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Speaker 1: What's up. It's where you put Angela Yee. I'm Angela Yee,

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Speaker 1: and Jasmine Brand is here with me. Yes, and we

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Speaker 1: have the amazing Ayanavans here with us, and listen, listen.

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Speaker 1: I know that season two of your podcast is starting

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Speaker 1: and the first topic is about self worth. Yes, and

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Speaker 1: we were kind of just talking about that now, you know.

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Speaker 2: Talking about as a public person, when people make up

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Speaker 2: that you're rich and that you can come work for

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Speaker 2: them for free and do what they want you to

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Speaker 2: do for free, and first of all, they don't. I

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Speaker 2: have lots of things to do with my money. I

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Speaker 2: have ten grandchildren, yes, grandchildren. And I'm old, not old,

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Speaker 2: not old. Yes, I'm old. I'm older okay in age,

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Speaker 2: I just got older.

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Speaker 1: You're little, okay.

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Speaker 3: How do you decide? How do you decide? You know

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Speaker 3: when to say yes when to say no? When something

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Speaker 3: is asked of you for free, for free.

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Speaker 2: Well, if it's a topic or an issue that really

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Speaker 2: matters to me, it can't cost me, meaning you got

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Speaker 2: to get me there, you got to feed me, you

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Speaker 2: got to provide me transportation. It can't cost me, but

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Speaker 2: I won't charge you. The other thing is, if it's

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Speaker 2: a subject matter that really matters to me. So okay,

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Speaker 2: if it's a thing, a subject matter that really matters

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Speaker 2: to me. Also, if it's something near to my heart,

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Speaker 2: I'll do it. And if it's gonna promote something I

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Speaker 2: care about.

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Speaker 1: Okay, right, you have the podcast, so you might say, Okay,

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Speaker 1: this is a good time for me to do it.

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Speaker 2: I'll do the Jimmy Kimmel Show tonight for free because

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Speaker 2: I can promote my podcast, right, and I'll show today.

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Speaker 1: Thank you so much. You know. But somebody told me

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Speaker 1: one time they were reading a book and they said,

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Speaker 1: if something you should try this, if something somebody I

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Speaker 1: should do something, you don't automatically think yes, then say no.

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Speaker 1: And she was like, just try to do that for

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Speaker 1: a few months because I feel like I been just

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Speaker 1: kind of all over the place. I just got my

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Speaker 1: real estate license, okay, so I'm like, okay, I want

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Speaker 1: to focus on this, but I also have my coffee company,

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Speaker 1: and I have the coffee shop. I'm expanding that business.

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Speaker 1: There's a lot going on, and sometimes that doesn't bring

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Speaker 1: in money. So there's a lot of things I end

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Speaker 1: up doing just because I want to promote other things. Well,

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Speaker 1: there's a balance, but that's your choice. Right.

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Speaker 2: The thing that I learned is it doesn't honor me

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Speaker 2: to give away my time. It doesn't honor me, right

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Speaker 2: unless i'm supporting you know, if you're a nonprofit, you're

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Speaker 2: doing something that I care about, and me being there

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Speaker 2: is going to bring you in people and that matters

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Speaker 2: to me, then I'll do that. But it doesn't honor

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Speaker 2: me for you to sell tickets with my name on it. Right,

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Speaker 2: call people forward, and I don't make any money. Time

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Speaker 2: is money, now, you're right about that.

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Speaker 4: So Angela, sometimes you got to say it does not

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Speaker 4: honor me.

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Speaker 1: And know she thinks that I say yes to too

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Speaker 1: many things that I shouldn't do. Now I want to

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Speaker 1: ask you this because you said this new season is

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Speaker 1: going to be focused on men. Yes, right when it

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Speaker 1: comes to relationships. I did a podcast last night shout

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Speaker 1: out to mathof of my expert opinion and that guy

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Speaker 1: it was me and it was all guys on this

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Speaker 1: podcast and just hearing people's conversations about relationships, and the

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Speaker 1: men in the room were saying that sometimes they don't

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Speaker 1: feel safe expressing themselves around women being able to be

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Speaker 1: vulnerable because there's an expectation that you're supposed to have

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Speaker 1: certain things. Even that list of restaurants they talked about

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Speaker 1: that that women said that they won't go to on

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Speaker 1: a first date.

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Speaker 2: I know, I love the Cheesecake Factor, I love those

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Speaker 2: little corn things, and I like Applebee's and the movies

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Speaker 2: because I think the movies was on there, and I said.

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Speaker 1: That's kind of a go together. Remember it used to

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Speaker 1: be like you go to the movies and then you

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Speaker 1: get like a coupon for Apple Bride. And they also

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Speaker 1: said because I said, I wouldn't have a problem using

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Speaker 1: a coupon on a date, but they said guys should

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Speaker 1: not ever first talk bad about it.

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Speaker 4: I think they were talking about first day, so.

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Speaker 5: I'd be a little leary of a coupon on a

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Speaker 5: first date.

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Speaker 1: Age discounts already.

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Speaker 3: But Angela's question, I know this is this season is

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Speaker 3: going to talk about me. What do you think is

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Speaker 3: the biggest issue you find between men and women in relationships?

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Speaker 3: What's one of the bigger ones you keep hearing about.

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Speaker 2: Well, I don't know if it's between men and women.

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Speaker 2: None of us, men or women, we haven't been trained.

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Speaker 2: We don't have the skills and the tools required to

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Speaker 2: really sustain and maintain relationships in the way the world

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Speaker 2: is today, so many things have changed. But the other

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Speaker 2: thing is men are just not emotionally solid. They're not

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Speaker 2: They haven't done the work. A lot of them were

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Speaker 2: raised by mothers who were not emotionally solid.

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Speaker 5: Sorry moms, I raised the son too.

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Speaker 2: A lot of them will been traumatized and never taught

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Speaker 2: how to process it, and so they're not safe. And

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Speaker 2: you know, women today are a lot more aggressive in

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Speaker 2: our approach to life in general, right, And and we've

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Speaker 2: done more work than them, So we have some things

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Speaker 2: that are solid that they don't and and and they've

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Speaker 2: got to catch up.

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Speaker 1: Now what do you mean by we're more aggressive women today?

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Speaker 1: And why do you think that is?

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Speaker 2: Well?

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Speaker 5: Oh, Lord help me.

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Speaker 2: We we have become what I call men in skirts.

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Speaker 2: We are so aggressive, so demanding, so unaware. Really we

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Speaker 2: think we got it going on, but women really aren't

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Speaker 2: aware of their power because our power as women is silent.

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Speaker 2: If you really know what you're doing, you can work

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Speaker 2: a room.

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Speaker 1: Yeah you think I've been told I'm BOSSI Yeah. In

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Speaker 1: relationships we are.

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Speaker 2: We are because I think we've been left alone and

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Speaker 2: up to our own devices for too long. I find

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Speaker 2: women to be mean as hell. I'm sorry, really, Oh

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Speaker 2: my gosh, am I music?

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Speaker 1: Oh yes, adjusmin?

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Speaker 4: Are you mean a little bit?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 5: You might.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm more straight. I mean, I'm more you're more passive.

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Speaker 3: You'll be mean on the inside and not say and

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Speaker 3: I'll say hey or but.

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Speaker 2: See, I'm an outful woman, so I'm I'm straightforward too.

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Speaker 2: I'm in your face and on your work. But I'm

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Speaker 2: not mean.

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Speaker 4: Okay, do you are you aggressive?

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Speaker 5: No, I'm assertive aggressive.

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Speaker 4: What's the difference?

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Speaker 2: Well, first of all, your intention okay, an assertiveness it's

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Speaker 2: about dominion and accomplishing a particular thing, and aggressive it's

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Speaker 2: about control and getting what you're going forward.

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Speaker 5: And there's a difference.

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Speaker 2: One comes from the head, one comes from the heart,

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Speaker 2: A searching comes from the heart. Aggression comes from the head.

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Speaker 2: And it's ego and and women today. I find certain

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Speaker 2: generations of women today are extremely aggressive, unkind, unloving and

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Speaker 2: mean as hell.

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Speaker 1: God see, I'm very much an EmPATH. I think, yes,

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Speaker 1: because sometimes there'll be things that I'm thinking, but I

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Speaker 1: always give people an excuse. I'll be like, well maybe

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Speaker 1: they have X, Y and Z going on, or maybe

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Speaker 1: they didn't mean it that way.

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Speaker 2: Why is that an excuse as opposed to a broader

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Speaker 2: perspective than somebody's self centered ego?

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Speaker 5: Demand? Why is that an excuse?

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Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, I'm very I always about that. I'm

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Speaker 1: an EmPATH though, because you have to, like I will

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Speaker 1: a lot of times, try to understand somebody else's point

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Speaker 1: of view and look at it that way. Now, I

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Speaker 1: want to before we get too deep into that, I

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Speaker 1: do want to bring up one topic you had on

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Speaker 1: your page, which is about women proposing to men. I know,

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Speaker 1: so I want to talk about it now that you

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Speaker 1: know we so aggressive?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, A personally, if I were in the marrying realm today,

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Speaker 2: I wouldn't have a problem asking if he wanted to

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Speaker 2: do that. Okay, you know, I don't know what the

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Speaker 2: rules are today because all the rules have changed.

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Speaker 4: I don't know if there are any rules.

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Speaker 1: I know.

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Speaker 5: I feel like that's true.

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Speaker 2: No rules, no structure, no boundaries, And I think that's

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Speaker 2: what's getting us in trouble. But I just asked the question,

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Speaker 2: should she ask? Because here's why I've heard from too

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Speaker 2: many women who've waited five, seven, ten years. And then

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Speaker 2: he goes off with kafada and has six kids, and

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Speaker 2: she's sitting there with the dress and the box and

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Speaker 2: he don't ask them.

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Speaker 1: You know, can you see yourself asking no for somebody's.

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Speaker 3: Head, because I just I would feel like I'm I

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Speaker 3: would feel like I am into him more than he

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Speaker 3: is into me.

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Speaker 5: What if he just has poor communication skills?

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Speaker 3: If he has poor communication skills. I feel like we

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Speaker 3: have a conversation, like I want to get married. What

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Speaker 3: are you thinking about?

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Speaker 4: That's what I'm saying, is that I don't think it's

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Speaker 4: anything wrong with that.

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Speaker 3: I would say that you propose to me? No, not that,

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Speaker 3: but like I want to get married? Do you want

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Speaker 3: to get married? Like?

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Speaker 4: What is what? What do you think that you thought I.

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Speaker 5: Was talking about? Get down on one?

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Speaker 1: You just up the conversation.

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Speaker 5: No, just bringing up to talk.

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Speaker 4: But I don't I'm not okay with proposing.

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Speaker 1: I always feel like if you're sleeping with somebody, you

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Speaker 1: can pretty much have a conversation about anything, Like I

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Speaker 1: should be able to ask you anything or talk about

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Speaker 1: the future, because sleeping with somebody could mean a future together,

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Speaker 1: whether or not it's intentional or not.

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Speaker 5: That's true. True.

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Speaker 2: Well, here's what I'm saying. Here's the problem that I'm having.

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Speaker 2: And again I'm an elder, so I have a different perspective.

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Speaker 2: I think we're sleeping with these men much too soon.

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Speaker 2: I think we're sleeping with the wrong man, and then

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Speaker 2: we get upset when they don't honor and respect us.

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Speaker 2: But you know, for me, she who has the madam rules?

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Speaker 2: So I got the mad.

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Speaker 4: Is thettle, that's the mathter.

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Speaker 5: What do you call them?

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Speaker 4: I probably don't want to say it in front of you.

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Speaker 1: No, I got everything.

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Speaker 4: I'm fine. I would like to ask a question about

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Speaker 4: the matter now, I call it the madam.

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Speaker 3: Okay, in your mind, I know there's not a blanket answer.

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Speaker 3: What how you know? What's the appropriate time frame to

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Speaker 3: give away the madam?

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Speaker 2: Like giving I'm going to invite you to worship in

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Speaker 2: her temple. This is church, No, this is this is

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Speaker 2: sacred life, sacred living.

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Speaker 5: Right to the matter.

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Speaker 4: What's the appropriate I say.

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Speaker 2: Between ninety one and twenty days, So that's speak of

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Speaker 2: four months, because you're going to see the true colors,

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Speaker 2: you're going to identify something, You're going to spend time

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Speaker 2: together now. And the other thing is, even as an elder,

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Speaker 2: I'm not opposed to a playdate I'm opposed to you

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Speaker 2: just want to, you know, have a little experience for

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Speaker 2: a moment and send that person packing.

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Speaker 5: I'm not posted to that either relationship.

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Speaker 2: You're saying, yes, I do, because that's how a lot

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Speaker 2: of us are getting snapped up and beat up in

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Speaker 2: two months and they see if you wasn't giving them

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Speaker 2: the madam and he wasn't serious, he wouldn't be around.

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Speaker 1: What are your thoughts about how things have changed with

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Speaker 1: online dating.

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Speaker 5: I am shocked at harfive.

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Speaker 1: That could be a lot of great conversations to get

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Speaker 1: to know somebody before you have to meet in person.

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Speaker 5: Well, it's not so much see me like you. I'm

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Speaker 5: an EmPATH. I gotta feel you. I gotta feel you, and.

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Speaker 2: We can do we used to do it on the phone.

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Speaker 2: So but with the bad behavior on social media and

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Speaker 2: the tricks and scams and shanigations.

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Speaker 5: That people.

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Speaker 2: That people have developed, it's too easy now to con

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Speaker 2: and and and craft and I don't like it.

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Speaker 1: That happens in real life too. You could meet somebody

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Speaker 1: and what.

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Speaker 4: If you wait ninety days?

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Speaker 5: Okay, that's right, all four months?

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Speaker 1: Because you know, I will say, it is a busy

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Speaker 1: time for a lot of people and people. I feel

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Speaker 1: like just because back in the day, we used to

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Speaker 1: have to go outside meet people in person. You couldn't

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Speaker 1: see each other unless you saw each other in person.

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Speaker 1: It wasn't FaceTime, it wasn't all of those things. A

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Speaker 1: lot of times were in the house and not socializing

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Speaker 1: the way we could. Uh So, I feel like a

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Speaker 1: lot of times people are when they'll ask, when they'll

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Speaker 1: ask you, how come I can't find somebody I really

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Speaker 1: want a date. I'm trying to get back out there

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Speaker 1: and date. I had a woman call me the other

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Speaker 1: day and I would love to get your advice on this.

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Speaker 1: She said she was in an abusive relationship for eight

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Speaker 1: years and she's finally ready to go back outside, but

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Speaker 1: it's really hard for her to trust.

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Speaker 2: Anybody and hard. Don't go stay on because you haven't

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Speaker 2: done your work. You've been out for eight years, but

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Speaker 2: you haven't done your work because trusted doesn't your Your

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Speaker 2: capacity and ability to trust has nothing to do with

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Speaker 2: the other person. It has to do with what's going

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Speaker 2: on inside of you. Trust is internal. Faith is external. Okay,

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Speaker 2: at first, you got to have trust. Trust in faith

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Speaker 2: without works. Faith is external. Trust is internal, So let

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Speaker 2: us don't date when you're know how to get in

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Speaker 2: touch with.

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Speaker 5: You know what?

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Speaker 1: I did get her information because Detroit. I'm actually sending

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Speaker 1: her to go do hot yoga. Okay, I did tell

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Speaker 1: her I said she should do something. Yeah, yes, my

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Speaker 1: girl me and that she's a black woman that owns

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Speaker 1: a hot yoga place in Detroit.

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Speaker 5: Hey, I mean no.

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Speaker 1: And so I told her, I was like, you do

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Speaker 1: need to maybe love yourself first before you even attempt

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Speaker 1: to if you're not feeling like you're you're you want

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Speaker 1: to go out and date, but it doesn't feel like

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Speaker 1: you're ready.

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Speaker 5: Well.

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Speaker 1: Also, also I feel like, what does she want to

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Speaker 1: date for for what? But I guess she was in

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Speaker 1: this relationship for eight years. It's been two years since

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Speaker 1: she's gone on a date, and so she wants to

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Speaker 1: kind of get back out there because there is something

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Speaker 1: also for somebody having that power over you where they've

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Speaker 1: kind I never want somebody to feel like they had

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Speaker 1: the power over me that now I can't move forward.

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Speaker 5: Well, I would never give anybody.

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Speaker 2: I spent nine years in an abusive marriage right here

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Speaker 2: in New York City with a man that was six

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Speaker 2: foot four, two hundred and sixty pounds and he didn't

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Speaker 2: take anything from me that I didn't give him. So

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Speaker 2: when I finally hurt me bad enough to get out

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Speaker 2: of that relationship. And it takes time for everybody. I'm

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Speaker 2: not saying it has to be in two years, three years,

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Speaker 2: four years. Everybody has to go through the process, but

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Speaker 2: everybody has to do their work.

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Speaker 3: How long did it take you to move forward after

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Speaker 3: that being in that kind of relationship.

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Speaker 2: Get into another relationship, probably about three.

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Speaker 1: Years, three years.

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Speaker 2: And then when I got into the new relationship, I

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Speaker 2: was clear about who I was, what was acceptable, what

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Speaker 2: wasn't acceptable, and what I wanted to experience. So many

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Speaker 2: of us go into relationships trying to find out what

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Speaker 2: the other person is going to give us with no

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Speaker 2: clarity about what it is that we want.

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Speaker 4: So we need to know what we want first absolutely.

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Speaker 5: What do you want to feel like? What do you

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Speaker 5: want to do? What do you want to how do

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Speaker 5: you want to be?

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Speaker 2: You can't just go in a relationship to see what's

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Speaker 2: going to show up, and then when it shows up,

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Speaker 2: you say you don't want it.

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Speaker 1: And part of that is only what you don't want

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Speaker 1: to And I think that's important when a lot of

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Speaker 1: experiences that we go through. While sometimes it can be

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Speaker 1: not the best experiences, it's also good to know I'll

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Speaker 1: never do this again.

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Speaker 5: Oh this doesn't work for me. It's just that simple.

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Speaker 2: I ain't mad at you. I'm not mad at you,

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Speaker 2: or you're crazy. This just don't work for me.

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Speaker 1: But now you did also sit down with Jada pink

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Speaker 1: its math.

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Speaker 5: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Why do you think that people are so mad at her?

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Speaker 2: Because they people like drama. They're all into her story.

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Speaker 5: You know.

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Speaker 2: The people who are maddest at her are the people

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Speaker 2: who have done or have experienced the very thing she

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Speaker 2: wrote about, and they haven't done their work to heal it. Okay,

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Speaker 2: they've either done it or experienced it. Otherwise, why are

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Speaker 2: you invested in her story?

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Speaker 5: Why are you?

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Speaker 2: She wrote a beautiful book and every chapter presented a

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Speaker 2: page of the process she used for healing and the process.

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Speaker 5: You could use. And what they worried about is when

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Speaker 5: she moved out. What the hell she didn't write the book?

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Speaker 2: The story was the demonstration of what propelled her healing process.

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Speaker 2: People are into the story and totally blew the healing.

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Speaker 4: Broc Well, I like it's juicy, so I like the

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Speaker 4: juicy parts.

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Speaker 5: I'm like the Juicy part two. But I'm not going

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Speaker 5: to denounce her because of her story.

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Speaker 1: And it's like people don't believe things because then she'll

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Speaker 1: discuss you know, Tupac, And these are things that other

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Speaker 1: people have said too. It's not just her, Like, you know, people.

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Speaker 2: See me today and cannot believe that I, young Levan

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Speaker 2: sand was in the marriage with somebody that whipped my behind.

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Speaker 2: Every day people will look at it, but don't tell

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Speaker 2: me it didn't happen because A I don't talk about

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Speaker 2: it every day, and b you look at me today

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Speaker 2: and you can't imagine that.

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Speaker 5: Now, that's right, that girl from Brooklyn, Yes I did.

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Speaker 1: People are always that quick to say if that was me,

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Speaker 1: I would have asked me, I don't.

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Speaker 4: Know what you would do.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, so I think you know, it could be you.

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Speaker 5: It could be you. I welcome your courage.

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Speaker 2: Do you know the courage it took for her to

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Speaker 2: sit down and acknowledge that stuff?

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Speaker 5: Number one.

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Speaker 2: Acknowledge it is just the first step. But then to

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Speaker 2: put it out there, because there's some stuff even in

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Speaker 2: all my wonderfulness today, I don't want to acknowledge about me.

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Speaker 1: How was process?

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Speaker 3: How was the you had that conversation with her. Was

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Speaker 3: there anything surprising that you discovered while having that conversation?

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Speaker 2: But I didn't talk about the story at all. I

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Speaker 2: talked to about the healing. I never her story.

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Speaker 5: How well am I going to criticize her story? That

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Speaker 5: doesn't even make sense to me.

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Speaker 2: When you wrote this book about healing, Now she comes

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Speaker 2: to me and asked me about her story, then we

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Speaker 2: could deal with it. But and that's the meanness. You

383
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Speaker 2: tell me that what is going on out there with her.

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Speaker 1: Is not mean, No, it is.

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Speaker 5: I think it's very it's violent.

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Speaker 2: It's violent, and most of it is coming towards from women.

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Speaker 1: That's interesting. And I also feel like when men tell

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Speaker 1: their story is a different reaction always, you know, because

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Speaker 1: Will Smith has told different stories in the past, I

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Speaker 1: don't feel like people came at him the same way

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Speaker 1: that they're coming at her. That's true, I agree. Now

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Speaker 1: I want to ask you this as we're talking about

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Speaker 1: men in relationships on this new season of your podcast

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Speaker 1: here at iHeart, one of the big topics is always

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Speaker 1: about infidelity, right, and you've discussed this too on your

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Speaker 1: page Healing from Infidelity. But a lot of times men

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Speaker 1: don't equate infidelity with whether or not they love the

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Speaker 1: person who they're with, right, all right, So is it

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Speaker 1: possible to say I love this person, I'm in love

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Speaker 1: with this person, yet still be cheating.

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Speaker 2: It is, and it's really a matter of integrity, number one.

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00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:23,119
Speaker 2: The man's integrity is this a man who's going to

403
00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:26,360
Speaker 2: honor his word, honor his commitments. For me is not

404
00:19:26,440 --> 00:19:29,840
Speaker 2: so much the cheating, the act, the physical act of

405
00:19:29,840 --> 00:19:32,879
Speaker 2: being intimate with someone else. What scares me is the

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00:19:32,920 --> 00:19:35,159
Speaker 2: fact that you lie, and that you can look me

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Speaker 2: in my face and lie.

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Speaker 5: Now, that scares me. Okay, I don't like.

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Speaker 2: That part of it, because you can take your little

410
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Speaker 2: weenie and watch it all.

411
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Speaker 5: Plus some boxide on that sucking poxide.

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Speaker 1: Don't do that.

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Speaker 4: I never heard that.

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Speaker 6: Well cleans up infections, I know, but yeah, I know

415
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Speaker 6: some poxide.

416
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Speaker 1: You might gotta go get some penicillin.

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Speaker 2: But the fact that you could look me in my

418
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Speaker 2: eye and lie to me I'll make up some story

419
00:20:06,920 --> 00:20:11,280
Speaker 2: is a betrayal of my heart. You're not being care

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Speaker 2: filled with my heart, and that, to me is dangerous.

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Speaker 2: That's the part about cheating that really makes me crazy.

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00:20:21,040 --> 00:20:26,320
Speaker 2: The lack of integrity, the betrayal of my heart and uh,

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00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:31,280
Speaker 2: forget the broken commitment of broken agreement. That that's how

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Speaker 2: do you live with yourself? How does the person? Because

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Speaker 2: you know, the exciting thing that I've discovered, this is

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Speaker 2: really exciting for me.

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Speaker 5: A women cheat too, they be out.

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Speaker 2: You have?

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Speaker 1: I have?

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Speaker 5: And did you lie about it too?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 5: Oh my god, I am.

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Speaker 1: You've cheated before.

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Speaker 5: I forgot.

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Speaker 1: Because the way she just looked at me, looked at

436
00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:07,920
Speaker 1: me like she never cheated. I forgot that did I

437
00:21:08,080 --> 00:21:08,719
Speaker 1: didn't forget.

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00:21:08,760 --> 00:21:10,600
Speaker 5: I didn't forget. But I didn't lie.

439
00:21:10,880 --> 00:21:12,600
Speaker 1: Okay, I cheated and told the truth.

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00:21:12,880 --> 00:21:14,040
Speaker 5: I did.

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Speaker 2: You said where you've been I slept with my man?

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00:21:20,160 --> 00:21:23,280
Speaker 1: Yeah? I did not lie, I did Angela?

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Speaker 4: Have you cheated before?

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Speaker 1: Well no, I did not, And I mean I cheated,

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Speaker 1: but I will say this when I cheat, it it's

446
00:21:31,240 --> 00:21:33,800
Speaker 1: because the relationship is already over. I just.

447
00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:36,920
Speaker 4: Well they don't know.

448
00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:39,199
Speaker 1: I didn't end it yet, but they don't. Yeah, they

449
00:21:39,200 --> 00:21:40,639
Speaker 1: don't know I cut him cheated.

450
00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:41,600
Speaker 4: They didn't get the memory.

451
00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:43,600
Speaker 1: And after that, I knew I was going to break up.

452
00:21:43,640 --> 00:21:45,840
Speaker 1: And sometimes it takes me a minute to do that,

453
00:21:46,040 --> 00:21:49,040
Speaker 1: Like you'll be with somebody still and women will check

454
00:21:49,080 --> 00:21:51,199
Speaker 1: out way before I have found email.

455
00:21:52,280 --> 00:21:57,119
Speaker 2: Yeah, we just don't pay attention the man they've checked

456
00:21:57,160 --> 00:22:02,800
Speaker 2: out and and they they but busy doing whatever we're doing.

457
00:22:03,240 --> 00:22:03,640
Speaker 5: Yeah.

458
00:22:03,800 --> 00:22:06,479
Speaker 2: But so the whole cheating thing for me is the

459
00:22:06,520 --> 00:22:11,080
Speaker 2: breach of trust, the betrayal of trust. It's the lack

460
00:22:11,119 --> 00:22:14,600
Speaker 2: of integrity for the person, and it's the dishonesty.

461
00:22:15,240 --> 00:22:16,600
Speaker 5: Those are the pieces about it.

462
00:22:16,720 --> 00:22:17,840
Speaker 1: How do you heal from that?

463
00:22:17,840 --> 00:22:18,040
Speaker 2: Though?

464
00:22:18,080 --> 00:22:20,000
Speaker 1: What are some things that you would tell people? Maybe

465
00:22:20,040 --> 00:22:23,040
Speaker 1: they are working on getting things back on track, but

466
00:22:23,520 --> 00:22:26,399
Speaker 1: there's a lot of triggers that can happen. There's a

467
00:22:26,400 --> 00:22:28,760
Speaker 1: lot of where you're going, a lot of questions that

468
00:22:28,800 --> 00:22:31,320
Speaker 1: are asked, like a hundred times over and over again,

469
00:22:31,800 --> 00:22:34,439
Speaker 1: a lot of explaining that has to be done, you know,

470
00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:36,280
Speaker 1: and sometimes you have to put that work in and

471
00:22:36,320 --> 00:22:38,520
Speaker 1: you just have to accept that if you've cheated. But

472
00:22:38,560 --> 00:22:41,359
Speaker 1: then sometimes guys feel like, ah, I can't do this anymore.

473
00:22:41,480 --> 00:22:44,480
Speaker 1: This is what this is going to be like, Well, you.

474
00:22:44,480 --> 00:22:48,280
Speaker 2: Know what, even it takes a moment to get over it.

475
00:22:48,520 --> 00:22:52,480
Speaker 2: But if you're gonna stay, stay, if you're gonna stay, stay,

476
00:22:52,560 --> 00:22:55,600
Speaker 2: and if you're not gonna stay, then go. And this

477
00:22:55,640 --> 00:22:59,720
Speaker 2: thing about if he's gonna stay. You can't beat him

478
00:22:59,800 --> 00:23:00,640
Speaker 2: up all the time.

479
00:23:00,800 --> 00:23:01,520
Speaker 5: You just can't.

480
00:23:02,560 --> 00:23:05,399
Speaker 2: A human mind, you just can't take that. Yeah, And

481
00:23:05,440 --> 00:23:07,560
Speaker 2: if he's not going to stay or you don't want

482
00:23:07,560 --> 00:23:08,840
Speaker 2: to stay with it, let him go.

483
00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:11,040
Speaker 1: But you can't do a little bit of it like

484
00:23:11,200 --> 00:23:13,520
Speaker 1: you can't see.

485
00:23:14,840 --> 00:23:18,920
Speaker 2: There's two things I don't do things cheating and don't

486
00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:22,840
Speaker 2: mess with my money. I'm sorry, don't mess with my money.

487
00:23:23,240 --> 00:23:26,119
Speaker 2: Don't take it out my purse, don't be suspicion around

488
00:23:26,160 --> 00:23:29,320
Speaker 2: with by ATM card, don't ask me for stocks or

489
00:23:29,359 --> 00:23:30,240
Speaker 2: box and nothing.

490
00:23:30,520 --> 00:23:32,160
Speaker 5: Cheating and I don't I don't do that.

491
00:23:32,240 --> 00:23:33,359
Speaker 1: Have you ever been scammed?

492
00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:34,480
Speaker 5: No?

493
00:23:34,760 --> 00:23:37,240
Speaker 1: Never, Okay, I was just asking that because I did

494
00:23:37,240 --> 00:23:39,920
Speaker 1: this documentary and my friend got scammed by a guy

495
00:23:39,960 --> 00:23:42,760
Speaker 1: who she was dating. And he's still give him the

496
00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:43,840
Speaker 1: madam too early.

497
00:23:44,359 --> 00:23:46,520
Speaker 4: Well she didn't wait days, of course.

498
00:23:46,640 --> 00:23:46,800
Speaker 2: Not.

499
00:23:47,560 --> 00:23:48,480
Speaker 1: No, he's stole her car.

500
00:23:50,520 --> 00:23:52,639
Speaker 2: Scammer, he got it. She got scammed in the first

501
00:23:52,720 --> 00:23:54,200
Speaker 2: forty five to sixty days.

502
00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:56,639
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you know, well they actually have broken up,

503
00:23:56,640 --> 00:23:59,160
Speaker 1: but he just never returned her car. And it turned

504
00:23:59,160 --> 00:24:01,440
Speaker 1: out he was a serial Why did he have his car?

505
00:24:01,960 --> 00:24:04,120
Speaker 1: Why did he have her? Called jazz I don't know

506
00:24:04,280 --> 00:24:07,240
Speaker 1: why why she was going out of town. She was

507
00:24:07,240 --> 00:24:09,159
Speaker 1: getting work done on her house in Atlanta and the

508
00:24:09,200 --> 00:24:12,600
Speaker 1: garage was inaccessible, so he was like, Okay, if you want,

509
00:24:12,640 --> 00:24:13,760
Speaker 1: you can leave your car here.

510
00:24:13,880 --> 00:24:15,399
Speaker 5: And how long have they been together?

511
00:24:15,600 --> 00:24:23,040
Speaker 6: Jazz because she's empathetic, but how long have they been together?

512
00:24:23,080 --> 00:24:25,680
Speaker 1: Truthfully? When she left the car there, they had already

513
00:24:25,720 --> 00:24:27,720
Speaker 1: broken up, but they were still friends, and so it

514
00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:32,800
Speaker 1: was just no they was he was a scammer. What Yeah,

515
00:24:32,800 --> 00:24:39,000
Speaker 1: he is a scam look like sneaky yeah right there,

516
00:24:39,720 --> 00:24:42,720
Speaker 1: because you know, I mean in relationships, sometimes guys will

517
00:24:42,760 --> 00:24:44,160
Speaker 1: ask you to do certain things like.

518
00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:46,119
Speaker 2: No no no no no no no no no no

519
00:24:46,119 --> 00:24:50,119
Speaker 2: no no see and this is what happened the old world.

520
00:24:50,160 --> 00:24:52,800
Speaker 5: No no, no no Old world, no.

521
00:24:52,640 --> 00:24:54,880
Speaker 2: No no, I'm gonna let you be a man. You got

522
00:24:54,920 --> 00:24:57,199
Speaker 2: a three piece set. I want you to work it.

523
00:24:57,720 --> 00:25:00,560
Speaker 4: Okay, what a three mis soon?

524
00:25:00,680 --> 00:25:03,600
Speaker 5: And the person yes, the three.

525
00:25:04,119 --> 00:25:10,000
Speaker 6: Oh my gosh, you young people are so fresh and

526
00:25:10,040 --> 00:25:11,800
Speaker 6: you don't know nothing. I don't know you had him.

527
00:25:12,840 --> 00:25:14,359
Speaker 3: I didn't know I had I know now and I

528
00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:18,480
Speaker 3: know the freaking means right, I can continue.

529
00:25:18,480 --> 00:25:19,359
Speaker 4: I've never heard them.

530
00:25:19,240 --> 00:25:20,760
Speaker 5: Yet, you've never heard there?

531
00:25:21,359 --> 00:25:24,280
Speaker 4: Okay, okay, anyways, so many a man?

532
00:25:24,359 --> 00:25:27,040
Speaker 5: Okay, yeah, but you know we want to be the boss.

533
00:25:27,240 --> 00:25:29,200
Speaker 2: And we're out here and we're doing all of these

534
00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:34,119
Speaker 2: credit right, bumping up into the credit Do you know?

535
00:25:34,640 --> 00:25:34,960
Speaker 5: I don't.

536
00:25:35,040 --> 00:25:36,880
Speaker 2: I'm not putting my name on nothing, and you can't

537
00:25:36,880 --> 00:25:38,639
Speaker 2: put your name on none of mine. Now, if we're

538
00:25:38,680 --> 00:25:41,520
Speaker 2: going to do something together, okay, I'll meet you fifty

539
00:25:41,560 --> 00:25:44,760
Speaker 2: fifty okay, but now we do no.

540
00:25:44,760 --> 00:25:46,399
Speaker 1: Now, what do you think about if a woman is

541
00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:49,600
Speaker 1: dating a man and say they've been together for three

542
00:25:49,680 --> 00:25:52,800
Speaker 1: years and she needs she's starting a business and she

543
00:25:52,880 --> 00:25:55,440
Speaker 1: comes to him and she's like, look, I have this business,

544
00:25:55,560 --> 00:25:57,880
Speaker 1: and I know you have X, Y and Z. You've

545
00:25:57,880 --> 00:25:59,720
Speaker 1: always said to me, if you ever do anything, I

546
00:25:59,760 --> 00:26:01,720
Speaker 1: want to invest and that she asks him and he

547
00:26:01,840 --> 00:26:05,480
Speaker 1: says no. Right should that be a concern to a

548
00:26:05,520 --> 00:26:08,159
Speaker 1: woman that the person that she's been with has asked

549
00:26:08,200 --> 00:26:10,399
Speaker 1: for this investment that he has but he just tells

550
00:26:10,440 --> 00:26:11,560
Speaker 1: her no, I don't want to do it.

551
00:26:12,560 --> 00:26:14,879
Speaker 5: What would should she be concerned?

552
00:26:15,119 --> 00:26:19,520
Speaker 1: She should be gone, wow, because you can tell the

553
00:26:19,560 --> 00:26:21,520
Speaker 1: other person no, right if.

554
00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:25,080
Speaker 2: You can, But I would want to know. And me

555
00:26:25,480 --> 00:26:28,520
Speaker 2: because I'm a lawyer. This is not about you doing

556
00:26:28,560 --> 00:26:31,240
Speaker 2: it for me. Let's make an agreement. Let's make an arrangement.

557
00:26:31,320 --> 00:26:33,880
Speaker 2: Let's put this on paper. And I have a very

558
00:26:33,920 --> 00:26:38,359
Speaker 2: specific request. I wanted you to invest five grand, ten grand,

559
00:26:38,400 --> 00:26:41,480
Speaker 2: whatever it is. But he does have the right to

560
00:26:41,520 --> 00:26:46,600
Speaker 2: say no. But approach it as a business situation with

561
00:26:46,720 --> 00:26:50,120
Speaker 2: someone that you're close and intimate with, and not as

562
00:26:50,800 --> 00:26:53,359
Speaker 2: because we're intimate, you need to be in my business.

563
00:26:53,600 --> 00:26:55,480
Speaker 5: Right, that's not going to work out.

564
00:26:55,640 --> 00:26:57,800
Speaker 1: All right. Now, another thing that's been a huge issue.

565
00:26:57,800 --> 00:27:01,080
Speaker 1: I feel like as we're getting older in dating, co parenting.

566
00:27:02,080 --> 00:27:04,679
Speaker 1: All right, the holidays are coming up, yes, and co

567
00:27:04,840 --> 00:27:07,720
Speaker 1: parenting has been a huge issue where sometimes it could

568
00:27:07,720 --> 00:27:10,199
Speaker 1: be the parents don't get along with each other, and

569
00:27:10,240 --> 00:27:12,959
Speaker 1: then that means the child ends up being collateral damage.

570
00:27:13,040 --> 00:27:14,240
Speaker 5: Yeah, collateral damage.

571
00:27:14,240 --> 00:27:17,880
Speaker 2: And the thing is, as co parents, the only thing

572
00:27:17,960 --> 00:27:21,959
Speaker 2: that is of concern to you is the child. But

573
00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:25,800
Speaker 2: what happens is because there's so there's no closure or

574
00:27:25,840 --> 00:27:30,080
Speaker 2: completion in the relationship, those issues get blended up together.

575
00:27:30,480 --> 00:27:34,920
Speaker 2: So it's the ex girlfriend, you know, striking again revenge

576
00:27:34,960 --> 00:27:37,240
Speaker 2: against the boyfriend, and the kids.

577
00:27:37,200 --> 00:27:39,040
Speaker 5: Are messed up in the middle.

578
00:27:39,200 --> 00:27:42,200
Speaker 2: So you gotta don't. You're not dealing with your ex.

579
00:27:42,520 --> 00:27:46,600
Speaker 2: You're dealing with your son's father, and you want him

580
00:27:46,600 --> 00:27:49,240
Speaker 2: to behave as a good father towards your son. You're

581
00:27:49,280 --> 00:27:51,879
Speaker 2: not dealing with your ex. You're dealing with your daughter's

582
00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:54,840
Speaker 2: mother and you want her. Is she a good mother?

583
00:27:55,680 --> 00:27:56,040
Speaker 2: Is she.

584
00:27:57,680 --> 00:28:01,000
Speaker 5: Holding up the best of the child?

585
00:28:01,480 --> 00:28:02,240
Speaker 1: Not your ex?

586
00:28:03,320 --> 00:28:06,720
Speaker 5: And people they don't, They don't make those distinctions.

587
00:28:07,359 --> 00:28:10,119
Speaker 3: I have a co parenting question, yes, and we've asked

588
00:28:10,119 --> 00:28:12,280
Speaker 3: this other guests too. So I'm a I have a

589
00:28:12,280 --> 00:28:15,080
Speaker 3: two year old and me and her dad are not together.

590
00:28:15,320 --> 00:28:17,360
Speaker 3: When is the okay time to you know, if we're

591
00:28:17,440 --> 00:28:19,920
Speaker 3: dating someone else else, So in a relationship, when is

592
00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:23,399
Speaker 3: appropriate time to introduce them to the child.

593
00:28:25,640 --> 00:28:30,239
Speaker 5: To the person? You know, it really all depends on

594
00:28:30,280 --> 00:28:31,800
Speaker 5: the nature of the relationship.

595
00:28:32,040 --> 00:28:34,080
Speaker 2: But if you've been with someone I would say at

596
00:28:34,160 --> 00:28:37,960
Speaker 2: least a year and you're you're seeing this going to continue,

597
00:28:38,080 --> 00:28:40,040
Speaker 2: I say, then you need to introduce them to the

598
00:28:40,120 --> 00:28:42,800
Speaker 2: child in a public way. You all go out together,

599
00:28:43,200 --> 00:28:46,640
Speaker 2: and then you eat together, and then maybe they come over,

600
00:28:46,840 --> 00:28:49,160
Speaker 2: but they leave. You know, you have to inch this

601
00:28:49,240 --> 00:28:52,560
Speaker 2: thing in because God forbid it doesn't God, you want

602
00:28:52,600 --> 00:28:54,840
Speaker 2: this to be more of a social thing than a

603
00:28:54,880 --> 00:28:55,560
Speaker 2: committed thing.

604
00:28:55,960 --> 00:28:57,920
Speaker 5: The other thing is here, man, I don't know if

605
00:28:57,920 --> 00:28:58,560
Speaker 5: you've done this.

606
00:28:59,360 --> 00:29:00,600
Speaker 4: My child's never met anybody.

607
00:29:00,680 --> 00:29:05,000
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, but when you are co parent or when

608
00:29:05,040 --> 00:29:08,440
Speaker 2: you are parents, you have an outside uh, the child

609
00:29:08,440 --> 00:29:11,960
Speaker 2: has an outside parent, and you are in serious relationship

610
00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:15,440
Speaker 2: with somebody, and you can see moving forward, you need

611
00:29:15,480 --> 00:29:17,920
Speaker 2: to introduce your partner to the child's parent.

612
00:29:18,480 --> 00:29:20,160
Speaker 5: And I know people don't.

613
00:29:20,040 --> 00:29:22,120
Speaker 1: Like that's a tough thing, but you do need to

614
00:29:22,120 --> 00:29:23,360
Speaker 1: do that because, particularly if.

615
00:29:23,320 --> 00:29:27,480
Speaker 2: You've got daughters and you're bringing a man into your life,

616
00:29:28,400 --> 00:29:32,600
Speaker 2: got to introduce that man to your daughter's father because

617
00:29:32,600 --> 00:29:34,720
Speaker 2: it has to be a place where those two men

618
00:29:34,920 --> 00:29:39,440
Speaker 2: meet and the father needs to feel comfortable.

619
00:29:39,320 --> 00:29:41,840
Speaker 5: With your with your man around his daughters.

620
00:29:41,960 --> 00:29:44,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, and he should not be alone with your daughter.

621
00:29:44,640 --> 00:29:46,400
Speaker 4: I don't like that at all, Like I don't.

622
00:29:46,480 --> 00:29:46,840
Speaker 5: I don't.

623
00:29:47,400 --> 00:29:49,040
Speaker 4: I don't like the idea at all, like alone.

624
00:29:49,080 --> 00:29:51,800
Speaker 1: But that is tough, man, because sometimes when you break

625
00:29:51,920 --> 00:29:54,400
Speaker 1: also breaking up. You know, when you break up with somebody,

626
00:29:54,440 --> 00:29:56,600
Speaker 1: you break up with their kids too, and that can

627
00:29:56,640 --> 00:29:59,600
Speaker 1: be hard when you I just talk to someone who's

628
00:29:59,640 --> 00:30:04,120
Speaker 1: going that she just broke up with her her significant

629
00:30:04,120 --> 00:30:05,960
Speaker 1: other and they both have kids, and they had like

630
00:30:06,040 --> 00:30:09,000
Speaker 1: kind of a meshed blended situation. And now she's like

631
00:30:09,040 --> 00:30:12,400
Speaker 1: got to say goodbye to his son. Why because she

632
00:30:13,240 --> 00:30:14,959
Speaker 1: I don't know. I mean, if you guys break up,

633
00:30:15,000 --> 00:30:16,520
Speaker 1: is it a good idea? How are you going to

634
00:30:16,600 --> 00:30:18,600
Speaker 1: keep in contact with this person's.

635
00:30:18,360 --> 00:30:19,120
Speaker 5: With the child?

636
00:30:19,200 --> 00:30:19,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, with the child?

637
00:30:20,200 --> 00:30:22,840
Speaker 2: I think you should because what that does is that

638
00:30:22,960 --> 00:30:24,400
Speaker 2: lays a brick of abandonment.

639
00:30:25,080 --> 00:30:27,440
Speaker 1: See I've heard that if you guys break up, you

640
00:30:27,480 --> 00:30:30,200
Speaker 1: shouldn't still keep in contact and you should cut all

641
00:30:30,240 --> 00:30:33,000
Speaker 1: ties just because it's confusing. And then what if he

642
00:30:33,040 --> 00:30:35,760
Speaker 1: starts dating somebody else and or you're dating someone else

643
00:30:35,800 --> 00:30:38,080
Speaker 1: and you're like, why are you still keeping in contact?

644
00:30:38,080 --> 00:30:42,120
Speaker 2: Playdates with the kids and take the kid to the movies,

645
00:30:43,600 --> 00:30:46,280
Speaker 2: and this is who you are? Why do we have

646
00:30:46,320 --> 00:30:48,800
Speaker 2: to have such limited relationships?

647
00:30:49,320 --> 00:30:50,600
Speaker 5: You don't have to be up in.

648
00:30:50,440 --> 00:30:53,479
Speaker 2: His world or her world with the new person, But

649
00:30:53,600 --> 00:30:55,800
Speaker 2: the child go into the park, to the beach on

650
00:30:55,800 --> 00:30:57,480
Speaker 2: the playdate, to dinner, to lunch.

651
00:30:57,600 --> 00:31:01,200
Speaker 1: What about standing in contact with their family? Like say,

652
00:31:01,200 --> 00:31:03,960
Speaker 1: I break up at somebody and I'm cool with his mom,

653
00:31:04,160 --> 00:31:07,520
Speaker 1: his sister, but we broke up. Should I still be

654
00:31:08,120 --> 00:31:09,560
Speaker 1: if you have a relationship.

655
00:31:09,640 --> 00:31:14,120
Speaker 2: My ex partner passed away, But even before he passed away,

656
00:31:15,240 --> 00:31:18,959
Speaker 2: I had a relationship with his sister that was separate

657
00:31:19,000 --> 00:31:22,400
Speaker 2: in the part from my relationship with him. We did

658
00:31:22,440 --> 00:31:26,040
Speaker 2: things together, we you know, we had a relationship. So

659
00:31:26,200 --> 00:31:29,400
Speaker 2: even now that he's gone, when my daughter passed away,

660
00:31:29,480 --> 00:31:32,520
Speaker 2: she cooked for me because I had a friend of

661
00:31:32,600 --> 00:31:36,600
Speaker 2: relationship with her that's separate in apart from him. Okay,

662
00:31:36,720 --> 00:31:40,160
Speaker 2: if the only relationship you've had with his parents, his sister, whatever,

663
00:31:40,480 --> 00:31:43,400
Speaker 2: is the one where y'all were together and y'all break.

664
00:31:43,240 --> 00:31:45,960
Speaker 5: Up, let that go. But if you and his mom.

665
00:31:45,800 --> 00:31:48,680
Speaker 2: Played bridge, or you and his sister hang out, and

666
00:31:48,720 --> 00:31:52,200
Speaker 2: you and his dad played cards, then you should find out,

667
00:31:52,720 --> 00:31:55,840
Speaker 2: how do you want us to continue this relationship? Ask

668
00:31:55,920 --> 00:31:58,560
Speaker 2: the question of the person you had the relationship with.

669
00:31:58,720 --> 00:31:59,520
Speaker 4: Okay, that's fair.

670
00:32:00,160 --> 00:32:01,840
Speaker 5: Go over there when he's over there with his girlfriend

671
00:32:01,880 --> 00:32:02,880
Speaker 5: and the two cats.

672
00:32:04,160 --> 00:32:06,440
Speaker 1: Now listen. I know, and this is the last question.

673
00:32:06,480 --> 00:32:08,400
Speaker 1: But I know that our spot is about relationships, But

674
00:32:08,400 --> 00:32:11,680
Speaker 1: I want to also ask about friendships breaking up because

675
00:32:11,720 --> 00:32:14,760
Speaker 1: that can be yes, because that can be painful for

676
00:32:14,800 --> 00:32:15,400
Speaker 1: people too.

677
00:32:15,720 --> 00:32:19,720
Speaker 2: It is in the ending of any relationship or the

678
00:32:19,840 --> 00:32:24,320
Speaker 2: transition of any relationship, the change in nature in any relationship.

679
00:32:24,640 --> 00:32:26,680
Speaker 5: It is all difficult.

680
00:32:26,880 --> 00:32:31,280
Speaker 2: A relationship is a relationship, you know, so you should

681
00:32:31,280 --> 00:32:35,520
Speaker 2: handle it the same way. Do your forgiveness work, get

682
00:32:35,560 --> 00:32:40,880
Speaker 2: your lessons. And sometimes, particularly with friendships, you simply evolve

683
00:32:41,640 --> 00:32:44,360
Speaker 2: and it doesn't mean the friendship has to end, but

684
00:32:44,400 --> 00:32:47,720
Speaker 2: it doesn't mean how you interact will be different. And

685
00:32:48,080 --> 00:32:51,880
Speaker 2: if you don't have that conversation, that's what creates the.

686
00:32:51,880 --> 00:32:55,040
Speaker 1: Problem, right, Because sometimes it's other things like betrayal, Yes,

687
00:32:55,280 --> 00:32:57,680
Speaker 1: and you feel like the person closest to you has

688
00:32:58,040 --> 00:33:00,680
Speaker 1: the biggest ability to betray you more than anybody else.

689
00:33:00,760 --> 00:33:04,000
Speaker 1: They do, and that can happen, and do you forgive that?

690
00:33:04,120 --> 00:33:07,080
Speaker 1: Like that's a difficult thing? Like is it difficult?

691
00:33:07,200 --> 00:33:09,640
Speaker 5: It's human because.

692
00:33:09,400 --> 00:33:11,960
Speaker 1: How can you trust somebody who was supposed to be

693
00:33:12,080 --> 00:33:14,000
Speaker 1: Then it makes you feel like, well, were they ever

694
00:33:14,040 --> 00:33:14,760
Speaker 1: really my friend?

695
00:33:15,000 --> 00:33:16,760
Speaker 5: Did they? Why would you do all of that?

696
00:33:16,840 --> 00:33:18,880
Speaker 2: Why didn't you say this is an act of bad

697
00:33:18,960 --> 00:33:21,800
Speaker 2: behavior and this is not the kind of behavior that

698
00:33:21,840 --> 00:33:26,200
Speaker 2: I want in my life. You hurt me, You hurt me,

699
00:33:26,320 --> 00:33:29,680
Speaker 2: you betrayed me, and that's how I feel. And this

700
00:33:29,720 --> 00:33:33,440
Speaker 2: is going to change our relationship, it really is. And

701
00:33:33,480 --> 00:33:36,240
Speaker 2: then you figure out what that is. But you don't

702
00:33:36,280 --> 00:33:38,160
Speaker 2: have to will you ever? Were you ever?

703
00:33:38,280 --> 00:33:40,680
Speaker 5: My friend? You don't have to do all that. Let's

704
00:33:40,680 --> 00:33:42,320
Speaker 5: steal with what's present right here, right.

705
00:33:42,160 --> 00:33:45,080
Speaker 4: Now, right you make everything sound so simple.

706
00:33:46,080 --> 00:33:49,480
Speaker 5: It is if we don't do that here, if we

707
00:33:49,520 --> 00:33:51,000
Speaker 5: don't if we stay.

708
00:33:50,760 --> 00:33:54,840
Speaker 2: In the moment, right here, right now. So you know

709
00:33:54,960 --> 00:33:56,720
Speaker 2: you this is bad behavior.

710
00:33:56,760 --> 00:33:58,640
Speaker 5: I don't. I don't want this behavior in my life.

711
00:33:59,200 --> 00:34:00,560
Speaker 1: We make things more complicated.

712
00:34:00,640 --> 00:34:02,000
Speaker 4: I know I overthink.

713
00:34:02,200 --> 00:34:07,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I'm overthinking. Clean would be like you didn't

714
00:34:07,400 --> 00:34:09,160
Speaker 1: say bye? Does that mean you don't like me? You're

715
00:34:09,160 --> 00:34:09,560
Speaker 1: mad at me?

716
00:34:09,800 --> 00:34:12,440
Speaker 4: First of all, you're exaggerating.

717
00:34:13,040 --> 00:34:15,359
Speaker 5: But do you know that human beings so crazy as hell?

718
00:34:15,560 --> 00:34:17,880
Speaker 4: I'm definitely crazy for sure.

719
00:34:17,960 --> 00:34:22,680
Speaker 5: And yeah, I'm got about eight. I got about shades.

720
00:34:22,880 --> 00:34:24,440
Speaker 4: I was thinking three. But now I.

721
00:34:25,920 --> 00:34:29,200
Speaker 2: Got my Brooklyn crazy. I got my black girl crazy.

722
00:34:29,400 --> 00:34:33,040
Speaker 2: I got my old black lady crazy I got I

723
00:34:33,080 --> 00:34:36,520
Speaker 2: got my highly professional and accomplished crazy. I got my

724
00:34:36,600 --> 00:34:41,080
Speaker 2: lawyer crazy. I got my spiritual crazy. I got you know, I.

725
00:34:41,040 --> 00:34:43,239
Speaker 5: Got a lot.

726
00:34:43,280 --> 00:34:44,640
Speaker 4: Yeah, maybe I have more than I thought.

727
00:34:44,680 --> 00:34:49,600
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, she's like, I'm here to tell you. Are

728
00:34:49,600 --> 00:34:51,879
Speaker 1: you enjoying and loving this season? Of your life.

729
00:34:52,320 --> 00:35:00,319
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's not dramatic. I looked at you. It's I

730
00:35:00,440 --> 00:35:05,799
Speaker 5: feel good. But I tell you what is so, I

731
00:35:05,840 --> 00:35:07,480
Speaker 5: don't even know. I don't know what the word is.

732
00:35:08,320 --> 00:35:14,400
Speaker 5: That's the word I got it.

733
00:35:16,320 --> 00:35:20,239
Speaker 2: The depth and level of respect and regard that I

734
00:35:20,280 --> 00:35:24,080
Speaker 2: get in the world from the thirty eight years of

735
00:35:24,239 --> 00:35:26,000
Speaker 2: consistent work that I've done.

736
00:35:26,520 --> 00:35:27,640
Speaker 5: I mean, I've seen.

737
00:35:27,400 --> 00:35:33,080
Speaker 2: Some of the hard hardest, hardcore foul mouth beasts, but

738
00:35:33,120 --> 00:35:37,560
Speaker 2: when they see me Auntie, you know, mister miss Ayanla

739
00:35:37,880 --> 00:35:44,200
Speaker 2: or whatever they calling me. But so that is so exciting,

740
00:35:44,520 --> 00:35:47,760
Speaker 2: and you'll excite me like I love you. You are hooped,

741
00:35:51,640 --> 00:35:56,200
Speaker 2: you know, and how you've evolved. I love watching the youngins.

742
00:35:56,680 --> 00:35:58,239
Speaker 2: You all are so inspiring to me.

743
00:35:58,560 --> 00:36:01,400
Speaker 1: Well, listen, you are a definitely legendary. You deserve all

744
00:36:01,440 --> 00:36:04,400
Speaker 1: of the accolades that you get because you have moments

745
00:36:04,400 --> 00:36:06,160
Speaker 1: that are going to live on forever.

746
00:36:06,360 --> 00:36:06,520
Speaker 5: Yep.

747
00:36:06,760 --> 00:36:09,399
Speaker 1: When things happen in people's lives, it's like remember when

748
00:36:09,760 --> 00:36:13,120
Speaker 1: they sat down and that happened, and they bring that

749
00:36:13,239 --> 00:36:14,920
Speaker 1: back all the time. But to have made such an

750
00:36:14,920 --> 00:36:17,839
Speaker 1: impact and really help people's lives, I think that that's

751
00:36:17,880 --> 00:36:19,799
Speaker 1: what we should all be striving to do. It may

752
00:36:19,800 --> 00:36:22,239
Speaker 1: not be on the level of what you've done and

753
00:36:22,239 --> 00:36:25,040
Speaker 1: what you've been able to do for one thousands of

754
00:36:25,160 --> 00:36:28,040
Speaker 1: people firsthand, and then the millions.

755
00:36:28,160 --> 00:36:30,239
Speaker 5: You know from this, that's my goal for next year,

756
00:36:30,360 --> 00:36:34,239
Speaker 5: waking in one million. That's right?

757
00:36:34,880 --> 00:36:37,080
Speaker 4: What are what are these everything else?

758
00:36:37,440 --> 00:36:40,680
Speaker 1: What do you call those? Matter?

759
00:36:41,080 --> 00:36:44,040
Speaker 5: Nelly?

760
00:36:44,239 --> 00:36:47,040
Speaker 2: But next year, you know, next year, twenty twenty four,

761
00:36:47,600 --> 00:36:49,680
Speaker 2: they're setting it up to make us think it's going

762
00:36:49,760 --> 00:36:51,880
Speaker 2: to be so horrible and it's all about the election

763
00:36:52,000 --> 00:36:55,600
Speaker 2: in this but next year, personally, twenty twenty four is

764
00:36:55,640 --> 00:37:01,640
Speaker 2: about authority, power and money. We like that authority, power,

765
00:37:01,719 --> 00:37:06,440
Speaker 2: money within yourself and I want to awaken one million

766
00:37:06,520 --> 00:37:10,920
Speaker 2: people to the authority that they have in life, the

767
00:37:10,960 --> 00:37:13,719
Speaker 2: power that they are, and the money that they can

768
00:37:13,760 --> 00:37:14,880
Speaker 2: create and attract.

769
00:37:16,160 --> 00:37:18,200
Speaker 1: The money next year is my life. I said, money

770
00:37:18,280 --> 00:37:20,840
Speaker 1: is power, power, So that's.

771
00:37:20,640 --> 00:37:22,480
Speaker 5: Why I'm committed to I got a T shirt.

772
00:37:22,480 --> 00:37:25,680
Speaker 2: I'm gonna give you one awakening, one million, one mind,

773
00:37:25,719 --> 00:37:28,319
Speaker 2: one heart, one life, one spirit at a time. And

774
00:37:28,400 --> 00:37:31,040
Speaker 2: I'm grateful. You know you asked me the season of

775
00:37:31,040 --> 00:37:33,440
Speaker 2: my life. I don't take a pill for anything.

776
00:37:33,920 --> 00:37:34,399
Speaker 1: That's great.

777
00:37:34,440 --> 00:37:35,440
Speaker 2: I know.

778
00:37:35,480 --> 00:37:37,319
Speaker 1: That's why you got to start worrying about your health

779
00:37:37,320 --> 00:37:41,759
Speaker 1: from for me, yes too, honestly, like I had high cholesterol.

780
00:37:41,840 --> 00:37:43,360
Speaker 1: I found that out and I was like, let me

781
00:37:43,360 --> 00:37:45,359
Speaker 1: fix this, Let me fix that because I don't want

782
00:37:45,360 --> 00:37:47,400
Speaker 1: to later on have to be on medication every day.

783
00:37:47,600 --> 00:37:49,120
Speaker 5: Because I got a bad memory.

784
00:37:49,200 --> 00:37:51,200
Speaker 2: So you know, if I need to, if a pill

785
00:37:51,200 --> 00:37:53,280
Speaker 2: would save my life.

786
00:37:54,480 --> 00:37:57,080
Speaker 1: But you birth cantrol pills I missed back in the day.

787
00:37:57,280 --> 00:38:02,399
Speaker 6: I doublop and how many things you so.

788
00:38:04,160 --> 00:38:07,280
Speaker 2: Just to be able to to be of sound mind

789
00:38:07,320 --> 00:38:11,000
Speaker 2: and body, to be able to, you know, be loved

790
00:38:11,080 --> 00:38:13,720
Speaker 2: by so many people, to be able to love on

791
00:38:13,800 --> 00:38:14,680
Speaker 2: so many people.

792
00:38:15,320 --> 00:38:17,399
Speaker 5: Uh, and to enjoy it all.

793
00:38:17,640 --> 00:38:20,399
Speaker 2: You know, I have my things, although I need you

794
00:38:20,400 --> 00:38:23,040
Speaker 2: youngins to help me understand what is going on with

795
00:38:23,120 --> 00:38:23,719
Speaker 2: law and order.

796
00:38:24,760 --> 00:38:25,520
Speaker 5: They moved it.

797
00:38:26,719 --> 00:38:27,280
Speaker 1: I love.

798
00:38:27,719 --> 00:38:30,080
Speaker 6: No, you don't like that it's moved Nowhere is it

799
00:38:30,880 --> 00:38:33,680
Speaker 6: Nerve I'm supposed to be on Sundays.

800
00:38:34,160 --> 00:38:37,399
Speaker 5: I use it. I watch it when I iron man.

801
00:38:37,480 --> 00:38:38,479
Speaker 1: You can still put it on.

802
00:38:38,400 --> 00:38:38,960
Speaker 4: Your on demand.

803
00:38:39,280 --> 00:38:40,120
Speaker 5: That's not the fun.

804
00:38:40,200 --> 00:38:41,719
Speaker 4: You know, young people don't iron either. You know, we

805
00:38:41,719 --> 00:38:45,000
Speaker 4: don't iron. Every once in a while we'll do a

806
00:38:45,040 --> 00:38:45,400
Speaker 4: little We.

807
00:38:45,640 --> 00:38:50,080
Speaker 1: Don't get dressed up for nothing. This is it iron

808
00:38:51,000 --> 00:38:56,759
Speaker 1: because you're a little older elder wise woman. Season we

809
00:38:56,840 --> 00:39:00,440
Speaker 1: love it. Season you got to Madam, I don't want

810
00:39:00,480 --> 00:39:05,759
Speaker 1: to season it, madam? All right, well, thank you so much.

811
00:39:05,800 --> 00:39:07,759
Speaker 1: And when can people hear these episodes?

812
00:39:08,200 --> 00:39:11,880
Speaker 2: Every Wednesday we have a new episode on the our spot.

813
00:39:12,239 --> 00:39:12,960
Speaker 5: We've got some.

814
00:39:12,840 --> 00:39:16,920
Speaker 2: Good guests coming up, like like Ace Metaphor, okay, like

815
00:39:17,000 --> 00:39:18,880
Speaker 2: Stiffen speaks.

816
00:39:18,920 --> 00:39:19,640
Speaker 5: You know, we did.

817
00:39:19,600 --> 00:39:22,040
Speaker 2: Jada, I've got some other people and we're going to

818
00:39:22,080 --> 00:39:25,399
Speaker 2: be doing some other just getting One of the things

819
00:39:25,440 --> 00:39:27,120
Speaker 2: I want people to do is really get out of

820
00:39:27,160 --> 00:39:32,000
Speaker 2: the ancestral patterns of relationships, right, you know, generational curses

821
00:39:32,040 --> 00:39:37,160
Speaker 2: of relationships. So every Wednesday, wherever you listen to podcast,

822
00:39:37,520 --> 00:39:41,319
Speaker 2: I'm glad you're here. I'm glad that you're hew. I'm

823
00:39:41,360 --> 00:39:45,760
Speaker 2: glad that you're you're stretching learn to say no okay

824
00:39:46,000 --> 00:39:46,719
Speaker 2: from Brooklyn.

825
00:39:46,800 --> 00:39:47,560
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying.

826
00:39:48,600 --> 00:39:52,600
Speaker 5: How we do.

827
00:39:53,160 --> 00:39:55,560
Speaker 1: All right? Well, thank you so much. We appreciate you

828
00:39:55,640 --> 00:39:56,319
Speaker 1: for coming through.

829
00:39:56,400 --> 00:39:57,319
Speaker 5: Thank you for having me