WEBVTT - RITA WILSON: "Throw Me A Party" 0:00:14.400 --> 0:00:19.479 Here we are together again. My friend, I got a 0:00:19.600 --> 0:00:22.759 treat for you. Oh my word, do I have a 0:00:22.800 --> 0:00:25.680 treat for you. My special guest is someone you'll know, 0:00:26.040 --> 0:00:29.640 even if you don't know that you know her. 0:00:30.280 --> 0:00:31.240 She's an actress. 0:00:31.280 --> 0:00:34.360 She first appeared in an episode of The Brady Bunch 0:00:34.840 --> 0:00:38.639 and went on to have roles on mash Three's Company, 0:00:39.280 --> 0:00:44.520 Boozom Buddies, and Frasier. She's been in films like Sleepless 0:00:44.520 --> 0:00:49.160 in Seattle, The Bonfire of the Vanities, Jingle All the Way, 0:00:49.760 --> 0:00:54.800 The Story of Us, and one of my favorites, It's Complicated. 0:00:55.480 --> 0:00:59.240 She produced My Big Fat Greek Wedding and It's sequel. 0:01:00.200 --> 0:01:06.720 She's also a beautiful, beautiful singer and a songwriter and 0:01:06.800 --> 0:01:10.960 a beautiful human being. Any idea what I'm talking about? 0:01:11.680 --> 0:01:18.520 Here's one more hint. Sometimes she's known as missus Tom Hanks. Actually, 0:01:19.280 --> 0:01:22.120 between you and I, I think he should be known 0:01:22.160 --> 0:01:24.240 as mister Rita Wilson. 0:01:25.760 --> 0:01:26.520 I'm not kidding. 0:01:26.959 --> 0:01:33.600 This incredibly talented, kind, inspiring hot ticket. She has released 0:01:33.640 --> 0:01:37.000 some brand new music and her single Throw Me a Party. 0:01:37.800 --> 0:01:40.880 It'll wreck you, It really will. I'm not kidding. It 0:01:40.920 --> 0:01:43.800 is so beautiful, it is so powerful. 0:01:44.200 --> 0:01:46.600 You will fall in love with the song and it's 0:01:46.720 --> 0:01:51.120 kind of become my anthem. Rita Wilson joins me today, and, 0:01:51.200 --> 0:01:52.880 oh my word, do we have a lot to catch 0:01:52.960 --> 0:01:55.960 up on. You're gonna discover her to be so humble, 0:01:56.040 --> 0:01:59.080 so danged real. She is as down to earth as 0:01:59.120 --> 0:02:03.200 can be, and her advice is spot on. Our podcast 0:02:03.280 --> 0:02:06.760 sponsor is the Home Depot. You hear me talking about 0:02:06.760 --> 0:02:11.480 the Home Depot a lot because I go there a lot. 0:02:12.480 --> 0:02:16.679 Years ago, my business partner heard me talking one night 0:02:16.760 --> 0:02:19.560 about my experience at the Home Depot, and so we 0:02:19.680 --> 0:02:23.040 decided to partner with them because I love them so much. 0:02:23.400 --> 0:02:26.359 I have an old house. My house was built in 0:02:26.520 --> 0:02:30.480 nineteen oh seven, so I'm constantly having to update it, 0:02:30.639 --> 0:02:35.280 so I'm constantly going to the Home Depot for everything. 0:02:35.800 --> 0:02:38.280 When the plumbing needed to be updated, I went to 0:02:38.320 --> 0:02:41.119 the Home Depot. When the wiring had to be redone, 0:02:41.280 --> 0:02:44.000 the contractor and I went together to the Home Depot 0:02:44.400 --> 0:02:48.440 when I needed updated fixtures. Again, we went to the 0:02:48.480 --> 0:02:54.040 Home Depot for everything from paint to stain to door knobs. 0:02:54.080 --> 0:02:56.960 Whatever you need, you will find. 0:02:56.720 --> 0:02:59.720 It for your home projects or your garden projects at 0:02:59.760 --> 0:03:03.720 the Home Depot. The home depot, more saving, more doing, 0:03:04.840 --> 0:03:08.400 Rita Wilson, I am so glad that you are here 0:03:08.760 --> 0:03:09.519 with us. 0:03:10.120 --> 0:03:11.240 This is fantastic. 0:03:11.440 --> 0:03:18.560 Rita Wilson has done so many things in life, producing acting, 0:03:19.360 --> 0:03:23.760 you're gorgeous and singing, and then you're you know, married 0:03:23.800 --> 0:03:26.960 to somebody who's done a few things. I got to know, 0:03:27.080 --> 0:03:29.160 did you guys meet back in the day when he 0:03:29.360 --> 0:03:31.560 was in that TV show that you were on? 0:03:32.480 --> 0:03:35.400 He did a show called Bosom Buddies and we met 0:03:35.440 --> 0:03:40.080 on that And how old were you I can't remember, 0:03:40.240 --> 0:03:45.360 like early to mid twenties. And then about a couple 0:03:45.400 --> 0:03:48.440 of years later I was cast in a movie opposite 0:03:48.480 --> 0:03:52.000 him and called Volunteers, which no one ever talks about 0:03:52.040 --> 0:03:59.200 in the canon of Hank's films. But then we met, 0:03:59.240 --> 0:04:01.720 and then it wasn't so after that they that we 0:04:01.760 --> 0:04:06.480 really started dating, and that now we've been married thirty 0:04:06.480 --> 0:04:08.080 one years. 0:04:08.120 --> 0:04:08.680 Amazing. 0:04:08.920 --> 0:04:09.240 I know. 0:04:09.960 --> 0:04:11.840 I heard him say one time I was watching an 0:04:11.920 --> 0:04:17.640 interview and he said, my wife is the best thing 0:04:17.720 --> 0:04:18.839 that ever happened to me. 0:04:22.560 --> 0:04:27.800 That's so nice. Well, I think, look, I look at 0:04:28.040 --> 0:04:31.279 being married thirty one years and I think that's kind 0:04:31.320 --> 0:04:33.679 of fantastic. But then I also look at my parents 0:04:33.720 --> 0:04:36.679 who were married almost sixty years before my dad passed away, 0:04:37.080 --> 0:04:40.080 and I think we're just halfway there, do you know 0:04:40.160 --> 0:04:43.680 what I mean? It's kind of extraordinary when you think 0:04:43.720 --> 0:04:47.520 about it, that you can spend a life with someone. 0:04:47.560 --> 0:04:50.279 But I can't imagine spending my life with anyone other 0:04:50.360 --> 0:04:54.320 than my husband. I mean, it's just you know, you 0:04:54.440 --> 0:04:58.080 become it overtakes something, and it doesn't. It's not just 0:04:58.600 --> 0:05:00.960 a marriage or husband anymore. It's a life and a 0:05:01.080 --> 0:05:06.000 history and your family. It's everything. So you know it's 0:05:06.120 --> 0:05:07.440 very precious. 0:05:07.640 --> 0:05:10.640 Well, I applaud you. I I kind of went the 0:05:10.680 --> 0:05:17.320 opposite endo the spectrum. No, if this one didn't work, Nope, 0:05:17.320 --> 0:05:18.400 that one didn't work. 0:05:18.680 --> 0:05:20.919 Well, it's better than It's better to get out of 0:05:20.920 --> 0:05:23.320 something that's not working than to stay in something that 0:05:23.680 --> 0:05:25.919 is not good for you. 0:05:25.920 --> 0:05:30.480 You know, it is so thirty one years with the 0:05:30.560 --> 0:05:36.040 love of your life. And tell me the silliest, funniest 0:05:36.080 --> 0:05:39.640 thing that nobody would ever believe in a million years 0:05:39.920 --> 0:05:43.640 that you have done, or that you two have done together, 0:05:44.040 --> 0:05:46.719 that people would just like their job. Like when people 0:05:46.720 --> 0:05:49.120 find out I have pet Emo's, they're like, what. 0:05:50.640 --> 0:05:56.880 You have? What? Let me think? I think camping. I 0:05:56.920 --> 0:05:59.440 don't think people would realize that we like to camp. 0:06:00.480 --> 0:06:02.560 It's got to be hard, though, because when you go 0:06:02.640 --> 0:06:06.040 to a campground, is everybody like, oh my god, Rita 0:06:06.080 --> 0:06:08.400 Wilson and Tom Hanks are in the next tent over. 0:06:09.080 --> 0:06:13.800 No, because people tend to be very respectful because they 0:06:13.800 --> 0:06:16.120 figure if you're there, you're there for the same reasons 0:06:16.279 --> 0:06:19.640 they're there, and they just want to enjoy the surroundings 0:06:19.680 --> 0:06:22.800 and be beautiful, you know, have it, be beautiful, enjoy that, 0:06:24.640 --> 0:06:29.039 and you know, it's kind of amazing how cool people are. 0:06:29.960 --> 0:06:34.159 So I think that's probably the thing that people don't 0:06:35.240 --> 0:06:36.800 really know about us. 0:06:38.200 --> 0:06:40.400 That is something I never would have guessed. 0:06:40.880 --> 0:06:42.240 Right, It's kind of funny. 0:06:43.240 --> 0:06:44.200 I loved camping. 0:06:44.480 --> 0:06:49.040 A couple of years ago, Hobby said, listen, I've got 0:06:49.240 --> 0:06:53.479 a twenty eight year old motorhome in storage. I'm going 0:06:53.560 --> 0:06:55.600 to fix it up and next year we're going to 0:06:55.680 --> 0:06:56.839 go on road trip. 0:06:57.400 --> 0:06:58.320 Oh how fun. 0:06:58.839 --> 0:07:02.760 And so we took nineteen kids. 0:07:03.120 --> 0:07:07.960 I drove my thirteen passenger van, he drove a twenty 0:07:08.040 --> 0:07:12.080 nine year old motor home and we went to Yellowstone. 0:07:12.160 --> 0:07:14.320 Oh my goodness. 0:07:13.760 --> 0:07:16.120 And we were the clampets camping along the way. 0:07:16.440 --> 0:07:18.000 That is so much fun. 0:07:18.240 --> 0:07:20.360 It was so much fun. 0:07:20.720 --> 0:07:24.000 Incredible. So, wait, did you have all of your camp 0:07:24.080 --> 0:07:28.120 gear sort of in a trailer behind the well? 0:07:28.160 --> 0:07:31.360 The motorhome has storage underneath. So we had three tents, 0:07:31.400 --> 0:07:33.280 one for the girls, one for the boys, and one 0:07:33.320 --> 0:07:35.160 for my godson who was at the time an adult 0:07:35.640 --> 0:07:38.840 and needed his own private space. And so we fell 0:07:38.880 --> 0:07:40.800 in love with it, and so Paul and I bought 0:07:40.920 --> 0:07:43.920 a more modern motorhome. It's only like eighteen years old 0:07:43.960 --> 0:07:48.600 because the downs fall of that was the air condition 0:07:48.840 --> 0:07:53.160 quit working. Oh and you really need ac and when 0:07:53.160 --> 0:07:54.320 you're in Yellowstone, so. 0:07:54.480 --> 0:07:55.120 It's the summer. 0:07:55.240 --> 0:07:58.960 Yeah, yeah, but now every summer we take at least 0:07:59.000 --> 0:08:00.000 one or two road trips. 0:08:00.080 --> 0:08:01.680 So with the kids and the grandkids. 0:08:02.040 --> 0:08:04.960 Uh, you know what, that's what everybody remembers. Oh my god, 0:08:05.120 --> 0:08:08.520 remember as a kid, my dad he was a bartender. 0:08:08.600 --> 0:08:11.640 My mom was a housewife, but she you know, cooked 0:08:11.680 --> 0:08:15.320 and made our clothes. But once a year we would 0:08:15.400 --> 0:08:20.320 go to and don't ask me why, Las Vegas for 0:08:21.440 --> 0:08:24.520 our summer vacation. So you imagined, probably we went because 0:08:24.520 --> 0:08:27.200 it was less expensive in the summer. That's probably what happened. 0:08:27.240 --> 0:08:29.160 Yeah, because nobody in the right mind wants to go 0:08:29.160 --> 0:08:30.840 to Vegas in the summer, and. 0:08:30.760 --> 0:08:33.680 They had those all you can eat buffets, right oh. 0:08:33.640 --> 0:08:38.760 For ninety nine cents, And so my dad would We 0:08:38.840 --> 0:08:42.679 had a black plymouth belvetere that we called the Batmobile. 0:08:42.720 --> 0:08:45.880 It was a convertible and he would make beds, so 0:08:46.120 --> 0:08:49.360 one like in the well where the convertible top would 0:08:49.360 --> 0:08:52.679 be stored if the top was down, then one on 0:08:52.760 --> 0:08:55.600 the back seat, and then he would fill up the 0:08:55.640 --> 0:08:59.080 footwells with you know, blankets and make them sort of 0:08:59.240 --> 0:09:02.040 level so we could all three have a place to 0:09:02.080 --> 0:09:04.920 sleep and he would get us up at like three 0:09:05.000 --> 0:09:08.040 or four in the morning. We loved it, and we 0:09:08.080 --> 0:09:11.560 would take off at night why to get through the 0:09:11.600 --> 0:09:16.440 desert before it got really hot. And I remember those 0:09:16.559 --> 0:09:21.200 trips like, you know, they were magical. You know, you're 0:09:21.240 --> 0:09:25.240 with your family, You're playing music AM radio at the time, 0:09:25.280 --> 0:09:28.600 which was playing everything you could possibly want to listen to, like, 0:09:29.080 --> 0:09:32.240 you know, the Supremes, the Beatles, the Beach Boys, Johnny Cash, 0:09:32.360 --> 0:09:37.040 Dolly Parton, Dave Mason, Frank Sinatra. It was all over 0:09:37.080 --> 0:09:40.240 the map. And I think that's in some ways how 0:09:40.280 --> 0:09:43.920 I developed my taste in music. And you know, we 0:09:43.960 --> 0:09:47.040 would be driving through the desert and the sun coming 0:09:47.120 --> 0:09:51.480 up was so beautiful. And you know, even though my 0:09:51.760 --> 0:09:54.560 dad didn't make a lot of money, we still we 0:09:54.600 --> 0:09:56.679 didn't know. We just thought, this is a great vacation. 0:09:56.760 --> 0:09:58.800 Then we got to Vegas. We stayed in the hotel 0:09:58.800 --> 0:10:00.480 with a pool, a hell. 0:10:00.320 --> 0:10:01.680 With a pool, a motel. 0:10:02.040 --> 0:10:05.120 So our family only went We went camping every summer 0:10:05.240 --> 0:10:08.319 my whole life. That was our summer vacation. We would 0:10:08.320 --> 0:10:11.200 go with the same My parents had two couples, three 0:10:11.200 --> 0:10:13.680 couples that they were best friends with, and they all 0:10:13.679 --> 0:10:14.400 played guitar. 0:10:14.559 --> 0:10:15.880 They all were musicians. 0:10:16.080 --> 0:10:19.760 Wow, And we would go camping and we would uh, 0:10:19.800 --> 0:10:22.240 they would put the kids to bed, you know, eight nine, 0:10:22.280 --> 0:10:24.959 ten o'clock, and then the parents would sit around the 0:10:25.000 --> 0:10:31.240 campfire singing. Oh and honest to goodness, those are my 0:10:31.760 --> 0:10:34.360 favorite memories of my whole life. 0:10:34.559 --> 0:10:38.839 It does it not surprise you that it's just magical 0:10:39.360 --> 0:10:44.480 become a person who basically listens and plays this amazing music. 0:10:44.960 --> 0:10:47.959 I mean, I think music is more powerful in our 0:10:48.000 --> 0:10:51.560 lives than we acknowledge or give credit to. You know, 0:10:51.800 --> 0:10:54.679 even if it's just something that's playing in the background 0:10:54.760 --> 0:10:58.160 when you're you know, washing the Dishes or something. It's 0:10:58.280 --> 0:11:01.599 like powerful and evocative. 0:11:02.320 --> 0:11:04.720 We're going to take a break with Rita Wilson right now, 0:11:05.520 --> 0:11:09.559 stretch our legs, talk about our sponsor, and then get 0:11:09.640 --> 0:11:13.440 right back into it because I am so loving getting 0:11:13.480 --> 0:11:18.440 to know this incredibly talented sweet lady. Now back to 0:11:18.520 --> 0:11:23.160 our conversation with my new bestie. Oh my gosh, am 0:11:23.280 --> 0:11:25.840 I enjoying getting to know Rita Wilson. 0:11:26.440 --> 0:11:27.360 So when did you know? 0:11:27.800 --> 0:11:30.720 When did you realize how old were you that God 0:11:30.760 --> 0:11:33.280 had gifted you Rita? It was such a beautiful voice. 0:11:36.480 --> 0:11:38.760 Well, first of all, thank you. That's a huge compliment. 0:11:38.880 --> 0:11:43.920 And I would say that I knew that I wanted 0:11:43.920 --> 0:11:47.480 to sing when I was a kid, and I loved 0:11:47.720 --> 0:11:50.640 songs that had stories in them that sort of took 0:11:50.679 --> 0:11:55.480 me away where some people love books, which I also enjoyed. 0:11:56.280 --> 0:12:00.520 I was really attracted to the stories and songs. Some 0:12:00.600 --> 0:12:03.240 of those songs were things like Owed to Billy Joe 0:12:03.320 --> 0:12:07.760 by Bobby Gentry or She's Leaving Home by the Beatles 0:12:07.760 --> 0:12:10.439 with another song that it was like, you know, Wednesday 0:12:10.480 --> 0:12:13.320 morning at five o'clock, as the day begins and you 0:12:13.440 --> 0:12:17.720 realize that this girl is leaving home and she hasn't 0:12:17.720 --> 0:12:20.920 told her parents. The parents wake up and they find 0:12:20.960 --> 0:12:23.760 out that their daughter is gone and she's gone to 0:12:23.800 --> 0:12:26.000 meet a man in the motor trade. Does that not 0:12:26.120 --> 0:12:27.679 sound terrifying to you? Right there? 0:12:28.240 --> 0:12:31.559 It's like what every parent's worst drand. 0:12:31.360 --> 0:12:37.080 Every parents worst nightmare, like a complete stranger and he's 0:12:37.120 --> 0:12:41.320 got cars or access to cars. Like, no, this is 0:12:41.360 --> 0:12:47.080 not good. But I, you know, found myself thinking about 0:12:47.120 --> 0:12:49.840 the girl in the story, the parents in the story, 0:12:50.160 --> 0:12:53.040 the guy in the motor trade, and you know, to 0:12:53.160 --> 0:12:58.920 me that anything that can get you thinking like that 0:12:59.320 --> 0:13:03.960 or put you in someone's shoes, to me was sort 0:13:03.960 --> 0:13:06.480 of the beginning of my love of stories in songs. 0:13:07.000 --> 0:13:11.480 And then it really wasn't until I met Kara Dia Guardi, 0:13:11.600 --> 0:13:17.400 the amazing songwriter and producer, that I started writing songs 0:13:17.440 --> 0:13:20.839 because she was the one who suggested that I write 0:13:20.880 --> 0:13:23.200 songs and I said I didn't know how to do that. 0:13:23.440 --> 0:13:26.920 I didn't play an instrument and I didn't read music, 0:13:27.000 --> 0:13:29.560 and she said, it doesn't matter, do you have something 0:13:29.559 --> 0:13:32.840 you want to say? And when she said that, it 0:13:32.960 --> 0:13:36.760 was like the clouds, you know, kind of burst open 0:13:36.920 --> 0:13:40.079 and the ray of sun started shining down and I 0:13:40.400 --> 0:13:43.240 was thought oh my goodness, because I'd had done an 0:13:43.240 --> 0:13:48.520 album of cover songs called AMFM, and I always thought, Wow, 0:13:48.520 --> 0:13:50.480 it would be so great to be a songwriter, and 0:13:50.520 --> 0:13:54.720 if it wasn't for Karadia Gordy, who actually was the 0:13:54.760 --> 0:13:57.840 person who said, I will write your first songs with you, 0:13:58.080 --> 0:14:01.720 which she did, and that opened it up to writing 0:14:01.760 --> 0:14:06.240 with other people. And Christian Bush will be on tour 0:14:06.280 --> 0:14:09.000 with this summer. He was also a person who said 0:14:09.000 --> 0:14:11.280 to me when I had opened for sugar Land with 0:14:11.360 --> 0:14:14.559 that first album, he said, Hey, if you ever decide 0:14:14.600 --> 0:14:16.760 you want to start writing music, you know, let me know. 0:14:17.040 --> 0:14:19.920 And this was before I'd even met Kara, but I 0:14:20.000 --> 0:14:22.400 put that in the back of my mind, thinking it 0:14:22.440 --> 0:14:25.640 was like an impossibility, but I clocked that he said that. 0:14:26.440 --> 0:14:28.480 So after I had written a couple of songs with 0:14:28.600 --> 0:14:33.320 Kara and a great songwriter, Jason Reeves, I called Christian 0:14:33.400 --> 0:14:36.160 and I said, do you remember that thing you said 0:14:36.200 --> 0:14:39.240 about writing And he said, yeah, when do you want 0:14:39.240 --> 0:14:44.040 to do it? He didn't even hesitate, and he ended 0:14:44.120 --> 0:14:46.360 up writing the next few songs with me, and then 0:14:46.400 --> 0:14:48.800 I started going down to Nashville and writing with a 0:14:48.840 --> 0:14:51.000 ton of people in Nashville, and then of course in La. 0:14:51.920 --> 0:14:55.040 So I don't know. I don't know how to answer 0:14:55.120 --> 0:14:58.400 that question. I think the blessing was Kara, and that 0:14:58.600 --> 0:15:03.160 kind of comes full circle too, because we've spoken about 0:15:03.160 --> 0:15:05.320 this before. But you know, I had breast cancer a 0:15:05.320 --> 0:15:10.880 couple of years ago, and when I didn't know I 0:15:10.920 --> 0:15:14.480 had breast cancer, I was initially misdiagnosed and told that 0:15:14.560 --> 0:15:18.560 I didn't have breast cancer. And Kara, who was a 0:15:18.840 --> 0:15:24.160 brack A gene carrier and whose mother died of ovarian cancer, 0:15:24.760 --> 0:15:29.200 had had a prophylactic mastectomy in reconstruction. She's spoken about this, 0:15:29.240 --> 0:15:33.480 so I'm not revealing anything private, and she said, you 0:15:33.560 --> 0:15:37.680 really should go see my doctor in New York, doctor 0:15:37.680 --> 0:15:41.320 Eli Support and talk to her and get a second opinion. 0:15:41.840 --> 0:15:43.080 At the same time, SO. 0:15:43.120 --> 0:15:43.720 Went back up. 0:15:43.880 --> 0:15:46.880 You say you were misdiagnosed, had you discovered a lump 0:15:46.960 --> 0:15:48.480 and they said it wasn't cancerous. 0:15:48.600 --> 0:15:53.920 There was something in a breast MRI that lit up 0:15:54.360 --> 0:15:58.520 and it was an underlying condition that I had called 0:15:58.880 --> 0:16:03.840 leomorphic popular carcinoma in the sea two, which doesn't necessarily 0:16:03.920 --> 0:16:07.480 mean it's cancer, but it means that when you have 0:16:07.800 --> 0:16:14.600 that tissue that's abnormal, it is usually associated with breast cancer, 0:16:14.720 --> 0:16:17.680 and they had done lumpectomies and they didn't find any 0:16:17.720 --> 0:16:20.840 cancer in the pathology. Then I had a girlfriend who 0:16:20.880 --> 0:16:23.880 was a two time breast cancer survivor, and she said, 0:16:24.920 --> 0:16:29.200 you really should get your pathology looked at and have 0:16:29.280 --> 0:16:33.160 a second opinion on that. And all during this time, Delilah, 0:16:33.240 --> 0:16:36.640 I felt like my gut was telling me something was off. 0:16:36.680 --> 0:16:39.560 I didn't feel that like, oh yeah, beee, I don't 0:16:39.560 --> 0:16:44.720 have cancer. There was just too many unknowns. So I thought, Okay, 0:16:44.720 --> 0:16:48.240 it doesn't hurt to get a second opinion on the pathology. 0:16:49.000 --> 0:16:51.200 Doesn't hurt to have some more eyes look at this 0:16:51.680 --> 0:16:55.560 and give me their opinion, people who know what they know, right. 0:16:55.920 --> 0:16:59.400 And in the meantime, Kara and I had been having 0:16:59.440 --> 0:17:02.480 dinner in new and she said, go see doctor Relly Support, 0:17:02.920 --> 0:17:06.320 who I went to see, and doctor Port said, yes, 0:17:07.080 --> 0:17:09.639 you should get a second opinion on your pasthology. I 0:17:09.680 --> 0:17:14.920 don't understand why you keep having lumpectomies. And she mentioned 0:17:15.160 --> 0:17:20.920 the same doctor, doctor Ira Bleiweiss, he's a saint, And 0:17:21.240 --> 0:17:24.720 it was the same doctor that my friend Mary had said. 0:17:25.240 --> 0:17:30.280 So I think all of these things were like angels 0:17:30.320 --> 0:17:35.080 sort of walking me into a very specific direction. And 0:17:35.119 --> 0:17:38.680 then when I got the pathology back, I found out 0:17:38.680 --> 0:17:41.639 that I in fact did have breast cancer. So doctor 0:17:41.680 --> 0:17:45.840 Port did my surgery, and I was in New York 0:17:45.920 --> 0:17:49.160 doing a play with Larry David at the time called 0:17:49.160 --> 0:17:54.040 Fish in the Dark, and it was extraordinary. I did 0:17:54.080 --> 0:17:56.920 the play, I opened the play, I took a month off, 0:17:57.200 --> 0:18:01.000 had my surgery, had my bilab romanstic me, and then 0:18:01.040 --> 0:18:02.720 went back to the play about a month later. 0:18:03.080 --> 0:18:06.639 Holy moly, Yeah, hold on, I'm just gonna have my 0:18:06.720 --> 0:18:10.440 whole body re built here. I'll be right back, well. 0:18:10.560 --> 0:18:13.280 Literally, And looking back on it, I think there was 0:18:13.320 --> 0:18:15.240 a part of it that was like I just wanted 0:18:15.280 --> 0:18:18.640 to get back to normal. But I was so tired. 0:18:18.760 --> 0:18:21.920 You know, you don't realize what that is to your 0:18:22.119 --> 0:18:24.240 what that does to your body, you know, in terms 0:18:24.240 --> 0:18:28.760 of exhaustion. But everybody had said that typical three to 0:18:28.840 --> 0:18:31.879 four weeks is what people take off. But then I 0:18:31.960 --> 0:18:35.800 realized that's probably people who maybe sit at a desk 0:18:36.160 --> 0:18:40.280 or don't have you know, the demands of running up 0:18:40.320 --> 0:18:44.440 and down stairs during a production and costume changes and 0:18:45.160 --> 0:18:49.080 experiencing the energy of an audience, and also having to 0:18:49.520 --> 0:18:52.919 put out so much energy, but in some ways the 0:18:53.040 --> 0:18:57.480 play was what kept me going, and I felt so 0:18:57.600 --> 0:18:59.840 thankful to have it and have it to go back to. 0:19:00.119 --> 0:19:03.439 I just I was very tired. And one thing I 0:19:03.480 --> 0:19:08.040 want to say is that it really wasn't until about 0:19:08.760 --> 0:19:11.880 four or five months later that it kind of hit 0:19:11.960 --> 0:19:15.280 me what just happened to me, you know, And I 0:19:15.359 --> 0:19:19.920 had a little moment of anxiety. And if anybody who 0:19:20.359 --> 0:19:23.320 has gone through this or any kind of health crisis, 0:19:24.080 --> 0:19:26.720 I think they can recognize that sometimes when you come 0:19:26.800 --> 0:19:32.959 so close to, you know, thinking about mortality. And I 0:19:33.000 --> 0:19:37.359 started doing mindfulness meditation, and I worked with a cognitive 0:19:37.400 --> 0:19:42.359 behavioral therapist to help control the thoughts that were just 0:19:42.840 --> 0:19:48.440 negative and not true, but were there. And I want 0:19:48.480 --> 0:19:53.879 people to know that there is always help and ways 0:19:53.960 --> 0:19:57.199 to get around these things that come up, and that 0:19:57.280 --> 0:20:00.480 they might not necessarily come up as you're going through them. 0:20:00.920 --> 0:20:03.080 They might come and sneak up on you when you're 0:20:03.320 --> 0:20:06.600 relaxed because you've kind of passed over the hurdle. 0:20:07.600 --> 0:20:10.119 Well, thank you for being bold enough to say that, 0:20:10.200 --> 0:20:12.880 because I think a lot of people think that if 0:20:12.880 --> 0:20:15.399 you ask for help or you need help, that that's 0:20:15.440 --> 0:20:18.880 a sign of weakness and I'm like, oh no, no, no, no, no. 0:20:18.680 --> 0:20:19.520 No, no no no. 0:20:19.680 --> 0:20:22.000 If I didn't have my grief counselor right now, I 0:20:22.000 --> 0:20:23.720 wouldn't be functioning exactly. 0:20:23.400 --> 0:20:27.280 Right, exactly right. And I think that's so true. And 0:20:27.880 --> 0:20:33.000 you know, listen, I also had such amazing girlfriends and 0:20:33.480 --> 0:20:38.199 you know, family that came in and helped. And you 0:20:38.320 --> 0:20:42.439 have to be so appreciative and thankful for all of that. 0:20:42.680 --> 0:20:45.120 You know, who made you laugh? Who made you laugh 0:20:45.160 --> 0:20:45.880 so bad at hurt? 0:20:46.320 --> 0:20:50.240 Oh my gosh, Tom, for what he made me laugh? 0:20:50.720 --> 0:20:52.840 Is he as funny off like when you guys are 0:20:52.880 --> 0:20:55.000 just kicking it at the campground. 0:20:54.560 --> 0:20:57.840 As he is. Yes, dang, your hobby is funny. 0:20:58.200 --> 0:21:00.119 Oh my god, that's one of the things that we 0:21:00.119 --> 0:21:00.440 we do. 0:21:00.760 --> 0:21:03.480 And you're so funny. Your timing is impeccable. 0:21:05.440 --> 0:21:08.520 Well, it's really fun to be goofy, you know what 0:21:08.560 --> 0:21:10.880 I mean. But I did have a couple of girlfriends. 0:21:11.000 --> 0:21:16.720 My girlfriends Carolyn, Olivia and Patty. Oh lord, they made 0:21:16.800 --> 0:21:17.560 me laugh. 0:21:17.480 --> 0:21:19.600 They just and did you get mad and say stop 0:21:19.600 --> 0:21:21.080 at herd stop stop? 0:21:21.160 --> 0:21:25.400 Yes, yes you did. And my girlfriend Jane too. Two 0:21:25.440 --> 0:21:27.040 of them were the New York Crew, and two of 0:21:27.040 --> 0:21:32.200 them came in from La. I mean literally, it was fantastic. 0:21:32.680 --> 0:21:35.080 And you know, that's one of the other things that 0:21:35.240 --> 0:21:38.600 was so kind of amazing is even when you're going 0:21:38.600 --> 0:21:41.320 through stuff like that, you still can laugh, You can 0:21:41.359 --> 0:21:44.919 still find joy in life and still enjoy things, you 0:21:44.920 --> 0:21:45.480 know what I mean. 0:21:45.760 --> 0:21:50.280 So our family has a sick, demented, twisted sense of 0:21:50.359 --> 0:21:54.800 humor and yeah, yeah, and we can find the humor 0:21:55.320 --> 0:21:59.480 in just about any situation. And when Zach chose to 0:21:59.560 --> 0:22:05.320 leave us, the mortuary here in town said, Delilah, if 0:22:05.320 --> 0:22:08.480 you want to just come and spend some time, you 0:22:08.560 --> 0:22:11.080 and your family with your son, just let us know 0:22:11.320 --> 0:22:14.000 and we'll open up the doors and you can spend. 0:22:13.720 --> 0:22:16.080 As much time as you want. So I said, that 0:22:16.080 --> 0:22:17.000 would be really nice. 0:22:17.080 --> 0:22:20.000 Let me call a few of his friends and see 0:22:20.000 --> 0:22:22.240 if they want to get together. And so we went 0:22:22.359 --> 0:22:24.960 down and you know, I thought we would spend half 0:22:25.000 --> 0:22:30.240 an hour, an hour there, Zach's friends and family showed 0:22:30.320 --> 0:22:35.400 up and we were there in the home for eight 0:22:35.480 --> 0:22:42.040 or ten hours, telling stories and we were laughing so hard, 0:22:42.520 --> 0:22:45.520 and I mean, obviously we were crying. But all those 0:22:45.560 --> 0:22:49.000 stories that the kids never let their parents know what 0:22:49.000 --> 0:22:49.640 they're up to. 0:22:49.760 --> 0:22:53.240 That's right now now it can all be revealed. 0:22:53.400 --> 0:22:57.679 And his friends were telling these hysterical stories and I'm like, 0:22:57.720 --> 0:23:02.120 he did what? Yeah, And they just told I mean 0:23:02.440 --> 0:23:07.760 story after story like that and we were all laughing 0:23:07.960 --> 0:23:11.840 and it was so healing for all of us. Yeah, 0:23:12.440 --> 0:23:15.280 you know, just so much love. 0:23:15.640 --> 0:23:18.440 I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I'm 0:23:18.480 --> 0:23:19.240 sorry you was. 0:23:19.200 --> 0:23:21.680 Suffering need too. 0:23:22.880 --> 0:23:25.919 So tell me about throwing me a party. Did you 0:23:25.960 --> 0:23:28.919 write that while you were going through breast cancer or 0:23:28.920 --> 0:23:30.760 did you write that thinking of someone? 0:23:31.160 --> 0:23:35.280 I wrote it afterwards. I had the title because what 0:23:35.440 --> 0:23:41.400 happened was when I was diagnosed but didn't know what 0:23:41.960 --> 0:23:44.760 the outcome was going to be, and you're having your 0:23:44.800 --> 0:23:46.520 surgery and you really don't know what they're going to 0:23:46.560 --> 0:23:49.400 find when they go in there and all of that. 0:23:49.680 --> 0:23:57.000