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Speaker 1: Let's talk to Patty and stier Goo. Good morning, Patty,

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Speaker 1: how are you welcome?

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Speaker 2: I'm okay, Good morning everyone.

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Speaker 1: So I'm looking at your story that you sent us,

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Speaker 1: and this is a very very long story. So how

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Speaker 1: do we rather than I read this, you know, reading

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Speaker 1: this whole thing, how do we condense this into like

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Speaker 1: a couple of minutes.

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Speaker 3: What's going on? What do you need advice about?

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Speaker 1: And by the way, at the very bottom of this,

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Speaker 1: it says I've gone to therapy, read it and church

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Speaker 1: for clarity, but I can't seem to figure it out,

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Speaker 1: which is why I'm calling you. Wow. Wow, you must

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Speaker 1: be desperate. You went to church and they can't solve

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Speaker 1: the problem, so you call the Fred Show.

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Speaker 3: This is good.

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Speaker 1: Please tell us what's going on. We're going to solve

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Speaker 1: the problem right now, all right.

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Speaker 4: Fred, I hope.

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Speaker 2: So, but I'm it's been a lot the last couple

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Speaker 2: of months, so I'll try to sum it up as

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Speaker 2: best I can. It was a couple of months ago,

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Speaker 2: over my birthday, I had family and friends over the

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Speaker 2: plan which they have dinner at my house and then

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Speaker 2: go out to the casino for drinks to end the night.

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Speaker 2: Were relieving, We were trying to get people out of

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Speaker 2: the house so we could lock up. I wasn't being

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Speaker 2: successful in that, so my fiance I was getting a

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Speaker 2: bit impatient and kindly told everyone to get the f

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Speaker 2: out of the house, which I didn't care for. But

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Speaker 2: there was one person that took that personally, and it

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Speaker 2: wasn't directed at anyone, anyone in particularly, but my maid

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Speaker 2: of honor took it very personal. She let that affect

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Speaker 2: her entire night, and I believe there was a couple

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Speaker 2: other things that was going on that led up to

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Speaker 2: a blow up between her and my fiance. So she

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Speaker 2: decided to confront him twards the end of the night,

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Speaker 2: after she'd been drinking. My fiance didn't drink too much,

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Speaker 2: so he was sober for the most part. That consumptation

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Speaker 2: didn't go very well. You know, in her perspective, he

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Speaker 2: was being rude, became like his apology wasn't sincere, and

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Speaker 2: then she and up blowing up on him and telling

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Speaker 2: him that he's a pos, he doesn't deserve me, and

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Speaker 2: that she can't be in a wedding where she doesn't

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Speaker 2: support the groom.

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Speaker 1: So, okay, your best friend and your fiance do not

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Speaker 1: like each other at this point, like he thinks that

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Speaker 1: she's I don't know. They each believe they deserve an

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Speaker 1: apology from the other for whatever, and up.

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Speaker 2: Until this point, there was never an issue, So that

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Speaker 2: blow up was completely at a field. So my fiance

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Speaker 2: had zero problems with her. My made of honor. I

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Speaker 2: know there was like I don't want to say like dislike,

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Speaker 2: but she has her opinions, but I truly believe it's

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Speaker 2: because of other things that was going on in her

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Speaker 2: life that led up to all of this. But he's

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Speaker 2: taking her words very seriously and doesn't want her in

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Speaker 2: the wedding, which is heartbreaking to me, But I also

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Speaker 2: understand like his feelings. I've always validated how he felt

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Speaker 2: he wasn't in the wrong all of that, and me

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Speaker 2: and her have talked and we spoke about that night

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Speaker 2: and we've me and her essentially were able to kind

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Speaker 2: of get past it, but he wasn't. She's also reached

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Speaker 2: out sentiment apology. He won't accept it because he truly

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Speaker 2: feels like he thought he knew her and he doesn't.

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Speaker 2: Clearly she doesn't support us, so why would he want

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Speaker 2: someone there that doesn't support us? And you know, I

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Speaker 2: tried to explain that that's she was drunk. She said

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Speaker 2: some things she shouldn't have. She didn't mean it. But

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Speaker 2: it doesn't matter what I say, how I spin it.

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Speaker 2: He is so adamant that she shouldn't be there.

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Speaker 3: I just want to sum this up.

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Speaker 1: So, at the root of this, this is a dispute

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Speaker 1: between your best friend and your fiance. You believe that

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Speaker 1: your best friend was in the wrong, so you're supporting

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Speaker 1: your fiance in this example, she's apologized, but he doesn't

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Speaker 1: like the apology, and so at the end, at the

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Speaker 1: end of all this, it's he doesn't want her in

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Speaker 1: the wedding. You don't want to lose your best friend

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Speaker 1: and your maid of honor. So it's like, who do

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Speaker 1: you choose here? Basically? That is that that's the question, right,

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Speaker 1: Like how do you navigate this?

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Speaker 5: Right?

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Speaker 2: Like, she's been in my life for twenty plus years

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Speaker 2: and I've been with my fiance for seven.

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Speaker 1: Years and he's about to be your husband. So it's like, cana,

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Speaker 1: what are we going to say?

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Speaker 6: I'm sorry, Oh yeah, I don't know if I missed this,

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Speaker 6: forgive me, but did you mention the prior issue that

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Speaker 6: they had with each other? About when you were drunk

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Speaker 6: and he put you to bed and she wanted to

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Speaker 6: see you and he wasn't, oh, letting you her see you.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, So me, me and her, we have a good

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Speaker 2: time together. We always drink and we typically we take

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Speaker 2: care of each other right when we go out. And

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Speaker 2: we had friends over for for some holiday and I

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Speaker 2: blacked out, so my fance put me to bed. She

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Speaker 2: wanted to come in and talk to me, and he's like, no,

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Speaker 2: just let lea her alone. She needs to go to bed.

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Speaker 2: And they argued about that, and she didn't like that.

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Speaker 2: She's very she can be confrontational and when she gets

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Speaker 2: told that no, she she doesn't accept it all the time.

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Speaker 2: But there was that spat and then a couple other

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Speaker 2: things that went on that night that she didn't agree with.

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Speaker 3: But okay, well let me let me do this.

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Speaker 1: Let me take some phone calls on this, patty, and

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Speaker 1: let's see what other people have to say. Eight five

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Speaker 1: five five three five. I'm sorry going through this, and

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Speaker 1: keep the radio on the iHeart Apple whatever, and let's

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Speaker 1: see what what people come up with, and and and

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Speaker 1: then we'll get back with you and see what you think.

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Speaker 2: Okay, all right, sound good thank you, good luck.

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Speaker 3: Have a good day. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So basically what it comes down to you is a

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Speaker 1: spat between soon to be husband and made of honor

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Speaker 1: best friend. Who do you choose? I mean, she backs

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Speaker 1: her husband in this. It sounds like the friend has,

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Speaker 1: you know, maybe some attitude from time to time, or

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Speaker 1: drinks a little bit and then sort of acts up

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Speaker 1: and this kind of thing happens. It sounds like in

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Speaker 1: these examples, the husband was not influenced by alcohol as much,

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Speaker 1: and an alcohol can be the culprit in so many

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Speaker 1: of these kind of things. You know, we all know

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Speaker 1: people who are very very different when they drink, very

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Speaker 1: confrontational and combative and unaccountable. But you know, the bottom

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Speaker 1: line is she's taken her husband's side in this particular argument.

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Speaker 1: What I would say is why does why is it

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Speaker 1: that he has to stand on business here and say

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Speaker 1: she can't be in the wedding. I mean, that's a

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Speaker 1: long relationship. I feel like they don't have to hang out.

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Speaker 1: But I'm not sure that he should necessarily like make

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Speaker 1: a decision that will stand the test of time.

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Speaker 6: Well, yeah, the friend apologized, I mean, you know what

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Speaker 6: I mean, And he's choosing he said the apology wasn't

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Speaker 6: good enough. And I've been talking to her over the

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Speaker 6: course of like a month, and I feel like it's

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Speaker 6: interesting because I feel like maybe she's just working through

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Speaker 6: it all, but she's had different people. I feel like

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Speaker 6: that she's held accountable in the situation over the course

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Speaker 6: of our talks because I've been trying to like work

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Speaker 6: it out with her off you know, off air. So

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Speaker 6: it's it's it's interesting to me, But I don't know

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Speaker 6: why you wouldn't just accept an apology.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, they don't have to like each other,

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Speaker 1: but I mean, at the same time, I guess I

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Speaker 1: don't want to be the guy, no matter how much

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Speaker 1: I dislike the girl, I don't want to be the

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Speaker 1: guy who tells you you have to make a decision

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Speaker 1: that will probably affect the friendship forever, like maybe be

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Speaker 1: in the wedding. But maybe that's the compromise is, Hey,

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Speaker 1: I'm not telling you not to have her in the wedding,

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Speaker 1: but I don't like her and I don't want to

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Speaker 1: be around her, and so I'm not going to be

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Speaker 1: you know, maybe that's the boundary. But of course we

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Speaker 1: go to the text line and it's all kinds of theories.

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Speaker 3: He's sleeping with her. Oh, he's getting with her. That's

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Speaker 3: what this is all about, some deep history.

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Speaker 7: It has to be deeper than oh, they just got

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Speaker 7: into a little argument because he's the way he's standing

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Speaker 7: on Biuz and then the way she's like constantly challenging him,

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Speaker 7: and then like in the house together, it's it's too

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Speaker 7: much co mingling for me with friends, like this is

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Speaker 7: my man, you're my friend. You get in line, and

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Speaker 7: you get in line to support me on my big day.

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Speaker 6: Like they're both like kind of fault, it seems like.

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Speaker 6: And also I wouldn't love my fiance telling my family

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Speaker 6: and friends to get the f out.

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Speaker 3: Well, no, of the house.

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Speaker 7: I don't know he was out of line for that

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Speaker 7: for sure, But it's just like it has to be

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Speaker 7: something deeper going on.

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Speaker 1: That sounds like the kid in high school that has

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Speaker 1: the party and then it gets too big so he

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Speaker 1: calls the cops on himself.

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Speaker 3: That's what that sounds like.

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Speaker 1: Not that it ever happened to me, but one time,

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Speaker 1: one time I considered it, Hey, Yabby.

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Speaker 3: How you doing. Don't worry, Hey guys.

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Speaker 1: I get yaviy. You just heard the scenario here, and

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Speaker 1: I'll just recap it quickly. But the patty, this woman called,

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Speaker 1: she's about to get married. Her fiance and her best

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Speaker 1: friend slash made of honor do not get along. They've

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Speaker 1: had some confrontations. Made of honor, she admits, has a

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Speaker 1: bit of attitude and she takes her husband's side or

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Speaker 1: a fiance sad in this. But he's saying she can't

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Speaker 1: be in the wedding, and she's the fiance here is conflicted.

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Speaker 3: What do you think, Oh, well.

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Speaker 8: There's a couple of things here. You know, we need

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Speaker 8: to be comparasonal life here.

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Speaker 9: So first of all, she went to church and went

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Speaker 9: to everybody, and she's not liking the answers. Then she's

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Speaker 9: getting because bottom line, she needs to go. I mean,

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Speaker 9: the angry issues is causing around around people and everything

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Speaker 9: not acceptable and it's gonna get work down the line, guarantee,

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Speaker 9: trust me, I've been there. Don't get got a T shirt.

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Speaker 9: So about what's made about her, something is going to

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Speaker 9: happening over there, I mean, and she needs to listen

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Speaker 9: her God. If the God is telling you go live,

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Speaker 9: something is going on, it's because he's right, so not

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Speaker 9: because you have the wedding set up and all that stuff.

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Speaker 3: You have to stay.

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Speaker 2: So open your eyes though.

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Speaker 1: Okay, Gabby, Gabby says, open your eyes because this guy's

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Speaker 1: controlling and sadly you've been there, and I'm glad you're

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Speaker 1: not dealing with that anymore.

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Speaker 9: Red flax, opened your eyes, redflax all over.

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Speaker 1: You, Gabby. Are you out of that situation? I hope.

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Speaker 9: Oh yeah, thank god, I opened my eyes. I follow

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Speaker 9: Kiki's advice of saving saving money, say, and I got

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Speaker 9: out with my kids safety.

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Speaker 3: That's amazing. That's right. Yes, that's right.

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Speaker 1: Stand all stand all business, Gabby saying, I stood all business.

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Speaker 9: Open your eyes girl, the wedding, you can tell all.

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Speaker 8: The all the gifts. Your eyes.

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Speaker 4: Reflax all over for you.

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Speaker 1: Thank you for calling, calling any time, Have a good day,

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Speaker 1: good bye. I mean I don't know. Yeah, I'm conflicted

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Speaker 1: a little bit here. I don't like the controlling thing.

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Speaker 1: I also think he has a right to think that

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Speaker 1: she's not great as a friend or not not you know,

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Speaker 1: not always well behaved. And it sounds like even the

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Speaker 1: friend the fiance here, the best friend, agrees with that. Hey, Gina,

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Speaker 1: good morning morning, Hi, what do you think there?

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Speaker 8: Go First of all, I want to say I love

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Speaker 8: Gabby on the phone right now, great lady, Okay, My

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Speaker 8: opinion is my opinion honestly is I think that she

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Speaker 8: needs to tell her girl to back off no matter what.

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Speaker 8: Either she knows something on this dude or something's going on.

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Speaker 8: But I think she's got to respect the man that

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Speaker 8: she's gonna marry right now and you know, figure things out.

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Speaker 4: But I don't think he should tell her who can

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Speaker 4: stand by her side the day that he's gonna marry.

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Speaker 4: You know, she's going to marry him. You know, there's

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Speaker 4: a little bit of control there.

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Speaker 3: I don't. I don't like that. It is a red flag.

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Speaker 4: But the thing is is that she's got to stand

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Speaker 4: up on her own two feet and not hide behind

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Speaker 4: her girl or hide behind her man. She's got to

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Speaker 4: open her mouth.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I agree with that too. She needs to say

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Speaker 1: what she wants. And I think there's a way that

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Speaker 1: uh that everybody can be present. Obviously, he needs to

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Speaker 1: be present for his way.

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Speaker 5: If he loves her the way that she's explaining, then

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Speaker 5: you know what, he shouldn't be upset who's going to

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Speaker 5: stand beside her because at the end of the day,

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Speaker 5: she's had a twenty plus year friendship with this young lady,

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Speaker 5: So they're going to be friends probably for the rest

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Speaker 5: of their lives.

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Speaker 4: You got to cherish them friendships. But sometimes the friends

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Speaker 4: sees something that you don't because you're all up in

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Speaker 4: this marriage and you're thinking, oh, I'm going to get

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Speaker 4: married and this.

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Speaker 1: Is that.

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Speaker 3: Marriage. Thank you so much, thank you for calling a

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Speaker 3: great day.

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Speaker 1: We can't see, but we all we know, uh, we've

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Speaker 1: all been in that situation where we're dating somebody and

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Speaker 1: there's that one friend that is you know, yeah, she's

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Speaker 1: been around for years, but it doesn't make greatson and

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Speaker 1: then maybe they don't like you, and then maybe they

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Speaker 1: don't like you for the right reason. You know, we've

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Speaker 1: all been there before, and so at some point, you

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Speaker 1: know it's like, is this guy also standing on business saying,

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Speaker 1: wait a minute, you're marrying me, Like, and you disagree

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Speaker 1: with how she behaved yourself and you and you took

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Speaker 1: my side, so maybe you need to handle her as

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Speaker 1: opposed to talking to me about it, Like maybe it's

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Speaker 1: her thing to deal with.

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Speaker 7: Yeah, but you can also as an adult, limit your

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Speaker 7: interaction with that person, so you know how important she is.

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Speaker 7: To your fiance. You don't have to be her friend,

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Speaker 7: you don't have to co mingle with her. It would

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Speaker 7: just be you know, hey, we're gonna I'm sending some boundaries.

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Speaker 7: You're here to support my girl, and that I support

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Speaker 7: my girl, and let's just move on. I mean, somebody

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Speaker 7: has to be mature in the situation and be an adult.

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Speaker 7: This is all very childish in my opinion, Like, yeah,

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Speaker 7: the bride and the best friend, I mean, the groom

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Speaker 7: and the best friend need to be.

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Speaker 1: Checked because I've been in this situation before where a girl,

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Speaker 1: you know, a couple of girls were single for a

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Speaker 1: long time together and friends, and then I start dating

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Speaker 1: one of the girls, and you can tell that the

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Speaker 1: girl the other, the one who's now single, is less

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Speaker 1: upset about me and more upset about the fact that

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Speaker 1: she feels like she lost access to her friend. And

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Speaker 1: it almost feels like a little bit of sabotage because

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Speaker 1: of the jealousy. And you know, sometimes you kind of

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Speaker 1: have to check that and be like, hey, does this

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Speaker 1: woman not like me? Or does she not like what

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Speaker 1: I stand for? Yeah, and so in that and I

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Speaker 1: guess it's a little different than this, but at the

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Speaker 1: same time, it's like you kind of have to you

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Speaker 1: have to have that conversation and say, you know what,

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Speaker 1: what is the motive here? You know, why is it that?

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Speaker 1: Why do why don't we get along? Is it because

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Speaker 1: I was rude to her because I'm a bad person,

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Speaker 1: or because I'm bad to you, or because she doesn't

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Speaker 1: want you in a relationship, but she's not going to like.

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Speaker 3: Anybody, right.

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Speaker 10: I've been on the other side of that though, too,

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Speaker 10: of just like my friend getting into a relationship and

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Speaker 10: the dude not liking me just.

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Speaker 3: Because I exist. They think I'm a bad.

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Speaker 10: Influence because I'm single. I'm gonna go out on a

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Speaker 10: Friday night, your girl aka my best friend says she

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Speaker 10: wants to go. I'm like, okay, can calm like, I'm

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Speaker 10: not gonna say no. But then I'm the bad guy,

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Speaker 10: right or I'm the bad single influence. So it's like

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Speaker 10: I've been on that side of just like for no reason,

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Speaker 10: you don't like me, or because you're the man, the

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Speaker 10: boyfriend is jealous of our closeness because we are best teams.

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Speaker 10: I've been in that position and it sucks.

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Speaker 6: If my man kept my friend from seeing me drunk

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Speaker 6: passed out like that would really sit wrong with me.

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Speaker 6: What is my friend gonna do to me? Like, why

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Speaker 6: are you trying to gate keep me sleeping? Like if

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Speaker 6: she wants to talk to me, that's fine. She's been

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Speaker 6: in my life longer than you have.

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Speaker 3: It's weird.

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Speaker 5: I don't know.

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Speaker 3: That is a little weird. I agree with that too.

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Speaker 3: Uh let me see.

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Speaker 1: Hi, Dylan, Hey, fred Dylan, You're you're taking the side

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Speaker 1: here of the single and jealous friend.

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Speaker 11: I'm taking the side of all men everywhere. You don't

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Speaker 11: get represented in these conversations often.

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Speaker 3: I guess you're not taking the side.

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Speaker 1: I just you're taking the perspective that the friend is jealous.

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Speaker 1: So what do you think is going on here?

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Speaker 11: I mean, you know, I just think we all have

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Speaker 11: to take a step back first and think, well, no

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Speaker 11: relationships ever gonna work with an ultimatum ever, I mean

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Speaker 11: period and in two I mean, it just sounds like

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Speaker 11: the friend got a little drunk, got a little jealous,

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Speaker 11: and her jealousy got the best of her, and now

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Speaker 11: it's created this huge problem. I think her and a

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Speaker 11: friend just need to have a conversation about the changes

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Speaker 11: that happen in their relationship. Now that she's getting married. Obviously,

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Speaker 11: Brody's the step back a little bit and calm down.

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Speaker 11: But I think the friend is realizing she's not gonna

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Speaker 11: have her best friend to go get drunk with on

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Speaker 11: Friday nights every Friday night, and they're gonna have kids

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Speaker 11: and blah blah blah. You know what I mean. Life's

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Speaker 11: gonna go on, but she's gonna be single.

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Speaker 3: Friends.

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Speaker 1: You know, it sounds like this is maybe a transition

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Speaker 1: that the best friends having a hard time with.

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Speaker 3: And it's you know, it's.

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Speaker 1: Not putting the best taste in the fiance's mouth, and

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Speaker 1: so it's the whole thing is it's kind of a mess.

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Speaker 1: But Dylan, thank you man, have a good day. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: maybe Patty should go back to church in because I

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Speaker 1: don't know, I don't think we solved any problems. I

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Speaker 1: really don't she needs isn't complicated. I mean, I think

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Speaker 1: they both. I think the fiance and the best friend

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Speaker 1: need to take a step back.

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Speaker 3: I agree.

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Speaker 1: I think the best friend honestly might might need to

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Speaker 1: adjust her attitude a little bit, because again, you know,

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Speaker 1: even the woman who called us is siding with her

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Speaker 1: fiance now, you know, to take it one step further,

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Speaker 1: is she siding with him because she's being manipulated or

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Speaker 1: is she siding with him because her friend's in the wrong.

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Speaker 1: It sounded like she knows her friend can be difficult,

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Speaker 1: and if that's the case, then her friend needs to

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Speaker 1: be a little bit less difficult, and that might explain

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Speaker 1: why she's so unlikable in this case. But I agree

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Speaker 1: there also are some signs of control here too that

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Speaker 1: I don't love either, so I don't know. Yeah, there

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Speaker 1: you go.