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Speaker 1: You're listening to a Live Again, a production of Psychopia

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Speaker 1: Pictures and iHeart Podcasts.

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Speaker 2: My brain was broken. It was scary. Hi, my name

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Speaker 2: is Dana Swanson. In twenty twelve, I had an aronal

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Speaker 2: neoplasm very rare brain tumor in my brain. However, it

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Speaker 2: was in such a position within my head that it

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Speaker 2: was extremely difficult to diagnose and basically, I'm happy I'm

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Speaker 2: here today. It was a high risk surgery. I'm a

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Speaker 2: very intuitive person. I'm a very spiritual person, and another

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Speaker 2: series of events led me to become an intuitive reader.

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Speaker 2: I'm a medium, Akasha record reader. I do the cards,

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Speaker 2: I do it all. I do a lot of channeling.

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Speaker 2: I'm not chosen. I'm not any of that. It's just

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Speaker 2: everybody can do this. It's just like how do you

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Speaker 2: tap in? And my favorite thing to do is to

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Speaker 2: pull people's soul missions, which is like a thing you've done,

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Speaker 2: and not just this life, but every life before, every

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Speaker 2: life after. It's like the thing that's going to anchor you.

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Speaker 1: Welcome to a Live Again, a podcast that showcases miraculous

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Speaker 1: accounts of human fragility and resilience from people. His lives

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Speaker 1: were forever altered. After having almost died. These are first

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Speaker 1: hand accounts of near death experiences and more broadly, brushes

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Speaker 1: with death. Our mission is simple, find, explore, and share

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Speaker 1: these stories to remind us all of our shared human condition.

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Speaker 1: Please keep in mind these stories are true and maybe

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Speaker 1: triggering for some listener, and discretion is advised.

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Speaker 2: I was so dead set on I need to tell

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Speaker 2: people I love them. I need to get all this

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Speaker 2: out of the way. I think part of that was

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Speaker 2: when I was fourteen, my dad died of cancer, and

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Speaker 2: he had that lead time to be like, Okay, we're

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Speaker 2: gonna fight this, we're gonna fight this, we're gonna do this.

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Speaker 2: And then when he realized, oh this is not going

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Speaker 2: as planned, he didn't use those words, but you know,

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Speaker 2: you realize that hospice care is coming in, and oh

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Speaker 2: there's a bed that's now in the living room, like

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Speaker 2: all that small stuff, and I think he knew that

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Speaker 2: he had to say something before it got too dark.

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Speaker 2: He knew that he wanted to be able to express

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Speaker 2: those emotions before it was too late. So I think

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Speaker 2: I use that as a model of I gotta tell

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Speaker 2: people I love them. I have to. I have to

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Speaker 2: make things known that are important. I have such limited

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Speaker 2: time with a functional brain that I want to ensure

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Speaker 2: that everything gets on the page, everything gets handed off off. Honestly,

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Speaker 2: I was a producer at heart. My dad was awesome.

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Speaker 2: He used to do what I would call affordable field tripping,

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Speaker 2: which we lived in Atlanta, and he would take us

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Speaker 2: on Marta, which is the which is the rapid transit system.

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Speaker 2: So we just like ride Marta and be like, look

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Speaker 2: what the conductor's doing, and then we go and watch

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Speaker 2: the planes take off at the airport. He was very

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Speaker 2: into like okay, like how do how do I educate?

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Speaker 2: How do I do something on the cheap? He was

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Speaker 2: super funny, very very beloved, funny guy. He had a

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Speaker 2: nickname at work that was Uncle Lou, and I would

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Speaker 2: be so confused. I was like, wait, Uncle Lou, what

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Speaker 2: is that? Oh wait, whose uncle are you? But it

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Speaker 2: was just because he felt like everybody's uncle that was

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Speaker 2: him was He was hilarious. All I wanted to do

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Speaker 2: was make my dad laugh. And so I think it's

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Speaker 2: also why I I studied comedy and I really wanted

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Speaker 2: to go that route of like, oh, all I want

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Speaker 2: to do is make my dad left. All I want

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Speaker 2: to do is make my dad laugh. I have no

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Speaker 2: idea if I've achieved that, but at least gave me

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Speaker 2: some purpose. And I think him passing when I was

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Speaker 2: fourteen gave me that life direction of still all I

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Speaker 2: want to do is make my dad laugh. So before

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Speaker 2: I started to have problems talking, before my brain just

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Speaker 2: took a dump. I don't know if that's appropriate to say.

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Speaker 2: I was thirty. I just turned thirty. I had an

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Speaker 2: amazing thirtieth birthday. I was so excited. I was a

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Speaker 2: writer producer at Adult Swim, writing promos and commercials and

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Speaker 2: then occasionally providing voice work. I was writing songs from

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Speaker 2: voice work done, so I got really into writing ridiculous

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Speaker 2: songs and performing those live with what can only be

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Speaker 2: described as a queer core band. I don't I have

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Speaker 2: no other way to describe it, but it was a

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Speaker 2: very like sexual humorous band, which you can look up

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Speaker 2: if you want to. I'm not going to say the name.

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Speaker 2: We were doing really well and people loved us. Just

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Speaker 2: won the Georgia Voice Awards Best Local Band. It was

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Speaker 2: like very exciting. I was interviewing celebrities for my job

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Speaker 2: and just getting to like fly across the country. To

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Speaker 2: work on stuff, and I'd really felt like, oh my gosh,

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Speaker 2: this is great, Like I'm making stuff, I'm getting to

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Speaker 2: solve problems. All the time, I had felt like I'm

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Speaker 2: my career is taking off. I'm finally in the place

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Speaker 2: I want to be with my career. Everything felt great.

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Speaker 2: I was married and just happy. Everything's coming up, Dana.

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Speaker 2: It just felt on point. Everything felt correct, and then

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Speaker 2: my Saturn return hit. Some shit went down. I had

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Speaker 2: injured my back from going too hard at Disney World

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Speaker 2: and Universal Studios of Florida. You know, sometimes you go

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Speaker 2: too hard at Universal Studios and Disney World and you

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Speaker 2: wear those awful sketcher shape ups. Those messed up my back, y'all.

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Speaker 2: So I had a bad back. I was on painkillers

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Speaker 2: for those and kind of tapering off, and I just

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Speaker 2: remembered being really hazy. So this was probably start of

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Speaker 2: April twenty twelve. I just remembered being really hazy, and

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Speaker 2: I just chalked it up too. I got those I

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Speaker 2: got those painkillers. There was a night that I had

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Speaker 2: two drinks and was just feeling fuzzy, and I just

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Speaker 2: thought like, oh, that's funny. I've only had two drinks,

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Speaker 2: like why am I so fuzzy? I remember laying on

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Speaker 2: this meat wad bean bag that we used to have

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Speaker 2: in our condo, and I couldn't tell my body to

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Speaker 2: get up. I just remembered like laying and being like, hey,

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Speaker 2: get a body, and body was like, no, we're good.

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Speaker 2: This is fine. Which when you tell your body to

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Speaker 2: do something, even if it's like hey, just wave your arm, okay,

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Speaker 2: and it does it. Okay. We have work in communication,

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Speaker 2: but I just felt like the communication wasn't working, and

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Speaker 2: I was like, oh, that's interesting. I didn't take those

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Speaker 2: weird painkillers and I'm still hazy. So I was trying

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Speaker 2: to relay the story the next day at work, and

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Speaker 2: when I was like, oh, it's so funny, I couldn't Wow.

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Speaker 2: I just couldn't get up from this band bag. I

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Speaker 2: was trying to say that, but my voice started to

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Speaker 2: do this, So I was speaking with this stilted robot,

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Speaker 2: stuttering almost to where I knew what I wanted to say,

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Speaker 2: but it wouldn't come out. So when we talk about

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Speaker 2: the brain, sometimes it's word finding. I don't know the word.

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Speaker 2: I want to say, what's the word. Oh, But for me,

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Speaker 2: it was the actual packaging and distribution of the word.

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Speaker 2: I had the words and knew exactly what they were,

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Speaker 2: but couldn't get them out of my mouth. My mouth

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Speaker 2: was like, nope, we're good. We don't need to we

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Speaker 2: don't need to say those. That was frightening. I called.

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Speaker 2: I remember calling my doctor and my doctor was like,

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Speaker 2: you're having a stroke, and I was like, what, I'm

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Speaker 2: having a stroke. So I'm freaked out. And then that

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Speaker 2: was what spawned my husband at the time and I

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Speaker 2: going to the emergency room of like, I guess I'm

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Speaker 2: having a stroke. I don't know, and then that adds

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Speaker 2: more stress, and when your brain's not functioning well, I

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Speaker 2: got to tell you that stress doesn't help it. I

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Speaker 2: was just like I felt not quite catatonic, but I

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Speaker 2: was definitely just in a daze of like I don't

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Speaker 2: know which way is up, and I don't know I

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Speaker 2: don't know what my baseline is anymore because this is

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Speaker 2: so stressful. When everything was happening, and I realized that

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Speaker 2: I couldn't I couldn't speak correctly, that the words were

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Speaker 2: coming out weird or not coming out at all, my

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Speaker 2: first neurologist diagnosed it as language seizures, and I was

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Speaker 2: trying to tell him things I did at my job,

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Speaker 2: and I was like, yeah, I write and I produce,

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Speaker 2: but I also, you know, sometimes I'll get on the

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Speaker 2: mic and I sing and do all this stuff, and

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Speaker 2: he was like, you might want to you might want

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Speaker 2: to not do that, and hearing those words having somebody

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Speaker 2: else tell me that it's not my choice was really hard.

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Speaker 2: So having another person say like, yeah, you know, I

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Speaker 2: know you occasionally do voices on aquitine, hunger fors and squidbillies,

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Speaker 2: but maybe don't. And I felt like, oh, we have

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Speaker 2: to keep this between us was what I felt like, like, oh,

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Speaker 2: we can't tell everybody that I have to stop was

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Speaker 2: part of my processing there. And I also noticed that

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Speaker 2: certain words were hard to say, very emotional words hard

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Speaker 2: to say. Being on Mike was such a big part

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Speaker 2: of where I wanted to be. I wanted to be

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Speaker 2: doing more voice work. I wanted to be speaking more

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Speaker 2: on Mike. I wanted to be performing more. We were

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Speaker 2: trying to record an album. I wanted to be on

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Speaker 2: stage and be able to speak and be able to

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Speaker 2: communicate clearly through speaking. But then also whenever I had

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Speaker 2: to produce something, being able to be like, hey, this

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Speaker 2: is me and this is what we're doing, and just

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Speaker 2: even that thing of like, hey, I'm the person in

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Speaker 2: the room to look at, here's what's happening. Okay. I

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Speaker 2: felt like I was being faced with death, death, and

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Speaker 2: then the death of who I was. So as far

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Speaker 2: as it being a long term life change, I think

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Speaker 2: I was just trying to get through the next piece.

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Speaker 2: So Okay, go see this doctor. Okay, now try this. Okay,

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Speaker 2: now try this. Okay, now go to Houston. Okay, now

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Speaker 2: schedule surgery. Okay, now have surgery. I think it wasn't

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Speaker 2: until after surgery that the life change sunk in. Is

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Speaker 2: just felt like what do you mean? What do you mean?

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Speaker 2: I have to take a lot of naps. But recovery

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Speaker 2: is its own journey and everybody goes in different phases

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Speaker 2: with that. But it was a long road to get

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Speaker 2: to where I am today, which is I'll never be

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Speaker 2: the person I was when I was thirty. That was

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Speaker 2: a different person. I'm this person now and I like

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Speaker 2: this person and that was its own journey too, of like, oh,

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Speaker 2: I have to forgive that and I have to like

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Speaker 2: who I am now and see the good things that

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Speaker 2: I've done in the past twelve years that are different

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Speaker 2: as far as that realization setting in of oh, things

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Speaker 2: are going to be different. Now you're kind of just

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Speaker 2: trying to keep your head above water until there's this quiet.

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Speaker 2: It's like when we're go go, go, go go, and

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Speaker 2: you know, maybe we're working or at a convention or something,

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Speaker 2: and it's go, go, go, go go, and then we

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Speaker 2: get sick right after because your body finally has time

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Speaker 2: to let everything catch up. It's like we put everything

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Speaker 2: off of the adrenaline. Puts it off, puts it off,

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Speaker 2: puts it off. So I feel like that that realization

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Speaker 2: didn't set in until maybe after because I was so

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Speaker 2: concerned about, well, I might not be here, So dealing

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Speaker 2: with that of Okay, what happens if I'm not here?

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Speaker 2: Number two, what happens if I can't function? The recovery

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Speaker 2: process of having an eight hour brain surgery. So my

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Speaker 2: surgery was done on what was called an MRI suite.

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Speaker 2: I was on one of eight in the country where

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Speaker 2: they're using an MRI to find where your issue is,

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Speaker 2: and that's where they discovered I had a neuronal neoplasm

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Speaker 2: and rare are air brain too, where they have no

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Speaker 2: idea how it behaves. But it's chill so far. So

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Speaker 2: I'm on that tip. I still have some in there.

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Speaker 2: So that also was part of it, was I wake

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Speaker 2: up from this surgery and you're high in anesthesia, y'all.

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Speaker 2: Like anesthesia is its own thing. People breakdance, people do

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Speaker 2: weird stuff. But I remember looking like Toad from the

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Speaker 2: Mario Brothers. They put you in this giant it's it's

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Speaker 2: a turban, but it's like a very pronounced turban, so

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Speaker 2: it's not like, oh, it's like this nice turban and

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Speaker 2: it's it, you know, looks like something you'd see somebody wearing.

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Speaker 2: Now this is its own thing where it's like extra gauze.

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Speaker 2: It's just it's large. It's a large turban. And I

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Speaker 2: had that on and I remember looking up and seeing

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Speaker 2: my partner and just like I he told me that

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Speaker 2: I made out with him, which is like my mom's

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Speaker 2: there and he is there, and I'm like, oh, like

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Speaker 2: just gross, gross tongue out in front of my mom,

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Speaker 2: Like not cool, not cool, But like it's so hard

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Speaker 2: because you can like sit there and tell yourself, hey,

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Speaker 2: when you wake up, you might be an asshole, like

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Speaker 2: you could do that, but you just you have no

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Speaker 2: function when you wake up. Okay, so brain surgery is wild.

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Speaker 2: They the day after they make you get up and

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Speaker 2: walk around part of the deal. So I was doing

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Speaker 2: laps and part of like one of our landmarks was

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Speaker 2: what we called puppy corner because there was like a

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Speaker 2: little puppy puzzle that somebody was doing and so we're like, hey,

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Speaker 2: it made it past puppy corner. Keep going. They have

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Speaker 2: you up and walking because they want to make sure

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Speaker 2: that your mobility is still in check and that nothing

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Speaker 2: is off that way, so check that. Let's see they oh,

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Speaker 2: day I think I might have been day three. They

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Speaker 2: took the bandage off and then you kind of see like, okay,

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Speaker 2: I have this giant head scar, which I thought it

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Speaker 2: might just be this little when I my hairdresser was like, oh,

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Speaker 2: I know somebody had brain surgery. It was just like

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Speaker 2: this a little like made that little noise and like

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Speaker 2: it's what she was showing me was it was like

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Speaker 2: a tiny, little, maybe centimeter scar in the back of

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Speaker 2: her head. And I was like, that's what I'm going

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Speaker 2: to have. And I remembered my sitting with my surgeon

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Speaker 2: and I just felt his finger or start from the

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Speaker 2: top of my forehead, so right where a widow's peak

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Speaker 2: would be, and then drawing all on the side down

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Speaker 2: by my ear, and I was like, girl, that is

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Speaker 2: a seven inch train. That is much larger than what

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Speaker 2: my hairdresser would refer to as like it was much larger.

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Speaker 2: So even just like that of like having to see

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Speaker 2: the scar, there's all these staples, it's very it's your face.

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Speaker 2: So then you're like, my face is different, even my

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Speaker 2: hair is different. The whole thing's different. But it's I'm

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Speaker 2: alive and that's working. So I have this giant head

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Speaker 2: scar and for the first week or two, they don't

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Speaker 2: let you wash it yourself. You have to have somebody

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Speaker 2: else wash around it because they don't want the staples

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Speaker 2: getting wet. It's a whole thing. So I remember my

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Speaker 2: nurse being like, you get to go to the beauty

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Speaker 2: parlor today. And for those of us who are assigned

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Speaker 2: female at birth, it can be like oh wow, yay,

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Speaker 2: like that might be something we grew up with and

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Speaker 2: that's exciting and or people want you to be excited

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Speaker 2: about it. So I just remembered being like, okay, cool,

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Speaker 2: let's do that. So we go down and it smelled

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Speaker 2: horrific because of just my nose is so sensitive and

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Speaker 2: I'm just smelling shampoo and conditioner. And I don't think

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Speaker 2: they had nail polish there, but it smelled like they

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Speaker 2: probably should have. But it was so strong, all these

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Speaker 2: things that seemed so innocuous. When your old factory nerve

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Speaker 2: is pissed off, all of a sudden become your world

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Speaker 2: of this is so disgusting, Like this is so gross.

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Speaker 2: When when is this over? I remember telling a friend

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Speaker 2: of mine that being in the hospital it's war, and

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Speaker 2: surgery was war. That's how I felt about it. And yeah,

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Speaker 2: I remember that being a tough part of recovery, of

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Speaker 2: just being in the hospital, my days of being in

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Speaker 2: the hospital, and I remember telling people it's war. Being

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Speaker 2: in the hospital is war, which is not, but that's

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Speaker 2: that's what it felt like. So then getting home, something

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Speaker 2: they didn't tell me until after surgery was hey, you

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Speaker 2: can't lift more than five pounds right now, so don't

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Speaker 2: do that. For three weeks, we had friends come and

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Speaker 2: feed the cats if my partner was at work, because

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Speaker 2: I was so afraid of tripping over them. They were sharks, man,

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Speaker 2: they just want to get underfoot. I was really tired.

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Speaker 2: I just remember being really tired for a long time.

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Speaker 2: I tried to I was so bored that I went

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Speaker 2: back to work earlier then I needed to. They gave

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Speaker 2: me six weeks off. That was what my surgeon said,

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Speaker 2: was you can take six weeks off. And I was

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Speaker 2: just so ready to get back to what I knew

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Speaker 2: that I was like three and a half weeks, let's go.

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Speaker 2: I remember we were eager to get back on recording

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Speaker 2: and making stuff for this album that a friend came

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Speaker 2: in to record and I was engineering in the vo booth,

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Speaker 2: and I just remembered being like, I have to nap now,

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Speaker 2: I am done, and falling asleep at the computer, like

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Speaker 2: I hope we got that. Having a brain tumor, having

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Speaker 2: surgery recovery, the recovery from all that just taught me

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Speaker 2: how to slow down and how to be okay with

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Speaker 2: slowing down. And I still feel like that took me

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Speaker 2: years of being okay with slowing down. I eventually got

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Speaker 2: to where my energy levels are good. I'm in a

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Speaker 2: much better spot with it now. I still have side

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Speaker 2: effects from tumor from surgery. I'm a different person. I

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Speaker 2: feel like I used to be this very loud, lively,

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Speaker 2: goofy person, and that would just be quick, like I'm

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Speaker 2: gonna jump on what you're gonna say. We're gonna like

318
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Speaker 2: riff and have a good time, very playful, and I

319
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Speaker 2: felt like I had to learn a new way to play.

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Speaker 2: I had to learn all about food sens activities. And

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Speaker 2: I worked with a naturopath group for a while and

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Speaker 2: loved it. I found really wonderful community through it. But

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Speaker 2: then the hard thing is people go, and then you

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Speaker 2: have survivor's guilt of why did this person pass and

325
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Speaker 2: not me. That's a piece of recovery that I don't

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Speaker 2: even know how to talk about, which is you make

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Speaker 2: friends that are going through something similar, or you coach

328
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Speaker 2: friends of friends that come to you for advice, and

329
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Speaker 2: you support and you provide resources where you can. But

330
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Speaker 2: then when if they don't make it, or their situation

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Speaker 2: doesn't turn out for the best, if they die, or

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00:21:03,119 --> 00:21:08,200
Speaker 2: if they are rendered very different, rendered into a position

333
00:21:08,280 --> 00:21:12,280
Speaker 2: where they're now really not themselves, you have a lot

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00:21:12,320 --> 00:21:23,560
Speaker 2: of guilt. I wanted to start recording and sharing my

335
00:21:23,680 --> 00:21:30,320
Speaker 2: process because I was so terrified of the rumor mill.

336
00:21:30,720 --> 00:21:33,879
Speaker 2: I wanted whatever my journey was, I wanted that to

337
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Speaker 2: come from my mouth. I wanted to be able to

338
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Speaker 2: control the narrative. As some publicists say, I think I

339
00:21:44,160 --> 00:21:48,840
Speaker 2: was dead set on getting the information correct. And also

340
00:21:49,520 --> 00:21:51,280
Speaker 2: for me, I felt that it was easier to do

341
00:21:51,320 --> 00:21:54,680
Speaker 2: that than to like sit twenty people down and tell

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00:21:54,720 --> 00:21:58,600
Speaker 2: them here's what's going on. So I made videos so

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00:21:58,760 --> 00:22:04,360
Speaker 2: I could speak about what my process was as myself.

344
00:22:04,880 --> 00:22:09,240
Speaker 2: And then I also was so tired and so disorganized.

345
00:22:09,320 --> 00:22:12,679
Speaker 2: My thoughts were so disorganized that I wanted to be

346
00:22:12,760 --> 00:22:16,560
Speaker 2: able to put them on video, edit, organize, like here

347
00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:20,280
Speaker 2: it is. It was definitely twofold, and I put it

348
00:22:20,320 --> 00:22:24,320
Speaker 2: on YouTube. I put my first videos on YouTube called

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Speaker 2: Unfortunate Brain News, and I think I entitled the first

350
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Speaker 2: one Unfortunate Brain News number zero zero one because I

351
00:22:31,400 --> 00:22:34,320
Speaker 2: was like, I don't know how long we're going to

352
00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:37,120
Speaker 2: be talking about this, so I kind of just made

353
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Speaker 2: it like this could be one hundred episodes, Like that's

354
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Speaker 2: kind of When I think back to that, I'm like,

355
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Speaker 2: that's really ambitious.

356
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Speaker 3: I was having weird problems Wednesday night. I thought maybe

357
00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:55,520
Speaker 3: I was just drunk. I'm tired, but I couldn't get

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Speaker 3: it from my bean bag chair or tell my husband Chris,

359
00:22:59,600 --> 00:23:01,600
Speaker 3: what was going on. It was a little weird.

360
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Speaker 2: And then I went into work to try to just

361
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Speaker 2: do whatever.

362
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Speaker 3: And I was talking with my boss, who's also one

363
00:23:10,160 --> 00:23:14,439
Speaker 3: of my best friends, and telling him, yes, weird thing happened.

364
00:23:14,440 --> 00:23:19,119
Speaker 3: Maybe I was drunk, and uh, it started happening again.

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Speaker 4: So I went to the emergency room with my husband

366
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Speaker 4: and we were there for seven hours, and it was

367
00:23:28,480 --> 00:23:33,040
Speaker 4: like an episode out of Children's Hospital. After a cat

368
00:23:33,080 --> 00:23:36,520
Speaker 4: scan in an MRI, they found a spot in the

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00:23:36,560 --> 00:23:39,720
Speaker 4: same place. I don't have a picture to show you

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Speaker 4: in this episode, but it's.

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Speaker 3: Behind my cave man lobe. There's a little spot behind

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Speaker 3: my sonus cave man lobe when they discharged me.

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Speaker 2: A piece I didn't expect was finding community through it

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Speaker 2: and finding other people who were like, hey, I found

375
00:24:01,840 --> 00:24:05,240
Speaker 2: your videos. Come into this group. It was so nice

376
00:24:05,240 --> 00:24:08,280
Speaker 2: to be able to find other people going through similar stuff.

377
00:24:09,160 --> 00:24:11,080
Speaker 2: I tried to make them funny, because that's just my

378
00:24:11,200 --> 00:24:14,919
Speaker 2: nature is how do I find the balance between silly

379
00:24:14,960 --> 00:24:18,920
Speaker 2: and serious, because there's this very serious thing that's happening

380
00:24:18,960 --> 00:24:22,240
Speaker 2: to me, and I would get real serious on those.

381
00:24:22,840 --> 00:24:26,000
Speaker 2: But I also wanted everybody to know that my sense

382
00:24:26,040 --> 00:24:29,720
Speaker 2: of humor is still here and I'm still intact, and

383
00:24:29,760 --> 00:24:32,520
Speaker 2: there was I think a big part of my identity.

384
00:24:33,680 --> 00:24:37,920
Speaker 2: I remember the most important thing I ever read. It

385
00:24:38,080 --> 00:24:40,760
Speaker 2: was a comment there was something to the effect of

386
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Speaker 2: my son has a brain tumor. I'm up all night

387
00:24:46,920 --> 00:24:50,640
Speaker 2: trying to find resources and information and your videos made

388
00:24:50,680 --> 00:24:56,200
Speaker 2: me laugh. Thank you, And I was like, if nothing

389
00:24:56,280 --> 00:25:04,639
Speaker 2: else comes out of these that felt so important, and

390
00:25:04,680 --> 00:25:07,800
Speaker 2: it felt like, Okay, this is bigger than me, these

391
00:25:07,920 --> 00:25:12,919
Speaker 2: videos are bigger than me. I felt really driven by that,

392
00:25:14,080 --> 00:25:18,200
Speaker 2: and it also made me realize whenever I was doing

393
00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:20,840
Speaker 2: it gave me a lot of purpose. Because if I

394
00:25:20,880 --> 00:25:23,320
Speaker 2: was doing something in my life or working on something

395
00:25:23,359 --> 00:25:26,639
Speaker 2: and I'm like, listen, nothing's gonna does this top that comment?

396
00:25:26,720 --> 00:25:30,560
Speaker 2: Like does this top somebody finding a place to rest

397
00:25:31,119 --> 00:25:35,920
Speaker 2: after having a really awful day of trying to research

398
00:25:35,960 --> 00:25:39,840
Speaker 2: what's going on with their child? That really fuels me. Now,

399
00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:43,399
Speaker 2: that feeling and that purpose have fueled me in a

400
00:25:43,400 --> 00:25:53,160
Speaker 2: new way, and I love it. I'm a very intuitive person.

401
00:25:53,200 --> 00:25:57,400
Speaker 2: I'm a very spiritual person, and when I moved to La,

402
00:25:58,040 --> 00:26:02,520
Speaker 2: another series of events led me to become an intuitive reader.

403
00:26:02,840 --> 00:26:07,600
Speaker 2: I'm a medium, akashak record reader, I do the cards

404
00:26:07,600 --> 00:26:09,080
Speaker 2: to do it all. I do a lot of channeling.

405
00:26:09,520 --> 00:26:13,119
Speaker 2: Part of it is I realize, oh my god, so

406
00:26:13,160 --> 00:26:15,920
Speaker 2: many people, so many people are afraid of intuitive work

407
00:26:15,920 --> 00:26:17,480
Speaker 2: because they're like, oh, what a scam. It's a scam.

408
00:26:17,480 --> 00:26:20,200
Speaker 2: It's a scam. And then you're like, you know what's

409
00:26:20,200 --> 00:26:26,560
Speaker 2: a scam? Mlfs, this is a scam. So I try

410
00:26:26,600 --> 00:26:30,480
Speaker 2: to make things as affordable as possible with what I do,

411
00:26:30,640 --> 00:26:33,440
Speaker 2: and if someone's just looking for answers, you just realize

412
00:26:33,520 --> 00:26:36,399
Speaker 2: how tough it is. Especially I think I work with

413
00:26:36,400 --> 00:26:39,679
Speaker 2: a lot of people that have animals. You're gonna get

414
00:26:39,680 --> 00:26:42,400
Speaker 2: the five hundred dollars diagnosis, so you're gonna go spend

415
00:26:42,440 --> 00:26:44,720
Speaker 2: thousands of dollars on stuff. So part of what I

416
00:26:44,760 --> 00:26:46,160
Speaker 2: do is like, all right, what do you actually need

417
00:26:46,200 --> 00:26:48,400
Speaker 2: to do? What needs to happen here? What's the deal?

418
00:26:48,600 --> 00:26:54,480
Speaker 2: So I definitely try to help people figure out if

419
00:26:54,480 --> 00:26:57,359
Speaker 2: they need to spend five grand on a course or

420
00:26:57,440 --> 00:27:00,879
Speaker 2: on something for their pet because of that, as of like,

421
00:27:01,080 --> 00:27:03,840
Speaker 2: I'm so desperate, what do I need to be doing.

422
00:27:06,640 --> 00:27:09,359
Speaker 2: I was a senior writer, producer. I was a super

423
00:27:09,359 --> 00:27:13,159
Speaker 2: creative person, constantly every year getting a little better with

424
00:27:13,200 --> 00:27:17,760
Speaker 2: my health. Which was very exciting. So my partner and

425
00:27:17,800 --> 00:27:20,320
Speaker 2: I were kind of hitting a like, I don't know,

426
00:27:20,400 --> 00:27:22,320
Speaker 2: I don't know if this works, Like we're we're hitting

427
00:27:22,359 --> 00:27:26,600
Speaker 2: that and nothing wrong with it. Just sometimes two people

428
00:27:26,720 --> 00:27:29,160
Speaker 2: grow apart, and it was that part was super hard

429
00:27:29,200 --> 00:27:32,479
Speaker 2: for me, not only because he's a great person, but

430
00:27:32,520 --> 00:27:37,360
Speaker 2: also I felt so indebted to him. It was wonderful.

431
00:27:37,400 --> 00:27:39,240
Speaker 2: It was so nice to have somebody. So you have

432
00:27:39,280 --> 00:27:41,399
Speaker 2: that piece and then you're like, oh am I gonna

433
00:27:41,440 --> 00:27:44,199
Speaker 2: find anybody ever again, who's gonna put up with my

434
00:27:44,840 --> 00:27:48,919
Speaker 2: with my soup of what my brain is doing, and

435
00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:53,200
Speaker 2: that risk of I don't know. I might have twenty

436
00:27:53,200 --> 00:27:54,840
Speaker 2: more years, I might have thirty more years, I might

437
00:27:54,920 --> 00:27:56,679
Speaker 2: have two months. I don't know, like of having that,

438
00:27:56,760 --> 00:27:59,080
Speaker 2: I don't know what my brain's gonna do. I need

439
00:27:59,119 --> 00:28:00,800
Speaker 2: to I need to see what else is out there.

440
00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:06,040
Speaker 2: I got to try something else. That's terrifying. Moving to

441
00:28:06,040 --> 00:28:11,280
Speaker 2: another cities terrifying. I lived in Georgia for thirty seven years.

442
00:28:11,720 --> 00:28:15,080
Speaker 2: I had a wonderful job. I lived in the same

443
00:28:15,119 --> 00:28:18,399
Speaker 2: state as my mom. It was just that thing of like,

444
00:28:18,520 --> 00:28:20,880
Speaker 2: uh oh, buddy, I just felt this pull of it's

445
00:28:20,920 --> 00:28:25,600
Speaker 2: time to move. So I moved from Atlanta to Los

446
00:28:25,640 --> 00:28:29,960
Speaker 2: Angeles March twenty nineteen. I decide, I'm going to give

447
00:28:29,960 --> 00:28:32,000
Speaker 2: myself a year to kind of see what it's like

448
00:28:32,040 --> 00:28:36,120
Speaker 2: to be freelance. I'd also for most of my adult life,

449
00:28:36,480 --> 00:28:39,080
Speaker 2: I'd had a career. I had had a corporate job

450
00:28:39,160 --> 00:28:43,680
Speaker 2: that afforded me amazing health insurance, and I was getting

451
00:28:43,680 --> 00:28:46,280
Speaker 2: a paycheck. So then all of a sudden, Uh, oh,

452
00:28:46,320 --> 00:28:48,479
Speaker 2: I'm going to a new state. I don't know if

453
00:28:48,480 --> 00:28:50,560
Speaker 2: I'm going to get health insurance. I don't know if

454
00:28:50,560 --> 00:28:52,040
Speaker 2: I'm going to have a paycheck. I don't know how

455
00:28:52,040 --> 00:28:55,480
Speaker 2: this is all going to work. Was terrifying, Absolutely terrifying.

456
00:28:57,520 --> 00:28:59,880
Speaker 2: Had a childhood friend reach out and just like in

457
00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:04,320
Speaker 2: insist on reading for me, and I was like, okay, cool, yeah, buddy,

458
00:29:04,480 --> 00:29:08,840
Speaker 2: Like let's do it. She sits me down. I'm like, oh,

459
00:29:08,920 --> 00:29:10,920
Speaker 2: I'm so excited to see her, and talked in a while.

460
00:29:10,960 --> 00:29:14,760
Speaker 2: She's in Atlanta, I'm here in Los Angeles and we're

461
00:29:14,800 --> 00:29:20,560
Speaker 2: talking over FaceTime. She's like, sit down, and then she

462
00:29:21,200 --> 00:29:25,840
Speaker 2: proceeds to read me a three page letter from a

463
00:29:25,880 --> 00:29:33,440
Speaker 2: spirit who basically was telling me things I said at

464
00:29:33,480 --> 00:29:38,040
Speaker 2: my dad's grave. So it's probably my dad, and it

465
00:29:38,280 --> 00:29:40,719
Speaker 2: was it was wild. It was this whole thing of

466
00:29:42,360 --> 00:29:45,000
Speaker 2: I just felt like, oh my god. I had avoided

467
00:29:45,040 --> 00:29:47,560
Speaker 2: talking to my dad through readings because I think I

468
00:29:47,560 --> 00:29:49,320
Speaker 2: had when I was a kid, and just it was

469
00:29:49,400 --> 00:29:53,240
Speaker 2: so generic that I I was like this, I don't

470
00:29:53,240 --> 00:29:54,600
Speaker 2: know if that's my dad, Like I don't know, I

471
00:29:54,600 --> 00:29:57,280
Speaker 2: don't know, And so I just avoided it because it

472
00:29:57,320 --> 00:30:02,080
Speaker 2: made me upset. So oh, this was just like boom,

473
00:30:02,600 --> 00:30:10,880
Speaker 2: I'm here, by the way, you can do this. I

474
00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:13,280
Speaker 2: was like, I haven't heard from my dad since I

475
00:30:13,320 --> 00:30:15,560
Speaker 2: was fourteen, Like, yeah, let's go. At the time it

476
00:30:15,600 --> 00:30:18,440
Speaker 2: was twenty four years. I was like, I, yeah, how

477
00:30:18,440 --> 00:30:22,600
Speaker 2: do I talk to my dad? I got obsessed with

478
00:30:23,320 --> 00:30:26,360
Speaker 2: how do I how do I channel? How do I

479
00:30:26,400 --> 00:30:28,400
Speaker 2: talk to spirits? Like what are the gifts? What are

480
00:30:28,400 --> 00:30:32,040
Speaker 2: my psychic gifts? Like how does this all work? I

481
00:30:32,080 --> 00:30:34,520
Speaker 2: took a lot of classes, I practiced a lot I

482
00:30:34,720 --> 00:30:38,480
Speaker 2: and then I did a program where I actually started

483
00:30:38,480 --> 00:30:39,960
Speaker 2: reading for people. I was just going to write a

484
00:30:39,960 --> 00:30:41,880
Speaker 2: script with my dad and call that it like we

485
00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:44,880
Speaker 2: did it, we write a script. That's fun. But instead

486
00:30:45,040 --> 00:30:52,720
Speaker 2: I wound up reading for people. The hook for me was, oh,

487
00:30:52,800 --> 00:30:55,080
Speaker 2: here's the thing you want to be doing. What do

488
00:30:55,080 --> 00:30:57,160
Speaker 2: you need to do to get it to happen? How

489
00:30:57,200 --> 00:31:03,400
Speaker 2: do I take this work which is very, very otherworldly

490
00:31:03,480 --> 00:31:06,240
Speaker 2: and then like bring it down to what you're going

491
00:31:06,280 --> 00:31:11,720
Speaker 2: through right now. I also really love teaching people how

492
00:31:11,760 --> 00:31:14,880
Speaker 2: to use their own gifts, because everyone's got them. I

493
00:31:14,920 --> 00:31:18,040
Speaker 2: think everybody goes through stuff we don't know about. So

494
00:31:18,600 --> 00:31:20,640
Speaker 2: I'm in a city where people kind of have reintroduced

495
00:31:20,680 --> 00:31:22,480
Speaker 2: themselves a lot, like you don't know my past life.

496
00:31:22,480 --> 00:31:23,760
Speaker 2: You don't know who I am, Like you don't know

497
00:31:24,040 --> 00:31:25,520
Speaker 2: past life in the sense of like I had a

498
00:31:25,560 --> 00:31:28,680
Speaker 2: career well before this and a life and friends before this,

499
00:31:29,240 --> 00:31:32,480
Speaker 2: and so you're meeting me today now. I think everybody

500
00:31:32,560 --> 00:31:35,960
Speaker 2: has stuff like that in their previous, previous work, previous

501
00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:39,200
Speaker 2: whoever they were. Even if you're twenty and your elementary

502
00:31:39,200 --> 00:31:42,600
Speaker 2: school friends remember you way differently than your high school

503
00:31:42,640 --> 00:31:44,600
Speaker 2: and college friends. Like even if you're even if you're

504
00:31:44,640 --> 00:31:47,760
Speaker 2: young and you're listening to this, everybody knows us from

505
00:31:47,760 --> 00:31:50,920
Speaker 2: different worlds. So for me, it's part of it's like, yeah,

506
00:31:51,040 --> 00:31:53,160
Speaker 2: this is my different world is I think of it

507
00:31:53,160 --> 00:31:54,680
Speaker 2: that way. But it also gives me a lot of

508
00:31:55,960 --> 00:31:59,720
Speaker 2: empathy for everybody's gone through something we don't know about.

509
00:32:00,680 --> 00:32:03,680
Speaker 2: I have people that I know now that find out

510
00:32:03,760 --> 00:32:06,760
Speaker 2: about my brain surgery and they're like, what are you

511
00:32:06,800 --> 00:32:12,560
Speaker 2: talking about? So it's that that's a big piece for me,

512
00:32:12,680 --> 00:32:15,520
Speaker 2: is like you just don't know what somebody's gone through.

513
00:32:15,560 --> 00:32:20,160
Speaker 2: You have no idea. And same with losing my dad

514
00:32:20,200 --> 00:32:22,400
Speaker 2: at a young age. I don't know. I don't know

515
00:32:22,400 --> 00:32:25,040
Speaker 2: who's gone through that. I don't know who's gone through,

516
00:32:26,160 --> 00:32:29,800
Speaker 2: what kind of losses or what kind of situations people

517
00:32:29,840 --> 00:32:34,600
Speaker 2: have done. And so it reminds me to always keep

518
00:32:35,600 --> 00:32:38,360
Speaker 2: that door open to like, there's something else to this person,

519
00:32:38,400 --> 00:32:41,360
Speaker 2: There's something else in their life, There's something hard they

520
00:32:41,360 --> 00:32:46,480
Speaker 2: had to do. Because we're humans, we all have battle scars,

521
00:32:46,520 --> 00:32:48,160
Speaker 2: like we all have things that we've had to do.

522
00:32:48,240 --> 00:32:52,200
Speaker 2: They are hard, and if you haven't, then I'm waiting

523
00:32:52,200 --> 00:32:59,760
Speaker 2: for it to happen to you. I think that being

524
00:32:59,800 --> 00:33:02,880
Speaker 2: kee in as a mixture of free will and fate,

525
00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:06,760
Speaker 2: and if it ain't, I don't want to.

526
00:33:33,120 --> 00:33:35,480
Speaker 1: Welcome back. This is a Live again joining me for

527
00:33:35,520 --> 00:33:38,760
Speaker 1: a conversation about today's story or my other alive again story.

528
00:33:38,760 --> 00:33:43,240
Speaker 1: Producers Lauren Vogelbaum, Nicholas Dakowski, and Brent Dye and I'm

529
00:33:43,240 --> 00:33:45,680
Speaker 1: your host, Dan Bush.

530
00:33:45,760 --> 00:33:46,440
Speaker 5: All Right, this is.

531
00:33:46,520 --> 00:33:48,840
Speaker 1: Dan Bush and I'm in the studio with Lauren Vogelbaum,

532
00:33:49,040 --> 00:33:52,640
Speaker 1: Brent Dye, and our story producer for Today, Nicholas Dakowski.

533
00:33:53,040 --> 00:33:56,800
Speaker 5: Hi, I'm Nicholas Dakowski. I'm our story producer.

534
00:33:58,640 --> 00:33:59,480
Speaker 1: Let's talk about Dana.

535
00:33:59,760 --> 00:34:02,880
Speaker 5: Yeah, Data, I have known for years. They are one

536
00:34:02,920 --> 00:34:08,040
Speaker 5: of the funniest people I've ever met. They have always

537
00:34:08,040 --> 00:34:11,680
Speaker 5: been really quick on the uptake, really charming. They make

538
00:34:12,000 --> 00:34:17,960
Speaker 5: weird art. They are They've produced for Adult Swim for

539
00:34:18,000 --> 00:34:20,160
Speaker 5: a number of years. They are the voice of Sarah

540
00:34:20,200 --> 00:34:25,879
Speaker 5: and Tunami. They're like really well established artists. And years

541
00:34:25,880 --> 00:34:29,120
Speaker 5: and years ago, as I was just kind of first

542
00:34:29,200 --> 00:34:33,799
Speaker 5: getting to know Dana, they went through this thing and

543
00:34:33,800 --> 00:34:35,880
Speaker 5: all of a sudden, there were these videos called weird

544
00:34:35,920 --> 00:34:38,920
Speaker 5: brain News kind of pumping out, and I was aware

545
00:34:38,920 --> 00:34:41,440
Speaker 5: of those at the time. I watched a handful. This

546
00:34:41,480 --> 00:34:44,399
Speaker 5: wasn't a person I knew particularly well, but they were

547
00:34:44,440 --> 00:34:48,280
Speaker 5: talking about this thing in this incredibly charming, very open,

548
00:34:48,440 --> 00:34:52,360
Speaker 5: honest kind of way. And we're also really really fucking funny,

549
00:34:52,920 --> 00:34:58,880
Speaker 5: just really funny. And Yeah, when we first started reaching

550
00:34:58,920 --> 00:35:01,920
Speaker 5: out to people for this show, the first person I

551
00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:06,239
Speaker 5: thought of was Dana. This was my very first interview

552
00:35:06,719 --> 00:35:11,160
Speaker 5: and it was easy peasy. It was just like, here's

553
00:35:11,160 --> 00:35:15,400
Speaker 5: this person who has a really great grasp on this

554
00:35:15,440 --> 00:35:20,480
Speaker 5: thing that happened to them, and uh yeah, and they

555
00:35:20,600 --> 00:35:22,319
Speaker 5: just tell it really, really well. It's a very It

556
00:35:22,360 --> 00:35:25,479
Speaker 5: was a very just as a producer who's never done

557
00:35:25,480 --> 00:35:28,200
Speaker 5: this kind of thing before, it was like a gimme.

558
00:35:28,880 --> 00:35:31,000
Speaker 6: I mean, it's pretty cool to make your first interview

559
00:35:31,200 --> 00:35:32,640
Speaker 6: someone who is a storyteller.

560
00:35:32,800 --> 00:35:34,719
Speaker 5: Oh my god, I mean, yeah, good looking out and

561
00:35:34,840 --> 00:35:39,399
Speaker 5: listen the amount of the amount of just like incredible

562
00:35:39,480 --> 00:35:42,760
Speaker 5: jokes that I had to cut to streamline the story

563
00:35:43,160 --> 00:35:45,600
Speaker 5: because the initial interview was like an hour and a half.

564
00:35:46,760 --> 00:35:49,200
Speaker 1: I want to hear more about the Unfortunate Brain News

565
00:35:49,239 --> 00:35:50,879
Speaker 1: because I haven't. I've never heard that.

566
00:35:51,000 --> 00:35:55,960
Speaker 5: It started as a way to tell friends and family

567
00:35:56,800 --> 00:35:59,799
Speaker 5: in one go what was going on. You know, when

568
00:35:59,840 --> 00:36:02,799
Speaker 5: something really bad happens to you, Uh.

569
00:36:03,719 --> 00:36:07,000
Speaker 6: Right, numbers you have to make is exhausting.

570
00:36:06,640 --> 00:36:12,040
Speaker 5: Like going like you're you know, going through divorce or

571
00:36:12,080 --> 00:36:15,000
Speaker 5: a death in the family. Everybody wants to talk to you.

572
00:36:15,600 --> 00:36:18,080
Speaker 5: Everybody wants to talk to you, everybody wants to hear

573
00:36:18,120 --> 00:36:21,080
Speaker 5: the story and you reach a point, like a saturation

574
00:36:21,239 --> 00:36:26,799
Speaker 5: point real ely on with that. And so Dana, who

575
00:36:27,800 --> 00:36:30,800
Speaker 5: is a voiceover artist and a writer and a producer,

576
00:36:31,040 --> 00:36:33,240
Speaker 5: was like, well, why don't I just use my skills

577
00:36:33,280 --> 00:36:34,520
Speaker 5: to just put out this.

578
00:36:35,440 --> 00:36:37,920
Speaker 6: You know, you want to hear the story go to you.

579
00:36:39,480 --> 00:36:41,799
Speaker 5: So you'd get you get a text from a friend,

580
00:36:41,880 --> 00:36:45,239
Speaker 5: or you'd get a you'd get a phone call, and

581
00:36:45,280 --> 00:36:48,719
Speaker 5: you would just pass along this information. You know, it's like, hey, here,

582
00:36:48,800 --> 00:36:50,680
Speaker 5: this is what's going on right now, and you post

583
00:36:50,680 --> 00:36:53,960
Speaker 5: it on your social media and and everybody gets to

584
00:36:54,040 --> 00:36:56,120
Speaker 5: kind of see it on mass But it turned into

585
00:36:56,120 --> 00:36:59,040
Speaker 5: this thing that was it started as something for friends

586
00:36:59,040 --> 00:37:03,440
Speaker 5: and family, but other people on YouTube who are looking

587
00:37:03,560 --> 00:37:09,840
Speaker 5: up information about similar problems would find this and start

588
00:37:10,040 --> 00:37:15,680
Speaker 5: following Dana and would and would start reaching out to

589
00:37:15,760 --> 00:37:20,080
Speaker 5: Dana and and sort of forming a little bit of

590
00:37:20,080 --> 00:37:25,319
Speaker 5: a community based around these videos, and Dana gets into

591
00:37:25,320 --> 00:37:28,160
Speaker 5: it some that you know, it was it was a

592
00:37:28,200 --> 00:37:32,319
Speaker 5: blessing to find this community. And also at times, you know,

593
00:37:32,360 --> 00:37:35,480
Speaker 5: there were people that didn't make it, so it was

594
00:37:35,800 --> 00:37:37,719
Speaker 5: there was this bittersweet thing to It's like I get

595
00:37:37,760 --> 00:37:39,880
Speaker 5: to talk about this and I get to commune with

596
00:37:39,920 --> 00:37:43,279
Speaker 5: these people. But I also kind of have to the

597
00:37:43,280 --> 00:37:45,399
Speaker 5: flip side of that is that I meet people who

598
00:37:45,400 --> 00:37:47,560
Speaker 5: aren't going to be around, who aren't going to make it,

599
00:37:47,719 --> 00:37:49,240
Speaker 5: or who aren't going to be the same person.

600
00:37:49,920 --> 00:37:53,840
Speaker 6: I mean, it's it's a heightened version of the human condition.

601
00:37:53,920 --> 00:37:56,160
Speaker 6: I mean, that's the danger in all kinds of connection

602
00:37:56,280 --> 00:37:56,960
Speaker 6: and communication.

603
00:37:57,040 --> 00:37:57,680
Speaker 2: And that's why it.

604
00:37:57,719 --> 00:38:00,360
Speaker 6: Can be so seductive to just want to be like,

605
00:38:00,520 --> 00:38:03,120
Speaker 6: why don't I just sit on my couch and disassociate

606
00:38:03,160 --> 00:38:03,680
Speaker 6: for a while.

607
00:38:03,719 --> 00:38:05,640
Speaker 5: Well, I'm not gonna let people close.

608
00:38:05,920 --> 00:38:06,440
Speaker 4: Yeah.

609
00:38:06,480 --> 00:38:08,680
Speaker 1: So it starts off, so she's trying to control the

610
00:38:08,800 --> 00:38:12,480
Speaker 1: narrative sort of before the rumor, you know, factory starts.

611
00:38:12,520 --> 00:38:14,640
Speaker 1: But then it becomes this thing where she's actually able

612
00:38:14,719 --> 00:38:19,160
Speaker 1: to use her voice to help all these other people. Yeah,

613
00:38:19,160 --> 00:38:24,600
Speaker 1: and and sort of indirectly, her art did what all

614
00:38:24,719 --> 00:38:27,680
Speaker 1: artists most want to ever fucking do, right, which is

615
00:38:27,680 --> 00:38:31,279
Speaker 1: to actually, you know, have an influence over people in

616
00:38:31,320 --> 00:38:33,600
Speaker 1: a positive way or be or you know, be a

617
00:38:34,640 --> 00:38:36,640
Speaker 1: you know, a focal point or a point of reflection

618
00:38:36,719 --> 00:38:38,919
Speaker 1: so that people can then that's just so cool, man.

619
00:38:39,080 --> 00:38:42,160
Speaker 5: Yeah, and coming from a place where they're really scared

620
00:38:42,239 --> 00:38:45,200
Speaker 5: of what the future is going to be and they're

621
00:38:45,200 --> 00:38:47,080
Speaker 5: really scared of whether they're going to.

622
00:38:47,000 --> 00:38:49,560
Speaker 1: Be being honest about that and vulnerable with that.

623
00:38:49,640 --> 00:38:53,400
Speaker 5: And Yeah, I think a lot of artists, or a

624
00:38:53,400 --> 00:38:55,680
Speaker 5: lot of people in general, you know, when they're in

625
00:38:55,760 --> 00:39:00,000
Speaker 5: their worst moments, think like I I've never done anything good,

626
00:39:00,040 --> 00:39:01,840
Speaker 5: I've never been able to like I don't have a

627
00:39:01,880 --> 00:39:03,120
Speaker 5: positive effect on the world.

628
00:39:03,239 --> 00:39:05,040
Speaker 2: What mark have I left?

629
00:39:05,120 --> 00:39:10,080
Speaker 5: But and Dana got to experience this idea that like,

630
00:39:10,600 --> 00:39:14,560
Speaker 5: even these small things that we do can have echoes outward.

631
00:39:15,400 --> 00:39:18,800
Speaker 7: Like it sounds cliche, but even if it's just one person,

632
00:39:18,960 --> 00:39:21,799
Speaker 7: like that comment that woman left. I think if I

633
00:39:21,920 --> 00:39:25,560
Speaker 7: spent my entire life making art and got one comment

634
00:39:25,680 --> 00:39:28,120
Speaker 7: like that, it'd be worth it. You made it easier

635
00:39:28,920 --> 00:39:31,319
Speaker 7: for one persistence made this easier for me.

636
00:39:31,640 --> 00:39:35,080
Speaker 1: Yeah. A film professor told me, like talking about trauma

637
00:39:35,080 --> 00:39:36,960
Speaker 1: and your own experience in your art, you can't make

638
00:39:37,000 --> 00:39:42,520
Speaker 1: it right by making it art, Dan, But in this case, Dana,

639
00:39:42,960 --> 00:39:43,400
Speaker 1: you can't.

640
00:39:43,400 --> 00:39:45,680
Speaker 5: You can't make it right by making it art, but

641
00:39:45,800 --> 00:39:46,920
Speaker 5: you can help other people.

642
00:39:47,000 --> 00:39:47,480
Speaker 1: Yeah.

643
00:39:47,560 --> 00:39:47,840
Speaker 3: Right.

644
00:39:47,880 --> 00:39:53,720
Speaker 5: You know, there's there's a comedian that I follow on

645
00:39:53,719 --> 00:39:59,719
Speaker 5: on Instagram. He is He's got this like really raw grungey,

646
00:40:01,160 --> 00:40:03,760
Speaker 5: like almost nihilistic kind of humor.

647
00:40:04,440 --> 00:40:05,560
Speaker 6: Don't know why you would like that.

648
00:40:05,760 --> 00:40:10,879
Speaker 5: Yeah, I've got a type. But he's somebody that he'll

649
00:40:10,920 --> 00:40:13,680
Speaker 5: just pop up on my Instagram. He's not super famous,

650
00:40:13,960 --> 00:40:17,160
Speaker 5: but he's like established. He'll pop up on my Instagram

651
00:40:17,200 --> 00:40:19,120
Speaker 5: every once in a while and it's just like I'll

652
00:40:19,160 --> 00:40:20,960
Speaker 5: get a good laugh out of it. And sometimes on

653
00:40:21,000 --> 00:40:22,880
Speaker 5: a bad day when you're doom scrolling, you just have

654
00:40:22,960 --> 00:40:26,200
Speaker 5: somebody like make that joke that just like gets you

655
00:40:26,239 --> 00:40:32,279
Speaker 5: in the gut. But he also struggles from severe depression.

656
00:40:32,840 --> 00:40:35,640
Speaker 5: It's very clear because every once in a while he'll

657
00:40:35,640 --> 00:40:39,200
Speaker 5: post a story that's like, what does it fucking matter?

658
00:40:39,680 --> 00:40:41,799
Speaker 5: And every time I see him do that, he does

659
00:40:41,920 --> 00:40:43,759
Speaker 5: Nobi fucking Adam. But every time I see him do

660
00:40:43,800 --> 00:40:45,960
Speaker 5: that has happened two or three times now. I'm like, dude,

661
00:40:46,080 --> 00:40:50,160
Speaker 5: you I know what you're going through because I go

662
00:40:50,200 --> 00:40:50,560
Speaker 5: through it too.

663
00:40:50,800 --> 00:40:51,120
Speaker 1: M m.

664
00:40:52,440 --> 00:40:57,560
Speaker 5: But like, you have given me bursts of relief at

665
00:40:58,560 --> 00:41:02,080
Speaker 5: hard moments, and I want to let you know that,

666
00:41:02,239 --> 00:41:06,400
Speaker 5: like is like, at least I know it's not just me.

667
00:41:06,560 --> 00:41:09,000
Speaker 5: But but if I'm speaking out, you've done this for

668
00:41:09,080 --> 00:41:12,359
Speaker 5: other people. Yeah, yeah, and I think it's I think

669
00:41:12,360 --> 00:41:14,959
Speaker 5: that that's meaningful and I think when something touches you, you

670
00:41:14,920 --> 00:41:18,280
Speaker 5: should reach out. I think that going back to stuff

671
00:41:18,280 --> 00:41:21,440
Speaker 5: that we were speaking about earlier today, we were talking

672
00:41:21,440 --> 00:41:25,120
Speaker 5: about we're talking about how the internet can be dehumanizing.

673
00:41:25,520 --> 00:41:27,480
Speaker 5: We can talk. We were talking about how you can

674
00:41:27,480 --> 00:41:29,320
Speaker 5: see something that pisss you off and you're just gonna

675
00:41:29,719 --> 00:41:31,279
Speaker 5: go at it, You're just gonna tear down.

676
00:41:31,760 --> 00:41:32,759
Speaker 1: But here's the flip side of that.

677
00:41:32,800 --> 00:41:34,719
Speaker 5: But here's a flip side of that. We also have

678
00:41:34,840 --> 00:41:40,680
Speaker 5: the opportunity to use that that tool of what is

679
00:41:40,719 --> 00:41:44,520
Speaker 5: normally a tool of destruction to do something good, to

680
00:41:44,520 --> 00:41:47,880
Speaker 5: touch other people's lives, and when they touch our lives,

681
00:41:47,880 --> 00:41:50,000
Speaker 5: we can we can reach out and say, hey, this

682
00:41:50,120 --> 00:41:52,360
Speaker 5: was important to me. What you do is important to me.

683
00:41:54,680 --> 00:41:54,919
Speaker 2: Yeah.

684
00:41:54,960 --> 00:41:56,840
Speaker 7: But I think it's kind of like Aaron Ralston's story

685
00:41:56,880 --> 00:41:59,880
Speaker 7: where she's speaking from a point of vulnerability and she

686
00:42:00,200 --> 00:42:04,160
Speaker 7: being very real, honest about what she's going through, which

687
00:42:04,719 --> 00:42:07,040
Speaker 7: kind of cuts through the bullshit of And again, you

688
00:42:07,080 --> 00:42:09,680
Speaker 7: can't create those moments, you know what I mean, Like, you.

689
00:42:09,600 --> 00:42:11,640
Speaker 2: Can't not if you're too hard, right.

690
00:42:11,760 --> 00:42:13,520
Speaker 7: It has to come from a real place to connect

691
00:42:13,600 --> 00:42:13,759
Speaker 7: like that.

692
00:42:13,840 --> 00:42:14,040
Speaker 4: Yeah.

693
00:42:14,120 --> 00:42:14,319
Speaker 8: Right.

694
00:42:14,400 --> 00:42:19,040
Speaker 6: It also just speaks to how like on a larger level,

695
00:42:19,239 --> 00:42:21,840
Speaker 6: as we're going about our daily lives, what we do matters,

696
00:42:22,040 --> 00:42:24,919
Speaker 6: you know, like the communications that we put out there,

697
00:42:25,200 --> 00:42:28,280
Speaker 6: the just the way that you move through public space,

698
00:42:28,480 --> 00:42:32,560
Speaker 6: because you never know how what you put out is

699
00:42:32,600 --> 00:42:34,680
Speaker 6: going to affect other people and who is going to

700
00:42:34,719 --> 00:42:39,680
Speaker 6: interact with that, you know, and so if you put good, weird, friendly,

701
00:42:40,600 --> 00:42:44,080
Speaker 6: caring stuff out there, you don't know who needs it.

702
00:42:44,120 --> 00:42:46,000
Speaker 6: But sometimes it finds just the right person at just

703
00:42:46,040 --> 00:42:46,560
Speaker 6: the right time.

704
00:42:46,680 --> 00:42:49,440
Speaker 1: It's funny too, because in this sort of state of

705
00:42:49,520 --> 00:42:53,240
Speaker 1: affairs that we're in right now politically and socio politically happening,

706
00:42:53,320 --> 00:42:55,480
Speaker 1: you know, a lot of us are very scared, and

707
00:42:55,480 --> 00:42:56,960
Speaker 1: a lot of us don't, you know, if the future

708
00:42:57,000 --> 00:43:02,040
Speaker 1: seems uncertain, and sometimes it feels like there's like there's

709
00:43:02,040 --> 00:43:03,880
Speaker 1: no room. We should all be rebellious, we should all

710
00:43:03,880 --> 00:43:05,239
Speaker 1: be in the streets, we should all be fighting, we

711
00:43:05,239 --> 00:43:07,719
Speaker 1: should all be you know, sort of how dare you

712
00:43:07,840 --> 00:43:11,640
Speaker 1: have a joyous moment when others are suffering? But in

713
00:43:11,680 --> 00:43:15,360
Speaker 1: this light what you're saying, Lauren, about what you're putting

714
00:43:15,360 --> 00:43:16,600
Speaker 1: out in the world, it's almost like we have a

715
00:43:16,640 --> 00:43:22,080
Speaker 1: responsibility to you know, not just good vibes only man,

716
00:43:22,120 --> 00:43:24,600
Speaker 1: but like right, but like to be a source of

717
00:43:24,640 --> 00:43:27,640
Speaker 1: authenticity and also to be able to laugh at it

718
00:43:27,719 --> 00:43:29,520
Speaker 1: in some way and to find a light in the

719
00:43:29,560 --> 00:43:31,120
Speaker 1: darkness is so important.

720
00:43:31,800 --> 00:43:35,480
Speaker 5: Honestly, I think that the reason good art comes out

721
00:43:35,520 --> 00:43:42,839
Speaker 5: of adversity is I think because adversity forces you into

722
00:43:42,920 --> 00:43:46,960
Speaker 5: a certain understanding of the human condition. Yeah, and I

723
00:43:47,000 --> 00:43:50,799
Speaker 5: think that I think that you can take good and

724
00:43:50,840 --> 00:43:53,040
Speaker 5: bad things away from that. I think some people allow

725
00:43:53,040 --> 00:43:56,520
Speaker 5: adversity to make them bitter and angry, and I think

726
00:43:56,560 --> 00:43:59,960
Speaker 5: that some people it opens up their lives. It opens

727
00:44:01,200 --> 00:44:03,799
Speaker 5: it opens up the world for them, and it makes

728
00:44:03,840 --> 00:44:06,799
Speaker 5: them feel more grounded and connected to the world. And

729
00:44:06,800 --> 00:44:11,040
Speaker 5: that was clearly something that that Dana, you know, went through.

730
00:44:11,800 --> 00:44:15,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm excited for I will say I I thought about,

731
00:44:15,160 --> 00:44:16,960
Speaker 1: you know, sort of this time period that we're going through.

732
00:44:17,280 --> 00:44:18,560
Speaker 1: I'm sorry to take it back.

733
00:44:18,640 --> 00:44:20,960
Speaker 5: Oh no, no, no, no, all I think about, but.

734
00:44:21,400 --> 00:44:24,040
Speaker 1: I'm like, I kind of have this thought the other day.

735
00:44:24,040 --> 00:44:26,440
Speaker 1: I was like, I bet we're gonna have some really

736
00:44:26,520 --> 00:44:28,640
Speaker 1: fucking good art. I bet there's going to be some

737
00:44:28,719 --> 00:44:31,520
Speaker 1: really interesting new artists that are going to kind of

738
00:44:31,680 --> 00:44:35,239
Speaker 1: rise out of this adversity and some new voices that

739
00:44:35,280 --> 00:44:37,600
Speaker 1: are going to be you know, the next Bob Dylan

740
00:44:37,719 --> 00:44:41,800
Speaker 1: or whatever right is going to come because of because

741
00:44:41,840 --> 00:44:43,000
Speaker 1: of this sea change, you know.

742
00:44:43,239 --> 00:44:45,239
Speaker 7: Nice we got some new politicians out of it.

743
00:44:46,200 --> 00:44:47,920
Speaker 5: Well, gotta have a revolution. First.

744
00:44:50,480 --> 00:44:55,320
Speaker 7: We did get Timothy Chamalat as our new Bob Dylan Shallow.

745
00:45:01,520 --> 00:45:07,879
Speaker 7: I was interested in their whole past life medium reading thing.

746
00:45:09,000 --> 00:45:10,960
Speaker 6: Can I jump in just a tiny bit on that one?

747
00:45:11,160 --> 00:45:11,719
Speaker 2: You take great?

748
00:45:11,880 --> 00:45:13,960
Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, So you've got to think outside of your

749
00:45:13,960 --> 00:45:16,640
Speaker 1: Western box that you've been, you know, imprisoned in Nick.

750
00:45:18,000 --> 00:45:22,480
Speaker 5: I refuse, I refuse to think of anything beyond my experience.

751
00:45:22,960 --> 00:45:23,880
Speaker 2: I like my box.

752
00:45:24,280 --> 00:45:26,720
Speaker 5: It's smelly in here, but it's my smell.

753
00:45:27,480 --> 00:45:30,960
Speaker 1: Consciousness is non local. You got to get past consciousness.

754
00:45:31,440 --> 00:45:32,439
Speaker 5: I don't know about that, man.

755
00:45:33,320 --> 00:45:39,320
Speaker 2: So I'm really okay.

756
00:45:39,400 --> 00:45:41,399
Speaker 5: I do want because I do want to address that,

757
00:45:41,560 --> 00:45:42,359
Speaker 5: but I don't know.

758
00:45:45,440 --> 00:45:47,600
Speaker 2: So thanks guys, no pressure.

759
00:45:48,480 --> 00:45:52,040
Speaker 6: So I am really fascinated by Dana's spiritual transformation. And

760
00:45:52,040 --> 00:45:55,200
Speaker 6: they don't talk a lot about how they felt before

761
00:45:56,000 --> 00:45:58,360
Speaker 6: all of this occurred. But you know, like, of course

762
00:45:58,440 --> 00:46:00,960
Speaker 6: you go through a brain tumor sit situation, and like

763
00:46:01,080 --> 00:46:05,080
Speaker 6: you are going to reevaluate your place in and connection

764
00:46:05,239 --> 00:46:10,879
Speaker 6: to the universe. And furthermore, I'm fascinated by the fact

765
00:46:10,880 --> 00:46:15,000
Speaker 6: that she kind of did it through performance, because like

766
00:46:15,080 --> 00:46:18,840
Speaker 6: she goes from in her life from performing connecting with

767
00:46:18,880 --> 00:46:24,120
Speaker 6: people in stage shows and on broadcasts to these very personal,

768
00:46:24,800 --> 00:46:28,880
Speaker 6: intimate performances, And like, I've got friends who dabble in

769
00:46:29,000 --> 00:46:32,600
Speaker 6: taro and other forms of divination, And when you do

770
00:46:32,640 --> 00:46:35,799
Speaker 6: a reading for someone, it is absolutely a performance, but

771
00:46:35,920 --> 00:46:39,360
Speaker 6: one way you're working with the other person to create

772
00:46:40,400 --> 00:46:45,160
Speaker 6: a meaningful interpretation of the cards or whatever signs and

773
00:46:45,239 --> 00:46:49,080
Speaker 6: signals you're looking at. Whether I think that there's any

774
00:46:49,560 --> 00:46:53,319
Speaker 6: great power behind and any kind of like universal with

775
00:46:53,360 --> 00:46:56,040
Speaker 6: a capital you sort of sort of stuff going on

776
00:46:56,480 --> 00:46:57,640
Speaker 6: in those cards, I'm.

777
00:46:57,520 --> 00:46:58,359
Speaker 2: Like, Eh.

778
00:46:58,400 --> 00:47:03,520
Speaker 6: But as people who you know, try to parse together

779
00:47:03,880 --> 00:47:06,520
Speaker 6: this weird world that we're in and find signals and

780
00:47:06,560 --> 00:47:09,719
Speaker 6: find patterns, I think that that can be a very useful.

781
00:47:09,440 --> 00:47:12,880
Speaker 5: Tool to help form, to help people form the narratives

782
00:47:12,880 --> 00:47:15,480
Speaker 5: that they need to exactly to be okay exactly. And

783
00:47:15,560 --> 00:47:17,799
Speaker 5: I agree with you, I absolutely agree with you on that,

784
00:47:17,840 --> 00:47:21,279
Speaker 5: whether you believe in this kind of stuff or not,

785
00:47:22,200 --> 00:47:26,960
Speaker 5: a medium is somebody who helps you understand the narrative.

786
00:47:27,239 --> 00:47:31,560
Speaker 5: Life is not just a series of unconnected events happening

787
00:47:31,600 --> 00:47:35,360
Speaker 5: to you. You can create your story and live in

788
00:47:35,400 --> 00:47:40,480
Speaker 5: that story and and change the world for you will. Yeah, yeah,

789
00:47:40,520 --> 00:47:43,600
Speaker 5: it allows you to. It allows you to structure your brain.

790
00:47:43,680 --> 00:47:45,960
Speaker 5: That's why we read books, That's why we have religion.

791
00:47:46,040 --> 00:47:48,280
Speaker 5: I mean, like, there's all of this stuff. It allows

792
00:47:48,360 --> 00:47:51,400
Speaker 5: us to understand the world that we live in. And

793
00:47:51,400 --> 00:47:56,560
Speaker 5: and because it's not just some random nightmare hellscape of

794
00:47:56,680 --> 00:48:01,520
Speaker 5: like just things that happen in the world's people act

795
00:48:01,560 --> 00:48:03,719
Speaker 5: on the world. We can act on the world.

796
00:48:03,960 --> 00:48:06,520
Speaker 7: Did you just did Nick Tikoski say that life is

797
00:48:06,560 --> 00:48:08,680
Speaker 7: not just a random collection of a healthscape.

798
00:48:08,719 --> 00:48:11,319
Speaker 5: But here's the thing. I'm not a I'm not a

799
00:48:11,640 --> 00:48:14,240
Speaker 5: I'm a nihilist in the sense that I think nothing

800
00:48:15,760 --> 00:48:19,239
Speaker 5: matters except for the things that we attribute value to.

801
00:48:20,239 --> 00:48:23,720
Speaker 5: And I and I think that that's.

802
00:48:23,520 --> 00:48:25,640
Speaker 1: A creative process. Do you know what I mean by that?

803
00:48:26,160 --> 00:48:27,280
Speaker 5: What creating our narrative?

804
00:48:28,400 --> 00:48:31,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, we're creating reality when we create our native that

805
00:48:31,080 --> 00:48:32,560
Speaker 1: is free will, and that is.

806
00:48:32,640 --> 00:48:35,520
Speaker 6: The future is what we make it. Terminator too, let's go.

807
00:48:35,840 --> 00:48:38,040
Speaker 5: Right, Well, which is why I think that, like, like

808
00:48:38,320 --> 00:48:43,920
Speaker 5: nihilism in the best sense is is you know, there

809
00:48:44,000 --> 00:48:46,440
Speaker 5: is no value except what we attribute value to the

810
00:48:46,480 --> 00:48:49,000
Speaker 5: negative sense is always like nothing fucking matters. I'm gonna

811
00:48:49,040 --> 00:48:51,160
Speaker 5: do what the fuck I want. Yeah, that's not that's

812
00:48:51,200 --> 00:48:53,440
Speaker 5: not healthy, that's not smart, that's not good for you

813
00:48:53,560 --> 00:48:56,680
Speaker 5: or anybody. Yeah, but I think that the taro. I

814
00:48:56,680 --> 00:48:58,759
Speaker 5: think horoscopes. I think that.

815
00:48:59,160 --> 00:49:01,120
Speaker 7: I mean, I'll even say, as a Christian, I think

816
00:49:01,239 --> 00:49:05,239
Speaker 7: religious stories. You know, there's the Christian belief that they

817
00:49:05,280 --> 00:49:08,120
Speaker 7: literally happen, and there's the Christian belief that they're allegory,

818
00:49:08,320 --> 00:49:11,840
Speaker 7: you know, but they they they pull us into a

819
00:49:12,360 --> 00:49:15,480
Speaker 7: collective truth. Whether you can get that from a set

820
00:49:15,520 --> 00:49:17,799
Speaker 7: of Tarit cards or from a different religion, or from

821
00:49:17,840 --> 00:49:20,800
Speaker 7: no religion or a TV show. I think that's all possible.

822
00:49:20,880 --> 00:49:22,800
Speaker 7: I got it through rock and roll as a teenager,

823
00:49:22,880 --> 00:49:25,640
Speaker 7: you know. I got my door to the universe by

824
00:49:25,640 --> 00:49:29,239
Speaker 7: listening to Bob Dylan, you know. So whatever can help

825
00:49:29,320 --> 00:49:33,520
Speaker 7: you align with that greater force is Yeah, it's great.

826
00:49:33,640 --> 00:49:35,279
Speaker 5: And I think that as long as it's not I

827
00:49:35,520 --> 00:49:39,359
Speaker 5: think that there's something insert your thing you're against here.

828
00:49:39,680 --> 00:49:43,399
Speaker 5: As long as it's not it's not those As long

829
00:49:43,440 --> 00:49:46,680
Speaker 5: as not those dirty hippies. I don't know, man, I

830
00:49:46,719 --> 00:49:51,919
Speaker 5: think that there. I think that that the idea of mediumship,

831
00:49:52,000 --> 00:49:57,160
Speaker 5: of of of the oracle, of of the person who

832
00:49:57,200 --> 00:50:03,120
Speaker 5: takes the job upon themselves of helping people navigate this life. Yeah,

833
00:50:03,239 --> 00:50:08,239
Speaker 5: I think it's I think there's a high value to that,

834
00:50:08,840 --> 00:50:13,279
Speaker 5: to the guides, whether you believe in their methods or not.

835
00:50:13,520 --> 00:50:16,080
Speaker 5: I think there's a lot of value in people who

836
00:50:16,120 --> 00:50:21,280
Speaker 5: are earnestly trying to selflessly help others through the world.

837
00:50:21,440 --> 00:50:24,680
Speaker 5: I think that's where it gets sticky with religion, like

838
00:50:24,719 --> 00:50:28,600
Speaker 5: a lot of organized religions, because people and you know,

839
00:50:29,760 --> 00:50:32,480
Speaker 5: mediums who just are telling people what they want to

840
00:50:32,480 --> 00:50:34,799
Speaker 5: hear so they'll get money, right, there's absolutely a way

841
00:50:34,840 --> 00:50:36,960
Speaker 5: to abuse that. But I think that Dana is one

842
00:50:37,000 --> 00:50:42,600
Speaker 5: of these people who's genuinely, like lovingly trying to help

843
00:50:42,680 --> 00:50:46,320
Speaker 5: guide people through a world that they struggled themselves through

844
00:50:46,560 --> 00:50:50,920
Speaker 5: for a long time. Also, Dana's fucking awesome. Dana's awesome.

845
00:50:51,320 --> 00:50:54,000
Speaker 7: I will say her personality is bubbled through this podcast.

846
00:50:54,160 --> 00:50:56,200
Speaker 7: I just loved spending time with her.

847
00:50:56,360 --> 00:50:59,799
Speaker 5: I've really I just I could have just like left

848
00:50:59,800 --> 00:51:02,360
Speaker 5: the hour and a half uncut and we just we

849
00:51:02,440 --> 00:51:05,840
Speaker 5: just talk about random shit and it's just a delight.

850
00:51:06,360 --> 00:51:06,680
Speaker 1: Yeah.

851
00:51:06,680 --> 00:51:09,200
Speaker 5: So Dana Swanson you're welcome.

852
00:51:09,200 --> 00:51:10,400
Speaker 1: We can put some jokes back in.

853
00:51:10,560 --> 00:51:15,960
Speaker 5: Yeah, well, Dana Sanson look them up. Just have a talk.

854
00:51:16,040 --> 00:51:18,120
Speaker 5: Have a talk, Dana. Dana knows where it's that man.

855
00:51:18,520 --> 00:51:21,960
Speaker 5: Dana's good people and a brilliant artist.

856
00:51:24,920 --> 00:51:27,440
Speaker 1: Next time on Alive Again, we hear the story of

857
00:51:27,480 --> 00:51:30,720
Speaker 1: Maggie Slepian, who nearly drowned during a kayaking trip.

858
00:51:31,200 --> 00:51:34,520
Speaker 2: How long can a human body survive without breathing? I

859
00:51:34,640 --> 00:51:36,640
Speaker 2: can't think of any other.

860
00:51:36,880 --> 00:51:40,400
Speaker 8: Time that you're about to die, where you have just

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00:51:40,440 --> 00:51:44,600
Speaker 8: a few minutes left and you know it. I have

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00:51:45,120 --> 00:51:49,480
Speaker 8: grappled with what it means to have survived and why

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Speaker 8: I went.

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Speaker 2: On the river in the first place.

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Speaker 1: Her journey through PTSD and self acceptance is a powerful

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Speaker 1: tale of personal reckoning. Our story producers are Dan Bush,

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Speaker 1: Kate Sweeney, Brent Die, Nicholas Dakoski, and Lauren Vogelbam music

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Speaker 1: by Ben Lovett, additional music by Alexander Rodriguez. Our executive

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Speaker 1: producers are Matthew Frederick and Trevor Young. Special thanks to

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Speaker 1: Alexander Williams for additional production support. Our studio engineers are

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Speaker 1: Rima L. K Ali and Nomes Griffin. Our editors are

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00:52:22,640 --> 00:52:27,080
Speaker 1: Dan Bush, Gerhart Slovitchka, Brent Die and Alexander Rodriguez. Mixing

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Speaker 1: by Ben Lovett and Alexander Rodriguez. I'm your host, Dan Bush.

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Speaker 1: Special thanks to Dana Swanson for sharing her story. Alive

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Speaker 1: Again is a production of I Art Radio and Psychopia Pictures.

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Speaker 1: If you have a transformative near death experience to share,

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Speaker 1: we'd love to hear your story. Please email us at

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00:52:46,520 --> 00:52:50,799
Speaker 1: Alive Again Project at gmail dot com. That's a l

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00:52:50,840 --> 00:52:53,759
Speaker 1: I v E A g A I N p R

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00:52:53,880 --> 00:53:00,359
Speaker 1: O j E c T at gmail dot com. Don't

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Speaker 1: don't do