Speaker 1: Trench coat. Roth was crazy. He just looked like a
Speaker 1: sex offender.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, as we grew up and we learned made
Speaker 2: As a child, we didn't have enough frame of reference.
Speaker 2: But as we grew we're like, you know, I wish
Speaker 2: they stopped doing that. But yeah, And also, do you
Speaker 2: think if you saw a human oid turtle in a
Speaker 2: trench coat? You'd be like, man, that guy was weird.
Speaker 2: Oh well, and you're just going about your day like
Speaker 2: it's not gonna happen.
Speaker 1: Maybe put some fucking shoes on, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: That'd be great. There's like a lot of other.
Speaker 3: Moves you could sorry, you could do pants. Pants would
Speaker 3: be nice.
Speaker 1: Pants were great.
Speaker 2: You have webbed feet. You got to like, come on.
Speaker 1: Because even if he didn't have pants on, then it's like, Okay,
Speaker 1: this dude's in a trench coat and nepads. That's already
Speaker 1: a problem.
Speaker 3: You got a big problem on it.
Speaker 2: That's already I'm thinking the green legs that's here, bring
Speaker 2: I see all that. Come on?
Speaker 3: The Fedora doesn't class it up enough. No, no, not
Speaker 3: to notice green legs and knee.
Speaker 1: Pads and he's stinking like pizza. Giant red flag Yah.
Speaker 3: Chips in your knees.
Speaker 2: A Kuala Bears are racist, the Moneys turkey stuff. YA
Speaker 2: can't tell me. As long as you know, I can
Speaker 2: have any man I want to. Baby, that's actual and factual.
Speaker 1: Welcome back to another episode of My Mama Told.
Speaker 3: Me, the podcast where we dive deep, deep into the
Speaker 3: pockets of black conspiracy theories.
Speaker 1: And we finally worked to prove that Shatasha Williams is
Speaker 1: not just the long gone forgotten singer of the hook
Speaker 1: of thuggish Ruggish Bone.
Speaker 2: He is in fact a founding member of the group.
Speaker 1: They were the Bone Thugs and she was the Harmony.
Speaker 1: Whoa that we didn't we I got you, Shatasha, Baby,
Speaker 1: get your head up.
Speaker 3: My name is David Border. I'm lazy Germy. Now I
Speaker 3: guess this already. He's already feeling it.
Speaker 2: I got people don't talk enough about Aunt Tasha. She said, Antasha,
Speaker 2: come on, and we said that about her, and then
Speaker 2: we they said, in the name Bone Thugs and Harmony.
Speaker 2: We know they weren't singing, come on, justice for Tasha.
Speaker 2: Thank you? BORI Can I call you Bory? Yeah, we
Speaker 2: just thought that's what I prefer it. BORI, Man, you
Speaker 2: and you're protecting black women by not forgetting what their
Speaker 2: accomplishments for what they did. Man, that's what I'm talking about.
Speaker 1: Come on, sang all of their names at the end
Speaker 1: of that song.
Speaker 3: Listen in the house, the knee bone is connected to
Speaker 3: the girl bone, and we forgot we forgot that part
Speaker 3: of the song. Oh man, that's intense. That's damn. Do
Speaker 3: you think you think they're ever sitting back and being like, damn,
Speaker 3: we really we owe her something, We really fucked her over.
Speaker 1: I feel like they must know because I have done
Speaker 1: a deep bone dive, as we all have adults here.
Speaker 3: Sure, if this was Cameron's podcast, we would have had
Speaker 3: to pause you pretty hard there. But but this ain't
Speaker 3: that podcast.
Speaker 1: Pauses there we go, poll gas, no breaks, some good.
Speaker 2: That's what I'm talking about.
Speaker 1: I just like I just talk and sometimes it's it's
Speaker 1: sometimes I talk about mouth meat stuff and it means
Speaker 1: whatever you need it to mean.
Speaker 3: You gotta put that on your website.
Speaker 1: Sometimes I talk.
Speaker 3: About mouth meat stuff that feels like a little bit
Speaker 3: of a signature detail about you. I wouldn't say it's
Speaker 3: I don't need to celebrate, It's just you know how
Speaker 3: we are excited. You've already heard his voice, our guest today.
Speaker 3: We've we've been trying to get him on for a
Speaker 3: long time and it's finally happening. And he's so funny
Speaker 3: and we're so grateful that he's here. He's a comedian,
Speaker 3: a producer, a content creator, a person of extraordinary breath
Speaker 3: and talent. He's wonderful, he's funny. You're gonna love him.
Speaker 3: Please give it up for our guests. Mister keV on stage, everybody, Man,
Speaker 3: there we go, n I got a few in there,
Speaker 3: I got a few in the.
Speaker 2: Thanks you guys for having me on the show man.
Speaker 2: I'm excited to be here, man, This is this is
Speaker 2: the way to kick off the year. You know, Hollywood.
Speaker 2: We really just started working today for real, Yo, This
Speaker 2: is like that feels like the first day back at school.
Speaker 2: And I'm glad to be doing this with y'all.
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, we're happy you're here. I was at my
Speaker 3: manager's office this morning and they said something similar to that,
Speaker 3: and I got real mad. I was like, y'all, niggas,
Speaker 3: what I didn't work for nine months? Bitch, what you
Speaker 3: mean you just getting started today?
Speaker 1: Take the first off. There's work to be done.
Speaker 3: Yeah, what the fuck are you talking about? Get your
Speaker 3: bad ass back in the office and make some calls
Speaker 3: that aren't going to turn into anything, but call them anyway.
Speaker 1: I'm trying to read for the in the House reboot.
Speaker 4: And.
Speaker 1: Just lie to me.
Speaker 2: At least tell me I made some calls. They pad
Speaker 2: tell me something.
Speaker 1: That's all.
Speaker 3: That's all I'm asking for is give me. Make me
Speaker 3: believe you. Try do that thing where a car is
Speaker 3: coming and we trot across the street and we're not
Speaker 3: going any faster than when we be walking, But but trot.
Speaker 3: Show me the trot.
Speaker 1: Good job, man, that's a big that's a big way
Speaker 1: that I show people how I care about them. Yeah,
Speaker 1: the little trot I just picked the shoulders up. The
Speaker 1: feet does not change. The feet doesn't change at all.
Speaker 1: Give your mind.
Speaker 2: That's all we're looking ass for.
Speaker 3: That's how you're getting asked for it. keV. You came
Speaker 3: to us with the conspiracy theory that uh that I
Speaker 3: don't think I had ever heard before. Bory, where do
Speaker 3: you I've heard this before? You have heard this? That's okay, great,
Speaker 3: So so I'm the only idiot here. But you said
Speaker 3: my mama told me.
Speaker 2: Never played with silver toys when there's lightning outside or
Speaker 2: you will be struck down exactly. So you know, growing
Speaker 2: up as we probably did, we're in the same generation.
Speaker 2: You know, action figures were a big part of our life.
Speaker 2: I'm saying. We didn't have we didn't have iPads and
Speaker 2: stuff like that. We had cartoon we played outside, we
Speaker 2: had acting figures. So at the time that I that
Speaker 2: I learned of this conspiracy theory, I had a Shredder,
Speaker 2: which was my prize villain. I was a big Turtles fan,
Speaker 2: you know, I had. I had a couple of legit
Speaker 2: turtles and I I ain't always get the actual toys.
Speaker 2: I got versions of them, you know, like you know,
Speaker 2: like I remember one year asked my dad for the
Speaker 2: Batman coop with with you know what I'm saying, And
Speaker 2: it came with Batman and he just got me the coop.
Speaker 2: It was in the box and the Batman was gone,
Speaker 2: and I was like, what happened to the Batman? He
Speaker 2: was like a kid in Africa. We wouldn't have nothing.
Speaker 2: I was like, but he didn't just buy like a
Speaker 2: coop Batman came in that box. Somebody had opened it
Speaker 2: and taken the Batman out and then somehow my dad
Speaker 2: just got came in the possession of the coop. But
Speaker 2: I was I have nobody to put in the in
Speaker 2: the coop, so I just had a random g I
Speaker 2: Joe man in the coop. It just didn't hit the same.
Speaker 3: He was just hanging out in the back of it. Came
Speaker 3: out and being like, y'all ain't about to throw this away, right,
Speaker 3: That's good because I know a boy who might like
Speaker 3: this quite a.
Speaker 2: Bit, this Salvation Army Christmas gifts, you know whatever it was.
Speaker 2: So he gave me like half of what I wanted.
Speaker 2: But at this time I had, you know, I had
Speaker 2: mostly off brand men. We called him men. I had
Speaker 2: mostly off brand men, just.
Speaker 1: Just legally you had to call them men.
Speaker 2: They're not a figure. And saw that toys or Rush
Speaker 2: are KB toys. They saw that place that don't even
Speaker 2: sell toys. You know what I'm saying, Oh yeah, swap
Speaker 2: G I jojo g I exactly. They adjacent, right, So
Speaker 2: but this time I had actually, if I think for
Speaker 2: like a birthday, I had like four of the actual
Speaker 2: turtles and an actual shredder. So these were like the
Speaker 2: krim Dela crim of my toys. I play with them
Speaker 2: every day. So I'm playing with them. You know what
Speaker 2: I'm saying. It's a lightning storm and the power is out.
Speaker 2: So I'm really like, oh, this is you know what
Speaker 2: I'm saying. I'm playing with these actual figures. Right. So
Speaker 2: my mom comes in and I got Shredder in my
Speaker 2: right hand. Never I don't know why this is such
Speaker 2: a vivid memory, Maybe because I was so confused by
Speaker 2: what she was saying. And she was like, she's like,
Speaker 2: what are you doing? Boy? But put that down. You
Speaker 2: know you can't play with no silver toy. You're gonna
Speaker 2: get struck down by lightning. And I looked at the
Speaker 2: shredder and I'm like, this is plastic. First of all,
Speaker 2: this is not And I was not, like I've always
Speaker 2: been kind of a smart person. I'm in my hand.
Speaker 2: I was young enough to know that this cannot cannot
Speaker 2: conduct electricity at all? There is and his shredder stuff
Speaker 2: was coming off right, you know what. I played with
Speaker 2: the toy for real. It was like brown. You know
Speaker 2: what I'm saying, It's like the color of the skin
Speaker 2: under there.
Speaker 3: You get you get Shredder in the bathtub one too
Speaker 3: many times and that ain't Shredder no more.
Speaker 2: It was just they were putting a lot of you know,
Speaker 2: high quality stuff into these men.
Speaker 3: That's just a Japanese man in football year that ain't.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, wow, I did not know that.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And the lore.
Speaker 3: I think there's a lot of lore in Ninja Turtles
Speaker 3: about where Shredder and Splinter come from, some of which
Speaker 3: suggests that they are connected directly, in some of which
Speaker 3: they didn't know each other at all. Always Shredder was
Speaker 3: like a big mob guy in Japan that then finds
Speaker 3: its way into New York somehow or something.
Speaker 1: I thought he was Italian for some reason.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna get you Turtles.
Speaker 4: That.
Speaker 2: Look, do you guys have accents on your resume? Do
Speaker 2: you have Italian accent proficient? Because if you don't have it,
Speaker 2: you need to add it. Oh no, no, no in
Speaker 2: the house. So yeah, So she was like, you know,
Speaker 2: she wasn't fussy, she was just genuinely concerned, Like put
Speaker 2: this and I'm like, I'm inside the house, the windows
Speaker 2: are closed. I was literally I didn't say any of
Speaker 2: this because she's a black mom, like you're saying, But
Speaker 2: in my head, I'm like, how is lightning gonna come
Speaker 2: through the world, avoid all the objects outside that are
Speaker 2: actual silver catalytic converters, everything that's in the world. Go
Speaker 2: through my closed window and see this plastic shredder in
Speaker 2: my hand and strike me with lightning. Like I just
Speaker 2: was like, there's no way this could be true. But
Speaker 2: I put it down. I picked up like rock Steady Beatbob.
Speaker 2: She was like, all I know that.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 2: Those are purple.
Speaker 3: You know was a decent lightning fearing man. Go ahead,
Speaker 3: enjoy yourself in the dark.
Speaker 2: But I just like I remember, I never bought into it,
Speaker 2: like I don't have foil, I don't have a fork.
Speaker 2: This is a plastic man with more plastic that is
Speaker 2: just colored to look like silver, you know, saying I
Speaker 2: can't die. And I never heard no other parents say that.
Speaker 2: That was the first. It's actually interesting that Bory had
Speaker 2: heard that because I wasn't like at the other friend's
Speaker 2: house and they were like, man, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: Mom was on that, Like, I never heard that before
Speaker 2: or from anybody else. But it's good to know that
Speaker 2: that it's not that unusual.
Speaker 1: I've heard it just with metal in general, silver and specific.
Speaker 1: I had just heard it in metal. Don't be fucking.
Speaker 2: Around, oh got it?
Speaker 1: Yeah, lightning outside.
Speaker 3: I think that's what I had heard as well, is
Speaker 3: like you can like be running around with forks when
Speaker 3: you when it's lightning outside.
Speaker 1: To be completely honest, I don't have any silver in
Speaker 1: the house now, I'm thirty six years old, Like I don't.
Speaker 3: Have We got to get you some silver.
Speaker 2: Oh, you're not so much silver right now? You got
Speaker 2: so much silver? You got somebody.
Speaker 3: You gotta have silver in your house.
Speaker 1: You I don't believe you.
Speaker 3: No, I don't have an ounce of silver exactly. Trust Yeah,
Speaker 3: you're going crazy, you're doing good.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I had always heard metal, like avoid obviously metal objects
Speaker 3: holding metal during lightning sums. I had never heard silver specifically,
Speaker 3: and I certainly had never then spread that out to
Speaker 3: even silver appearing objects. Do you think that silver there
Speaker 3: was a specific reasoning for silver for your mom?
Speaker 2: You know, it's funny, that'll make sense. I feel like
Speaker 2: maybe through the grape vine somebody said metal, and she
Speaker 2: just was like, silver's metal. I'm just gonna take the
Speaker 2: metal part out on the silver because I never questioned
Speaker 2: that part until today. Metal. I would have believed her
Speaker 2: even and the thing I think it was messed with
Speaker 2: me is the toy was plastic. So I was just like,
Speaker 2: this doesn't make any sense. But you know, how do
Speaker 2: black parents learn anything? Right? Like, I'm the Internet's really
Speaker 2: interesting because I'm realizing, like there's this meme that goes
Speaker 2: vie everyone to the while. It's like if you had
Speaker 2: this cover you was black, and it's like a blanket
Speaker 2: I recognize, And I'm like, how did so many black?
Speaker 2: Where was this manufactured? Like so, I feel like that
Speaker 2: information came through like that, like the way those cookies
Speaker 2: became tens for like so and like who makes Who's
Speaker 2: the first person that does that? Why do we black
Speaker 2: people so many of us have that shared experience that
Speaker 2: you know, there's no cookies in the cookie team, but
Speaker 2: there's like SOE in equipment or whatever. But I think
Speaker 2: it was one of those things, Like I don't know
Speaker 2: how this information got around, but.
Speaker 3: It does speak to the fact that, like to some extent,
Speaker 3: the black community that we refer to did exist in
Speaker 3: a much more active way when we were kids and
Speaker 3: obviously when our parents were kids and all of that shit,
Speaker 3: in part because they were all learning from the same
Speaker 3: six like templates of people where it's like everybody just
Speaker 3: learned the same six things, so we are in fact
Speaker 3: a community, and now the Internet sort of disrupts the
Speaker 3: ability for that to even be true anything, you.
Speaker 1: Know what I mean? Yeah, for sure. I feel like
Speaker 1: a lot of my life I've got, I've taken so
Speaker 1: much word is back from just like a dude sitting
Speaker 1: on the hood of a car.
Speaker 3: Yeah he has a car.
Speaker 2: I guess the confidence is key man man.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I remember my mom once told me that, uh,
Speaker 3: that Aretha Franklin's son had run off with what his name,
Speaker 3: that he was the army dude in fucking different world
Speaker 3: And I can't remember his fucking name now, but he's
Speaker 3: a very fantastic actor.
Speaker 2: Louis Janes. Yeah, yes, mister Lewis.
Speaker 3: God, damn, I'm gonna be dude. Yeah, he was in
Speaker 3: Fargo season five. Glenn Turman, Yes, yeah, Glenn Turman. My
Speaker 3: mom told me for years that Glenn Turman had had
Speaker 3: like a secret affair with Aretha franklin son. They had
Speaker 3: run off together, and and that was why her and
Speaker 3: Glenn Turman didn't make it and all this ship and
Speaker 3: I've never even looked up to verify if there's any
Speaker 3: truth to that. And I've never heard anyone else make
Speaker 3: that claim. It was just my mom saying it.
Speaker 1: Did you come home? We believed everybody was related. We
Speaker 1: were one of those like Ali was for sure, Mohammed
Speaker 1: Ali's daughter. What I quoted that too recently?
Speaker 3: Yeah, And they look it up and you're like, oh, no,
Speaker 3: I don't think so.
Speaker 1: I think it's because I was like, well, there's not
Speaker 1: that many famous black people. They must be related.
Speaker 2: Half down the line, I got to connect someone at
Speaker 2: some point.
Speaker 1: There's a lot of Smith's, a lot of Jackson. Is
Speaker 1: that crazy?
Speaker 2: Oh my god?
Speaker 3: So so your mom says this to you, You agree
Speaker 3: to disagree, but you put down the shredder. Have you
Speaker 3: carried any of this onward in your life? Have you
Speaker 3: since been like weirdly superstitious or nervous around silver objects
Speaker 3: in a lightning storm despite what you know logically to
Speaker 3: be untrue inside of this.
Speaker 2: No, absolutely not. I think, as hard as it is
Speaker 2: to admit, I didn't believe my mom. I just could
Speaker 2: not defy her. And I think those are two separate things. Oh,
Speaker 2: in my mind, I was just like, this is just
Speaker 2: not true. But you know, small black children didn't really
Speaker 2: have a voice. Growing up the way we we did,
Speaker 2: we really couldn't question our parents. But I remember being like,
Speaker 2: this is just not true. And if she weren't here,
Speaker 2: I would be playing with this, and if I got
Speaker 2: struck by lightning, I would have been really surprised like that.
Speaker 2: It was. It's crazy.
Speaker 1: Let me tell you, as far as my family, large
Speaker 1: black men don't have much of a voice. I'm still
Speaker 1: not pushing the line on things. She says, Really, she's listening,
Speaker 1: she had a heart, she's from a different country. I just, yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't know. Maybe that's maybe they are sneaky. I don't.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, my mom just trying to FaceTime me.
Speaker 2: That's you fucked up on it, bro on it.
Speaker 3: Baby girl figured out how to get a feed and
Speaker 3: she's she's listening to her exactly what you said.
Speaker 1: Yeah, she's listening. I'll call you back on.
Speaker 3: We're calling upon you because we have new merch. We
Speaker 3: have very exciting merch that we are now selling and
Speaker 3: it's it's fucking great. We love it so much.
Speaker 1: Just sleek, it's sexy.
Speaker 3: Come on, you want to tell them what we have?
Speaker 1: Yeah, we have three different types of hats, which is
Speaker 1: really fun. We have a two tone hat, an alien
Speaker 1: dad hat the traditional logo in black and khaki. Then
Speaker 1: we have the enamel pin with an alien who has
Speaker 1: a coofie on it since my mama told me. And
Speaker 1: then we have t shirts that say proud little Mama,
Speaker 1: which is who you are.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you can buy the merch now, go to Ma
Speaker 3: Mama told me dot Merchcentral dot com where you can
Speaker 3: see all of our merch. You can buy ship and
Speaker 3: we want you to have all the sweet stuff, so
Speaker 3: get it.
Speaker 1: I have a question for you, guys, yes, specifically to this,
Speaker 1: because this this one is big for me. How afraid
Speaker 1: of electricity were you as a child?
Speaker 2: Though, Oh man, I have a funny story about this
Speaker 2: that I haven't thought about in a long time. I
Speaker 2: was a bright kid, but also not the brightest at all.
Speaker 2: So upon learning about conducting electricity and metal and stuff
Speaker 2: and how you shouldn't put forks in sockets, I went
Speaker 2: home immediately one day and was like, Nah, ain't no way.
Speaker 2: And I promised, y'all, as God is my witness, this
Speaker 2: happened for real. Oh No, went home for school that day,
Speaker 2: Take a fork, mediate sock, go to my room, close
Speaker 2: the first socket, that. I love that.
Speaker 3: First of all, I love that you needed privacy for.
Speaker 1: He turned the lights down.
Speaker 3: Light of candle. Yeah, put that little rolls on that
Speaker 3: you were talking about earlier. And now is forking socket time?
Speaker 2: Com please me.
Speaker 3: You'll never find a fork like.
Speaker 2: So yeah, close the door, take this fork immediately, go
Speaker 2: to the socket and no, no, no condom, no for play.
Speaker 2: Jam it in on the socket right and I promise you.
Speaker 2: I saw a bubble like I got shocked immediately, and
Speaker 2: I saw what felt like a bubble the size of
Speaker 2: like you remember those little like things you buy a
Speaker 2: toy and you take them. So probably like half of
Speaker 2: that bubble go up my forearm all the way up here.
Speaker 2: Immediately I knew I was a superhero.
Speaker 1: I said that.
Speaker 2: I was like, oh my god, this is my because
Speaker 2: you know, we watching X Men and Spider Man, they
Speaker 2: all have that like event. And I spent the rest
Speaker 2: of the day trying to like, you know, kind of
Speaker 2: like a Toby Maguire Spider Man like. I was like,
Speaker 2: how do I get the electricity? I don't realize I
Speaker 2: nearly probably killed myself.
Speaker 3: I am like, You're like, no, I know it's in me.
Speaker 1: I just know how to activate.
Speaker 2: Figure out how to activate this electric like I should
Speaker 2: be flying, the electron should be flowing through me. I
Speaker 2: am a science experiment now my hero or villain, it depends.
Speaker 2: I don't know. It's too early to tell. The first
Speaker 2: thing I gotta do is get these powers under control.
Speaker 2: It's spent like the whole afternoon doing that. Initially, I
Speaker 2: just was like, man, I'm kind of hungry, and I
Speaker 2: just made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and never
Speaker 2: revisited that moment.
Speaker 3: First of all, I'm sorry that that happened to you.
Speaker 3: I was hopeful too. I was hopeful that that story
Speaker 3: ended with you having electric powers.
Speaker 1: Now it feels like an origin story for sure.
Speaker 2: I was right there, man, the Spider bit me, I
Speaker 2: fell into the vat of science liquid and I just
Speaker 2: know hours Man, Yeah, you did all.
Speaker 3: Right, though, we did alright for yourself.
Speaker 2: I too.
Speaker 3: As a child, I wasn't as afraid of it as
Speaker 3: much as I wanted to be able to access some
Speaker 3: powers and so many of like great superheroes tend to
Speaker 3: come from like weird accidents like that. Yeah, Like the
Speaker 3: Flash was my favorite growing up, Like I wanted to
Speaker 3: be the Yeah, I was like I'm a run fast
Speaker 3: and so there would be times I wasn't brave enough
Speaker 3: to stick a fork in a socket. But there were times,
Speaker 3: and I remember this specifically, where like we moved to
Speaker 3: this neighborhood called Bellwood, which is like outside of Chicago.
Speaker 3: It's like a more black neighborhood than I was living
Speaker 3: in at the previous to that, and I would go
Speaker 3: outside and race cars. Like I would sit like in
Speaker 3: front of my house and wait till cars were passing,
Speaker 3: and then I would just run full speed next to cars,
Speaker 3: being like, yeah, I'm a fucking beat this car. And
Speaker 3: then at one point it was like a weird hour
Speaker 3: of the day where I'm racing a car and a
Speaker 3: dude yelled out, the fuck are you doing it? I
Speaker 3: was like, I can't. I guess I ain't got no powers.
Speaker 3: I don't think I'm a race cars. No more goud.
Speaker 2: A took was one random outburst for you to stop
Speaker 2: your dream.
Speaker 3: I was like, this ain't superpowers. This is this is accountability,
Speaker 3: and I'm meeting it.
Speaker 1: I was afraid. I didn't think I could get a superpowers.
Speaker 1: But I have a very specific reason. I was afraid
Speaker 1: of electricity. I was a big latchkey kid, right, And
Speaker 1: if you were a latchkiy kid, it was don't cook
Speaker 1: was like the big thing, right, do not cook. Don't
Speaker 1: fucking cook. So mom was gone, I cook immediately.
Speaker 2: Because we.
Speaker 1: Didn't have anything good in the house. So after school
Speaker 1: we didn't have anything good. I was like, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: make a tuna fish sandwich. But I was like, let
Speaker 1: me church this up a bit. You know what's you know,
Speaker 1: it's better than a tuna's fish sandwich. Hot tuna melt right,
Speaker 1: not wrong, I'm saying saying it turned out smart. So
Speaker 1: I fucking I took the can off, I drained the juice,
Speaker 1: and then I was like, I'll just throw the can
Speaker 1: in the microwave. Oh no, Like I just throw the
Speaker 1: can in the microwave to heat it up.
Speaker 2: Right, Oh god no.
Speaker 1: And I put it in there and I'm sitting because
Speaker 1: I'm I could have been more than eight or nine.
Speaker 1: I'm sitting about three inches away from that bitch. And
Speaker 1: there was like four seconds and maybe there was like
Speaker 1: a lightning bolt that went from the top of the
Speaker 1: can to the side of the can, and it was like,
Speaker 1: oh bright, and it hurt my eyes and I backed up.
Speaker 1: And ever since then, I've been so afraid of I
Speaker 1: fucking because I thought the whole house was gonna burn down.
Speaker 1: And ever since said I've been so afraid of electricity, I.
Speaker 2: Say, afraid of tuna. Like you know what, man, I've
Speaker 2: been nowhere near tuna ever since that album car away
Speaker 2: from me.
Speaker 1: If anything, I doubled down anything that day or were
Speaker 1: you know, I just pulled it out and made it
Speaker 1: a cold man.
Speaker 2: Not deter your life. Okay, that's out.
Speaker 5: I'm just going yeah, you ate that radiated tuna. Yeah,
Speaker 5: Jesus Christ. It wasn't like we had a bunch to
Speaker 5: just like throw around, you know what I mean. I
Speaker 5: already had a plan.
Speaker 3: You took a big swing, you could you can.
Speaker 1: Just skip it? Hilarious, man, Man, I remember how I
Speaker 1: scared the ship out of me.
Speaker 2: That's great.
Speaker 3: So you didn't get the lightning powers that you dreamt of.
Speaker 3: You don't believe necessarily that that your mom was correcting
Speaker 3: all of this? Where where do you stand now in
Speaker 3: all of this? What are you telling your children? Your father?
Speaker 3: What are you telling your children as it relates to
Speaker 3: lightning and experimentation with forks and sockets and whatnot?
Speaker 2: You know what. Shoot, my kids are seventeen and fifteen.
Speaker 2: I realized I've never had a conversation with them about
Speaker 2: any of the safety of lightning period. Man. I think
Speaker 2: also because like my their generation didn't grow up outside
Speaker 2: as much as we did, so they're never like I
Speaker 2: can't even say they've ever been outdoors in a lightning storm,
Speaker 2: thunder lightning storm when they weren't like in a car
Speaker 2: or something. So I never had to pass that along.
Speaker 2: It's so interesting how the thing about parenthood that really
Speaker 2: messes with my mind is like the money, but in
Speaker 2: addition to that, it's like, for better for worse, you
Speaker 2: really are responsible for somebody's worldview, like how they start
Speaker 2: off seeing the world. Then they either have to accept
Speaker 2: that change it. Like my mom was like, this is
Speaker 2: the thing about lightning, kid, you know what I'm saying,
Speaker 2: And I had to reject that. But at least she
Speaker 2: put us, you know, she puts something out there, And
Speaker 2: I feel like that's the wildest thing about parenthood is like, bro,
Speaker 2: I don't even know what's happening in the world. Don't
Speaker 2: listen to me. I don't know. I didn't know how
Speaker 2: good I'm doing it as a parent, just just I
Speaker 2: remember one time it was really funny. I messed with
Speaker 2: my kids about this. We had like a what does
Speaker 2: an animal sound? You know, we were doing that like
Speaker 2: it was like a little picture ball. No, no, it
Speaker 2: was like a picture book. It was like cow. You're
Speaker 2: like teaching them and I would be like, cow, the
Speaker 2: cow says, move right. And I remember getting to like giraffe,
Speaker 2: and I was like, you know, the draft does it
Speaker 2: make a sound that we noticed? And I remember thinking,
Speaker 2: and I did this. I was like, I'm gonna make
Speaker 2: up a draft down and I hope my kids go
Speaker 2: to school and fight to the nail because they're gonna
Speaker 2: believe me. So I was like, and the draft says.
Speaker 2: And I did that all the time. I made up
Speaker 2: like alligators, any animal that didn't have a sound. For sure.
Speaker 2: I was just like, and the crocodile says. And I
Speaker 2: wanted them to just go to school or daycare. And
Speaker 2: he like, no, man, my dad said, and he's right.
Speaker 2: He was running about cows. He was righting about birds
Speaker 2: and ducks.
Speaker 3: You know, like, why would he lie tell me that?
Speaker 3: It couldn't possibly be because of his insecurity. You couldn't
Speaker 3: mean because he don't know nothing.
Speaker 1: That's one member of this panel who's not a father.
Speaker 1: I think you did the right thing. I believe I
Speaker 1: want to not respect you. Think you don't know anything
Speaker 1: about nature. My dad doesn't even know what a giraffe
Speaker 1: sounds like. He's supposed to keep me safe in the world.
Speaker 1: You don't even know about a giraffe noise.
Speaker 3: If you want to run my household, you better know
Speaker 3: what a giraffe.
Speaker 2: Better make it up, man, until we see one and
Speaker 2: we're proven otherwise. And I remember we went to the
Speaker 2: zoo one time and they were like, they're not doing
Speaker 2: the sound. I was like, man, they're maybe tired or something.
Speaker 1: Oh he's sick.
Speaker 3: This is just a problem with zoos. They sedate the animals.
Speaker 3: They're not themselves here. We got to see in nature.
Speaker 1: When we go to Africa, these are in captivity.
Speaker 2: Man, Like, I don't even know this is true. But
Speaker 2: did y'all watch Blackfish, the documentary about World. Oh yeah,
Speaker 2: so you know. I went to see World all the
Speaker 2: time as a kid, and I remember that. I remember
Speaker 2: the dorsal finn thing specifically, it's like flapped over in
Speaker 2: SeaWorld and we were you know, the kids always asked,
Speaker 2: and they will say, oh, you know, they made up
Speaker 2: something like oh yeah, this happens a lot with these
Speaker 2: type of whales. And then in Blackfish they were like
Speaker 2: that never happens. Ever, it only happened that SeaWorld. I
Speaker 2: remember being like, oh my god, I just I believe
Speaker 2: these people because they work with the well. It never
Speaker 2: crossed my mind that they could be its bias and propaganda.
Speaker 2: It's big, big Sea World wants to frame little children's
Speaker 2: behind and like that's what parent hass like, like somebody
Speaker 2: just says something and goes with it, so confidently you
Speaker 2: question them.
Speaker 3: Listen, kids, his dorsal fin has flipped that way because
Speaker 3: he's having too much fun. He's doubled over. You ever
Speaker 3: had too many Skittles? Kids, That's what he feels like.
Speaker 2: And we don't know enough to challenge them. Man, they
Speaker 2: have to know them with them all day.
Speaker 3: I mean, they were beating this ship out the whales
Speaker 3: honestly struggling to keep his fin up.
Speaker 1: I'm not pro that, but they did a good job
Speaker 1: because SeaWorld was funny, shit brot to go. Man. The
Speaker 1: dolphins showed SeaWorld is one of the top five experiences
Speaker 1: of my whole life.
Speaker 2: All right, guys, I shouldn't do this. I should not
Speaker 2: do this. We're already having a great time. I watched
Speaker 2: that documentary with my wife and I was like, if
Speaker 2: I never knew this, I would never know this. So
Speaker 2: we went to vacation in Florida, like I don't know,
Speaker 2: two years ago, and they were like, we got tickets
Speaker 2: to Seaword, Man, we should go, and I was just like, yes,
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna rob my children. At least a have
Speaker 2: to watch black people and know them lie. But they
Speaker 2: gotta see it. Well do you have to? Man? I'm sorry,
Speaker 2: see world is still open. The documentary didn't do enough damage.
Speaker 4: Man.
Speaker 2: People were like, oh, that's crazy, but it's still doing well.
Speaker 1: And you gotta know the steaks. You gotta know the
Speaker 1: steaks you go. Then you gotta choose. You have to
Speaker 1: know how much fun you had. But then you have
Speaker 1: to be like, all right, now, I choose because otherwise
Speaker 1: you never even got to have that fun.
Speaker 3: And that's probably my issue is I've I've chosen not
Speaker 3: to do it, but it's only because I've never tried
Speaker 3: that sweet Sea World cocaine, you know what I mean. Like,
Speaker 3: I've never sweet, gotten a taste.
Speaker 2: It's good. It seems like it's I feel so bad,
Speaker 2: but I'm like, man, man, it is cool.
Speaker 1: Though.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, man, there's so many We just gotta be
Speaker 2: honest with ourselves. Man, we are we are not perfect people.
Speaker 2: We're flawed individuals. And I let capitalism get the best
Speaker 2: of me. And I was all in for like years
Speaker 2: when I saw that. It was like years I didn't
Speaker 2: take kids to see world. But you know, I was
Speaker 2: weak in that moment and I had We had the
Speaker 2: best time. It's amazing. It's amazing. It's amazing. Maybe feel
Speaker 2: more guilty, like if it was terrible out of it, like, man,
Speaker 2: this is man, I shouldn't even But because it was
Speaker 2: so good, I was. I mean, the food was good.
Speaker 3: The rides, we watched, the show we ate Whale, it was.
Speaker 3: It was a hell of a time.
Speaker 1: But listen, here's what I argue. Is that not the
Speaker 1: mark of a truly great father. You took the burden
Speaker 1: of that on you, and you internalized it. You didn't
Speaker 1: catch down generational blackfis trauma. You said, no, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: let these little kids enjoy it. I know the evil
Speaker 1: that works with them.
Speaker 3: That's nice.
Speaker 1: I'm a hero.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't think.
Speaker 3: I don't think our listeners are gonna agree. But that's
Speaker 3: nothing about that. All right, we have to take a break.
Speaker 1: We'll be back when we have on stage and more.
Speaker 1: Ma Mama told.
Speaker 3: Me we're calling upon you because we have we have
Speaker 3: new merch. We have very exciting merch that we are
Speaker 3: now selling and it's it's fucking great. We love it
Speaker 3: so much.
Speaker 1: Just sleek, it's sexy.
Speaker 3: Come on, you want to tell them what we have?
Speaker 1: Yeah, we have three different types of hats, which is
Speaker 1: really fun. We have a two tone hat, an alien
Speaker 1: dad hat, the traditional logo in black and khaki. Then
Speaker 1: we have the enamel pin with an alien who has
Speaker 1: a coofie on it. Since my mama told me. And
Speaker 1: then we have t shirts that say proud little Mama,
Speaker 1: which is who you are.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you can buy the merch now, go to Ma
Speaker 3: Mama told me dot Merchcentral dot com where you can
Speaker 3: see all of our merch. You can buy ship and
Speaker 3: we want you to have all the sweet stuff, so
Speaker 3: get it.
Speaker 4: It feces thrown all over the walls, the floor, the ceiling, and.
Speaker 1: We are back with Michael Jackson.
Speaker 3: It was it was a real clip.
Speaker 2: I've never heard that or something.
Speaker 3: If I'm not mistaken, it was something relating to the
Speaker 3: Second Trial. I feel like it has something to do
Speaker 3: with with the Second Trial because that was the that
Speaker 3: was the era if we if I'm remembering correctly, where
Speaker 3: Michael Jackson had linked up with Johnny cochrane and they
Speaker 3: were sort of playing him heavy as a black artist
Speaker 3: being mistreated. Uh, they did the same OJ ship where
Speaker 3: they're like, this is a racial issue. And I think
Speaker 3: it had something to do with people like abusing him
Speaker 3: or mistreating him and and like giving him a shitty
Speaker 3: boo boo room or something like that.
Speaker 2: Do man play it one more time?
Speaker 1: I was hoping you would say.
Speaker 4: That, yeah, there was doo dooo feces thrown all over
Speaker 4: the walls, the floor, the ceiling in a stunk.
Speaker 2: So I went forty years and I've never heard.
Speaker 1: What I like.
Speaker 3: What I like most is that he says there was
Speaker 3: doo dooo feces, as if they are some sort of conjunction,
Speaker 3: that it is a that to say one, you cannot
Speaker 3: say one without the other. It was doodoo fecis.
Speaker 1: I mean, I think there's levels and we can all
Speaker 1: agree that sometimes you do do sometimes feces.
Speaker 2: I feel like it's only used in medical terms. Yeah,
Speaker 2: but it's so black that Michael Jackson says doodoo like that.
Speaker 3: Hey, he's a black man.
Speaker 2: I imagine him not in character like man, there's doodoo everywhere, man,
Speaker 2: Michael Jackson, Man, you got doodle, You got fs over here?
Speaker 6: Come on you eighty million albums? You think Prince got
Speaker 6: dooty word as well? I own the fucking Beatles catalog?
Speaker 2: What is wrong with y'all?
Speaker 6: I got a monkey, nigga monkey doodle.
Speaker 2: He no better than don't do that? Mean I wish
Speaker 2: brothers one. Don't doodle at me. I kill him dead.
Speaker 2: I don't do like that.
Speaker 1: He ships in a toilet like an adult.
Speaker 3: What a wild We were talking about Sea World earlier.
Speaker 3: What a wild time where we were just letting regular
Speaker 3: citizens own exotic animals, so take them to award shows.
Speaker 1: And she's such a dangerous practice. Because I grew up
Speaker 1: thinking like I thought that. As a kid, I was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I funk around, I can get a monkey.
Speaker 2: That was my dream.
Speaker 3: I was gonna get a monkey, yeah, one hundred per
Speaker 3: and I was gonna get a spider monkey.
Speaker 2: See this is fucked up.
Speaker 1: In hindsight, I think I wanted a chimp, which is
Speaker 1: the danger most one that kills you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I seen a chimp rip some dudes head.
Speaker 2: He ripped the scalp off you. It not in real life,
Speaker 2: it was on it was on the internet. He was like,
Speaker 2: you know those places, but we're gonna pet the monkeys,
Speaker 2: and the monkey like grabbed his head and just rip
Speaker 2: fuck and it was like white meat. And I was like,
Speaker 2: I'm not doing that no more. I used to want
Speaker 2: to go to Thailand and do that, and now I'm like,
Speaker 2: I'm unaware of monkey strength. And I've seen Planet of
Speaker 2: the Apes, but I ain't seen head to the white
Speaker 2: meat and one fell swoop.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I mean because Player of the Apes is
Speaker 1: more about their mental strength. Physically, that's a worthy opponent.
Speaker 3: They're formidable.
Speaker 2: This is great, a good time perform Like he imagine
Speaker 2: somebody hopping into this podcast at this moment in here.
Speaker 2: You know, physically they're a formative poet Jim bar.
Speaker 3: Anyway, that and then they get off and they're like,
Speaker 3: what is that podcast about?
Speaker 4: It?
Speaker 3: Like black conspiracy theories. I think it's black people and
Speaker 3: conspiracy theories. But sometimes they talk about strong ass monkeys.
Speaker 2: And Michael Jackson saying Dodo, Man, it all makes sense
Speaker 2: if you heard the whole episode.
Speaker 3: You can't skip around, giving around enjoy the thing.
Speaker 1: No, you gotta buckle and we're not a dalliance.
Speaker 3: Yeah, keV, I did some research on your conspiracy theory
Speaker 3: that I would love to unpack with you. I went
Speaker 3: to the National Weather Service website to review some of
Speaker 3: the songs and myths about lightning, and uh, they do
Speaker 3: feeld a lot of weird questions, including if crouching down
Speaker 3: or lying down in the center of a field during
Speaker 3: a storm will keep you safe. Uh, And I assure
Speaker 3: you all it does not. It in fact, just makes
Speaker 3: you dumb and looks silly. They lying down especially as
Speaker 3: dangerous because if lightning strikes nearby, the electric current that
Speaker 3: moves through the ground, it's just like has a better
Speaker 3: chance of spreading through your whole body.
Speaker 1: Oh that's dope, I have some more to be scared of.
Speaker 1: That's good, that's what.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, So don't lie down thinking.
Speaker 2: You jump that's a good question.
Speaker 1: That is a good question.
Speaker 2: You're weighing like I'm jumping, so I'm closer to the lightning.
Speaker 2: But if it misses me and hits the ground, I'm
Speaker 2: not part of the conducted electricity.
Speaker 3: It wasn't. It wasn't in their questions, but I'm happy
Speaker 3: to submit that one. Afterwards, I'll also submit can you
Speaker 3: pray the lightning away? Let's let's just hit all the
Speaker 3: silliest ones we can find. Oh my god. One of
Speaker 3: the things that they say, though, is that it is
Speaker 3: dangerous to be outside in all circumstances during a lightning storm. However,
Speaker 3: they say the closest thing to a safe alternative we
Speaker 3: have is being in your actual house. So you were
Speaker 3: already doing the right thing by being in a home
Speaker 3: with all of your electricity turned off. And they say
Speaker 3: that the only time that it actually is dangerous in
Speaker 3: your house of being struck by lightning is if you.
Speaker 1: Are around the electric slide.
Speaker 3: Yeah, if you're doing the electric slide.
Speaker 2: Especially the part where we go like.
Speaker 1: That's the production, that's the conduction.
Speaker 3: If you strike while it's striking, that's man.
Speaker 2: You're done. You are calling for lightning if you're doing that.
Speaker 1: That's what it started out. It was a Native American
Speaker 1: lightning dance. We co opted it. A lot of people
Speaker 1: don't know.
Speaker 3: You can't see it. It's electric, but they say that
Speaker 3: the the one time that it is dangerous is that
Speaker 3: if you are around something that conducts electricity. So they
Speaker 3: ask you to avoid corded phones if you're still doing
Speaker 3: that shit, electrical appliances, wires, t be cables, computers, plumbing,
Speaker 3: metal doors and windows. No mention of silver shredder toys
Speaker 3: on the list.
Speaker 1: Here's a question that I have immediately. This is where
Speaker 1: my yep, you say plumbing. Now, let's say I am
Speaker 1: taking one of the aforementioned dodoos.
Speaker 3: One of one of Michael's infamous doodoos.
Speaker 1: And I'm spling now, so you understand that I'm being
Speaker 1: very serious. Yeah, is there a possibility of lightning striking
Speaker 1: my booty hole?
Speaker 3: I'm gonna go so far as to say the booty
Speaker 3: hole is not the the threat.
Speaker 2: There.
Speaker 3: There are stories of people being in lightning strikes while
Speaker 3: taking showers. It seems like showers are more of a
Speaker 3: threat than Okay, the lightning shooting up the toilet into
Speaker 3: your booty hole.
Speaker 2: It's gotta scoop pass, get out the sides of the.
Speaker 1: Bull if you do it right.
Speaker 3: The dude who move out the way.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I have a lot of iron in.
Speaker 2: Oh my god.
Speaker 3: It does sound though like if I were using a
Speaker 3: process of elimination, which I imagine your mother may have been
Speaker 3: doing at the time, that maybe if you turned out
Speaker 3: all the lights, and you've turned out all the things
Speaker 3: that in theory conduct electricity, and you additionally had to
Speaker 3: consider other things that might be a threat to your child,
Speaker 3: something shimmery and or silver would fall into like a
Speaker 3: safer category. Then let's say trench coat, Raphael, you know
Speaker 3: what I mean, like Native American, Michaelangelo, whatever the other
Speaker 3: alternatives you had in your house. One of the other
Speaker 3: things that I wanted to look up, and this was
Speaker 3: pretty exciting, actually, is that apparently I wanted to look
Speaker 3: up weird stories or any same stories of lightning strikes,
Speaker 3: and there are some pretty weird ones. And apparently the
Speaker 3: person who has been struck the most by lightning is
Speaker 3: a man named Roy Cleveland Sullivan, who worked as a
Speaker 3: park ranger in Shenandoah Shenandoah Shenandoah Okay hell Yeah National
Speaker 3: Park in Virginia between nineteen forty two and nineteen seventy seven,
Speaker 3: and he claims to have been struck by lightning. Hold
Speaker 3: for for the drum roll seven times. Seven times he
Speaker 3: was struck by lightning and survived all the go I'm
Speaker 3: seeing some skepticism on your faces.
Speaker 1: Well, I first of all want to make light of
Speaker 1: the fact that you thought it might be doaha.
Speaker 2: He just announced it twice, Shenandoah Shadua. If you hadn't
Speaker 2: corrected him, he might They're still telling how many different
Speaker 2: ways he could have went with that.
Speaker 3: Fellas I was going to he making noises till I
Speaker 3: till I made it feel right.
Speaker 1: The rookie outside linebacker.
Speaker 3: Just a nice simoen man who moved to the States
Speaker 3: to play football.
Speaker 2: Man. But seven times that's document who was there.
Speaker 3: So that's the thing.
Speaker 1: It's rare.
Speaker 3: I think that lightning strikes and there's just somebody there
Speaker 3: being like, whoa, you got a struk.
Speaker 2: By lightning, just like it was just crazy Roy.
Speaker 3: You are on a roll, my man, I got child.
Speaker 3: He did have a number of sort of like artifacts
Speaker 3: to sort of demonstrate or like things that that he
Speaker 3: had to show for it. Like twice, I think he
Speaker 3: got struck on the top of his head and it
Speaker 3: like singed the middle of his his ranger hat and
Speaker 3: basically burned a hole in the and at one point
Speaker 3: lit his hair on fire. So all of that stuff
Speaker 3: is documented. And I don't know that he did that independently,
Speaker 3: you know what I mean. I don't think that he
Speaker 3: was just like fucking around and lighting his hair on
Speaker 3: fire on his own, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: So this leads to my next question, how much silver
Speaker 1: did my man have on him? Oh?
Speaker 2: He was drippy lying with shredder toys. You need to
Speaker 2: find out if he was an avid shredder collector. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and he's just like, under no circumstances I ever live
Speaker 2: in the house without these. I don't care how many
Speaker 2: times I would rather die.
Speaker 3: I don't give both fuck what my mom says.
Speaker 2: He's like I got Streuss six times.
Speaker 1: It's not gonna happen again.
Speaker 3: It's only making super Shredders. It's only making super Shredders.
Speaker 1: How old was he? How is he dead?
Speaker 2: Now?
Speaker 3: He has to be dead. He was born in like
Speaker 3: nineteen thirteen or some shit like that. And did he
Speaker 3: guy of lightning complications? I don't think so. I think
Speaker 3: he like lived a pretty regular life, it seems. This
Speaker 3: is what makes it even crazier is that it doesn't
Speaker 3: even feel like he got messed up that bad from
Speaker 3: his lightning strikes, like it his legs. I didn't look
Speaker 3: all that up.
Speaker 1: You get hit by lightning, you're not does not work.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I didn't think about that.
Speaker 1: That's the first thing I thought. If that goes, there's
Speaker 1: no way you're gonna make a regular. His kid better
Speaker 1: be fast as fucked.
Speaker 2: His baby's ratings like lightning seven times. You are making
Speaker 2: electronic children.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and when you come it says finish him and
Speaker 3: then then rating comes out. That's not my best joke, but.
Speaker 2: Solid.
Speaker 3: I also read about one of the oldest and worst
Speaker 3: lightning strikes ever recorded, happened in a town called Brescia, Italy.
Speaker 3: Does anybody have a correction for Brescia Breccia? I don't
Speaker 3: know how to power?
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 3: Tittysville, Italy. In seventeen sixty nine, a church was being
Speaker 3: used as a battery to store approximately one hundred tons
Speaker 3: of gunpowder. The church took a direct hit of lightning,
Speaker 3: and all the gunpowder eventually caught fire and exploded. After
Speaker 3: all the dust settled, nearly a sixth of the city
Speaker 3: was destroyed and killed nearly three thousand people.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, Wow.
Speaker 1: I started laughing too early.
Speaker 3: Yeah, sorry, fellas. Sorry, this can't all be fun and games.
Speaker 3: Three thousand dead Italians from the seventeen hundreds.
Speaker 1: Sounds like a shudder job to me. No, I wish
Speaker 1: you would get two hours.
Speaker 2: Laughed too early. You could not have anticipated. That's how
Speaker 2: that story ended. Man having such a good time.
Speaker 3: Okay, I'll tell you one more example, and this one
Speaker 3: actually is pretty fun. This one doesn't get sad. But
Speaker 3: I found a part of the National Weather Service website
Speaker 3: that is self submitted, like lists of recent survivors of
Speaker 3: lightning strikes. Like people can type in right in there
Speaker 3: and be like, I survived and this is what happened.
Speaker 3: Blah blah blah. And most of the injuries that they
Speaker 3: report are like it's it ranges, it's the full gamut.
Speaker 3: They they chronic pain, memory loss, coma's depression, ears, ringing,
Speaker 3: muscle funk, loss of muscle function, all of that shit.
Speaker 3: But there was one person on this list, a woman
Speaker 3: named Missy, who claimed to have gotten extrasensory perception esp.
Speaker 3: From her encounter with lightning.
Speaker 1: So okay, and some of our listens, I know, but
Speaker 1: some of our listeners maybe don't fully understand esp Yeah,
Speaker 1: as an actual is like that guy Cruskin invented it, right,
Speaker 1: I don't know much about I. Well, it's me. It's me.
Speaker 1: I don't know what it is. I don't know what
Speaker 1: it is like.
Speaker 3: No, listen, I'm I'm glad you're asking that. And in fact,
Speaker 3: I tracked down the email that she sent. Oh, and
Speaker 3: I can read it to you all now. The subject
Speaker 3: line is high price for pizza question mark, supernatural side
Speaker 3: effect question mark, And she says, I was struck by
Speaker 3: lightning about twelve years ago. No one ever told me
Speaker 3: that you weren't supposed to be on a landline telephone
Speaker 3: during an electrical storm. So there I was. Say it again,
Speaker 3: she didn't have a black mom, No black mama, nobody
Speaker 3: supposed to be here. Well, bits, I can't fuck.
Speaker 1: That one didn't even make that much sense.
Speaker 2: I was. It just felt boy, what you know what?
Speaker 2: I don't mind it.
Speaker 1: Yes, sometimes it's just sometimes it's magic, it's not science.
Speaker 3: Yeah, she says. So there, I was calling in a
Speaker 3: carry out pizza order when I noticed that the lightning
Speaker 3: and thunder was getting more intense and coming more frequently.
Speaker 3: I heard static on the phone line, which kept getting
Speaker 3: louder and louder. Then I heard what sounded like a
Speaker 3: loud explosion, and at the same time I noticed a
Speaker 3: bright white light at my feet, which was football shaped
Speaker 3: and had spikes. It blew me across the floor and
Speaker 3: I was knocked out for a few seconds. My son
Speaker 3: came running into the kitchen to find me laying there
Speaker 3: on the floor. When I started to get a numbing
Speaker 3: feeling on one side of my body, starting at the
Speaker 3: toes and working upward, he called nine one one. After
Speaker 3: spending several hours in the emergency room, they confirmed that
Speaker 3: I had been hit by lightning. Through the phone lines.
Speaker 3: After the strike, I noticed a strange side effect. It's
Speaker 3: almost as if I got esp extrasensory perception. Every once
Speaker 3: in a while, there have been times where I speak
Speaker 3: to someone, speak someone's name, someone that I haven't been
Speaker 3: heard from or seen in many years, and all of
Speaker 3: a sudden, they walk in the door. Or time, I
Speaker 3: knew my plumbing was going to be back up in
Speaker 3: the laundry, and sure enough that night it happened. I've
Speaker 3: had eerie feelings about this just before they've actually happened.
Speaker 3: I've actually created a list somewhere in my house of
Speaker 3: these incidents because I couldn't believe it myself. Most people
Speaker 3: that know me are amazed, and so am I. This
Speaker 3: periodic thing only only started after my lightning incident. Wow,
Speaker 3: how how bought in? Are we at all?
Speaker 2: Is not? At all?
Speaker 1: No? No, I don't, I don't.
Speaker 2: I don't, I don't. Maybe I'm just the cynic in
Speaker 2: my age. About three sentences in, I was like girl,
Speaker 2: and I was like.
Speaker 1: Oh, you knew the laundry was going to back up
Speaker 1: because this shit's been rattling for six months. Fucking call you, landlord,
Speaker 1: what are you talking about?
Speaker 3: They're not great examples. You're not nling it with the
Speaker 3: examples for esp.
Speaker 2: Oh, not at all. Like ye, if that was Shark,
Speaker 2: I'd be like, I'm out for don't don't for this reason,
Speaker 2: I don't believe you. For this reason, I'm out.
Speaker 1: I'd be like, I actually have a lot of friends
Speaker 1: in the laundry space.
Speaker 2: It is.
Speaker 3: It is a wild choice to be like, No, I
Speaker 3: did get superpowers, and and what is my power? I
Speaker 3: can tell when my laundry room is gonna it's gonna
Speaker 3: stop working the way it's supposed to.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's just it.
Speaker 3: You wasted your powers, baby?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, yeah, And did they get that pizza for free?
Speaker 3: I don't think so. I don't think the pizza got delivered.
Speaker 3: It sounds like she had a rough night without pizza.
Speaker 3: And also, uh, shitty superpowers.
Speaker 2: Damn, you know, you lose something exactly.
Speaker 3: I think if we, if we can all agree, it
Speaker 3: seems as if we we we are all sort of
Speaker 3: certain that shreddered toys are in no way a threat
Speaker 3: in a lightning storm. And and unfortunately, superpowers are not
Speaker 3: easily achieved even for those who are struck by lightning.
Speaker 3: It requires a more miraculous interaction with chemicals in a
Speaker 3: body to truly turn you supernatural.
Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely, yeah, I think that's.
Speaker 3: Damn well, keV, I think we did it. I think
Speaker 3: this is I think this is a whole shebang.
Speaker 2: This is perfect. Man, I still got time to go
Speaker 2: to my son's soccer game. This is great timing. I
Speaker 2: appreciate it. Yeah you do.
Speaker 3: You want to tell the people where they can find
Speaker 3: you and what cool shit you have going on? Okay?
Speaker 3: I love that.
Speaker 2: You know, if they're curious enough that I should be
Speaker 2: easy enough to fight. Yeah, that's it's just.
Speaker 3: Like, no, you go viral often enough that I think
Speaker 3: they'll bump into you.
Speaker 1: That's fair to say.
Speaker 2: Come see about it Kevin on stage. Just search that.
Speaker 2: Wherever you're looking, you'll probably find me.
Speaker 3: Well not us, we still plug bory what you got.
Speaker 1: I want to be at the Comedy Bar in Seattle,
Speaker 1: loging gym and on the twenty seven to twenty eighth,
Speaker 1: and I desperately need you to buy tickets. Go on
Speaker 1: my Instagram cool guy joke eighty seven and all my
Speaker 1: links are there. I got some other dates coming up,
Speaker 1: but that's what I got right now.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and as always, you can follow me at Langston Kerman.
Speaker 3: I don't have dates just yet to tell you about,
Speaker 3: but they're coming. And if you want to send us
Speaker 3: your own conspiracy theories, if you want to send us
Speaker 3: your own drops, if you want to tell us how
Speaker 3: you achieved your superpower, send it all to my Mama
Speaker 3: pod at gmail dot com. We would love to hear
Speaker 3: from you. Go to my Mama told me dot Merch
Speaker 3: Central to buy some of the merch that we have cooking.
Speaker 3: They are moving to them, shirts and hats. They're moving fast.
Speaker 3: We want y'all to have them, So go there and
Speaker 3: like subscribe, do whatever bullshit you're supposed to do to
Speaker 3: keep the podcast afloat. We love it, we need it,
Speaker 3: We love you. That's the whole thing. Bye, bitch.
Speaker 6: Look if you hate cops just because of the cop, next
Speaker 6: time you get in trouble.
Speaker 2: Call the crackhead.
Speaker 3: The government. My grow chips in your nails.
Speaker 2: All Kuala bears are racists.
Speaker 1: The layers, the money and turkey stuff, I'll can't tell me.
Speaker 1: Govern