WEBVTT - Keep up with circumstantial friends 

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.

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<v Speaker 1>Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.

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<v Speaker 1>Today's tip is that you can keep up with friends

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<v Speaker 1>of convenience and circumstance, even when those circumstances change. Through

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<v Speaker 1>our lives, we've all gotten to know people just because

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<v Speaker 1>it was really, really convenient to talk to them. In college,

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<v Speaker 1>maybe you had the people you sat with in chemistry

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<v Speaker 1>or Spanish, or who were assigned to the same bathroom

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<v Speaker 1>in your dorm. In adult life, we likewise wind up

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<v Speaker 1>with acquaintances we didn't necessarily seek out, but who we

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<v Speaker 1>become friendly with. Nonetheless, the woman on the mat next

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<v Speaker 1>to you and yoga class, the work colleague who's cupicle

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<v Speaker 1>you pass by on the way to the kitchen. The

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<v Speaker 1>guy who gets on the train with you and gets

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<v Speaker 1>off at the same stop. You can wind up seeing

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<v Speaker 1>these people several times a week, and so they become

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<v Speaker 1>important to us, and these relationships give us a sense

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<v Speaker 1>of connection, rooted nous and community, even though our interactions

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<v Speaker 1>are limited to a particular experience. You aren't necessarily going

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<v Speaker 1>to ask the train guy about his deepest hopes and fears,

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<v Speaker 1>but he's got a funny story to tell about what

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<v Speaker 1>happened on his last vacation. Then life changes. Suddenly you

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<v Speaker 1>don't see these people five times a week. When that happens,

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<v Speaker 1>these relationships have to change too, or you risk losing them.

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<v Speaker 1>You've probably had friends of circumstance with him, you've lost

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<v Speaker 1>touch with after you change jobs, or when your kids

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<v Speaker 1>change schools. And of course all of us have had

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<v Speaker 1>our lives disrupted by COVID and suddenly you don't see

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<v Speaker 1>the woman on the yoga mat, the colleague by the kitchen,

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<v Speaker 1>or the guy from your train anymore. It's natural that

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<v Speaker 1>friendships wax and wayne, but a change in circumstance doesn't

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<v Speaker 1>have to mean the end of a friendship. There are

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<v Speaker 1>several ways we can maintain these casual ties even when

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<v Speaker 1>they are no longer so automatic. To begin with, it's

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<v Speaker 1>helpful to have contact information for your daily life friends.

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<v Speaker 1>You don't want to have to rely on running into

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<v Speaker 1>them to be able to communicate, so offer your contact information.

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<v Speaker 1>One easy way to do this is that they may

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<v Speaker 1>share something interesting with you. Hey, can you text me

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<v Speaker 1>the name of that restaurant you liked? Can you email

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<v Speaker 1>me that article you mentioned? Having each other's contact information

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<v Speaker 1>means you are equipped to maintain your relationship in new

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<v Speaker 1>ways if daily life changes. Here are some simple ideas

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<v Speaker 1>for doing just that. First, you can send holiday cards.

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<v Speaker 1>This is a pretty all inclusive way to keep in

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<v Speaker 1>touch with everyone you've gathered in your life. I believe

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<v Speaker 1>in sending personal outs whenever possible. It does not take

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<v Speaker 1>much time. Even if it did. People are a good

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<v Speaker 1>use of time. If you are going to bother to

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<v Speaker 1>send a card, you can take the extra two minutes

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<v Speaker 1>to write something about life and your memories together. Christmas

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<v Speaker 1>is obviously a popular option, but you could become the

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<v Speaker 1>kind of person who sends Fourth of July cards whatever

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<v Speaker 1>works for you. You You can write a quick text or

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<v Speaker 1>email when something you see or do makes you think

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<v Speaker 1>of a friend from a former phase of life. When

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<v Speaker 1>you do an online workout video that your jim buddy

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<v Speaker 1>told you about, text to let her know you liked it.

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<v Speaker 1>When you host a Valentine's Day party for your son's class,

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<v Speaker 1>text the parent you collaborated with on last year's Valentine's

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<v Speaker 1>party with funny memories that you shared. Another simple and

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<v Speaker 1>authentic way to reach out to contextual friends is by

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<v Speaker 1>offering recommendations that you think they'd appreciate. If every Monday

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<v Speaker 1>morning you and the person at the desk near yours

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<v Speaker 1>used to tell each other about the restaurants you tried

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<v Speaker 1>over the weekend, you can still let him know when

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<v Speaker 1>you discover a new restaurant, even if you are no

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<v Speaker 1>longer colleagues. Texting or email is easy, but you can

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<v Speaker 1>also do something crazy like picking up the phone. When

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<v Speaker 1>you are intentional about maintaining relationships with people whose daily

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<v Speaker 1>lives used to intersect with yours, you may end up

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<v Speaker 1>forming close friendships with them that transcend the context you

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<v Speaker 1>used to share. But even if a deeper friendship doesn't develop,

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<v Speaker 1>it's still good to have ties to former times in

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<v Speaker 1>your life. And who knows when you might be able

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<v Speaker 1>to help each other with random things. Life is long.

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<v Speaker 1>Your grown child moves to Boston, and hey, train guy

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<v Speaker 1>now lives in Boston and knows about an apartment that

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<v Speaker 1>just came on the market. Lucky that you kept in

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<v Speaker 1>touch in the meantime. This is Laura. Thanks for listening,

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<v Speaker 1>and here's to making the most of our time. Hey, everybody,

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<v Speaker 1>I'd love to hear from you. You can send me

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<v Speaker 1>your tips your questions or anything else. Just connect with

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<v Speaker 1>me on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram at Before Breakfast pod.

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<v Speaker 1>That's B the number four, then Breakfast p o D.

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<v Speaker 1>You can also shoot me an email at Before Breakfast

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<v Speaker 1>podcast at i heeart media dot com that Before Breakfast

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<v Speaker 1>is spelled out with all the letters. Thanks so much,

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<v Speaker 1>I look forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is

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<v Speaker 1>a production of I heart Radio. For more podcasts from

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<v Speaker 1>my heart Radio, visit the i heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,

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