Speaker 1: What's up? It slips every time intil ye, I'm g
Speaker 1: g McGuire, I'm glarial, i'ma you gotta guess old marks.
Speaker 1: I read Philadelphia in the building an old head. But
Speaker 1: everybody know you from your books already, and we have
Speaker 1: this book. Everybody why you got a whole lot of millennials.
Speaker 1: They don't read like that. They're like, who yeah, reality show,
Speaker 1: it's your dancer. How they listen to audio books nowadays?
Speaker 1: A lot of kids audio books. And I got a
Speaker 1: great voice, but you know, like audio books, we didn't
Speaker 1: make as much money. So it's like I was like
Speaker 1: that audio book thing, you know what I mean. So
Speaker 1: you know it's different, you know, But the book is
Speaker 1: the book, you know, So the audio books, I'd rather
Speaker 1: do movies. The book is not the book. The book
Speaker 1: is a legendar. Flag is about to be a movie. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I wrote the screenplay myself. I gave lines, gave five
Speaker 1: years and I was calling really now I'm gonna Filadelphia
Speaker 1: so I can call with some heat. I was calling
Speaker 1: really nicely. I put my nice voice on how you
Speaker 1: got on the screenplayer? Can I help you out with?
Speaker 1: Can I check it out? Kind of see what you're
Speaker 1: doing and we're not ready yet. We're not We're not
Speaker 1: ready yet. Five years. Yeah, they still have the right
Speaker 1: short but right now I'm gonna go ahead and sit
Speaker 1: down and you know, get it back because I want
Speaker 1: to make it right now, and you know they have
Speaker 1: five years, So I'm like, why should I believe that
Speaker 1: you're gonna make it now? So once I wrote that
Speaker 1: screenplayer December, I said, that's it and I sent it
Speaker 1: to my Tess readers and they loved it. I knew
Speaker 1: it was good already, and they're never gonna know fulling
Speaker 1: off like I know, pulling off here to talk the language,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? The area and then Mount
Speaker 1: every and German Town amount that was like the uptown areas.
Speaker 1: That was like the whole directing thing. Can you direct
Speaker 1: people to be filling off fiers? I'm like, dude, do
Speaker 1: I seem like a shot dude? So people don't know me,
Speaker 1: so it's good for me to be out there where
Speaker 1: they can hear me. And then like, yo, he's a
Speaker 1: rule fulling off like, so don't think that I can't
Speaker 1: tell people how to be fulling off, you know, and
Speaker 1: speak the language and be the cool hip people that
Speaker 1: we were in the and that's my generation eighties and ninety.
Speaker 1: But can't you make a cheese steak? I'm from West Philly.
Speaker 1: My family is legendary in West Philly. My grandfather was
Speaker 1: one of the first black millionaires in Philadelphia and he
Speaker 1: had a cheese steak empire. His name is Fu Fu
Speaker 1: rest in peace. But when he made the Mamajamma, so
Speaker 1: the mama jam was famous. I can make a cheese steak.
Speaker 1: I wish you get this podcast at my house. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: all right, So let's talk about writing because you have
Speaker 1: a book penetration. Yes, I have a new book. This
Speaker 1: is my fourth book. Um, I'm a nonfiction author, so
Speaker 1: loosely this is um not loosely, this is wholeheartedly an
Speaker 1: order biography of sorts. UM. I wanted to tell my story.
Speaker 1: My daughter is autistic. So my first two books are
Speaker 1: about altism and parents. And I've been writing since I
Speaker 1: was like seven, but mostly poetry. So when my daughter
Speaker 1: was diagnosed, I wrote my first novel Along came Altism
Speaker 1: in real Time, to kind of give people a look
Speaker 1: at what autism like, autism, special needs parents and look like. Um.
Speaker 1: Those books were very successful. Me and my daughter wrote
Speaker 1: a children's book together, and I just was like, you
Speaker 1: know what, I want to tell the story of different women,
Speaker 1: so why not start with me? So that that's because
Speaker 1: you know, as a guy, I'm thinking right, okay, So
Speaker 1: the reason I like, honestly, when I sat there and
Speaker 1: started thinking, like I'm gonna telling my story, I'm like,
Speaker 1: what could I call it? Penetration was the first word
Speaker 1: that popped in my head. But if you um listen
Speaker 1: to music, I can't think of what song it is
Speaker 1: right now, but let it penetrate or something. And I'm like,
Speaker 1: let me look up the definition, because of what definition
Speaker 1: of penetration is One the sexual definition of penetration and
Speaker 1: the second definition of penetration is when something is fully
Speaker 1: you fully understand the complex situation. So for me, my
Speaker 1: life is complex and I fully now at thirty six,
Speaker 1: I get it for the penetrator. But dependet Actually, you
Speaker 1: know how like as a woman like you start, you
Speaker 1: sit there and try to go through your life, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, what if I told my life through sexual
Speaker 1: experiences because that dominated so much of my youth. So
Speaker 1: that's where penetration came from, and that's what it is
Speaker 1: because I read it in three hours, and with the penetration.
Speaker 1: We're friends and we've been friends the time, so I
Speaker 1: knew her on the personal level. I didn't people people
Speaker 1: be calling me. I'm like, I'm not see, that's just
Speaker 1: I would never ask. I wouldn't have asked because there's
Speaker 1: a reason. No, because there's the reason why you chose
Speaker 1: to do what you did. If you wanted it to
Speaker 1: be a tell all you wanted to tell people's everything,
Speaker 1: then you know you would have did that. That's not
Speaker 1: your personality. Yeah, you're sparing enough to keep you guessing.
Speaker 1: It's about you, not them, even though they are in
Speaker 1: the story. It's your story. Because my mom read it,
Speaker 1: and it's like, like, I don't wanted to read it,
Speaker 1: and then she was like, I read it because my
Speaker 1: mom is a reader. My mom is a big old
Speaker 1: marrit heaf and she got all your books. She my
Speaker 1: mom a reader, a writer. As having a reader like
Speaker 1: that for a mom is intimidated. And so I'm like,
Speaker 1: I don't read it because one is highly sexual about show.
Speaker 1: You know that watch it but no judgment yeah, like
Speaker 1: judgment free. And my mom was like, you know, like
Speaker 1: I commend you for being so transparent. I mean we
Speaker 1: as women, we go through things, and you know what,
Speaker 1: you're very good at writing from the experience of a
Speaker 1: woman from a man. How trying to know everything. I'm
Speaker 1: an a student, you know what I mean. So it's
Speaker 1: like I was one of them dudes that I don't
Speaker 1: mind being smart, and I'll tell you like, I'm an area,
Speaker 1: so I'm like, yo, dude, we don't like straight up.
Speaker 1: So I'm like, na, you know, so I want to
Speaker 1: get it right. So when I write the mail guy,
Speaker 1: nobody pay attention. You know this guy. You know, when
Speaker 1: I get everybody right, if I write about a Puerto
Speaker 1: Rican I'm gonna study right now, I'm writing a Dominican story.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna study them. So I'm not trying to be wrong.
Speaker 1: I'm always trying to be right. And so with that,
Speaker 1: it's like, oh, Mark, thinking knows so much. Yeah, battle me.
Speaker 1: I'm ready to roll, you know what? Amazing, So I
Speaker 1: want them people that's ready to battle. So when I
Speaker 1: put a book out, I'm like, god, dare you you
Speaker 1: know what I mean to say? Something wrong in here?
Speaker 1: Because I researched it. I don't just make it up,
Speaker 1: you know, like I know it if I write about
Speaker 1: the Dominicans right now, I'm and I viewing Dominicans about
Speaker 1: the whole culture. I'm gonna study the d R right now.
Speaker 1: They're coming to Philadelphia and raves like they're coming straight
Speaker 1: from the d R. Not coming to New York. They're
Speaker 1: coming to Felic peoples is coming And I'm like, yo,
Speaker 1: all right, that's a good deal. So I always write
Speaker 1: stuff that you know, it's hot and popular then Dominicans,
Speaker 1: you know, then Cardi b blowing up like that. You know,
Speaker 1: who would think a Dominican female rapper would be like
Speaker 1: on like the way in the world. You would think
Speaker 1: that three years ago, but now it's like, Wow, a
Speaker 1: Dominican female rapper. And so yeah, I try to be
Speaker 1: right with everything I'm doing. If it's a female, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna study the female to be right. Y'all next to
Speaker 1: us all the time. So like, I got Mom's sisters, cousins.
Speaker 1: Do you feel like y'all understand man enough that you
Speaker 1: can write from a man's point of view? I do.
Speaker 1: I think I can think, Yeah, got some friends and
Speaker 1: Harry so many things that they have to say. Now
Speaker 1: they'd be around guys enough. You're like okay, kind of
Speaker 1: message your head up too, because then you start to think, like, man,
Speaker 1: a lot of guys, Like for most of my life,
Speaker 1: I always like, men are not ship they all cheat.
Speaker 1: And that's because of all the guys that I was around.
Speaker 1: Like everybody the last say, yeah, yeah, that was all
Speaker 1: the guys I was around. They were like cheaters and
Speaker 1: whatever the case. But then I'm at other guys, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean, And I've seen something that were
Speaker 1: faithful and I were married and do right. Men that
Speaker 1: you don't like, they get shipped on. Yeah, the whole
Speaker 1: tour for that, you know. I used to tell people
Speaker 1: all the time, I've got two things for friends. You know,
Speaker 1: the good guys. He's so nice, but he's not my
Speaker 1: tight you know what I mean. Like everybody said, that's okay.
Speaker 1: So you got good dudes that you know, but you
Speaker 1: put him in the friend zone. You go to church
Speaker 1: with him, you talk about him with your problems, but
Speaker 1: you never look at him romantically, you know. So I
Speaker 1: had the whole book on that. I understand girls like
Speaker 1: the challenge something that the guys that I'm not attracted
Speaker 1: to and the friends like that's how but you're not
Speaker 1: really attracted two good nice guys. I mean I'm looks wise.
Speaker 1: I'm just talking about personality. I mean, personality is one thing,
Speaker 1: but I feel like the looks is would draw me first.
Speaker 1: So it's like if I cannot, it's just like just
Speaker 1: has to be sexy to me, attractive to me, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. It doesn't even have to be
Speaker 1: like I don't know, maybe the way he dresses, maybe
Speaker 1: the way where he carries himself might be sexy to me.
Speaker 1: But like, if I don't find you attractive, then you're
Speaker 1: always going to be in the friend zone. I don't
Speaker 1: care how good of a man you mean that you
Speaker 1: could have finally do attractive in two seconds that you
Speaker 1: already know, Like if he ain't attractive, it ain't he nothing,
Speaker 1: he can do, nothing he can do first um, and
Speaker 1: then they kind of grew in. I mean, like I've
Speaker 1: not that I wasn't attracted. I might have been attracted
Speaker 1: to them, but just didn't like them in that kind
Speaker 1: of way, And then they grew on me, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean. But I might have always thought they
Speaker 1: were attractive in some kind of way. But if I
Speaker 1: didn't think you were attractive in no kind of way,
Speaker 1: there's no way. No, you're a friend, I said, let's
Speaker 1: go to eat, let's go hang out. Cool, but don't
Speaker 1: touch my city put my hand. I won't even give
Speaker 1: you a hug. I don't even like the hug thing
Speaker 1: when you see each other. That's even awkward. You can't
Speaker 1: hug someone. I mean when yeah, and it's a guy,
Speaker 1: but if he likes if I know he likes me,
Speaker 1: it's just weird for me to go and and give
Speaker 1: him blood out. Pat you on the back of cousin. Now,
Speaker 1: I need anyone like this. I'm like, what's good? HOI
Speaker 1: like girl? They were like, I feel we were on
Speaker 1: a date. No, no, I mean I could favor my
Speaker 1: food too. But you can pay everyone. All right. Now,
Speaker 1: let's talk about this part of the book, penetration. Yes,
Speaker 1: as I was pulling my little denim Daisy Dukes off,
Speaker 1: he started kissing me on the neck. His mouth felt
Speaker 1: so cold and wet, brushed up against my nervous flesh.
Speaker 1: I got the strange feeling in the bottom of my stomach.
Speaker 1: He kept kissing me. As my shirts hit the bathroom floor.
Speaker 1: I felt his hands sizing me through my panties and
Speaker 1: went to his knees and pulled my panties down with
Speaker 1: his teeth. Then he started to kiss my box. His
Speaker 1: lips felt moist as he started moving his head faster
Speaker 1: and faster. I began to scream. He stopped, look medentitiized
Speaker 1: and told me to shut up. But this goes on
Speaker 1: to say that night it was four hundred fifty dollars.
Speaker 1: He gave us some money increased each time we saw
Speaker 1: each other. He was my first trick, and you were
Speaker 1: only thirteen years old. He was also her first sexual experience.
Speaker 1: He wasn't my first sexual experience. Um, he was my
Speaker 1: first sexual experience with a guy. I'll say. So, that's
Speaker 1: another thing we have in common. She lost her virginity
Speaker 1: to a woman too. Yeah, I don't know if it
Speaker 1: was no, it wasn't he. I think I was always
Speaker 1: like thirteen or fourteen when I met when that's how
Speaker 1: she was happy. You protected the name because she was
Speaker 1: yet like I would get into that and then in
Speaker 1: volume two because it gets a little deeper. But he
Speaker 1: was like this older guy. Um, because he was thirteen,
Speaker 1: how old is he? He maybe was like nineteen or twenty.
Speaker 1: I don't remember it hurt you. I don't remember it hurt,
Speaker 1: and I just remember being like in like your fic state,
Speaker 1: Like I remember like not really understanding what was going on,
Speaker 1: but understanding what was But he was older, so he
Speaker 1: was like popular in our neighborhood. So it was just
Speaker 1: like at that age, I wasn't thinking like did I
Speaker 1: do something wrong? I was thinking like, yes, I got this,
Speaker 1: yeah you know what I mean. Like I wasn't thinking
Speaker 1: about it like that. And then he was like giving
Speaker 1: us money, like I would take my money and give
Speaker 1: me my sister tropical me and cure and all this stuff. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like I wasn't thinking about that. But it kind of
Speaker 1: like it kind of like gave me a real message
Speaker 1: of section of you know, like even at thirty six,
Speaker 1: it gives me a real jaded perception of what and
Speaker 1: a female relationship is. Like I had this conversation with
Speaker 1: my friends all the time like I'm super single, Like
Speaker 1: I'm not. I never lived with a man. I've never
Speaker 1: been in a serious, like super committed relationships. But because
Speaker 1: I look like one, I think all men want to
Speaker 1: have sex with me period, like and and that's true.
Speaker 1: I can't get that when a guy first initially creates
Speaker 1: a type of communication with because you right, it's because
Speaker 1: he want to. That's what I think as a man
Speaker 1: in here. What do you think about that statement? When
Speaker 1: you try to talk to a girl, that's because I
Speaker 1: want to her. Yeah, like when you first initially, I mean,
Speaker 1: that's all the way sex. I don't you want to
Speaker 1: have sex with me, So I'm gonna make you do
Speaker 1: all of this ship before you're there, before you get it,
Speaker 1: like and I didn't know, Like it's that that's only
Speaker 1: gonna work for a guy that is willing to do that,
Speaker 1: you know, because I gotta do. In this book, Victor,
Speaker 1: when when I cast this dude, I mean, he's gonna
Speaker 1: be the sexiest dude, but he's not doing that. He's like, dude,
Speaker 1: I got five girls you like, I know guys and
Speaker 1: I had in the book she like you ain't but
Speaker 1: your panties say that because me and Victor would be
Speaker 1: button his He like, I'm the guys, the guys that
Speaker 1: do the most of me never has sex with me,
Speaker 1: and I feel like so powerful, and it's it's like
Speaker 1: the guys that never ever got it like they do
Speaker 1: the most, like right now today, like can you my
Speaker 1: son tuitioning a whole lot of money, but they don't
Speaker 1: like you from Philadelphia. Yeah, so you had West philand
Speaker 1: off that was doing that. He was from WESTVILLI yeah,
Speaker 1: but he just different cities. I was in d C.
Speaker 1: They was treating that women like. I was like, what
Speaker 1: y'all paying? What y'all doing what? But this was like
Speaker 1: in the eighties when that whole rateful and that's my
Speaker 1: mom because they wasn't like I don't know, it's different
Speaker 1: different places. Like like one time I prayed the guy
Speaker 1: for it. I was like, God, I just don't want
Speaker 1: to pay my bills. Just to me the southern guy
Speaker 1: that they beautiful to pay on my bills. And he did. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but you gotta be you gotta pray for that. He
Speaker 1: was he was older than you. That was so pretty
Speaker 1: rare bone Yeah, can you please play this car? But
Speaker 1: that was older. He was much He was much older
Speaker 1: than you, not that much. That was Sierra's prayer to
Speaker 1: pri was like God, yea like this crazy person. Do
Speaker 1: guys pray for the right women? Like you see how women?
Speaker 1: They're like, what's the prayer? He send me a d
Speaker 1: that likes men? Do that? Do you like that? God?
Speaker 1: Me send me a woman who will and what would
Speaker 1: your prayer be, Like that's your Yeah, that's like we
Speaker 1: have answer. Can you please just say everything about me.
Speaker 1: That's not gonna cheat on me, that's not gonna trying
Speaker 1: to suck my sister, my best friend. You gotta have
Speaker 1: a few more dudes. I wasn't because too many girls,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. But I'm not praying for im.
Speaker 1: I'm not doing that. I have a girl. You're going
Speaker 1: to the next one now, stopping that, dude, pray for
Speaker 1: a certain kind of woman woman like it's just like this,
Speaker 1: it's a different kind of man. Like somebody. Some men
Speaker 1: are just really that spiritual that they're like, you know,
Speaker 1: they talk to God. Yeah, I mean not not even
Speaker 1: just I want to say church dudes, I would say spiritual.
Speaker 1: I like to say spiritual because just because they're to me,
Speaker 1: a woman for me like that, I don't like a
Speaker 1: good woman. A woman's gonna pour into me like a
Speaker 1: woman that's gonna give me advice and be my second
Speaker 1: I'm your Yeah. Well, I mean, you gotta what kind
Speaker 1: of dude he is? What kind of girls I'm around?
Speaker 1: All kind of women, you know what I mean? So
Speaker 1: with dudes, I'm like how did you get around them?
Speaker 1: If he's a drug dealer and he's only around some
Speaker 1: kind of women, I'm around all kind of women. So
Speaker 1: I'm like I just was telling somebody that the other day,
Speaker 1: like a young girl, like, first of all, if you
Speaker 1: want this type of guy, you gotta be in that
Speaker 1: type of arena in the hood, thinking you're gonna get
Speaker 1: that he ain't there, you know, like an with hood girls,
Speaker 1: ghetto girls. They never felt comfortable with me because the
Speaker 1: mentality was like he's going somewhere, he kids. I always
Speaker 1: spoke that way, I want to do this and when that,
Speaker 1: and it was like they always backed away from me,
Speaker 1: like I can't handle that dude. And I always spoke
Speaker 1: with power, like I never spoke with this whole and
Speaker 1: feminine and when they do, no, I was always gonna
Speaker 1: do this and do that. They was like, yo, this
Speaker 1: family is like I can't handle that. So they will
Speaker 1: always back away even if I like the ghetto girl
Speaker 1: up and like I can't handle that dude he wants
Speaker 1: you know, he got too much confidence, like the kind
Speaker 1: of women that are attracted to you, so you don't
Speaker 1: feel like it's the hood when they're always confident, you
Speaker 1: gotta because I'm coming with so much confident. If you
Speaker 1: don't have that, you're gonna feel like I can't deal
Speaker 1: with him. That's like us like women, and you know,
Speaker 1: like when you were certain type of successful and it's
Speaker 1: not even just monetary, just like you carry yourself, you
Speaker 1: know what you wanting. Certain men just be like yeah,
Speaker 1: get with them, and they try to diminish everything you
Speaker 1: work or you or they just won't come over because
Speaker 1: I think people always think I got like with me
Speaker 1: me being a bookwriter. I was going on tour and
Speaker 1: you had women like, oh my god, I would love
Speaker 1: because you you know what I man, I'm like you,
Speaker 1: I like, my god, man, it's like all the time,
Speaker 1: you got women that got there on cars and then
Speaker 1: on houses, and I'm not afraid of none of them.
Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, let's bring the noise. So now I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm about to get in trouble with all the Wethers
Speaker 1: out here that's looking for dudes. But I'm like you,
Speaker 1: in America, you're supposed to have want. So I was like, yo,
Speaker 1: this is torture, you know. So you're going towards like
Speaker 1: that as an intellectual if you got intellectual women. I'm like, yo,
Speaker 1: this I'm about to get in trouble. You said, it's
Speaker 1: because in America you can only have one way. That's
Speaker 1: what I just cut it out to him, saying it
Speaker 1: was torture, torture that you ain't to have all the women,
Speaker 1: all the wive not not every woman, but I mean
Speaker 1: when they they're kicking it, you like and they look
Speaker 1: good and you're like, you know, I wish I had
Speaker 1: a guy like you, and you're like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: and you got a hotel and you got limos and
Speaker 1: you know, I mean they babe putting the money out
Speaker 1: there so they already know, like you know, I'm in fancy. Like, yo, dude,
Speaker 1: this is torture. Do you think you can handle being
Speaker 1: married to more than one woman at a time? How
Speaker 1: many women do you think? About five? You gotta have
Speaker 1: the fighting that, you gotta have a fighting to do that.
Speaker 1: Until when you have the multiple marriages, they have fighting
Speaker 1: like they poor, they gotta have the money to do that.
Speaker 1: You about attention. It's not just about money, because then
Speaker 1: it's like you got to but you're not gonna be.
Speaker 1: You gotta nderstand when you're in that situation, the family
Speaker 1: has to agree to it. If you ain't got no money,
Speaker 1: it's like, why am I giving my doors to are
Speaker 1: broke through? That ain't happening. So you've got to stand
Speaker 1: that they always have money. So how do you feel
Speaker 1: like if you okay, you're in a relationship with five
Speaker 1: women married, you have a daughter, what do you want
Speaker 1: your daughter? The thing, well, she can be the first
Speaker 1: or second or third, and she can see. You have
Speaker 1: to choose. So it's not like I'm forcing these women no,
Speaker 1: no no no. But your daughter, because now you're zing,
Speaker 1: don't have to choose. Like what you would say, she
Speaker 1: would you be comfortable, And that's part of the culture
Speaker 1: you gotta do. Is she gonna be one of two? Three?
Speaker 1: Depends on her personality. Man, if you got a daughter
Speaker 1: that you know it's not a type a woman, you're like, yo,
Speaker 1: you can't handle that. You gotta know your daughter. You
Speaker 1: can't put your daughter situation she can't have. What about
Speaker 1: an open relationship be could you be in a relationship
Speaker 1: where she can see other people and so can you. Well,
Speaker 1: it's gonna happen where it's like, Okay, this is her
Speaker 1: life and so you can try to be dad and
Speaker 1: all you want, but just her life. So she's like, Okay,
Speaker 1: are you comfortable with this about you? Like as a
Speaker 1: man could a man? I'm an older dude now, so
Speaker 1: it's like you can't control people's lives, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean. I'm about to turn five. Oh, It's like,
Speaker 1: I understand you're gonna live your life. I can be that.
Speaker 1: I'm not about to about your hand. I'm not gonna
Speaker 1: live your life, but to be okay, like leg I'm
Speaker 1: gonna do me, you do your thing. We could be together,
Speaker 1: but at the end of the day, are you cool
Speaker 1: with that? Dude? You're cool with your lifestyle. I'm so
Speaker 1: damn ship. Huh. You don't have no feelings of like
Speaker 1: you don't want that person because what if they end
Speaker 1: up having a baby together or something. You're okay with that.
Speaker 1: I don't want no more kids, so you are like
Speaker 1: I was saying somebody recently and I was like, you
Speaker 1: better you go get you a young girl, because hey,
Speaker 1: this oven is closed. And I feel like Wendy Williams
Speaker 1: might have thought that to me. I feel like she
Speaker 1: might have thought that's a reality sunken and the baby came.
Speaker 1: But always she always said that I guess I don't
Speaker 1: know if this is out there, but that she's okay
Speaker 1: with him doing other things as long as he didn't
Speaker 1: have a baby and cancer Like me and cancer women,
Speaker 1: I'm I'm more um. I have been able to tap
Speaker 1: into my male ways more than my female ways, just
Speaker 1: the way my life and set up. But a lot
Speaker 1: of my close friends are cancers. Cancer women love really really,
Speaker 1: really really hard, and cancer women want to be nurturers
Speaker 1: and they will take a lot of ship. Like a
Speaker 1: cancer woman is the type of woman that will that
Speaker 1: her husband has six kids over here outside the marriage,
Speaker 1: just so she could still say she married, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean. And I'm not her, Like, I'm not
Speaker 1: that girl, but I am like I could see myself
Speaker 1: in an open relationship to the point where like I'm
Speaker 1: so used to being single and having my own space,
Speaker 1: Like I wouldn't be opposed to my husband living here
Speaker 1: and I live here because you've never lived in their
Speaker 1: open relationship. For two and a half years, it was
Speaker 1: fine until he got another woman pregnant. That he got
Speaker 1: her pregnant. I cared that he lied about it because
Speaker 1: I was having a baby for him. But you get
Speaker 1: somebody an inch, I felt like that now you laying
Speaker 1: cheat and do what he wants. Now this nig is
Speaker 1: gonna come with a baby like you was already able
Speaker 1: to do whatever I was, but I was going me too,
Speaker 1: and if I don't want a baby and I'm not
Speaker 1: having a baby, and at the time I definitely wasn't
Speaker 1: having a baby. But if I would have wanted to
Speaker 1: have a baby or been pregnant by somebody else, that's
Speaker 1: something he would have had to deal with. I had
Speaker 1: to deal with it about your not to only because
Speaker 1: he lied. Had he not lied to me and told me, listen,
Speaker 1: Rebecca is pregnant exactly all right, we have it. I
Speaker 1: think I think why he lied? No, they're not going
Speaker 1: over why And that's why I was over And it
Speaker 1: was like that's like that throw like like that handle
Speaker 1: this whole lion thing, like we don't want to lose
Speaker 1: a woman. That's that's always. I was the most honest student,
Speaker 1: but I was brutal. Women like, you know, let's come
Speaker 1: on my house after school, and it was like what
Speaker 1: we're gonna do. I got some kindoms were like no,
Speaker 1: I'm not coming in, and my friends and like what
Speaker 1: the hell is wrong with you? Went the telling we're
Speaker 1: gonna watch TV and you make a move, so god
Speaker 1: you they don't want to, but I have two kindoms
Speaker 1: left you. It was like, and you learned because I
Speaker 1: lost out on a lot of girls for honesty, you know,
Speaker 1: learned how to lie. You get trained, like you can't
Speaker 1: say I think that's not fair because now you're choosing
Speaker 1: for somebody. You know what I'm saying that I understand
Speaker 1: it's not gonna funk with you because that's not what
Speaker 1: they're fucking with. So now it's like you're forcing somebody
Speaker 1: into something and that I can't respect. But as far
Speaker 1: as with an open relationship, I feel like, like you said,
Speaker 1: she told him no babies, that y'all laid down the law.
Speaker 1: But to me, open relationship, I got a relationship with
Speaker 1: other people is none of your business if I'm having
Speaker 1: a baby with somebody else. So you feel like I
Speaker 1: don't even have to tell you. I mean it's open
Speaker 1: because like what I got over here with dumb in school. See.
Speaker 1: And then I feel like because even its celebrities and
Speaker 1: you know, just two different people that say they are
Speaker 1: in open relationship. But I think the rules apply because
Speaker 1: even on like Housewives of Atlanta. I think the girl
Speaker 1: was saying that her and the one that's married to
Speaker 1: the bill Bibs of God, we're saying that they sort
Speaker 1: of like an open relationship. But it's a double standard.
Speaker 1: It's like a nigga want you to bring a girl in,
Speaker 1: so y'all could do y'all thing, but God forbid she
Speaker 1: want to go do her thing. Rather's with a man
Speaker 1: or a woman like that. Guy can't never say I
Speaker 1: can't get the safety of it, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: I was at Howard University and I had a girl
Speaker 1: and said, you know, you can do them as long
Speaker 1: as you use a condom with them' see come on,
Speaker 1: but you say, okay, and that condoms that everybody. Be honest,
Speaker 1: you didn't use a condom with everybody. She said that.
Speaker 1: I was like, you know what I mean, Like, whoa,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? So you still have a
Speaker 1: give and take with that, because now if you're doing
Speaker 1: everybody wrong, yeah, that's you got it right. That's just
Speaker 1: it still always gonna be a double standard. Like men,
Speaker 1: even if open relationship on the table, we all know
Speaker 1: what we're gonna do. The woman is always is always
Speaker 1: going to be different for the woman. Well, let's talk
Speaker 1: about double standards for a second. Right, let's talk about
Speaker 1: men taking care of women and women being into materialistic things. Girl. Yes,
Speaker 1: so ladies, and I want to hear this has ever
Speaker 1: happened for you on Mark? Would you be okay with
Speaker 1: taking care of a man financially? Absolutely not. I feel
Speaker 1: like at this age, at thirty something, I can't date
Speaker 1: a man that's almost about to become whoever he is,
Speaker 1: like he definitely has some already know he want when
Speaker 1: he want to be when he grow up and be real,
Speaker 1: stern and already on that path. Let's be clear. We
Speaker 1: lived together, and we together and I'm rolling and I'm
Speaker 1: doing my thing, and you don't pour it into me,
Speaker 1: and everything is gravy and God forbid something happening. Whatever
Speaker 1: you do it, don't do normal. That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: I would pay the bill because I'm not gonna be homeless.
Speaker 1: But you can't go as a woman. You can't go
Speaker 1: into a situation with a god like I'm rich. Baby,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be your sugar mama, because what you're thinking,
Speaker 1: I wouldn't say that, but I'm just saying, if you
Speaker 1: would you be with a guy who had less than you,
Speaker 1: that you had to hold a lot more down. No,
Speaker 1: he would still have to be the person. I know
Speaker 1: it may be, but I feel like a man that
Speaker 1: is supposed to be a protector and the provider. Because
Speaker 1: if that's the case, like I live in a big
Speaker 1: house with my family and my kids, I can say
Speaker 1: right there, So have you ever had a woman take
Speaker 1: care of you? I'm a hustler, I'm a I'm a hustler. Whatever.
Speaker 1: The women that have more than you, yeah, I always had,
Speaker 1: she could have more money than me. But that doesn't
Speaker 1: work because then she starts looking at you that way. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Like it's just don't work. It's like ego, she gotta
Speaker 1: go with a duty, got more so I backed down, like, yeah,
Speaker 1: you need more money, you know what I mean. It's
Speaker 1: just awkward, I think for a managing ego. Because I
Speaker 1: always say that because if you notice, even like if
Speaker 1: we didn't talk about the Windy William situation, obviously she's
Speaker 1: the bread winner and so he's dogg and dog and
Speaker 1: dog and dogging because his ego has already been bruised
Speaker 1: from day one. You think that's why, I mean, because
Speaker 1: you think he just wanted to cheap, because all men
Speaker 1: cheap period. I feel like that there's some compassion that
Speaker 1: is emotional or how do you find it's not it's
Speaker 1: not hard to understand. It's like I haven't had her.
Speaker 1: Try her. Yeah, y'all make it all complicated. It's like
Speaker 1: I haven't had her. I wondered if she feels different
Speaker 1: she sounds You would say, all men cheat and some capacity,
Speaker 1: and you still have to have that, you know one
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. You know what I mean,
Speaker 1: Like angels, do you think cheating? It's like if your
Speaker 1: sons is out, if the guy is out on vacation
Speaker 1: with his like, okay, say you want a committed relationship,
Speaker 1: you guy he out he in Vegas with his friends.
Speaker 1: They turn it up and like it's cheating, like him
Speaker 1: being the one that paid the girl. Now that's not
Speaker 1: that's not cheating. But you know some girls think that
Speaker 1: that's No, I don't look at that as cheating. Okay,
Speaker 1: if he got it like that, but others are you saying,
Speaker 1: the dude go out on a vacation and something like that,
Speaker 1: ain't cheating if he like and because you know, some
Speaker 1: people got real very strict rules for like my man
Speaker 1: can't pay the tab. My son is sixteen, and I
Speaker 1: teach my son, if you meet a young lady and
Speaker 1: she all with her girlfriends and you come to the venue,
Speaker 1: you have to pay for their ship, right, like saying
Speaker 1: that if my man was on vacation and base with
Speaker 1: his boys and then there was a group of girls
Speaker 1: at the table and he paid their tab, is that cheating? No,
Speaker 1: that's not that's I don't think that as a hustle,
Speaker 1: Like what the hell are you going to? You know,
Speaker 1: but that's not cheat But some girls, like I talked
Speaker 1: to females that feel like, like like I know women, but
Speaker 1: I always be telling them, that's why you cheat on
Speaker 1: you because you two extras. Now, I feel like that's
Speaker 1: a gateway drug to cheating because then he got money
Speaker 1: and pay for that's another way tonight. That's not using
Speaker 1: that's what you have that kind of GUSTA teach my
Speaker 1: son thinking, my boyfriend would never do that if y'all
Speaker 1: all out and like friends come, wouldn't you. Like I
Speaker 1: tell my son that he's sixteen, and I'm like, if
Speaker 1: you meet a girl somewhere, like what your son say
Speaker 1: to that he just taking it all in. He's sixteen,
Speaker 1: but he's not like my son is like a nerd
Speaker 1: give money like you know, she got to because well
Speaker 1: else he getting him to pay for just I'm just
Speaker 1: teaching him. He's girl y' y'are ordering like three he
Speaker 1: likes doing if you're not out with your little best friend,
Speaker 1: his little best girlfriend. If you are, I mean, but
Speaker 1: even if you're like dating a girl like I feel
Speaker 1: because I'm used to guys doing that, you never fill
Speaker 1: it off and we say no humps. Remember that for
Speaker 1: all those people don't know. I mean, my grub is
Speaker 1: my grub. I'm not sharing with nobody, so you don't
Speaker 1: remember that my store like no humps. I'm not giving
Speaker 1: up nothing. So you're showing your son go ahead for ever.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, Like if you man, if
Speaker 1: there's women at the table, I feel like because there's
Speaker 1: nothing better than when you like I with your girlfriend
Speaker 1: and they pay the bill. Yeah said, you never gonna
Speaker 1: paid the bill for a table of girls. So I'm
Speaker 1: gonna give you a scenario. I'm I'm pushing away, so
Speaker 1: we're just gonna give you a hungry So we all
Speaker 1: hanging out at t J Fridays TJ I Friday's the
Speaker 1: country're having some drinks and you and Selim come through
Speaker 1: on your way to the parking garage, and y'all see
Speaker 1: us at the board having drinks and come to side
Speaker 1: to a drink with us. Y'all not gonna pick up
Speaker 1: the pad. Selene can pick up. I'm not Selene, you're
Speaker 1: picking up cool and you're all going one way. Omar sheet,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say, Omar, I never said he was gonna
Speaker 1: he is at airy. Did y'all hear that? Yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: not doing that because if I didn't come to the party,
Speaker 1: I don't even know you. I'm not I don't even
Speaker 1: know you ain't doing that. You got the wrong dude.
Speaker 1: And so that's why a lot of girls that try
Speaker 1: to check, they don't do that. You bronna take care
Speaker 1: of you because it is a week when you like,
Speaker 1: I'm not getting old mar so you already know. So
Speaker 1: I never could get with him. That's why I wrote
Speaker 1: the book Fly. I couldn't get with them kind of girls.
Speaker 1: And they already knew, like, you want to pay for
Speaker 1: his stuff? You want to do area I got there
Speaker 1: that you know, he's like, look dude, and the screenplayer,
Speaker 1: I pushed it even more, like, yo, you want me
Speaker 1: to buy this. You already know what time it is
Speaker 1: with me. Let's just say that you were out with
Speaker 1: a young lady. But y'all like friends, not even dating
Speaker 1: or nothing like that. You would pay for her to eat, right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: we're friends just like okay, but I'm a whole table
Speaker 1: for the girls. I don't know, man, unless just if
Speaker 1: you know, I'm a spurge Fridays, just four people at Fridays.
Speaker 1: You think like, yeah, he said, unless I hit the lottery,
Speaker 1: that a hunted dollars. You don't need to hit the lottery.
Speaker 1: But that's a reas though I got two boy cousins.
Speaker 1: That's a reason. They just like that. Now let's talk
Speaker 1: about this. You know, there was something about watching him
Speaker 1: pound on another bitch, bending her over and gliding his
Speaker 1: penis inside her. Watching him in action became one of
Speaker 1: my favorite things to do. Last night was no different,
Speaker 1: well maybe a little different. And then you talk about
Speaker 1: your best friend. So wait, let me say something. Before
Speaker 1: you I was reading this like, wait a minute, this
Speaker 1: be girl on. I had to be I've had to
Speaker 1: be m now. It didn't get to where it went
Speaker 1: when you guys, but we all had well we all don't.
Speaker 1: I don't know about everybody, but I've had a guy
Speaker 1: who I was just friends with that we had casual
Speaker 1: sex and I knew about. We talked about everything that
Speaker 1: he had going on in his sexual life with his
Speaker 1: big mama and other girls and blah blah blah, and
Speaker 1: it never bothered me. So there's a part in after
Speaker 1: this where it's so basically he was Yeah, he was
Speaker 1: with like basically like one of my closest girl friends
Speaker 1: or whatever. I think we started off as just like
Speaker 1: regular friends, like people, and you know how Philly talk,
Speaker 1: so I will always catch the case like I know you,
Speaker 1: I know you. I'm like, no, I'm not. So just
Speaker 1: like one day we was like and it just was
Speaker 1: we both the same sign, so it just was magical,
Speaker 1: like goddamn, like some real bomb no strings that had sex.
Speaker 1: So basically like it went from that to him like
Speaker 1: calling me like, oh, I'm with such a starchly she
Speaker 1: was like, Tina is so fucking sexy, like I wonder,
Speaker 1: And then we were have little three somethings, like random
Speaker 1: little threesomes with his random little chicks, and it didn't
Speaker 1: bother me. Because like in in a sense sexually, I'm
Speaker 1: like always I like to be in control, so I
Speaker 1: was able to control the situation. But that particular time
Speaker 1: that I talked about in penetration, it was his baby mom,
Speaker 1: and I think, like even now to this day, like
Speaker 1: I'm very I hate that I let our relationship get
Speaker 1: to that point because when it comes to her, it's
Speaker 1: not that I don't like I'm not. It's not a jealousy.
Speaker 1: It's just like Nigga, like how you had these kids
Speaker 1: with her and not with me. Feeling That's that's the thing.
Speaker 1: It's sex with When I read that part of the book,
Speaker 1: it's like you didn't know you had feelers until that
Speaker 1: that moment. I feel like when I had that three
Speaker 1: something with him and his baby mom, that's when I
Speaker 1: knew I loved him and that I let the ship
Speaker 1: go too far because I heard about all his stories
Speaker 1: to her and now you love making sacks because everybody
Speaker 1: was to me, we were still engaged. She was sir,
Speaker 1: So you didn't at touch him at all, like I
Speaker 1: kind of like made it gave him head a little bit,
Speaker 1: but it wasn't he did not he showed basically it
Speaker 1: wasn't I think that because like we had had we
Speaker 1: have had to talk talks about it because the bitch
Speaker 1: was requested to have three more than that, and I
Speaker 1: was just like, I'm not doing it because what I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna do is I'm not gonna be sitting there
Speaker 1: acting like because you like in that situation, like I
Speaker 1: had to kind of act like we never did it before.
Speaker 1: So if he fucked you, would you have been I
Speaker 1: would have felt better. So what are you gonna say, Alma?
Speaker 1: I was going to ask you was a woman like
Speaker 1: you less attractive or I never thought I'm not sexually
Speaker 1: attracted to her. But I think it was my relationship
Speaker 1: with him that made me even do it, because I
Speaker 1: really remember being in a parking lot like, bitch, you
Speaker 1: should just leave, but I was like I don't wanna, like,
Speaker 1: let me just go see what's gonna happen, because I
Speaker 1: didn't know how he was gonna And in my mind,
Speaker 1: I'm like, we always had three somethings like and they
Speaker 1: always mad popping, like I didn't think it was gonna
Speaker 1: be like any different from another, no different, but with
Speaker 1: her it was. And then what it did was it
Speaker 1: made like so much like, I don't have sex with
Speaker 1: him in her apartment, in her fucking bed. So I'm like,
Speaker 1: I ain't gonna get here, and you're gonna realized I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna say here. We didn't gonna sit here and
Speaker 1: act like did y'all ever have a three seven him?
Speaker 1: Not fuck the girl that you hadn't say someone? So
Speaker 1: that's what it was now. She was a reverse like
Speaker 1: he was trying to like save her feeling, right, because
Speaker 1: not for nothing when we do have sex, it's like
Speaker 1: intensely because she didn't know that y'all were already having
Speaker 1: the first off everybody, right, she was like they was wrong.
Speaker 1: They was all they was doing anything and then supposed
Speaker 1: it was. It was so not know what that y'all
Speaker 1: already had and I mean we we was already having
Speaker 1: sex for years before this happened. It's just such this thing.
Speaker 1: It's sex with no strings attached because people always say
Speaker 1: that we had sex for years with no strings attached,
Speaker 1: but clearly that that was a string. I think the
Speaker 1: string got attached that night, right like, but it was
Speaker 1: a task before that. It was because I talk about
Speaker 1: string was attached. It was the first time I would
Speaker 1: have to you know it because really, whenever you have
Speaker 1: sex with it, you've been into that place. What it
Speaker 1: is you know? You can't you know, I've been in
Speaker 1: that girl fifty times. You can't say that I've been
Speaker 1: you've been inside her. That's it's not a strange. That
Speaker 1: is an attachment. That's what playboys do, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean? Like they forget your name, but they know
Speaker 1: I had her. That's in you. That ain't know a
Speaker 1: strange attached. That is an attachment, penetration, that's realtration. In fact,
Speaker 1: I like that because I'm a penetrator to mentally, I'm penetrated.
Speaker 1: I'm a avery, So I'm trying to penetrate your mind.
Speaker 1: So it's like the reason why I right, I want
Speaker 1: to penetrate your mind, So I use the same words
Speaker 1: your that to be there. It ain't no you know,
Speaker 1: no stranger attached. Did you like my book? Did you
Speaker 1: read my book? Did you read your mind? And but
Speaker 1: in your generation, like when this out, that's what y'all
Speaker 1: was able to do, like even on it, like on
Speaker 1: the writing, like business side, like as a woman, like
Speaker 1: now I'm trying to get into like in my mind,
Speaker 1: like I feel like I want to be legendary, like
Speaker 1: I want people to say these books change my life.
Speaker 1: Where there is this how y'all was, But it's harder now.
Speaker 1: It's harder than definitely people not reading put it down
Speaker 1: at the time I opened it. I'm straight cocky with
Speaker 1: social media, like y'all could be on social media or
Speaker 1: you want, but you want to like when people be
Speaker 1: acting like they don't want to read, I'm like, read
Speaker 1: the first page. You know what I'm gonna tell you.
Speaker 1: So I'm gonna tell you something. Books are the most
Speaker 1: intimate art form. I'm gonna tell you what. When you
Speaker 1: go to the movies, you're talking trash to the movie.
Speaker 1: I would do this, and I would do that. When
Speaker 1: you listen to music, you're vibing when you become engaging
Speaker 1: your mind. Brothers don't read when you read it, but
Speaker 1: it's no lying you're reading it like damn, because there's
Speaker 1: no it's bad. But that's what I don't like. That's
Speaker 1: where I was with Penetration, Like I'm gonna be so
Speaker 1: transparent because every female to read this book to feel
Speaker 1: like damn, I did that should have been here before.
Speaker 1: It may not tell you reading that book that oh
Speaker 1: my gosh, you know me, oh my god and everything.
Speaker 1: I like reading books really, and I said, you know,
Speaker 1: I still read all the time, so at the book club. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and the book club. And I'm not a master for
Speaker 1: the New York Public Library. I loved that though, because
Speaker 1: if we don't read, how you gonna know? Like the
Speaker 1: audio is cool, it's crazy. Need to hold it in
Speaker 1: my hand. I got my put out the screenplay for Floger.
Speaker 1: It's excellent. You get in Amazon, you get it Barns
Speaker 1: and Nobles. I book right now. I had twenty one
Speaker 1: girls auditioned for Succines. One dude, and I know it's
Speaker 1: they don't read. Yeah, no, corny dude. We're talking feeling right.
Speaker 1: The dudes as cool as ever. Dudes won't read nothing
Speaker 1: I got to read. So now I'm thinking, how can
Speaker 1: I cast the dude who won't screening. I'm not gonna
Speaker 1: spoon feeds you that. You gotta know you gotta be
Speaker 1: locking yourself out of the job because you I'm not.
Speaker 1: You won't be showing up trying to read the script.
Speaker 1: You hopefully read the script to you and read my script.
Speaker 1: That's crazy, like thirty years or like that's sick man,
Speaker 1: like your brothers pissed me off with that, and again
Speaker 1: I'm a Philadelphia so I get in your face, like, yo, dude,
Speaker 1: you don't read, and you're gonna try to act like
Speaker 1: it's cool. Like they apologize all the time. I ain't
Speaker 1: read it, but something every time they meet me, I
Speaker 1: want apologize. I don't read much. I'm like cool man,
Speaker 1: just it's you even say that I think it's very
Speaker 1: not think it's very sexy, you know, and something like yo,
Speaker 1: I don't write girls stuff. You just need to read more.
Speaker 1: I actually wrote more masculine books, but of course they
Speaker 1: sell less. I'm know a lot of guys every books
Speaker 1: with Darren Jail Jail I can't read when you're free, yeah,
Speaker 1: because then they get out there. I was shocked, like guys,
Speaker 1: like a lot of guys like I was getting like
Speaker 1: my uncle. My uncle was like close to my age,
Speaker 1: my great uncle, but he was like where the book
Speaker 1: because my homes was like this the book. You gotta
Speaker 1: keeping your car first. When I first opened the book,
Speaker 1: from the first encounter you had with the first guy,
Speaker 1: think you called them checks? Yeah, girl, it was a
Speaker 1: double edged dial though involved in this first story. So
Speaker 1: from that point on, I was like, yes, I got
Speaker 1: to keep reading because that's coming first. I mean, next girl,
Speaker 1: But it is crazy exactly. My point, life is crazy.
Speaker 1: What if it wasn't sexual when you kept reading it.
Speaker 1: I mean, Flagger wasn't sexually and I read it the
Speaker 1: same way from the beginning and the beginning she was
Speaker 1: at her birthday party, right, that's that's so cerebral, grow
Speaker 1: being come on, but she was a little girl. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: a little girl, and we wanted it just crazy grow
Speaker 1: up and becoming your mar started reading a book. It
Speaker 1: is so important what you put in those first few pages.
Speaker 1: That's gonna make you say I want this book or
Speaker 1: I'm not interested. Because our attention spans I felt like
Speaker 1: especially name like now like I wish like I wish
Speaker 1: I couldna put all volumes in one, But now it's
Speaker 1: two thousand nineteen, my little young my readers don't have
Speaker 1: that time. So I'm like, all right, I gotta spread
Speaker 1: it out because literally, like it's just not the same
Speaker 1: because I've read it in a few hours and I'm
Speaker 1: waiting for more. Yeah, but can I get to express it.
Speaker 1: I'm I mean, we're talking about, you know, just really
Speaker 1: not even have sex with those things attached. Have you
Speaker 1: ever thought you would be with a woman you didn't
Speaker 1: really want to be with her like that, but then
Speaker 1: you ended up falling for her just kind of like
Speaker 1: Senda did. Are No. I mean, I'm gonna know, like
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, if you already got a
Speaker 1: mental capacity and physical and then I'm just like I
Speaker 1: may think of other girls, but you're already there. But
Speaker 1: if I'm like this girl's never gonna get there with me. No,
Speaker 1: I'm just like a girl like no, man, because I can't.
Speaker 1: I'm not a liar. So at the end of the day,
Speaker 1: like you don't like me, I've been giving it to you.
Speaker 1: I've been doing this and I'm like, yo, man, I
Speaker 1: told you from day one like to be there and
Speaker 1: we're not moving there. But why waste your time sleeping
Speaker 1: with somebody that you wouldn't even be interested in? Pussy?
Speaker 1: He said, Yeah, seing with somebody you'll never be interested
Speaker 1: in like that sexuality. Man, story, I'm a full of story.
Speaker 1: I had a dude we went to in Central High
Speaker 1: School and Philly. We went on a skin trip and
Speaker 1: this dude was a good dude, football team dude, and
Speaker 1: he was sorry about dating good girls, and he had
Speaker 1: friends that was dating girls and just giving it up
Speaker 1: and he was. It was the funniest fact was he
Speaker 1: was like, yeah, man, I'm dating these girls I really
Speaker 1: like and they're like, yo, I'm about this girl. But
Speaker 1: so were both learning like you at the end of
Speaker 1: the day, you gotta practice. What you gotta do is
Speaker 1: a male So as you like, yo, man, I can't
Speaker 1: get nothing from the church lover, but I'm nineteen now,
Speaker 1: I gotta get something. Man, I gotta So you start like, yo,
Speaker 1: I gotta get this girl. You still date her right practice,
Speaker 1: So you learned that, man, like, I gotta otherwise I
Speaker 1: wanna be a virgin. And then the same grow up
Speaker 1: and spend all that time and girls are funny you've
Speaker 1: been with all the time, and she break up with
Speaker 1: you and and not still get it in two weeks,
Speaker 1: and you know, spend all that time because she's already
Speaker 1: talking about ego being hurt, you know. So no, a
Speaker 1: lot of guys learned, I gotta practice my body, and
Speaker 1: so girls become practice. That's what it is that happens.
Speaker 1: You start practicing too much and call you're calling the
Speaker 1: f buddy. That's what it called that. Yeah, yeah. Episode.
Speaker 1: You know, we always play this game where you have
Speaker 1: to guess who said it? Right, out of the three
Speaker 1: of us, you have to guess which one of us
Speaker 1: had this story. And the story was she was cheating
Speaker 1: on her boyfriend, so she had to pretend that she
Speaker 1: was going out because there was a guy at her house,
Speaker 1: and she got dressed, drove around the black to pretend
Speaker 1: she was going somewhere to make the guy leaves so
Speaker 1: that her boyfriend could come over. Which one of us
Speaker 1: you think did that? If you had to guess, gut
Speaker 1: of the three of us, I got for you. Okay, shea,
Speaker 1: you guessed me? Who do you think it was? I
Speaker 1: will to the story. I'm going to instincts and you
Speaker 1: did that. Yeah it happened. Yeah, I thought you wasn't gonna.
Speaker 1: But because everybody, we do this every week and usually
Speaker 1: people guess wrong. It's the first that note got me.
Speaker 1: I think I tell the story to just look at
Speaker 1: your eyes. And then she put on a like innocent
Speaker 1: but you got bright orange, no's girl. But listen, you
Speaker 1: get somebody out of the house when you want them
Speaker 1: to leave, and they won't you about yeah anything or
Speaker 1: or you know that's my girlfriends like girling like seven seconds,
Speaker 1: keep blowing my phone up. Yeah, I'd be like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, just like my sisters getting on my nerves.
Speaker 1: You know, some guys to be like, well I wait
Speaker 1: here till you get back, so you won't get out.
Speaker 1: I don't say that. That's my daughter. I mean, guys,
Speaker 1: y'all have on this show, like when y'all do y'all
Speaker 1: a lot of guys do y'all have some book questions
Speaker 1: that they read like, well, it depends on so y'all
Speaker 1: never have book guys, and they don't. You know what
Speaker 1: crazier it is y'all can't invite a book. Was actually
Speaker 1: with Fatally falls. That's crazy. Second Frank, Third, right, Frank.
Speaker 1: He was a guy. I'm gonna tell yourself. I wasn't
Speaker 1: oapen one something. You know. I was out there and
Speaker 1: the black Mail dron as he was interviewing me, and
Speaker 1: we're having a drink afterwards, and he's like, oh pain, yeah,
Speaker 1: black dude. But here's the point. The point he started
Speaker 1: talking about us being writers, and he was like, how
Speaker 1: did your friends feel about? Like, come on, man, my
Speaker 1: friends don't even He was like, yeah, we're like Martians.
Speaker 1: We are really men who? Right, black man? It's crazy
Speaker 1: like we're in your twenty nineteen and you start talking
Speaker 1: about writing as an intellectual and it's like you like
Speaker 1: one of the dudes on the moon, like you really
Speaker 1: do that. In fact, when my my wife we was
Speaker 1: in Delaware, people are asking are you married to a
Speaker 1: white man? Because you know, oh my god, like and
Speaker 1: I feel like we had at theres we even had
Speaker 1: who was the buck he had with the sun about
Speaker 1: gay and look at that? Look at you? Look at
Speaker 1: but I bet you million and a million a yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: there can't date. And the next book was going to
Speaker 1: be something with gay. So now so now as I
Speaker 1: head into movie writing, I already know I'm gonna blow
Speaker 1: it out because brothers can't read like I didn't right
Speaker 1: like that. So now I'm like all the hip hop dudes,
Speaker 1: all the app they can't write. So I'm not yo,
Speaker 1: I'm about to kill it. I think, yeah, I bring
Speaker 1: your stories, sad I saw. I'm looking at that like, dude,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna make all the money. So I'm looking at
Speaker 1: that like I got to go on that because nobody
Speaker 1: else can do that. Now they're doing freestyle and they
Speaker 1: don't even write with the rap they get high, they
Speaker 1: don't even write it down there like somebody got writ
Speaker 1: it down, You're gonna get publishing credits. Somebody got write
Speaker 1: it down her Storytelle, I got you, I got you,
Speaker 1: because that's my goal. My goal was to tell the
Speaker 1: story of different women, like like I never really was
Speaker 1: I never really read a lot of fiction. I read
Speaker 1: like me to people all the biographies, I'm really interesting
Speaker 1: because I just feel like especially women, like it's women
Speaker 1: that go through hell and hot water and turn out
Speaker 1: on top and it's so inspiring and it just sends
Speaker 1: chills through my body. So my goal is to tell
Speaker 1: the story of different women, and I like like to
Speaker 1: tell it the way I like to tell it. You
Speaker 1: know how long we've been on this show talking about
Speaker 1: me writing a book, Well, I'm calling you tomorrow. Yes,
Speaker 1: I always all people like even if because obviously you
Speaker 1: feel like you're not a writer. I'm not. But get
Speaker 1: a drag again to and then this show for four years, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: a while consistent with it. Yeah, a lot of stuff
Speaker 1: don't last long. Now man, it's like it's yeah, you know,
Speaker 1: I'm tired of that. I got the new thing is
Speaker 1: everything is trending. But that's because they talk about things
Speaker 1: that's current. They talk about things that's talk about sex
Speaker 1: said relationship, like things that's going on right now, because
Speaker 1: you you could get lost in the bs, but in reality,
Speaker 1: like and that's why I'm still writing. Because everybody like, oh,
Speaker 1: you write books, they'd be so like impressed. I'm like, hello,
Speaker 1: I grew up reading books, so I want to be
Speaker 1: I want to tell you stories because those stories is important.
Speaker 1: Those stories like people when I was growing up shout
Speaker 1: off the Sterry Woods two who's from Philly Gods used
Speaker 1: to be like you just like the girl in the book,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, what book? I don't even know what
Speaker 1: they were talking about. Made me go get the book.
Speaker 1: I like her, Yeah, but I got called us you
Speaker 1: know what I mean, the writer. I was being this
Speaker 1: person I was doing all this. So it's just like
Speaker 1: we need to read. We need to because reading its
Speaker 1: fundamental is educational and everybody has a story, and your
Speaker 1: story is valid. I tell people that all the time,
Speaker 1: like you don't know what's going to be. I'm sitting
Speaker 1: there now that my confidence had to be because my
Speaker 1: boys from I played football, I fought. I'm a regular
Speaker 1: Philadelphia and said, man, you write you ain't no Stephen
Speaker 1: King was join but I had that cost because and
Speaker 1: then then check this out. We was on South Street
Speaker 1: and Philadelphia and my friend like, Yo, you're blowing up. Man,
Speaker 1: you're blowing up, and like I'm still cool, Like no,
Speaker 1: I'm cool. That's oh my sad, Like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: you're telling you And they still didn't read my books.
Speaker 1: They just do exactly. Argument with one of my male friends,
Speaker 1: like how do you be acting like you support me
Speaker 1: and then you don't even read my book? Do you
Speaker 1: think that Hollywood wants to do these movies now because
Speaker 1: you do have these screenplays and they see that they
Speaker 1: all money. Dude, they don't care about nothing. It's sad,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. So we gotta fight tooth
Speaker 1: and that right now with FLYG, I wrote the screenplay,
Speaker 1: but I got how all would people want to write
Speaker 1: their own because they don't want to pay me. They
Speaker 1: want to write the I didn't wrote an excellent screenplay,
Speaker 1: but they trying to figure out how to give that
Speaker 1: people money and I'm supposed to disagree with that. So now, like,
Speaker 1: how are you gonna tell me and my daughter story
Speaker 1: more than better. Right, It's like, right now I'm looking
Speaker 1: at Jordan Peo telling his horror stories. I look at
Speaker 1: Tyler Perry. He's wanted to look at you know, the
Speaker 1: people that can control that. And it's not an eagle thing.
Speaker 1: It's getting it done thing, man. Five years and it
Speaker 1: ain't got done. So now I jumped in front of you,
Speaker 1: trying to push me out the way. Again focus went
Speaker 1: to ever whatever happened to them? Yeah, listen, I have
Speaker 1: a question for you, Amar. This screenplay for f excellent.
Speaker 1: If you could choose you're Tracy, who would it be? Oh?
Speaker 1: Y'are Shahiti already? So I love this is what you
Speaker 1: on something. When she was first on TV, I'll never
Speaker 1: tell you a lot of black girls ain't on TV, man,
Speaker 1: We ain't on TV. So when I saw her on
Speaker 1: Black ISSU and two dollar fourteen, I said, Yo, she
Speaker 1: could be Tracy. She had the look, she had the
Speaker 1: sassy little attitude. I said she could be Tracy and
Speaker 1: I stuck with it from the I don't know she
Speaker 1: was gonna blow up like now. I sold her from
Speaker 1: day one. But we don't get that many opportunities on
Speaker 1: white girls all all the TV. We don't have on
Speaker 1: my opportunities. Hispanic girls ain't on TV like that, So
Speaker 1: I picked her like she had the look, she had
Speaker 1: the sass, she's on TV boom, but the tracy things
Speaker 1: like she she got that extra phully thing because you
Speaker 1: Williams shirt down down. Yea, we do have enough the character.
Speaker 1: They even have u MC TV, which is all telling
Speaker 1: black stories and it's you know, but see that I'm
Speaker 1: telling if you are a Shahiti, did this flag girl is?
Speaker 1: It's I kind of you know what I mean. But
Speaker 1: some people like that's a little too They would do
Speaker 1: standing ovation. But I already know you know, but what
Speaker 1: about staying with stuff like Netflix and stuff like that
Speaker 1: out You can't just put your own together. I want
Speaker 1: the big screen like some that were bigger screen. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm not saying that it's not, But what I'm saying
Speaker 1: is there was huge, mongous successful Netflix thing like what's
Speaker 1: the Blind? What was the thing where everybody the bird um?
Speaker 1: That was big? You know what I mean? That was
Speaker 1: like broke records. So that's all I'm saying. There's other outlets.
Speaker 1: If you gotta wait five years for something to come out,
Speaker 1: wouldn't you rather just give up? No? You don't give
Speaker 1: up another fly Girls big. It was the one that
Speaker 1: started everything. It needs to be big. And you guys
Speaker 1: understand that I'm known in Canada, the Caribbean, the UK.
Speaker 1: You know, I'm not like someone you've ever seen. They
Speaker 1: don't know. I think people you do a whole international
Speaker 1: tour with fly Girl, they man, So I'm waiting for that.
Speaker 1: I'm not one to do because you don't meet people.
Speaker 1: The same with the books, right dors Is physical were
Speaker 1: signing books. We're going to it's physical book. That's how
Speaker 1: when I go to actual events and people, I feel
Speaker 1: like we're wearing my story and hear me talk. I
Speaker 1: sell a lot of every book on the tape. But
Speaker 1: it's harder to like, I mean, it's so hard. It's
Speaker 1: like social media all that stuff. Like I primarily was
Speaker 1: using social media to tell my daughter story to inspire people.
Speaker 1: Like it wasn't about me. It never was about me,
Speaker 1: but now it was like now I had to shoot
Speaker 1: the trailer. I had to do this, I had to
Speaker 1: do that. Like I got the opportunity to do this,
Speaker 1: which I'm so thankful for. But it's like I don't
Speaker 1: talk about it. You don't know about it. Let's talk
Speaker 1: about something else though in real life and relate some
Speaker 1: things to real life. Let's take about changing your phone number,
Speaker 1: because you could fall in love with somebody so much
Speaker 1: that you've got to change everything, change your phone number.
Speaker 1: Have y'all done that? I had this. I have the
Speaker 1: same phone number for like sixteen years. Y'all know how
Speaker 1: much I changed my damn you did that number? I
Speaker 1: did it one time for one one man. It was
Speaker 1: just like, um, I had started doing reality TV and
Speaker 1: it was like all these old guys is popping back
Speaker 1: up and all, oh, it was always a different argument.
Speaker 1: So I finally just like, forget it, I'm gonna change
Speaker 1: my number. These half of them wasn't calling me before
Speaker 1: they see me on TV, so I really didn't care,
Speaker 1: and I was like really in love. So I changed
Speaker 1: my number. But after like a year, I was like,
Speaker 1: why the fund did that? There was like there was
Speaker 1: a couple of people that I was like, I lost
Speaker 1: touch you because I didn't save nobody number and nothing.
Speaker 1: I debt in my phone, changed my number. Everything like
Speaker 1: fun everybody in the phone and then easy to find.
Speaker 1: But this was like, but you did change your number.
Speaker 1: At a point where I changed my number to be
Speaker 1: like submissive not never again. Yeah, well, most recently I
Speaker 1: changed my number. He want my boyfriend wanted me to
Speaker 1: change my number because we were fresh off from a
Speaker 1: break up and back together. And I didn't do it
Speaker 1: because he wanted me to do it. I did it
Speaker 1: because I started getting prank phone calls from random weirdos.
Speaker 1: It was penis because he wanted you to change together
Speaker 1: your numbers. So I don't know if they were calling
Speaker 1: my eye cloud, but it was FaceTime calls where they
Speaker 1: were calling me and I would answer and it would
Speaker 1: be like a penis. So you needed that you had
Speaker 1: this show. So that's the last time I changed my
Speaker 1: number in the hood, like changing your number like somebody though,
Speaker 1: like last change your number? Four dude, Like oh my
Speaker 1: number and girls are sending me pictures of vaginas and
Speaker 1: I guts to change that enough, but like because you're
Speaker 1: know what a man like I still got you know
Speaker 1: what I mean relations Like yo, what the hell are
Speaker 1: you doing stuff doing? Now? I who this person was?
Speaker 1: They were like that a light skin deck, a dark
Speaker 1: skin white. He was white white. Yes you could have
Speaker 1: just blocked I mean I couldn't, but he was he
Speaker 1: was calling me on FaceTime from an email address, so
Speaker 1: he could have just kept calling from different Yeah, that's
Speaker 1: when you have a guy into him like what are
Speaker 1: you doing? But also in the in the in the
Speaker 1: spirit of keeping it all the way one hundred, because
Speaker 1: y'all know that's what I do. I was actually happy
Speaker 1: to change my number because I wanted to soothe my
Speaker 1: boyfriend of all of the issues that he was having
Speaker 1: with us have coming off of a breakup and me
Speaker 1: and back together. So it was like perfect time for
Speaker 1: me to change my number. It all worked out. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Like you just want to like not appease them, but
Speaker 1: like show him like I'm ready, I'm committed. I'm in
Speaker 1: a hundred. But it was because it is probably because
Speaker 1: of that. Man. Sorry, I noticed something that you want,
Speaker 1: So I'm gonna just go in. And I ever asked
Speaker 1: someone sorry? Have you ever asked someone to change? No,
Speaker 1: I'm not even that number of stuff. Man, Like you
Speaker 1: know the past boyfriends, all that you're done with? Dude,
Speaker 1: with him, stop calling you know what I mean? Like
Speaker 1: you need me to talk to him. I'm that dude.
Speaker 1: Like I talked to him, your dude, don't calling him more. Man,
Speaker 1: she's done with you. I'm not trying to be rock
Speaker 1: and nothing like that. Like, but why you're gonna keep
Speaker 1: calling it? I mean like you're being a lockey now, dude,
Speaker 1: like leave her along with new I mean, somebody follow somebody.
Speaker 1: But I never asked nobody to change that. I wouldn't
Speaker 1: do that. I'm like you, why are you step? Why
Speaker 1: you like I don't send like a likes like damn,
Speaker 1: I'm like you was on her dick? Did your wife
Speaker 1: expects you to be faithful? Man? Look here, you already
Speaker 1: know you know you're tight. You already trouble. So my
Speaker 1: wife talking about being a rider dome and being you
Speaker 1: know and so. But I'm old school, so I'm like,
Speaker 1: I know young girls can't take you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: just like you can't take it. So when you're a
Speaker 1: wife of a dude that's a type eight dude is
Speaker 1: getting money doing, you gotta be able to take it.
Speaker 1: So I'm like, young girl, like you can't handle I'm
Speaker 1: telling you right now, you can't handle it. So I'm
Speaker 1: gonna stay with the woman just like you know, because
Speaker 1: she can deal with it, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: She can old the house down. So I'm not another
Speaker 1: leaving young girl, Like, yo, girl, I'm not leaving my wife,
Speaker 1: but I'm not saying that she especially to leave it.
Speaker 1: But does she expects you to be faithful? Or is
Speaker 1: she does she accept that? Like, okay, expect her and
Speaker 1: met you to be faithful. That was a long time ago,
Speaker 1: mantle time ago. Man, I'm fast that now we're like,
Speaker 1: we're a family and we're gonna be a family. So
Speaker 1: you have to go through things and then that's all
Speaker 1: and it's just part of being honest again, Like you
Speaker 1: don't have to talk about that, you know, Like I've
Speaker 1: been hearing this whole Will Smith and Jada pink open
Speaker 1: thing forever. But the reality is when you were type
Speaker 1: A dude, you that's what it is. Like we've set
Speaker 1: up where we want to do everybody, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean. When Drake first came out, every girl in
Speaker 1: the world, and I'm sitting there thinking like that, you know,
Speaker 1: but you know my ex boyfriend's mom telling me that
Speaker 1: men stop cheating when they just get older and they're
Speaker 1: too tired to run around. It's just not there's just
Speaker 1: not even yea somewhere do I seem like I'm tired
Speaker 1: right now? Not yet, but you still going on he
Speaker 1: sucking something else that. But then you start talking about
Speaker 1: I'm just saying, I'm gonna throw a couple of names
Speaker 1: that y'all you have I thought about the start talking
Speaker 1: about Quincy Jones, start talking about dudes that we got energy.
Speaker 1: It's just that's black man with money running around his
Speaker 1: joint right to you're them too. But we got talking
Speaker 1: about the black man because you may never say that
Speaker 1: side of your race. I've had sex with people outside
Speaker 1: of my race. But so in the book, let's go
Speaker 1: back to the book. In the books, the guy that
Speaker 1: you met in the casino, he was white right on
Speaker 1: with the city, the one with the book fetish. Yeah yeah,
Speaker 1: yeah yeah. But that wasn't no no, no, no, he
Speaker 1: must he would he would, no, no, no. Book. One
Speaker 1: of my guy friends was a pet. He's not a
Speaker 1: pimp no more. But I used to take his holes
Speaker 1: to the casino and watch them for him because he
Speaker 1: couldn't go. So that's my right. The beginning of the book,
Speaker 1: it opens up in Atlantic City, because I used to
Speaker 1: be the girl that drove like I would drive over
Speaker 1: Atlantic City and like make sure the wholes got back safe.
Speaker 1: So I was exposed to let's got to do it,
Speaker 1: but he couldn't do it no more because it would
Speaker 1: be but like it happened to one of them, what
Speaker 1: was you gonna have the money? He would give me
Speaker 1: cash to like if the guy she meant safe from
Speaker 1: the cop. Just you go up there and do you
Speaker 1: know at this time, I mean you're hearing you better.
Speaker 1: It was never a Thank God, it was never no
Speaker 1: incidence on my wife. But I don't be exposed to
Speaker 1: another part of you know, like as in the hood
Speaker 1: in Philly, you know, you get to get boys to
Speaker 1: give you money for hair and nell's and recreation. I
Speaker 1: didn't know that it was actually a way to get
Speaker 1: money from men for not doing anything, just talking to them.
Speaker 1: So like I would be around his girls and they
Speaker 1: would teach me like how to finesse, Like no, she,
Speaker 1: this is what you gotta do. This is what you
Speaker 1: gotta and listen. And those girls was getting mad money
Speaker 1: doing nothing nothing. It was doing something. They had the
Speaker 1: mental Yeah, but that's how I learned my girl book Mercedes,
Speaker 1: that's a classic role. She got that mental gal my
Speaker 1: friends like your mom my mom. I got that from
Speaker 1: my mom. I learned it from my mom. But the
Speaker 1: white guy um in there that I had my first
Speaker 1: encounter with as far as like being like, I guess
Speaker 1: a trick and the hole. Unfortunately, um, he just wanted
Speaker 1: to ejaculate on my books. So I made a lot
Speaker 1: of money off of him. That's easy. Was clean up
Speaker 1: she was. But he just gave me like he gave
Speaker 1: me like some like I'm like, I'm going in this
Speaker 1: bitch in the trench code like this mother bus on
Speaker 1: these cities I'm coming like and I was young, and
Speaker 1: it was just like oh ship, like he was giving
Speaker 1: me money to do. Like also, you know different, I'm
Speaker 1: listening to you talk right now as a Philadelphian and
Speaker 1: like I'm doing this cast and stuff and it's like
Speaker 1: they think we're so hard, but I'm just like we
Speaker 1: just straightforward. Man. People just shipped forward. And she from
Speaker 1: the hood, Like no, I'm just from just like we
Speaker 1: from the hood and you know we just played it's
Speaker 1: cousin or whatever right here. Well listen, Yeah, I want
Speaker 1: to thank you guys for coming so many great books
Speaker 1: that people need to read by you. But Flat Girl
Speaker 1: is the one because this is the way that said
Speaker 1: everything off. This is the screenplay that you have done
Speaker 1: trying to get back. Bonds are normal if the screenplay
Speaker 1: is off the chart, man, that's the best. We need
Speaker 1: some guys to audition. Yeah, yes, we need guys to audition.
Speaker 1: We need you to read. Gotta read. I'm trying to
Speaker 1: get guys right now. I gotta find me a young
Speaker 1: asap Rockey to play the main role. Asap Rocket is
Speaker 1: a smooth looking dude. He's I love hall of Him.
Speaker 1: He got that hall him swag. So now it's like,
Speaker 1: I gotta find a dude that could that role is
Speaker 1: vicious man, that victor role because it's slow, it's Philadelphia slick.
Speaker 1: You gotta be that role. What's gonna be job so dude, Like,
Speaker 1: as soon as you play this role, you're gonna be
Speaker 1: a sex symbol. Yeah forever. People can't read your lives.
Speaker 1: I'm like, dude, I can't use you, man, you can't.
Speaker 1: You gotta know your lines because that's a lot of lines.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, he got And where can people get
Speaker 1: penetration value one? You can get penetration Value one from
Speaker 1: I Am Sheena e dot com because that money comes
Speaker 1: straight to the house and we got kids defeat or
Speaker 1: you can get it on Amazon. The e book is
Speaker 1: available on Amazon. You can read it on the train,
Speaker 1: read it in your car, and get your girlfriend to
Speaker 1: read it to you if you can't read. And you
Speaker 1: can get all my books if you look under Sheena Edwards,
Speaker 1: all my amazing books that I've written, self published. I
Speaker 1: don't have nobody back and meet. This money comes from
Speaker 1: my household to the streets. Is for y'all. It's all homegrown.
Speaker 1: I'm a very humble, single parents, self published author. Everything
Speaker 1: is on Amazon. Look up author Shea Edwards. I am
Speaker 1: Sheena dot com or no, I'm on Instagram. I am
Speaker 1: Sheena under school or e if you want to hit
Speaker 1: me up and I can send it to you. All
Speaker 1: My bookship out the next day, West Philadelphia morning right
Speaker 1: killing out a job my neighbor. Let's service Billy Edition.
Speaker 1: At you come, ye, you gotta