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Speaker 1: Wake that ass up in the morning.

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Speaker 2: Breakfast Club Morning, Everybody is the j Envy, Jess Hilarious, Charlamagne,

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Speaker 2: the Gud We are the Breakfast Club Laurna Rosa filling

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Speaker 2: in for Jess. And we got some special guests joining

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Speaker 2: us today. Indeed, season two of their podcasts on the

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Speaker 2: Black Effect, Good Mom, Bad Choices Podcast we have Erica

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Speaker 2: Dickerson and Jamila Matp.

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Speaker 1: Welcome, ladies, Thank you.

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Speaker 3: How y'all feeling great but feeling really good? Yeah?

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Speaker 4: I love the name of y'all podcasts, Good Mom's Bad Choices.

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Speaker 5: What does that mean? Uh?

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Speaker 6: You know, I think society has deemed women and moms

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Speaker 6: in a certain light, and historically we're not really allowed

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Speaker 6: to make bad choices. But really bad choices are relative,

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Speaker 6: you know, like smoking a blund is a good choice

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Speaker 6: for me, but for other people that.

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Speaker 3: Might be a bad choice, you know.

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Speaker 6: So I think it really kind of just flips the

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Speaker 6: narrative around what bad choices actually are and allows moms

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Speaker 6: in particular to give themselves grace and prioritize whatever the

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Speaker 6: fuck it is that they want to. Probably it's funny though,

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Speaker 6: because a lot of people really hated that name.

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Speaker 3: All of our friends told us that was a bad idea.

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Speaker 3: That was a bad idea.

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Speaker 7: I don't know, because I think bad choices and good

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Speaker 7: moms don't go together, and you assume that that means

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Speaker 7: something terrible. But I mean, I'm sure we've all made

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Speaker 7: some choices that some other person told you were bad,

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Speaker 7: but they were actually fun or good or exciting. And

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Speaker 7: sometimes you got to make your own choice. And I think,

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Speaker 7: you know, people put moms in a box. You can

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Speaker 7: only behave a certain way, you can only dress a

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Speaker 7: certain ways, like you give birth and suddenly you're fucking

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Speaker 7: Martha Stewart or something.

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Speaker 3: But the truth is.

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Speaker 7: Is you had a baby because you had sex, So

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Speaker 7: you know, there's just like the humanness of it.

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Speaker 5: That's what I thought it was. I thought you saying

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Speaker 5: the bad choice is the baby daddy.

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Speaker 7: No, okay, that's relative. That wasn't why we made the name.

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Speaker 7: But did we make some choices that could have been better? Yes,

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Speaker 7: But you learn from those choices and then you find

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Speaker 7: a second baby daddy that.

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Speaker 1: I'm still looking for a baby daddy.

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Speaker 3: First of all, husband is true? Start there? Yeah, well man, wait,

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Speaker 3: you don't know.

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Speaker 4: Start somewhere, you find a man, you don't know what

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Speaker 4: she wants, right, No, I don't.

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Speaker 3: Know how to keep him exactly. I don't mind him.

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Speaker 3: What was that going?

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Speaker 8: You may even, oh you said second baby. Sometimes people

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Speaker 8: find a second baby daddy. I don't know you guys personally,

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Speaker 8: and I'm new to watching and listening to your podcast,

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Speaker 8: So forgive me, or are you guys on the journey

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Speaker 8: of finding the second baby daddy?

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Speaker 3: Are you still with the first baby daddy? Like we're

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Speaker 3: y'all ing on jury? One is engaged? Okay, I just

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Speaker 3: got engaged last week. Okay, so I.

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Speaker 7: Have found my second babe, my husband.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, thank you, Jeff. And I think that's another thing.

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Speaker 7: It's like women, there's like the stigma that you have

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Speaker 7: to say with your baby daddy or you're you're deemed

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Speaker 7: unworthy or unmarriable after your single mom, and it's just

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Speaker 7: not true.

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Speaker 3: It's not real.

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Speaker 7: And like sometimes you gotta you gotta do better the

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Speaker 7: second time, and sometimes you gotta leave the first one

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Speaker 7: for your happiness and for your peace.

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Speaker 3: And that's okay.

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Speaker 5: Can you walk us through the end aagement? How long?

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Speaker 4: How long were you dating the guy and all of

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Speaker 4: that type of stuff. I want to make Laura feel

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Speaker 4: bad about not having a little bit Jesus made me feel.

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Speaker 3: Let me tell you something, this is a hopeful story.

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Speaker 3: Get back on you. Let's focus on you.

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Speaker 8: So tell us about the engagement and how it happened.

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Speaker 8: Because I saw that trending last week on I think

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Speaker 8: it was Twitter. There was a girl that was like,

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Speaker 8: and for all the guys that keep saying, just because

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Speaker 8: you have a kid, nobody's gonna want you my stepdaddy

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Speaker 8: DMS is lined up.

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Speaker 7: Maybe And you know that was a big fear of ours.

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Speaker 7: I think that was how we like kind of formed

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Speaker 7: our podcast too. It's like, as black women, it's so

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Speaker 7: like the stereotype of being a single black mom is

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Speaker 7: it's crazy, you know, like and nobody, no woman wants that,

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Speaker 7: to be a single mom, but particularly for black women,

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Speaker 7: there's this heavy burden of like, oh my god.

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Speaker 3: And the truth is is like you learn, you get

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Speaker 3: better when you're a mother, You take you get dating

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Speaker 3: gets taken more. Seriously.

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Speaker 7: I don't have time to play, I don't have time

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Speaker 7: for bs. You know, I know what I need and

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Speaker 7: what I want. So yeah, I met my man four

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Speaker 7: years ago. We dated for three years. He's from New York.

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Speaker 7: I imported him to La because La men are not

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Speaker 7: so great.

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Speaker 3: But yeah, we did.

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Speaker 7: We dated for three years, we lived together for two

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Speaker 7: and you know we've been engaged two weeks, so you know,

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Speaker 7: we did a little.

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Speaker 3: I did the adult thing.

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Speaker 5: Congratulations, man, congratulation.

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Speaker 3: Just hope, lady, you keep looking at me because you're

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Speaker 3: in mat what everybody I contactould nba me? What about you?

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Speaker 6: I have a partner, and so you know, we're still

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Speaker 6: we're not anywhere near where she's at. But it's been

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Speaker 6: a journey, you know, as a single mom. I think that,

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Speaker 6: like you said, there's a lot of shame. I remember

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Speaker 6: when I first when I when I me and my

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Speaker 6: child's father broke up. I remember I joined Tender and

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Speaker 6: I always tell our listeners like new moms that are

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Speaker 6: trying to get out there, I'm like, dating apps is

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Speaker 6: the ship when you first like become single.

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Speaker 3: Like for me, I really needed the.

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Speaker 6: Confidence boost because I felt so disconnected from my sexuality.

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Speaker 6: I felt so disconnected from just my value in so

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Speaker 6: many ways, and unfortunately, not fortunate, unfortunately, unfortunately I really did.

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Speaker 3: I needed that confidence, but it was to be like,

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Speaker 3: oh that's wipe right, Okay, Okay.

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Speaker 6: But I think that for me in this in this period,

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Speaker 6: in this time, and in my journey of being a

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Speaker 6: single mom, I've learned through the people that I've dated,

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Speaker 6: which you know, things haven't worked out, but I've evolved

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Speaker 6: so much and been able to I think manifest this

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Speaker 6: person that I'm with now who accepts me holistically. Because

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Speaker 6: one thing that we were told and we've been told

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Speaker 6: a lot because of our show and the content of

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Speaker 6: our show, we talk about sex very candidly. We talk

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Speaker 6: about our dating experience is very candidly. We talk about

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Speaker 6: our bad choices very candidly. And you're not going to

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Speaker 6: find a man like that. No man's going to marry

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Speaker 6: that you were You like your titties.

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Speaker 3: Out like you weren't.

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Speaker 6: You don't like shirts like we literally, you don't like shirts.

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Speaker 6: She doesn't like shirts, you know, and her titty makes

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Speaker 6: an appearance. I was like, you can't make an appearance today. Okay,

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Speaker 6: the right to be likes to make an appearance. And

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Speaker 6: but there's a lot of there's a lot of narrative

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Speaker 6: around just being too confident in your body and to you, yeah,

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Speaker 6: being to you, you have to compartmentalize yourself to be

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Speaker 6: a wife, to be a high valued woman, which is

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Speaker 6: a conversation that I feel like it's always been part

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Speaker 6: and it's been on the internet for a long time,

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Speaker 6: But now women are pushing this narrative of being high

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Speaker 6: valued women, and I feel like that's very dangerous and

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Speaker 6: very violent against women, specifically when it's pushed by women,

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Speaker 6: and so.

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Speaker 3: The goddess is to their job.

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Speaker 6: So I just feel like we're in a time now

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Speaker 6: where women are realizing that their value is not linked

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Speaker 6: necessarily to how they dress. Their value isn't linked to

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Speaker 6: how they talk. It's linked to how deeply they've met themselves.

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Speaker 6: And you know, through this process, I've been able to

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Speaker 6: meet myself. And I mean we always talk about this.

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Speaker 6: We're continuously in works of progress, like I ain't healed,

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Speaker 6: Like I'm very vocal about like where I'm at, and

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Speaker 6: even with the women that we work with at our retreats,

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Speaker 6: because we now we know we do international retreats with women.

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Speaker 6: We've brought hundreds of women of the country to do

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Speaker 6: the work that we do, and it's really about that

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Speaker 6: is meeting yourself, empowering yourself, finding your tribe. Me and Mila,

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Speaker 6: we weren't friends when we started our podcast, Like I

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Speaker 6: saw her on the internet. I judged her because her

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Speaker 6: titties were out and we were both pregnant at the

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Speaker 6: same time, and I had subscribed to this narrative of

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Speaker 6: what motherhood was supposed to be, like like I couldn't

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Speaker 6: smoke weed anymore, even though like my baby daddy was

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Speaker 6: a rapper, Like I was going to be put together

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Speaker 6: and I wasn't gonna those parts of myself had to die.

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Speaker 6: And I saw her and she triggered the fuck out

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Speaker 6: of me. I was like, Wow, she can show up

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Speaker 6: as herself just as she is. Thankfully my hating didn't deter.

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Speaker 3: Me from I'm going to say, what was the first interaction. No, Well,

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Speaker 3: my friend kept posting her and I was like, who

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Speaker 3: is this girl? You keep posting?

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Speaker 6: Like none of my friends had kids, and so I

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Speaker 6: was desperate. I was like, you know what, I need

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Speaker 6: to meet her. She seems like she's cool, and so,

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Speaker 6: you know, my friend was like, we're going to a

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Speaker 6: bar tonight. You want to come and meet her, and

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Speaker 6: which is like so out of I would never just

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Speaker 6: go and try to Like now I would, but at

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Speaker 6: that time I would never go out of my way

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Speaker 6: to go meet a stranger friend at a bar.

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Speaker 3: But I was desperate.

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Speaker 6: I literally pumped in the car because I was my

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Speaker 6: daughter was three months old, and went in to find

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Speaker 6: Jamila because I knew only had like ninety minutes before

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Speaker 6: my mama started calling me and judging me for being

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Speaker 6: out too early after giving birth, and cornered her and.

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Speaker 3: Was like, hey, I heard that you have a kid.

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Speaker 6: My friend posted you on the internet and she was

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Speaker 6: like yeah, and she had also saw me on the internet,

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Speaker 6: made preconceived notions about me, my lifestyle and what I do.

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Speaker 6: And thankfully we pushed past that. We push past the judgment,

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Speaker 6: which I think a lot of times women we have

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Speaker 6: a hard time doing that. We judge each other so

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Speaker 6: much and we hold each other back. And so the

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Speaker 6: work that we do on the podcast, at the retreats

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Speaker 6: in our book is really about bringing women together and

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Speaker 6: understanding that we are so much stronger together.

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Speaker 4: And yeah, you said a lot of shit, just not edited.

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Speaker 4: I want to talk about that.

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Speaker 3: Let's do it.

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Speaker 4: I never heard somebody refer to dating apps and said

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Speaker 4: that it gave them confidence.

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Speaker 5: Could he found on that a little bit?

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Speaker 4: Yeah?

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Speaker 6: I mean I was, I felt so unattractive in my relationship.

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Speaker 6: I felt so undesirable in my relationship. I was I

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Speaker 6: was desperate for validation, and my partner was like, that's

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Speaker 6: not my job.

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Speaker 3: And granted, maybe that's not his job.

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Speaker 6: Holistic, but I felt like, Nick, I just pushed out

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Speaker 6: your baby, I'm feeling I need some help here. And

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Speaker 6: so when we broke up, I was really nervous to

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Speaker 6: get on a dating app a because like I was like,

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Speaker 6: oh my god, what if someone sees me on there?

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Speaker 3: What if he sees me on there?

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Speaker 6: But then it became kind of you know, dating app

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Speaker 6: is kind of like they'd gamified it, so you know,

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Speaker 6: you're swiping and like people are like wanting to match

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Speaker 6: with you. So I'm like, it's giving you confidence. Whether

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Speaker 6: it's a false sense of confidence, it's the beginning, it's

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Speaker 6: the path towards really believing it. And so for me,

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Speaker 6: dating apps really led me into really feeling like, Okay,

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Speaker 6: I am desirable. Oh I do deserve pleasure. Oh I

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Speaker 6: do deserve to be taken out. And so I think

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Speaker 6: a lot of women they don't know where to start.

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Speaker 6: And I'm not necessarily saying that's for everyone's path to start,

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Speaker 6: but for me. That was really healing for me, and

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Speaker 6: in the path of this dating app is really I

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Speaker 6: think we always say like two moms walked in a

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Speaker 6: bar and met each other, but really the story began

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Speaker 6: when I went on this dating app and I ended

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Speaker 6: up swiping on what I thought was a woman because

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Speaker 6: I was going both ways, and then I swiped and

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Speaker 6: it was she was pictured with her husband, and I

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Speaker 6: was like, why is this man in this picture? And

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Speaker 6: I kept swiping it was like and then I read

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Speaker 6: and was like, We're a couple looking to spoil someone special,

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Speaker 6: and I was like, huh, okay, well, this is something

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Speaker 6: I always kind of wanted to explore with my cheating

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Speaker 6: baby daddy but couldn't trust him, so maybe now is

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Speaker 6: the time, And so I did. And even in that

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Speaker 6: exploration with this couple, I felt excitement, but I also

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Speaker 6: felt shame because I'm a mom. So I was like

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Speaker 6: going and having threesomes with this married couple and then

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Speaker 6: going home and tucking my daughter into bed and being like,

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Speaker 6: what life am I living?

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Speaker 3: Is this? Okay?

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Speaker 6: Like I feel really good, I feel like like I

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Speaker 6: feel confident, I feel excited about what's happening, But am

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Speaker 6: I a good mom because of this. And so when

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Speaker 6: I shared this story with Jamila and this was like

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Speaker 6: maybe our second interaction, it really opened up the door

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Speaker 6: for her to feel comfortable sharing with me. And I

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Speaker 6: know it sounds silly like a three Soome brought you together,

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Speaker 6: but yeah, actually.

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Speaker 8: In conversation or no, no, no, no, no, I.

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Speaker 3: Was just when she said, I'm like, whoa hold on?

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Speaker 3: Where do we just go back?

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Speaker 5: The dating ap thing?

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Speaker 4: That's it seems like it's the new school way of

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Speaker 4: like putting on a nice dress, getting your head done

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Speaker 4: and going out to the club back and when your

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Speaker 4: man pissing you off, you go out to the club

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Speaker 4: just to get But.

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Speaker 2: You said your man didn't give you something to the

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Speaker 2: dating app. So you all was still together.

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Speaker 1: You weren't together, We weren't together. Oh, but you still

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Speaker 1: wanted him to give you that because you had just

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Speaker 1: had his baby.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, I mean I had gained a lot of weight

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Speaker 6: and pregnancy, and so I just didn't recognize myself.

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Speaker 3: I really needed my partner to empower me in the

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Speaker 3: end of the relationship before it ended. And yeah, no, no,

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Speaker 3: I wasn't on dating apps a while I was with him. Now, Clary, I.

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Speaker 2: Always want to you know when you have situations like that,

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Speaker 2: and I'm sure you talk about it on the podcast, right,

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Speaker 2: but when your child gets to like fifteen sixteen and

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Speaker 2: they start clicking, is that a conversation you have beforehand?

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Speaker 1: He'd like, I'm go'na let them find out on their own.

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Speaker 3: My dad, you need to warn your child.

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Speaker 7: So in two thousand and let me tell in twenty

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Speaker 7: twenty your mama had three.

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Speaker 3: So I'm just letting you know in case you read

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Speaker 3: about that twenty three, because you know.

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Speaker 2: What this day and age, they'll pull it right up,

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Speaker 2: like we know your mama, We know your mama did

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Speaker 2: this eate like before where it was off on the internet,

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Speaker 2: like I don't know, nothing going on with my mom

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Speaker 2: and my grandmama, like you just don't know.

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Speaker 1: I think it's a decent age our kids will know.

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Speaker 7: But I think that's been not that everybody. Are your

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Speaker 7: kids need to know your whole sex catalog? However, I

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Speaker 7: think it's detrimental, Like there is a there is a

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Speaker 7: misconception that parents, fathers included, are these perfect superhero people,

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Speaker 7: and to our kids, we are. But I think most

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Speaker 7: importantly when our kids get of age and start exploring

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Speaker 7: our catalog. First of all, I hope you have a

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Speaker 7: lot of time, babe. There are three hundred episodes. But

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Speaker 7: I want my daughter to remember, like, my mom is

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Speaker 7: exactly who the fuck she says she is. There's no

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Speaker 7: gray area. She knows my titties be out. She knows

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Speaker 7: so I am. She loves me, she respects me because

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Speaker 7: I'm a great mother to her. So what I do

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Speaker 7: sexually as an adult is never gonna sway how she

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Speaker 7: feels about me as an adult. I'm a parent. I

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Speaker 7: am an adult, and I can indulge, and I'm that's

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Speaker 7: my right. So my birthright, pleasure is my birthright, and

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Speaker 7: it's medicine, and I don't like that is not a

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Speaker 7: narrative that I intend on keeping, that we intend on

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Speaker 7: keeping from our daughters. So I think like the transparency

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Speaker 7: a is like has been medicine for us in our

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Speaker 7: friendship and for community because other women are like, Damn,

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Speaker 7: I needed to know other women are smoking a blunt

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Speaker 7: and I'm not a terrible person. Oh, I needed to

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Speaker 7: know other women are out here dating and I'm not

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Speaker 7: a terrible person.

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Speaker 3: No, you deserve to live, and so do our kids.

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Speaker 7: And I hope that we're setting that example and that

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Speaker 7: our catalog is so much more than just you know,

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Speaker 7: the fifty probably sex stories that are in there, but

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Speaker 7: that there's a you know, there's a deep understanding of

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Speaker 7: who we truly are.

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Speaker 5: What is the titties out? Think y'all keep telling me,

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Speaker 5: and I'm trying to make our contact. But she don't

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Speaker 5: have her titties.

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Speaker 3: In today? They are in today? I what is it?

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Speaker 5: What does she mean, like you walking around shirtless or something?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 5: I do, like like in public?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean where I can.

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Speaker 7: I'm like in my house, in her house if we're

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Speaker 7: in and we're on vacation.

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Speaker 3: We travel a lot.

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Speaker 7: My family, my friends know my titties be out because

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Speaker 7: it's usually house that I live in or I paid

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Speaker 7: for her. My friends are my friends, and so I've

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Speaker 7: created a community who are who are.

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Speaker 3: Okay with that?

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Speaker 7: Because I'm comfortable in my skin and that's how I

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Speaker 7: feel comfortable.

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Speaker 5: Do you have a traumatic experience with a shirt?

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Speaker 7: A turtleneck when I was in fourth grade really overcame

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Speaker 7: my neck.

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Speaker 2: I want to go back to the to the bad choices.

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Speaker 2: We were talking about the bad choices, right, so all

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Speaker 2: the bad choices are parenting choices Are they men choices

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Speaker 2: or all of.

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Speaker 1: The above, right, Because I always say I have six kids.

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Speaker 2: I always say the first two are like the guinea pigs, right,

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Speaker 2: because you got to learn what to do what not

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Speaker 2: to do, and then the next four you kind of get.

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Speaker 1: So what are the bad choices?

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Speaker 7: I mean, there's definitely some bad choices, And I think,

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Speaker 7: like you said, the first two are guinea pigs, Like

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Speaker 7: everything's trial and error and hopefully you learn.

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Speaker 3: And I think that is the thing in bad tries.

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Speaker 3: I mean, apparently you guys six of.

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Speaker 7: Them from zero to six, it got better.

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Speaker 3: And that's the thing.

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Speaker 7: We're ever evolving and you know, and like you trip,

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Speaker 7: you fall down, you get the fuck back up. That

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Speaker 7: that is life and we don't talk about that enough.

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Speaker 7: We only show the result. And like the bad choices

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Speaker 7: sometimes are bad, actually really bad, and then you can,

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Speaker 7: you know, re hopefully they lead to better choice realine, like, Okay,

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Speaker 7: that was fucked up.

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Speaker 3: I did too much.

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Speaker 7: This way it's a constant sway of balance and that

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Speaker 7: is how you get better by acknowledging what you've done

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Speaker 7: and being able to have conversations and reflect upon it.

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Speaker 7: But if you don't have friends that you could be

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Speaker 7: honest with and be like, bitch, I had this three summe.

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Speaker 7: I probably shouldn't have left last night. You know she

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Speaker 7: can't be like girl, get it together because we're so

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Speaker 7: afraid to be judged. But if you can say the thing,

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Speaker 7: then you can you can be better from it.

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Speaker 8: Erica question for you. I know, and only because you

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Speaker 8: mentioned this earlier. I know what you're kid's dad. With Freddy,

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Speaker 8: it's a little bit different for you too, because he's

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Speaker 8: an artist, Like people know Freddy Gibbs. Right, How do

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Speaker 8: you deal with the judgment because yours is like probably

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Speaker 8: fifty times more because your relationship and everything that happened

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Speaker 8: out of it was so public.

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Speaker 3: Like is that harder for you? Is it harder to

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Speaker 3: talk about? Is it?

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Speaker 5: Like?

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Speaker 3: How does it?

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Speaker 6: No, it's not hard for me to talk about. I

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Speaker 6: mean early on in the show it was. I mean

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Speaker 6: when we started the podcast, I was relatively like maybe

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Speaker 6: five months out of our breakup.

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Speaker 8: WHOA, you were mentally okay enough? Your breakup was pretty No,

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Speaker 8: I was not okay, which is okay no, wait, so

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Speaker 8: back it up then talk me through that. So you're

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Speaker 8: five months out of you were engaged. You you are

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Speaker 8: just welcome your baby. Then you find out there's another

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Speaker 8: woman the other baby. Then you decide to go get

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Speaker 8: on a public platform instead of podcast. What was your

404
00:16:47,360 --> 00:16:50,480
Speaker 8: thinking around that? And like, mentally, outside of just talking

405
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Speaker 8: to her, what else did you do to be able

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Speaker 8: to get through that that's wrong?

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Speaker 6: You know, I didn't have a lot of thought. Honestly,

408
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Speaker 6: people ask us why we started the show. It was

409
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Speaker 6: really I just needed someone to talk to, and I

410
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Speaker 6: started listening to the podcasts, actually really murder Mystery podcasts,

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Speaker 6: and then I started looking up podcasts and the you know,

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Speaker 6: single mom podcasts, black podcasts. At the time, there were

413
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Speaker 6: really none like this. The space has changed and evolved

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Speaker 6: so much. But before that it was like white moms

415
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Speaker 6: drinking wine, calling her kids' assholes, and like nerdy white

416
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Speaker 6: guys like and murder Mystery shit, which is why I

417
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Speaker 6: was there, And so you know, I felt like, Wow,

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Speaker 6: this space is wide open. I wonder if, like my

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Speaker 6: friend that I just met, because I didn't know Jamila

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Speaker 6: really at all, would want to sit and like, let's

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Speaker 6: just talk about being single moms. And then as we

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Speaker 6: started talking and just being vulnerable, things just started pouring out.

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Speaker 3: She told me the story, and I and yeah, oh

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Speaker 3: about there.

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Speaker 7: And I immediately was intrigued because I we had hung out,

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Speaker 7: but it was very surface and I was like, oh,

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Speaker 7: this bitch is kind of spicy.

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Speaker 3: Okay, I kind of like her.

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Speaker 7: I was like, okay, I can kind of get with this,

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Speaker 7: because at first it was very like, how are you

431
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Speaker 7: liking motherhood?

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Speaker 3: It's great? I love it, yeah, you know, and not

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Speaker 3: being real.

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Speaker 7: And when she said that, it immediately made me feel

435
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Speaker 7: close to her, and I asked her at that moment,

436
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Speaker 7: I said, okay, I did the podcast. I don't even

437
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Speaker 7: know what the fuck that is, like a radio show.

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Speaker 7: I was like, but are you going to tell the

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00:18:06,200 --> 00:18:08,320
Speaker 7: story about your couple? And because that's the only way

440
00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:09,600
Speaker 7: I could do it on or off, I don't really

441
00:18:09,680 --> 00:18:10,280
Speaker 7: have a great area.

442
00:18:10,320 --> 00:18:12,880
Speaker 6: And she was like, okay, a couple of white couple,

443
00:18:14,240 --> 00:18:17,760
Speaker 6: black and white, oh, black woman, black and white husband.

444
00:18:17,920 --> 00:18:23,640
Speaker 5: Oh doctor umwa would be. I was like, this white

445
00:18:23,680 --> 00:18:25,600
Speaker 5: man got three queens.

446
00:18:27,920 --> 00:18:30,280
Speaker 8: His wife is beautiful, yes, but like putting that into

447
00:18:30,320 --> 00:18:32,159
Speaker 8: perspective for you, of that, I guess being like a

448
00:18:32,200 --> 00:18:35,000
Speaker 8: liberating experience. And you start this podcast, you have this friend,

449
00:18:35,080 --> 00:18:36,800
Speaker 8: now this homegirl who can support you in a different

450
00:18:36,800 --> 00:18:38,720
Speaker 8: way because she was your first mom friend. You said, right,

451
00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:42,000
Speaker 8: how did you guys talk through even you talking to

452
00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:44,720
Speaker 8: your daughter eventually about like what you went through and

453
00:18:44,760 --> 00:18:46,160
Speaker 8: your decision to put on a podcast.

454
00:18:46,440 --> 00:18:49,720
Speaker 6: Well, to go back to your original question, I think

455
00:18:49,800 --> 00:18:53,280
Speaker 6: that I didn't really give a fuck because he didn't

456
00:18:53,280 --> 00:18:56,400
Speaker 6: really consider me at all. Right, So I didn't really

457
00:18:56,400 --> 00:18:58,960
Speaker 6: have a lot of consideration for him.

458
00:18:58,960 --> 00:19:01,360
Speaker 3: Although I did protect I did protect him a lot.

459
00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:05,119
Speaker 6: I didn't share so much until like maybe like a

460
00:19:05,200 --> 00:19:08,200
Speaker 6: year in like because I wasn't it wasn't confirmed even

461
00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:10,000
Speaker 6: for a while, even when I was recording the show,

462
00:19:10,040 --> 00:19:13,320
Speaker 6: whether you know, this was his child or not. And

463
00:19:13,880 --> 00:19:16,800
Speaker 6: you know, as I started to share more, I felt

464
00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:19,040
Speaker 6: empowered because a lot of women were writing in and

465
00:19:19,080 --> 00:19:20,040
Speaker 6: telling me me too.

466
00:19:21,040 --> 00:19:23,120
Speaker 3: Yeah. And so when you have that support, you feel

467
00:19:23,160 --> 00:19:24,239
Speaker 3: more brave, you know.

468
00:19:24,280 --> 00:19:26,000
Speaker 6: And I feel like that's why our show has been

469
00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:28,560
Speaker 6: so successful, is because we've been really brave and sharing

470
00:19:28,840 --> 00:19:32,360
Speaker 6: our testimony and sharing our truth, and with that becomes

471
00:19:32,359 --> 00:19:34,359
Speaker 6: the community with that comes to support. And so I

472
00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:37,199
Speaker 6: felt very supportive, and luckily we haven't. People always ask

473
00:19:37,200 --> 00:19:38,760
Speaker 6: because like if you've gotten a lot of backlash, on

474
00:19:38,800 --> 00:19:41,280
Speaker 6: your show, not really like, we have a very supportive

475
00:19:41,320 --> 00:19:45,360
Speaker 6: community of men and women, and so, you know, obviously

476
00:19:45,359 --> 00:19:47,440
Speaker 6: me and my child's father a relationship has evolved over

477
00:19:47,440 --> 00:19:47,840
Speaker 6: the years.

478
00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:50,040
Speaker 3: We're cool, we're coold parents, you know. But there was

479
00:19:50,080 --> 00:19:50,560
Speaker 3: a lot of hurt.

480
00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:51,800
Speaker 6: There was a lot of anger, there was a lot

481
00:19:51,840 --> 00:19:55,600
Speaker 6: of confusion, and I really needed a place to heal.

482
00:19:55,720 --> 00:19:59,399
Speaker 6: And honestly, behind the mic was healing. Sharing stories and

483
00:19:59,440 --> 00:20:04,480
Speaker 6: talking is a major form of medicine. Yes, And even

484
00:20:04,520 --> 00:20:06,000
Speaker 6: when I step away from the mic for too long,

485
00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:07,639
Speaker 6: I kind of miss it. I'd be like, damn, I

486
00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:09,960
Speaker 6: got some shit to say. Gotta get this off, you know,

487
00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:12,520
Speaker 6: And so I'm sorry. What was the second question?

488
00:20:13,040 --> 00:20:14,919
Speaker 3: I think just having her as a support system.

489
00:20:14,960 --> 00:20:16,480
Speaker 8: I don't have a kid, but I've been through the

490
00:20:16,520 --> 00:20:19,080
Speaker 8: whole my person having a baby with another person, and

491
00:20:19,119 --> 00:20:20,960
Speaker 8: I decided to stay after and it was really tough

492
00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:23,720
Speaker 8: because you don't have people that really understand it. So

493
00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:25,840
Speaker 8: you as a friend. My question was, what was that

494
00:20:25,840 --> 00:20:28,399
Speaker 8: support system? Like just having another mom that'sa yo. I

495
00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:30,840
Speaker 8: got to and we publicly doing this together, Like what

496
00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:31,159
Speaker 8: was that?

497
00:20:31,240 --> 00:20:31,320
Speaker 3: Like?

498
00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:34,920
Speaker 6: Yeah, I mean we were kind of in similar spaces.

499
00:20:34,920 --> 00:20:36,680
Speaker 6: We met each other like I always say, like God

500
00:20:36,760 --> 00:20:38,639
Speaker 6: just it was God's timing. We met each other at

501
00:20:38,760 --> 00:20:42,239
Speaker 6: very crucial moments in our motherhood. She was just she

502
00:20:42,280 --> 00:20:44,080
Speaker 6: had just broken up with her child's father. I had

503
00:20:44,119 --> 00:20:46,040
Speaker 6: just broken up with mine, and it was like bitch,

504
00:20:46,080 --> 00:20:49,320
Speaker 6: we outside. So like the first two three years of

505
00:20:49,400 --> 00:20:52,840
Speaker 6: our show was really about like our just all the things,

506
00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:56,679
Speaker 6: all the journeys, and like rediscovering ourselves as these new women,

507
00:20:56,720 --> 00:21:00,280
Speaker 6: as these new as mothers, but mostly Erica Andrew Mila,

508
00:21:00,359 --> 00:21:02,719
Speaker 6: like who are we outside of just that? And then

509
00:21:02,760 --> 00:21:04,520
Speaker 6: how do we come back to motherhood and be able

510
00:21:04,600 --> 00:21:08,240
Speaker 6: to nourish our children and be good moms? So I

511
00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:11,359
Speaker 6: think just being honest, really saying the thing, and even

512
00:21:11,359 --> 00:21:13,960
Speaker 6: in our friendship, like our friendship has gone through trials

513
00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:15,800
Speaker 6: and tribulations as well, and we've been vocal about that

514
00:21:15,840 --> 00:21:18,040
Speaker 6: on our podcast as well, and just saying the thing

515
00:21:19,119 --> 00:21:23,560
Speaker 6: has been I think really important because specifically women were

516
00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:26,560
Speaker 6: really quick to cut off women if they irritate us,

517
00:21:26,680 --> 00:21:28,120
Speaker 6: or they say the wrong thing, or.

518
00:21:28,040 --> 00:21:30,640
Speaker 3: They're doing too much, you know, and.

519
00:21:31,960 --> 00:21:34,439
Speaker 6: That's just not that's just this has been honestly like

520
00:21:35,080 --> 00:21:37,000
Speaker 6: the best relationship I've had. It's also been one of

521
00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:39,199
Speaker 6: the most challenging relationships I've had because we always talk

522
00:21:39,240 --> 00:21:42,080
Speaker 6: about our our friendship as platonic. We're in a platonic marriage.

523
00:21:43,040 --> 00:21:45,800
Speaker 6: Our our kids, you know, travel together, they go to

524
00:21:45,840 --> 00:21:48,360
Speaker 6: camp together. We share bank accounts. Like I've made more

525
00:21:48,359 --> 00:21:51,080
Speaker 6: money than with her than anyone in my entire life,

526
00:21:51,119 --> 00:21:51,960
Speaker 6: you know, and.

527
00:21:52,040 --> 00:21:53,000
Speaker 3: Their bank accounts is real.

528
00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:56,520
Speaker 8: We're married, Yeah, I mean even in this still I

529
00:21:56,560 --> 00:21:59,320
Speaker 8: know business business partners who do they have a business account,

530
00:21:59,320 --> 00:22:00,359
Speaker 8: but like they keep Google.

531
00:22:01,200 --> 00:22:03,960
Speaker 3: We have separate accounts, but most of our accounts be together. Yeah.

532
00:22:04,280 --> 00:22:05,040
Speaker 3: We do a lot of things.

533
00:22:05,040 --> 00:22:07,280
Speaker 6: And I think we realized when we started to just

534
00:22:07,359 --> 00:22:09,680
Speaker 6: be honest and tap into ourselves, we were the most

535
00:22:09,720 --> 00:22:12,800
Speaker 6: successful we had ever been, Like all of the honest Yeah,

536
00:22:12,880 --> 00:22:14,439
Speaker 6: all of our businesses.

537
00:22:14,240 --> 00:22:17,000
Speaker 3: Have are all three of them are very successful.

538
00:22:17,040 --> 00:22:19,199
Speaker 6: And I think a lot of that is a testimony

539
00:22:19,280 --> 00:22:25,359
Speaker 6: to us being honest with one another and sharing. And

540
00:22:25,359 --> 00:22:27,000
Speaker 6: and also I think when you start tapping into your

541
00:22:27,040 --> 00:22:29,600
Speaker 6: pleasure and when I say pleasure, because I think pleasure

542
00:22:29,600 --> 00:22:32,560
Speaker 6: also gets a bad rap. People always associate pleasure with sex. Yeah,

543
00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:35,520
Speaker 6: but pleasure is a full spectrum of emotions. It's everything,

544
00:22:35,560 --> 00:22:38,600
Speaker 6: it's grief, it's shame, it's love, it's it's all the things.

545
00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:41,000
Speaker 6: There's a journey that you go on and there's a

546
00:22:41,040 --> 00:22:43,680
Speaker 6: healing that happens that opens you up and expands you,

547
00:22:44,080 --> 00:22:46,040
Speaker 6: and you become a better mom, you become a better

548
00:22:46,080 --> 00:22:48,000
Speaker 6: business woman, you become a better wife, you become a

549
00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:51,160
Speaker 6: better girlfriend. Like all these things start to unlock in yourself.

550
00:22:51,200 --> 00:22:54,160
Speaker 6: And I think for us it became just like.

551
00:22:54,119 --> 00:22:56,080
Speaker 3: This ritual weekly doing that.

552
00:22:56,480 --> 00:22:58,400
Speaker 6: And so yeah, mean, Jamila is my best friend, she's

553
00:22:58,400 --> 00:23:01,200
Speaker 6: my sister, she's my platonic wife, although I don't know

554
00:23:01,200 --> 00:23:02,600
Speaker 6: if I'm supposed to give up that title now that

555
00:23:02,640 --> 00:23:05,040
Speaker 6: you're going to be a real life never.

556
00:23:07,640 --> 00:23:11,560
Speaker 4: Very What is the sexilogist in tantric practitioner, Because that's

557
00:23:11,560 --> 00:23:13,160
Speaker 4: what y'all are too, That's what y'all, that's what your

558
00:23:13,160 --> 00:23:13,720
Speaker 4: retreats are.

559
00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:17,239
Speaker 7: About, right, I mean somewhat Yeah, Tantra is about like

560
00:23:18,320 --> 00:23:21,240
Speaker 7: starting the dialogue with your body, using pleasure as medicine.

561
00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:22,920
Speaker 7: Like she said, I think a lot of times people

562
00:23:23,400 --> 00:23:25,879
Speaker 7: think pleasure is just like sex. You're just solely in

563
00:23:25,880 --> 00:23:27,480
Speaker 7: the bedroom, you lock the door, you turn the lights off,

564
00:23:27,480 --> 00:23:30,000
Speaker 7: you don't talk about it. But there's pleasure in all things, right,

565
00:23:30,080 --> 00:23:32,119
Speaker 7: Like you probably I saw you a little snuggy on

566
00:23:32,160 --> 00:23:32,639
Speaker 7: this morning.

567
00:23:33,800 --> 00:23:35,520
Speaker 3: But you you know, like sometimes there's those things that

568
00:23:35,680 --> 00:23:39,320
Speaker 3: just like lighting a candle, setting the vibe, eating a.

569
00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:42,399
Speaker 7: Good meal, and like I think sometimes we reserve those

570
00:23:42,440 --> 00:23:45,000
Speaker 7: intimate pleasures for like you know, we just put everything

571
00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:47,040
Speaker 7: in a box. And so it's just like it's a

572
00:23:47,160 --> 00:23:50,040
Speaker 7: it's a practice of spiritual like technology that is like

573
00:23:50,119 --> 00:23:52,679
Speaker 7: a practice of being in tune with your pleasure and

574
00:23:52,720 --> 00:23:56,960
Speaker 7: not like removing not removing the divinity from intimacy and

575
00:23:57,000 --> 00:23:59,480
Speaker 7: from sex, you know, because it's very it's given to

576
00:23:59,560 --> 00:24:02,480
Speaker 7: us by God. And I think it's just about teaching

577
00:24:02,520 --> 00:24:04,320
Speaker 7: and practicing other people to do that too.

578
00:24:04,640 --> 00:24:06,720
Speaker 5: That's what that's the definition of tantru.

579
00:24:06,840 --> 00:24:09,320
Speaker 3: The definition of tantra is weaving sound and light.

580
00:24:10,280 --> 00:24:12,240
Speaker 8: It's like how you play good We'll see that's going

581
00:24:12,280 --> 00:24:13,800
Speaker 8: back to sex, say, like how you play a good

582
00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:16,280
Speaker 8: playlist and like you set the move, but that's going.

583
00:24:16,119 --> 00:24:18,160
Speaker 7: Back to well, it's like sound and light with form, right,

584
00:24:18,280 --> 00:24:21,119
Speaker 7: So it's like it's it's literally like compounding all the

585
00:24:21,280 --> 00:24:23,439
Speaker 7: all the things, all the things that bringing pleasure and

586
00:24:23,480 --> 00:24:27,600
Speaker 7: weaving them together and understanding like the whole the totality

587
00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:29,679
Speaker 7: of it. One thing is not just here. Sex and

588
00:24:29,680 --> 00:24:32,000
Speaker 7: pleasure not just here. This is not just here. It's

589
00:24:32,040 --> 00:24:34,720
Speaker 7: all in. It's all blurry, it's all watercolors.

590
00:24:35,240 --> 00:24:37,480
Speaker 4: When you said that, I envisioned like a candle lid,

591
00:24:37,960 --> 00:24:39,960
Speaker 4: Like you're smoking a blunt and the smoke is going,

592
00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:41,920
Speaker 4: but then like some music might be playing, like all

593
00:24:41,960 --> 00:24:42,960
Speaker 4: of that light like a.

594
00:24:44,560 --> 00:24:47,800
Speaker 7: Far too yeah, like whenever it's gonna like interact with

595
00:24:47,840 --> 00:24:50,119
Speaker 7: all your senses, your taste, your sound, like like you

596
00:24:50,160 --> 00:24:51,120
Speaker 7: said to sound bath.

597
00:24:51,800 --> 00:24:54,679
Speaker 6: Yeah, and you know we're actually doing our first couple's

598
00:24:54,720 --> 00:24:56,800
Speaker 6: retreat in June, which is.

599
00:24:57,440 --> 00:24:58,880
Speaker 5: June fourteen and Coasta Rica.

600
00:24:59,040 --> 00:25:00,840
Speaker 8: Yes, I have a person, you meet the people there.

601
00:25:00,880 --> 00:25:03,480
Speaker 8: You got to have a person to go to that, right, Yeah,

602
00:25:03,560 --> 00:25:03,960
Speaker 8: this one.

603
00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:09,760
Speaker 6: But I should like a matchmaking situation, singles.

604
00:25:11,200 --> 00:25:13,919
Speaker 3: You might have. You know what.

605
00:25:13,960 --> 00:25:16,159
Speaker 6: I encourage people that are just starting to date to

606
00:25:16,240 --> 00:25:19,040
Speaker 6: come to tap into these type of experiences as well,

607
00:25:19,040 --> 00:25:21,040
Speaker 6: because it really helps set the foundation for the rest

608
00:25:21,040 --> 00:25:22,720
Speaker 6: of your relationship. Like don't wait till you have some

609
00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:25,080
Speaker 6: ship going on your relationship, be like, let we need

610
00:25:25,119 --> 00:25:25,800
Speaker 6: to go on a retreat.

611
00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:30,800
Speaker 8: But how do you know, Because what I was about

612
00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:32,320
Speaker 8: to say is if you got a couple of things

613
00:25:32,359 --> 00:25:33,879
Speaker 8: going on? How you know which one like.

614
00:25:34,800 --> 00:25:37,159
Speaker 3: You want to Yeah, I'm a leaning you always know.

615
00:25:37,280 --> 00:25:39,159
Speaker 8: No, you might have like one and a good one

616
00:25:39,200 --> 00:25:40,920
Speaker 8: and a possible right, but it's like then you lean

617
00:25:40,960 --> 00:25:42,639
Speaker 8: in the wrong way too much, and then that messes

618
00:25:42,680 --> 00:25:44,400
Speaker 8: up and you don't want to for.

619
00:25:44,359 --> 00:25:46,440
Speaker 3: Four days, and now you can't talk to the other one.

620
00:25:47,080 --> 00:25:51,280
Speaker 3: Would how do you know what you want to go?

621
00:25:51,680 --> 00:25:51,760
Speaker 5: Like?

622
00:25:51,880 --> 00:25:53,639
Speaker 3: How am I bringing you to this couple's retreat?

623
00:25:53,640 --> 00:25:55,240
Speaker 8: It's going to isolate just me and you for these

624
00:25:55,320 --> 00:25:57,880
Speaker 8: days and cut off my conversation to any and every

625
00:25:58,800 --> 00:26:02,400
Speaker 8: couple to No, that's not what I'm saying.

626
00:26:02,480 --> 00:26:03,960
Speaker 3: I'm asking for women who are dating.

627
00:26:03,800 --> 00:26:07,960
Speaker 1: Multiple If I'm the possible, I'm super upset.

628
00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:10,879
Speaker 6: I don't know who is number one on the roster.

629
00:26:11,040 --> 00:26:13,800
Speaker 6: That's who you bring. You don't know that's who your

630
00:26:13,920 --> 00:26:14,520
Speaker 6: I don't even have.

631
00:26:14,480 --> 00:26:19,080
Speaker 7: A There is never a fucking solid tie.

632
00:26:19,119 --> 00:26:21,600
Speaker 3: I've had many rosters. There's never a solid tie.

633
00:26:21,640 --> 00:26:23,520
Speaker 7: It's always someone you want to spend more time with

634
00:26:23,560 --> 00:26:25,280
Speaker 7: and the other one's just available.

635
00:26:25,480 --> 00:26:27,040
Speaker 3: Have you guys ever had someone come this is your

636
00:26:27,040 --> 00:26:28,720
Speaker 3: first couple of retreat? Are you doing another one? This

637
00:26:28,800 --> 00:26:29,280
Speaker 3: is our first one?

638
00:26:29,560 --> 00:26:31,480
Speaker 8: Okay, I was going to say, but if somebody shows

639
00:26:31,520 --> 00:26:32,920
Speaker 8: up with the person they're not supposed to be there with,

640
00:26:32,960 --> 00:26:33,960
Speaker 8: how do you guys handle that?

641
00:26:34,119 --> 00:26:39,440
Speaker 3: Like, I'm gonna tell you, I don't know. I don't.

642
00:26:39,600 --> 00:26:40,040
Speaker 3: We haven't.

643
00:26:40,400 --> 00:26:43,400
Speaker 8: Haven't you get the vibe through like the different things

644
00:26:43,400 --> 00:26:44,679
Speaker 8: that you're doing throughout the weekend.

645
00:26:45,160 --> 00:26:48,240
Speaker 3: I don't think y'all should mesh Well, well, first of all,

646
00:26:48,440 --> 00:26:50,080
Speaker 3: for me, I'm not going to do that.

647
00:26:50,119 --> 00:26:52,560
Speaker 6: I'm going to allow them to self discover and through

648
00:26:52,560 --> 00:26:54,960
Speaker 6: the practices they're going to it's going to be crystal

649
00:26:55,000 --> 00:26:57,520
Speaker 6: clear and the twister clear.

650
00:26:57,640 --> 00:26:57,879
Speaker 8: You know.

651
00:26:58,720 --> 00:27:01,359
Speaker 6: But hopefully, you know, hopefully that's not the case, you know,

652
00:27:01,480 --> 00:27:03,200
Speaker 6: And and I know you don't have a partner right now.

653
00:27:03,240 --> 00:27:04,919
Speaker 6: But we do have women's retreats.

654
00:27:04,840 --> 00:27:05,960
Speaker 3: Actually zero.

655
00:27:09,320 --> 00:27:11,160
Speaker 1: Ry Retreat and we.

656
00:27:11,080 --> 00:27:12,960
Speaker 6: Actually just release our dates for the summertime and we're

657
00:27:12,960 --> 00:27:15,120
Speaker 6: actually doing a giveaway and we want we're giving away

658
00:27:15,119 --> 00:27:17,439
Speaker 6: a free spot. So if anyone listening is interested in

659
00:27:17,480 --> 00:27:20,040
Speaker 6: coming to women's retreat in Costa Rica, it's the Reset

660
00:27:20,040 --> 00:27:23,800
Speaker 6: and Vibe Retreat. This is really about really resetting your vibe,

661
00:27:23,800 --> 00:27:26,959
Speaker 6: resetting your nervous system, tapping in meeting a group of

662
00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:28,080
Speaker 6: like minded women.

663
00:27:28,280 --> 00:27:30,160
Speaker 3: Manifesting the man of your dream.

664
00:27:31,640 --> 00:27:35,680
Speaker 6: It's playful, it's jamilus, titties will be out.

665
00:27:36,760 --> 00:27:38,520
Speaker 3: There's there is a lot of nudity at the retreats.

666
00:27:38,560 --> 00:27:41,480
Speaker 3: Women are like, is it resert, No, we take over

667
00:27:41,520 --> 00:27:41,960
Speaker 3: the property.

668
00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:44,679
Speaker 6: They take over property, and people women are just like

669
00:27:44,760 --> 00:27:45,960
Speaker 6: want to be confident in their bodies.

670
00:27:45,960 --> 00:27:48,679
Speaker 3: Some women have literally never even walked around their house naked,

671
00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:49,199
Speaker 3: you know.

672
00:27:49,240 --> 00:27:51,040
Speaker 6: So this is a safe space for you to like

673
00:27:51,640 --> 00:27:53,879
Speaker 6: explore all the facets of you. You don't have to

674
00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:55,399
Speaker 6: do that. It's not a requirement. This is not a

675
00:27:55,440 --> 00:27:57,800
Speaker 6: newdist retreat. I want to be clear, but this is

676
00:27:57,800 --> 00:27:59,639
Speaker 6: a place for you to show up. However it is

677
00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:01,840
Speaker 6: that you want to whoever you are when you're here

678
00:28:01,880 --> 00:28:03,520
Speaker 6: in New York or wherever the hell, or when you're

679
00:28:03,520 --> 00:28:06,080
Speaker 6: with your homegirl that you've known since you were twelve

680
00:28:06,080 --> 00:28:08,640
Speaker 6: and she's still holding you to this archaic version of yourself.

681
00:28:08,760 --> 00:28:11,000
Speaker 6: When you come to the retreat, you can be whoever

682
00:28:11,000 --> 00:28:12,600
Speaker 6: the fuck you want to be. You can rebrand yourself.

683
00:28:12,600 --> 00:28:13,960
Speaker 6: You can be the loudest girl in the room. Maybe

684
00:28:13,960 --> 00:28:17,320
Speaker 6: you're the quietest one at work, you know. And this

685
00:28:17,359 --> 00:28:20,679
Speaker 6: is a place where I have seen such incredible, incredible

686
00:28:20,680 --> 00:28:24,680
Speaker 6: transformations from the women from the literally from the beginning

687
00:28:24,800 --> 00:28:27,800
Speaker 6: when they walk on property to the end and then

688
00:28:27,840 --> 00:28:31,120
Speaker 6: it keeps going. And not only that, the women stay connected.

689
00:28:31,560 --> 00:28:33,080
Speaker 6: So you know, when the work that we do, we

690
00:28:33,119 --> 00:28:35,000
Speaker 6: get so many questions of like I don't have any

691
00:28:35,000 --> 00:28:38,120
Speaker 6: female friends, I don't trust women, you know, I don't

692
00:28:38,120 --> 00:28:40,960
Speaker 6: fuck with women like that. Well you need to, you know,

693
00:28:41,080 --> 00:28:43,080
Speaker 6: I don't think that's really an option now, like we

694
00:28:43,160 --> 00:28:46,480
Speaker 6: really need each other. And so I'm excited because we

695
00:28:46,520 --> 00:28:49,240
Speaker 6: are giving away a spot to our retreat.

696
00:28:49,320 --> 00:28:49,840
Speaker 3: So if you're.

697
00:28:49,720 --> 00:28:53,800
Speaker 6: Listening and you're interested, join our Patreon and all the

698
00:28:53,840 --> 00:28:57,600
Speaker 6: details are in our patreon of how to enter the giveaway.

699
00:28:58,040 --> 00:29:00,720
Speaker 6: And it's an all expense pay trip minus the flight,

700
00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:04,520
Speaker 6: but everything there. Once you arrive, everything's handled for you.

701
00:29:04,560 --> 00:29:06,600
Speaker 6: And that's the thing too, is like as women, we're

702
00:29:06,640 --> 00:29:08,920
Speaker 6: such a doers. We want to like plan every little

703
00:29:08,960 --> 00:29:10,440
Speaker 6: thing when you arrive.

704
00:29:11,080 --> 00:29:13,200
Speaker 3: Me and Mela. Me and Mela take care of everything.

705
00:29:13,200 --> 00:29:14,680
Speaker 5: So do you subscribe to the patreon.

706
00:29:15,640 --> 00:29:18,240
Speaker 6: You go to patreon dot com slash Good Mom's Bad

707
00:29:18,320 --> 00:29:21,000
Speaker 6: Choices and then you will see all the details there

708
00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:23,680
Speaker 6: And once you just subscribe to Patreon, you get access

709
00:29:23,720 --> 00:29:26,800
Speaker 6: to our Discord Community, which is really like that is

710
00:29:26,880 --> 00:29:28,320
Speaker 6: like the most like.

711
00:29:28,480 --> 00:29:31,920
Speaker 7: Rich intimate tribe. There's a lot of moms and women.

712
00:29:31,960 --> 00:29:33,640
Speaker 7: There's men there too, but you know, it's a lot

713
00:29:33,640 --> 00:29:37,480
Speaker 7: of honest talking. And so it's like Tender for Friends.

714
00:29:38,520 --> 00:29:41,280
Speaker 4: The Reset plus Vibe and Coast Reka. That's February first

715
00:29:41,280 --> 00:29:42,760
Speaker 4: through the six Yeah.

716
00:29:42,600 --> 00:29:47,280
Speaker 3: But that's done, that's sold out. Yeah, this is in

717
00:29:47,360 --> 00:29:47,920
Speaker 3: the summertime.

718
00:29:47,960 --> 00:29:50,440
Speaker 6: So this is July thirty first through August fifth, So

719
00:29:50,480 --> 00:29:51,400
Speaker 6: it's the summertime.

720
00:29:51,840 --> 00:29:55,480
Speaker 3: Get the babysitter, you have time, stop making excuses. Come

721
00:29:55,520 --> 00:29:56,160
Speaker 3: by yourself.

722
00:29:56,280 --> 00:29:58,320
Speaker 6: Ninety percent of the women actually, like ninety eight percent

723
00:29:58,360 --> 00:30:01,320
Speaker 6: of the women come alone to our retreats, and I

724
00:30:01,360 --> 00:30:03,680
Speaker 6: recommend it. Like I said, like when you go on

725
00:30:03,720 --> 00:30:05,760
Speaker 6: trips with friends, sometimes you feel like you got to

726
00:30:05,800 --> 00:30:08,040
Speaker 6: take care of bitches. You feel like you can't be

727
00:30:08,360 --> 00:30:10,840
Speaker 6: You're like this new version you're trying to be and

728
00:30:10,880 --> 00:30:11,720
Speaker 6: not friends like that.

729
00:30:12,320 --> 00:30:13,400
Speaker 3: Some people that's crazy.

730
00:30:13,480 --> 00:30:15,120
Speaker 1: They usually taking care of you. That's why you don't

731
00:30:15,240 --> 00:30:15,760
Speaker 1: understand it.

732
00:30:15,800 --> 00:30:19,440
Speaker 3: First of all, they all do.

733
00:30:19,520 --> 00:30:21,720
Speaker 6: People You're always like not you, but like women are

734
00:30:21,760 --> 00:30:23,719
Speaker 6: always asking for permission, like do you want to go?

735
00:30:23,840 --> 00:30:25,000
Speaker 3: Do you want what do you you don't want.

736
00:30:24,880 --> 00:30:28,360
Speaker 7: To don't want to wait, you want shots.

737
00:30:29,520 --> 00:30:31,840
Speaker 4: That's what you're friends to be asking you, saying all

738
00:30:31,840 --> 00:30:33,520
Speaker 4: the time, over and over and over.

739
00:30:34,960 --> 00:30:37,000
Speaker 8: You made a good point earlier about the mom friend

740
00:30:37,080 --> 00:30:39,440
Speaker 8: her being your first mom friend. I have a friend

741
00:30:39,520 --> 00:30:41,200
Speaker 8: who is the only one out of our friend group

742
00:30:41,200 --> 00:30:43,360
Speaker 8: that has a kid, and I remember she was going

743
00:30:43,400 --> 00:30:44,840
Speaker 8: through a point where she was trying to figure out

744
00:30:44,880 --> 00:30:46,600
Speaker 8: mom friends. She has them now, and I used to

745
00:30:46,680 --> 00:30:48,280
Speaker 8: be like, why you want to have other friends, like

746
00:30:48,320 --> 00:30:51,000
Speaker 8: we are friends? What can you talk about them that

747
00:30:51,280 --> 00:30:53,400
Speaker 8: discovery journey? And like why that's important? Because I think

748
00:30:53,400 --> 00:30:54,960
Speaker 8: she did need that none that I'm older. But then

749
00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:57,320
Speaker 8: I was like, girl, who don't people you've.

750
00:30:57,160 --> 00:31:01,200
Speaker 6: Gone through this incredible rite of passage that you can't

751
00:31:01,240 --> 00:31:03,320
Speaker 6: explain to anybody else, like you have this kind of

752
00:31:03,360 --> 00:31:05,960
Speaker 6: like you had to be there, you know. And I

753
00:31:05,960 --> 00:31:09,640
Speaker 6: think sometimes, of course, like the aunties matter when we

754
00:31:09,720 --> 00:31:12,520
Speaker 6: need the aunties all the time, But I think like

755
00:31:12,920 --> 00:31:17,160
Speaker 6: when moms find their mom friend, it creates a place

756
00:31:17,200 --> 00:31:21,440
Speaker 6: where there's like a very true understanding of where we're at,

757
00:31:21,480 --> 00:31:23,640
Speaker 6: what we're doing, what we're dealing with. You know, the

758
00:31:23,680 --> 00:31:25,600
Speaker 6: aunties only want to hear about you bitching about your

759
00:31:25,640 --> 00:31:27,240
Speaker 6: kids so long. They're like, girl, is she gonna come

760
00:31:27,280 --> 00:31:27,600
Speaker 6: around and.

761
00:31:27,560 --> 00:31:29,400
Speaker 3: Talk about this baby? And oh my god.

762
00:31:30,680 --> 00:31:32,800
Speaker 6: You know, so I feel like moms have a little

763
00:31:32,920 --> 00:31:35,080
Speaker 6: more tolerance for that.

764
00:31:36,160 --> 00:31:37,960
Speaker 5: So moms can't be aunties break that down for me.

765
00:31:38,320 --> 00:31:39,440
Speaker 3: No, no, no, they can.

766
00:31:39,720 --> 00:31:41,480
Speaker 6: I was just saying that. I was just saying that

767
00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:44,160
Speaker 6: she was asking about the mom friends situation. So I'm

768
00:31:44,200 --> 00:31:47,720
Speaker 6: saying like that aunties matter. But like having a person

769
00:31:47,760 --> 00:31:51,120
Speaker 6: that's actually going through the same thing is it's.

770
00:31:50,960 --> 00:31:54,000
Speaker 3: A different It's a different type of support. Yeah.

771
00:31:54,040 --> 00:31:56,080
Speaker 4: You know, it's interesting because you know, I'm sure people

772
00:31:56,560 --> 00:31:58,479
Speaker 4: judge all just because of the content. That's what they do,

773
00:31:58,560 --> 00:32:00,560
Speaker 4: especially in the podcast space. If you two black women

774
00:32:00,840 --> 00:32:04,000
Speaker 4: and you're sexually liberated and you're talking about it, people judge.

775
00:32:04,040 --> 00:32:06,760
Speaker 4: But the reality is y'all are just having conversations out

776
00:32:06,800 --> 00:32:08,480
Speaker 4: loud that people have in private.

777
00:32:08,240 --> 00:32:11,000
Speaker 5: All the damn time. Like mama got to have a life.

778
00:32:10,760 --> 00:32:15,840
Speaker 8: Too, Yeah, after the baby is here. Yeah first, no,

779
00:32:15,880 --> 00:32:17,480
Speaker 8: I'm not talking about me. I'm talking about my friends

780
00:32:17,480 --> 00:32:18,600
Speaker 8: that I make sure you have a good time. That

781
00:32:18,640 --> 00:32:21,040
Speaker 8: he was trying to play me about earlier. Mama's want

782
00:32:21,080 --> 00:32:24,000
Speaker 8: shots too, I'm.

783
00:32:23,040 --> 00:32:26,480
Speaker 7: Needs shots more than yeah shots, Actually I only have

784
00:32:26,720 --> 00:32:27,200
Speaker 7: three hours.

785
00:32:27,280 --> 00:32:28,760
Speaker 3: Let's go. Oh yeah.

786
00:32:28,840 --> 00:32:30,960
Speaker 6: There's no one more drunk than a mom without a

787
00:32:30,960 --> 00:32:32,360
Speaker 6: Friday night and Friday night without her.

788
00:32:32,360 --> 00:32:34,800
Speaker 3: Kid paying for a babysitter. This shit counts.

789
00:32:36,040 --> 00:32:38,160
Speaker 4: How do you think y'all are breaking the old stereotype

790
00:32:38,200 --> 00:32:41,400
Speaker 4: of pleasure deprived motherhood.

791
00:32:41,440 --> 00:32:42,720
Speaker 3: I guess being.

792
00:32:42,560 --> 00:32:44,760
Speaker 7: An example, you know, I think, like she said, like

793
00:32:44,800 --> 00:32:47,720
Speaker 7: we genuinely do give people permission. And it's because sometimes

794
00:32:47,760 --> 00:32:50,120
Speaker 7: you don't even I think women don't even realize that

795
00:32:50,120 --> 00:32:52,560
Speaker 7: it's an option to show up as yourself. When you

796
00:32:52,600 --> 00:32:54,720
Speaker 7: hear two people and you're like, oh, oh.

797
00:32:54,600 --> 00:32:57,320
Speaker 3: They did that. Oh they're talking about it. That's crazy.

798
00:32:57,560 --> 00:32:58,760
Speaker 3: Oh she's talking about the three summer.

799
00:32:58,760 --> 00:33:00,960
Speaker 7: She's also talking about putting her kid in you know,

800
00:33:01,120 --> 00:33:03,040
Speaker 7: like those are these are real shit.

801
00:33:03,120 --> 00:33:03,720
Speaker 3: It's real shit.

802
00:33:03,720 --> 00:33:05,760
Speaker 7: But I think sometimes we especially as black women, we

803
00:33:05,800 --> 00:33:07,640
Speaker 7: actually need to see it done. We need to see

804
00:33:07,760 --> 00:33:11,640
Speaker 7: just have the permission, or else we just automatically sweep

805
00:33:11,640 --> 00:33:14,000
Speaker 7: it as all one thing. It's all bad because we've

806
00:33:14,000 --> 00:33:15,600
Speaker 7: been told, we've been given a lot of rules, and

807
00:33:15,680 --> 00:33:18,280
Speaker 7: like unfortunately black women have the most, you know, we

808
00:33:18,320 --> 00:33:19,920
Speaker 7: have to fit into the square the most, a lot

809
00:33:19,920 --> 00:33:22,120
Speaker 7: of white women can fuck up. They could, you know,

810
00:33:22,960 --> 00:33:25,560
Speaker 7: overdose and then host the Grammys the next day and

811
00:33:25,600 --> 00:33:28,560
Speaker 7: everybody's fine. But black women we don't end from them,

812
00:33:28,600 --> 00:33:30,560
Speaker 7: and we don't get as much, you know, like leeway.

813
00:33:30,680 --> 00:33:33,480
Speaker 7: And so I think people women genuinely needed to see

814
00:33:33,520 --> 00:33:35,240
Speaker 7: us do the thing and hear about us doing the

815
00:33:35,280 --> 00:33:35,880
Speaker 7: thing to.

816
00:33:35,800 --> 00:33:37,000
Speaker 3: Be like, oh, I could do that shit too.

817
00:33:37,120 --> 00:33:37,760
Speaker 5: Absolutely.

818
00:33:37,880 --> 00:33:40,400
Speaker 8: I read an Essence article on you guys, and you

819
00:33:40,480 --> 00:33:43,479
Speaker 8: talked about apologizing to your kid and how good that

820
00:33:43,560 --> 00:33:46,000
Speaker 8: has been and how freeing that is. And we always

821
00:33:46,000 --> 00:33:48,560
Speaker 8: had this conversation me with my mom, like I'd be like,

822
00:33:48,560 --> 00:33:50,680
Speaker 8: you need to learn how to apologize, but you guys

823
00:33:50,680 --> 00:33:53,320
Speaker 8: are doing it early. Why and how has it worked

824
00:33:53,360 --> 00:33:54,440
Speaker 8: in your relationship with your kid?

825
00:33:54,600 --> 00:33:55,440
Speaker 3: Because I didn't get it.

826
00:33:56,000 --> 00:33:58,400
Speaker 6: I didn't get no apologies, you know, and so and

827
00:33:58,440 --> 00:34:05,280
Speaker 6: I realized how I realized that as when as I was,

828
00:34:05,880 --> 00:34:07,719
Speaker 6: as I was evolving in motherhood. And I always tell

829
00:34:07,760 --> 00:34:09,520
Speaker 6: people I'm a ten year old mother, Like I only

830
00:34:09,560 --> 00:34:11,200
Speaker 6: know as much as I know above a ten year

831
00:34:11,239 --> 00:34:11,719
Speaker 6: old mother.

832
00:34:11,840 --> 00:34:14,719
Speaker 3: You know, I'm new ish at this point, maybe a

833
00:34:14,760 --> 00:34:15,880
Speaker 3: little seasoned.

834
00:34:15,520 --> 00:34:20,600
Speaker 6: Not quite, but I've seen the power of apologizing. I've

835
00:34:20,640 --> 00:34:24,600
Speaker 6: seen how much my daughter feels safe and talking to

836
00:34:24,640 --> 00:34:27,080
Speaker 6: me because her mom is willing to say, hey, I

837
00:34:27,120 --> 00:34:27,719
Speaker 6: kind of fucked up.

838
00:34:27,719 --> 00:34:28,480
Speaker 3: I'm sorry about that.

839
00:34:28,560 --> 00:34:31,239
Speaker 6: Hey I lost my temper. And I think a lot

840
00:34:31,320 --> 00:34:33,200
Speaker 6: of times we've pushed things under the rug, and like

841
00:34:33,280 --> 00:34:36,240
Speaker 6: all those things they that you don't forget them as kids,

842
00:34:36,480 --> 00:34:38,400
Speaker 6: you know they and then they show up in different

843
00:34:38,719 --> 00:34:41,279
Speaker 6: ways in your life where you now have a problem apologizing.

844
00:34:41,560 --> 00:34:44,319
Speaker 6: You can't acknowledge the things that you've done wrong, and

845
00:34:44,360 --> 00:34:45,439
Speaker 6: now it's holding you back.

846
00:34:45,480 --> 00:34:47,319
Speaker 3: And so I just didn't I don't want that for her.

847
00:34:47,680 --> 00:34:48,760
Speaker 3: And so I think it's really.

848
00:34:48,560 --> 00:34:53,440
Speaker 6: Important for parents overall to get used to that idea

849
00:34:53,719 --> 00:34:57,080
Speaker 6: not idea that that that thing and and do that,

850
00:34:57,400 --> 00:34:59,120
Speaker 6: and like why wouldn't you Why wouldn't you want to

851
00:34:59,120 --> 00:35:00,920
Speaker 6: apologize to your child if you know you fucked up.

852
00:35:01,960 --> 00:35:03,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, And it feels good.

853
00:35:03,760 --> 00:35:07,200
Speaker 6: It feels good to like reverse whatever it is that

854
00:35:07,400 --> 00:35:09,640
Speaker 6: you know didn't work for you, you know. I think

855
00:35:09,680 --> 00:35:12,480
Speaker 6: about like I had like a recent like parenting moment

856
00:35:12,800 --> 00:35:15,600
Speaker 6: with my daughter because she was getting bullied at school

857
00:35:15,719 --> 00:35:17,839
Speaker 6: and I was like, oh, no, so we're here because

858
00:35:17,840 --> 00:35:18,439
Speaker 6: I'm gonna beat.

859
00:35:18,320 --> 00:35:20,920
Speaker 3: All these little bitches. Assess. I was like, Okay, you

860
00:35:20,920 --> 00:35:22,719
Speaker 3: can't do that. Don't do that, Erica.

861
00:35:23,760 --> 00:35:25,360
Speaker 5: You can.

862
00:35:25,719 --> 00:35:29,040
Speaker 6: Well now I'm on Breakfast Club talking about it. So shit,

863
00:35:30,800 --> 00:35:35,000
Speaker 6: it wasn't me. And you know, at first I was like,

864
00:35:35,000 --> 00:35:37,000
Speaker 6: all right, I'm just gonna like talk to the school

865
00:35:37,040 --> 00:35:39,080
Speaker 6: and have them deal with this because I don't know

866
00:35:39,120 --> 00:35:41,560
Speaker 6: what to do. And then I was like, no, I

867
00:35:41,600 --> 00:35:43,920
Speaker 6: have to have to face this head on. And so

868
00:35:44,160 --> 00:35:45,759
Speaker 6: you know, I was just you know, I sat with

869
00:35:45,800 --> 00:35:47,160
Speaker 6: her and talked to her. She had a really hard

870
00:35:47,160 --> 00:35:49,600
Speaker 6: time telling me because I think she's my daughter's going

871
00:35:49,640 --> 00:35:53,239
Speaker 6: to be ten and right now in her life, like her,

872
00:35:53,600 --> 00:35:55,600
Speaker 6: her social circle is very important to her. You know,

873
00:35:55,680 --> 00:35:57,920
Speaker 6: she's just building these friendships and like it feels like

874
00:35:57,960 --> 00:36:02,640
Speaker 6: her whole world, so stirring the pot feels like it's

875
00:36:02,840 --> 00:36:04,600
Speaker 6: it's not a big deal, it's fine, you know. And

876
00:36:04,640 --> 00:36:07,520
Speaker 6: so I was just empowering her to stand up for herself.

877
00:36:08,000 --> 00:36:11,480
Speaker 6: And after that moment, like us talking it through.

878
00:36:11,320 --> 00:36:12,600
Speaker 3: I was like, damn, that was good.

879
00:36:12,719 --> 00:36:13,000
Speaker 1: Yeah.

880
00:36:13,360 --> 00:36:15,280
Speaker 3: Do you ever have those moments and.

881
00:36:15,160 --> 00:36:20,200
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, apologizing to my she's sixteen, apologizing to her,

882
00:36:20,239 --> 00:36:22,480
Speaker 4: I can't eve remember to I apologize for and she said,

883
00:36:22,480 --> 00:36:25,000
Speaker 4: it's okay, this's your first time doing this, just meaning

884
00:36:25,040 --> 00:36:27,360
Speaker 4: your first time as a father, like you know, you

885
00:36:27,440 --> 00:36:29,319
Speaker 4: have a sixteen So I was like, oh, okay that

886
00:36:30,320 --> 00:36:31,040
Speaker 4: but it's true.

887
00:36:31,120 --> 00:36:33,280
Speaker 7: Like I don't know, we're wringing it. You know, maybe

888
00:36:33,280 --> 00:36:34,719
Speaker 7: you're a professional over here.

889
00:36:38,040 --> 00:36:40,600
Speaker 1: Mine goes from twenty three to three. So it's all

890
00:36:40,640 --> 00:36:42,399
Speaker 1: over again. It's all over.

891
00:36:42,480 --> 00:36:44,840
Speaker 2: But you know, I got lucky with a lot like so,

892
00:36:44,960 --> 00:36:46,520
Speaker 2: I was an only child, so the bullying thing, I

893
00:36:46,560 --> 00:36:48,280
Speaker 2: had to deal with myself as a kid being bully.

894
00:36:48,320 --> 00:36:51,359
Speaker 2: But they got siblings now, so where you know, if

895
00:36:51,400 --> 00:36:53,080
Speaker 2: my ten year old, I got a eleven year old

896
00:36:53,080 --> 00:36:54,680
Speaker 2: that's going to go to the school and hold it

897
00:36:54,719 --> 00:36:56,480
Speaker 2: down where it's not daddy. I could push it, but like, yo,

898
00:36:56,480 --> 00:36:58,319
Speaker 2: go look out for your sister. But you know, some

899
00:36:58,360 --> 00:37:00,680
Speaker 2: of those things I have because we have those conversations.

900
00:37:00,680 --> 00:37:03,759
Speaker 2: But I think the best thing is, like you said, apologies, right,

901
00:37:04,280 --> 00:37:07,040
Speaker 2: My dad and my mom never apologized to me if

902
00:37:07,080 --> 00:37:09,560
Speaker 2: they were wrong. You ate it pause. But I think

903
00:37:09,560 --> 00:37:11,520
Speaker 2: with me, it's like, man, let me talk to you. You know,

904
00:37:11,640 --> 00:37:13,560
Speaker 2: Dad was a little upset, this was the reason why

905
00:37:13,600 --> 00:37:14,160
Speaker 2: this happened.

906
00:37:14,200 --> 00:37:15,440
Speaker 1: And they respect you.

907
00:37:15,440 --> 00:37:17,160
Speaker 2: And look at you a lot differently, and they're able

908
00:37:17,200 --> 00:37:19,759
Speaker 2: to be free, Like my kids have conversations with me

909
00:37:19,880 --> 00:37:21,719
Speaker 2: that I'm surprised that they tell me stuff.

910
00:37:21,480 --> 00:37:21,880
Speaker 3: And I'm like, I.

911
00:37:24,080 --> 00:37:26,880
Speaker 2: Would never tell my dad this, but they feel so comfortable,

912
00:37:26,920 --> 00:37:28,319
Speaker 2: And sometimes I got to take a step back and

913
00:37:28,360 --> 00:37:30,799
Speaker 2: be like, I have to understand, you know, which is

914
00:37:30,920 --> 00:37:31,239
Speaker 2: well and.

915
00:37:31,200 --> 00:37:32,719
Speaker 3: It's a testament they were doing a great job.

916
00:37:33,080 --> 00:37:34,920
Speaker 6: And you know, if your kids are talking to you

917
00:37:34,960 --> 00:37:37,759
Speaker 6: in that way, like it's a it's those little like

918
00:37:37,760 --> 00:37:39,600
Speaker 6: like confirmations along.

919
00:37:39,360 --> 00:37:40,759
Speaker 3: The way, you're like, Okay, I'm not fucking up.

920
00:37:40,800 --> 00:37:43,520
Speaker 6: They're safe, they feel safe. They feel safe, yeah, and

921
00:37:43,880 --> 00:37:45,399
Speaker 6: you know it feels good. Like I said, it feels

922
00:37:45,400 --> 00:37:47,359
Speaker 6: good to apologize to my daughter, and I've actually even

923
00:37:47,360 --> 00:37:50,640
Speaker 6: said to her, listen, I don't really know what I'm doing.

924
00:37:52,520 --> 00:37:52,919
Speaker 3: It out.

925
00:37:53,400 --> 00:37:56,120
Speaker 7: You know, we've only only we can only reference our parents,

926
00:37:56,520 --> 00:37:59,880
Speaker 7: our parents parenting, and ultimately, like they've they could use

927
00:37:59,880 --> 00:38:02,160
Speaker 7: some improvement. But if you don't have the space to

928
00:38:02,280 --> 00:38:03,840
Speaker 7: like reflect and be like, okay, well this could have

929
00:38:03,880 --> 00:38:06,480
Speaker 7: been better and then apply it, you know, without you

930
00:38:06,560 --> 00:38:09,160
Speaker 7: have to be able to question what has happened in

931
00:38:09,239 --> 00:38:11,839
Speaker 7: order to improve the systems. And you know, it's true,

932
00:38:11,880 --> 00:38:14,000
Speaker 7: sometimes I'm reacting in a way, I'm like, why the

933
00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:15,319
Speaker 7: fuck am I talking like this? I'm like, oh, that's

934
00:38:15,320 --> 00:38:17,160
Speaker 7: how I was talked to. But then I have to

935
00:38:17,200 --> 00:38:19,799
Speaker 7: pivot and shift and it takes work, you know, like

936
00:38:20,640 --> 00:38:25,600
Speaker 7: mothering a child while also mothering myself, parenting myself, reprogramming

937
00:38:25,640 --> 00:38:29,120
Speaker 7: myself is I'm sure we've all experienced it, like it's difficult,

938
00:38:29,120 --> 00:38:32,080
Speaker 7: but it's necessary for our kids to inherit different habits

939
00:38:32,160 --> 00:38:34,880
Speaker 7: and so when their parents hopefully that it were changing

940
00:38:34,920 --> 00:38:37,960
Speaker 7: generationally each time and getting better instead of just doing

941
00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:39,480
Speaker 7: the same shit over and over again.

942
00:38:39,640 --> 00:38:42,239
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that was the most difficult to not

943
00:38:42,320 --> 00:38:44,320
Speaker 2: do what my parents do right my kids as to

944
00:38:44,360 --> 00:38:46,120
Speaker 2: go out no why because I said so, because that's

945
00:38:46,160 --> 00:38:48,040
Speaker 2: what I've heard. But then you have to come back

946
00:38:48,040 --> 00:38:49,520
Speaker 2: and be like, well, let me explain.

947
00:38:49,239 --> 00:38:51,640
Speaker 1: Why I think it's a bad idea. But as a kid,

948
00:38:51,880 --> 00:38:52,200
Speaker 1: you just.

949
00:38:52,200 --> 00:38:53,799
Speaker 2: Took it because you was like, I'm not arguing with

950
00:38:53,800 --> 00:38:55,879
Speaker 2: my mother, pops. But now you got to come back like, well,

951
00:38:55,880 --> 00:38:57,319
Speaker 2: the reason I really don't want you to go is

952
00:38:57,320 --> 00:38:58,920
Speaker 2: because it's not a safe environment if you got to

953
00:38:58,920 --> 00:39:00,879
Speaker 2: think about it this time yet, And it's like, damn,

954
00:39:00,920 --> 00:39:02,680
Speaker 2: I'm really explaining myself to my three year old.

955
00:39:02,760 --> 00:39:04,400
Speaker 1: But it is what it is.

956
00:39:04,680 --> 00:39:07,359
Speaker 7: But now they feel respected as a human being because

957
00:39:07,360 --> 00:39:09,560
Speaker 7: our kids are human beings, you know, and that thing

958
00:39:09,680 --> 00:39:11,680
Speaker 7: we forget that as parents because we weren't always treated

959
00:39:11,760 --> 00:39:12,000
Speaker 7: that way.

960
00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:13,760
Speaker 3: You're a child to stay in your place, correct.

961
00:39:13,840 --> 00:39:16,600
Speaker 4: Yeah, y'all have a book too, A Good Mom's Guide

962
00:39:16,600 --> 00:39:19,960
Speaker 4: to Making Bad Choices, explain why they need a guid

963
00:39:20,040 --> 00:39:20,960
Speaker 4: to make bad choices?

964
00:39:21,840 --> 00:39:22,040
Speaker 8: You know.

965
00:39:22,200 --> 00:39:25,920
Speaker 7: I think when we were writing this, I realized, like

966
00:39:25,960 --> 00:39:28,200
Speaker 7: there are so many books about parenthood, like.

967
00:39:28,120 --> 00:39:29,480
Speaker 3: How do you care for your baby? How do you

968
00:39:29,520 --> 00:39:30,880
Speaker 3: spottle the baby? What do you do?

969
00:39:31,000 --> 00:39:33,200
Speaker 7: You know, like there's all these there's all these things

970
00:39:33,200 --> 00:39:35,399
Speaker 7: about how you care for a baby, and there's rarely

971
00:39:35,480 --> 00:39:37,680
Speaker 7: there's no books really about how the fuck do I

972
00:39:37,680 --> 00:39:40,520
Speaker 7: care for myself after this huge thing that's happened. My

973
00:39:40,600 --> 00:39:43,520
Speaker 7: body has changed, my life has changed. I'm, you know,

974
00:39:43,640 --> 00:39:45,920
Speaker 7: implementing a new human and I'm caring for something and

975
00:39:45,960 --> 00:39:47,760
Speaker 7: there's a lot of fear. There's a lot of anxiety

976
00:39:47,800 --> 00:39:50,040
Speaker 7: in that that nobody talks about, and even for us,

977
00:39:50,040 --> 00:39:52,680
Speaker 7: our book talks about like our journey in single parenting,

978
00:39:52,680 --> 00:39:55,080
Speaker 7: there's a lot of mom experiencing that, a lot of

979
00:39:55,080 --> 00:39:57,320
Speaker 7: mom's fighting it like trying to put a fucking square

980
00:39:57,360 --> 00:40:00,160
Speaker 7: in a circle, Like sometimes it just don't work, and

981
00:40:00,160 --> 00:40:02,439
Speaker 7: that's okay. And so I think this book is really

982
00:40:02,480 --> 00:40:05,960
Speaker 7: about the guide to finding yourself, whatever that is for you,

983
00:40:06,040 --> 00:40:08,120
Speaker 7: and being authentic in it, and also like, how do

984
00:40:08,160 --> 00:40:11,360
Speaker 7: you care for yourself in this process of parenting, because

985
00:40:11,400 --> 00:40:12,600
Speaker 7: there are no books about that.

986
00:40:12,640 --> 00:40:13,719
Speaker 3: It's always about the child.

987
00:40:13,719 --> 00:40:15,480
Speaker 7: And that's the thing about motherhood itself, like it has

988
00:40:15,520 --> 00:40:18,440
Speaker 7: to be self sacrificing, but it doesn't and it shouldn't be.

989
00:40:18,480 --> 00:40:20,120
Speaker 7: And that's really what the book is based in.

990
00:40:20,680 --> 00:40:22,760
Speaker 2: I wanted to ask, you know, do you ever resent

991
00:40:22,840 --> 00:40:26,719
Speaker 2: your baby father's And the reason I ask is you know.

992
00:40:26,880 --> 00:40:30,000
Speaker 1: She said, you know because if you really look back,

993
00:40:30,040 --> 00:40:31,600
Speaker 1: and I think Charlemagne can say the same thing.

994
00:40:31,719 --> 00:40:32,800
Speaker 5: I never had a baby fathers.

995
00:40:32,800 --> 00:40:35,120
Speaker 2: No, I don't know what you've had. I don't know

996
00:40:35,120 --> 00:40:37,800
Speaker 2: what you identify as. But you know, if our wives

997
00:40:37,840 --> 00:40:39,920
Speaker 2: ever leave the kids with us for a long time,

998
00:40:40,280 --> 00:40:42,080
Speaker 2: you realize I really don't have control.

999
00:40:42,200 --> 00:40:44,640
Speaker 1: And as a father, right, your wife does.

1000
00:40:44,520 --> 00:40:46,360
Speaker 2: Everything for you and the fact that she has and

1001
00:40:46,360 --> 00:40:48,960
Speaker 2: I always say the main thing that she has is patience, Right,

1002
00:40:49,080 --> 00:40:51,120
Speaker 2: I don't have the patience, but do you ever resent

1003
00:40:51,320 --> 00:40:53,680
Speaker 2: like he's not here, he's not here to help. I

1004
00:40:53,680 --> 00:40:55,560
Speaker 2: don't know if he was there or not there. He's

1005
00:40:55,560 --> 00:40:57,360
Speaker 2: not here to take to school, he's not there for

1006
00:40:57,440 --> 00:40:59,239
Speaker 2: that time where I just need a break and just say,

1007
00:40:59,239 --> 00:41:01,399
Speaker 2: you know what I mean, let me go walk around

1008
00:41:01,400 --> 00:41:02,160
Speaker 2: the block one time.

1009
00:41:02,320 --> 00:41:04,399
Speaker 1: Do you ever resent that? And if you did, how

1010
00:41:04,400 --> 00:41:05,200
Speaker 1: did y'all get over it?

1011
00:41:06,760 --> 00:41:06,880
Speaker 4: Uh?

1012
00:41:06,920 --> 00:41:07,960
Speaker 3: It's a work in progress.

1013
00:41:08,040 --> 00:41:10,759
Speaker 6: I think that, you know, early on, of course, there

1014
00:41:10,840 --> 00:41:11,920
Speaker 6: was more resentfulness.

1015
00:41:12,040 --> 00:41:13,439
Speaker 3: I think there's acceptance too.

1016
00:41:13,640 --> 00:41:16,160
Speaker 6: You just have to kind of accept the person you

1017
00:41:16,239 --> 00:41:19,120
Speaker 6: chose and this is this is it, you know, and

1018
00:41:19,120 --> 00:41:22,520
Speaker 6: and then from there build the build the tribe.

1019
00:41:22,680 --> 00:41:24,040
Speaker 3: And that's really what I've done.

1020
00:41:24,080 --> 00:41:27,279
Speaker 6: I have an incredible support system that will show up

1021
00:41:27,480 --> 00:41:30,160
Speaker 6: when he can't, you know. And granted both of us

1022
00:41:30,200 --> 00:41:33,120
Speaker 6: are very busy careers. He's out of the country, out

1023
00:41:33,120 --> 00:41:37,759
Speaker 6: of town a lot, and so ninety eight percent of

1024
00:41:37,800 --> 00:41:40,520
Speaker 6: everything has fallen into my hands. So I would be

1025
00:41:40,600 --> 00:41:43,560
Speaker 6: lying to say there's there's no resentment like or there

1026
00:41:43,600 --> 00:41:46,359
Speaker 6: hasn't been resentment, But.

1027
00:41:46,320 --> 00:41:50,200
Speaker 3: I also just I also like have have to humanize

1028
00:41:50,280 --> 00:41:50,799
Speaker 3: him as well.

1029
00:41:50,800 --> 00:41:53,759
Speaker 6: If I'm going to give grace to the women that

1030
00:41:53,800 --> 00:41:56,719
Speaker 6: I that I serve and give grace to myself. Then

1031
00:41:56,719 --> 00:41:59,560
Speaker 6: I also have to understand where he's at, what happened, like,

1032
00:41:59,640 --> 00:42:03,080
Speaker 6: where what wasn't what needs were not meant in your childhood?

1033
00:42:03,120 --> 00:42:05,920
Speaker 6: What things are you battling with that you're not confronting

1034
00:42:05,960 --> 00:42:09,640
Speaker 6: and avoiding, you know. And so that doesn't always come

1035
00:42:09,680 --> 00:42:12,520
Speaker 6: because sometimes I want to curse him out, but then

1036
00:42:12,560 --> 00:42:14,759
Speaker 6: I have to kind of bring it back and say, Okay, well,

1037
00:42:15,120 --> 00:42:17,080
Speaker 6: this work doesn't just apply to this.

1038
00:42:17,680 --> 00:42:19,800
Speaker 3: I have to be able to apply it to both.

1039
00:42:19,960 --> 00:42:21,520
Speaker 3: And it does my daughter.

1040
00:42:21,880 --> 00:42:25,680
Speaker 6: No, it doesn't do my daughter any any benefit by

1041
00:42:25,880 --> 00:42:28,920
Speaker 6: you know, me, you know, bad talking him, especially in

1042
00:42:28,960 --> 00:42:29,439
Speaker 6: front of her.

1043
00:42:30,560 --> 00:42:33,560
Speaker 3: I try my best to for her to feel like

1044
00:42:33,840 --> 00:42:36,200
Speaker 3: we are still the family. You know. We pray, we

1045
00:42:36,239 --> 00:42:37,240
Speaker 3: pray for her dad.

1046
00:42:37,920 --> 00:42:39,960
Speaker 6: We talk about her dad like I ask it, I

1047
00:42:40,000 --> 00:42:42,120
Speaker 6: ask even like you know, he had another child and

1048
00:42:42,200 --> 00:42:43,919
Speaker 6: the reason we broke up was because he got another

1049
00:42:43,960 --> 00:42:47,840
Speaker 6: woman pregnant. And you know, I never in a million

1050
00:42:47,960 --> 00:42:50,279
Speaker 6: years thought that I would be able to be like

1051
00:42:50,440 --> 00:42:52,560
Speaker 6: in the presence of that child ever. And I know

1052
00:42:52,600 --> 00:42:55,040
Speaker 6: there's a lot of women listening that have maybe experienced

1053
00:42:55,040 --> 00:42:56,319
Speaker 6: this or maybe going through this.

1054
00:42:56,400 --> 00:42:58,480
Speaker 3: Hard drop because I know what a feeling. Yeah, and

1055
00:42:58,520 --> 00:43:01,480
Speaker 3: it was I literally I just there was no way.

1056
00:43:01,520 --> 00:43:03,799
Speaker 6: I remember the first time he brought his son into

1057
00:43:03,840 --> 00:43:05,719
Speaker 6: my house like unannounced, and I was.

1058
00:43:05,680 --> 00:43:08,719
Speaker 3: Like, oh, did you cry? How was the did you cry?

1059
00:43:08,880 --> 00:43:08,960
Speaker 8: Like?

1060
00:43:08,960 --> 00:43:10,879
Speaker 6: What would your I didn't even know how to cry.

1061
00:43:10,920 --> 00:43:15,280
Speaker 6: I was frozen, you know, like I.

1062
00:43:15,680 --> 00:43:18,000
Speaker 3: You don't want to react to the baby.

1063
00:43:18,400 --> 00:43:21,640
Speaker 6: Yeah, and like as as women, like we are territorial

1064
00:43:21,680 --> 00:43:23,880
Speaker 6: around this role of mother and like the space that

1065
00:43:23,920 --> 00:43:26,120
Speaker 6: we share with this person, like this is what we

1066
00:43:26,239 --> 00:43:28,560
Speaker 6: decided to do and this is an interruption and but

1067
00:43:28,880 --> 00:43:30,879
Speaker 6: you know, but but now, like I have so much

1068
00:43:30,920 --> 00:43:32,480
Speaker 6: love for that child. You know, I wouldn't be a

1069
00:43:32,480 --> 00:43:34,600
Speaker 6: good mom who makes bad choices without that child. Like

1070
00:43:34,640 --> 00:43:38,359
Speaker 6: thank you, baby mama for you know, breaking the family up,

1071
00:43:38,440 --> 00:43:43,440
Speaker 6: because because no, truly, because I didn't know myself then

1072
00:43:43,520 --> 00:43:46,400
Speaker 6: I was really like living for him. And and so

1073
00:43:46,800 --> 00:43:49,480
Speaker 6: I think that like to answer your question is just

1074
00:43:49,480 --> 00:43:52,840
Speaker 6: like about answer your question. It's just about like allowing

1075
00:43:52,920 --> 00:43:56,759
Speaker 6: grace and knowing that yes, there are times when I

1076
00:43:56,760 --> 00:43:59,200
Speaker 6: want to curse that man out, but also I love

1077
00:43:59,280 --> 00:44:00,720
Speaker 6: him because he can be my daughter.

1078
00:44:01,320 --> 00:44:03,920
Speaker 4: You know what if the other child was a daughter

1079
00:44:04,120 --> 00:44:09,960
Speaker 4: who looked just like the woman that he had Jesus the.

1080
00:44:08,320 --> 00:44:11,040
Speaker 3: Other well, it's a son and no, but.

1081
00:44:11,000 --> 00:44:12,719
Speaker 4: What if it was a daughter who looked just like

1082
00:44:12,760 --> 00:44:14,560
Speaker 4: the woman who he had another baby with.

1083
00:44:14,719 --> 00:44:16,160
Speaker 3: I don't think that would have I don't.

1084
00:44:16,239 --> 00:44:18,399
Speaker 6: I mean, it's probably would. I mean again, like we've

1085
00:44:18,440 --> 00:44:21,719
Speaker 6: probably been jarring at first, but you know, like I

1086
00:44:21,760 --> 00:44:23,920
Speaker 6: think that I would have accepted that as well. All

1087
00:44:23,960 --> 00:44:27,120
Speaker 6: of Freddy's kids just look just like him, you know.

1088
00:44:27,360 --> 00:44:29,719
Speaker 2: And you have to have those conversations with the other mothers, like, hey,

1089
00:44:29,800 --> 00:44:32,360
Speaker 2: let's even though this is not the situation, but we

1090
00:44:32,400 --> 00:44:34,440
Speaker 2: all have kids, let them be siblist together.

1091
00:44:34,760 --> 00:44:40,040
Speaker 3: I only have a rapport with one. And you know

1092
00:44:40,800 --> 00:44:41,960
Speaker 3: it's not because I don't want to.

1093
00:44:42,040 --> 00:44:46,759
Speaker 6: It's like I could reach out, I guess, but that

1094
00:44:46,880 --> 00:44:48,839
Speaker 6: just hasn't been my ministry yet.

1095
00:44:50,440 --> 00:44:52,320
Speaker 3: But there's no there's no hate, there's.

1096
00:44:52,120 --> 00:44:55,239
Speaker 6: No resentment, Like we're all moms trying to do the

1097
00:44:55,239 --> 00:44:57,360
Speaker 6: best we can for our kids. And you know, she

1098
00:44:57,440 --> 00:45:00,279
Speaker 6: made her choices and all of them have made their

1099
00:45:00,360 --> 00:45:02,799
Speaker 6: choices because you know, my my baby dad eve been

1100
00:45:02,800 --> 00:45:06,520
Speaker 6: busy with creating life since since our first one.

1101
00:45:08,960 --> 00:45:12,080
Speaker 2: But yeah, so and Jamilli, you resentment if there was

1102
00:45:12,120 --> 00:45:14,080
Speaker 2: any or no I know.

1103
00:45:15,040 --> 00:45:18,120
Speaker 7: Like she said, acceptance. You know I knew who I

1104
00:45:18,120 --> 00:45:20,680
Speaker 7: had a baby with. I'm accepting of that. And then honestly,

1105
00:45:20,760 --> 00:45:23,399
Speaker 7: there's a level of that just sounds so crazy.

1106
00:45:23,400 --> 00:45:24,680
Speaker 1: I know how I had the baby with. So it

1107
00:45:24,719 --> 00:45:25,239
Speaker 1: is what it is.

1108
00:45:25,320 --> 00:45:27,200
Speaker 3: I mean it is. I know you got to get

1109
00:45:27,200 --> 00:45:29,080
Speaker 3: to that point, do you got RAI, but.

1110
00:45:29,080 --> 00:45:29,800
Speaker 1: You expect different.

1111
00:45:30,280 --> 00:45:31,840
Speaker 2: If you knew that that was gonna be the situation

1112
00:45:31,880 --> 00:45:32,719
Speaker 2: would but it's a.

1113
00:45:32,840 --> 00:45:34,319
Speaker 3: Different got to raise the kid.

1114
00:45:34,480 --> 00:45:36,319
Speaker 5: If your aunt had a penis should be your uncle.

1115
00:45:38,080 --> 00:45:41,799
Speaker 7: But there's a there's a level of pride.

1116
00:45:41,880 --> 00:45:43,680
Speaker 3: I had to think about that. I think he's saying

1117
00:45:44,000 --> 00:45:44,839
Speaker 3: it is what it is.

1118
00:45:45,520 --> 00:45:48,279
Speaker 8: I would say, talk about that level of pride in

1119
00:45:48,360 --> 00:45:50,600
Speaker 8: that because the resentment can that can cause some woman

1120
00:45:50,680 --> 00:45:52,000
Speaker 8: to stay and y'all chose to step away.

1121
00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:54,359
Speaker 7: Well, yeah, yeah, you could be resentful and you can

1122
00:45:54,440 --> 00:45:57,520
Speaker 7: let that ship like fester, or you could walk away

1123
00:45:57,520 --> 00:45:59,320
Speaker 7: and move on and accept the person you had a

1124
00:45:59,360 --> 00:46:01,439
Speaker 7: baby with. And even in this chapter of my life,

1125
00:46:01,480 --> 00:46:03,440
Speaker 7: I'm like, you know, do what you can. There's a

1126
00:46:03,480 --> 00:46:05,840
Speaker 7: lot of drop offs at the grandma's house, which you know,

1127
00:46:06,040 --> 00:46:08,600
Speaker 7: if my child is safe and fed, I'm happy y're around.

1128
00:46:09,080 --> 00:46:12,560
Speaker 7: But I also find joy and like I am the

1129
00:46:12,600 --> 00:46:13,640
Speaker 7: primary provider.

1130
00:46:13,680 --> 00:46:14,719
Speaker 3: Hey, you got to take the kid.

1131
00:46:14,719 --> 00:46:17,719
Speaker 7: I'm going to the breakfast club to my traveling you know,

1132
00:46:17,880 --> 00:46:20,840
Speaker 7: like I you know, I have won so much in this,

1133
00:46:20,960 --> 00:46:23,520
Speaker 7: Like I have evolved so much in this this relationship

1134
00:46:23,560 --> 00:46:25,640
Speaker 7: with my friend and this brand and this business. Like

1135
00:46:25,680 --> 00:46:27,960
Speaker 7: I have really discovered something that I wouldn't have been

1136
00:46:28,000 --> 00:46:30,080
Speaker 7: able to discover had I stayed in that relationship.

1137
00:46:30,239 --> 00:46:30,960
Speaker 3: So I'm grateful.

1138
00:46:31,000 --> 00:46:33,640
Speaker 7: I'm grateful for the like the awareness of myself be

1139
00:46:33,640 --> 00:46:36,080
Speaker 7: like this ain't gonna work. I can't see this forever.

1140
00:46:36,160 --> 00:46:39,000
Speaker 7: I'm out and just honoring that and accepting him for

1141
00:46:39,040 --> 00:46:40,960
Speaker 7: who he is and accepting that is not something that

1142
00:46:41,000 --> 00:46:44,879
Speaker 7: I can't accept in my life in the romantic partnership and.

1143
00:46:44,960 --> 00:46:46,080
Speaker 3: Just letting it be.

1144
00:46:46,080 --> 00:46:48,840
Speaker 7: Because you know, karma's a bitch, and you have to

1145
00:46:48,840 --> 00:46:50,640
Speaker 7: deal with that with your child when she gets of age.

1146
00:46:50,680 --> 00:46:53,239
Speaker 7: Because we have kids who are very well aware, very intelligent.

1147
00:46:53,560 --> 00:46:57,560
Speaker 7: We never disrespect our child's intelligence. So we're honest, you know,

1148
00:46:57,600 --> 00:47:00,160
Speaker 7: age appropriate manner, and so I give you, know know,

1149
00:47:00,239 --> 00:47:01,719
Speaker 7: I give you the love, and I know that you

1150
00:47:01,760 --> 00:47:03,839
Speaker 7: are going to have to deal with that relationships as

1151
00:47:03,840 --> 00:47:05,960
Speaker 7: she gets older and I you know, did luck.

1152
00:47:05,880 --> 00:47:08,240
Speaker 8: Did the baby daddy's ever come to you and apologize

1153
00:47:08,280 --> 00:47:11,560
Speaker 8: for what? And he's kind of referencing like that flack

1154
00:47:11,640 --> 00:47:13,560
Speaker 8: of like dang, I'm sorry, or put you.

1155
00:47:13,560 --> 00:47:16,320
Speaker 3: Through or denial denial, denial.

1156
00:47:16,640 --> 00:47:19,520
Speaker 6: If you ask them, they probably would would say they have.

1157
00:47:19,920 --> 00:47:23,200
Speaker 6: But I mean, you know, most dads like I'm doing great,

1158
00:47:24,120 --> 00:47:26,000
Speaker 6: Like you see her in two weeks. Our baby's daddy's

1159
00:47:26,000 --> 00:47:28,120
Speaker 6: trying to link up a few times once and we

1160
00:47:28,120 --> 00:47:29,279
Speaker 6: were like, what the hell are they?

1161
00:47:29,239 --> 00:47:31,040
Speaker 3: They're talking about gonna start podcast.

1162
00:47:34,440 --> 00:47:41,839
Speaker 4: Network and be a confident. I do have one last question.

1163
00:47:42,360 --> 00:47:43,600
Speaker 4: How did you break up with that couple?

1164
00:47:43,680 --> 00:47:46,640
Speaker 5: That doctor? How did you like doctor ar?

1165
00:47:48,880 --> 00:47:52,840
Speaker 6: You know, it became a thing because I really I

1166
00:47:53,200 --> 00:47:55,560
Speaker 6: realized I knew this begin to begin with.

1167
00:47:56,040 --> 00:47:59,920
Speaker 3: I don't really I'm not into white men. I'm just not, you.

1168
00:47:59,880 --> 00:48:02,839
Speaker 6: Know, I really I was trying because they were cool

1169
00:48:03,000 --> 00:48:05,920
Speaker 6: and he was handsome, but I realized that over time

1170
00:48:06,239 --> 00:48:09,360
Speaker 6: it just wasn't like I was more into his wife.

1171
00:48:09,000 --> 00:48:11,760
Speaker 3: Than I was to him. And I respect it too, because.

1172
00:48:11,520 --> 00:48:13,200
Speaker 1: I told you was trying to break up that happy well.

1173
00:48:13,239 --> 00:48:14,799
Speaker 6: No, I was not trying to break up the happy home.

1174
00:48:14,800 --> 00:48:16,560
Speaker 6: But she did ask me like Erica, like where are

1175
00:48:16,560 --> 00:48:18,320
Speaker 6: you at? Like you haven't been responding to the calls?

1176
00:48:18,360 --> 00:48:19,880
Speaker 3: Da da da da. And I was like, honestly, like

1177
00:48:19,920 --> 00:48:20,840
Speaker 3: I'm more attracted to you.

1178
00:48:20,880 --> 00:48:23,479
Speaker 6: And she was like okay, thanks, and she cut it off,

1179
00:48:23,680 --> 00:48:26,879
Speaker 6: and I was like respect, like respect, and and that's

1180
00:48:26,880 --> 00:48:28,480
Speaker 6: why I really respected their dynamic.

1181
00:48:28,520 --> 00:48:29,200
Speaker 3: They showed me.

1182
00:48:29,960 --> 00:48:32,200
Speaker 6: I learned a lot from that relationship. I learned how

1183
00:48:32,239 --> 00:48:35,279
Speaker 6: much they loved, like how expansive their love was for

1184
00:48:35,360 --> 00:48:37,719
Speaker 6: one another. I felt honored to be able to come

1185
00:48:37,760 --> 00:48:42,160
Speaker 6: into their relationship and and spend time with them and

1186
00:48:42,160 --> 00:48:45,719
Speaker 6: then also peace out. But yeah, it was more so

1187
00:48:45,840 --> 00:48:49,080
Speaker 6: it was just like and also like I wanted to eve.

1188
00:48:49,400 --> 00:48:50,840
Speaker 6: It was just it was kind of like a f

1189
00:48:51,600 --> 00:48:53,200
Speaker 6: I got what I needed out of it, and then

1190
00:48:53,239 --> 00:48:55,000
Speaker 6: I was done with it, you know. But I but

1191
00:48:55,080 --> 00:48:57,759
Speaker 6: I have a lot of love for them, and they're

1192
00:48:57,760 --> 00:48:58,200
Speaker 6: a great couple.

1193
00:48:58,280 --> 00:48:59,520
Speaker 3: They're still together to this day.

1194
00:49:00,320 --> 00:49:01,760
Speaker 1: But we appreciate you all for joining.

1195
00:49:01,800 --> 00:49:05,080
Speaker 2: Make sure you describe Good Mom, Bad Choices podcast on

1196
00:49:05,120 --> 00:49:07,759
Speaker 2: the Black Effect Network, Jamila mapping every Wednesday.

1197
00:49:08,080 --> 00:49:09,680
Speaker 5: Every Wednesday, they drop, so check them out.

1198
00:49:09,760 --> 00:49:12,239
Speaker 2: That's right, it's the breakfast Club, Good Morning, wake that

1199
00:49:12,360 --> 00:49:13,960
Speaker 2: ass up in the morning.

1200
00:49:14,040 --> 00:49:15,120
Speaker 5: The Breakfast Club,