just, uh, I

1:02:46.840 --> 1:02:48.520
<v Speaker 5>don't know, in a weird limbo right now.

1:02:49.560 --> 1:02:51.760
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that's what you texted me, and you said that

1:02:52.160 --> 1:02:55.600
<v Speaker 2>things are about to change forever and you're or that

1:02:55.600 --> 1:02:58.040
<v Speaker 2>they're about to change drastically and you're spooked about it.

1:02:58.080 --> 1:03:01.640
<v Speaker 2>Is that primarily the driven by the job loss, or

1:03:01.680 --> 1:03:03.800
<v Speaker 2>is there like other stuff happening?

1:03:04.880 --> 1:03:08.760
<v Speaker 5>Other stuff? For sure, I've been like working on building

1:03:09.440 --> 1:03:11.960
<v Speaker 5>a business for the last year or so with my

1:03:12.040 --> 1:03:16.520
<v Speaker 5>cousin for I do interior design. And then also I

1:03:16.560 --> 1:03:20.320
<v Speaker 5>think the scariest part is I'm pretty sure my like

1:03:20.400 --> 1:03:22.959
<v Speaker 5>long term partner and I are gonna split up soon.

1:03:24.400 --> 1:03:26.400
<v Speaker 5>So it's just kind of a lot of things at once, you.

1:03:26.360 --> 1:03:32.440
<v Speaker 2>Know, mm hmmm. How are things going with the business

1:03:32.480 --> 1:03:36.640
<v Speaker 2>that you've been building, well.

1:03:37.760 --> 1:03:40.520
<v Speaker 5>I'm in school still, and then I was also working.

1:03:40.640 --> 1:03:43.400
<v Speaker 5>So it's just mostly been like, you know, whenever I

1:03:43.440 --> 1:03:46.160
<v Speaker 5>have free time, meeting up doing a lot of back

1:03:46.240 --> 1:03:51.040
<v Speaker 5>end stuff. But I do have my first paying client,

1:03:51.120 --> 1:03:53.160
<v Speaker 5>which I'm very excited about. It is like a friend

1:03:53.200 --> 1:03:57.520
<v Speaker 5>of mine, but it's still something. Yeah, thank you.

1:04:00.040 --> 1:04:05.360
<v Speaker 2>What was the impetus of the job loss?

1:04:06.120 --> 1:04:07.840
<v Speaker 5>So I was a I was a server and a

1:04:07.920 --> 1:04:11.800
<v Speaker 5>manager at a restaurant and the restaurant was open for

1:04:11.920 --> 1:04:15.280
<v Speaker 5>thirteen years, and then I was there for almost five

1:04:15.360 --> 1:04:18.040
<v Speaker 5>and they gave us four days notice to tell us

1:04:18.080 --> 1:04:22.520
<v Speaker 5>that they were closing the restaurant. So we all kind

1:04:22.520 --> 1:04:25.080
<v Speaker 5>of got laid off out of nowhere, which was pretty shitty.

1:04:26.960 --> 1:04:30.680
<v Speaker 2>What's going on with your partner?

1:04:35.160 --> 1:04:36.680
<v Speaker 5>See, that's the big one.

1:04:37.360 --> 1:04:38.600
<v Speaker 2>That's the big one.

1:04:38.920 --> 1:04:41.960
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, yeah, I mean it's all big, but it's just,

1:04:42.320 --> 1:04:46.480
<v Speaker 5>you know, that is something I've been I don't know,

1:04:46.520 --> 1:04:49.520
<v Speaker 5>a little avoidant of because I don't exactly have the

1:04:49.560 --> 1:04:54.919
<v Speaker 5>financial freedom. We live together, so it's not like I'm

1:04:54.960 --> 1:04:59.240
<v Speaker 5>in like a shitty abusive relationship or anything, which I'm

1:04:59.240 --> 1:05:03.680
<v Speaker 5>thankful for, but it's just kind of I don't know.

1:05:03.720 --> 1:05:08.280
<v Speaker 5>We've been together three and a half years. We moved

1:05:08.320 --> 1:05:12.360
<v Speaker 5>in together after knowing each other for like a couple months,

1:05:13.160 --> 1:05:17.400
<v Speaker 5>and it was just like a relationship, like just never

1:05:17.840 --> 1:05:22.200
<v Speaker 5>experienced anything like that before. And I don't know, I

1:05:22.200 --> 1:05:28.200
<v Speaker 5>think we're just you know, the classic growing apart just

1:05:28.280 --> 1:05:33.360
<v Speaker 5>kind of feels like, I don't know, I feel like

1:05:33.440 --> 1:05:37.880
<v Speaker 5>I have a like this reoccurring lesson in my life

1:05:38.280 --> 1:05:41.280
<v Speaker 5>that I keep having to learn over and over again,

1:05:41.360 --> 1:05:43.720
<v Speaker 5>and every time I learn it, I think I'm good,

1:05:44.320 --> 1:05:48.640
<v Speaker 5>and then something else comes to like push that line

1:05:48.720 --> 1:05:50.320
<v Speaker 5>back a little. So that makes sense.

1:05:50.840 --> 1:05:55.440
<v Speaker 2>That makes a lot of sense. Yeah, I'm familiar with

1:05:55.600 --> 1:06:01.280
<v Speaker 2>the reoccurring lesson that one thinks they have learned the Nah,

1:06:01.320 --> 1:06:05.480
<v Speaker 2>they actually haven't. They they one and they meaning me

1:06:05.840 --> 1:06:11.640
<v Speaker 2>and I. So what's the lesson that you feel like

1:06:11.760 --> 1:06:13.280
<v Speaker 2>you keep learning.

1:06:17.560 --> 1:06:20.360
<v Speaker 5>I mean, I think it boils down to boundaries. But

1:06:20.440 --> 1:06:26.600
<v Speaker 5>I think that I don't know. I had a let's say,

1:06:26.600 --> 1:06:33.000
<v Speaker 5>a difficult childhood. My parents were young, shouldn't have had kids,

1:06:33.240 --> 1:06:37.280
<v Speaker 5>had a lot of kids, had a lot of drugs.

1:06:37.680 --> 1:06:42.280
<v Speaker 5>So I think that a lesson that I had to

1:06:42.360 --> 1:06:44.800
<v Speaker 5>learn when I was like no, no, no, eighteen nineteen was

1:06:46.240 --> 1:06:54.360
<v Speaker 5>I guess what unconditional love means to me? And you know,

1:06:54.360 --> 1:06:58.080
<v Speaker 5>knowing how learning how to like love someone from afar

1:06:58.600 --> 1:07:02.440
<v Speaker 5>if they're not, if having them close to you isn't

1:07:02.600 --> 1:07:10.280
<v Speaker 5>you know, beneficial or even neutral, So if that makes sense.

1:07:10.760 --> 1:07:18.280
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, so like this guy was kind of mmm pushing

1:07:18.320 --> 1:07:21.320
<v Speaker 2>your boundaries in some sense or like there was a

1:07:21.360 --> 1:07:24.160
<v Speaker 2>sense of like, oh, I still love this person, but

1:07:24.240 --> 1:07:26.320
<v Speaker 2>I have I gotta do it from afar.

1:07:28.600 --> 1:07:33.280
<v Speaker 5>Yeah. Yeah, so I think that. I don't know, I think,

1:07:33.560 --> 1:07:35.760
<v Speaker 5>like I said, like, the first time I learned this lesson,

1:07:35.800 --> 1:07:40.160
<v Speaker 5>it was like dramatic, very clear lines, like you can't

1:07:40.240 --> 1:07:42.680
<v Speaker 5>have your homeless dad sleeping in your front yard. You

1:07:42.720 --> 1:07:46.160
<v Speaker 5>got it, fucking you know, set some boundaries here and

1:07:46.200 --> 1:07:48.720
<v Speaker 5>then so on and so forth, and just little shit

1:07:48.840 --> 1:07:51.800
<v Speaker 5>like that. And it feels like every time I'm like, Okay,

1:07:52.960 --> 1:07:57.760
<v Speaker 5>I'm good, I'm in a healthy relationship, things have gone well.

1:07:57.880 --> 1:08:01.080
<v Speaker 5>I've been very happy the last few years. But now

1:08:01.120 --> 1:08:07.200
<v Speaker 5>it's like obviously less dramatic things that I'm learning, Okay,

1:08:07.440 --> 1:08:11.080
<v Speaker 5>well this needs to be a boundary too. So it's

1:08:11.120 --> 1:08:14.640
<v Speaker 5>just weird going from like such a dramatic version of

1:08:14.640 --> 1:08:18.760
<v Speaker 5>that and like feeling freed from that, Like I don't know,

1:08:18.760 --> 1:08:23.320
<v Speaker 5>from the feeling of I don't know, do you. I

1:08:23.320 --> 1:08:26.360
<v Speaker 5>don't know do you learn trying to say uh.

1:08:26.160 --> 1:08:28.840
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, because the first time you learn a lesson, it's

1:08:28.960 --> 1:08:32.400
<v Speaker 2>very in your face and you're very yeah, it's very

1:08:32.439 --> 1:08:36.479
<v Speaker 2>like obvious the first time you learn the lesson, like yeah,

1:08:36.680 --> 1:08:39.120
<v Speaker 2>you know, you can't let your dad sleep in a

1:08:39.240 --> 1:08:42.000
<v Speaker 2>tent on your lawn. And then when you learn the

1:08:42.080 --> 1:08:45.519
<v Speaker 2>lesson again, it kind of like a frog and boiling

1:08:45.640 --> 1:08:49.120
<v Speaker 2>water and it's a little bit trickier and you're like,

1:08:49.200 --> 1:08:52.320
<v Speaker 2>oh shit, I didn't even realize that I was, you know,

1:08:52.680 --> 1:08:55.400
<v Speaker 2>I thought that when I thought when I learned, I

1:08:55.400 --> 1:08:58.640
<v Speaker 2>thought that learning a lesson means that my brain and

1:08:58.760 --> 1:09:03.120
<v Speaker 2>body naturally chart waters in a different way. I didn't

1:09:03.160 --> 1:09:05.559
<v Speaker 2>realize it meant I have to actually do different thing.

1:09:05.640 --> 1:09:10.320
<v Speaker 2>I have to actively make different decisions. That fucking sucks.

1:09:10.360 --> 1:09:12.599
<v Speaker 2>That's annoying. I thought. I thought it was like an

1:09:12.760 --> 1:09:15.000
<v Speaker 2>I thought I'm like a Pokemon learning a new move

1:09:15.320 --> 1:09:17.160
<v Speaker 2>or something like that. I didn't realize I have to.

1:09:17.600 --> 1:09:23.200
<v Speaker 2>I don't want to have to do any fucking work. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

1:09:23.320 --> 1:09:25.680
<v Speaker 2>it's a Yeah, life's annoying like that. Yeah, lessons are

1:09:25.680 --> 1:09:26.599
<v Speaker 2>annoying like that.

1:09:27.400 --> 1:09:30.880
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, and not not even really in the sense that

1:09:31.000 --> 1:09:34.240
<v Speaker 5>like you know that I I've I have done a

1:09:34.280 --> 1:09:37.320
<v Speaker 5>lot of work. I'm not saying you were saying I wasn't,

1:09:37.400 --> 1:09:42.120
<v Speaker 5>but so it's like even more annoying to like put

1:09:42.160 --> 1:09:44.560
<v Speaker 5>in a ton of like like I dropped out of

1:09:44.560 --> 1:09:47.320
<v Speaker 5>school for a few years so that I could like focus.

1:09:47.000 --> 1:09:47.559
<v Speaker 2>On like.

1:09:49.080 --> 1:09:51.360
<v Speaker 5>Getting my shit together, and so like earlier when I

1:09:51.400 --> 1:09:53.320
<v Speaker 5>was saying, like, this is like the first time I've

1:09:53.400 --> 1:09:57.280
<v Speaker 5>kind of had stability, because I, like I've worked really

1:09:57.320 --> 1:10:00.599
<v Speaker 5>hard to get that sus stability, and you know, I've

1:10:00.600 --> 1:10:04.200
<v Speaker 5>got like my own place, my own job, got dog cat,

1:10:04.400 --> 1:10:08.439
<v Speaker 5>lovely little life, and now suddenly I'm in this place

1:10:08.439 --> 1:10:16.800
<v Speaker 5>of comfort and it's not so comfortable anymore. So it's

1:10:16.880 --> 1:10:19.720
<v Speaker 5>just like even even more frustrating to like put in

1:10:19.800 --> 1:10:22.040
<v Speaker 5>all that work to get to a spot where, like

1:10:22.280 --> 1:10:26.639
<v Speaker 5>I thought I wanted to be m h and it's

1:10:26.680 --> 1:10:31.719
<v Speaker 5>not not working out in the way that I had hoped.

1:10:34.280 --> 1:10:38.439
<v Speaker 2>So, I I guess, if we're learning this lesson again,

1:10:40.400 --> 1:10:43.439
<v Speaker 2>what does it what does it look like? Like? Like

1:10:45.120 --> 1:10:47.000
<v Speaker 2>so the I mean the place of stability that you've

1:10:47.000 --> 1:10:49.080
<v Speaker 2>been in for the past five years, Like, did you

1:10:49.080 --> 1:10:50.439
<v Speaker 2>have any qualms about it?

1:10:57.439 --> 1:11:00.640
<v Speaker 5>I don't know I'm no. I mean, I'm I'm like

1:11:00.720 --> 1:11:03.960
<v Speaker 5>overall pretty positive person. I try not to, you know,

1:11:06.920 --> 1:11:11.280
<v Speaker 5>I don't know. No, I mean, it's not no short

1:11:11.320 --> 1:11:11.720
<v Speaker 5>answer no.

1:11:12.479 --> 1:11:14.640
<v Speaker 2>Okay. So you liked your you liked your life, and

1:11:14.720 --> 1:11:16.599
<v Speaker 2>it was kind of so you liked your life as

1:11:16.600 --> 1:11:20.479
<v Speaker 2>it was, and then things happened to rock the boat.

1:11:22.280 --> 1:11:26.120
<v Speaker 5>Yeah yeah, so okay, I see what you're saying. Yeah.

1:11:26.160 --> 1:11:30.040
<v Speaker 5>I think, like, particularly with the relationship, it's not like

1:11:30.080 --> 1:11:36.920
<v Speaker 5>there's been like a dramatic change or anything that's like different.

1:11:36.960 --> 1:11:39.559
<v Speaker 5>It's just kind of, you know, I don't know if

1:11:39.560 --> 1:11:41.880
<v Speaker 5>you've been in like a I wouldn't even I don't

1:11:41.880 --> 1:11:43.960
<v Speaker 5>know if i'd called three years long term, but some.

1:11:43.960 --> 1:11:45.280
<v Speaker 2>People call three years long term.

1:11:46.160 --> 1:11:52.360
<v Speaker 5>Okay, But in like a longer term relationship, there's your issues,

1:11:52.439 --> 1:11:54.800
<v Speaker 5>You start to bickery, you start to argue, and then

1:11:54.840 --> 1:11:56.640
<v Speaker 5>it's your job to figure out how to not do

1:11:56.680 --> 1:12:01.320
<v Speaker 5>that if you want to, you know, be happy. So

1:12:02.520 --> 1:12:04.280
<v Speaker 5>I think it's just a lot of little things and

1:12:04.400 --> 1:12:08.320
<v Speaker 5>sort of slowly realizing that like the person I'm with,

1:12:08.400 --> 1:12:11.599
<v Speaker 5>even though I like I love them with my whole being,

1:12:14.040 --> 1:12:19.400
<v Speaker 5>it's just not supporting me in the ways that I like,

1:12:19.960 --> 1:12:23.439
<v Speaker 5>see myself needing support if we were to continue on

1:12:23.680 --> 1:12:25.600
<v Speaker 5>for however many years.

1:12:26.040 --> 1:12:32.280
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, well, I don't want to be all toxic positivity

1:12:32.320 --> 1:12:36.160
<v Speaker 2>on you. I don't because it sounds like this all

1:12:36.160 --> 1:12:41.960
<v Speaker 2>like happening kind of immediately. But I think the good

1:12:42.040 --> 1:12:44.160
<v Speaker 2>news and I really can only speak from like my

1:12:44.200 --> 1:12:47.599
<v Speaker 2>own personal life experiences that like in times in which

1:12:48.160 --> 1:12:54.680
<v Speaker 2>like there's been transitional periods and things have been uncertain

1:12:54.840 --> 1:13:00.559
<v Speaker 2>and foundations have been rocked. Uh, it's made. It's why

1:13:00.600 --> 1:13:07.439
<v Speaker 2>it sucks, it's it's really Yeah, it's really bad. But

1:13:09.120 --> 1:13:11.040
<v Speaker 2>at least in my life, I've always I've always found

1:13:11.120 --> 1:13:16.640
<v Speaker 2>my way to get back to something, and so I

1:13:16.680 --> 1:13:23.880
<v Speaker 2>feel pretty confident that it's possible that when the foundations

1:13:23.880 --> 1:13:25.800
<v Speaker 2>are rocked, that there's something on the other side of it.

1:13:25.920 --> 1:13:27.640
<v Speaker 2>So I think there's something on the other side of it.

1:13:27.640 --> 1:13:29.160
<v Speaker 2>It's basically what I'm trying to say, not to be

1:13:29.200 --> 1:13:32.320
<v Speaker 2>all toxic positivity about it. You know, there's a grief

1:13:32.400 --> 1:13:36.040
<v Speaker 2>to be grieved, but you know it's cool. I mean,

1:13:36.040 --> 1:13:40.679
<v Speaker 2>there'll be a new there's new people, there's new places,

1:13:40.720 --> 1:13:45.960
<v Speaker 2>there's new things to set up shop. Last I was

1:13:46.000 --> 1:13:49.840
<v Speaker 2>freaking out last night. I was thinking about uh, just

1:13:50.000 --> 1:13:52.000
<v Speaker 2>I get anxious, and I always think about ways in

1:13:52.040 --> 1:13:56.000
<v Speaker 2>which the foundations of my life could be rocked, and

1:13:56.040 --> 1:13:58.240
<v Speaker 2>then I think about ways in which I could fix them.

1:13:59.040 --> 1:14:02.120
<v Speaker 2>And then the day go by and at some point

1:14:02.160 --> 1:14:05.000
<v Speaker 2>I die. But until then, it's like, all right, We'll

1:14:05.000 --> 1:14:08.240
<v Speaker 2>be in whatever I am until I'm not in it anymore,

1:14:09.320 --> 1:14:09.559
<v Speaker 2>you know.

1:14:10.000 --> 1:14:10.519
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I don't.

1:14:10.960 --> 1:14:13.320
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it is helpful in any way shape or form.

1:14:13.400 --> 1:14:14.680
<v Speaker 2>Sounds like kind of nonsense.

1:14:14.479 --> 1:14:18.439
<v Speaker 5>No, I mean, no, absolutely, I'm definitely. I don't know.

1:14:18.600 --> 1:14:22.640
<v Speaker 5>I try to, you know, focus on my foundations that

1:14:22.680 --> 1:14:28.880
<v Speaker 5>are uh, I don't know. I think the people in

1:14:28.920 --> 1:14:31.160
<v Speaker 5>my life. I try to view more as like the

1:14:31.240 --> 1:14:33.679
<v Speaker 5>foundations of my life rather than like, you know, where

1:14:33.680 --> 1:14:36.600
<v Speaker 5>I live, what job I have. Yeah, of course, I

1:14:36.600 --> 1:14:39.400
<v Speaker 5>think like my family and my friends are just like

1:14:39.479 --> 1:14:41.639
<v Speaker 5>the most important and I, you know, I still get

1:14:41.680 --> 1:14:49.200
<v Speaker 5>those guys. So I'm not like, I'm not freaking out necessarily.

1:14:49.920 --> 1:14:52.839
<v Speaker 5>I just kind of know that this change is coming,

1:14:54.400 --> 1:14:58.200
<v Speaker 5>and I know it is going to probably suck for

1:14:58.280 --> 1:15:01.680
<v Speaker 5>a little bit. But I I'm confident that, you know,

1:15:02.600 --> 1:15:06.880
<v Speaker 5>I'm capable. I've you know, dug myself out of worseholes,

1:15:07.360 --> 1:15:13.599
<v Speaker 5>So I'm not I'm not worried about thinks that people

1:15:13.640 --> 1:15:14.759
<v Speaker 5>should be worried about.

1:15:15.400 --> 1:15:16.360
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, well take that out.

1:15:16.479 --> 1:15:16.719
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

1:15:16.800 --> 1:15:19.040
<v Speaker 2>And by the way, and by the way, you earned

1:15:19.080 --> 1:15:21.240
<v Speaker 2>you earned that, just so you know, you earned that ship,

1:15:21.880 --> 1:15:25.080
<v Speaker 2>you know, yeah, you are. You earned. The reason why,

1:15:25.120 --> 1:15:26.960
<v Speaker 2>the reason why you're not worried about things that people

1:15:27.000 --> 1:15:30.360
<v Speaker 2>should be worried about is because you earned through your

1:15:30.400 --> 1:15:35.280
<v Speaker 2>own actions and decisions throughout your life. You built yourself

1:15:35.320 --> 1:15:37.559
<v Speaker 2>into the kind of person that doesn't need to worry

1:15:37.560 --> 1:15:41.599
<v Speaker 2>about those things because you got it. So you whatever

1:15:41.720 --> 1:15:45.479
<v Speaker 2>confidence you have for the future, it's uh, it's don't

1:15:45.560 --> 1:15:48.120
<v Speaker 2>trick yourself into believing it's foolish. You know, it's something

1:15:48.160 --> 1:15:56.719
<v Speaker 2>you earned, or else you wouldn't have it. Yeah, that's

1:15:56.720 --> 1:16:03.200
<v Speaker 2>my that's my therapy, geckoing of that. What's your name again,

1:16:04.439 --> 1:16:13.320
<v Speaker 2>Deja Desia? Is there any other way in which I

1:16:13.320 --> 1:16:19.160
<v Speaker 2>can be helpful to this conversation? You know?

1:16:21.280 --> 1:16:25.639
<v Speaker 5>Not that not that I'm aware of. I know everyone

1:16:25.680 --> 1:16:27.680
<v Speaker 5>says this when they get on, but I'm a big fan.

1:16:27.840 --> 1:16:28.880
<v Speaker 5>Been listening for a while.

1:16:29.200 --> 1:16:30.360
<v Speaker 2>Thank you in Phoenix.

1:16:30.439 --> 1:16:32.840
<v Speaker 5>So this is oh talk to you?

1:16:32.920 --> 1:16:33.120
<v Speaker 1>Yeah?

1:16:33.160 --> 1:16:34.800
<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah? Did you were you at the one where

1:16:34.800 --> 1:16:37.639
<v Speaker 2>the guy hit someone with his car?

1:16:38.560 --> 1:16:39.640
<v Speaker 1>Oh?

1:16:40.040 --> 1:16:42.000
<v Speaker 5>Like actually or told a story about it.

1:16:43.680 --> 1:16:46.040
<v Speaker 2>Well, he told the story. He's told a story about it.

1:16:46.760 --> 1:16:48.800
<v Speaker 2>He didn't do it out in the parking lot or

1:16:48.840 --> 1:16:49.519
<v Speaker 2>anything like that.

1:16:50.720 --> 1:16:54.759
<v Speaker 5>I don't truly don't really remember. I was the most

1:16:54.920 --> 1:16:58.000
<v Speaker 5>recent one you were here for. I think there's like

1:16:58.240 --> 1:17:00.719
<v Speaker 5>a girl tired about her stepdad or something.

1:17:00.960 --> 1:17:02.439
<v Speaker 2>Okay, yeah, that sounds like it sounds good.

1:17:02.439 --> 1:17:04.320
<v Speaker 5>But I had a great time. Went with my brother.

1:17:04.360 --> 1:17:08.720
<v Speaker 2>It was fuck yeah, fuck yah. Is there anything else

1:17:08.720 --> 1:17:10.160
<v Speaker 2>you want to say to the people of the computer

1:17:10.240 --> 1:17:10.720
<v Speaker 2>before we go?

1:17:14.240 --> 1:17:17.800
<v Speaker 5>Oh, okay, I've thought about this. Actually, yeah, this might

1:17:17.800 --> 1:17:20.360
<v Speaker 5>be annoying. You don't have to do this, but I

1:17:20.439 --> 1:17:22.680
<v Speaker 5>just want you to know that that I think that

1:17:22.800 --> 1:17:25.280
<v Speaker 5>you would do a really good Jerry Seinfeld impression.

1:17:25.800 --> 1:17:26.240
<v Speaker 1>Ah.

1:17:26.400 --> 1:17:29.280
<v Speaker 5>Fuck, you don't have to do it, but I why

1:17:29.320 --> 1:17:30.120
<v Speaker 5>do you think about that?

1:17:30.479 --> 1:17:30.840
<v Speaker 3>Why do you?

1:17:31.080 --> 1:17:33.200
<v Speaker 2>Why do you? Why do you think I would do

1:17:33.240 --> 1:17:35.040
<v Speaker 2>a really good Jerry Seinfeld impression?

1:17:35.960 --> 1:17:39.080
<v Speaker 5>I don't know something about like when you're in the moment,

1:17:39.160 --> 1:17:42.360
<v Speaker 5>you get a little your voice raises in octave, and

1:17:42.439 --> 1:17:44.200
<v Speaker 5>I think that if you worked on it, you could

1:17:44.240 --> 1:17:45.120
<v Speaker 5>do a really good one.

1:17:50.040 --> 1:17:58.080
<v Speaker 2>Okay, all right, I'll okay, I'll think about that. I'll think, yeah, yeah,

1:17:58.120 --> 1:17:59.680
<v Speaker 2>thank you for letting me, Thank you for giving me

1:17:59.680 --> 1:18:03.120
<v Speaker 2>the com finance to know that I could potentially do something,

1:18:03.280 --> 1:18:04.879
<v Speaker 2>even if that thing is Jerry Seinfeld.

1:18:08.520 --> 1:18:09.120
<v Speaker 5>Anytime.

1:18:09.960 --> 1:18:23.560
<v Speaker 2>Have a good Endigen, all right, you two. No, I

1:18:23.560 --> 1:18:25.639
<v Speaker 2>don't think I'm gonna do it. I don't think i'm

1:18:25.640 --> 1:18:28.479
<v Speaker 2>gonna try. No, I don't think i'm gonna try. I

1:18:28.479 --> 1:18:33.080
<v Speaker 2>don't have a thing. So what does he say? What's

1:18:33.080 --> 1:18:38.160
<v Speaker 2>like one of his jokes? Does anyone know one of

1:18:38.200 --> 1:18:42.080
<v Speaker 2>his jokes? Maybe if I knew one of his No,

1:18:42.120 --> 1:18:46.760
<v Speaker 2>I don't know. I don't think I'm gonna do it. George,

1:18:46.920 --> 1:18:51.240
<v Speaker 2>all right, No, okay, let's end. We're gonna end the podcast. Hello, folks,

1:18:51.439 --> 1:18:54.760
<v Speaker 2>it's Lyle here. That's the end of this episode. But

1:18:54.920 --> 1:18:59.920
<v Speaker 2>get this, I'm releasing a bonus episode this week. That's right,

1:19:00.240 --> 1:19:04.400
<v Speaker 2>an entire extra hour of the podcast that you can

1:19:04.479 --> 1:19:08.720
<v Speaker 2>listen to By becoming a premium member of Therapy Gecko

1:19:08.760 --> 1:19:13.560
<v Speaker 2>over at therapy Gecko dot supercast dot com. Supercast subscribers

1:19:13.600 --> 1:19:17.080
<v Speaker 2>get access to bonus episodes, They get a completely ad

1:19:17.080 --> 1:19:20.680
<v Speaker 2>free podcast feed of the regular show, They get recordings

1:19:20.680 --> 1:19:24.040
<v Speaker 2>from my live shows members only streams, and they help

1:19:24.120 --> 1:19:27.880
<v Speaker 2>support my ability to continue doing this podcast. So here's

1:19:27.880 --> 1:19:31.960
<v Speaker 2>a clip from this week's members only bonus episode.

1:19:32.479 --> 1:19:35.840
<v Speaker 6>We went and looked at engagement rings, and then we

1:19:36.040 --> 1:19:38.200
<v Speaker 6>go to my mom's house and I mentioned that I'm

1:19:38.240 --> 1:19:41.120
<v Speaker 6>looking for engagement rings with her and we're talking about rings,

1:19:41.520 --> 1:19:43.880
<v Speaker 6>and then my mom was like, Oh, that reminds me,

1:19:45.160 --> 1:19:48.559
<v Speaker 6>and then she think that she continues to like go

1:19:48.640 --> 1:19:51.360
<v Speaker 6>on this probably a twenty and int of tangent about

1:19:52.080 --> 1:19:54.640
<v Speaker 6>now my ex just got married and she's been like

1:19:54.680 --> 1:19:58.960
<v Speaker 6>stocking my ex on Facebook and whatnot, still keeping up

1:19:58.960 --> 1:20:01.000
<v Speaker 6>with her. And I hadn't been with her for like

1:20:01.439 --> 1:20:04.439
<v Speaker 6>three or four years, and she was telling me all

1:20:04.439 --> 1:20:08.559
<v Speaker 6>about her wedding, all about their pictures and what their

1:20:08.640 --> 1:20:12.519
<v Speaker 6>venue looked like, and didn't even like bother to ask us,

1:20:12.560 --> 1:20:15.520
<v Speaker 6>like anything about our experience.

1:20:16.160 --> 1:20:17.280
<v Speaker 2>That's fucking crazy.

1:20:17.400 --> 1:20:18.960
<v Speaker 6>Good wild, It's fucking wild.

1:20:19.120 --> 1:20:22.040
<v Speaker 2>She taught you told you that's fucking crazy.

1:20:22.080 --> 1:20:22.200
<v Speaker 3>Bro.

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<v Speaker 2>You you revealed that you're getting married, and then your

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<v Speaker 2>mom was like, oh, that reminds me. I was stalking

1:20:28.200 --> 1:20:33.000
<v Speaker 2>your ex on Facebook about her wedding. That's fucking crazy.

1:20:33.280 --> 1:20:35.360
<v Speaker 2>If you want to hear this full conversation, you can

1:20:35.400 --> 1:20:38.439
<v Speaker 2>sign up to become a premium member at therapy Gecko

1:20:38.600 --> 1:20:42.439
<v Speaker 2>dot supercast dot com, or find the link in the

1:20:42.479 --> 1:20:48.240
<v Speaker 2>episode description. That's therapy Gecko dot supercast dot com. All right,

1:20:48.680 --> 1:20:53.200
<v Speaker 2>I have nothing else to say, goes on the line.

1:20:53.240 --> 1:20:59.559
<v Speaker 3>Taking every nine. Goes to teaching you in the interview line,

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<v Speaker 3>but he's not really an expert.