Speaker 1: When I wrote, y'all all across the USC conton lots
Speaker 1: bake to l a from on the California the Valley.
Speaker 1: We represent that Kelly County. So if you're keeping it
Speaker 1: real on your side of your town, you tune into
Speaker 1: Gangster Chronicles Gangsters. He's gonna tell you how we go.
Speaker 1: If I lie my nose will girl like Pinocchio, We're
Speaker 1: gonna tell you to choose in nothing but the Gangster
Speaker 1: cronic goals. This is not your average show. You're now
Speaker 1: tuned into the rail M C. E. Bick, James and
Speaker 1: Big Spills from the streets. Hello, where are you at?
Speaker 1: This is o G Gangster Granny and the Gangster Chronicles
Speaker 1: podcast is back in effect. Get ready for some of
Speaker 1: that G ship and bleeds up. Some wanna merrow. We
Speaker 1: like the welcome every one to another episode against the
Speaker 1: Chronicles podcast and I want my homeboys of course, Jim
Speaker 1: and Man. You know, I wanted to talk about man
Speaker 1: mental health in the black community. It's a lot of
Speaker 1: stuff going on. You have, um, a lot of people
Speaker 1: losing jobs right now, a lot of people not being
Speaker 1: able to really go on to earn they keep because
Speaker 1: all these restrictions and I know in places like the
Speaker 1: soft and everything else, everything is pretty much opened up
Speaker 1: and everything, but some people still have to be cautious.
Speaker 1: And we got a lot of businesses and stuff that's
Speaker 1: closing down. And it's kind of like a stigma in
Speaker 1: our communities to talk about mental health because if you
Speaker 1: tell the motherfucker you're gonna go see a psychiatrist, they
Speaker 1: look at you like you're crazy. Why do you keeping
Speaker 1: one hunt? I had a psychas in the third grade.
Speaker 1: Motherfucker didn't teach me nothing, didn't tell me nothing, and
Speaker 1: couldn't change my mind about nothing. Uh. I think it
Speaker 1: was a waste of money. You know, I'm like this
Speaker 1: and keeping it one hunting and and I ain't prejudiced,
Speaker 1: but I ain't. Nobody that don't know me, especially a
Speaker 1: white man, get inside of my head and tell me
Speaker 1: who the funk I am? And you just met me
Speaker 1: that day and then you're gonna die And notice me
Speaker 1: that fat you don't know me like that isn't even
Speaker 1: as a child. So I didn't bite into that bullet ship.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, Draw this square, trade the
Speaker 1: circle and and they sit in the room and watch
Speaker 1: you do it. I put every motherfucking thing on the table,
Speaker 1: try and go. And I took the pens when I
Speaker 1: trade that ship and just sit there. Done in three
Speaker 1: minutes and we're just sitting there. You know. You know
Speaker 1: the thing is, though, James, I feel what you're saying
Speaker 1: because you was eight years old at the time, he said, Right,
Speaker 1: So I know it's an eight year old and maybe
Speaker 1: hard to process. Um, how would that be of help
Speaker 1: to me? You see what I'm saying. But I do
Speaker 1: think sometimes people just need somebody to talk to. Bro
Speaker 1: maybe maybe some people, and it depends, and it depends
Speaker 1: on that person's situation. But mansa situations, I'm going back
Speaker 1: into the same motherfucking environment that I left when I
Speaker 1: came up here, you know what I'm saying. So after
Speaker 1: hour session, I'm going back home. I still gotta look
Speaker 1: at this monster that that feels like he wanted with
Speaker 1: my ass. I still got to go back to the
Speaker 1: neighborhood and figure out how much deal with these five
Speaker 1: little cats, thinking since we're the new kid on the block,
Speaker 1: that they can funk with me. Thinking, okay, I showed him.
Speaker 1: If if y'all folks with that motherfucker, he's gonna I
Speaker 1: ain't gonna let him chage me with no butcher knives
Speaker 1: and ship like that. So I mean, it just it
Speaker 1: just wouldn't work for me. So you was chasing who
Speaker 1: who um James? Who came up with suggestion to take
Speaker 1: you to a psychiatrist the the school, Stephen c I
Speaker 1: figured that. So it was it wasn't mom or dad
Speaker 1: or to your cousin. It was somebody outside the family
Speaker 1: circle who decided, all we need to send him to
Speaker 1: us like growing up and the only thing you hear is, oh,
Speaker 1: he bad as a motherfucker. Uh, and that's we heard that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but this is growing up here that you're bad, and
Speaker 1: not only from your family members, but people at the school, uh,
Speaker 1: the kids at school, just everybody saying it. So I
Speaker 1: believe that you know what I'm saying. So I'm I'm
Speaker 1: I'm growing into this ship. So fighting the teacher and
Speaker 1: busting her nose and then chasing catch with a bunch
Speaker 1: of knives because you ain't gonna work with me. Uh.
Speaker 1: His name was Mr Perez at the time, and he
Speaker 1: uh said he need counseling. So the school had me
Speaker 1: go to Compty Unified Counseling and I went to that ship,
Speaker 1: and apparently they figured that my conversation wasn't worth nothing
Speaker 1: and he gonna be what he is. They kicked me
Speaker 1: out of company unified school district at eight years old.
Speaker 1: I couldn't go to company schools, so I had to
Speaker 1: go to l A. And from l A to ship continued.
Speaker 1: I would get kicked out of school every Wednesday. I
Speaker 1: don't know why it was a Wednesday, but it happened.
Speaker 1: And uh my pops wanted to send me to a
Speaker 1: military school, figuring that I can be I can get
Speaker 1: help there. It never happened, so ship went on the
Speaker 1: way it did. Now do you think that had they
Speaker 1: paid more attention to you, because it sounded like morning.
Speaker 1: Thing you know is you didn't need the whole square
Speaker 1: in the circle thing. You needed the motherfucker get to
Speaker 1: talk to you. Because sometimes with little kids, when they
Speaker 1: ask no, it's kind of a cry for help. Well,
Speaker 1: I thought at that time I was gonna be able
Speaker 1: to tell my story. Why am I going? I like this?
Speaker 1: But I didn't get those Why do you act the
Speaker 1: way you act? You know what I'm saying. I didn't
Speaker 1: get that. They went around and I don't know it
Speaker 1: to make money or to work that clock or whatever.
Speaker 1: But I didn't get that. I didn't get that. I
Speaker 1: never had a chance to talk to uh social workers,
Speaker 1: you know, and everything that I saw it, it was
Speaker 1: like they beat it around the bush like the doctors,
Speaker 1: you know, going to the to the hospital at that time.
Speaker 1: You know, he goes a kid with eight slashes here
Speaker 1: and eight right here, and I'm getting the stitches in
Speaker 1: my head bleeding like a motherfucker. You wonder we this
Speaker 1: kid adn't got this off, no dresser, you know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying. And I'm I'm nervous and scared as the motherfucker.
Speaker 1: You know, you didn't. You didn't get the help that
Speaker 1: you get today. You know what, My wife is actually
Speaker 1: in social work and that's her thing for kids. Shows
Speaker 1: up to her classroom, he should report to heard that
Speaker 1: this kid is coming in with welts on them, you know,
Speaker 1: black eyes and stuff. You can differentiate, the professors can
Speaker 1: differentiate between the boy just being rough and you know
Speaker 1: probably you know, busting his head open and black in
Speaker 1: his eye, between somebody abused him. Because what should have
Speaker 1: happened is they should have spoke to you and asked you, hey, James,
Speaker 1: why are you so angry? What's going on? And what's
Speaker 1: going on? The doctor said, how did he get these?
Speaker 1: And I looked at him. It was the worst his
Speaker 1: motherfucking look ever that looked at He gave me say something,
Speaker 1: I bush your motherfucker like he looked at me like that.
Speaker 1: But if he wasn't standing right there, I would have said,
Speaker 1: that motherfucker right there hit me with somehow his shoes
Speaker 1: and whatever he could, and if he didn't, went to jail,
Speaker 1: show bed see because didn't happen. So, you know, the
Speaker 1: whole persona you lashing out and everything like that. You know, um,
Speaker 1: you becoming the bully, so to speaking to school, you know,
Speaker 1: chasing people, butchering eyes, bombing on teachers and stuff. That's
Speaker 1: a defense mechanism. Well, it's the trickle down effect because
Speaker 1: like you said that, the household was already declaring, oh,
Speaker 1: it's a bad motherfucker right here because of probably the
Speaker 1: abuse he was suffering at the hands of you know whatever,
Speaker 1: Pops or whatever. That's just gonna trickle down the fact
Speaker 1: to the next motherfucker. I don't go damn yeah. And
Speaker 1: we are always taught man as black men, to be quiet,
Speaker 1: don't say nothing about what goes in your house, because
Speaker 1: if you think about the way we got our asks
Speaker 1: put back in the day, they were consider abuse. Because
Speaker 1: I tell my wife about some of the I used
Speaker 1: to you know, especially if you've got parents you know,
Speaker 1: who come from that that era. You know, back in
Speaker 1: the days that the rough life, the forties, the slaves ship,
Speaker 1: all that, the abusive ship. And I used to get whooped.
Speaker 1: You feel me so me as a kid, my mom,
Speaker 1: you know, when I got in trouble or punishment, it
Speaker 1: wasn't looked at as abuse. I'm gonna go outside and
Speaker 1: grab a switch off the tree, and I'm gonnahoop your
Speaker 1: first switch anytime opposed to a stitching cord. No, I'm
Speaker 1: talking about it. When you get an ass whooping with
Speaker 1: a stitching cord and they draw blood. I'm talking about
Speaker 1: over accessive. But you know, back then and and today,
Speaker 1: you know, some people knew how far to go whooping
Speaker 1: their kids ass. But back then we got an ass whoopings.
Speaker 1: Maybe that's why we're different from this generation, you know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, because they don't get their ass whooped
Speaker 1: like that. But I got the stitching cord. The high
Speaker 1: heeled shoes, uh, the fist. I had to fight him,
Speaker 1: you feel me. I had to fight my pops, you
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. I had to grab onto the
Speaker 1: stitching cord and while this nigger got his chest his
Speaker 1: foot on my chest, you know, just trying to hit
Speaker 1: me all different kind of ways. It didn't matter, you
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, hold on whatever the fund because
Speaker 1: this ain't right, because I think we all had them
Speaker 1: to a certain extent. Because I could never put that
Speaker 1: on my step pops. My step pops gave me his
Speaker 1: last name, so I know he loved me. He did,
Speaker 1: you know, the stuff. But like he said, he was
Speaker 1: a motherfucker that was older than my mom. He was
Speaker 1: from Mississippi and he'd been working since he was nine
Speaker 1: and ten. And that's how they just got down, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean, That's how they got down. There
Speaker 1: was no none sense, no talking back, yes sir, no sir, no, ma'am.
Speaker 1: You know, so if I violated that, I ain't gonna
Speaker 1: say he went as far as hitting me with stuff,
Speaker 1: But I'm serio. He was my ask one day with
Speaker 1: a fishing pole dog and it's like it had wells
Speaker 1: on me and I kind of put in my mind
Speaker 1: and I'm not taking no more ask whoopons like that,
Speaker 1: because I was around fifteen at the time, and I
Speaker 1: started getting kind of huff. So one day he walked
Speaker 1: up them stairs to my room because I kind of
Speaker 1: stayed in a little at it right in the third flour,
Speaker 1: you know how, the house in the west. So he
Speaker 1: was walking up there and I see him with the
Speaker 1: rod and this hen first thing I did is kind
Speaker 1: of pushed him back down the stairs and next thing
Speaker 1: you know, he reaching for his pistol because he looking
Speaker 1: at me like like he wasn't shot, Like this motherfucking
Speaker 1: is strong, and I didn't tell gonna. So at that
Speaker 1: point it was time for me to go with my
Speaker 1: real dad for a minute, because you can't be in
Speaker 1: no another man's house and he's scared of you, because
Speaker 1: that pretty much what had happened. So I think, just
Speaker 1: back in the day, man, what I see in our
Speaker 1: communities just this massive transference of pain. Somebody do something
Speaker 1: to me. I'm gonna go do this this motherfucker, now,
Speaker 1: why should he be exempt from it? And especially the
Speaker 1: kids that I felt like wasn't going through the same
Speaker 1: ship that I was doing because it's a subconscious thing.
Speaker 1: I believe we lashed out and transfer that pain that
Speaker 1: we're getting to somebody else. Well, I believe we have excuses.
Speaker 1: We use what we got going on in the house
Speaker 1: as an excuse to do what we do. You know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. But my excuse was legit. I was
Speaker 1: taught to be who I am. I was told who
Speaker 1: I am. I have to be. I was taught that,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. I didn't have it no
Speaker 1: other way. I couldn't. How can you be soft and
Speaker 1: you're going through ship like you know, picture getting the
Speaker 1: ass whooping and your your wounds ain't even healed from
Speaker 1: the last one. That ship hurts when you get hit again.
Speaker 1: Oh no, I'm gonna have to kill. This is that limit? Man,
Speaker 1: I ain't taking the most. That was my time right there.
Speaker 1: And I think all of us man, as as black males,
Speaker 1: even our black women, we are taught to suppress everything.
Speaker 1: Don't cry because I had a stepdad and tell me,
Speaker 1: don't start asking like a little bit to start crying. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that was the mottel. You couldn't have been no black
Speaker 1: dude from our raror a kid, or or a teenage
Speaker 1: or a young man and show no motherfucking tears. That's
Speaker 1: just gonna happen. Then you looked upon as a weak ass.
Speaker 1: Motherfucking Then it don't matter what the situation is. You
Speaker 1: cannot cry, exactly because what that does when you're suppressing stuff,
Speaker 1: see stress as a motherfucker because you hold all that
Speaker 1: ship insides. You don't cry, you already talk, don't cry,
Speaker 1: you don't look like no pump, and you're holding all
Speaker 1: this stuff in here. The next it's angry exactly. But
Speaker 1: check this out, though, James, it's the same ship, right,
Speaker 1: All that ship builds up inside of you. And what
Speaker 1: happens when something builds up and eventually burst, right, So
Speaker 1: that's what happened. The next motherfucker, you cat, she might
Speaker 1: have did something real petty, like bumped into you, not
Speaker 1: on purpose, not paying attention, step on your shoes. Next thing,
Speaker 1: you know, you over this dude whooping his ass because
Speaker 1: he catching all the trauma that you don't been through.
Speaker 1: So it's a massive transference of pain. And so I
Speaker 1: really feel like the ship that you've done in your life, James,
Speaker 1: not making excuses, but you had legitimit pain. Like when
Speaker 1: I talked to you about some of the ships you've
Speaker 1: been through, Bro, I'm like, man, that motherfucker should have
Speaker 1: been locked the funk up immediately. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: You just don't do no kid like that. It's like,
Speaker 1: and I think it all ultimately made us better. Father's right,
Speaker 1: because a day ship, they really I mean, unless the
Speaker 1: motherfucker if you ended up dad buried in somebody, they
Speaker 1: didn't really funk with it, like, especially in our neighborhoods
Speaker 1: and in the kids and whatever. You know what I'm saying,
Speaker 1: Like you said, out of fear of ship, I go
Speaker 1: home and mother gonna fuck me up worse, sir, So
Speaker 1: who am I to tell you? Get me at that?
Speaker 1: I gotta go home? You feel me, that's the fear
Speaker 1: of the ship exactly, Because I remember, man, before I
Speaker 1: got my graves to gathering stuff. Football pretty much saved
Speaker 1: my life. But I remember report cars would come to crib, right,
Speaker 1: and I would try to catch that report card before
Speaker 1: Pops picked it up or Moms picked up. You know,
Speaker 1: moms picked it up. It wasn't that bad, right, But
Speaker 1: if Pops picked it up, and if he saw a
Speaker 1: deal on that motherfucker, I've learned how to change them
Speaker 1: ds and the bees. You feel what I'm saying that
Speaker 1: just manipulate the whole system, because it seemed like he
Speaker 1: just went extra hard on everything. But then me looking
Speaker 1: back as a grown ass man, now I appreciate him
Speaker 1: a little bit more because us he did put a
Speaker 1: lot of good qualities to me as a man, like
Speaker 1: as far as like a man is supposed to go
Speaker 1: to work and take care of his house, so you
Speaker 1: ain't supposed to be living up off no woman. Because
Speaker 1: every day, one thing about that motherfucker everything I saw
Speaker 1: his ass waking up at three in the morning, going
Speaker 1: to work, not coming back home at six o'clock and
Speaker 1: doing the same thing again. He watched the news a
Speaker 1: little bit whoops some asking them in between that if
Speaker 1: he had to and do the same thing all over
Speaker 1: again seven days a week, I didn't have that. I
Speaker 1: had a grandbodt. I didn't have that either, James. My
Speaker 1: father was out of the house by time I was
Speaker 1: gang banging and claiming and all that. My pops was
Speaker 1: in another state. He left. You know, my mom's practically
Speaker 1: raised me, my sister, and my younger brother on her
Speaker 1: own in the streets, so she had to be the disciplinary.
Speaker 1: Like I said, we got the whoopings, we got the punishments,
Speaker 1: we got the but not to disrespect Mars. But by
Speaker 1: the time, like you said, I was fifteen, I wasn't
Speaker 1: hearing ship. My rebellion came might of not having a
Speaker 1: motherfucking father and the household. You know, I talked to
Speaker 1: my pops every now and then or whatever, you know,
Speaker 1: maybe went on a vacation to where, you know, down
Speaker 1: the Oklahoma or wherever he was staying or with it.
Speaker 1: But I didn't have a father in the house. So
Speaker 1: my rebellion came from not and being able to get me, uh,
Speaker 1: regulate with them, with the niggers down the block and
Speaker 1: all that. That's because I didn't have no pops in
Speaker 1: the house. So I don't know what the presidents would
Speaker 1: have been. But a lot of rebellion and and ship
Speaker 1: comes from niggas who don't have pops in the household.
Speaker 1: Exactly what will I would say? I say that all
Speaker 1: the time, man, And that's why with our father the
Speaker 1: father program that we're establishing, because a lot of fathers
Speaker 1: do want to be involved. You've got some women that
Speaker 1: don't want to, let you know, man, you know, do
Speaker 1: his job or whatever like that, you know what I'm saying,
Speaker 1: and keep him away from the kids because she got
Speaker 1: a problem with him. And really, that's the worst thing
Speaker 1: a woman could do to their kids because it ain't
Speaker 1: a buckshure with They don't know no better either, because
Speaker 1: once the relationship goes sourd, she feeling bitter, she's feeling used. Uh,
Speaker 1: that's the only thing she have for leverage to to
Speaker 1: her the motherfucking you know what I'm saying. Like like me,
Speaker 1: it was a difference to me because I couldn't stand
Speaker 1: my mom's you know what I'm saying. My biggest gripe
Speaker 1: with her was how could you let him do this
Speaker 1: to me? You feel me? And no, she was sitting
Speaker 1: there on the edge of the bed and watched this ship.
Speaker 1: Wait a minute, you know it's natural that you project
Speaker 1: your kids, you know what I'm saying, And and I
Speaker 1: didn't get that. So I'm growing up and game banging
Speaker 1: down is you know, and she's say something to me,
Speaker 1: I'll snap, bitch, I don't want to hear ship. Fuck
Speaker 1: you get the funk out of my motherfucker. You know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. And it wouldn't till I went to
Speaker 1: prison that I had to just like check myself, you
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, Damn you know, and trying to
Speaker 1: understand that she loved him more than she loved us,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, or you know, her thinking
Speaker 1: that it was my fault and it ain't my fault.
Speaker 1: You sucked another dude. If he's feeling like and I'm
Speaker 1: just keeping it one hunted, if he felt like I'm
Speaker 1: not his son, you must have been sucking around now here.
Speaker 1: I gotta this dude coming to me telling me he
Speaker 1: my pops. But really, in reality, I think I've been
Speaker 1: damned that thirty fuck you two? What was you at
Speaker 1: one house? Getting my ass? Mother? A mother can't stop
Speaker 1: you from I'm going to get my son, giving me
Speaker 1: money and sliding ship to me. Come rescue me, motherfucker.
Speaker 1: So when when when when I went to prison, it
Speaker 1: changed everything. Prison taught me. Prison made me to like
Speaker 1: realize a lot of ship, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: And from the day I got out of prison, everything
Speaker 1: I did I did for my mother because I felt
Speaker 1: out older, because I put it through a lot of ship,
Speaker 1: you know. So it's just pretty much the ship I
Speaker 1: learned from my grandfather. The rest of it is self taught,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. And I really felt like
Speaker 1: I can be this fucking monster, because once I started
Speaker 1: smelling the fear of motherfucker's and the and the running
Speaker 1: from me, and the and walking away from me and
Speaker 1: can't look at me, man, I felt like, Okay, I
Speaker 1: got these motherfucker's. You know, at that point, didn't it
Speaker 1: didn't matter, you know what I'm saying. It didn't matter
Speaker 1: to me, you know. And my mom used to just
Speaker 1: tell me, kick back, kick back, you need to relax
Speaker 1: other things. It's coming for you. You need to do this.
Speaker 1: I didn't want to hear ship, But what where where mom,
Speaker 1: James are? I'm listening to mob James the whole time.
Speaker 1: I didn't want to hear nobody else. I wouldn don't
Speaker 1: know snatching persons, I wouldn't know uh uh, climbing through
Speaker 1: motherfucking windows. I was just a goddamn game banger, and
Speaker 1: I was happy being one. I would certified being one,
Speaker 1: and that's the only thing that meant to me. Hold
Speaker 1: that thought, brother, We'll be right back still James eight,
Speaker 1: y'all neggas better give me my fire dollars. I put
Speaker 1: that on the set. I need to go get me
Speaker 1: some water. Mirror my motherfucking feet fucking with me. Gangster
Speaker 1: chronicles of my ass pay granted her money, This gangster granny.
Speaker 1: Y'all know me? Where you at? This is the question
Speaker 1: for you. Do you think this gave you purpose in
Speaker 1: the family? The gang banger? What you mean the purpose
Speaker 1: in the family? Like like, do you think, um, the
Speaker 1: gang banging gave you kind of like a reason to beat,
Speaker 1: so to speak, and like a family, kind of like
Speaker 1: a family that you didn't have at home. No, it was,
Speaker 1: it was. It really wasn't no difference. I'm in the hood.
Speaker 1: I'm hanging with the homies. I'm getting used to the homies.
Speaker 1: I'm kicking it at the homies house. They just became
Speaker 1: part of because now everybody is hanging in my house,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. And man, I got so
Speaker 1: many goddamn stories and and every cat that know me,
Speaker 1: if they come in my house at six seven o'clock
Speaker 1: in the morning, I'm pulling a rifle out the window.
Speaker 1: Find at their assoun think y'all know it's too early.
Speaker 1: I'm shooting them motherfucker's. But the hood gave me that.
Speaker 1: I ain't worried about it. I I ain't worried about being homeless.
Speaker 1: I got somewhere to go, I'm gonna eat. I'm missing that,
Speaker 1: so I didn't. I wouldn't insecure about it because I
Speaker 1: had something to do. I'm on the block all damn day,
Speaker 1: hanging out, trying to you know, sell fucking rocks and
Speaker 1: ship so and then I had my two brothers, you
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. So that was family, you know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. And and you know, my sister's and
Speaker 1: them were My little sister was with it. My other
Speaker 1: sister was, let's say, Beverly Hills like no, no, you
Speaker 1: gotta love your daddy, shut the funk up. And I
Speaker 1: used to take take shi out on the boyfriends, you
Speaker 1: feel me, instead of hurting them, because that's one thing
Speaker 1: I hated. And I watched how my pops beat up
Speaker 1: my mother, you know what I'm saying. And I hated
Speaker 1: a motherfucker that be the woman and won't be the man,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. And I didn't understand when
Speaker 1: he was at the motorcycle club and my fuck you,
Speaker 1: big man, guess my mother, damn me ain't doing nothing
Speaker 1: to this dude. Yeah, this is motherfucker talking ship. But
Speaker 1: they talked ship like that. But at that time, I
Speaker 1: don't I don't know why you ain't getting in this dude.
Speaker 1: Ask why you didn't get in? My uncle ass. You
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, He tells me. I gotta say yes, sir,
Speaker 1: or motherfucker. He telled me, I don't have to say that,
Speaker 1: but my uncle says, say yes, sir, and I wouldn't
Speaker 1: say it. I don't give a funk what he did
Speaker 1: to me, punching on me the whole nine. I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna say yes, sir, he said. I ain't gotta never
Speaker 1: say that to no other man. So I'm going by
Speaker 1: what he's trying to instill in me. I ain't getting that.
Speaker 1: He mob. You shouldn't hear my uncle choking me telling
Speaker 1: me to say this ship. I'm looking at this dude,
Speaker 1: why do you snatch his hand off me? So it
Speaker 1: wasn't nothing he can say right there, his ship was
Speaker 1: shot with me. And you know what, you know this
Speaker 1: one thing I noticed man in our community, it's a
Speaker 1: lot of secrets, man, Like I'm gonna tell you on
Speaker 1: the women's side, it's a lot of young girls to
Speaker 1: get raped at home, get sexually abused and never say
Speaker 1: nothing and just hold all that in. Man, it's a
Speaker 1: lot of pain in our community. But products of the environment. Man,
Speaker 1: it's what happens in a lot of situations. Family members
Speaker 1: or motherfucker's close to home, motherfucker's where you know, you know,
Speaker 1: you gotta be supported by you know, and and and
Speaker 1: then like in in James situation, like he said, with
Speaker 1: Momsy's sometimes you know, women feel like, you know, being
Speaker 1: quiet and going along with the program and ship saves
Speaker 1: them in a sense. So you know, you never know
Speaker 1: about what kids have to go through in the situation.
Speaker 1: So it's a lot of hidden secrets well being a
Speaker 1: kid and being touched by the uncle, mama, boyfriend, et cetera.
Speaker 1: They're scared to talk, they're scared to say something. And
Speaker 1: the ones that do what happens, Oh, he ain't tried
Speaker 1: to touch you. Mama takes the side of the man,
Speaker 1: because that's that's support the structure. It's fucked up, but
Speaker 1: you know, and and women bring all different kinds of
Speaker 1: men in front of their kids. They shouldn't do that, Yeah,
Speaker 1: which I never understood. I know some women today that
Speaker 1: won't bringing nick in front of their children. Amen for them,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. But you got women that
Speaker 1: won't you to meet their kids. Come on, man, you
Speaker 1: don't know what typing to guy I am. You don't
Speaker 1: know if I like boys or girls? Are both? Yeah,
Speaker 1: and that happens a lot to you know what. The boys?
Speaker 1: You got little boys that don't been And then we
Speaker 1: wandered around and it's like I was telling somebody the
Speaker 1: other day. I tried my best. Man, I ain't perfect,
Speaker 1: but I tried my best not to pass judgment on
Speaker 1: people because I don't know what they've been through. You
Speaker 1: know a lot of people that a lot of women
Speaker 1: you see walking the street now doing different stuff, and
Speaker 1: you just, you know, we quick to call them holes
Speaker 1: and bigs or whatever like that, but they haven't been
Speaker 1: in some pretty traumatic ship. I had a home girl
Speaker 1: to stay next door to me. It was four girls,
Speaker 1: and I learned later on because the four girls was
Speaker 1: all real promiscuous, right. They was known wh there's the
Speaker 1: girl's neighborhood if you want to go. They was everybody's
Speaker 1: first piece of a you know, but you find out
Speaker 1: later on, years later that their dad was real strict,
Speaker 1: that strict motherfucker. He was in there touching on all
Speaker 1: the little girls. Man. You know, he eventually he something
Speaker 1: eventually happened to him, and I don't know if he
Speaker 1: got locked up at what, but he eventually got, you know,
Speaker 1: caught up with that ship I heard. But he was
Speaker 1: doing this for years. Man. And all of those girls,
Speaker 1: I think, out all four of them, maybe one of
Speaker 1: them turned out all right, but the mother three girls
Speaker 1: is lost because they had secrets that they couldn't tell. You. Now,
Speaker 1: just imagine you gotta motherfucker. You're a little girl, you're
Speaker 1: a little boy in some cases, and you got a
Speaker 1: motherfucker to come to your room every night and have
Speaker 1: his way with you, and you can't say nothing. You
Speaker 1: go to your your mama or somebody you think will
Speaker 1: help you. Boys. Stop lying. You're lying, girl, you're lying.
Speaker 1: You didn't do that, or it's your fault that you
Speaker 1: did that. And besides that, you got the motherfucker that's
Speaker 1: doing it to him. Tell me if you say something anything,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna kill him. And that that that you know, uh,
Speaker 1: female is calling that type of situation. You know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying because like I said, we uh men, sometimes
Speaker 1: we get caught in the fun up worlds of control
Speaker 1: and abuse and all that ship to do motherfucker's and
Speaker 1: then women be feeling like maybe you know, because they
Speaker 1: support system, or they came from a broken home or whatever,
Speaker 1: So they got to turn the other cheek, because then
Speaker 1: what's gonna happen to me if I if I speak
Speaker 1: up or if I do the protection, then what happens
Speaker 1: to me? You get me, you know, especially if they
Speaker 1: that type, if they're not strong or independent or you know,
Speaker 1: like funk that you know, I get my own money.
Speaker 1: You know, you've got a lot of females like that
Speaker 1: today who are very independent and who won't stand for
Speaker 1: certain ship. But you know, back in the days of
Speaker 1: old or whatever, or so certain situations where you know,
Speaker 1: where mama is depending on the man bringing home the
Speaker 1: bread or it's that structure or whatever, so they'd be
Speaker 1: feeling like, well, what the fund is gonna happen to me?
Speaker 1: So they kind of turn the other cheek and answer
Speaker 1: where you come with the men, that's where you come
Speaker 1: with the rebellion from the kids at young ages or whatever.
Speaker 1: Well that's why That's why they got to understand. And
Speaker 1: it goes back to what I was saying earlier, excuses
Speaker 1: we being a stripper. I got a reason why I'm
Speaker 1: a stripper. We got excuses. We need to get rid
Speaker 1: of the excuses because I don't have them an excuse
Speaker 1: for the ship that I've done in my life. You
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. But I chose to use and
Speaker 1: say it was because of my daddy. You know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying. Funk all of that. When you eighteen seventeen sixteen,
Speaker 1: you know better, your mind is growing, You understand, you
Speaker 1: know right from wrong. You know what I'm saying. When
Speaker 1: you see motherfucker's out there shaking the ass and and
Speaker 1: and and tworking and ship, you know better. You know
Speaker 1: better what type of woman you want to be? What
Speaker 1: type of woman? What type of man do you want?
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. If you if you working
Speaker 1: in the strip club and you get a nigger in
Speaker 1: the strip club that's watching you dance, and then he
Speaker 1: wants you to quit. I know y'all heard this so
Speaker 1: many times. You met me in the strip club, So
Speaker 1: why should I quit? Admitted the situation and change, ain't it?
Speaker 1: You got a good man, Now, I got you. You
Speaker 1: ain't gotta do that. No, it's already here, it's all.
Speaker 1: She already conditioned and and and she's gonna stay in
Speaker 1: the motherfucking strip club. Nig I don't know if you're
Speaker 1: gonna leave in a week, why should I quit? You
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. I'm telling you, man, it's just
Speaker 1: so fucked up, and it all boils down to fuck excuses.
Speaker 1: We just don't have no respect for each other, ourselves,
Speaker 1: real ship. Hey, let's pay some bills real quick and
Speaker 1: we get right back to y'all still James eight, y'all
Speaker 1: niggas better give me my fire, Donard. I put that
Speaker 1: on the set. I need to go get me some wannamera.
Speaker 1: My motherfucking feet fucking with me, Ga, the chronicles of
Speaker 1: my assay Granny, her money's gangster granny. Y'all know me?
Speaker 1: When you know what the deals in our community, we
Speaker 1: do like to play the blame game a whole lot.
Speaker 1: We pointed everybody, We pointed at the police officers. Uh,
Speaker 1: we pointed everybody else, right, But we don't respect one another.
Speaker 1: We don't. We don't respect one another. Um. I was
Speaker 1: talking to Bobcat, you know DJ Bobcat the other day
Speaker 1: and he said that, man, he said, you know what, still,
Speaker 1: I really want to change this narrative because he said,
Speaker 1: you know, the worst thing I ever did in my life,
Speaker 1: because you know, Bobcat was one of the found the
Speaker 1: members of Rolling forty cripp And he said, he goes
Speaker 1: back and he listened to these young cats start when
Speaker 1: he said, that's not something I'm proud of because it
Speaker 1: don't been. I can't think of not one good thing
Speaker 1: that our hood is done besides a bunch of motherfucker's
Speaker 1: leaving the planet way too early, a bunch of destruction,
Speaker 1: and a bunch of mama's crying. He said he went
Speaker 1: to his homeboys funeral when he was younger, seventeen eighteen something.
Speaker 1: He said, that's when he realized, he said, man, this
Speaker 1: is some fun ship we created. It is you know,
Speaker 1: it's a it's a poisonous cycle. So I think we
Speaker 1: all have a lot of problems in the black community.
Speaker 1: Not just did we create the gang mentality or did
Speaker 1: we or did we adopt that from all the ship
Speaker 1: that we were have we're seeing before us, we adopted
Speaker 1: what we saw exactly. Nothing was created we had that.
Speaker 1: We hate when people say that we created the gang
Speaker 1: ship and we started gang banging all that because it
Speaker 1: was the imagery of being the tough guy and the
Speaker 1: men with the pistols and running the neighborhood that came
Speaker 1: back from long before was doing that way before us.
Speaker 1: So we adopted that mentality and that lifestyle because it
Speaker 1: was a way that we saw too to to to
Speaker 1: to you know, extend the pot or the piole or
Speaker 1: the money or the recognition or the ownership or be
Speaker 1: long men or whatever it is. But this is our neighborhood.
Speaker 1: We're gonna protect it. So we we are this. But
Speaker 1: we didn't form ship. We didn't start like whatever. We
Speaker 1: got that idea from other ship that was created. I
Speaker 1: think it was fond from all the ship that was
Speaker 1: just going on. Gat war ain't war is nothing but
Speaker 1: female lived over here fucking with a nick over here,
Speaker 1: and that nick over here that was just bitch nigga
Speaker 1: you over there sucking her and he goes over there.
Speaker 1: But the homies don't know why this nigger gotta beef,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. And you got I mean,
Speaker 1: this ship has been way before our time. You know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. So here you got a big gas
Speaker 1: game ward and it's it just got out of hand. Now,
Speaker 1: motherfucker's just pretty much beefing over the same old bullshit.
Speaker 1: But they're just more personal with it now than back
Speaker 1: then in the days. You know what I'm saying. Back
Speaker 1: in the days, you can see the homies and hang
Speaker 1: out and really didn't have to worry about these niggers
Speaker 1: coming to do a drive by. Now hit him eighty
Speaker 1: one eighty two. Niggas ain't got thirty eighth, No more
Speaker 1: niggas using oozys and big So it's totally different. But
Speaker 1: it's just game banging has the same concept that it
Speaker 1: did when it first came to the hood. Nigga's protecting
Speaker 1: the neighborhood. So we think that that's what it is.
Speaker 1: We thought that's what it is, but then it went
Speaker 1: more personal because the leaders didn't like that motherfucker or
Speaker 1: this dude didn't like that motherfucker's so exactly, So it
Speaker 1: just broke down to a lot of different ships and
Speaker 1: and and everything had a reason for it. This is why,
Speaker 1: this is, this is how whole boy got killed. This
Speaker 1: is why everybody has an excuse for something. But now
Speaker 1: it's just so fucking it's so it's fucked up now,
Speaker 1: you know, even with the way the world is going
Speaker 1: down and the way ship is changing. You know, these
Speaker 1: nineteen twenty year old cats that that have my development
Speaker 1: ain't paying attention that man at any time, Uh, we
Speaker 1: could be attacked by whoo whoo whoo, the the uh
Speaker 1: white supremacists out there like on one hundred and wants
Speaker 1: you to see them. You know what I'm saying, niggas
Speaker 1: is getting hung and we're overlooking it, you know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying. And you're looking at all of these motherfucker's
Speaker 1: that's going to jail to day at the Capitol that
Speaker 1: was in law enforcement. I'm talking about top ranked motherfucker's
Speaker 1: and we're doing and but think these motherfucker's that's killing
Speaker 1: us in these police cars. What you think these motherfucker's
Speaker 1: is they're only showing us they out here. Now, Yeah,
Speaker 1: y'all didn't hire some racist motherfucker's. And they're coming from
Speaker 1: the military's all ranks regardless. Here they are and they're
Speaker 1: taking us out and we ain't even paying attention. But
Speaker 1: we're killing each other. You know what I'm saying, because
Speaker 1: we're naive and we don't give a funk and we
Speaker 1: don't listen, we don't use this. And every time I
Speaker 1: say this ship, I ain't talking about them, I'm talking
Speaker 1: about we. We because I'm a very big part of
Speaker 1: our situation today. You know what I'm saying. It's catching
Speaker 1: my neighborhood today want to be like that dude, or
Speaker 1: in every hood somebody want to be like that dude.
Speaker 1: Every hood somebody want to be like m c A.
Speaker 1: You feel me if it's if it's rapping, but man,
Speaker 1: I'm in the hood. I gotta get my grind on.
Speaker 1: It ain't coming to way it's coming. But they want
Speaker 1: to be like him. You know what I'm saying. Everybody
Speaker 1: is portrayed. I don't give a funk if your own
Speaker 1: or off camera, somebody is portraying you. You know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying. So we are we we we are the
Speaker 1: fucking gatekeepers of our own motherfucking self. We just gotta
Speaker 1: figure out, like when the US be saying with the killing,
Speaker 1: we're killing each other and we're not noticing that it's
Speaker 1: outside motherfucking forces that are creeping who've been killing us
Speaker 1: for years. But we learned how to hate each other
Speaker 1: so much. We gotta figure that fucking ship out. Well,
Speaker 1: get your get your head out of the dirt and
Speaker 1: and and start paying attention to life. Uh, stop being
Speaker 1: so goddamn proud of nothing. Because if you don't want
Speaker 1: to get a goddamn job and work at McDonald's, and
Speaker 1: then you met at the Mexican as you met at
Speaker 1: the White kids, that's working at McDonald's taco bells and
Speaker 1: all that other ship, that's your goddamn fault. If you
Speaker 1: kick alluminum can, pick that motherfuck up, you just kick
Speaker 1: five set, motherfucker. And Yeah, and when you see people
Speaker 1: collecting them cans and are selling ice creaming ship, here
Speaker 1: we go on the easy come up and we want
Speaker 1: to take that ship. These motherfucker's just trying to work
Speaker 1: for this ship with no excuses. You don't have an excuse.
Speaker 1: You got You got these Muskan ladies out there at
Speaker 1: least fifty in their sixties doing aluminum plastic the whole
Speaker 1: nine time. We got too much motherfucking pride to pick
Speaker 1: up a can. We got too much pride to work
Speaker 1: at McDonald's. I worked for that eleven bucks man. That
Speaker 1: ship helps. Yeah, you know the weirdest thing I see, man,
Speaker 1: and it was real crazy to me. Man, you will
Speaker 1: see a kid, some young people hanging out. You know,
Speaker 1: they're smoking the weed, just doing whatever, right, and you
Speaker 1: tell the motherfuck hey, you know they hang over here
Speaker 1: around the corner everything. Man, they only paying ten dollars.
Speaker 1: And now through that mentality and nigger can feel like
Speaker 1: I can sell me some ya or I can sell
Speaker 1: me some ship, and I can make two three hundred
Speaker 1: dollars a day compared to working at McDonald's getting the check.
Speaker 1: You get me to the young mind, Um, you have
Speaker 1: to understand the mentality. They gotta understand. My I got
Speaker 1: a sixteen year old son, so his mentality everything is,
Speaker 1: you know, I want the freshest ship, I want the
Speaker 1: latest gear, the nicest phones. That's where I want this
Speaker 1: and that. Then when he's listening to his favorite rapper quote,
Speaker 1: you know a nigga fucker, bitch, fucker bitch, you know
Speaker 1: pop that Draco money, money money. You know, look at
Speaker 1: my Balenciaga, this my shoes, this my dad. That influences
Speaker 1: a motherfucker to go working at No motherfucking McDonald's ain't
Speaker 1: gonna get me. No, Balenciaga. But I'm gonna tell you
Speaker 1: when you was doing, when you was going on tour
Speaker 1: and all that ship and doing videos halving the jury
Speaker 1: that was coming and half of the cards that was
Speaker 1: coming to the set of that video shoot, went right
Speaker 1: back to where it came from. Or didn't have my book.
Speaker 1: My thing was as a rapper coming up, I never
Speaker 1: wanted to exploit that side of ship. If it was
Speaker 1: in mind, I don't want it. That's what I tried
Speaker 1: to stick to as an MC coming up. I never
Speaker 1: wanted to go outside of my boundaries to make motherfucker's
Speaker 1: think that it was something it wasn't. If you don't
Speaker 1: see the motherfucking Rose Royce in the video, that's because
Speaker 1: I don't got one. Well A, you gotta look at
Speaker 1: it to not to cut you off, bro, but you
Speaker 1: have to look at it. That's why you respected from
Speaker 1: east to west because you always portrayed the realness of
Speaker 1: the neighborhood. There wasn't never no phony or nor to
Speaker 1: the youth, but to some youth like to me growing up,
Speaker 1: when I saw the nigger on the block with the
Speaker 1: el Co with the plush and the brand new Dayton's
Speaker 1: and the motherfucker. I thought, or ship going to McDonald's
Speaker 1: ain't gonna get that. So what did I do? I
Speaker 1: started selling crack because that's what's going That was, that was,
Speaker 1: it was already talked to me. I didn't have the
Speaker 1: father at home going you work hard, you go to work,
Speaker 1: you bring the money home, you saved. I didn't get
Speaker 1: taught that. And then as a youth being able to
Speaker 1: hit the block, young, I was taught to serve and
Speaker 1: and and and get money. Now that that's what my
Speaker 1: mentality was. Not until I got older, I knew all
Speaker 1: this ship ain't for me, but everything that you didn't have,
Speaker 1: you try to get to your son, right exactly, my
Speaker 1: four year old grandson. We're in the Stoke. We're in
Speaker 1: Walmart and he said, I said, you want this? I
Speaker 1: think the chore was like or something. He said, no,
Speaker 1: I want that. I said, that comes too much money. No,
Speaker 1: I'm not feel about that. No, I want that. He's
Speaker 1: learning two. You know what the fun you want? You
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, the value, But I don't want
Speaker 1: to teach him that. You know what I'm saying, that's
Speaker 1: ship quick and swear the gout on my MoMA. Me
Speaker 1: and we got a big gass avocado tree in our
Speaker 1: front yard in Compton, and we had one in the backyard.
Speaker 1: Me and my two brothers picked avocados. Took him back
Speaker 1: then and was market basket and took him in front
Speaker 1: of the store. We went and got a basket and
Speaker 1: loaded that basket up. And back then they had crocus sacks.
Speaker 1: Remember that. We used to one of the pair of
Speaker 1: crocus sacks back the motherfucker and it was J. J. Newberry's.
Speaker 1: They love to see us coming. We learned how to
Speaker 1: buy our own ship because our dad he wasn't giving
Speaker 1: us no fair of shoes from from alchin Fee was
Speaker 1: bigger than mine. His shoes that he was wearing. I
Speaker 1: went to me and the motherfucker's when I couldn't fit them.
Speaker 1: The more they said in the goddamn closets, ain't no
Speaker 1: throwing shit away. Now that I'm teaching and my kids
Speaker 1: see different ship, they don't have to want for nothing.
Speaker 1: And that's why they when they get grown, they think
Speaker 1: Daddy's supposed to still be there. No, you're a grown motherfucker.
Speaker 1: You do what you want. I ain't got that noticed
Speaker 1: what the young kids either, they don't value stuff like
Speaker 1: they should, because the thing is, and I think y'all
Speaker 1: might have had the same way if I did get
Speaker 1: that nice pair of tennis shoes, then motherfucker's came off
Speaker 1: when I came home, right, you know, school close. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you don't wear your your decent clothes or your school clothes.
Speaker 1: And when you come home, you take that ship off.
Speaker 1: You put on them old shoes, that old short set,
Speaker 1: or that old T shirt. Because our parents back then
Speaker 1: knew the struggle and knew what it was, you know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. So the value the kids nowadays, they
Speaker 1: don't know really the value of the dollar. They don't
Speaker 1: have to. Like to my son, my son every day
Speaker 1: he wants to run the fucking uh the in and
Speaker 1: outer canes every day. I want this. I want that
Speaker 1: you try. And then they don't value the dollar you
Speaker 1: get me because it's every day. It's like And then
Speaker 1: I had to tell another thing, Niula, do you know
Speaker 1: I give you about dollars a day a day, not
Speaker 1: a week. For a fifteen year old kid, I give
Speaker 1: you thirty bucks a day, and I'll be like, and
Speaker 1: then I never saw that. And in my wildest dreams,
Speaker 1: my mom's are pops handing me thirty bucks and then
Speaker 1: just like the other day, just bought him a brand
Speaker 1: new helmet last season, brand new four hundred dollar right
Speaker 1: there on helmet. You think I need me a brand
Speaker 1: new helmet this year, I need me that so and
Speaker 1: so so and so. I'm like, dude, are you kidding?
Speaker 1: So they don't understand the value of a dollar nowadays,
Speaker 1: because all lacy is rich, rich, rich, money, money money.
Speaker 1: And then a lot of our kids in this generation,
Speaker 1: if you don't take ahold of them and show them
Speaker 1: the hard work of Because you got some kids out
Speaker 1: there and go to school, they get them after school,
Speaker 1: job whatever, whatever. But a lot of the kids, you know,
Speaker 1: like myself, grew up looking at the fantasy life of
Speaker 1: what it was to be the rapper or beat or whatever.
Speaker 1: So they haven't taught or hard They haven't taught hard
Speaker 1: work or growing up hard, so they misguided in some way.
Speaker 1: Like you said, James, little little nephew walked in the
Speaker 1: stow like twenty bucks. But she's got to give a
Speaker 1: kid a dollar to day. Look at you like what
Speaker 1: you can do. This is a true story. Last year,
Speaker 1: my youngest son, two good kids. I bought him un uht.
Speaker 1: He had it for like maybe two weeks. Mother called me,
Speaker 1: come get in, which you mean, come get it. The
Speaker 1: battery dead? Charge the battery. Why is the battery dead?
Speaker 1: Because when he picked it up, you never drove the car.
Speaker 1: He wanted me to pay for the insurance. To motherfucker.
Speaker 1: I just bought you a car. If my mama would
Speaker 1: have bought me one card had been cool, if my
Speaker 1: daddy would have bought me a card had been cool,
Speaker 1: I just bought you a motherfucker, and you say, come
Speaker 1: get it. It was a nice car too, I told
Speaker 1: his wife. I said, come on, let's go. I went
Speaker 1: to motherfucking him it. I picked that motherfucker up and
Speaker 1: drove it home. I said, okay, I say thou dollars,
Speaker 1: I might as well keep this motherfucker. Then I said,
Speaker 1: fuck it. My uncle hit me up. Oh I heard
Speaker 1: you got the car, come get it. My uncle bought it.
Speaker 1: But you ain't never had a car dare in your
Speaker 1: motherfucking life. And this is what I say, I'm not
Speaker 1: passing us to find my children. Exactly. You ain't never
Speaker 1: had a car down Once I came and got that one,
Speaker 1: and you know it's done. You what you calling me phone,
Speaker 1: I need a car. Before I before I bought that
Speaker 1: car for him, I gave me my truck, my suburban.
Speaker 1: You had that motherfucker for a year, came back, cans, bottles,
Speaker 1: all kinds of ship in the motherfucker right, my god,
Speaker 1: damn nig returned ship that don't had it for a
Speaker 1: whole year. Right after that, he gets the car. Right
Speaker 1: after that, I go get the car and bam, now
Speaker 1: you're calling me and telling me you want a car.
Speaker 1: What you want me to do about that? Imbody? You
Speaker 1: know motherfucking car? Well, you gotta who woo uh? You
Speaker 1: ain't me and you ain't playing for the motherfucker. You
Speaker 1: know it's sad to say. You know, my my daughter
Speaker 1: is in jail. You know what I'm saying. She don't
Speaker 1: want to listen. She want to do her own thing.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. All the time and money
Speaker 1: that I spent trying to help her, she still wanted
Speaker 1: to do her regardless of what I say. Babe, you
Speaker 1: need to you need to get out of Compton. Let's
Speaker 1: get out of Compton. Let's find an apartment or something.
Speaker 1: I ain't even comfort now what you want me to do?
Speaker 1: Now I get a phone call. She didn't stand out
Speaker 1: with the police. I couldn't say ship, but she got
Speaker 1: her daddy, her mom, and you know what I got,
Speaker 1: I got her son. So don't thank you for the
Speaker 1: call me and have me sending your packages and ship.
Speaker 1: I ain't looking with you. But when you come home,
Speaker 1: I got you, because this a whole new start. I
Speaker 1: got you. You're gonna have that support system when you
Speaker 1: come home. But I'm not finished spend semi five dollars
Speaker 1: just to hold a conversation with you over the phone.
Speaker 1: You know the phone. It changed. You gotta get a
Speaker 1: card and all that. I'm not They're not going to
Speaker 1: get rich off me. I'm not gonna do that. So
Speaker 1: you'll be talking to somebody else. So and this is
Speaker 1: how this is how funked up it is. If if
Speaker 1: you want to write, you got to address, write a letter,
Speaker 1: write me a letter. I write you back, stamp and ship,
Speaker 1: I write you back. I love you to death. But
Speaker 1: I'm just saying, you know, if we pacify our kids, man,
Speaker 1: and keep giving them what they want and keep belting
Speaker 1: them out and all that other ship man, we were favorite,
Speaker 1: We're nothing my favorite lacause they've never learned. I wanted
Speaker 1: to ask you, James, you know, because this all times
Speaker 1: get what we're talking about, man, And this is a
Speaker 1: question for you to eight. How many people in the
Speaker 1: neighborhood do you think suffer from post traumatic stress? This
Speaker 1: order threw all that just threw all the ship that
Speaker 1: everybody don't have been through she pretty much everybody from
Speaker 1: being shell shocked, well, from being shot at and running
Speaker 1: in and from being in your ask what by the police? Uh?
Speaker 1: Getting your asked what by the homies? Uh? Oh kind
Speaker 1: of ship? You know what I'm saying. I mean what
Speaker 1: I mean to what degree though? Some other fucker's just
Speaker 1: what that type of ship? Some other funer's just truly
Speaker 1: accept getting the asked what by the police? Now, this
Speaker 1: is the definition of PTSD SYS. For every one people
Speaker 1: who experienced a traumatic event, up to eight of them
Speaker 1: will go on to develop PTSD, a serious and severe
Speaker 1: form of panic disorder. The suffering when trific when triggered,
Speaker 1: will experience PTSD symptoms, including a rap of irrational all
Speaker 1: encompassing flight or flight response to the stimula. Stimula could
Speaker 1: be a place, male, sound, or person that reminds them
Speaker 1: of the traumatic event, everybody walk into planet, would you
Speaker 1: just drive pretty much everybody that's been involved, that are
Speaker 1: lived in the neighborhood, Are that that that experience get
Speaker 1: the gang life cold? Just should? I say? Everybody that's
Speaker 1: that's pretty much out there. Everybody done. Everybody got a story.
Speaker 1: Everybody got a story. Uh. But the only difference is
Speaker 1: your story not like mine. You know, our stories are
Speaker 1: like fingerprints. Everybody got their own unique story. And there's
Speaker 1: a lot of people out there that that been through
Speaker 1: it and still don't understand, still don't understand. You got
Speaker 1: some cats out there in the sixties still don't understand
Speaker 1: and still don't know how to get away from what
Speaker 1: they experienced all their life because that's all the funk
Speaker 1: we know. Don't have a way out. So what you
Speaker 1: just described there is pretty much every everybody in this
Speaker 1: room then went through it and whatever somebody could say,
Speaker 1: some foul that triggers us to go there. Well, you
Speaker 1: know the thing he was like, I talked to some
Speaker 1: people like I was talking to my kids one day, right,
Speaker 1: and it kind of tripping me out, and I forget
Speaker 1: sometimes that they was raised in the environment totally different
Speaker 1: than I was. Right, we was watching the Boys in
Speaker 1: the Hood movie, you know, to them, that's all new stuff.
Speaker 1: So we're watching Boys in the Hood at home, right,
Speaker 1: and it comes to the part where the kid walk
Speaker 1: up on the dead bite said, here, y'all want to
Speaker 1: see a dead body, you know when they go over
Speaker 1: there and see it, right, and my son's and I'm
Speaker 1: looking like, damn, you know, motherfucker's laid out like a dog,
Speaker 1: I said, man snatchural, I said, east side of Cleveland,
Speaker 1: you will be walking to school and see a motherfuckering
Speaker 1: inside of the road and the ditch. You know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying, holding his head, holding his face. You know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. I saw motherfucker one time, look like
Speaker 1: his whole face was gone. And after a while, you
Speaker 1: become kind of desensitized to that ship. And that's the
Speaker 1: crazy part about it. You think that would be shocking
Speaker 1: to most people, but you could become desensitized to it.
Speaker 1: So it's it's definitely a whole bunch, And I think
Speaker 1: that man. I think what you went through was a
Speaker 1: funked up experience and it gave you probably a bad
Speaker 1: view of therapy, But therapy, I think some people need it. Man.
Speaker 1: If I wouldn't mob, James, I wouldn't be here today exactly.
Speaker 1: Look at something and then the I think Black people,
Speaker 1: us as a whole, we deal with that type of
Speaker 1: ship situation differently than other people. You know, see a
Speaker 1: lot of kids who commit suicide or do kind of ship.
Speaker 1: But I think as a people, we deal with certain
Speaker 1: situations differently than other other races or other creeds or whatever.
Speaker 1: It's just who we are. We can you know, we've
Speaker 1: been through a lot of traumatic ship. We seem to
Speaker 1: be able to handle traumatic ship better than a lot
Speaker 1: of people. That's because we're lucky. We're lucky we got
Speaker 1: out of it. We're lucky we survived the ship. And
Speaker 1: there's a whole lot of cats out there like you
Speaker 1: and I that are lucky and able to sit here
Speaker 1: at fifty say thank you. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: It's a lot of brothers, bloods and cuyps turned into god.
Speaker 1: They preachers, you know what I'm saying. They don't care
Speaker 1: about man. Brother, I gotta word for you, stopping you
Speaker 1: in the street. You know what I'm saying. Gang banking
Speaker 1: has has went so far to the left. You know,
Speaker 1: you pick up this goddamn phone and go on Facebook.
Speaker 1: You got gang members having sex with gang members. You
Speaker 1: feel me, it's just so not it. It's crazy as
Speaker 1: crazy as and and you know, I'm like this. When
Speaker 1: I was in prison, I've seen a lot of motherfucker's
Speaker 1: fucking and getting fucked by other men. And I've seen
Speaker 1: a lot of motherfucker's come home to the streets with
Speaker 1: their chests out their pants, still saving and doing them
Speaker 1: because what I did independitentially, they haven't got nothing to
Speaker 1: do with my my gangster bulls shit. It does everything
Speaker 1: that we do, it reflects on us as a man,
Speaker 1: just just me being me. Everything I do reflects on me,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. And and and cats don't
Speaker 1: get it. You know you got that ship they called
Speaker 1: what a d L or some ship niggers on the download.
Speaker 1: You got a lot of that bullshit. Yeah, you know
Speaker 1: what the thing that pissed me off about that because
Speaker 1: let me tell the people out there for y'all get started.
Speaker 1: We don't care about what somebody's lifestyle, but we your truth,
Speaker 1: live your truth. Don't do this on the downlow and
Speaker 1: go back and put other people at risk because that's
Speaker 1: what you're doing. Well, that ain't what what I was
Speaker 1: saying was U was that the ship is so watered
Speaker 1: down down today. And you know, you got a lot
Speaker 1: of us getting killed over still this color of the
Speaker 1: rag or and half of the ship is homies killing homies.
Speaker 1: It ain't what what game banging started out to be
Speaker 1: or where where when game banging went from bloods being
Speaker 1: bloods and crips being crips, nick and let's get at
Speaker 1: each other. You know what I'm saying. Now his homies,
Speaker 1: well it's been like that from the beginning of time.
Speaker 1: But now his homies just out front, just you know,
Speaker 1: shooting the nig in his back for for a little money,
Speaker 1: setting up the homie because he funk with his bitch.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. There's so much pussy on
Speaker 1: this planet. You ain't gotta fight for one. But but
Speaker 1: but niggas just doing over this thing called love, you
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. So all of this ship is
Speaker 1: so fucking watered down. You got gangsters, You got niggas
Speaker 1: with khaki suits on getting fun, pulling his pants down
Speaker 1: and bending over. Come on, man, that ain't what this
Speaker 1: ship was designed to be. This and and everybody ain't
Speaker 1: gangsters everybody and gangsters and can't be gangsters gangster by nature,
Speaker 1: not by choice. You can't be no self made as gangster.
Speaker 1: You can't be a gainster because that nigga said you're
Speaker 1: with the business. You ain't no gainster because you put
Speaker 1: up a pistol and shot a motherfucker. You feel me,
Speaker 1: You ain't no gangster because you're doing all this dumb shit.
Speaker 1: And and I was never that because everything I just
Speaker 1: described I was doing. That didn't make me no motherfucking gangster.
Speaker 1: That made me made me. I was just statistic. I
Speaker 1: did what I thought was right and and and and
Speaker 1: that's how I wanted to live. Yeah, this ship ship
Speaker 1: is crazy, and nas need to get their motherfucking get
Speaker 1: their motherfucking mind right. Whatever you did in the penetctrial,
Speaker 1: touch much some motherfucker's the nickel told me in the
Speaker 1: penetuctual they had life. I never see no money, I
Speaker 1: never touched another female. I never get no pussy. So
Speaker 1: the closest thing to fucking is going to somebody's ass. O. Man,
Speaker 1: on that note, On that note, right there, man, You
Speaker 1: know everybody's situation is different. Research and get you some help.
Speaker 1: You can't get that shot out there. I got something
Speaker 1: I want to talk about. The real quickness told you
Speaker 1: all for this. Our hundred episode is coming up man
Speaker 1: next month on the mark. Which should we do for
Speaker 1: the people already got a couple of the long term
Speaker 1: fans that they go come through. You know what I'm
Speaker 1: saying that all through? Should we open this up? I
Speaker 1: know what the COVID ship going on. Everything welcome something
Speaker 1: special I see up here. We got all the hand
Speaker 1: sanitizers and masses is mandatory. We want to celebrate our
Speaker 1: hundred episode with with the people that help us got
Speaker 1: here get here and a couple of fans. Yeah yeah,
Speaker 1: and uh, they don't have to worry about nothing when
Speaker 1: they come. Just sit back and we do our show
Speaker 1: it or whatever, do our Hunted episode and maybe we
Speaker 1: can get them up here at the round table and
Speaker 1: and let them tell them what they love about the show.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, I really believe that I
Speaker 1: mean giving back. Oh yeah, for sure, we gotta go
Speaker 1: out the bottles of champagne. Yeah, because you know, especially
Speaker 1: because I'm looking to you know, shout out to Eric
Speaker 1: Cai road to dusting um and if I miss your name,
Speaker 1: I'm getting no don't do that. But I see y'all,
Speaker 1: and I notice y'all, and I appreciate y'all because y'all
Speaker 1: have been at guys there from day one to the
Speaker 1: changes that the show went through when they've been there,
Speaker 1: and really pretty much because of y'all, that's why we're here,
Speaker 1: you know, and exactly just keep on the lookout for that.
Speaker 1: We're gonna be posting more information about that. And that's it. Phillis.
Speaker 1: I want to say one last thing, Um, we got
Speaker 1: a lot of kids out here still. I know you
Speaker 1: can reflect on this one too before we get out
Speaker 1: of here. With the mental health thing, with the situation
Speaker 1: in California and a lot of kids not being able
Speaker 1: to play sports right now, a lot of kids are
Speaker 1: depressed and uh, you know, committing suicide or just being
Speaker 1: way deep into depression. So just hanging there, you know,
Speaker 1: I'm one steal is one. We all got kids, grandkids,
Speaker 1: you know, uh, and it's a serious situation. So um,
Speaker 1: and noticing that other states are allowing their kids to
Speaker 1: play sports and all that, so we need to just
Speaker 1: get back to some kind of normalcy, you know, try
Speaker 1: to watch your kids out there, watch the signs of
Speaker 1: depression and if you can, then just try to get
Speaker 1: your kids out there to try to do some kind
Speaker 1: of activity exactly because they got club ball now they
Speaker 1: got all kinds of stuff. Um, And like hey said,
Speaker 1: we're here. If y'all need somebody to talk to, you know,
Speaker 1: hit us up, hit us up. You know that that's
Speaker 1: what we're here for. This is not you know, we
Speaker 1: don't do this for no type of glory. You know,
Speaker 1: we're not chasing fame of money or not here that
Speaker 1: we're here to help, you know. Like I said, James
Speaker 1: talks to people, get them, you know with his knowledge,
Speaker 1: uh steal you and myself, like I said, being involved
Speaker 1: with kids in sports, you know, so we all have
Speaker 1: something to lend to the to that aspect. Sorry, Yeah,
Speaker 1: if y'all feel free, hit us up, d MS, contact
Speaker 1: us whatever you can if you need somebody to talk
Speaker 1: to about the situations exactly because I'm sorry James, but
Speaker 1: the statistics to this ship man, since sports been gone,
Speaker 1: they said, it's been an increasing team pregnancy, more kids
Speaker 1: of killing themselves, more kids are going to jail, joining
Speaker 1: the James and stuff. So it's like it's it's very
Speaker 1: important that we keep these kids and important that we
Speaker 1: find something and give them something to do. They gotta
Speaker 1: need out, and that out is to have have some
Speaker 1: way where they can call and talk to people like us.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. I swear to God to y'all,
Speaker 1: I am so passionate about this ship. I am so
Speaker 1: passionate about helping cats like me. I see a whole
Speaker 1: bunch of these little dudes walking around here, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: if they only knew when I should have been. Man,
Speaker 1: let me high light you something. Don't want to howl,
Speaker 1: but let me high let you. Man. I see the
Speaker 1: same facial expression. I had that expression when I was thirteen.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. You know it? You know,
Speaker 1: I know it's a lot of these young dudes out
Speaker 1: here that can't be reached but want to be reached.
Speaker 1: We just gotta just keep doing what we're doing and
Speaker 1: and touch as many as we can, you know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying. So one day we're gonna be in a
Speaker 1: position to where, you know, talk is achieve. Fuck the bullshit. Uh,
Speaker 1: you're gonna see James McDonald out there. You know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying, would be right with your right You know,
Speaker 1: That's what the Father and Father foundations. For Yeah, I know,
Speaker 1: I'm just I'm just speaking because I see it every day.
Speaker 1: I see it every day and cometing right now in
Speaker 1: the day we got all of these these kids. They're
Speaker 1: still killing each other over bullshit and niggas ain't got
Speaker 1: no grapes. They just killing each other in l A.
Speaker 1: They're just killing each other, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: And at some point they got to stop because you know,
Speaker 1: one thing we do, we quickly kill each other, opposed
Speaker 1: to going up to the If five motherfucking white supremacists
Speaker 1: come down East l A And with the businesses on
Speaker 1: some bullshit, the majority of us ain't gonna know what
Speaker 1: the fund to do. Oh that's for real. But you
Speaker 1: know what, you know what's funny about that, And I'm
Speaker 1: gonna leaving on this note. I saw a guy say
Speaker 1: something the other day. He was saying, you know it,
Speaker 1: I killed white people, and he did on purpose. Right first,
Speaker 1: he said, I killed niggas all day. It ain't nothing
Speaker 1: to me. Nobody said a word. But the moment he
Speaker 1: said I kill white people, it's like everything just went ballistic.
Speaker 1: Just think about that a little bit, Sean. I see
Speaker 1: it every day. Yeah, yeah, we holic y'all next week. Well,
Speaker 1: that concludes another episode of Against the Chronicles podcast. Be
Speaker 1: sure to download the I Heart app and subscribe to
Speaker 1: the Gainst the Chronicles podcast For Apple users, find that
Speaker 1: purple mic on the front screening your phone, subscribe to
Speaker 1: the show, leave a comment and a rating. Executive producers
Speaker 1: for The Gangster Chronicles of Norm Steel James McDonald and
Speaker 1: Aaron M. C taylor. Our visual media directors Brian White.
Speaker 1: Shows audio editor is Taylor Hayes. The Gangster Chronicles. Here's
Speaker 1: a production of The Black Effect Podcast Network and I
Speaker 1: Heart Media. Any questions to comments hit us up The
Speaker 1: Gangster Chronicles Podcasts at gmail dot com. Peace be safe
Speaker 1: out there in Chronicles. He's brought you by, but brought
Speaker 1: you back. Podcast Network