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Speaker 1: My friend didn't invite me to his wedding. I just

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Speaker 1: found out he's never lying to me.

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Speaker 2: Now, just tell him that you never liked him first,

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Speaker 2: and I'll get him a friend.

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Speaker 1: Greg twenty eight in my circle of friends met Shannon

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Speaker 1: twenty eight about five years ago, and they immediately hit

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Speaker 1: it off. Everyone instantly fell in love with Shannon because

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Speaker 1: she's friendly and really fun to hang out with.

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Speaker 2: Everyone loves Shannon.

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Speaker 1: They were everybody's favorite couple and really made her own

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Speaker 1: hangouts marry fun. We all knew they were perfect for

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Speaker 1: each other. They both made our crew that much better.

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Speaker 2: It's the perfect situation that could never go south.

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Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from filling left out on

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Speaker 1: the r slashowcase story tom subreddit. The engagement was expected

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Speaker 1: but much welcome news. Our friend's circle was buzzing about

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Speaker 1: the inevitable wedding. Then the invitations went out. You know

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Speaker 1: those save the dates magnets that people send out, Well,

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Speaker 1: it really sucks seeing them on everyone else's fridge when

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Speaker 1: I visited friends, knowing I didn't get one and wasn't invited.

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Speaker 1: Filling left out really sucks, but it gives what I

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Speaker 1: completely understand how stressful wedding planning is, and I believe

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Speaker 1: nobody should feel that way when they have to invite

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Speaker 1: people they don't want in their wedding. It's their day

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Speaker 1: and their ceremony. They shouldn't have to have people there

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Speaker 1: who they don't want there. I didn't call it the

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Speaker 1: fuss or expressed to anyone that I was hurt and

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Speaker 1: that I felt excluded from the wedding and by extension,

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Speaker 1: excluded from the group. I didn't want to be looked

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Speaker 1: on in a even worse way that I feel I

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Speaker 1: was apparently being looked at, But no one actually stood

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Speaker 1: up for me when their wedding came up in conversation

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Speaker 1: and people talked about booking flights and rooms destinations in

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Speaker 1: New York City. Eventually I was asked if I book jet.

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Speaker 1: I said we, me and my girlfriend weren't invited. Nobody

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Speaker 1: could believe it, but I insisted that I wasn't upset

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Speaker 1: because I know how situations like this can go. I

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Speaker 1: didn't want to cause any trouble because then the happy

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Speaker 1: couple might resent me. Then I'd be the bad guy.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you don't want to be the bad guy. You

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Speaker 2: just don't go to the wedding. I goes.

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Speaker 1: I heard through other friends that my friend Tracy thought

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Speaker 1: it was really messed up that I wasn't invited. She

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Speaker 1: and I never spoke of how I wasn't invited to

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Speaker 1: the wedding, but she really felt a certain way about it.

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Speaker 1: So a month before the destination wedding, I got a

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Speaker 1: text from Greg basically saying sorry for forgetting to send

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Speaker 1: an invite, but that they would love to have us

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Speaker 1: come to the wedding. It was way too late at

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Speaker 1: that point for me. This is a pity invite. I

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Speaker 1: couldn't get away from my job, and I didn't have

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Speaker 1: a chance to put money aside for a year for

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Speaker 1: an expensive New York City destination wedding like everyone else did.

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Speaker 1: I didn't even get as saved the date. Every flight

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Speaker 1: and hotel no rooms were everyone else was staying obviously

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Speaker 1: too late for that was affordable for me. I texted

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Speaker 1: them back and said I couldn't make it. The wedding

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Speaker 1: came and went, and I felt bad about everything. I

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Speaker 1: saw the Facebook pictures of my friends all having the

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Speaker 1: time of their lives. It looked like a great wedding.

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Speaker 1: There's even a picture of just the group of friends

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Speaker 1: labeled the crew the crew I didn't think of. I'd

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Speaker 1: ever felt so left out. Honestly, it really made me

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Speaker 1: feel worthless and unwanted. So naturally, the typical thoughts surfaced.

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Speaker 1: They don't like you. They think you're annoying. They think

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Speaker 1: you're an a hole. If you can't identify as the

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Speaker 1: show ruck in the group of friends, that means you're it.

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Speaker 1: They think you try way too hard to be nice.

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Speaker 1: They think you're a phony. Then, as if I couldn't

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Speaker 1: get it any worse, Shannon messages me on Facebook asking

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Speaker 1: why I did an RSVP and they said they missed

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Speaker 1: me at the wedding. RSVP doesn't one have to be

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Speaker 1: invited in order to RSVP. Everyone got a year to

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Speaker 1: prepare between getting saved the dates and actual wedding invitations.

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Speaker 1: I got a text from a month before the wedding,

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Speaker 1: just as I feared I'm being made out as a

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Speaker 1: bad guy, and even made a point to keep my

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Speaker 1: feelings to myself to play cool. But as usual, I

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Speaker 1: didn't say this to her because I know how I

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Speaker 1: would end up looking. I actually apologized for her. I

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Speaker 1: don't even know, but I made a point to mention

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Speaker 1: how I spoke to Greg about it. I also made

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Speaker 1: sure to compliment the wedding pictures and say it looked fun.

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Speaker 1: I did everything I could in that conversation to make

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Speaker 1: it easier for her. And of course I feel like

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Speaker 1: a total schmuck.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you should have stood on business there, buddy, That's

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Speaker 2: what I'd say. She's like, why didn't you RCP. It's like, well,

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Speaker 2: I couldn't RSPPI I didn't get invited, And then she'd go,

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Speaker 2: what maybe, Like, well, I mean, yeah, I wasn't gonna

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Speaker 2: make a big deal out of it, but.

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Speaker 1: I got three paragraphs and then two updates. Oh boy,

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Speaker 1: but no, I agree. I would have been like, oh

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Speaker 1: I got invited from Greg a month he said, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I would.

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Speaker 2: Have definitely mentioned it's honestly fishy. The way that he

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Speaker 2: just put that, it's like it maybe it does sound

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Speaker 2: like they don't like you because you're maybe a bit

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Speaker 2: of a people pleaser. You know, have a backbone. You're

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Speaker 2: not real, dude. You should have kept it real in

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Speaker 2: that moment. They didn't feel like you were being real.

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Speaker 2: Come on, that was this past summer and I haven't

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Speaker 2: seen them since. I feel like that's it for me.

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Speaker 2: In the group. Now.

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Speaker 1: I see some of the friends in our group every

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Speaker 1: now and then, but everything feels different now. None of

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Speaker 1: them even responded to my birthday party Facebook invite this month.

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Speaker 1: I feel like things are being said behind the scenes

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Speaker 1: and I feel completely out of the loop. It felt

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Speaker 1: like a passive aggressive message that maybe Greg and Shannon

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Speaker 1: never liked me. My fiance gets along great with Shannon,

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Speaker 1: and she's just confused. Seeing her confusion that makes my

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Speaker 1: heart break even more because she's a sweetheart who's never offended.

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Speaker 2: Anyone in her life.

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Speaker 1: I wish I could break it to her that I'm

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Speaker 1: just the guy in the group that Greg and Shannon thinks,

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Speaker 1: but I don't know how, and it feels like a

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Speaker 1: complete loser who deserves this. I'll always appreciate Tracy for

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Speaker 1: sticking up for me. She may never know how awesome

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Speaker 1: it feels hearing how she told everyone it was messed

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Speaker 1: up that I was left out. Dude, w Tracy, get

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Speaker 1: yourself a Tracy. Okay, a friend, Tracy. I haven't even

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Speaker 1: spoken to her about it, and about a whole thing

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Speaker 1: made me feel or anyone for the matter. Reddit, you

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Speaker 1: were the first to hear about it, because I didn't

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Speaker 1: want to appear like I am making a stink, and

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Speaker 1: even become more disliked this whole thing, as I feel

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Speaker 1: like I don't have any more friends, and to make

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Speaker 1: it worse, soon I'll have a wedding of my own

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Speaker 1: and I'm afraid I won't have any friends there except

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Speaker 1: for Tracy. Of course, how am I supposed to handle

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Speaker 1: who I invite so it doesn't seem like I am

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Speaker 1: leaving people out for petty revenge? How the heck do

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Speaker 1: I even navigate a toxic situation that I had no

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Speaker 1: hand in creating. I feel like I'm in the dark

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Speaker 1: or could be overreacting.

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Speaker 2: What the heck?

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Speaker 1: I wish I could see this friend group and know

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Speaker 1: who these people were so I could really understand the

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Speaker 1: full context.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, there's clearly something that we're missing here.

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Speaker 1: We got two updates, by the way, two updates.

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Speaker 2: It always feels bad to be excluded, right, Oh yeah, No,

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Speaker 2: one likes to be excluded. Nope. But op to say that,

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Speaker 2: like this is a situation that he had no part

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Speaker 2: in creating. It's like you weren't the genesis of this situation,

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Speaker 2: Like that started when you weren't invited to the wedding,

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Speaker 2: but you not saying anything about it or expressing any

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Speaker 2: way about how you felt about it until literally this

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Speaker 2: post is what he just said that in and of itself,

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Speaker 2: is you participating in this toxic affair? Like if you

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Speaker 2: just clearly stated it outright that like, yeah, I didn't

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Speaker 2: get invited, like just asking Greg, like, hey, was I

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Speaker 2: not invited to your wedding? Because it's happened like June July.

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Speaker 2: As soon as you found out you were invited, you

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Speaker 2: should have within like a week reached out to them

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Speaker 2: and been like, hey, so what's going on? Might not

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Speaker 2: invited to your wedding? I would just like to clarify that,

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Speaker 2: And is it something wrong? Are we not cool? You know?

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Speaker 2: By being that passive, like you've kind of allowed this

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Speaker 2: situation to become as stinky as it is. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Update, and then we have another update three days later.

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Speaker 1: I have took everyone's advice and brought it up with Tracy.

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Speaker 1: She just confirmed that Shannon was full of crap when

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Speaker 1: she asked me why I didn't get my RSVP and

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Speaker 1: wanted to absolve herself of guilt. I'm sure if they

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Speaker 1: ever forgot or I just wasn't invited yet, but Tracy

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Speaker 1: said we'd talk about it more tonight when she gets

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Speaker 1: off work. So Shannon was on Greg's side.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, Shannon was like low key, trying to be like, oh,

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Speaker 2: why didn't your RSVP? It's like, you know why he didn't?

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Speaker 2: You know why, Shannon, Oh my gosh, I was clever.

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Speaker 2: This sounds like a circle of friends you don't want

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Speaker 2: to associate yourself with because they're literally conspiring against you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 2: because Shannon and Greg led it.

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Speaker 1: And then and now Tracy's kind of done with the

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Speaker 1: group of friends because Tracy was probably there. Yeah, she's

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Speaker 1: an informant. Get yourself a Tracy final update. I spoke

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Speaker 1: about it in depth with Tracy. Turns out Greg's best man,

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Speaker 1: someone who was never in the gang but grew up

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Speaker 1: with Greg, always hated me, and Greg thinks I'm annoying.

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Speaker 1: Shannon later felt bad that they chose not to invite

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Speaker 1: me and pressured him to invite me over text, knowing

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Speaker 1: I wouldn't be able to make it. Also, it wasn't

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Speaker 1: only Tracy who thought it was wrong that I didn't

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Speaker 1: get an invite, and the chatter is what made Shannon

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Speaker 1: think why I didn't RSVP to make it seem like

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Speaker 1: my invite was lost in the mail. You will never

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Speaker 1: be lost if you joined us LAV every dew week

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Speaker 1: day a three pm PSD. Just tap her profile.

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Speaker 2: That's right, you'll be found right here in the comments section.

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Speaker 2: Sounds like she heard all the chatter about like where's Op?

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Speaker 2: Why is an OP here? Yeah? And then she's like, hey,

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Speaker 2: I wish you could have made it. Why didn't you? RSVP?

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Speaker 2: It's like, come on, but again not saying this is

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Speaker 2: Op's fault because he didn't start this, but his lack

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Speaker 2: of straightforward communication about it as soon as he realized

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Speaker 2: how he felt about it allowed this to sort of persist.

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Speaker 2: You know, I understand not wanting to be the guy

200
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Speaker 2: who like makes a big deal out of anything, but

201
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Speaker 2: it's like you're not necessarily doing that if you're just asking, hey,

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Speaker 2: did you invite me to your wedding? Because I didn't

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Speaker 2: get an invitation? That's literally just asking did it get

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Speaker 2: lost in the mail? What's going on here? Yeah? And yeah,

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Speaker 2: I don't know. It sounds like Greg and Channon are

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Speaker 2: not your friends. No, no, no, and Greg's whatever his

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Speaker 2: best man is. Yeah, I thinks you're a tool. For

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Speaker 2: some reason, which that sounds like a tool. Man, He

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Speaker 2: sounds like a tool.

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Speaker 1: It feels better than knowing this, because, like I said,

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Speaker 1: they don't have to have people they don't want at

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Speaker 1: their wedding. But knowing Greg doesn't like me effing hurts

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Speaker 1: because I always thought we were friends. Turns out he's

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Speaker 1: a phony. Unfortunately, everyone else, except for Tracy and a

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Speaker 1: few others, like Greg more than me, So they kind

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Speaker 1: of felt like they had to choose the side. After

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Speaker 1: Tracy and a few others, it turns out, brought up

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Speaker 1: why I didn't get invited. Lots of people feeling guilty

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Speaker 1: about this. Apparently they still feel like they had to

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Speaker 1: choose a side for whatever reason, probably because most of

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Speaker 1: them went to high school with Greg. Oh, well, that's live.

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Speaker 1: Thanks for the vice about being more certive. Those of

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Speaker 1: you who are polait about it were very helpful. Thanks,

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Speaker 1: But deg was not nice to you about this.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I can definitely see people being like, this

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Speaker 2: is your fault because you didn't speak up because you're

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Speaker 2: a little beta, and it's like, that's not no. It's

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Speaker 2: a delicate situation to bring up, but it's like politics, man,

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Speaker 2: just be a little more sert about it next time,

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Speaker 2: take an active role in figuring the situation out. Yeah, exactly.

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Speaker 2: My queer friends are mad that I got a girlfriend,

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Speaker 2: so I dropped them.

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Speaker 1: Well that's a curve ball.

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Speaker 2: You heard it here first, folks. I am a bisexual

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Speaker 2: guy and my friend Steve, whom I've known for ten years,

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Speaker 2: is gay. So we come from conservative families, so we

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Speaker 2: didn't even know the concept of queerness when we were young.

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Speaker 2: Steve and I were inseparable throughout our teenage years, and

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Speaker 2: people joked that we were like brothers. By the way,

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Speaker 2: this comes from user Victor Reid's on the r slash

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Speaker 2: Okay story time, so I read it. So we managed

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Speaker 2: to get into the same college and move to a

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Speaker 2: big city when we were seventeen years old. This exposed

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Speaker 2: us to a completely different world, and Steve realized that

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Speaker 2: he was gay. I realized that I, who was attracted

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Speaker 2: to men. Not knowing anything about the queer stuff, I

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Speaker 2: thought I was gay too. Steve and I found other

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Speaker 2: queer people, and our new friends circle was made of

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Speaker 2: gay people. We couldn't tell our families that we were queer,

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Speaker 2: so Steve and I could only depend on each other

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Speaker 2: underground queer roads Underground queer roads grade A A A

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Speaker 2: plus commentary. That would be the underground queer railroad would

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Speaker 2: just be from the Midwest to a big city. That

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Speaker 2: is the underground railroad for gay people or West Hollywood.

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Speaker 2: Move out of like the middle of Iowa to West

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Speaker 2: Hollywood and you go, oh, I'm gay. We couldn't tell

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Speaker 2: our friends that we were queer, so Steve and I

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Speaker 2: could only depend on each other. We started dating men,

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Speaker 2: but our initial relationships weren't very serious. After my first

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Speaker 2: gay relationship ended, I realized that I was attracted to

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Speaker 2: both men and women. I was bisexual. I told this

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Speaker 2: to my group of queer friends, who said that I

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Speaker 2: was going through a phase, that years of brainwashing was

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Speaker 2: the reason that I was attracted to women, that I

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Speaker 2: would get over it, and they told me that I

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Speaker 2: was gay. Steve refused to accept that I was bisexual

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Speaker 2: and told me that bisexuality wasn't real. So this is

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Speaker 2: something I've heard from some of my gay friends or

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Speaker 2: bisexual friends, like within the gay community, that they can

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Speaker 2: be very sort of not tolerant or accepting of bisexual people.

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Speaker 1: Dude, that's crazy because like some of the straight community,

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Speaker 1: isn't accepting of gay people, so they're like, no one's

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Speaker 1: accepting anyone.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, just a circle of I don't know, maybe it's

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Speaker 2: just human nature.

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Speaker 1: Not accept one. Like I don't like what you.

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Speaker 2: Bro And I'm not going to try to generalize the

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Speaker 2: entire gay community in a sentence. I'm just telling you

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Speaker 2: what's I've gotten from my own first hand accounts of

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Speaker 2: my friends being like, yeah, I had like a group

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Speaker 2: of friends and they found out I was bisexual, and

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Speaker 2: they like nothing to do with me, or they were

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Speaker 2: telling them. It's like that's not real, Like Steve is said,

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Speaker 2: is where it's like you're actually just gay or you're

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Speaker 2: actually just straight. So it's like pick one, you're pretending interesting, huh,

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Speaker 2: Which what it's like? Let people be who they are.

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Speaker 2: I tried to convince him, but he refused to accept

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Speaker 2: that I wasn't gay. We were roommates, and this started

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Speaker 2: causing a lot of tension between us. I decided to

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Speaker 2: let it go and stopped trying to convince him. Things

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Speaker 2: went back to normal and I had two more gay relationships.

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Speaker 2: Steve got into a serious relationship with a senior. Our

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Speaker 2: families didn't know anything about this. Then I met my

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Speaker 2: current girlfriend Mary at a bar. Mary and I hit

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Speaker 2: off immediately. We exchanged numbers and kept talking for a

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Speaker 2: week before I invited her out to our flat. I

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Speaker 2: introduced her to Steve, and Mary and I went into

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Speaker 2: my room. When she was leaving, I noticed that Steve

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Speaker 2: was glaring at her. I didn't think much about this.

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Speaker 2: Mary and I started meeting more often than Steve refused

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Speaker 2: to talk to her. I decided to ask him about it,

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Speaker 2: and he told me that Mary was not good for

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Speaker 2: me and asked me why I was being so close

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Speaker 2: to a woman. I asked him what he meant by that,

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Speaker 2: and he just stormed off. He's a pick me. Why

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Speaker 2: won't you pick me? Can't you just be my gay

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Speaker 2: best friend lover that I grew up with? He wants

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Speaker 2: to live his idealized fantasy. Well, what's going to a

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Speaker 2: mountain and you're not real bisexuality? It's really throwing off

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Speaker 2: my entire life plan. Steve started fighting me about trivial

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Speaker 2: things that didn't matter before Mary and I made our

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Speaker 2: relationship official a few weeks later, and I posted about

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Speaker 2: it on my story. When I got back to our flat,

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Speaker 2: Steve and a few friends were waiting for me. They're

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Speaker 2: having like a bisexual intervention. Steve started shouting at me,

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Speaker 2: asking how I could betray him. He told me that

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Speaker 2: I turned my back on him, and he called Mary

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Speaker 2: a witch. I reminded him that I was bisexual and

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Speaker 2: assured him that I wasn't leaving him. Our friends took

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Speaker 2: Steve's side and asked me why I started dating a woman.

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Speaker 2: They agreed with Steve that Mary bewitched to me. Oh wow,

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Speaker 2: you know, apparently that's a thing. I left our flat

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Speaker 2: and when I came back later, Steve refused to talk

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Speaker 2: to me and told me that he wouldn't talk to

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Speaker 2: me as long as I was in a relationship with Mary.

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Speaker 2: I hope that this would blow over, but Steve refuses

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Speaker 2: to talk to me. A month later, a month long

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Speaker 2: silent treatment. Who I really like Mary and I don't

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Speaker 2: want to end our relationship, but Steve needs my support

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Speaker 2: and nobody back home knows anything about us being queer.

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Speaker 2: We would most probably be disowned if they found out.

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Speaker 2: How do I handle this situation? We got to edit.

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Speaker 2: I don't want to leave him because he has nobody

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Speaker 2: else to support him when he comes out to his family.

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Speaker 2: I'm sure that it'll be ugly, and I want to

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Speaker 2: be there for him when it happens. Yeah, but he's

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00:15:06,960 --> 00:15:09,520
Speaker 2: not really giving you the opportunity to do so by

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Speaker 2: saying that bisexuality is a trick invented by women to

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Speaker 2: bewitch gay men back to being straight, which is insane.

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Speaker 2: That's an insane thing to think. Well, it's always the women. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I'm a stand on that being bisexual is real.

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Speaker 1: He probably wanted to come out with you. That's why

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Speaker 1: he's upset. He's like, you're gonna be right there with me,

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Speaker 1: and you were gonna be my gay lover, and I

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Speaker 1: can't do that.

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Speaker 2: Now my plan is gone. He can still come out

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Speaker 2: with you.

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Speaker 1: He's bisexual, and it does think that Steve doesn't have

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Speaker 1: anyone else to kind of support him, and I think

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Speaker 1: he's disappointed.

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Speaker 2: I think he just low key wanted to date Ope.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, he's just mad that he can't date Opee

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Speaker 2: because he's got a girlfriend now. It really is not

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Speaker 2: very cool vibes from Steve. All Right, we have an update.

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Speaker 2: After I posted on Reddit, I decided to tell Mary

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Speaker 2: about Steve not talking to me. She was extremely supportive

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Speaker 2: and told me that she'd support me and anything I

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Speaker 2: decided to do. Some people ask if Mary knew about

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Speaker 2: my gay relationships. I told her about my earlier relationships

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Speaker 2: and me being bisexual in our first date, and she

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00:16:04,040 --> 00:16:06,800
Speaker 2: was okay with it. I did not know by phobia

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00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:09,360
Speaker 2: was a thing until the comments told me about it yesterday.

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00:16:09,440 --> 00:16:12,840
Speaker 2: I assumed that everybody in the LGBT community supported each other,

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Speaker 2: and I thought I was doing something wrong. As many

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Speaker 2: people suggested, I decided to cut off my toxic friend circle.

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Speaker 2: Nice and I won't be talking to them in the future. Nice,

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Speaker 2: good job, Ope, I fully support that. A comment about

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00:16:24,720 --> 00:16:27,640
Speaker 2: the relationship between Steve and I being codependent made me

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Speaker 2: rethink our friendship. I didn't even think about that, but yeah,

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Speaker 2: that codependency could be a real thing. There. I realized

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Speaker 2: that we were depending on each other too much. We

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00:16:36,160 --> 00:16:38,960
Speaker 2: were the only connection to home left for each other,

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Speaker 2: and this made us way too dependent on each other.

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Speaker 2: I felt like we just needed some space from each other.

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Speaker 2: I decided to move out, and when I told Steve

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Speaker 2: about this, he started crying and begged me not to leave.

377
00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:50,560
Speaker 2: He said he would talk to me and that he

378
00:16:50,600 --> 00:16:53,400
Speaker 2: would tolerate Mary, and I told him that we were

379
00:16:53,440 --> 00:16:56,040
Speaker 2: just being codependent, and he wouldn't need to tolerate me

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Speaker 2: if he didn't like my choices. I told him that

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Speaker 2: I would be there for him when he decides to

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Speaker 2: come out, and that he could always count on my support.

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00:17:03,720 --> 00:17:06,399
Speaker 2: Steve kept crying, but I told him my decision was final.

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Speaker 2: Good job, Ope, you made a decision. You're putting a boundary.

385
00:17:09,400 --> 00:17:11,400
Speaker 2: You're standing on business. I went back to my room,

386
00:17:11,520 --> 00:17:15,040
Speaker 2: called Mary and started crying and again, sometimes standing on

387
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Speaker 2: business is hard. I did not want to leave my

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Speaker 2: friend alone. She listened to what I had to say

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00:17:19,040 --> 00:17:20,919
Speaker 2: and reassured me I had to look for a new

390
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Speaker 2: place to live. But Mary called me a few hours

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Speaker 2: later and told me that one of her friends has

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Speaker 2: a room and then I could move in with him.

393
00:17:27,040 --> 00:17:29,480
Speaker 2: I thanked her for her help. W Mary, let's go

394
00:17:29,520 --> 00:17:32,040
Speaker 2: a good girl friend. Good job Mary. Steve's friends started

395
00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:35,119
Speaker 2: calling and yelling at me for abandoning them for a girl.

396
00:17:35,359 --> 00:17:37,520
Speaker 2: They accused me of being a bad friend and accused

397
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Speaker 2: Mary of breaking up our friendship. When I called Mary later,

398
00:17:40,400 --> 00:17:42,280
Speaker 2: she told me that my friends were calling her and

399
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Speaker 2: shouting at her for breaking up my friendships. I apologized,

400
00:17:46,280 --> 00:17:48,480
Speaker 2: but she was very understanding and told me that she

401
00:17:48,480 --> 00:17:50,200
Speaker 2: would be there for me if I needed her. Hearing

402
00:17:50,240 --> 00:17:54,280
Speaker 2: hearsay that made me feel better. Yeah, Mary, Hey, big

403
00:17:54,560 --> 00:17:57,199
Speaker 2: W for Mary. That's another W for Mary, And you

404
00:17:57,240 --> 00:17:59,280
Speaker 2: know it's another W for you is if you join

405
00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:02,840
Speaker 2: us live on YouTube every weekday at three PMPST just

406
00:18:02,880 --> 00:18:05,280
Speaker 2: tap our profile. So we do have a little bit left.

407
00:18:05,440 --> 00:18:08,000
Speaker 2: I think, honestly, you've had a root awakening that I

408
00:18:08,040 --> 00:18:10,720
Speaker 2: guess biphobia is a thing in the gay community. You know,

409
00:18:10,920 --> 00:18:12,840
Speaker 2: I think you're making the right call here. You've done

410
00:18:12,840 --> 00:18:15,160
Speaker 2: it in a way that I think as the highest

411
00:18:15,320 --> 00:18:19,960
Speaker 2: likelihood of maintaining a positive relationship with Steve. Yeah, forget

412
00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:22,280
Speaker 2: all those other people that you guys know, they're not important.

413
00:18:22,280 --> 00:18:24,440
Speaker 2: What's important is that this guy that you've had a

414
00:18:24,480 --> 00:18:27,680
Speaker 2: friendship and a relationship with your entire life. Essentially, it's

415
00:18:27,680 --> 00:18:30,159
Speaker 2: still maintained. You don't want to lose that. And you know,

416
00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:31,360
Speaker 2: it's a confusing time.

417
00:18:31,359 --> 00:18:33,800
Speaker 1: They'll probably come around. Yeah, you know, they'll probably like, hey,

418
00:18:33,920 --> 00:18:36,639
Speaker 1: I understand the way I treated you. They might apologize

419
00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:38,560
Speaker 1: one day, and I hope, hope you were open to

420
00:18:38,600 --> 00:18:40,240
Speaker 1: that if they apologize.

421
00:18:39,760 --> 00:18:41,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, I would hope. So it's a lot to go

422
00:18:41,960 --> 00:18:44,639
Speaker 2: from being like closeted not even knowing you're gay, to

423
00:18:44,680 --> 00:18:46,280
Speaker 2: moving to a big city with your best friend and

424
00:18:46,280 --> 00:18:48,040
Speaker 2: then both of you are like, oh, I'm gay. That's

425
00:18:48,040 --> 00:18:51,160
Speaker 2: a lot to digest, like in a brief period of time,

426
00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:54,040
Speaker 2: for sure. So it's going to continue to develop. I'm

427
00:18:54,080 --> 00:18:56,760
Speaker 2: moving out, putting some distance between Steve and I and

428
00:18:56,800 --> 00:19:00,159
Speaker 2: blocking my earlier friends. Soor deal has made me understand

429
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Speaker 2: that I made the right decision by sticking with Mary,

430
00:19:02,840 --> 00:19:05,520
Speaker 2: and I appreciate her way more now. A lot of

431
00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:08,000
Speaker 2: you mentioned that Steve might have feelings for me. I've

432
00:19:08,040 --> 00:19:09,720
Speaker 2: only ever thought of him as a friend, and I

433
00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:12,080
Speaker 2: might have given it a shot before, but now I'm

434
00:19:12,119 --> 00:19:14,280
Speaker 2: afraid of a romantic relationship with him. Thank you to

435
00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:16,040
Speaker 2: all the people who gave me advice and to help

436
00:19:16,119 --> 00:19:18,679
Speaker 2: me decide. I think that's a pretty accurate statement. You

437
00:19:18,720 --> 00:19:21,199
Speaker 2: do not want a relationship with Steve that would go

438
00:19:21,520 --> 00:19:24,960
Speaker 2: full blown nuclear at the drop of a hat. Oh yeah, yeah,

439
00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:27,040
Speaker 2: I think they're right too. I think it's clear that Steve,

440
00:19:27,080 --> 00:19:29,600
Speaker 2: maybe I've said some feelings for you, so but you know,

441
00:19:29,840 --> 00:19:33,080
Speaker 2: time will heal all wounds. Hopefully. Good job standing on business.

442
00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:36,760
Speaker 1: My entitled best friend keeps ruining my birthday. I'm sick

443
00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:37,520
Speaker 1: of her attitude.

444
00:19:37,600 --> 00:19:38,280
Speaker 2: I would be too.

445
00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:41,080
Speaker 1: I think this is going to be a very long story,

446
00:19:41,119 --> 00:19:44,280
Speaker 1: but I'll try to make it a very long short story.

447
00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:47,240
Speaker 1: My boyfriend twenty two melt through a surprise birthday dinner

448
00:19:47,240 --> 00:19:50,959
Speaker 1: for me, twenty two female, last year. He invited a

449
00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:53,760
Speaker 1: few close friends of mine, and obviously my best friend

450
00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:56,280
Speaker 1: twenty two female was invited too. He chose a pretty

451
00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:59,359
Speaker 1: decently prized restaurant. I was surprised. I had a bust.

452
00:19:59,480 --> 00:20:01,840
Speaker 1: We had a eight time, or so, I thought.

453
00:20:01,960 --> 00:20:03,200
Speaker 2: The plot thickins.

454
00:20:03,640 --> 00:20:06,960
Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from Fuzzy Newdy branch on

455
00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:09,200
Speaker 1: the r slash Okay story time subrad it. So the

456
00:20:09,240 --> 00:20:11,040
Speaker 1: next day, I was talking to my best friend about

457
00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:14,280
Speaker 1: planning my boyfriend's birthday dinner. His birthday is like two

458
00:20:14,280 --> 00:20:17,160
Speaker 1: weeks apart from mine, five days apart from my girlfriends.

459
00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:21,240
Speaker 1: That's when I found out that she was actually upset

460
00:20:21,280 --> 00:20:23,520
Speaker 1: with my boyfriend because she had to pay for her

461
00:20:23,600 --> 00:20:26,520
Speaker 1: own meal during the dinner. She said, he invited us

462
00:20:26,680 --> 00:20:30,359
Speaker 1: to your birthday surprise, so he should have paid for

463
00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:34,520
Speaker 1: everyone's meal. You guys are already working anyways, Well, I'm studying.

464
00:20:34,880 --> 00:20:38,200
Speaker 1: You guys should have the money to spend the audacity

465
00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:40,480
Speaker 1: that he didn't spend the money on us.

466
00:20:40,760 --> 00:20:44,080
Speaker 2: Why didn't he pay for us? Men should always pay, Yeah,

467
00:20:44,280 --> 00:20:45,800
Speaker 2: And I've always said that I.

468
00:20:45,760 --> 00:20:47,760
Speaker 1: Do agree with that that men should pay on the dates.

469
00:20:47,800 --> 00:20:49,680
Speaker 2: I think that it needs to just be a conversation,

470
00:20:49,920 --> 00:20:50,880
Speaker 2: and I've always said that.

471
00:20:50,920 --> 00:20:53,560
Speaker 1: So I'm old school, old school gentleman. My girlfriend's friend

472
00:20:53,560 --> 00:20:55,240
Speaker 1: paid for their meal. I took them all out to

473
00:20:55,280 --> 00:20:57,200
Speaker 1: this place, and they paid for their own meals, which

474
00:20:57,200 --> 00:20:59,399
Speaker 1: I'm very happy for. Thank you, Emma and Julia for

475
00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:01,040
Speaker 1: being so great. You guys are also cool.

476
00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:01,400
Speaker 2: Yeah.

477
00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:03,200
Speaker 1: Also, it's his birthday and we're gonna go out for

478
00:21:03,240 --> 00:21:05,800
Speaker 1: a meal soon, so uh oh, happy birthday surprise. I

479
00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:09,200
Speaker 1: was speechless. Technically, we are working, but we just started

480
00:21:09,240 --> 00:21:11,840
Speaker 1: working right out of university. We both got a decent

481
00:21:11,880 --> 00:21:15,760
Speaker 1: salary above minimum wage, and we just entered adult team,

482
00:21:15,840 --> 00:21:18,359
Speaker 1: talking over our phone bills, helping our parents out with

483
00:21:18,400 --> 00:21:21,480
Speaker 1: house bills because we still with our respective parents. We

484
00:21:21,560 --> 00:21:23,760
Speaker 1: are saving up to get married, et cetera. They are

485
00:21:23,800 --> 00:21:26,480
Speaker 1: handling business. She was the only one who had a

486
00:21:26,520 --> 00:21:30,240
Speaker 1: problem paying for her own meal. Everyone else were either

487
00:21:30,359 --> 00:21:33,080
Speaker 1: like me, who just got a job or like her

488
00:21:33,280 --> 00:21:36,399
Speaker 1: on their last semester of UNI. She went on and

489
00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:39,439
Speaker 1: on up to me about how a host to a

490
00:21:39,480 --> 00:21:43,200
Speaker 1: birthday party like that should pay for everyone's meal, because

491
00:21:43,240 --> 00:21:45,879
Speaker 1: that's just how it is. She didn't say any of

492
00:21:45,920 --> 00:21:48,280
Speaker 1: this to my boyfriend, though, so in the end, she

493
00:21:48,440 --> 00:21:50,879
Speaker 1: did pay for her own meal, but she wasn't happy

494
00:21:50,880 --> 00:21:53,200
Speaker 1: about it. Then she said to me, I hope you're

495
00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:56,439
Speaker 1: paying for everyone's meal on your birthday's dinner. It's not

496
00:21:56,680 --> 00:21:58,760
Speaker 1: nice to invite us and force us to pay for

497
00:21:58,800 --> 00:22:02,320
Speaker 1: our own meal when we're celebrating your boyfriend. I didn't

498
00:22:02,359 --> 00:22:04,439
Speaker 1: know how to react. I just said, sure, I'll pay.

499
00:22:04,600 --> 00:22:06,800
Speaker 1: I was just in shock and was thinking more of

500
00:22:06,840 --> 00:22:09,600
Speaker 1: my boyfriend's happiness to see all of his close friends

501
00:22:09,640 --> 00:22:12,359
Speaker 1: there to celebrate with him. We had his birthday dinner

502
00:22:12,400 --> 00:22:14,760
Speaker 1: with a few close friends because I couldna pay for

503
00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:15,679
Speaker 1: more than eight people.

504
00:22:15,760 --> 00:22:16,000
Speaker 3: Oh.

505
00:22:16,040 --> 00:22:18,760
Speaker 1: He was surprised and at a wonderful time and was

506
00:22:18,800 --> 00:22:21,920
Speaker 1: so appreciative. Fast forward to this year, We're getting close

507
00:22:22,040 --> 00:22:24,360
Speaker 1: to my birthday, so I told my boyfriend what had

508
00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:27,280
Speaker 1: happened last year about this whole who should be paying thing.

509
00:22:27,359 --> 00:22:28,120
Speaker 2: He was kind of hurt.

510
00:22:28,160 --> 00:22:30,200
Speaker 1: What my best friend said and told me he didn't

511
00:22:30,280 --> 00:22:32,879
Speaker 1: know how it was supposed to be and he felt

512
00:22:32,920 --> 00:22:35,560
Speaker 1: really crappy about not being able to pay for everyone.

513
00:22:35,680 --> 00:22:38,400
Speaker 1: I told him I don't expect that from him for everyone,

514
00:22:38,480 --> 00:22:40,879
Speaker 1: because we aren't rich yet to be able to do so.

515
00:22:41,320 --> 00:22:43,639
Speaker 2: No, that's not a thing. You don't go to a

516
00:22:43,680 --> 00:22:46,719
Speaker 2: birthday dinner and just expecting everything to be paid for

517
00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:49,440
Speaker 2: you because it's not your birthday. Like what.

518
00:22:49,800 --> 00:22:51,960
Speaker 1: I had a freaking brunch on my birthday last year

519
00:22:52,240 --> 00:22:53,639
Speaker 1: and I had to pay for my own brunch.

520
00:22:53,840 --> 00:22:56,359
Speaker 2: And that's the world of being an adult. Baby. Ain't

521
00:22:56,400 --> 00:23:00,480
Speaker 2: nobody gonna pay for your birthday brunch but you unless

522
00:23:00,520 --> 00:23:00,919
Speaker 2: you you know.

523
00:23:01,040 --> 00:23:03,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, they were okay, friends, I said. Because of this,

524
00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:06,159
Speaker 1: I just want the two of us for my birthday

525
00:23:06,200 --> 00:23:08,520
Speaker 1: dinner this year. No friends, so you won't have to

526
00:23:08,560 --> 00:23:09,720
Speaker 1: pay for everyone, just.

527
00:23:09,720 --> 00:23:11,560
Speaker 2: You and me. He agree, and that was that.

528
00:23:11,840 --> 00:23:13,879
Speaker 1: A week later, my best friend texted my boyfriend to

529
00:23:13,920 --> 00:23:16,200
Speaker 1: ask what his friends are for my birthday this year.

530
00:23:16,280 --> 00:23:18,879
Speaker 1: He told her my wishes, but she was not having

531
00:23:18,880 --> 00:23:20,880
Speaker 1: it and insisted that she wanted to be a part

532
00:23:20,960 --> 00:23:22,639
Speaker 1: of the birthday and celebrate together.

533
00:23:22,720 --> 00:23:23,960
Speaker 2: He told her that I was.

534
00:23:23,960 --> 00:23:26,359
Speaker 1: The one who wanted just the two of us dinner,

535
00:23:26,720 --> 00:23:29,000
Speaker 1: and she said that was very boring of us. She

536
00:23:29,160 --> 00:23:31,800
Speaker 1: was hurt by this. I feel bad. I love her,

537
00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:34,720
Speaker 1: we've been friends since we were sixteen. But also, it's

538
00:23:34,760 --> 00:23:36,639
Speaker 1: my birthday. Don't I get to say on how I

539
00:23:36,680 --> 00:23:38,200
Speaker 1: want to spend it? So am I the a hole

540
00:23:38,240 --> 00:23:40,199
Speaker 1: for not wanting her at my birthday party? Or is

541
00:23:40,240 --> 00:23:42,480
Speaker 1: my boyfriend the a hole for not paying for everyone's meal?

542
00:23:42,640 --> 00:23:44,360
Speaker 1: We have an edit. I'm going to read the edit

543
00:23:44,359 --> 00:23:46,760
Speaker 1: real quork edit. Thank you for everyone commenting your thoughts

544
00:23:46,760 --> 00:23:50,120
Speaker 1: and suggestions. Here's a little update. My boyfriend did clarify

545
00:23:50,160 --> 00:23:52,359
Speaker 1: to everyone that they were paying for their own meal

546
00:23:52,520 --> 00:23:54,960
Speaker 1: and drinks while he pays for his own and mind

547
00:23:55,040 --> 00:23:57,960
Speaker 1: my birthday dinner happened, oh boy, so he clarified. He

548
00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:00,760
Speaker 1: went back and said, Hey, this is what's gonna happen.

549
00:24:00,760 --> 00:24:03,239
Speaker 1: Everyone's gonna pay for their meal. He communicated clearly. I

550
00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:04,359
Speaker 1: think that's fair.

551
00:24:04,480 --> 00:24:07,280
Speaker 2: I mean, I think it's ridiculous for like grown adults

552
00:24:07,400 --> 00:24:10,480
Speaker 2: to not even just well, she's a stood in Uni. Okay,

553
00:24:10,640 --> 00:24:14,040
Speaker 2: never mind, that actually makes a lot more sense now.

554
00:24:14,240 --> 00:24:16,439
Speaker 2: She was last year, but I don't think she's this year. No,

555
00:24:16,520 --> 00:24:18,280
Speaker 2: but It's like it's still at the age where like

556
00:24:18,320 --> 00:24:19,600
Speaker 2: people could realistically be.

557
00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:22,000
Speaker 1: Like, well, I mean, dude, even in college, I would

558
00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:23,040
Speaker 1: never ask my friends.

559
00:24:22,840 --> 00:24:25,040
Speaker 2: To do that. Can you assume someone's gonna pay for

560
00:24:25,080 --> 00:24:27,560
Speaker 2: all your stuff because you're gonna go to their birthday dinner?

561
00:24:27,600 --> 00:24:29,439
Speaker 1: I'm assuming this is just a hot girl and she's like,

562
00:24:29,480 --> 00:24:30,520
Speaker 1: I think everyone should.

563
00:24:30,240 --> 00:24:33,520
Speaker 2: Pay for me. Whoever thought that clearly is very entitled.

564
00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:36,800
Speaker 2: Also hate me in the camelments. Hate me. I'm ready

565
00:24:36,840 --> 00:24:38,359
Speaker 2: for it, Come and find me. I don't even know

566
00:24:38,400 --> 00:24:40,080
Speaker 2: how people get hate you for that. It's like they're

567
00:24:40,320 --> 00:24:42,960
Speaker 2: clearly entitled as hell. You'd be surprised.

568
00:24:43,200 --> 00:24:46,359
Speaker 1: Update alrighty, so my now twenty three female because new

569
00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:48,879
Speaker 1: year boyfriend twenty three female is taking me out for

570
00:24:48,960 --> 00:24:52,480
Speaker 1: my birthday again this year. Well, there were some complications

571
00:24:52,480 --> 00:24:54,480
Speaker 1: with that transport. He could have picked me up because

572
00:24:54,560 --> 00:24:57,280
Speaker 1: reasons I'm too lazy to explain. Tony me could take

573
00:24:57,280 --> 00:25:00,280
Speaker 1: a grab. It's like uber, but he doesn't. I like

574
00:25:00,440 --> 00:25:02,399
Speaker 1: that idea because I'm not used to it since I

575
00:25:02,440 --> 00:25:05,359
Speaker 1: always drive everywhere. I couldn't drive because my car was

576
00:25:05,359 --> 00:25:07,560
Speaker 1: in the workshop. So he told me that tomorrow my

577
00:25:07,600 --> 00:25:09,719
Speaker 1: best friend twenty three female is picking me up and

578
00:25:09,800 --> 00:25:12,480
Speaker 1: in sending me to the restaurant, and she was passing

579
00:25:12,480 --> 00:25:15,400
Speaker 1: by in that area on her way to her aunt's place. Now,

580
00:25:15,440 --> 00:25:17,879
Speaker 1: I know what y'all are thinking, but sometimes I'm naive

581
00:25:18,240 --> 00:25:20,919
Speaker 1: and didn't think much of things. I genuinely thought it

582
00:25:20,960 --> 00:25:22,800
Speaker 1: was just gonna be a drop off. This is a surprise

583
00:25:22,840 --> 00:25:25,560
Speaker 1: birthday that's happening. The day arives, she hasn't told me

584
00:25:25,600 --> 00:25:27,359
Speaker 1: she's picking me up, and I'm like, okay, I'll get

585
00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:29,879
Speaker 1: ready by eight pm just the case. I was getting

586
00:25:29,880 --> 00:25:31,960
Speaker 1: ready and she calls me at six pm, sobbing because

587
00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:34,560
Speaker 1: she had a fight with her boyfriend twenty four mail.

588
00:25:34,640 --> 00:25:36,800
Speaker 1: I listened to comfort her, and while we talked, I

589
00:25:36,880 --> 00:25:39,040
Speaker 1: was still doing my makeup. The sobbing ends, and she

590
00:25:39,160 --> 00:25:41,640
Speaker 1: still hasn't told me she's picking me up. So I asked,

591
00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:43,439
Speaker 1: by the way, are you picking me up? My boyfriend

592
00:25:43,480 --> 00:25:46,080
Speaker 1: said you are? She was, oh, yeah, I am forgot

593
00:25:46,119 --> 00:25:47,720
Speaker 1: to let you know. Let me get ready. Now it's

594
00:25:47,800 --> 00:25:48,680
Speaker 1: now seven pm.

595
00:25:48,720 --> 00:25:49,240
Speaker 2: I'm ready.

596
00:25:49,359 --> 00:25:51,680
Speaker 1: She comes at seven fifteen. I get in her car

597
00:25:51,800 --> 00:25:53,880
Speaker 1: and she is in a screaming match.

598
00:25:53,640 --> 00:25:54,400
Speaker 2: With her boyfriend.

599
00:25:54,640 --> 00:25:57,680
Speaker 1: The call ends and she says he wants to see

600
00:25:57,720 --> 00:26:00,960
Speaker 1: me should I me. Not knowing him to say, I said,

601
00:26:01,400 --> 00:26:03,800
Speaker 1: I don't know what could happen if you don't. But

602
00:26:03,880 --> 00:26:06,280
Speaker 1: in my head I was like, man, can you do

603
00:26:06,359 --> 00:26:09,480
Speaker 1: this after you drop me off? She stays silent. Her

604
00:26:09,480 --> 00:26:12,320
Speaker 1: boyfriend keeps calling, she keeps dodging his calls, and I'm like,

605
00:26:12,480 --> 00:26:15,560
Speaker 1: question mark. We reach a fork in the road, left,

606
00:26:15,760 --> 00:26:17,919
Speaker 1: continue on her journey to drop me off. Go to

607
00:26:17,960 --> 00:26:21,359
Speaker 1: her boyfriend's place. Y'all guess where we're We went right,

608
00:26:21,720 --> 00:26:24,399
Speaker 1: I was like, smiling, I'm fine, I'm fine. Anyway, she

609
00:26:24,480 --> 00:26:27,160
Speaker 1: goes to see your boyfriend is seven thirty. They talk

610
00:26:27,240 --> 00:26:30,320
Speaker 1: at his porch. It's now seven fifty five pm. Going

611
00:26:30,359 --> 00:26:32,560
Speaker 1: to drop her off. She's at her boyfriend's doing this.

612
00:26:32,720 --> 00:26:34,119
Speaker 1: I got out of the car and said, so, are

613
00:26:34,160 --> 00:26:36,520
Speaker 1: y'all done? Because I got somewhere to be. Can y'all

614
00:26:36,560 --> 00:26:38,280
Speaker 1: just take a grab if y'all want to continue? Her

615
00:26:38,280 --> 00:26:40,280
Speaker 1: boyfriend said they're done. I sat back in the car

616
00:26:40,400 --> 00:26:42,520
Speaker 1: waited for her to drive off. I wrap at my dinner.

617
00:26:42,720 --> 00:26:45,439
Speaker 1: It's now eight twenty pm. I see my boyfriend with

618
00:26:45,480 --> 00:26:48,679
Speaker 1: the biggest, guiltiest smile ever, and my closest friends beside

619
00:26:48,760 --> 00:26:52,399
Speaker 1: him smiling and shouted surprise. I didn't expect that, but

620
00:26:52,560 --> 00:26:54,520
Speaker 1: I thought I was really happy for a second, and

621
00:26:54,520 --> 00:26:57,439
Speaker 1: then I thought, man, that means my best friend is

622
00:26:57,520 --> 00:27:00,320
Speaker 1: probably gonna be here too. I sat down and ask

623
00:27:00,600 --> 00:27:02,960
Speaker 1: my friends what time did you guys arrive? They said,

624
00:27:03,040 --> 00:27:05,680
Speaker 1: we were here since seven pm. When I tell you,

625
00:27:05,760 --> 00:27:11,000
Speaker 1: I became so infuriated. That meant my best friend picked

626
00:27:11,040 --> 00:27:14,239
Speaker 1: me up when we were already late and had the

627
00:27:14,359 --> 00:27:18,720
Speaker 1: audacity to see her boyfriend to reconcile their relationship, to

628
00:27:18,800 --> 00:27:21,800
Speaker 1: make things worth Her boyfriend also knew about my surprise

629
00:27:21,840 --> 00:27:22,440
Speaker 1: birthday dinner.

630
00:27:22,440 --> 00:27:23,080
Speaker 2: They both knew.

631
00:27:23,119 --> 00:27:24,960
Speaker 1: But you know, you can join us live every weekday

632
00:27:24,960 --> 00:27:26,840
Speaker 1: at three PMPSD just tamper profile.

633
00:27:26,880 --> 00:27:29,359
Speaker 2: We got a little bit more. What the I think.

634
00:27:29,400 --> 00:27:32,880
Speaker 2: What no one's really I'm talking about or realizing right now,

635
00:27:33,080 --> 00:27:36,399
Speaker 2: is that she's actually the main character. Yes, they actually

636
00:27:36,440 --> 00:27:39,280
Speaker 2: both are the main characters, which is why very selfishly

637
00:27:39,560 --> 00:27:43,160
Speaker 2: just like ruined the surprise dinner and made everybody wait

638
00:27:43,200 --> 00:27:45,159
Speaker 2: an hour and a half for them, because their problems

639
00:27:45,160 --> 00:27:47,440
Speaker 2: are more important than everyone else. Of course, oh my gosh,

640
00:27:47,480 --> 00:27:49,919
Speaker 2: their problems are bigger than everyone's else. He forgot, you

641
00:27:50,000 --> 00:27:53,720
Speaker 2: all forgot. But we're all just side characters in their story.

642
00:27:53,840 --> 00:27:57,720
Speaker 1: Dude, that is so yeah, so I would know contact

643
00:27:57,720 --> 00:27:58,160
Speaker 1: after that.

644
00:27:58,280 --> 00:28:00,160
Speaker 2: Oh no, that's getting cut out of the friend group

645
00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:02,080
Speaker 2: stuff where it's like if you're willing to just like

646
00:28:02,200 --> 00:28:07,280
Speaker 2: do that and like literally inconvenience every single person, zero consideration,

647
00:28:07,320 --> 00:28:10,000
Speaker 2: where you could just have that conversation at any other point, Yes,

648
00:28:10,359 --> 00:28:12,880
Speaker 2: right after drop off, go have the conversation, any other

649
00:28:12,920 --> 00:28:15,360
Speaker 2: time you could have had that conversation. Just selfishness.

650
00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:19,359
Speaker 1: I shoved the anger towards my BFF during dinner and

651
00:28:19,480 --> 00:28:21,800
Speaker 1: enjoyed the time I had with my other friends and boyfriend.

652
00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:24,040
Speaker 1: I had a good time. And since my boyfriend and

653
00:28:24,080 --> 00:28:27,840
Speaker 1: I got an increment from performing well at work last year,

654
00:28:28,040 --> 00:28:30,480
Speaker 1: he could afford to pay for everyone's meal at this time.

655
00:28:30,720 --> 00:28:33,000
Speaker 1: He did it willingly, or that's what he told me.

656
00:28:33,280 --> 00:28:36,439
Speaker 1: So BFF shut up about that. BFF and her boyfriend

657
00:28:36,440 --> 00:28:39,720
Speaker 1: did apologize to me for possibly ruining my birthday surprise,

658
00:28:40,120 --> 00:28:42,440
Speaker 1: but I'm ignoring their messages from now because I'm too

659
00:28:42,480 --> 00:28:45,600
Speaker 1: angry to reply. I would cool down before I replied

660
00:28:45,680 --> 00:28:49,160
Speaker 1: to tell them nicely that they did partially ruin my day.

661
00:28:49,240 --> 00:28:51,640
Speaker 1: Just send this and all the other relevant comments. Do this,

662
00:28:51,800 --> 00:28:52,760
Speaker 1: But that's the end story.

663
00:28:52,840 --> 00:28:55,640
Speaker 2: Good job on you realizing I shouldn't send this right now.

664
00:28:55,840 --> 00:28:58,960
Speaker 2: I'll wait cuz sometimes you send things in the moment.

665
00:28:59,000 --> 00:29:00,960
Speaker 2: They get a little hot, they get a little heated,

666
00:29:00,960 --> 00:29:03,600
Speaker 2: they're a little spicy, very spicy. You might want to

667
00:29:03,640 --> 00:29:06,160
Speaker 2: not hit them with the Cayam pepper right off the bat.

668
00:29:06,320 --> 00:29:08,040
Speaker 1: Yep, saw them up with some garlic.

669
00:29:08,240 --> 00:29:10,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, good on you for realizing you need to take

670
00:29:10,480 --> 00:29:12,960
Speaker 2: some time. But yeah, sorry that happened. Yeah those Sorry,

671
00:29:13,000 --> 00:29:15,320
Speaker 2: he had so many snaffoos with that person. But I'm

672
00:29:15,320 --> 00:29:16,920
Speaker 2: glad that they're no longer a part of your life,

673
00:29:17,040 --> 00:29:18,920
Speaker 2: or I hope they're not. And that is it. My

674
00:29:19,120 --> 00:29:23,120
Speaker 2: brother and I have always fought, but now his reactions

675
00:29:23,160 --> 00:29:26,280
Speaker 2: are so extreme that I'm worried about him.

676
00:29:26,320 --> 00:29:28,080
Speaker 3: I was gonna take something. Really, There's like nothing witty

677
00:29:28,120 --> 00:29:29,800
Speaker 3: there that was just like, that's a serious We.

678
00:29:29,800 --> 00:29:32,840
Speaker 2: Are all worried. Me Male twenty three and my brother

679
00:29:32,920 --> 00:29:35,440
Speaker 2: mal twenty have been fighting for as long as I

680
00:29:35,480 --> 00:29:38,320
Speaker 2: can remember, but I'm starting to worry about his situation.

681
00:29:38,880 --> 00:29:41,600
Speaker 2: I believe he's going crazy. By the way, This comes

682
00:29:41,600 --> 00:29:45,000
Speaker 2: from user Historical Industry seventy seven on the r slash

683
00:29:45,040 --> 00:29:50,600
Speaker 2: Okay storytime subreddit. So context, my brother neither works nor studies.

684
00:29:50,760 --> 00:29:54,240
Speaker 2: He completed his high school's final year online by choice,

685
00:29:54,640 --> 00:29:57,880
Speaker 2: saying he would study for the university entrance exam, but

686
00:29:57,960 --> 00:30:01,560
Speaker 2: he didn't. Instead, he just played online games all day

687
00:30:01,640 --> 00:30:04,480
Speaker 2: and night. Up until this year, that's all he did.

688
00:30:04,680 --> 00:30:07,320
Speaker 2: Now he just browses YouTube all day as far as

689
00:30:07,360 --> 00:30:10,160
Speaker 2: I know. Here are the latest three instances since I

690
00:30:10,280 --> 00:30:13,320
Speaker 2: returned to the country. Instance one, I came back from

691
00:30:13,320 --> 00:30:16,560
Speaker 2: my six month exchange program abroad. We spent two weeks

692
00:30:16,600 --> 00:30:19,840
Speaker 2: together as a family on holiday, and nothing bad happened.

693
00:30:20,120 --> 00:30:24,080
Speaker 2: On the way back home, my brother constantly harassed and

694
00:30:24,240 --> 00:30:27,400
Speaker 2: humiliated my mom because she didn't know how to control

695
00:30:27,480 --> 00:30:30,880
Speaker 2: her new car's smart panel, like the radio and all

696
00:30:30,880 --> 00:30:32,200
Speaker 2: that thing. You know, it's not if you used a car.

697
00:30:32,240 --> 00:30:33,400
Speaker 2: It's just like a new car and there's a lot

698
00:30:33,440 --> 00:30:37,520
Speaker 2: of technology with it. For the first time, I said, quote,

699
00:30:37,920 --> 00:30:40,360
Speaker 2: how can you speak to your mother like that? He

700
00:30:40,480 --> 00:30:44,120
Speaker 2: then went silent for one to two hours. Later, my

701
00:30:44,200 --> 00:30:46,640
Speaker 2: mom tried to figure out the radio again, and this

702
00:30:46,800 --> 00:30:50,120
Speaker 2: time my brother got even more furious. My mom couldn't

703
00:30:50,200 --> 00:30:53,840
Speaker 2: understand his instructions because she's not good with electronics, and

704
00:30:53,920 --> 00:30:58,560
Speaker 2: my brother being someone chronically online, gave commands that were

705
00:30:58,640 --> 00:31:02,080
Speaker 2: impossible for her to follow. The only thing I said

706
00:31:02,320 --> 00:31:05,000
Speaker 2: was your instructions are bad stures and pointing at me

707
00:31:05,680 --> 00:31:07,959
Speaker 2: like he was possessed, he punched his side of the

708
00:31:07,960 --> 00:31:12,640
Speaker 2: window full force. Thankfully nothing broke, and went even crazier

709
00:31:12,720 --> 00:31:16,160
Speaker 2: in his seat. The first thing my father did he

710
00:31:16,280 --> 00:31:19,480
Speaker 2: was driving the car was pull over and tell my

711
00:31:19,560 --> 00:31:22,520
Speaker 2: brother he could drive the car. This is how my

712
00:31:22,560 --> 00:31:25,840
Speaker 2: father's brain works. He gives candy to the crying baby.

713
00:31:26,360 --> 00:31:29,280
Speaker 2: More context. Every time my brother acts out, my parents

714
00:31:29,360 --> 00:31:32,280
Speaker 2: reward or enable his behavior to calm him down or

715
00:31:32,280 --> 00:31:35,080
Speaker 2: avoid dealing with the problem. They live their lives quietly

716
00:31:35,120 --> 00:31:38,400
Speaker 2: in a house where three people never leave their designated rooms.

717
00:31:38,560 --> 00:31:41,760
Speaker 2: Even then, my brother insults all of us as a family,

718
00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:47,400
Speaker 2: despite my parents enabling his lifestyle. Instance number two. After

719
00:31:47,440 --> 00:31:49,960
Speaker 2: a period of no contact between me and my brother,

720
00:31:50,120 --> 00:31:53,320
Speaker 2: even though we live in the same house, I felt

721
00:31:53,320 --> 00:31:56,000
Speaker 2: bad and decided to cheer him up. I told him

722
00:31:56,000 --> 00:31:58,520
Speaker 2: I found a server for an old MMO we used

723
00:31:58,520 --> 00:32:01,040
Speaker 2: to play as kids and asked if he wanted to play.

724
00:32:01,440 --> 00:32:04,360
Speaker 2: He said okay, and we spent some good time together,

725
00:32:04,520 --> 00:32:07,280
Speaker 2: acting like he hadn't behaved like he was possessed in

726
00:32:07,320 --> 00:32:10,720
Speaker 2: the car. In the game, he constantly tried to scam

727
00:32:10,920 --> 00:32:13,800
Speaker 2: or take advantage of people who were helping us because

728
00:32:14,280 --> 00:32:18,360
Speaker 2: we were newbies. He called them the r slur context.

729
00:32:18,440 --> 00:32:21,840
Speaker 2: I called my brother this countless times growing up, including

730
00:32:21,880 --> 00:32:23,800
Speaker 2: in our last fight, so I am partly to blame

731
00:32:23,800 --> 00:32:26,800
Speaker 2: for this. I got bored and quit playing the game,

732
00:32:27,040 --> 00:32:30,040
Speaker 2: but my brother kept playing. He progressed a lot further

733
00:32:30,080 --> 00:32:33,840
Speaker 2: and started joining player versus player lobbies. After a while,

734
00:32:33,920 --> 00:32:36,200
Speaker 2: he came to me and said he quit too. I

735
00:32:36,360 --> 00:32:39,320
Speaker 2: asked why, since he seemed to enjoy the game so much,

736
00:32:39,480 --> 00:32:41,880
Speaker 2: and he told me that his groups started kicking him

737
00:32:41,920 --> 00:32:44,680
Speaker 2: out because of his behavior towards other players.

738
00:32:44,840 --> 00:32:46,280
Speaker 3: Oh, I wonder why he's toxic?

739
00:32:46,480 --> 00:32:50,280
Speaker 2: Yeah hello, I said whatever, and we moved on to

740
00:32:50,360 --> 00:32:52,560
Speaker 2: playing League of Legends as a duo.

741
00:32:52,840 --> 00:32:53,600
Speaker 3: That's not good.

742
00:32:53,800 --> 00:32:56,080
Speaker 2: Picked a more toxic game to play.

743
00:32:56,440 --> 00:32:59,000
Speaker 3: Not the best choice. You knew that was gonna be

744
00:32:59,120 --> 00:32:59,920
Speaker 3: a bad time.

745
00:33:00,400 --> 00:33:01,120
Speaker 2: Let's keep going.

746
00:33:01,200 --> 00:33:03,120
Speaker 3: I don't want to keep going.

747
00:33:03,520 --> 00:33:05,240
Speaker 2: Let's ask League of Legends immediately.

748
00:33:05,400 --> 00:33:07,240
Speaker 3: I like, how we get legal Legends bought up a lot.

749
00:33:07,480 --> 00:33:10,800
Speaker 2: My brother was a very high ranked player before he

750
00:33:10,880 --> 00:33:14,719
Speaker 2: stopped gaming this year. Think like top zero point one percent.

751
00:33:14,800 --> 00:33:17,560
Speaker 2: We were playing together and it was supposed to be

752
00:33:18,240 --> 00:33:21,840
Speaker 2: just two brothers playing for fun, but he started dying

753
00:33:22,080 --> 00:33:25,760
Speaker 2: in a ranked game and falling behind. I told him

754
00:33:25,840 --> 00:33:27,959
Speaker 2: it was okay and we could still play together and

755
00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:31,760
Speaker 2: have fun and win. Instead, he acted like a mad dog,

756
00:33:31,960 --> 00:33:35,320
Speaker 2: breaking loose in the chat and arguing with teammates. His

757
00:33:35,440 --> 00:33:40,000
Speaker 2: insults shifted from you suck to a little more intense,

758
00:33:40,280 --> 00:33:43,600
Speaker 2: like you have no life and you're an animal. That's

759
00:33:43,680 --> 00:33:46,240
Speaker 2: when I started believing my brother has low self esteem

760
00:33:46,240 --> 00:33:47,760
Speaker 2: and projects it onto others.

761
00:33:47,920 --> 00:33:49,080
Speaker 3: Oh, you don't say.

762
00:33:49,120 --> 00:33:51,040
Speaker 2: We were kind of on that track a little earlier.

763
00:33:51,280 --> 00:33:54,120
Speaker 2: Let's continue instance number three. I was about to leave

764
00:33:54,120 --> 00:33:56,160
Speaker 2: the house to go to the gym when my mom

765
00:33:56,240 --> 00:33:59,080
Speaker 2: called me to help her connect an Ethernet cable to

766
00:33:59,200 --> 00:34:02,360
Speaker 2: her wall mounted TV. She couldn't find the port. I

767
00:34:02,440 --> 00:34:05,360
Speaker 2: checked it and couldn't find it either. I suggested using

768
00:34:05,400 --> 00:34:09,279
Speaker 2: my brother's Ethernet to USB adapter, which should work. She

769
00:34:09,400 --> 00:34:11,359
Speaker 2: called my brother, and as I stood by the door

770
00:34:11,400 --> 00:34:13,960
Speaker 2: ready to leave, my brother asked me to help take

771
00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:16,400
Speaker 2: the TV off the wall because he believed there was

772
00:34:16,440 --> 00:34:18,839
Speaker 2: an Ethernet port behind him. I told him I didn't

773
00:34:18,840 --> 00:34:22,360
Speaker 2: want to both verbally and physically. Because I was about

774
00:34:22,360 --> 00:34:26,360
Speaker 2: to leave for a kickboxing class, he insisted. I cussed

775
00:34:26,400 --> 00:34:29,000
Speaker 2: at him, he cussed at me, and eventually we laid

776
00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:31,280
Speaker 2: the TV flat and it turned out there was indeed

777
00:34:31,320 --> 00:34:34,480
Speaker 2: an ethernet port. My brother was right okay. He jumped

778
00:34:34,480 --> 00:34:39,640
Speaker 2: with joy, but quickly turned angry. Within seconds, he was screaming,

779
00:34:39,760 --> 00:34:43,080
Speaker 2: cussing at me and my mom, acting possessed. He screamed

780
00:34:43,120 --> 00:34:45,239
Speaker 2: his lungs out and then stormed off to his room.

781
00:34:45,560 --> 00:34:47,800
Speaker 2: We had no contact for three days.

782
00:34:47,920 --> 00:34:50,120
Speaker 3: I would have taken your brother to kickboxing class. I

783
00:34:50,120 --> 00:34:52,279
Speaker 3: think he's got some energy that he just needs to get.

784
00:34:52,400 --> 00:34:53,280
Speaker 2: He might need to release.

785
00:34:53,480 --> 00:34:54,279
Speaker 3: He need to release that in.

786
00:34:54,400 --> 00:34:56,760
Speaker 2: But it's like, to me, it sounds like the wires

787
00:34:56,760 --> 00:34:58,320
Speaker 2: are getting cross where. It's like it should have just

788
00:34:58,360 --> 00:35:00,360
Speaker 2: been a moment of like, hoh, see I was and

789
00:35:00,400 --> 00:35:03,440
Speaker 2: then it turned like, see I was right. Why didn't

790
00:35:03,440 --> 00:35:07,640
Speaker 2: you believe me? Yeah, it's like something there. There is

791
00:35:07,719 --> 00:35:08,400
Speaker 2: a therapy.

792
00:35:08,640 --> 00:35:13,320
Speaker 3: The therapy would deeply help, for sure, therapy, but also

793
00:35:13,800 --> 00:35:16,040
Speaker 3: exhuberate that energy into something positive.

794
00:35:16,080 --> 00:35:18,400
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, you need a hobby. You need discal activity.

795
00:35:18,400 --> 00:35:20,240
Speaker 2: That's not something out of the house sitting and playing

796
00:35:20,280 --> 00:35:22,000
Speaker 2: games are like screaming.

797
00:35:21,719 --> 00:35:25,200
Speaker 3: At people, being toxic. Just like just going to the gym,

798
00:35:25,280 --> 00:35:27,680
Speaker 3: go for a run, going for a run. It starts small,

799
00:35:27,760 --> 00:35:30,200
Speaker 3: It starts begins with small things. So trust me, it

800
00:35:30,239 --> 00:35:32,759
Speaker 3: helps that mental state so much. It makes you feel

801
00:35:32,760 --> 00:35:33,319
Speaker 3: so much better.

802
00:35:33,600 --> 00:35:36,640
Speaker 2: Indeed, now today I got injured at work, went to

803
00:35:36,680 --> 00:35:39,839
Speaker 2: the hospital and decided it was all stupid. I went

804
00:35:39,880 --> 00:35:43,359
Speaker 2: to my brother's cave to apologize for my behavior. Never

805
00:35:43,440 --> 00:35:46,320
Speaker 2: once in our fights has he apologized first. He doesn't

806
00:35:46,360 --> 00:35:50,640
Speaker 2: even apologize back when we both act stupid. I apologized.

807
00:35:51,000 --> 00:35:53,319
Speaker 2: His eyes turned red within seconds, and he told me

808
00:35:53,400 --> 00:35:56,919
Speaker 2: that all of us, the whole family, are dead to him.

809
00:35:57,440 --> 00:36:01,080
Speaker 3: Why after an apology like, hey, I'm I'm sorry, what

810
00:36:01,120 --> 00:36:04,759
Speaker 3: how things went? And then he blew up again, complete.

811
00:36:04,320 --> 00:36:07,279
Speaker 2: And total emotional dysregulation. I think you're worries about your

812
00:36:07,280 --> 00:36:10,320
Speaker 2: brother are not in value. No, I think your concern

813
00:36:10,400 --> 00:36:13,759
Speaker 2: is well placed. And you know, like I said, I'm

814
00:36:13,760 --> 00:36:16,319
Speaker 2: not a psychologist. I'm not a psychiatrist. I can't make

815
00:36:16,360 --> 00:36:19,320
Speaker 2: any calls, but I can also I can make the

816
00:36:19,400 --> 00:36:25,840
Speaker 2: judgment call that therapy would generally be a positive impact needed.

817
00:36:26,040 --> 00:36:30,200
Speaker 2: He said these terrible things while eating his online ordered

818
00:36:30,239 --> 00:36:34,279
Speaker 2: food and watching YouTube for more context. For years, after

819
00:36:34,320 --> 00:36:37,239
Speaker 2: every fight, my brother refuses to eat anything my mom

820
00:36:37,280 --> 00:36:40,359
Speaker 2: cooks because he knows it makes her sad. Dude, that's

821
00:36:40,360 --> 00:36:40,840
Speaker 2: not cool.

822
00:36:41,000 --> 00:36:43,520
Speaker 3: I'm trying to cook you some good food, some homemade meal,

823
00:36:43,680 --> 00:36:45,719
Speaker 3: and you deny it because you know it's going to

824
00:36:45,800 --> 00:36:47,600
Speaker 3: make her sad. You want to make her feel more work.

825
00:36:47,600 --> 00:36:49,880
Speaker 2: And this is from before, so he's had very intense

826
00:36:50,000 --> 00:36:54,319
Speaker 2: negative behavioral loops. She eventually just starts bringing food to

827
00:36:54,360 --> 00:36:57,160
Speaker 2: his room, hoping to fix things. And for a while

828
00:36:57,200 --> 00:37:00,120
Speaker 2: he stopped this behavior because he had no income and

829
00:37:00,280 --> 00:37:04,480
Speaker 2: online orders we're expensive. But now my dad funds his lifestyle.

830
00:37:04,920 --> 00:37:06,960
Speaker 3: The parents are supporting it rather than fixing.

831
00:37:07,160 --> 00:37:09,680
Speaker 2: Hard work is ahead for this guy for.

832
00:37:09,640 --> 00:37:13,080
Speaker 3: The family, sure, but it's going to take for the brother.

833
00:37:13,160 --> 00:37:14,600
Speaker 2: It's going to be hard work for the whole family this.

834
00:37:14,719 --> 00:37:17,759
Speaker 2: It's going to require the whole family being a part

835
00:37:17,800 --> 00:37:18,040
Speaker 2: of this.

836
00:37:18,160 --> 00:37:20,200
Speaker 3: The most work is going to be Opie's brother.

837
00:37:20,320 --> 00:37:22,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, of course, but you know it's not really

838
00:37:22,520 --> 00:37:26,319
Speaker 2: hard work. What's that you joining us when we go

839
00:37:26,560 --> 00:37:32,200
Speaker 2: live every weekday at three pm PST on Facebook, YouTube, Twitch, TikTok.

840
00:37:32,239 --> 00:37:34,000
Speaker 2: I feel like I changed the order every time all

841
00:37:34,000 --> 00:37:36,400
Speaker 2: you gotta do is tap our profile, stop it and you're.

842
00:37:36,280 --> 00:37:38,680
Speaker 3: In you know what, we might even be live right now,

843
00:37:38,880 --> 00:37:41,320
Speaker 3: but don't check that out just yet. We're going to

844
00:37:41,360 --> 00:37:43,719
Speaker 3: make sure that we have some resolution or we at

845
00:37:43,760 --> 00:37:46,120
Speaker 3: least have a follow up on Opie's brother. A little

846
00:37:46,120 --> 00:37:47,959
Speaker 3: bit story left here, but I think we said our piece.

847
00:37:48,160 --> 00:37:51,160
Speaker 2: Yeah he needs help. Your brother needs helps or perfect

848
00:37:51,200 --> 00:37:53,960
Speaker 2: age range of like where things start to develop and

849
00:37:54,239 --> 00:37:57,239
Speaker 2: you know, exacerbated, like things that may have been there

850
00:37:57,480 --> 00:38:00,239
Speaker 2: for you know, a handful of years through the you know,

851
00:38:00,360 --> 00:38:03,400
Speaker 2: mid early or late teens are now blossoming into like

852
00:38:03,480 --> 00:38:06,360
Speaker 2: full blown mental issues slash disorders.

853
00:38:06,440 --> 00:38:08,880
Speaker 3: It's taking it out on everyone, and it's draining everyone.

854
00:38:09,000 --> 00:38:13,080
Speaker 3: It's making everyone miserable. And again you're seeing that Opie, It's.

855
00:38:12,960 --> 00:38:13,440
Speaker 2: Time to stop it.

856
00:38:13,480 --> 00:38:15,279
Speaker 3: At least pump that breaks before he gets more out

857
00:38:15,280 --> 00:38:16,680
Speaker 3: of hand. He's got a lot of pens up energy,

858
00:38:16,719 --> 00:38:19,200
Speaker 3: Like I said, therapy, some exercise or at least some

859
00:38:19,239 --> 00:38:22,719
Speaker 3: hobby like yoga, something that just takes that anger and

860
00:38:22,760 --> 00:38:24,239
Speaker 3: puts it into something positive.

861
00:38:24,440 --> 00:38:27,200
Speaker 2: Let's finish this off. I don't know what to do.

862
00:38:27,600 --> 00:38:30,480
Speaker 2: Sometimes I think about cutting off contact with my brother

863
00:38:30,560 --> 00:38:34,240
Speaker 2: and family for real, Unlike my brother is empty threats.

864
00:38:34,640 --> 00:38:37,480
Speaker 2: My parents will enable his behavior as long as they can.

865
00:38:37,560 --> 00:38:40,360
Speaker 2: But other times I think that this is all stupid.

866
00:38:40,400 --> 00:38:43,000
Speaker 2: No one except me seems willing to admit that they've

867
00:38:43,000 --> 00:38:45,719
Speaker 2: done things wrong or acknowledge that there's a problem that

868
00:38:45,760 --> 00:38:49,680
Speaker 2: needs addressing. Has anyone experienced something similar? I'd appreciate your

869
00:38:49,680 --> 00:38:52,280
Speaker 2: thoughts and advice. And that is the end of the story.

870
00:38:52,320 --> 00:38:54,640
Speaker 2: When he's going low, you gotta go high. In this situation,

871
00:38:54,920 --> 00:38:57,840
Speaker 2: you gotta move with love. I mean, based on his behavior,

872
00:38:57,880 --> 00:39:01,479
Speaker 2: he doesn't deserve it. But but if you are in

873
00:39:01,560 --> 00:39:03,960
Speaker 2: the mind state of I want to help him, and

874
00:39:04,040 --> 00:39:04,839
Speaker 2: that's what you gotta do.

875
00:39:05,000 --> 00:39:07,040
Speaker 3: Is not just helping the brother, it's helping the mom.

876
00:39:07,200 --> 00:39:09,680
Speaker 3: He's helping the dad. He helps helping family, the whole

877
00:39:09,680 --> 00:39:13,640
Speaker 3: family as just the whole so as the oldest. This

878
00:39:13,680 --> 00:39:15,520
Speaker 3: is where you stand up. Either you let go, you

879
00:39:15,600 --> 00:39:17,319
Speaker 3: run away, or you'd pick up up the work and

880
00:39:17,360 --> 00:39:18,640
Speaker 3: you just put in a lot of effort.

881
00:39:18,719 --> 00:39:21,360
Speaker 2: Maybe approach the parents first to try to get them,

882
00:39:21,600 --> 00:39:24,840
Speaker 2: you know, to see the severity of the situation.

883
00:39:24,880 --> 00:39:25,959
Speaker 3: Well, that's the end that story, guys.

884
00:39:26,080 --> 00:39:29,520
Speaker 2: The expense is for my best friend's wedding. Keep piling up.

885
00:39:29,800 --> 00:39:31,440
Speaker 2: I don't think I'll be able to pay them.

886
00:39:31,440 --> 00:39:32,880
Speaker 3: Why are you paying for this wedding?

887
00:39:33,000 --> 00:39:35,839
Speaker 2: Good point. Let's find out. So I, thirty two male,

888
00:39:36,040 --> 00:39:39,200
Speaker 2: have this ex friend thirty one female that I met

889
00:39:39,280 --> 00:39:42,000
Speaker 2: years ago. Let's call her Rita. We met in childhood,

890
00:39:42,040 --> 00:39:44,439
Speaker 2: although we grew closer about five or six years ago

891
00:39:44,480 --> 00:39:47,960
Speaker 2: as adults after not having any contact for years, our

892
00:39:48,000 --> 00:39:50,560
Speaker 2: paths just happened to cross again later in life. I

893
00:39:50,640 --> 00:39:53,839
Speaker 2: also have another bestie, let's call them Cleo twenty nine,

894
00:39:53,880 --> 00:39:56,920
Speaker 2: non binary. We ended up moving to the same city,

895
00:39:57,000 --> 00:40:00,440
Speaker 2: and Rita and Cleo became close friends too. We had

896
00:40:00,480 --> 00:40:02,920
Speaker 2: our little friend group. We shared all our happy times

897
00:40:02,920 --> 00:40:05,760
Speaker 2: and hardships. We come from the same country but moved

898
00:40:05,800 --> 00:40:09,000
Speaker 2: away as adults. There's a lot that we worked through,

899
00:40:09,120 --> 00:40:15,400
Speaker 2: traumatic experiences, the pandemic, the loss of loved ones, sicknesses, unemployment, everything.

900
00:40:15,800 --> 00:40:18,560
Speaker 2: I was quite sure our friendship is strong and would

901
00:40:18,640 --> 00:40:23,560
Speaker 2: last for decades, if not forever, But I was so wrong. Wrong.

902
00:40:23,719 --> 00:40:26,680
Speaker 2: By the way. This comes from user low key miso

903
00:40:26,840 --> 00:40:30,920
Speaker 2: Maniac on the r slash Okay storytime subrenden. So Rita

904
00:40:30,960 --> 00:40:33,560
Speaker 2: got engaged and told Cleo and I that she will

905
00:40:33,600 --> 00:40:36,240
Speaker 2: be getting married in summer of twenty twenty four. Cleo

906
00:40:36,320 --> 00:40:38,160
Speaker 2: and I knew this would be a challenge because of

907
00:40:38,160 --> 00:40:41,400
Speaker 2: all the expenses and organizational tasks that come with a wedding,

908
00:40:41,719 --> 00:40:45,160
Speaker 2: as well as the bride's expectations. It was supposed to

909
00:40:45,160 --> 00:40:47,520
Speaker 2: be a three day wedding in our homeland. The groom's

910
00:40:47,560 --> 00:40:50,160
Speaker 2: family is from another country, so we were all supposed

911
00:40:50,160 --> 00:40:52,360
Speaker 2: to travel to a secluded village to take part in

912
00:40:52,400 --> 00:40:55,920
Speaker 2: the celebrations. Cleo and I were engaged in many things

913
00:40:55,920 --> 00:40:58,560
Speaker 2: from the beginning. I also said I am happy to

914
00:40:58,560 --> 00:41:01,560
Speaker 2: help decorate the venue and try earlier to set things up.

915
00:41:01,960 --> 00:41:05,120
Speaker 2: I was also asked to help with some administrative tasks,

916
00:41:05,480 --> 00:41:08,239
Speaker 2: which I happily agreed to. All of this was to

917
00:41:08,239 --> 00:41:11,760
Speaker 2: help save money. My thing is I don't like weddings,

918
00:41:12,000 --> 00:41:14,720
Speaker 2: but Rita was like my little sister, and I wanted

919
00:41:14,719 --> 00:41:18,160
Speaker 2: to support her, especially given that her mom passed away

920
00:41:18,160 --> 00:41:20,719
Speaker 2: a few years ago, so did one of her siblings,

921
00:41:20,920 --> 00:41:22,840
Speaker 2: and I knew the three of us were like family.

922
00:41:22,960 --> 00:41:23,799
Speaker 3: Okay that's rough.

923
00:41:24,040 --> 00:41:26,279
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, I mean good call being there for her.

924
00:41:26,600 --> 00:41:29,640
Speaker 2: But it started to get more and more intense in

925
00:41:29,719 --> 00:41:33,839
Speaker 2: terms of financial and emotional contribution expected from us. We

926
00:41:33,840 --> 00:41:36,000
Speaker 2: were supposed to go to a different city for dress

927
00:41:36,000 --> 00:41:39,160
Speaker 2: adjustments and cover accommodation costs. Why do you need to

928
00:41:39,200 --> 00:41:41,000
Speaker 2: go to a different city for that seems extra?

929
00:41:41,120 --> 00:41:42,080
Speaker 3: Maybe that's the hot spot.

930
00:41:42,160 --> 00:41:44,440
Speaker 2: I think that's what he's talking about. We helped choose

931
00:41:44,480 --> 00:41:46,920
Speaker 2: clothes for the groom. We were supposed to participate in

932
00:41:46,920 --> 00:41:49,520
Speaker 2: a bachelorette trip that was supposed to be a surprise

933
00:41:49,640 --> 00:41:52,839
Speaker 2: for Rita. Although she explicitly stated she wants to go

934
00:41:52,880 --> 00:41:56,080
Speaker 2: to a place with sun, beach and a pool, she

935
00:41:56,200 --> 00:41:59,280
Speaker 2: also told us as her closest friends who she wanted

936
00:41:59,280 --> 00:42:01,800
Speaker 2: to come to therette, so it's not really a secret.

937
00:42:01,880 --> 00:42:03,799
Speaker 2: She was the one managing the entire thing. We were

938
00:42:03,800 --> 00:42:07,359
Speaker 2: expected to cover all of the participation costs for ourselves

939
00:42:07,400 --> 00:42:10,279
Speaker 2: and for Rita. We started organizing the trip and the

940
00:42:10,320 --> 00:42:13,480
Speaker 2: travel and accommodation cost was about four hundred dollars per person.

941
00:42:13,640 --> 00:42:17,280
Speaker 2: At least. Rita didn't expect us to order tailored suits

942
00:42:17,400 --> 00:42:20,960
Speaker 2: that we would also be expected to fully pay for.

943
00:42:21,280 --> 00:42:24,240
Speaker 2: Around that time, Rita sent Cleo and I a message

944
00:42:24,239 --> 00:42:26,239
Speaker 2: that there is a room prepared for us and our

945
00:42:26,280 --> 00:42:29,360
Speaker 2: partners at the wedding venue and told us the cost

946
00:42:29,560 --> 00:42:32,000
Speaker 2: in case we did not intend to stay at the

947
00:42:32,000 --> 00:42:34,839
Speaker 2: wedding venue. There was a hotel fifteen miles away from

948
00:42:34,920 --> 00:42:37,960
Speaker 2: there that we could book ourselves. The transportation to the

949
00:42:38,000 --> 00:42:40,280
Speaker 2: wedding venue that was initially meant to be a rented

950
00:42:40,320 --> 00:42:43,240
Speaker 2: bus to bring wedding guests from the closest big city

951
00:42:43,280 --> 00:42:45,799
Speaker 2: to the village, which we were supposed to pay about

952
00:42:45,800 --> 00:42:49,840
Speaker 2: thirty dollars per person, was canceled and Rita told us, quote,

953
00:42:49,920 --> 00:42:52,719
Speaker 2: there are affordable ways to rent a car. Well, let

954
00:42:52,760 --> 00:42:55,280
Speaker 2: me tell ya that it is not affordable for everyone,

955
00:42:55,320 --> 00:42:58,759
Speaker 2: and it's apparently approximately ten times more expensive than the

956
00:42:58,760 --> 00:43:00,839
Speaker 2: bus ticket, which, if my math is right, that's three

957
00:43:00,920 --> 00:43:01,640
Speaker 2: hundred bucks.

958
00:43:01,760 --> 00:43:03,080
Speaker 3: That's not thirty dollars.

959
00:43:03,160 --> 00:43:05,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, the math ain't math in on that though. Not

960
00:43:05,680 --> 00:43:10,160
Speaker 2: everyone has a driver's license, and some rental services refused

961
00:43:10,200 --> 00:43:12,240
Speaker 2: to rent a car if you go to another country.

962
00:43:12,280 --> 00:43:14,319
Speaker 2: I know because I had to deal with it last year.

963
00:43:14,440 --> 00:43:17,120
Speaker 2: At that time, I was dealing with serious health issues,

964
00:43:17,320 --> 00:43:20,600
Speaker 2: had to undergo extensive surgery, went through a cancer scare,

965
00:43:20,640 --> 00:43:24,000
Speaker 2: and got my job contract expired. Needless to say, I

966
00:43:24,120 --> 00:43:26,719
Speaker 2: was rock bottom and struggled to even pay my rent.

967
00:43:26,760 --> 00:43:30,560
Speaker 2: Around that time, Rita's father unexpectedly passed away we both

968
00:43:30,600 --> 00:43:34,080
Speaker 2: found ourselves in very vulnerable positions and could not support

969
00:43:34,120 --> 00:43:36,200
Speaker 2: each other the way we would have liked to. Cleo

970
00:43:36,360 --> 00:43:39,880
Speaker 2: was also facing possible job loss and financial hardships and

971
00:43:39,960 --> 00:43:41,080
Speaker 2: had a hand surgery.

972
00:43:41,239 --> 00:43:44,440
Speaker 3: Everyone's going through it right now. Mercury was a gatorade

973
00:43:44,600 --> 00:43:46,880
Speaker 3: or something. What is going on here? You gotta go

974
00:43:47,000 --> 00:43:49,960
Speaker 3: down so everything can go up. I'm sorry for everyone

975
00:43:50,000 --> 00:43:50,480
Speaker 3: in this story.

976
00:43:50,520 --> 00:43:53,400
Speaker 2: This sucks. The moment Rita started pressing us about the

977
00:43:53,400 --> 00:43:56,799
Speaker 2: wedding trip accommodation, which we discussed before, and we both

978
00:43:56,840 --> 00:43:58,680
Speaker 2: said we will be staying at the wedding venue with

979
00:43:58,680 --> 00:44:02,080
Speaker 2: our partners, something broke in me and I said in

980
00:44:02,160 --> 00:44:04,360
Speaker 2: our group chat that given the amount of support we

981
00:44:04,480 --> 00:44:07,400
Speaker 2: offer and the expenses we were expected to cover to

982
00:44:07,560 --> 00:44:11,680
Speaker 2: merely participate in the wedding, I felt exploited. Dang, that

983
00:44:11,760 --> 00:44:13,839
Speaker 2: takes a lot of courage dropping that in the group chat.

984
00:44:13,920 --> 00:44:16,120
Speaker 3: Let's see how that's gonna make everyone else respond.

985
00:44:16,360 --> 00:44:19,600
Speaker 2: I felt like certain things in communication about the overall

986
00:44:19,680 --> 00:44:22,640
Speaker 2: cost was not fully transparent from the beginning, and that

987
00:44:22,719 --> 00:44:25,239
Speaker 2: there was little understanding on Rita's part that this is

988
00:44:25,280 --> 00:44:27,680
Speaker 2: in fact a lot of money that we don't have.

989
00:44:28,280 --> 00:44:31,680
Speaker 2: This triggered something in Rita and she sent multiple paragraphs

990
00:44:31,960 --> 00:44:35,279
Speaker 2: saying how ungrateful we are that she regrets thinking of

991
00:44:35,360 --> 00:44:37,840
Speaker 2: us as her family and went no contact.

992
00:44:37,960 --> 00:44:38,800
Speaker 3: This is rough.

993
00:44:39,040 --> 00:44:42,359
Speaker 2: I'm rolling my eyes though, dude, Like, straight up, you're

994
00:44:42,440 --> 00:44:46,240
Speaker 2: organizing an international wedding. You're having all of your friends

995
00:44:47,000 --> 00:44:50,200
Speaker 2: organize it, pay for it, make it happen. I don't

996
00:44:50,239 --> 00:44:53,200
Speaker 2: know if that's just how things roll where you're from, but.

997
00:44:53,360 --> 00:44:53,960
Speaker 3: It doesn't work.

998
00:44:54,080 --> 00:44:55,920
Speaker 2: That's not how that works.

999
00:44:56,120 --> 00:44:58,319
Speaker 3: Plus here at least a plus on top of that.

1000
00:44:58,360 --> 00:45:00,920
Speaker 3: I mean, it depends depends a wedding and who agreed

1001
00:45:00,920 --> 00:45:01,360
Speaker 3: and what no.

1002
00:45:01,480 --> 00:45:03,719
Speaker 2: I feel like the you know, the bride and the

1003
00:45:03,760 --> 00:45:06,280
Speaker 2: groom are expected, Like if you're doing a bachelorette party,

1004
00:45:06,400 --> 00:45:09,000
Speaker 2: how much of the expenses are expected to be covered

1005
00:45:09,000 --> 00:45:10,040
Speaker 2: by like the bride.

1006
00:45:10,080 --> 00:45:12,960
Speaker 3: It depends on who. Like if the bride said, hey,

1007
00:45:13,000 --> 00:45:15,200
Speaker 3: if everyone's going to chip this in, great, but like

1008
00:45:15,440 --> 00:45:17,960
Speaker 3: that is coming from the person who is planning the party,

1009
00:45:18,120 --> 00:45:21,080
Speaker 3: you know, the bachelor, the wedding. If it's all communicated

1010
00:45:21,080 --> 00:45:23,120
Speaker 3: from the very get go, and that's a very understanded,

1011
00:45:23,400 --> 00:45:25,600
Speaker 3: that's okay. But if you're expecting people to be paying

1012
00:45:25,640 --> 00:45:28,520
Speaker 3: more money when it wasn't expected that's not okay. It

1013
00:45:28,520 --> 00:45:29,759
Speaker 3: just depends on how it was communicated.

1014
00:45:30,040 --> 00:45:32,840
Speaker 2: The one thing, it seems like she went way overboard

1015
00:45:32,840 --> 00:45:35,360
Speaker 2: in terms of oh yeah, well response, Well guess what.

1016
00:45:35,560 --> 00:45:38,719
Speaker 3: Here's the thing. Everyone is going through it, and she

1017
00:45:38,880 --> 00:45:41,160
Speaker 3: is in a mixed bag of emotions right now. It's

1018
00:45:41,200 --> 00:45:43,960
Speaker 3: true she just lost her father. Everyone's going through it,

1019
00:45:44,040 --> 00:45:45,480
Speaker 3: so it's not fair for her to be a point

1020
00:45:45,480 --> 00:45:48,080
Speaker 3: of the finger. But she's also just in a completely

1021
00:45:48,160 --> 00:45:50,200
Speaker 3: vulnerable state. So I don't know.

1022
00:45:50,280 --> 00:45:51,000
Speaker 2: Well, let's find out.

1023
00:45:51,080 --> 00:45:53,359
Speaker 3: I would posted on the wedding with just everything going on,

1024
00:45:53,680 --> 00:45:55,040
Speaker 3: like personally.

1025
00:45:54,680 --> 00:45:57,480
Speaker 2: Let's see what happens. These words were meant to hurt us.

1026
00:45:57,600 --> 00:46:00,200
Speaker 2: I did not expect this to escalate so much. That

1027
00:46:00,320 --> 00:46:03,680
Speaker 2: was already a few months ago after the initial blowout,

1028
00:46:03,719 --> 00:46:06,080
Speaker 2: I twice sent her a message saying that I'd be

1029
00:46:06,080 --> 00:46:08,680
Speaker 2: willing to meet in person to discuss everything, so that

1030
00:46:08,760 --> 00:46:11,640
Speaker 2: we are not communicating in text where details and tone

1031
00:46:11,680 --> 00:46:14,440
Speaker 2: get lost or misinterpreted. I never got an answer. I

1032
00:46:14,480 --> 00:46:17,000
Speaker 2: know now that she was basically going through a meltdown

1033
00:46:17,120 --> 00:46:19,600
Speaker 2: due to lack of communication. Cleo and I decided to

1034
00:46:19,640 --> 00:46:22,560
Speaker 2: not go to the bachelorette trip, although we already paid

1035
00:46:22,560 --> 00:46:25,160
Speaker 2: for our flight tickets and couldn't cancel them. We had

1036
00:46:25,200 --> 00:46:29,239
Speaker 2: a heated discussion with other bachelorette participants, which was very

1037
00:46:29,320 --> 00:46:32,600
Speaker 2: unpleasant and difficult. The main organizing person booked a huge

1038
00:46:32,680 --> 00:46:35,759
Speaker 2: villa without the possibility to change or cancel the reservation.

1039
00:46:36,160 --> 00:46:38,200
Speaker 2: I just could not imagine going to a trip where

1040
00:46:38,239 --> 00:46:40,839
Speaker 2: the person we were supposed to celebrate does not want

1041
00:46:40,880 --> 00:46:44,200
Speaker 2: to talk to me. According to our mutual friend, shortly after,

1042
00:46:44,360 --> 00:46:47,200
Speaker 2: Rita contacted Cleo and I and we met in person.

1043
00:46:47,400 --> 00:46:50,360
Speaker 2: The whole meeting, she barely looked at me, mostly talking

1044
00:46:50,360 --> 00:46:54,279
Speaker 2: to Cleo. It was a difficult conversation. Rita couldn't answer

1045
00:46:54,360 --> 00:46:56,759
Speaker 2: my question if she even wanted Cleo and I to

1046
00:46:56,800 --> 00:46:59,120
Speaker 2: come to the bachelorette or the wedding. She said that

1047
00:46:59,400 --> 00:47:01,239
Speaker 2: we knew about the wedding for over a year and

1048
00:47:01,280 --> 00:47:03,880
Speaker 2: could have saved money, and that she wanted us to

1049
00:47:03,880 --> 00:47:07,359
Speaker 2: support her in making her dream come true without making objections,

1050
00:47:07,760 --> 00:47:10,120
Speaker 2: and that she found it ridiculous that we're arguing over

1051
00:47:10,160 --> 00:47:10,479
Speaker 2: a month.

1052
00:47:10,640 --> 00:47:13,120
Speaker 3: I don't like that. That's not fair.

1053
00:47:13,520 --> 00:47:16,920
Speaker 2: That is entirely self centered, and your perspective is so

1054
00:47:17,040 --> 00:47:19,000
Speaker 2: narrow you can't see past right here.

1055
00:47:19,160 --> 00:47:21,040
Speaker 3: All I'm hearing is me, me, Me, me, me.

1056
00:47:21,840 --> 00:47:24,080
Speaker 2: That you guys could have saved. Did you say anything

1057
00:47:24,080 --> 00:47:26,759
Speaker 2: at all that implied they should be saving because the

1058
00:47:26,800 --> 00:47:27,960
Speaker 2: wedding was going to cost them?

1059
00:47:27,960 --> 00:47:30,719
Speaker 3: Like a thousand plus? My wedding was coming up, so

1060
00:47:30,840 --> 00:47:31,960
Speaker 3: you should have saved for it.

1061
00:47:32,040 --> 00:47:36,520
Speaker 2: Four hundred dollars, you know, accommodations, three hundred dollars, rental cars,

1062
00:47:36,880 --> 00:47:39,880
Speaker 2: you know, paying for all the dresses, paying for the clothes.

1063
00:47:40,120 --> 00:47:42,319
Speaker 3: Like but again, you knew about the wedding. You knew

1064
00:47:42,320 --> 00:47:44,520
Speaker 3: about the wedding. You should have known. No it again,

1065
00:47:44,600 --> 00:47:46,840
Speaker 3: things happen flipped back onto you.

1066
00:47:46,840 --> 00:47:48,680
Speaker 2: You knew about your wedding, So if you knew it

1067
00:47:48,680 --> 00:47:50,400
Speaker 2: was going to be this expensive, you should let people

1068
00:47:50,400 --> 00:47:53,279
Speaker 2: know that. Out of one hundred guests, Cleo and I

1069
00:47:53,360 --> 00:47:55,239
Speaker 2: were the only ones to complain about the wedding and

1070
00:47:55,280 --> 00:47:58,160
Speaker 2: the cost and the emotional distress. That we could have

1071
00:47:58,200 --> 00:48:01,480
Speaker 2: told her about our financial issues, which we did that Usually,

1072
00:48:01,520 --> 00:48:04,120
Speaker 2: if a wedding is happening elsewhere, the guests cover all

1073
00:48:04,120 --> 00:48:07,239
Speaker 2: the costs. No, all, right, then I'm gonna have my

1074
00:48:07,400 --> 00:48:10,799
Speaker 2: wedding in Fiji. I hope everyone else is willing to

1075
00:48:10,840 --> 00:48:11,960
Speaker 2: pay for everything for me.

1076
00:48:12,080 --> 00:48:13,200
Speaker 3: Sorry, brother, I ain't paying for that.

1077
00:48:13,360 --> 00:48:15,759
Speaker 2: Yeah, of course not, that'd be ridiculous. That's when she

1078
00:48:15,840 --> 00:48:18,880
Speaker 2: decided to cover the costs of all meals for our partners.

1079
00:48:19,000 --> 00:48:21,279
Speaker 2: At first, we were supposed to pay for it. We

1080
00:48:21,360 --> 00:48:24,640
Speaker 2: did not even appreciate her generosity that she did not

1081
00:48:24,960 --> 00:48:26,719
Speaker 2: know how much we were supposed to pay for the

1082
00:48:26,760 --> 00:48:30,560
Speaker 2: bachelorette since it's a surprise and she did not organize it. True,

1083
00:48:30,840 --> 00:48:33,279
Speaker 2: but she did specify what she wanted, or that we

1084
00:48:33,280 --> 00:48:35,960
Speaker 2: could have organized something cheaper and easier and she would

1085
00:48:36,000 --> 00:48:38,000
Speaker 2: have been happy anyways, which is not true because she

1086
00:48:38,080 --> 00:48:42,320
Speaker 2: explicitly said that she wants to go away to the beach,

1087
00:48:42,880 --> 00:48:45,799
Speaker 2: to the sand, to the sun, to the pool, like

1088
00:48:45,880 --> 00:48:47,520
Speaker 2: you wanted a resort get away.

1089
00:48:47,560 --> 00:48:49,000
Speaker 3: I mean, yeah again, at the end of the day,

1090
00:48:49,040 --> 00:48:50,759
Speaker 3: your wedding, your choice. You just got to make sure

1091
00:48:50,840 --> 00:48:53,600
Speaker 3: you understand everyone's footing in this.

1092
00:48:53,840 --> 00:48:56,440
Speaker 2: She goes on Tuesday that we could have said in

1093
00:48:56,520 --> 00:48:59,520
Speaker 2: the bachelorette group chat that our budget. We did, and

1094
00:48:59,560 --> 00:49:02,319
Speaker 2: the budget ended up being almost double what we said

1095
00:49:02,360 --> 00:49:05,120
Speaker 2: it should be. Rita said she is warning our friendship

1096
00:49:05,480 --> 00:49:07,480
Speaker 2: and that she felt like she already made a decision

1097
00:49:07,480 --> 00:49:09,640
Speaker 2: to end it. I want to add that Rita and

1098
00:49:09,680 --> 00:49:12,560
Speaker 2: myself never had a major fallout, and I thought that

1099
00:49:12,640 --> 00:49:14,400
Speaker 2: we would have been able to work this out. I

1100
00:49:14,520 --> 00:49:17,080
Speaker 2: absolutely don't want to take away from what she's been

1101
00:49:17,120 --> 00:49:19,680
Speaker 2: through over the past months, but I'm also learning to

1102
00:49:19,719 --> 00:49:23,279
Speaker 2: set boundaries, and this time, as so many times in

1103
00:49:23,320 --> 00:49:25,879
Speaker 2: my life, I got punished for doing so. A few

1104
00:49:25,920 --> 00:49:29,319
Speaker 2: weeks ago, Rita was celebrating her birthday. I sent her

1105
00:49:29,360 --> 00:49:33,080
Speaker 2: an honest and heartfelt message apologizing for hurting her, explaining

1106
00:49:33,120 --> 00:49:35,520
Speaker 2: that it was never my intention to contribute to her pain,

1107
00:49:35,840 --> 00:49:37,959
Speaker 2: but that I also felt hurt and that I would

1108
00:49:37,960 --> 00:49:39,799
Speaker 2: be open to meeting with her in person if she

1109
00:49:39,920 --> 00:49:42,520
Speaker 2: ever had the capacity to do so, but that I

1110
00:49:42,560 --> 00:49:45,280
Speaker 2: will not press it on to her and respect her decision.

1111
00:49:45,680 --> 00:49:48,439
Speaker 2: She said thank you. Two weeks later, my birthday came

1112
00:49:48,800 --> 00:49:51,640
Speaker 2: and I only got a very generic, somewhat cordial message

1113
00:49:51,640 --> 00:49:54,800
Speaker 2: from Rita. We didn't attend the bachelorette. Out of twelve

1114
00:49:54,800 --> 00:49:57,560
Speaker 2: people who were supposed to go, only Rita and three

1115
00:49:57,760 --> 00:50:00,680
Speaker 2: other friends went to spend a weekend in a villa

1116
00:50:00,760 --> 00:50:04,799
Speaker 2: for fifteen people that we all paid for. If you

1117
00:50:04,880 --> 00:50:07,959
Speaker 2: already paid for it, I'm going, I would go. I'll

1118
00:50:07,960 --> 00:50:08,640
Speaker 2: do my own thing.

1119
00:50:09,000 --> 00:50:10,440
Speaker 3: That's it. I'm gonna do my own thing.

1120
00:50:10,760 --> 00:50:12,840
Speaker 2: Nah, I'm gonna do my own thing. I'd pull a

1121
00:50:12,880 --> 00:50:15,359
Speaker 2: Miles Morales on that for sure. And by the way,

1122
00:50:15,520 --> 00:50:18,319
Speaker 2: Miles Morales, if you're listening, you can always join us

1123
00:50:18,400 --> 00:50:23,960
Speaker 2: when we go live on YouTube, Facebook, Twitch, and TikTok

1124
00:50:24,280 --> 00:50:26,680
Speaker 2: every weekday at three pm PST. All you gotta do

1125
00:50:26,760 --> 00:50:30,160
Speaker 2: is tap our profile until you're in the live and

1126
00:50:30,200 --> 00:50:32,360
Speaker 2: if you're watching this right now, in the future, we

1127
00:50:32,440 --> 00:50:34,919
Speaker 2: might even be live right now. So once we finish

1128
00:50:35,040 --> 00:50:36,200
Speaker 2: the story, maybe go check on that.

1129
00:50:36,280 --> 00:50:38,160
Speaker 3: But let's find out more. I mean, before we go

1130
00:50:38,239 --> 00:50:38,919
Speaker 3: and find out more.

1131
00:50:38,960 --> 00:50:40,799
Speaker 2: We do have a little bit of story left. But

1132
00:50:40,880 --> 00:50:43,120
Speaker 2: I think the whole friend group has gone through a

1133
00:50:43,160 --> 00:50:46,000
Speaker 2: whole lot of trauma in the last handful of you know, months,

1134
00:50:46,120 --> 00:50:49,080
Speaker 2: so Rita's in a full blown meltdown. I don't necessarily

1135
00:50:49,080 --> 00:50:52,040
Speaker 2: think Rita needs to you know, cut off. She's making

1136
00:50:52,040 --> 00:50:53,320
Speaker 2: all these executive decisions.

1137
00:50:53,360 --> 00:50:56,320
Speaker 3: The fact that you said I'm already mourning our friendship.

1138
00:50:55,960 --> 00:51:00,239
Speaker 2: What you're kind of like it's an escalation intention making

1139
00:51:00,280 --> 00:51:04,320
Speaker 2: things more dramatic. From my perspective, op is being very reasonable.

1140
00:51:04,440 --> 00:51:06,400
Speaker 2: And it wasn't like it was immediate. It wasn't like

1141
00:51:06,520 --> 00:51:09,640
Speaker 2: whoa four hundred dollars woo you think I am like

1142
00:51:09,760 --> 00:51:12,320
Speaker 2: missed the money bags. It was like the four hundred

1143
00:51:12,320 --> 00:51:14,879
Speaker 2: dollars and then like the you know, the bus spe

1144
00:51:15,040 --> 00:51:16,839
Speaker 2: going from thirty bucks to like now it's a three

1145
00:51:16,920 --> 00:51:19,239
Speaker 2: hundred dollars rental car, and like, you know, they're buying

1146
00:51:19,280 --> 00:51:21,320
Speaker 2: all the food, and it's like they're expected to handle

1147
00:51:21,440 --> 00:51:24,359
Speaker 2: all of the costs of the bachelorette party. And it's

1148
00:51:24,400 --> 00:51:27,160
Speaker 2: like it's wanted to be fancy on the beach there,

1149
00:51:27,480 --> 00:51:28,040
Speaker 2: you know, and.

1150
00:51:27,960 --> 00:51:30,600
Speaker 3: It's just again, here we go. Read's expectations were so

1151
00:51:31,120 --> 00:51:33,680
Speaker 3: high and again it's your day, great, but you gotta

1152
00:51:33,719 --> 00:51:36,160
Speaker 3: be reasonable. The fact that you had three out of

1153
00:51:36,200 --> 00:51:39,719
Speaker 3: fifteen people come to your bacheloulette, that people paid for

1154
00:51:40,120 --> 00:51:45,200
Speaker 3: that speaks volumes. I think it knew speaks in volume volumes.

1155
00:51:45,400 --> 00:51:47,600
Speaker 2: Let's see what we're doing here. All in all, we

1156
00:51:47,600 --> 00:51:50,880
Speaker 2: were expected to spend at least one thousand dollars to

1157
00:51:51,000 --> 00:51:53,920
Speaker 2: participate in our friend's wedding, and when we voiced our

1158
00:51:53,920 --> 00:51:57,440
Speaker 2: feelings and concerns, our friendship of many years just ended.

1159
00:51:57,680 --> 00:52:00,600
Speaker 2: I understand that people sometimes go no contact after a

1160
00:52:00,640 --> 00:52:03,960
Speaker 2: big argument, but I feel like this was uncalled for

1161
00:52:04,160 --> 00:52:06,960
Speaker 2: and that the reaction was blown out of proportion, keeping

1162
00:52:06,960 --> 00:52:09,120
Speaker 2: in mind what Rita went through and how important the

1163
00:52:09,120 --> 00:52:12,400
Speaker 2: wedding was for her. I extended my hand three times.

1164
00:52:12,640 --> 00:52:15,600
Speaker 2: I apologized. I signaled that I'm ready to talk one

1165
00:52:15,640 --> 00:52:18,120
Speaker 2: on one, and I now know that it's over and

1166
00:52:18,160 --> 00:52:20,680
Speaker 2: I will probably never hear from her, and I never

1167
00:52:20,680 --> 00:52:23,000
Speaker 2: got an apology either. I never would have thought we

1168
00:52:23,000 --> 00:52:25,799
Speaker 2: would end up in a place like this, but here

1169
00:52:25,840 --> 00:52:28,080
Speaker 2: we are. I sometimes feel like I'm in the wrong

1170
00:52:28,239 --> 00:52:31,600
Speaker 2: and the feelings are still coming back in waves. Sometimes

1171
00:52:31,640 --> 00:52:34,600
Speaker 2: I'm mad, other times I'm sad. I also know that

1172
00:52:34,640 --> 00:52:38,040
Speaker 2: this friendship breakup took an enormous toll on Cleo. If

1173
00:52:38,080 --> 00:52:41,920
Speaker 2: you read all of that chaotic novel up here, thank you.

1174
00:52:42,280 --> 00:52:45,320
Speaker 2: And that is the end of that story. My best

1175
00:52:45,360 --> 00:52:49,799
Speaker 2: friend accidentally saw a spicy pick of my girlfriend. I

1176
00:52:49,880 --> 00:52:51,880
Speaker 2: think I'm ending our friendship.

1177
00:52:51,480 --> 00:52:52,920
Speaker 3: Spicy spicy ooh la la.

1178
00:52:52,960 --> 00:52:55,360
Speaker 2: All right, So this is kind of a weird situation,

1179
00:52:55,480 --> 00:52:57,959
Speaker 2: and I know the logical answer is to cut him off,

1180
00:52:58,080 --> 00:53:00,239
Speaker 2: but it's really hard for me to do that. He's

1181
00:53:00,280 --> 00:53:04,000
Speaker 2: my only friend and I'm an awkward guy. Outside of

1182
00:53:04,080 --> 00:53:07,200
Speaker 2: him and my girl and my family, I have no

1183
00:53:07,320 --> 00:53:10,800
Speaker 2: other friends. By the way, this comes from user certain

1184
00:53:10,920 --> 00:53:14,280
Speaker 2: cut three one three on the r slash okay storytime subreddit.

1185
00:53:14,600 --> 00:53:17,919
Speaker 2: So so this all started a little over two months ago.

1186
00:53:18,280 --> 00:53:20,520
Speaker 2: Me and my friend were chilling and I was showing

1187
00:53:20,600 --> 00:53:22,839
Speaker 2: him some stuff on my phone. We were going through

1188
00:53:22,880 --> 00:53:25,200
Speaker 2: my camera role because I wanted to show him something

1189
00:53:25,560 --> 00:53:27,920
Speaker 2: and it was in my hidden folder. I opened it

1190
00:53:27,960 --> 00:53:30,520
Speaker 2: without thinking, and a bunch of pictures that me and

1191
00:53:30,560 --> 00:53:33,560
Speaker 2: my girlfriend took together when we were bored popped up instead.

1192
00:53:33,880 --> 00:53:36,319
Speaker 2: They were months old and I forgot they were there.

1193
00:53:36,400 --> 00:53:39,200
Speaker 2: Otherwise I wouldn't have opened the folder either way. He

1194
00:53:39,320 --> 00:53:41,279
Speaker 2: saw it for a split second, and I quickly moved

1195
00:53:41,280 --> 00:53:44,120
Speaker 2: the phone away, laughing and saying sorry about that. And

1196
00:53:44,239 --> 00:53:46,880
Speaker 2: to all those watching, let this be a lesson, be

1197
00:53:46,960 --> 00:53:49,520
Speaker 2: aware of your camera role, be aware of what is

1198
00:53:49,560 --> 00:53:52,240
Speaker 2: on your phone. This is one hundred percent OPC. Literally

1199
00:53:52,320 --> 00:53:55,040
Speaker 2: what like lay look? Oh wait? Oh totally? That only

1200
00:53:55,160 --> 00:53:57,279
Speaker 2: that My bad. Either way, he saw it for a

1201
00:53:57,280 --> 00:53:59,120
Speaker 2: split second and I quickly moved the phone out of

1202
00:53:59,120 --> 00:54:01,800
Speaker 2: the way, laughing and saying sorry about that. He asked

1203
00:54:01,960 --> 00:54:04,560
Speaker 2: what was that, and I just said, my girl likes

1204
00:54:04,600 --> 00:54:07,239
Speaker 2: to take spicy picks with me because she finds them hot.

1205
00:54:07,320 --> 00:54:09,880
Speaker 2: I don't know, nothing too explicit, but they were definitely

1206
00:54:09,920 --> 00:54:13,279
Speaker 2: for my eyes only. He asked to see and I

1207
00:54:13,320 --> 00:54:16,520
Speaker 2: said no. He was like, oh, come on, man, don't

1208
00:54:16,560 --> 00:54:19,640
Speaker 2: be like that. I laughed it off and told him

1209
00:54:19,640 --> 00:54:22,799
Speaker 2: to drop it. He did at that moment until he

1210
00:54:22,840 --> 00:54:26,520
Speaker 2: saw my girlfriend in person and wrapped an arm around

1211
00:54:26,560 --> 00:54:30,880
Speaker 2: her when we said hello. Obviously, she was confused and

1212
00:54:30,960 --> 00:54:34,560
Speaker 2: pushed him off, asking what his problem was. He laughed

1213
00:54:34,600 --> 00:54:37,960
Speaker 2: and said nothing, but he was blatantly staring at her chest.

1214
00:54:38,239 --> 00:54:41,160
Speaker 2: She shrugged it off, but it just pissed me off.

1215
00:54:41,360 --> 00:54:43,359
Speaker 2: I told him to knock it off and he said

1216
00:54:43,400 --> 00:54:46,840
Speaker 2: he wasn't doing anything. Since then, he always asks to

1217
00:54:46,880 --> 00:54:49,200
Speaker 2: see something on my phone and normally I just hand

1218
00:54:49,239 --> 00:54:50,799
Speaker 2: it to him because I have nothing to hide on

1219
00:54:50,840 --> 00:54:53,000
Speaker 2: my phone. But I found myself not being able to

1220
00:54:53,040 --> 00:54:55,719
Speaker 2: trust him and asked him what for. He said that

1221
00:54:55,760 --> 00:54:57,920
Speaker 2: he wants to look at the screenshots of the powerpoints

1222
00:54:57,960 --> 00:55:00,439
Speaker 2: I took in class. I told him I just air

1223
00:55:00,520 --> 00:55:03,040
Speaker 2: drop it to him, and he says he doesn't want

1224
00:55:03,080 --> 00:55:05,040
Speaker 2: them in his camera role and it'll be quick. I

1225
00:55:05,160 --> 00:55:07,440
Speaker 2: handed it to him and let him take a quick

1226
00:55:07,480 --> 00:55:09,359
Speaker 2: look at it for a few moments as I went

1227
00:55:09,400 --> 00:55:11,920
Speaker 2: back to playing my game, but I noticed he was

1228
00:55:11,960 --> 00:55:13,680
Speaker 2: typing a lot on my phone when he was just

1229
00:55:13,760 --> 00:55:17,360
Speaker 2: supposed to be looking at pictures. I stood up, pretending

1230
00:55:17,400 --> 00:55:19,960
Speaker 2: to grab something from my bedside table and saw him

1231
00:55:20,000 --> 00:55:23,120
Speaker 2: swipe out of the hidden folder after failing to guess

1232
00:55:23,120 --> 00:55:25,920
Speaker 2: my passcode to unlock it, and then scroll through my

1233
00:55:26,000 --> 00:55:30,239
Speaker 2: camera roll for the photos. A few seconds later, he said, oh, man,

1234
00:55:30,320 --> 00:55:32,759
Speaker 2: I can't find him and handed it back to me.

1235
00:55:33,120 --> 00:55:36,760
Speaker 2: So it's obvious he was trying to unlock my folder

1236
00:55:36,840 --> 00:55:39,880
Speaker 2: to look at the photos of my girlfriend, and it

1237
00:55:40,080 --> 00:55:43,000
Speaker 2: just pissed me off. I also want to confront him,

1238
00:55:43,120 --> 00:55:45,600
Speaker 2: but I don't know what to say. I also suck

1239
00:55:45,600 --> 00:55:48,800
Speaker 2: at confrontation and it's scary, and like I said before,

1240
00:55:49,280 --> 00:55:51,080
Speaker 2: he's my only friend and I don't want to piss

1241
00:55:51,160 --> 00:55:52,920
Speaker 2: him off and make him leave. Well, dude, this is

1242
00:55:53,040 --> 00:55:54,840
Speaker 2: not a friend you want to have. It's plain and simple.

1243
00:55:54,840 --> 00:55:58,160
Speaker 3: Would you rather have one really gross and weird bad

1244
00:55:58,200 --> 00:56:00,000
Speaker 3: friend or just your girlfriend?

1245
00:55:59,800 --> 00:56:02,000
Speaker 2: I think that your girlfriend would be upset hearing you

1246
00:56:02,040 --> 00:56:04,680
Speaker 2: say that you have no friends when you have your girlfriend,

1247
00:56:04,719 --> 00:56:06,400
Speaker 2: who I would hope you think that's.

1248
00:56:06,200 --> 00:56:06,799
Speaker 3: Your best friend?

1249
00:56:06,840 --> 00:56:10,520
Speaker 2: My friend? Yeah, anyway, my girlfriend doesn't know he saw

1250
00:56:10,560 --> 00:56:13,080
Speaker 2: a glimpse of the photos, but I reckon she doesn't care,

1251
00:56:13,160 --> 00:56:16,000
Speaker 2: because she told me once she showed her friends the

1252
00:56:16,200 --> 00:56:19,360
Speaker 2: spicy content because she thought it was hot and wanted

1253
00:56:19,400 --> 00:56:22,200
Speaker 2: to show show off whatever. I don't know what she

1254
00:56:22,280 --> 00:56:24,720
Speaker 2: showed them, but it doesn't bother me. My friend trying

1255
00:56:24,920 --> 00:56:28,120
Speaker 2: so hard to get a look at them does bother me.

1256
00:56:28,200 --> 00:56:30,160
Speaker 3: Though I don't like what the girlfriend did. I don't

1257
00:56:30,160 --> 00:56:32,080
Speaker 3: know if she asked for consent. She's like, I showed

1258
00:56:32,120 --> 00:56:34,319
Speaker 3: spicy videos. I don't care, and I know he doesn't care,

1259
00:56:34,360 --> 00:56:35,040
Speaker 3: but like that's one thing.

1260
00:56:35,080 --> 00:56:37,040
Speaker 2: I'm like, Yeah, that is something if you're gonna show

1261
00:56:37,120 --> 00:56:40,279
Speaker 2: stuff like that, consent, especially to like mutuals, Like if

1262
00:56:40,320 --> 00:56:43,880
Speaker 2: those friends that you have are friends that OP knows, Yeah,

1263
00:56:43,920 --> 00:56:47,160
Speaker 2: that's weird. You should make sure that he's crystal clear.

1264
00:56:47,160 --> 00:56:49,879
Speaker 3: Okay, put a little like flag up on that one.

1265
00:56:50,080 --> 00:56:51,840
Speaker 3: If she asked her consent and he said, okay, that's fine.

1266
00:56:52,000 --> 00:56:53,759
Speaker 2: We do have an update, so let's get into it.

1267
00:56:54,000 --> 00:56:56,680
Speaker 2: So I went to see my girlfriend before she finished

1268
00:56:56,680 --> 00:56:58,640
Speaker 2: her shift, and while I was walking her home, I

1269
00:56:58,680 --> 00:57:02,080
Speaker 2: told her about the higher incident. I told her how

1270
00:57:02,080 --> 00:57:04,160
Speaker 2: we accidentally saw one of the photos we took all

1271
00:57:04,160 --> 00:57:06,680
Speaker 2: those months ago and told her how he's been really

1272
00:57:06,719 --> 00:57:09,319
Speaker 2: weird about wanting to see more. She said he was

1273
00:57:09,360 --> 00:57:11,960
Speaker 2: being weirder than usual, but never would have guessed that.

1274
00:57:12,480 --> 00:57:14,759
Speaker 2: She wasn't mad at me and understood that it was

1275
00:57:14,760 --> 00:57:17,440
Speaker 2: all an accident, which was good. I was scared she

1276
00:57:17,480 --> 00:57:19,840
Speaker 2: would think I showed him on purpose and get mad

1277
00:57:19,880 --> 00:57:22,640
Speaker 2: at me, but the opposite happened. I also asked her

1278
00:57:22,800 --> 00:57:25,200
Speaker 2: if he had been weird to her behind my back,

1279
00:57:25,400 --> 00:57:27,960
Speaker 2: or if he said or did anything to make her uncomfortable.

1280
00:57:28,280 --> 00:57:30,440
Speaker 2: She said not that she can think of, and I

1281
00:57:30,520 --> 00:57:32,920
Speaker 2: mentioned the time I saw him staring at her chest

1282
00:57:32,960 --> 00:57:35,640
Speaker 2: in my old post, and she said she even she

1283
00:57:35,720 --> 00:57:39,000
Speaker 2: barely even noticed. She just always found him annoying, and

1284
00:57:39,040 --> 00:57:40,880
Speaker 2: she's glad that I'm starting to see the same thing.

1285
00:57:41,520 --> 00:57:44,000
Speaker 2: Guess I was just blind to his weirdness. I told

1286
00:57:44,040 --> 00:57:46,640
Speaker 2: her I'm cutting him off, and she said she'll support

1287
00:57:46,680 --> 00:57:48,880
Speaker 2: me all the way, which is good and really quick.

1288
00:57:48,960 --> 00:57:51,760
Speaker 2: Just to clarify, there's nothing wrong with being weird. This

1289
00:57:51,800 --> 00:57:57,680
Speaker 2: particular brand of uncomfortable behavior gross, this weird not really acceptable.

1290
00:57:57,800 --> 00:57:58,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's the gross weird.

1291
00:57:59,040 --> 00:58:01,600
Speaker 2: As a weird guy, I have plenty of friends.

1292
00:58:01,360 --> 00:58:03,880
Speaker 3: As an awkward guy. I have plenty of friends, but

1293
00:58:04,240 --> 00:58:06,480
Speaker 3: this goes past weird. It's just gross. It's gross the

1294
00:58:06,520 --> 00:58:08,960
Speaker 3: fact that he's so he's pushing. He's pushing, like I

1295
00:58:09,040 --> 00:58:09,880
Speaker 3: just want to look at it. I just want to

1296
00:58:09,960 --> 00:58:11,160
Speaker 3: keep looking at it. Dude, stop, let it go.

1297
00:58:11,280 --> 00:58:13,600
Speaker 2: Dude, better yet, get your own girlfriend. I haven't spoken

1298
00:58:13,640 --> 00:58:16,479
Speaker 2: to him yet. Quite frankly, I'm a bit scared because

1299
00:58:16,480 --> 00:58:19,640
Speaker 2: I'm about to cut off a half a decade long friendship,

1300
00:58:19,960 --> 00:58:22,240
Speaker 2: so I just need a bit of time to process it.

1301
00:58:22,600 --> 00:58:24,520
Speaker 2: But I haven't spoken to him in a few days.

1302
00:58:24,600 --> 00:58:28,360
Speaker 2: He has no access to my girlfriend. We don't live together,

1303
00:58:28,440 --> 00:58:30,480
Speaker 2: so there's no reason for him to like show up

1304
00:58:30,520 --> 00:58:32,840
Speaker 2: at her house or anything. He sent me a text

1305
00:58:32,880 --> 00:58:35,600
Speaker 2: like three days ago, and I haven't responded. I don't

1306
00:58:35,600 --> 00:58:37,800
Speaker 2: know if I should just block him or talk to

1307
00:58:37,920 --> 00:58:40,760
Speaker 2: him in person. My girlfriend says that she wants to

1308
00:58:40,760 --> 00:58:43,120
Speaker 2: scream at him for being a weirdo, but I don't

1309
00:58:43,160 --> 00:58:45,520
Speaker 2: want him getting in her face if something happens, so

1310
00:58:45,720 --> 00:58:48,120
Speaker 2: I told her I'll be doing it when we are alone.

1311
00:58:48,200 --> 00:58:50,640
Speaker 2: I don't want her getting involved. If things get down

1312
00:58:50,680 --> 00:58:53,520
Speaker 2: to it. Things get down to it, oh, he says,

1313
00:58:53,600 --> 00:58:55,480
Speaker 2: good by the way you can always get down to

1314
00:58:55,520 --> 00:58:59,280
Speaker 2: it with us. Every weekday at three pm PST when

1315
00:58:59,320 --> 00:59:04,040
Speaker 2: we go live on YouTube, Facebook, TikTok, and Twitch. Just

1316
00:59:04,120 --> 00:59:06,200
Speaker 2: tap on our profile and you're in.

1317
00:59:06,600 --> 00:59:08,480
Speaker 3: But you know what, we might be live right now,

1318
00:59:08,560 --> 00:59:10,120
Speaker 3: but don't check that out just yet. We got a

1319
00:59:10,120 --> 00:59:11,400
Speaker 3: little bit more and then you can go.

1320
00:59:11,480 --> 00:59:13,680
Speaker 2: You got just a little bit left either, a little bit.

1321
00:59:13,720 --> 00:59:18,920
Speaker 2: Younger friendships inevitably tend to come and go. There is

1322
00:59:18,920 --> 00:59:22,680
Speaker 2: an ebb and flow, and this person, even though you've

1323
00:59:22,680 --> 00:59:25,800
Speaker 2: been friends with him for five years, is not displaying

1324
00:59:25,880 --> 00:59:29,840
Speaker 2: the characteristics that one should value in a friend. You know,

1325
00:59:30,160 --> 00:59:33,400
Speaker 2: he's not respecting your girlfriend, he's not respecting your boundaries,

1326
00:59:33,440 --> 00:59:36,200
Speaker 2: he's not really even respecting you. He's got no respect

1327
00:59:36,240 --> 00:59:38,480
Speaker 2: for you. And who's to say? You know, you can

1328
00:59:38,520 --> 00:59:41,480
Speaker 2: cut him off real, you know, be mature about it,

1329
00:59:41,520 --> 00:59:43,360
Speaker 2: don't go off the handle, Just be like, look, man,

1330
00:59:43,400 --> 00:59:46,680
Speaker 2: your behavior is unacceptable to me, and I don't think

1331
00:59:46,680 --> 00:59:49,040
Speaker 2: we should be spending time together right now. And y'all

1332
00:59:49,080 --> 00:59:52,080
Speaker 2: will drift apart, but you never know what the future holds.

1333
00:59:52,240 --> 00:59:54,480
Speaker 2: He could take grey change and get you as a person,

1334
00:59:54,480 --> 00:59:55,959
Speaker 2: and then y'all would be friends again.

1335
00:59:56,040 --> 00:59:57,960
Speaker 3: I think maybe if you guys have a conversation and

1336
00:59:58,000 --> 01:00:01,200
Speaker 3: he apologizes and he stops the your grossness stuff and

1337
01:00:01,280 --> 01:00:03,640
Speaker 3: apologizes to your girlfriend like, hey, I'm sorry, Like I'm

1338
01:00:03,880 --> 01:00:05,880
Speaker 3: you know, I acted it that way. People grow up,

1339
01:00:05,880 --> 01:00:08,520
Speaker 3: people mature. But again, if you're still continuing the grossness,

1340
01:00:08,640 --> 01:00:09,960
Speaker 3: then yeah.

1341
01:00:09,600 --> 01:00:12,080
Speaker 2: A second thought on what you just said, you're this

1342
01:00:12,160 --> 01:00:14,240
Speaker 2: is you're really the only friend that you've had. There

1343
01:00:14,280 --> 01:00:16,840
Speaker 2: are plenty of people out there who will be your friend. Man.

1344
01:00:17,040 --> 01:00:20,240
Speaker 2: I know it, it's hard to make friends because it's scary,

1345
01:00:20,320 --> 01:00:22,600
Speaker 2: like you said, but like everybody's scared, I think it's

1346
01:00:22,680 --> 01:00:26,760
Speaker 2: easier once you realize that literally everybody out there is

1347
01:00:26,920 --> 01:00:29,280
Speaker 2: scared of the exact same thing, which is like talking

1348
01:00:29,280 --> 01:00:31,080
Speaker 2: to a stranger and trying to make new friends and

1349
01:00:31,080 --> 01:00:34,520
Speaker 2: putting yourself out there. Pretty much everybody is uncomfortable in

1350
01:00:34,560 --> 01:00:35,040
Speaker 2: that scenario.

1351
01:00:35,120 --> 01:00:37,800
Speaker 3: You go's your girlfriend and she has friends, and they

1352
01:00:37,800 --> 01:00:39,680
Speaker 3: may have friends, and guess what, it just branches out.

1353
01:00:39,720 --> 01:00:41,440
Speaker 3: It just they have friends. They could be your friends,

1354
01:00:41,560 --> 01:00:42,840
Speaker 3: or you know, it just keeps going.

1355
01:00:42,880 --> 01:00:45,520
Speaker 2: Find a hobby that you enjoy. You know, I personally

1356
01:00:45,560 --> 01:00:49,800
Speaker 2: love pickleball, and the pickleball community is fantastic. It's a

1357
01:00:49,840 --> 01:00:51,720
Speaker 2: great way to meet new people and make friends.

1358
01:00:51,800 --> 01:00:55,680
Speaker 3: I love baseball and sports and video games.

1359
01:00:55,840 --> 01:00:58,000
Speaker 2: Look at that, we've known each other for ten years, folks,

1360
01:00:58,200 --> 01:01:01,400
Speaker 2: it's beautiful. Let's finish this story. I also plan on

1361
01:01:01,520 --> 01:01:04,640
Speaker 2: going to therapy to get some more confidence, because some

1362
01:01:04,680 --> 01:01:06,520
Speaker 2: people in the comments were saying that I need to

1363
01:01:06,560 --> 01:01:09,360
Speaker 2: work on my confidence and issues on being alone, and

1364
01:01:09,400 --> 01:01:11,640
Speaker 2: I know that it's true. I've been holding back from

1365
01:01:11,640 --> 01:01:13,840
Speaker 2: doing so for many years. But I want to make

1366
01:01:13,880 --> 01:01:15,960
Speaker 2: things work with my girlfriend and I want to become

1367
01:01:15,960 --> 01:01:18,000
Speaker 2: a better man for her. So if something like this

1368
01:01:18,040 --> 01:01:20,080
Speaker 2: happens in the future, then I'll be quicker to act

1369
01:01:20,160 --> 01:01:22,680
Speaker 2: rather than prolonging it. Yeah. I didn't even think about that.

1370
01:01:22,680 --> 01:01:25,800
Speaker 2: But therapy, just a general note, therapy is helpful for

1371
01:01:25,960 --> 01:01:28,720
Speaker 2: like pretty much everyone who does it if you've got

1372
01:01:28,760 --> 01:01:31,360
Speaker 2: a good therapist that you connect with. Once again, thank

1373
01:01:31,400 --> 01:01:33,920
Speaker 2: you for the advice. It was so obvious in hindsight,

1374
01:01:34,040 --> 01:01:36,400
Speaker 2: but I was holding back a lot and I regret

1375
01:01:36,440 --> 01:01:40,280
Speaker 2: it so much. And that is the end of that story.

1376
01:01:40,360 --> 01:01:43,200
Speaker 3: Okay. I have a couple end notes there. One to

1377
01:01:43,320 --> 01:01:45,480
Speaker 3: everyone out there and to Opie. You got to know

1378
01:01:45,520 --> 01:01:46,960
Speaker 3: what you're showing with your photos.

1379
01:01:47,280 --> 01:01:49,960
Speaker 2: For God's sakes, be aware of what's on your camera

1380
01:01:50,080 --> 01:01:50,960
Speaker 2: role and.

1381
01:01:50,840 --> 01:01:54,960
Speaker 3: Then two accidents happen. That's okay. Sometimes you show your

1382
01:01:54,960 --> 01:01:58,240
Speaker 3: photo role and yeah oops, oopsies if you're gross, don't

1383
01:01:58,240 --> 01:01:58,600
Speaker 3: be gross.

1384
01:01:58,640 --> 01:02:00,840
Speaker 2: You wouldn't let it go. It's just great and incessant

1385
01:02:00,840 --> 01:02:03,320
Speaker 2: and not cool, not okay. You know, the reality is

1386
01:02:03,320 --> 01:02:05,960
Speaker 2: is that a lot of adults have adult pictures.

1387
01:02:06,120 --> 01:02:07,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, with your adults.

1388
01:02:07,640 --> 01:02:10,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, it didn't start with the smartphone. That's

1389
01:02:10,600 --> 01:02:13,520
Speaker 2: been going on for a long long time. Like I'm

1390
01:02:13,520 --> 01:02:17,200
Speaker 2: pretty sure there's like like little naked paintings in like

1391
01:02:17,360 --> 01:02:21,040
Speaker 2: cave paintings. Again, spicy picks have been going around for

1392
01:02:21,080 --> 01:02:23,600
Speaker 2: a long time. Just know, if you're about to show

1393
01:02:23,600 --> 01:02:25,720
Speaker 2: your friend you're hidden folder.

1394
01:02:25,400 --> 01:02:27,560
Speaker 3: You just be wary of what you're doing too. You

1395
01:02:27,600 --> 01:02:30,240
Speaker 3: can make friends, friendships and what you can make new ones.

1396
01:02:30,480 --> 01:02:32,240
Speaker 3: Don't be afraid. And I know it's like that's a

1397
01:02:32,280 --> 01:02:32,880
Speaker 3: confidence thing.

1398
01:02:33,040 --> 01:02:35,440
Speaker 2: Go to therapy and maybe you know the therapy can

1399
01:02:35,520 --> 01:02:36,800
Speaker 2: help you work on your confidence.