Speaker 1: This is the new grounded routine. I get up, I
Speaker 1: take my new meds. My therapist is finding me off
Speaker 1: the climb of pin and adderall and onto a mood
Speaker 1: stabilizer Deprica, and the idea is to have me being
Speaker 1: less chemically tugged back and forth, get me leveled out.
Speaker 1: But I'm always anxious during medication changes. They can have
Speaker 1: unexpected side effects on my mood. Mostly I like this guy,
Speaker 1: Dr Ferryman, but in our first session he mentioned by
Speaker 1: polar disorder is a possible new diagnosis to explain my
Speaker 1: impulsive behavior. I don't want to admit it, but that
Speaker 1: really freaks me out. Coping with anxiety has been one thing,
Speaker 1: but but bipolar is like bipolar is like a real
Speaker 1: mental illness. Luckily, he isn't pushing anything. In our later sessions,
Speaker 1: We're mostly talking and kneasing up on my meds, and
Speaker 1: my parents seemed happy that things are working out with him,
Speaker 1: so I'm able to turn my attention back to what
Speaker 1: I want to do most here comes the break. This
Speaker 1: week We've lined up our biggest artists yet, Bobby Sessions.
Speaker 1: He's an artist bridge and activism and music. I know
Speaker 1: it'll be a dope conversation. The interview is after school
Speaker 1: in the book of t Audio Lab Studio and Marcos
Speaker 1: joining Janelle are not there for the first time. After that,
Speaker 1: we're recording the finale and that's a wrap on season one.
Speaker 1: I've got bad news. Rob, the artist we had booked,
Speaker 1: had to cancel on episode ten. He was in an
Speaker 1: altercation with the police and got detained. We don't have
Speaker 1: an artist book for a season finale. What happened was
Speaker 1: he pulled over by the clop flaw driving. Was he
Speaker 1: at a protest? His manager didn't say. When I saw
Speaker 1: he was at the same burger police as the man
Speaker 1: who was unfortunately shot and killed last week. You may
Speaker 1: have got caught up in all of that because the
Speaker 1: police went on a spree arresting witnesses who recorded the
Speaker 1: shooting on their cellphones. He was right behind the guy
Speaker 1: who was killed by the police. I mean, it could
Speaker 1: be anything, Damn, that's crazy. That's why I'm thankful for
Speaker 1: this pot. This is about more than music. It gives
Speaker 1: us in the artists of voice to talk about real
Speaker 1: ship that matters. I know, right, I mean, there's a
Speaker 1: reckoning happening right now in America. Monkster generation. We need
Speaker 1: justice for Brianna Taylor, Tony McDade, Atiana Jefferson, a Maud
Speaker 1: Aubrey like yesterday, all those black lives brutally taken, prematurely
Speaker 1: named and unnamed. Oh, I mean, and don't even get
Speaker 1: me started grouping. I mean, you know I'm going to
Speaker 1: a BLM rally and Brooklyn next week. You should join me.
Speaker 1: I start to get anxious when Jane s to just
Speaker 1: going through a protest. It hasn't really been my scene,
Speaker 1: to be honest, I meant what I said about the
Speaker 1: podcast being a vehicle to talk about issues, and that's
Speaker 1: where I want to focus my energy. Crowds, chants, and
Speaker 1: cops really are my thing. I'll just tell her that
Speaker 1: I'm going to stay in the lab to focus on
Speaker 1: our pop one thing at a time. I've got to
Speaker 1: get out of my ground. And first, and you said
Speaker 1: we're out of final artist interview, we for sure you
Speaker 1: need to solve that before making any other plans for
Speaker 1: next week. I mean, okay, fair enough, you got any
Speaker 1: fresh ideas? What if we feature a true indie artist,
Speaker 1: someone on the East Coast who is a poet and
Speaker 1: mc a truth secret Ruben I can see the stars
Speaker 1: in your eyes. My g who do you ever mind?
Speaker 1: You gotta lead already, you already know. So when I
Speaker 1: was at the villa, hung out with the Rabbit from Boston,
Speaker 1: we follow each other on the ground. Now I could
Speaker 1: reach out to her. All right, we're on a tight deadline.
Speaker 1: It's worth a shot. Let's hit put up. Maybe focusing
Speaker 1: so much on the pod, which is technically a school project,
Speaker 1: will convince your parents that you're stepping up your game.
Speaker 1: You're serious about your academics, and you're done wilding out
Speaker 1: in l A. And if you ask me, maybe a
Speaker 1: little you join me at the protest. She flashes me
Speaker 1: a daring smile. This girl doesn't miss a beat. I
Speaker 1: feel an echo of the crush I had on them
Speaker 1: when we first met, but I'm past it now. Janelle
Speaker 1: has been my rock during all this drama cost even
Speaker 1: when she's been pissed in me too. She's a good friend.
Speaker 1: That's actually not a bad idea, you know, if I
Speaker 1: can get out of my grounding, I promised to join you.
Speaker 1: That's what I'm talking of about. The rest of the
Speaker 1: day is a blur. The whole time my mind is
Speaker 1: on the Bobby Sessions interview coming up after school. I'm
Speaker 1: looking forward to Marco seeing the new audio lab set
Speaker 1: up too. After a month on the outs, now that
Speaker 1: he's back in the phone market, can see just how
Speaker 1: much Janelle and I have leveled up our production. That's Marque,
Speaker 1: my last classic study hall, where I've been listening to
Speaker 1: the Bobby's music and prepping my interview questions. With the
Speaker 1: ring of the bell, I crammed my phone in notebooks
Speaker 1: in my bag and book it across the campus to
Speaker 1: meet Janelle at the lab. As I get close, I
Speaker 1: see Janelle is already in there waiting for me, and
Speaker 1: I also catch eyes on Marco. We're walking down the hole.
Speaker 1: He got here pretty damn past. But then again, our
Speaker 1: old public school gets out a little earlier than Book
Speaker 1: of t so he had a head start. Marco this way.
Speaker 1: He salutes from across the hall and hustle to catch
Speaker 1: up with me. We entered the lab together and Janelle
Speaker 1: waves us a bright hello. Damn, you really do have
Speaker 1: a sweet spot up here. Tech school has its benefits, Hey, Marco,
Speaker 1: welcome to here comes the break two point. Oh, I
Speaker 1: told you this was an upgrade your boogie school has
Speaker 1: its perks. After all. When he looks at me, I
Speaker 1: can see the Marco was still a bit uptight. He
Speaker 1: still hurt, but he's trying. This dude doesn't wear selling
Speaker 1: or salty that well. My brain is full of racing thoughts,
Speaker 1: but I know the only way to heal our relationship
Speaker 1: the rest of the way. It's time before I can
Speaker 1: say anything too soft and screw up di vide. Janelle
Speaker 1: chimes in, so we have a few minutes before Bobby
Speaker 1: calls in. I figured we could just review some products
Speaker 1: stuff Marco, I told her been earlier, but you should
Speaker 1: know we're out our final artists for next week. We
Speaker 1: have to feel that slot pretty quick. What that sucks,
Speaker 1: don't worry. I gotta leave Boston based rapping or poet
Speaker 1: named up. Well, we shouldn't rely on just one lead.
Speaker 1: I'll review what other artist context we've got that we
Speaker 1: haven't used, and maybe put out feel us for a
Speaker 1: couple more good idea. Where did this lead come from? Anyway?
Speaker 1: I met her at the villa. We mutual follows one
Speaker 1: mention of the villa, and for once, Marco doesn't have
Speaker 1: a smart comeback. Yep, he's still heard it in the
Speaker 1: awkward silence that follows. It's Janelle who eases the tension
Speaker 1: between us again. I also finished betting the ads sponsors
Speaker 1: who have been courting us, sending us merchant all that. Marco,
Speaker 1: we didn't want to move forward with anything until we're
Speaker 1: all back together, so I've just been researching them until
Speaker 1: you got back. So who are we going with revenue streams? Baby?
Speaker 1: Let's get this paper. Actually, I think we dodged a
Speaker 1: bullet waiting. None of the sponsors who reached out to
Speaker 1: us are particularly environmentally or socially conscious. I just think
Speaker 1: whatever brands we agree to work with, we really need
Speaker 1: to make sure they reflect our values. Maybe we con
Speaker 1: solicit ads from places that have holistic missions that they
Speaker 1: true we uphold. I have faith will find the right
Speaker 1: company to sponsor. Here comes the break. Until then, I
Speaker 1: think we should go at free and the awkward silence
Speaker 1: comes right back. I can tell Marco is not feeling
Speaker 1: the idea of turning down money now that we're big
Speaker 1: enough to monetize off of our brand. To be honest,
Speaker 1: I don't really disagree with him. Janelle really caught us
Speaker 1: soft guard with this one. Girl, Are you crazy? We're
Speaker 1: at the level where we have sponsors hitting us up.
Speaker 1: We can make some bread off this, so we're not
Speaker 1: summer camp counselors or back in groceries this summer. I mean,
Speaker 1: I'm not above it, but if we can make money
Speaker 1: off our social media presence, that's that's huge. I'm with
Speaker 1: Marco on this one, Jay, I mean, I appreciate you
Speaker 1: vetting on the candidates like you did, but maybe he
Speaker 1: and I should take a look at the list too,
Speaker 1: and we could pick a few you might be willing
Speaker 1: to consider. I can see Janelle get a little frustrated
Speaker 1: behind their eyes. It occurs to me that this is
Speaker 1: the first time Marco and I really pushed back against
Speaker 1: their input. I mean, if you guys want to take
Speaker 1: on the extra work, feel free to review the list yourselves.
Speaker 1: I'm just saying we're about to sit down for an
Speaker 1: interview with an artivists, activists slash artists. We've asked artists
Speaker 1: about their social consciousness and global consciousness just as much
Speaker 1: as we've asked about the music. We don't want to
Speaker 1: abandon those values and that perspective. I hear you, I
Speaker 1: hear you, But you know what else I hear wu
Speaker 1: Tang Cream cash rules everything around. He get the money,
Speaker 1: didid bill? Yah? Yeah, man, that's my dude. Woo tang
Speaker 1: Woo tang jy. I'm just trying to lighten the move
Speaker 1: a bit now. I know you're into vibrating higher and
Speaker 1: singing bowls, but making a little cash whon't hurt if
Speaker 1: we want to scale up more. The next step is
Speaker 1: getting an operating budget, and that means AD dollars. This
Speaker 1: is the big break we've been waiting for. Fidgets in
Speaker 1: the seat. We're all dancing around the disagreement and being
Speaker 1: professional about it, but it feels a little strange to
Speaker 1: find Marco on myself united against it. We're over here
Speaker 1: singing it Wu Tang duet. We've experienced a lot of
Speaker 1: different dynamics as a team in the short, wild history
Speaker 1: of this project, but somehow not this one. I understand that,
Speaker 1: And to be fair, I know this pod started out
Speaker 1: between the two of you. I'm not trying to come
Speaker 1: between your romance or the vision of the pod. However,
Speaker 1: I don't want us to lose sight of our principles.
Speaker 1: In Layman's terms, more money, more problems. Fair enough, Marco
Speaker 1: and I will look at the list this week and
Speaker 1: we'll return to this convote in a few days. You
Speaker 1: good with that? It works for me, we'll see. Just
Speaker 1: let me know. It feels great for me and Marco
Speaker 1: to be working together as a team again. Janelle may
Speaker 1: not be feeling us right now, but we gotta keep
Speaker 1: our eyes on the prize. All right, You ready to
Speaker 1: lock down this interview, Let's get to work. Bobby Sessions
Speaker 1: is calling in and Janelle turns on the mic. In
Speaker 1: my research, I've noticed activism seems to be the fabric
Speaker 1: of who you are. Have Have you been able to
Speaker 1: remain authentic and truth to who you are by being
Speaker 1: signed to a major record label. I feel like when
Speaker 1: you are blessed with the opportunity to be signed to
Speaker 1: a company death Jam or something of that level, there's
Speaker 1: a lot of responsibility that comes with that platform. And
Speaker 1: it's not for every artist. But if I feel like
Speaker 1: if artists has the ability to report what's going on
Speaker 1: and put it in a way where it can be
Speaker 1: entertaining with the music, then by all means they should
Speaker 1: use their gifts. Why would you processing all of the
Speaker 1: the reckon with systemic racism going on right now? That's
Speaker 1: a difficult thing. To process because even post the murder
Speaker 1: George Floyd, that's been a number of other people that
Speaker 1: have been executed, has been murdered prior to George Floyd
Speaker 1: that are getting more like now, and it's almost difficult
Speaker 1: to keep up with all the names because there's so many.
Speaker 1: So it's difficult to process. But I try to stay
Speaker 1: informed and then also balanced that out by just taking
Speaker 1: breaks from my own sanity. Yeah, I feel that. I
Speaker 1: feel that. I also read that unfortunately, your cousin, James
Speaker 1: Harper was shotting killed by Dallas cops, said free years ago.
Speaker 1: So yeah, it's disheartening. You become noumb twit when you
Speaker 1: have a family member that experiences that. And in my case,
Speaker 1: I found out a combination from Twitter and my mother
Speaker 1: when my cousin passed. I was working at Walmart at
Speaker 1: the time, and during my break, I was on Twitter
Speaker 1: and I saw that he was calling it a riot.
Speaker 1: But there's a bunch of people that were upset and
Speaker 1: uh in South Dallas and saying that someone had been
Speaker 1: shot by the cops. But you did you hear this
Speaker 1: every day? So it wasn't You're almost desensitized. And I
Speaker 1: remember hearing about that Damn, that's crazy. This happened in Dallas.
Speaker 1: Then my break was finished, and then I get a
Speaker 1: text from my mom, which at that time she wasn't
Speaker 1: really texting. So when she was like, y'all need you
Speaker 1: to call me, I knew something was wrong immediately because
Speaker 1: that just wasn't the way that she chose to communicate
Speaker 1: during that time. So I stepped into a bathroom and
Speaker 1: I called her, and then she told me that my
Speaker 1: cousin got killed. Like I started connecting back from what
Speaker 1: I was seeing on Twitter some hours before, and then
Speaker 1: like I connected the dots, like uh, but there was
Speaker 1: a life changing event because you see these things all
Speaker 1: the time, and even if you're not consciously thinking about it,
Speaker 1: somewhere in your mind you maybe thinking that won't happen
Speaker 1: to you or someone by around you. And then that
Speaker 1: was that wake up called like oh wow, this isn't
Speaker 1: something on Twitter anymore, something on TV. This is like
Speaker 1: this hit our front door. So it's crazy seeing other
Speaker 1: families now have to deal with a similar thing. It's
Speaker 1: a sad thing, but I am encouraged by all the
Speaker 1: I haven't seen as much unity from us as a people,
Speaker 1: and even wait for some of the non black people
Speaker 1: that are still that are just supporting and coming together
Speaker 1: to put an into this. I haven't seen as much unity.
Speaker 1: I haven't seen as much collective pushback in my lifetime,
Speaker 1: so that part has me excited for the future. Most
Speaker 1: respect to you man, Thank you for discussing that you
Speaker 1: didn't have to do so I appreciate it. Sort of First,
Speaker 1: I felt a lot of beautiful things are developed in
Speaker 1: dirty places and dark places. So, for example, as bad
Speaker 1: as things are on an economic level, on a literally
Speaker 1: black people getting killed for no reason level, there is
Speaker 1: a positive side to it. And as far as the
Speaker 1: future going forward, I believe that's gonna be so much
Speaker 1: more accountability across the board, as far as how we're police,
Speaker 1: how money is being distributed into our communities. M hm, okay, okay.
Speaker 1: Something back to music a little bit. Uh, Have you
Speaker 1: met or collaborated with an artist that you're just like,
Speaker 1: I can't believe me. I'm in the room with this person.
Speaker 1: If you have, how was that experience, I would saying no,
Speaker 1: not at least not yet, mainly because not even on
Speaker 1: a cocky ship. It's just I expect to be in
Speaker 1: those rooms. I can't believe it. When I'm in there,
Speaker 1: I believe it, you know what I mean, Like, I'm
Speaker 1: excited every time. Still, like, man, this is crazy. The
Speaker 1: unbelievable part that for me is more man, there's a
Speaker 1: lot of attraction stuff was really working everything. That's the
Speaker 1: part that gets me feeling a way. I believe I'm dope,
Speaker 1: so I expect to be in wrongs with dope people.
Speaker 1: So so you're inspired by the seecret did not have
Speaker 1: attraction and let this manifest station in. Like to you,
Speaker 1: I'm real big on writing yourself down, like you mentioned,
Speaker 1: I think for the main purpose of not just writing
Speaker 1: something down. But so for example, when I write down
Speaker 1: the goal, I put it on a big piece of
Speaker 1: construction paper and I hang them in different areas of
Speaker 1: my place. So like pretty much no matter where I'm at,
Speaker 1: I see this goal like constantly, And it's not necessarily
Speaker 1: for my conscious minds. It's really for my subconscious money.
Speaker 1: So there's times that I'm taking it in and absorbing
Speaker 1: what I have on this board without even consciously noticing it.
Speaker 1: And I'm doing this to program my subconscious mind. So
Speaker 1: whatever future I make all of my future realities of
Speaker 1: present fact this and as a late instead of me
Speaker 1: just putting down Okay, I want to make this much money.
Speaker 1: I want to have a relationship with this person. I
Speaker 1: do it more like material things that have fallen off
Speaker 1: the list and has become more about just I just
Speaker 1: want to be creative. I want to wake up and
Speaker 1: feel abundantly creative. I have this endless will of creativity
Speaker 1: that I can draw from whenever I want, for however
Speaker 1: long I want, at any time, anywhere, And then that
Speaker 1: has resulted in a lot of manifestations just because I'm
Speaker 1: focusing more on the ability to fish as opposed to
Speaker 1: the fish itself and fish in this example, is the
Speaker 1: material thing like a car or a watch or money
Speaker 1: that's a fish. I am thinking of manifests being better
Speaker 1: at fishing. Do you have advice for young creators and
Speaker 1: their parents trying to learn how to fish? People have
Speaker 1: time goals that they set for themselves. I should have
Speaker 1: this much money or be at this stage in my
Speaker 1: career at this time. We do that. When you're eighteen,
Speaker 1: you're like, I need to own a business at twenty three.
Speaker 1: So you turn twenty three, you don't own a business,
Speaker 1: and now you're discouraged, and now you want to quit
Speaker 1: when if you would have just kept going, you would
Speaker 1: have owned it at and by the time you're twenty
Speaker 1: eight and you own it, you wouldn't look at it
Speaker 1: like too old man. So a lot of struggles and
Speaker 1: anxiety and depression and self doubt and second guessing. A
Speaker 1: lot of that is attached to time, and your parents
Speaker 1: have time expectations on you as well, because that's how
Speaker 1: they evaluate their apparently. So if your kid is twenty
Speaker 1: four and they need to live with you and they're struggling,
Speaker 1: you're like, oh, man, like what when is this gonna
Speaker 1: turn out? Your little hobby and they're trying to protect
Speaker 1: you at the end of the day, that's their intention.
Speaker 1: It comes off wrong because they're like, oh, y'all a
Speaker 1: ship on my dreams and all that. But it's not
Speaker 1: for it's not for your parents to understand. H It's
Speaker 1: not for them too. It's a difficult thing for you
Speaker 1: as the creative to accept, but it's not for them
Speaker 1: to accept. When I first started rapping and I wanted
Speaker 1: everybody to jump on the Boby Sessions bandwaggon and they
Speaker 1: was like, oh, this is I'll be what ibb this
Speaker 1: is my dream? This is my life goal, it's my
Speaker 1: life purpose. But that's not for them. They're not in
Speaker 1: my head, so they can't see the future that I
Speaker 1: have for myself. And then I learned a very valuable
Speaker 1: lesson and some of my my mother told me, and
Speaker 1: I'd never forgotten it. She told me my mom end
Speaker 1: up being or both my parents end up being cute
Speaker 1: supporters of my music down the line, but in the
Speaker 1: beginning it wasn't, and my mom said I couldn't support
Speaker 1: it because I didn't believe it, and that changed my life.
Speaker 1: Wouldn't view that as an insult. I view that as
Speaker 1: you know what I'm wrong, You're right, because you shouldn't.
Speaker 1: You don't owe me support because you're my parents. Any
Speaker 1: child that's expecting their parents to do that, I wouldn't
Speaker 1: do it. I would highly recommend not doing that. You
Speaker 1: need to be you need to be on your path,
Speaker 1: and you need to be okay with your parents judging
Speaker 1: you because that's what they're supposed to do, because at
Speaker 1: the end of the day, they don't want you to
Speaker 1: be homeless. Now you believe in yourself and or you
Speaker 1: believe that you're gonna be successful, you need to depend
Speaker 1: on that and no external validation from anyone else. And
Speaker 1: what are they say? If you want it enough, you're
Speaker 1: gonna find out a way to go get it. We'll
Speaker 1: be right back and now back to the show. I'm
Speaker 1: bugging out after that interview. We all are. It was
Speaker 1: one of our best yet. The tension over whether we
Speaker 1: signed sponsors for the pod is completely forgotten among the
Speaker 1: three of us as we celebrate the recording and pack
Speaker 1: up our stuff. But as we head out from the school,
Speaker 1: two things Bobby Sessions said keep ringing in my head.
Speaker 1: That's a lot of responsibility that comes with that platform
Speaker 1: he signed, and he talked about the responsibility that comes
Speaker 1: with that. Our platform may still be minored by comparison,
Speaker 1: but our social responsibility is exactly what we were debating
Speaker 1: before the interview started. Marco, when I chat about it
Speaker 1: more on the subway right back to Far Rockaway, but
Speaker 1: I'm still unpacking the Bobby Sessions interview when he started
Speaker 1: talking about parents not supporting artistic careers, about not feeling
Speaker 1: entitled to that, and that hit home for me. It's
Speaker 1: what I've been struggling with with my parents. It's why
Speaker 1: it's all led to me being grounded and now in therapy,
Speaker 1: all I really wanted was some support, encouragement and understanding
Speaker 1: from my parents. Bobby's lying cuts me so deep I
Speaker 1: can't get it out of my head. Marco. When not
Speaker 1: split up at the station, I pull out my phone
Speaker 1: during I walk home and send a d M to Umpah.
Speaker 1: I asked if she'd be willing to be our season
Speaker 1: finale guests, and in no time I find myself at
Speaker 1: the front door. You don't owe me support because you're
Speaker 1: life parents. Any child that's expecting their parents to do that,
Speaker 1: I wouldn't do it. Hey, Ruben, and how is your interview?
Speaker 1: It went well. We're almost done with the season and
Speaker 1: almost ready for the final project presentation in school. Good good,
Speaker 1: slide my backpack off my shoulder and sit down by
Speaker 1: mom on the couch. Here goes nothing. I want to
Speaker 1: ask you both something go for a kid though. After
Speaker 1: our final interview next week, Janelle is going out to
Speaker 1: a BLM rally in Brooklyn. She invited me along, sort
Speaker 1: of jokingly because she knows I'm still grounded, But I figured,
Speaker 1: you know, maybe if it was worth a shot to
Speaker 1: ask if I could go out with her and Marco
Speaker 1: for a good talks. Mom puts down Bell Hook's book
Speaker 1: All about Love and gives me her full attention. That's funny.
Speaker 1: It's the same book Janelle was reading when I met him. Boy,
Speaker 1: are you trying to play us? That's clever. You're smart, honey,
Speaker 1: he gets that from me. I mean it has been
Speaker 1: over a month. Things are going well in therapy. Why
Speaker 1: not ask well? As long as you're being honest, I'm
Speaker 1: in favor of you being part of something bigger than yourself.
Speaker 1: I turned on my mom a little shocked. I thought
Speaker 1: she'd take more convincing than that, all her worries about
Speaker 1: me being out in the city at night. Reuben, your
Speaker 1: dad and I will talk about this tonight, gather the
Speaker 1: details about when, where, what time, and we'll think about
Speaker 1: it as long as you, Marco and Janelle take the
Speaker 1: right precautions and stick together. I think I have some
Speaker 1: permanent markers, so you guys can write your phone numbers
Speaker 1: on your wrists, and I'll run to the store and
Speaker 1: grab a few bottles of whole milk for each of
Speaker 1: you in case of pepper spray. WHOA, My mom is
Speaker 1: really cool with this, Yes, ma'am, Damn, you got it
Speaker 1: all worked out, well, can we at least talk about
Speaker 1: bail funds tonight too? You're silly, but yes, we'll talk
Speaker 1: more later. I'm just glad things are getting back to
Speaker 1: normal around here, well the new normal. What do you mean,
Speaker 1: you know, with your surprise podcast project and now you've
Speaker 1: gone and got all political. Honest, you've given us a
Speaker 1: lot to digest in the last few months. Is this
Speaker 1: what other parents feel like when they're teenagers? Rebel? I
Speaker 1: pause because I feel a nurse to disagree here comes
Speaker 1: to break is not an active repel you, and it's
Speaker 1: a business and career opportunity. But I bite my tongue.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I've gone pretty easy on you on
Speaker 1: the team rebellion front. I guess I had to balance
Speaker 1: things up. That winks at me and gets back up
Speaker 1: to head into the kitchen. Talk concluded, I take my
Speaker 1: bag upstairs to my room. Tonight is the night I
Speaker 1: could feel it. I'm gonna make my meditation breakthrough, get
Speaker 1: all the way to the closing bil without moving or
Speaker 1: opening my eyes. I silenced my notifications settle in the
Speaker 1: first starts to drift through my mind are the ones
Speaker 1: that have popped up all day, the same way they do.
Speaker 1: When you're drifting off to sleep, floating in the void
Speaker 1: of my closed eyes, I see Janelle pushing back against
Speaker 1: going commercial. I see my parents given in to me
Speaker 1: going out to the protest. But as those visions passed deeper,
Speaker 1: recollections from the podcast in the last three months start
Speaker 1: popping up like bubbles in my mind. I start to
Speaker 1: fill a pins and needles buzzing in my feet as
Speaker 1: a rush of podcasts when when he floods my quiet brain,
Speaker 1: I try to meditate as much as I can, like
Speaker 1: every day, every other day. We all got a DNA
Speaker 1: that we fight like a lot. A lot of people
Speaker 1: don't really talk about it like that, but I don't
Speaker 1: really kid. You gotta do with anxiety. I have huge anxiety.
Speaker 1: It's like really bad. But lately I've been finding a
Speaker 1: lot of ways to cope with it and just kind
Speaker 1: of like get through it because I feel like a
Speaker 1: lot of it is fear of certain things. So I
Speaker 1: just try to like go with it and just try
Speaker 1: to like hope it's not going to turn out bad.
Speaker 1: The days of my constant panic attacks feel so distant now.
Speaker 1: My Dad's right, there's a new normal around here. The pod.
Speaker 1: Success isn't just in external accomplishment. Do this work. I'm
Speaker 1: finally getting to know myself again. More people care than
Speaker 1: you think if you are looking for help. Actually it's
Speaker 1: usually there. It's just gonna take a little longer. That's it.
Speaker 1: It's more again when you be yourself, be patient, have
Speaker 1: intuition about the situation. There's gonna be times where everyone
Speaker 1: is wrong and you're the right one. But you also
Speaker 1: have to continue to be humbled. You know. Don't shoot
Speaker 1: yourself as a foot. And I did shoot myself in
Speaker 1: the foot the way I handled the pie with my parents,
Speaker 1: the way I handled viral villa with everyone. But personally,
Speaker 1: deep down, I'm proud I took a stand. It was messy,
Speaker 1: but it was a necessary part of this whole painful process.
Speaker 1: Depends and needles in my feet extend up through my thighs.
Speaker 1: Even as all these recollections swirl around me, I feel
Speaker 1: more center than I haven't months. This is really quick
Speaker 1: and all that. That's when the will power going to play.
Speaker 1: A lot of struggles and anxiety and depression and self
Speaker 1: doubt and second guessing. A lot of that is attached
Speaker 1: to time. Time I've been sought of sorts with time
Speaker 1: trapped years backwards in my head, nursing wounds about my
Speaker 1: shutdown VI an account, all hesitant about the podcast because
Speaker 1: I wasn't sure I was ready. I wasn't sure it
Speaker 1: was time yet. Wow. I was so proud of my
Speaker 1: viral villa stunt. It felt so free because I haven't
Speaker 1: known how to live in the moment and just be
Speaker 1: be president. You have to know every single step with
Speaker 1: your journey, otherwise you're not gonna be able to retrace
Speaker 1: them and go back to point eight on the drawing
Speaker 1: board whenever you need to. Now you believe in yourself
Speaker 1: and or you believe that you're going to be successful,
Speaker 1: you need to depend on that and no external validation
Speaker 1: from anyone else. I did it. Pins and needles received
Speaker 1: as I unfold from my half lotus position and checked
Speaker 1: the meditation app. That definitely did not feel like ten minutes.
Speaker 1: We felt like so many ideas fly around my head
Speaker 1: and mounted to nearly nothing at all. I wasn't distracting
Speaker 1: myself this time. I was collecting myself and now. An
Speaker 1: exclusive track from Bobby Sessions, Can I Talk my Ship? Yeah?
Speaker 1: One question I have? Can I talk my Ship? Yeah?
Speaker 1: He can I talk to my ship. One question that
Speaker 1: I can talk in my ship. I'm gonna talk about it.
Speaker 1: You gotta problem, say so, get my check. No Billy Jean,
Speaker 1: her hair go off. No guillotine kick green like Draymond
Speaker 1: all the years with day one spreading like like hey,
Speaker 1: cooking up right, que ain't nothing to funk with. Shout
Speaker 1: out the wood. I was swearing to chuck tis without
Speaker 1: the shoes shine. I was an asshole when I was
Speaker 1: eighteen leaving the school. Now I got an afro. You
Speaker 1: got that big gin You got that dude, I got here,
Speaker 1: but that wo out the maam. I'm gonna just move
Speaker 1: out to pay buy me, y'all, look out family, all
Speaker 1: it said, I'm a sam whoa you know on the go,
Speaker 1: I might just pull off the lamb you pull off
Speaker 1: a man, I might pull a poop up and I'll
Speaker 1: keep it sup up for all the folks in the
Speaker 1: can trying to go buy the lamb that's in the pool,
Speaker 1: like round making that move. I am what I am
Speaker 1: what I think in my dream. I don't sleep, see
Speaker 1: my tooth. I don't blink. Track your brain. The thing
Speaker 1: like me and the bass key using my staff to
Speaker 1: seat and proving my health. Key, I don't set up
Speaker 1: for lash, keep cocking my flash skeet, none of my
Speaker 1: nag to skeep none of a tag keep runna da
Speaker 1: set a check it. I woke up this morning and
Speaker 1: I said, fun, my nine to five ain't nothing legend
Speaker 1: that by working at a job ty did not happen
Speaker 1: ship that I know, but longing me got a quick
Speaker 1: second guess and man, what the hell it roves need?
Speaker 1: I need racks on racks by the whole damn rack
Speaker 1: made the mus shut down, get the washbus down. I'm
Speaker 1: trying to catching busses for a table to bust down.
Speaker 1: I know the problem, but the better question is what
Speaker 1: now money? Your power? I needed to living below my
Speaker 1: potentially they feed in my stappit. I'll need information. I
Speaker 1: see it is set and demand what I wanted Muna
Speaker 1: speak to exist as you received it. You had to
Speaker 1: believe it all of my dubs. I'm gonna leave it behind.
Speaker 1: Talking will open. I started without hoping it down. It's
Speaker 1: a waste of my time. I know what happened for
Speaker 1: a local after he talking ship didn't want to pronto
Speaker 1: after open passes be a global rap. But I O
Speaker 1: my hapbits, took it, call my actions. Put my dogs
Speaker 1: like crew, well free Willy, I do well. Hit the
Speaker 1: league like blue Bell, I am the best. Keep using
Speaker 1: my shaf keep and proving my health. Keep. Don't set
Speaker 1: up for last, keep a ca come my flash of
Speaker 1: feet running my nag. Set run up a check running
Speaker 1: them Dad Feet Here Comes to Break is produced by
Speaker 1: Double Elvis and partnership with I Heart Radio. Executive produced
Speaker 1: by Deaf Jam Recordings. Executive produced by and starring Asanti
Speaker 1: Black Is Ruben, Produced by Danielle Perkins who plays Janelle,
Speaker 1: Bobby cs is Marco, Christopher V. Edwards as Dad, Raymie
Speaker 1: Cornell is Mom, and Taylor Bettinson. Written by Taylor Bettinson
Speaker 1: and the Kida Hill Artist Interviews conducted by Nikia Hill,
Speaker 1: directed by Christopher V. Edwards, mixed and edited by Matt
Speaker 1: ta Hainey, Sound recording by Colin Flem Music Elements and
Speaker 1: production by Ryan's Breaker. Additional production support by Jamie Dimons.
Speaker 1: Executive produced by Jake Brennan and Brady Sadler for Double Elvis.
Speaker 1: Special thanks to Orin Rosenbaum, Shelby Shankman, Sarah Kane, and
Speaker 1: Jordan Garrellic United Talent Agency, Beck Comedian Marketing, Barack Moffatt
Speaker 1: and Universal Music Group Rich Isaacson, Lind Gonzalez, Charlene Thomas,
Speaker 1: Merrissa Pizarro, Gabriel to Serrierio, Jessica Manarino and Nya Fleming
Speaker 1: at Deaf Jam Recordings and Conald Burn, Carrie Lieberman, Will Pearson,
Speaker 1: Noel Brown and the entire I Heeart Media team to
Speaker 1: hear bonus content, meet the cast, and go behind the
Speaker 1: scenes of Here It Comes to Break. Follow with double
Speaker 1: Elvis on Instagram or visit double elvis dot com. L
Speaker 1: another