WEBVTT - Off My Chest | Golden Hour

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome back everybody to Bachelor Happy Hour's Golden Hour. Thanks

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<v Speaker 1>again for joining us, and we're always so excited to

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<v Speaker 1>be back, aren't.

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<v Speaker 2>We, Kathy, We are and I love these days because

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<v Speaker 2>today we're going to be answering more of your fan questions.

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<v Speaker 2>Make sure you're submitting those. We love reading them. All

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<v Speaker 2>you gotta do is go to Bachelor Nation dot com

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<v Speaker 2>slash Golden Hour and submit away.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, send us everything, your questions, your updates, and your opinions,

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<v Speaker 1>all of it. You can also dm us on Instagram

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<v Speaker 1>at Bachelor Happy Hour. Oh kay, let's talk about our cruise.

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<v Speaker 2>Guess this Bachelor Okay, if you haven't heard, folks, Bachelor

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<v Speaker 2>Nation vacation at sea has finally been announced, and we

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<v Speaker 2>are so excited. You and I are going. Lots of

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<v Speaker 2>Bachelor Nation people are going to be on there, lots

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<v Speaker 2>of friends and couples, and.

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<v Speaker 1>It's just going to be a party.

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<v Speaker 2>I think it's going to be a NonStop party. I

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<v Speaker 2>have never been to Puerta Plata, but who doesn't love

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<v Speaker 2>a good cruise with us with dancing surprises. You know

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<v Speaker 2>what I'm most excited about, Susan is meeting so many

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<v Speaker 2>of the fans exactly, and I.

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<v Speaker 1>Write to us, we chat with them online. We don't

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<v Speaker 1>know what they look like or they are, you know

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<v Speaker 1>what I mean, just by their notes. And and we're

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<v Speaker 1>going to be doing a live podcast.

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<v Speaker 2>A live podcast, so that's going to be really fun. Also,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, folks out there, a lot of you are single,

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<v Speaker 2>as am I, and so I know it gets expensive

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<v Speaker 2>to go on a cruise, but there is a Facebook

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<v Speaker 2>page that you can go to. It's called Official Bachelor

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<v Speaker 2>Nation Vacation See Cruisers group. Go on Facebook, find that

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<v Speaker 2>group and join. It's a great way to make new friends,

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<v Speaker 2>maybe find a roommate for the cruise. It's a win win.

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<v Speaker 2>You're going to get to meet a lot of your

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<v Speaker 2>Bachelor Nation favorites. There are so many. We don't even

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<v Speaker 2>know all the surprises yet. But trust me, this is

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<v Speaker 2>going to be a cruise of a lifetime. You're going

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<v Speaker 2>to have a blast. So if you haven't booked your

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<v Speaker 2>cabin yet, go and do it now because you are

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<v Speaker 2>going to be so excited to come. And we can't

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<v Speaker 2>quit excited.

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<v Speaker 1>Everybody there me too.

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<v Speaker 2>You know, people think that we see Bachelor Nation all

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<v Speaker 2>of our friends all the time. This is going to

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<v Speaker 2>be as much fun for us to see all of

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<v Speaker 2>you and chat with you, and you can see what

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<v Speaker 2>we're really like in person, which is exactly what we're

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<v Speaker 2>like on this podcast, by the way.

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<v Speaker 1>And you'll be seeing us everywhere on that ship, and

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<v Speaker 1>I'm sure there's going to be things that we'll be

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<v Speaker 1>involved with with you, right. Yeah, we don't know what.

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<v Speaker 2>It's gonna be great, but if we haven't sold you yet,

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<v Speaker 2>we're gonna be talking about it again. Book your cabin now.

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<v Speaker 2>Go to Bachelor Nation Vacation at Sea dot com and

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<v Speaker 2>book your cabin now. You will not regret this decision.

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<v Speaker 2>It's gonna be a blast. But okay, you're.

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<v Speaker 1>Gonna have fun. I'll have dinner with yous. I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>that's one of my favorite things to do, dinner and dancing.

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<v Speaker 2>And as long as I'm shying, as long as gonna

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<v Speaker 2>have to cook it, I'm.

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<v Speaker 1>In all right now. So before we dive into today's episode,

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<v Speaker 1>we want to do a little ketch up with you guys, like,

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<v Speaker 1>what's going on with us, Kathy, what's going on with you?

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<v Speaker 1>I know, for me, I'm getting excited because I'm sure

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<v Speaker 1>I mentioned it before. I was nominated for efficient of

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<v Speaker 1>the Year Award. I don't know if I'll get it,

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<v Speaker 1>but the time is come, Kata. I don't know what

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<v Speaker 1>to wear. I think I'm gonna do a post like

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<v Speaker 1>an evening gowns and have the fans pick one.

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<v Speaker 2>I've seen what the choice is. You're gonna look gorgeous

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<v Speaker 2>no matter what you choose. And I'm putting it out

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<v Speaker 2>to the universe right now. I think you're gonna win

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<v Speaker 2>this award.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh my gosh. I don't know about winning, but just

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<v Speaker 1>to be there. I mean, it's an international thing and

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<v Speaker 1>there's so many titles like you be blown Away. So

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<v Speaker 1>I'm going to meet people from all over the world.

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<v Speaker 2>That's so exciting and and you know what, I really

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<v Speaker 2>wanted to come, but I know, but I've got too

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<v Speaker 2>So this this event is in early December, mid December,

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<v Speaker 2>and I've got a couple of Christmas parties with my

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<v Speaker 2>family and my grandson has some music concerts, so I

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<v Speaker 2>can't be there. But trust and believe me, I will

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<v Speaker 2>be rooting for you, and you're gonna win. You're gonna

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<v Speaker 2>c cart home somebody.

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<v Speaker 1>Winning is just being around people that you love, and

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<v Speaker 1>you know, when you get called up to the stage.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it's like your nerves, oh people, you.

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<v Speaker 1>Know, harder than being behind the cameras. Like being on

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<v Speaker 1>the show was not difficult. I forgot the cameras were there.

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<v Speaker 1>I was just me. But this is like spotlight you know.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, you know it's funny you say that because you

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<v Speaker 2>and I just and Nancy just did a an event.

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<v Speaker 2>Uh in it was. It's a company out of Jersey.

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<v Speaker 2>It's called Wigs and Wishes and they provide wigs for

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<v Speaker 2>women and children fighting that dreaded disease called cancer, and

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<v Speaker 2>then they give wishes, the grant wishes to children. It's

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<v Speaker 2>not make a Wish foundation, it's a grassroots organization. And Susan,

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<v Speaker 2>Nancy and I were there as you know, sort of

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<v Speaker 2>celebrity hosts whatever. And you're right when you're we all

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<v Speaker 2>were up on stage and in that moment, it's much

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<v Speaker 2>harder when it's something heartfelt than just having fun.

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<v Speaker 1>Because the emotions take over. We're not known.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, well you know what, you will be great. I

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<v Speaker 2>have no doubt. I wish I could be there because

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<v Speaker 2>but no, Susan, I'm wishing you well from Afar.

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<v Speaker 1>Thank you, thank you, thank you, and your world.

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<v Speaker 2>What's going on not you know, not so much.

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<v Speaker 1>I know soon we'll be talking about the holidays and

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<v Speaker 1>people dating, and a lot of people get off. Some

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<v Speaker 1>people I know just get on the dating sites for

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<v Speaker 1>the holidays, which I think is crazy.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, you know, I'm not a big fan of dating

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<v Speaker 2>sites for a variety of reasons. I mean, hasn't been

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<v Speaker 2>successful for me, but I did so I've always said

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<v Speaker 2>to you I would love to meet somebody through just

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<v Speaker 2>a organic way, other than a dating site or whatever.

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<v Speaker 2>And I actually had a friend set me up with

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<v Speaker 2>a guy. And it's funny because the holidays really are tough,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, you go through all the memories and stuff,

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<v Speaker 2>but it would be nice to meet someone to share.

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<v Speaker 2>So what to share these things with? Right, So my

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<v Speaker 2>friend fixes me up and this guy Atlantic Coast Atlantic

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<v Speaker 2>East Coast guy. I'm from the East Coast. So I'm thinking, oh,

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<v Speaker 2>this could be it, because you know, I don't seem

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<v Speaker 2>to jive well with guys with ten gallon hats and

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<v Speaker 2>skull and holding up dead fish where I live in Texas.

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<v Speaker 2>Uh love Texas, but you know, there it is. And

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<v Speaker 2>so I thought, oh this, you know, this could be

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<v Speaker 2>my time. And interestingly, I knew his situation. His wife

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<v Speaker 2>had passed away, and you know your mind going in dating.

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<v Speaker 2>It's so different in our age, right, and so I'm

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<v Speaker 2>thinking this could be great. On the other hand, this

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<v Speaker 2>guy's lost his wife in the not too distant past.

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<v Speaker 2>And honestly, Susan, you know, I called you. We talked

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<v Speaker 2>about it, like, what do I do, Susan? Do I

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<v Speaker 2>jump in and try to date the guy?

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<v Speaker 1>Knowing that maybe to I give that advice to anyone.

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<v Speaker 1>You have to take a chance, right, It doesn't always

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<v Speaker 1>work out in your favor, but you need to take

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<v Speaker 1>the chance. It stings, it stinks.

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<v Speaker 2>But here's the thing for me, I knew that she

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<v Speaker 2>hadn't been gone that long, and so I was like,

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<v Speaker 2>and we all know men seem to find another partner

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<v Speaker 2>sooner than women and to find their partner. So I thought, well,

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<v Speaker 2>I can jump in or not. But if I don't

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<v Speaker 2>jump in, then I don't have a chance. And sure

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<v Speaker 2>enough I jumped in, and sure enough it became very yeah, well,

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<v Speaker 2>very quickly that he wanted somebody local, you know that,

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<v Speaker 2>And so I'm left with but.

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<v Speaker 1>From what you told me, he wanted somebody that needed

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<v Speaker 1>him and needed somebody to depend on his finances is whatever.

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<v Speaker 1>You're very independent, and.

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<v Speaker 2>I am only to a point, Susan.

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<v Speaker 1>I know I love our independence, yeah, and sometimes, And

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<v Speaker 1>I've been told this all my life, and I want

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<v Speaker 1>to know if you feel the same. Men say they

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<v Speaker 1>want an independent woman, but they really don't.

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<v Speaker 2>And can I tell you are singing my song. I've

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<v Speaker 2>said that a hundred times. They really want someone who needs,

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<v Speaker 2>someone who depends on them. At least that's been my experience.

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<v Speaker 2>So that was a tough one for me, especially with

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<v Speaker 2>the holidays approaching. But you know what, honestly, I was

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<v Speaker 2>at a Gallo luncheon today and I was talking with

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<v Speaker 2>the woman next to me and we were talking about

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<v Speaker 2>She recognized me from the show, and she said, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>you're such an inspiration. I can't same old thing. I

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<v Speaker 2>can't believe there aren't men just lighting up at your door.

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<v Speaker 2>And I said to her, even if I never meet

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<v Speaker 2>another man or the man, you know what, Susan, I

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<v Speaker 2>am grateful. I have three great kids, I have five

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<v Speaker 2>great grandchildren. I have girlfriends, and I have to be

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<v Speaker 2>happy with that. And I think sometimes that's more important

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<v Speaker 2>being happy with who I am.

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<v Speaker 1>It is, But when you're in the moment and you're

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<v Speaker 1>thinking about saving somebody, you forget all that.

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<v Speaker 2>And I would love to meet someone. I would, but

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<v Speaker 2>you know what the lesson I learned is, uh, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>you have to go for it. If the chance, if

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<v Speaker 2>you've given the chance, you have to go for it.

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<v Speaker 2>But also I came off of it dis very disappointed.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, you asked me, uh, what I would do

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<v Speaker 2>if he called me in a month and said it

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<v Speaker 2>didn't work out with the other woman he met, And

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<v Speaker 2>I said I would say no, thank you, because no.

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<v Speaker 1>You said he'd have to like move mountains and have

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<v Speaker 1>not sitting out there.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I said it would. Actually, you're right, I said

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<v Speaker 2>it would have for you. I said there would have

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<v Speaker 2>to be a very grand gesture, like naming a yacht

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<v Speaker 2>after me. Yeah, you're right. I did say.

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<v Speaker 1>We have a friend that's about to meet somebody and

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<v Speaker 1>it's long distance and they've been chatting a while. I

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<v Speaker 1>won't mention it any names. And yeah, I know you're

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<v Speaker 1>nervous about it. I'm more excited about it. Kathy is

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<v Speaker 1>more logical about.

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<v Speaker 2>This, you know why, because it's it's it's not that

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<v Speaker 2>I'm logical, Like when I hear that. I don't want

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<v Speaker 2>to see anybody hurt. I don't like that. And so

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<v Speaker 2>you know, as the holidays are coming, I'm hoping that, uh,

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<v Speaker 2>that guy is right around the corner for me. But

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<v Speaker 2>if not, I have so many things in my life

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<v Speaker 2>to be grateful for and that's what I'm holding on

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<v Speaker 2>to absolutely.

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<v Speaker 1>And with that said, it's leave season. Can I tell.

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<v Speaker 2>You it's what's the leaves falling? Oh?

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<v Speaker 1>I get out there with my blower, Cathy, and no,

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<v Speaker 1>sooner did I finish the front. I get out back

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<v Speaker 1>and they're down in the front again.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, I have to tell you I had thirteen I

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<v Speaker 2>have a very small yard. You've been to my house.

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<v Speaker 2>I had thirteen bags of mult spread the other day.

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<v Speaker 2>I didn't think it through, Susan. The acorns. No, the

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<v Speaker 2>acorns are now falling on top of the mulcha. And

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<v Speaker 2>of I don't get the acorns out, then I have

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<v Speaker 2>oak trees. So every day talk about being anal. Every

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<v Speaker 2>day I go out and get at least one hundred

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<v Speaker 2>of the acorns that have fallen, because it's either getting

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<v Speaker 2>them before they sprout or pulling the mini trees out

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<v Speaker 2>of the This is what we do when we're not

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<v Speaker 2>doing our podcast. Friends, Susan is blowing leaves and Happy

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<v Speaker 2>is pulling out.

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<v Speaker 1>I put a post out there, let's start talking about

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<v Speaker 1>the mean people out in the world. People with their

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<v Speaker 1>comments again, I had the lower and the lawnmower, but

0:12:13.840 --> 0:12:16.480
<v Speaker 1>I hadn't opened the brown bags yet. They're the big

0:12:16.600 --> 0:12:20.760
<v Speaker 1>leaf bags to dumb people were commenting, what do you do?

0:12:20.840 --> 0:12:23.520
<v Speaker 1>Just blow the leaves and mulch them and leave them there,

0:12:23.760 --> 0:12:26.280
<v Speaker 1>And other people are saying, well, yeah, I think that's

0:12:26.360 --> 0:12:29.880
<v Speaker 1>like fertilization for you.

0:12:28.280 --> 0:12:32.360
<v Speaker 2>For you know what, Susan, I've got an idea for

0:12:32.400 --> 0:12:35.520
<v Speaker 2>a video for you. Take your blower and just blow

0:12:35.520 --> 0:12:38.000
<v Speaker 2>it at the camera and say all done.

0:12:38.960 --> 0:12:41.600
<v Speaker 1>There's somebody else. Why are you in white? It was

0:12:41.640 --> 0:12:44.520
<v Speaker 1>a hoodie. I mean, come on, I.

0:12:44.559 --> 0:12:47.600
<v Speaker 2>Was filthy, you know what. Lived interiously, go buy yourself

0:12:47.600 --> 0:12:51.719
<v Speaker 2>a cheap wedding gown at Goodwill and you got to

0:12:51.720 --> 0:12:53.840
<v Speaker 2>get you know what, give the people what they want.

0:12:53.880 --> 0:12:56.240
<v Speaker 2>That's what I say. Go get a wedding gown in

0:12:56.240 --> 0:12:57.800
<v Speaker 2>white and start blowing the leaves.

0:12:57.920 --> 0:13:01.560
<v Speaker 1>I'm going to go out my sparkly ill cut the lawn.

0:13:02.480 --> 0:13:04.319
<v Speaker 2>You know what. I gotta be careful though, because mister

0:13:04.360 --> 0:13:07.160
<v Speaker 2>Wright may be looking at my posts. So you know,

0:13:07.240 --> 0:13:08.960
<v Speaker 2>I don't want the guy thinking what kind of weird

0:13:09.040 --> 0:13:12.280
<v Speaker 2>I was out there picking up acorns like I don't.

0:13:12.040 --> 0:13:14.200
<v Speaker 1>Know, and she's not going to need me. Look at her.

0:13:14.200 --> 0:13:18.040
<v Speaker 1>She got her power tools going on. Remember that you're

0:13:18.160 --> 0:13:21.760
<v Speaker 1>Nancy Caven. We had our face done last year, and

0:13:22.040 --> 0:13:24.520
<v Speaker 1>Nancy Caven she was blowing the leaves because I was

0:13:24.559 --> 0:13:25.679
<v Speaker 1>out there with the baby right.

0:13:26.000 --> 0:13:27.760
<v Speaker 2>Oh my god, I forgot that.

0:13:27.920 --> 0:13:30.600
<v Speaker 1>A year already.

0:13:30.679 --> 0:13:34.040
<v Speaker 2>You know what. Times guys were having fun and we're

0:13:34.080 --> 0:13:42.760
<v Speaker 2>having a blast. Okay, it's time to get into the episode.

0:13:43.040 --> 0:13:46.240
<v Speaker 2>Let's start with the question of the day, my favorite time.

0:13:46.520 --> 0:13:49.560
<v Speaker 2>Are you ready, Susan, Let's do it. Here we go.

0:13:49.720 --> 0:13:54.160
<v Speaker 2>Since we've discussed settling in a relationship, our listeners are

0:13:54.280 --> 0:13:58.400
<v Speaker 2>curious on how you draw the line between compromise and

0:13:58.640 --> 0:14:02.400
<v Speaker 2>settling in a relationship. Ship. So what does compromise look

0:14:02.480 --> 0:14:08.200
<v Speaker 2>like in a relationship and can compromise turn into settling? Okay,

0:14:08.360 --> 0:14:11.600
<v Speaker 2>so you and I actually we have talked about this, yes,

0:14:12.080 --> 0:14:17.280
<v Speaker 2>and the the there is a difference I think between

0:14:17.360 --> 0:14:18.480
<v Speaker 2>the compromise to.

0:14:18.520 --> 0:14:22.920
<v Speaker 1>Me, compromises something smaller like settling is something that you

0:14:23.160 --> 0:14:26.680
<v Speaker 1>just knew, which is one of your red flags, and

0:14:26.720 --> 0:14:28.920
<v Speaker 1>you're going to go be okay with it. That would

0:14:28.920 --> 0:14:30.040
<v Speaker 1>be settling for me.

0:14:30.320 --> 0:14:35.000
<v Speaker 2>Well, I think I think compromise is is a healthy,

0:14:35.080 --> 0:14:40.800
<v Speaker 2>good choice. Compromising could be something like I don't want

0:14:40.840 --> 0:14:42.880
<v Speaker 2>to go for Chinese food. I want to go to

0:14:42.920 --> 0:14:45.640
<v Speaker 2>a steakhouse. Well, I, and your partner says something else.

0:14:45.680 --> 0:14:51.280
<v Speaker 2>I think those are compromises. I think settling has to

0:14:51.360 --> 0:14:57.360
<v Speaker 2>do with a compromise, compromising your own moral compass or

0:14:57.400 --> 0:15:00.360
<v Speaker 2>your value system. So it gets a little confusing when

0:15:00.440 --> 0:15:04.280
<v Speaker 2>you use that terminology. But settling is for me is

0:15:04.320 --> 0:15:07.920
<v Speaker 2>when I have been in a relationship and I know

0:15:08.240 --> 0:15:11.880
<v Speaker 2>it's not the relationship for me. I know that I'm

0:15:11.920 --> 0:15:15.920
<v Speaker 2>making decisions that don't sit well in my heart, in

0:15:15.960 --> 0:15:19.120
<v Speaker 2>my spirit, and I've sort of forced myself to do it.

0:15:19.360 --> 0:15:22.360
<v Speaker 2>Going to a steakhouse instead of a Chinese restaurant, to me,

0:15:23.240 --> 0:15:28.600
<v Speaker 2>is a compromise, and good relationships make those compromises.

0:15:28.920 --> 0:15:33.840
<v Speaker 1>Kathy, what do you feel could compromises turn into settling

0:15:34.000 --> 0:15:35.040
<v Speaker 1>in a relationship?

0:15:36.960 --> 0:15:39.360
<v Speaker 2>Oh? Well, for me again, at our age, it's a

0:15:39.400 --> 0:15:44.000
<v Speaker 2>little bit different. But for me, I'll give you a

0:15:44.240 --> 0:15:47.840
<v Speaker 2>very big example for me and people in our age

0:15:47.880 --> 0:15:51.440
<v Speaker 2>talk about this all the time. Moving if you find

0:15:51.520 --> 0:15:56.000
<v Speaker 2>mister Wright, are you willing to move? So to me,

0:15:56.600 --> 0:16:00.560
<v Speaker 2>if I want to be with the man, it is

0:16:00.600 --> 0:16:03.320
<v Speaker 2>a compromise. It would be a compromise for me to

0:16:03.320 --> 0:16:06.280
<v Speaker 2>not see my grandchildren and my kids every week. But

0:16:06.360 --> 0:16:10.160
<v Speaker 2>I would be willing to compromise because I want to

0:16:10.200 --> 0:16:11.760
<v Speaker 2>be with the man I'm in love with. That to

0:16:11.800 --> 0:16:16.440
<v Speaker 2>me would be a compromise. Settling would be this guy

0:16:16.520 --> 0:16:20.000
<v Speaker 2>wants to move to you know, East Overshoe, and I'm

0:16:20.000 --> 0:16:22.400
<v Speaker 2>going to see my kids once a year. Then I'm

0:16:22.480 --> 0:16:26.560
<v Speaker 2>settling because I know in my heart that I want

0:16:26.600 --> 0:16:30.280
<v Speaker 2>to see my kids and my grandkids more. But I'm

0:16:30.320 --> 0:16:33.280
<v Speaker 2>afraid of losing this guy. I'm afraid that there won't

0:16:33.280 --> 0:16:36.720
<v Speaker 2>be another opportunity. So I say, okay, and I move

0:16:36.800 --> 0:16:39.440
<v Speaker 2>to East Overshoe, which is, you know, four thousand miles

0:16:39.480 --> 0:16:42.360
<v Speaker 2>around the globe. And I'm miserable I settled.

0:16:42.400 --> 0:16:44.840
<v Speaker 1>Probably regret it.

0:16:44.360 --> 0:16:47.200
<v Speaker 2>Oh, I think, I Well, for me, you know what

0:16:47.240 --> 0:16:49.840
<v Speaker 2>about you? I mean to be yes, I can't settle,

0:16:49.880 --> 0:16:50.800
<v Speaker 2>so I don't me.

0:16:50.920 --> 0:16:54.720
<v Speaker 1>Settling is like say you have a picture of what

0:16:55.440 --> 0:17:00.040
<v Speaker 1>the person should be like, okay, in his qualities, and

0:17:00.120 --> 0:17:03.840
<v Speaker 1>you're going to settle for less because you don't want

0:17:03.880 --> 0:17:05.600
<v Speaker 1>to be alone like that is not.

0:17:05.800 --> 0:17:07.960
<v Speaker 2>See okay, this is where you and I are going

0:17:08.040 --> 0:17:13.119
<v Speaker 2>to disagree. No, unless you are, you know, Frederick, notwithstanding,

0:17:13.640 --> 0:17:17.720
<v Speaker 2>I don't think there is a person out there for

0:17:17.880 --> 0:17:23.120
<v Speaker 2>either of us that meets everything. No, absolutely not. Well

0:17:23.160 --> 0:17:25.080
<v Speaker 2>you you just said if he doesn't have to, then

0:17:25.119 --> 0:17:25.760
<v Speaker 2>you're settling.

0:17:25.840 --> 0:17:28.399
<v Speaker 1>And my list has changed over the years as we

0:17:28.640 --> 0:17:32.520
<v Speaker 1>both talked about it many times, because we're not looking

0:17:32.560 --> 0:17:36.080
<v Speaker 1>for the same things anymore. Correct. So what I mean

0:17:36.160 --> 0:17:39.760
<v Speaker 1>by this is like, for instance, somebody that's rude to

0:17:39.840 --> 0:17:42.600
<v Speaker 1>the waitress or the waiter, and you're going to settle

0:17:42.680 --> 0:17:45.000
<v Speaker 1>and say I'm okay with that as long as he

0:17:45.080 --> 0:17:47.480
<v Speaker 1>says he's going to stop doing it. That's something that's

0:17:47.560 --> 0:17:50.960
<v Speaker 1>never going to change, and you will end up resenting

0:17:51.080 --> 0:17:51.720
<v Speaker 1>him for it.

0:17:52.240 --> 0:17:55.359
<v Speaker 2>That's just as I don't, I don't, I mean, I

0:17:55.480 --> 0:17:59.879
<v Speaker 2>hear you. To me, those aren't settling issues. That that's

0:18:00.160 --> 0:18:03.199
<v Speaker 2>a character flaw that maybe was he just had a

0:18:03.200 --> 0:18:05.040
<v Speaker 2>bad night. No, just maybe had a bad night in

0:18:05.080 --> 0:18:09.160
<v Speaker 2>a restaurant. I mean to me, settling are the really

0:18:09.280 --> 0:18:14.959
<v Speaker 2>big issues of life here for me would be settling. Listen,

0:18:15.240 --> 0:18:19.280
<v Speaker 2>he says, you know, my my, I'm making these things up.

0:18:19.320 --> 0:18:21.720
<v Speaker 2>You know, my daughter lives in London and we're gonna

0:18:21.720 --> 0:18:25.119
<v Speaker 2>have to spend every Christmas in London. That's not a compromise.

0:18:25.520 --> 0:18:29.359
<v Speaker 2>That is settling. That is a big that's not healthy

0:18:29.400 --> 0:18:33.359
<v Speaker 2>for my brain, for my family, for my own well being.

0:18:33.640 --> 0:18:35.919
<v Speaker 2>And I think that's what it comes down to. For me.

0:18:36.560 --> 0:18:41.880
<v Speaker 2>Settling is when you have that icky feeling that this guy.

0:18:42.200 --> 0:18:46.760
<v Speaker 1>Isn't there that you want, yeah, feeling.

0:18:46.560 --> 0:18:48.600
<v Speaker 2>There's oh, I don't know. There's always going to be

0:18:48.680 --> 0:18:53.480
<v Speaker 2>things in a relationship that could be improved. But I

0:18:53.520 --> 0:18:56.399
<v Speaker 2>think for me it's so clear. I don't know if

0:18:56.440 --> 0:19:01.280
<v Speaker 2>I'm articulating it well, but for me, settling is doing something,

0:19:02.280 --> 0:19:06.760
<v Speaker 2>is having a relationship with someone that goes against my

0:19:07.119 --> 0:19:11.560
<v Speaker 2>inner grain. My spirituality is something that I know that

0:19:11.800 --> 0:19:14.680
<v Speaker 2>I should be doing this, but I'm doing it.

0:19:14.960 --> 0:19:17.240
<v Speaker 1>And let me let me put a car, for instance,

0:19:17.320 --> 0:19:20.400
<v Speaker 1>I want a car that has this heated steering wheel, Well,

0:19:20.440 --> 0:19:23.399
<v Speaker 1>I'll settle for this car even though it doesn't have it.

0:19:23.560 --> 0:19:26.679
<v Speaker 1>Like that kind of thing. When it comes to a relationship,

0:19:27.200 --> 0:19:31.679
<v Speaker 1>that's a whole other world. It's a relationship. It's something

0:19:31.760 --> 0:19:34.520
<v Speaker 1>that you will live to regret if you.

0:19:34.520 --> 0:19:36.600
<v Speaker 2>Have you settled in relationships before.

0:19:37.160 --> 0:19:40.280
<v Speaker 1>I don't believe so, oh I've compromised.

0:19:41.000 --> 0:19:46.640
<v Speaker 2>Oh I have definitely settled, not long term, because that's

0:19:46.680 --> 0:19:49.760
<v Speaker 2>why I but that's why it doesn't. That's why it doesn't.

0:19:49.840 --> 0:19:55.080
<v Speaker 2>But anyway, I think that I think people mistake they

0:19:55.119 --> 0:19:59.280
<v Speaker 2>mix up the two terms because I could see how Yeah, yeah,

0:20:00.760 --> 0:20:03.440
<v Speaker 2>for everyone out there who doesn't who's in a relationship,

0:20:03.480 --> 0:20:07.080
<v Speaker 2>who doesn't think you will be compromising, You're going to

0:20:07.119 --> 0:20:11.480
<v Speaker 2>make a lot of compromises in your relationship. You're going

0:20:11.520 --> 0:20:13.320
<v Speaker 2>to make a lot of sacrifices to.

0:20:13.240 --> 0:20:15.800
<v Speaker 1>Make the relationship work. You can't be right all the time.

0:20:15.720 --> 0:20:19.080
<v Speaker 2>Right and right. And that's why I'm saying it's it's

0:20:19.119 --> 0:20:23.840
<v Speaker 2>it's those really deep, uh guiding force that when you

0:20:23.880 --> 0:20:27.160
<v Speaker 2>go against it, then you know you're settling. And it's

0:20:27.200 --> 0:20:29.600
<v Speaker 2>that feeling like you just try to push it away

0:20:30.240 --> 0:20:33.159
<v Speaker 2>and and and say it's not the part you know

0:20:33.240 --> 0:20:35.320
<v Speaker 2>it is, so you know a waight or being rude

0:20:35.320 --> 0:20:37.400
<v Speaker 2>to a way to that to me is not that's

0:20:37.480 --> 0:20:38.760
<v Speaker 2>not a settling issue that.

0:20:38.800 --> 0:20:41.000
<v Speaker 1>But if that was his trait, that he does it

0:20:41.080 --> 0:20:45.400
<v Speaker 1>all the time, that would be something that yeah, both

0:20:45.400 --> 0:20:47.320
<v Speaker 1>of you and I both know that we would never

0:20:47.400 --> 0:20:50.600
<v Speaker 1>tolerate it. We would never agree that that's okay.

0:20:50.840 --> 0:20:55.520
<v Speaker 2>But yeah, well you know anyway, it's listen. I'd have

0:20:55.600 --> 0:20:59.680
<v Speaker 2>to have the relationship to talk about compromise or settling.

0:20:59.800 --> 0:21:03.040
<v Speaker 2>So I mean, I would ask you one thing and

0:21:03.160 --> 0:21:05.400
<v Speaker 2>you don't have to answer it. What is the biggest

0:21:05.400 --> 0:21:08.880
<v Speaker 2>compromise you've made with Frederick so far? Because you've told

0:21:08.920 --> 0:21:11.600
<v Speaker 2>me you're not settling, So what's the biggest compromise you've made?

0:21:12.119 --> 0:21:15.040
<v Speaker 1>Being okay with him not being as neat as I am?

0:21:15.359 --> 0:21:20.240
<v Speaker 2>That's the biggest COMPROMI Cath, you know me, that's true.

0:21:20.560 --> 0:21:23.960
<v Speaker 1>Huge. All right, let's get into our fan questions for today.

0:21:24.280 --> 0:21:26.919
<v Speaker 2>Frederick get it cleaned up while she's working there to

0:21:26.960 --> 0:21:30.120
<v Speaker 2>get that house ship shape. All right, I'm going.

0:21:30.000 --> 0:21:32.520
<v Speaker 1>To start us off, and this is from anonymous Kathy

0:21:32.520 --> 0:21:36.840
<v Speaker 1>and Susan. I really need your advice. I've always struggled

0:21:36.880 --> 0:21:40.119
<v Speaker 1>with my relationship with my sister in law. When my

0:21:40.280 --> 0:21:43.879
<v Speaker 1>husband and I first started dating in college, she and

0:21:43.920 --> 0:21:48.439
<v Speaker 1>I weren't around each other much for the first two years.

0:21:48.480 --> 0:21:52.200
<v Speaker 1>They barely acknowledged me, and when they finally did, it

0:21:52.280 --> 0:21:56.720
<v Speaker 1>often felt like they were poking fun at me. Last fall,

0:21:57.119 --> 0:22:00.239
<v Speaker 1>four days after my husband and I got engaged, she

0:22:00.280 --> 0:22:04.200
<v Speaker 1>announced she was three weeks pregnant. To make matters worse,

0:22:04.440 --> 0:22:07.320
<v Speaker 1>she shared the news at a family dinner that she

0:22:07.520 --> 0:22:12.359
<v Speaker 1>had intentionally not included me in Ooh, it felt like

0:22:12.480 --> 0:22:18.399
<v Speaker 1>our engagement had been completely overshadowed, and I spiraled. When

0:22:18.400 --> 0:22:21.880
<v Speaker 1>my mother in law heard we were upset, she made

0:22:21.960 --> 0:22:25.800
<v Speaker 1>us come over to talk. She revealed my sister in

0:22:25.840 --> 0:22:30.400
<v Speaker 1>law had admitted she was getting close to me on purpose. Oh,

0:22:30.440 --> 0:22:35.080
<v Speaker 1>she wasn't getting close to me on purpose. Excuse me,

0:22:35.359 --> 0:22:39.840
<v Speaker 1>My l pressured me. Mother in law pressured me into

0:22:39.880 --> 0:22:43.760
<v Speaker 1>confronting her. So I did, honestly and with an open heart.

0:22:43.920 --> 0:22:47.720
<v Speaker 1>But instead of apologizing, my sister in law dismissed everything,

0:22:48.040 --> 0:22:51.480
<v Speaker 1>made excuses, and told me never to bring it up again.

0:22:51.880 --> 0:22:55.960
<v Speaker 1>Not long after my mom scheduled my bridal shower. Three

0:22:56.040 --> 0:22:58.960
<v Speaker 1>months before my bridal shower, my mother in law told

0:22:59.000 --> 0:23:03.080
<v Speaker 1>me the only weekends she'd like for my sister in

0:23:03.160 --> 0:23:06.640
<v Speaker 1>law's baby shower were either the day after my shower

0:23:06.840 --> 0:23:10.960
<v Speaker 1>or four days before. I begged her not to schedule

0:23:11.000 --> 0:23:16.040
<v Speaker 1>it in the same weekend. Unsurprisingly, most of their skip

0:23:16.240 --> 0:23:19.720
<v Speaker 1>Most of them skipped my shower. My sister in law's

0:23:19.760 --> 0:23:23.040
<v Speaker 1>baby shower was four days before mine, and she had

0:23:23.080 --> 0:23:27.080
<v Speaker 1>a second one the day after mine. By this point

0:23:27.119 --> 0:23:29.359
<v Speaker 1>I had been in therapy for months trying to learn

0:23:29.400 --> 0:23:34.120
<v Speaker 1>how to best handle their family. Things escalated again when

0:23:34.119 --> 0:23:37.280
<v Speaker 1>it came to choosing our bridal party. My husband and

0:23:37.400 --> 0:23:40.600
<v Speaker 1>my mother in law initially agreed it would be easiest

0:23:40.960 --> 0:23:44.719
<v Speaker 1>if his sister and her husband weren't in the wedding.

0:23:45.119 --> 0:23:48.280
<v Speaker 1>I was completely fine with this decision given the history,

0:23:48.560 --> 0:23:51.760
<v Speaker 1>but when we told them, it turned into a yelling match.

0:23:52.200 --> 0:23:56.080
<v Speaker 1>My sister in law actually said a wedding is an important,

0:23:56.640 --> 0:24:01.440
<v Speaker 1>a baby is important. Months later, my mother in law

0:24:01.480 --> 0:24:06.280
<v Speaker 1>took me estate sailing and broke down crying about how

0:24:06.320 --> 0:24:09.320
<v Speaker 1>devastated she was that they weren't in the wedding. At

0:24:09.320 --> 0:24:13.199
<v Speaker 1>that point I caved. I was exhausted from fighting and

0:24:13.320 --> 0:24:16.199
<v Speaker 1>just gave in. So they ended up being in the wedding.

0:24:16.359 --> 0:24:20.600
<v Speaker 1>After all, Our wedding day itself was beautiful, but their

0:24:20.760 --> 0:24:25.200
<v Speaker 1>lack of consideration was obvious. They left early and didn't

0:24:25.200 --> 0:24:28.320
<v Speaker 1>even bother to give us a card let, alone a gift.

0:24:28.960 --> 0:24:32.919
<v Speaker 1>After everything, it felt like one final reminder of how

0:24:33.000 --> 0:24:36.680
<v Speaker 1>selfish they are. I need to get past this as

0:24:36.720 --> 0:24:40.840
<v Speaker 1>they are my husband's family. But wow, is that tough?

0:24:41.359 --> 0:24:45.360
<v Speaker 1>How would you handle things going forward? Love you both? Woa,

0:24:47.119 --> 0:24:50.560
<v Speaker 1>they're bitches.

0:24:51.840 --> 0:24:53.480
<v Speaker 2>You know what? I think this might have been my

0:24:53.640 --> 0:24:56.800
<v Speaker 2>sister in law. Oh my, I think this is it's

0:24:56.920 --> 0:24:58.720
<v Speaker 2>my sister in law reincarnated.

0:24:58.760 --> 0:25:01.200
<v Speaker 1>Well wait, I knew you were going to was something.

0:25:01.240 --> 0:25:02.440
<v Speaker 1>But your sister in law too.

0:25:02.680 --> 0:25:05.119
<v Speaker 2>There were two, There were twins. One is the sweetest

0:25:05.119 --> 0:25:07.560
<v Speaker 2>one known to man. The other one is from hell.

0:25:07.800 --> 0:25:10.240
<v Speaker 2>She rides on a broom. Well, let's not let's not

0:25:10.280 --> 0:25:13.240
<v Speaker 2>talk about her, you know, let's just have positive hair. Okay,

0:25:13.280 --> 0:25:18.119
<v Speaker 2>here's what I think. I think a couple of things.

0:25:18.400 --> 0:25:23.480
<v Speaker 2>The husband. First of all, their their behavior anonymous is

0:25:24.280 --> 0:25:29.919
<v Speaker 2>just ridiculous. It's it's intolerable, it is disgraceful, it is rude,

0:25:30.200 --> 0:25:32.719
<v Speaker 2>it's unkind. I can you know. I can give you

0:25:32.960 --> 0:25:36.960
<v Speaker 2>enough abjectives to fill the hour here. But your husband

0:25:37.600 --> 0:25:41.679
<v Speaker 2>and your mother in law agreed that they shouldn't be

0:25:41.720 --> 0:25:45.680
<v Speaker 2>in the wedding. And I'm sorry that you quote unquote

0:25:45.800 --> 0:25:51.080
<v Speaker 2>caved because you could have just left it alone and

0:25:51.119 --> 0:25:55.119
<v Speaker 2>said I'm sorry, you know, your mom, your brother, We

0:25:55.200 --> 0:25:58.560
<v Speaker 2>all agreed and pushed it off on her family. You

0:25:58.600 --> 0:26:00.520
<v Speaker 2>didn't do that, and I understand, and the moment it

0:26:00.600 --> 0:26:05.879
<v Speaker 2>was probably difficult. You're when she says, your sister in

0:26:05.960 --> 0:26:08.679
<v Speaker 2>law says babies are important, weddings aren't. I mean that

0:26:08.720 --> 0:26:10.719
<v Speaker 2>tells you everything right there. But I'll bet you one thing.

0:26:10.760 --> 0:26:12.200
<v Speaker 2>I bet her wedding was important.

0:26:12.760 --> 0:26:15.160
<v Speaker 1>So here's the dare she say?

0:26:15.400 --> 0:26:18.800
<v Speaker 2>Yeah? But here's the thing you But here's the thing.

0:26:19.760 --> 0:26:23.240
<v Speaker 2>They're not nice people. You can spend the rest of

0:26:23.280 --> 0:26:27.600
<v Speaker 2>your life, Anonymous, getting even, or you and your husband

0:26:27.640 --> 0:26:32.800
<v Speaker 2>can have a serious talk about building your own family

0:26:33.280 --> 0:26:36.879
<v Speaker 2>when you have children and seeing your in laws, sister

0:26:36.920 --> 0:26:40.520
<v Speaker 2>in law, mother in law when it is convenient. And

0:26:41.160 --> 0:26:44.040
<v Speaker 2>I'm sorry to say this, but I say it from experience.

0:26:44.320 --> 0:26:50.360
<v Speaker 2>Anonymous put away the idea of the Norman Rockwell family

0:26:51.040 --> 0:26:59.400
<v Speaker 2>Sunday gatherings kumbayah. It's probably never going to happen. So

0:26:59.560 --> 0:27:02.280
<v Speaker 2>you know, be polite, always be polite.

0:27:02.720 --> 0:27:05.840
<v Speaker 1>Yes, what do you think? Obviously there's two choices here,

0:27:06.000 --> 0:27:08.679
<v Speaker 1>like for them not even to leave a card or

0:27:09.440 --> 0:27:12.560
<v Speaker 1>a gift of any sort. To do the same thing

0:27:12.600 --> 0:27:14.600
<v Speaker 1>to her is not something I recommend.

0:27:14.920 --> 0:27:18.360
<v Speaker 2>She's already married, already married, she's already.

0:27:18.160 --> 0:27:20.480
<v Speaker 1>Saying about the baby gifts. You know what I'm saying

0:27:20.960 --> 0:27:23.840
<v Speaker 1>as far as your mother in law is concerned, I mean,

0:27:24.359 --> 0:27:28.080
<v Speaker 1>really to start having a hissy fit because they're not

0:27:28.119 --> 0:27:31.320
<v Speaker 1>in the wedding and then you do this, well.

0:27:31.359 --> 0:27:32.359
<v Speaker 2>No, no, no change.

0:27:32.920 --> 0:27:38.600
<v Speaker 1>The mother in law be this way.

0:27:36.640 --> 0:27:39.840
<v Speaker 2>Yes, but the mother in law and son her husband

0:27:40.200 --> 0:27:42.960
<v Speaker 2>agreed for them, not for her not to be in

0:27:42.960 --> 0:27:45.639
<v Speaker 2>the wedding. I think it's just as you know the

0:27:45.680 --> 0:27:48.240
<v Speaker 2>old in the Old Country. This is a mission us

0:27:48.440 --> 0:27:50.800
<v Speaker 2>and you're not going to fix it.

0:27:51.200 --> 0:27:54.040
<v Speaker 1>So how about when they were talking Kathy about please

0:27:54.080 --> 0:27:57.120
<v Speaker 1>don't have it the same week as my baby shower,

0:27:57.480 --> 0:27:59.600
<v Speaker 1>I mean my wedding shower, and then they did it

0:27:59.640 --> 0:28:02.359
<v Speaker 1>four days before. That's just rude. And half the people

0:28:02.400 --> 0:28:03.800
<v Speaker 1>didn't go to the second one.

0:28:04.119 --> 0:28:06.919
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, so didn't come to the wedding shower. So so

0:28:07.040 --> 0:28:11.000
<v Speaker 2>what you know, focus on the marriage with your husband.

0:28:11.119 --> 0:28:13.720
<v Speaker 2>You know, I have a friend in California who I

0:28:13.760 --> 0:28:15.880
<v Speaker 2>have this conversation with who has trouble with her mother

0:28:15.880 --> 0:28:19.560
<v Speaker 2>in law, similar kind of situation. From you know, she

0:28:19.600 --> 0:28:22.120
<v Speaker 2>seems to have the most fabulous husband and she has

0:28:22.160 --> 0:28:27.520
<v Speaker 2>a fabulous child. And focus on your family. That's what

0:28:27.560 --> 0:28:31.080
<v Speaker 2>I wish I had done more of and just seeing

0:28:31.560 --> 0:28:36.520
<v Speaker 2>the mother in law when I had to seeing.

0:28:36.680 --> 0:28:40.000
<v Speaker 1>The But you know that's stung until you did.

0:28:40.360 --> 0:28:44.520
<v Speaker 2>And that's what I'm saying, Anonymous, learn what took me

0:28:44.760 --> 0:28:50.560
<v Speaker 2>many years. Be polite. Don't invite them on vacation, invite

0:28:50.600 --> 0:28:55.480
<v Speaker 2>them for uh dinner? They can't come, Oh dear, I'm suys,

0:28:55.520 --> 0:28:58.800
<v Speaker 2>So maybe another time. Always be aboud.

0:28:58.840 --> 0:29:03.440
<v Speaker 1>I wouldn't all for dinner, No freaking way for her.

0:29:03.640 --> 0:29:06.520
<v Speaker 2>You know why I would because I love.

0:29:06.440 --> 0:29:07.560
<v Speaker 1>She'd probably cancel.

0:29:07.920 --> 0:29:10.120
<v Speaker 2>That's okay. I love my husband, and if it was

0:29:10.160 --> 0:29:13.120
<v Speaker 2>important to my husband, I would do it. I didn't

0:29:13.120 --> 0:29:16.120
<v Speaker 2>say I would do it. I would say I would invite,

0:29:16.200 --> 0:29:18.320
<v Speaker 2>and then when they say no, thank you, I'd look

0:29:18.360 --> 0:29:20.760
<v Speaker 2>at my husband and say, I love you so much.

0:29:20.800 --> 0:29:21.960
<v Speaker 2>I'm glad we're a family.

0:29:23.400 --> 0:29:25.960
<v Speaker 1>And how about when does sister in law admit it

0:29:26.360 --> 0:29:29.880
<v Speaker 1>that she wasn't getting close to her own purpose?

0:29:31.600 --> 0:29:36.000
<v Speaker 2>Anonymous, they're not nice people. Get over it. You have

0:29:36.080 --> 0:29:39.560
<v Speaker 2>a lovely husband, Get over the fact that your sister

0:29:39.600 --> 0:29:42.480
<v Speaker 2>in law seems to be a selfish bitch. Your mother

0:29:42.520 --> 0:29:45.280
<v Speaker 2>in law seems to be totally invested in her daughter.

0:29:45.800 --> 0:29:49.040
<v Speaker 2>Get over it. So I'm sorry. I don't mean to

0:29:49.080 --> 0:29:52.280
<v Speaker 2>sound hard. I'm giving you the advice Anonymous that I

0:29:52.320 --> 0:29:55.480
<v Speaker 2>wished I had taken my own marriage because my mother

0:29:55.520 --> 0:29:58.880
<v Speaker 2>in law was brutal and my and my father in

0:29:58.960 --> 0:30:01.880
<v Speaker 2>law and it was it really did cause issues for

0:30:02.000 --> 0:30:05.040
<v Speaker 2>my husband and myself and I had a great husband,

0:30:05.280 --> 0:30:08.200
<v Speaker 2>so I do. I always used to say to my husband,

0:30:08.560 --> 0:30:10.640
<v Speaker 2>like did a pity you know? Did you get dropped

0:30:10.640 --> 0:30:12.720
<v Speaker 2>by the stork? Like where did you come from?

0:30:13.080 --> 0:30:17.480
<v Speaker 1>Because you exchange gifts at Christmas? Getter an ugly Christmas Sweatery.

0:30:19.120 --> 0:30:21.800
<v Speaker 2>Okay, we're moving on, we're anonymously.

0:30:22.160 --> 0:30:24.600
<v Speaker 1>I feel your pain. I'm honest to God, and I

0:30:24.640 --> 0:30:28.320
<v Speaker 1>know from Kathy's experience it's not easy. And it's easy

0:30:28.360 --> 0:30:33.200
<v Speaker 1>for us to say, just go about your life, worry

0:30:33.240 --> 0:30:35.600
<v Speaker 1>about you and your husband. But it does sting. We're

0:30:35.600 --> 0:30:36.840
<v Speaker 1>not going to excuse.

0:30:36.480 --> 0:30:39.360
<v Speaker 2>That, right. It does sting, but it's not going to change.

0:30:40.080 --> 0:30:44.240
<v Speaker 2>So don't spend spend your effort making your marriage good,

0:30:44.360 --> 0:30:47.720
<v Speaker 2>making your husband happy, building your relationship. When you guys

0:30:47.760 --> 0:30:52.760
<v Speaker 2>have children, build your family, because ultimately that is what's

0:30:52.800 --> 0:30:55.000
<v Speaker 2>going to matter in your life. And let us know, Anonymous,

0:30:55.000 --> 0:30:58.800
<v Speaker 2>how things go. And by the way, congrats on your wedding. Okay,

0:30:59.320 --> 0:31:04.840
<v Speaker 2>let's move on to question two from another anonymous writer

0:31:05.000 --> 0:31:07.640
<v Speaker 2>and Jesse. Y'all know, don't ever feel like you have

0:31:07.680 --> 0:31:09.960
<v Speaker 2>to put your name in when you send us questions.

0:31:10.240 --> 0:31:12.600
<v Speaker 2>Were going to answer them whether you put your name

0:31:12.920 --> 0:31:22.600
<v Speaker 2>down or not. So good good for you for writing this. Hi, ladies,

0:31:23.200 --> 0:31:26.240
<v Speaker 2>I'm wondering what your take is on couples being together

0:31:26.600 --> 0:31:29.440
<v Speaker 2>for a long time before they get engaged. I've been

0:31:29.440 --> 0:31:31.760
<v Speaker 2>with my boyfriend for three years and we're in our

0:31:31.800 --> 0:31:35.760
<v Speaker 2>mid twenties. We're already getting the quote when you're getting

0:31:35.800 --> 0:31:39.520
<v Speaker 2>engaged questions, and they're getting more and more and more

0:31:39.560 --> 0:31:42.440
<v Speaker 2>frequent from friends and family. My boyfriend and I have

0:31:42.480 --> 0:31:46.600
<v Speaker 2>talked about marriage. We're confident we are each other's endgame.

0:31:46.960 --> 0:31:49.880
<v Speaker 2>My boyfriend is holding off on marriage due to money,

0:31:49.960 --> 0:31:52.600
<v Speaker 2>you know, wedding costs, figuring out where we want to

0:31:52.640 --> 0:31:55.200
<v Speaker 2>settle down, and then buying a house, et cetera. For me,

0:31:55.840 --> 0:31:58.680
<v Speaker 2>not only do I agree with those reasons, I also

0:31:58.880 --> 0:32:01.600
<v Speaker 2>just don't feel ready to get get married. It almost

0:32:01.640 --> 0:32:04.880
<v Speaker 2>feels like I'm too young, even though I'm really not.

0:32:05.400 --> 0:32:08.080
<v Speaker 2>So I know where I stand in my relationship. But

0:32:08.200 --> 0:32:10.840
<v Speaker 2>my question is this Why do people view it as

0:32:10.920 --> 0:32:13.120
<v Speaker 2>such a red flag if you are together for a

0:32:13.160 --> 0:32:16.560
<v Speaker 2>long time before getting married, should I be concerned that

0:32:16.640 --> 0:32:19.200
<v Speaker 2>we don't feel ready yet? I guess I'm just looking

0:32:19.200 --> 0:32:22.000
<v Speaker 2>for an outside perspective to help me feel more confident

0:32:22.080 --> 0:32:25.240
<v Speaker 2>in how I feel. Thanks, ladies, what do you think?

0:32:25.480 --> 0:32:28.400
<v Speaker 1>Literally not? You do it when you're ready. Don't let

0:32:28.440 --> 0:32:32.360
<v Speaker 1>other people influence you one way or the other. I

0:32:32.400 --> 0:32:35.680
<v Speaker 1>think it's just old school. You know, you're together so

0:32:35.760 --> 0:32:38.960
<v Speaker 1>many years, the next thing in line is the engagement,

0:32:39.040 --> 0:32:41.400
<v Speaker 1>and the next thing is the marriage, and then the

0:32:41.440 --> 0:32:44.120
<v Speaker 1>next thing is you have a baby. Not You don't

0:32:44.200 --> 0:32:50.040
<v Speaker 1>have to necessarily follow that rule. You do you? But

0:32:50.200 --> 0:32:54.400
<v Speaker 1>when she says I don't feel ready to get married,

0:32:55.520 --> 0:32:59.280
<v Speaker 1>like it's her age that she said, it's almost like

0:32:59.320 --> 0:33:03.120
<v Speaker 1>I feel too young, even though I'm not. She's good

0:33:03.160 --> 0:33:06.240
<v Speaker 1>in her relationship. But let me ask this, and Kathy,

0:33:06.520 --> 0:33:10.880
<v Speaker 1>I want your opinion. If you're with somebody three years

0:33:10.960 --> 0:33:16.920
<v Speaker 1>and do you not know what is I'm too young

0:33:16.960 --> 0:33:17.760
<v Speaker 1>to get married me?

0:33:19.280 --> 0:33:22.120
<v Speaker 2>Well, they're in their mid twenties and these are all

0:33:22.200 --> 0:33:25.160
<v Speaker 2>judgment calls. I think getting married in your mid twenties

0:33:25.240 --> 0:33:27.840
<v Speaker 2>is about as early, especially in this world in this

0:33:27.920 --> 0:33:29.840
<v Speaker 2>day and time that you want to get married. But

0:33:29.840 --> 0:33:32.120
<v Speaker 2>who am I like, I'm not a judge jury here.

0:33:33.400 --> 0:33:38.600
<v Speaker 2>I mean my daughter dated a guy three years and

0:33:38.720 --> 0:33:42.000
<v Speaker 2>didn't end up marrying. I don't think there's yeah, there's no,

0:33:42.080 --> 0:33:47.640
<v Speaker 2>there's no. I think Anonymous. I think Susan's right. People

0:33:47.960 --> 0:33:51.920
<v Speaker 2>just tend to go with tradition. They tend to go

0:33:52.040 --> 0:33:55.680
<v Speaker 2>with historically people date get married to all those things.

0:33:56.600 --> 0:33:59.200
<v Speaker 2>But I do want to say one thing too, Anonymous.

0:34:01.080 --> 0:34:04.640
<v Speaker 2>Your boyfriend, you said, is holding off on marriage due

0:34:05.080 --> 0:34:08.440
<v Speaker 2>to the wedding costs where you want to settle down

0:34:08.600 --> 0:34:12.920
<v Speaker 2>by a house. Let me just tell you those things

0:34:13.160 --> 0:34:16.560
<v Speaker 2>are fluid in life. You may buy six houses, you

0:34:16.600 --> 0:34:20.279
<v Speaker 2>may move to four different cities. You may decide on

0:34:20.320 --> 0:34:23.719
<v Speaker 2>a huge wedding, you may decide to elope, you may

0:34:23.760 --> 0:34:26.160
<v Speaker 2>decide you're not ready to have children for five years,

0:34:26.160 --> 0:34:30.480
<v Speaker 2>ten years. These are things that change over time. And

0:34:30.560 --> 0:34:37.640
<v Speaker 2>so what I don't hear you saying is that your husband, sorry,

0:34:37.800 --> 0:34:40.880
<v Speaker 2>your boyfriend, is not ready because of the costs and

0:34:40.920 --> 0:34:45.160
<v Speaker 2>those decisions, and you feel like you're too young. So

0:34:45.280 --> 0:34:49.920
<v Speaker 2>what I'm hearing is a good relationship where you two

0:34:50.120 --> 0:34:54.440
<v Speaker 2>enjoy each other. I'm assuming you both work. You know

0:34:54.480 --> 0:34:57.719
<v Speaker 2>where you stand in your relationship and you're comfortable with that,

0:34:58.320 --> 0:35:00.560
<v Speaker 2>and you know what that is a sign of charity.

0:35:01.080 --> 0:35:04.440
<v Speaker 2>You know what you want today. You don't have to

0:35:04.480 --> 0:35:07.279
<v Speaker 2>be looking ten years down the road. But I would

0:35:07.360 --> 0:35:10.560
<v Speaker 2>encourage you and your boyfriend to talk about the fact

0:35:10.560 --> 0:35:13.760
<v Speaker 2>that you know, is the time ever perfect? I assure

0:35:13.800 --> 0:35:17.000
<v Speaker 2>you it's never perfect time to have children. You know,

0:35:17.040 --> 0:35:18.960
<v Speaker 2>the house you buy. A year after you buy it,

0:35:19.000 --> 0:35:22.319
<v Speaker 2>you make it transferred for work, So be a.

0:35:22.239 --> 0:35:25.360
<v Speaker 1>Little more kathy. What about to say, well, let's just

0:35:25.880 --> 0:35:28.560
<v Speaker 1>do us and then when we're twenty nine or thirty,

0:35:28.960 --> 0:35:32.000
<v Speaker 1>we'll revisit the marriage thing. Do we still feel like?

0:35:32.200 --> 0:35:35.840
<v Speaker 1>I mean, what is the wedding? The marriage you commit

0:35:35.960 --> 0:35:39.120
<v Speaker 1>to one another or you're legally binding because of a

0:35:39.160 --> 0:35:42.239
<v Speaker 1>piece of paper and marriage. I don't think they're really

0:35:42.320 --> 0:35:44.160
<v Speaker 1>sure yet. I don't think they're there yet.

0:35:44.280 --> 0:35:47.399
<v Speaker 2>I don't listen, lots of people have children and they're

0:35:47.400 --> 0:35:50.520
<v Speaker 2>not married. Lots of people live together not married, absolutly

0:35:50.560 --> 0:35:55.239
<v Speaker 2>lots of people. Define what works for you, Anonymous, define

0:35:55.680 --> 0:35:59.040
<v Speaker 2>you and your boyfriend define the relationship that works for you,

0:35:59.600 --> 0:36:02.960
<v Speaker 2>and and revel in it, enjoy what you have together

0:36:03.400 --> 0:36:05.799
<v Speaker 2>and don't worry so much about the future, you.

0:36:05.760 --> 0:36:09.279
<v Speaker 1>Know, well, pleas pertay these comments, Kathy, like she's saying,

0:36:09.320 --> 0:36:10.680
<v Speaker 1>why do they always view it as it?

0:36:10.760 --> 0:36:10.880
<v Speaker 2>Right?

0:36:11.040 --> 0:36:13.040
<v Speaker 1>Well, it's when are you going to get married? Just

0:36:13.040 --> 0:36:16.400
<v Speaker 1>say someday, someday ready.

0:36:16.120 --> 0:36:17.680
<v Speaker 2>You know, you know you don't even have to say that,

0:36:17.840 --> 0:36:20.960
<v Speaker 2>say I'm If your friends are married and Anonymous, you

0:36:21.000 --> 0:36:23.879
<v Speaker 2>can say them, I'm so glad you're married and you

0:36:23.880 --> 0:36:26.960
<v Speaker 2>have the life you want. Whatever. Your boyfriend, let's call

0:36:27.000 --> 0:36:29.839
<v Speaker 2>them Johnny. Johnny and I right now are living our

0:36:29.880 --> 0:36:32.520
<v Speaker 2>best lives. We're in this great chapter of our life

0:36:32.560 --> 0:36:35.680
<v Speaker 2>and we're so happy. And you know, life gives us

0:36:35.680 --> 0:36:38.200
<v Speaker 2>all lots of chapters, and we're in this one right

0:36:38.200 --> 0:36:41.080
<v Speaker 2>now and we're having fun and let it go exactly.

0:36:41.320 --> 0:36:45.120
<v Speaker 2>And I'm happy that you found happiness because ultimately, Anonymous,

0:36:45.560 --> 0:36:49.280
<v Speaker 2>finding love and happiness is the most important thing in life.

0:36:49.360 --> 0:36:51.479
<v Speaker 1>It is. And just do you and enjoy this time

0:36:51.520 --> 0:36:52.080
<v Speaker 1>with him?

0:36:52.280 --> 0:36:55.279
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, all right, but let us know, Wait, Susan, you're

0:36:55.280 --> 0:36:59.680
<v Speaker 2>losing your touch. I can't believe you didn't make an advertisement.

0:36:59.719 --> 0:37:01.400
<v Speaker 2>If they do decide to get married, that you're a

0:37:01.400 --> 0:37:02.719
<v Speaker 2>wedding Officiacy.

0:37:02.239 --> 0:37:03.359
<v Speaker 1>Well, she's not ready yet.

0:37:03.840 --> 0:37:06.359
<v Speaker 2>Okay, well when you do. If you do, Susan, we'll

0:37:06.360 --> 0:37:09.120
<v Speaker 2>be available. I can appciate and I'll come throw rose pedals.

0:37:09.160 --> 0:37:12.719
<v Speaker 2>All right, we're going to move in to I love this.

0:37:12.800 --> 0:37:16.200
<v Speaker 2>We're going to do another Golden Spotlight, and this one

0:37:16.560 --> 0:37:23.080
<v Speaker 2>is all about technology. Boy, Okay, let's talk. I mean you,

0:37:23.239 --> 0:37:25.279
<v Speaker 2>I don't know about you. I was born with black

0:37:25.280 --> 0:37:27.759
<v Speaker 2>and white television. Let's just start with that. When my

0:37:27.920 --> 0:37:31.399
<v Speaker 2>kids were young. Yeah, I mean when my kids were young,

0:37:31.840 --> 0:37:35.200
<v Speaker 2>we didn't have computers. My first phone was like a suitcase.

0:37:35.560 --> 0:37:37.680
<v Speaker 2>I remember the first computer I got my kids. It

0:37:37.760 --> 0:37:43.879
<v Speaker 2>was a Macintosh Apple. The thing was just huge. Why

0:37:43.880 --> 0:37:45.879
<v Speaker 2>do you think, I mean, I know what I think.

0:37:45.920 --> 0:37:49.240
<v Speaker 2>Why do you think Golden struggles so much with technology.

0:37:48.880 --> 0:37:51.560
<v Speaker 1>Because they're not used to it. They weren't taught it

0:37:51.800 --> 0:37:53.880
<v Speaker 1>in school. When you do it every day it's a

0:37:53.920 --> 0:37:56.719
<v Speaker 1>part of life, then you learn it better. I just

0:37:56.840 --> 0:38:00.680
<v Speaker 1>know with my A, my my chat, she he's like

0:38:00.719 --> 0:38:01.359
<v Speaker 1>my best friend.

0:38:01.520 --> 0:38:03.759
<v Speaker 2>Okay, yeah, but you know that bothers me that you

0:38:03.880 --> 0:38:09.240
<v Speaker 2>use that. Let me just you you went straight to AI.

0:38:09.840 --> 0:38:14.120
<v Speaker 2>You know. AI has some great uses, but it.

0:38:14.200 --> 0:38:17.760
<v Speaker 1>Does for it keeps me from having the Google research.

0:38:17.840 --> 0:38:19.759
<v Speaker 1>I just asked him if he goes and looks.

0:38:19.800 --> 0:38:22.319
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, But see that's lazy, Susan, you're being a lot.

0:38:22.400 --> 0:38:24.120
<v Speaker 1>I don't there's not enough time in the day. Some

0:38:24.239 --> 0:38:27.319
<v Speaker 1>days when you want some information, do you not ask

0:38:27.400 --> 0:38:29.760
<v Speaker 1>Alexa something like Alexa, what's the weather today?

0:38:30.200 --> 0:38:30.439
<v Speaker 2>No?

0:38:31.080 --> 0:38:32.600
<v Speaker 1>I don't ever ask her what the weather.

0:38:32.640 --> 0:38:34.640
<v Speaker 2>I don't ask Alexa what times? You know? I use

0:38:34.680 --> 0:38:37.799
<v Speaker 2>Alexa tron on my music, and I use Alexa set

0:38:37.800 --> 0:38:39.480
<v Speaker 2>a timer when I'm baking.

0:38:39.600 --> 0:38:42.160
<v Speaker 1>Before I open my eyes and I'm laying in bed.

0:38:42.160 --> 0:38:44.520
<v Speaker 1>I want enough time, and I don't want to look

0:38:44.520 --> 0:38:47.240
<v Speaker 1>at a phone or any lights. So I say, Alexa,

0:38:47.400 --> 0:38:48.200
<v Speaker 1>what time is it?

0:38:48.239 --> 0:38:53.200
<v Speaker 2>Okay? But that's then Chap gbt write me a letter

0:38:53.360 --> 0:38:56.239
<v Speaker 2>to my landlord. So I mean, I just think it's

0:38:56.320 --> 0:38:57.040
<v Speaker 2>well worded.

0:38:58.000 --> 0:39:00.799
<v Speaker 1>You wouldn't understand that because you were in English. I

0:39:00.800 --> 0:39:01.600
<v Speaker 1>mean I get that.

0:39:02.400 --> 0:39:04.520
<v Speaker 2>Oh well, all right, back to the tell technology that

0:39:04.719 --> 0:39:09.000
<v Speaker 2>I think. I think goldens. Uh right. We did grow up.

0:39:09.800 --> 0:39:14.680
<v Speaker 2>I know myself. I challenge myself to try to learn things,

0:39:14.680 --> 0:39:19.239
<v Speaker 2>and sometimes I failed late. And but once someone I

0:39:19.320 --> 0:39:21.960
<v Speaker 2>do want to learn, like I want to learn how

0:39:22.000 --> 0:39:26.200
<v Speaker 2>to do as uh, I'll get somebody teach me how

0:39:26.200 --> 0:39:28.560
<v Speaker 2>to do it, or I'll research it, like I'll do

0:39:28.600 --> 0:39:32.279
<v Speaker 2>a YouTube video. But I think goldens are you know,

0:39:32.560 --> 0:39:35.319
<v Speaker 2>they grew up on freaking rotary phones, and you know

0:39:35.360 --> 0:39:36.960
<v Speaker 2>what the young people are listening is going, what the

0:39:37.000 --> 0:39:41.960
<v Speaker 2>hell is a rotary phone? However, I think I think technology.

0:39:41.960 --> 0:39:44.600
<v Speaker 2>I don't know if you if you heard about this,

0:39:44.800 --> 0:39:50.520
<v Speaker 2>but families today, thank god my children are grown, because

0:39:51.000 --> 0:39:54.160
<v Speaker 2>you know, giving kids smartphones when they're six. I don't

0:39:54.200 --> 0:39:56.879
<v Speaker 2>subscribe to it, but a lot of families are going

0:39:57.000 --> 0:40:01.360
<v Speaker 2>back to landlines and giving their kids, like, you know,

0:40:01.480 --> 0:40:03.400
<v Speaker 2>a phone and a phone number. Yeah, go ahead and

0:40:03.440 --> 0:40:06.399
<v Speaker 2>talk to your friends because they don't want them being

0:40:07.040 --> 0:40:10.960
<v Speaker 2>being uh involved. Also social media, you know, that's that's

0:40:11.040 --> 0:40:15.480
<v Speaker 2>my that's right. And technology is social media. It's a

0:40:15.880 --> 0:40:21.520
<v Speaker 2>I I have found doing videos for me. Uh it's

0:40:21.600 --> 0:40:25.320
<v Speaker 2>not as intuitive, That's what I would say younger kids,

0:40:25.360 --> 0:40:28.160
<v Speaker 2>because they grew up on it. It's intuitive. You know,

0:40:28.560 --> 0:40:32.279
<v Speaker 2>click on this highlight post, click, just clicking pieces and

0:40:32.920 --> 0:40:36.719
<v Speaker 2>and to me, that's not as intuitive. But I get it.

0:40:37.360 --> 0:40:39.400
<v Speaker 2>People say to me, Kathy, how can you write that

0:40:39.520 --> 0:40:41.600
<v Speaker 2>so well? I don't know. It's I've done it so long.

0:40:41.640 --> 0:40:45.840
<v Speaker 2>It's intuitive. It's just what we grew up with. However,

0:40:46.040 --> 0:40:50.400
<v Speaker 2>I think a lot of people our age. My sister

0:40:50.480 --> 0:40:52.520
<v Speaker 2>is one for I mean she just told me yesterday

0:40:52.680 --> 0:40:55.040
<v Speaker 2>her she has an iPhone six and she has to

0:40:55.040 --> 0:40:57.200
<v Speaker 2>get rid of it because it's not being supported anymore.

0:40:57.360 --> 0:40:58.880
<v Speaker 1>I mean she used it updated.

0:40:59.239 --> 0:41:03.439
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, she to call people. I mean she. I take

0:41:03.560 --> 0:41:07.680
<v Speaker 2>pride in being twenty nine as I am and learning

0:41:07.719 --> 0:41:10.800
<v Speaker 2>new technology all the time. But I don't think people

0:41:11.000 --> 0:41:15.279
<v Speaker 2>Golden's necessarily want to how many how many people were

0:41:15.320 --> 0:41:17.880
<v Speaker 2>on at before you and I went on the show

0:41:18.640 --> 0:41:19.960
<v Speaker 2>because of my job that.

0:41:19.960 --> 0:41:21.480
<v Speaker 1>I hadn't understand Instagram?

0:41:21.480 --> 0:41:23.560
<v Speaker 2>I know, okay, I was on Instagram. I was one

0:41:23.600 --> 0:41:25.680
<v Speaker 2>of the first. Uh, I had it when it used

0:41:25.719 --> 0:41:30.880
<v Speaker 2>to be and Twitter now my space x when it

0:41:30.880 --> 0:41:34.080
<v Speaker 2>was one hundred and forty characters, like from the beginning

0:41:34.160 --> 0:41:36.799
<v Speaker 2>of time. But you have to want I think you

0:41:36.880 --> 0:41:39.840
<v Speaker 2>have to have a curious mind.

0:41:39.920 --> 0:41:42.200
<v Speaker 1>It does it hard to learn? Yeah? Yeah? And I

0:41:42.360 --> 0:41:45.719
<v Speaker 1>stand it. Yeah, And I think that, Well, do you

0:41:45.760 --> 0:41:50.040
<v Speaker 1>remember your my grandmother, I'm sure yours when we had

0:41:50.080 --> 0:41:53.360
<v Speaker 1>cell phones or a computer and she's like, oh my god,

0:41:53.600 --> 0:41:54.960
<v Speaker 1>what is the world coming to?

0:41:55.160 --> 0:41:55.960
<v Speaker 2>Like what does that do?

0:41:56.280 --> 0:41:59.640
<v Speaker 1>They had encyclopedias that we look up things. You know

0:41:59.680 --> 0:42:00.000
<v Speaker 1>what I mean.

0:42:00.000 --> 0:42:02.840
<v Speaker 2>I mean, yeah, today, I will say I love for

0:42:03.040 --> 0:42:07.880
<v Speaker 2>me all being able to research things online and so

0:42:08.280 --> 0:42:10.520
<v Speaker 2>go down rabbit, you know, type in something on my

0:42:10.600 --> 0:42:15.440
<v Speaker 2>computer and and you can be like you said, type

0:42:15.480 --> 0:42:18.600
<v Speaker 2>that's right there, typewriter. Yeah, but I'm saying I love that.

0:42:19.200 --> 0:42:22.279
<v Speaker 2>I love learning new technology. I'm not as good as

0:42:22.320 --> 0:42:25.040
<v Speaker 2>I would like to be, but I actually like it.

0:42:25.080 --> 0:42:29.960
<v Speaker 2>I will tell you I don't think this affects Golden's

0:42:30.400 --> 0:42:33.080
<v Speaker 2>as much, but it's my PSA for the day. My

0:42:33.320 --> 0:42:37.680
<v Speaker 2>biggest problem with social media, and it just gets more

0:42:37.840 --> 0:42:42.440
<v Speaker 2>with with TikTok and all the different social media platforms.

0:42:43.120 --> 0:42:46.680
<v Speaker 2>Young people today do not They first of all, spend

0:42:46.719 --> 0:42:49.280
<v Speaker 2>too much time in technology. They're just glued to their phones.

0:42:49.640 --> 0:42:55.279
<v Speaker 2>But they also think that everything they see on well

0:42:55.320 --> 0:42:59.160
<v Speaker 2>that it's that it's everyone's complete life. And I always say,

0:42:59.719 --> 0:43:03.440
<v Speaker 2>back when I was an educational consultant, the world that

0:43:03.480 --> 0:43:07.200
<v Speaker 2>we see that people post on Instagram, on TikTok, on

0:43:07.480 --> 0:43:11.000
<v Speaker 2>any social media is the lives they want. It's the

0:43:11.040 --> 0:43:14.200
<v Speaker 2>lives they want to portray that they're living that kind

0:43:14.239 --> 0:43:16.680
<v Speaker 2>of life twenty four to seven, and they're not. And

0:43:16.719 --> 0:43:19.319
<v Speaker 2>so I think that is a problem, which it.

0:43:19.320 --> 0:43:22.360
<v Speaker 1>Is part of the new age, if you will. Because

0:43:22.480 --> 0:43:26.680
<v Speaker 1>me being in hairdressing and I used to give out

0:43:26.719 --> 0:43:31.280
<v Speaker 1>a free makeover, color cut, a whole new look makeup,

0:43:31.440 --> 0:43:35.200
<v Speaker 1>and that would sell me. People would say, who did.

0:43:35.160 --> 0:43:36.920
<v Speaker 2>Now you could just do it, you could just google

0:43:36.960 --> 0:43:37.560
<v Speaker 2>it how to do it.

0:43:37.640 --> 0:43:41.160
<v Speaker 1>Well, no, because now you have to advertise for yourself,

0:43:41.239 --> 0:43:43.920
<v Speaker 1>your bolliage. You got to take pictures of every client.

0:43:44.239 --> 0:43:47.279
<v Speaker 1>I worked on a thirty minute book. And then when

0:43:47.320 --> 0:43:50.160
<v Speaker 1>you're taking pictures, unless you hire a photographer to come

0:43:50.160 --> 0:43:53.399
<v Speaker 1>into salon with you, you have to sell yourself out there

0:43:53.400 --> 0:43:55.640
<v Speaker 1>on social media for hair just because.

0:43:55.800 --> 0:43:58.160
<v Speaker 2>But see, in some ways, I think that's great. It's

0:43:58.560 --> 0:44:00.680
<v Speaker 2>I mean, there's two sides of it. The good side

0:44:00.680 --> 0:44:05.320
<v Speaker 2>of the coin is the tech boom has made its connection.

0:44:05.760 --> 0:44:10.600
<v Speaker 2>It's made connection to careers, to jobs, to people to

0:44:11.719 --> 0:44:15.480
<v Speaker 2>opportunities so much more prevalent. And that's fabulous. I love

0:44:15.520 --> 0:44:18.400
<v Speaker 2>that part of it. I don't like the part that

0:44:18.560 --> 0:44:23.839
<v Speaker 2>people spend too much time, including Golden's, on technology and

0:44:23.840 --> 0:44:24.520
<v Speaker 2>not development.

0:44:24.520 --> 0:44:26.440
<v Speaker 1>We take so much time sometimes because it takes us

0:44:26.440 --> 0:44:27.560
<v Speaker 1>a long time to figure it out.

0:44:27.680 --> 0:44:32.799
<v Speaker 2>Kauz, Yeah, well, yeah, I'm better than most. I actually though,

0:44:33.880 --> 0:44:35.799
<v Speaker 2>could you give up your phone? Could you give up

0:44:36.360 --> 0:44:41.239
<v Speaker 2>no physiastic chat GBT to write our next letter for

0:44:41.440 --> 0:44:42.520
<v Speaker 2>I'm going to get you off that.

0:44:42.960 --> 0:44:45.319
<v Speaker 1>I love that, I love it all right. We can

0:44:45.440 --> 0:44:48.359
<v Speaker 1>just talk about this for hours, you know that, right always?

0:44:48.640 --> 0:44:51.640
<v Speaker 1>And that was fun And I wanted to thank all

0:44:51.680 --> 0:44:54.520
<v Speaker 1>of our listeners for joining us today. We really enjoy

0:44:54.680 --> 0:44:57.839
<v Speaker 1>talking with you, sharing our ideas with you, and love

0:44:57.920 --> 0:44:59.120
<v Speaker 1>when you tell us things.

0:44:59.520 --> 0:45:02.000
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, we we really enjoyed. Be sure to follow us

0:45:03.040 --> 0:45:05.879
<v Speaker 2>Batchelor Happy Hour. We have new episodes coming out every week.

0:45:05.920 --> 0:45:07.280
<v Speaker 2>You don't want to miss even one.

0:45:07.680 --> 0:45:11.040
<v Speaker 1>Not at well, and make sure you submit your questions

0:45:11.080 --> 0:45:13.719
<v Speaker 1>to us, and you remember how to do that. Go

0:45:13.880 --> 0:45:18.359
<v Speaker 1>to bachelornation dot com, slash Golden Hour, or dm us

0:45:18.440 --> 0:45:20.600
<v Speaker 1>on Instagram at Bachelor Happy Hour.

0:45:20.760 --> 0:45:23.279
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, please do that. Take a minute to use your

0:45:23.280 --> 0:45:25.560
<v Speaker 2>technology to reach out to us. That's what we want.

0:45:25.880 --> 0:45:28.600
<v Speaker 2>But in the meantime, listen to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden

0:45:28.640 --> 0:45:31.400
<v Speaker 2>Hour on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you listen to

0:45:31.440 --> 0:45:34.240
<v Speaker 2>your podcasts. Until next time, have a great week.

0:45:34.719 --> 0:45:40.360
<v Speaker 1>Thank you,