1 00:00:12,360 --> 00:00:16,759 Speaker 1: My guest today is the incredible Arianna Huffington's. Arianna is 2 00:00:16,800 --> 00:00:20,120 Speaker 1: the founder of the Huffington Post as well as a journalist, author, 3 00:00:20,160 --> 00:00:24,000 Speaker 1: and CEO of Thrive. Ariana launched Thrive in two thousand 4 00:00:24,079 --> 00:00:27,159 Speaker 1: sixteen as a behavioral tech company with the goal of 5 00:00:27,240 --> 00:00:31,560 Speaker 1: tackling workplace burnout. Today we talk about the importance of sleep, 6 00:00:31,720 --> 00:00:35,400 Speaker 1: whether work life balance is bs and habits that will 7 00:00:35,400 --> 00:00:38,199 Speaker 1: make you happier at home and at work. I know 8 00:00:38,240 --> 00:00:40,640 Speaker 1: a lot of us are feeling burned out. A recent 9 00:00:40,720 --> 00:00:45,800 Speaker 1: study found fifty of people surveyed reported feeling burned out 10 00:00:45,880 --> 00:00:48,080 Speaker 1: at work. Can't you relate to this? Oh my god. 11 00:00:48,360 --> 00:01:02,959 Speaker 1: If that's you, I know you'll find this conversation helpful. Enjoy. 12 00:01:04,600 --> 00:01:08,720 Speaker 1: I love that you asked this ahead of time. Yes, exactly. 13 00:01:08,760 --> 00:01:12,839 Speaker 1: We are both in them lingua franca suetz, I can't 14 00:01:12,880 --> 00:01:15,800 Speaker 1: see what does your say mine? When mine says who 15 00:01:15,880 --> 00:01:20,959 Speaker 1: run the world? Uh? Mine says onward, upward, in ward. 16 00:01:21,440 --> 00:01:23,760 Speaker 1: I like that. Oh my god, I like that. And 17 00:01:23,800 --> 00:01:26,640 Speaker 1: I like people who manage their time well, particularly someone 18 00:01:26,680 --> 00:01:29,919 Speaker 1: who's written books about sleep. So I wouldn't have started 19 00:01:29,959 --> 00:01:33,880 Speaker 1: with this, But let's talk about time and your relationship 20 00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:38,720 Speaker 1: to uh. Healthier otherwise than how it's changed over the years, 21 00:01:38,720 --> 00:01:40,760 Speaker 1: your relationship with time and how you manage it or 22 00:01:40,880 --> 00:01:43,360 Speaker 1: let it go, or what you view about your relationship 23 00:01:43,360 --> 00:01:46,440 Speaker 1: with time. Thank you so much. First of all, I'm 24 00:01:46,480 --> 00:01:50,560 Speaker 1: so happy to be here with you, and I love 25 00:01:50,640 --> 00:01:54,880 Speaker 1: this question because I feel that time is really the 26 00:01:54,920 --> 00:02:01,000 Speaker 1: only thing that we can choose beyond the obvious and 27 00:02:01,160 --> 00:02:04,640 Speaker 1: necessary things we all have to do how to spend it, 28 00:02:04,680 --> 00:02:09,400 Speaker 1: and time is our life, and the opportunity cost of 29 00:02:09,520 --> 00:02:13,800 Speaker 1: everything we're doing is enormous. You know, I started economics 30 00:02:13,840 --> 00:02:17,200 Speaker 1: at Cambridge and the only thing I remember is opportunity 31 00:02:17,240 --> 00:02:22,720 Speaker 1: cost and diminishing returns. Opportunity costs. Anytime you choose to 32 00:02:22,760 --> 00:02:28,880 Speaker 1: do something, you are saying no to something else, whether 33 00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:36,800 Speaker 1: it is sleep, resting, recharging, being with people you love, anything, 34 00:02:37,919 --> 00:02:40,560 Speaker 1: So that's important. The other thing is the concept of 35 00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:44,000 Speaker 1: diminishing returns, which also has to do with time, because 36 00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:49,520 Speaker 1: we were brought up thinking that if we work longer, 37 00:02:50,680 --> 00:02:53,240 Speaker 1: we're going to be better at what we're doing, but 38 00:02:53,400 --> 00:03:00,240 Speaker 1: in fact there is their diminishing returns, and working longer 39 00:03:00,360 --> 00:03:04,799 Speaker 1: it's not working smarter, is no more productive or more effective. 40 00:03:05,800 --> 00:03:10,920 Speaker 1: But what if people don't work for money or that, 41 00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:14,720 Speaker 1: or aren't goal oriented. They just are people who work, 42 00:03:14,840 --> 00:03:17,680 Speaker 1: meaning that's sort of a hobby to they enjoy it. 43 00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:21,200 Speaker 1: They enjoyed doing something, whether it's gardening with obsession, or 44 00:03:21,280 --> 00:03:26,480 Speaker 1: cooking or uh anything that they just like researching that 45 00:03:26,520 --> 00:03:30,079 Speaker 1: a person has that personality where it's sort of always on, 46 00:03:30,400 --> 00:03:33,360 Speaker 1: and no matter how many times they try to meditate 47 00:03:33,480 --> 00:03:35,560 Speaker 1: or try to do what society wants them to do 48 00:03:35,600 --> 00:03:39,400 Speaker 1: about that, they still are That is that wrong? I mean, 49 00:03:39,440 --> 00:03:42,760 Speaker 1: how does someone determine what the truth is? There's nothing 50 00:03:42,800 --> 00:03:46,480 Speaker 1: wrong about any of that. I'm one of the people 51 00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:49,680 Speaker 1: who absolutely loves what I'm doing. You know, I could 52 00:03:49,720 --> 00:03:55,880 Speaker 1: have retired many many times. I launched the Huffington Post 53 00:03:55,960 --> 00:04:00,560 Speaker 1: at fifty five and Thrive at sixty six when many 54 00:04:00,600 --> 00:04:07,040 Speaker 1: people retire. So um, I find that when I take 55 00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:11,480 Speaker 1: care of myself, when I'm fully recharged, I just bring 56 00:04:11,640 --> 00:04:15,280 Speaker 1: so much joy into what I'm doing. Yes, when I'm 57 00:04:15,320 --> 00:04:18,840 Speaker 1: exhausted and depleted and burned out, even if I'm doing 58 00:04:18,880 --> 00:04:21,920 Speaker 1: the my favorite thing in the world or having dinner 59 00:04:21,960 --> 00:04:27,840 Speaker 1: with my favorite people, I'm depleted. Yes, bring my full 60 00:04:27,960 --> 00:04:31,680 Speaker 1: self to work. I love that because I think that 61 00:04:31,800 --> 00:04:34,920 Speaker 1: I always say that the best ideas come between sleep 62 00:04:34,960 --> 00:04:38,520 Speaker 1: and weak, and that while everybody wants to grind, I 63 00:04:38,560 --> 00:04:42,640 Speaker 1: think that creativity doesn't come forth when everything is so crowded. 64 00:04:42,680 --> 00:04:43,719 Speaker 1: I have to do this, I have to do that. 65 00:04:43,760 --> 00:04:46,359 Speaker 1: I'm thinking about this, I'm working on this versus just 66 00:04:46,440 --> 00:04:48,760 Speaker 1: letting it breathe. It's like a wine that needs to 67 00:04:48,920 --> 00:04:53,960 Speaker 1: breathe in order to reach its full potential. Absolutely. In fact, 68 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:57,480 Speaker 1: do we have so much data on that? You know, 69 00:04:57,680 --> 00:05:00,680 Speaker 1: people having their best ideas in the show, Oh well, 70 00:05:00,680 --> 00:05:05,520 Speaker 1: while they're fly fishing or gardening or knitting or or 71 00:05:05,560 --> 00:05:12,160 Speaker 1: whatever they're doing that doesn't and fully engage their brain 72 00:05:12,839 --> 00:05:16,640 Speaker 1: when they are not operating from that pretty frontal cortex. 73 00:05:18,080 --> 00:05:22,400 Speaker 1: So your scientific and research based So how so all 74 00:05:22,440 --> 00:05:24,840 Speaker 1: of that is sort of working. So how do you 75 00:05:26,120 --> 00:05:29,000 Speaker 1: because you're an expert on this, So if you're stressed 76 00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:31,160 Speaker 1: out and you're overwhelmed, do you feel like, well, I'm 77 00:05:31,160 --> 00:05:33,760 Speaker 1: not even doing what I'm supposed to be doing because 78 00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:37,159 Speaker 1: I'm so proactive and I'm so you know, you must 79 00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:40,159 Speaker 1: be some level of a perfectionist and some level of 80 00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:43,880 Speaker 1: type A to have gotten here this way. So how 81 00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:48,000 Speaker 1: what is your style? Your work style, your attempt at 82 00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:52,680 Speaker 1: balance style all that whole genre. Well, you know you, 83 00:05:52,760 --> 00:05:56,240 Speaker 1: and I decided to wear a lingua franca sweaters and 84 00:05:56,320 --> 00:05:59,880 Speaker 1: I'm wearing the motto for my life and for thry 85 00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:05,840 Speaker 1: it on my sweater Onward Upward, inward. I'm definitely Taipei. 86 00:06:06,160 --> 00:06:10,800 Speaker 1: I'm definitely onward and upward, and I'm definitely about results 87 00:06:10,839 --> 00:06:16,640 Speaker 1: and achievement. But I have learned that life is shaped 88 00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:22,360 Speaker 1: from the inside out, and for a large part of 89 00:06:22,400 --> 00:06:26,119 Speaker 1: my life I didn't pay importance to the inward part 90 00:06:27,040 --> 00:06:31,200 Speaker 1: until I collapsed two years into building the Huffington Post 91 00:06:31,240 --> 00:06:33,159 Speaker 1: and hit my head on my desk and broke my 92 00:06:33,240 --> 00:06:37,200 Speaker 1: chicken bones. So I actually paid a heavy price for 93 00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:43,120 Speaker 1: not including the inward and now that I have included it, 94 00:06:43,480 --> 00:06:47,680 Speaker 1: and I've seen how transformational is the but it has 95 00:06:47,720 --> 00:06:51,320 Speaker 1: in life. But I'm completely a work in progress. I 96 00:06:51,480 --> 00:06:54,560 Speaker 1: never have any expectation that I'm going to do this 97 00:06:54,720 --> 00:06:58,280 Speaker 1: journey perfectly. And one of the things I gave up 98 00:06:58,320 --> 00:07:01,760 Speaker 1: in my life is perfection is my When I when 99 00:07:01,760 --> 00:07:06,640 Speaker 1: I was forty, i am did an exercise which I 100 00:07:06,720 --> 00:07:09,840 Speaker 1: highly recommend to everyone, which is I made a list 101 00:07:09,880 --> 00:07:13,560 Speaker 1: of projects that that we're on my kind of legue 102 00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:16,160 Speaker 1: to do list you know how we think I'm going 103 00:07:16,240 --> 00:07:19,720 Speaker 1: to become a good skier, and I'm going to learn German, 104 00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:24,240 Speaker 1: and I'm going to learn to cook. And I decided 105 00:07:24,280 --> 00:07:27,960 Speaker 1: that you can complete a project by dropping it. So 106 00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:32,680 Speaker 1: I just dropped these projects. I realized how I realized, Yes, 107 00:07:32,720 --> 00:07:36,840 Speaker 1: it would be great to be a good scire, but realistically, 108 00:07:37,240 --> 00:07:40,120 Speaker 1: I'm never going to put the amount of time and 109 00:07:40,440 --> 00:07:43,120 Speaker 1: energy to become a good scare. So why have you 110 00:07:43,280 --> 00:07:46,800 Speaker 1: at the back of my mind drawing energy? That's interesting? 111 00:07:46,840 --> 00:07:50,640 Speaker 1: I like that. I it's funny because I have talked 112 00:07:50,640 --> 00:07:54,679 Speaker 1: about fewer buckets full. How you know, whether it's social 113 00:07:54,720 --> 00:07:57,000 Speaker 1: engagements or work. We say yes, and you put it 114 00:07:57,040 --> 00:07:59,160 Speaker 1: on the calendar. It's just a pen to the paper. 115 00:07:59,240 --> 00:08:01,800 Speaker 1: You don't think about at it, and we get drained. 116 00:08:02,280 --> 00:08:04,480 Speaker 1: And so I I say that I think that we 117 00:08:04,480 --> 00:08:07,640 Speaker 1: have to choose the things that have an emotional, spiritual 118 00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:10,280 Speaker 1: or financial r O. I you know, what's going to 119 00:08:10,280 --> 00:08:12,280 Speaker 1: give me the return of my investment and sort of 120 00:08:12,320 --> 00:08:16,760 Speaker 1: what I'm I'd rather have four buckets full than twelve 121 00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:18,600 Speaker 1: a third fall if that math is right, you know 122 00:08:18,640 --> 00:08:20,920 Speaker 1: what I mean? Like, I'd rather just focus on So 123 00:08:20,960 --> 00:08:24,160 Speaker 1: that's effectively what you're saying. And I love that because 124 00:08:24,160 --> 00:08:28,160 Speaker 1: it means letting some things go and just focusing on 125 00:08:28,160 --> 00:08:30,840 Speaker 1: only what you love or you just can't turn down 126 00:08:30,920 --> 00:08:33,720 Speaker 1: for financial reasons, or you have to do it, or 127 00:08:33,800 --> 00:08:40,960 Speaker 1: it's giving you a philanthropic uh reward. I love that exactly. 128 00:08:40,960 --> 00:08:45,400 Speaker 1: And that's connected to your first question about time, because 129 00:08:45,760 --> 00:08:49,600 Speaker 1: suddenly you have time available and not everything is so 130 00:08:49,800 --> 00:08:53,920 Speaker 1: crunched up? Right? Do you like the nothing of the time, 131 00:08:54,040 --> 00:08:57,120 Speaker 1: just like doing nothing, not not meaning you're replacing that 132 00:08:57,160 --> 00:08:59,840 Speaker 1: with some other meaningful thing like yoga and meditation, but 133 00:09:00,280 --> 00:09:06,240 Speaker 1: like zero. Well, I love feeling that time with walks 134 00:09:06,320 --> 00:09:11,600 Speaker 1: on our hikes, are being with friends, are breathing and 135 00:09:11,679 --> 00:09:18,160 Speaker 1: meditating and um you know, taking that hand. That Buddhist 136 00:09:19,280 --> 00:09:23,120 Speaker 1: spiritual teacher who died recently said it's never been easier 137 00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:30,320 Speaker 1: to run away from ourselves. So because of social media 138 00:09:30,559 --> 00:09:35,760 Speaker 1: and our phones, we almost never do nothing. Like if 139 00:09:35,800 --> 00:09:38,800 Speaker 1: I was having lunch with you and you're five minutes late, 140 00:09:41,440 --> 00:09:48,240 Speaker 1: I would go to my phone instead of sitting there breathing, thinking, 141 00:09:49,280 --> 00:09:55,640 Speaker 1: um whatever, like and and that's something which I'm definitely 142 00:09:55,640 --> 00:10:00,679 Speaker 1: working on myself. And to just take this few minutes 143 00:10:00,760 --> 00:10:04,640 Speaker 1: to just be I that is such a problem that 144 00:10:04,720 --> 00:10:08,920 Speaker 1: needs to be solved because your baby sat by your phone. 145 00:10:08,960 --> 00:10:12,080 Speaker 1: Your baby sitting your phone, we could do so much 146 00:10:12,120 --> 00:10:13,920 Speaker 1: because of the phone. I don't have an office that 147 00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:15,040 Speaker 1: I go. I mean I have it, you know, I 148 00:10:15,080 --> 00:10:17,160 Speaker 1: work from home. I have a separate structure that my 149 00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:19,320 Speaker 1: staff works in. We call it the wee work. But 150 00:10:19,880 --> 00:10:22,160 Speaker 1: you just don't need to do any you know. It's 151 00:10:22,160 --> 00:10:25,240 Speaker 1: a crutch. It's it's actually and it used to be 152 00:10:25,240 --> 00:10:27,240 Speaker 1: better when we were on airplanes and you couldn't use 153 00:10:27,280 --> 00:10:30,200 Speaker 1: them because you can't. It's like a hit. You take 154 00:10:30,240 --> 00:10:32,480 Speaker 1: the hit, you get the you get the WiFi, and 155 00:10:32,520 --> 00:10:36,439 Speaker 1: you take the hit that you should probably avoid. Yes, 156 00:10:36,520 --> 00:10:40,040 Speaker 1: and that's something which we're doing a lot about a drive, 157 00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:45,360 Speaker 1: you know, one of the six journeys that for us 158 00:10:45,720 --> 00:10:52,559 Speaker 1: lead to a complete and whole life a sleep, food, movement, money, 159 00:10:53,640 --> 00:10:57,439 Speaker 1: and connection. The sixth one is focus. How can we 160 00:10:58,320 --> 00:11:06,640 Speaker 1: and manage and the onslaught of news, information, notifications? And 161 00:11:06,679 --> 00:11:10,920 Speaker 1: how can we set boundaries? And our philosophy is that 162 00:11:10,960 --> 00:11:14,640 Speaker 1: you can only do that through microsteps, you know, tiny 163 00:11:14,720 --> 00:11:18,600 Speaker 1: daily incremental steps. So we have hundreds of them. One 164 00:11:18,640 --> 00:11:23,480 Speaker 1: of my favorites here is too set boundaries at night, 165 00:11:24,559 --> 00:11:27,800 Speaker 1: like picker time, whatever time it is that you declare, 166 00:11:27,880 --> 00:11:31,000 Speaker 1: this is the end of my work, This is the 167 00:11:31,120 --> 00:11:34,280 Speaker 1: end of my doom scrawling the news. Yes, it is 168 00:11:34,400 --> 00:11:38,920 Speaker 1: the end of scrawling on Instagram or TikTok. And I 169 00:11:39,160 --> 00:11:42,360 Speaker 1: mark that end by turning off my phone and charging 170 00:11:42,400 --> 00:11:45,400 Speaker 1: it outside my bedroom. It's a great thing, and I've 171 00:11:45,400 --> 00:11:47,959 Speaker 1: done it and I've broken it, and you're correct, I'm 172 00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:50,760 Speaker 1: doing And that's a great one because it's so easy. 173 00:11:51,120 --> 00:11:53,920 Speaker 1: And let's pretend you couldn't sleep on night. Okay, so 174 00:11:53,960 --> 00:11:57,840 Speaker 1: you can't sleep, do something else. Read physical books. I 175 00:11:57,880 --> 00:12:01,680 Speaker 1: have a pile of physical books on my nightstand that 176 00:12:01,800 --> 00:12:06,679 Speaker 1: have absolutely nothing to do with work, you know, novels 177 00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:11,120 Speaker 1: and poetry and philosophy. And if I can't sleep, I 178 00:12:11,240 --> 00:12:14,720 Speaker 1: will play one of them. And I have a small 179 00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:21,439 Speaker 1: iPad that has nothing but spiritual meditation, sleep meditations, nothing else, though, 180 00:12:23,600 --> 00:12:26,760 Speaker 1: glat I'm not going to get hooked and start looking 181 00:12:27,720 --> 00:12:31,200 Speaker 1: at my texts or my social media. And you know, 182 00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:36,600 Speaker 1: we all have a lot of will power, and I 183 00:12:36,640 --> 00:12:41,200 Speaker 1: don't trust my way power. I don't trust myself. I 184 00:12:41,240 --> 00:12:44,240 Speaker 1: don't I'm very disciplined. You are very disciplined. I don't 185 00:12:44,240 --> 00:12:48,079 Speaker 1: trust myself. I don't want It's like it's I feel 186 00:12:48,080 --> 00:12:51,439 Speaker 1: like I'm an alcoholic, and if alic, I can't say, oh, 187 00:12:51,480 --> 00:12:55,880 Speaker 1: you know, I'm I'm so disciplined. No, I don't want 188 00:12:55,880 --> 00:12:59,240 Speaker 1: a bottle of wine in front of me. Well, you 189 00:12:59,280 --> 00:13:01,480 Speaker 1: can remove and you can't remove food which you have 190 00:13:01,520 --> 00:13:03,599 Speaker 1: to eat every day, and you can't remove this technology 191 00:13:03,600 --> 00:13:05,760 Speaker 1: and these messages. You're right, So this is the hardest thing. 192 00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:08,199 Speaker 1: I love that you just are in this space talking 193 00:13:08,240 --> 00:13:10,120 Speaker 1: about this. We dabble in it, we talked about it, 194 00:13:10,160 --> 00:13:12,280 Speaker 1: but you live in it, and I think it's just 195 00:13:12,360 --> 00:13:16,800 Speaker 1: so helpful. And you made you know, you've you've been 196 00:13:17,040 --> 00:13:23,160 Speaker 1: UM vocal and involved in politics and women's issues, and 197 00:13:23,200 --> 00:13:27,680 Speaker 1: then you're into UM wellness. So what are you most 198 00:13:27,720 --> 00:13:29,320 Speaker 1: focused on now? And how would you if you were 199 00:13:29,320 --> 00:13:31,280 Speaker 1: sitting next to someone and they asked you what you 200 00:13:31,360 --> 00:13:33,080 Speaker 1: do for a living or who you are and they 201 00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:36,840 Speaker 1: didn't know, how would you describe your journey, your life, 202 00:13:36,920 --> 00:13:45,640 Speaker 1: your career. I'm one thousand percent dedicated to Thrive, the 203 00:13:45,760 --> 00:13:51,360 Speaker 1: company I launched in twenties sixteen that works with dozens 204 00:13:51,360 --> 00:13:56,000 Speaker 1: of companies around the world to improve the well being 205 00:13:56,320 --> 00:14:01,200 Speaker 1: and mental health of their employees. The mis statement is 206 00:14:01,440 --> 00:14:05,880 Speaker 1: um our goal is to end the stress and burnout epidemic. 207 00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:09,080 Speaker 1: That was our mission statement in twenty sixteen, where not 208 00:14:09,200 --> 00:14:13,000 Speaker 1: a lot of people talked about burnout. Now burnout has 209 00:14:13,080 --> 00:14:16,480 Speaker 1: moved to the top of the agenda and we are 210 00:14:16,520 --> 00:14:24,520 Speaker 1: working with them millions of employees and I have I 211 00:14:24,560 --> 00:14:27,440 Speaker 1: feel so blessed to be able to have an impact 212 00:14:27,560 --> 00:14:30,880 Speaker 1: on so many people's lives, that to be able to 213 00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:37,200 Speaker 1: reduce their stress and and when you reduce stress and 214 00:14:37,200 --> 00:14:41,800 Speaker 1: and avoid burnout, you improve health, you improve productivity, you 215 00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:46,760 Speaker 1: improve the quality of life. And among all the journeys 216 00:14:46,800 --> 00:14:49,360 Speaker 1: that I mentioned earlier that are in our up and 217 00:14:49,480 --> 00:14:53,200 Speaker 1: on the web and whoever people are like, if you're 218 00:14:53,240 --> 00:14:55,440 Speaker 1: on Slack, we can bring them to you on Slack, 219 00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:58,080 Speaker 1: If you're on teams or web bags, we can bring 220 00:14:58,160 --> 00:15:02,640 Speaker 1: them to you there. One of my favorite features in 221 00:15:02,680 --> 00:15:07,240 Speaker 1: our product is a sixty second reset. I so love 222 00:15:07,360 --> 00:15:10,720 Speaker 1: that because it's based on the latest neuroscience that it 223 00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:15,560 Speaker 1: takes sixty to ninety seconds to course correct from stress. Wow, 224 00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:21,680 Speaker 1: that's amazing. So stress is unavoidable, but cumulative stress, which 225 00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:28,160 Speaker 1: is the killer, is avoidable. So bringing reset into people's 226 00:15:28,240 --> 00:15:33,120 Speaker 1: lives is such a big priority for me, Bethany, because 227 00:15:33,560 --> 00:15:36,240 Speaker 1: as you said earlier, you know, if you tell somebody 228 00:15:36,240 --> 00:15:39,200 Speaker 1: you know your stress take twenty minutes to meditate, they 229 00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:43,800 Speaker 1: may roll the rise and they're not going to do it. 230 00:15:43,760 --> 00:15:47,360 Speaker 1: It's digestible. Yeah, if you tell them you're stressed, can 231 00:15:47,520 --> 00:15:50,680 Speaker 1: you are up? And he certainly are up. Is not 232 00:15:50,880 --> 00:15:54,960 Speaker 1: consumer facing, so please don't look for it. But if 233 00:15:54,960 --> 00:15:57,800 Speaker 1: you're in a company that has brought in thrive like 234 00:15:57,920 --> 00:16:02,840 Speaker 1: Fighter or Accentu or Sales for are dozens of others. 235 00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:09,840 Speaker 1: You can download resets, hundreds of them and they remind 236 00:16:09,880 --> 00:16:13,320 Speaker 1: you to take conscious deep breaths for sixty seconds, or 237 00:16:13,480 --> 00:16:17,040 Speaker 1: remind yourself of what you're grateful for, which is an 238 00:16:17,080 --> 00:16:20,800 Speaker 1: antidot to stress and anxiety, or simply get up and 239 00:16:20,840 --> 00:16:26,320 Speaker 1: stretch and the impact is amazing. And my favorite things 240 00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:31,040 Speaker 1: that you can create your own personalized reset. Who thinks 241 00:16:31,080 --> 00:16:47,160 Speaker 1: that give you joy? I love this. I want to 242 00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:53,520 Speaker 1: ask you about the overused term or underused term work 243 00:16:53,600 --> 00:16:58,280 Speaker 1: life balance. And so many people are going through this 244 00:16:58,360 --> 00:17:01,560 Speaker 1: with the pandemic right now, so post pandemic or semi 245 00:17:01,560 --> 00:17:06,399 Speaker 1: post pandemic from both sides, from from employers. I'm hearing 246 00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:09,679 Speaker 1: from that they're saying, you know, I feel that in 247 00:17:09,760 --> 00:17:13,440 Speaker 1: person is very important because you're connecting, you're talking, you're 248 00:17:13,440 --> 00:17:15,720 Speaker 1: not you know, someone's not home just laying in a 249 00:17:15,720 --> 00:17:21,200 Speaker 1: couch versus sitting in a structured, dressed environment. Um, it's 250 00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:24,040 Speaker 1: become we can't unkno that you don't have to be 251 00:17:24,119 --> 00:17:26,720 Speaker 1: in person to get things done. So now that's something 252 00:17:26,720 --> 00:17:29,560 Speaker 1: that's out there. And I was talking to a CEO 253 00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:32,280 Speaker 1: of a major company yesterday and he said to me, 254 00:17:33,359 --> 00:17:35,320 Speaker 1: you know, we have to be happy too, meaning we're 255 00:17:35,359 --> 00:17:38,800 Speaker 1: so we've gone so much in one direction to make 256 00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:41,760 Speaker 1: employees happy, like it was the Jeffrey Katzenberg if you 257 00:17:41,920 --> 00:17:44,320 Speaker 1: if you don't come in on Saturday, don't bother coming 258 00:17:44,359 --> 00:17:47,000 Speaker 1: in on Sunday, that comment that was explosive years ago. 259 00:17:47,359 --> 00:17:50,320 Speaker 1: So the pendulum has swung. And now I'm speaking to 260 00:17:50,359 --> 00:17:53,280 Speaker 1: CEOs who are saying it has to work for us too. 261 00:17:53,880 --> 00:17:56,000 Speaker 1: So you're trying to bend over backwards to create a 262 00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:59,600 Speaker 1: work life balance. But then we all we don't know. 263 00:17:59,720 --> 00:18:02,119 Speaker 1: You don't know what's right, what's wrong, what's balanced. You 264 00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:03,680 Speaker 1: can't go back to what it was or the way 265 00:18:03,680 --> 00:18:05,800 Speaker 1: that we came up. You and I came up and 266 00:18:05,840 --> 00:18:10,440 Speaker 1: burn out nation. So where is the where's the real line, 267 00:18:10,440 --> 00:18:14,920 Speaker 1: where's the real balance for employers and employees. I actually 268 00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:18,120 Speaker 1: don't like the term work life balance. I think it's 269 00:18:18,160 --> 00:18:24,560 Speaker 1: completely unrealistic. Um we use the term work life integration, 270 00:18:24,720 --> 00:18:28,280 Speaker 1: work life harmony, work life band, whatever you want to use. 271 00:18:28,720 --> 00:18:33,680 Speaker 1: There's never a day or a week when you're when 272 00:18:33,720 --> 00:18:38,119 Speaker 1: you can balance work and life, you know the days 273 00:18:38,280 --> 00:18:41,680 Speaker 1: I mean. We launched a mental health Pledge and over 274 00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:46,840 Speaker 1: eighty companies signed it to commit not to cut down 275 00:18:46,880 --> 00:18:50,320 Speaker 1: on mental health and well being offerings. We launched it 276 00:18:50,320 --> 00:18:52,240 Speaker 1: in a week with a full page out in the 277 00:18:52,280 --> 00:18:55,879 Speaker 1: New York Times. We all worked very hard, we worked weekends. 278 00:18:57,920 --> 00:19:00,880 Speaker 1: We we loved it, you know, we got tremendous joy 279 00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:03,960 Speaker 1: from seeing it come to life. But there was no balance. 280 00:19:05,480 --> 00:19:09,240 Speaker 1: You know. Then, I'm I'm going home to New York 281 00:19:09,240 --> 00:19:12,679 Speaker 1: on Tuesday. I'm spending time with my daughters. That won't 282 00:19:12,680 --> 00:19:18,399 Speaker 1: be balanced because that's for a while. So that's my priority. 283 00:19:18,560 --> 00:19:23,760 Speaker 1: So in terms of working from home, as you said, 284 00:19:23,880 --> 00:19:26,960 Speaker 1: I love that phrase. I wrote. I wrote it down, Bethani, 285 00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:29,639 Speaker 1: and I'm going to use it and get it. We 286 00:19:29,800 --> 00:19:34,879 Speaker 1: cannot un we cannot unkn you know what we know, 287 00:19:35,280 --> 00:19:37,360 Speaker 1: which is you don't have to be in the office 288 00:19:37,440 --> 00:19:43,720 Speaker 1: to work. We cannot know that. But also and we 289 00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:48,119 Speaker 1: need to realize that when we are together, there is 290 00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:52,760 Speaker 1: amazing stuff that happens. There is that we build social capital, 291 00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:57,280 Speaker 1: we collaborate. So we need to be much more intentional 292 00:19:58,480 --> 00:20:03,080 Speaker 1: about building about that that social capital, about finding ways 293 00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:07,119 Speaker 1: to collaborate which don't involve you have to be in 294 00:20:07,119 --> 00:20:10,280 Speaker 1: the office for five days a week. You're saying the 295 00:20:10,320 --> 00:20:12,680 Speaker 1: same thing you said before. You're saying, how are we 296 00:20:12,760 --> 00:20:16,320 Speaker 1: using that time? So when we are together, it's the 297 00:20:16,359 --> 00:20:18,040 Speaker 1: same thing you were saying before. How are you using 298 00:20:18,040 --> 00:20:20,879 Speaker 1: that week when you launch? How you're using the week after? 299 00:20:21,440 --> 00:20:24,440 Speaker 1: So how you know what I mean? Like the doom scrolling, 300 00:20:24,760 --> 00:20:27,919 Speaker 1: the online shopping, that's just like a brain suck of 301 00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:31,919 Speaker 1: your energy. That's not That's neither social building social capital 302 00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:35,320 Speaker 1: with people you work with, nor laying like a vegetable 303 00:20:35,320 --> 00:20:37,119 Speaker 1: relaxing because that's what you like to do. It's just 304 00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:43,159 Speaker 1: a weird purgatory of of of unfulfilling activity exactly. And 305 00:20:43,240 --> 00:20:46,680 Speaker 1: you know you can be in the office and be 306 00:20:46,800 --> 00:20:50,960 Speaker 1: scrawling Instagram and TikTok. It's not if you're frustrated or 307 00:20:51,160 --> 00:20:55,360 Speaker 1: is entful and you're not happy. I don't know how 308 00:20:55,400 --> 00:20:57,920 Speaker 1: that is good for the employer. I mean, I think 309 00:20:57,960 --> 00:21:02,640 Speaker 1: people need to have choices, and and obviously let's let 310 00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:06,239 Speaker 1: us just stress the fact that some people don't have 311 00:21:06,320 --> 00:21:08,679 Speaker 1: choices because they need to make a living in a 312 00:21:08,720 --> 00:21:12,280 Speaker 1: particular industry. And we are talking from the point of 313 00:21:12,359 --> 00:21:16,159 Speaker 1: view of people who have been privileged to be able 314 00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:20,320 Speaker 1: to work from home during a pandemic. The majority of 315 00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:23,640 Speaker 1: people in the world have not been able to do that. 316 00:21:23,720 --> 00:21:27,840 Speaker 1: But I know, and now we work with Walmart. They 317 00:21:27,840 --> 00:21:30,960 Speaker 1: have two point two million associate as they called them. 318 00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:34,680 Speaker 1: The vast majority had to go to the store every day, right, 319 00:21:35,480 --> 00:21:39,960 Speaker 1: So I think when we have this conversation, we need 320 00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:45,240 Speaker 1: to be very cognizant of this double reality in the world. Totally. 321 00:21:46,760 --> 00:21:51,600 Speaker 1: It's an elitest conversation in a way. Yeah, absolutely, that's 322 00:21:51,600 --> 00:21:54,520 Speaker 1: absolutely true. That's so interesting. Or people couldn't work it 323 00:21:54,600 --> 00:22:00,000 Speaker 1: all their businesses is dissolved. So that's another layer that's interesting. Um. 324 00:22:00,160 --> 00:22:04,439 Speaker 1: You you undeniably love to solve problems. You like to 325 00:22:04,960 --> 00:22:07,080 Speaker 1: think about the human condition, you want to do something 326 00:22:07,080 --> 00:22:09,960 Speaker 1: about it, you like to take action. Do you think 327 00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:15,760 Speaker 1: you'll get into politics in the future. Oh God, no, God, no, okay, yeah, 328 00:22:15,800 --> 00:22:17,600 Speaker 1: because people ask me that, and I think it sounds 329 00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:21,280 Speaker 1: like a disaster. I just because you'll be shackled, shackled 330 00:22:21,280 --> 00:22:24,680 Speaker 1: and having a kiss babies all day. No, it's it's 331 00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:30,240 Speaker 1: never even crossed my mind. I I feel truly blessed 332 00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:33,040 Speaker 1: to be doing what I'm doing. I have no plans 333 00:22:33,119 --> 00:22:35,359 Speaker 1: to do anything else except I'm going to be a 334 00:22:35,400 --> 00:22:41,080 Speaker 1: grandmother in August. I'm very excited about that. So I 335 00:22:41,119 --> 00:22:44,600 Speaker 1: think it's it's so great to be able to have 336 00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:48,200 Speaker 1: reached the point where I love what I'm doing. I've 337 00:22:48,240 --> 00:22:52,320 Speaker 1: built a fantastic team. We doubled our team during the pandemic. 338 00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:57,480 Speaker 1: I'm looking forward to meeting a lot of them that 339 00:22:57,520 --> 00:23:03,240 Speaker 1: I've hired without meeting, and then to continue to to 340 00:23:03,400 --> 00:23:07,080 Speaker 1: have a real important people's lives and learn, continue to learn. 341 00:23:07,320 --> 00:23:11,520 Speaker 1: I think I'm a lifelong learner like you are, so 342 00:23:13,119 --> 00:23:17,040 Speaker 1: reading and talking to people who have different viewpoints on 343 00:23:17,240 --> 00:23:21,679 Speaker 1: exactly what you called the human condition, especially during a 344 00:23:21,800 --> 00:23:25,399 Speaker 1: time when a lot of these existential questions about what 345 00:23:25,680 --> 00:23:28,879 Speaker 1: is a good life are so key. You know, because 346 00:23:28,920 --> 00:23:30,960 Speaker 1: you and I talked at the time when I wrote 347 00:23:31,000 --> 00:23:36,879 Speaker 1: my book Thrive and then the book was about redefining 348 00:23:36,960 --> 00:23:44,280 Speaker 1: success to move beyond just money, powers lash status, to 349 00:23:44,400 --> 00:23:48,600 Speaker 1: include well being and health, to include giving, to include 350 00:23:48,640 --> 00:23:52,399 Speaker 1: a sense of wonder about life, so being able to 351 00:23:52,480 --> 00:23:58,919 Speaker 1: practice that and also help other people connect with that 352 00:23:59,080 --> 00:24:03,280 Speaker 1: part in themselves. This is a real gift have you made. 353 00:24:04,280 --> 00:24:08,120 Speaker 1: Do you have any glaring mistakes in parenting that you've had, 354 00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:11,840 Speaker 1: or any regrets in being so busy, any relationship to 355 00:24:11,920 --> 00:24:16,040 Speaker 1: guilt with having grazing two daughters, wild building an empire, 356 00:24:16,520 --> 00:24:18,800 Speaker 1: because I know we all go through that. And Wall 357 00:24:18,880 --> 00:24:21,359 Speaker 1: Street Journal reporter once told me never to apologize to 358 00:24:21,400 --> 00:24:24,359 Speaker 1: your kids about working, which stuck with me forever. I 359 00:24:24,359 --> 00:24:26,000 Speaker 1: didn't even have a child, but for some reason it 360 00:24:26,080 --> 00:24:30,520 Speaker 1: just stuck with me, And I wonder about that for you. Absolutely. 361 00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:34,359 Speaker 1: First of all, I'm really convinced that they take the 362 00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:38,200 Speaker 1: baby out and they put the guilty in. Oh. Yes, 363 00:24:38,800 --> 00:24:43,440 Speaker 1: I literally have never met a working mother myself included, 364 00:24:43,480 --> 00:24:49,399 Speaker 1: who is not guilty. Right I am? I was perpetually guilty. 365 00:24:50,359 --> 00:24:55,000 Speaker 1: I mean my daughters now tease me about that. You know, 366 00:24:55,040 --> 00:24:59,760 Speaker 1: I always felt, um, I was not a good enough 367 00:24:59,840 --> 00:25:03,080 Speaker 1: my there because I had also an amazing mother, an 368 00:25:03,160 --> 00:25:09,720 Speaker 1: amazing mother like the mother I was always comparing myself 369 00:25:09,760 --> 00:25:13,399 Speaker 1: to even though you know, I did a lot of 370 00:25:13,440 --> 00:25:16,320 Speaker 1: things that I think are important. If you're a working mother, 371 00:25:16,920 --> 00:25:19,840 Speaker 1: that makes it clear to your children that even though 372 00:25:19,880 --> 00:25:23,639 Speaker 1: you're working and working hard, there are your priority emotionally, 373 00:25:23,760 --> 00:25:28,280 Speaker 1: my children are my priority. I I think you'll like 374 00:25:28,400 --> 00:25:32,320 Speaker 1: this because if we have similar thoughts about things, if 375 00:25:32,320 --> 00:25:35,640 Speaker 1: you're present in each people try to divide half. I'm 376 00:25:35,720 --> 00:25:38,360 Speaker 1: calling somebody else while I'm pretending I'm with my kid, 377 00:25:38,400 --> 00:25:41,600 Speaker 1: but I'm not present. I'm I'm I'm over in work 378 00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:43,879 Speaker 1: thinking calling the nanny or I don't have a nanny, 379 00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:48,000 Speaker 1: but whatever people are doing versus I'm present in this, 380 00:25:48,240 --> 00:25:50,040 Speaker 1: and you're you know the boundaries. I'm at work and 381 00:25:50,040 --> 00:25:52,280 Speaker 1: I'm you're present for these people that you're working with, 382 00:25:52,359 --> 00:25:55,040 Speaker 1: and you're present in that, and then everybody feels like 383 00:25:55,040 --> 00:25:59,040 Speaker 1: they're getting what they need. Absolutely, I think that is 384 00:25:59,119 --> 00:26:04,800 Speaker 1: the key. And we have a piece on our Thrive 385 00:26:04,880 --> 00:26:10,960 Speaker 1: website that I love by Philip Schneider with Them, the 386 00:26:12,040 --> 00:26:15,800 Speaker 1: chief business officer at Google, and he wrote how he 387 00:26:15,880 --> 00:26:19,880 Speaker 1: came home from a trip and he told his young 388 00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:22,640 Speaker 1: children He's gonna take the playground, and the little boy 389 00:26:22,680 --> 00:26:26,000 Speaker 1: said oh no, can't the babysitter take us? And he 390 00:26:26,160 --> 00:26:28,920 Speaker 1: was kind of a crestfallen and he asked why, and 391 00:26:28,960 --> 00:26:32,240 Speaker 1: the little boy said, because when you're in the playground, 392 00:26:32,280 --> 00:26:36,800 Speaker 1: you're always on your phone, right And you know, he 393 00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:39,800 Speaker 1: wrote about it, and he told me what an incredible 394 00:26:39,960 --> 00:26:47,240 Speaker 1: response he got from from googlers because he said, from 395 00:26:47,320 --> 00:26:50,119 Speaker 1: that moment on when he was with his children, he 396 00:26:50,240 --> 00:26:52,919 Speaker 1: was not on his phone. It's a great that's a 397 00:26:52,920 --> 00:26:56,080 Speaker 1: good second rule from today that after eight o'clock is digestible, 398 00:26:56,600 --> 00:26:58,840 Speaker 1: and so is that not to be on your phone 399 00:26:58,880 --> 00:27:01,320 Speaker 1: with your kids. That's I'm I'm gonna do that starting today. 400 00:27:01,560 --> 00:27:03,879 Speaker 1: I'm not always, but I am sometimes, and that's a 401 00:27:03,920 --> 00:27:06,840 Speaker 1: good rule. So I know you have what did you 402 00:27:06,880 --> 00:27:10,640 Speaker 1: say after eight o'clock? You said? You said, well, I'm 403 00:27:10,680 --> 00:27:13,040 Speaker 1: going to do after eight o'clock. You said, set the time, 404 00:27:13,160 --> 00:27:16,639 Speaker 1: and I thought eight o'clock is reasonable and the charging 405 00:27:16,680 --> 00:27:18,360 Speaker 1: outside the room, and I've done it before and it's 406 00:27:18,359 --> 00:27:20,760 Speaker 1: worked and I've slept better. And I'm just you know, 407 00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:24,200 Speaker 1: like you said, we we we we just don't have willpower. 408 00:27:24,240 --> 00:27:26,760 Speaker 1: And I'm going to just implement at least that for myself. 409 00:27:26,960 --> 00:27:29,240 Speaker 1: But I want to make it clear that it doesn't 410 00:27:29,280 --> 00:27:32,439 Speaker 1: have to be eight o'clock. Right, No, no, for everybody listening, 411 00:27:32,480 --> 00:27:36,560 Speaker 1: it's my choice. It's my body, my choice, right everybody. 412 00:27:37,640 --> 00:27:40,920 Speaker 1: If you wanted to be eleven o'clock, yeah, exactly eleven o'clock, 413 00:27:40,960 --> 00:27:47,560 Speaker 1: but make it a conscious demarcation, exactly your phone life 414 00:27:47,640 --> 00:27:52,520 Speaker 1: and your working life and surrendering to sleep. The truth, Bethan, 415 00:27:52,680 --> 00:27:57,119 Speaker 1: is that seventy two percent of people sleep with their phones, 416 00:27:58,040 --> 00:28:02,320 Speaker 1: nightstand or cuddled up with which means they're on their phones, 417 00:28:02,680 --> 00:28:07,120 Speaker 1: crawling and handling things until they can't keep their eyes open. Yes, 418 00:28:07,359 --> 00:28:09,240 Speaker 1: and then they turn off the light and they got 419 00:28:09,240 --> 00:28:12,119 Speaker 1: to sleep. And very often people wake up in the 420 00:28:12,119 --> 00:28:15,960 Speaker 1: middle of the night, not because they're not tired, but 421 00:28:16,119 --> 00:28:19,320 Speaker 1: because their brains didn't have a chance to slow down. 422 00:28:19,680 --> 00:28:24,080 Speaker 1: I'm telling my whole staff. So that is a phone bed, 423 00:28:24,240 --> 00:28:28,320 Speaker 1: you know. The only physical product that Drive has launched 424 00:28:29,240 --> 00:28:32,720 Speaker 1: is a little phone bed at charging station that looks 425 00:28:32,760 --> 00:28:36,119 Speaker 1: like a little phone bed. It has a blanket. You 426 00:28:36,160 --> 00:28:38,840 Speaker 1: put your phone under the blanket, you tack it in, 427 00:28:39,040 --> 00:28:41,800 Speaker 1: you say good night, I love Connect in the morning. 428 00:28:42,360 --> 00:28:45,440 Speaker 1: And I don't know if your daughter has a phone yet, Yes, 429 00:28:45,520 --> 00:28:47,520 Speaker 1: I'm giving her a phone bed too. I love this 430 00:28:48,720 --> 00:28:51,760 Speaker 1: bed for the whole family. I'm sending you want you 431 00:28:51,840 --> 00:28:55,560 Speaker 1: on mahogany or lightwood. Oh, my house is very like 432 00:28:55,640 --> 00:29:02,440 Speaker 1: Greenwich Country, so whatever you think, like dark wood, dark water, blackgany. 433 00:29:02,520 --> 00:29:08,040 Speaker 1: And then it also teaches your child yes hygiene, Yes, 434 00:29:08,320 --> 00:29:11,320 Speaker 1: doesn't sleep with you. It's a phone cleanse. It's like breakfast. 435 00:29:11,320 --> 00:29:13,480 Speaker 1: You have to break the fast, so you're breaking the 436 00:29:13,480 --> 00:29:16,320 Speaker 1: phone has to break the fast to what percentage lucky? 437 00:29:16,360 --> 00:29:19,520 Speaker 1: Do you consider yourself and what percentage smart? Oh? I 438 00:29:19,800 --> 00:29:25,960 Speaker 1: consider life being a dance between making it happen and 439 00:29:26,040 --> 00:29:30,320 Speaker 1: letting it happen. I don't know what the exact percentage is, 440 00:29:30,400 --> 00:29:35,240 Speaker 1: but I know a thousand percent that I didn't make 441 00:29:37,400 --> 00:29:41,000 Speaker 1: everything in my life happened, and that often some of 442 00:29:41,040 --> 00:29:44,600 Speaker 1: the best things that happened in my life happened after 443 00:29:44,840 --> 00:29:50,480 Speaker 1: very bad things in my life. Yes, my collapse that 444 00:29:50,560 --> 00:29:55,320 Speaker 1: led to so many amazing things. Or the man I 445 00:29:55,360 --> 00:29:58,360 Speaker 1: was in love with in London in my twenties who 446 00:29:58,360 --> 00:30:01,840 Speaker 1: wouldn't marry me. He didn't want kids, he just wanted cats. 447 00:30:01,880 --> 00:30:04,760 Speaker 1: That prompted me to leave London and moved to New 448 00:30:04,840 --> 00:30:10,960 Speaker 1: York simply to escape, right, you know? So many things 449 00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:13,640 Speaker 1: in my life when I look back that we're not 450 00:30:13,880 --> 00:30:19,240 Speaker 1: my doing. Well, those lead into the last question, which 451 00:30:19,320 --> 00:30:23,040 Speaker 1: is your rose and your thorn of your career? And 452 00:30:23,080 --> 00:30:24,720 Speaker 1: for you it sounds like it might be the same. 453 00:30:24,800 --> 00:30:30,520 Speaker 1: They might be the same. Well, um, no question. The 454 00:30:30,800 --> 00:30:35,120 Speaker 1: thorn has been what I called the obnoxious roommate living 455 00:30:35,160 --> 00:30:42,240 Speaker 1: in my head. H we are so similar. Noise, the noise, 456 00:30:42,400 --> 00:30:47,760 Speaker 1: the voice of sell reaching myself up after a mistake. 457 00:30:48,960 --> 00:30:55,520 Speaker 1: And I really had to work very hard two um 458 00:30:56,120 --> 00:31:02,720 Speaker 1: quieter and on many days island sing that voice because 459 00:31:02,840 --> 00:31:08,080 Speaker 1: I find it the most depleting, exhausting, unproductive thing anybody 460 00:31:08,120 --> 00:31:12,360 Speaker 1: can do. Women have it more than men because we 461 00:31:12,400 --> 00:31:17,560 Speaker 1: are perfectionists. And and now you know, I had dinner 462 00:31:17,560 --> 00:31:20,320 Speaker 1: the other night with Normallere. He's going to be one 463 00:31:20,480 --> 00:31:26,000 Speaker 1: hundred years old in July, and he said the two 464 00:31:26,160 --> 00:31:31,160 Speaker 1: most important words he wants to leave behind our over 465 00:31:31,600 --> 00:31:36,880 Speaker 1: and next, that's my fiance is like that it happened. 466 00:31:36,960 --> 00:31:40,120 Speaker 1: So what it happened? He said it to me fifty 467 00:31:40,120 --> 00:31:42,520 Speaker 1: times a day. Okay, well it happened. That's then this 468 00:31:42,600 --> 00:31:45,040 Speaker 1: is now like it's so we're the same, but it's 469 00:31:45,080 --> 00:31:47,120 Speaker 1: part of your success though if not so it's a 470 00:31:47,120 --> 00:31:49,560 Speaker 1: hard thing because it's your rose and your thorn, like 471 00:31:49,840 --> 00:31:52,320 Speaker 1: part of your success is that voice. No, No, I 472 00:31:52,360 --> 00:31:56,280 Speaker 1: don't agree with that. I think it's entirely my thorn. Okay. Good. 473 00:31:57,760 --> 00:32:00,560 Speaker 1: Now that I've been able to deal with it, and 474 00:32:01,160 --> 00:32:08,680 Speaker 1: that obnoxioutary mate only makes very occasional guest appearances, I'm 475 00:32:08,800 --> 00:32:12,640 Speaker 1: much more productive, I have more energy for things, etcetera. 476 00:32:12,640 --> 00:32:15,360 Speaker 1: I think it's entirely my thought. Okay, God, I'm gonna 477 00:32:15,440 --> 00:32:18,080 Speaker 1: that's the third thing I'm gonna talk about, the obnoxious roommate. 478 00:32:18,120 --> 00:32:20,360 Speaker 1: I never write notes like this from myself after this, 479 00:32:20,560 --> 00:32:23,880 Speaker 1: but today is a big educational day. Okay. And then 480 00:32:23,920 --> 00:32:27,120 Speaker 1: I guess your rose was the was at the collapse. No, 481 00:32:27,720 --> 00:32:31,840 Speaker 1: my rose is that. Ever since I can remember, I 482 00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:36,840 Speaker 1: always had a spiritual dimension to my life, not any 483 00:32:36,880 --> 00:32:43,560 Speaker 1: particular religion, but a conviction and absolute knowing that we 484 00:32:43,680 --> 00:32:48,920 Speaker 1: all have a place in us of peace, wisdom, strength, love, 485 00:32:49,920 --> 00:32:53,320 Speaker 1: and that the journey of life is to keep connecting 486 00:32:53,360 --> 00:32:55,719 Speaker 1: to that place in a deeper and deeper way. I 487 00:32:55,800 --> 00:32:59,520 Speaker 1: always believe that. When I was seventeen, I went to 488 00:32:59,560 --> 00:33:04,920 Speaker 1: India and started comparative religion, and I saw that whether 489 00:33:05,000 --> 00:33:08,800 Speaker 1: it's Christianity or Juday is more Zen or the bag 490 00:33:08,880 --> 00:33:12,000 Speaker 1: Bada Gita or the tow They all say the same thing, 491 00:33:13,280 --> 00:33:19,000 Speaker 1: that this is kind of our spiritual birthright, and anything 492 00:33:19,080 --> 00:33:23,840 Speaker 1: we can do to connect with that place is the 493 00:33:23,880 --> 00:33:26,560 Speaker 1: most important thing in my life. And I feel very 494 00:33:26,640 --> 00:33:32,480 Speaker 1: blessed that I have a kind of path to connect 495 00:33:32,480 --> 00:33:36,800 Speaker 1: to that place. I'm not saying I'm living there, but 496 00:33:36,920 --> 00:33:39,360 Speaker 1: I can connect to that place. It's the eye in 497 00:33:39,440 --> 00:33:44,000 Speaker 1: the hurricane. Yes, there rose in my life. There's a 498 00:33:44,240 --> 00:33:46,840 Speaker 1: line to which all things that here. It's an invisible line, 499 00:33:46,840 --> 00:33:49,600 Speaker 1: but you know it's there, and you gravitate back towards 500 00:33:49,600 --> 00:33:51,400 Speaker 1: it when things are good, when things are bad. It's 501 00:33:51,440 --> 00:33:54,280 Speaker 1: just there. I like that. That's nice because that relates 502 00:33:54,280 --> 00:33:59,640 Speaker 1: to religion, to culture, to other people. Probably. UM. I 503 00:33:59,760 --> 00:34:02,440 Speaker 1: love that I could talk to you for days, um, 504 00:34:02,480 --> 00:34:04,920 Speaker 1: and I hope we get together at some point. But 505 00:34:05,040 --> 00:34:09,319 Speaker 1: I really appreciate you, and I appreciate the passion and 506 00:34:09,360 --> 00:34:12,200 Speaker 1: the quietness you put into everything. I really I like it. 507 00:34:12,239 --> 00:34:14,600 Speaker 1: I could. I have my notes, and I can't wait 508 00:34:14,680 --> 00:34:18,000 Speaker 1: to like to change some of these things because I 509 00:34:18,040 --> 00:34:20,360 Speaker 1: feel the same way as you. But we get you 510 00:34:20,480 --> 00:34:23,360 Speaker 1: just we'll do it later and I like it, so 511 00:34:23,440 --> 00:34:27,759 Speaker 1: I appreciate you well. I loved every moment. I look 512 00:34:27,800 --> 00:34:30,120 Speaker 1: forward to seeing you in New York and meeting your 513 00:34:30,360 --> 00:34:35,279 Speaker 1: very lucky fiancet. Yes, onward, upward, inward the name of 514 00:34:35,280 --> 00:34:39,120 Speaker 1: the Dea and who run the world, to be honest, Yes, 515 00:34:39,800 --> 00:34:44,320 Speaker 1: it both. Yes, um fantastic. Well, thank you so much, Arianna, 516 00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:49,960 Speaker 1: Thank you, Bethany,