Speaker 1: Here we are together again. My friend, I got a
Speaker 1: treat for you. Oh my word, do I have a
Speaker 1: treat for you. My special guest is someone you'll know,
Speaker 1: even if you don't know that you know her.
Speaker 2: She's an actress.
Speaker 1: She first appeared in an episode of The Brady Bunch
Speaker 1: and went on to have roles on mash Three's Company,
Speaker 1: Boozom Buddies, and Frasier. She's been in films like Sleepless
Speaker 1: in Seattle, The Bonfire of the Vanities, Jingle All the Way,
Speaker 1: The Story of Us, and one of my favorites, It's Complicated.
Speaker 1: She produced My Big Fat Greek Wedding and It's sequel.
Speaker 1: She's also a beautiful, beautiful singer and a songwriter and
Speaker 1: a beautiful human being. Any idea what I'm talking about?
Speaker 1: Here's one more hint. Sometimes she's known as missus Tom Hanks. Actually,
Speaker 1: between you and I, I think he should be known
Speaker 1: as mister Rita Wilson.
Speaker 2: I'm not kidding.
Speaker 1: This incredibly talented, kind, inspiring hot ticket. She has released
Speaker 1: some brand new music and her single Throw Me a Party.
Speaker 2: It'll wreck you, It really will. I'm not kidding. It
Speaker 2: is so beautiful, it is so powerful.
Speaker 1: You will fall in love with the song and it's
Speaker 1: kind of become my anthem. Rita Wilson joins me today, and,
Speaker 1: oh my word, do we have a lot to catch
Speaker 1: up on. You're gonna discover her to be so humble,
Speaker 1: so danged real. She is as down to earth as
Speaker 1: can be, and her advice is spot on. Our podcast
Speaker 1: sponsor is the Home Depot. You hear me talking about
Speaker 1: the Home Depot a lot because I go there a lot.
Speaker 1: Years ago, my business partner heard me talking one night
Speaker 1: about my experience at the Home Depot, and so we
Speaker 1: decided to partner with them because I love them so much.
Speaker 1: I have an old house. My house was built in
Speaker 1: nineteen oh seven, so I'm constantly having to update it,
Speaker 1: so I'm constantly going to the Home Depot for everything.
Speaker 1: When the plumbing needed to be updated, I went to
Speaker 1: the Home Depot. When the wiring had to be redone,
Speaker 1: the contractor and I went together to the Home Depot
Speaker 1: when I needed updated fixtures. Again, we went to the
Speaker 1: Home Depot for everything from paint to stain to door knobs.
Speaker 2: Whatever you need, you will find.
Speaker 1: It for your home projects or your garden projects at
Speaker 1: the Home Depot. The home depot, more saving, more doing,
Speaker 1: Rita Wilson, I am so glad that you are here
Speaker 1: with us.
Speaker 3: This is fantastic.
Speaker 1: Rita Wilson has done so many things in life, producing acting,
Speaker 1: you're gorgeous and singing, and then you're you know, married
Speaker 1: to somebody who's done a few things. I got to know,
Speaker 1: did you guys meet back in the day when he
Speaker 1: was in that TV show that you were on?
Speaker 3: He did a show called Bosom Buddies and we met
Speaker 3: on that And how old were you I can't remember,
Speaker 3: like early to mid twenties. And then about a couple
Speaker 3: of years later I was cast in a movie opposite
Speaker 3: him and called Volunteers, which no one ever talks about
Speaker 3: in the canon of Hank's films. But then we met,
Speaker 3: and then it wasn't so after that they that we
Speaker 3: really started dating, and that now we've been married thirty
Speaker 3: one years.
Speaker 2: Amazing.
Speaker 3: I know.
Speaker 1: I heard him say one time I was watching an
Speaker 1: interview and he said, my wife is the best thing
Speaker 1: that ever happened to me.
Speaker 3: That's so nice. Well, I think, look, I look at
Speaker 3: being married thirty one years and I think that's kind
Speaker 3: of fantastic. But then I also look at my parents
Speaker 3: who were married almost sixty years before my dad passed away,
Speaker 3: and I think we're just halfway there, do you know
Speaker 3: what I mean? It's kind of extraordinary when you think
Speaker 3: about it, that you can spend a life with someone.
Speaker 3: But I can't imagine spending my life with anyone other
Speaker 3: than my husband. I mean, it's just you know, you
Speaker 3: become it overtakes something, and it doesn't. It's not just
Speaker 3: a marriage or husband anymore. It's a life and a
Speaker 3: history and your family. It's everything. So you know it's
Speaker 3: very precious.
Speaker 1: Well, I applaud you. I I kind of went the
Speaker 1: opposite endo the spectrum. No, if this one didn't work, Nope,
Speaker 1: that one didn't work.
Speaker 3: Well, it's better than It's better to get out of
Speaker 3: something that's not working than to stay in something that
Speaker 3: is not good for you.
Speaker 1: You know, it is so thirty one years with the
Speaker 1: love of your life. And tell me the silliest, funniest
Speaker 1: thing that nobody would ever believe in a million years
Speaker 1: that you have done, or that you two have done together,
Speaker 1: that people would just like their job. Like when people
Speaker 1: find out I have pet Emo's, they're like, what.
Speaker 3: You have? What? Let me think? I think camping. I
Speaker 3: don't think people would realize that we like to camp.
Speaker 1: It's got to be hard, though, because when you go
Speaker 1: to a campground, is everybody like, oh my god, Rita
Speaker 1: Wilson and Tom Hanks are in the next tent over.
Speaker 3: No, because people tend to be very respectful because they
Speaker 3: figure if you're there, you're there for the same reasons
Speaker 3: they're there, and they just want to enjoy the surroundings
Speaker 3: and be beautiful, you know, have it, be beautiful, enjoy that,
Speaker 3: and you know, it's kind of amazing how cool people are.
Speaker 3: So I think that's probably the thing that people don't
Speaker 3: really know about us.
Speaker 2: That is something I never would have guessed.
Speaker 3: Right, It's kind of funny.
Speaker 2: I loved camping.
Speaker 1: A couple of years ago, Hobby said, listen, I've got
Speaker 1: a twenty eight year old motorhome in storage. I'm going
Speaker 1: to fix it up and next year we're going to
Speaker 1: go on road trip.
Speaker 3: Oh how fun.
Speaker 2: And so we took nineteen kids.
Speaker 1: I drove my thirteen passenger van, he drove a twenty
Speaker 1: nine year old motor home and we went to Yellowstone.
Speaker 3: Oh my goodness.
Speaker 2: And we were the clampets camping along the way.
Speaker 3: That is so much fun.
Speaker 2: It was so much fun.
Speaker 3: Incredible. So, wait, did you have all of your camp
Speaker 3: gear sort of in a trailer behind the well?
Speaker 1: The motorhome has storage underneath. So we had three tents,
Speaker 1: one for the girls, one for the boys, and one
Speaker 1: for my godson who was at the time an adult
Speaker 1: and needed his own private space. And so we fell
Speaker 1: in love with it, and so Paul and I bought
Speaker 1: a more modern motorhome. It's only like eighteen years old
Speaker 1: because the downs fall of that was the air condition
Speaker 1: quit working. Oh and you really need ac and when
Speaker 1: you're in Yellowstone, so.
Speaker 3: It's the summer.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, but now every summer we take at least
Speaker 1: one or two road trips.
Speaker 2: So with the kids and the grandkids.
Speaker 3: Uh, you know what, that's what everybody remembers. Oh my god,
Speaker 3: remember as a kid, my dad he was a bartender.
Speaker 3: My mom was a housewife, but she you know, cooked
Speaker 3: and made our clothes. But once a year we would
Speaker 3: go to and don't ask me why, Las Vegas for
Speaker 3: our summer vacation. So you imagined, probably we went because
Speaker 3: it was less expensive in the summer. That's probably what happened.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because nobody in the right mind wants to go
Speaker 1: to Vegas in the summer, and.
Speaker 3: They had those all you can eat buffets, right oh.
Speaker 1: For ninety nine cents, And so my dad would We
Speaker 1: had a black plymouth belvetere that we called the Batmobile.
Speaker 3: It was a convertible and he would make beds, so
Speaker 3: one like in the well where the convertible top would
Speaker 3: be stored if the top was down, then one on
Speaker 3: the back seat, and then he would fill up the
Speaker 3: footwells with you know, blankets and make them sort of
Speaker 3: level so we could all three have a place to
Speaker 3: sleep and he would get us up at like three
Speaker 3: or four in the morning. We loved it, and we
Speaker 3: would take off at night why to get through the
Speaker 3: desert before it got really hot. And I remember those
Speaker 3: trips like, you know, they were magical. You know, you're
Speaker 3: with your family, You're playing music AM radio at the time,
Speaker 3: which was playing everything you could possibly want to listen to, like,
Speaker 3: you know, the Supremes, the Beatles, the Beach Boys, Johnny Cash,
Speaker 3: Dolly Parton, Dave Mason, Frank Sinatra. It was all over
Speaker 3: the map. And I think that's in some ways how
Speaker 3: I developed my taste in music. And you know, we
Speaker 3: would be driving through the desert and the sun coming
Speaker 3: up was so beautiful. And you know, even though my
Speaker 3: dad didn't make a lot of money, we still we
Speaker 3: didn't know. We just thought, this is a great vacation.
Speaker 3: Then we got to Vegas. We stayed in the hotel
Speaker 3: with a pool, a hell.
Speaker 2: With a pool, a motel.
Speaker 1: So our family only went We went camping every summer
Speaker 1: my whole life. That was our summer vacation. We would
Speaker 1: go with the same My parents had two couples, three
Speaker 1: couples that they were best friends with, and they all
Speaker 1: played guitar.
Speaker 2: They all were musicians.
Speaker 1: Wow, And we would go camping and we would uh,
Speaker 1: they would put the kids to bed, you know, eight nine,
Speaker 1: ten o'clock, and then the parents would sit around the
Speaker 1: campfire singing. Oh and honest to goodness, those are my
Speaker 1: favorite memories of my whole life.
Speaker 3: It does it not surprise you that it's just magical
Speaker 3: become a person who basically listens and plays this amazing music.
Speaker 3: I mean, I think music is more powerful in our
Speaker 3: lives than we acknowledge or give credit to. You know,
Speaker 3: even if it's just something that's playing in the background
Speaker 3: when you're you know, washing the Dishes or something. It's
Speaker 3: like powerful and evocative.
Speaker 1: We're going to take a break with Rita Wilson right now,
Speaker 1: stretch our legs, talk about our sponsor, and then get
Speaker 1: right back into it because I am so loving getting
Speaker 1: to know this incredibly talented sweet lady. Now back to
Speaker 1: our conversation with my new bestie. Oh my gosh, am
Speaker 1: I enjoying getting to know Rita Wilson.
Speaker 2: So when did you know?
Speaker 1: When did you realize how old were you that God
Speaker 1: had gifted you Rita? It was such a beautiful voice.
Speaker 3: Well, first of all, thank you. That's a huge compliment.
Speaker 3: And I would say that I knew that I wanted
Speaker 3: to sing when I was a kid, and I loved
Speaker 3: songs that had stories in them that sort of took
Speaker 3: me away where some people love books, which I also enjoyed.
Speaker 3: I was really attracted to the stories and songs. Some
Speaker 3: of those songs were things like Owed to Billy Joe
Speaker 3: by Bobby Gentry or She's Leaving Home by the Beatles
Speaker 3: with another song that it was like, you know, Wednesday
Speaker 3: morning at five o'clock, as the day begins and you
Speaker 3: realize that this girl is leaving home and she hasn't
Speaker 3: told her parents. The parents wake up and they find
Speaker 3: out that their daughter is gone and she's gone to
Speaker 3: meet a man in the motor trade. Does that not
Speaker 3: sound terrifying to you? Right there?
Speaker 2: It's like what every parent's worst drand.
Speaker 3: Every parents worst nightmare, like a complete stranger and he's
Speaker 3: got cars or access to cars. Like, no, this is
Speaker 3: not good. But I, you know, found myself thinking about
Speaker 3: the girl in the story, the parents in the story,
Speaker 3: the guy in the motor trade, and you know, to
Speaker 3: me that anything that can get you thinking like that
Speaker 3: or put you in someone's shoes, to me was sort
Speaker 3: of the beginning of my love of stories in songs.
Speaker 3: And then it really wasn't until I met Kara Dia Guardi,
Speaker 3: the amazing songwriter and producer, that I started writing songs
Speaker 3: because she was the one who suggested that I write
Speaker 3: songs and I said I didn't know how to do that.
Speaker 3: I didn't play an instrument and I didn't read music,
Speaker 3: and she said, it doesn't matter, do you have something
Speaker 3: you want to say? And when she said that, it
Speaker 3: was like the clouds, you know, kind of burst open
Speaker 3: and the ray of sun started shining down and I
Speaker 3: was thought oh my goodness, because I'd had done an
Speaker 3: album of cover songs called AMFM, and I always thought, Wow,
Speaker 3: it would be so great to be a songwriter, and
Speaker 3: if it wasn't for Karadia Gordy, who actually was the
Speaker 3: person who said, I will write your first songs with you,
Speaker 3: which she did, and that opened it up to writing
Speaker 3: with other people. And Christian Bush will be on tour
Speaker 3: with this summer. He was also a person who said
Speaker 3: to me when I had opened for sugar Land with
Speaker 3: that first album, he said, Hey, if you ever decide
Speaker 3: you want to start writing music, you know, let me know.
Speaker 3: And this was before I'd even met Kara, but I
Speaker 3: put that in the back of my mind, thinking it
Speaker 3: was like an impossibility, but I clocked that he said that.
Speaker 3: So after I had written a couple of songs with
Speaker 3: Kara and a great songwriter, Jason Reeves, I called Christian
Speaker 3: and I said, do you remember that thing you said
Speaker 3: about writing And he said, yeah, when do you want
Speaker 3: to do it? He didn't even hesitate, and he ended
Speaker 3: up writing the next few songs with me, and then
Speaker 3: I started going down to Nashville and writing with a
Speaker 3: ton of people in Nashville, and then of course in La.
Speaker 3: So I don't know. I don't know how to answer
Speaker 3: that question. I think the blessing was Kara, and that
Speaker 3: kind of comes full circle too, because we've spoken about
Speaker 3: this before. But you know, I had breast cancer a
Speaker 3: couple of years ago, and when I didn't know I
Speaker 3: had breast cancer, I was initially misdiagnosed and told that
Speaker 3: I didn't have breast cancer. And Kara, who was a
Speaker 3: brack A gene carrier and whose mother died of ovarian cancer,
Speaker 3: had had a prophylactic mastectomy in reconstruction. She's spoken about this,
Speaker 3: so I'm not revealing anything private, and she said, you
Speaker 3: really should go see my doctor in New York, doctor
Speaker 3: Eli Support and talk to her and get a second opinion.
Speaker 3: At the same time, SO.
Speaker 2: Went back up.
Speaker 1: You say you were misdiagnosed, had you discovered a lump
Speaker 1: and they said it wasn't cancerous.
Speaker 3: There was something in a breast MRI that lit up
Speaker 3: and it was an underlying condition that I had called
Speaker 3: leomorphic popular carcinoma in the sea two, which doesn't necessarily
Speaker 3: mean it's cancer, but it means that when you have
Speaker 3: that tissue that's abnormal, it is usually associated with breast cancer,
Speaker 3: and they had done lumpectomies and they didn't find any
Speaker 3: cancer in the pathology. Then I had a girlfriend who
Speaker 3: was a two time breast cancer survivor, and she said,
Speaker 3: you really should get your pathology looked at and have
Speaker 3: a second opinion on that. And all during this time, Delilah,
Speaker 3: I felt like my gut was telling me something was off.
Speaker 3: I didn't feel that like, oh yeah, beee, I don't
Speaker 3: have cancer. There was just too many unknowns. So I thought, Okay,
Speaker 3: it doesn't hurt to get a second opinion on the pathology.
Speaker 2: Doesn't hurt to have some more eyes look at this
Speaker 2: and give me their opinion, people who know what they know, right.
Speaker 3: And in the meantime, Kara and I had been having
Speaker 3: dinner in new and she said, go see doctor Relly Support,
Speaker 3: who I went to see, and doctor Port said, yes,
Speaker 3: you should get a second opinion on your pasthology. I
Speaker 3: don't understand why you keep having lumpectomies. And she mentioned
Speaker 3: the same doctor, doctor Ira Bleiweiss, he's a saint, And
Speaker 3: it was the same doctor that my friend Mary had said.
Speaker 3: So I think all of these things were like angels
Speaker 3: sort of walking me into a very specific direction. And
Speaker 3: then when I got the pathology back, I found out
Speaker 3: that I in fact did have breast cancer. So doctor
Speaker 3: Port did my surgery, and I was in New York
Speaker 3: doing a play with Larry David at the time called
Speaker 3: Fish in the Dark, and it was extraordinary. I did
Speaker 3: the play, I opened the play, I took a month off,
Speaker 3: had my surgery, had my bilab romanstic me, and then
Speaker 3: went back to the play about a month later.
Speaker 2: Holy moly, Yeah, hold on, I'm just gonna have my
Speaker 2: whole body re built here. I'll be right back, well.
Speaker 3: Literally, And looking back on it, I think there was
Speaker 3: a part of it that was like I just wanted
Speaker 3: to get back to normal. But I was so tired.
Speaker 3: You know, you don't realize what that is to your
Speaker 3: what that does to your body, you know, in terms
Speaker 3: of exhaustion. But everybody had said that typical three to
Speaker 3: four weeks is what people take off. But then I
Speaker 3: realized that's probably people who maybe sit at a desk
Speaker 3: or don't have you know, the demands of running up
Speaker 3: and down stairs during a production and costume changes and
Speaker 3: experiencing the energy of an audience, and also having to
Speaker 3: put out so much energy, but in some ways the
Speaker 3: play was what kept me going, and I felt so
Speaker 3: thankful to have it and have it to go back to.
Speaker 3: I just I was very tired. And one thing I
Speaker 3: want to say is that it really wasn't until about
Speaker 3: four or five months later that it kind of hit
Speaker 3: me what just happened to me, you know, And I
Speaker 3: had a little moment of anxiety. And if anybody who
Speaker 3: has gone through this or any kind of health crisis,
Speaker 3: I think they can recognize that sometimes when you come
Speaker 3: so close to, you know, thinking about mortality. And I
Speaker 3: started doing mindfulness meditation, and I worked with a cognitive
Speaker 3: behavioral therapist to help control the thoughts that were just
Speaker 3: negative and not true, but were there. And I want
Speaker 3: people to know that there is always help and ways
Speaker 3: to get around these things that come up, and that
Speaker 3: they might not necessarily come up as you're going through them.
Speaker 3: They might come and sneak up on you when you're
Speaker 3: relaxed because you've kind of passed over the hurdle.
Speaker 1: Well, thank you for being bold enough to say that,
Speaker 1: because I think a lot of people think that if
Speaker 1: you ask for help or you need help, that that's
Speaker 1: a sign of weakness and I'm like, oh no, no, no, no, no.
Speaker 2: No, no no no.
Speaker 1: If I didn't have my grief counselor right now, I
Speaker 1: wouldn't be functioning exactly.
Speaker 3: Right, exactly right. And I think that's so true. And
Speaker 3: you know, listen, I also had such amazing girlfriends and
Speaker 3: you know, family that came in and helped. And you
Speaker 3: have to be so appreciative and thankful for all of that.
Speaker 2: You know, who made you laugh? Who made you laugh
Speaker 2: so bad at hurt?
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, Tom, for what he made me laugh?
Speaker 1: Is he as funny off like when you guys are
Speaker 1: just kicking it at the campground.
Speaker 2: As he is. Yes, dang, your hobby is funny.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, that's one of the things that we
Speaker 3: we do.
Speaker 2: And you're so funny. Your timing is impeccable.
Speaker 3: Well, it's really fun to be goofy, you know what
Speaker 3: I mean. But I did have a couple of girlfriends.
Speaker 3: My girlfriends Carolyn, Olivia and Patty. Oh lord, they made
Speaker 3: me laugh.
Speaker 1: They just and did you get mad and say stop
Speaker 1: at herd stop stop?
Speaker 3: Yes, yes you did. And my girlfriend Jane too. Two
Speaker 3: of them were the New York Crew, and two of
Speaker 3: them came in from La. I mean literally, it was fantastic.
Speaker 3: And you know, that's one of the other things that
Speaker 3: was so kind of amazing is even when you're going
Speaker 3: through stuff like that, you still can laugh, You can
Speaker 3: still find joy in life and still enjoy things, you
Speaker 3: know what I mean.
Speaker 1: So our family has a sick, demented, twisted sense of
Speaker 1: humor and yeah, yeah, and we can find the humor
Speaker 1: in just about any situation. And when Zach chose to
Speaker 1: leave us, the mortuary here in town said, Delilah, if
Speaker 1: you want to just come and spend some time, you
Speaker 1: and your family with your son, just let us know
Speaker 1: and we'll open up the doors and you can spend.
Speaker 2: As much time as you want. So I said, that
Speaker 2: would be really nice.
Speaker 1: Let me call a few of his friends and see
Speaker 1: if they want to get together. And so we went
Speaker 1: down and you know, I thought we would spend half
Speaker 1: an hour, an hour there, Zach's friends and family showed
Speaker 1: up and we were there in the home for eight
Speaker 1: or ten hours, telling stories and we were laughing so hard,
Speaker 1: and I mean, obviously we were crying. But all those
Speaker 1: stories that the kids never let their parents know what
Speaker 1: they're up to.
Speaker 2: That's right now now it can all be revealed.
Speaker 1: And his friends were telling these hysterical stories and I'm like,
Speaker 1: he did what? Yeah, And they just told I mean
Speaker 1: story after story like that and we were all laughing
Speaker 1: and it was so healing for all of us. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, just so much love.
Speaker 3: I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I'm
Speaker 3: sorry you was.
Speaker 2: Suffering need too.
Speaker 1: So tell me about throwing me a party. Did you
Speaker 1: write that while you were going through breast cancer or
Speaker 1: did you write that thinking of someone?
Speaker 3: I wrote it afterwards. I had the title because what
Speaker 3: happened was when I was diagnosed but didn't know what
Speaker 3: the outcome was going to be, and you're having your
Speaker 3: surgery and you really don't know what they're going to
Speaker 3: find when they go in there and all of that.
Speaker 3: I wanted to be very practical, and I had conversations
Speaker 3: with Tom about stuff that I wanted and wanted, how
Speaker 3: I wanted to have things happen if I should go
Speaker 3: before him, and I told him that I wanted him
Speaker 3: to be very sad for a while, but that I
Speaker 3: wanted to make sure that he threw me a party
Speaker 3: and that it would be with all my friends and
Speaker 3: we would tell all our stories and drink wine. And
Speaker 3: I wanted like a campfire of you know, music and
Speaker 3: songs and people getting up and just sharing. So I
Speaker 3: had this title and I wrote the song with Christian
Speaker 3: Bush and Liz Rose to incredible songwriters. Liz wrote, she
Speaker 3: was co writer on girl Crush. She wanted to Grammy
Speaker 3: with Taylor's Swift for White Horse. She wrote a bunch
Speaker 3: of the songs with Taylor Swift in Taylor's early years.
Speaker 3: You belonged to Me. Of course, Christian founded the band
Speaker 3: and as a member of the band Sugarland, so those
Speaker 3: two people were maybe the perfect songwriters for that song.
Speaker 3: And it just was something that I felt said exactly
Speaker 3: what we were trying to say musically as well as lyrically.
Speaker 3: And then I realized, Delilah, that people have thought about
Speaker 3: this stuff, even if you haven't gone through anything. I
Speaker 3: think if you have elderly parents, maybe they've told it
Speaker 3: to you and that gets you thinking about your own stuff.
Speaker 3: And when we posted the video.
Speaker 1: And oh the video slay slamy, beautiful video, but oh my.
Speaker 3: Gosh, thank you, but we realized that people were not
Speaker 3: afraid of talking about the things that they wanted when
Speaker 3: they go and how they want their families to remember
Speaker 3: them and celebrate them and be with them. You know.
Speaker 3: So I thought I was really exposing this deep dark secret,
Speaker 3: but it turns out that, you know, sometimes the more
Speaker 3: specific you are, the more universal it is, and people
Speaker 3: have thought about it.
Speaker 1: I don't think you're exposing a deep dark secret, but
Speaker 1: I certainly think the song gives people opportunities to have real,
Speaker 1: honest conversations that are hard.
Speaker 3: They're hard. Nobody wants to do that, Nobody wants to
Speaker 3: acknowledge it, nobody wants to think about it. But you know,
Speaker 3: I think we've all had circumstances or experience when people
Speaker 3: leave without any express wishes and how it can be
Speaker 3: confusing for the ones that are left about what is
Speaker 3: the best thing to.
Speaker 1: Do so and then they start fussing and fighting and disagreeing.
Speaker 2: And yeah, yeah, the more the.
Speaker 1: More you can let people know what your heart is. Okay,
Speaker 1: there's one line in the song in the first part
Speaker 1: I have to ask you, what lines would you cross?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 2: I always wish I'd crossed a few more lines, Like
Speaker 2: I gotta know what like if you had to do
Speaker 2: it all over again?
Speaker 3: Oh, I love this question so much. No, one has
Speaker 3: ever asked me that question. Thank you so much for
Speaker 3: asking that it would be this. I feel that we
Speaker 3: all have within us the ability to say no to
Speaker 3: things and say yes to the things that we really
Speaker 3: want to do. And whatever it is age or society
Speaker 3: or upbringing or gender or whatever, those things are that
Speaker 3: keep you from doing the things that you love to
Speaker 3: do and want to do. By speaking your truth are
Speaker 3: the things that I feel are the crossing the lines.
Speaker 3: You know, Like I grew up in a generation where
Speaker 3: women had to be polite and women had to be
Speaker 3: people pleasers and things like that, and now I just
Speaker 3: don't care anymore. I wish that all young women, and
Speaker 3: I think most young women nowadays are probably able to
Speaker 3: sort of speak their mind more clearly than my generation did.
Speaker 3: But I would say that I would just do the
Speaker 3: things that you love to do. Take the chances you're
Speaker 3: only young once, try to do it. Pursue the things
Speaker 3: that are your passion that you want to do, because
Speaker 3: every day is a gift. We're here. Every single day
Speaker 3: that you are here to share your gifts or to
Speaker 3: share in other people's gifts is a day that we
Speaker 3: have to live to the full. So I think when
Speaker 3: you're young, you're worried about so many things. What am
Speaker 3: I going to do for a living? When am I
Speaker 3: going to meet this person? When am I going to
Speaker 3: have children? What am I going to you know? And
Speaker 3: I think all of those things fall into place if
Speaker 3: you're doing the things that you love to do and
Speaker 3: you're not afraid to do them.
Speaker 1: So you wouldn't have become an act like the high
Speaker 1: wire act in a circus. You wouldn't have have danced
Speaker 1: on a tabletop in Mexico after one too many tequilas.
Speaker 3: I totally would have been earlier, that's for sure. And
Speaker 3: I would have.
Speaker 2: Because I did. I danced on the table tap Rita?
Speaker 3: Did you?
Speaker 2: I did? Thank God? There was no social media back then.
Speaker 3: Well it's never too late, Delilah. Even get up on
Speaker 3: a table again and have it all documented.
Speaker 2: Well, if it were see here's the thing.
Speaker 1: If it were documented then I was only twenty three,
Speaker 1: twenty four.
Speaker 3: I looked hot, totally. I looked hot.
Speaker 1: If it were documented now and I was not wearing
Speaker 1: what I was not wearing, this, it would not look
Speaker 1: so hot.
Speaker 3: Why didn't we know that we were like rock and
Speaker 3: a good body and when we were young, I always
Speaker 3: kind of thought, oh, I could be dinner, I could
Speaker 3: be more toned, that could be wherever. I've totally let
Speaker 3: go of that now because I'm just like, I'm so
Speaker 3: happy to be here, amen, and I'm so happy for
Speaker 3: my bodies gotten me through so much.
Speaker 1: You know, I'd let go of it because I think now,
Speaker 1: when I look back on pictures, you know, ten fifteen
Speaker 1: years ago, I.
Speaker 2: Go, dang it, I look good. And I didn't even
Speaker 2: know I look good.
Speaker 1: Now, I'm like, wow, when I'm eighty and I look
Speaker 1: back on the pictures, now, I'm gonna.
Speaker 2: Think I look so good. So I'm gonna believe that
Speaker 2: now rather than waite. Nora E.
Speaker 3: Fron wrote an amazing essay about this in her book
Speaker 3: I Feel Bad about my Neck, And I think she
Speaker 3: said something about, like, if you're under thirty five, you
Speaker 3: should wear a bikini every day of your life.
Speaker 2: Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 3: That's so true, you know. But yeah, I just but
Speaker 3: if I weren't, if I didn't end up doing something
Speaker 3: in the arts, I think I really would have liked
Speaker 3: to have been like an FBI agent or something I love,
Speaker 3: like sort of getting to the bottom of things and
Speaker 3: figuring it out and how did that happen and why?
Speaker 3: And catching a bad guy is always a good thing.
Speaker 2: And you could have been a really sexy spy.
Speaker 3: Oh, sexy spy would have been good.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you could have been as sexy as hell spy.
Speaker 3: I know the kind where you have your hair in
Speaker 3: a bun.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, in a suit, a really severe suit.
Speaker 3: I can see that so much fun. What would you
Speaker 3: have done? Well?
Speaker 2: I definitely wanted to run away and join the circus,
Speaker 2: seriously I did.
Speaker 1: We had a circus that came to our little town.
Speaker 1: I grew up in a tiny little town and we
Speaker 1: had a circus that came to town every year. And
Speaker 1: my dad knew about it before anybody else. Because my
Speaker 1: dad worked for the power company. They had to put
Speaker 1: the power you.
Speaker 3: Know, exactly get it already right.
Speaker 2: For the field.
Speaker 1: There was a field next to the grade school that
Speaker 1: they would they would come to and it was this
Speaker 1: freaking amazing gypsy family wow, where the grandmother like walked
Speaker 1: around with this huge macaw on her shoulders that talked
Speaker 1: and she was no bigger than a minute. She maybe
Speaker 1: weighed ninety pounds and she still did the high wire act.
Speaker 3: Wow.
Speaker 1: And my brother and I would go down Becau as
Speaker 1: soon as Dad told us they were coming, and say
Speaker 1: can we help set up the tents? And they always
Speaker 1: gave us free tickets in exchange for helping them.
Speaker 2: And I would plot it all out.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I would figure out how I was going
Speaker 1: to stuff my bed with pillows, and just like in
Speaker 1: the song that you mentioned earlier, the Beatles song, my
Speaker 1: folks would wake up and discover I was gone.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but it wasn't because of.
Speaker 1: Some man with a motor, you know, in the motor
Speaker 1: business trade, the motor trade.
Speaker 3: Like I'm going off at the circuit.
Speaker 2: I was going to run away with a circus.
Speaker 3: Oh wow.
Speaker 1: I wanted to be one with the animals, one with
Speaker 1: the elephants.
Speaker 3: Yes, but look what you've created in your life. Though
Speaker 3: you're surrounded by animals, you're surrounded by people. You've created
Speaker 3: your family of different origins and different you know, countries,
Speaker 3: and you've created that.
Speaker 2: In a way I have and I even have a zebra.
Speaker 3: Do you have a zebra?
Speaker 2: I have a zebra?
Speaker 3: Oh my goodness? What kind is it? Is it a
Speaker 3: grevy or a commons?
Speaker 2: A graze? And she was born in Kentucky.
Speaker 1: Her mom died giving birth on a farm that raises
Speaker 1: them commercially. And I had posted, because I have a
Speaker 1: lot of equine rescues, I had posted on an equine
Speaker 1: rescue board. Does anyone know anything about zebras? My daughter
Speaker 1: keeps asking, And like two years later, this woman contacted
Speaker 1: me and said, my friend just had a baby zebra
Speaker 1: at her farm and the mom died.
Speaker 2: They don't want to bottle feed it. Are you interested
Speaker 2: in rescuing it?
Speaker 3: Wow?
Speaker 1: So we have Zena the zebra, And I had this
Speaker 1: fantasy that, you know, Zena would be tame and would
Speaker 1: be able to write her No.
Speaker 2: Zebras are a wild animal. They are they were meant
Speaker 2: to be in the wild.
Speaker 1: So she's got a lot of land to roam, and
Speaker 1: she's got her boyfriend Thor, who is a little donkey,
Speaker 1: and and she's you know, happy, but she's not a
Speaker 1: friendly creature.
Speaker 3: That's really funny.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that I would have run away with a circus.
Speaker 3: Wow.
Speaker 1: If I had any talent like you do, I would
Speaker 1: be a singer or a performer, because I write songs.
Speaker 1: I have songs in my head playing all the time.
Speaker 1: But unlike you, the Lord did not give me the
Speaker 1: ability to sing or dance.
Speaker 3: Let me tell you something though, I do think that
Speaker 3: this is interesting. I think that I've met so many
Speaker 3: people when I sign CDs backstage and you know, on
Speaker 3: a meet and greet or something, and so many people
Speaker 3: say to me something that they always wanted to do. Oh,
Speaker 3: I've always wanted to blank whatever it was, sing, play music,
Speaker 3: play the guitar, write, dance, act, and they look at
Speaker 3: me and mention it in a way that it's like
Speaker 3: that's an impossibility for them to do now. And I
Speaker 3: always say to them, well, why don't you do it now?
Speaker 3: And they said, well, what do you mean. I'm like, well,
Speaker 3: you can take an acting class at your community college.
Speaker 3: You can sing with your church choir, or just have
Speaker 3: your girlfriends or guy friends come over and sing do
Speaker 3: singalongs once a month. Or I took a watercolor class
Speaker 3: for five years every week, once a week for five
Speaker 3: years between September and June. And I took a watercolor class.
Speaker 3: I knew nothing about it, and at the end of
Speaker 3: five years, I could pay paintings. I'm not an expert,
Speaker 3: but I learned this, if you do something consistently enough,
Speaker 3: you don't get worse at it. And I think that
Speaker 3: there is so much creative talent out there, and people
Speaker 3: have abilities and gifts, but either they've been told somewhere
Speaker 3: along the way you can't be an artist. Nobody makes
Speaker 3: money being a musician or an actor, or being in
Speaker 3: a carnival or writing that. Nobody makes money doing that.
Speaker 3: You got to find something else that makes you money,
Speaker 3: and it's shut down, you know. And I think that
Speaker 3: that does people a disservice because even if you go
Speaker 3: through that process of exploring what it's like being an artist,
Speaker 3: you are learning something about yourself and you don't know
Speaker 3: where that's going to lead you. But if you shut
Speaker 3: it off, it's like shutting off a fountain and that
Speaker 3: water backs up somewhere. I have met so many lawyers
Speaker 3: or dogs or professional people that are incredible musicians or artists,
Speaker 3: and you know, they were never validated for that. I
Speaker 3: remember there was a guy in my watercolor class, an
Speaker 3: amazing man, Brandon Stoddard. He passed away now, but he
Speaker 3: ran ABC Studios at the height of at the network.
Speaker 3: ABC was, you know, having all the hit shows, and
Speaker 3: he was, you know, a badass businessman, and yet he
Speaker 3: was an artist. He had the soul of an artist,
Speaker 3: and to me, that's probably why he was able to
Speaker 3: have such a success at the time that he was
Speaker 3: running the network, because he knew what it was like
Speaker 3: on some ways, in some ways to be an artist.
Speaker 3: So I would say, don't limit yourself even now. Don't
Speaker 3: limit yourself. Do the things that you love to do.
Speaker 3: If you wanted to write songs, Delilah, you can write songs.
Speaker 3: You don't know what's in there. You know what it's
Speaker 3: like what Karas said to me, Do you have something
Speaker 3: you want to say?
Speaker 2: I just I love you. I love you.
Speaker 3: I love you, and I'm so thankful to be talking
Speaker 3: to you. I really am, really what a treat.
Speaker 2: I just everything about you.
Speaker 1: I love I love that you. You know, I have
Speaker 1: so much talent and yet you're so damn humble.
Speaker 2: There's another thing.
Speaker 1: If I look like you and saying like you, I
Speaker 1: would have killed myself because I wouldn't have stopped being
Speaker 1: on the tabletops, you know.
Speaker 3: But look at this is what I love about what
Speaker 3: you do, through your experiences, through your contact with so
Speaker 3: many people over the course of your life, through the
Speaker 3: tragedies that you've had to endure, and the joys and
Speaker 3: celebrations you are able to give voice to people. And
Speaker 3: by giving voice to people who tell their stories on
Speaker 3: your show and combining it with music, you are creating
Speaker 3: a place for people to come and learn. You're a teacher,
Speaker 3: you are giving that gift. You are showing us how
Speaker 3: to do things. When my mom had Alzheimer's and she
Speaker 3: was in bed and she wasn't speaking anymore and really
Speaker 3: just barely eating. As I mentioned before, I'm Greek Orthodox,
Speaker 3: so my priest just happened to stop by one day.
Speaker 3: You know, we were sitting around with my mom and
Speaker 3: for some reason that day, everybody stopped by. My kids
Speaker 3: were there and Tom, my family members. You know, we
Speaker 3: were just there and I said to Father John, I said,
Speaker 3: I don't understand this, Father John, I don't understand this disease.
Speaker 3: I don't understand why God doesn't take her. What is
Speaker 3: she doing here? What is the purpose? She's not living
Speaker 3: a life anymore, she's you know, unable to do anything
Speaker 3: that she would love to do. She would hate this.
Speaker 3: Without missing a beat, he said, well, she's still here
Speaker 3: teaching you.
Speaker 2: And he was so right, Oh my gosh.
Speaker 3: Yeah, because he was. She's teaching us how to be
Speaker 3: a family. She's teaching us how to care. She's teaching
Speaker 3: us what love is. She was showing us what she
Speaker 3: built in terms of her family, and we were all
Speaker 3: there around her. So I didn't question it anymore. I
Speaker 3: was like, Okay, I get it. And I looked at
Speaker 3: things in a very different way after that. But that's
Speaker 3: what you're doing. You're teaching people.
Speaker 1: Well, I would like to teach people how to be nice,
Speaker 1: how to be kind.
Speaker 2: I just I look.
Speaker 1: Around and I see so much division, so much divisiveness. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so much finger pointing and hatred and vitrolic anger and
Speaker 1: people spewing vulgar unkindness.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And.
Speaker 2: I'm like, people, what are we doing? What are we doing?
Speaker 1: We need to be loving one another. We need to
Speaker 1: be accepting one another. We need to be celebrating one another.
Speaker 3: It's the only way. It's the only way. And I
Speaker 3: think there's a lot of fear around so many different issues,
Speaker 3: and that fear is clouding who we are as in humanity.
Speaker 3: You know, don't forget that we are people. We are
Speaker 3: human beings. We have to look out for each other
Speaker 3: and take care of each other, be good to each other.
Speaker 3: It's time. I feel like there's going to be a
Speaker 3: shift somewhere. It just can't. It can't go on like this.
Speaker 1: Well, you keep singing, you keep performing, you keep writing
Speaker 1: great songs, and I'll keep playing them and together, hopefully
Speaker 1: we can touch some hearts and change the world for.
Speaker 2: Good, God willing, that's what will God willing. Rita, thank
Speaker 2: you so much.
Speaker 3: Thank you, Delilah, Thank you so much.
Speaker 1: Really tell that amazing husband of yours that I just
Speaker 1: think the world of him. And I don't even remember
Speaker 1: what interview I saw him say that in, but I
Speaker 1: fell in love with him all the more of the
Speaker 1: day that I heard him say that you are the
Speaker 1: best thing that ever happened to him.
Speaker 3: Oh man, I will tell him that. Thank you.
Speaker 2: All right, God bless you.
Speaker 3: God bless you.
Speaker 1: We'll talk soon, okay, sweetie, bobbye bye? Did I tell
Speaker 1: you were going to love her?
Speaker 2: How's that for inspiring?
Speaker 1: I so love, love, love this opportunity to get to
Speaker 1: know people in a deeper, more intimate, more profound way,
Speaker 1: spending time chatting, finding out those things things that make
Speaker 1: us unique, but most importantly, those things that make us human.
Speaker 1: Rita shared so much of her story with us, all
Speaker 1: of her professional accomplishments, her long marriage to the man
Speaker 1: that brings her laughter, how she's found reason and resilience
Speaker 1: and power in the face of adversity. And if you
Speaker 1: listen carefully, she gave us a few pearls of wisdom.
Speaker 1: My favorite when she tells us to do the things
Speaker 1: you always wanted to do right now. What is it
Speaker 1: that you have always wanted to do? Will you take
Speaker 1: Rita Wilson's advice and try it right now? Will you
Speaker 1: take an acting class, a watercolor class. Will you plan
Speaker 1: a few strawberry plants, maybe some carrot seeds? Will you
Speaker 1: run away and join the circus like I wanted to
Speaker 1: as a kid. No matter your age or your ability,
Speaker 1: never stop chasing your dreams because right now, as Rita said,
Speaker 1: is if you do something consistently enough, you won't get
Speaker 1: worse at it. It's true, you are going to get better.
Speaker 1: Thank you for listening to this podcast. Thank you for
Speaker 1: subscribing to Love Someone. Join me next time.
Speaker 2: Delne