Speaker 1: Welcome to Worst Year Ever, A production of I Heart Radio,
Speaker 1: Well Together Everything. So don't don't geez, Cody, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I I disagree. I mean I don't. I don't think
Speaker 1: our listeners are are foolish dukes. Um, that's that's really
Speaker 1: that's really harsh. Well, I mean, I can't believe that
Speaker 1: came out of your mouth. The marketplace of ideas and
Speaker 1: I'm just like giving you know, options for the market, right.
Speaker 1: I think maybe they maybe they are, maybe they're not,
Speaker 1: but I think it's worthy worthy of debate. Well, this
Speaker 1: is really going to hurt our chances to go public,
Speaker 1: which we were planning to be the first podcast to
Speaker 1: be publicly traded. Thanks Cody, we still can we don't.
Speaker 1: Just don't have to air this part. Well, that would
Speaker 1: have to start the whole show over again. Hey, speaking
Speaker 1: of dishonest, you know who's not the most honest man
Speaker 1: who has ever existed? It has been Shapiro. Do you
Speaker 1: have anything vaguely related to Ben Shapiro to share with
Speaker 1: us today? My? Oh, let me check, let me check
Speaker 1: my my websites. Oh oh wow, here's oh wow. Here
Speaker 1: is Ben Shapiro's first published book, A book of short stories.
Speaker 1: Now I cannot believe you did this instance. But do
Speaker 1: you mean to tell us all that Ben Shapiro, the
Speaker 1: author of True Allegiance, Yeah, has a previous fiction publication.
Speaker 1: Oh his premier before you, the incredible H much loud, foundational.
Speaker 1: Let's yeah, Jackson, and give some context because this is
Speaker 1: a different show. UM, and I think there's probably are
Speaker 1: some of some of our listeners perhaps don't know what
Speaker 1: we're talking about. We did a different show for a
Speaker 1: year straight on a different on We for a year
Speaker 1: straight on Robert's other show, Behind the Bastards. Uh. Cody
Speaker 1: and I would intermittently come on and he would just
Speaker 1: read aloud to us sections of Ben Shapiro's awful novel. UM.
Speaker 1: I don't think we need to debate that. UM. I
Speaker 1: think that people can go back and peruse that library
Speaker 1: if they want to catch up over the fun holidays.
Speaker 1: But for now, what we are going to be presenting
Speaker 1: to you over a number of episodes are Ben Shapiro's
Speaker 1: short stories. Uh. This is uh, this I believe was
Speaker 1: self published. Baby use an e book. I self published
Speaker 1: a book to you know? I no, no, no, nothing
Speaker 1: that Um it is no longer available. Uh, where e
Speaker 1: books are available. I believe that virus. I started looking
Speaker 1: just like seeing and I there were all these links.
Speaker 1: I was like, not clicking that, not clicking that. Hour
Speaker 1: later Cody is like, oh my god, I caught it.
Speaker 1: There are Yeah, there are many many bad links out there,
Speaker 1: ones like a Google doc that you can go to
Speaker 1: like somebody. Yeah, um but I found that's extremely funny.
Speaker 1: Safely it is virus free and um so you think
Speaker 1: until you start reading still you crack that motherfucker open,
Speaker 1: and that's when the virus part of virus. Yeah, there's
Speaker 1: there's already some guy in Macedonia like going over cody
Speaker 1: social Security number, transferring cash out of his bank accounts.
Speaker 1: It will be worth it. Um. Yeah, so it's here. Uh,
Speaker 1: we're very happy he clearly, I think just because it's
Speaker 1: self published. I don't think there's an editor. I think
Speaker 1: he just didn't want people to read it. Is there
Speaker 1: like a description of any sort of the book that
Speaker 1: it doesn't have that on the version I have, But
Speaker 1: that's extra writing. You're not gonna give that up for free.
Speaker 1: But I think there is a yeah here, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: go to good Reads, where again it is not available.
Speaker 1: But because this is hard to find. Yeah. Um, But
Speaker 1: in What's Benja Pier releases his first book of short stories,
Speaker 1: Explanation Point and What's Fair. An incredible invention leads to
Speaker 1: bloody brutality when an unsatisfied brother to size he hasn't
Speaker 1: received what he is owed. Wow, really wearing your beliefs
Speaker 1: on your sleeve there, ben And from the pit an
Speaker 1: adventure shrinks to microscopic size to clean up the environment.
Speaker 1: But this is going to go himself targeted for murder
Speaker 1: when he accidentally ingested the body of a mysterious employer.
Speaker 1: Sorry Katie Wood. So like a HONEYI shrunk that kids
Speaker 1: kind of vibe, but like kind of mixed with that
Speaker 1: what's the what's the movie where they go inside the
Speaker 1: fantastic voyage or something. It's like that mixed with that,
Speaker 1: mixed with like environmentalism. And I'm going to guess for
Speaker 1: all of these here's my my prediction. Weird and not
Speaker 1: at all relevant Biblical like like bizarre and uncomfortable biblical
Speaker 1: comparisons like I'm gonna guest have to be like really yeah,
Speaker 1: really allegories like oh, I see what you're trying to say,
Speaker 1: because you're telling me, um yeah, really like on the
Speaker 1: nose surface level allegories. For example, in Utopia, a man
Speaker 1: of Bandon's paradise when he realizes that periods up to
Speaker 1: be is it utopia or like utopia? It's just utopia utopia?
Speaker 1: But is this the threat to that paradise? Oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: I bet, I bet the Utopia is like lefty but
Speaker 1: not secretly it's yeah, it's not going to be so
Speaker 1: nice and that lefty heaven. From science fiction to parable,
Speaker 1: from love to violence, Shapira's exciting stories capture the imagination.
Speaker 1: I bet, thank you. And then there's a list of
Speaker 1: you know, his other books um uh, and you know
Speaker 1: labeled brilliant by Russia, Limbaugh, a Warrior by Globeck, and
Speaker 1: a foe of extraordinary polemic agility by the Washington past God,
Speaker 1: the Washington Who at the Washington Who Cody? Whom the post?
Speaker 1: What is that quote? I'm looking that up right now.
Speaker 1: Who writes the good Reads page? What is the A
Speaker 1: foe of extraordinary polemic agility? A foe of extraordinary polemic agility?
Speaker 1: As when you just do a search for that, all
Speaker 1: of them are the book What's fair? See here's the
Speaker 1: thing and I here's what I think somebody here because
Speaker 1: and I believe true allegiance. Yes. Uh, the one of
Speaker 1: the blurbs says, meet our new Iron Rand, and that's
Speaker 1: the quote that is used in the book. But if
Speaker 1: you google that you find that it's part of a headline,
Speaker 1: and the full headline is meet our New Iron Rand,
Speaker 1: Ben Shapiro's ham fisted propacanda fiction. Even worn it's so funny,
Speaker 1: cod it's so funny and it's it's look, I would
Speaker 1: not be surprised if it was like the actual quote
Speaker 1: was like Ben Shapiro likes to see himself as exactly
Speaker 1: because I I have just gone through within a like
Speaker 1: the different permutations, just basically doing different like quote searches
Speaker 1: for for that phrase and adding Ben Shapiro the post
Speaker 1: You think, just words from that phrase, nothing comes up
Speaker 1: at all. But but like really sketchy book links about
Speaker 1: the book, What's fair, no Washington Post Water. I have
Speaker 1: no idea who who said this about him or if
Speaker 1: he said it over at dinner once. Yeah, but I
Speaker 1: need to back up because the way read it over
Speaker 1: time a foe of agility and so like it's written
Speaker 1: like enemy of that or is it a bad guy
Speaker 1: that has all of that, you know what I mean, Like,
Speaker 1: either way, what is that doing on your book? But
Speaker 1: it no, it frames him like he is the enemy
Speaker 1: of extraordinary And this is this is why Ben Shapiro
Speaker 1: is such a consistent, beautiful thing for us to cover,
Speaker 1: because we haven't even gotten into the book and we
Speaker 1: are we already have so much to discuss, to discuss
Speaker 1: please continue. So is that and then you know whatch
Speaker 1: appears widely considered one of the most prominent young conservatives America.
Speaker 1: Can't argue with that. Uh, this volume contains his first
Speaker 1: foray into the fiction world and not his last. I
Speaker 1: had that last little bit. No, they didn't know at
Speaker 1: the time. They didn't know what he didn't know at
Speaker 1: the time. He definitely wrote himself. Well yeah, yeah, I
Speaker 1: actually I think one thing we can say about Ben
Speaker 1: Shapiro is it is unlikely that he plagiarized anyone else's writing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think I think that's very obvious by reading the sentences. Um,
Speaker 1: author of six non fiction books, including New York Time, Pestler, Bullies,
Speaker 1: Editor of Daily Wire, Editor at large a Breitbart News
Speaker 1: that's no longer true. Uh uh, probably not. You could
Speaker 1: have an entire show that is just reading. I feel
Speaker 1: like his nonfiction is going to be like way harder
Speaker 1: and more frustrating. Yeah, it's like his opinions, but like
Speaker 1: him just saying them as opposed to like him trying
Speaker 1: to like be a little little clever writer. Guy Um.
Speaker 1: I mean, I I will say, because we here at
Speaker 1: uh behind the Bastards, Sophia and I are going over
Speaker 1: his book that he wrote about sex um and it
Speaker 1: is a porn book. It's the porn Generation, the book
Speaker 1: in which he cites as an example of how teenagers
Speaker 1: are acting in two thousand four, a book by Norman
Speaker 1: Mailier about a fictional uh electric electric cool Tom wolf
Speaker 1: a book by Tom Wolfe about a fictional college student
Speaker 1: as evidence of like how actual college students behave because
Speaker 1: if anyone in two thousand four understood millennials, it was
Speaker 1: Tom wolf like a work of anyway. So that's the
Speaker 1: description of the book. The actual book itself is called
Speaker 1: What's Fair Colon and Other short Stories. I will say
Speaker 1: that there are only three short stories, and they're each
Speaker 1: about twenty pages, and each page is kind of like
Speaker 1: that goose Bumps font you know, where it's like you
Speaker 1: fit like two and a half paragraphs on a page. Um,
Speaker 1: so you know that's fine. The short stories, it's fine. Um,
Speaker 1: no judgment there. Um. I will uh challenge everybody as
Speaker 1: we go to a quick ad break and come back
Speaker 1: to read the first short story called What's Fair? Uh
Speaker 1: guess the first sentence of a short story by Ben
Speaker 1: Shapiro called What's Fair in a collection called What's Fair
Speaker 1: and Other Short Stories. Oh boy, I bet it's gonna
Speaker 1: be happy. Families are all alike. Oh, I bet it's
Speaker 1: what's fair? Question Mark, you're Katie's closer in the right direction.
Speaker 1: All right, we'll be back to find out the answer together.
Speaker 1: Everything break today. Alright, Cody, we're finally doing it. We're
Speaker 1: gonna cut that album. I think I think that's the sign. Robert,
Speaker 1: Robert and Cody sing a totally while looking at their
Speaker 1: laptops during a zoom call the album mumble lyrics to
Speaker 1: a song that doesn't exist, but that doesn't exist. Keep
Speaker 1: it all in, We're back. Snack from space. Hey, everybody,
Speaker 1: welcome back. Wow. Narrative polemics of Ben Shapiro. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: I before we get into his book, I do think
Speaker 1: it's worth acknowledging the courage of releasing your first ever
Speaker 1: fictional debut and choosing three short stories to be the
Speaker 1: whole thing. Yeah, He's like, yeah, I think that's it.
Speaker 1: Most people. Look, I've written some fiction, and there's a
Speaker 1: lot of fiction that I wrote and nobody ever saw
Speaker 1: that came out that I put together before the first
Speaker 1: thing that I published. And I'll just say I respect
Speaker 1: the hutzpah. Ben Shapiro shows by never once doubting that
Speaker 1: these three short stories zero needed to be published, utter
Speaker 1: confidence in himself that I don't need to work on this.
Speaker 1: That's the thing about his his book, like every page
Speaker 1: seems like nobody edited it, like it was a first
Speaker 1: draft that he said, good, it's done. Because I feel
Speaker 1: like with True Allegiance, uh it does read like it
Speaker 1: wasn't edited, but I think it was, and I'm pretty
Speaker 1: sure this absolutely was not. Uh So, I'm curious the
Speaker 1: divide there. I'm curious what that first line is. Well,
Speaker 1: do you have any other guesses you want to shout
Speaker 1: in your phone? Uh So the first sentence, So, what's fair?
Speaker 1: I've always thought of myself as a fair man, and
Speaker 1: I just think that's so fucking funny, you're just saying
Speaker 1: it's all laid out. Um, no no time to no wavering.
Speaker 1: All right. So I've always thought of myself as a
Speaker 1: fair man. That's all I ever wanted. What was fair
Speaker 1: when the plow was done and when it was time
Speaker 1: for supper. All I wanted was the same as what
Speaker 1: everybody else got. God, the same as okay, fair, I
Speaker 1: always say, God, damn you okay. As what everybody else
Speaker 1: got was that it was a couple of sentences. It
Speaker 1: was a couple he's got. He's got some periods in here.
Speaker 1: He uses words the way drunk people use cars, and
Speaker 1: it's just very sad to see words going through. Wait
Speaker 1: till you here the next sentence. Oh, good, new paragraph.
Speaker 1: I remember a time when I was a kid that
Speaker 1: Dad gave me and Jim Christmas presents. What I remember
Speaker 1: a time when I was a kid that Dad gave
Speaker 1: me and Jim Christmas presents. So no one edited this.
Speaker 1: You're right. He gave Jim a risk watch and he
Speaker 1: gave me a hunting knife. Uh, we'll find out, I hope.
Speaker 1: Why don't you introduce your relationship with this guy to start? No,
Speaker 1: Ben understands that the key to good fiction is keeping mystery.
Speaker 1: You want to keep the audience guessing who is this
Speaker 1: person they're getting Christmas? This is? This is uh, you know,
Speaker 1: I'm going to come to Ben's defense here in this
Speaker 1: marketplace terrible ideas, because uh, I feel like in true allegiance,
Speaker 1: it would be like I remember a time when I
Speaker 1: was a kid that dad gave me and Jim my
Speaker 1: brother Christmas presents. Whereas yea christ presents, I assume it's
Speaker 1: his brother, because who else his dad given Christmas presents to? Um?
Speaker 1: He actually assume it's Jim Jones. It's very well fingers
Speaker 1: trust we'll see, it's not very long. How do we know?
Speaker 1: All right? But he did give jimmy griss watch, and
Speaker 1: he gave me a hunting knife. Boy, it was Jim
Speaker 1: taken with that wristwatch. He'd wear it around every day,
Speaker 1: rain or shine, always careful to keep it clean, to
Speaker 1: keep it sound. If he scuffed it up, he'd buff
Speaker 1: that scuff right out. Incredibly engaging writing bit. He'd spent
Speaker 1: hours with a handkerchief, spitting on it and rubbing it,
Speaker 1: spitting on it and wiping it until spitting on it.
Speaker 1: Because audio we've been sharing spitting on it, And that's
Speaker 1: what your brother was doing, wiping it sting. I didn't
Speaker 1: really like my hunting knife. I wasn't big like Jim.
Speaker 1: Then it wasn't very context very people's sizes, and here
Speaker 1: always has to be pretty big. Well, here comes the moment. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I I just love We've we've found the origin of
Speaker 1: beIN Shapiro writing in a in a very sad way
Speaker 1: about someone brother. Does he have one? I don't Jim?
Speaker 1: Does he have a Does he jerk off his watch
Speaker 1: all the time? His middle name is Aaron. Now he's
Speaker 1: a sister Apple Gail. Maybe um, maybe he's Jim. And
Speaker 1: this story anyway continue. Well, he wasn't big like I
Speaker 1: wasn't big like Jim. Then it wasn't until later that
Speaker 1: I hit my growth spurt. Every they always he can't
Speaker 1: even he was praying for that growth spurt. Great, his
Speaker 1: prayers were not answered. But you know, that's very funny.
Speaker 1: That's that's incredibly funny. Okay, it's right there. But Dad
Speaker 1: kept after me to try it out, and I wanted
Speaker 1: so bad to please him, so I headed out to
Speaker 1: the woods to see if I could catch something. Sure enough,
Speaker 1: I found me a rabbit. When I pounced for him,
Speaker 1: though he was faster than I was. Yeah, he's a rabbit,
Speaker 1: and he skittered away like his tail was on fire. Okay,
Speaker 1: really good rust stuff. But I wanted to show Dad
Speaker 1: that I knew what to do with a knife, so
Speaker 1: I chased him and chased him. He chased your dad, Yeah,
Speaker 1: this is this is where they're like the poor. Like
Speaker 1: an editor would help. Yeah, yeah, said, it's a new paragraph.
Speaker 1: We haven't mentioned the rabbit in this paragraph. I wanted
Speaker 1: to show Dad chase him and chase him. This isn't
Speaker 1: the only spot. This isn't where it starts. I couldn't.
Speaker 1: I would have used an editor from word one. I
Speaker 1: remember a time when I was a kid that Dad
Speaker 1: gave me and Jim Christmas presence. Kind of an awkward phrasing,
Speaker 1: um right off the bat, But I chased him, chased him,
Speaker 1: and I finally cornered that old rabbit in a rocky
Speaker 1: little dead end. He'd moved to his left, and I'd
Speaker 1: moved to my right to cut him off. He'd moved
Speaker 1: to his right, and I jump with him, but he
Speaker 1: was too smart for me. He charged straight at me,
Speaker 1: and before I knew it, he'd gone right between my legs,
Speaker 1: like that ball Buckner missed in the series. I love
Speaker 1: because he's very clearly trying to be like folksy and
Speaker 1: like found me around classical, grew up in the country.
Speaker 1: Number one, he doesn't get the way people talk right
Speaker 1: at all. But number two, Uh, it's very clear that
Speaker 1: all of his knowledge about how to like chase and
Speaker 1: hunt down a rabbit comes from Looney Tunes cartoons. It's
Speaker 1: literally like a Looney Tunes he's describing there, or like
Speaker 1: playing basketball. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's it doesn't bear. Also,
Speaker 1: it would be not like rabbits are very easy to skin.
Speaker 1: That's one of the nice things about rabbits. A gigantic
Speaker 1: hunting knife would be like a weird tool in any
Speaker 1: instance to use on a rabbit. But okay, whatever, its
Speaker 1: good to have around at random, I mean all times,
Speaker 1: but random times you just have specific wealth of knowledge.
Speaker 1: You mean this short story like, well, do you like
Speaker 1: you would never use that tool? Yeah, I mean like
Speaker 1: when even like butchering like a sheep or something, you're
Speaker 1: not using like a giant hunting knife like he's describing,
Speaker 1: like there's like specialized like you could but like smaller anyway, whatever,
Speaker 1: you want to impress his dad, you know, yea psychopathic maybe, yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean if you If I was going to make
Speaker 1: it more realistic, I would have like, you know, him
Speaker 1: going out hunting with his dad, and his dad's you know,
Speaker 1: given him a hunting knife or bought him a twenty
Speaker 1: two or like something that actually makes a little bit
Speaker 1: more sense than him just like wandering out alone with
Speaker 1: a knife to like, yeah, catches catch the rab the rabbit,
Speaker 1: and then his dad's like skin the rabbit and he's
Speaker 1: like too squeamish to do it, or yeah, sure, yeah
Speaker 1: like it. I like, okay, my my my ex wife's
Speaker 1: little brother grew up in the middle of nowhere, Texas
Speaker 1: and would hunt rabbits and stuff. But it was always
Speaker 1: like trapping them because like tex just better. And so
Speaker 1: maybe he like traps a rabbit, but he's too squeamish
Speaker 1: to actually like kill it or knife. There's a number
Speaker 1: of ways that that a writer this work, right. The
Speaker 1: the issue he's running into now is like a the
Speaker 1: rabbit like ran through my legs, Like you didn't get
Speaker 1: a chance to use the n nonsense. Yeah, okay, please continue, Cody,
Speaker 1: this is very full. I turned around and there was
Speaker 1: that rabbit sitting there staring at me like he was laughing.
Speaker 1: And I got so mad that I took that hunting
Speaker 1: knife and I threw it at him like James Coburn
Speaker 1: in The Magnificent Seven, just about took his head off.
Speaker 1: But that rabbit moved like lightning. He was gone, and
Speaker 1: I heard him. That's not just about taking its head off, right,
Speaker 1: It got away, didn't just about to take his head.
Speaker 1: I just got to point that out. Yeah, if it
Speaker 1: touched the rabbit, maybe maybe I feel like, you know,
Speaker 1: nicked him a little bit. I didn't, but he didn't
Speaker 1: that he was gone. And I heard a plunk from
Speaker 1: a creek that ran through the woods. Wait, okay, I
Speaker 1: heard of plunk from a creek that ran through the woods.
Speaker 1: The knife was gone, too, Well, you could find a knife, um,
Speaker 1: like you threw the knife, you know, all right? Whatever.
Speaker 1: When I got for the knife, yeah, the rabbit didn't
Speaker 1: didn't like scarpor off again, continuing to sound like Looney Tunes.
Speaker 1: When I got back home that night, I was too
Speaker 1: embarrassed to tell Dad what happened to that knife. But
Speaker 1: the next morning, when Jim got up, he found that
Speaker 1: his watch was dented. He couldn't buff that out? All right, okay,
Speaker 1: great new section of the book skips a line. This
Speaker 1: is so bad. Wait a minute, just that thing like,
Speaker 1: but when I woke up, Jim's watch was dented. Couldn't
Speaker 1: buff that out? What? Yeah, that's not okay, that's certain
Speaker 1: that happened alight, I'm not to know what happens next. Well,
Speaker 1: what happened next is I met em Dash, Emily, that
Speaker 1: is Dash. When I was a senior in high school.
Speaker 1: She was about the cutest thing you've ever seen, No,
Speaker 1: strawberry blonde with a knockout body and a button nose,
Speaker 1: blue eyes too, like a miniature of Britney Spears on
Speaker 1: the team. Okay, back up, she smiled at me breastily.
Speaker 1: Wait a minute, Wait a minute, Wait a minute. I
Speaker 1: made that lineup. I made that up. That's not like you.
Speaker 1: You might not have is the thing? Um that's intentionally
Speaker 1: in there? Sure? But then so after he meets this
Speaker 1: cutest thing you've ever seen, strawberry blonde hair with a
Speaker 1: knockout body and a button nose, blue eyes too, like,
Speaker 1: manage your Britney Spears. She was on the cheerleading team.
Speaker 1: By then, I'd hit that growth spurt I mentioned, and
Speaker 1: I was a big burly kid the full back onto
Speaker 1: he actually say that growth spurt, he did say, And
Speaker 1: by that I had hit that growth spurt I mentioned
Speaker 1: where I had edited, I would say, hey, Ben, there's
Speaker 1: no reason to mention in the growth spurt earlier. Just
Speaker 1: say then I hit a growth spurt, and save yourself
Speaker 1: some words, and don't introduce a fact until it's actually meaningful. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's a good note. If anything, don't say that you
Speaker 1: mentioned it, because we know it was two paragraphs that
Speaker 1: she's mentioned two times. Here's what I'm going to say
Speaker 1: is it's been mentioned two times in this very short
Speaker 1: story already because that's so important to him. It's so
Speaker 1: important to him, and it's the thing he never got. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and like absolutely no shade at people at any heights.
Speaker 1: We love you. It's him because he's so preoccupied with
Speaker 1: people's heights. And you know what I mean. Anyway, If
Speaker 1: you don't know what I mean, go back and listen
Speaker 1: to all of us talking about single chapter. Every time
Speaker 1: we've ever talked about the really short terrorists and they
Speaker 1: really tall. Everybody else, Ah, the bad Guy's classic. That's
Speaker 1: big burly kid fullback on the team. I was barreling
Speaker 1: kids over, I mean steamrolling them, and coach said I
Speaker 1: was a sure thing for All State. The minute I
Speaker 1: laid eyes on M, I knew she was the girl
Speaker 1: for me. I knew she liked me too. You see,
Speaker 1: she wasn't. It's so awkward. Sorry, she wasn't the first
Speaker 1: girl I'd ever gone out with. When you're the star
Speaker 1: fullback on your high school football team in a small
Speaker 1: town like Jefferson, there are plenty of girls after you,
Speaker 1: Comma looking for something to tell their daughters about twenty
Speaker 1: years from now. Yeah, but M with something special. When
Speaker 1: I was on the field, she'd cheer and she'd look
Speaker 1: at me, and I felt like I was playing just
Speaker 1: for her. That's nice. One night after the game, ME
Speaker 1: and M got to talking. Don't ask me what we
Speaker 1: talked about. I wouldn't know. Probably a game, or her
Speaker 1: classes or something else. Love story for the ages, said,
Speaker 1: I don't give a fuck. By the time we looked around,
Speaker 1: the sun had gone down. It was late. She looked
Speaker 1: up at me with those big eyes through her eyelashes.
Speaker 1: Good god, Good god, Ben, have you ever cared about
Speaker 1: a person? Honestly, I could see, she'd combed them special
Speaker 1: for me. Yeah that's what you noticed. Yeah, I noticed
Speaker 1: that she did her She's looking through them with her
Speaker 1: big eyes, her big blue eyes, thankfully, and she asked
Speaker 1: me to walk her home. Of course, being no fool,
Speaker 1: I said sure. She lived in a nice area of
Speaker 1: town and I lived near the fields, so we had
Speaker 1: to walk past my house to get to hers. As
Speaker 1: we walked by, I pointed at our house. We have
Speaker 1: to admit I had some guilty thoughts about m and
Speaker 1: I knew that Dad and Mom weren't home. My guess
Speaker 1: was right, Oh, this is weird. There's like a double
Speaker 1: indentation for this paragraph. Yeah, because he again he's never
Speaker 1: read anything that he's written. Yeah, this is this that
Speaker 1: this is a really new paragraph. It's like he hit
Speaker 1: tab like three times one paragraph. All right, my guess
Speaker 1: was right. She wasn't shy either. She batted those eyelashes
Speaker 1: and told me she'd love to see the house. Could
Speaker 1: I show her around? She didn't have to ask me twice.
Speaker 1: That's a new paragraph. And then here's another new paragraph.
Speaker 1: We walked up to the door and I took her
Speaker 1: in my arms, and that's when Jim opened to the door.
Speaker 1: He was back from State where he was studying agricultural engineering,
Speaker 1: and he looked at me, laughing with his eyes and said, hey, brother,
Speaker 1: I'm home. When I finally we confirmation Jim's brother. When
Speaker 1: I turned back to introduce M, she was looking at him.
Speaker 1: They were married six months later. This is so bad.
Speaker 1: It's bad news for this guy talking right. Oh you
Speaker 1: mean the writing also? Yes, yeah, the writing is quite bad.
Speaker 1: He spends so much time on dumb details and zero
Speaker 1: time on where the story is. Like it understands that
Speaker 1: the least important thing about the story is that there's
Speaker 1: a story. Right. Yeah, well I think he's gonna You know,
Speaker 1: Jim just gets everything he wants right. And it's not fair.
Speaker 1: I've read the first sentence of this U this short story.
Speaker 1: All is fairer to be close enough. I always thought
Speaker 1: of myself as a fair man. But a new section.
Speaker 1: We've the passage of time. Uh. This is after they've
Speaker 1: been married six months later. Uh. The next summer, Dad
Speaker 1: died in an accident. Mom was walking around like a ghost,
Speaker 1: and the farm was going to ruin. Jim and M,
Speaker 1: who were off living near state, came home to help
Speaker 1: take care of Mom and the farm. Dad had left
Speaker 1: him in charge since he was the first born. Jim
Speaker 1: and M moved into the house with us. The farm
Speaker 1: was still workable well, Jim was m moved into the
Speaker 1: house with you. Jim lived there. I think, I mean, hey, brother,
Speaker 1: I'm home moments doesn't know whatever. Jim and Man moved
Speaker 1: in the house with us. The farm was still workable,
Speaker 1: and Jim figured that he could save up enough money
Speaker 1: to buy some machinery. Jim took over the master bedroom
Speaker 1: with M and Mom moved into Jim's old room. I
Speaker 1: stayed where I had always been. It was pretty terrible
Speaker 1: to be around the house, what with mom haunting is so?
Speaker 1: Oh say it differently, man, So I spent most haunting
Speaker 1: it like that bit like haunting them for stupid dead
Speaker 1: Uh So. I spent most of my extra time in
Speaker 1: the weight room at school, classic bulking up for next year.
Speaker 1: I didn't like to be near Mom. It made me
Speaker 1: feel depressed inside. I was a high school graduate and
Speaker 1: I was getting invited to all the best parties. Anyway,
Speaker 1: One night, Jim and M asked if I could take
Speaker 1: care of Mom for a while so they could go
Speaker 1: out and grab dinner. I said sure, I was downstairs
Speaker 1: watching TV when I saw the water dripping through the ceiling.
Speaker 1: It turns out the mom was in the bathtub, her
Speaker 1: head under the water, not breathing. I had learned some
Speaker 1: basic mouth to mouth and I was able to get
Speaker 1: her breathing again. But she was never the same after that. Now,
Speaker 1: Jim and m and I had to help her get
Speaker 1: to the bathroom, shower herself, feed herself. What the fuck?
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, Wait a minute. He is just going through
Speaker 1: so much. It's a lot going on. Yeah, this is
Speaker 1: a I mean, it's actually Ben's pitching his full length
Speaker 1: family drama. It's actually just like the treatment for it.
Speaker 1: He's doing this thing that like upper like money, having
Speaker 1: a coastal elite, Conservatives do to pretend that they're not
Speaker 1: coastal elites because Ben is, as far as I know,
Speaker 1: a California boy. Um, and it's they're doing this thing
Speaker 1: where they imagine and I don't think Ben has ever
Speaker 1: spent a particular amount of time near working class or
Speaker 1: even poor. He grew up in Burbank. Yeah, he grew
Speaker 1: up in Burbank. And he's doing this thing that conservatives
Speaker 1: in his position do, where in order to try to
Speaker 1: separate themselves from the liberal coastal elites that they demonize.
Speaker 1: They imagine, they imagine they actually know anything about what
Speaker 1: rural life is like. And in Ben's case, he's imagining
Speaker 1: this like constant train of horrific disasters and tragedies and
Speaker 1: folksy nonsense, and it's it's just like, yeah, because you
Speaker 1: don't know, you don't actually know what the actual like
Speaker 1: struggles in in rural America are. Like if you did,
Speaker 1: I think he would be spending less time on trying
Speaker 1: to take Karama and more time talking about like like
Speaker 1: even if you're going to focus on like your mom's
Speaker 1: health issues, the lack of like actual medical care of
Speaker 1: hospitals and whatnot in rural areas, the difficulty in actually
Speaker 1: like getting someone to treatment when you're out in the sticks,
Speaker 1: um how to like like it kind of glosses over,
Speaker 1: like how they actually got her treatment. Okay, Like you
Speaker 1: pull her out of the bathtub, Now where do you
Speaker 1: take her? You're an hour and a half away from
Speaker 1: the hospital, Like do you have gas? Do you maybe
Speaker 1: only have one car and your brothers away in the car,
Speaker 1: and so you can't do anything for a while, Like
Speaker 1: every year, if he knew anything about what it was
Speaker 1: actually like dealing with problems for people. But he's imagining, Yeah,
Speaker 1: now suddenly, okay, we've taken care of Ma, and yeah
Speaker 1: that's the thing. Um, it's not good. It's it's like
Speaker 1: Jade Vance, right, yeah, it's that stuff. It's like, oh yeah, look,
Speaker 1: I can imagine the hardships. Um, but now they have
Speaker 1: to they know, now they have to, you know, get
Speaker 1: into the bathroom, shower herself, help, help help, he feed yourself.
Speaker 1: I imagine something. I imagine it's time for an act
Speaker 1: for a time for a nat break. Oh well, we'll
Speaker 1: find out soon. What happens at State State is always
Speaker 1: capitalized and it's unclear where. Um it's like the state college. Right.
Speaker 1: It's like it's like he's trying to keep it as
Speaker 1: vegue as possible, because like Lincoln, Americana Midwest. Yeah yeah,
Speaker 1: but you know, we'll be right back. We will together everything,
Speaker 1: so don't don't. And then we came back, and it
Speaker 1: was this moment back we did. We didn't come back.
Speaker 1: We we buffed our watch, we shined it, we like
Speaker 1: rubbed it more, we spat on what I did little more,
Speaker 1: and then we came back. I walked on out to
Speaker 1: that forest, and I easily found the knife I chucked.
Speaker 1: Just took a minute of me like you just left
Speaker 1: it there? Because yeah, like I remembered that I threw
Speaker 1: it and it didn't hit the rabbit, but like the
Speaker 1: general area where I threw it, and I was able
Speaker 1: to find it and come home with it, and now
Speaker 1: I still have it. Oh good good? After that sounds easy? Uh,
Speaker 1: Like you would only need like a short ad bricks
Speaker 1: worth of time to go find that knife that you threw. Honestly,
Speaker 1: any who uh that fall starting for State? I blew
Speaker 1: out my knee there with the scholarship offer to State?
Speaker 1: How did you out your knee? Say? Yeah, how did
Speaker 1: you like? What was the move? You know? Haven't again?
Speaker 1: A thing a writer would do is describe, you know,
Speaker 1: the excitement of this big game, how much it meant
Speaker 1: to you. You've got like this girl who's like super
Speaker 1: into you, and they're about to be you know, your
Speaker 1: whole future is writing on this pivotal moment, and then
Speaker 1: you describe the actual scene. You know, you're running the
Speaker 1: ball sailing overhead, and as you leap up to catch it,
Speaker 1: somebody like comes in and tackles you and get you
Speaker 1: like right in the side, and you land as he
Speaker 1: pulls you down. You land on your right leg and
Speaker 1: it fucking pops your knee out and it tears, and
Speaker 1: you you know, and the story you cry in the
Speaker 1: game and point out it's not because it hurt. It's
Speaker 1: because I knew that I wouldn't be able to play anymore,
Speaker 1: Whereas the way this is written, it's like, yeah, and
Speaker 1: then I blew up my knee and then the scholarship
Speaker 1: was gone, and I balled like a baby. But like,
Speaker 1: it's not connected to the game or the event. It's
Speaker 1: connected to like losing the scholarship, but that he wouldn't
Speaker 1: be able to use a font that's true. This is
Speaker 1: you are correct. This big, this incredibly important event in
Speaker 1: this person's life is two sentences long. You are here.
Speaker 1: Here's the central issue that Ben keeps having. He is
Speaker 1: he thinks that he is making an emotionally affecting story
Speaker 1: by having sad and difficult things happen to a family
Speaker 1: of characters. But all he is doing is listing sad things,
Speaker 1: rather than making us inhabit a moment in which something
Speaker 1: difficult and sad happens. And it's because he understands the
Speaker 1: broad strokes, Oh, yeah, your mom can get sick and
Speaker 1: you don't have much money. You could you can hurt
Speaker 1: yourself while playing in a game and not be able
Speaker 1: to to go pro. But he doesn't understand enough about
Speaker 1: what it actually means to be poor with a suffering,
Speaker 1: sick family rout in the middle of nowhere, or what
Speaker 1: what sports are to write scenes in which things happens
Speaker 1: happen emotional. This is the epitome of facts don't care
Speaker 1: about your feelings. Feelings, and this happened, this happened, and
Speaker 1: like there's no attempt at like an empathetic approach to
Speaker 1: it to like you're saying, like, yeah, get into this story,
Speaker 1: get into the characters and like live these moments. Yeah,
Speaker 1: well then this happened, and that's what that's that's bad.
Speaker 1: So when facts don't care about your feelings, you're it's
Speaker 1: you can't like, it's not human, it's not Yeah, like
Speaker 1: maybe maybe have this guy going through the ship with
Speaker 1: his mom and like like set up how difficult his
Speaker 1: life is as he's you know, seventeen eighteen about to
Speaker 1: go into college and then like his coach sees him
Speaker 1: stressed out and he's like, hey, man, don't worry like
Speaker 1: their scouts out there, You're so good. This is gonna
Speaker 1: set you up for life, like you're you're you know,
Speaker 1: you're going to move through this. All your hard work
Speaker 1: is going to pay off. And then we have the
Speaker 1: scene where he actually injures himself, and then maybe there's
Speaker 1: like at least some kind of emotional connection. Maybe maybe
Speaker 1: maybe you established the suffering and make him hope for
Speaker 1: this moment before it falls apart, right, and like even
Speaker 1: like describe like him playing football when he's not big
Speaker 1: and burly and like he just really wants to, like
Speaker 1: he loves he loves the game, you know, and then
Speaker 1: it finally gets to play it and describe that feeling.
Speaker 1: The title of this series should be editing Ben Shapiro's
Speaker 1: book for him. Oh my god, it's a task, but
Speaker 1: somebody needed to do it. Also, actually, now that I
Speaker 1: look at it, the very first paragraph is also intended weird. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and the second one. I just mean, you guys are
Speaker 1: pitching great notes, great feedback. It's just like you might
Speaker 1: make this a story. Feedback to Ben would be write
Speaker 1: a story. Yeah, Like if you're like, if you want
Speaker 1: to write a short story. I would recommend that you
Speaker 1: write a short story, um as a list of sad
Speaker 1: things that has a list of sad things with a
Speaker 1: lesson that he wants people to gain from. I'm sure
Speaker 1: we're building to it. We're getting there. I mean, I know,
Speaker 1: I know from the title in the first fair Yeah,
Speaker 1: fairness is bad. What I get it? Sucking Ben, But
Speaker 1: like it's it's written like a parable. It would be
Speaker 1: something where he has to take something for himself because
Speaker 1: he stopped being fair. He's been fair as a life
Speaker 1: or some ship. Let's get yeah, like, yeah, we're gonna
Speaker 1: learn that fairness. I'm excited to get their cody. But
Speaker 1: the important thing is I came home Comma quit state period.
Speaker 1: I was there for football anyway, not for my studies.
Speaker 1: When the football went, so did my shot at the
Speaker 1: big time? Well yeah, the big time was the football?
Speaker 1: Like what sorry, yeah, okay, fine, bad sentence. We're moving on.
Speaker 1: And was like a saint. She took care of mom
Speaker 1: and me and she made sure we got what we needed.
Speaker 1: Jim would farm and he'd got right and he'd come
Speaker 1: back at night. No, I don't even mean it like that,
Speaker 1: Just like anyway, go ahead, the caretaker. Yeah she was.
Speaker 1: She filled her role katie you see. Um, and he'd
Speaker 1: come back at night and would have dinner already for him.
Speaker 1: There we go exactly. Uh. Pretty soon I was able
Speaker 1: to get around on my own. I'd never be able
Speaker 1: to run fast again, but I could at least help out.
Speaker 1: Jim used me mostly for field work, and he handled
Speaker 1: the sales and the accounting and the marketing or whatever
Speaker 1: the hell else need to be handled. Wait, that's weird.
Speaker 1: Why wouldn't Jim do that because you're injured? Whatever. I
Speaker 1: thought it was pretty cush of him to sit there. Okay,
Speaker 1: here we go. I probably I thought it was pretty
Speaker 1: cush of him to sit there in the air conditioned
Speaker 1: office and make the decisions while I sweated. Mm hmmm yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: yeah again. Another piece of advice would be learned how
Speaker 1: to use the words that just like the words also
Speaker 1: like it's it's one of those things where like you know,
Speaker 1: if you like uh center, like if you align the
Speaker 1: text so it's like lined up on the left and
Speaker 1: the right and it sort of spreads out the words.
Speaker 1: Sometimes it'll it'll split words and have a dash by
Speaker 1: the line, so like this is sweat dash new line ed,
Speaker 1: which is like, it's like really highlighting that it's the
Speaker 1: wrong word anyway, uh, and make the decisions while I sweat.
Speaker 1: But there wasn't much I could do to complain. He'd
Speaker 1: been to college, he knew his stuff. We got along
Speaker 1: like that for a few years. Things hummed along, or
Speaker 1: I guess mosy along is more like it. Same thing.
Speaker 1: There is the thing that he does that he doesn't
Speaker 1: seem to care about, and I try to remind I
Speaker 1: give people a pass if it happened sometimes, but he
Speaker 1: doesn't all the time. Writer right every so often in
Speaker 1: a book that's beautifully written, it's unavoidable. And you see
Speaker 1: a word twice really nearby. These important absolutely so important
Speaker 1: to me. When I write a couple of sentences, like,
Speaker 1: I do a pass specifically to make sure there's no repetition.
Speaker 1: I'm embarrassed for him that it's like, yeah, it's the same.
Speaker 1: It's reading somebody's rough draft, but it's reading a ninth No.
Speaker 1: When I was a ninth grader, I wrote better fiction
Speaker 1: than this. It wasn't good, but it was better than this. Sure,
Speaker 1: but like an average ninth grader maybe no, you're right,
Speaker 1: I think an average ninth grader. I remember like the
Speaker 1: cartoons and ship my friends would draw, and they all
Speaker 1: had better grip of story structure than this. No, this
Speaker 1: is like sixth grade, fifth grade ship. Yeah, things hummed along,
Speaker 1: mosey along, it's more like it. Because those different those
Speaker 1: those different folksier Cody Mosey is what rural that much folong? No, no, no,
Speaker 1: But I also hate the conceit of um the same thing,
Speaker 1: like in a tweet or anything when someone goes like
Speaker 1: corrects themselves and then keeps it. Do you know what
Speaker 1: I mean? That concept that structure of like things hummed along? Well,
Speaker 1: I guess mosey along is more like it. Edit it.
Speaker 1: It makes mosy to long? Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: That's like again trying to be cute. See, it's a
Speaker 1: tactic that I'm always like out of here with that.
Speaker 1: If you're trying to make it feel like authentically you know,
Speaker 1: rule and down home. UM don't have the character self
Speaker 1: editing his own thoughts to make himself. We're hearing your
Speaker 1: thought process been as a man whose only time outdoors
Speaker 1: has been that one time you couldn't get to a
Speaker 1: rest stop driving off the five and you had to
Speaker 1: pee by the side of the road and you got
Speaker 1: scared because of the wind, like bad. Come on. I
Speaker 1: I used to write these like, uh, spooky short stories. Uh.
Speaker 1: They were like half like there was like gross and
Speaker 1: silly and like kind of terrible on purpose, and the
Speaker 1: narrator was like bad and I would do like comed
Speaker 1: along or I and more like like I guess I
Speaker 1: don't know the word for it actually anyway, and like
Speaker 1: I would do because you're making fun of that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and mosy is the kind of word today you would
Speaker 1: more often here from like I don't know, somebody who
Speaker 1: got rich in the Bay Area and decided to move
Speaker 1: to a town outside of Reading in the middle of
Speaker 1: nowhere in order to feel more authentic cowboy where torn
Speaker 1: good will fucking car hearts but whatever mailed that Robert,
Speaker 1: I'm delighted by this episode so far. Yes, m hm anyway,
Speaker 1: continuing to repeat this again, we got along like that
Speaker 1: for a few years things hummed along or I guess
Speaker 1: mosey along. It is more like it period until Jim
Speaker 1: had his idea period and then we skip a couple
Speaker 1: of lines. It's a new section of time. It struck
Speaker 1: him one day while he was taking don't. You don't
Speaker 1: need to skip this, you can just like it's to
Speaker 1: compete a new paragraph. This is weird, all right. It
Speaker 1: struck him one day while he was taking a look
Speaker 1: at the wheat the wheat crop. That night at dinner,
Speaker 1: we couldn't stop him from running on at the mouth. Okay, okay,
Speaker 1: that's all right. I'm gonna oh, finally a conversation M.
Speaker 1: Like I've been waiting, like showing interaction with between these people,
Speaker 1: like what would what would one person say to the
Speaker 1: other in a room together? We haven't any dialogue, But
Speaker 1: finally some dialogue. M. Tommy, you won't believe this, he said.
Speaker 1: Hold on, Jamie said, M. Mom's drooling. She wiped it
Speaker 1: Mom's mouth while Jim babbled onto her. He never was
Speaker 1: good at listening. The plow is just not aerating the ground, baby. Okay,
Speaker 1: Well now he's sounding like the guy from Chrue Allegiance. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's how. Okay, good Good can take a bullet for you,
Speaker 1: fucking baby, get run over by a tractor for you, baby.
Speaker 1: He whipped out a piece of odd from his pocket. Jimmy,
Speaker 1: take that dirt away from the table, said in his pocket.
Speaker 1: In his pocket okay, because he's so goddamn folksy, he's
Speaker 1: so down home fucking country boy that he keep his
Speaker 1: motherfucking here. Look at how dance it is. Look how
Speaker 1: there isn't any oxygen getting in there. What if there
Speaker 1: was a plow that was even finer about aerating the ground.
Speaker 1: My god, we could feed the entire world with machinery
Speaker 1: like this makes rain cheapest dirt. He's the Tony Stark
Speaker 1: of farms. Yeah. The only issue with everywhere not being
Speaker 1: able to grow all the grain they want is the
Speaker 1: soil is to dents d you gotta make it. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: then the farm nowhere, Ben Shapiro, just like you didn't
Speaker 1: have to do this, man, you could have whatever. I mean,
Speaker 1: I'm sure there are yes. Soil is a makes the
Speaker 1: only i mean, the only specific of farm life that
Speaker 1: we're getting is this conversation about soil aeration. That's obviously bullshit.
Speaker 1: You know, Like, but he started diagramming charts at the table.
Speaker 1: My head was spinning, and I wasn't paying attention, So
Speaker 1: why was your head spinning? Like what? Sorry? If you're
Speaker 1: like it's like you're like, if you're not paying attention,
Speaker 1: then it's not like, oh, my head is spinning, like
Speaker 1: so many things, like no, you're not paying attention, You're
Speaker 1: like blanked out, like whatever, It's fine, Who cares. My
Speaker 1: head was spinning and I wasn't paying attention. I don't
Speaker 1: think m was either. She was wiping it Mom's mouth,
Speaker 1: and I have to admit I couldn't take my eyes
Speaker 1: off of herky. I've never seen Jim so excited. He
Speaker 1: wasn't the excitable type. Different word, man, use a different word. Uh,
Speaker 1: he wasn't the excitable type. You understand, he got straight
Speaker 1: a's through school. That doesn't mean you're not excitable. What
Speaker 1: he was always teacher's pet. That also doesn't mean you're
Speaker 1: not excitable. What. Everybody knew he'd go to college and
Speaker 1: make a name for himself. Like nobody excitable. Ever, and
Speaker 1: Jim knew it too. Ever, since he came back to
Speaker 1: the farm, he'd been in a funk, like farming was
Speaker 1: too low for him, I see, unlike Burbank's own, Ben Shapiro,
Speaker 1: Austin's now right and again, one of the funniest things
Speaker 1: about this is that, like the actual like buying tractors
Speaker 1: is a fucking nightmare right now, because John Deere has
Speaker 1: such domination of the market, and they do all sorts
Speaker 1: of fund up ship to like make it illegal to
Speaker 1: repair your own tractors a good like for example, say
Speaker 1: someone competent like Cory doctor. Would it take on the
Speaker 1: story with aspects of these themes. It would probably be
Speaker 1: about how somebody figured out an incredible way to increase
Speaker 1: crop efficiency and productivity by improving their tractor, and then
Speaker 1: the John Deer Corporation came after them and destroyed their
Speaker 1: life for legally modifying their own piece of equipment. Like again,
Speaker 1: an author with something to say could take elements of
Speaker 1: this and make a story. But this has been so
Speaker 1: I'm gonna guess magically, the fact that the tractor, the
Speaker 1: fact that there's a huge barrier to entry and even
Speaker 1: manufacturing tractors, the fact that John Deere keeps it on
Speaker 1: such like, all this stuff, I'm gonna guess is not
Speaker 1: at all a factor in the stories. Would that be correct, Cody,
Speaker 1: what you're saying being I would say that is correct.
Speaker 1: This yard boy just make a tractor that gets huge.
Speaker 1: Despite what you're describing seeming to me to be a
Speaker 1: bit unfair, Yeah, it does seem I mean it seems
Speaker 1: like you could make a great story called What's Fair
Speaker 1: about You? Maybe his dad raises him with these strong
Speaker 1: energy fairness and they're farming family and aspects of John
Speaker 1: Dear's intellectual property ship fucks them over and sure to
Speaker 1: get Bench Shapiro this episode, I think he's going to
Speaker 1: be really yeah, yeah, anyway, just been I guess my
Speaker 1: other piece of advice, my third piece of advice to
Speaker 1: you this episode is have something to say. Yeah, oh, well,
Speaker 1: get to what he has to say. I shouldn't be
Speaker 1: telling him, just dying to know what is fair? Mhm,
Speaker 1: nothing's fair. Life's not fair, I assume, and shouldn't be,
Speaker 1: is what I assume he is about to say. But farming,
Speaker 1: it's too low for Jim, is what I've gathered. I
Speaker 1: always think that's why he hold up in the office
Speaker 1: and let me do the grunt work. But now he
Speaker 1: was excited again. Wait, he said he wasn't excited. He was,
Speaker 1: and he's not excitable. You said he wasn't excitable and
Speaker 1: that he never liked that, he never liked farming. So
Speaker 1: he's excited about farming again. Two paragraphs earlier quote, I'd
Speaker 1: never seen Jim so excited and then so now here
Speaker 1: we are, but now he was excited again. Great, the
Speaker 1: energy coming off him like the buzz in the air
Speaker 1: after a lightning strike, Unlike anything before, except apparently some
Speaker 1: other time that I'm remembering. He was drawing diagrams and
Speaker 1: he was grabbing him. This is so god like. Delete
Speaker 1: one of those sentences. He was drawing diagrams, and he
Speaker 1: was grabbing him around the waist and singing little songs
Speaker 1: to her. And he was even holding up those drawings
Speaker 1: so Mom could see, even though she wasn't really seeing anything.
Speaker 1: Too many evens in there. Uh. Then he came around
Speaker 1: and gave me a hug around the neck. It was
Speaker 1: the first time he'd hugged me since we were in
Speaker 1: elementary school together. Tommy, he said, we're gonna be rich.
Speaker 1: The productor's name is Tommy. Okay, okay, uh. Moving on
Speaker 1: through time. As much time as he had spent in
Speaker 1: the office, he was now spending it in the barn,
Speaker 1: messing with our mechanical plow. Every time I'd go in there,
Speaker 1: he'd be underneath the thing, a hammer or a wrench
Speaker 1: in his hand, bashing away at the thing, not the thing,
Speaker 1: things tightening something here screwing something there. Yeah, I shouldn't
Speaker 1: have called it the thing twice in a row, real
Speaker 1: close together. It's just and like it's just awkward. Every
Speaker 1: time I'd go in there, he'd be underneath the thing,
Speaker 1: a hammer, a wrench in hand, bashing away. It's the
Speaker 1: thing awful, it really, it's like nails on a chalkboard.
Speaker 1: To me, I don't interject every time it happens, but
Speaker 1: it's like something twinges in my spine. Not again. The
Speaker 1: finances went to the dogs. Okay. One time I signed
Speaker 1: a check at the grocery and we were overdrawn. Another time, wait,
Speaker 1: you can't overdraw the check? Bub how did you know? Yeah?
Speaker 1: All right. Another time, I mean maybe they can, maybe
Speaker 1: there's something, but go on. Another time the mortgage man
Speaker 1: came down the road, fucking kidding me. Another time, that's
Speaker 1: like that's our version of tax man or whatever. Another
Speaker 1: time the mortgage man came down the road and asked
Speaker 1: if we needed more time on the payment. We didn't.
Speaker 1: Jim had just forgotten to pay him. Even m was
Speaker 1: getting worried about his absent mindedness. And with Jim out
Speaker 1: of control, everything's fun. Out of control. Oh fuck, that's
Speaker 1: good that's just good clean fun. Cody, That's that's just
Speaker 1: good clean fun. That's we no notes on that clean. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Well let's splut this into a part two. Yeah, we
Speaker 1: can do part two. We can continue this on into
Speaker 1: the fucking new year. Um. I would do this the
Speaker 1: rest of my life because I mean, be careful. That's
Speaker 1: how we get ourselves into another new show. Like, let's
Speaker 1: not say anything. We can't take good Katie can't. We're like,
Speaker 1: we're good at it. And then let's just do it
Speaker 1: every day and the souls are dead. Um, there's not
Speaker 1: like a good like time jump coming up for another
Speaker 1: couple of pages. Um, although we stop it here. Uh, honestly,
Speaker 1: we can stop it. Uh yeah, and with gim out
Speaker 1: of control, it seems like a good stopping spot. Agree,
Speaker 1: you guys are yeah everything yeah, don't with everything out
Speaker 1: of control on this podcast, don't let yourself spin out
Speaker 1: of control until next time when this is though. What
Speaker 1: an amazing writer. Yeah, this is a Christmas holiday miracle,
Speaker 1: a miracle we tease something fun for you guys, and
Speaker 1: this is this is what you've you've you deserved this
Speaker 1: after the year. This is like it's like either a
Speaker 1: compliment or a threat like yeah, I don't know which
Speaker 1: all is fair. Maybe we deserve this, you deserve this. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I can imagine us like patting a patting an exhausted
Speaker 1: nurse on the shoulder and saying you deserve this, and
Speaker 1: also staring at like an n f T brow and
Speaker 1: going you deserve this. You and your ape show UM,
Speaker 1: so yeah, I think um with gmatic control. Everything's when
Speaker 1: I control. And we'll be back, uh next time to
Speaker 1: find out the rest of this paragraph. And I can't wait.
Speaker 1: Oh everything, so everything, So I tried. Worst Year Ever
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