00:00:08 Speaker 1: But I invited you here, thought I made myself perfectly clear. 00:00:17 Speaker 2: But you're a guest to my home. 00:00:21 Speaker 1: You gotta come to me empty, And I said, no, guests, your presences presents enough. I already had too much stuff, So how did you dare to surbey me? 00:00:49 Speaker 3: Welcome to I said, no gifts. I'm Richard Wineker. We're in the backyard. I'm here, you're here on a Lisa's here, the guest is here. There may be someone in the bushes. Unfortunately, the other night I did have a prowler. I've had just gotten home from the gym. I was looking and feeling my most insane. It was late dusk, very little light out, beautiful purples in the sky. I had to take the garbage cans out to the street. So as I was taking the cans out, in the corner of my eye, I saw a blur move into the driveway next door. I thought, that's not how Dan or Kim usually move. But I kept doing the garbage cans, wrapped up the garbage can business and thought I would just go take a look. Went and looked up their driveway. Nothing there. So I got everything out of my car. I locked the car, went ahead into the house and as I was walking up the stairs, I looked down to my left and they're crouching was a prowler. We made direct eye contact. My heart pounding, I fled into the house, locked the doors, called nine one one. They put me on the non emergency line, which is essentially fifteen minutes of waiting on hold for someone to tell you good luck. Ah. But while I was doing that, I was texting my other neighbor. He decided to take things into his own hands. He went to investigate and the prowler was gone. He had vanished. We went and looked in the backyard. We looked all over the place. We had a flashlight. He was gone, but I'm not ruling anything out. He could still be here. And if that's the case, Prowler. Welcome to the podcast. Ah, we should get into it. I love today's guest. It's stillce Saloon. Hello. 00:02:55 Speaker 2: We're talking about a cat, right. 00:02:56 Speaker 3: We're talking about a full grown man, human man, human man. 00:03:00 Speaker 2: Lord of buff Oh. No, you gotta get a stick. 00:03:04 Speaker 3: I've got to get something, maybe a taser. 00:03:07 Speaker 2: No, I think I'm saying in the Southern rap colloquialism of a stick being a weapon, like I've never heard stick his weapon. Yeah, we meant a gun. That's what we mean by a stick, a large pat. 00:03:18 Speaker 3: I should not be trusted with a gun. 00:03:20 Speaker 2: Oh, there's training, you can get it. Listen. There's something about just being like, hey, listen, you might want to prowl, but you might want to back up. But also you know, I come from a state where is legal if somebody's on your property a long as you don't shoot him in a back and Gucca man still got away with. So everybody get off my lawn. Get off my lawn. 00:03:39 Speaker 3: If I went to shoot a prowl or I would absolutely trip and shoot myself. 00:03:42 Speaker 2: Well, then that's why you got to get an air rifle. 00:03:44 Speaker 3: What's an air rifle? 00:03:46 Speaker 2: So basically it's like a BB gun. 00:03:48 Speaker 3: Oh so it's more like for scaring away. Yes, it's like it probably hurts stings, but it's lethal. 00:03:54 Speaker 2: I mean listen, as someone who had a boy in my neighborhood had a BB in his hand. O, Hi man, listen, cousins or cousins, you. 00:04:02 Speaker 3: Know what I mean. So yeah, I can get embedded. 00:04:04 Speaker 2: I mean, he's just perfectly fine. They're not made of lead. 00:04:06 Speaker 3: He'll be all right, so this bbie is permanently just stuck in this guy's hand. Yeah, interesting, he's fine. 00:04:13 Speaker 2: I mean, you know, listen, unsupervised on supervised after school. So which is how I lost my virginity? I don't know the rest of y'all. 00:04:20 Speaker 3: But from a rifle, an air rifle, not. 00:04:22 Speaker 2: Him, from another neighbor. But yeah, ut nize air rifle. Okay, a bb like a daisy BB gun. I mean they said they'll shoot your eye out, so they take out the prowler. 00:04:33 Speaker 4: My brothers had BB guns and my brother did not. Oh interesting, well his glasses were too heavy. 00:04:40 Speaker 3: I was never interested in a BB gun, so I'm not trained. But an air rifle maybe maybe that's the way to go. 00:04:45 Speaker 2: She's cute. 00:04:46 Speaker 3: Yeah, that's a fun little I look legit. If there's a raccoon, oh, I don't shoot. 00:04:52 Speaker 2: Raccoons are nice, the little in the night away, Oh you would listen. Raccoons don't care about nobody. I don't know how you care. 00:05:00 Speaker 3: Even an air rifle, it's not gonna you have a fun. Imagine you shoot it with the air rifle and it's still coming at you. 00:05:06 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, raccoons, you gotta have real rappens. Baby, they don't care about nobody or nothing. But yeah, like, uh a raccoons. You just need like loud noises for raccoons. But the problems you just sturb our neighbors with loud noises of course, so you just have to like lock your trash cans. That's really what you have to do with a raccoon. 00:05:23 Speaker 3: But how do Yeah, I guess I could get some lat but then it's like I have to unlock the trash can every time I want to put the garbage in it, exactly. 00:05:29 Speaker 2: But these little carbage cans of the little pails ain't really I mean, they do have hands, but the lids are so heavy, right, But as an adult human, I'm like, so, there's no way a raccoon in his homeboy is getting that lid. 00:05:40 Speaker 3: Over whole family getting over there to help. 00:05:43 Speaker 2: Hey, circus stricks, the circus stricks. 00:05:44 Speaker 3: Baby, do you have any wildlife in your yard? Uh? 00:05:49 Speaker 2: Well, there's my mother's dog, okay, and then there's a few squirrels. So there's an avocado tree in my backyard. Oh so jealous, I'm allergic. 00:05:56 Speaker 3: So okay, well you know where to turn right. 00:05:59 Speaker 2: But the problem is is that the squirrels will take while they're growing on the tree, the squirrels will take like a bite or two out of the avocado, so by the time it gets to the ground, it's already been into and you're like, but they never eat the whole thing, So did you just forget because everyone that falls has a bite taken out of it, You disrespectful ass squirrels. Wasteful, wasteful, somebody could because like my mom when she texted me one day, she's like, I got one that the squirrels didn't get, and then she made like a fun little like sofa. So we're now trying to figure out how to get the squirrels to not bite because there's always two bites at the time. 00:06:35 Speaker 3: Take the whole thing home, Take the whole thing home, wrap it up. 00:06:39 Speaker 2: They're gonna puttle boxes on these damn avocados in this tree. They but it's always two individual bites, and they're like, hmmm, no, it's like this new squirrel's coming in or the same girl squad. 00:06:50 Speaker 3: Do I know? And it's like, bro, how long you been in this tree? 00:06:53 Speaker 2: We do this every year. 00:06:55 Speaker 3: And then they're just kind of disgusting looking. Yeah, So then they just fall to the ground. 00:06:59 Speaker 2: And then it's like, but then you have to make sure that you get him up or clean them up or put him somewhere, because and then the dog candy, it's all right? 00:07:06 Speaker 3: Is the dog getting into him? 00:07:09 Speaker 2: I don't think so, I don't know what he's Listen, he's got a rope that he whips around like a drag queen. So because it's like the way he flails his head as always every time I see him. I started doing that Hurricane Katrina songs got his wig flying, this wig flying. I mean, he's really sinking for his life every time as a rope in his mouth. Also, he does it because I guess it's how like they kill things. 00:07:29 Speaker 3: All right, It's like. 00:07:31 Speaker 2: It's it's like they shake. It's like how like alligator is always like attacked to one side. 00:07:35 Speaker 3: Oh, I didn't know that. 00:07:37 Speaker 2: If so, because I'm from the South and originally from Miami. If an alligator is chasing you, you zigzag, oh, which is wild. You zigzag because when they go to attack, they always go to one side. So if you're coming back to it's very interesting. It's very silly. I know, silly things just look. 00:07:54 Speaker 3: Like a total dork being chased by an alligator. 00:07:56 Speaker 2: Hey, man, listen. But if you're ever in that situation, I think it's I don't know if you have the time to think about the strategy. 00:08:03 Speaker 3: I want to look cool being chased by an healthy man. 00:08:08 Speaker 2: I'm trying to get out this Florida subdivision. It's really what I'm trying to do, because I'll like, yeah, they've snatched dogs all kinds of shit, but yeah, not too many interactions with wildlife other than the civil rights dog that my mother has in the house. 00:08:21 Speaker 3: And what's the dog's name. 00:08:23 Speaker 2: The dog's name is Ace King two. 00:08:25 Speaker 3: Oh. I like that. 00:08:26 Speaker 2: My uncle passed and we got his dog, and he is named after King, who was my uncle's first German shepherd. Okay, and then that dog passest you got another dog called King, called him King two. And then when my mom my brother got the dog, they started calling him. My brother started calling him aceh. 00:08:42 Speaker 3: I like that. 00:08:43 Speaker 2: So his full Christian name is Ace King two, so regal, yes. And then my cat's name is Queen Esther. 00:08:49 Speaker 3: Oh my god, you've got royalty all over the house, all over. 00:08:52 Speaker 2: The house, just out here just being just part of the Lendon Gentrick Regency. 00:08:59 Speaker 3: Growing up, did you ever see alligators in person? 00:09:02 Speaker 2: Well about a record a wrestler alligator at the Mikasuki Reservation. 00:09:07 Speaker 3: Oh wow. 00:09:08 Speaker 2: So my mom took us down because it was like near I think it's not like West Palm or something. So it's like in the sawgrass mills probably, and so it's out like in the Everglades. And so it was the Nikasuki in the univers V called it at the time. And so yeah, we got to see a man uh wrestling alligator. You know, you flip them on their back to kind of go to sleep, you rub the belly and all of that. And then I had alligator for the first time. It's like somebody, it's like the texture of chicken with the taste of fish. 00:09:35 Speaker 3: It's very weird, not into that idea. It was hot. And then that frog legs for the first time, and I'm like, I'm good, what does a frog leg taste like? 00:09:43 Speaker 2: A lot? Listen, A lot of things taste like chicken, right, because I don't think we eat a lot of animals, but frog legs, I think. I was just like, I just I'm chewing and I don't know why people eat them the way that they eat them. Also, it looks too much like a leg, right, like a human leg, So she's like a tiny human legg. There's like a chicken leg is a chicken leg? 00:10:05 Speaker 3: Yeah, we were used to a chicken leg. We're all conditioned to know what a chicken leg looks like. 00:10:09 Speaker 2: Right, But a frog leg has a knee in it. You see what I'm saying. 00:10:12 Speaker 3: I don't want to see joints. Ah no, no, no, no, no, no good eating meat is you know, you can't think about it too much, and a frog gives you all sorts of things to think about it too much. 00:10:22 Speaker 2: Anatomy one of my friends, we took her down to Ocean City for a batchlrad party because she was refusing to have one, so we made her do this and we went to Since it's Maryland and crabs are a big yellar Maryland, we went and got crabs and she was just like, I'm gonna get chicken fingers. I was like, I'm gonna punch you, and she was like why, she said, because eating crash. She's like, it's a body, right, right, And I never thought of. 00:10:45 Speaker 3: It that way. 00:10:45 Speaker 2: And I'm just cracking these legs, Like what do you mean I don't know what you're talking about again. 00:10:51 Speaker 3: Knees, but I think this speaks to how delicious crab is that we're able to overlook all of that. We're eating a giant spider's body. 00:10:59 Speaker 2: Listen, it truly is. It is truly if you think about it, a spider of the sea, and they are delicious. 00:11:08 Speaker 3: So frogs just must not taste that good because we're not willing to. They have not reached that level of popularity. 00:11:14 Speaker 2: I mean, because they're everywhere, but there's just a lot involved. Also, they're so little. It's like you can crawfish like, there's just so tiny to put so much work into. 00:11:23 Speaker 3: It, right, not worth my time. 00:11:25 Speaker 2: I'm not here. I mean, crawfish is good, but it's like I would rather just have someone else take it out for me. 00:11:31 Speaker 3: Yes, exactly exactly where did you have the frog leg same place? The same place, So it was like the same deal where. 00:11:38 Speaker 2: It was just like here's alligator, here's frog legs. And my grandma was really on board for both. It was like all right, let's go. 00:11:46 Speaker 3: And then, uh, turtle soup. Have you hearn about turtle soup? 00:11:50 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's the real Bahamian thing because it will be in from Miami. It's like my mom I always talk about turtle soup and I'm like, I'm out that. 00:11:59 Speaker 3: It. Listen, you have to eat which you have around. Like you ever seen a sea cucumber. I have seen a c cucumber. I've never consumed. 00:12:06 Speaker 2: I don't want to. I've seen like you know, like the with the sushi, like the inside of the sea urchins. Like we've caught sea urchins. My aunt caught one when we were down in Marco Island and it's just you know, it's spines everywhere and eventually but they're still like a live animal in it, right, And so I was like, I'm out. I can't. I'm out. I'm all right, I don't have it because after then then my aunt caught it and then she's like, I'm gonna. I'm gonna bleach it because like people like when they see like sand dollars and stuff like that, you have to bleach those things with like clorox. Yes, like there are you son, bleach them? 00:12:41 Speaker 3: Okay? 00:12:42 Speaker 2: Sure, said them outside you because you have to clean it. But also it's a living thing. 00:12:45 Speaker 3: It's like a slimy, wet, crazy sand. 00:12:47 Speaker 2: Dollars aren't they remind you of like the lowest grit sand paper because there was this way. We went to Hilton Head one time and there was a boy catching them for me because it was some quilt white boy flirting, and so he kept diving down and he kept catching these little like sand dollars and they're like I'd never seen one that was a lot and so they're brown and they have like a very it's like almost like a rough vlure kind of fields like this, but they're they're very much alive. And then he caught a hermit crab, and those are fucking horrifying. You can't even eat a hermit crab, so they very much useless. 00:13:25 Speaker 3: It doesn't serve much of a purpose other than taking over different objects to live in. 00:13:29 Speaker 2: That's not a hermit crab's about not a herber crab. It's a horseshoe crabs. 00:13:34 Speaker 3: No, that's a very scary it's. 00:13:36 Speaker 2: People that came up part of the tail, and I was like put him back. Also, I found out that it is the least evolved animal on the planet. 00:13:43 Speaker 3: That makes perfect sense. That thing has been here before Earth. Yes, it came from It. 00:13:48 Speaker 2: Was like in the beginning there was light in horseshoe crabs and they're not there's not enough meat on them to eat them. I don't know what they're here for. They eat something, they do something. 00:13:58 Speaker 3: Are they the things that they use their blood for medical purposes? 00:14:02 Speaker 2: I think at one point they did. 00:14:04 Speaker 3: It's like this rare thing that the blood does on about this, But I'm just like, I didn't know that crabs had blood, right, it doesn't seem like something when you open up the bix. 00:14:15 Speaker 2: So, I don't know what other people call it, but in the body of like a crab, the guts on the inside, what I was growing up, they called it the dead man. 00:14:23 Speaker 3: Okay, And so you weren't supposed to eat that? Oh? Interesting? 00:14:26 Speaker 5: Yeah, So it looks like there is a protein in their blood that's used by pharmaceutical and medical device manufacturers to test their products for the presence of endotoks and spacterial substances that can cause fevers and be fatal to humans. 00:14:39 Speaker 2: Wow the fuck figured? 00:14:40 Speaker 1: Yeah? 00:14:42 Speaker 3: Who decided that was the thing they were going to experiment on, was like. 00:14:45 Speaker 2: All right, we need some blood, but we can't use people. 00:14:48 Speaker 3: We can use people. 00:14:49 Speaker 2: No, no, no, no, we're not gonna use people. What do we not use, and what animal do we not care about? Horsey crabs? Try them. 00:14:56 Speaker 3: It probably started on a podcast they were talking about how worthless horseshoe crabs are. We've got to make use of this thing. 00:15:01 Speaker 2: Well, that's why, like when you go to like one of those herbal shops, like you've ever been like a Chinese hyeah. 00:15:05 Speaker 3: Of course. 00:15:06 Speaker 2: My thing is always who the fuck figured this out? Why are you got? What's what's going on? I'm so sorry. I didn't even realize I was making a face. 00:15:14 Speaker 5: I guess they were like a part of creating the COVID nineteen vaccine. 00:15:18 Speaker 3: Like that, this blood is bright blue. 00:15:21 Speaker 2: This is insane. 00:15:22 Speaker 3: Sorr. Wow, that looks like ghack right, Oh, I haven't a gacket ear? 00:15:28 Speaker 2: How do they get blood out? It's like I haven't seen blood in I mean plenty of seafood. 00:15:33 Speaker 5: Well it says if you ever have had a vaccine, chances are that it was tested for safety using horseshoe crab blood. 00:15:38 Speaker 2: So I guess not even mammals. 00:15:42 Speaker 3: It's that blue blood. It's magic. 00:15:45 Speaker 2: I think somebody just saw something on a beach and was like, whoo, what can I do with this? Is that blue blood? Creative, marry this blue blood, like we just gotta figure what blooo just a bitter in a second. So a scientist just having a walk on the beach. 00:16:03 Speaker 3: Everything about it's so alien. 00:16:05 Speaker 2: Well, I think at one point if someone was there was one vaccine they had like egg whites in it. 00:16:10 Speaker 3: Oh and they use it as a tale. 00:16:12 Speaker 2: Right, so I guess it's suspended. So people are like, well that's why it's they think they were trying to tell us that, like some vaccines weren't vegan, and I was like, what the fuck are we talking about? 00:16:21 Speaker 1: What? 00:16:23 Speaker 2: There's also living, there's like dead. It's like some vaccines are based off like a dead virus or like synthesized, so there was living material in it. So every vaccine would not be vegan, right because they're all based off of a living material or the protein synthesized from a living virus. 00:16:40 Speaker 3: That just sounds like someone's horrible excuse not to get a vaccine. Yes, the ways people will go to avoid getting a vaccine, well, it's. 00:16:48 Speaker 2: Like it's like, well I don't like shots, and it's like it sounds like you don't even mean a lot. Because I got friends who felt like that the small part like the shot you get from the gun, like a person like the gun. So it's like if you have like a if you ever have a parent or like a grandparent of a certain age, or if you have friends who were like born in another country, they'll have like this scar on their arm. And basically there's this gun that has like six meals in it that they give you for like smallpox. 00:17:13 Speaker 1: Whoa. 00:17:14 Speaker 2: So if you know so, because like I saw this meme on like Instagram one time. I was like, oh, I was born in America and then the next picture is that scar from the sixth thing from the sixth gun vaccine gun. Yeah, So like if you know anyone who's born overseas, a lot of them will have because like all home worlds have it because it's just like because they're all born because they were born in Mexico. So it was like a bunch of my friends and so it's like a big scar on their arm because they're like, well, you're not gonna get it today. 00:17:38 Speaker 3: Interesting and so like I have to do that. Here is it? Because if they do when we're babies. 00:17:44 Speaker 2: I think it's not as prevalent because like everyone got their COVID booster. There's another COVID booster. I'm not getting that. 00:17:51 Speaker 3: You're not getting another booster. 00:17:53 Speaker 2: Now, why everybody's fine? We're fine and fine. I took my booster. I'm good girl. 00:18:00 Speaker 3: How many boosters have you had just the one that I was supposed to get, I've had three. 00:18:04 Speaker 2: All of this just seems that's recreational. Friend. 00:18:08 Speaker 3: Look, I don't have much to do with my days. 00:18:11 Speaker 2: I'm like, you know what, I'm okay. 00:18:13 Speaker 3: Did you hear about that guy in Germany that had like four hundred boosters? 00:18:17 Speaker 2: How they let him come in in often? 00:18:19 Speaker 3: I guess he's a smooth talker or something very charming. 00:18:22 Speaker 2: Or he went to every COVID vaccine site in the country of Germany. 00:18:26 Speaker 3: Yeah, that's he went on a road trip. 00:18:27 Speaker 2: Well, because their country is not as big as you think it is. 00:18:30 Speaker 3: I wonder how big Germany is compared to like smaller than Texas, smaller than Texas. 00:18:35 Speaker 2: Interesting, anything smaller than Texas, you can hit it. 00:18:37 Speaker 3: Yeah, you could get to every CVS in Germany. 00:18:40 Speaker 2: Yes, something like you're out Alaska. 00:18:43 Speaker 3: Yeah, I would love to like tour the German countryside getting vaccines, just getting boost there. 00:18:48 Speaker 2: They've shown us that they don't fuck us at all. I'm good. No Americans are black people, no matter how many military bases are out there, I'm good. You just have to realize that this American black person has a lot of places that I'm not going. 00:19:00 Speaker 3: I do not blame you do travel much. 00:19:02 Speaker 2: Draw out for work, but it's like it comes to leaving the country, like I've been to Scotland, and I've been to England, okay, and I've been to Australia and I've been to Canada for work. Mainly because I go to places where white people speak English. Where people speak English told you stand up, and then like on vacation, I've been in like Mexico, in tux and Kico's they speak English, and the Bahamas they speak English. So I'm really trying to go because I speak English and Spanish, so I'm truly trying to go places where I'm just like I can communicate. But I do want to go to South Korea. But you have to understand as a black person, you gotta go. Okay, And I'm a woman too, so it's like there's a little like travel guys, where you were just like places that I felt safe as a black woman, and here's the place I didn't feel safe as a black woman because there's just certain places where like they're like, women do not go by yourself, right right, Black people do not go to this place. Black women do not go to this place. So there's a lot of times there's just like but there's always like there's also like lgbt qya sites are just like you cannot go here. 00:20:06 Speaker 3: You want to Moscow. 00:20:08 Speaker 2: I mean, I'm not trying to go to cold white people. That sounds crazy. 00:20:12 Speaker 3: That is truly the worst. Vacation. 00:20:14 Speaker 2: Vacation and cold do not make sense. So I do not o blow those things. I do not in tiendo. I do not know vacation and cold. I'm a good person. 00:20:22 Speaker 3: Yeah, just throwing money into a fire. 00:20:25 Speaker 2: Now. I would never see the northern lights because you know when it happens in the winter time. I watch a video all day, but staying in ten toes down looking up, nah do all these colts? I got to have one. Mmm, I'm a good person. 00:20:38 Speaker 3: I ain't doing this, that is, I mean, that is a huge problem for me because I would love to see them in person, but there's just no way I'm going to in the worst weather possible in a cold country. Yeah, I just can't do. 00:20:48 Speaker 2: You can see them in Alaska, and it's also has to be. I went to Alaska, but I went in April, okay, so it was like sixty five degrees. 00:20:55 Speaker 3: It's nice. Yeah, that's the only time I would go. Like what was the daylight cycle? 00:21:00 Speaker 2: It was spring, so there was a legitimate day and a legitimate nighttime. 00:21:04 Speaker 3: Okay. 00:21:05 Speaker 2: But what was nuts is that I've never heard quiet like the quiet I heard in Alaska because there was there was not noil cricket, there was no there was no bug sounds. There were no bird sounds because it was like still nighttime, so the birds was sleep. I guess the bugs is also sleep. And I was just standing outside, like I can hear the wind like it was like not even going future. You just hear air, and it just sounded like there was no like you've ever been like enough studio with a really high ceiling, yes, yes, or like just somewhere with the lace tickets, just feel like all the air is going out. That's what it felt like. I said, there's no roof on this even though like even when you're outside, you're like, I know, there's. 00:21:48 Speaker 3: No limit to where I'm at. 00:21:50 Speaker 2: And then there was when I was in Alaska, I was like, there's no atmosphere like I am it. I felt like I was in space. I truly was like, yo, there's nothing giving me down here. Gravity might turn off for thirty five seconds like I was. It was sir real. Also, the best Domino's pizza ever had. 00:22:07 Speaker 3: My lige, oh what are they doing at Dominoes in Alaska? 00:22:10 Speaker 2: Putting every topic on that bitch twice I got a supreme. I saw two layers of pizza. I'm like, bro, I gotta eat as much as this is. Like it's like pay yourself, baby girl, because like it's like they made the pizza and they're just like, yo, man, we still got a bunch more topins and hear anybody ordered a lot today, take it all, throw another layer on top of it. I was like, God, bless these teenagers or full grown adults. 00:22:32 Speaker 3: You're the first person we've seen in months. 00:22:34 Speaker 2: Yes, thank you for your order a dog. Here's two layers of pizza. And I was like, can I get Uber Eats in Alaska? Yes? You can? And that's how I got it. Wow is the pizza place? I think I ordered it on my phone. Yep, Wow twenty eighteen. I was like April twenty eighteen. I was in Juno, Alaska to one shows. And what was so interesting is what was very funny is that the Walmart closed there because the people in the town were stealing so much that Walmart shut their own store down. 00:23:08 Speaker 3: That is a success story I've ever heard one. 00:23:10 Speaker 2: Listen, because there was nobody was stopping. The cashiers weren't helping, nobody was helping. 00:23:17 Speaker 3: See my dream shopping trip. 00:23:19 Speaker 2: I mean, it's like everyone was like, yo, we are getting this work. When Walmart came and went, you know what we can't do with y'all No Moore, they locked up as much deodorant as they could and just like, nah, dog, they're stealing bikes. Bro, I gotta close these doors. 00:23:33 Speaker 3: I love to hear it. 00:23:34 Speaker 2: We got to close these doors. Jack Walmart Corporate came down and was like, believe me, it's not us, it's you. 00:23:42 Speaker 3: Well, look there's something else we'd need to talk about. I was really excited to have you here on the podcast today. I thought, it'll say so wonderful, she's so funny, We're gonna have a great time. 00:23:52 Speaker 2: M hm. 00:23:53 Speaker 3: So it was a little surprised. The podcast is called I said no Gifts, and I was a little surprised when I met you here in the backyard and you were holding what, from where I'm sitting is clearly a gift, Yes, says it's this beautiful pink bag that says celebrate on it. Yeah, do you have anything to say for yourself or you're just going to own it. 00:24:15 Speaker 2: As a Southerner, I am taught to not come anywhere with my hands empty, So you cannot come to someone's home for the first time with nothing. And so I know you said no gifts, but I have to follow my fine Southern tradition. And just because I was raised right, you don't kind about it. You don't come to anybody's else with your hands empty. So yes, I apologize for the inconvenience, but I did bring you a gift. 00:24:42 Speaker 3: Okay, Well, I appreciate the apology. And you know, Southerners are always hiding behind these manners, and I'm gonna let it. This is the last time on this podcast. 00:24:51 Speaker 2: You're I mean, I can't be the first one to say it. 00:24:53 Speaker 3: You're not. We've got other Southerners and look, this is the final time we're using that excuse. South find another excuse. 00:25:01 Speaker 2: I mean, listen than the fact that our mama was raised is right? Or you know I couldn't come nowhere in my hands. Listen, it's not us. It's the genteel lifestyle. Because when I got here, the first thing you did was what offer me a beverage? 00:25:14 Speaker 3: I frequently forget that. I feel awful the entire podcast. That's all I'm thinking about. And uh, you know that's my failure on my part. 00:25:23 Speaker 2: When someone comes to your home, you offer them a drink. 00:25:25 Speaker 3: You've got to offer a drink. 00:25:27 Speaker 2: Yes, same concept. When someone comes to your home, you offer them a drink. When you come to someone's home, you offer them a gift. 00:25:35 Speaker 3: Well, should I open it here on the podcast? Okay, let's dip in here. M okay, I'm pulling out. Oh it's a very cute, very Oh the bag is so big. It's a very cute little bracelet that says it says no gifts on it. Yeah, did you make this? 00:26:02 Speaker 2: Yes? 00:26:03 Speaker 3: This is adorable? 00:26:04 Speaker 2: Thank you. I mean my friend of bracelet the other day that said, chicken. 00:26:09 Speaker 3: How long have you been making bracelets? I've been making Joey since I was a kid and I had I used to have. 00:26:14 Speaker 2: A jewelry business. Really yeah, I used to do custom gifts and jewelry. I still make cousin things for people, but I ligally had like a jewelry business, and I would do like scavenger hunts and crafts, the kids birthday parties literally just one whole family and all three of their children and their cousin. But yeah, I've been making stuff for people for years. 00:26:33 Speaker 3: And are you self taught? I mean this is uh probably like your easiest piece to. 00:26:39 Speaker 2: Make, literally five minutes to make. But it's what I do is like what I used to do for Valentine's Day because my momoul always give us, like me and my brother Valentine's Day presence, which is like a tradition. Like she started doing it when I was like maybe like a teenager, and so every year we get each other's over Valentine's Day. And so as I came an adult, I started doing that for like my friends and I worked in offices. I would get like the little kids Valentine's and give them out to people. 00:27:07 Speaker 3: Oh that's sweet. And when I. 00:27:08 Speaker 2: Started doing stand up, I'm like bringing the shows and there was like one comic one time. I was just like, he's aid Dulce for the last five years, You're the only person I've gotten a Valentine for all And so I remember last year I was like, well, what if I just made a bunch of bracelets? And so I was still living in New York and I remember one of the comics he was like, Valentine's Day is so stupid, it's so commercial by and he went on and on and on. I was like okay. And then the next day Valentine's Day on a cute lit outfit and I was like, I made you a bracelet. He was like really, oh my god. 00:27:40 Speaker 3: I think it was to say and. 00:27:42 Speaker 2: Is that like orgasm or something stupid on it? And then like an hour later, because we was another comic where it shows and his girlfriend comes up and goes, can you give me another bracelet? I was joking around with him and like over extended it, and he's really said, can you get I was like, yes, I can give you another bracelet the one the day before that made a fifteen minute just standing on his soap box Grand Solo Liquid And now he's like, but you stredged my bracelet and that guy's said another comic. I made him my bracelet and said daddy because that was my favorite thing to call him, because I would call him daddy and he would get go hay sugar. And I was like, yes, I can make this. Oh love him, love this man. And so I made him this bracelet and said daddy on it, like it cook three times. And I saw him like a month or two later, and he was just like, my bracelet broke, and I saved all the beads and why the grown man like really black men in their fifties, very New York grown black men, and it's like, my bracelet broke, and I saved all the beads. I was like, I'll make you another brace and like the next time I saw him, he was like, thank you so much. And it was like and I was like, y'all. 00:28:53 Speaker 3: Are ridiculous, all ridiculous. 00:28:57 Speaker 2: You act like you don't care and that kind of I'm major bracelet and you're like shut up, like but I made it for He was like, oh, thank you so much. I like it so much. Oh my god, They're just these men are ridiculous. 00:29:09 Speaker 3: Completely melting at the sight of a few beads, just. 00:29:11 Speaker 2: A few beads. But it's like it's not because like so I made all these Like last year I made like eighty Valentine's Da bracelet. 00:29:17 Speaker 3: God, how long did that take you? It doesn't. 00:29:19 Speaker 2: I mean it took like a couple of days. Like my niece helped me when my friends came over. And then this year what I did, I was like on the road and so I brought my beads with me and I was just sitting there watching h Miss Fisher, which is like, uh, a cozy murder mystery that set in the nineteen twenties on Australia. Okay, this is where I have like a QUARANTIV and all these other streaming services, and so I would just have a show and I get home and I would get back to the hotel on the show, and I'm up to like three in the morning just making bracelet after bracelet after bracelet after bracelet. 00:29:46 Speaker 3: Sounds very soothing, It is very fun. 00:29:48 Speaker 2: And then the thing is it's like people that go, oh my god, because like I was at one of the comedy clubs like last year, and I'm handing out out the comics and then some of the staff it's like, can I get a bracelet. When the staff, I was like, hey, the guys in the kitchen, they want a bracelet. And so this of control, that's why I made eighty brace I'm was trying to make one hundred eighty something. So this year I made like close to one hundred bracelets. And so it's so interesting because it's like I just thought it was this really like silly thing to do, right, but just because what I would do. 00:30:15 Speaker 3: Is also I wouldn't. 00:30:17 Speaker 2: I had like a big bag, and the year before I was like very conscious and like, well I gave what but I was like no, I'm gonna change it up. And I was like, you pick your bracelet, I said, but you can't see the bracelet. I said. You have to put your hand in the bag. The bracelet picks you. And so one of my friends she gets this bracelet because I had like these beads that look like the conversation hearts, and so that was the main theme for all the beads this year, all the bracelets this year, and so she picked one, and uh, she's like, I love another one, Like I can't try another one. One of my friends he got one that was like yellow and red but like the McDonald's kind of yellow. Oh. He was like, I don't really like this. I'm gonna pick another one. I said, I will let you pick another one. And then the next bracelet he picked out was the exact same color scheme. 00:30:55 Speaker 3: Well, that's who he is. 00:30:56 Speaker 2: And I was like, this is this is I said, you picked it twice. 00:30:59 Speaker 3: This is for you running from yourself. Stop running from the Ronald McDonald. Collins are McDonald's, You. 00:31:03 Speaker 2: Are McDon you are a Mickey D's. 00:31:05 Speaker 3: And so nothing wrong with that. 00:31:07 Speaker 2: But it was great because like Judy Gold and her wife there was like a greener red when and they said hug me, and so Judy's wife picks first, okay, and then like Judy pick and they picked the exact same bracelet, but I shake the bag. 00:31:20 Speaker 3: Wow. 00:31:20 Speaker 2: And so they both picked the green and the red and they both had to hug me bracelets and they're like it's meant to be. It's like, yeah, it's so cute, so together forever, and so it's like, yeah, the bracelet piccks you. But it's so funny because people go like, can I pick a braceletwo? Nd I pick a bracelet and just like yeah, sure. 00:31:36 Speaker 3: That sounds very fun I don't blame anybody. 00:31:38 Speaker 2: It's so great. And so I was at a super Bowl party at the cellar and by the end, I was like, everyone has this bracelet and people like, oh my god, don't say may these bracelets. These are so great. Don't see these bracelets. And I try to make them out as durable as I can because one of my friends like, I still the bracelet you gave me last year, and it was always And it's so funny because I was like the guys who were so excited I picked their like I get to you're like, yeah, oh my god, and so they picked like thank you. It could be purple, it could be pink. They do not care. 00:32:06 Speaker 3: Men are desperate to get to have jewelry. They didn't need an excuse to have jewelry, and. 00:32:10 Speaker 2: Just it's just like you made these, you made these for us. And then it's like yeah, I mean, I'm like, oh my god. Some of them are like some of them are like, okay, I can't have a purple and a pink bracelet. Like I hear you, I'll let you pick another. Wow, but the bracelet pick to you. I don't know what to tell you. And then they go a second round and says like you got another pink when he's like, all right it pick me. But sometimes it's like one of my homeboys. I'm like, yeah, I know you won't wear it. Here you go there, that's yours, ahead of you, way ahead of you, sir. 00:32:36 Speaker 3: What we're going to do is put one in there that says you will die within a week. Never that little risk. It's very fun never. 00:32:46 Speaker 2: You guys have. Some of them say. 00:32:48 Speaker 3: Butts, Oh, butts okay, so I'll get on butts, boobs, orgasm. 00:32:53 Speaker 2: I didn't do as many word be as this time, as one of them was just about to like the because it was like text me, kiss me, hug me, stuff like that, right right. But yeah, the word ones are sometimes funny because my friends, uh, Jenny's Agreena, we were making them and I think when she's made one, it said cheese daddy, and she was like, what's that means? 00:33:08 Speaker 3: She's like, I don't know, but it sounds silly. 00:33:11 Speaker 2: So some of them are Some of them say daddy, some of them say butt, boobs, orgasm. And my friend was like, ooh, we like, I guess one of the two of them say dick. But when my friends grabbed. He's like, I can't wear this. I'm like, calm, damn back, No one's gonna where you let you wear a dick bracelet. 00:33:28 Speaker 3: You're fine, probably should justice. 00:33:30 Speaker 2: Just grow up. But some of them, I won't wear certain collars. I won't do this. And then sometimes with the girls, it's like all this goes with my outfit. I'm like, I know, that's why I gave you this one. So it's either outfits, yeah, so thank you. It's either outfits or homophobia, so you get it. Pick and choose, Pick and choose. But the girls ones to say boobs. I don't care because boobs. 00:33:51 Speaker 3: They're mature adults. Yes. I Google at one point was like they had some experiment with three D printing where you could get a bracelet and I had one made that said I will sue and I miss it, so mop. 00:34:01 Speaker 2: That's so fine. 00:34:02 Speaker 3: I want to have one of those. Just like, if you're found unconscious, you've got you know they know you're going to sue. I mean, is this the thing you worry about being found constantly? And I want the first thing the person to find me to think they're going to be sued, that they're now in legal trouble. 00:34:20 Speaker 2: Okay, that might hinder rescue missions, but I mean hopefully it's got the range. 00:34:27 Speaker 3: But yeah, I mean, hey, you like it. 00:34:30 Speaker 2: I love it, but it may it might not be the best way to get rescued. 00:34:37 Speaker 3: I'm just putting a bug in your ear. If I cross paths with you next Valentines, I hope in that bag there will be and I will sue that I'll be able to pick absolutely and I will sue. 00:34:46 Speaker 1: Is what am I say? 00:34:47 Speaker 2: Yes, and I will sue. I'm here for it. I support it. I support you. 00:34:52 Speaker 3: Are you a big jewelry where yourself You've got ear rings on? 00:34:56 Speaker 2: Yes? Listen, I'm in a place now where some of my jewelry is real, and man, what it's time to be alive? 00:35:02 Speaker 1: Uh? 00:35:02 Speaker 2: My bracelet is real. I got it from this company and me and Yaminika we were at south By Southwest and I've been seeing this. It's called permanent jewelry. 00:35:11 Speaker 3: I just saw somebody get one of these on. 00:35:13 Speaker 2: So that's what this bracelet is. It's like welded on and how long does it last until it comes off? 00:35:18 Speaker 3: Really? 00:35:19 Speaker 2: The girl I got it from, she says it's the exact same bracelet, the philigree bracelet, she says she's had on for three years. 00:35:25 Speaker 3: Wow, and what like why is that appealing? I'm like the. 00:35:29 Speaker 2: Idea of it because I got because, like I said, I have jewelry, like I have like all this chain at home. I was like, let me see if I can like really do this. So my last year, I made myself one intil like the gold rubbed off, and I was like, I kind of like this, and so but it's weird because it's so thin and you don't think that you'd like pay attention to it. Sometimes I really feel it and sometimes I don't. But I've only had it for like a week and some change. But one of my homeboys called it. He says, like a jewelry tattoo, right exactly. 00:35:55 Speaker 3: So it's like it's. 00:35:56 Speaker 2: Funny because like sometimes it's like, oh, this is an interesting almost kind of permanent kind of thing. But it's cute. 00:36:01 Speaker 3: It's real gold. It's real gold, it's real gold. 00:36:04 Speaker 2: It's really welded on. But I can easily if I want to, just like cut this off. And I was just like a scissor, Oh, we have to just like wire cutters, jump. 00:36:15 Speaker 3: Ring steel bolt cutters I know. 00:36:17 Speaker 2: It's so tiny because it's like it's it's like the head of a ballpoint pin is, like how big this jumping is. It's so thin, it's very it's very small, but it's like all filigree gold and it's I really like it. It's the way to kind of have some jewelry on, kind of without thinking about it, thinking about it because because some of my sisters they have and sisters and my cousin they have their eyeliner is tattooed on. Okay, sure that is a dedication to a look that I do not have permanent eyeliner. I'm not that person first of all, tattooed eater in my. 00:36:50 Speaker 3: Eyeball, No, simply, And. 00:36:53 Speaker 2: I think like some of my teas they have a I think they have the eyeliner, and I think one of them has our eyebrows tattooed, which I always thought was crazy. 00:37:02 Speaker 3: And then I met a girl. 00:37:03 Speaker 2: She had her lips tatt You use your lips tattooed. 00:37:06 Speaker 3: Right, And it sounds like agony. 00:37:08 Speaker 2: Yeah, because first of all, there's like so many nerve endings in your lips. That's why babies put things in their mouths. But she showed me before and after, and I was like, it looks good, sure, but it's like it's still your mouth, right, which I thought was crazy because like she already had like nice lips. And I was like, it does just make her because it's not like color color. It's literally just put like a little bit moarm. 00:37:30 Speaker 3: Oh, it's just like the saturation has been turned down. 00:37:32 Speaker 2: Yes, it's like it just turns. It's so it's not like she always has like red. 00:37:36 Speaker 3: Lips, picturing a full red lip and she's like digging a trench in her backyard. 00:37:39 Speaker 2: No no, no, no, no no, because she's Chinese American and she is like olive this to her skin, and so her lips, like she's in her top lip was the same color as her face. 00:37:53 Speaker 3: Okay, so she's kind of losing the lips. 00:37:55 Speaker 2: You were losing the lips. She had a full she has full lips, right, but you were losing it because because there was no separation of church and state between her face and where the lips started. 00:38:04 Speaker 3: Right, she would have had to get a mustache or something. 00:38:06 Speaker 2: Truly, and who's trying to do that again? And so that's where she got this color put in. I was like, oh, show me before and after, and I was. 00:38:13 Speaker 3: Like, oh, okay, it's just. 00:38:17 Speaker 2: Popping in color and just adding like almost like a contouring. It's like creating the dimension that wasn't previously there. Because she can wear any kind of lip, like you. 00:38:26 Speaker 3: Can throw something else on there a time of day. 00:38:29 Speaker 2: But when she's just like out in just nude face, now she has got lip lips. She's got lips. 00:38:34 Speaker 3: You've got a tattoo on your wrist? How long has that been? 00:38:37 Speaker 2: There actually have four tattoos. So I have a star on my right wrist, a star on my left wrist. I have a star on my foot that's broken and hashing theme here. One side's comedy, one side's tragedy, and then there's a star on I guess not the what's part of your hands? 00:38:55 Speaker 3: This is a great question. The web. 00:38:57 Speaker 2: So that space in between your fore finger and your thumb, I got a star. I've got an exclamation point that ends in a star. 00:39:03 Speaker 3: Right, it looks like a little shooting star. Yeah. 00:39:05 Speaker 2: I like that. It's so so gives you a shooting star. But let's see, my first star was in a tattoo parlor, and this one it's it's a blessing. I still have it because it broke apart. All that broke apart, so like with it, when it scabs up like broke apart, came back, there was like there's a line missing. They tried to touch it up, it didn't work. And then my star on my right wrist is a star like a negative space, the space inside the shading creates and it's I got this in a living room, in a living room, a dining room and an apartment complex with two of my sisters who were gettinghih biscus tatoos on their back. 00:39:43 Speaker 3: Was a planned or did you just show up in the dining room and it. 00:39:47 Speaker 2: Was actually funny, is like this where we were was actually the same apartment complex as a guy used to day, so that was wild. And then the one on my foot, I'd get done twice because the skin on your feet is the thinnest skin on your body. Oh, I didn't know a lot of places don't guarantee like a foot tattoo because what happened was is it scapped up and then came off right right, So then they had to go back in deeper and redo the tattoo on my foot. And then the one on my hand. I got done on a roof during COVID because my friend who's an artist, started tattooing. So we just have like tattoo parties during. 00:40:19 Speaker 3: COVID because tattooing during luck. 00:40:21 Speaker 1: Yeah. 00:40:22 Speaker 2: She's an artist named Pearlminton and she's an amazing artist. She does like a lot of eyes and lips and body work, and she picked up tattooing. And so one of my friends, another comedian, very funny, Derek Gaines, is an amazing podcast called No Need for Apologies. He I was like, listen, you gotta be here for your friends. Uh So he's getting tatted because you have these tattoos on his hands, and so he's getting this word across on his hands. He's like, what do you think. I was like, yeah, I like it, and that leaned over. I was like, get a star for me. 00:40:52 Speaker 3: Oh, that's a great idea. 00:40:53 Speaker 2: And I didn't think he was gonna do it. 00:40:56 Speaker 3: And he was like okay, And I was like, uh oh, what if you too end up in a fight. There's like a year's long feud. He's trapped. 00:41:04 Speaker 2: Listen, we we we stay feud and our friends call us. A divorced couple who gets along. Oh, so hey, listen, I don't know what the problems. And so he gets the star on his on his left wrist, and then I was like, oh shit, well if he got tattoos and I got a tattooed, He's like yes, and I was like all right, and I was like, well, what do I want to get? And so the name of my production company is Australia, which is Spanish for star, but it's how my brother spells it, and so spelled phonetically. And then there's an exclamation point on the end of it with the star on the bottom. And so I was like, well, let me get that right. And I was like, because if anything happens, I still have something that represents me and I know my star. And so I get my exclamation point and I get my star on the bottom. And then we're taking a picture and I'm looking at Derek's hands and I noticed that there is a exclamation point that he has tattooed on his hand above his left pinky. So then so my tattoo is a combination of his tattoos, and we get weird. And so we had this running joke where like if he was trying to if he'll just tap his star and be like, don't say. 00:42:09 Speaker 3: So, He's just like tap. 00:42:10 Speaker 2: So then I was like, I was like, oh, be out, like where's Derek. I'll start tapping my hand and be like Derek, Derek, and literally one of us will pop up and be like I was just talking in my hand about you. But yeah, so he's an exclamation point and a star, and then I have an exclamation point with a star. 00:42:25 Speaker 3: Which one of these was the most painful, the foot, because I hate it done twice okay, and it does feel like a sensitive area it is. 00:42:32 Speaker 2: And what's so crazy about it is like when I got it done, because like I designed it and like told the tattoo artists about it, and he was like, let's do it like this because I didn't goan to get like just a regular comedy and tragedy tattoo because you know, I'm a theater kid, and so he was like, well, we can do one side, said one side. 00:42:44 Speaker 3: He's like, we get one side happy, one side evil, and I was like, not. 00:42:46 Speaker 2: Evil, say we're not doing evil, We're doing no, no, thank you, And so he came in because there's like little stars around it, and then he did like some white highlighting and some shading, and then and within a month the scab like cleared up. And then when the scab came off, it was literally my whole tattoo. It just it was just because it wasn't deep enough in the skin. 00:43:12 Speaker 3: Wow, and so it just I mean, that's just so gross. 00:43:15 Speaker 2: Yeah, And it was like, I mean, what was the wildest part about being in there? Was just like when I went back, I had like a I had a dress on, and I was like, all right, I don't know why I'm sitting on it because I was like the way I was sitting, like you could see the only thing you could see was up my dress. There was nothing else I could do about it. And then I realized. I looked over and I was like, I could be sitting in a completely different chair. This man doesn't have to be looking at my dress at the same time a tattoo. And I looked over and I was. 00:43:42 Speaker 3: Like, yeah, fuck it, we're here. 00:43:44 Speaker 2: Because it was because he wasn't supposed to do it for free, but he didn't like you you can see my drawers for free tattoo or whatever. Give a fuck. 00:43:53 Speaker 3: There's a lot I would give away for a free tattoo. 00:43:56 Speaker 2: This guy got one because he let them taste him. 00:43:57 Speaker 3: So and what happened to the other if you got framed the skin? 00:44:02 Speaker 2: No, I just threw it out, okay because it just wasn't I thought about it, but it was like all the pigment was gone. So then it just be like, what's so, is this like from an ancient scroll or something. No, it's a foot tattoo, just just it. I do think about getting other ones, but then sometimes I'm like, I don't know what I. 00:44:20 Speaker 3: Want to Well, certainly a star. You can't break the theme now. 00:44:24 Speaker 2: No, I can't break this thing because it was like I thought about getting something on my other foot, and I'm like, I'm not going through that again. 00:44:29 Speaker 4: No, no, no, no. 00:44:30 Speaker 2: And so I'm kind of like, so I've got two tattoos on my right side and two tattoos on my left side. Symmetry the nice symmetry there, like a foot and a wrist and a hand, and so it's I don't know, because I would never get a tattoo on my back. How come because I can't see it. 00:44:48 Speaker 3: I mean, that's something that's never really occurred to me. But that's a great reason not to I why don't get to enjoy it? 00:44:54 Speaker 2: Why would get a tattoo? I can't see, right, I've never understood. 00:44:58 Speaker 3: Purely for other people, and only other people who are seeing you without a shirt on. 00:45:02 Speaker 2: Right. Also, I hate seeing and this is going to sound it's just me. This is an aesthetic thing. I hate seeing a tattoo, a back tattoo in a formal dress. 00:45:13 Speaker 3: Oh sure, yeah, that's a risky thing because it probably can look good sometimes, but it also can probably throw off a formal look immediately. 00:45:20 Speaker 2: A girl I was friends with when she got married, every one of her bridesmaids had a tattoo on her right shoulder, and it drove me nuts. They were one of the moss, like the regular dumb shit where it's just like, oh, here's my astrological symbol. It's like, okay, great, this bitch is a taurus. Other just a playing card, just other shit, boring, just clip art, except right, And so I'm just like, but every single one of her bridesmaid had a shoulder. 00:45:52 Speaker 3: Tattoo, and I'm just like, you're ruining the wedding for you. Listen. 00:45:56 Speaker 2: It's honestly, as someone who was who thought they were going to be a bride me in this and then ended up not being one because we had because there was a fallout, and then we got back to being it was I was invited. Let's just say I was friends with the bride. We fell out. I was invited to the wedding by the room wow, because he was like, I want you all to be good again. And then I got there and I'm just like, okay, but I don't think she does. So the reception went to start and I was like, I gotta go. I was like, I gotta show tonight. My show was hours later. Of course I was only an hour. 00:46:27 Speaker 3: It was two weeks later. 00:46:28 Speaker 2: It was four pm. My show was not I didn't have it. I was I didn't have to be on stage shill nine to thirty. I was an hour from my house. I'm like, I gotta show tonight. 00:46:38 Speaker 3: I got a sounds so uncomfortable. 00:46:40 Speaker 2: It was uncomfortable. 00:46:42 Speaker 3: Did you interact with the bride at all? 00:46:45 Speaker 2: A few times I attempted too, but it was just like, oh, he wanted this. 00:46:49 Speaker 3: More than right, and I just a good idea. 00:46:53 Speaker 2: Hey, you try to be nice, you try to be a good person, but you can't abide everything. Sometimes you gotta you can only go where you can celebrated. 00:47:00 Speaker 3: You got your limits, you gota listen. 00:47:01 Speaker 2: And if I'm spending my gas in this economy, beach, I was even the crossroads before I come back to another event. 00:47:10 Speaker 3: Well, should we see what else is in this bag? 00:47:13 Speaker 4: Yeah? 00:47:13 Speaker 3: Okay, reaching in and it's it's your book. 00:47:20 Speaker 2: Hello friends, Hello friends, Stories of Dating, Destiny and Day Job. 00:47:25 Speaker 3: When was this published? 00:47:26 Speaker 2: February sixth? 00:47:28 Speaker 3: You look incredible here, Thank you. What a great dress that is? Thank you. 00:47:31 Speaker 2: My stylist Kat Eves so me and her came up with this concept together. We were inspired by old school glamour shots. Oh sure, there's the inspiration for the book. And they're like, well, you can't do it all fuzzy and out of fun and I was just like, but that would be great. But so that was the inspiration for the cover. 00:47:47 Speaker 3: Of Yeah, it looks amazing. How long does this book take to write? I'm always so curious because it seems overwhelming to me. 00:47:52 Speaker 2: It is overwhelming, and I had a year to do it. 00:47:55 Speaker 3: Wow, and so it feels like fast turnaround. It was. 00:48:01 Speaker 2: It was, and people were like, well, why'd you write a book? I was like, cause my manager tricked me, which is people think, oh, that's that's what happened. 00:48:10 Speaker 3: My manager would trick me. 00:48:11 Speaker 2: Listen. He called me up. He was like, what if you write a book? And I was like, I don't know, it sounds hard, uh, probably not. I'm very busy. And then he was like, well, let's just take a meeting. I'm like, I'll take a meeting for anything. We take this meeting and I'm like okay, and then we take four more meetings. I'm like, all right, it takes four more met it was like. And then I look up and he's like, okay, you gotta write a book. And I was like, what hold on. We took five meets and I got to write a book. He's like, yeah, okay, I call you back. 00:48:42 Speaker 3: I'm like no, no, no, no, no no. 00:48:44 Speaker 2: And so yeah, he called some people and I called some people on a Saturday, and the meeting and now, and it's so funny because my book agent I was doing an interview. 00:48:53 Speaker 3: She was like, I appreciate it if you didn't tell people that I tricked you. 00:48:56 Speaker 2: And I was like, but you do, I said, but my manager doesn't mind it, so I think she thinks that it's an indicton on her. My manager thinks it's hilarious, but yeah, both of them hosts tricked me. 00:49:06 Speaker 3: Then I had discussions in these meetings. 00:49:08 Speaker 2: I don't even remember. I remember just sitting there being like, oh, she wants to write a book. Yeah. Yeah, I did it for a book, Coming Boy with a Proposal Proposal book. So they're like, somebody's gonna give you money. I'm like, God, bless and so I had to write a book. And once I found out I did have to write it, I called uh Michelle Buteau her book Survival of the Thickest that's where that was the what the show is based on. And I called her and I was like, missit, how did I do this? 00:49:37 Speaker 3: Oh my god? 00:49:38 Speaker 2: I was freaking out. And she was like she told me to start with jokes that are too long toil on stage, like stories that are long, because I wanted to be a comedic book. It's not like And then when I was spoke that, I was flying for it, right, And so she was like, start with stories that are too long tail on stage, which I already had a bunch of those. And then I was like, Okay, that's a great place to start. And then I was like, well, let me, people are gonna want to know about Daily Show, people are about my childhood, and so I. 00:50:03 Speaker 3: Threw those in there and then boom, I guess close three hundred pages later, three hundred Let me see what it goes to the middle fifty or blank. 00:50:12 Speaker 2: Let me tell you something. 00:50:13 Speaker 3: It's a pop up book. 00:50:16 Speaker 2: It goes to a page two forty one. 00:50:20 Speaker 3: That's a solid book. Calling on. 00:50:22 Speaker 2: Wait a minute, there's two forty one, forty two. 00:50:26 Speaker 3: And then okay, well you're counting the acknowledgement you said. 00:50:30 Speaker 2: I mean I had to write you gotta write acknowledgements. So it goes to forty is uh the full and then there's an acknowledgment and then there's like a about you page. But yeah, and so I had to write the inside of the book jacket and all this other stuff, and then you had to write this port I have to write. So that's like, that's just my bio. But this part in here, like the inside of the jack. I was like, okay, let's make sure that you. 00:50:54 Speaker 3: Had to write that part of it. 00:50:55 Speaker 2: Well, I'm out the publisher writes it, and then you have to fix. 00:50:59 Speaker 3: It, all right, make sure it doesn't sound stupid. 00:51:01 Speaker 2: Yeah, make sure it's in your voice. And then you also when you're writing the book, you have to make sure that you have a tone for it. Right. The tone for the book I always wanted to sound like it was me sitting right next to you. Oh that's nice, being like, okay, girl, let me tell what happened. And it's funny because when it first came out, I made the mistake of like looking at some reviews, and so this lady was like three stars. You know, it was fine, but it felt like she was like talking to me. 00:51:28 Speaker 3: That sounds incredible. 00:51:30 Speaker 2: What and then this other lady was five stars because it felt like she was talking to me, so I don't understand. She was like, oh my god. So like we were sitting at like just sitting down having brunch, talking to each other. And so that was the tone that I wanted. So it's interesting and it's like I did what I put out to do, what I plan to do, but some people liked somebody didn't. I did this interview with Lewis Writesis, and I didn't realize, if you know, when you write a whole book, you forget all of the things. And so there is this quote that she made me read there, I think you will enjoy it, let's hear it. So I was in an argument with one of my teachers because fast forward to my junior ap economics teacher, who we called Coach because he was a school golf coach. I didn't know we had a golf team. Apparently they won championships, and shit, Coach kept trying to teach us about supplying demand, which was some Santa Claus made up bullshit if I ever heard it. I tried to listen, but one day I couldn't take it anymore. If the demand is higher, the price goes up. Okay, but why how is all of capitalism based on this? I will twork with the unicorn at e leprechauns Kintina before this shit ever makes sense, because that's how wild it sounded to me, of course, And I was just like, so you tell me, because he was like, if you got one hundred bottles of water and you're selling it for a dollar apiece and one hundred people want it, it's a dollar. If I got one hundred botles of water and two hundred people want it, not gonna sell it at two dollars fifty was like what He's like, if you got a one hundred bottles of water and only fifty people want it, now it's fifty cents. And I was like, no, no, if fifty people want this water, can't it be a dollar? If two hundred people want this water, why can't it be a dollar? 00:53:04 Speaker 3: And he kept saying that. 00:53:05 Speaker 2: I was like, no, you can't use the rule to explain the rule. You sound crazy. 00:53:10 Speaker 3: Please never open a business. Listen, I have. 00:53:13 Speaker 2: Plenty of businesses. I have a whole liploss company. 00:53:15 Speaker 3: What I'm saying is jews at a jelry business. 00:53:18 Speaker 2: I have a liploss company that started with comedian Lace Larabie. So I know how business works. But no, wonder the economy is fucked up? 00:53:26 Speaker 3: Nightmare. 00:53:26 Speaker 2: If you're telling me that just because is the answer, how write that on the test. 00:53:32 Speaker 3: That's basically why the entire entertainment industry is closing down because everything was just kind of imagined, and now the imagination is over and there's no money left. 00:53:41 Speaker 2: Money is imagined. No, yes, think about it. If yours you can walk into a store, I can hand somebody paper and they hand me meat. 00:53:50 Speaker 3: How does that make sense? We've all agreed we've all been forced to agree. 00:53:55 Speaker 2: We all agreed that if I bring you this paper, I'm gonna get cheese. 00:53:58 Speaker 3: Come on, if you're to Walmart in Alaska. 00:54:01 Speaker 2: Listen, they ain't got no money in a Walmart. They was oh jugging out that place. Those idea, God bless them. 00:54:08 Speaker 3: So the idea of money is wild. I just our money, like every dollar. 00:54:13 Speaker 2: The reason it says Federal Reserve note is because every dollar is an iou. Back in the day, you used to be able to walk into a bank with a dollar and they would give you a bar of gold. 00:54:22 Speaker 3: Right, it actually meant something. 00:54:23 Speaker 2: So we used to be on the gold standard, and then there's too many and then you need a population goes up. You're like, fuck, we ain't got enough gold. So then we go to the silver standard. So now every dollar's worth a bottle of silver. Fine, then you get more people, You're like, fuck, we ain't got enough silver for this. So now it's now every bar of gold supports nine hundred to one thousand dollars. 00:54:44 Speaker 3: But again, I can. 00:54:45 Speaker 2: Walk into a store, give you paper, and you give me a car. 00:54:50 Speaker 3: None of us can think about it too much or it'll completely collapse. 00:54:53 Speaker 2: Telling you y'all trying to go back in time to do all kind of wild shit. No, we going back in time and we're gonna fight the dude that invented money. Also the motherfucker that admitted jobs. He's got to die too. 00:55:05 Speaker 3: I completely agree, completely. 00:55:06 Speaker 2: Agree rent, because I think you got money, you have to have rent. Yeah, people have to pay to live inside. That's the same. I have never to walk into a store and be like, gimme. 00:55:15 Speaker 3: You should be able to just say I want that and get it. Yeah, that's all I want. 00:55:19 Speaker 2: Because it's like, well, how to get rid of certain things, it's you have to get to get rid of poverty. You have to get rid of money. I mean, that's the only way to fix that. Nobody wants to say. It's like, well we need these programs. You don't need programs. You need to get rid of money. 00:55:35 Speaker 3: And I kind of get rid of people too, because there always be one person once we get rid of the money, who then takes advantage of the situation and then turns it back into jobs and money. 00:55:44 Speaker 2: Well, because like if you're in the barter system, like okay, I'm gonna bring you three lemons and then you give. 00:55:49 Speaker 3: Me showed up avocado, a pound. 00:55:52 Speaker 2: Of beef, or hey, you take this because it used to be salt for gold like that top things. It's like salt was so valuable that. 00:55:59 Speaker 3: Salt was worth to anything because. 00:56:01 Speaker 2: Salt used to be because before refrigeration, salt was. 00:56:04 Speaker 3: Very important, and now it's everywhere. 00:56:08 Speaker 2: Well, we're trying to get it out of food. 00:56:10 Speaker 3: I mean my entire body is made of salt at this point. 00:56:12 Speaker 2: Yeah, your whole body. I mean your body has a certain salinity too. It's like we put so much salt in everything. 00:56:17 Speaker 4: We're like, oh man, we gotta get rid of my sodium levels are it's because it's free. 00:56:23 Speaker 2: It's because we have refrigerators now. 00:56:25 Speaker 3: And salt tastes delicious. It's amazing. Put it on anything, I will just love it. Yeah. 00:56:31 Speaker 2: I remember going up people like salt and wamelon. 00:56:34 Speaker 3: Oh, salt and fruit delicious. Salt on a pickle is always wild, though you're going overboard. 00:56:40 Speaker 2: Now that's just redundant and man, trying to just sometimes you just got to meet Jesus before you think you should. 00:56:46 Speaker 3: Do you like a sweet pickle? 00:56:48 Speaker 4: Ah, it depends on the stitch, Okay, I like a corner Sean, Oh, the little babies, fellow. 00:56:57 Speaker 3: One of those guys. 00:56:58 Speaker 2: I love a corner Sean. I do like the ones that are like a sweet and spicy, but it's nice, only slightly sweet. 00:57:04 Speaker 3: Right, if it's sweet sweet, it's relish. Yeah. If it's sweet sweet, I think it's disgusting. 00:57:09 Speaker 2: Right, Like bread and butter pickles thrown down the street? 00:57:12 Speaker 3: What's the use? What are you putting those on? 00:57:14 Speaker 2: Also, this does not taste like bread or butter. 00:57:17 Speaker 3: What is its flavor? And I don't want that on bread and butter. That's an even worse thing happened. 00:57:22 Speaker 2: I guess that's what these were for. Like, hey, you having bread and butter, these are the pickles for that over there. Don't get them, guys, over it's not what this is for you out here trying to get your clothing, your baby deals. No, no, no, no, no, these guys right here. You get your bread, you get your butter, you get these nasty ass pickles. I also don't like the half deals, the ones you'll get like in delies in New York. 00:57:42 Speaker 3: No, what's oh wait, like the slice in half? 00:57:44 Speaker 2: No underprocessed. 00:57:45 Speaker 3: Oh I've not heard of this. 00:57:47 Speaker 2: It's a crime. 00:57:47 Speaker 3: So it's still kind of cucumbery. Yeah. Oh no, bitch, pickle side. Yeah, what is the point of that? 00:57:55 Speaker 2: Sometimes you just can't wait. 00:57:57 Speaker 3: Everyone's just bored and they're trying new things. Yeah. 00:58:00 Speaker 2: So hey man, you already out here eating these cold European foods. It might as well get worse. 00:58:08 Speaker 3: Well, I think we should play a game. I'm down gift to a curse today. Okay, I need a number between one and ten from you. Seven. Okay, I have to do a little bit of light calculating to get our game pieces. Okay, So you can promote recommend to whatever you want. Do do do Do Do Do Do dud do do do do Do do do do do do. 00:58:28 Speaker 2: Hey, friends, listen, I've got shows coming up, and what I really would love for you to do is buy my book Hello Friends. It's available on al Gore's Internet. You can go to Prayer Collectibles dot com and get a signed copy. Also Mee and comedian Lace. 00:58:45 Speaker 3: There. 00:58:45 Speaker 2: We started a lip gross brand called Giggle Gloss, and so it's way for us to have Mercy sell on the road, and so we have gorgeous colors that will work on all skin tones. You can go to Giggle gloss dot com and you can place an order. And just to let you know, me and my mom packed the orders at my house because it is our family business, and go to Doorstayslan dot com. 00:59:03 Speaker 3: Comings excellent. I feel like a lot of moms get roped into packing things that have been sold on the internet. 00:59:10 Speaker 2: I'll tell you this. She was not roped in. She wanted to be the head of distribution. 00:59:15 Speaker 3: Oh she did. 00:59:15 Speaker 2: Yes, this is what she said. I'm the head of distribute. 00:59:17 Speaker 3: Building a resume. 00:59:18 Speaker 2: Yes, because she has her own business where she makes like custom T shirts. Oh okayans for people, and so she loves going to the post office, and so I packed my orders and give it to her. She does a post office. 00:59:30 Speaker 3: She's very incredible. 00:59:31 Speaker 2: She loves going to post office. 00:59:32 Speaker 3: Amazing. Okay, Well, this is how we play Gift or a Curse. You gonna name three things. You're gonna tell me if there are a gift or a curse and why I and then I'll tell you if you're right or wrong. Okay, because there are correct answers. Okay, This first one is from a listener named Alison. Gift or a Curse gas Station TV. 00:59:53 Speaker 2: It is a curse because you start watching the TV and you're not paying attention how much gas you're getting. So say sometimes you're like, listen, I only want to put a certain amount in the tank. And you start watching gas station TV and you look up and that you see that you've bought more gas than you wanted. 01:00:09 Speaker 3: It's a setup that's excellent logic. It is a curse for me. It's a curse because I'm I Now I'm driving an electric car, so I never get to watch gas station TV, and now my main news source is gone. I loved watching gas station TV, catching up with Mario Lopez or whoever was on it at the time. Just check into a hotel you can see what Mario's doing. They should have a channel that is gas station TV for home. 01:00:32 Speaker 2: My question is, what is Mario Lopez do all day? Is he just hotel TV? 01:00:41 Speaker 3: I think all the time that mainly on television, But is he every day telling you about the new Fast and the Furious movie? He must be What else would he be doing. 01:00:50 Speaker 2: It's wild to me. 01:00:52 Speaker 3: I once saw him on a golf cart at the Grove. I think that's where they used to shoot one of his many gas station TV style shows, and he did not appear happy. 01:01:02 Speaker 2: I mean, you know what, sometimes you just gotta you just gotta pay your mortgage. 01:01:08 Speaker 3: I bet he must. I bet he's a big spender. 01:01:11 Speaker 2: I could, I couldn't tell you. I do know he's a Republican. 01:01:14 Speaker 3: Oh not loving that. 01:01:15 Speaker 2: Hey, man, listen, when you hit a certain tax bracket, it just makes sense. 01:01:20 Speaker 3: Do not say that. 01:01:22 Speaker 2: Well, here's the problem with it. 01:01:23 Speaker 3: It's that you hit a certain tax bracket and you're like yeah, and then they start talking and you're like, no, it's like that thing, those ideas, okay. 01:01:36 Speaker 2: The money thing, okay, yes, the everything else now. But also what I need from the Democratic Party is that I need them to start doing crime. Yes, because the Republican Party represents a very specific segment of the population, rich, straight white men, because they don't represent white women, rich straight Christian white men. Is literally the replica party. The party represents. The Democratic Party. 01:02:02 Speaker 3: Is every body else. 01:02:06 Speaker 2: Everybody else. And the Republican Party has absolutely no problem jerry mandering in the neighborhood, stealing in elect. 01:02:13 Speaker 3: They do not care. They're all fully on board with it. 01:02:16 Speaker 2: Yes. And also the Republican Party operates with like the RNC. They usually operate with the operating buddies around two hundred million dollars. The Democratic Party the DNC operates with about twenty million. 01:02:29 Speaker 3: Oh my god. 01:02:30 Speaker 2: So you're doing in ten percent of what they're doing because your donors and your base aren't making the money that they're making. So since you're already at a deficit, do crime, Jerry Mander for good. You see the redline for the people, start stealing. 01:02:50 Speaker 3: Start. 01:02:51 Speaker 2: I mean, you need a scandal, We need to do something. The Republican Party has figured out how to do crime for their own good. I need the Democratic Party to do the same. I don't need you to be honest. No, when they're taking away people's. 01:03:05 Speaker 3: Right, we can get away with it. They're getting away with it. 01:03:08 Speaker 2: Yeah, there's nobody to check them. 01:03:09 Speaker 3: Their main guy is the worst person alive. Act sac de mundo. So I don't need you to be this good. 01:03:16 Speaker 2: I need you. They're taking people away, people's rights. Black male, some. 01:03:21 Speaker 3: Body at the bare minimum. All you need to do. 01:03:25 Speaker 2: Listen, we got all of the gays, sick them on, these Republicans, all. 01:03:30 Speaker 3: Of them straight. There are some pretty bad gays. 01:03:32 Speaker 2: I'm I'm not saying that. 01:03:33 Speaker 3: What I'm saying I'm out of the community. 01:03:35 Speaker 2: Listen, the Democratic Party is not trying to take the rights away from the l g b tq I community. So we need to take our powers combined and take one of these beautiful gay men and sick them on one of these Republicans. Because all these Republicans aren't straight. They're not they're not. My god, there's no listen, So we need to take the most beautiful gaze, sick them on these Republicans. Get a scandal, because you can't be passing on these anti trans bills and anti LGBTQ bills and. 01:04:03 Speaker 3: Not in all of all the straight fuck that. 01:04:06 Speaker 2: We need a scandal, get them kicked out of their own party, and get these bills. Reverse. 01:04:11 Speaker 3: We're out here being nice for no reason. Du crime be a white man. Come on, I'm on board. 01:04:20 Speaker 2: I mean, so listen, you're taking a dick for less. Come on, if they would pay me any mind, I do it. 01:04:28 Speaker 4: I do it. 01:04:29 Speaker 3: I'll volunteer to Washington. 01:04:32 Speaker 2: You don't think I wouldn't work on a yacht to get to some of these drag queen bills. 01:04:36 Speaker 3: Reverse, of course, of course, are you kidding me? 01:04:39 Speaker 2: I talk on anybody's yat to get a bill reverse. I'm here to help send me a nice, decent Look, I'm outside, I'm outside. We need to just release them like doves, like we need like I know y'all have the power. We have too many beautiful gave men out in the world. These straits aren't ready, These men aren't ready. One must just one foot tap in a bathroom. Future's gone. 01:05:07 Speaker 3: I am always curious, like because there are gay men sleeping with these a lot of these senators, these clauses, and then the information just never comes out officially. Listen, how are we not dropping these bones? 01:05:19 Speaker 2: Hold your friends at brunch. 01:05:21 Speaker 3: It's not enough. Tell everybody, contact the news. 01:05:26 Speaker 2: Take pictures, screenshots Okay, I know you can screenshot, and Grinder, I know you can't. This isn't what was it? Raya won't let you screenshot. They'll give you an alert, okay, right right, But Grinder, of course you can't screenshot. Release them a. 01:05:44 Speaker 3: I'm trying to help, Yes, beautiful, beautiful, I'm trying to help. And you got the point for gas station TV HA. Very nicely done. Number two. This is from a listener named Jesse. Gift to a curse the wigs worn by British lawyers, and I believe a British lawyer is called us a solicitor, which is. 01:06:06 Speaker 2: Very fun because I don't know what a barrister is because. 01:06:09 Speaker 3: They have too Is it a barrister a barrister? 01:06:12 Speaker 2: I think the solicitor is someone who's just like you, doesn't go to court. Oh okay, but I don't know that there's been a lawyer and an attorney as in America. They are two different people. 01:06:22 Speaker 3: They're interchangeable. But now I'm exposing myself as a complete idiot. 01:06:27 Speaker 2: There's an attorney at law right, because I think you can be a lawyer and not go to court, because you can be like a tax lawyer. 01:06:34 Speaker 3: You can mean a lawyer, but you can also be like a tax attorney. 01:06:39 Speaker 2: I known of this. Either. 01:06:40 Speaker 5: A lawyer typically refers to someone who has obtained a legal education but may not be licensed to represent clients in court. 01:06:47 Speaker 2: Attorney actually has to have the license. 01:06:49 Speaker 3: Very good, you learned something every day, I think. 01:06:54 Speaker 2: Honestly, I think the whigs are a gift because they are so ridiculous and also they are never it's like and they are ridiculous because the women also have to wear them. Everyone has to wear these wigs, and it's such an odd thing. It's such a throwback thing because it's like I went to eight years of college and now I have to put on the robe and this way because like the judge being the only one. Fine, the judge has to wear the robe because we love pomp. 01:07:29 Speaker 3: I love pompa right, you have a bit of that, right, So just like like a. 01:07:33 Speaker 2: Doctor ate, like how they have those fun liol like giant parades. So it's a gift because they are completely nuts. 01:07:41 Speaker 3: Wrong now curse ah, it's a giant tease. Why don't we do it here? If I mean, if they've got something really exciting going on over there and we are courtrooms are so dull, Well. 01:07:55 Speaker 2: We don't do I think we don't do them here is because you wanted to because of the independence of England. 01:08:00 Speaker 3: Well that was a bad move on our part. 01:08:03 Speaker 2: Listen. It had nothing to do with me. So as a woman and as a black person, I had no rights. 01:08:07 Speaker 3: You didn't have anything. 01:08:08 Speaker 2: So no, no, no, no, truly no, say the Constitution was written for white men who owned property, so yeah, you can. It's really none of my business, is same my ministry? 01:08:18 Speaker 3: Well you know, they've made a few other mistakes, and this was we can throw this in the pile. 01:08:23 Speaker 2: Hey man, listen, you have a tea party for a reason. 01:08:26 Speaker 3: Okay, well, okay, you've gotten one out of two so far, and this is the last one. It's from an unknown listener. They I guess, did not attach their name to the email, so that's their fault. Gift to a curse rollerball applicators what I believe. I don't know what that is, but I what I reading that, I'm imagining like a lip gloss that's a ball, you know that kind of rolls around. 01:08:48 Speaker 2: Oh, the ones they could, they would do these, But like oils and stuff, gift why because it's the only way to have an oil where it doesn't leak, like if. 01:08:58 Speaker 3: You have like a scented oil. 01:09:00 Speaker 2: Any other time I've had like an oil or something, it always gets everywhere for some reason. A little ball holding in. Also, it's a nice way to apply stuff because I do like perfumes like that, scented oils, things like in aromatherapy situation. It keeps being very localized, right, I like it. I think they're a gift. 01:09:21 Speaker 3: Well, having never used one and having just heard this, explanation. You get the point gift. It sounds very soothing. 01:09:28 Speaker 2: You never had a colonne? Or oh, they don't make that colone? I guess for does men's colonne not coming a rollerball? 01:09:34 Speaker 3: Well, I don't wear a colone at all, but I've never seen that hmmm, because. 01:09:39 Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, oh, you've never been to the Africans to get like a scented oil. No oh, because that was always what some uncle was selling, shade butter and then the scented oil. 01:09:50 Speaker 3: Some sort of scented oil. I feel like everybody's got an uncle that's involved with scented oils. 01:09:54 Speaker 2: I mean, like when I say uncle, I mean like just like just a random black man. Oh, okay, holding a business. 01:09:59 Speaker 3: Okay outside, well, coming from Utah, the multi level marketing business has a lot of scented oils. 01:10:06 Speaker 2: I did not realize that Utah was only outside like that. When it came to these lake pyramids, ponzis inside. 01:10:13 Speaker 3: They're number one. 01:10:15 Speaker 2: Really, that's how old girl what was her name, Genshaw? 01:10:18 Speaker 3: Oh Genshaw. Now her thing was a completely different thing, which was just lying to senior citizens and taking all of their money. 01:10:24 Speaker 2: Oh, you got a special place in hell for that one. 01:10:27 Speaker 3: Yes, but she's becoming friends with Elizabeth Holmes and the kind of lightweight prison. 01:10:32 Speaker 2: And that's the one that had like the diabet diabetes and she didn't take any blood. 01:10:35 Speaker 3: The blood fairhose thing where you would did another lie. Why are they allowing these two women to catch up with each other. They're gonna do something. 01:10:44 Speaker 2: I mean, here's the thing. They're also they're doing FED time, which is nice, yo. But the wild thing about FED time is that and the way that like the federal prison, there's federal prisons all over the country. You have to serve a federal time, you can serve it anywhere in the United States, right, so you can like no matter where you got convicted, they can move you completely across the country just because they're going to uh huh. So say your family was coming to see you, like you live in Utah, you serve in FED time, Okay, you're in Utah. But then they could pop up and go, hey, you're going to Georgia, right just because they need to move. 01:11:24 Speaker 3: You, just because they need they have space there or something. 01:11:27 Speaker 2: Uh huh. Whatever reason, you get moved, So it could be like, hey, y'all are getting too cozy one of y'all's going to Rhode Island because that people don't really about fed time you serve it anywhere in the country. 01:11:37 Speaker 3: They've got to split them up, they can. They're plotting something. 01:11:41 Speaker 2: Or they're going to get one of the weirdest reality shows you've ever seen. 01:11:44 Speaker 3: That's probably actually probably in the works already. 01:11:47 Speaker 2: Yes, you'd think Andy Cohen, let that happen under his nose. No, And you don't think when that when one of them gets out first, it's like, what it was her last name. 01:11:58 Speaker 3: A Shaw, Junshaw or Elizabeth homes. 01:12:00 Speaker 2: Homes to seat, Oh Holmes and Shaw homes and show it's not they cause crimes so out here just committing crimes together. Yeah, they're gonna be besties and they're trying to figure out life from the outside and you know, because Shaw has her kids and her husband trying to figure that out. And then it's like, well, we got out, we didn't know what to do, so now we lived together. Oh yeah, it's gonna be a whole reality. 01:12:24 Speaker 3: One of them smoking a pipe, one of those long jackets. I see the whole thing. 01:12:29 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, caause apparently they're doing yoga together. So they're gonna get together open a yoga studio, and someone's still gonna loan the money even though they're both. There's no question in my mind because if they're those lady, it's just like, oh, you just got no Honestly, it's like if anyone ever wanted to go white, privilege is not real. Look up the their NOL. 01:12:46 Speaker 3: Take a look at this lady. 01:12:49 Speaker 2: This is the example. No question, she had no research to back this up. Also, when you're like taking like the test, like you already need the smallest amount of blood to do the tests right for diabetes, right, right, test blood sugar, they're already using a drop of blood, So I don't I could never understand. 01:13:09 Speaker 3: Like, well, you know what her promise was that you'd be able to tell any disease or like you'd be able to tell everything about you from just a drop. 01:13:16 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that's a bullface line. 01:13:18 Speaker 3: Yeah. It was one of those things that everyone's like, wow, this is amazing because it was impossible. Oh, because you always needed like tubes of blood. Yeah, you need a lot of blood for most tests. Yes, she was saying that you could basically just like go in and get your finger pricked and know everything you can't do that with the whole tube of blood. 01:13:35 Speaker 2: No, wow, Okay, that was the campaign. Okay, because even because the drop of blood is like, were you looking for one thing and that's sugar? 01:13:42 Speaker 3: Yes, exactly, that's that's something we can do. 01:13:44 Speaker 2: Ah, Okay, that was what the campaign was. 01:13:48 Speaker 3: She had a great time doing it, of course she didn't. Okay, well you've got two out of three. 01:13:54 Speaker 2: Not bad, God bless. 01:13:56 Speaker 3: This is the final segment of the podcast. It's called They Said No Emails. People write into Ice No Gifts at gmail dot com. Every one of them needs some sort of answer from me and the guest. Will you hope me answer a question? Sure? Okay, this is dear Bridger and cheeky guest. I don't know what that means, but he's like fun, like a little sas. Okay, so they're assuming you're a little sassy. 01:14:15 Speaker 2: I think they're assuming that we're all British there, but. 01:14:19 Speaker 3: Being a very British episode. 01:14:21 Speaker 2: Yeah, being cheeky, like being like a little koy with a little sas. 01:14:24 Speaker 3: Okay, well, then keep that in mind when you answer. Okay, this past year I fell in love for the first time. However, unfortunately we dated for less than six months, and then broke up for somewhat mutual life circumstance reasons that sentences need some editing. Shortly thereafter, we entered into a friends with benefit situation, at which point he revealed to me that the real reason we broke up was that his best friend was actually his ex girlfriend, who he is still actively in love with and cheated on me with while we were dating. Does that make sense to you following this? Okay, you might have to explain to this to me after I'm done reading. I was beyond devastated, and soon after told him I needed to cut things off and have no contact whatsoever. The next day, he texted me that he had bought me a surprise gift, and sure enough, when I got home, there was a sparkly gift bag waiting on my doorstep. I was dumb enough to think this might be something sentimental, but when I opened it, it was instead a vibrator. Okay, I haven't spoken to him since and still have no idea what his intent was with this quote unquote gift. All I know is that it was the most humiliated I have felt in my life now for the question at hand, as a person who frequently receives gifts you did not want or ask for. What do I do with the vibrator? I tried to lead a zero waste lifestyle. Wow, there are a lot of themes coming together. We're thinking about squirrels zating avocados right now. I try to lead a zero waste lifestyle. So I'm struggling with the obvious answer of throwing it away. And as most of my friends know this story, at this point, I don't feel like I can subtly regift it. Please advise, and that's from eleanor. 01:16:01 Speaker 2: Throw what the fuck away? What is this zero waist lifestyle? Bullshit? What are you talking about? What the fuck are you saying? 01:16:11 Speaker 3: Do not regift a vibrator? 01:16:12 Speaker 2: Verse of the four and foremost, don't regift the vibrator. Second of all, was it expensive? 01:16:19 Speaker 3: Get on eBay see. 01:16:20 Speaker 2: How much this vibrator costs? Listen. I met this guy on a dating app and he mailed me a vibrator. 01:16:27 Speaker 3: No long had you been chatting? 01:16:29 Speaker 2: Not long enough for him to do that, but it changed my life. So the man knew what he was doing. I'm assumed he was in a relationship. She was like no, It was like he was supposed to come hang out with me. He was supposed to by and it's like we never had a date. And he sent me this vibrator and so he was supposed we were supposed to hang out, and he stood me up. So I said, I'm a slow motion video of me throwing the vibrator in the trash and then I put I put it in my recycling because it was a box and it was in the box. It was like it wasn't. 01:16:59 Speaker 3: Unwrapped turned into a milk jug at this point, right, So slow motion. 01:17:02 Speaker 2: Video of going into the trash. Then I send the video and then I opened the fucking box and used it. 01:17:07 Speaker 3: So this is the thing. 01:17:08 Speaker 2: He is one. He gave it to you because he wants you to think of him when you use it, so he likes having sex with you. 01:17:15 Speaker 3: This is what you do. 01:17:16 Speaker 2: You send him a slow motion video of you throwing it in the trash and then leave it in the trash because he's already disrespected you. 01:17:25 Speaker 3: I mean, this feels almost criminal. Why she is? 01:17:28 Speaker 2: What do you girl? What do you need? 01:17:30 Speaker 3: This guy's dangerous. 01:17:32 Speaker 2: He's a dummy tot fool. Which you do is you send listen rather how a messy you want to be, so you either send him the video of you throwing it in the trash, or you go to the old girl. Hey, your boyfriend sending so you can be it. It's either or you can be a good It's either the left shoulder or is the angel in a douvile situation? How scandalous do you want to be? This is the first man you ever falling in love with is disrespected you and broking your heart. The best thing to do is throw that fucking vibrator into traffic. 01:18:08 Speaker 3: Swerving out of the way of a vibrator, Just truly put it. 01:18:11 Speaker 2: On the four h five, Let multiple cars run on over it. Take a video of that, of course, and then go on with your life. 01:18:19 Speaker 3: You know what to do. 01:18:20 Speaker 2: Listen the fact that. 01:18:21 Speaker 3: She said aliena is zero waves lifestyle. 01:18:25 Speaker 2: Let us know that you really want to throw it away, but have some stupid ass reason why you shouldn't. The fuck is this four eleen? Is there a wave slash style? Then this is one hundred percent nonsense. Throw it is the fuck away? 01:18:39 Speaker 3: What is wrong with you? 01:18:40 Speaker 2: No, you can't regift it. 01:18:42 Speaker 3: It happens that one regift is to the girlfriend. That's the one person that she can reregift it. 01:18:47 Speaker 2: Pap, I'm sorry I got this by accident. He meant to send this to you. Think this meant for he can the wrong doorstep? 01:18:54 Speaker 3: Girl, Your boyfriend's losing his mind also, Or you'll go back to his house and go, hey, bitch, you left that crashes through the front window, except. 01:19:03 Speaker 2: Just hey, set it outside, set it out on the sweatshield, wherever it needs to go. You go back to his hot because you're like, oh, I go on my doorstep. Okay, we're doing doorsteps. That mean you felt that you thought that you was safe enough to comeo. You felt comfortable enough. I've disrespected me and hurting me to come to my house and drop off a vibrator. What fuck are you? You go back? Set it back, go to his house. You forgot something, text him you forgot something, put it on the front porch, and then block his number. 01:19:39 Speaker 3: Wow, yeah, this is nonsense, perfectly answered. I mean you were just ready for that advice. 01:19:45 Speaker 2: She sounds stupid, and I always have perfect advice for people that sound stupid. 01:19:53 Speaker 3: And lean us. 01:19:53 Speaker 2: There always last impossible impossible. You eat eggshells at the house. The fuck is you're talking about are you composting your apartment? 01:20:02 Speaker 3: Bitch? 01:20:02 Speaker 2: Get out of here. You on find fucking contaminant. 01:20:06 Speaker 4: Girl. 01:20:08 Speaker 2: Listen, I'm a good partison. Don't say dumb. 01:20:10 Speaker 3: Stuff to me, Eleanor. I think you have your answer, and if not, then I don't know what to tell you. I mean, what else could you ask? Sure knew what? Damn it? Yo? Listen. 01:20:21 Speaker 2: People be writing in these podcasts, ask the questions like, listen, I know it's not string theory, bitch, I get it. This ain't that meaning of fucking life. But don't set your fingers and don't use Algor's internet and electricity. We never gonna get back to type up something as simple as throw it the fuck away. You know you're supposed to throw it away. This wasn't a question for information. This question for confirmation. You want a permission to do exactly what the fuck you want to do, and your zero waste lifestyle wasn't gonna stop you from fucking doing it. If you need to drive down to a landfill, donate it to somebody. 01:20:51 Speaker 3: Girl, take us to the good will. 01:20:52 Speaker 2: It's unopened. 01:20:54 Speaker 3: Get creative, get creative. 01:20:56 Speaker 2: Put googly eyes on the bitch, and toss it through his car. Who gives a fuck? You know good? 01:21:00 Speaker 3: Damn will? 01:21:00 Speaker 2: You weren't supposed to keep this? Why was I even involved in this conversation? 01:21:03 Speaker 3: We've both been pulled into this thing. She goofy, She's completely goofy. I don't like none of this. 01:21:09 Speaker 2: You knew good and damn well, what'd you asking me for? You might as well ask me what the color of the scar was? No, ma'am. 01:21:17 Speaker 3: Eleanor don't write back in na eleanor no no, no, no no, because you're silly. Well perfectly answered. I've got this new bracelet. I'm so happy about it. I've got your book, I've got all kinds of things. What a lovely time I've had with you. 01:21:32 Speaker 2: Listen, you say no gifts? Would you be getting gifted? 01:21:36 Speaker 3: Don't say thank you so much for being here, thank you for having me. Listener. The podcast is over. I'm just gonna try to get back inside and get away from any possible prowlers. I hope there are no prowlers in your life. The podcast is over. Stop listening. I love you, goodbye. I said no Gifts is an exactly right production. It's produced by our dear friend Analise Nelson. And it's beautifully mixed by Ben Holliday. And we couldn't do it without our guest booker, Patrick Coottner. The theme song, of course, could only come from miracle worker Amy Mann. You must follow the show on Instagram. At I said, no gifts. I don't want to hear any excuses. That's where you get to see pictures of all these gorgeous gifts I'm getting. And don't you want to see pictures of the gifts? And I invited you hear. 01:22:33 Speaker 1: Funa man myself perfectly clear. When you're a guest to me, you gotta come to me empty. And I said, no, guests, your presences presence enough and I'm already too much stuff, So how do you dare to survey me? Became with them