1 00:00:03,440 --> 00:00:06,680 Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio. 2 00:00:09,200 --> 00:00:14,520 Speaker 1: Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. 3 00:00:15,400 --> 00:00:18,239 Speaker 1: Today's tip is that you can keep up with friends 4 00:00:18,320 --> 00:00:25,000 Speaker 1: of convenience and circumstance, even when those circumstances change. Through 5 00:00:25,040 --> 00:00:27,760 Speaker 1: our lives, we've all gotten to know people just because 6 00:00:27,760 --> 00:00:32,040 Speaker 1: it was really, really convenient to talk to them. In college, 7 00:00:32,080 --> 00:00:34,080 Speaker 1: maybe you had the people you sat with in chemistry 8 00:00:34,159 --> 00:00:37,120 Speaker 1: or Spanish, or who were assigned to the same bathroom 9 00:00:37,159 --> 00:00:40,640 Speaker 1: in your dorm. In adult life, we likewise wind up 10 00:00:40,680 --> 00:00:44,120 Speaker 1: with acquaintances we didn't necessarily seek out, but who we 11 00:00:44,200 --> 00:00:47,680 Speaker 1: become friendly with. Nonetheless, the woman on the mat next 12 00:00:47,720 --> 00:00:51,000 Speaker 1: to you and yoga class, the work colleague who's cupicle 13 00:00:51,040 --> 00:00:53,440 Speaker 1: you pass by on the way to the kitchen. The 14 00:00:53,479 --> 00:00:55,320 Speaker 1: guy who gets on the train with you and gets 15 00:00:55,320 --> 00:00:58,160 Speaker 1: off at the same stop. You can wind up seeing 16 00:00:58,200 --> 00:01:02,480 Speaker 1: these people several times a week, and so they become 17 00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:05,959 Speaker 1: important to us, and these relationships give us a sense 18 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:11,280 Speaker 1: of connection, rooted nous and community, even though our interactions 19 00:01:11,319 --> 00:01:15,679 Speaker 1: are limited to a particular experience. You aren't necessarily going 20 00:01:15,720 --> 00:01:19,000 Speaker 1: to ask the train guy about his deepest hopes and fears, 21 00:01:19,440 --> 00:01:22,160 Speaker 1: but he's got a funny story to tell about what 22 00:01:22,280 --> 00:01:29,319 Speaker 1: happened on his last vacation. Then life changes. Suddenly you 23 00:01:29,480 --> 00:01:33,440 Speaker 1: don't see these people five times a week. When that happens, 24 00:01:33,480 --> 00:01:38,600 Speaker 1: these relationships have to change too, or you risk losing them. 25 00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:41,759 Speaker 1: You've probably had friends of circumstance with him, you've lost 26 00:01:41,800 --> 00:01:44,520 Speaker 1: touch with after you change jobs, or when your kids 27 00:01:44,600 --> 00:01:47,720 Speaker 1: change schools. And of course all of us have had 28 00:01:47,720 --> 00:01:51,840 Speaker 1: our lives disrupted by COVID and suddenly you don't see 29 00:01:51,840 --> 00:01:54,720 Speaker 1: the woman on the yoga mat, the colleague by the kitchen, 30 00:01:55,480 --> 00:01:59,680 Speaker 1: or the guy from your train anymore. It's natural that 31 00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:03,480 Speaker 1: friendships wax and wayne, but a change in circumstance doesn't 32 00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:06,880 Speaker 1: have to mean the end of a friendship. There are 33 00:02:06,920 --> 00:02:09,959 Speaker 1: several ways we can maintain these casual ties even when 34 00:02:09,960 --> 00:02:14,280 Speaker 1: they are no longer so automatic. To begin with, it's 35 00:02:14,280 --> 00:02:18,040 Speaker 1: helpful to have contact information for your daily life friends. 36 00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:21,560 Speaker 1: You don't want to have to rely on running into 37 00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:26,320 Speaker 1: them to be able to communicate, so offer your contact information. 38 00:02:27,040 --> 00:02:29,079 Speaker 1: One easy way to do this is that they may 39 00:02:29,120 --> 00:02:32,720 Speaker 1: share something interesting with you. Hey, can you text me 40 00:02:32,760 --> 00:02:35,760 Speaker 1: the name of that restaurant you liked? Can you email 41 00:02:35,800 --> 00:02:40,240 Speaker 1: me that article you mentioned? Having each other's contact information 42 00:02:40,280 --> 00:02:43,120 Speaker 1: means you are equipped to maintain your relationship in new 43 00:02:43,160 --> 00:02:47,520 Speaker 1: ways if daily life changes. Here are some simple ideas 44 00:02:47,560 --> 00:02:51,400 Speaker 1: for doing just that. First, you can send holiday cards. 45 00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:54,880 Speaker 1: This is a pretty all inclusive way to keep in 46 00:02:54,919 --> 00:02:58,760 Speaker 1: touch with everyone you've gathered in your life. I believe 47 00:02:58,840 --> 00:03:03,160 Speaker 1: in sending personal outs whenever possible. It does not take 48 00:03:03,480 --> 00:03:07,679 Speaker 1: much time. Even if it did. People are a good 49 00:03:07,760 --> 00:03:10,320 Speaker 1: use of time. If you are going to bother to 50 00:03:10,400 --> 00:03:12,680 Speaker 1: send a card, you can take the extra two minutes 51 00:03:12,720 --> 00:03:16,440 Speaker 1: to write something about life and your memories together. Christmas 52 00:03:16,520 --> 00:03:19,120 Speaker 1: is obviously a popular option, but you could become the 53 00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:22,760 Speaker 1: kind of person who sends Fourth of July cards whatever 54 00:03:22,840 --> 00:03:26,160 Speaker 1: works for you. You You can write a quick text or 55 00:03:26,200 --> 00:03:28,839 Speaker 1: email when something you see or do makes you think 56 00:03:28,840 --> 00:03:31,679 Speaker 1: of a friend from a former phase of life. When 57 00:03:31,720 --> 00:03:34,400 Speaker 1: you do an online workout video that your jim buddy 58 00:03:34,440 --> 00:03:37,360 Speaker 1: told you about, text to let her know you liked it. 59 00:03:38,160 --> 00:03:41,160 Speaker 1: When you host a Valentine's Day party for your son's class, 60 00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:45,240 Speaker 1: text the parent you collaborated with on last year's Valentine's 61 00:03:45,240 --> 00:03:50,120 Speaker 1: party with funny memories that you shared. Another simple and 62 00:03:50,160 --> 00:03:53,440 Speaker 1: authentic way to reach out to contextual friends is by 63 00:03:53,480 --> 00:03:58,000 Speaker 1: offering recommendations that you think they'd appreciate. If every Monday 64 00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:00,320 Speaker 1: morning you and the person at the desk near yours 65 00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:02,560 Speaker 1: used to tell each other about the restaurants you tried 66 00:04:02,600 --> 00:04:05,400 Speaker 1: over the weekend, you can still let him know when 67 00:04:05,400 --> 00:04:08,480 Speaker 1: you discover a new restaurant, even if you are no 68 00:04:08,560 --> 00:04:12,800 Speaker 1: longer colleagues. Texting or email is easy, but you can 69 00:04:12,840 --> 00:04:17,440 Speaker 1: also do something crazy like picking up the phone. When 70 00:04:17,440 --> 00:04:21,279 Speaker 1: you are intentional about maintaining relationships with people whose daily 71 00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:24,720 Speaker 1: lives used to intersect with yours, you may end up 72 00:04:24,760 --> 00:04:28,880 Speaker 1: forming close friendships with them that transcend the context you 73 00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:33,440 Speaker 1: used to share. But even if a deeper friendship doesn't develop, 74 00:04:33,960 --> 00:04:37,200 Speaker 1: it's still good to have ties to former times in 75 00:04:37,240 --> 00:04:40,240 Speaker 1: your life. And who knows when you might be able 76 00:04:40,279 --> 00:04:44,279 Speaker 1: to help each other with random things. Life is long. 77 00:04:45,279 --> 00:04:49,200 Speaker 1: Your grown child moves to Boston, and hey, train guy 78 00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:52,880 Speaker 1: now lives in Boston and knows about an apartment that 79 00:04:53,040 --> 00:04:56,479 Speaker 1: just came on the market. Lucky that you kept in 80 00:04:56,520 --> 00:05:02,040 Speaker 1: touch in the meantime. This is Laura. Thanks for listening, 81 00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:12,479 Speaker 1: and here's to making the most of our time. Hey, everybody, 82 00:05:12,720 --> 00:05:14,800 Speaker 1: I'd love to hear from you. You can send me 83 00:05:14,839 --> 00:05:18,479 Speaker 1: your tips your questions or anything else. Just connect with 84 00:05:18,520 --> 00:05:22,920 Speaker 1: me on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram at Before Breakfast pod. 85 00:05:23,600 --> 00:05:27,960 Speaker 1: That's B the number four, then Breakfast p o D. 86 00:05:28,800 --> 00:05:31,640 Speaker 1: You can also shoot me an email at Before Breakfast 87 00:05:31,720 --> 00:05:35,120 Speaker 1: podcast at i heeart media dot com that Before Breakfast 88 00:05:35,240 --> 00:05:37,880 Speaker 1: is spelled out with all the letters. Thanks so much, 89 00:05:38,040 --> 00:05:46,120 Speaker 1: I look forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is 90 00:05:46,160 --> 00:05:49,400 Speaker 1: a production of I heart Radio. For more podcasts from 91 00:05:49,400 --> 00:05:53,400 Speaker 1: my heart Radio, visit the i heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, 92 00:05:53,640 --> 00:05:55,520 Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.