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Speaker 1: Welcome back everybody to Bachelor Happy Hour's Golden Hour. Thanks

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Speaker 1: again for joining us, and we're always so excited to

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Speaker 1: be back, aren't.

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Speaker 2: We, Kathy, We are and I love these days because

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Speaker 2: today we're going to be answering more of your fan questions.

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Speaker 2: Make sure you're submitting those. We love reading them. All

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Speaker 2: you gotta do is go to Bachelor Nation dot com

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Speaker 2: slash Golden Hour and submit away.

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Speaker 1: Yes, send us everything, your questions, your updates, and your opinions,

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Speaker 1: all of it. You can also dm us on Instagram

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Speaker 1: at Bachelor Happy Hour. Oh kay, let's talk about our cruise.

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Speaker 2: Guess this Bachelor Okay, if you haven't heard, folks, Bachelor

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Speaker 2: Nation vacation at sea has finally been announced, and we

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Speaker 2: are so excited. You and I are going. Lots of

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Speaker 2: Bachelor Nation people are going to be on there, lots

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Speaker 2: of friends and couples, and.

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Speaker 1: It's just going to be a party.

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Speaker 2: I think it's going to be a NonStop party. I

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Speaker 2: have never been to Puerta Plata, but who doesn't love

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Speaker 2: a good cruise with us with dancing surprises. You know

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Speaker 2: what I'm most excited about, Susan is meeting so many

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Speaker 2: of the fans exactly, and I.

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Speaker 1: Write to us, we chat with them online. We don't

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Speaker 1: know what they look like or they are, you know

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Speaker 1: what I mean, just by their notes. And and we're

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Speaker 1: going to be doing a live podcast.

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Speaker 2: A live podcast, so that's going to be really fun. Also,

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Speaker 2: you know, folks out there, a lot of you are single,

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Speaker 2: as am I, and so I know it gets expensive

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Speaker 2: to go on a cruise, but there is a Facebook

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Speaker 2: page that you can go to. It's called Official Bachelor

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Speaker 2: Nation Vacation See Cruisers group. Go on Facebook, find that

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Speaker 2: group and join. It's a great way to make new friends,

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Speaker 2: maybe find a roommate for the cruise. It's a win win.

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Speaker 2: You're going to get to meet a lot of your

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Speaker 2: Bachelor Nation favorites. There are so many. We don't even

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Speaker 2: know all the surprises yet. But trust me, this is

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Speaker 2: going to be a cruise of a lifetime. You're going

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Speaker 2: to have a blast. So if you haven't booked your

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Speaker 2: cabin yet, go and do it now because you are

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Speaker 2: going to be so excited to come. And we can't

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Speaker 2: quit excited.

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Speaker 1: Everybody there me too.

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Speaker 2: You know, people think that we see Bachelor Nation all

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Speaker 2: of our friends all the time. This is going to

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Speaker 2: be as much fun for us to see all of

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Speaker 2: you and chat with you, and you can see what

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Speaker 2: we're really like in person, which is exactly what we're

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Speaker 2: like on this podcast, by the way.

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Speaker 1: And you'll be seeing us everywhere on that ship, and

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Speaker 1: I'm sure there's going to be things that we'll be

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Speaker 1: involved with with you, right. Yeah, we don't know what.

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Speaker 2: It's gonna be great, but if we haven't sold you yet,

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Speaker 2: we're gonna be talking about it again. Book your cabin now.

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Speaker 2: Go to Bachelor Nation Vacation at Sea dot com and

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Speaker 2: book your cabin now. You will not regret this decision.

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Speaker 2: It's gonna be a blast. But okay, you're.

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Speaker 1: Gonna have fun. I'll have dinner with yous. I mean,

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Speaker 1: that's one of my favorite things to do, dinner and dancing.

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Speaker 2: And as long as I'm shying, as long as gonna

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Speaker 2: have to cook it, I'm.

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Speaker 1: In all right now. So before we dive into today's episode,

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Speaker 1: we want to do a little ketch up with you guys, like,

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Speaker 1: what's going on with us, Kathy, what's going on with you?

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Speaker 1: I know, for me, I'm getting excited because I'm sure

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Speaker 1: I mentioned it before. I was nominated for efficient of

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Speaker 1: the Year Award. I don't know if I'll get it,

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Speaker 1: but the time is come, Kata. I don't know what

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Speaker 1: to wear. I think I'm gonna do a post like

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Speaker 1: an evening gowns and have the fans pick one.

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Speaker 2: I've seen what the choice is. You're gonna look gorgeous

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Speaker 2: no matter what you choose. And I'm putting it out

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Speaker 2: to the universe right now. I think you're gonna win

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Speaker 2: this award.

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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. I don't know about winning, but just

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Speaker 1: to be there. I mean, it's an international thing and

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Speaker 1: there's so many titles like you be blown Away. So

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Speaker 1: I'm going to meet people from all over the world.

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Speaker 2: That's so exciting and and you know what, I really

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Speaker 2: wanted to come, but I know, but I've got too

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Speaker 2: So this this event is in early December, mid December,

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Speaker 2: and I've got a couple of Christmas parties with my

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Speaker 2: family and my grandson has some music concerts, so I

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Speaker 2: can't be there. But trust and believe me, I will

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Speaker 2: be rooting for you, and you're gonna win. You're gonna

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Speaker 2: c cart home somebody.

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Speaker 1: Winning is just being around people that you love, and

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Speaker 1: you know, when you get called up to the stage.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like your nerves, oh people, you.

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Speaker 1: Know, harder than being behind the cameras. Like being on

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Speaker 1: the show was not difficult. I forgot the cameras were there.

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Speaker 1: I was just me. But this is like spotlight you know.

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Speaker 2: Well, you know it's funny you say that because you

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Speaker 2: and I just and Nancy just did a an event.

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Speaker 2: Uh in it was. It's a company out of Jersey.

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Speaker 2: It's called Wigs and Wishes and they provide wigs for

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Speaker 2: women and children fighting that dreaded disease called cancer, and

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Speaker 2: then they give wishes, the grant wishes to children. It's

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Speaker 2: not make a Wish foundation, it's a grassroots organization. And Susan,

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Speaker 2: Nancy and I were there as you know, sort of

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Speaker 2: celebrity hosts whatever. And you're right when you're we all

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Speaker 2: were up on stage and in that moment, it's much

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Speaker 2: harder when it's something heartfelt than just having fun.

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Speaker 1: Because the emotions take over. We're not known.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, well you know what, you will be great. I

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Speaker 2: have no doubt. I wish I could be there because

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Speaker 2: but no, Susan, I'm wishing you well from Afar.

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Speaker 1: Thank you, thank you, thank you, and your world.

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Speaker 2: What's going on not you know, not so much.

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Speaker 1: I know soon we'll be talking about the holidays and

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Speaker 1: people dating, and a lot of people get off. Some

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Speaker 1: people I know just get on the dating sites for

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Speaker 1: the holidays, which I think is crazy.

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Speaker 2: Well, you know, I'm not a big fan of dating

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Speaker 2: sites for a variety of reasons. I mean, hasn't been

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Speaker 2: successful for me, but I did so I've always said

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Speaker 2: to you I would love to meet somebody through just

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Speaker 2: a organic way, other than a dating site or whatever.

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Speaker 2: And I actually had a friend set me up with

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Speaker 2: a guy. And it's funny because the holidays really are tough,

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Speaker 2: you know, you go through all the memories and stuff,

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Speaker 2: but it would be nice to meet someone to share.

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Speaker 2: So what to share these things with? Right, So my

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Speaker 2: friend fixes me up and this guy Atlantic Coast Atlantic

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Speaker 2: East Coast guy. I'm from the East Coast. So I'm thinking, oh,

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Speaker 2: this could be it, because you know, I don't seem

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Speaker 2: to jive well with guys with ten gallon hats and

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Speaker 2: skull and holding up dead fish where I live in Texas.

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Speaker 2: Uh love Texas, but you know, there it is. And

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Speaker 2: so I thought, oh this, you know, this could be

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Speaker 2: my time. And interestingly, I knew his situation. His wife

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Speaker 2: had passed away, and you know your mind going in dating.

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Speaker 2: It's so different in our age, right, and so I'm

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Speaker 2: thinking this could be great. On the other hand, this

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Speaker 2: guy's lost his wife in the not too distant past.

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Speaker 2: And honestly, Susan, you know, I called you. We talked

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Speaker 2: about it, like, what do I do, Susan? Do I

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Speaker 2: jump in and try to date the guy?

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Speaker 1: Knowing that maybe to I give that advice to anyone.

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Speaker 1: You have to take a chance, right, It doesn't always

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Speaker 1: work out in your favor, but you need to take

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Speaker 1: the chance. It stings, it stinks.

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Speaker 2: But here's the thing for me, I knew that she

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Speaker 2: hadn't been gone that long, and so I was like,

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Speaker 2: and we all know men seem to find another partner

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Speaker 2: sooner than women and to find their partner. So I thought, well,

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Speaker 2: I can jump in or not. But if I don't

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Speaker 2: jump in, then I don't have a chance. And sure

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Speaker 2: enough I jumped in, and sure enough it became very yeah, well,

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Speaker 2: very quickly that he wanted somebody local, you know that,

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Speaker 2: And so I'm left with but.

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Speaker 1: From what you told me, he wanted somebody that needed

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Speaker 1: him and needed somebody to depend on his finances is whatever.

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Speaker 1: You're very independent, and.

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Speaker 2: I am only to a point, Susan.

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Speaker 1: I know I love our independence, yeah, and sometimes, And

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Speaker 1: I've been told this all my life, and I want

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Speaker 1: to know if you feel the same. Men say they

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Speaker 1: want an independent woman, but they really don't.

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Speaker 2: And can I tell you are singing my song. I've

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Speaker 2: said that a hundred times. They really want someone who needs,

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Speaker 2: someone who depends on them. At least that's been my experience.

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Speaker 2: So that was a tough one for me, especially with

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Speaker 2: the holidays approaching. But you know what, honestly, I was

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Speaker 2: at a Gallo luncheon today and I was talking with

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Speaker 2: the woman next to me and we were talking about

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Speaker 2: She recognized me from the show, and she said, you know,

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Speaker 2: you're such an inspiration. I can't same old thing. I

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Speaker 2: can't believe there aren't men just lighting up at your door.

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Speaker 2: And I said to her, even if I never meet

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Speaker 2: another man or the man, you know what, Susan, I

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Speaker 2: am grateful. I have three great kids, I have five

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Speaker 2: great grandchildren. I have girlfriends, and I have to be

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Speaker 2: happy with that. And I think sometimes that's more important

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Speaker 2: being happy with who I am.

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Speaker 1: It is, But when you're in the moment and you're

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Speaker 1: thinking about saving somebody, you forget all that.

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Speaker 2: And I would love to meet someone. I would, but

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Speaker 2: you know what the lesson I learned is, uh, you know,

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Speaker 2: you have to go for it. If the chance, if

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Speaker 2: you've given the chance, you have to go for it.

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Speaker 2: But also I came off of it dis very disappointed.

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Speaker 2: I mean, you asked me, uh, what I would do

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Speaker 2: if he called me in a month and said it

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Speaker 2: didn't work out with the other woman he met, And

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Speaker 2: I said I would say no, thank you, because no.

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Speaker 1: You said he'd have to like move mountains and have

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Speaker 1: not sitting out there.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I said it would. Actually, you're right, I said

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Speaker 2: it would have for you. I said there would have

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Speaker 2: to be a very grand gesture, like naming a yacht

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Speaker 2: after me. Yeah, you're right. I did say.

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Speaker 1: We have a friend that's about to meet somebody and

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Speaker 1: it's long distance and they've been chatting a while. I

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Speaker 1: won't mention it any names. And yeah, I know you're

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Speaker 1: nervous about it. I'm more excited about it. Kathy is

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Speaker 1: more logical about.

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Speaker 2: This, you know why, because it's it's it's not that

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Speaker 2: I'm logical, Like when I hear that. I don't want

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Speaker 2: to see anybody hurt. I don't like that. And so

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Speaker 2: you know, as the holidays are coming, I'm hoping that, uh,

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Speaker 2: that guy is right around the corner for me. But

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Speaker 2: if not, I have so many things in my life

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Speaker 2: to be grateful for and that's what I'm holding on

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Speaker 2: to absolutely.

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Speaker 1: And with that said, it's leave season. Can I tell.

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Speaker 2: You it's what's the leaves falling? Oh?

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Speaker 1: I get out there with my blower, Cathy, and no,

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Speaker 1: sooner did I finish the front. I get out back

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Speaker 1: and they're down in the front again.

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Speaker 2: Okay, I have to tell you I had thirteen I

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Speaker 2: have a very small yard. You've been to my house.

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Speaker 2: I had thirteen bags of mult spread the other day.

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Speaker 2: I didn't think it through, Susan. The acorns. No, the

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Speaker 2: acorns are now falling on top of the mulcha. And

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Speaker 2: of I don't get the acorns out, then I have

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Speaker 2: oak trees. So every day talk about being anal. Every

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Speaker 2: day I go out and get at least one hundred

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Speaker 2: of the acorns that have fallen, because it's either getting

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Speaker 2: them before they sprout or pulling the mini trees out

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Speaker 2: of the This is what we do when we're not

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Speaker 2: doing our podcast. Friends, Susan is blowing leaves and Happy

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Speaker 2: is pulling out.

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Speaker 1: I put a post out there, let's start talking about

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Speaker 1: the mean people out in the world. People with their

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Speaker 1: comments again, I had the lower and the lawnmower, but

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Speaker 1: I hadn't opened the brown bags yet. They're the big

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Speaker 1: leaf bags to dumb people were commenting, what do you do?

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Speaker 1: Just blow the leaves and mulch them and leave them there,

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Speaker 1: And other people are saying, well, yeah, I think that's

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Speaker 1: like fertilization for you.

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Speaker 2: For you know what, Susan, I've got an idea for

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Speaker 2: a video for you. Take your blower and just blow

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Speaker 2: it at the camera and say all done.

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Speaker 1: There's somebody else. Why are you in white? It was

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Speaker 1: a hoodie. I mean, come on, I.

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Speaker 2: Was filthy, you know what. Lived interiously, go buy yourself

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Speaker 2: a cheap wedding gown at Goodwill and you got to

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Speaker 2: get you know what, give the people what they want.

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Speaker 2: That's what I say. Go get a wedding gown in

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Speaker 2: white and start blowing the leaves.

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Speaker 1: I'm going to go out my sparkly ill cut the lawn.

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Speaker 2: You know what. I gotta be careful though, because mister

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Speaker 2: Wright may be looking at my posts. So you know,

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Speaker 2: I don't want the guy thinking what kind of weird

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Speaker 2: I was out there picking up acorns like I don't.

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Speaker 1: Know, and she's not going to need me. Look at her.

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Speaker 1: She got her power tools going on. Remember that you're

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Speaker 1: Nancy Caven. We had our face done last year, and

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Speaker 1: Nancy Caven she was blowing the leaves because I was

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Speaker 1: out there with the baby right.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, I forgot that.

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Speaker 1: A year already.

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Speaker 2: You know what. Times guys were having fun and we're

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Speaker 2: having a blast. Okay, it's time to get into the episode.

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Speaker 2: Let's start with the question of the day, my favorite time.

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Speaker 2: Are you ready, Susan, Let's do it. Here we go.

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Speaker 2: Since we've discussed settling in a relationship, our listeners are

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Speaker 2: curious on how you draw the line between compromise and

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Speaker 2: settling in a relationship. Ship. So what does compromise look

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Speaker 2: like in a relationship and can compromise turn into settling? Okay,

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Speaker 2: so you and I actually we have talked about this, yes,

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Speaker 2: and the the there is a difference I think between

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Speaker 2: the compromise to.

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Speaker 1: Me, compromises something smaller like settling is something that you

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Speaker 1: just knew, which is one of your red flags, and

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Speaker 1: you're going to go be okay with it. That would

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Speaker 1: be settling for me.

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Speaker 2: Well, I think I think compromise is is a healthy,

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Speaker 2: good choice. Compromising could be something like I don't want

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Speaker 2: to go for Chinese food. I want to go to

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Speaker 2: a steakhouse. Well, I, and your partner says something else.

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Speaker 2: I think those are compromises. I think settling has to

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Speaker 2: do with a compromise, compromising your own moral compass or

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Speaker 2: your value system. So it gets a little confusing when

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Speaker 2: you use that terminology. But settling is for me is

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Speaker 2: when I have been in a relationship and I know

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Speaker 2: it's not the relationship for me. I know that I'm

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Speaker 2: making decisions that don't sit well in my heart, in

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Speaker 2: my spirit, and I've sort of forced myself to do it.

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Speaker 2: Going to a steakhouse instead of a Chinese restaurant, to me,

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Speaker 2: is a compromise, and good relationships make those compromises.

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Speaker 1: Kathy, what do you feel could compromises turn into settling

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Speaker 1: in a relationship?

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Speaker 2: Oh? Well, for me again, at our age, it's a

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Speaker 2: little bit different. But for me, I'll give you a

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Speaker 2: very big example for me and people in our age

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Speaker 2: talk about this all the time. Moving if you find

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Speaker 2: mister Wright, are you willing to move? So to me,

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Speaker 2: if I want to be with the man, it is

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Speaker 2: a compromise. It would be a compromise for me to

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Speaker 2: not see my grandchildren and my kids every week. But

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Speaker 2: I would be willing to compromise because I want to

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Speaker 2: be with the man I'm in love with. That to

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Speaker 2: me would be a compromise. Settling would be this guy

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Speaker 2: wants to move to you know, East Overshoe, and I'm

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Speaker 2: going to see my kids once a year. Then I'm

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Speaker 2: settling because I know in my heart that I want

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Speaker 2: to see my kids and my grandkids more. But I'm

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Speaker 2: afraid of losing this guy. I'm afraid that there won't

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Speaker 2: be another opportunity. So I say, okay, and I move

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Speaker 2: to East Overshoe, which is, you know, four thousand miles

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Speaker 2: around the globe. And I'm miserable I settled.

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Speaker 1: Probably regret it.

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Speaker 2: Oh, I think, I Well, for me, you know what

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Speaker 2: about you? I mean to be yes, I can't settle,

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Speaker 2: so I don't me.

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Speaker 1: Settling is like say you have a picture of what

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Speaker 1: the person should be like, okay, in his qualities, and

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Speaker 1: you're going to settle for less because you don't want

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Speaker 1: to be alone like that is not.

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Speaker 2: See okay, this is where you and I are going

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Speaker 2: to disagree. No, unless you are, you know, Frederick, notwithstanding,

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Speaker 2: I don't think there is a person out there for

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Speaker 2: either of us that meets everything. No, absolutely not. Well

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Speaker 2: you you just said if he doesn't have to, then

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Speaker 2: you're settling.

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Speaker 1: And my list has changed over the years as we

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Speaker 1: both talked about it many times, because we're not looking

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Speaker 1: for the same things anymore. Correct. So what I mean

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Speaker 1: by this is like, for instance, somebody that's rude to

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Speaker 1: the waitress or the waiter, and you're going to settle

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Speaker 1: and say I'm okay with that as long as he

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Speaker 1: says he's going to stop doing it. That's something that's

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Speaker 1: never going to change, and you will end up resenting

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Speaker 1: him for it.

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Speaker 2: That's just as I don't, I don't, I mean, I

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Speaker 2: hear you. To me, those aren't settling issues. That that's

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Speaker 2: a character flaw that maybe was he just had a

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Speaker 2: bad night. No, just maybe had a bad night in

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Speaker 2: a restaurant. I mean to me, settling are the really

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Speaker 2: big issues of life here for me would be settling. Listen,

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Speaker 2: he says, you know, my my, I'm making these things up.

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Speaker 2: You know, my daughter lives in London and we're gonna

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Speaker 2: have to spend every Christmas in London. That's not a compromise.

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Speaker 2: That is settling. That is a big that's not healthy

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Speaker 2: for my brain, for my family, for my own well being.

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Speaker 2: And I think that's what it comes down to. For me.

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Speaker 2: Settling is when you have that icky feeling that this guy.

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Speaker 1: Isn't there that you want, yeah, feeling.

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Speaker 2: There's oh, I don't know. There's always going to be

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Speaker 2: things in a relationship that could be improved. But I

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Speaker 2: think for me it's so clear. I don't know if

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Speaker 2: I'm articulating it well, but for me, settling is doing something,

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Speaker 2: is having a relationship with someone that goes against my

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Speaker 2: inner grain. My spirituality is something that I know that

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Speaker 2: I should be doing this, but I'm doing it.

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Speaker 1: And let me let me put a car, for instance,

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Speaker 1: I want a car that has this heated steering wheel, Well,

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Speaker 1: I'll settle for this car even though it doesn't have it.

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Speaker 1: Like that kind of thing. When it comes to a relationship,

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Speaker 1: that's a whole other world. It's a relationship. It's something

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Speaker 1: that you will live to regret if you.

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Speaker 2: Have you settled in relationships before.

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Speaker 1: I don't believe so, oh I've compromised.

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Speaker 2: Oh I have definitely settled, not long term, because that's

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Speaker 2: why I but that's why it doesn't. That's why it doesn't.

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Speaker 2: But anyway, I think that I think people mistake they

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Speaker 2: mix up the two terms because I could see how Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 2: for everyone out there who doesn't who's in a relationship,

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Speaker 2: who doesn't think you will be compromising, You're going to

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Speaker 2: make a lot of compromises in your relationship. You're going

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Speaker 2: to make a lot of sacrifices to.

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Speaker 1: Make the relationship work. You can't be right all the time.

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Speaker 2: Right and right. And that's why I'm saying it's it's

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Speaker 2: it's those really deep, uh guiding force that when you

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Speaker 2: go against it, then you know you're settling. And it's

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Speaker 2: that feeling like you just try to push it away

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Speaker 2: and and and say it's not the part you know

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Speaker 2: it is, so you know a waight or being rude

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Speaker 2: to a way to that to me is not that's

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Speaker 2: not a settling issue that.

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Speaker 1: But if that was his trait, that he does it

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Speaker 1: all the time, that would be something that yeah, both

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Speaker 1: of you and I both know that we would never

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Speaker 1: tolerate it. We would never agree that that's okay.

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Speaker 2: But yeah, well you know anyway, it's listen. I'd have

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Speaker 2: to have the relationship to talk about compromise or settling.

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Speaker 2: So I mean, I would ask you one thing and

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Speaker 2: you don't have to answer it. What is the biggest

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Speaker 2: compromise you've made with Frederick so far? Because you've told

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Speaker 2: me you're not settling, So what's the biggest compromise you've made?

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Speaker 1: Being okay with him not being as neat as I am?

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Speaker 2: That's the biggest COMPROMI Cath, you know me, that's true.

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Speaker 1: Huge. All right, let's get into our fan questions for today.

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Speaker 2: Frederick get it cleaned up while she's working there to

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Speaker 2: get that house ship shape. All right, I'm going.

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Speaker 1: To start us off, and this is from anonymous Kathy

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Speaker 1: and Susan. I really need your advice. I've always struggled

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Speaker 1: with my relationship with my sister in law. When my

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Speaker 1: husband and I first started dating in college, she and

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Speaker 1: I weren't around each other much for the first two years.

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Speaker 1: They barely acknowledged me, and when they finally did, it

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Speaker 1: often felt like they were poking fun at me. Last fall,

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Speaker 1: four days after my husband and I got engaged, she

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Speaker 1: announced she was three weeks pregnant. To make matters worse,

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Speaker 1: she shared the news at a family dinner that she

398
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Speaker 1: had intentionally not included me in Ooh, it felt like

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Speaker 1: our engagement had been completely overshadowed, and I spiraled. When

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Speaker 1: my mother in law heard we were upset, she made

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Speaker 1: us come over to talk. She revealed my sister in

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Speaker 1: law had admitted she was getting close to me on purpose. Oh,

403
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Speaker 1: she wasn't getting close to me on purpose. Excuse me,

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Speaker 1: My l pressured me. Mother in law pressured me into

405
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Speaker 1: confronting her. So I did, honestly and with an open heart.

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Speaker 1: But instead of apologizing, my sister in law dismissed everything,

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Speaker 1: made excuses, and told me never to bring it up again.

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Speaker 1: Not long after my mom scheduled my bridal shower. Three

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Speaker 1: months before my bridal shower, my mother in law told

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Speaker 1: me the only weekends she'd like for my sister in

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Speaker 1: law's baby shower were either the day after my shower

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Speaker 1: or four days before. I begged her not to schedule

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Speaker 1: it in the same weekend. Unsurprisingly, most of their skip

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Speaker 1: Most of them skipped my shower. My sister in law's

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Speaker 1: baby shower was four days before mine, and she had

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Speaker 1: a second one the day after mine. By this point

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Speaker 1: I had been in therapy for months trying to learn

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Speaker 1: how to best handle their family. Things escalated again when

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Speaker 1: it came to choosing our bridal party. My husband and

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Speaker 1: my mother in law initially agreed it would be easiest

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Speaker 1: if his sister and her husband weren't in the wedding.

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Speaker 1: I was completely fine with this decision given the history,

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Speaker 1: but when we told them, it turned into a yelling match.

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Speaker 1: My sister in law actually said a wedding is an important,

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Speaker 1: a baby is important. Months later, my mother in law

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Speaker 1: took me estate sailing and broke down crying about how

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Speaker 1: devastated she was that they weren't in the wedding. At

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Speaker 1: that point I caved. I was exhausted from fighting and

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Speaker 1: just gave in. So they ended up being in the wedding.

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Speaker 1: After all, Our wedding day itself was beautiful, but their

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Speaker 1: lack of consideration was obvious. They left early and didn't

432
00:24:25,200 --> 00:24:28,320
Speaker 1: even bother to give us a card let, alone a gift.

433
00:24:28,960 --> 00:24:32,919
Speaker 1: After everything, it felt like one final reminder of how

434
00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:36,680
Speaker 1: selfish they are. I need to get past this as

435
00:24:36,720 --> 00:24:40,840
Speaker 1: they are my husband's family. But wow, is that tough?

436
00:24:41,359 --> 00:24:45,360
Speaker 1: How would you handle things going forward? Love you both? Woa,

437
00:24:47,119 --> 00:24:50,560
Speaker 1: they're bitches.

438
00:24:51,840 --> 00:24:53,480
Speaker 2: You know what? I think this might have been my

439
00:24:53,640 --> 00:24:56,800
Speaker 2: sister in law. Oh my, I think this is it's

440
00:24:56,920 --> 00:24:58,720
Speaker 2: my sister in law reincarnated.

441
00:24:58,760 --> 00:25:01,200
Speaker 1: Well wait, I knew you were going to was something.

442
00:25:01,240 --> 00:25:02,440
Speaker 1: But your sister in law too.

443
00:25:02,680 --> 00:25:05,119
Speaker 2: There were two, There were twins. One is the sweetest

444
00:25:05,119 --> 00:25:07,560
Speaker 2: one known to man. The other one is from hell.

445
00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:10,240
Speaker 2: She rides on a broom. Well, let's not let's not

446
00:25:10,280 --> 00:25:13,240
Speaker 2: talk about her, you know, let's just have positive hair. Okay,

447
00:25:13,280 --> 00:25:18,119
Speaker 2: here's what I think. I think a couple of things.

448
00:25:18,400 --> 00:25:23,480
Speaker 2: The husband. First of all, their their behavior anonymous is

449
00:25:24,280 --> 00:25:29,919
Speaker 2: just ridiculous. It's it's intolerable, it is disgraceful, it is rude,

450
00:25:30,200 --> 00:25:32,719
Speaker 2: it's unkind. I can you know. I can give you

451
00:25:32,960 --> 00:25:36,960
Speaker 2: enough abjectives to fill the hour here. But your husband

452
00:25:37,600 --> 00:25:41,679
Speaker 2: and your mother in law agreed that they shouldn't be

453
00:25:41,720 --> 00:25:45,680
Speaker 2: in the wedding. And I'm sorry that you quote unquote

454
00:25:45,800 --> 00:25:51,080
Speaker 2: caved because you could have just left it alone and

455
00:25:51,119 --> 00:25:55,119
Speaker 2: said I'm sorry, you know, your mom, your brother, We

456
00:25:55,200 --> 00:25:58,560
Speaker 2: all agreed and pushed it off on her family. You

457
00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:00,520
Speaker 2: didn't do that, and I understand, and the moment it

458
00:26:00,600 --> 00:26:05,879
Speaker 2: was probably difficult. You're when she says, your sister in

459
00:26:05,960 --> 00:26:08,679
Speaker 2: law says babies are important, weddings aren't. I mean that

460
00:26:08,720 --> 00:26:10,719
Speaker 2: tells you everything right there. But I'll bet you one thing.

461
00:26:10,760 --> 00:26:12,200
Speaker 2: I bet her wedding was important.

462
00:26:12,760 --> 00:26:15,160
Speaker 1: So here's the dare she say?

463
00:26:15,400 --> 00:26:18,800
Speaker 2: Yeah? But here's the thing you But here's the thing.

464
00:26:19,760 --> 00:26:23,240
Speaker 2: They're not nice people. You can spend the rest of

465
00:26:23,280 --> 00:26:27,600
Speaker 2: your life, Anonymous, getting even, or you and your husband

466
00:26:27,640 --> 00:26:32,800
Speaker 2: can have a serious talk about building your own family

467
00:26:33,280 --> 00:26:36,879
Speaker 2: when you have children and seeing your in laws, sister

468
00:26:36,920 --> 00:26:40,520
Speaker 2: in law, mother in law when it is convenient. And

469
00:26:41,160 --> 00:26:44,040
Speaker 2: I'm sorry to say this, but I say it from experience.

470
00:26:44,320 --> 00:26:50,360
Speaker 2: Anonymous put away the idea of the Norman Rockwell family

471
00:26:51,040 --> 00:26:59,400
Speaker 2: Sunday gatherings kumbayah. It's probably never going to happen. So

472
00:26:59,560 --> 00:27:02,280
Speaker 2: you know, be polite, always be polite.

473
00:27:02,720 --> 00:27:05,840
Speaker 1: Yes, what do you think? Obviously there's two choices here,

474
00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:08,679
Speaker 1: like for them not even to leave a card or

475
00:27:09,440 --> 00:27:12,560
Speaker 1: a gift of any sort. To do the same thing

476
00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:14,600
Speaker 1: to her is not something I recommend.

477
00:27:14,920 --> 00:27:18,360
Speaker 2: She's already married, already married, she's already.

478
00:27:18,160 --> 00:27:20,480
Speaker 1: Saying about the baby gifts. You know what I'm saying

479
00:27:20,960 --> 00:27:23,840
Speaker 1: as far as your mother in law is concerned, I mean,

480
00:27:24,359 --> 00:27:28,080
Speaker 1: really to start having a hissy fit because they're not

481
00:27:28,119 --> 00:27:31,320
Speaker 1: in the wedding and then you do this, well.

482
00:27:31,359 --> 00:27:32,359
Speaker 2: No, no, no change.

483
00:27:32,920 --> 00:27:38,600
Speaker 1: The mother in law be this way.

484
00:27:36,640 --> 00:27:39,840
Speaker 2: Yes, but the mother in law and son her husband

485
00:27:40,200 --> 00:27:42,960
Speaker 2: agreed for them, not for her not to be in

486
00:27:42,960 --> 00:27:45,639
Speaker 2: the wedding. I think it's just as you know the

487
00:27:45,680 --> 00:27:48,240
Speaker 2: old in the Old Country. This is a mission us

488
00:27:48,440 --> 00:27:50,800
Speaker 2: and you're not going to fix it.

489
00:27:51,200 --> 00:27:54,040
Speaker 1: So how about when they were talking Kathy about please

490
00:27:54,080 --> 00:27:57,120
Speaker 1: don't have it the same week as my baby shower,

491
00:27:57,480 --> 00:27:59,600
Speaker 1: I mean my wedding shower, and then they did it

492
00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:02,359
Speaker 1: four days before. That's just rude. And half the people

493
00:28:02,400 --> 00:28:03,800
Speaker 1: didn't go to the second one.

494
00:28:04,119 --> 00:28:06,919
Speaker 2: Yeah, so didn't come to the wedding shower. So so

495
00:28:07,040 --> 00:28:11,000
Speaker 2: what you know, focus on the marriage with your husband.

496
00:28:11,119 --> 00:28:13,720
Speaker 2: You know, I have a friend in California who I

497
00:28:13,760 --> 00:28:15,880
Speaker 2: have this conversation with who has trouble with her mother

498
00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:19,560
Speaker 2: in law, similar kind of situation. From you know, she

499
00:28:19,600 --> 00:28:22,120
Speaker 2: seems to have the most fabulous husband and she has

500
00:28:22,160 --> 00:28:27,520
Speaker 2: a fabulous child. And focus on your family. That's what

501
00:28:27,560 --> 00:28:31,080
Speaker 2: I wish I had done more of and just seeing

502
00:28:31,560 --> 00:28:36,520
Speaker 2: the mother in law when I had to seeing.

503
00:28:36,680 --> 00:28:40,000
Speaker 1: The But you know that's stung until you did.

504
00:28:40,360 --> 00:28:44,520
Speaker 2: And that's what I'm saying, Anonymous, learn what took me

505
00:28:44,760 --> 00:28:50,560
Speaker 2: many years. Be polite. Don't invite them on vacation, invite

506
00:28:50,600 --> 00:28:55,480
Speaker 2: them for uh dinner? They can't come, Oh dear, I'm suys,

507
00:28:55,520 --> 00:28:58,800
Speaker 2: So maybe another time. Always be aboud.

508
00:28:58,840 --> 00:29:03,440
Speaker 1: I wouldn't all for dinner, No freaking way for her.

509
00:29:03,640 --> 00:29:06,520
Speaker 2: You know why I would because I love.

510
00:29:06,440 --> 00:29:07,560
Speaker 1: She'd probably cancel.

511
00:29:07,920 --> 00:29:10,120
Speaker 2: That's okay. I love my husband, and if it was

512
00:29:10,160 --> 00:29:13,120
Speaker 2: important to my husband, I would do it. I didn't

513
00:29:13,120 --> 00:29:16,120
Speaker 2: say I would do it. I would say I would invite,

514
00:29:16,200 --> 00:29:18,320
Speaker 2: and then when they say no, thank you, I'd look

515
00:29:18,360 --> 00:29:20,760
Speaker 2: at my husband and say, I love you so much.

516
00:29:20,800 --> 00:29:21,960
Speaker 2: I'm glad we're a family.

517
00:29:23,400 --> 00:29:25,960
Speaker 1: And how about when does sister in law admit it

518
00:29:26,360 --> 00:29:29,880
Speaker 1: that she wasn't getting close to her own purpose?

519
00:29:31,600 --> 00:29:36,000
Speaker 2: Anonymous, they're not nice people. Get over it. You have

520
00:29:36,080 --> 00:29:39,560
Speaker 2: a lovely husband, Get over the fact that your sister

521
00:29:39,600 --> 00:29:42,480
Speaker 2: in law seems to be a selfish bitch. Your mother

522
00:29:42,520 --> 00:29:45,280
Speaker 2: in law seems to be totally invested in her daughter.

523
00:29:45,800 --> 00:29:49,040
Speaker 2: Get over it. So I'm sorry. I don't mean to

524
00:29:49,080 --> 00:29:52,280
Speaker 2: sound hard. I'm giving you the advice Anonymous that I

525
00:29:52,320 --> 00:29:55,480
Speaker 2: wished I had taken my own marriage because my mother

526
00:29:55,520 --> 00:29:58,880
Speaker 2: in law was brutal and my and my father in

527
00:29:58,960 --> 00:30:01,880
Speaker 2: law and it was it really did cause issues for

528
00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:05,040
Speaker 2: my husband and myself and I had a great husband,

529
00:30:05,280 --> 00:30:08,200
Speaker 2: so I do. I always used to say to my husband,

530
00:30:08,560 --> 00:30:10,640
Speaker 2: like did a pity you know? Did you get dropped

531
00:30:10,640 --> 00:30:12,720
Speaker 2: by the stork? Like where did you come from?

532
00:30:13,080 --> 00:30:17,480
Speaker 1: Because you exchange gifts at Christmas? Getter an ugly Christmas Sweatery.

533
00:30:19,120 --> 00:30:21,800
Speaker 2: Okay, we're moving on, we're anonymously.

534
00:30:22,160 --> 00:30:24,600
Speaker 1: I feel your pain. I'm honest to God, and I

535
00:30:24,640 --> 00:30:28,320
Speaker 1: know from Kathy's experience it's not easy. And it's easy

536
00:30:28,360 --> 00:30:33,200
Speaker 1: for us to say, just go about your life, worry

537
00:30:33,240 --> 00:30:35,600
Speaker 1: about you and your husband. But it does sting. We're

538
00:30:35,600 --> 00:30:36,840
Speaker 1: not going to excuse.

539
00:30:36,480 --> 00:30:39,360
Speaker 2: That, right. It does sting, but it's not going to change.

540
00:30:40,080 --> 00:30:44,240
Speaker 2: So don't spend spend your effort making your marriage good,

541
00:30:44,360 --> 00:30:47,720
Speaker 2: making your husband happy, building your relationship. When you guys

542
00:30:47,760 --> 00:30:52,760
Speaker 2: have children, build your family, because ultimately that is what's

543
00:30:52,800 --> 00:30:55,000
Speaker 2: going to matter in your life. And let us know, Anonymous,

544
00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:58,800
Speaker 2: how things go. And by the way, congrats on your wedding. Okay,

545
00:30:59,320 --> 00:31:04,840
Speaker 2: let's move on to question two from another anonymous writer

546
00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:07,640
Speaker 2: and Jesse. Y'all know, don't ever feel like you have

547
00:31:07,680 --> 00:31:09,960
Speaker 2: to put your name in when you send us questions.

548
00:31:10,240 --> 00:31:12,600
Speaker 2: Were going to answer them whether you put your name

549
00:31:12,920 --> 00:31:22,600
Speaker 2: down or not. So good good for you for writing this. Hi, ladies,

550
00:31:23,200 --> 00:31:26,240
Speaker 2: I'm wondering what your take is on couples being together

551
00:31:26,600 --> 00:31:29,440
Speaker 2: for a long time before they get engaged. I've been

552
00:31:29,440 --> 00:31:31,760
Speaker 2: with my boyfriend for three years and we're in our

553
00:31:31,800 --> 00:31:35,760
Speaker 2: mid twenties. We're already getting the quote when you're getting

554
00:31:35,800 --> 00:31:39,520
Speaker 2: engaged questions, and they're getting more and more and more

555
00:31:39,560 --> 00:31:42,440
Speaker 2: frequent from friends and family. My boyfriend and I have

556
00:31:42,480 --> 00:31:46,600
Speaker 2: talked about marriage. We're confident we are each other's endgame.

557
00:31:46,960 --> 00:31:49,880
Speaker 2: My boyfriend is holding off on marriage due to money,

558
00:31:49,960 --> 00:31:52,600
Speaker 2: you know, wedding costs, figuring out where we want to

559
00:31:52,640 --> 00:31:55,200
Speaker 2: settle down, and then buying a house, et cetera. For me,

560
00:31:55,840 --> 00:31:58,680
Speaker 2: not only do I agree with those reasons, I also

561
00:31:58,880 --> 00:32:01,600
Speaker 2: just don't feel ready to get get married. It almost

562
00:32:01,640 --> 00:32:04,880
Speaker 2: feels like I'm too young, even though I'm really not.

563
00:32:05,400 --> 00:32:08,080
Speaker 2: So I know where I stand in my relationship. But

564
00:32:08,200 --> 00:32:10,840
Speaker 2: my question is this Why do people view it as

565
00:32:10,920 --> 00:32:13,120
Speaker 2: such a red flag if you are together for a

566
00:32:13,160 --> 00:32:16,560
Speaker 2: long time before getting married, should I be concerned that

567
00:32:16,640 --> 00:32:19,200
Speaker 2: we don't feel ready yet? I guess I'm just looking

568
00:32:19,200 --> 00:32:22,000
Speaker 2: for an outside perspective to help me feel more confident

569
00:32:22,080 --> 00:32:25,240
Speaker 2: in how I feel. Thanks, ladies, what do you think?

570
00:32:25,480 --> 00:32:28,400
Speaker 1: Literally not? You do it when you're ready. Don't let

571
00:32:28,440 --> 00:32:32,360
Speaker 1: other people influence you one way or the other. I

572
00:32:32,400 --> 00:32:35,680
Speaker 1: think it's just old school. You know, you're together so

573
00:32:35,760 --> 00:32:38,960
Speaker 1: many years, the next thing in line is the engagement,

574
00:32:39,040 --> 00:32:41,400
Speaker 1: and the next thing is the marriage, and then the

575
00:32:41,440 --> 00:32:44,120
Speaker 1: next thing is you have a baby. Not You don't

576
00:32:44,200 --> 00:32:50,040
Speaker 1: have to necessarily follow that rule. You do you? But

577
00:32:50,200 --> 00:32:54,400
Speaker 1: when she says I don't feel ready to get married,

578
00:32:55,520 --> 00:32:59,280
Speaker 1: like it's her age that she said, it's almost like

579
00:32:59,320 --> 00:33:03,120
Speaker 1: I feel too young, even though I'm not. She's good

580
00:33:03,160 --> 00:33:06,240
Speaker 1: in her relationship. But let me ask this, and Kathy,

581
00:33:06,520 --> 00:33:10,880
Speaker 1: I want your opinion. If you're with somebody three years

582
00:33:10,960 --> 00:33:16,920
Speaker 1: and do you not know what is I'm too young

583
00:33:16,960 --> 00:33:17,760
Speaker 1: to get married me?

584
00:33:19,280 --> 00:33:22,120
Speaker 2: Well, they're in their mid twenties and these are all

585
00:33:22,200 --> 00:33:25,160
Speaker 2: judgment calls. I think getting married in your mid twenties

586
00:33:25,240 --> 00:33:27,840
Speaker 2: is about as early, especially in this world in this

587
00:33:27,920 --> 00:33:29,840
Speaker 2: day and time that you want to get married. But

588
00:33:29,840 --> 00:33:32,120
Speaker 2: who am I like, I'm not a judge jury here.

589
00:33:33,400 --> 00:33:38,600
Speaker 2: I mean my daughter dated a guy three years and

590
00:33:38,720 --> 00:33:42,000
Speaker 2: didn't end up marrying. I don't think there's yeah, there's no,

591
00:33:42,080 --> 00:33:47,640
Speaker 2: there's no. I think Anonymous. I think Susan's right. People

592
00:33:47,960 --> 00:33:51,920
Speaker 2: just tend to go with tradition. They tend to go

593
00:33:52,040 --> 00:33:55,680
Speaker 2: with historically people date get married to all those things.

594
00:33:56,600 --> 00:33:59,200
Speaker 2: But I do want to say one thing too, Anonymous.

595
00:34:01,080 --> 00:34:04,640
Speaker 2: Your boyfriend, you said, is holding off on marriage due

596
00:34:05,080 --> 00:34:08,440
Speaker 2: to the wedding costs where you want to settle down

597
00:34:08,600 --> 00:34:12,920
Speaker 2: by a house. Let me just tell you those things

598
00:34:13,160 --> 00:34:16,560
Speaker 2: are fluid in life. You may buy six houses, you

599
00:34:16,600 --> 00:34:20,279
Speaker 2: may move to four different cities. You may decide on

600
00:34:20,320 --> 00:34:23,719
Speaker 2: a huge wedding, you may decide to elope, you may

601
00:34:23,760 --> 00:34:26,160
Speaker 2: decide you're not ready to have children for five years,

602
00:34:26,160 --> 00:34:30,480
Speaker 2: ten years. These are things that change over time. And

603
00:34:30,560 --> 00:34:37,640
Speaker 2: so what I don't hear you saying is that your husband, sorry,

604
00:34:37,800 --> 00:34:40,880
Speaker 2: your boyfriend, is not ready because of the costs and

605
00:34:40,920 --> 00:34:45,160
Speaker 2: those decisions, and you feel like you're too young. So

606
00:34:45,280 --> 00:34:49,920
Speaker 2: what I'm hearing is a good relationship where you two

607
00:34:50,120 --> 00:34:54,440
Speaker 2: enjoy each other. I'm assuming you both work. You know

608
00:34:54,480 --> 00:34:57,719
Speaker 2: where you stand in your relationship and you're comfortable with that,

609
00:34:58,320 --> 00:35:00,560
Speaker 2: and you know what that is a sign of charity.

610
00:35:01,080 --> 00:35:04,440
Speaker 2: You know what you want today. You don't have to

611
00:35:04,480 --> 00:35:07,279
Speaker 2: be looking ten years down the road. But I would

612
00:35:07,360 --> 00:35:10,560
Speaker 2: encourage you and your boyfriend to talk about the fact

613
00:35:10,560 --> 00:35:13,760
Speaker 2: that you know, is the time ever perfect? I assure

614
00:35:13,800 --> 00:35:17,000
Speaker 2: you it's never perfect time to have children. You know,

615
00:35:17,040 --> 00:35:18,960
Speaker 2: the house you buy. A year after you buy it,

616
00:35:19,000 --> 00:35:22,319
Speaker 2: you make it transferred for work, So be a.

617
00:35:22,239 --> 00:35:25,360
Speaker 1: Little more kathy. What about to say, well, let's just

618
00:35:25,880 --> 00:35:28,560
Speaker 1: do us and then when we're twenty nine or thirty,

619
00:35:28,960 --> 00:35:32,000
Speaker 1: we'll revisit the marriage thing. Do we still feel like?

620
00:35:32,200 --> 00:35:35,840
Speaker 1: I mean, what is the wedding? The marriage you commit

621
00:35:35,960 --> 00:35:39,120
Speaker 1: to one another or you're legally binding because of a

622
00:35:39,160 --> 00:35:42,239
Speaker 1: piece of paper and marriage. I don't think they're really

623
00:35:42,320 --> 00:35:44,160
Speaker 1: sure yet. I don't think they're there yet.

624
00:35:44,280 --> 00:35:47,399
Speaker 2: I don't listen, lots of people have children and they're

625
00:35:47,400 --> 00:35:50,520
Speaker 2: not married. Lots of people live together not married, absolutly

626
00:35:50,560 --> 00:35:55,239
Speaker 2: lots of people. Define what works for you, Anonymous, define

627
00:35:55,680 --> 00:35:59,040
Speaker 2: you and your boyfriend define the relationship that works for you,

628
00:35:59,600 --> 00:36:02,960
Speaker 2: and and revel in it, enjoy what you have together

629
00:36:03,400 --> 00:36:05,799
Speaker 2: and don't worry so much about the future, you.

630
00:36:05,760 --> 00:36:09,279
Speaker 1: Know, well, pleas pertay these comments, Kathy, like she's saying,

631
00:36:09,320 --> 00:36:10,680
Speaker 1: why do they always view it as it?

632
00:36:10,760 --> 00:36:10,880
Speaker 2: Right?

633
00:36:11,040 --> 00:36:13,040
Speaker 1: Well, it's when are you going to get married? Just

634
00:36:13,040 --> 00:36:16,400
Speaker 1: say someday, someday ready.

635
00:36:16,120 --> 00:36:17,680
Speaker 2: You know, you know you don't even have to say that,

636
00:36:17,840 --> 00:36:20,960
Speaker 2: say I'm If your friends are married and Anonymous, you

637
00:36:21,000 --> 00:36:23,879
Speaker 2: can say them, I'm so glad you're married and you

638
00:36:23,880 --> 00:36:26,960
Speaker 2: have the life you want. Whatever. Your boyfriend, let's call

639
00:36:27,000 --> 00:36:29,839
Speaker 2: them Johnny. Johnny and I right now are living our

640
00:36:29,880 --> 00:36:32,520
Speaker 2: best lives. We're in this great chapter of our life

641
00:36:32,560 --> 00:36:35,680
Speaker 2: and we're so happy. And you know, life gives us

642
00:36:35,680 --> 00:36:38,200
Speaker 2: all lots of chapters, and we're in this one right

643
00:36:38,200 --> 00:36:41,080
Speaker 2: now and we're having fun and let it go exactly.

644
00:36:41,320 --> 00:36:45,120
Speaker 2: And I'm happy that you found happiness because ultimately, Anonymous,

645
00:36:45,560 --> 00:36:49,280
Speaker 2: finding love and happiness is the most important thing in life.

646
00:36:49,360 --> 00:36:51,479
Speaker 1: It is. And just do you and enjoy this time

647
00:36:51,520 --> 00:36:52,080
Speaker 1: with him?

648
00:36:52,280 --> 00:36:55,279
Speaker 2: Yeah, all right, but let us know, Wait, Susan, you're

649
00:36:55,280 --> 00:36:59,680
Speaker 2: losing your touch. I can't believe you didn't make an advertisement.

650
00:36:59,719 --> 00:37:01,400
Speaker 2: If they do decide to get married, that you're a

651
00:37:01,400 --> 00:37:02,719
Speaker 2: wedding Officiacy.

652
00:37:02,239 --> 00:37:03,359
Speaker 1: Well, she's not ready yet.

653
00:37:03,840 --> 00:37:06,359
Speaker 2: Okay, well when you do. If you do, Susan, we'll

654
00:37:06,360 --> 00:37:09,120
Speaker 2: be available. I can appciate and I'll come throw rose pedals.

655
00:37:09,160 --> 00:37:12,719
Speaker 2: All right, we're going to move in to I love this.

656
00:37:12,800 --> 00:37:16,200
Speaker 2: We're going to do another Golden Spotlight, and this one

657
00:37:16,560 --> 00:37:23,080
Speaker 2: is all about technology. Boy, Okay, let's talk. I mean you,

658
00:37:23,239 --> 00:37:25,279
Speaker 2: I don't know about you. I was born with black

659
00:37:25,280 --> 00:37:27,759
Speaker 2: and white television. Let's just start with that. When my

660
00:37:27,920 --> 00:37:31,399
Speaker 2: kids were young. Yeah, I mean when my kids were young,

661
00:37:31,840 --> 00:37:35,200
Speaker 2: we didn't have computers. My first phone was like a suitcase.

662
00:37:35,560 --> 00:37:37,680
Speaker 2: I remember the first computer I got my kids. It

663
00:37:37,760 --> 00:37:43,879
Speaker 2: was a Macintosh Apple. The thing was just huge. Why

664
00:37:43,880 --> 00:37:45,879
Speaker 2: do you think, I mean, I know what I think.

665
00:37:45,920 --> 00:37:49,240
Speaker 2: Why do you think Golden struggles so much with technology.

666
00:37:48,880 --> 00:37:51,560
Speaker 1: Because they're not used to it. They weren't taught it

667
00:37:51,800 --> 00:37:53,880
Speaker 1: in school. When you do it every day it's a

668
00:37:53,920 --> 00:37:56,719
Speaker 1: part of life, then you learn it better. I just

669
00:37:56,840 --> 00:38:00,680
Speaker 1: know with my A, my my chat, she he's like

670
00:38:00,719 --> 00:38:01,359
Speaker 1: my best friend.

671
00:38:01,520 --> 00:38:03,759
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, but you know that bothers me that you

672
00:38:03,880 --> 00:38:09,240
Speaker 2: use that. Let me just you you went straight to AI.

673
00:38:09,840 --> 00:38:14,120
Speaker 2: You know. AI has some great uses, but it.

674
00:38:14,200 --> 00:38:17,760
Speaker 1: Does for it keeps me from having the Google research.

675
00:38:17,840 --> 00:38:19,759
Speaker 1: I just asked him if he goes and looks.

676
00:38:19,800 --> 00:38:22,319
Speaker 2: Yeah, But see that's lazy, Susan, you're being a lot.

677
00:38:22,400 --> 00:38:24,120
Speaker 1: I don't there's not enough time in the day. Some

678
00:38:24,239 --> 00:38:27,319
Speaker 1: days when you want some information, do you not ask

679
00:38:27,400 --> 00:38:29,760
Speaker 1: Alexa something like Alexa, what's the weather today?

680
00:38:30,200 --> 00:38:30,439
Speaker 2: No?

681
00:38:31,080 --> 00:38:32,600
Speaker 1: I don't ever ask her what the weather.

682
00:38:32,640 --> 00:38:34,640
Speaker 2: I don't ask Alexa what times? You know? I use

683
00:38:34,680 --> 00:38:37,799
Speaker 2: Alexa tron on my music, and I use Alexa set

684
00:38:37,800 --> 00:38:39,480
Speaker 2: a timer when I'm baking.

685
00:38:39,600 --> 00:38:42,160
Speaker 1: Before I open my eyes and I'm laying in bed.

686
00:38:42,160 --> 00:38:44,520
Speaker 1: I want enough time, and I don't want to look

687
00:38:44,520 --> 00:38:47,240
Speaker 1: at a phone or any lights. So I say, Alexa,

688
00:38:47,400 --> 00:38:48,200
Speaker 1: what time is it?

689
00:38:48,239 --> 00:38:53,200
Speaker 2: Okay? But that's then Chap gbt write me a letter

690
00:38:53,360 --> 00:38:56,239
Speaker 2: to my landlord. So I mean, I just think it's

691
00:38:56,320 --> 00:38:57,040
Speaker 2: well worded.

692
00:38:58,000 --> 00:39:00,799
Speaker 1: You wouldn't understand that because you were in English. I

693
00:39:00,800 --> 00:39:01,600
Speaker 1: mean I get that.

694
00:39:02,400 --> 00:39:04,520
Speaker 2: Oh well, all right, back to the tell technology that

695
00:39:04,719 --> 00:39:09,000
Speaker 2: I think. I think goldens. Uh right. We did grow up.

696
00:39:09,800 --> 00:39:14,680
Speaker 2: I know myself. I challenge myself to try to learn things,

697
00:39:14,680 --> 00:39:19,239
Speaker 2: and sometimes I failed late. And but once someone I

698
00:39:19,320 --> 00:39:21,960
Speaker 2: do want to learn, like I want to learn how

699
00:39:22,000 --> 00:39:26,200
Speaker 2: to do as uh, I'll get somebody teach me how

700
00:39:26,200 --> 00:39:28,560
Speaker 2: to do it, or I'll research it, like I'll do

701
00:39:28,600 --> 00:39:32,279
Speaker 2: a YouTube video. But I think goldens are you know,

702
00:39:32,560 --> 00:39:35,319
Speaker 2: they grew up on freaking rotary phones, and you know

703
00:39:35,360 --> 00:39:36,960
Speaker 2: what the young people are listening is going, what the

704
00:39:37,000 --> 00:39:41,960
Speaker 2: hell is a rotary phone? However, I think I think technology.

705
00:39:41,960 --> 00:39:44,600
Speaker 2: I don't know if you if you heard about this,

706
00:39:44,800 --> 00:39:50,520
Speaker 2: but families today, thank god my children are grown, because

707
00:39:51,000 --> 00:39:54,160
Speaker 2: you know, giving kids smartphones when they're six. I don't

708
00:39:54,200 --> 00:39:56,879
Speaker 2: subscribe to it, but a lot of families are going

709
00:39:57,000 --> 00:40:01,360
Speaker 2: back to landlines and giving their kids, like, you know,

710
00:40:01,480 --> 00:40:03,400
Speaker 2: a phone and a phone number. Yeah, go ahead and

711
00:40:03,440 --> 00:40:06,399
Speaker 2: talk to your friends because they don't want them being

712
00:40:07,040 --> 00:40:10,960
Speaker 2: being uh involved. Also social media, you know, that's that's

713
00:40:11,040 --> 00:40:15,480
Speaker 2: my that's right. And technology is social media. It's a

714
00:40:15,880 --> 00:40:21,520
Speaker 2: I I have found doing videos for me. Uh it's

715
00:40:21,600 --> 00:40:25,320
Speaker 2: not as intuitive, That's what I would say younger kids,

716
00:40:25,360 --> 00:40:28,160
Speaker 2: because they grew up on it. It's intuitive. You know,

717
00:40:28,560 --> 00:40:32,279
Speaker 2: click on this highlight post, click, just clicking pieces and

718
00:40:32,920 --> 00:40:36,719
Speaker 2: and to me, that's not as intuitive. But I get it.

719
00:40:37,360 --> 00:40:39,400
Speaker 2: People say to me, Kathy, how can you write that

720
00:40:39,520 --> 00:40:41,600
Speaker 2: so well? I don't know. It's I've done it so long.

721
00:40:41,640 --> 00:40:45,840
Speaker 2: It's intuitive. It's just what we grew up with. However,

722
00:40:46,040 --> 00:40:50,400
Speaker 2: I think a lot of people our age. My sister

723
00:40:50,480 --> 00:40:52,520
Speaker 2: is one for I mean she just told me yesterday

724
00:40:52,680 --> 00:40:55,040
Speaker 2: her she has an iPhone six and she has to

725
00:40:55,040 --> 00:40:57,200
Speaker 2: get rid of it because it's not being supported anymore.

726
00:40:57,360 --> 00:40:58,880
Speaker 1: I mean she used it updated.

727
00:40:59,239 --> 00:41:03,439
Speaker 2: Yeah, she to call people. I mean she. I take

728
00:41:03,560 --> 00:41:07,680
Speaker 2: pride in being twenty nine as I am and learning

729
00:41:07,719 --> 00:41:10,800
Speaker 2: new technology all the time. But I don't think people

730
00:41:11,000 --> 00:41:15,279
Speaker 2: Golden's necessarily want to how many how many people were

731
00:41:15,320 --> 00:41:17,880
Speaker 2: on at before you and I went on the show

732
00:41:18,640 --> 00:41:19,960
Speaker 2: because of my job that.

733
00:41:19,960 --> 00:41:21,480
Speaker 1: I hadn't understand Instagram?

734
00:41:21,480 --> 00:41:23,560
Speaker 2: I know, okay, I was on Instagram. I was one

735
00:41:23,600 --> 00:41:25,680
Speaker 2: of the first. Uh, I had it when it used

736
00:41:25,719 --> 00:41:30,880
Speaker 2: to be and Twitter now my space x when it

737
00:41:30,880 --> 00:41:34,080
Speaker 2: was one hundred and forty characters, like from the beginning

738
00:41:34,160 --> 00:41:36,799
Speaker 2: of time. But you have to want I think you

739
00:41:36,880 --> 00:41:39,840
Speaker 2: have to have a curious mind.

740
00:41:39,920 --> 00:41:42,200
Speaker 1: It does it hard to learn? Yeah? Yeah? And I

741
00:41:42,360 --> 00:41:45,719
Speaker 1: stand it. Yeah, And I think that, Well, do you

742
00:41:45,760 --> 00:41:50,040
Speaker 1: remember your my grandmother, I'm sure yours when we had

743
00:41:50,080 --> 00:41:53,360
Speaker 1: cell phones or a computer and she's like, oh my god,

744
00:41:53,600 --> 00:41:54,960
Speaker 1: what is the world coming to?

745
00:41:55,160 --> 00:41:55,960
Speaker 2: Like what does that do?

746
00:41:56,280 --> 00:41:59,640
Speaker 1: They had encyclopedias that we look up things. You know

747
00:41:59,680 --> 00:42:00,000
Speaker 1: what I mean.

748
00:42:00,000 --> 00:42:02,840
Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, today, I will say I love for

749
00:42:03,040 --> 00:42:07,880
Speaker 2: me all being able to research things online and so

750
00:42:08,280 --> 00:42:10,520
Speaker 2: go down rabbit, you know, type in something on my

751
00:42:10,600 --> 00:42:15,440
Speaker 2: computer and and you can be like you said, type

752
00:42:15,480 --> 00:42:18,600
Speaker 2: that's right there, typewriter. Yeah, but I'm saying I love that.

753
00:42:19,200 --> 00:42:22,279
Speaker 2: I love learning new technology. I'm not as good as

754
00:42:22,320 --> 00:42:25,040
Speaker 2: I would like to be, but I actually like it.

755
00:42:25,080 --> 00:42:29,960
Speaker 2: I will tell you I don't think this affects Golden's

756
00:42:30,400 --> 00:42:33,080
Speaker 2: as much, but it's my PSA for the day. My

757
00:42:33,320 --> 00:42:37,680
Speaker 2: biggest problem with social media, and it just gets more

758
00:42:37,840 --> 00:42:42,440
Speaker 2: with with TikTok and all the different social media platforms.

759
00:42:43,120 --> 00:42:46,680
Speaker 2: Young people today do not They first of all, spend

760
00:42:46,719 --> 00:42:49,280
Speaker 2: too much time in technology. They're just glued to their phones.

761
00:42:49,640 --> 00:42:55,279
Speaker 2: But they also think that everything they see on well

762
00:42:55,320 --> 00:42:59,160
Speaker 2: that it's that it's everyone's complete life. And I always say,

763
00:42:59,719 --> 00:43:03,440
Speaker 2: back when I was an educational consultant, the world that

764
00:43:03,480 --> 00:43:07,200
Speaker 2: we see that people post on Instagram, on TikTok, on

765
00:43:07,480 --> 00:43:11,000
Speaker 2: any social media is the lives they want. It's the

766
00:43:11,040 --> 00:43:14,200
Speaker 2: lives they want to portray that they're living that kind

767
00:43:14,239 --> 00:43:16,680
Speaker 2: of life twenty four to seven, and they're not. And

768
00:43:16,719 --> 00:43:19,319
Speaker 2: so I think that is a problem, which it.

769
00:43:19,320 --> 00:43:22,360
Speaker 1: Is part of the new age, if you will. Because

770
00:43:22,480 --> 00:43:26,680
Speaker 1: me being in hairdressing and I used to give out

771
00:43:26,719 --> 00:43:31,280
Speaker 1: a free makeover, color cut, a whole new look makeup,

772
00:43:31,440 --> 00:43:35,200
Speaker 1: and that would sell me. People would say, who did.

773
00:43:35,160 --> 00:43:36,920
Speaker 2: Now you could just do it, you could just google

774
00:43:36,960 --> 00:43:37,560
Speaker 2: it how to do it.

775
00:43:37,640 --> 00:43:41,160
Speaker 1: Well, no, because now you have to advertise for yourself,

776
00:43:41,239 --> 00:43:43,920
Speaker 1: your bolliage. You got to take pictures of every client.

777
00:43:44,239 --> 00:43:47,279
Speaker 1: I worked on a thirty minute book. And then when

778
00:43:47,320 --> 00:43:50,160
Speaker 1: you're taking pictures, unless you hire a photographer to come

779
00:43:50,160 --> 00:43:53,399
Speaker 1: into salon with you, you have to sell yourself out there

780
00:43:53,400 --> 00:43:55,640
Speaker 1: on social media for hair just because.

781
00:43:55,800 --> 00:43:58,160
Speaker 2: But see, in some ways, I think that's great. It's

782
00:43:58,560 --> 00:44:00,680
Speaker 2: I mean, there's two sides of it. The good side

783
00:44:00,680 --> 00:44:05,320
Speaker 2: of the coin is the tech boom has made its connection.

784
00:44:05,760 --> 00:44:10,600
Speaker 2: It's made connection to careers, to jobs, to people to

785
00:44:11,719 --> 00:44:15,480
Speaker 2: opportunities so much more prevalent. And that's fabulous. I love

786
00:44:15,520 --> 00:44:18,400
Speaker 2: that part of it. I don't like the part that

787
00:44:18,560 --> 00:44:23,839
Speaker 2: people spend too much time, including Golden's, on technology and

788
00:44:23,840 --> 00:44:24,520
Speaker 2: not development.

789
00:44:24,520 --> 00:44:26,440
Speaker 1: We take so much time sometimes because it takes us

790
00:44:26,440 --> 00:44:27,560
Speaker 1: a long time to figure it out.

791
00:44:27,680 --> 00:44:32,799
Speaker 2: Kauz, Yeah, well, yeah, I'm better than most. I actually though,

792
00:44:33,880 --> 00:44:35,799
Speaker 2: could you give up your phone? Could you give up

793
00:44:36,360 --> 00:44:41,239
Speaker 2: no physiastic chat GBT to write our next letter for

794
00:44:41,440 --> 00:44:42,520
Speaker 2: I'm going to get you off that.

795
00:44:42,960 --> 00:44:45,319
Speaker 1: I love that, I love it all right. We can

796
00:44:45,440 --> 00:44:48,359
Speaker 1: just talk about this for hours, you know that, right always?

797
00:44:48,640 --> 00:44:51,640
Speaker 1: And that was fun And I wanted to thank all

798
00:44:51,680 --> 00:44:54,520
Speaker 1: of our listeners for joining us today. We really enjoy

799
00:44:54,680 --> 00:44:57,839
Speaker 1: talking with you, sharing our ideas with you, and love

800
00:44:57,920 --> 00:44:59,120
Speaker 1: when you tell us things.

801
00:44:59,520 --> 00:45:02,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, we we really enjoyed. Be sure to follow us

802
00:45:03,040 --> 00:45:05,879
Speaker 2: Batchelor Happy Hour. We have new episodes coming out every week.

803
00:45:05,920 --> 00:45:07,280
Speaker 2: You don't want to miss even one.

804
00:45:07,680 --> 00:45:11,040
Speaker 1: Not at well, and make sure you submit your questions

805
00:45:11,080 --> 00:45:13,719
Speaker 1: to us, and you remember how to do that. Go

806
00:45:13,880 --> 00:45:18,359
Speaker 1: to bachelornation dot com, slash Golden Hour, or dm us

807
00:45:18,440 --> 00:45:20,600
Speaker 1: on Instagram at Bachelor Happy Hour.

808
00:45:20,760 --> 00:45:23,279
Speaker 2: Yeah, please do that. Take a minute to use your

809
00:45:23,280 --> 00:45:25,560
Speaker 2: technology to reach out to us. That's what we want.

810
00:45:25,880 --> 00:45:28,600
Speaker 2: But in the meantime, listen to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden

811
00:45:28,640 --> 00:45:31,400
Speaker 2: Hour on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you listen to

812
00:45:31,440 --> 00:45:34,240
Speaker 2: your podcasts. Until next time, have a great week.

813
00:45:34,719 --> 00:45:40,360
Speaker 1: Thank you,