1 00:00:00,280 --> 00:00:05,960 Speaker 1: Hey, everybody, Hey there, friend, how's everybody doing hopefully great? Yeah, yeah, 2 00:00:06,160 --> 00:00:08,479 Speaker 1: I think everybody's gotta be doing fine. He's got to 3 00:00:08,520 --> 00:00:13,239 Speaker 1: be doing fine. Nothing happening, everything's good, everything's chill out 4 00:00:13,280 --> 00:00:15,960 Speaker 1: there in the world. We're good. We're finally we're back 5 00:00:16,079 --> 00:00:19,520 Speaker 1: in our home, uh, back in our recording little booth 6 00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:21,520 Speaker 1: that we made, so you can tell. It sounds so 7 00:00:21,600 --> 00:00:25,959 Speaker 1: much better our last episode, which was a mishmash of 8 00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:30,520 Speaker 1: like hotel room problems, zoom problems, whatever, whatever you could, 9 00:00:30,640 --> 00:00:34,280 Speaker 1: you could understand what we're saying. I hope that matters most, 10 00:00:34,520 --> 00:00:37,879 Speaker 1: and that is sort of the point of a podcast. 11 00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:43,159 Speaker 1: Quality is secondary, tertiary even even Yeah, we had a 12 00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:46,960 Speaker 1: great time in Palm Springs watching our friends get married. Yes, 13 00:00:47,200 --> 00:00:50,360 Speaker 1: beautiful wedding out in the open air of the desert. 14 00:00:50,840 --> 00:00:54,600 Speaker 1: Only a brief minor sandstorm right before the ceremony started. 15 00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:58,080 Speaker 1: It was really just a lot of wind that it 16 00:00:58,200 --> 00:01:01,720 Speaker 1: inherently brings sand with it when you're in the desert. Um, 17 00:01:01,760 --> 00:01:03,840 Speaker 1: so we were all like rubbing our eyes like, no, 18 00:01:03,920 --> 00:01:07,839 Speaker 1: I'm crying, it's not the sand. What was cool though, 19 00:01:07,959 --> 00:01:10,000 Speaker 1: was that our friend, of course, had a very long, 20 00:01:10,040 --> 00:01:12,679 Speaker 1: beautiful veil and so the wind kind of did like 21 00:01:12,680 --> 00:01:17,160 Speaker 1: a Beyonce effect for her perfect. So I'm glad it 22 00:01:17,200 --> 00:01:19,200 Speaker 1: didn't mess up and like go the other way, you 23 00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:20,680 Speaker 1: know what I mean. It was just like in the 24 00:01:20,680 --> 00:01:24,000 Speaker 1: wind like a damn painting. It really was, really was 25 00:01:24,040 --> 00:01:27,039 Speaker 1: such a nice time. Whether it was perfect beautiful out 26 00:01:27,080 --> 00:01:31,680 Speaker 1: there in Palm Springs, who knew? Yeah right, But yeah, 27 00:01:31,680 --> 00:01:33,800 Speaker 1: I guess we've we have been a little bit quiet 28 00:01:33,959 --> 00:01:38,440 Speaker 1: on the podcast. Um, partly because of our insane driving 29 00:01:38,520 --> 00:01:42,959 Speaker 1: and for hours and then crashing at a at a 30 00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:45,679 Speaker 1: seedy hotel. I guess they're not seedy. That's not fair, 31 00:01:47,680 --> 00:01:50,240 Speaker 1: but you know what I mean, roadside motels and stuff, 32 00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:53,560 Speaker 1: and um, just partly that and partly that, you know, 33 00:01:53,640 --> 00:01:56,240 Speaker 1: we had a bit of a family tragedy in my 34 00:01:56,400 --> 00:02:00,480 Speaker 1: family while we were out there. Um, and it was 35 00:02:01,280 --> 00:02:05,640 Speaker 1: very crazy. Yeah, I wish I had better words to 36 00:02:05,800 --> 00:02:10,639 Speaker 1: explain how weird it is to be first of all, 37 00:02:10,680 --> 00:02:13,680 Speaker 1: three thousand miles away from your home that and you 38 00:02:13,760 --> 00:02:15,720 Speaker 1: drove three days, you know, so you're not close. You 39 00:02:15,760 --> 00:02:18,560 Speaker 1: can't just go right back or anything. And to be 40 00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:21,760 Speaker 1: so happy about our friends and to be at this 41 00:02:21,840 --> 00:02:25,760 Speaker 1: amazing destination party with a bunch of our other friends 42 00:02:25,840 --> 00:02:29,160 Speaker 1: who had you know, we hadn't seen and over two years, 43 00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:31,760 Speaker 1: you know, maybe even before the pandemic because they moved 44 00:02:31,840 --> 00:02:34,280 Speaker 1: and just all scattered about. So it was just such 45 00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:38,760 Speaker 1: a wonderful high energy, like giddy energy around this wedding. 46 00:02:39,480 --> 00:02:42,920 Speaker 1: And then, um, also a death in my family that 47 00:02:43,040 --> 00:02:46,600 Speaker 1: was very sad and uh so it's sort of and 48 00:02:46,639 --> 00:02:48,760 Speaker 1: then a couple of days later, my cousin had her 49 00:02:48,800 --> 00:02:50,640 Speaker 1: first baby, and it was just like, oh my god, 50 00:02:50,919 --> 00:02:53,800 Speaker 1: it's like union's death, birth, like everything about life and 51 00:02:53,880 --> 00:02:56,280 Speaker 1: just compressed in a couple of days. It was just 52 00:02:56,360 --> 00:02:59,280 Speaker 1: a very crazy roller coaster and I don't like roller 53 00:02:59,320 --> 00:03:04,000 Speaker 1: coasters person, so a little bit difficult to get our 54 00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:07,680 Speaker 1: head in the game, I guess. Um. And now, of 55 00:03:07,680 --> 00:03:09,600 Speaker 1: course we just got home and we have to turn 56 00:03:09,639 --> 00:03:14,000 Speaker 1: back around and go to Michigan for the funeral. So 57 00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:17,119 Speaker 1: uh yeah, it's just been uh, it's just been tough 58 00:03:17,160 --> 00:03:21,840 Speaker 1: to keep up with everything. It's it's been a whirlwind. 59 00:03:21,960 --> 00:03:25,840 Speaker 1: Uh what ten days, not even like, yeah, that's a 60 00:03:25,880 --> 00:03:30,880 Speaker 1: real sandstorm of a week, and uh, we're getting through it, um, 61 00:03:30,919 --> 00:03:34,440 Speaker 1: but it has shifted what you know, we're capable of doing, 62 00:03:34,920 --> 00:03:37,960 Speaker 1: I think in that time and so so we decided 63 00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:41,640 Speaker 1: to come back today with with something a little different. Yeah, 64 00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:43,520 Speaker 1: that's been I know, we've kind of been doing things 65 00:03:43,520 --> 00:03:45,320 Speaker 1: that are a little different for the last couple of years. 66 00:03:45,920 --> 00:03:47,840 Speaker 1: I can't wait to get back to our like, you know, 67 00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:51,920 Speaker 1: dense biographical episodes. So much fun. There have been so 68 00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:54,560 Speaker 1: many good suggestions from y'all, by the way, Like I 69 00:03:54,600 --> 00:03:56,800 Speaker 1: cannot tell you the amount of stories that we have 70 00:03:57,040 --> 00:04:00,880 Speaker 1: just from you that I'm like dying to get into. Like, 71 00:04:01,600 --> 00:04:03,920 Speaker 1: y'all have some really good stuff. So thank you for 72 00:04:03,960 --> 00:04:07,280 Speaker 1: all those suggestions. I swear we are just so excited 73 00:04:07,320 --> 00:04:09,800 Speaker 1: to get into them. That is very true. And uh 74 00:04:09,800 --> 00:04:11,880 Speaker 1: and as soon as we get back from Michigan next week, 75 00:04:11,920 --> 00:04:14,480 Speaker 1: we'll be jumping into some of those. Yeah, we'll get 76 00:04:14,520 --> 00:04:18,360 Speaker 1: back to those wonderful profiles and character stories and everything 77 00:04:18,440 --> 00:04:21,080 Speaker 1: like that. But since we didn't have time for a 78 00:04:21,120 --> 00:04:24,560 Speaker 1: good research project this week, we thought we'd just have 79 00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:26,960 Speaker 1: a little fun with you all today. Um, while we 80 00:04:26,960 --> 00:04:30,640 Speaker 1: were researching for our two parter about sex toys with 81 00:04:30,800 --> 00:04:35,320 Speaker 1: ridiculous history, which hopefully all heard pretty good time, we 82 00:04:35,520 --> 00:04:39,719 Speaker 1: found a few body poems back in the day people 83 00:04:39,760 --> 00:04:43,680 Speaker 1: talking about naughty stuff, and one of them we actually 84 00:04:43,720 --> 00:04:46,000 Speaker 1: left out because it was just too long to do 85 00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:48,240 Speaker 1: in a poetry corner for les. So we thought it 86 00:04:48,320 --> 00:04:50,080 Speaker 1: might be fun to read it to you today and 87 00:04:50,160 --> 00:04:54,720 Speaker 1: have a nice performative reading of a poem called Barranger 88 00:04:55,120 --> 00:04:59,279 Speaker 1: of the long Asshole. And it was written in the 89 00:04:59,320 --> 00:05:02,919 Speaker 1: thirte Tree. And it's a type of poem called a fablio. 90 00:05:03,080 --> 00:05:06,599 Speaker 1: And needless to say, not that everyone gathers around with 91 00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:11,120 Speaker 1: their toddlers to listen to this show, but it is 92 00:05:11,160 --> 00:05:15,279 Speaker 1: a It is definitely not safe for your century work. 93 00:05:15,680 --> 00:05:18,920 Speaker 1: You know, it's got some raunchy language, but it's like 94 00:05:19,760 --> 00:05:23,640 Speaker 1: seven year old language, so it's kind of, uh, it's 95 00:05:23,640 --> 00:05:27,719 Speaker 1: not that bad, but it's hilarious, so funny. Um The 96 00:05:27,800 --> 00:05:32,520 Speaker 1: Riverside Chaucer, which is a translation and analysis of Chaucer's writings, 97 00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:36,359 Speaker 1: very academic right. One of the reviews on Amazon says 98 00:05:36,440 --> 00:05:40,600 Speaker 1: that it weighs over six pounds. I was like, whoa weight? 99 00:05:41,680 --> 00:05:45,200 Speaker 1: So they say that a fablio is quote a brief 100 00:05:45,240 --> 00:05:51,280 Speaker 1: comic tale in verse, usually scurrulous, and often scatological or obscene. 101 00:05:51,960 --> 00:05:55,479 Speaker 1: The style is simple, vigorous, and straightforward. The time is 102 00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:59,080 Speaker 1: in the present, and the settings real familiar places. The 103 00:05:59,240 --> 00:06:05,159 Speaker 1: characters are ornary sorts, tradesmen, peasants, priests, students, restless wives, 104 00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:09,719 Speaker 1: and the plots are realistically motivated tricks and ruses. The 105 00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:14,039 Speaker 1: fablio thus presents a lively image of everyday life among 106 00:06:14,080 --> 00:06:17,359 Speaker 1: the middle and lower class. And then Kimberly Arnold on 107 00:06:17,360 --> 00:06:20,839 Speaker 1: the New Zealand Digital Library website further clarifies that often 108 00:06:20,839 --> 00:06:25,880 Speaker 1: in these tales, women were described as either quote demanding, verbose, 109 00:06:26,240 --> 00:06:31,280 Speaker 1: irrational and not very smart, or as quote a welcoming 110 00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:39,000 Speaker 1: sexual orifice without thought or speech. Yeah, can imagine women 111 00:06:39,040 --> 00:06:42,159 Speaker 1: being presented like that in media? That would never happen 112 00:06:42,240 --> 00:06:46,919 Speaker 1: today history, Right, so weird. But fortunately the one that 113 00:06:46,960 --> 00:06:51,880 Speaker 1: we're reading today is the exact opposite of those. So 114 00:06:51,920 --> 00:06:54,719 Speaker 1: all that being said, I say that we we jump 115 00:06:54,800 --> 00:06:58,280 Speaker 1: right into this poem because it is insane and I'm 116 00:06:58,360 --> 00:07:00,560 Speaker 1: very excited for all to hear it. Yeah, let's go, Hey, 117 00:07:00,600 --> 00:07:04,360 Speaker 1: their French, come listen. Well, Eli and Diana got some 118 00:07:04,400 --> 00:07:08,360 Speaker 1: stories to tell. There's no matchmaking, no romantic tips. It's 119 00:07:08,400 --> 00:07:12,000 Speaker 1: just about ridiculous relationships. A lover, it might be any 120 00:07:12,040 --> 00:07:15,880 Speaker 1: type of person at all, and abstract concept a concrete wall. 121 00:07:16,200 --> 00:07:20,520 Speaker 1: But if there's a story with a second Clans ridiculous 122 00:07:20,680 --> 00:07:25,080 Speaker 1: roleance a production of I Heart Radio. So Jeffrey Chaucer 123 00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:29,080 Speaker 1: actually reworked many of the most well known surviving fabilio 124 00:07:29,280 --> 00:07:33,640 Speaker 1: in Middle English into the Canterbury Tales, classic classic, and 125 00:07:33,800 --> 00:07:39,520 Speaker 1: so did Giovanni Boccaccio in the Decameron, another classic, another classic. Literally, 126 00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:43,560 Speaker 1: this poem is by a poet named Gallon, about whom 127 00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:46,320 Speaker 1: like nothing is known except that he wrote a few 128 00:07:46,440 --> 00:07:50,720 Speaker 1: body and naughty poem stories, which I kind of love 129 00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:52,840 Speaker 1: that as a legacy. I don't know who you were, 130 00:07:52,920 --> 00:07:55,320 Speaker 1: where you lived, if you were married or not, whatever 131 00:07:55,360 --> 00:07:59,960 Speaker 1: else he did for life. Anyway, you wrote some naughty stuff. 132 00:08:00,560 --> 00:08:02,960 Speaker 1: He still got that. That's what survives. And now at 133 00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:05,480 Speaker 1: least he made some people laugh in his time. Absolutely, 134 00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:08,920 Speaker 1: and for hundreds of years later exactly we're still one 135 00:08:08,920 --> 00:08:13,320 Speaker 1: a legacy. So please enjoy this performance of Barrangiers of 136 00:08:13,400 --> 00:08:20,360 Speaker 1: the long Asshole by Geron. For two years, I've been 137 00:08:20,440 --> 00:08:24,880 Speaker 1: telling so many fine tales and fabilioux which I've discovered 138 00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:28,480 Speaker 1: or made up that by Saint John, It's time to 139 00:08:28,560 --> 00:08:34,000 Speaker 1: stop and tell no more except this last called Barongier 140 00:08:34,480 --> 00:08:38,400 Speaker 1: of the long Ass a story which you haven't heard, 141 00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:41,320 Speaker 1: but if you'd like, you'll hear it word for word, 142 00:08:41,440 --> 00:08:45,440 Speaker 1: this minute, no delay. Hear it, good people. Gron will 143 00:08:45,480 --> 00:08:50,040 Speaker 1: say what happened once in Lombardy, where men aren't known 144 00:08:50,160 --> 00:08:53,560 Speaker 1: for bravery, to a knight errant who'd been wed to 145 00:08:53,640 --> 00:08:57,800 Speaker 1: a fine lady, purely bred, and daughter to a landed earl. 146 00:08:58,360 --> 00:09:01,240 Speaker 1: The young knight's father was a churl who had gotten 147 00:09:01,320 --> 00:09:05,280 Speaker 1: rich by usury. His cellars were full, his granary held 148 00:09:05,320 --> 00:09:09,520 Speaker 1: all it could. He had cows and goats, dollars, danyers, 149 00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:13,600 Speaker 1: mark sus and groats, and the earl was deeply in 150 00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:18,160 Speaker 1: his debt, with nothing left to pay except to give 151 00:09:18,240 --> 00:09:23,160 Speaker 1: the rich man's son his daughter. That's how good blood 152 00:09:23,280 --> 00:09:27,400 Speaker 1: thins down to water, how counts and earls and all 153 00:09:27,520 --> 00:09:34,839 Speaker 1: their race decline and finish in disgrace. Damn, that's very rude. 154 00:09:35,040 --> 00:09:41,440 Speaker 1: Garrel had a real opinion about like gentry marrying down. 155 00:09:42,559 --> 00:09:45,719 Speaker 1: If you're if you're of noble blood, this is this 156 00:09:45,760 --> 00:09:49,080 Speaker 1: is how you ruin it by marrying commoners. Be more 157 00:09:49,120 --> 00:09:52,439 Speaker 1: like kings and queens who marry their own brothers and cousins. 158 00:09:53,040 --> 00:09:56,120 Speaker 1: That's how you keep blood nice and thick. Yeah, yeah, 159 00:09:56,160 --> 00:10:00,320 Speaker 1: you certainly do so. Thickow pump through your You have 160 00:10:00,440 --> 00:10:03,560 Speaker 1: the thickest blood I've ever seen, Thank you. My parents 161 00:10:03,559 --> 00:10:08,840 Speaker 1: were siblings. So okay, So there's this normal dude. Yeah, 162 00:10:08,880 --> 00:10:11,319 Speaker 1: I think there's like a normal young man who who's 163 00:10:11,480 --> 00:10:17,040 Speaker 1: father is rich but not not noble. He's just a 164 00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:20,960 Speaker 1: rich guy. Yeah, he got rich by usury. Yeah, the 165 00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:24,600 Speaker 1: worst way to get rich, the only way to get 166 00:10:25,720 --> 00:10:29,200 Speaker 1: And he's saying that like this earl was deeply in 167 00:10:29,240 --> 00:10:32,520 Speaker 1: the debt of this rich not noble man. I guess 168 00:10:32,520 --> 00:10:35,080 Speaker 1: the merchant probably or something. Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah, the 169 00:10:35,080 --> 00:10:37,840 Speaker 1: agriculture at some point. And so he said, oh, I 170 00:10:37,880 --> 00:10:40,680 Speaker 1: can't pay you back, how about you just marry my daughter. 171 00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:44,160 Speaker 1: Classic way to solve a dispute in history, I suppose. 172 00:10:45,600 --> 00:10:48,440 Speaker 1: And he's like, here you go. I've got cows and 173 00:10:48,480 --> 00:10:50,320 Speaker 1: goats and grain and money and the guys like I 174 00:10:50,360 --> 00:10:53,960 Speaker 1: got all that. Yeah, I got some daughters, perfect. My 175 00:10:54,040 --> 00:10:56,400 Speaker 1: son really needs one of those needs a wife. So 176 00:10:56,720 --> 00:10:58,640 Speaker 1: let's take one of them and marry him to my son. 177 00:10:59,120 --> 00:11:02,480 Speaker 1: Now we're all together. He's this rich kid who didn't 178 00:11:02,520 --> 00:11:06,280 Speaker 1: come by it, honestly, trust fund baby, trust fund baby, 179 00:11:06,360 --> 00:11:11,680 Speaker 1: with marrying an earl's daughter who probably was expecting better 180 00:11:11,720 --> 00:11:17,200 Speaker 1: for herself. Poor girl, She was like, what's this? All right? 181 00:11:17,320 --> 00:11:20,439 Speaker 1: It continues if people wed to get out of debt, 182 00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:24,520 Speaker 1: disgrace is what they ought to get. Damn, the harm 183 00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:28,600 Speaker 1: they do cannot be told from those who covet silver 184 00:11:28,720 --> 00:11:32,800 Speaker 1: and gold more than nobility. A race of foolish, good 185 00:11:32,800 --> 00:11:38,319 Speaker 1: for nothing face and chicken hearted knights descends. Thus chivalry 186 00:11:38,440 --> 00:11:43,560 Speaker 1: declines and ends. So again he's really hammering at home. 187 00:11:44,480 --> 00:11:46,319 Speaker 1: How if you're not noble, you must be a big 188 00:11:46,320 --> 00:11:49,839 Speaker 1: piece of ship. But here's the gist of what I heard. 189 00:11:50,080 --> 00:11:54,080 Speaker 1: From start to finish, as it occurred, not wasting any time, 190 00:11:54,520 --> 00:11:57,600 Speaker 1: the earl put wedding garments on the girl and married 191 00:11:57,640 --> 00:12:00,720 Speaker 1: her to the young peasant, then dubbed him night for 192 00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:04,000 Speaker 1: a wedding present. I guess the wife wasn't enough of 193 00:12:04,040 --> 00:12:06,760 Speaker 1: a wedding present. It's like, also, i'll make you a sir. 194 00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:10,720 Speaker 1: The young man went home with the maid for more 195 00:12:10,760 --> 00:12:16,840 Speaker 1: than ten years. There they stayed this new night valued relaxation, 196 00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:22,080 Speaker 1: not valiant deeds or reputation. The code of chivalry could go. Hang. 197 00:12:23,559 --> 00:12:28,480 Speaker 1: He loved pie, custard and merangue. It's my kind of guy, 198 00:12:28,720 --> 00:12:31,760 Speaker 1: And all right, I get this guy, but the common 199 00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:37,880 Speaker 1: people he despised. Never mind boo. Now when the lady 200 00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:43,000 Speaker 1: realized how utterly her husband lacked virtue, how he was 201 00:12:43,080 --> 00:12:47,080 Speaker 1: in fact useless for tournaments or war and liked to 202 00:12:47,160 --> 00:12:50,040 Speaker 1: fill a straw bed more than wheeled a lance or 203 00:12:50,080 --> 00:12:53,920 Speaker 1: grasp a shield, from which it clearly was revealed to 204 00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:56,880 Speaker 1: her that though the man was quite a talker, he 205 00:12:57,080 --> 00:13:00,400 Speaker 1: was not a night worth talking of, but born and 206 00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:04,240 Speaker 1: raised a commoner. That's when she praised the line of 207 00:13:04,360 --> 00:13:09,680 Speaker 1: knights from whence she's from woud valiant knights who never 208 00:13:09,840 --> 00:13:13,480 Speaker 1: hung around the house from dawn to dark. She's like, 209 00:13:13,480 --> 00:13:15,280 Speaker 1: you know, a bunch of men in my family were knights, 210 00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:17,160 Speaker 1: and let me tell you about all the cool ship 211 00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:19,719 Speaker 1: that is. They were cool. You lay it, You lay 212 00:13:19,760 --> 00:13:23,080 Speaker 1: around this bed all day long. You never pick up 213 00:13:23,080 --> 00:13:26,720 Speaker 1: a shield or a lance. Trying to give my honey 214 00:13:26,720 --> 00:13:30,959 Speaker 1: do list. Well, you know, it's like, I don't think 215 00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:33,720 Speaker 1: you have to go prove your manhood in a fight 216 00:13:33,760 --> 00:13:36,439 Speaker 1: all the time or anything, but it does get frustrating 217 00:13:36,480 --> 00:13:38,880 Speaker 1: when somebody just lays around the house and doesn't do anything, 218 00:13:38,880 --> 00:13:44,679 Speaker 1: eating meringue from dawn to dark. The husband knew that 219 00:13:44,760 --> 00:13:49,840 Speaker 1: these remarks were aimed at him to put him down, lady, 220 00:13:50,160 --> 00:13:54,480 Speaker 1: he said, I have renowned I have more prowess than 221 00:13:54,520 --> 00:13:58,600 Speaker 1: a dozen of your grandfather's. There's not a cousin or 222 00:13:58,840 --> 00:14:02,839 Speaker 1: night of any clan or class whose valor I do 223 00:14:02,920 --> 00:14:07,080 Speaker 1: not surpass, and I'm not lazy. Take it from me. 224 00:14:07,559 --> 00:14:11,719 Speaker 1: Tomorrow morning. You will see if I can find my 225 00:14:11,840 --> 00:14:16,120 Speaker 1: foes tomorrow who envy me and want to borrow trouble 226 00:14:16,200 --> 00:14:20,760 Speaker 1: from me, I'll prove myself. Not one will get off 227 00:14:20,840 --> 00:14:25,240 Speaker 1: with his health. Those enemies whose scorn and scoff will 228 00:14:25,280 --> 00:14:30,160 Speaker 1: not scoff long with their heads off at dusk tomorrow. 229 00:14:30,560 --> 00:14:35,160 Speaker 1: They'll be dead for the time being. That's all he said. 230 00:14:35,720 --> 00:14:39,120 Speaker 1: The night arose at dawn next day and rang a 231 00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:43,000 Speaker 1: bell for his valet, who brought his buckler, sword and 232 00:14:43,120 --> 00:14:49,760 Speaker 1: lance and armed his lord with elegance. This guy, this 233 00:14:49,880 --> 00:14:53,720 Speaker 1: guy's like I'll kill them all, show you only if 234 00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:58,040 Speaker 1: I can find them. They're not like here. He's like 235 00:14:58,080 --> 00:15:00,240 Speaker 1: anybody who's got something bad to say about he is 236 00:15:00,280 --> 00:15:02,800 Speaker 1: going to hear about it. Like no one has ever 237 00:15:02,840 --> 00:15:04,640 Speaker 1: heard of you. You've been sitting around the house eat 238 00:15:04,720 --> 00:15:06,880 Speaker 1: pie all day. Now your wife is the only one 239 00:15:06,960 --> 00:15:12,680 Speaker 1: roasted you did. The arms and armor were all splendid, 240 00:15:12,880 --> 00:15:17,440 Speaker 1: not being dirtied, scratched or DENTI straight, pristine out of 241 00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:20,320 Speaker 1: the box. I never did ship with him. When he 242 00:15:20,400 --> 00:15:23,600 Speaker 1: was geared and rigged for battle, and sitting proudly in 243 00:15:23,640 --> 00:15:27,280 Speaker 1: the saddle, he wondered what he should do next to 244 00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:30,080 Speaker 1: give his wife a good pretext for thinking him a 245 00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:34,000 Speaker 1: noble knight. He saw a forest to his right, a 246 00:15:34,120 --> 00:15:37,640 Speaker 1: quarter mile from his front door. Without delay, he headed 247 00:15:37,680 --> 00:15:40,720 Speaker 1: for the forest at a gallop. There they had to 248 00:15:40,760 --> 00:15:46,360 Speaker 1: gasp a bit for air because all those meringues he rode, 249 00:15:46,440 --> 00:15:51,440 Speaker 1: not exactly doing cardio, and all this time his armor 250 00:15:51,520 --> 00:15:56,840 Speaker 1: is heavy. Who knew? He rode on further through the 251 00:15:56,880 --> 00:16:00,600 Speaker 1: wood to where a giant oak tree stood and cast 252 00:16:00,680 --> 00:16:04,520 Speaker 1: its shade upon a field. He tied his horse, unhooked 253 00:16:04,560 --> 00:16:08,360 Speaker 1: his shield, and hung it from the lowest bow. Listen 254 00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:12,160 Speaker 1: to what the fool did now. He drew his sword, 255 00:16:12,400 --> 00:16:17,480 Speaker 1: shining and bright, and beat the shield with all his might, 256 00:16:18,120 --> 00:16:21,520 Speaker 1: battering like a maniac, making it clatter at every whack 257 00:16:21,680 --> 00:16:25,240 Speaker 1: till it mutilated it. He took his sturdy lance and 258 00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:29,600 Speaker 1: hit the branch. The lance flintered in thirds. His work 259 00:16:29,680 --> 00:16:32,920 Speaker 1: was finished, so he spurred his horse around the woods 260 00:16:32,920 --> 00:16:36,240 Speaker 1: some more before arriving home. He bore a third of 261 00:16:36,320 --> 00:16:38,960 Speaker 1: his lance and but a fourth of the shields that 262 00:16:39,040 --> 00:16:42,960 Speaker 1: he had carried forth. He reined his horse. His wife 263 00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:45,560 Speaker 1: came out to ask what this was all about and 264 00:16:45,640 --> 00:16:50,160 Speaker 1: hold his stirrup strap in place, But the night hit 265 00:16:50,280 --> 00:16:53,960 Speaker 1: her in the fake excuse me with the full weight 266 00:16:54,160 --> 00:17:01,760 Speaker 1: of his big foot. What this bitch stand back, he cried, 267 00:17:02,240 --> 00:17:05,639 Speaker 1: Hands off the boot. Let it be known. It isn't 268 00:17:05,760 --> 00:17:08,800 Speaker 1: right for you to touch so great a night as 269 00:17:08,960 --> 00:17:13,200 Speaker 1: I am, not with my renown. No such night from 270 00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:18,960 Speaker 1: Adam down adorns the family tree. You faunted. I'm not defeated, 271 00:17:19,119 --> 00:17:25,639 Speaker 1: weak or daunted. I am the flower of chivalry. The 272 00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:32,119 Speaker 1: lady didn't disagree. Does she really wanted to while she 273 00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:33,879 Speaker 1: just kicked her? He just kicked her in the face. 274 00:17:33,960 --> 00:17:36,040 Speaker 1: I know she was probably like, well, I have something 275 00:17:36,080 --> 00:17:39,440 Speaker 1: to say, but let me retreat to a safe distuct. 276 00:17:39,640 --> 00:17:41,800 Speaker 1: I'm want to wait till i'm not, you know, eye 277 00:17:41,880 --> 00:17:45,440 Speaker 1: level with your foot. Freaking foot exactly What an asshole 278 00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:49,399 Speaker 1: guy sucks? What a chivalrous guy just kicked your wife 279 00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:57,080 Speaker 1: in the face. I'm the chivalry in consternation. She beheld 280 00:17:57,240 --> 00:18:00,879 Speaker 1: the shattered lance and broken shield, not knowing what to 281 00:18:00,920 --> 00:18:04,440 Speaker 1: think or say about the evidence on display. Afraid he'd 282 00:18:04,480 --> 00:18:07,840 Speaker 1: beat her to the ground because he threatened her and frowned. 283 00:18:08,359 --> 00:18:11,560 Speaker 1: She dared not touch, but stood somewhat out of his reach. 284 00:18:12,040 --> 00:18:16,200 Speaker 1: Her mouth stayed shut. What shall I say? He used 285 00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:19,560 Speaker 1: this game to vilify her family name and put her 286 00:18:19,600 --> 00:18:22,840 Speaker 1: in her place, that is, to set her value under his. 287 00:18:24,080 --> 00:18:27,280 Speaker 1: Another time, the night came back with another shield, all 288 00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:31,520 Speaker 1: hued and hacked and full of holes. His chain mail shirt, however, 289 00:18:31,960 --> 00:18:35,320 Speaker 1: was by no means hurt. Neither was he from head 290 00:18:35,359 --> 00:18:38,760 Speaker 1: to foot. He wasn't bruised, he wasn't cut, he wasn't 291 00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:43,520 Speaker 1: even tired out. That's when his wife began to doubt 292 00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:49,359 Speaker 1: her husband's claim that he'd unhorsed, defeated, subjugated, forced to 293 00:18:49,440 --> 00:18:54,080 Speaker 1: pay homage, put to flight, and hanged two dozen enemy 294 00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:59,720 Speaker 1: nights that day. She saw that he concealed his cowardice 295 00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:03,600 Speaker 1: of a cracked shield and told herself, if he went 296 00:19:03,680 --> 00:19:07,600 Speaker 1: back into the woods again, she'd track him down to 297 00:19:07,800 --> 00:19:11,160 Speaker 1: learn what foes he sought and what he did and 298 00:19:11,200 --> 00:19:15,080 Speaker 1: how he fought. I like this girl, Yeah, she's canny. 299 00:19:15,240 --> 00:19:17,960 Speaker 1: She said, Okay, We're going to hold my tongue for now, 300 00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:21,600 Speaker 1: but I'm about to find out about you, sir. Really 301 00:19:21,680 --> 00:19:27,280 Speaker 1: some bullshit happening here, sir, bullshit obviously already, this guy, 302 00:19:27,520 --> 00:19:30,359 Speaker 1: you know, Mr Pie and Custard all day is not 303 00:19:30,480 --> 00:19:33,040 Speaker 1: going out there and killing two dozen guys at a time. 304 00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:38,920 Speaker 1: And then he comes back completely undented armor. His shield 305 00:19:39,080 --> 00:19:41,280 Speaker 1: is the only thing that's Oh okay, I guess he's 306 00:19:41,359 --> 00:19:46,680 Speaker 1: so good at blocking hit. Come on, come on, man, 307 00:19:46,800 --> 00:19:49,000 Speaker 1: let's follow make your lie a little more believable. Should 308 00:19:49,080 --> 00:19:51,320 Speaker 1: let your squire like punchy in the face ones or something? Yes, 309 00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:55,120 Speaker 1: exactly all of this could have been avoided. So I'm 310 00:19:55,160 --> 00:19:57,840 Speaker 1: glad that she's got a plan. She's figuring it out. 311 00:19:58,200 --> 00:20:00,600 Speaker 1: And before we find out what she did dead, I 312 00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:03,120 Speaker 1: think we should take just a real quick commercial break. Yes, 313 00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:13,560 Speaker 1: all right, welcome back to Bragier of the long assholes. 314 00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:17,480 Speaker 1: These were the plans she settled on early next day, 315 00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:20,800 Speaker 1: at break of dawn, her husband armed and said he 316 00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:25,359 Speaker 1: still had three more enemies to kill, who kept on 317 00:20:25,480 --> 00:20:30,800 Speaker 1: threatening and defying, causing disturbances and spying crimes which the 318 00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:37,040 Speaker 1: noble knight detested. The lady tactfully suggested he takes some servants, 319 00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:41,199 Speaker 1: three or four to make the victory more sure. Lady, 320 00:20:41,400 --> 00:20:45,440 Speaker 1: he said, I'll go alone. I'll kill him so well 321 00:20:45,520 --> 00:20:48,800 Speaker 1: on my own. Not one will get away with his life. 322 00:20:49,960 --> 00:20:53,520 Speaker 1: Urging his charger past his wife, he sallied forth with 323 00:20:53,640 --> 00:20:58,040 Speaker 1: zeal and zest into the woods. She rose and dressed 324 00:20:58,119 --> 00:21:02,840 Speaker 1: herself in armor like a night mounted a stallion, held 325 00:21:02,880 --> 00:21:06,239 Speaker 1: on tight, did not delay, did not look back, and 326 00:21:06,359 --> 00:21:09,720 Speaker 1: followed in her husband's track till there he was in 327 00:21:09,720 --> 00:21:12,760 Speaker 1: the same field, and from the same oak tree. His 328 00:21:12,880 --> 00:21:16,760 Speaker 1: shield was hanging. He was beating it, banging and making 329 00:21:16,760 --> 00:21:21,119 Speaker 1: it submit to a cruel martyrdom and rigor. A person 330 00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:24,960 Speaker 1: standing near might figure a hundred devils were there yelling, 331 00:21:25,640 --> 00:21:28,639 Speaker 1: this isn't any joke, I'm telling He raised a rocket 332 00:21:28,840 --> 00:21:36,200 Speaker 1: to the guy. The lady reined her horse nearby. Classic 333 00:21:37,280 --> 00:21:41,800 Speaker 1: century cross dressing trick. Yeah, this Shakespeare chaucer. All of 334 00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:44,439 Speaker 1: them were like ladies can address as a man and 335 00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:46,600 Speaker 1: go in and take care of business and just handle 336 00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:50,000 Speaker 1: this whole situation right now. I also love these like 337 00:21:50,080 --> 00:21:52,600 Speaker 1: this ain't a joke, y'all, even like a joke story, 338 00:21:53,760 --> 00:21:55,119 Speaker 1: Like I know I've been telling you a joke this 339 00:21:55,119 --> 00:21:58,240 Speaker 1: whole time. But this, this one's not a joke all out. 340 00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:02,000 Speaker 1: I love this image of him screaming and wailing on 341 00:22:02,040 --> 00:22:05,720 Speaker 1: the shield in the tree. How about you? Why I 342 00:22:08,400 --> 00:22:13,720 Speaker 1: say that to my face? Shield? Bang bang bang? Why 343 00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:17,399 Speaker 1: don't you pick on someone your own size? At first, 344 00:22:17,440 --> 00:22:21,800 Speaker 1: the sight of this display of folly filled her with dismay, 345 00:22:21,840 --> 00:22:25,480 Speaker 1: But when she'd heard her fill of noise, she shouted 346 00:22:25,560 --> 00:22:29,200 Speaker 1: with a mighty voice and urged her chargers straight ahead. 347 00:22:30,280 --> 00:22:34,000 Speaker 1: Sir knight, Sir knight, what folly led you to come 348 00:22:34,080 --> 00:22:38,359 Speaker 1: cutting up my manner? Vain? Are my knighthood and my honor? 349 00:22:38,640 --> 00:22:42,000 Speaker 1: If I don't slay you on this field? Why are 350 00:22:42,040 --> 00:22:45,639 Speaker 1: you picking on that shield? What has it ever done 351 00:22:45,680 --> 00:22:48,720 Speaker 1: to you? You've bit off more than you can chew? 352 00:22:49,080 --> 00:22:52,240 Speaker 1: Fine on whoever says it's fit for you to wage 353 00:22:52,280 --> 00:22:57,600 Speaker 1: a war on it? Why did that shield out to 354 00:22:57,640 --> 00:23:03,120 Speaker 1: defend the shields honor? And when he heard the speech 355 00:23:03,200 --> 00:23:07,840 Speaker 1: she made, he was dumbfounded and dismayed his wife he 356 00:23:07,880 --> 00:23:12,639 Speaker 1: didn't recognize at once. Great tears fell from his eyes, 357 00:23:13,240 --> 00:23:18,520 Speaker 1: and his damasked sword fell from his grasp. Sir, for 358 00:23:18,680 --> 00:23:22,920 Speaker 1: God's sake, he managed to gasp, pity. If I've done 359 00:23:22,960 --> 00:23:27,240 Speaker 1: any wrong, I'll give you whatever you want. My pony lance. 360 00:23:27,440 --> 00:23:32,600 Speaker 1: Here's my shield, saddle money, the lady said, as God's 361 00:23:32,680 --> 00:23:36,840 Speaker 1: my shield. Before you've parted from this field, you'll change 362 00:23:36,880 --> 00:23:41,280 Speaker 1: your tune. Now stop this noise. I'm giving you an 363 00:23:41,320 --> 00:23:45,960 Speaker 1: even choice. Either you joust with me right now. If so, 364 00:23:46,520 --> 00:23:49,720 Speaker 1: you have my solemn vow. If you're unhorsed, you will 365 00:23:49,760 --> 00:23:52,960 Speaker 1: not fail to lose your head. It won't avail to 366 00:23:53,040 --> 00:23:57,920 Speaker 1: beg for pity or remorse. Or Let me get down 367 00:23:58,040 --> 00:24:01,440 Speaker 1: from my horse and I'll bend dover on the grass 368 00:24:01,720 --> 00:24:06,600 Speaker 1: and you can come and kiss my ass right in 369 00:24:06,640 --> 00:24:10,240 Speaker 1: the middle, if you please, just take whichever one of 370 00:24:10,280 --> 00:24:16,480 Speaker 1: these that suits your inclination. Choose. He who was shaking 371 00:24:16,520 --> 00:24:21,520 Speaker 1: in his shoes, whose cowardliness no shame could oust, declared 372 00:24:21,560 --> 00:24:26,359 Speaker 1: his purpose not to joust. I love this so what, 373 00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:30,000 Speaker 1: she said. I'll either fight you and I will kill you, 374 00:24:30,400 --> 00:24:32,440 Speaker 1: or you can come over here and kiss me right 375 00:24:32,480 --> 00:24:37,000 Speaker 1: between the cheeks, right in the butt hole area. I 376 00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:41,720 Speaker 1: want you to look, he said, in my eye, and 377 00:24:41,840 --> 00:24:48,000 Speaker 1: he said, I'll take I'd like to kiss your butt. Amazing, 378 00:24:48,440 --> 00:24:52,359 Speaker 1: good sir, he said, I've deeply sworn an oath to 379 00:24:52,520 --> 00:24:57,720 Speaker 1: joust with no old man born. What a lie, I've 380 00:24:57,880 --> 00:25:01,760 Speaker 1: sworn an oath? Why would you need to do that anyway? Sorry, 381 00:25:01,760 --> 00:25:05,120 Speaker 1: I just can't. I just saw when I was born 382 00:25:05,240 --> 00:25:11,320 Speaker 1: my mother's again deeply held sincere religious beliefs. But be 383 00:25:11,520 --> 00:25:15,080 Speaker 1: so kind as to dismount, and I'll do what it 384 00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:18,719 Speaker 1: is you want. The lady didn't wait around, but lightly 385 00:25:18,800 --> 00:25:22,359 Speaker 1: leapt upon the ground, stood with her back before his nose, 386 00:25:22,840 --> 00:25:27,359 Speaker 1: lifted her tunic, touched her toes, and said, your face 387 00:25:27,440 --> 00:25:32,280 Speaker 1: goes here, sir knight. But when her crivice came in sight, 388 00:25:32,920 --> 00:25:36,800 Speaker 1: it seemed to him the ass and cunt were one 389 00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:42,360 Speaker 1: long crack from back to front. He thought it surely 390 00:25:42,560 --> 00:25:47,720 Speaker 1: must have been the longest ass he'd ever seen. And 391 00:25:47,800 --> 00:25:53,240 Speaker 1: there he placed the kiss of sleep, which cowards customarily use, 392 00:25:53,880 --> 00:25:57,160 Speaker 1: next to the whole. That's how she served the night, 393 00:25:57,359 --> 00:26:02,240 Speaker 1: what richly he deserved. The lady stood, turned round and mounted. 394 00:26:02,760 --> 00:26:06,760 Speaker 1: Before she left, her husband shouted, tell me your name, sir. 395 00:26:07,040 --> 00:26:10,760 Speaker 1: Since you're leaving, then go in peace. We'll call it even. 396 00:26:12,520 --> 00:26:16,920 Speaker 1: I'll call it even even, dude, you've just got humiliated. 397 00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:25,720 Speaker 1: Good sir, there's no even about this I won vassal. 398 00:26:25,920 --> 00:26:29,399 Speaker 1: I'll tell it, I don't mind another such name. You 399 00:26:29,520 --> 00:26:32,720 Speaker 1: will not find. All other men are beneath my class. 400 00:26:33,119 --> 00:26:36,760 Speaker 1: I'm barangier of the long ass who puts to shame 401 00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:41,280 Speaker 1: the chicken hearted. The wife had finished what she'd started. 402 00:26:41,880 --> 00:26:45,239 Speaker 1: Now she returned home through the wood, disarmed herself as 403 00:26:45,280 --> 00:26:48,439 Speaker 1: best she could, and sent for the night. She held 404 00:26:48,480 --> 00:26:53,200 Speaker 1: above all others in esteem and love. She led him 405 00:26:53,240 --> 00:26:57,680 Speaker 1: into the bedchamber, where with an eager kiss, he claimed her. 406 00:26:58,760 --> 00:27:01,920 Speaker 1: And when the husband read to the house, she, who 407 00:27:01,960 --> 00:27:05,960 Speaker 1: did not fear her spouse, didn't even dane to stir, 408 00:27:06,520 --> 00:27:09,320 Speaker 1: but made her lovers sit by her. And when the 409 00:27:09,440 --> 00:27:13,639 Speaker 1: night came in the room, afflicted by despair and gloom, 410 00:27:13,680 --> 00:27:16,919 Speaker 1: the sight of a lover with his wife was not 411 00:27:17,160 --> 00:27:22,480 Speaker 1: the high point of his life. Boy, what a day. 412 00:27:23,040 --> 00:27:25,240 Speaker 1: You know, I decided to kiss this guy's ass. Now 413 00:27:25,240 --> 00:27:27,359 Speaker 1: I come home. There's other guys have been my wife. 414 00:27:27,640 --> 00:27:30,240 Speaker 1: I caught in the act, acting like an idiotte Now 415 00:27:30,240 --> 00:27:33,000 Speaker 1: she's caught in the act. You know, called that one 416 00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:37,679 Speaker 1: a draw and came home to this, and I love that. 417 00:27:37,720 --> 00:27:39,800 Speaker 1: She's just like, yeah, what it would come on him? 418 00:27:39,800 --> 00:27:42,399 Speaker 1: Are you going to do? Yeah? No, no, honey, you 419 00:27:42,480 --> 00:27:45,600 Speaker 1: stay right here. Yes, my husband's home. Don't you move, Oh, 420 00:27:45,600 --> 00:27:50,240 Speaker 1: don't you worry. He can't do ship to you, madam, 421 00:27:50,520 --> 00:27:54,480 Speaker 1: he said. It's plain to me that you have done 422 00:27:54,560 --> 00:27:59,680 Speaker 1: me injury bringing a man to my abode. You'll pay 423 00:27:59,760 --> 00:28:03,160 Speaker 1: for the is my girl you've sewed, and you shall reap. 424 00:28:03,400 --> 00:28:06,680 Speaker 1: Shut up, you bore, she said, And don't say anymore, 425 00:28:07,160 --> 00:28:11,119 Speaker 1: because one more instinuation against my name and reputation, and 426 00:28:11,200 --> 00:28:14,119 Speaker 1: by the Saint cellphile a claim against you for my 427 00:28:14,280 --> 00:28:19,320 Speaker 1: injured fame. Go on, you cuckold, go on, be jealous. 428 00:28:19,440 --> 00:28:23,800 Speaker 1: You'll file a claim. And who, pray tell us, will 429 00:28:23,920 --> 00:28:28,120 Speaker 1: hear a claim that comes from you, your fellow knight 430 00:28:28,160 --> 00:28:31,680 Speaker 1: at arms? Is who who subjugated you today? I mean, 431 00:28:31,760 --> 00:28:35,680 Speaker 1: my lord, Sir Barrangier of the long Ass, who will 432 00:28:35,720 --> 00:28:41,120 Speaker 1: disgrace you once again? The husband's face turned fiery red 433 00:28:41,120 --> 00:28:45,080 Speaker 1: with rage and shame. No more could he abuse her name. 434 00:28:45,560 --> 00:28:49,360 Speaker 1: He felt checkmated, he felt ill, And from that day 435 00:28:49,920 --> 00:28:54,000 Speaker 1: she did her will. She was no common girl or fool. 436 00:28:54,920 --> 00:29:00,280 Speaker 1: When the shepherd's weak, the wolf ships wool. What a 437 00:29:00,400 --> 00:29:06,080 Speaker 1: moral the end? The end? Yea When the shepherd's weak, 438 00:29:06,240 --> 00:29:09,880 Speaker 1: the wolf ships. Well, well, you know you gotta watch 439 00:29:09,920 --> 00:29:13,240 Speaker 1: you gotta be a good shepherd there. Well, and that's 440 00:29:13,240 --> 00:29:16,479 Speaker 1: what's interesting about this fabilio, you know, compared to others, 441 00:29:16,680 --> 00:29:18,640 Speaker 1: if you kind of mentioned in the beginning, the women 442 00:29:18,680 --> 00:29:21,360 Speaker 1: are usually not like the main character of the story 443 00:29:21,520 --> 00:29:24,080 Speaker 1: or even a very well respected character of the story. 444 00:29:24,440 --> 00:29:26,840 Speaker 1: But this one was very much immoral about like, you 445 00:29:26,880 --> 00:29:30,360 Speaker 1: should not demean your wife, and trust me, she'll find 446 00:29:30,360 --> 00:29:34,560 Speaker 1: a way to roll reversal that if she can, or 447 00:29:34,640 --> 00:29:36,320 Speaker 1: you know, maybe he was just trying to be like, 448 00:29:36,960 --> 00:29:39,480 Speaker 1: even if she can't, you should have to kiss someone's 449 00:29:39,680 --> 00:29:42,560 Speaker 1: as for kicking your wife in the face and acting 450 00:29:42,600 --> 00:29:45,280 Speaker 1: like she's not a equal partner to you and stuff 451 00:29:45,320 --> 00:29:48,240 Speaker 1: like that, right, um, And I wonder if it's because 452 00:29:48,280 --> 00:29:50,720 Speaker 1: she's from nobility, like if he would have written it 453 00:29:50,760 --> 00:29:55,280 Speaker 1: about another commoner, or if he was just like, oh, 454 00:29:55,400 --> 00:29:58,720 Speaker 1: she's worth more because she's that don't seem to have 455 00:29:58,800 --> 00:30:01,800 Speaker 1: that sort of classism about him. Well, we're gonna talk. 456 00:30:01,800 --> 00:30:04,080 Speaker 1: We gotta squeeze one more commercial break in we'll talk 457 00:30:04,120 --> 00:30:06,560 Speaker 1: more about it, and uh, and a few other poems 458 00:30:06,560 --> 00:30:08,479 Speaker 1: that will will just kind of summarize for you all 459 00:30:08,480 --> 00:30:14,560 Speaker 1: when we come back right after this welcome back to 460 00:30:14,640 --> 00:30:18,959 Speaker 1: the show, everybody. All right, So this really this poem, 461 00:30:18,960 --> 00:30:23,520 Speaker 1: I mean, the characters are so hilarious. I mean because 462 00:30:23,680 --> 00:30:27,320 Speaker 1: she's great. Obviously we talked about that. And again, yeah, 463 00:30:27,360 --> 00:30:31,080 Speaker 1: maybe it's because she's noble. And this author clearly thinks 464 00:30:31,120 --> 00:30:33,960 Speaker 1: that noble people are better than common people, Like if 465 00:30:34,000 --> 00:30:36,760 Speaker 1: you're poor and you marry into money, you're a big 466 00:30:36,760 --> 00:30:39,000 Speaker 1: piece of ship, like you must be a gold digger, 467 00:30:39,120 --> 00:30:42,080 Speaker 1: you know. And obviously he's creating these characters who matched 468 00:30:42,120 --> 00:30:46,440 Speaker 1: that stereotype. But um, but she's great. She's like, I'm 469 00:30:46,480 --> 00:30:49,959 Speaker 1: gonna take care of business, I'm gonna dress up as 470 00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:53,800 Speaker 1: a night and then she called herself bronge a of 471 00:30:53,840 --> 00:30:57,000 Speaker 1: the long ass. So did he comment on it when 472 00:30:57,040 --> 00:30:58,880 Speaker 1: he saw it? Well, And when I read it, I 473 00:30:58,880 --> 00:31:00,959 Speaker 1: thought he was just thinking too him, right, But a 474 00:31:00,960 --> 00:31:05,360 Speaker 1: lot of the like analysis of the poem, they seem 475 00:31:05,440 --> 00:31:07,520 Speaker 1: to act as if he says it out loud. And 476 00:31:07,560 --> 00:31:10,360 Speaker 1: that's why she writes Brownie at the long Ass and 477 00:31:10,400 --> 00:31:12,960 Speaker 1: it's like part of his humiliation that he can't recognize 478 00:31:13,040 --> 00:31:17,640 Speaker 1: female genitals, like, like it's not just the fact that 479 00:31:17,640 --> 00:31:20,280 Speaker 1: he is like such a lame night that he's never 480 00:31:20,360 --> 00:31:22,720 Speaker 1: done anything. It's not just the fact that is he 481 00:31:22,760 --> 00:31:25,080 Speaker 1: doesn't recognize his own wife when she's talking to him, 482 00:31:25,280 --> 00:31:27,880 Speaker 1: but it's also like he sees a vagina and he's like, 483 00:31:27,920 --> 00:31:33,440 Speaker 1: what's that? Just like, wow, where does he think this 484 00:31:33,480 --> 00:31:37,360 Speaker 1: guy's dick is on his stomach? That's the other question 485 00:31:37,480 --> 00:31:41,720 Speaker 1: that he's very he doesn't understand male or female anatomy. 486 00:31:42,040 --> 00:31:43,520 Speaker 1: He's like, I guess this dick comes out of his 487 00:31:43,560 --> 00:31:49,120 Speaker 1: belly button. This guy's crazy as goes all the way around. WHOA, 488 00:31:50,720 --> 00:31:52,440 Speaker 1: maybe he just thought he had a really tall but 489 00:31:53,160 --> 00:32:00,480 Speaker 1: just very tall but stationed fans out there. Yes, just 490 00:32:00,520 --> 00:32:03,800 Speaker 1: like station and you had stations. But yeah, yeah, Martian. 491 00:32:03,920 --> 00:32:07,600 Speaker 1: But um, amazing, who did this translation? Do we know? 492 00:32:08,120 --> 00:32:09,840 Speaker 1: I don't know. I just saw it was an English 493 00:32:09,880 --> 00:32:14,280 Speaker 1: translation that the one I found was like it was 494 00:32:14,440 --> 00:32:16,920 Speaker 1: linked in another place, but that link is now broken. 495 00:32:17,040 --> 00:32:19,880 Speaker 1: So they were like, I'm just sharing it here for 496 00:32:19,880 --> 00:32:26,120 Speaker 1: for posterity, posteriors, posterior area. If you translated this, let 497 00:32:26,160 --> 00:32:29,000 Speaker 1: us know and we'll shot the episode, or lie to 498 00:32:29,080 --> 00:32:30,680 Speaker 1: us and tell us you did and we'll say it anyway. 499 00:32:30,720 --> 00:32:35,040 Speaker 1: We don't know. Wow, amazing. I'm I am very fascinated 500 00:32:35,080 --> 00:32:38,720 Speaker 1: by translations, especially of poems where you have to take 501 00:32:38,760 --> 00:32:41,680 Speaker 1: it from what it rhymed in one language, and it's 502 00:32:41,680 --> 00:32:43,920 Speaker 1: a certain meter and rhythm in one language, and they 503 00:32:44,040 --> 00:32:46,400 Speaker 1: have to make it rhyme and have meter and everything 504 00:32:46,560 --> 00:32:51,080 Speaker 1: in it the new language and match the context and 505 00:32:51,120 --> 00:32:55,000 Speaker 1: the intention and everything. Yeah, that's that must be very heard. 506 00:32:55,320 --> 00:32:57,760 Speaker 1: This might be a very biased thing that I heard. 507 00:32:57,880 --> 00:33:01,360 Speaker 1: And this wasn't you know, years ago and school a 508 00:33:01,440 --> 00:33:06,800 Speaker 1: few years ago in high school a couple of years that. Um, 509 00:33:06,840 --> 00:33:10,840 Speaker 1: some poets and scholars have said that probably they mean 510 00:33:10,920 --> 00:33:14,000 Speaker 1: of Western European languages, that English is the easiest one 511 00:33:14,040 --> 00:33:16,440 Speaker 1: to rhyme in. But I don't know, because I feel 512 00:33:16,480 --> 00:33:20,240 Speaker 1: like French everything sounds, everything's the same vowel sounds. So 513 00:33:22,040 --> 00:33:25,280 Speaker 1: it's true, that is true. But yeah, it is pretty 514 00:33:25,280 --> 00:33:28,280 Speaker 1: fascinating that that job is tough. I've read some translations 515 00:33:28,320 --> 00:33:29,920 Speaker 1: and then you go back and like the original, You're like, 516 00:33:29,920 --> 00:33:31,800 Speaker 1: oh my god, how did they did you do this? 517 00:33:32,320 --> 00:33:36,040 Speaker 1: Or how did this fit so well? Right? That damn, 518 00:33:36,240 --> 00:33:38,480 Speaker 1: this is a straight translation and it still rhymes. That 519 00:33:38,520 --> 00:33:41,480 Speaker 1: guy must have been like, lucky me the east job 520 00:33:41,480 --> 00:33:44,000 Speaker 1: I've ever had. This is great. I just get to 521 00:33:44,000 --> 00:33:47,360 Speaker 1: write about a really long asshole. I do, Like I 522 00:33:47,400 --> 00:33:50,440 Speaker 1: did read once that like translation is like there's a 523 00:33:50,440 --> 00:33:53,280 Speaker 1: whole other layer to it that's very difficult, which is 524 00:33:53,560 --> 00:33:56,880 Speaker 1: what people really mean the word they use, and like 525 00:33:57,080 --> 00:33:59,760 Speaker 1: that's all kind of cultural context, it's not really in 526 00:33:59,840 --> 00:34:02,520 Speaker 1: a definition. Is very hard to teach. It's one of 527 00:34:02,520 --> 00:34:04,120 Speaker 1: those things you kind of have to grow up to know, 528 00:34:04,960 --> 00:34:06,920 Speaker 1: you know. So they've talked about that being like, oh, 529 00:34:07,120 --> 00:34:09,720 Speaker 1: you know, this person's translation of this is not quite 530 00:34:09,719 --> 00:34:13,040 Speaker 1: as accurate as this person's translation because of data. Like 531 00:34:13,120 --> 00:34:16,200 Speaker 1: there's so many things like that for sure, So hopefully 532 00:34:16,239 --> 00:34:19,240 Speaker 1: this is a good considered a good translation at this poem, 533 00:34:19,320 --> 00:34:21,919 Speaker 1: I certainly enjoyed it. I mean it's great, the meter 534 00:34:22,120 --> 00:34:25,600 Speaker 1: is solid, the rhymes are funny, Like, yeah, it's a 535 00:34:25,640 --> 00:34:28,200 Speaker 1: really good one. I think my favorite was was not 536 00:34:28,400 --> 00:34:34,560 Speaker 1: the high point of his understatement. I also like that 537 00:34:34,600 --> 00:34:38,839 Speaker 1: he always called her lady, lady listen here. I know 538 00:34:38,920 --> 00:34:41,800 Speaker 1: that's not how they said it, but whatever was lady 539 00:34:42,440 --> 00:34:47,600 Speaker 1: shut up? Oh well, that is certainly just one of 540 00:34:47,800 --> 00:34:52,720 Speaker 1: many many fabulios out there or fabulio fablio French plural. 541 00:34:53,360 --> 00:34:59,160 Speaker 1: Others include titles such as The Turd, The Three Ladies 542 00:34:59,239 --> 00:35:04,719 Speaker 1: Who Found a prick, Like what a story? I mean, right, 543 00:35:04,800 --> 00:35:06,680 Speaker 1: do you do you think they were like, oh, another one, 544 00:35:06,800 --> 00:35:11,440 Speaker 1: or were they like was it a good prick? I know, 545 00:35:11,520 --> 00:35:15,680 Speaker 1: we haven't found the text of these but titles English 546 00:35:15,680 --> 00:35:18,160 Speaker 1: translations of these ones that I could find. But I 547 00:35:18,200 --> 00:35:19,839 Speaker 1: did wonder about that because I was like, maybe they 548 00:35:19,840 --> 00:35:23,000 Speaker 1: were just a welcoming sexual orifice type one where they're 549 00:35:23,000 --> 00:35:25,839 Speaker 1: just like, who gets it. It'd be funnier if they 550 00:35:25,840 --> 00:35:30,919 Speaker 1: were like, oh, another one is called the Knight who 551 00:35:30,960 --> 00:35:36,000 Speaker 1: made cunts and assholes Speak? And I'm like, what did 552 00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:38,920 Speaker 1: they say? Were they like, was he even amazing and 553 00:35:38,960 --> 00:35:42,480 Speaker 1: they couldn't stop singing about it? Or were they like 554 00:35:42,960 --> 00:35:45,000 Speaker 1: get it out of me? I know, right, No, we 555 00:35:45,000 --> 00:35:47,480 Speaker 1: have well, we actually do have a summary at least 556 00:35:47,480 --> 00:35:50,479 Speaker 1: of this of the story of the Knight who made 557 00:35:50,520 --> 00:35:54,879 Speaker 1: gunts and Assholes Speak. Unfortunately, and can't share a translation 558 00:35:55,200 --> 00:35:58,640 Speaker 1: of the actual verses. I wish, I wish, but we 559 00:35:58,680 --> 00:36:01,440 Speaker 1: did I did find from sus Anna Greer Fine from 560 00:36:01,480 --> 00:36:05,640 Speaker 1: the University of Rochester's Digital Library Project, she wrote about 561 00:36:05,719 --> 00:36:09,600 Speaker 1: this this fablio. It's about kind of like an adventuring night. 562 00:36:09,760 --> 00:36:12,319 Speaker 1: He's very handsome and worthy, but he's kind of down 563 00:36:12,320 --> 00:36:15,680 Speaker 1: on his luck. He's got a very clever squire named Hewitt. 564 00:36:15,960 --> 00:36:23,799 Speaker 1: Hewitt for a squire, totally Hewett with me like that. Well, 565 00:36:23,840 --> 00:36:26,719 Speaker 1: in much like in many medieval tales, he's a very 566 00:36:26,719 --> 00:36:29,719 Speaker 1: clever squire, like without whom the Night would be like 567 00:36:29,920 --> 00:36:33,680 Speaker 1: totally screw. Sure, sure, he's that kind of stock character. 568 00:36:33,680 --> 00:36:36,120 Speaker 1: I guess you could say that it's very art theian. 569 00:36:36,520 --> 00:36:39,759 Speaker 1: So the Night is low on resources. He's trying to 570 00:36:39,800 --> 00:36:44,440 Speaker 1: make some money by going to different tournaments, basically tournamenting 571 00:36:44,440 --> 00:36:51,279 Speaker 1: for moneyney like you know, pay per view. It's like 572 00:36:51,280 --> 00:36:54,080 Speaker 1: the m m A of their time and of Hewitt's 573 00:36:54,120 --> 00:36:56,920 Speaker 1: of course, like great sounds great, but they're like really poor. 574 00:36:57,040 --> 00:37:01,279 Speaker 1: They have to constantly stay in like religious houses, churches, facts, 575 00:37:01,320 --> 00:37:04,080 Speaker 1: they have no money. So one day they come across 576 00:37:04,160 --> 00:37:11,080 Speaker 1: these three nymphs that are bathing like you do, and Hewitt, 577 00:37:11,200 --> 00:37:14,879 Speaker 1: being so cunning and and courageous, decides to steal their 578 00:37:14,920 --> 00:37:19,239 Speaker 1: clothes while they're bathing. Rude he is. And so in 579 00:37:19,320 --> 00:37:21,920 Speaker 1: order to get them back these maidens, who surprise are 580 00:37:21,960 --> 00:37:26,200 Speaker 1: actually fairies. There you go, don't fat, I know, please 581 00:37:26,280 --> 00:37:30,040 Speaker 1: do not like if you know anything about Faye fairy 582 00:37:30,080 --> 00:37:33,600 Speaker 1: like mythology, do not funk with fairies, but they are 583 00:37:33,680 --> 00:37:37,719 Speaker 1: not funny. Yes, So these fairies they appeal to the 584 00:37:37,880 --> 00:37:42,080 Speaker 1: night and they promise him three gifts in order for 585 00:37:42,280 --> 00:37:45,759 Speaker 1: the return of their their clothes, which is funny because 586 00:37:45,760 --> 00:37:47,880 Speaker 1: like you stole them in the first place, just give back, right, 587 00:37:47,920 --> 00:37:50,520 Speaker 1: I guess I have to give you something now. So 588 00:37:50,560 --> 00:37:53,560 Speaker 1: the first gift is like romance, right, they say, you'll 589 00:37:53,560 --> 00:37:58,399 Speaker 1: be welcomed, You'll be cherished by wherever you're a guest. Uh, 590 00:37:58,520 --> 00:38:01,200 Speaker 1: there will be love for you. Yeah, people are into you. 591 00:38:01,239 --> 00:38:05,120 Speaker 1: They're just gonna be like, oh my god, big nights here. Ah, 592 00:38:05,200 --> 00:38:08,440 Speaker 1: this guy will be the most popular kid at school. 593 00:38:08,600 --> 00:38:12,759 Speaker 1: Who it is? Yeah, every time you walk in a bar. Yeah, exactly, 594 00:38:13,520 --> 00:38:18,320 Speaker 1: we just dated ourselves. The second gift they offer adds 595 00:38:18,520 --> 00:38:21,279 Speaker 1: this like sexual fantasy for him. All the women and 596 00:38:21,360 --> 00:38:25,280 Speaker 1: girls that eMates are just gonna drop trou and say, yes, 597 00:38:25,640 --> 00:38:28,560 Speaker 1: I want you, I need you, come home. It's a 598 00:38:28,640 --> 00:38:33,000 Speaker 1: little bit like of a magical non consent. Get into 599 00:38:33,320 --> 00:38:37,399 Speaker 1: this dicey territory. Yeah for sure. Now. The third they 600 00:38:37,440 --> 00:38:41,799 Speaker 1: offer him gets into this more body territory. Uh. Fablios 601 00:38:41,840 --> 00:38:44,959 Speaker 1: often have like a surreal and fantastical element to them 602 00:38:45,480 --> 00:38:49,600 Speaker 1: and this is a very noteworthy gift. They offer him 603 00:38:49,640 --> 00:38:54,920 Speaker 1: the power to make culls and coons or countstant assholes? 604 00:38:55,200 --> 00:38:59,840 Speaker 1: Is the translation there talk and always tell the truth. 605 00:39:00,000 --> 00:39:06,240 Speaker 1: Oh my god, So he's like beard gift to be offered, 606 00:39:06,560 --> 00:39:10,920 Speaker 1: sweet asshole? What will the weather be tomorrow? It's like sunny, 607 00:39:11,640 --> 00:39:18,760 Speaker 1: sixty five degrees. I guess James Joyce would be like, yes, true, 608 00:39:19,040 --> 00:39:22,880 Speaker 1: I all also make assholes talk. Wow, what a gift. 609 00:39:23,320 --> 00:39:27,360 Speaker 1: It's excuse me. I'd be like, I'm I'm good on 610 00:39:27,480 --> 00:39:31,480 Speaker 1: that last one? Can you make? Can you make them 611 00:39:31,520 --> 00:39:33,160 Speaker 1: just tell me? The truth? Why do they have to 612 00:39:33,160 --> 00:39:34,640 Speaker 1: talk out of there? Why do they have to ace 613 00:39:34,719 --> 00:39:37,879 Speaker 1: ventura the truth? To me? I didn't even think about 614 00:39:37,880 --> 00:39:40,200 Speaker 1: them having to, Like, right, do they have to move there? 615 00:39:40,239 --> 00:39:42,719 Speaker 1: But cheeks to like? Does the spread them so they 616 00:39:42,719 --> 00:39:44,759 Speaker 1: can talk? The little mouth comes out there, little but 617 00:39:44,880 --> 00:39:49,400 Speaker 1: holes like it's like, okay, hang on, let me just 618 00:39:49,480 --> 00:39:53,839 Speaker 1: spread them here much better? Yes, The lucky numbers this 619 00:39:53,880 --> 00:40:00,239 Speaker 1: week are six, seventeen and nine. Oh my god? Or 620 00:40:00,280 --> 00:40:06,840 Speaker 1: is it like the vagina in Big Mouth? Well? Hey girl, Okay, 621 00:40:06,880 --> 00:40:10,359 Speaker 1: So the story continues with the night. Now there's more. 622 00:40:10,520 --> 00:40:12,839 Speaker 1: There's more, because you want to hear I'm sure what 623 00:40:12,880 --> 00:40:16,000 Speaker 1: the kents and assholes had to say. Um. So he's 624 00:40:16,000 --> 00:40:18,440 Speaker 1: got his three gifts and he moves on with his day. 625 00:40:18,480 --> 00:40:20,880 Speaker 1: I guess. I'm sure he gives the clothes back, otherwise 626 00:40:20,920 --> 00:40:26,080 Speaker 1: he wouldn't keep the gifts. So uh. He first encounters 627 00:40:26,719 --> 00:40:31,960 Speaker 1: chaplain writing a mayor um and Hewitt reminds a night, 628 00:40:32,239 --> 00:40:35,879 Speaker 1: you know, try out your gift on this chaplain if 629 00:40:35,920 --> 00:40:38,279 Speaker 1: you can get the truth out of this guy. So 630 00:40:38,400 --> 00:40:40,920 Speaker 1: while you sit there talking to him, he asks him like, 631 00:40:41,360 --> 00:40:44,240 Speaker 1: where are you going? And the chaplain lies, but the 632 00:40:44,280 --> 00:40:53,839 Speaker 1: mayor's vagina answers, which I did not immediately perceive that 633 00:40:54,400 --> 00:40:58,920 Speaker 1: it would be like interspecies assholes. I thought it was. 634 00:40:58,960 --> 00:41:01,719 Speaker 1: I really went straight to people. But anything with an 635 00:41:01,719 --> 00:41:04,200 Speaker 1: asshole he can talk to. It's that monkey's paw magic. 636 00:41:04,360 --> 00:41:07,279 Speaker 1: You know, you don't know what you're getting exactly. All 637 00:41:07,320 --> 00:41:09,400 Speaker 1: I told you is that vaginas and assholes were going 638 00:41:09,440 --> 00:41:12,560 Speaker 1: to talk to you. I didn't say who's didn't say. 639 00:41:13,040 --> 00:41:16,240 Speaker 1: So this horse vagina is selling out the chaplain because 640 00:41:16,239 --> 00:41:19,160 Speaker 1: it has to tell the truth. It cannot. It's not 641 00:41:19,200 --> 00:41:26,080 Speaker 1: the mayor's fault, but the horses like, oh, actually, actually 642 00:41:26,120 --> 00:41:29,080 Speaker 1: this pervs going to the house of his mistress. We 643 00:41:29,239 --> 00:41:32,200 Speaker 1: go there every night. What's a week he takes me 644 00:41:32,239 --> 00:41:36,120 Speaker 1: here or whatever. So he's like, oh ship, what a chaplain, 645 00:41:36,200 --> 00:41:40,040 Speaker 1: You're off to some ladies house. And so question, could 646 00:41:40,080 --> 00:41:45,040 Speaker 1: the chaplain hear it? The horse the vagina's talk, like 647 00:41:45,080 --> 00:41:47,359 Speaker 1: make them talk or does hear them talk? I think 648 00:41:47,400 --> 00:41:51,280 Speaker 1: they talk because it's like it says, it's a shameful destiny. 649 00:41:51,560 --> 00:41:56,200 Speaker 1: He exposes. The mayor exposes the shameful destination. And I think, 650 00:41:56,360 --> 00:41:58,759 Speaker 1: and there's a couple others after this, so I think 651 00:41:58,760 --> 00:42:03,680 Speaker 1: they do hear what they're her own shock of that 652 00:42:03,760 --> 00:42:07,480 Speaker 1: chaplain just like, oh my god, what do you think 653 00:42:07,480 --> 00:42:09,440 Speaker 1: He was like, oh, yes, just off to church, you know. 654 00:42:09,520 --> 00:42:17,640 Speaker 1: And the horse was alert. Nay, he's not. Nay, it's like, 655 00:42:17,680 --> 00:42:24,600 Speaker 1: shut up your horse's ass. So then the night arrives 656 00:42:24,719 --> 00:42:27,600 Speaker 1: at a castle. Of course, because of his first gift, 657 00:42:27,640 --> 00:42:31,800 Speaker 1: he's enthusiastically welcome to stay at the castle. Yeah, norm 658 00:42:31,840 --> 00:42:34,000 Speaker 1: come on in here. And he doesn't have to stay 659 00:42:34,040 --> 00:42:36,520 Speaker 1: at religious houses anymore. He doesn't have to pay his way, 660 00:42:36,640 --> 00:42:38,920 Speaker 1: like this is a great gift for broke Gass, that 661 00:42:38,960 --> 00:42:42,319 Speaker 1: one's good. Take that gift. And then of course he 662 00:42:42,360 --> 00:42:45,399 Speaker 1: has the second gift. So a young lady visits him 663 00:42:45,400 --> 00:42:50,320 Speaker 1: in his bed that night, because of course they said 664 00:42:50,360 --> 00:42:54,000 Speaker 1: all the ladies will be ready for you, and Susannah 665 00:42:54,000 --> 00:42:58,360 Speaker 1: says quote but now operating without Hugh, it's aid the 666 00:42:58,520 --> 00:43:06,280 Speaker 1: night ungallantly questions the girls cunt. It reveals an unflattering 667 00:43:06,320 --> 00:43:09,960 Speaker 1: truth about her, and she leaves him in horror and shame. 668 00:43:10,080 --> 00:43:14,880 Speaker 1: Oh no, what in the world could her vagina have said? 669 00:43:14,920 --> 00:43:18,640 Speaker 1: I mean, it's like what thirteenth century, so probably like 670 00:43:18,800 --> 00:43:22,400 Speaker 1: sometimes she masturbates, yea, or she like slept in this morning. 671 00:43:23,000 --> 00:43:27,200 Speaker 1: Well that's uh, I get there's your monkey's pot curse, right. 672 00:43:27,680 --> 00:43:29,680 Speaker 1: You know you don't always want to hear the truth 673 00:43:29,800 --> 00:43:32,920 Speaker 1: from someone's vagina, That's right. And again there you go. 674 00:43:33,040 --> 00:43:34,920 Speaker 1: I think I think they do hear it. Because she 675 00:43:35,000 --> 00:43:37,760 Speaker 1: heard her vagina essays some ship. She was like, oh no, 676 00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:43,560 Speaker 1: why did you sell me out? How we're written this together? 677 00:43:44,680 --> 00:43:47,799 Speaker 1: And then the final adventure of this poem is when 678 00:43:47,800 --> 00:43:52,000 Speaker 1: this girl tells the lady of the castle about how 679 00:43:52,040 --> 00:43:54,279 Speaker 1: the night made her vagina talk, because of course, I 680 00:43:54,320 --> 00:43:56,239 Speaker 1: think you probably don't tell some folks about that, and 681 00:43:56,400 --> 00:43:58,600 Speaker 1: just be like, listen, this was a crazy thing. This 682 00:43:58,719 --> 00:44:01,200 Speaker 1: is going to sound in, but I need you to 683 00:44:01,239 --> 00:44:03,799 Speaker 1: go with me on this girl. She's like, girl, get 684 00:44:03,840 --> 00:44:06,400 Speaker 1: over here, I need I need to tell you right 685 00:44:06,600 --> 00:44:09,680 Speaker 1: now what has happened. Do you know these things could talk? 686 00:44:09,760 --> 00:44:11,479 Speaker 1: And the lady of the house is like, oh, yes, 687 00:44:11,880 --> 00:44:15,360 Speaker 1: I've had mine sing before. She's like no, no, I 688 00:44:15,400 --> 00:44:21,320 Speaker 1: mean literally words language. So the countess, I guess, believes 689 00:44:21,400 --> 00:44:23,400 Speaker 1: this woman and shoot this girl. And she's like, okay, 690 00:44:23,520 --> 00:44:27,239 Speaker 1: let me test this power out. And so she goes 691 00:44:27,320 --> 00:44:30,719 Speaker 1: and tries to cheat the night by putting cotton up 692 00:44:30,719 --> 00:44:34,160 Speaker 1: her vagina so that it can't talk, you know, it'll 693 00:44:34,200 --> 00:44:39,600 Speaker 1: be muffled like you did. And he tries to question 694 00:44:39,680 --> 00:44:43,520 Speaker 1: her vagina and it doesn't he can't hear. But fortunately, 695 00:44:44,120 --> 00:44:47,160 Speaker 1: of course Hewitt shows up and it's like, don't forget. 696 00:44:47,239 --> 00:44:53,960 Speaker 1: You can always ask her asshole. And so she's like, 697 00:44:54,000 --> 00:44:57,360 Speaker 1: oh my god, my butt's telling him everything. I didn't 698 00:44:57,400 --> 00:45:02,960 Speaker 1: stuff anything up my butt. I forgot plumb forgot a 699 00:45:03,120 --> 00:45:08,000 Speaker 1: plumb forgot, and Susannah concludes quote. In the end, the 700 00:45:08,080 --> 00:45:11,920 Speaker 1: two adventurers earned their honors Knight of the Cunt, Hewitt 701 00:45:11,960 --> 00:45:14,879 Speaker 1: of Little Asshole in a line that could double as 702 00:45:14,920 --> 00:45:21,319 Speaker 1: the title for the Fabilio been insane story them like, 703 00:45:22,680 --> 00:45:27,359 Speaker 1: can you imagine, Oh my god, I just I just 704 00:45:27,840 --> 00:45:32,640 Speaker 1: the idea of all these women suddenly overcome with horny 705 00:45:32,719 --> 00:45:36,040 Speaker 1: nous for this stranger and a first of all, and 706 00:45:36,080 --> 00:45:40,320 Speaker 1: then be being like, oh my god, my own body 707 00:45:40,400 --> 00:45:45,920 Speaker 1: parts are like telling him all my business? What have 708 00:45:46,000 --> 00:45:50,759 Speaker 1: I done to deserve it? Now, imagine if the night 709 00:45:50,800 --> 00:45:56,120 Speaker 1: had met the Barangier, oh would have gotten he would 710 00:45:56,120 --> 00:45:58,279 Speaker 1: have gotten two conversations, and then he would have known. 711 00:45:59,440 --> 00:46:05,880 Speaker 1: It's like this ain't this ain't no, man, I can't 712 00:46:05,920 --> 00:46:12,320 Speaker 1: believe it. So anyone who thought that poetry or medieval 713 00:46:12,360 --> 00:46:20,120 Speaker 1: times were at all stoic or or repressed or held 714 00:46:20,200 --> 00:46:23,719 Speaker 1: in in any way, guess what that wasn't until the Puritans, 715 00:46:23,920 --> 00:46:28,359 Speaker 1: right exactly. We got the sexually oppressed Victorians, We got 716 00:46:28,360 --> 00:46:31,800 Speaker 1: the Puritans. That's when they probably start making funny poems 717 00:46:31,840 --> 00:46:34,359 Speaker 1: like yeah, And we see time and again on this 718 00:46:34,400 --> 00:46:37,719 Speaker 1: show in other history learnings that we've all been through 719 00:46:37,760 --> 00:46:40,320 Speaker 1: in recent years, was really starting to dig in to 720 00:46:41,000 --> 00:46:48,120 Speaker 1: older history, pre puritanical stuff. Everybody loves dick and vaginas 721 00:46:48,239 --> 00:46:53,279 Speaker 1: like jokes. Everybody loves jokes. It's so true. I think 722 00:46:53,320 --> 00:46:56,719 Speaker 1: this is I really wish because I took I was 723 00:46:56,760 --> 00:46:59,000 Speaker 1: a miner in creative writing in college, and so I 724 00:46:59,040 --> 00:47:01,359 Speaker 1: took several like Poe Tree courses and a couple of 725 00:47:01,400 --> 00:47:04,399 Speaker 1: Old English Middle English like classes and stuff like that. 726 00:47:05,160 --> 00:47:07,520 Speaker 1: And why did they not lead with this? Why did 727 00:47:07,560 --> 00:47:11,000 Speaker 1: you not tell me like how funny and stupid people 728 00:47:11,040 --> 00:47:12,960 Speaker 1: have been all through life? You know, that makes it 729 00:47:13,120 --> 00:47:17,120 Speaker 1: so much more fascinating to learn about history when you're 730 00:47:17,120 --> 00:47:20,960 Speaker 1: really thinking about people being just dumb, big stupid people 731 00:47:21,000 --> 00:47:23,600 Speaker 1: like like we are today, you know what I mean. 732 00:47:23,719 --> 00:47:26,920 Speaker 1: But because I think we still so heavily repress that, 733 00:47:27,480 --> 00:47:30,520 Speaker 1: like we still think, oh, that's B thirteen. Oh that's 734 00:47:30,560 --> 00:47:34,800 Speaker 1: not acceptable for work, that's NSFW, that's you know, that 735 00:47:35,040 --> 00:47:37,759 Speaker 1: shouldn't be allowed into society. You keep that to yourself. 736 00:47:38,239 --> 00:47:41,759 Speaker 1: I don't want to hear that out loud. And why, 737 00:47:42,120 --> 00:47:44,480 Speaker 1: I know, I don't know why, because you might blush 738 00:47:44,520 --> 00:47:48,439 Speaker 1: a little, like it's okay obviously, you know, don't tell 739 00:47:48,440 --> 00:47:51,960 Speaker 1: me about a talking asshole while I'm having dinner, you know, 740 00:47:52,440 --> 00:47:56,160 Speaker 1: wait till we're done. I don't know. Look, I got 741 00:47:56,160 --> 00:47:58,799 Speaker 1: a very strong imagination that I can always shut down, 742 00:47:58,840 --> 00:48:02,479 Speaker 1: so sometimes goes right to my plate and I can't 743 00:48:02,480 --> 00:48:06,319 Speaker 1: eat anymore. And it's very frustrating. But this dumpling looks 744 00:48:06,360 --> 00:48:08,920 Speaker 1: too much like a butthole for me. It's the only 745 00:48:09,120 --> 00:48:12,359 Speaker 1: good thing I ever heard Adam Corolla say, went back 746 00:48:12,400 --> 00:48:15,480 Speaker 1: way back when Love Line was on and Doctor Drew 747 00:48:15,920 --> 00:48:19,960 Speaker 1: and somebody called in and talked about some discharge or something, 748 00:48:20,400 --> 00:48:23,400 Speaker 1: and Doctor Drew like made a reference to some food 749 00:48:23,760 --> 00:48:25,840 Speaker 1: and Adam Corla stopped at me. He said, when you 750 00:48:25,960 --> 00:48:28,359 Speaker 1: make it a food, then I have to eat it. 751 00:48:29,000 --> 00:48:32,920 Speaker 1: So don't compare gross things to foods. And that's my stance. 752 00:48:34,040 --> 00:48:38,160 Speaker 1: I can't handle it. But outside of that, this jokes 753 00:48:38,160 --> 00:48:41,759 Speaker 1: are great. This is larious, hilarious story. I would have 754 00:48:41,800 --> 00:48:44,600 Speaker 1: been like I can had walked into my house or 755 00:48:44,640 --> 00:48:46,320 Speaker 1: into a party I was throwing out, I would have 756 00:48:46,320 --> 00:48:49,439 Speaker 1: been like, hell, yeah, you're about to have a good time. 757 00:48:50,960 --> 00:48:57,640 Speaker 1: Spin us a yarn. Yeah, gong, go stand by the fire, everybody. Look, well, 758 00:48:57,760 --> 00:48:59,279 Speaker 1: this is good stuff. I hope you all thought it 759 00:48:59,320 --> 00:49:01,880 Speaker 1: was funny too. I know. I I really enjoyed reading 760 00:49:01,880 --> 00:49:05,719 Speaker 1: this poem during our research for the Sex Toys. I 761 00:49:05,800 --> 00:49:07,719 Speaker 1: was just giggling the whole way through. And I'm so 762 00:49:07,840 --> 00:49:10,359 Speaker 1: I'm super glad to get a chance to share it 763 00:49:10,400 --> 00:49:13,040 Speaker 1: with you guys, and do kind of a fun reading 764 00:49:13,080 --> 00:49:17,680 Speaker 1: of it until with you bibe and just uh, I 765 00:49:17,680 --> 00:49:22,560 Speaker 1: don't know, just kind of enjoy these like uh, literary traditions. 766 00:49:22,560 --> 00:49:25,600 Speaker 1: We're really not as buttoned up as we like to 767 00:49:25,680 --> 00:49:28,839 Speaker 1: pretend poets are, first of all, and that people from 768 00:49:28,880 --> 00:49:33,120 Speaker 1: history were so. No. People want to be entertained. They 769 00:49:33,120 --> 00:49:35,520 Speaker 1: want to laugh, they want to hear something a little naughty, 770 00:49:35,640 --> 00:49:37,960 Speaker 1: little frisky, made a blush a little bit. It's like 771 00:49:38,000 --> 00:49:40,439 Speaker 1: we do today. You know, it's all the same. So 772 00:49:40,760 --> 00:49:43,879 Speaker 1: just like you're listening here today, you wanted to hear 773 00:49:43,920 --> 00:49:48,319 Speaker 1: some jokes about guns and assholes. If you laughed, if 774 00:49:48,400 --> 00:49:52,160 Speaker 1: you blushed a little, if you were completely offended, please 775 00:49:52,640 --> 00:49:54,440 Speaker 1: let us know. We want to hear about it. Yeah, 776 00:49:54,960 --> 00:49:58,040 Speaker 1: give us, send us, send us your poems. You know, 777 00:49:58,600 --> 00:50:01,480 Speaker 1: we'd love to hear God if we had, if we 778 00:50:01,560 --> 00:50:06,960 Speaker 1: had a listener male like Limerick Corner, oh man body poems. 779 00:50:07,040 --> 00:50:11,440 Speaker 1: So yeah, sentiment we'll read, We'll read the short ones. Yeah, um, 780 00:50:11,480 --> 00:50:14,080 Speaker 1: that's awesome. Yeah, please reach out. You can always email 781 00:50:14,160 --> 00:50:18,800 Speaker 1: us in fact right now, maybe temporarily, maybe forever. H 782 00:50:19,080 --> 00:50:23,200 Speaker 1: email us at ridic romance at gmail dot com. Our 783 00:50:23,280 --> 00:50:25,400 Speaker 1: usual email is a little hung up. We're trying to 784 00:50:25,440 --> 00:50:28,640 Speaker 1: work that out, so so shoot us an email at 785 00:50:28,719 --> 00:50:31,400 Speaker 1: ridic Romance at gmail dot com right or we're on 786 00:50:31,400 --> 00:50:34,520 Speaker 1: Twitter and Instagram. I'm at Danamite Boom and I'm at 787 00:50:34,560 --> 00:50:38,080 Speaker 1: Oh Great. It's Eli and the show is at predict Romance. 788 00:50:38,440 --> 00:50:40,759 Speaker 1: We cannot wait to hear from you, and we can't 789 00:50:40,760 --> 00:50:43,080 Speaker 1: wait to be back next week. A little more to 790 00:50:43,120 --> 00:50:45,719 Speaker 1: our traditional format. But this has been a lot of 791 00:50:45,719 --> 00:50:48,040 Speaker 1: fun and I hope you all enjoyed it. Yes, love 792 00:50:48,080 --> 00:50:51,080 Speaker 1: you guys, See you next time. All right, so long friends, 793 00:50:51,120 --> 00:50:54,840 Speaker 1: it's time to go. Thanks so listening to our show, 794 00:50:55,360 --> 00:50:58,680 Speaker 1: tell your friends names, uncles, inde to listen to our 795 00:50:58,719 --> 00:51:00,319 Speaker 1: show Ridiculous. Well, yes,