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Speaker 1: Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio. Jack

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Speaker 1: Smith is ready to indict Trump on between thirty and

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Speaker 1: forty five more counts, and he is preparing to indict

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Speaker 1: several of Trump's lawyers from the fake elector's scheme, and

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Speaker 1: one of them is despite his voluntary interview and proffer

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Speaker 1: to turn on everybody else in a bid to win

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Speaker 1: Citizen of the Week award Rudy Giuliani. That is all

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Speaker 1: from the British newspaper that correctly nailed the Miami indictments

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Speaker 1: two days before they were finally handed up. CNN ads

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Speaker 1: at the main Trump campaign official in charge of the

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Speaker 1: fake electors will cut an immunity deal and will testify

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Speaker 1: for the special prosecutor. But the headlines run up the

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Speaker 1: score on Trump to as many as seventy nine counts

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Speaker 1: and making America's mayor into America's co defendant. They are

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Speaker 1: coming from Andrew Feinberg in The Independent. Again. Feinberg writes

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Speaker 1: that the DOJ quote is prepared to seek indictments against

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Speaker 1: multiple figures in Trump's orbit, and may yet bring additional

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Speaker 1: charges against the ex president in the coming weeks, although

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Speaker 1: its sources are not clear, if those charges would come

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Speaker 1: in a superseding indictment in Florida, or they might be

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Speaker 1: filed in a different jurisdiction. And we have already discussed

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Speaker 1: the possibility of Trump being indicted in New Jersey for

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Speaker 1: the Trump confession tape, plus all the crimes still on

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Speaker 1: the table in DC. There is one intriguing new twist

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Speaker 1: to the seemingly trivial question of where to indict Trump next.

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Speaker 1: It will quoting the story depend in part on whether

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Speaker 1: they feel the Trump appointed district judge overseeing the case

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Speaker 1: again against him in the Southern District of Florida, Eileen

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Speaker 1: Cannon is giving undue deference to Trump. As to the

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Speaker 1: hapless Rudy Giuliani, Finberg source says that despite the ex

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Speaker 1: mayor's profer offered to prosecutors, Rudy will quote most definitely

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Speaker 1: face at least some charges from Jack Smith's office dating

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Speaker 1: to his actions in the interval between the election and

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Speaker 1: January sixth. No other specifics and no names of other

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Speaker 1: lawyers to be indicted mentioned, but we know from Wednesday's

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Speaker 1: reporting that Giuliani was asked about Jeff can I put

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Speaker 1: my pants on Clark and John Eastman and Boris Epstein

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Speaker 1: and Sidney Powell, Jenna Ellis and Jack Wallenchik were mentioned

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Speaker 1: in different contexts. It would be the CNN scoop that

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Speaker 1: would presumably explain the independent scoop. CNN's story is that

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Speaker 1: Mike Roman, who was in essence the desk officer inside

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Speaker 1: the Trump campaign responsible for coordinate all the fake electors,

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Speaker 1: and whom The New York Times reported a week ago

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Speaker 1: had been offered his own limited immunity deal in exchange

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Speaker 1: for his testimony against the others, has accepted that immunity deal.

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Speaker 1: Jack Smith's people, in fact, are apparently jonesing so big

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Speaker 1: time for Roman's info, to the degree that CNN says

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Speaker 1: Roman may not even have to go before the grand jury.

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Speaker 1: He may talk instead directly to the prosecutors, and only

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Speaker 1: the prosecutors, in an interview format. So what is next

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Speaker 1: in this world in which we struggle out of one

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Speaker 1: nightmare only to realize we have merely awakened into a

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Speaker 1: different nightmare? How about this? Trump showed that secret map

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Speaker 1: to the co chair of a lobbying firm which has

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Speaker 1: taken millions from at least three Chinese tech firms closely

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Speaker 1: linked to the Chinese government, the I should not be

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Speaker 1: showing the map map, so don't get too map. Wednesday night,

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Speaker 1: ABC News identified the person Trump showed that classified map

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Speaker 1: to as Susie Wiles, a Trump advisor and Trump campaign

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Speaker 1: official and his potential twenty twenty four campaign chair. Last night,

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Speaker 1: The New York Post of all news outlets, identified Susie

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Speaker 1: Wiles as the co chairman of Mercury Public Affairs, a

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Speaker 1: lobbying mouthpiece for at least three really bad, really dangerous

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Speaker 1: Chinese firms, including Ali Baba, the online retailer and web

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Speaker 1: services company that is actually partially owned by the Chinese government,

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Speaker 1: in which the Post says, Susie Wiles's company, Mercury, is

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Speaker 1: still receiving payments from So Trump was explaining a military

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Speaker 1: operation to a Political Action Committee representative. He said it

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Speaker 1: was not going well, and to clarify, he showed this

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Speaker 1: Wiles a classified map of a foreign nation, a map

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Speaker 1: he had stolen. And she is co chairperson of a

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Speaker 1: company that receives money that the Chinese government washes through

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Speaker 1: Ali Baba. And it gets worse. The New York Post

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Speaker 1: also reported Wiles's company lobbied for Hick Vision was paid

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Speaker 1: more than a million, seven hundred thousand dollars just last year,

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Speaker 1: and Hick Vision makes the video surveillance equipment that the

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Speaker 1: Chinese government quote used to locate and detain Wiger Muslims

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Speaker 1: in Xinjiang Province, and the co chair of their US

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Speaker 1: lobbying firm was shown a classified map of another country

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Speaker 1: by Trump. Posts make sure to emphasize that all government

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Speaker 1: records show that Susie Wiles herself did not personally lobby

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Speaker 1: for these Chinese firms, which would have a little more

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Speaker 1: meaning and which would be a little bit more reassuring

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Speaker 1: if you know, she wasn't co chair of the company

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Speaker 1: that did love before them, And we could not collectively

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Speaker 1: have imagined a worse person for Trump to show that

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Speaker 1: map too, or show anything he stole to Because there's

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Speaker 1: even more. Somehow, Susie Wiles's company serviced yet a third

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Speaker 1: nightmarish Chinese outfit, and it only severed its relationship with

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Speaker 1: that company last month. This one is a telecommunications firm

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Speaker 1: called Yaylink, and two years ago Senator Van Holland of

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Speaker 1: Maryland wrote to Commerce Secretary Ramundo to report a security

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Speaker 1: analytic company it found. Yaylink phones include software that could

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Speaker 1: secretly record calls and secretly track the web browsing done

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Speaker 1: on local networks, and secretly transfer all of that private

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Speaker 1: information back to Yaylink headquarters in China, as The New

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Speaker 1: York Post noted, China, where companies must comply with any

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Speaker 1: government requests to hand over information really to national security

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Speaker 1: and when in August or September twenty twenty one, Trump

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Speaker 1: showed Susie Wiles a classified American military map of a

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Speaker 1: country where it was not going well, and the immediate

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Speaker 1: speculation was that was a map of Afghanistan. She was

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Speaker 1: the boss of the lobbying company for one Chinese company

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Speaker 1: co owned by the Chinese government, another Chinese company that

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Speaker 1: supplies the Chinese government with video location equipment it uses

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Speaker 1: to round up minorities, and a third Chinese company that

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Speaker 1: makes a tool with which the Chinese government can spy

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Speaker 1: on ordinary citizens anywhere in the world, including in this country.

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Speaker 1: Because if you order now, you can have a Ylink

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Speaker 1: phone on your desk by next Monday. It is mind boggling,

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Speaker 1: and not just because of how wantonly Trump compromised American

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Speaker 1: security to a person who runs a company lobbying the

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Speaker 1: US government on behalf of three outlets that are directly

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Speaker 1: utilized by the Chinese government. And it's mind boggling not

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Speaker 1: just because this security breach was revealed by a Murdoch paper.

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Speaker 1: It's mind boggling because one of the tenets of Trump's

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Speaker 1: undermining of our society has been his continual stoking of

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Speaker 1: anti Asian sentiment and fear and violence, and his attempt

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Speaker 1: to brand anybody who disagrees with him as an agent

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Speaker 1: of the Chinese government. Except he's showing a classified map

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Speaker 1: he stole to somebody who comes infuriatingly close to that

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Speaker 1: exact description of agent of the Chinese government. And ultimately,

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Speaker 1: it is mind boggling because of this, Even if Trump

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Speaker 1: had some sort of right to show her that map,

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Speaker 1: or even if he had never shown her any classified materials.

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Speaker 1: What the hell is Susie Wiles, riddled with connections at

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Speaker 1: one remove through the Chinese government doing near the top

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Speaker 1: of the twenty sixteen campaign of the eventual president of

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Speaker 1: the United States. What is she doing now as a

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Speaker 1: de facto leader of his twenty twenty four campaign, and

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Speaker 1: what is she doing as his prospective campaign manager? We

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Speaker 1: have crushed the concept of the Manchurian candidate into the

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Speaker 1: ground from over use. Here instead, we have the Manchurian

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Speaker 1: campaign manager, and if you'd like it all ratcheted up

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Speaker 1: one more notch. Still, the New York Post is happy

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Speaker 1: to oblige. Quote. Susie could put Trump away for years.

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Speaker 1: In just one minute of testimony to Jack Smith, a

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Speaker 1: rival GOP operative told the Post, She's got Trump by

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Speaker 1: the balls, which means she can name her price for

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Speaker 1: her loyalty and Trump can't say no. Unquote. Who the

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Speaker 1: hell knows where that comes from. The Post does not

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Speaker 1: explain it's the Post, but it just adds to yet

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Speaker 1: one more confirmation that however bad you think it is

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Speaker 1: with Trump, it is always worse, which would describe the

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Speaker 1: arrest of a man named Taylor Toronto yesterday. He was

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Speaker 1: picked up near the home of President Barack Obama. Taylor

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Speaker 1: Toronto is a January sixth participant who has been advertising

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Speaker 1: that he's been living in a van near the DC

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Speaker 1: Jailhouse in some sort of twisted solidarity with the other insurrectionists. Trump,

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Speaker 1: of course, recently posted a screenshot showing what was purportedly

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Speaker 1: the address of President Obama. Toronto reposted it, adding quote

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Speaker 1: got them surrounded unquote in short dementia. J Trump doxed

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Speaker 1: the Obamas when Jack Smith hits him with those additional

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Speaker 1: dozens of counts reported by The Independent. This time, I

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Speaker 1: want this scumbag denied bail. The other story you know

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Speaker 1: about the Supreme Court overturned affirmative action in at least

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Speaker 1: elite universities. There are some mitigating factors that understandably are

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Speaker 1: not the top part of this story. The ruling is

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Speaker 1: in large part limited to the biggest schools. One analysis

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Speaker 1: of acceptance rates at one three hundred and sixty four

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Speaker 1: four year American colleges and universities showed that the number

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Speaker 1: of them that admit fewer than ten percent of all

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Speaker 1: applicants is seventeen out of one thousand, three hundred and

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Speaker 1: sixty four. The total that admitted fewer than twenty percent

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Speaker 1: forty six. Most American students get to go where they

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Speaker 1: want to go, and the idea of voice by the

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Speaker 1: John Roberts opinion and emphasized by President Biden that any

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Speaker 1: applicant anywhere can go around the band by devoting part

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Speaker 1: of their application essay to their personal experience with race

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Speaker 1: and racism. It is an alternative, though is hardly a

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Speaker 1: happy one. As Tony Morrison pointed out, the very serious

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Speaker 1: function of racism is distraction. It keeps you from doing

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Speaker 1: your work, It keeps you explaining over and over again

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Speaker 1: your reason for being distraction. This solution sounds like the

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Speaker 1: old don't ask, don't tell in the military. Seventeen year

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Speaker 1: old kids now have to jerry rig a method to

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Speaker 1: correct the imbalance in this country so ingrained and so

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Speaker 1: pervasive that forty five years ago this month, when I

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Speaker 1: started my internship at a New York City television station,

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Speaker 1: it never occurred to me, not once, that I had

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Speaker 1: any kind of advantage, let alone a racial advantage, by

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Speaker 1: the simple fact that my parents had enough money that

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Speaker 1: I could take the internship and didn't have to spend

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Speaker 1: those hours working, even though my own father had to

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Speaker 1: turn down a college scholarship because his parents didn't have

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Speaker 1: enough money and he did have to spend those hours working.

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Speaker 1: It looked brief like there would be another silver lining

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Speaker 1: to this when President Biden spoke to the nation after

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Speaker 1: the ruling, and particularly with his answer to the one

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Speaker 1: question that was shouted at him after his remarks, and

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Speaker 1: the person said, the Supreme Court has proligiate questions on legitacy.

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Speaker 1: Is this a rogue court? He is not. It is

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Speaker 1: not a normal court. There is a solution to that.

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Speaker 1: Within the hour, President Biden was asked about that solution,

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Speaker 1: and he dropped the ball. Quote, if we start the

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Speaker 1: process of trying to expand the court, we're going to

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Speaker 1: politicize it, maybe forever in a way that is not

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Speaker 1: healthy that you can't get back. Mister President. The Court

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Speaker 1: is utterly and irredeemably politicized. Now. It is not healthy.

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Speaker 1: Now it has reached forever corrupt levels. Now, its reputation

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Speaker 1: cannot be gotten back. Now you either have to expand

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Speaker 1: it or remove it. God damn. Biden was so close.

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Speaker 1: But moreover and sitting over this like a vampire cloud

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Speaker 1: is the simple hypocrisy of people like Clarence Thomas, and

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Speaker 1: a parable that did dawn on me in my youth,

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Speaker 1: even if my accidental privilege did not dawn on me.

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Speaker 1: Then it is the parable of the lifeboat. And probably

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Speaker 1: for forty years, I have believed that America and probably

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Speaker 1: all of mankind divides into just two groups. In essence,

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Speaker 1: you are a passenger on a liner at sea, and

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Speaker 1: you are hundreds of miles from land, and the boat

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Speaker 1: suddenly sinks. There are explosions, at horrors and death, and

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Speaker 1: suddenly you're underwater. And then just as suddenly you bobb

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Speaker 1: to the surface, and incredibly next to you, not only

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Speaker 1: are you alive, but they're floating. Is a perfectly undamaged lifeboat.

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Speaker 1: It is huge, There are ores, there are provisions. You

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Speaker 1: pull yourself onto it with surprising ease, and then and

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Speaker 1: there you must join one of the two and only

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Speaker 1: two groups in the world. If you are in the

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Speaker 1: first group, your mind crowds with calculations. How many people

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Speaker 1: can I fit into this boat with me? Should they

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Speaker 1: all be women and children? Or do I need to

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Speaker 1: make sure there's several big men in here too so

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Speaker 1: they can help me row the damn thing? Should I need?

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Speaker 1: Do I have to get a crew member because I

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Speaker 1: need somebody with experience on the sea? How long will

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Speaker 1: all that food last? Could we make it last longer

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Speaker 1: than it should if we skipped a day here and there?

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Speaker 1: Those are the thoughts in one group, the thoughts in

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Speaker 1: the other group. Look, my boat is here, and I

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Speaker 1: have all this room to myself, and look at all

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Speaker 1: of my food, And best of all, I have these

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Speaker 1: great big oars, so I can kill anybody who tries

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Speaker 1: to climb out of the water and get into my boat.

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Speaker 1: Clarence Thomas is a member of that second group. It's

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Speaker 1: his effing boat. Of course, affirmative action must be ended.

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Speaker 1: What the hell do you think those oars are for.

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Speaker 1: I'm messing around with the format today, So now time

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Speaker 1: for the daily round up of the miscreants, morons and

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Speaker 1: dunning Krueger effects specimens who constitute today's worst person in

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Speaker 1: the world. The runner up, the British Prime Minister, Rishi Sunak.

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Speaker 1: Prime Minister took a photograph with another Conservative member of

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Speaker 1: the British Parliament, Daniel Kazinsky, who promptly posted the photo.

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Speaker 1: The Prime Minister is five feet seven inches tall, mister

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Speaker 1: Kazinski is six feet nine If you have not seen

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Speaker 1: this photo, a go and look at it. B It

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Speaker 1: looks like a publicity still for a ventriloquist to act.

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Speaker 1: That's not hyperbole, that's what it looks like. The runners

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Speaker 1: up the fine folks at Fox quote news unquote. They

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Speaker 1: responded to the report that the President uses a CPAP

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Speaker 1: machine for sleep apnea by mocking his illness. Laura Ingram

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Speaker 1: suggested it's quote a scam, and it's a way to

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Speaker 1: say no, he's not mentally impaired. He just needs to

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Speaker 1: get a good night's sleep. That's Laura Ingram and I'm

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Speaker 1: guessing therefore that her alcoholism she wants had twenty drinks

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Speaker 1: in my presence in one night on a date. I

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Speaker 1: guess that wasn't a real thing either, and that was

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Speaker 1: just her covering up her mental impairment. The anchors of

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Speaker 1: Foxes the five, which is named because it is the

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Speaker 1: collective IQ of the hosts, were also subhuman on the illness.

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Speaker 1: The guy is clueless, said Janine Piro, who once held

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Speaker 1: up her own press conference at which she announced she

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Speaker 1: was running for senator from New York for a measured

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Speaker 1: thirty two seconds because she had lost page ten of

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Speaker 1: her speech, and she asked everybody in the room if

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Speaker 1: they had seen page ten of her speech. Buzzy can't

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Speaker 1: breathe half the time. Just for the record, here are

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Speaker 1: the methods four of the five five hosts with the

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Speaker 1: five total IQ used to get to sleep. Jesse Waters Chucker,

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Speaker 1: Carlson's replacement who just lost Carlson's audience by appearing at

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Speaker 1: a Ron DeSantis event on Thursday. He just hits himself

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Speaker 1: in the head with a ballpeen hammer that works. Greg Gut.

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Speaker 1: Greg Gutt keeps tilting his head over until it exceeds

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Speaker 1: the ninety degree level and then it falls off. Dana Perino, Well,

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Speaker 1: no brain, no pain, Piero ripple, but our winner New

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Speaker 1: York City Mayor Eric Adams. You know Eric Adams. Last

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Speaker 1: summer he said, I thank God I'm the mayor right now.

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Speaker 1: And last spring he said there is no way God

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Speaker 1: created me for this moment if he did not believe

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Speaker 1: this was my moment. I'll read that one again. It's

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Speaker 1: a wonderful tautology. There is no way God created me

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Speaker 1: for this moment if he did not believe this was

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Speaker 1: my moment. Well, Mayor Adams has actually topped both of

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Speaker 1: those inane, unbalanced sounding remarks. At a town hall in

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Speaker 1: Washington Heights Wednesday night, a long time rent control activist

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Speaker 1: went off on Mayor Adams for not fulfilling promises he

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Speaker 1: made to support specific rent control guidelines, possibly because Adams

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Speaker 1: is himself a landlord, and in response to this, Mayor

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Speaker 1: Adams lost his mind. Okay, First, if you're.

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Speaker 2: Going to ask a question, don't point at me, and

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Speaker 2: don't be disrespectful to me. I'm the mayor of this city,

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Speaker 2: and treat me with the respect that would I'm deserved

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Speaker 2: to be treated. I'm speaking to you as an adult.

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Speaker 2: Don't stand in front like you treated someone that's on

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Speaker 2: your plantation that you own. Give me the respect I

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Speaker 2: deserve and engage in the conversation up here in Washington Heights.

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Speaker 2: Treat me with the same level of respect I treat you.

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Speaker 2: So don't be pointing at me, don't be disrespectful to me.

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Speaker 2: Speak with me as an adult, because I'm a grown man.

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Speaker 2: I walked into this room as a grown man, and

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna walk out of this room as a grown man.

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Speaker 1: I answered your question. That diatribe in which Adams compared

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Speaker 1: the rent control advocate to a slave owner was directed

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Speaker 1: at an eighty four year old woman named Jeanie Dubnow,

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Speaker 1: who has spent five decades pushing to help New Yorkers

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Speaker 1: of all races and ethnicities to be able to live

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Speaker 1: here despite the exorbitant rents. She's also a microbiologist at

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Speaker 1: Rutgers University, and she is a Holocaust survivor. Her parents

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Speaker 1: fled Germany, then they fled Belgium, then they fled France

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Speaker 1: and came here. Mayor Adams, trying to get back at her,

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Speaker 1: went immediately to the race card to attack her in public.

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Speaker 1: Mayor Adams is an embarrassment to this city. He is

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Speaker 1: an embarrassment to the Democratic Party. He is an embarrassment

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Speaker 1: to New York and worst of all, after his last

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Speaker 1: two years of petulant, self absorbed, idiotic behavior, when he

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Speaker 1: shouts at an eighty four year old woman, I'm a

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Speaker 1: grown man, my first response is, exactly what evidence do

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Speaker 1: you have for that statement, sir? Because you have behaved

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Speaker 1: consists like an unloved child. Mayor Eric Adams of New

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Speaker 1: York he won't do this, of course, but he should

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Speaker 1: resign his office. This city deserves better, and almost anybody

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Speaker 1: would be better. Eric Adams, Today's worst person in the world.

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Speaker 1: Also of note here, if you have not heard, we

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Speaker 1: have begun a YouTube edition of this podcast. It features

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Speaker 1: what is frankly an adorable animated little ko and some

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Speaker 1: spectacular oscillator graphics, and the soundtrack is the podcast. It's

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Speaker 1: just the podcast with some video attached to it. But

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Speaker 1: if you prefer to watch me, read these scripts except

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Speaker 1: not really because that's animated me rather than just listening

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Speaker 1: to me read the scripts. It's available now starting each

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Speaker 1: weekday at eight am Eastern. We started the YouTube edition

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Speaker 1: last Monday, just in time to bring in the monthly

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Speaker 1: total of downloads and full video views of this series

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Speaker 1: to approximately one million, seven hundred thousand for the month

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Speaker 1: of June. It was just January when we were celebrating

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Speaker 1: crossing for the first time the download milestone of one million.

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Speaker 1: So one million, seven hundred thousand is more. I thank

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Speaker 1: you kindly again. Tell the others. Speaking of last January,

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Speaker 1: it turns out the last time I took three consecutive

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Speaker 1: days off was the Christmas New Year's holiday. So I'm

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Speaker 1: going to go sit down before I fall down. This

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Speaker 1: is the two hundred and thirty ninth episode of this

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Speaker 1: podcast since it debuted last August. First, that too is more.

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Speaker 1: I'm going to take off next Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday

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Speaker 1: and schedule the next countdown for Thursday, July fifth. Have

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Speaker 1: a happy Fireworks Day. As always, if there is a bulletin,

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Speaker 1: there will be a bulletin edition. I mean, what could

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Speaker 1: possibly break between now and then? What was Trump showing

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Speaker 1: classified maps to a lobbyist for China and Jack Smith

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Speaker 1: readying forty five more counts against Trump. I mean, what

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Speaker 1: could possibly happen? I'm sure I'll get my three days

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Speaker 1: off this time. As to the rest of this edition

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Speaker 1: of Countdown, I'm mailing it in Things I promised not

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Speaker 1: to tell is about the day Joe Biden took me

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Speaker 1: to lunch to ask my advice about public speaking. And

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Speaker 1: it is still Fridays with Thurber. So let me again

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Speaker 1: read you his most harrowing story, the one that is

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Speaker 1: basically about Trump, even though he wrote it in nineteen

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Speaker 1: thirty one, fifteen years before the world was blighted by

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Speaker 1: Trump's birth. Hey, look, I'm following textbook both sides ism.

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Speaker 1: A Biden story means I also have to have a

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Speaker 1: Trump story. That's next. This is Countdown, you know, this

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Speaker 1: is Countdown with you know Keith Olberman. Early in two

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Speaker 1: thousand and seven, my phone rang at MSNBC headquarters in

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Speaker 1: New Jersey. The Senator would like to take you to

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Speaker 1: lunch the next time he's in New York. He needs

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Speaker 1: your advice. Would you be interested? It was Joe Biden's

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Speaker 1: press guy. My first reaction was to ask if they

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Speaker 1: had called the wrong number. My next reaction was to

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Speaker 1: make sure this was not some sort of policy question,

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Speaker 1: because as a news anchor and commentator for MSNBC, it

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Speaker 1: did not seem appropriate to offer advice to a candidate

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Speaker 1: for his party's presidential nomination. And doesn't that seem quite

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Speaker 1: right now, Sean Hannity.

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Speaker 2: No.

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Speaker 1: I was told it was more technical, more about communications,

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Speaker 1: no policy, my antique standards satisfied, I said sure, They

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Speaker 1: gave me a couple of dates. They suggested, given his schedule,

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Speaker 1: the best play to eat would be a restaurant in Manhattan.

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Speaker 1: Then it turned out it happened to be about forty

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Speaker 1: five seconds from my home. So the day and hour

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Speaker 1: arrived March twenty seventh, two thousand and seven, and I

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Speaker 1: made it to the restaurant all the way down there,

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Speaker 1: forty five seconds from my home. I sat down, and

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Speaker 1: moments later in came the Senator from Delaware and his

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Speaker 1: pres guy. He had the big welcoming smile and equally

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Speaker 1: big welcoming handshake that you may have seen from back

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Speaker 1: when candidates could still go greet the people in the crowd.

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Speaker 1: He reminded me that we had met briefly when he

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Speaker 1: was in Los Angeles for the two thousand Democratic Convention,

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Speaker 1: and happened to be staying in the hotel there in

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Speaker 1: which I lived. Senator Biden then said some nice things

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Speaker 1: about my days in sports, and particularly about the commentaries

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Speaker 1: I had begun to do the previous summer on MSNBC.

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Speaker 1: Those special comments, he said, with first a smile and

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Speaker 1: then a whistle. There was, then and there remains now,

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Speaker 1: almost no space between the public Joe Biden of the

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Speaker 1: campaign or the presidency and the guy who taught informally

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Speaker 1: to some knucklehead off the streets, which in this story

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Speaker 1: is me. The word malarkey was used during our lunch,

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Speaker 1: and I remember that particularly because, as I told him,

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Speaker 1: I went to grammar school with a kid named Malarkey.

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Speaker 1: And he was delighted by that. He said, he assumed

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Speaker 1: we gave the fellow a hard time, and I said, yeah,

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Speaker 1: but not because of his name. None of us third

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Speaker 1: graders knew what malarkey meant. Why'd you give him a

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Speaker 1: hard time? Then Biden asked, it was the third grade.

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Speaker 1: I said, everybody gave everybody a hard time. He liked

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Speaker 1: that answer. But back to the point of the lunch.

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Speaker 1: Your language in these special comments, he said, in those days,

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Speaker 1: people often brought up my language. See I used to

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Speaker 1: tell President Bush to shut the hell up, only because

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Speaker 1: they wouldn't let me use the other word. And some

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Speaker 1: of the events of that presidency so infuriated me that

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Speaker 1: I would actually Redden on camera, and I don't Redden

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Speaker 1: in a sauna. Once my high school history teacher, a distinguished,

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Speaker 1: an elegant man whose nine older siblings had been born

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Speaker 1: he Vienna, and who had the courtliness which that implies,

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Speaker 1: mentioned the language of the special comments, and I thought

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Speaker 1: I was in for it. He Walter Schneller, told me

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Speaker 1: on the day I had graduated that my plans to

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Speaker 1: be a sportscaster were very nice, and he was sure

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Speaker 1: I would go and do that, but that he was

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Speaker 1: also sure that I would wind up in politics someday,

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Speaker 1: either as reporter or combatant. And I told him I

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Speaker 1: was flattered, but he was crazy. Mister Schneller was the

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Speaker 1: one who, years later was put in charge of the

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Speaker 1: school's surprisingly generous fund for bringing in speakers to address

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00:28:39,355 --> 00:28:42,075
Speaker 1: the student body, and he was very annoyed by the

430
00:28:42,075 --> 00:28:44,875
Speaker 1: fact that for decades all of the speakers had either

431
00:28:45,075 --> 00:28:49,595
Speaker 1: looked like Hugh side the columnist for Time Magazine, or

432
00:28:49,635 --> 00:28:53,115
Speaker 1: they had been Hugh Sidey, the columnist for Time Magazine.

433
00:28:53,435 --> 00:28:56,755
Speaker 1: He began scouring the Northeast for anybody smart who might

434
00:28:56,835 --> 00:29:01,195
Speaker 1: have a diverse background, and that's how he happened to

435
00:29:01,195 --> 00:29:03,875
Speaker 1: be driving to the railroad station at Tarrytown, New York,

436
00:29:03,915 --> 00:29:06,555
Speaker 1: one morning in nineteen ninety one, to meet the train

437
00:29:06,635 --> 00:29:09,995
Speaker 1: that carried that day's guest speaker, an editor of the

438
00:29:10,035 --> 00:29:14,195
Speaker 1: Harvard Law Review named Barack Obama. His last words to

439
00:29:14,235 --> 00:29:17,435
Speaker 1: Obama were, I'm sure you're going to go very far.

440
00:29:19,115 --> 00:29:21,835
Speaker 1: So mister Schneller and I were talking about the commentaries

441
00:29:22,035 --> 00:29:24,275
Speaker 1: again about two thousand and six or seven, and he

442
00:29:24,355 --> 00:29:31,035
Speaker 1: said about the language, and I braced myself and preamptly apologized, no, no,

443
00:29:31,235 --> 00:29:33,715
Speaker 1: He said, urgently, you miss my point entirely. I am

444
00:29:33,755 --> 00:29:37,915
Speaker 1: amazed that your language is so restrained. If I were speaking,

445
00:29:38,195 --> 00:29:41,795
Speaker 1: I'd have called mister Bush a. And thereupon mister Schneller

446
00:29:41,835 --> 00:29:47,235
Speaker 1: made reference to somebody's mother. So when Joe Biden asked

447
00:29:47,235 --> 00:29:50,195
Speaker 1: about the language I used, I was wary, but he

448
00:29:50,275 --> 00:29:52,555
Speaker 1: followed it by saying that it was kind of why

449
00:29:52,595 --> 00:29:55,795
Speaker 1: he had asked me to lunch. I watched those commentaries

450
00:29:55,835 --> 00:29:58,515
Speaker 1: you do, and people send me the video and my

451
00:29:58,595 --> 00:30:00,995
Speaker 1: staffers tell me about them, and every time I think

452
00:30:01,035 --> 00:30:04,555
Speaker 1: the same thing. Here you are expressing anger, but as

453
00:30:04,675 --> 00:30:06,595
Speaker 1: as close as it comes to the line, you never

454
00:30:06,675 --> 00:30:08,515
Speaker 1: cross it. I say to my staff folks, is he

455
00:30:08,555 --> 00:30:12,475
Speaker 1: too angry for you? And they say no, just right.

456
00:30:12,595 --> 00:30:14,835
Speaker 1: So here's my question, and then we can enjoy this

457
00:30:14,915 --> 00:30:18,075
Speaker 1: great lunch. Here. When I'm passionate about something and I

458
00:30:18,115 --> 00:30:20,355
Speaker 1: speak on the Senate floor or anywhere else, I get

459
00:30:20,355 --> 00:30:23,115
Speaker 1: told by my friends and my enemies, you're too angry.

460
00:30:23,675 --> 00:30:25,835
Speaker 1: And when I really am angry, they all say, you're

461
00:30:25,875 --> 00:30:29,715
Speaker 1: really too angry. And here, Joe Biden laughed. Now you

462
00:30:29,715 --> 00:30:33,435
Speaker 1: you go on TV, far larger audience, far longer speeches,

463
00:30:33,435 --> 00:30:37,595
Speaker 1: and people say that allerman, guy, he's righteously indignant. And now,

464
00:30:37,635 --> 00:30:40,955
Speaker 1: with a mixture of laughter, astonishment and curiosity, he said me,

465
00:30:42,035 --> 00:30:48,155
Speaker 1: I'm angry. You you're righteously indignant. How do you do that?

466
00:30:49,075 --> 00:30:50,715
Speaker 1: How do you do it? Man? Can you tell me?

467
00:30:52,475 --> 00:30:58,395
Speaker 1: Without thinking? I replied, You have been in the Senate

468
00:30:58,515 --> 00:31:02,355
Speaker 1: for how long? Now, Senator thirty four years? He nodded,

469
00:31:03,955 --> 00:31:09,435
Speaker 1: And you're only just asking this question now. The words

470
00:31:09,435 --> 00:31:12,155
Speaker 1: were barely out of my mouth when I froze. This

471
00:31:12,315 --> 00:31:14,435
Speaker 1: was not a friend or a colleague who would take

472
00:31:14,435 --> 00:31:16,835
Speaker 1: the little joking jab I had just thrown in the

473
00:31:17,275 --> 00:31:21,955
Speaker 1: way in which I intended. This was a politician. Politicians

474
00:31:21,955 --> 00:31:24,155
Speaker 1: may have senses of humor, very few have a sense

475
00:31:24,155 --> 00:31:28,235
Speaker 1: of humor about themselves. In that split second, I assume

476
00:31:28,435 --> 00:31:31,995
Speaker 1: Joe Biden might get up and leave. And he was

477
00:31:32,195 --> 00:31:34,715
Speaker 1: silent for a moment, and then the corners of his

478
00:31:34,795 --> 00:31:37,995
Speaker 1: mouth turned up into my great relief, he burst into laughter.

479
00:31:38,395 --> 00:31:41,355
Speaker 1: He rocked back into his chair. He slapped the table

480
00:31:41,395 --> 00:31:44,915
Speaker 1: with a palm. My god, that's funny. More laughter, My God,

481
00:31:44,955 --> 00:31:49,395
Speaker 1: it's true, louder laughter. I don't mind telling you I

482
00:31:49,435 --> 00:31:52,875
Speaker 1: have loved him ever since. I didn't think I had

483
00:31:52,995 --> 00:31:56,355
Speaker 1: much advice for Senator Biden, but as we talked about

484
00:31:56,355 --> 00:31:58,635
Speaker 1: this topic, he asked me follow up questions that made

485
00:31:58,635 --> 00:32:01,475
Speaker 1: me analyze for the first time some of the processes

486
00:32:01,555 --> 00:32:05,195
Speaker 1: I used when writing and reading on television. I'd never

487
00:32:05,275 --> 00:32:07,355
Speaker 1: thought of them before, because I'd never had lunch with

488
00:32:07,435 --> 00:32:10,355
Speaker 1: Joe Biden before. I will not bore you with the

489
00:32:10,395 --> 00:32:13,035
Speaker 1: full results of the dissection of the process of turning

490
00:32:13,195 --> 00:32:16,675
Speaker 1: anger into righteous indignation. The most valuable conclusion was the

491
00:32:16,715 --> 00:32:19,515
Speaker 1: oldest one in the book. I always wrote late at night,

492
00:32:19,555 --> 00:32:21,995
Speaker 1: while fully angry, and then in the morning I would

493
00:32:22,035 --> 00:32:26,315
Speaker 1: take things out of the script, usually the juicier adjectives.

494
00:32:26,995 --> 00:32:30,555
Speaker 1: Whatever anger was left was only the most intense and

495
00:32:30,595 --> 00:32:33,475
Speaker 1: the most justifiable. And if you present it twenty four

496
00:32:33,475 --> 00:32:36,395
Speaker 1: hours after you have written it, you'll be in control

497
00:32:36,475 --> 00:32:39,395
Speaker 1: of the anger. Your anger will not be in control

498
00:32:39,435 --> 00:32:45,635
Speaker 1: of you. Shorter version, sleep on it. I saw the

499
00:32:45,675 --> 00:32:49,555
Speaker 1: senator next in August of two thousand and seven Democratic

500
00:32:49,595 --> 00:32:54,915
Speaker 1: primary debate the AFL CIO Candidates Forum officially Soldier Field, Chicago.

501
00:32:55,075 --> 00:33:00,595
Speaker 1: Who's outdoors ninety five degrees, ninety five percent humidity, threat

502
00:33:00,635 --> 00:33:06,795
Speaker 1: of killer thunderstorms? Obama, Clinton, Biden, Dodd Richardson, Kucinich, Edwards,

503
00:33:06,995 --> 00:33:10,635
Speaker 1: and the moderator me. There are photos of this Joe

504
00:33:10,675 --> 00:33:13,475
Speaker 1: Biden and I walking towards each other, hands extended for

505
00:33:13,475 --> 00:33:16,675
Speaker 1: a greeting, and I remember it clearly. He is literally

506
00:33:16,715 --> 00:33:18,715
Speaker 1: asking me if I've noticed that he's been trying to

507
00:33:18,755 --> 00:33:21,475
Speaker 1: turn his anger into righteous indignation, and he's asking me

508
00:33:21,515 --> 00:33:25,395
Speaker 1: if I thought he'd succeeded. Well. He did not succeed

509
00:33:25,435 --> 00:33:28,995
Speaker 1: in that debate. He actually came over to me during

510
00:33:28,995 --> 00:33:31,235
Speaker 1: the commercial break and told me what he was going

511
00:33:31,355 --> 00:33:33,835
Speaker 1: to do when we came back, and I told him,

512
00:33:33,875 --> 00:33:37,635
Speaker 1: don't do that, and he did it anyway and it

513
00:33:37,675 --> 00:33:39,475
Speaker 1: looked bad, And later he let me know I was

514
00:33:39,555 --> 00:33:42,915
Speaker 1: right and he was wrong. And since then I can't

515
00:33:42,955 --> 00:33:49,195
Speaker 1: recall him being angry, certainly not inappropriately angry, not even

516
00:33:49,235 --> 00:33:54,155
Speaker 1: in those debates with that goddamn madman. His words were harsh,

517
00:33:54,515 --> 00:33:59,035
Speaker 1: the tone was less so perfect a plus, But it

518
00:33:59,075 --> 00:34:02,195
Speaker 1: occurs to me in all the analysis of all the

519
00:34:02,355 --> 00:34:06,475
Speaker 1: changes in Joe Biden since day one in nineteen seventy three,

520
00:34:06,955 --> 00:34:09,995
Speaker 1: or even the vice presidency, nobody touches on this one thing.

521
00:34:10,355 --> 00:34:13,275
Speaker 1: As late as fifteen years ago, he seemed to be

522
00:34:13,715 --> 00:34:16,995
Speaker 1: a hothead. When was the last time he was accused

523
00:34:17,035 --> 00:34:19,755
Speaker 1: of that. I'm not saying I had anything to do

524
00:34:19,835 --> 00:34:24,515
Speaker 1: with that, But two years in and he's not even

525
00:34:24,515 --> 00:34:29,675
Speaker 1: accused of being a hot head. It's an awfully nice change,

526
00:34:29,875 --> 00:34:41,635
Speaker 1: isn't it. To the master the work of James Thurber,

527
00:34:41,915 --> 00:34:45,235
Speaker 1: there is a short film of this story. I don't

528
00:34:45,355 --> 00:34:47,915
Speaker 1: think it really does it justice. I don't think anything

529
00:34:47,955 --> 00:34:52,075
Speaker 1: does it justice. Occasionally, real life does do it justice.

530
00:34:52,235 --> 00:34:55,475
Speaker 1: I've thought, I've seen this story playing out in real

531
00:34:55,595 --> 00:35:00,395
Speaker 1: time in this country almost every day for about seven years.

532
00:35:01,675 --> 00:35:05,715
Speaker 1: Sit back and relax, if rel is the right word

533
00:35:05,755 --> 00:35:11,435
Speaker 1: for it. For the Greatest Man in the World by

534
00:35:11,515 --> 00:35:16,475
Speaker 1: James Thurber. Looking back on it now from the vantage

535
00:35:16,475 --> 00:35:19,275
Speaker 1: point of nineteen forty, one can only marvel that it

536
00:35:19,315 --> 00:35:22,435
Speaker 1: had not happened. Long before it did. The United States

537
00:35:22,475 --> 00:35:27,355
Speaker 1: of America had been ever since Kitty Hawk blindly constructing

538
00:35:27,355 --> 00:35:31,595
Speaker 1: the elaborate petard by which, sooner or later it must

539
00:35:31,875 --> 00:35:35,995
Speaker 1: be hoist. It was inevitable that someday there would come,

540
00:35:36,115 --> 00:35:40,155
Speaker 1: roaring out of the skies a national hero of insufficient intelligence,

541
00:35:40,235 --> 00:35:44,035
Speaker 1: background and character, successfully to endure the mounting orgies of

542
00:35:44,075 --> 00:35:47,475
Speaker 1: glory prepared for aviators who stayed up for a long

543
00:35:47,635 --> 00:35:52,915
Speaker 1: time or flew a great distance. Both Lindbergh and Byrd,

544
00:35:53,235 --> 00:35:57,435
Speaker 1: fortunately for national decorum and international amity, had been gentlemen,

545
00:35:57,955 --> 00:36:02,595
Speaker 1: So had our other famous aviators. They wore their laurels, gracefully,

546
00:36:02,635 --> 00:36:06,235
Speaker 1: withstood the awful weather of publicity, married excellent women, usually

547
00:36:06,355 --> 00:36:10,195
Speaker 1: fine family, and quietly retired to private life and the

548
00:36:10,275 --> 00:36:15,115
Speaker 1: enjoyment of their varying fortunes. No untoward incidents on a

549
00:36:15,155 --> 00:36:18,875
Speaker 1: worldwide scale, marred the perfection of their conduct on the

550
00:36:18,915 --> 00:36:24,435
Speaker 1: perilous heights of fame. The exception to the rule was, however,

551
00:36:25,115 --> 00:36:30,435
Speaker 1: bound to occur, and it did in July nineteen thirty seven,

552
00:36:30,475 --> 00:36:36,315
Speaker 1: when Jack Pal Smirch erstwhile mechanics helper in a small

553
00:36:36,355 --> 00:36:40,835
Speaker 1: garage in Westfield, Iowa, flew a second hand, single motored

554
00:36:41,075 --> 00:36:46,755
Speaker 1: Presthabn Dragonfly three monoplane all the way around the world

555
00:36:46,915 --> 00:36:52,915
Speaker 1: without stopping. Never before in the history of aviation had

556
00:36:52,915 --> 00:36:55,875
Speaker 1: such a flight as Smirches even been dreamed of. No

557
00:36:55,995 --> 00:37:00,275
Speaker 1: one had even taken seriously the weird floating auxiliary gas

558
00:37:00,315 --> 00:37:03,475
Speaker 1: tanks invention of the mad New Hampshire professor of astronomy,

559
00:37:03,595 --> 00:37:07,675
Speaker 1: doctor Charles. It was Gresham upon which Smirch placed full

560
00:37:07,715 --> 00:37:13,915
Speaker 1: reliance When the garage worker, a slightly built, surly unprepossessing

561
00:37:13,915 --> 00:37:16,995
Speaker 1: young man of twenty two, appeared at Roosevelt Field early

562
00:37:17,035 --> 00:37:21,475
Speaker 1: in July nineteen thirty seven, slowly chewing a great quid

563
00:37:21,555 --> 00:37:26,275
Speaker 1: of scrap tobacco, and announced nobody ain't seen no flying yet.

564
00:37:27,195 --> 00:37:31,835
Speaker 1: The newspapers touched briefly and satirically upon his projected twenty

565
00:37:31,875 --> 00:37:37,515
Speaker 1: five thousand mile flight aeronautical and automotive experts dismissed the idea,

566
00:37:37,595 --> 00:37:40,955
Speaker 1: curtly implying that it was a hoax, the publicity stunt.

567
00:37:41,355 --> 00:37:47,475
Speaker 1: The rusty, battered second hand plane wouldn't go, the Gresham

568
00:37:47,595 --> 00:37:57,155
Speaker 1: auxiliary tanks wouldn't work. It was simply a cheap joke smirch. However,

569
00:37:57,395 --> 00:37:59,995
Speaker 1: after calling on a girl in Brooklyn who worked in

570
00:38:00,035 --> 00:38:03,475
Speaker 1: the flap folding department of a large paper box factory,

571
00:38:03,475 --> 00:38:07,075
Speaker 1: a girl whom he laid described as his sweet Bituti,

572
00:38:07,835 --> 00:38:12,635
Speaker 1: climbed nonchalantly into his ridiculous plane at dawn the memorable

573
00:38:12,715 --> 00:38:16,395
Speaker 1: seventh of July nineteen thirty seven, spit a curve of

574
00:38:16,475 --> 00:38:19,995
Speaker 1: tobacco juice into the still air, and took off, carrying

575
00:38:19,995 --> 00:38:23,595
Speaker 1: with him only a gallon of bootleg gin and six

576
00:38:23,875 --> 00:38:29,595
Speaker 1: pounds of salami. When the garage boy thundered out over

577
00:38:29,595 --> 00:38:31,995
Speaker 1: the ocean, the papers were forced to record in all

578
00:38:32,115 --> 00:38:35,955
Speaker 1: seriousness that a mad, unknown young man his name was

579
00:38:36,075 --> 00:38:40,915
Speaker 1: variously misspelled, had actually set out upon a preposterous attempt

580
00:38:40,915 --> 00:38:44,275
Speaker 1: to span the world in a rickety one engine contraption,

581
00:38:44,635 --> 00:38:48,675
Speaker 1: trusting to the long distance refueling device of a crazy schoolmaster.

582
00:38:49,515 --> 00:38:53,315
Speaker 1: When nine days later, without having stopped once the tiny

583
00:38:53,395 --> 00:38:56,915
Speaker 1: plane appeared above San Francisco Bay, headed for New York,

584
00:38:56,995 --> 00:39:00,355
Speaker 1: spluttering and choking, to be sure, but still magnificently and

585
00:39:00,395 --> 00:39:04,635
Speaker 1: miraculously aloft the headlines, which long since had crowded everything

586
00:39:04,675 --> 00:39:07,355
Speaker 1: something else off the front page. Even the shooting of

587
00:39:07,395 --> 00:39:10,835
Speaker 1: the governor of Illinois by the Valetti Gang swelled to

588
00:39:11,035 --> 00:39:14,635
Speaker 1: unprecedented size, and the news stories began to run to

589
00:39:14,715 --> 00:39:21,995
Speaker 1: twenty five and thirty columns. It was noticeable, however, that

590
00:39:22,075 --> 00:39:26,755
Speaker 1: the accounts of the epoch making flight touched rather lightly

591
00:39:26,835 --> 00:39:31,755
Speaker 1: upon the aviator himself. This was not because the facts

592
00:39:31,755 --> 00:39:34,155
Speaker 1: about the hero as a man were too meager, but

593
00:39:34,235 --> 00:39:40,195
Speaker 1: because they were too complete. Reporters who had been rushed

594
00:39:40,235 --> 00:39:43,075
Speaker 1: out to Iowa when Smirch's plane was first sighted over

595
00:39:43,115 --> 00:39:45,355
Speaker 1: the ledge, a little French coast town of ser Lee

596
00:39:45,435 --> 00:39:48,395
Speaker 1: Lemaire to dig up the story of the great man's life,

597
00:39:48,475 --> 00:39:51,795
Speaker 1: had promptly discovered that the story of his life could

598
00:39:51,875 --> 00:39:56,115
Speaker 1: not be printed. His mother, a sullen short order cook

599
00:39:56,115 --> 00:39:58,355
Speaker 1: in a shack restaurant on the edge of a tourists

600
00:39:58,355 --> 00:40:01,835
Speaker 1: camping ground near Westfield, met all inquiries as to her

601
00:40:01,835 --> 00:40:05,555
Speaker 1: son with an angry and the hell with him he drowns.

602
00:40:06,555 --> 00:40:09,795
Speaker 1: His father appeared to be in jail somewhere for stealing

603
00:40:09,915 --> 00:40:15,075
Speaker 1: spotlights and lap robes from tourists automobiles. His young brother,

604
00:40:15,155 --> 00:40:18,755
Speaker 1: a weak minded lad, had but recently escaped from the Preston,

605
00:40:18,795 --> 00:40:22,315
Speaker 1: Iowa Reformatory, and was already wanted in several Western towns

606
00:40:22,315 --> 00:40:25,315
Speaker 1: for the theft of money order blanks from post offices.

607
00:40:26,235 --> 00:40:29,675
Speaker 1: These alarming discoveries were still piling up at the very

608
00:40:29,715 --> 00:40:33,795
Speaker 1: time that pal Smirch, the greatest hero of the twentieth century,

609
00:40:34,075 --> 00:40:38,315
Speaker 1: lear eyed dead for sleep, half starved, was piloting his

610
00:40:38,435 --> 00:40:40,915
Speaker 1: crazy junk heap high above the region in which the

611
00:40:40,955 --> 00:40:44,355
Speaker 1: lamentable story of his private life was being unearthed, headed

612
00:40:44,395 --> 00:40:47,315
Speaker 1: for New York and a greater glory than any man

613
00:40:47,355 --> 00:40:53,955
Speaker 1: of his time had ever known. The necessity for printing

614
00:40:54,155 --> 00:40:57,275
Speaker 1: some account in the papers of the young man's career

615
00:40:57,395 --> 00:41:01,035
Speaker 1: and personality had led to a remarkable predicament. It was,

616
00:41:01,075 --> 00:41:04,675
Speaker 1: of course, impossible to reveal the facts, for a tremendous

617
00:41:04,995 --> 00:41:08,035
Speaker 1: popular feeling in favor of the young hero had sprung

618
00:41:08,115 --> 00:41:10,795
Speaker 1: up like a grass fire when he was halfway across

619
00:41:10,875 --> 00:41:14,155
Speaker 1: Europe on his flight around the globe. He was therefore

620
00:41:14,195 --> 00:41:19,635
Speaker 1: described as a modest, chap taciturn blonde, popular with his friends,

621
00:41:20,075 --> 00:41:24,955
Speaker 1: popular with girls. The only available snapshot of Smirch, taken

622
00:41:24,995 --> 00:41:27,475
Speaker 1: at the wheel of a phony automobile in a cheap

623
00:41:27,475 --> 00:41:30,635
Speaker 1: photo studio at an amusement park, was touched up so

624
00:41:30,675 --> 00:41:35,835
Speaker 1: that the little vulgarian looked quite handsome. His twisted leer

625
00:41:36,195 --> 00:41:40,075
Speaker 1: was smoothed into a pleasant smile. The truth was in

626
00:41:40,115 --> 00:41:43,795
Speaker 1: this way kept from the youth's ecstatic compatriots. They did

627
00:41:43,835 --> 00:41:47,995
Speaker 1: not dream that the Smirch family was despised and feared

628
00:41:48,115 --> 00:41:50,875
Speaker 1: by its neighbors in the obscure Iowa town, nor that

629
00:41:50,915 --> 00:41:55,515
Speaker 1: the hero himself, because of numerous unsavory exploits, had come

630
00:41:55,555 --> 00:41:58,915
Speaker 1: to be regarded in Westfield as a nuisance and a menace.

631
00:42:00,555 --> 00:42:04,475
Speaker 1: Pal's Smirch had, the reporters discovered, once knife the principle

632
00:42:04,515 --> 00:42:07,675
Speaker 1: of his high school, not mortally, to be sure, but

633
00:42:07,715 --> 00:42:11,475
Speaker 1: he had knifed him, and on another occasion, surprised in

634
00:42:11,555 --> 00:42:15,115
Speaker 1: the act of an stealing altar cloth from a church,

635
00:42:15,515 --> 00:42:18,075
Speaker 1: he had bashed the sexton over the head with a

636
00:42:18,115 --> 00:42:22,795
Speaker 1: pot of Easter lilies. For each of these offenses he

637
00:42:22,835 --> 00:42:27,995
Speaker 1: had served a sentence in the reformatory. Inwardly, the authorities,

638
00:42:28,035 --> 00:42:30,395
Speaker 1: both in New York and in Washington, prayed that an

639
00:42:30,515 --> 00:42:36,155
Speaker 1: understanding providence might, however awful, such a thing seemed, bring

640
00:42:36,275 --> 00:42:39,995
Speaker 1: disaster to the rusty, battered plane and its illustrious pilot,

641
00:42:40,075 --> 00:42:43,555
Speaker 1: whose unheard of flight had aroused the civilized world to

642
00:42:43,635 --> 00:42:48,355
Speaker 1: hosannas of hysterical praise. The authorities were convinced that the

643
00:42:48,515 --> 00:42:51,995
Speaker 1: character of the renowned aviator was such that the limelight

644
00:42:52,035 --> 00:42:55,395
Speaker 1: of adulation was bound to reveal him to all the

645
00:42:55,435 --> 00:43:00,995
Speaker 1: world as a congenital hooligan, mentally and morally unequipped to

646
00:43:01,115 --> 00:43:06,315
Speaker 1: cope with his own prodigious fame. Trust said the Secretary

647
00:43:06,355 --> 00:43:08,995
Speaker 1: of State at one of the many secret cabinet meetings

648
00:43:09,155 --> 00:43:13,235
Speaker 1: called to consider the national dilemma. I trust that his

649
00:43:13,355 --> 00:43:18,235
Speaker 1: mother's prayer will be answered, by which he referred to

650
00:43:18,275 --> 00:43:21,475
Speaker 1: missus Emma's Smirch's wish that her son might be drowned.

651
00:43:23,075 --> 00:43:26,115
Speaker 1: It was, however, too late for that Smirch had leaped

652
00:43:26,115 --> 00:43:28,195
Speaker 1: the Atlantic and then the Pacific as if they were

653
00:43:28,315 --> 00:43:31,315
Speaker 1: mill ponds. At three minutes after two o'clock on the

654
00:43:31,355 --> 00:43:35,115
Speaker 1: afternoon of July seventeenth, nineteen thirty seven, the garage boy

655
00:43:35,475 --> 00:43:38,595
Speaker 1: brought his idiotic plane into Roosevelt Field for a perfect

656
00:43:38,875 --> 00:43:43,955
Speaker 1: three point landing. It had, of course been out of

657
00:43:43,955 --> 00:43:46,835
Speaker 1: the question to arrange a modest little reception for the

658
00:43:46,835 --> 00:43:49,635
Speaker 1: greatest flier in the history of the world. He was

659
00:43:49,715 --> 00:43:53,315
Speaker 1: received at Roosevelt Field with such elaborate and pretentious ceremonies

660
00:43:53,355 --> 00:43:58,635
Speaker 1: as rocked the world. Fortunately, however, the warren and spent

661
00:43:58,755 --> 00:44:02,955
Speaker 1: hero promptly swooned, had to be removed bodily from his plane,

662
00:44:02,955 --> 00:44:05,235
Speaker 1: and was spirited from the field with a having opened

663
00:44:05,275 --> 00:44:09,115
Speaker 1: his mouth once. Thus he did not jeopardize the dignity

664
00:44:09,155 --> 00:44:13,475
Speaker 1: of his first reception, a reception illumined by the presence

665
00:44:13,515 --> 00:44:16,515
Speaker 1: of the Secretaries of War and the Navy, Mayor Michael J.

666
00:44:16,635 --> 00:44:21,355
Speaker 1: Moriarty of New York, the Premier of Canada, Governor's Fanamine Groves, mcpheey,

667
00:44:21,395 --> 00:44:25,635
Speaker 1: and Critchfield, in a brilliant array of European diplomats. Smirch

668
00:44:25,755 --> 00:44:28,555
Speaker 1: did not, in fact come too in time to take

669
00:44:28,635 --> 00:44:31,515
Speaker 1: part in the gigantic hullabaloo arranged at City Hall for

670
00:44:31,595 --> 00:44:34,755
Speaker 1: the next day. He was rushed to a secluded nursing

671
00:44:34,795 --> 00:44:38,795
Speaker 1: home and confined in bed. It was nine days before

672
00:44:38,795 --> 00:44:41,355
Speaker 1: he was able to get up, or to be more exact,

673
00:44:41,355 --> 00:44:46,835
Speaker 1: before he was permitted to get up. Meanwhile, the greatest

674
00:44:46,875 --> 00:44:50,075
Speaker 1: minds in the country, in solemn assembly, had arranged a

675
00:44:50,155 --> 00:44:54,155
Speaker 1: secret conference of city, state, and government officials, which Smirch

676
00:44:54,315 --> 00:44:58,395
Speaker 1: was to attend for the purpose of being instructed in

677
00:44:58,435 --> 00:45:03,875
Speaker 1: the ethics and behavior of heroism. On the day that

678
00:45:03,915 --> 00:45:06,115
Speaker 1: the little mechanic was finally allowed to get up in

679
00:45:06,195 --> 00:45:08,195
Speaker 1: dress and for the first time in two weeks, took

680
00:45:08,195 --> 00:45:11,075
Speaker 1: a great chew of tomacco, he was permitted to receive

681
00:45:11,235 --> 00:45:14,715
Speaker 1: the newspaper men this by way of testing him out.

682
00:45:15,915 --> 00:45:19,915
Speaker 1: Smirch did not wait for questions. Use guys, he said,

683
00:45:20,515 --> 00:45:24,155
Speaker 1: and the Times Man winced. Use guys can tell a

684
00:45:24,235 --> 00:45:27,155
Speaker 1: cock guyed world that I put it over on Lindbergh.

685
00:45:27,275 --> 00:45:32,355
Speaker 1: See yeah, man, an ass said, I'm two frogs. The

686
00:45:32,635 --> 00:45:36,435
Speaker 1: two frogs was a reference to a pair of gallant

687
00:45:36,555 --> 00:45:40,275
Speaker 1: French flyers who, in attempting to flight only halfway round

688
00:45:40,275 --> 00:45:43,595
Speaker 1: the world, had two weeks before unhappily been lost at sea.

689
00:45:44,075 --> 00:45:46,515
Speaker 1: The Times Man was bold enough at this point to

690
00:45:46,555 --> 00:45:50,195
Speaker 1: sketch out for Smirch. He accepted formula for interviews in

691
00:45:50,275 --> 00:45:53,035
Speaker 1: cases of this kind. He explained that there should be

692
00:45:53,075 --> 00:45:58,035
Speaker 1: no arrogant statements belittling the achievements of other heroes, particularly

693
00:45:58,115 --> 00:46:02,355
Speaker 1: heroes of foreign nations. A the hell with that, said Smirch.

694
00:46:03,195 --> 00:46:06,155
Speaker 1: I did it. See he did it, and I'm talking

695
00:46:06,235 --> 00:46:11,155
Speaker 1: about it, and he did talk about it. None of

696
00:46:11,195 --> 00:46:15,595
Speaker 1: this extraordinary interview was, of course printed. On the contrary,

697
00:46:15,635 --> 00:46:18,755
Speaker 1: the newspapers, already under the disciplined direction of a secret

698
00:46:18,835 --> 00:46:22,715
Speaker 1: directorate created for the occasion and composed of statesmen and editors,

699
00:46:23,075 --> 00:46:25,955
Speaker 1: gave out to a panting and restless world that Jackie,

700
00:46:26,755 --> 00:46:30,315
Speaker 1: as he had been arbitrarily nicknamed, would consent to say

701
00:46:30,355 --> 00:46:33,795
Speaker 1: only that he was very happy, and that anyone could

702
00:46:33,795 --> 00:46:36,995
Speaker 1: have done what he did. My achievement has been I

703
00:46:37,075 --> 00:46:41,555
Speaker 1: fear slightly exaggerated. The times Man's article had him protest

704
00:46:41,595 --> 00:46:45,715
Speaker 1: with a modest smile. These newspaper stories were kept from

705
00:46:45,755 --> 00:46:48,955
Speaker 1: the hero, a restriction which did not serve to abate

706
00:46:49,075 --> 00:46:53,915
Speaker 1: the rising malevolence of his temper. The situation was indeed

707
00:46:54,155 --> 00:46:59,595
Speaker 1: extremely grave for Pal's Smirch was, as he kept insisting,

708
00:47:00,035 --> 00:47:03,835
Speaker 1: raring to go. He could not much longer be kept

709
00:47:03,835 --> 00:47:06,715
Speaker 1: from a nation clam who lionize him. It was the

710
00:47:06,715 --> 00:47:10,035
Speaker 1: most desperate crisis the United States of America had faced

711
00:47:10,075 --> 00:47:15,835
Speaker 1: since the sinking of the Lusitania. On the afternoon of

712
00:47:15,875 --> 00:47:19,155
Speaker 1: the twenty seventh of July, Smirch was spirited away to

713
00:47:19,195 --> 00:47:24,435
Speaker 1: a conference room in which were gathered mayors, governors, government officials, behaviorist, psychologists,

714
00:47:24,475 --> 00:47:28,435
Speaker 1: and editors. He gave them each a limp moist paw,

715
00:47:28,915 --> 00:47:35,355
Speaker 1: and a brief, unlovely grin hi, he said. When Smirch

716
00:47:35,435 --> 00:47:37,515
Speaker 1: was seated, the Mayor of New York arose and, with

717
00:47:37,595 --> 00:47:41,355
Speaker 1: obvious pessimism, attempted to explain what he must say and

718
00:47:41,395 --> 00:47:44,915
Speaker 1: how he must act when presented to the world, ending

719
00:47:44,955 --> 00:47:47,395
Speaker 1: his talk with a high tribute to the hero's courage

720
00:47:47,435 --> 00:47:50,675
Speaker 1: and integrity. The mayor was followed by Governor Fannomen of

721
00:47:50,715 --> 00:47:54,235
Speaker 1: New York, who, after a touching declaration of faith, introduced

722
00:47:54,555 --> 00:47:58,755
Speaker 1: Cameron Spottiswood, second Secretary of the American Embassy in Paris.

723
00:47:58,875 --> 00:48:02,875
Speaker 1: The gentlemen selected to coach Smirch in the amenities of

724
00:48:02,915 --> 00:48:07,915
Speaker 1: public ceremonies. Sitting in a chair with a soiled yellow

725
00:48:07,995 --> 00:48:11,235
Speaker 1: tie in his hand and his shirt open at the throat, unshaved,

726
00:48:11,715 --> 00:48:15,995
Speaker 1: smoking a rolled cigarette, Jack Smirch listened with a leer

727
00:48:16,155 --> 00:48:20,075
Speaker 1: on his lips. I get you, I get you, he

728
00:48:20,155 --> 00:48:24,275
Speaker 1: cut in nastily. You want me to act like a softie? Huh?

729
00:48:24,475 --> 00:48:27,915
Speaker 1: You want me to act like that any murmury baby

730
00:48:28,035 --> 00:48:32,755
Speaker 1: face lind big huh, well nuts to that. See. Everyone

731
00:48:32,835 --> 00:48:35,955
Speaker 1: took in his breath sharply. It was a sigh and

732
00:48:35,995 --> 00:48:42,075
Speaker 1: a hiss. Mister Lindbergh began. A United States Senator purple

733
00:48:42,115 --> 00:48:46,475
Speaker 1: with rage, and mister bird Smirch, who was paring his

734
00:48:46,595 --> 00:48:50,755
Speaker 1: nails with a jackknife, cut in again. Boyd, he exclaimed, Oh,

735
00:48:50,795 --> 00:48:54,555
Speaker 1: for God's sake, that big somebody shut off the blasphemies

736
00:48:54,675 --> 00:48:57,555
Speaker 1: with a sharp word. A newcomer had entered the word

737
00:48:57,715 --> 00:49:00,715
Speaker 1: the room. Everyone stood up, except Smirch, who was still

738
00:49:00,715 --> 00:49:03,835
Speaker 1: busy with his nails, and he did not even glance up.

739
00:49:03,995 --> 00:49:07,955
Speaker 1: Mister smir said someone sternly, the President of the United States.

740
00:49:09,155 --> 00:49:10,955
Speaker 1: It had been thought that the presence of the Chief

741
00:49:10,995 --> 00:49:13,995
Speaker 1: Executive might have a chastening effect on the young hero,

742
00:49:14,435 --> 00:49:17,315
Speaker 1: and the former had been, thanks to the remarkable cooperation

743
00:49:17,395 --> 00:49:20,755
Speaker 1: of the press, secretly brought to the obscure conference room.

744
00:49:22,075 --> 00:49:31,755
Speaker 1: A great painful silence fell. Smirch looked up, waved a

745
00:49:31,755 --> 00:49:36,795
Speaker 1: hand at the President. How you coming? He asked, and

746
00:49:36,875 --> 00:49:46,035
Speaker 1: began rolling a fresh cigarette. The silence deepened. Someone coughed

747
00:49:46,355 --> 00:49:51,155
Speaker 1: in a strained way. Jesus hot, ain't it, said smirch.

748
00:49:52,835 --> 00:49:56,795
Speaker 1: He loosened two more shirt buttons, revealing a hairy chest

749
00:49:56,835 --> 00:50:01,555
Speaker 1: and the tattooed word sadie enclosed in a stenciled heart.

750
00:50:02,835 --> 00:50:06,035
Speaker 1: The great and important men in the room, faced by

751
00:50:06,035 --> 00:50:10,595
Speaker 1: the most serious crisis in American history, exchanged worried frowns.

752
00:50:11,435 --> 00:50:15,435
Speaker 1: Nobody seemed to know how to proceed. Come on, come on,

753
00:50:15,795 --> 00:50:18,835
Speaker 1: said smirch. Let's get the hell out of here. When

754
00:50:18,835 --> 00:50:21,555
Speaker 1: do I start cutting in on the podies? Eh? And

755
00:50:21,635 --> 00:50:26,515
Speaker 1: when is there gonna be this in it? He rubbed

756
00:50:26,555 --> 00:50:31,475
Speaker 1: a thumb and forefinger together meaningly. Money, exclaimed a state

757
00:50:31,555 --> 00:50:37,235
Speaker 1: senator shocked Pale. Yeah, money, said Pal, flipping his cigarette

758
00:50:37,275 --> 00:50:40,795
Speaker 1: out of the window. And big money. He began rolling

759
00:50:40,835 --> 00:50:46,075
Speaker 1: a fresh cigarette. Big money, he repeated, Frowning over the

760
00:50:46,155 --> 00:50:49,675
Speaker 1: rice paper. He tilted back in his chair and leered

761
00:50:49,755 --> 00:50:53,555
Speaker 1: at each gentleman separately, the leer of an animal that

762
00:50:53,715 --> 00:50:57,195
Speaker 1: knows its power, the leer of a leopard loose in

763
00:50:57,275 --> 00:51:01,795
Speaker 1: a bird and dog shop. Ah, for God's sake, let's

764
00:51:01,835 --> 00:51:05,355
Speaker 1: get someplace where it's cool, he said, I've been cooped

765
00:51:05,395 --> 00:51:09,595
Speaker 1: up plenty for three weeks. Smirch stood up and walked

766
00:51:09,595 --> 00:51:12,715
Speaker 1: over to an open window, where he stood staring down

767
00:51:12,795 --> 00:51:17,475
Speaker 1: into the street nine floors below. The faint shouting of

768
00:51:17,555 --> 00:51:20,795
Speaker 1: newsboys floated up to him. He made out his name,

769
00:51:21,195 --> 00:51:26,395
Speaker 1: hot Dog, he cried, grinning ecstatic. He leaned out over

770
00:51:26,435 --> 00:51:31,435
Speaker 1: the sill. You tell him, babies, he shouted down, Hot

771
00:51:31,555 --> 00:51:35,675
Speaker 1: Diggity Dog. In the tense little knot of men standing

772
00:51:35,675 --> 00:51:40,155
Speaker 1: behind him, a quick, mad impulse flared up. An unspoken

773
00:51:40,195 --> 00:51:43,995
Speaker 1: word of appeal of command seemed to ring through the room,

774
00:51:44,275 --> 00:51:48,435
Speaker 1: yet it was deadly silent. Charles K. L Brand, secretary

775
00:51:48,475 --> 00:51:50,235
Speaker 1: to the Mayor of New York City, happened to be

776
00:51:50,275 --> 00:51:53,995
Speaker 1: standing nearest Smirch. He looked inquiringly at the President of

777
00:51:54,035 --> 00:51:59,795
Speaker 1: the United States. The President pale grim, nodded shortly. Brand,

778
00:52:00,035 --> 00:52:03,675
Speaker 1: a tall, powerfully built man wants to tackle at Rutgers University,

779
00:52:03,995 --> 00:52:07,315
Speaker 1: stepped forward, seized the greatest man in the world by

780
00:52:07,355 --> 00:52:09,395
Speaker 1: his left shoulder and the seat of his pants, and

781
00:52:09,475 --> 00:52:13,115
Speaker 1: pushed him out the window. My god, he's fallen out

782
00:52:13,115 --> 00:52:15,995
Speaker 1: the window, cried a quick witted editor. Get me out

783
00:52:15,995 --> 00:52:18,595
Speaker 1: of here. Cried the president. Several men sprang to his side,

784
00:52:18,595 --> 00:52:20,555
Speaker 1: and he was hurriedly escorted out of a door toward

785
00:52:20,555 --> 00:52:22,635
Speaker 1: a side entrance of the building. The editor of the

786
00:52:22,675 --> 00:52:25,875
Speaker 1: Associated Press took charge, being used to such things crisply,

787
00:52:25,915 --> 00:52:28,955
Speaker 1: he ordered certain men to leave, others to stay quickly.

788
00:52:28,995 --> 00:52:31,235
Speaker 1: He outlined a story which all the papers were to

789
00:52:31,275 --> 00:52:33,675
Speaker 1: agree on, sent two men to the street to handle

790
00:52:33,715 --> 00:52:36,395
Speaker 1: that end of the tragedy, commanded a Senator to sob

791
00:52:36,635 --> 00:52:40,995
Speaker 1: and two congressmen to go to pieces nervously. In a word,

792
00:52:41,315 --> 00:52:44,715
Speaker 1: he skillfully set the stage for the gigantic task that

793
00:52:44,955 --> 00:52:48,075
Speaker 1: was to follow, the task of breaking to a grief

794
00:52:48,115 --> 00:52:53,595
Speaker 1: stricken world the sad story of the untimely accidental death

795
00:52:53,755 --> 00:53:00,035
Speaker 1: of its most illustrious and spectacular figure. The funeral was,

796
00:53:00,075 --> 00:53:05,995
Speaker 1: as you know, the most elaborate, the finest columnist, and

797
00:53:06,075 --> 00:53:08,835
Speaker 1: the saddest ever held in the United States of America.

798
00:53:09,475 --> 00:53:13,595
Speaker 1: The monument in Arlington Cemetery, with its clean white shaft

799
00:53:13,595 --> 00:53:17,675
Speaker 1: of marble, then the simple device of a tiny plane

800
00:53:17,755 --> 00:53:23,115
Speaker 1: carved on its base, is a place for pilgrims in

801
00:53:23,275 --> 00:53:27,835
Speaker 1: deep reverence to visit. The nations of the world paid

802
00:53:27,915 --> 00:53:34,235
Speaker 1: lofty tributes to little Jackie smirch America's greatest hero. At

803
00:53:34,235 --> 00:53:37,275
Speaker 1: a given hour, there were two minutes of silence throughout

804
00:53:37,275 --> 00:53:41,195
Speaker 1: the nation. Even the inhabitants of the small, bewildered town

805
00:53:41,275 --> 00:53:46,195
Speaker 1: of Westfield, Iowa, observed this touching ceremony. Agents of the

806
00:53:46,195 --> 00:53:50,755
Speaker 1: Department of Justice sought that one of them was especially

807
00:53:50,795 --> 00:53:53,515
Speaker 1: assigned to stand grimly in the doorway of a little

808
00:53:53,555 --> 00:53:57,755
Speaker 1: shack restaurant on the edge of the tourist's camping ground

809
00:53:57,795 --> 00:54:03,435
Speaker 1: just outside the town. There, under his stern scrutiny, missus

810
00:54:03,515 --> 00:54:07,435
Speaker 1: Emma smirched her head over to Hamburger steaks sizzling on

811
00:54:07,555 --> 00:54:12,035
Speaker 1: her grill, bowed her head, and turned away so that

812
00:54:12,115 --> 00:54:17,235
Speaker 1: the secret serviceman could not see the twisted, strangely familiar

813
00:54:18,115 --> 00:54:24,475
Speaker 1: leer on her lips. The Greatest Man in the World

814
00:54:25,355 --> 00:54:41,355
Speaker 1: by James Thurber. I've done all the damage I can

815
00:54:41,395 --> 00:54:43,475
Speaker 1: do here. Thank you for listening. Here are the credits.

816
00:54:43,475 --> 00:54:45,995
Speaker 1: Most of the music was arranged, produced, and performed by

817
00:54:45,995 --> 00:54:48,635
Speaker 1: Brian Ray and John Phillip Shaneale, who are the Countdown

818
00:54:48,715 --> 00:54:52,595
Speaker 1: musical directors. Guitars, bass and drums by Brian Ray All,

819
00:54:52,715 --> 00:54:56,795
Speaker 1: orchestration and keyboards by John Phillip Shanel produced by Tko Brothers.

820
00:54:57,075 --> 00:54:59,795
Speaker 1: Another Beethoven selections have been arranged and performed by the

821
00:54:59,795 --> 00:55:03,235
Speaker 1: group No Horns Allowed. The sports music is the Lderman

822
00:55:03,315 --> 00:55:05,955
Speaker 1: theme from ESPN two. It was written by Mitch Warren

823
00:55:06,035 --> 00:55:10,355
Speaker 1: Davis courtesy of ESPN, Inc. Musical comments by Nancy Faust.

824
00:55:10,395 --> 00:55:13,315
Speaker 1: The best baseball stadium organist ever. Our announcer today was

825
00:55:13,315 --> 00:55:17,435
Speaker 1: my friend Richard Lewis birthday boy as of Thursday, the

826
00:55:17,475 --> 00:55:20,715
Speaker 1: twenty ninth of June. Anyway, everything else is pretty much

827
00:55:20,755 --> 00:55:23,755
Speaker 1: my fault. So that's countdown. As we reach shouting distance

828
00:55:23,755 --> 00:55:28,475
Speaker 1: of the one thousand daymark since Donald Trump's first attempted

829
00:55:28,475 --> 00:55:31,395
Speaker 1: coup against the democratically elected government of the United States,

830
00:55:31,795 --> 00:55:35,355
Speaker 1: arrest him again while we still can, and then let

831
00:55:35,435 --> 00:55:38,315
Speaker 1: him go out on bail and arrest him again. As

832
00:55:38,355 --> 00:55:41,315
Speaker 1: I mentioned earlier, the next scheduled countdown is Thursday, July

833
00:55:41,555 --> 00:55:45,395
Speaker 1: sixth bulletins. As the news warrants till then, I'm Keith Olderman.

834
00:55:45,435 --> 00:56:05,555
Speaker 1: Good morning, good afternoon, goodnight, and good luck food for everyone.

835
00:56:07,115 --> 00:56:11,075
Speaker 1: Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio. For

836
00:56:11,235 --> 00:56:16,315
Speaker 1: more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app Apple Podcasts

837
00:56:16,395 --> 00:56:18,355
Speaker 1: or wherever you get your podcasts,