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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam. This is John, the og story

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Speaker 1: Time podcast host. Oh yeah, we got some great stories

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Speaker 1: coming up.

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Speaker 2: But before that we get a teeny two minute break

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Speaker 2: from the sponsors that keep the show propped up like

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Speaker 2: a little house.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, my.

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Speaker 3: Boss is forcing us to send our medical records and

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Speaker 3: it backfired on him.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it sounds like the most illegal thing you could

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Speaker 1: possibly do.

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Speaker 3: First of all, a bit of misleading title, as the

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Speaker 3: person in this situation is not me but my friend. Second,

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Speaker 3: this is going to be fairly long and perhaps unnecessarily

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Speaker 3: context heavy. It's not an urgent request for answers, and

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Speaker 3: I hope this will be more interesting than boring, even

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Speaker 3: if it is long winded. And by the way, this

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Speaker 3: comes from OMG, can they do that? And if you

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Speaker 3: want to submit your own stories, go to the r

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Speaker 3: slash Okay Storytime supredit.

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Speaker 1: And I'm Angie, I'm new Koda.

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Speaker 3: And we're here to give good advice. Goofily. But we

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Speaker 3: don't have all the answers. We're just gonna guess what

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Speaker 3: we would do in the situation. Let us know what

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Speaker 3: you would do in the comments. So to get to

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Speaker 3: the main issue, though, one of my friends coworkers passed

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Speaker 3: away while at work last month. It was apparently a

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Speaker 3: massive heart attack. He was under fifty, so it shocked

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Speaker 3: everyone more so than it happened literally at his desk

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Speaker 3: in the middle of a shared open plan office. While

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Speaker 3: at the wake, my friends and the deceased's direct boss

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Speaker 3: was talking to some family members and informally learned that

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Speaker 3: the worker who passed away had some existing high blood

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Speaker 3: pressure and other health problems that he had been neglecting

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Speaker 3: to treat. Relatives apparently think he would not have passed

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Speaker 3: away had even more vigilant with his health a moot point,

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Speaker 3: and certainly none of his boss or coworker's businesses. The

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Speaker 3: boss took the situation pretty hard. I gather he was

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Speaker 3: extremely freaked out on the day of the incident, and

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Speaker 3: the information that the worker had a pre existing medical

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Speaker 3: condition that could have potentially predicted what would have happened

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Speaker 3: seems to have sparked the idea in his head. On Friday,

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Speaker 3: he announced to the office as a whole, all twenty

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Speaker 3: ish of his direct reports, part of a larger company

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Speaker 3: of two hundred and fifty to three hundred people, that

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Speaker 3: he was giving them until May first, specifically after tax season.

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Speaker 3: Because he thinks he is being nice and is unnecessarily

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Speaker 3: accommodating of people's time to provide him personally, not HR,

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Speaker 3: not higher execs, just him quote updated copy of your

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Speaker 3: full medical history. According to him, this means a visit

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Speaker 3: with a PCP slash GP quote no less than six

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Speaker 3: months prior to the do date and fully accounting by

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Speaker 3: the doctor for all at risk health factors and a

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Speaker 3: full further accounting of all risk factors in your full

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Speaker 3: medical history. These are direct quotes he gave everyone a memo.

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Speaker 3: The wording in the memo is pretty basic directions in

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Speaker 3: poorly thought out legalies, some of almost stream of consciousness style.

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Speaker 3: He is in a habit of dictating to his assistant

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Speaker 3: and gets uptight about her recording exactly what he said

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Speaker 3: rather than rewording things to make more sense, even with

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Speaker 3: important correspondence. He is claiming this policy will allow him

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Speaker 3: to prevent further trauma inducing incidents like a coworker passing

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Speaker 3: away very suddenly at his desk a few feet away,

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Speaker 3: and honestly seems to believe this will protect the company

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Speaker 3: from legal intimidation in case anyone wants to sue for

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Speaker 3: the trauma of witnessing a passing in the workplace. I

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Speaker 3: guess the idea is that if he knows a coworker

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Speaker 3: is likely to pass away suddenly, he can fire them

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Speaker 3: first to prevent anything from falling back on him or

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Speaker 3: the company. It doesn't seem to make much sense on

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Speaker 3: the surface, and I can't guess if this is truly

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Speaker 3: his real motivation. Also, as if a medical history could

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Speaker 3: accurately predict sudden passings of that type, he is clearly

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Speaker 3: not rational on this plan. Honestly, to me, it sounds

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Speaker 3: like he was freaked out by witnessing the incident himself.

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Speaker 3: When the thought crossed his mind to sue the company

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Speaker 3: for his own trauma. It eventually turned into an idea

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Speaker 3: to play it as if he were a good policymaker

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Speaker 3: trying to protect the company from legal trouble from people

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Speaker 3: like himself. Apparently, he's been angling for a promotion for

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Speaker 3: years and has in the past already come up with

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Speaker 3: some hair brained schemes to suck up to his own bosses. Anyway,

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Speaker 3: my friend is pretty level headed, and her immediate instinct

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Speaker 3: is to go to HR on Monday and let them

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Speaker 3: know what's going on. But the way she presented this

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Speaker 3: story to me gave me pause. She described it casually

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Speaker 3: over drinks last night, in a manner like, listen to

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Speaker 3: this completely illegal thing my boss is trying to do.

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Speaker 3: It does seem to me like he is crossing some

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Speaker 3: dubious legal lines. But I've been lurking here long enough

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Speaker 3: to see a lot of people come in with workplace

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Speaker 3: issues they are sure are one hundred percent against the law,

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Speaker 3: and it often turns out the answer to can they

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Speaker 3: do this is yep. I think the question of is

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Speaker 3: this stupid for my boss to do and should I

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Speaker 3: bring it to HR SLASH higher ups is a pretty

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Speaker 3: clear yes, since it doesn't have to be illegal for

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Speaker 3: HR to have other reasons to want to shut this

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Speaker 3: down immediately. Still, I'm curious about the actual legality of

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Speaker 3: what this blowhard is planning.

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Speaker 1: This is about confidential medical history. Yeah, this isn't something

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Speaker 1: your boss you just have on hand without any o oversight,

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Speaker 1: you know, dictating how he uses it, because he could

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Speaker 1: theoretically now fire people based on their medical history without

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Speaker 1: anyone in the company being made aware of it, and

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Speaker 1: that would be a massive lawsuit at the end of that.

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Speaker 1: So they don't want this your company would not want

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Speaker 1: him to have access to this.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it might not be illegal, but also I feel

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Speaker 3: like it probably would be. But it's also kind of like,

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Speaker 3: what is he gonna do though, Like, what is he

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Speaker 3: gonna do with all that and medical information? Is he's

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Speaker 3: just gonna be like, hey, guys, you have to be

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Speaker 3: treated for your ailments or else you're gonna pass away

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Speaker 3: in the workplace. Personally, I just can't handle it.

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Speaker 1: She's just like, I want to be a doctor. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I was in the wrong field. I should have been

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Speaker 1: a doctor. I'm gonna trust every last one of you

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Speaker 1: as my patients.

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Speaker 3: Just got off the phone with my friend a few

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Speaker 3: minutes ago, and it is official. Boss is now ex Boss.

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Speaker 3: My friend did in fact go to HR as she

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Speaker 3: was planning and laid out the situation for them. They

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Speaker 3: seemed concerned and assured her that they would look into it,

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Speaker 3: and then shed no more of it for about a week.

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Speaker 3: X Boss was also suspiciously quiet about the policy during

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Speaker 3: that time period until last Monday, when he was not

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Speaker 3: even in the office. There was no explanation given to

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Speaker 3: the office at large, but my friend spoke to his

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Speaker 3: assistant and from the information she got pieced together that

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Speaker 3: he was in some sort of long important meetings with

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Speaker 3: corporate HR, and he would then be taking the rest

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Speaker 3: of the week on personally. The weekend passed and he

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Speaker 3: didn't return. The office was in limbo for the beginning

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Speaker 3: of this week, but today someone came down from corporate

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Speaker 3: and announced that X boss was officially no longer working

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Speaker 3: for the company, and that new corporate guy would be

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Speaker 3: serving as their temporary supervisor until a new one was hired. Obviously,

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Speaker 3: everything largely went on behind the scenes, but since my

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Speaker 3: friend was the one to blow the whistle to her

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Speaker 3: friend in HR, yes, I did see the comments on

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Speaker 3: the previous thread about how HR is never your friend

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Speaker 3: o wo. She managed to get a couple of d

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Speaker 3: details at lunch about it. The way it all went down, Apparently,

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Speaker 3: Corporate was quickly and heavily concerned about X Boss's scheming

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Speaker 3: because he had a history of dumb ideas that blew

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Speaker 3: up in his or someone else's face. In the past,

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Speaker 3: he always managed to take the heat off himself by

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Speaker 3: throwing someone else under the bus. When local HR came

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Speaker 3: to tell him that this new policy was officially very stupid,

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Speaker 3: it would cause him in the company far more liability

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Speaker 3: than he could possibly save them from. Sorry that she said,

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Speaker 3: I'm covering my butt right now.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so funny. I've never heard that.

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Speaker 3: He threw a temper tantrum and insisted that the higher

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Speaker 3: execs would understand what a good idea it was. The

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Speaker 3: meetings with corporate were initially them trying to talk him

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Speaker 3: down and explain why he was wrong. He resisted this

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Speaker 3: strongly and turned them into seminars on why he was

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Speaker 3: actually right. Eventually a VP got involved and it was over.

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Speaker 3: X Boss was not technically fired, but was strongly encouraged

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Speaker 3: to submit his rest nation. He will not be getting

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Speaker 3: any reference other than a confirmation that he did, in

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Speaker 3: fact work there. My friend hasn't personally heard anything from

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Speaker 3: the guy since he's suddenly disappeared from the office. If

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Speaker 3: he's contacted any of her coworkers, they didn't share it

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Speaker 3: with her. She's pretty excited to see the last of him,

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Speaker 3: and is hoping her new boss will be less of them.

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Speaker 3: More on, Apparently, one of her longtime coworkers, who has

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Speaker 3: always been a bit of a mentor figure to her,

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Speaker 3: is being considered for a promotion internally instead of them

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Speaker 3: hiring someone new as a supervisor, so my friend might

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Speaker 3: even materially benefit from this fiasco. Again, my thanks to

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Speaker 3: everyone he provided info and advice, and to those who

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Speaker 3: were just supportive. I did drop off commenting after a

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Speaker 3: few hours because i do browse Reddit most of my

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Speaker 3: workday and I'm paranoid about accidentally commenting with my man

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Speaker 3: when I mean to use my throwaway and vice versa.

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Speaker 3: So I just stayed logged out of this account. Sorry

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Speaker 3: for the lack of real time clarification, but hopefully this

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Speaker 3: update makes up for it. That's the end of that story.

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Speaker 3: I want to hear you your comments, Dakota.

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Speaker 1: I'm glad that your friend is getting something materially out

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Speaker 1: of this. Yeah. Funny enough, that's the exact thing. He

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Speaker 1: was like, I'm gonna save the company money and whatever.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. Sometimes you just gotta let people, you know,

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Speaker 1: destroy themselves.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: And it didn't even really sound like this guy was

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Speaker 1: doing anything like super evil. He was just dumb.

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Speaker 3: It's just very stupid. And I was like, hey, Bud,

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Speaker 3: that's legal.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like hey, and even to the point where

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Speaker 1: the company's like hey, so kind of like blanket asking

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Speaker 1: everyone of your direct reports for their confidential private medical history.

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Speaker 3: Right.

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Speaker 1: Kind of can't work here anymore, buddy, So just go

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Speaker 1: ahead and resign. We won't fire you, so it won't

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Speaker 1: look bad on you. But you gotta get out of here. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: because you asked for their medical records to save us

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Speaker 1: money after one of their coworkers keeled over it their desk,

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Speaker 1: had a heart attack in the middle of the day.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, dude, you can't. It's run for so many reasons,

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Speaker 3: so many of them. But that is the end of

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Speaker 3: that story.

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Speaker 1: My husband stopped inviting me to work events. I think

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Speaker 1: he's ashamed of me.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I think he is too.

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Speaker 1: My husband and I have been together for nine years.

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Speaker 1: He started his company with some friends a year after

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Speaker 1: we got together. He is the major owner and they

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Speaker 1: now have one hundred and twenty employees, about eighty percent

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Speaker 1: of them men. By the way, this comes from a

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Speaker 1: deleted user and if you want to submit your own stories,

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Speaker 1: go to the r slash Showcay storytime subredded. I'm Dakota,

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Speaker 1: I'm Angie. We are here to give you good advice. Goofully,

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Speaker 1: but we don't have all the answers. We only know

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Speaker 1: what we would do, so let us know what you

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Speaker 1: would do in the comments. About a year ago, my

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Speaker 1: husband stopped taking me to company parties, events, dinners, and

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Speaker 1: other work functions. He always came up with some excuse

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Speaker 1: to take my mother in law instead or another family member.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes he didn't even tell me there was an event

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Speaker 1: and just went by himself to the smaller ones. He

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Speaker 1: said it was because he wanted the rest of the

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Speaker 1: family to sell him too. I was a bit hurt,

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Speaker 1: but I thought, yeah, he's probably right. Now he's in

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Speaker 1: a big city in Europe for a major product launch.

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Speaker 1: He took my sister in law with him. I admit

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Speaker 1: that I cried when he excluded me this time because

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Speaker 1: it was such a big deal for his company. But

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Speaker 1: he promised to take me on a luxury vacation instead,

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Speaker 1: just the two of us. That's his new thing. Every

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Speaker 1: time I'm excluded, I get a trip or jewelry. I'm

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Speaker 1: good friends with the other wives of the company owners.

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Speaker 1: One of them is eight months preggorino, so she didn't

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Speaker 1: go on that trip either. She was surprised to hear

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Speaker 1: that I was home too, so we planned a lunch.

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Speaker 1: During lunch, she told me about an incident that happened

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Speaker 1: at my husband's work. Apparently in one of the conference rooms,

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Speaker 1: somebody forgot to turn off the projector from the previous meeting.

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Speaker 1: The conference rooms are located in the middle of the office,

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Speaker 1: with glass walls and doors so everyone could see inside.

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Speaker 1: On the big screen, there was a list of names

245
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Speaker 1: the wives of the owners and some of the management team.

246
00:12:02,920 --> 00:12:06,240
Speaker 1: My name was first on the list, marked as one

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Speaker 1: with numbers two through ten empty, then another name at eleven.

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Speaker 1: My husband heard about this and launched an internal investigation.

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Speaker 1: It turned out that a group of coworkers had been

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Speaker 1: ranking the wives front airbags for fun.

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Speaker 3: Oh shoot, that is so not what I was expecting.

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Speaker 1: My husband was furious. The wife who told me about

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Speaker 1: it was surprised that I didn't know, because the whole

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Speaker 1: situation had created quite a buzz at the company. Her

255
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Speaker 1: husband told her about it, and she assumed mine had

256
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Speaker 1: told me too, but he hadn't. When I asked her

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Speaker 1: when this happened, it was around the same time my

258
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Speaker 1: husband stopped inviting me to company event. I am so

259
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Speaker 1: hurt and embarrassed. I didn't realize he was ashamed of me.

260
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Speaker 1: I'm one hundred percent sure this is the reason he

261
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Speaker 1: doesn't want me there, and I don't know if I

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Speaker 1: should confront him. Girl, why is your first thought that

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Speaker 1: he's ashamed of you?

264
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Speaker 3: I feel like, with knowing this information, we should know

265
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Speaker 3: that that's very much not the case.

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Speaker 1: Should I confront him? I haven't done anything wrong, and

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00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:02,640
Speaker 1: I at least deserve to know what's been going on

268
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Speaker 1: behind my back. I'm just so made. Almost none of

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Speaker 1: the guys from that group work there anymore. I never

270
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Speaker 1: wear provocative or revealing clothes, which makes me even sadder

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Speaker 1: because if he's blaming me, I don't know what I

272
00:13:14,800 --> 00:13:17,600
Speaker 1: could have done differently. Thank you for your comments. The

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Speaker 1: majority of people seem to believe that my husband's reaction

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Speaker 1: was the right and healthy one because he loves me

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Speaker 1: and wants to protect me. We both love each other,

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Speaker 1: but to protect me part. I'm thirty eight and I

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Speaker 1: can stand up for myself. Would it be okay if

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Speaker 1: the roles were reversed? Do I have any right to

279
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Speaker 1: keep him away if it was his body being ranked

280
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Speaker 1: by my colleagues. I'm not something to be hidden or protected.

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Speaker 1: I don't mean to offend anyone, and I'm not ungrateful

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Speaker 1: for the support, but I really want to understand, Opey, I.

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Speaker 3: Get what you're trying to say. You know, you're a

284
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Speaker 3: strong independent woman, but if this is your husband, right,

285
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Speaker 3: they're not. It's not just a yes, yeah, this is

286
00:13:53,840 --> 00:13:56,800
Speaker 3: your husband. I feel like if I was in your situation,

287
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Speaker 3: I definitely wouldn't want to know. I'd be so grossed out.

288
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Speaker 3: I feel like it would have been fine for you

289
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Speaker 3: to know. But I don't think it's that wrong for

290
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Speaker 3: you to not know. Although I guess if you did

291
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Speaker 3: spiral into the whole like, well, why am I not coming?

292
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Speaker 3: Then what are you hiding?

293
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Speaker 1: But I guess she only did that because he hid

294
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Speaker 1: it from her because he started like bringing his mother

295
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Speaker 1: and his sister instead of.

296
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Speaker 3: You're subjecting your mom and your sister to that kind.

297
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Speaker 1: Of Yeah, but I mean like it's more yeah, Okay,

298
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Speaker 1: So at the end of the day, Yeah, you should

299
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Speaker 1: just tell your partner. Yeah, I don't know. If you

300
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Speaker 1: want to come, I'll let you decide. I'll tell you

301
00:14:31,080 --> 00:14:33,160
Speaker 1: what happened, and I'll let you decide if you want

302
00:14:33,160 --> 00:14:36,880
Speaker 1: to come to the work events. Still, because they objectified

303
00:14:36,920 --> 00:14:40,120
Speaker 1: you comments number one, I wouldn't jump straight to the

304
00:14:40,120 --> 00:14:43,480
Speaker 1: conclusion that he's ashamed of you. He's just as likely,

305
00:14:43,680 --> 00:14:45,920
Speaker 1: I mean, I would even say more likely, to be

306
00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:49,960
Speaker 1: ashamed that his peers and employees would make fun of

307
00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:52,640
Speaker 1: you and the other wives, so he wanted to spare

308
00:14:52,680 --> 00:14:54,920
Speaker 1: you from it. If I were in your shoes, i'd

309
00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:57,560
Speaker 1: just tell him you found out from a coworker's wife

310
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Speaker 1: and that you're not angry at him about what the

311
00:15:00,120 --> 00:15:03,400
Speaker 1: other employees did to me. It seems more alike you're

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00:15:03,520 --> 00:15:05,840
Speaker 1: mad he kept something from you, and that in the

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Speaker 1: future you want to deal with this kind of thing

314
00:15:08,080 --> 00:15:11,600
Speaker 1: together because your life Potner's tell him that, hopefully he'll

315
00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:15,640
Speaker 1: understand you all perspective. Reply says, I think it's exactly this.

316
00:15:16,120 --> 00:15:18,600
Speaker 1: He's embarrassed by their behavior and he doesn't want to

317
00:15:18,640 --> 00:15:21,160
Speaker 1: subject his wife to any creeps like that, so he'd

318
00:15:21,240 --> 00:15:24,160
Speaker 1: rather keep his separated from any of his employees. Update.

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Speaker 1: Hi again, I have a little update, and I hope

320
00:15:26,920 --> 00:15:29,520
Speaker 1: I don't ramble your whole evening away. I don't know

321
00:15:29,560 --> 00:15:32,040
Speaker 1: how to feel about everything right now. Before I update,

322
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Speaker 1: I want to address something. I stand by the title.

323
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Speaker 1: I got many messages, probably from men, asking why call

324
00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:43,640
Speaker 1: it making fun when they're rating me highly. Let me

325
00:15:43,680 --> 00:15:48,320
Speaker 1: tell you this unsolicited compliments are intimidation. A bunch of

326
00:15:48,360 --> 00:15:50,600
Speaker 1: men I don't know or care about discussing my and

327
00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:53,520
Speaker 1: other women's bodies is not cute. I don't feel special,

328
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Speaker 1: and I don't get any satisfaction or confidence from it.

329
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Speaker 1: I know this will bring more hate in the DMS,

330
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Speaker 1: but that's the dark side of the inn and I'm

331
00:16:00,880 --> 00:16:04,320
Speaker 1: aware of it. So bring your best misogynistic crap on

332
00:16:04,640 --> 00:16:07,880
Speaker 1: and I will report anybody who steps over my boundaries. Second,

333
00:16:07,920 --> 00:16:09,920
Speaker 1: I think I made the top of the list simply

334
00:16:09,960 --> 00:16:12,400
Speaker 1: because my husband is the owner, not because I'm bragging

335
00:16:12,440 --> 00:16:15,240
Speaker 1: about my looks. My husband arrived this morning. Maybe I

336
00:16:15,240 --> 00:16:17,400
Speaker 1: should have waited until tomorrow to talk to him and

337
00:16:17,480 --> 00:16:19,880
Speaker 1: just spent today cuddling. Oh well, I made it till

338
00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:22,680
Speaker 1: lunch after his nap. I told him about my lunch

339
00:16:22,920 --> 00:16:25,960
Speaker 1: with the other wife and asked if he stopped taking

340
00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:28,920
Speaker 1: me to company events because of what happened. He simply

341
00:16:28,960 --> 00:16:31,280
Speaker 1: said yes. He didn't even try to deny it. I

342
00:16:31,320 --> 00:16:33,800
Speaker 1: asked him why, and he seemed surprised because he thought

343
00:16:33,800 --> 00:16:36,400
Speaker 1: it was obvious. He said he didn't want his colleagues

344
00:16:36,520 --> 00:16:39,640
Speaker 1: googling his wife and disrespecting him. He said he didn't

345
00:16:39,640 --> 00:16:41,560
Speaker 1: tell me because he didn't want to upset or hurt me,

346
00:16:41,720 --> 00:16:43,480
Speaker 1: and that he was sorry that I found out. I

347
00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:45,640
Speaker 1: told him he should have let me decide what embarrassed

348
00:16:45,680 --> 00:16:47,760
Speaker 1: or hurt me. I felt like he took away my agency.

349
00:16:47,800 --> 00:16:49,760
Speaker 1: He got annoyed and said, I don't want my private

350
00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:51,760
Speaker 1: life mixed game with my work life. I like to

351
00:16:51,840 --> 00:16:52,600
Speaker 1: keep them separate.

352
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Speaker 3: But you can bring your mom and your sister though.

353
00:16:55,160 --> 00:16:57,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, you literally brought your family into work.

354
00:16:57,360 --> 00:17:00,400
Speaker 3: I'm kind of annoyed by ogling your mom now exactly.

355
00:17:00,480 --> 00:17:02,680
Speaker 3: And then also like, I guess maybe he's okay with

356
00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:05,920
Speaker 3: that because he doesn't see it as disrespecting him, which

357
00:17:06,119 --> 00:17:08,439
Speaker 3: I don't like that. I don't like that.

358
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Speaker 1: I tried to argue some more, but he shut me

359
00:17:11,080 --> 00:17:13,960
Speaker 1: down and said the discussion was over. I didn't feel

360
00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:17,000
Speaker 1: good afterward, but I dropped it anyway. He apologized later

361
00:17:17,040 --> 00:17:19,440
Speaker 1: and told me to respect how he handled the situation.

362
00:17:19,600 --> 00:17:23,000
Speaker 1: He said he felt undermined and disrespected when the gossip

363
00:17:23,080 --> 00:17:25,600
Speaker 1: started about me and the other wives, and that with me,

364
00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:29,639
Speaker 1: there were more gruesome details like photoshop pictures and clips

365
00:17:29,680 --> 00:17:32,359
Speaker 1: with my face being spread around. Oh my god, so

366
00:17:32,520 --> 00:17:36,080
Speaker 1: all of those people are fired right, right, right, All

367
00:17:36,080 --> 00:17:38,520
Speaker 1: of the people sexually harassing your wife are fired, correct.

368
00:17:38,760 --> 00:17:39,280
Speaker 3: Crazy.

369
00:17:39,920 --> 00:17:43,119
Speaker 1: I'm a minority, so there were also elements of fetishism

370
00:17:43,119 --> 00:17:46,280
Speaker 1: and raisism involved. I was targeted more than the other women,

371
00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:49,360
Speaker 1: and that's why the others didn't take such drastic measures.

372
00:17:49,440 --> 00:17:51,560
Speaker 1: There was a huge inquiry with HR and i T

373
00:17:51,760 --> 00:17:54,600
Speaker 1: departments involved to trace the source, and many were fired

374
00:17:54,760 --> 00:17:56,920
Speaker 1: or bought out. My husband decided then that he didn't

375
00:17:56,960 --> 00:17:59,119
Speaker 1: want this to ever happen again, and his solution was

376
00:17:59,160 --> 00:18:01,159
Speaker 1: to separate word and private life.

377
00:18:01,240 --> 00:18:04,280
Speaker 3: That's so crazy. I was wondering if, like something extra happened,

378
00:18:04,720 --> 00:18:06,840
Speaker 3: but I was not expecting that to happen.

379
00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:09,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it should have been that it being

380
00:18:09,200 --> 00:18:12,480
Speaker 1: that intense, It's like, well, yeah, I kind of want

381
00:18:12,520 --> 00:18:14,440
Speaker 1: to shelter you from this. But you could have also

382
00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:17,440
Speaker 1: just gone to your partner and gone, hey, I need

383
00:18:17,480 --> 00:18:20,240
Speaker 1: to tell you something, and don't make it like a discussion,

384
00:18:20,320 --> 00:18:23,200
Speaker 1: be like this is I want to do this moving forward.

385
00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:25,920
Speaker 1: Because there was some really messed up stuff that has

386
00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:28,240
Speaker 1: gone around about some of the wives at work, and

387
00:18:28,280 --> 00:18:31,560
Speaker 1: yours was really the worst, and we fired people. I

388
00:18:31,760 --> 00:18:34,720
Speaker 1: just want to keep my private life separated from my

389
00:18:34,840 --> 00:18:37,000
Speaker 1: work life. I just don't want to create a situation

390
00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:39,280
Speaker 1: where this could ever happen again, So I'm not going

391
00:18:39,359 --> 00:18:41,720
Speaker 1: to really, I don't want to bring you around any

392
00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:42,760
Speaker 1: more work events.

393
00:18:42,840 --> 00:18:44,720
Speaker 3: He should have thought about that, but maybe they had

394
00:18:44,720 --> 00:18:46,720
Speaker 3: some sort of conversation that we don't know about, like

395
00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:49,200
Speaker 3: with the other guys, and it was still like too

396
00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:51,359
Speaker 3: big of a risk to have like the wife there,

397
00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:53,960
Speaker 3: but like he trusted that like with new people, they

398
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:54,600
Speaker 3: wouldn't do that.

399
00:18:54,680 --> 00:18:55,480
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know.

400
00:18:55,880 --> 00:18:58,760
Speaker 3: I'm hoping that there's more context behind the scenes that

401
00:18:58,800 --> 00:18:59,679
Speaker 3: we're getting with that.

402
00:19:00,040 --> 00:19:03,000
Speaker 1: I didn't argue, I just listened, I have to say,

403
00:19:03,080 --> 00:19:04,879
Speaker 1: and I know many of you, based on the support

404
00:19:04,960 --> 00:19:07,080
Speaker 1: my husband got in the previous post, will disagree with

405
00:19:07,119 --> 00:19:10,000
Speaker 1: me that I totally disagree with how he handled this.

406
00:19:10,160 --> 00:19:12,520
Speaker 1: They did a great job taking the matter seriously and

407
00:19:12,560 --> 00:19:16,359
Speaker 1: taking action against those involved. But what was I collateral damage?

408
00:19:16,440 --> 00:19:18,879
Speaker 1: A casualty. I should have been the one to decide

409
00:19:18,920 --> 00:19:21,000
Speaker 1: how to handle something that targeted me as a person,

410
00:19:21,359 --> 00:19:23,400
Speaker 1: but he did it for himself. He wanted to spare

411
00:19:23,440 --> 00:19:26,600
Speaker 1: himself the headache and embarrassment, not me. I've been with

412
00:19:26,680 --> 00:19:29,080
Speaker 1: him since the start. I've been his number one believer,

413
00:19:29,240 --> 00:19:31,199
Speaker 1: even when things were rough in the beginning, and I

414
00:19:31,320 --> 00:19:33,960
Speaker 1: basically own half his shares. All of this just feels

415
00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:36,200
Speaker 1: so unfair. And that is the end of that story.

416
00:19:36,320 --> 00:19:38,199
Speaker 3: Oh, because I guess she does have a little bit

417
00:19:38,240 --> 00:19:40,760
Speaker 3: of like part in the company. I forgot about that.

418
00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:42,879
Speaker 3: This is a company that he started grew to like

419
00:19:43,160 --> 00:19:45,159
Speaker 3: a whole bunch of people. I forgot about that.

420
00:19:45,200 --> 00:19:47,520
Speaker 1: You can make the same argument though about his side.

421
00:19:47,560 --> 00:19:48,840
Speaker 1: You know, it's like I kind.

422
00:19:48,640 --> 00:19:50,639
Speaker 3: Of understand both, yeah perspectives.

423
00:19:50,680 --> 00:19:52,720
Speaker 1: I see why he maybe could try to hide this

424
00:19:52,760 --> 00:19:54,800
Speaker 1: from you, but also because he was just like, well,

425
00:19:54,800 --> 00:19:55,840
Speaker 1: the last thing I want to do is not make

426
00:19:55,880 --> 00:19:58,440
Speaker 1: this a fight between me and my wife. But now

427
00:19:58,480 --> 00:20:01,680
Speaker 1: it's like, you know, no matter what, but it's it's

428
00:20:01,720 --> 00:20:04,560
Speaker 1: created frictions now. And that's the end of this story.

429
00:20:04,880 --> 00:20:06,040
Speaker 1: Let's head to the next one.

430
00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:10,720
Speaker 3: I called my CEO by his first name and got so.

431
00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:13,920
Speaker 1: Shamed for It's pretty bad.

432
00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:18,560
Speaker 3: I twenty four mail work at a smallish nonprofit aquarium

433
00:20:18,680 --> 00:20:21,359
Speaker 3: in the membership department. Among other things, it is my

434
00:20:21,440 --> 00:20:24,119
Speaker 3: job to track the comings and goings of members and

435
00:20:24,200 --> 00:20:27,840
Speaker 3: other individuals closely related to our organization, such as donors

436
00:20:27,880 --> 00:20:30,320
Speaker 3: and trustees. By the way, this comes from a music

437
00:20:30,440 --> 00:20:32,359
Speaker 3: mage for one, one, four and if you will to

438
00:20:32,359 --> 00:20:35,120
Speaker 3: submit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay, storytime,

439
00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:37,399
Speaker 3: separate it and I'm Angie.

440
00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:40,240
Speaker 4: I'm Dakota, and we're here to give good advice goofily,

441
00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:41,600
Speaker 4: But we don't have all the answers.

442
00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:43,400
Speaker 3: We're just gonna guess what we would in the situation.

443
00:20:43,480 --> 00:20:45,360
Speaker 3: But let us know what you would do in the comments.

444
00:20:45,520 --> 00:20:48,280
Speaker 3: So whenever an important person visits the aquarium, I am

445
00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:51,480
Speaker 3: required to notify a list of people in various other departments,

446
00:20:51,600 --> 00:20:55,360
Speaker 3: particularly people who work directly with donors, so that they

447
00:20:55,400 --> 00:20:58,479
Speaker 3: can follow up with them, ensure that they have slash,

448
00:20:58,520 --> 00:21:01,800
Speaker 3: had an enjoyable visit, et cetera. Depending on the importance

449
00:21:01,840 --> 00:21:04,560
Speaker 3: of the visitor, this list changes somewhat, and at the

450
00:21:04,760 --> 00:21:08,480
Speaker 3: highest levels of importance, the primary and contact for these

451
00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:14,040
Speaker 3: notifications is our organization CEO, along with a multitude of ccs.

452
00:21:14,240 --> 00:21:17,520
Speaker 3: While these notifications in general are frequent, it is rare

453
00:21:17,600 --> 00:21:20,880
Speaker 3: that a visit is important enough to warrant notifying the CEO,

454
00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:24,800
Speaker 3: who is sixties mail. In fact, I have only needed

455
00:21:24,840 --> 00:21:27,760
Speaker 3: to send out notification of this level once before in

456
00:21:27,800 --> 00:21:30,399
Speaker 3: the year that I have worked here. Today, I received

457
00:21:30,400 --> 00:21:32,760
Speaker 3: a call from a representative at the gate saying that

458
00:21:32,840 --> 00:21:36,560
Speaker 3: we had just made a visit. I immediately compiled the

459
00:21:36,640 --> 00:21:39,240
Speaker 3: list of people to be notified, with the CEO as

460
00:21:39,240 --> 00:21:43,240
Speaker 3: the primary recipient and everyone else's c seed, and sent

461
00:21:43,359 --> 00:21:45,840
Speaker 3: out this email. I have access to all of the

462
00:21:45,960 --> 00:21:50,520
Speaker 3: names involved. Here's the email. Good afternoon, Stanley, Chairman of

463
00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:53,879
Speaker 3: the Board's granddaughters just checked in at the gate along

464
00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:56,680
Speaker 3: with their two babysitters. Their mom sent them with a

465
00:21:56,720 --> 00:21:59,399
Speaker 3: nice note explaining who they were, though of course we

466
00:21:59,440 --> 00:22:02,720
Speaker 3: would have admitted them regardless. We provided them with tickets

467
00:22:02,720 --> 00:22:04,960
Speaker 3: to feed the animals, and they are happily on their

468
00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:08,760
Speaker 3: way OPE. Aside from the specifics of their visit, this

469
00:22:08,840 --> 00:22:11,639
Speaker 3: is identical to my previous notification I had sent to

470
00:22:11,680 --> 00:22:14,080
Speaker 3: the CEO and is basically the format I use for

471
00:22:14,119 --> 00:22:16,760
Speaker 3: all notifications of this type, simply changing who I sent

472
00:22:16,800 --> 00:22:20,040
Speaker 3: it to. I have never had issues with these notifications before.

473
00:22:20,240 --> 00:22:23,480
Speaker 3: Not five minutes later, I get an email from the

474
00:22:23,520 --> 00:22:28,040
Speaker 3: Assistant Director of Donor Relations, Janis forty's female also on

475
00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:30,840
Speaker 3: the notification list, who I do not report to in

476
00:22:30,920 --> 00:22:34,080
Speaker 3: any way, Dear Op. It took me three and a

477
00:22:34,200 --> 00:22:38,840
Speaker 3: half years before. I called doctor President Stanley. He is

478
00:22:39,040 --> 00:22:43,040
Speaker 3: usually the one to extend that privilege from Janice. She

479
00:22:43,119 --> 00:22:46,080
Speaker 3: had also ceceed my boss on her reply. For what

480
00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:49,679
Speaker 3: reason I can't imagine. Honestly, I was taken aback. I

481
00:22:49,720 --> 00:22:53,320
Speaker 3: communicate with Janis frequently, as membership and donor relations tend

482
00:22:53,320 --> 00:22:54,000
Speaker 3: to overlap.

483
00:22:54,320 --> 00:22:54,439
Speaker 1: It.

484
00:22:54,520 --> 00:22:57,520
Speaker 3: Being the holiday season means that we've been communicating even

485
00:22:57,560 --> 00:23:00,159
Speaker 3: more as donors like to purchase memberships as gifts for

486
00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:03,080
Speaker 3: their friends and family, and I notify her when this happens.

487
00:23:03,160 --> 00:23:06,720
Speaker 3: Let me be clear, everyone, and I do mean everyone

488
00:23:06,760 --> 00:23:10,400
Speaker 3: in my organization operates on a first name basis, regardless

489
00:23:10,440 --> 00:23:13,080
Speaker 3: of age or position. I call my boss by her

490
00:23:13,080 --> 00:23:15,600
Speaker 3: first name. I call her boss by her first name.

491
00:23:15,720 --> 00:23:19,959
Speaker 3: I call the executive VP of guest Relations, our collective boss,

492
00:23:20,080 --> 00:23:23,480
Speaker 3: by his first name. This has never been an issue.

493
00:23:23,600 --> 00:23:26,360
Speaker 3: Being an aquarium. We have many individuals here with degrees

494
00:23:26,400 --> 00:23:29,320
Speaker 3: that give them a title, but we've used first names

495
00:23:29,359 --> 00:23:32,280
Speaker 3: with them as well. All correspondence with other people in

496
00:23:32,320 --> 00:23:35,439
Speaker 3: the organization, whether we have met them personally or not,

497
00:23:36,080 --> 00:23:39,600
Speaker 3: uses first names. Even at my orientation, when I was

498
00:23:39,640 --> 00:23:42,600
Speaker 3: being briefed on who the important people at the organization

499
00:23:42,760 --> 00:23:46,880
Speaker 3: were I was specifically told Dan Lee is our CEO.

500
00:23:47,400 --> 00:23:50,720
Speaker 3: He's very nice. When you meet him, he'll probably ask

501
00:23:50,760 --> 00:23:52,119
Speaker 3: you to call him Stanley.

502
00:23:52,720 --> 00:23:58,160
Speaker 4: Wow, all right, okay, Jannish Janis, to be fair, I

503
00:23:58,200 --> 00:24:00,800
Speaker 4: have not yet met him in person, refers to him

504
00:24:00,800 --> 00:24:03,480
Speaker 4: by his first name, and I have never had any

505
00:24:03,480 --> 00:24:06,800
Speaker 4: indication that I should do otherwise. I immediately replied to

506
00:24:06,840 --> 00:24:10,480
Speaker 4: her with Janis, I appreciate the correction. I had previously

507
00:24:10,520 --> 00:24:13,840
Speaker 4: referred to doctor President as Stanley in my last notification,

508
00:24:13,960 --> 00:24:16,600
Speaker 4: but no one thought to say anything to me. Then

509
00:24:16,760 --> 00:24:20,040
Speaker 4: I will adjust my future correspondence accordingly. I then wrote

510
00:24:20,040 --> 00:24:21,000
Speaker 4: a quick email to the.

511
00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:25,440
Speaker 3: CEO and cce Janis and my boss. Dear doctor President,

512
00:24:25,680 --> 00:24:28,879
Speaker 3: I apologize if I have been presumptive in addressing you

513
00:24:28,920 --> 00:24:31,080
Speaker 3: by your first name. Janis informed me that it was

514
00:24:31,080 --> 00:24:35,640
Speaker 3: improper and I intended no disrespect. Sincerely, Ope, our CEO

515
00:24:35,800 --> 00:24:37,679
Speaker 3: isn't on campus on weekends, so I didn't receive a

516
00:24:37,720 --> 00:24:40,760
Speaker 3: reply from him, nor have I heard anything further from Janis.

517
00:24:41,240 --> 00:24:43,280
Speaker 3: My boss will be in tomorrow, so she will see

518
00:24:43,320 --> 00:24:46,680
Speaker 3: the exchange tomorrow. I still feel mortified. I honestly had

519
00:24:46,680 --> 00:24:48,800
Speaker 3: no idea that I was doing something incorrectly and now

520
00:24:48,840 --> 00:24:51,239
Speaker 3: I'm paranoid that the whole host of other people on

521
00:24:51,280 --> 00:24:53,919
Speaker 3: that notification list are having the same thoughts as janis

522
00:24:53,920 --> 00:24:56,679
Speaker 3: about me. So now what do I do Do I

523
00:24:56,840 --> 00:24:58,399
Speaker 3: just let this be the end of it. Did I

524
00:24:58,440 --> 00:25:01,840
Speaker 3: handle this correctly? Any would be appreciated. Maybe I'm just

525
00:25:01,880 --> 00:25:05,159
Speaker 3: making mountains out of molehills, but this has really bothered me.

526
00:25:05,440 --> 00:25:07,359
Speaker 3: We do have some comments, But what do.

527
00:25:07,280 --> 00:25:08,679
Speaker 1: You think to go to I think you need to

528
00:25:08,760 --> 00:25:12,359
Speaker 1: find where doctor President lives and you need to start

529
00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:16,879
Speaker 1: washing his car, mowing the lawn, and cleaning all the

530
00:25:16,920 --> 00:25:20,720
Speaker 1: windows to his house without asking first, so that you

531
00:25:20,760 --> 00:25:25,880
Speaker 1: can prove to him that you are appropriately paying your

532
00:25:26,040 --> 00:25:30,760
Speaker 1: penance for the egregious disrespect you have visited upon the

533
00:25:30,840 --> 00:25:34,000
Speaker 1: doctor president name, or just like move on. Yeah, I

534
00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:35,840
Speaker 1: think you could actually, you know, and I said that

535
00:25:35,880 --> 00:25:37,600
Speaker 1: one out loud. I think you could just move on

536
00:25:37,680 --> 00:25:38,639
Speaker 1: from this and it's fine.

537
00:25:38,680 --> 00:25:41,119
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, No, I think you've done everything that you

538
00:25:41,160 --> 00:25:45,119
Speaker 3: can do. You addressed him apologizing for disrespect. I wouldn't

539
00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:47,040
Speaker 3: even thought to put it that way, but I think

540
00:25:47,040 --> 00:25:49,159
Speaker 3: that's a good way to put it. Yeah, if that

541
00:25:49,200 --> 00:25:52,159
Speaker 3: was even possible. I really don't think if you were

542
00:25:52,200 --> 00:25:56,640
Speaker 3: told that in orientation. I think you're fine, mister Strangelove,

543
00:25:57,880 --> 00:26:00,920
Speaker 3: MSc says, maybe it took him three years to ask

544
00:26:00,920 --> 00:26:03,119
Speaker 3: her to call him Stanley because he sucks as a person.

545
00:26:03,280 --> 00:26:05,960
Speaker 3: I agree with another commentary, especially considering that she refers

546
00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:08,800
Speaker 3: to a dude generally called Stanley as doctor President, which

547
00:26:08,840 --> 00:26:12,040
Speaker 3: is precisely at the end of the effing spectrum of

548
00:26:12,080 --> 00:26:15,679
Speaker 3: things a CEO can be called. Ope says, well, I

549
00:26:15,720 --> 00:26:17,800
Speaker 3: actually couldn't think of a generic last name, so I

550
00:26:17,800 --> 00:26:20,480
Speaker 3: put president and said, okay, the gist was that I

551
00:26:20,520 --> 00:26:23,320
Speaker 3: should use doctor last name. First of all, thank you

552
00:26:23,359 --> 00:26:25,000
Speaker 3: to everyone who took the time to reply to my

553
00:26:25,080 --> 00:26:27,919
Speaker 3: original post. The general consensus was that I had handled

554
00:26:27,920 --> 00:26:30,040
Speaker 3: the situation well, or at least as best as I

555
00:26:30,080 --> 00:26:33,560
Speaker 3: could have given my situation an experience. Even those of

556
00:26:33,600 --> 00:26:35,719
Speaker 3: you who thought I had screwed up said so in

557
00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:38,280
Speaker 3: a way that was sensitive and respectful, So thank you

558
00:26:38,480 --> 00:26:41,119
Speaker 3: was all around. Now on to the update. I mentioned

559
00:26:41,160 --> 00:26:43,639
Speaker 3: in my original post that I had only sent one

560
00:26:43,680 --> 00:26:46,760
Speaker 3: of these notifications to our CEO once before, and no

561
00:26:46,800 --> 00:26:49,320
Speaker 3: one had said anything that When he replied to me

562
00:26:49,400 --> 00:26:53,080
Speaker 3: that time, it was only one word thanks, no salutation,

563
00:26:53,320 --> 00:26:57,600
Speaker 3: no signature, just that one word. Understandably, he's a busy man,

564
00:26:57,960 --> 00:27:01,399
Speaker 3: but this is very important for understanding what happened this time.

565
00:27:01,520 --> 00:27:03,560
Speaker 3: I got into work this morning and opened my email.

566
00:27:03,680 --> 00:27:06,520
Speaker 3: Among my various other usual emails, I saw that the

567
00:27:06,560 --> 00:27:10,320
Speaker 3: CEO had responded to my original notification email at about

568
00:27:10,320 --> 00:27:14,160
Speaker 3: seven thirty pm last night, a Saturday. He had kept

569
00:27:14,320 --> 00:27:17,119
Speaker 3: intact the original list of people to be notified, so

570
00:27:17,200 --> 00:27:20,080
Speaker 3: everyone who had seen my original message also saw his

571
00:27:20,160 --> 00:27:24,320
Speaker 3: reply to me, including Jennie. This time it was three words,

572
00:27:24,560 --> 00:27:28,959
Speaker 3: but I could feel the deliberateness of everyone. Dear op,

573
00:27:29,680 --> 00:27:32,359
Speaker 3: thanks from Stanley. Okay, so that's.

574
00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:34,639
Speaker 1: Nice for words, what the friend nice?

575
00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:36,879
Speaker 3: And there is a little bit more to the story.

576
00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:37,840
Speaker 3: We got our answer.

577
00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:39,639
Speaker 1: It's Stanley, It's Stanley.

578
00:27:39,760 --> 00:27:40,400
Speaker 3: It's Stanley.

579
00:27:40,520 --> 00:27:43,840
Speaker 1: It's Stanley until the end of time.

580
00:27:44,160 --> 00:27:46,800
Speaker 3: And make sure to call him doctor president because you

581
00:27:46,960 --> 00:27:49,640
Speaker 3: have you do not deserve to call him Stanley anymore.

582
00:27:49,720 --> 00:27:51,399
Speaker 3: But there is a little bit more to the story.

583
00:27:51,920 --> 00:27:54,919
Speaker 3: So yeah, I think it's pretty clear where he stands

584
00:27:54,960 --> 00:27:57,560
Speaker 3: on this whole business. I feel a million times better

585
00:27:57,640 --> 00:28:01,359
Speaker 3: since the CEO is clearly a very glassy My boss

586
00:28:01,400 --> 00:28:03,480
Speaker 3: also saw his response and also told me that I

587
00:28:03,480 --> 00:28:05,600
Speaker 3: had done everything right and not to worry about it.

588
00:28:05,640 --> 00:28:08,480
Speaker 3: So everything worked out. Okay, thanks again to everyone who

589
00:28:08,640 --> 00:28:11,800
Speaker 3: helped me stop freaking out. And there are some top

590
00:28:11,920 --> 00:28:21,360
Speaker 3: comments and worst comments as twenty fifteen June says, thanks Stanley, hah,

591
00:28:21,680 --> 00:28:25,600
Speaker 3: that's great. Screw you Janice to lead it says effing Janie.

592
00:28:25,880 --> 00:28:27,679
Speaker 3: I had to work with a lady named Janice who

593
00:28:27,760 --> 00:28:30,440
Speaker 3: was just like that. You mandled this very well. And

594
00:28:30,480 --> 00:28:31,240
Speaker 3: that's the end of this.

595
00:28:31,640 --> 00:28:33,879
Speaker 1: We all have it. We all know it, Janie, we

596
00:28:33,920 --> 00:28:36,840
Speaker 1: all know it. Somewhere across time, we have all come

597
00:28:36,880 --> 00:28:37,760
Speaker 1: across a Janis.

598
00:28:37,960 --> 00:28:40,920
Speaker 3: Don't we all know? Oh my goodness.

599
00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:41,200
Speaker 1: Yeah.

600
00:28:41,240 --> 00:28:45,120
Speaker 3: I feel like if if that story went on any longer,

601
00:28:45,200 --> 00:28:47,280
Speaker 3: I think it would start to be very annoyed with OPM.

602
00:28:47,360 --> 00:28:50,880
Speaker 1: Not No, I'm annoyed with op as well. To be clear,

603
00:28:51,040 --> 00:28:53,320
Speaker 1: I'm like, how are we in the workforce?

604
00:28:53,800 --> 00:28:56,600
Speaker 3: Like, why are we to be freaking out about this?

605
00:28:56,600 --> 00:28:58,840
Speaker 1: This was freaking us out.

606
00:28:59,200 --> 00:29:01,920
Speaker 3: I'm annoyed with you a little bit, but overall I

607
00:29:02,040 --> 00:29:04,560
Speaker 3: enjoyed it. So thanks for that story.

608
00:29:05,320 --> 00:29:05,600
Speaker 1: Sam.

609
00:29:05,640 --> 00:29:07,719
Speaker 2: Here ogi host, Wh're going to get back to these stories,

610
00:29:07,720 --> 00:29:09,720
Speaker 2: but here's three minutes fads from our sponsors.

611
00:29:09,760 --> 00:29:14,440
Speaker 5: First, my boyfriend wanted an open relationship until I did

612
00:29:14,480 --> 00:29:18,440
Speaker 5: two open for me, but not for the I come

613
00:29:18,480 --> 00:29:18,800
Speaker 5: from a.

614
00:29:18,720 --> 00:29:20,640
Speaker 3: Small town where everyone knows each other.

615
00:29:21,040 --> 00:29:24,280
Speaker 5: I was raised in a very strict Catholic household an

616
00:29:24,360 --> 00:29:28,120
Speaker 5: had a pretty sheltered life growing up. No dating, no parties,

617
00:29:28,400 --> 00:29:30,760
Speaker 5: none of that stuff. So when I moved to the

618
00:29:30,800 --> 00:29:33,920
Speaker 5: city for college, it was a whole new world. I

619
00:29:34,040 --> 00:29:35,720
Speaker 5: had total freedom.

620
00:29:36,120 --> 00:29:37,960
Speaker 1: Okay Aladdin right.

621
00:29:38,640 --> 00:29:42,280
Speaker 5: By the way, this comes from users deleted and if

622
00:29:42,280 --> 00:29:44,200
Speaker 5: you want to submit your own stories, go to the

623
00:29:44,320 --> 00:29:47,640
Speaker 5: r slash Okay storytime severed it. I'm Carly, I'm Dakota,

624
00:29:47,680 --> 00:29:50,560
Speaker 5: I'm Riley, and we're here to give good advice. Goofully,

625
00:29:50,640 --> 00:29:52,760
Speaker 5: But we don't have all the answers. We only know

626
00:29:52,800 --> 00:29:54,320
Speaker 5: what we would do, So let us know what you

627
00:29:54,320 --> 00:29:57,160
Speaker 5: would do in the comments, and Opie says, that's when

628
00:29:57,160 --> 00:30:00,040
Speaker 5: I met my boyfriend. He's a little older and and

629
00:30:00,240 --> 00:30:02,800
Speaker 5: honestly the most amazing person I had ever met.

630
00:30:02,840 --> 00:30:04,120
Speaker 3: He taught me so much.

631
00:30:04,040 --> 00:30:07,680
Speaker 5: About life and love and made everything feel exciting. I

632
00:30:08,160 --> 00:30:10,880
Speaker 5: was completely over the moon when we became a couple.

633
00:30:11,200 --> 00:30:14,080
Speaker 5: We've been together for three and a half years now.

634
00:30:14,320 --> 00:30:17,400
Speaker 5: I had so many firsts with him. Naturally, I assumed

635
00:30:17,400 --> 00:30:19,920
Speaker 5: we would get married. He was my one and only.

636
00:30:20,120 --> 00:30:23,479
Speaker 5: Then about eight months ago, he sat me down and

637
00:30:23,560 --> 00:30:26,600
Speaker 5: he told me he felt like our relationship was losing

638
00:30:26,640 --> 00:30:27,320
Speaker 5: its spark.

639
00:30:27,520 --> 00:30:28,600
Speaker 3: I was shocked.

640
00:30:28,200 --> 00:30:30,720
Speaker 5: Because I thought we were doing really good. For a second,

641
00:30:30,920 --> 00:30:32,720
Speaker 5: I thought he was about to break up with me,

642
00:30:32,920 --> 00:30:36,640
Speaker 5: but instead he said we should open up the relationship

643
00:30:36,800 --> 00:30:40,920
Speaker 5: and explore polyamory. He said it's more normal now and

644
00:30:41,080 --> 00:30:44,840
Speaker 5: that it could actually help bring us closer. I was hurt,

645
00:30:45,240 --> 00:30:48,480
Speaker 5: like really hurt. I couldn't believe he'd even ask me that,

646
00:30:48,760 --> 00:30:51,920
Speaker 5: But I loved him too much. He's my first love.

647
00:30:52,120 --> 00:30:54,960
Speaker 5: I didn't want to lose him, so I said yes.

648
00:30:55,520 --> 00:30:58,760
Speaker 5: He made some rules, like no bringing other people into

649
00:30:58,800 --> 00:31:02,040
Speaker 5: our beds we live separately anyway, and to keep things

650
00:31:02,040 --> 00:31:04,200
Speaker 5: away from places we'd usually go.

651
00:31:04,600 --> 00:31:07,040
Speaker 3: But honestly, I didn't care about the rules.

652
00:31:07,120 --> 00:31:10,600
Speaker 5: I couldn't even imagine being with someone else. I only

653
00:31:10,680 --> 00:31:14,080
Speaker 5: wanted him. But that first month things didn't get better.

654
00:31:14,240 --> 00:31:15,880
Speaker 5: I saw him less and less.

655
00:31:16,120 --> 00:31:17,360
Speaker 3: He was always busy.

656
00:31:17,760 --> 00:31:20,560
Speaker 5: I checked to social media and saw he started hanging

657
00:31:20,560 --> 00:31:23,960
Speaker 5: out with some girl. She posted him all the time.

658
00:31:24,400 --> 00:31:27,160
Speaker 5: I was burning with jealousy, but I didn't say anything.

659
00:31:27,240 --> 00:31:29,600
Speaker 5: When I did see him He was sweet, like always,

660
00:31:29,880 --> 00:31:32,640
Speaker 5: but it started to feel like he was just trying.

661
00:31:32,400 --> 00:31:35,120
Speaker 3: To make up for not being around. I felt like

662
00:31:35,320 --> 00:31:35,760
Speaker 3: I was.

663
00:31:35,680 --> 00:31:38,920
Speaker 5: The one doing all the work, planning stuff, texting, first,

664
00:31:39,040 --> 00:31:42,560
Speaker 5: chasing after him, holding on so tight while he felt

665
00:31:42,600 --> 00:31:45,520
Speaker 5: far away. Then a few months ago, we were supposed

666
00:31:45,560 --> 00:31:47,960
Speaker 5: to see a movie together, but he bailed on me

667
00:31:48,120 --> 00:31:48,760
Speaker 5: last minute.

668
00:31:48,840 --> 00:31:49,760
Speaker 3: I went anyway.

669
00:31:49,960 --> 00:31:51,880
Speaker 5: While I was there, I ran into one of my

670
00:31:51,920 --> 00:31:55,200
Speaker 5: friends and she was with her older brother. We ended

671
00:31:55,280 --> 00:31:58,640
Speaker 5: up watching the film together. Afterward, we grabbed some drinks

672
00:31:58,680 --> 00:32:02,040
Speaker 5: and I started noticing how how attractive and funny he was.

673
00:32:02,360 --> 00:32:04,080
Speaker 5: I caught him looking at me a certain way too,

674
00:32:04,360 --> 00:32:07,840
Speaker 5: like maybe he felt something. I didn't pursue anything, though.

675
00:32:08,040 --> 00:32:11,280
Speaker 5: This was all so new to me, liking someone else

676
00:32:11,520 --> 00:32:15,080
Speaker 5: that felt so weird. He eventually found me on Instagram

677
00:32:15,160 --> 00:32:18,400
Speaker 5: and we started talking. I told him about the open relationship,

678
00:32:18,480 --> 00:32:20,560
Speaker 5: and he was super chill about it.

679
00:32:20,960 --> 00:32:24,520
Speaker 1: Of course, yeah, bab I hear you. I'm like, totally cool,

680
00:32:27,360 --> 00:32:30,160
Speaker 1: super chill because he wants some Netflix and chill.

681
00:32:30,400 --> 00:32:32,040
Speaker 5: Yeah, he's like, oh, you got a boyfriend, but you

682
00:32:32,080 --> 00:32:33,040
Speaker 5: can still hang out with me.

683
00:32:33,720 --> 00:32:34,520
Speaker 1: Super chill man.

684
00:32:36,560 --> 00:32:38,840
Speaker 3: He said he was happy to spend time with me.

685
00:32:38,920 --> 00:32:40,320
Speaker 3: Without worrying about cheating.

686
00:32:40,520 --> 00:32:43,720
Speaker 5: We started hanging out more, and honestly, I didn't feel

687
00:32:43,760 --> 00:32:44,800
Speaker 5: so alone anymore.

688
00:32:44,920 --> 00:32:47,520
Speaker 3: I didn't feel like I had to beg someone for love.

689
00:32:47,760 --> 00:32:50,720
Speaker 5: Even the little time I spent with my boyfriend started

690
00:32:50,720 --> 00:32:52,640
Speaker 5: to feel enough because my heart.

691
00:32:52,440 --> 00:32:54,160
Speaker 3: Didn't feel so empty anymore.

692
00:32:54,480 --> 00:32:57,600
Speaker 5: One day, after we'd become close friends, he just kissed

693
00:32:57,600 --> 00:32:59,840
Speaker 5: me on the lips, and it hit me I have

694
00:33:00,080 --> 00:33:03,160
Speaker 5: had feelings for him spicy related one.

695
00:33:03,400 --> 00:33:06,000
Speaker 1: Uh oh, he kissed your lips.

696
00:33:06,280 --> 00:33:10,719
Speaker 5: We ended up hooking up not long after, and it

697
00:33:11,120 --> 00:33:12,080
Speaker 5: was amazing.

698
00:33:12,640 --> 00:33:13,640
Speaker 3: I felt wanted.

699
00:33:14,000 --> 00:33:18,640
Speaker 5: I felt wanted and cherished, and he was so gentle

700
00:33:18,760 --> 00:33:19,360
Speaker 5: and so.

701
00:33:19,640 --> 00:33:21,760
Speaker 1: Generous, generous with his delivery.

702
00:33:22,160 --> 00:33:23,680
Speaker 3: I couldn't get enough of him.

703
00:33:23,960 --> 00:33:26,200
Speaker 5: It felt like he balanced me out in a way

704
00:33:26,360 --> 00:33:29,720
Speaker 5: I didn't know I needed. I finally understood what being

705
00:33:29,800 --> 00:33:33,200
Speaker 5: Polly could really mean, loving more than one person in

706
00:33:33,200 --> 00:33:36,040
Speaker 5: a way that felt real and full. We even joined

707
00:33:36,080 --> 00:33:38,520
Speaker 5: the gym together and started working out. He is a

708
00:33:38,560 --> 00:33:42,000
Speaker 5: busy guy, but always made time for me, always invited

709
00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:45,560
Speaker 5: me into his world and his hobbies. I felt special

710
00:33:45,840 --> 00:33:46,560
Speaker 5: and gigging.

711
00:33:46,640 --> 00:33:49,720
Speaker 1: Okay, so just I feel like what you're really experiencing

712
00:33:49,840 --> 00:33:53,360
Speaker 1: is having a good boyfriend versus a bad one. My

713
00:33:53,440 --> 00:33:56,640
Speaker 1: mic is naked, naked, nobody look at it. Yeah, I

714
00:33:56,680 --> 00:33:59,080
Speaker 1: think this is just what you know, actual love is

715
00:33:59,080 --> 00:34:01,840
Speaker 1: supposed to be. You said this was like your first boyfriend.

716
00:34:02,360 --> 00:34:03,360
Speaker 3: The other one was your first.

717
00:34:03,520 --> 00:34:05,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, so it's like you're just discovering, like, oh, this

718
00:34:05,840 --> 00:34:09,239
Speaker 1: is what a this is what a relationship thought, that's

719
00:34:09,280 --> 00:34:10,480
Speaker 1: what a good partner feels like.

720
00:34:11,480 --> 00:34:15,240
Speaker 5: Then this week, my boyfriend comes to me and says,

721
00:34:15,680 --> 00:34:18,200
Speaker 5: I think we should close the relationship and focus on

722
00:34:18,280 --> 00:34:18,719
Speaker 5: each other.

723
00:34:19,080 --> 00:34:20,040
Speaker 3: I was confused.

724
00:34:20,200 --> 00:34:23,120
Speaker 5: I asked him why things are going really good for us.

725
00:34:23,520 --> 00:34:26,040
Speaker 5: He said, it's time to think about the future and

726
00:34:26,080 --> 00:34:27,440
Speaker 5: building something serious.

727
00:34:28,400 --> 00:34:31,319
Speaker 1: Bro, this guy is so full of it.

728
00:34:31,520 --> 00:34:32,920
Speaker 3: We're thinking about it now.

729
00:34:33,200 --> 00:34:35,400
Speaker 1: This is when you just leave this guy and you

730
00:34:35,480 --> 00:34:37,680
Speaker 1: start dating the other guy that you.

731
00:34:37,640 --> 00:34:39,560
Speaker 3: Like, the one that makes you giddy.

732
00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:43,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, because this guy is the gwitty That was what

733
00:34:43,480 --> 00:34:45,160
Speaker 1: he should have said. At the He said, Hey, I

734
00:34:45,200 --> 00:34:49,480
Speaker 1: feel like our relationship is losing its you know, magic,

735
00:34:49,600 --> 00:34:52,880
Speaker 1: it's pizzazz. And then it's like, let's focus on us

736
00:34:52,960 --> 00:34:56,200
Speaker 1: and like really try to, you know, bring a back

737
00:34:56,400 --> 00:34:58,360
Speaker 1: quality time to our relationship.

738
00:34:58,440 --> 00:35:00,480
Speaker 5: It just feels like he had a girl in that

739
00:35:00,520 --> 00:35:02,439
Speaker 5: he was like, I'm gonna go off with this girl

740
00:35:02,440 --> 00:35:04,120
Speaker 5: for a little bit. Oh, I'm kind of bored of

741
00:35:04,120 --> 00:35:06,040
Speaker 5: this girl, and you kind of like seem like you're

742
00:35:06,080 --> 00:35:08,520
Speaker 5: trying to maybe get interested in someone else. So I'm

743
00:35:08,719 --> 00:35:10,320
Speaker 5: I think we should close this off because I'm not

744
00:35:10,360 --> 00:35:11,040
Speaker 5: comfortable anymore.

745
00:35:11,160 --> 00:35:12,800
Speaker 1: Hundred percent. I bet he got rejected.

746
00:35:13,000 --> 00:35:16,880
Speaker 5: Then he brought up religion. You're a Catholic. You should understand.

747
00:35:17,000 --> 00:35:19,360
Speaker 5: If you want this to last, it has to just

748
00:35:19,440 --> 00:35:22,320
Speaker 5: be the two of us. When I hesitated, he started

749
00:35:22,320 --> 00:35:25,920
Speaker 5: guilt tripping me, like I was doing something wrong, like

750
00:35:26,080 --> 00:35:28,040
Speaker 5: I wasn't thinking about us.

751
00:35:28,320 --> 00:35:29,840
Speaker 3: I love him, I really.

752
00:35:29,600 --> 00:35:31,640
Speaker 5: Do, but now I feel confused.

753
00:35:32,200 --> 00:35:35,000
Speaker 3: I feel upset. I didn't ask for any of this.

754
00:35:35,320 --> 00:35:38,080
Speaker 5: He opened the door and I just followed because I

755
00:35:38,120 --> 00:35:40,800
Speaker 5: loved him, and now that I found a little peace,

756
00:35:40,960 --> 00:35:43,640
Speaker 5: a little joy, he wants to shut it all down.

757
00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:46,480
Speaker 5: It feels unfair and I don't know what to do.

758
00:35:46,960 --> 00:35:50,480
Speaker 5: I'm here for advice and support. I feel so depressed

759
00:35:50,520 --> 00:35:53,080
Speaker 5: about this issue, and we have some comments. As a

760
00:35:53,120 --> 00:35:56,640
Speaker 5: Polly person, what he did and is doing isn't Polly.

761
00:35:57,000 --> 00:36:00,319
Speaker 5: It's cheating with extra steps. Polly has to be worked

762
00:36:00,360 --> 00:36:01,319
Speaker 5: on and agreed upon.

763
00:36:01,360 --> 00:36:04,760
Speaker 3: By all parties. You go in together, you go out together.

764
00:36:05,040 --> 00:36:08,000
Speaker 5: You can't just drag your partner along and then unilaterally

765
00:36:08,160 --> 00:36:12,200
Speaker 5: decide to close. If he lost the spark after only

766
00:36:12,280 --> 00:36:14,920
Speaker 5: three and a half years and you're twenty one, he

767
00:36:15,080 --> 00:36:17,560
Speaker 5: is not in it for the long haul. He does

768
00:36:17,600 --> 00:36:20,600
Speaker 5: not respect you. And this is Opie's moment of clarity.

769
00:36:20,800 --> 00:36:24,000
Speaker 5: Main reason I stayed monogamous was because of my faith

770
00:36:24,040 --> 00:36:26,719
Speaker 5: and my love for him. He knows it and probably

771
00:36:26,760 --> 00:36:29,560
Speaker 5: banked on that. I have the clarity I needed after

772
00:36:29,600 --> 00:36:31,720
Speaker 5: posting here, I'm ending it.

773
00:36:31,719 --> 00:36:37,879
Speaker 1: All right, nice post, post clarity, and.

774
00:36:37,960 --> 00:36:38,720
Speaker 3: We have an update.

775
00:36:38,960 --> 00:36:41,080
Speaker 5: I spoke to my boyfriend and told him I don't

776
00:36:41,120 --> 00:36:42,799
Speaker 5: want to close the open relationship.

777
00:36:43,000 --> 00:36:44,600
Speaker 3: I've grown to really.

778
00:36:44,400 --> 00:36:46,880
Speaker 5: Enjoy dating the other guy, and it's not something I

779
00:36:46,920 --> 00:36:49,640
Speaker 5: agreed to just experiment. I told him it should be

780
00:36:49,680 --> 00:36:52,520
Speaker 5: a joint decision. You can't just open and close a

781
00:36:52,560 --> 00:36:57,360
Speaker 5: relationship as you please, especially when someone else's feelings are involved.

782
00:36:57,560 --> 00:37:00,319
Speaker 5: I also told him I was incredibly disappointed that he

783
00:37:00,400 --> 00:37:03,319
Speaker 5: brought up my faith, knowing how much trauma and gil

784
00:37:03,440 --> 00:37:07,800
Speaker 5: I've carried from my religious upbringing, it felt manipulative and unfair.

785
00:37:08,080 --> 00:37:11,840
Speaker 5: He didn't respond to my comments. About religion, but instead said,

786
00:37:12,280 --> 00:37:14,080
Speaker 5: if you want a future with me, this needs to

787
00:37:14,239 --> 00:37:16,800
Speaker 5: end or we're done. I told him, then.

788
00:37:16,680 --> 00:37:19,239
Speaker 3: It's done exactly. I said.

789
00:37:19,239 --> 00:37:22,520
Speaker 5: They offer you the door and then you just go, okay.

790
00:37:22,600 --> 00:37:25,720
Speaker 1: They're like, she won't walk out, and then you walk out.

791
00:37:25,600 --> 00:37:27,120
Speaker 3: And go that's.

792
00:37:32,040 --> 00:37:34,400
Speaker 1: Yeah. You weren't supposed to be with anyone else.

793
00:37:34,600 --> 00:37:36,560
Speaker 3: She wouldn't let me make a pickle pie.

794
00:37:37,120 --> 00:37:42,400
Speaker 1: So I said, we're done, ilse mad if I promise

795
00:37:42,600 --> 00:37:46,120
Speaker 1: from now on, I'm not gonna say pickle pie ever again?

796
00:37:46,600 --> 00:37:46,920
Speaker 3: All right?

797
00:37:47,160 --> 00:37:48,279
Speaker 1: Go?

798
00:37:48,320 --> 00:37:51,080
Speaker 5: I hate it and said I was throwing away nearly

799
00:37:51,239 --> 00:37:53,880
Speaker 5: four years for a guy I've only been seeing for

800
00:37:53,920 --> 00:37:56,720
Speaker 5: a few months, and tried to make me feel guilty,

801
00:37:56,920 --> 00:37:59,279
Speaker 5: but I reminded him that he was the one who

802
00:37:59,400 --> 00:38:02,320
Speaker 5: lost this bark, who wanted to sleep with other women,

803
00:38:02,640 --> 00:38:04,480
Speaker 5: and who opened the relationship in.

804
00:38:04,480 --> 00:38:06,000
Speaker 3: The first place, not me.

805
00:38:06,600 --> 00:38:09,080
Speaker 5: I just agreed because I loved him and hoped he

806
00:38:09,080 --> 00:38:11,480
Speaker 5: would realize I'm the only one for him.

807
00:38:11,719 --> 00:38:12,759
Speaker 3: I didn't ask for this.

808
00:38:13,160 --> 00:38:16,240
Speaker 5: After some time he calmed down, we had a long

809
00:38:16,360 --> 00:38:19,760
Speaker 5: emotional conversation. He cried, he apologized.

810
00:38:20,239 --> 00:38:21,600
Speaker 3: He told me he should have.

811
00:38:21,840 --> 00:38:25,879
Speaker 5: Ended things instead of trying to fix our relationship. With polyamory.

812
00:38:26,080 --> 00:38:28,960
Speaker 5: He admitted he still loves me and that seeing me

813
00:38:29,040 --> 00:38:31,920
Speaker 5: happy with someone else made him jealous, even though he

814
00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:34,120
Speaker 5: knew he had no right to be. He said, he

815
00:38:34,200 --> 00:38:37,279
Speaker 5: probably deserves the pain, and he respects my decision to

816
00:38:37,360 --> 00:38:39,880
Speaker 5: end it. We hugged and agreed that even though our

817
00:38:39,920 --> 00:38:44,080
Speaker 5: relationship is over, the first two years were beautiful, even together.

818
00:38:43,880 --> 00:38:48,239
Speaker 1: Three and a half, be still my heart. I'm sorry,

819
00:38:48,960 --> 00:38:51,279
Speaker 1: who is this guy? This was your first? It makes

820
00:38:51,320 --> 00:38:53,200
Speaker 1: sense this was your first because you just don't know.

821
00:38:54,080 --> 00:38:56,040
Speaker 1: You know, you're like twenty one. You just don't know

822
00:38:56,120 --> 00:38:59,720
Speaker 1: that this guy is kind of garbious. You don't understand

823
00:38:59,719 --> 00:39:02,680
Speaker 1: what prospects are out there. I can't imagine saying that

824
00:39:02,880 --> 00:39:04,200
Speaker 1: to a partner.

825
00:39:04,320 --> 00:39:08,160
Speaker 3: They mutually agreed that one. We hugged and agreed, all right.

826
00:39:08,320 --> 00:39:10,200
Speaker 1: You should have ended a year and a half ago.

827
00:39:10,719 --> 00:39:13,520
Speaker 5: Will always have a place in each other's hearts, even

828
00:39:13,560 --> 00:39:16,680
Speaker 5: though the relationship has run its course. Later, I met

829
00:39:16,760 --> 00:39:19,120
Speaker 5: up with the other guy I've been seeing. I told

830
00:39:19,200 --> 00:39:21,960
Speaker 5: him everything. I ended things with my boyfriend because I

831
00:39:21,960 --> 00:39:24,120
Speaker 5: didn't want to let him go. I told him I'm

832
00:39:24,120 --> 00:39:27,080
Speaker 5: not rushing into anything that I don't expect him to

833
00:39:27,160 --> 00:39:29,600
Speaker 5: give me all of his time or energy right away,

834
00:39:29,719 --> 00:39:31,799
Speaker 5: but I'd love to date and see where things go.

835
00:39:32,120 --> 00:39:35,480
Speaker 5: That's when he opened up and told me that watching

836
00:39:35,520 --> 00:39:37,680
Speaker 5: me stay with my boyfriend while we were seeing each

837
00:39:37,680 --> 00:39:40,279
Speaker 5: other was hard. He said it hurt him, but he

838
00:39:40,360 --> 00:39:42,600
Speaker 5: kept quiet because he liked me so much and knew

839
00:39:42,600 --> 00:39:45,120
Speaker 5: what he was getting into. He never intended to be

840
00:39:45,320 --> 00:39:48,439
Speaker 5: in a polyamorous relationship, but only agreed to it because

841
00:39:48,480 --> 00:39:50,719
Speaker 5: he really wanted to be with me and didn't want

842
00:39:50,760 --> 00:39:54,160
Speaker 5: to lose the chance. He secretly hoped we'd break up because,

843
00:39:54,160 --> 00:39:57,600
Speaker 5: in his words, you deserve someone who wants you completely.

844
00:39:58,000 --> 00:40:00,440
Speaker 1: Well, I'm glad that you found this guy who actually

845
00:40:00,440 --> 00:40:03,440
Speaker 1: will treat you right and cares about you. Yaya to

846
00:40:03,520 --> 00:40:03,919
Speaker 1: the gym.

847
00:40:04,440 --> 00:40:06,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, they have a gym membership together.

848
00:40:06,239 --> 00:40:08,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, put the gym together. He's a busy guy, but

849
00:40:08,960 --> 00:40:11,359
Speaker 1: he reminds me, still thinks of her, and hangs out

850
00:40:11,360 --> 00:40:13,400
Speaker 1: with her in his free times.

851
00:40:14,000 --> 00:40:16,640
Speaker 5: He said he likes me a lot, sees the future

852
00:40:16,680 --> 00:40:19,160
Speaker 5: with me, and wants to just date each other for now.

853
00:40:19,280 --> 00:40:22,840
Speaker 5: We're not rushing into exclusivity, but we've both agreed not

854
00:40:22,880 --> 00:40:25,759
Speaker 5: to see other people and see how this naturally unfolds.

855
00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:28,000
Speaker 3: We already know we like each other and.

856
00:40:28,080 --> 00:40:30,600
Speaker 5: Don't want to see anyone else. At the same time,

857
00:40:30,760 --> 00:40:33,880
Speaker 5: I don't want to jump into an exclusive relationship. I

858
00:40:34,080 --> 00:40:36,200
Speaker 5: just want to take my time since I left my

859
00:40:36,320 --> 00:40:37,799
Speaker 5: first long term relationship.

860
00:40:38,160 --> 00:40:39,440
Speaker 3: I hope that makes sense.

861
00:40:39,840 --> 00:40:42,120
Speaker 5: So even though I'm mourning the loss of my first

862
00:40:42,120 --> 00:40:44,960
Speaker 5: relationship that meant the world to me for a long time,

863
00:40:45,480 --> 00:40:48,759
Speaker 5: I feel hopeful. I feel like I'm stepping into something new,

864
00:40:49,000 --> 00:40:53,360
Speaker 5: something healthy, something that only involves just two people.

865
00:40:53,760 --> 00:40:55,680
Speaker 3: Loo And that's the end of that story.

866
00:40:56,480 --> 00:40:59,680
Speaker 1: My ex betrayed me with my best friend, so I

867
00:40:59,719 --> 00:41:01,120
Speaker 1: cut them off for good.

868
00:41:01,680 --> 00:41:03,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, that makes sense.

869
00:41:03,640 --> 00:41:09,000
Speaker 1: Betrayal. I eighteen female and my ex eighteen female dated

870
00:41:09,000 --> 00:41:11,239
Speaker 1: for almost two years back in high school. She was

871
00:41:11,280 --> 00:41:14,759
Speaker 1: a lot of my firsts as I'm by and had

872
00:41:14,880 --> 00:41:18,200
Speaker 1: only had one unofficial girlfriend before her, and she was

873
00:41:18,320 --> 00:41:21,160
Speaker 1: a lover of women who had a couple of girlfriends

874
00:41:21,200 --> 00:41:24,600
Speaker 1: before me. I'll call my ex Jana, my best friend

875
00:41:24,680 --> 00:41:28,800
Speaker 1: Harper nineteen female, and my other mentioned friend as Mia.

876
00:41:29,360 --> 00:41:32,680
Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from user shoddy Dentist twenty

877
00:41:32,719 --> 00:41:35,000
Speaker 1: eight forty one. We got a real crenticst on our hands,

878
00:41:35,280 --> 00:41:36,920
Speaker 1: and if you want to submit your own stories, go

879
00:41:36,920 --> 00:41:39,000
Speaker 1: to the r slash oowkay, storytime suburn it. I'm Dakoto,

880
00:41:39,160 --> 00:41:42,279
Speaker 1: I'm Carl, What's little kids, And we're here to give

881
00:41:42,280 --> 00:41:43,719
Speaker 1: you a good advice goofley, But we don't have all

882
00:41:43,719 --> 00:41:45,160
Speaker 1: the answers. We only know what we would do. So

883
00:41:45,200 --> 00:41:46,759
Speaker 1: if you would do something different, let us know in

884
00:41:46,840 --> 00:41:51,640
Speaker 1: the comments and be nice and cute and stuff, and

885
00:41:51,880 --> 00:41:55,759
Speaker 1: Op says. Jana and I were friends, but I was

886
00:41:55,840 --> 00:41:58,000
Speaker 1: in the closet and had turned her down when she

887
00:41:58,120 --> 00:42:01,400
Speaker 1: asked me out in freshman year, so until she began

888
00:42:01,560 --> 00:42:04,640
Speaker 1: dating one of my oldest friends, Mia, Gianna and I

889
00:42:04,960 --> 00:42:08,279
Speaker 1: rekindled our friendship, but obviously didn't go further than that.

890
00:42:08,600 --> 00:42:11,719
Speaker 1: Loyalty to my friend was the priority. At some point,

891
00:42:11,800 --> 00:42:13,960
Speaker 1: the two of them broke up, leading to Gianna and

892
00:42:14,040 --> 00:42:16,960
Speaker 1: I becoming closer than usual. Mia had moved on to

893
00:42:17,080 --> 00:42:20,000
Speaker 1: a different relationship already, and she and I spoke clearly

894
00:42:20,040 --> 00:42:23,160
Speaker 1: about my own blossoming relationship with Gianna, in which Mia

895
00:42:23,239 --> 00:42:25,440
Speaker 1: told me she didn't mind us dating and that she

896
00:42:25,600 --> 00:42:29,080
Speaker 1: was even rooting for me. No drama there, just clear

897
00:42:29,520 --> 00:42:33,880
Speaker 1: communication for context. Harper was my first lady crush, and

898
00:42:34,000 --> 00:42:37,240
Speaker 1: we had been unofficially on and off throughout middle school.

899
00:42:37,800 --> 00:42:39,440
Speaker 1: The summer just before high school, both of us were

900
00:42:39,480 --> 00:42:42,239
Speaker 1: getting into trouble with our families finding out about us

901
00:42:42,480 --> 00:42:46,200
Speaker 1: passive proclivities, so we both went right back into the closet.

902
00:42:46,360 --> 00:42:49,319
Speaker 1: I actually regressed so far back that I genuinely thought

903
00:42:49,360 --> 00:42:51,080
Speaker 1: I was straight for my first year of high school,

904
00:42:51,120 --> 00:42:54,080
Speaker 1: despite my very obvious previous feelings for Happa. When I

905
00:42:54,239 --> 00:42:57,440
Speaker 1: finally left the closet again during the pandemic, Gianna and

906
00:42:57,520 --> 00:42:59,799
Speaker 1: I became friends again, and Harper and I were best

907
00:42:59,800 --> 00:43:03,120
Speaker 1: friend friends. Harper had different after school activities than I did,

908
00:43:03,239 --> 00:43:05,600
Speaker 1: so we got used to not seeing each other much,

909
00:43:05,800 --> 00:43:10,280
Speaker 1: especially during online school, but I consistently sent her texts

910
00:43:10,320 --> 00:43:12,920
Speaker 1: to tell her about my day and to ask about hers.

911
00:43:13,080 --> 00:43:15,279
Speaker 1: I never minded being the first one to reach out

912
00:43:15,360 --> 00:43:18,080
Speaker 1: because she was always kind of without an online presence,

913
00:43:18,200 --> 00:43:21,479
Speaker 1: but I loved our conversations. I even told her about

914
00:43:21,480 --> 00:43:24,120
Speaker 1: my feelings for Gianna. She supported me during that period

915
00:43:24,200 --> 00:43:26,960
Speaker 1: and teased me when Gianna and I did start dating.

916
00:43:27,200 --> 00:43:29,880
Speaker 1: She's like, Ooh, you got a good friend that.

917
00:43:30,000 --> 00:43:33,680
Speaker 3: You like a little liker like her, of girl.

918
00:43:36,640 --> 00:43:41,480
Speaker 1: Gianna, more like you g wanna kiss her. It was

919
00:43:41,680 --> 00:43:46,160
Speaker 1: a nice balance, or so I thought. That's right here

920
00:43:46,239 --> 00:43:49,960
Speaker 1: comes the betrayal. I'd had a nice amount of good

921
00:43:50,080 --> 00:43:53,520
Speaker 1: friends from middle school going into high school, but we

922
00:43:53,600 --> 00:43:55,440
Speaker 1: weren't the kind of friends that went out to the

923
00:43:55,560 --> 00:43:58,279
Speaker 1: mall or to eat. We were fine with that, but

924
00:43:58,360 --> 00:44:00,600
Speaker 1: the more I spent time going out with Gianna and

925
00:44:00,680 --> 00:44:03,040
Speaker 1: her friends, the more I enjoyed actually being out of

926
00:44:03,120 --> 00:44:05,320
Speaker 1: the house. I had a really tough upbringing, so it

927
00:44:05,440 --> 00:44:07,400
Speaker 1: took me all these years to break away from a

928
00:44:07,440 --> 00:44:10,399
Speaker 1: lot of my old social norms. Gianna knew about most

929
00:44:10,480 --> 00:44:13,200
Speaker 1: of my childhood traumas, and though she couldn't do much

930
00:44:13,239 --> 00:44:16,360
Speaker 1: to help, she was supportive. I admit wholeheartedly that my

931
00:44:16,480 --> 00:44:19,759
Speaker 1: problems at home affected too much of our relationship. Back then,

932
00:44:19,840 --> 00:44:25,920
Speaker 1: my parents were not supportive of my attraction to Gianna,

933
00:44:26,120 --> 00:44:29,440
Speaker 1: so when they found out about Gianna, they forced me

934
00:44:29,560 --> 00:44:31,840
Speaker 1: to break up with her. I told her exactly what happened,

935
00:44:31,960 --> 00:44:34,840
Speaker 1: so she understood, but we were both heartbroken. I stayed

936
00:44:34,920 --> 00:44:37,080
Speaker 1: home crying before finding out she had gone to a

937
00:44:37,120 --> 00:44:40,200
Speaker 1: football game with her friends, laughing and buying drinks. I

938
00:44:40,320 --> 00:44:42,799
Speaker 1: only found out because my parents spotted her there when

939
00:44:42,960 --> 00:44:45,520
Speaker 1: picking up my brother. I was torn apart because I

940
00:44:45,680 --> 00:44:47,520
Speaker 1: was convinced she was as hurt as I was, but

941
00:44:47,640 --> 00:44:49,600
Speaker 1: it didn't matter enough for her to not go out

942
00:44:49,640 --> 00:44:52,200
Speaker 1: and have fun anyway. I know this is probably going

943
00:44:52,280 --> 00:44:56,120
Speaker 1: to be worse, but that isn't really a bad thing.

944
00:44:56,680 --> 00:44:59,680
Speaker 1: People cope with breakups in different ways. You don't have to,

945
00:45:00,120 --> 00:45:02,480
Speaker 1: you know, just be sad at home.

946
00:45:02,640 --> 00:45:04,480
Speaker 3: Right, Some people cope by going out.

947
00:45:04,719 --> 00:45:06,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, you should never cope by hooking up with your

948
00:45:06,880 --> 00:45:07,720
Speaker 1: ex's best friend.

949
00:45:08,000 --> 00:45:11,040
Speaker 3: No, that's probably one of the worst ones to do.

950
00:45:11,400 --> 00:45:18,040
Speaker 1: That's yeah, that's evil, hope, he continues. But we got

951
00:45:18,120 --> 00:45:22,600
Speaker 1: back together anyway. Okayh congrats job for now. I guess

952
00:45:23,000 --> 00:45:26,000
Speaker 1: secretly at first, and despite my sadness about her not

953
00:45:26,239 --> 00:45:28,319
Speaker 1: caring like I did. It was a long time before

954
00:45:28,400 --> 00:45:31,120
Speaker 1: my parents tolerated our relationship. We dated for a while,

955
00:45:31,239 --> 00:45:33,640
Speaker 1: but we proceeded to have other breakups due to our

956
00:45:33,800 --> 00:45:36,680
Speaker 1: vast differences in opinion and our refusal to just move on.

957
00:45:37,160 --> 00:45:39,759
Speaker 1: I grew codependent, which was my own fault, because I

958
00:45:39,800 --> 00:45:41,520
Speaker 1: had always known she wasn't the kind of girl to

959
00:45:41,600 --> 00:45:43,600
Speaker 1: get attached. I should have known better, but I was

960
00:45:43,680 --> 00:45:45,960
Speaker 1: too invested and in love to call it quits. It

961
00:45:46,000 --> 00:45:48,400
Speaker 1: didn't matter what she caused me to feel because I

962
00:45:48,719 --> 00:45:51,320
Speaker 1: was also convinced all our problems were my fault. I

963
00:45:51,440 --> 00:45:53,839
Speaker 1: was the emotional one, hurt by all the time she'd

964
00:45:53,920 --> 00:45:56,600
Speaker 1: tell her friends about my problems at home, hurt by

965
00:45:56,680 --> 00:45:59,200
Speaker 1: her refusing to say I love you first, Hurt by

966
00:45:59,280 --> 00:46:01,319
Speaker 1: her never come meant to me anymore like she did

967
00:46:01,360 --> 00:46:03,560
Speaker 1: in the first months of dating, hurt by her treating

968
00:46:03,640 --> 00:46:06,759
Speaker 1: me as an afterthought. Then halfway through junior year, I

969
00:46:06,920 --> 00:46:08,960
Speaker 1: was hurt by her getting closer and closer to my

970
00:46:09,080 --> 00:46:12,840
Speaker 1: best friend, Harper. Harper and I have been very close

971
00:46:12,880 --> 00:46:15,520
Speaker 1: for all these years, but Harper and Gianna had more

972
00:46:15,560 --> 00:46:17,879
Speaker 1: in common. It got to a point where Gianna began

973
00:46:18,040 --> 00:46:21,000
Speaker 1: joining all of Harper's extra curriculars and bringing up Harper

974
00:46:21,120 --> 00:46:24,360
Speaker 1: in all of our conversations. They even skipped school together

975
00:46:24,600 --> 00:46:27,000
Speaker 1: with two other friends and left me behind despite me

976
00:46:27,080 --> 00:46:29,720
Speaker 1: advising them not to skip. Gianna and I fought often,

977
00:46:29,840 --> 00:46:31,880
Speaker 1: almost always about how close she was to Harper, and

978
00:46:31,960 --> 00:46:33,880
Speaker 1: I never blamed Harper for any of it, because it

979
00:46:33,960 --> 00:46:36,480
Speaker 1: was Gianna who was my girlfriend. We even went to

980
00:46:36,760 --> 00:46:40,560
Speaker 1: six Flags with one of our school clumbs. I regretted

981
00:46:40,600 --> 00:46:43,360
Speaker 1: the entire trip because I had to stand in line

982
00:46:43,520 --> 00:46:46,759
Speaker 1: beside Harper and Gianna while they play fought. Gianna was

983
00:46:46,800 --> 00:46:49,000
Speaker 1: all over her with her arms around her shoulders and laughing.

984
00:46:49,160 --> 00:46:51,239
Speaker 1: I also ended up having a panic attack after one

985
00:46:51,239 --> 00:46:53,680
Speaker 1: of the rides, and at least Harper was there for me,

986
00:46:54,040 --> 00:46:55,720
Speaker 1: offering to help me find coffee.

987
00:46:56,800 --> 00:46:58,920
Speaker 6: No, no, oh, yeah, you're like, you know what I

988
00:46:59,080 --> 00:47:00,640
Speaker 6: really need to make my heart?

989
00:47:00,719 --> 00:47:01,960
Speaker 3: My heart go calling more.

990
00:47:03,000 --> 00:47:06,439
Speaker 1: That's the most teenager thing I've ever heard in my life. Yeah,

991
00:47:06,520 --> 00:47:08,800
Speaker 1: I had a panic attack. I need espresso.

992
00:47:09,560 --> 00:47:11,759
Speaker 3: You want to straight espresso right now?

993
00:47:12,080 --> 00:47:15,160
Speaker 1: H I'm glad we all froze at the same moment. No, no, no, no, no,

994
00:47:15,280 --> 00:47:20,120
Speaker 1: no no no. Harper was generally just beside me while

995
00:47:20,200 --> 00:47:22,800
Speaker 1: Gianna had to leave because of her club duties. No

996
00:47:22,880 --> 00:47:25,000
Speaker 1: matter how often Gianna and I thought about Harper, I

997
00:47:25,080 --> 00:47:26,960
Speaker 1: never told Harper about it. I didn't want Harper to

998
00:47:26,960 --> 00:47:28,759
Speaker 1: feel like she was at fault when she simply had

999
00:47:28,800 --> 00:47:31,000
Speaker 1: no idea. But I was struggling. I don't know why

1000
00:47:31,000 --> 00:47:33,560
Speaker 1: I kept dating Gianna except that I was too dependent

1001
00:47:33,640 --> 00:47:35,879
Speaker 1: on her. Gianna straight up asked me if she could

1002
00:47:35,920 --> 00:47:38,920
Speaker 1: buy Harper a rose during one of Harper's musical performances.

1003
00:47:39,080 --> 00:47:41,040
Speaker 1: At least it was for that specific occasion, but the

1004
00:47:41,120 --> 00:47:43,520
Speaker 1: fact that she asked when she never put that effort

1005
00:47:43,560 --> 00:47:45,520
Speaker 1: in for me. Upset me a lot. I feel like

1006
00:47:45,600 --> 00:47:49,399
Speaker 1: her even asking just like means she knows that it's bad. Yeah,

1007
00:47:49,640 --> 00:47:51,000
Speaker 1: She's like, I need the permission.

1008
00:47:51,160 --> 00:47:55,000
Speaker 5: This is such a little like middle school starting high

1009
00:47:55,080 --> 00:47:56,600
Speaker 5: school relationship.

1010
00:47:56,920 --> 00:48:00,360
Speaker 1: I'm like wow. During our arguments, Gianna would tell me

1011
00:48:00,520 --> 00:48:02,600
Speaker 1: she'd pick Harper over me if I ever put an

1012
00:48:02,680 --> 00:48:05,120
Speaker 1: ultimatum up. So, for some stupid reason, I took that

1013
00:48:05,239 --> 00:48:07,720
Speaker 1: as a sign that I was in the wrong. Finally,

1014
00:48:07,840 --> 00:48:10,960
Speaker 1: Gianna and I broke up on New Year's twenty twenty two. Oh, Pee,

1015
00:48:10,960 --> 00:48:14,279
Speaker 1: at least you had this terrible toxic relationship early in

1016
00:48:14,360 --> 00:48:16,480
Speaker 1: your life, so that now you know all the signs.

1017
00:48:16,840 --> 00:48:19,400
Speaker 1: You know. Gianna broke up with me over text, and

1018
00:48:19,520 --> 00:48:21,279
Speaker 1: I had to call her to actually talk about it,

1019
00:48:21,440 --> 00:48:23,719
Speaker 1: more like cry about it to each other. It was over,

1020
00:48:24,000 --> 00:48:26,200
Speaker 1: and back then I thought the world would end because

1021
00:48:26,239 --> 00:48:28,440
Speaker 1: I had imagined living my whole life with her. Thankfully,

1022
00:48:28,480 --> 00:48:30,560
Speaker 1: I'm a teenager and my world did not end. I

1023
00:48:30,680 --> 00:48:30,960
Speaker 1: don't know.

1024
00:48:31,840 --> 00:48:35,880
Speaker 6: Sounds like, yeah, it sounds like when when you're a

1025
00:48:35,920 --> 00:48:38,680
Speaker 6: teenager that is your world. It seems like it's ending.

1026
00:48:38,719 --> 00:48:40,640
Speaker 1: But good for you, Opie. I guess yeah, you did it.

1027
00:48:40,920 --> 00:48:44,239
Speaker 1: I finally told Harper the truth. I explained every single thing,

1028
00:48:44,280 --> 00:48:46,680
Speaker 1: including the fact that Gianna had been gradually falling in

1029
00:48:46,760 --> 00:48:48,680
Speaker 1: love with her all this time, and that I never

1030
00:48:48,760 --> 00:48:50,960
Speaker 1: blamed Harper but that I thought she deserved to know.

1031
00:48:51,320 --> 00:48:54,360
Speaker 1: Harper told me she'd remain neutral with Gianna. That should

1032
00:48:54,400 --> 00:48:56,880
Speaker 1: have been the first red flag, but I was blind,

1033
00:48:57,320 --> 00:48:59,879
Speaker 1: Like an idiot. I got close to Harper all over again,

1034
00:49:00,200 --> 00:49:03,239
Speaker 1: even realizing I was starting to feel something for her again.

1035
00:49:03,480 --> 00:49:05,880
Speaker 1: But I chose to prioritize my friendship with her because

1036
00:49:05,880 --> 00:49:08,520
Speaker 1: I hated how distant we got because of Gianna. Oh

1037
00:49:08,560 --> 00:49:11,560
Speaker 1: that's right, I forgot Op's like first lady crush was Harper.

1038
00:49:12,040 --> 00:49:14,680
Speaker 1: Harper was the one that she realized I got feelings

1039
00:49:14,719 --> 00:49:15,400
Speaker 1: for this lady.

1040
00:49:15,520 --> 00:49:19,480
Speaker 5: There's way too many strings attached here, like I need

1041
00:49:19,560 --> 00:49:20,760
Speaker 5: to move on and find someone.

1042
00:49:21,840 --> 00:49:24,640
Speaker 6: WHATNA call it like investigation boards. This is what it

1043
00:49:24,680 --> 00:49:27,400
Speaker 6: feels like, and there's too many strings across or attached

1044
00:49:27,440 --> 00:49:30,560
Speaker 6: and is not looking good. It's like Charlie days, I'm

1045
00:49:30,600 --> 00:49:31,279
Speaker 6: figuring it out.

1046
00:49:31,440 --> 00:49:35,200
Speaker 1: There is no Peppe Sylvia. Yeah, Charlie, all of these

1047
00:49:35,239 --> 00:49:37,960
Speaker 1: people exist, and all they're talking about is where is

1048
00:49:37,960 --> 00:49:40,960
Speaker 1: their male senior year was halfway done, and I surprisingly

1049
00:49:41,040 --> 00:49:43,360
Speaker 1: got over Gianna within a month and began to rediscover

1050
00:49:43,440 --> 00:49:46,760
Speaker 1: my independence. I had a couple close, amazing friends, excluding

1051
00:49:46,840 --> 00:49:49,040
Speaker 1: Harper because she chose to stay friends with Gianna and

1052
00:49:49,160 --> 00:49:51,640
Speaker 1: left me behind. I was directing in my theater club

1053
00:49:51,719 --> 00:49:55,200
Speaker 1: with my actual friends. I got accepted into an amazing college,

1054
00:49:55,280 --> 00:49:57,759
Speaker 1: got to be roommates with my current best friend, and

1055
00:49:57,840 --> 00:50:00,640
Speaker 1: I'm finally happy. I even have a new balance with

1056
00:50:00,719 --> 00:50:03,800
Speaker 1: my home life, reconnecting with my closest cousins and gradually

1057
00:50:03,880 --> 00:50:08,080
Speaker 1: finding inner piece. I also matured from my past mistakes,

1058
00:50:08,080 --> 00:50:10,320
Speaker 1: and I feel good about myself. From the beginning of

1059
00:50:10,360 --> 00:50:13,080
Speaker 1: the summer to now, I actually began writing my first

1060
00:50:13,160 --> 00:50:20,400
Speaker 1: full length book. What the genre is in detective fiction, okay, Batman,

1061
00:50:20,800 --> 00:50:22,840
Speaker 1: But the story was my way of coping with the

1062
00:50:22,920 --> 00:50:25,000
Speaker 1: loss of a friend and what it means to garner

1063
00:50:25,080 --> 00:50:28,200
Speaker 1: independence after a betrayal for obvious reasons. The book has

1064
00:50:28,280 --> 00:50:30,880
Speaker 1: greater weight and consequences than a silly high school drama,

1065
00:50:31,239 --> 00:50:33,640
Speaker 1: but it sure as heck helps me cope. It's gratifying

1066
00:50:33,680 --> 00:50:35,279
Speaker 1: to look at my drafts and see how much came

1067
00:50:35,320 --> 00:50:37,920
Speaker 1: out of my previously unresolved pain because I'm in a

1068
00:50:38,040 --> 00:50:41,880
Speaker 1: much brighter place now. I think, Yeah, good on you, teenager,

1069
00:50:42,000 --> 00:50:45,120
Speaker 1: moving on, moving on up. Life is great. I was

1070
00:50:45,200 --> 00:50:48,239
Speaker 1: sad about losing my supposed best friend, but over the

1071
00:50:48,280 --> 00:50:50,280
Speaker 1: summer I found out from one of my actual friends

1072
00:50:50,280 --> 00:50:54,680
Speaker 1: that Harper and Gianna did indeed start dating. I felt

1073
00:50:54,719 --> 00:50:57,640
Speaker 1: betrayed all over again, but I also always saw it coming.

1074
00:50:57,840 --> 00:50:59,520
Speaker 1: It didn't matter how much the two of them gas

1075
00:50:59,640 --> 00:51:01,719
Speaker 1: lit me in believing they were just friends. But at

1076
00:51:01,719 --> 00:51:04,120
Speaker 1: the very least, I'm happy knowing they deserve each other

1077
00:51:04,360 --> 00:51:06,400
Speaker 1: at least this way. If they keep dating, no other

1078
00:51:06,480 --> 00:51:08,799
Speaker 1: girl will have to deal with the consequences of dating them.

1079
00:51:09,160 --> 00:51:13,440
Speaker 1: Good riddance. Yay, we did it. That's the right where

1080
00:51:13,480 --> 00:51:16,200
Speaker 1: we want to be. We did it. Hey, Yeah, we

1081
00:51:16,360 --> 00:51:18,520
Speaker 1: got there. We got there. I'm happy for you. Op.

1082
00:51:18,640 --> 00:51:21,359
Speaker 1: That's the end of that story. Hey is John Ogi host.

1083
00:51:21,400 --> 00:51:22,919
Speaker 1: We're gonna get back to the stories. But a quick

1084
00:51:22,920 --> 00:51:24,440
Speaker 1: freemanu of break of ads from our sponsors.

1085
00:51:25,320 --> 00:51:29,680
Speaker 5: My glow up made my wife insecure. Now she's scared

1086
00:51:29,680 --> 00:51:30,319
Speaker 5: I'll leave her.

1087
00:51:30,760 --> 00:51:32,680
Speaker 1: Oh the glow up blow up.

1088
00:51:33,120 --> 00:51:37,160
Speaker 5: I thirty six male, have been happily married to my wife,

1089
00:51:37,400 --> 00:51:41,240
Speaker 5: thirty four female, for about fifteen years. We met playing

1090
00:51:41,360 --> 00:51:44,839
Speaker 5: Halo three, and I moved across the country for her

1091
00:51:44,920 --> 00:51:47,279
Speaker 5: when I was twenty one and she was nineteen. We

1092
00:51:47,440 --> 00:51:51,080
Speaker 5: aren't officially married since neither of us is religious and we've.

1093
00:51:51,000 --> 00:51:53,200
Speaker 3: Never felt the need for the ceremony. By the way,

1094
00:51:53,320 --> 00:51:53,960
Speaker 3: this is from.

1095
00:51:53,960 --> 00:51:56,720
Speaker 5: Vertex Reaper, and if you want usubmit your own stories,

1096
00:51:56,760 --> 00:51:58,680
Speaker 5: go to the r slash okay storytime separated it.

1097
00:51:58,760 --> 00:52:02,080
Speaker 1: I'm Carly, I'm Keon, and we're.

1098
00:52:02,000 --> 00:52:04,160
Speaker 5: Here to give good advice goofully, but we don't have

1099
00:52:04,360 --> 00:52:06,360
Speaker 5: all the answers. We only know what we would do,

1100
00:52:06,840 --> 00:52:08,600
Speaker 5: So let us know what you would do in the comments.

1101
00:52:08,960 --> 00:52:11,840
Speaker 5: One of the best things about our relationship is that

1102
00:52:12,000 --> 00:52:14,840
Speaker 5: we haven't gotten into a fight one time since we got.

1103
00:52:14,719 --> 00:52:18,040
Speaker 3: Together, not one. I'm so grateful to have her in

1104
00:52:18,120 --> 00:52:18,480
Speaker 3: my life.

1105
00:52:18,680 --> 00:52:21,480
Speaker 5: Four years ago, I had a dad bod and my

1106
00:52:21,640 --> 00:52:24,000
Speaker 5: wife had gotten a bit thick due to the VID.

1107
00:52:24,440 --> 00:52:27,040
Speaker 5: At the end of twenty twenty one, I got diagnosed

1108
00:52:27,040 --> 00:52:30,480
Speaker 5: with type two diabetes. Honestly, I didn't know much about

1109
00:52:30,560 --> 00:52:32,960
Speaker 5: the disease other than you're not supposed to eat sugar

1110
00:52:33,120 --> 00:52:35,640
Speaker 5: and go easy on the carps. When I learned all

1111
00:52:35,719 --> 00:52:38,400
Speaker 5: the terrible things that can happen because of this condition.

1112
00:52:38,840 --> 00:52:39,680
Speaker 3: I freaked out.

1113
00:52:39,880 --> 00:52:43,399
Speaker 5: Losing your limbs, going blind, losing your hearing. It's all

1114
00:52:43,600 --> 00:52:46,280
Speaker 5: so crazy to think about. So I took it seriously

1115
00:52:46,440 --> 00:52:49,359
Speaker 5: and started improving my diet. My A one C got

1116
00:52:49,520 --> 00:52:52,480
Speaker 5: so much better, and my glucose levels averaged around one

1117
00:52:52,560 --> 00:52:55,759
Speaker 5: hundred and twenty. I lost about forty pounds over two

1118
00:52:55,880 --> 00:52:59,279
Speaker 5: years with proper diet, balancing out around two hundred. To

1119
00:52:59,400 --> 00:53:02,040
Speaker 5: be clear, I'm not a tall guy. I'm about five

1120
00:53:02,080 --> 00:53:05,960
Speaker 5: to six, so two hundred is still thick at my height. Fortunately,

1121
00:53:06,080 --> 00:53:08,400
Speaker 5: my wife is five foot, so I'm tall to her,

1122
00:53:08,600 --> 00:53:09,720
Speaker 5: which we both enjoyed.

1123
00:53:10,000 --> 00:53:12,319
Speaker 3: I wanted to lose more weight, so I started going

1124
00:53:12,360 --> 00:53:14,360
Speaker 3: to the gym. I saw immediate results.

1125
00:53:14,560 --> 00:53:18,000
Speaker 5: Since I was already practically keto out of necessity, my

1126
00:53:18,239 --> 00:53:21,719
Speaker 5: high protein, low carb diet was a perfect match. Over

1127
00:53:21,800 --> 00:53:25,520
Speaker 5: the first year, I lost another forty pounds, staying around

1128
00:53:25,640 --> 00:53:28,880
Speaker 5: one sixty. I was losing fat and building muscle at

1129
00:53:28,920 --> 00:53:32,000
Speaker 5: the same time. Now I'm lean, have muscle tone, and

1130
00:53:32,440 --> 00:53:35,880
Speaker 5: instead of avoiding tight shirts, I wear them intentionally. Also,

1131
00:53:36,080 --> 00:53:40,040
Speaker 5: let me tell you my love life improved. Not to

1132
00:53:40,160 --> 00:53:44,040
Speaker 5: give away details, but I last longer. We can do

1133
00:53:44,320 --> 00:53:47,480
Speaker 5: things we couldn't do before, and my wife.

1134
00:53:47,320 --> 00:53:49,080
Speaker 3: Initiates things more often too.

1135
00:53:49,600 --> 00:53:52,279
Speaker 5: My sugar hasn't been over one twenty this whole year,

1136
00:53:52,719 --> 00:53:55,400
Speaker 5: and my A one C is exactly where it should be.

1137
00:53:55,760 --> 00:53:58,640
Speaker 5: I'm living a healthy life and enjoying being in my

1138
00:53:58,760 --> 00:54:00,279
Speaker 5: relationship more than ever.

1139
00:54:00,640 --> 00:54:01,960
Speaker 3: So let's get to the issue.

1140
00:54:02,160 --> 00:54:04,839
Speaker 5: About six months ago, I got offered to move from

1141
00:54:04,920 --> 00:54:06,680
Speaker 5: my company to another company.

1142
00:54:06,920 --> 00:54:09,399
Speaker 3: To be clear, I did not apply for this job.

1143
00:54:09,640 --> 00:54:14,160
Speaker 5: They reached out to me on LinkedIn, and things changed drastically. First,

1144
00:54:14,400 --> 00:54:18,000
Speaker 5: I was no longer working the late shift. Second, my

1145
00:54:18,400 --> 00:54:23,400
Speaker 5: salary increased nearly triple what it was, And lastly, I

1146
00:54:23,520 --> 00:54:26,000
Speaker 5: got a huge signing bonus that would change my life.

1147
00:54:26,080 --> 00:54:28,879
Speaker 5: When I was young, I never got braces. My teeth

1148
00:54:29,000 --> 00:54:31,719
Speaker 5: have always been crooked. This money meant I could have

1149
00:54:31,880 --> 00:54:35,320
Speaker 5: my smile repaired overnight with a full set of veneers.

1150
00:54:35,640 --> 00:54:37,520
Speaker 3: I don't know why that. I was expecting you to

1151
00:54:37,600 --> 00:54:40,400
Speaker 3: be like with braces, like within visies.

1152
00:54:40,440 --> 00:54:42,600
Speaker 1: Give me the porcelain teeth, In said, He's like, now,

1153
00:54:42,680 --> 00:54:45,000
Speaker 1: get rid of them, give me to grind them down,

1154
00:54:45,280 --> 00:54:46,319
Speaker 1: give me the fake ones.

1155
00:54:46,440 --> 00:54:47,120
Speaker 3: It's crazy.

1156
00:54:47,719 --> 00:54:50,640
Speaker 1: It is good. Good veneers are good. The bad veneers,

1157
00:54:50,719 --> 00:54:55,960
Speaker 1: but bad veneers are the worst bad horse teeth scary, scary?

1158
00:54:57,520 --> 00:54:58,280
Speaker 3: Do you have braces?

1159
00:54:58,800 --> 00:55:01,080
Speaker 1: I had braces? Yeah? Do you got braces? Yeah? You

1160
00:55:01,200 --> 00:55:01,600
Speaker 1: know I did.

1161
00:55:01,680 --> 00:55:02,560
Speaker 3: You want to know who didn't?

1162
00:55:02,800 --> 00:55:03,719
Speaker 1: Yeah? And I can tell why.

1163
00:55:04,560 --> 00:55:07,120
Speaker 3: I think he's got really nice teeth because he's so confident.

1164
00:55:07,480 --> 00:55:11,520
Speaker 5: No before everyone jumps on me for destroying my teeth.

1165
00:55:11,719 --> 00:55:14,960
Speaker 5: I also have never had the greatest oral hygiene. I've

1166
00:55:15,000 --> 00:55:18,000
Speaker 5: had cavity after cavity filled a few teeth, pulled, a

1167
00:55:18,080 --> 00:55:20,719
Speaker 5: bridge put in, and some chips from an accident when

1168
00:55:20,760 --> 00:55:23,800
Speaker 5: I was a kid repaired a few times. Well, this

1169
00:55:24,000 --> 00:55:26,480
Speaker 5: felt like a chance to fix everything at once. I

1170
00:55:26,600 --> 00:55:29,120
Speaker 5: talked to my wife about the bonus, and she was supportive.

1171
00:55:29,360 --> 00:55:31,600
Speaker 5: I first asked if there was anything we could use

1172
00:55:31,680 --> 00:55:34,640
Speaker 5: this for elsewhere. She told me that with my new salary,

1173
00:55:34,800 --> 00:55:37,719
Speaker 5: anything she wanted could wait. My wife knew how self

1174
00:55:37,760 --> 00:55:40,920
Speaker 5: conscious I was about my smile, and she was excited

1175
00:55:40,960 --> 00:55:43,279
Speaker 5: to let me get a brand new smile. So I did.

1176
00:55:43,560 --> 00:55:45,799
Speaker 5: Being a guy, I guess I didn't notice this all

1177
00:55:45,880 --> 00:55:48,800
Speaker 5: that much, but apparently women started giving me more and

1178
00:55:48,920 --> 00:55:52,320
Speaker 5: more compliments. He's like, I didn't notice all the compliments

1179
00:55:52,440 --> 00:55:53,600
Speaker 5: rolling in because I'm a guy.

1180
00:55:53,880 --> 00:55:56,320
Speaker 3: But yeah, my wife should.

1181
00:55:56,920 --> 00:55:58,280
Speaker 1: My wife certainly did.

1182
00:56:00,280 --> 00:56:03,160
Speaker 5: Around my style, as I tend to dress more professionally

1183
00:56:03,280 --> 00:56:06,160
Speaker 5: these days for my new role, of course, being thick.

1184
00:56:06,440 --> 00:56:09,840
Speaker 5: I didn't think they were flirting, just being nice. My wife,

1185
00:56:09,920 --> 00:56:12,719
Speaker 5: on the other hand, saw it very differently. When we

1186
00:56:12,760 --> 00:56:15,560
Speaker 5: would go out, waitresses were starting to chat with me more.

1187
00:56:15,960 --> 00:56:18,880
Speaker 5: Some girls apparently were giving me bedroom eyes.

1188
00:56:19,160 --> 00:56:20,080
Speaker 3: I hate that phrase.

1189
00:56:20,320 --> 00:56:24,800
Speaker 5: And again, my dumb self didn't notice that I'm already

1190
00:56:24,840 --> 00:56:27,480
Speaker 5: with my soulmate. Why would I care what other girls

1191
00:56:27,480 --> 00:56:29,920
Speaker 5: say to me or how they look at me. Everything

1192
00:56:30,000 --> 00:56:32,040
Speaker 5: I want is waiting for me when I get home

1193
00:56:32,120 --> 00:56:37,399
Speaker 5: from war. The person I want to spend my time

1194
00:56:37,480 --> 00:56:40,600
Speaker 5: with is already there. I don't want anyone else. I've

1195
00:56:40,680 --> 00:56:44,120
Speaker 5: been in love for fifteen years now. The trouble We

1196
00:56:44,239 --> 00:56:46,480
Speaker 5: went to Target so I could pick up my diabetes

1197
00:56:46,560 --> 00:56:49,680
Speaker 5: medication and so she could grab Starbucks. After I got

1198
00:56:49,760 --> 00:56:52,040
Speaker 5: my medicine, I walked over to where the keto and

1199
00:56:52,120 --> 00:56:54,480
Speaker 5: sugar free snacks are in the hell aisle, you know,

1200
00:56:55,040 --> 00:57:00,319
Speaker 5: the name brand specific peanut buttercups, the specific chips. Who

1201
00:57:00,440 --> 00:57:03,440
Speaker 5: was definitely younger than me, walked up and asked if

1202
00:57:03,480 --> 00:57:06,040
Speaker 5: the chocolate covered peanuts I picked up were any good?

1203
00:57:06,280 --> 00:57:09,480
Speaker 5: I started sharing my knowledge on these items. We made

1204
00:57:09,480 --> 00:57:11,600
Speaker 5: a few jokes about the taste of some of the stuff,

1205
00:57:11,960 --> 00:57:15,080
Speaker 5: laughed a little, and just had a fun conversation. Then

1206
00:57:15,160 --> 00:57:17,400
Speaker 5: I excused myself and told her I had to go.

1207
00:57:17,560 --> 00:57:18,560
Speaker 3: Find my better half.

1208
00:57:18,760 --> 00:57:22,400
Speaker 5: That was the first time I noticed she seemed disappointed

1209
00:57:22,440 --> 00:57:24,880
Speaker 5: that I was taken, but didn't say it out loud.

1210
00:57:25,120 --> 00:57:27,320
Speaker 5: It turns out my wife was hiding on the other

1211
00:57:27,440 --> 00:57:29,360
Speaker 5: side of the aisle the whole time.

1212
00:57:29,640 --> 00:57:32,120
Speaker 3: Who I found her immediately was.

1213
00:57:32,160 --> 00:57:34,520
Speaker 5: Happy to see her, gave her a little kiss, took

1214
00:57:34,520 --> 00:57:37,240
Speaker 5: her hand, and we went to check out. Later that night,

1215
00:57:37,440 --> 00:57:40,800
Speaker 5: my wife seemed unusually quiet. I figured maybe she was

1216
00:57:40,880 --> 00:57:41,840
Speaker 5: starting her period.

1217
00:57:42,080 --> 00:57:46,040
Speaker 3: I mean, hey, I he didn't say that rudely. He

1218
00:57:46,160 --> 00:57:46,800
Speaker 3: knows his wife.

1219
00:57:47,080 --> 00:57:51,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's not like all these women in the freaking ovarias.

1220
00:57:51,480 --> 00:57:53,640
Speaker 1: He's just like you know, maybe she was feeling a

1221
00:57:53,680 --> 00:57:54,640
Speaker 1: little extra sensitive.

1222
00:57:54,840 --> 00:57:57,040
Speaker 5: My wife then told me she was going to go

1223
00:57:57,240 --> 00:57:59,680
Speaker 5: back to bed and lay down a bit. Something fell off.

1224
00:58:00,200 --> 00:58:02,080
Speaker 5: After ten minutes, I walked back to see if she

1225
00:58:02,200 --> 00:58:05,320
Speaker 5: was okay. I found her bawling into a pillow.

1226
00:58:07,040 --> 00:58:09,040
Speaker 3: No, put it on you show you it's you know what?

1227
00:58:09,120 --> 00:58:10,680
Speaker 1: I can't even make fun of you. My girl says

1228
00:58:10,720 --> 00:58:13,840
Speaker 1: it like that too. The cool kids say it pello pello,

1229
00:58:14,200 --> 00:58:15,240
Speaker 1: And I was like, where is she?

1230
00:58:15,440 --> 00:58:17,280
Speaker 3: What is she from?

1231
00:58:17,480 --> 00:58:18,520
Speaker 1: Lay?

1232
00:58:18,800 --> 00:58:21,720
Speaker 5: Immediately I moved over to her side and started rubbing

1233
00:58:21,800 --> 00:58:24,240
Speaker 5: her back. Of course, I asked her what was wrong,

1234
00:58:24,360 --> 00:58:26,800
Speaker 5: and she got herself together enough to look up at

1235
00:58:26,840 --> 00:58:30,400
Speaker 5: me with tear filled eyes and with the quietest, meekest

1236
00:58:30,520 --> 00:58:31,640
Speaker 5: voice I'd ever heard.

1237
00:58:31,760 --> 00:58:33,720
Speaker 3: She said, please don't leave me.

1238
00:58:34,440 --> 00:58:38,760
Speaker 6: Oh, and then you pull the masterchief cote and say,

1239
00:58:39,040 --> 00:58:41,360
Speaker 6: you know me when I make a promise, and she says,

1240
00:58:41,680 --> 00:58:44,960
Speaker 6: you keep it, and that's a quarte if you do that,

1241
00:58:45,640 --> 00:58:48,320
Speaker 6: she's your quartana cheesy.

1242
00:58:48,040 --> 00:58:52,680
Speaker 3: And I didn't know it. Crazyl. I was floored.

1243
00:58:53,160 --> 00:58:56,479
Speaker 5: My heart chattered into a thousand pieces. For the life

1244
00:58:56,520 --> 00:58:58,760
Speaker 5: of me, I couldn't figure out what was going on.

1245
00:58:59,560 --> 00:59:02,040
Speaker 5: What did I do to make her think that I

1246
00:59:02,120 --> 00:59:04,560
Speaker 5: don't stay out late. She knows where I am one

1247
00:59:04,640 --> 00:59:07,640
Speaker 5: hundred percent of the time, and we willingly hand each

1248
00:59:07,640 --> 00:59:10,280
Speaker 5: other our phones when the other is missing theirs. To

1249
00:59:10,400 --> 00:59:13,360
Speaker 5: say I was caught off guard was an understatement. This

1250
00:59:13,760 --> 00:59:15,520
Speaker 5: is when she filled me in on the fact that

1251
00:59:15,680 --> 00:59:18,400
Speaker 5: women in general have been more and more interested in

1252
00:59:18,480 --> 00:59:21,080
Speaker 5: me lately, and that she's seen how some.

1253
00:59:21,200 --> 00:59:23,840
Speaker 3: Of them look at me like I'm a slab of meat.

1254
00:59:24,200 --> 00:59:26,960
Speaker 5: My mind was blown. I didn't push back, but I

1255
00:59:27,120 --> 00:59:29,480
Speaker 5: asked what she meant. Little by little, she started to

1256
00:59:29,520 --> 00:59:32,520
Speaker 5: get herself together and explained all the attention I've been getting,

1257
00:59:32,720 --> 00:59:36,880
Speaker 5: the looks, the chats, the attention, the approaches, and tonight

1258
00:59:37,040 --> 00:59:41,520
Speaker 5: when that busty blonde Barbie was chatting me up, she

1259
00:59:41,680 --> 00:59:44,919
Speaker 5: realized that if I wanted to upgrade, I really could

1260
00:59:45,360 --> 00:59:48,120
Speaker 5: upgrade to what how do you go up?

1261
00:59:48,440 --> 00:59:48,640
Speaker 1: From?

1262
00:59:48,880 --> 00:59:49,280
Speaker 3: Soul me?

1263
00:59:50,760 --> 00:59:53,240
Speaker 5: I immediately told her that I never had any intent

1264
00:59:53,360 --> 00:59:56,560
Speaker 5: of leaving her or that I wanted to, and if

1265
00:59:56,640 --> 00:59:58,520
Speaker 5: I was flirting, I didn't mean to.

1266
00:59:58,880 --> 01:00:02,040
Speaker 3: She reassured me that I wasn't flirting. Bless her heart.

1267
01:00:02,240 --> 01:00:04,920
Speaker 5: My wife explained that she was listening to her husband

1268
01:00:05,000 --> 01:00:08,360
Speaker 5: share his life experience and his passions, not a cheating

1269
01:00:08,400 --> 01:00:11,360
Speaker 5: knucklehead trying to get some. We both kind of laughed.

1270
01:00:11,560 --> 01:00:15,120
Speaker 5: We talked for about an hour after that. Eventually we cuddled,

1271
01:00:15,200 --> 01:00:18,080
Speaker 5: watched a movie, and fell asleep in each other's arms.

1272
01:00:18,320 --> 01:00:21,040
Speaker 5: The last few days have been good, like really good.

1273
01:00:21,280 --> 01:00:23,480
Speaker 5: But is there anything I can do to make sure

1274
01:00:23,560 --> 01:00:25,800
Speaker 5: the love of my life. Never feels like I'm going

1275
01:00:25,880 --> 01:00:29,000
Speaker 5: to leave her. I can't stress enough that this woman

1276
01:00:29,280 --> 01:00:33,320
Speaker 5: enhances me. She emboldens my passions. She gives me all

1277
01:00:33,400 --> 01:00:34,400
Speaker 5: that I need and want.

1278
01:00:34,640 --> 01:00:36,320
Speaker 3: I tell her I love her every morning.

1279
01:00:36,760 --> 01:00:40,600
Speaker 5: I call her beautiful as a greeting, physical touch, kisses, hugs.

1280
01:00:40,800 --> 01:00:41,720
Speaker 3: I'm not distant.

1281
01:00:42,000 --> 01:00:44,120
Speaker 5: I'm active, and I want to be with her till

1282
01:00:44,160 --> 01:00:47,120
Speaker 5: I'm old and gray and burying her so that she

1283
01:00:47,240 --> 01:00:49,320
Speaker 5: doesn't have to endure the pain of losing me.

1284
01:00:49,800 --> 01:00:52,560
Speaker 3: Any advice is welcome, and we have an update.

1285
01:00:53,040 --> 01:00:57,360
Speaker 5: Oh well, See, personally, I feel like this is something

1286
01:00:57,440 --> 01:01:01,480
Speaker 5: that's just like potentially an adjustment time. And if he

1287
01:01:01,640 --> 01:01:04,080
Speaker 5: keeps being so reassuring and so nice and maybe just

1288
01:01:04,120 --> 01:01:06,200
Speaker 5: doing like even a little bit extra of it for

1289
01:01:06,280 --> 01:01:09,120
Speaker 5: a little bit, yeah, Like eventually she'll settle into being

1290
01:01:09,200 --> 01:01:11,520
Speaker 5: like this is how it is, like he obviously still

1291
01:01:11,600 --> 01:01:14,360
Speaker 5: loves me kind of yeah, Like, yeah, there's no reason

1292
01:01:14,480 --> 01:01:16,520
Speaker 5: that she should think that she's just getting a little

1293
01:01:16,560 --> 01:01:18,320
Speaker 5: bit like, oh my god, this is something so new

1294
01:01:18,360 --> 01:01:19,080
Speaker 5: that I haven't dealt with.

1295
01:01:19,080 --> 01:01:19,840
Speaker 3: And it worries me.

1296
01:01:20,160 --> 01:01:21,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I think you can just like, you know,

1297
01:01:22,240 --> 01:01:23,800
Speaker 1: show her kind of what you wrote in this post

1298
01:01:24,320 --> 01:01:26,280
Speaker 1: even or like show her, uh he needs a what

1299
01:01:26,880 --> 01:01:30,080
Speaker 1: you know, right, just write a little special something write

1300
01:01:30,200 --> 01:01:31,960
Speaker 1: or a little cute thing and just keep showing up

1301
01:01:32,000 --> 01:01:33,000
Speaker 1: the same way you're showing up.

1302
01:01:33,160 --> 01:01:35,880
Speaker 5: You know. So I've been thinking about this situation, and

1303
01:01:36,000 --> 01:01:39,720
Speaker 5: I appreciate everyone's perspective. My wife got home about fifteen

1304
01:01:39,760 --> 01:01:42,000
Speaker 5: minutes ago, and I showed her what I'd written. Like

1305
01:01:42,160 --> 01:01:46,080
Speaker 5: some people suggested they were right, she really appreciated it.

1306
01:01:46,320 --> 01:01:48,880
Speaker 5: As to getting married, she still thinks it's a goofy

1307
01:01:48,960 --> 01:01:51,840
Speaker 5: tradition made up by religious people and currently just a

1308
01:01:51,960 --> 01:01:54,680
Speaker 5: good way for people to waste a pile of cash. Also,

1309
01:01:54,800 --> 01:01:57,360
Speaker 5: like you could just give her a ring and just

1310
01:01:57,440 --> 01:01:59,959
Speaker 5: be like, we don't actually have to get like officially married,

1311
01:02:00,200 --> 01:02:03,640
Speaker 5: but like I consider us married now, yes, or like

1312
01:02:03,640 --> 01:02:04,160
Speaker 5: a legit.

1313
01:02:04,120 --> 01:02:06,800
Speaker 6: Thing, have a friend, a couple of friends, some witnesses.

1314
01:02:07,040 --> 01:02:08,600
Speaker 5: I think it would still cost a little bit of

1315
01:02:08,680 --> 01:02:12,120
Speaker 5: that might be when it so like she doesn't need it,

1316
01:02:12,240 --> 01:02:15,360
Speaker 5: But if she wants that, like slight further promise or something,

1317
01:02:15,640 --> 01:02:16,680
Speaker 5: they can pretend to do it.

1318
01:02:17,560 --> 01:02:19,640
Speaker 1: You know, what you can do is cover your hand

1319
01:02:19,720 --> 01:02:22,800
Speaker 1: in super glue and then touch her with it, and

1320
01:02:23,000 --> 01:02:24,480
Speaker 1: you go, I'm never leaving.

1321
01:02:24,680 --> 01:02:28,280
Speaker 5: However, someone pointed out all the legal benefits to being married,

1322
01:02:28,400 --> 01:02:30,080
Speaker 5: and I honestly can't disagree with that.

1323
01:02:30,400 --> 01:02:32,120
Speaker 3: So we're getting married, yo.

1324
01:02:32,840 --> 01:02:37,080
Speaker 5: Okay, but she firmly said, no dresses, no DJ, no food,

1325
01:02:37,360 --> 01:02:40,520
Speaker 5: no archway, just a few family members for a witness

1326
01:02:40,600 --> 01:02:43,520
Speaker 5: and whoever needs to officiate. I couldn't help but laugh,

1327
01:02:43,800 --> 01:02:46,280
Speaker 5: but I guess we're going on a honeymoon in September,

1328
01:02:46,360 --> 01:02:49,160
Speaker 5: around her birthday. She wanted me to pass her thanks

1329
01:02:49,240 --> 01:02:51,800
Speaker 5: along to those who offered their support and advice.

1330
01:02:52,080 --> 01:02:54,360
Speaker 3: And that is the end of that story.