Speaker 1: Los Angeles. Are you ready to confess? Because guess what
Speaker 1: we are going back on tour. That's right, La is
Speaker 1: our first stop on October twenty first at the tear
Speaker 1: Grand Ballroom. Doors open at six o'clock. Bring your homies,
Speaker 1: bring your girls, bring your partner, and bring those confessions
Speaker 1: because the night is going to be filled with naughty
Speaker 1: little secrets. And you know how we turn up at
Speaker 1: a Good Mom show, So I cannot wait to see you.
Speaker 1: That's October twenty first at the tear a Gram Ballroom.
Speaker 1: Click the link in this episode description and get your
Speaker 1: tickets today. If you're not aware of who you are
Speaker 1: and really just taking care of yourself, you can easily
Speaker 1: be told anything.
Speaker 2: And what's funny is because it's cultural too in our culture,
Speaker 2: blacks and browns or kurvy. This is whybbl's are very popular,
Speaker 2: not popular, right, But at the end of the day,
Speaker 2: it's not the bl that's going to maintain a family together.
Speaker 3: Right.
Speaker 2: You can have all the surgeries in the world and
Speaker 2: have the nicest body in the world is you. It's
Speaker 2: how you show up for yourself.
Speaker 4: Welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices. I'm Erica and
Speaker 4: I'm Meila, Happy Wednesday, Happy Hemp Day.
Speaker 1: Yeah, how you doing?
Speaker 4: I feel good. I drink coffee so I feel energized.
Speaker 4: Oh how is that with this burst of the energy
Speaker 4: is coming?
Speaker 3: I haven't had coffee in two days, and this is
Speaker 3: what happens.
Speaker 4: How come we haven't had coffee in two days? We
Speaker 4: were in like the coffee land. I don't know, I
Speaker 4: just didn't get to it. Oh okay, I didn't have
Speaker 4: the coffee that I wanted, which is really irritating. But
Speaker 4: we just got back from Miami like moments ago. I
Speaker 4: literally slept for like fucking like twelve hours.
Speaker 3: We needed it bad.
Speaker 1: I know we say this every time we go out
Speaker 1: of town, but I'm not a party girl anymore. I
Speaker 1: don't know. I think I've graduated out of it. It's taken.
Speaker 1: It takes a lot out of me.
Speaker 4: We went to Miami for like a week and it
Speaker 4: was our friend cash Lee's birthday.
Speaker 1: We were into the house and a yacht. I mean,
Speaker 1: did all the Miami things.
Speaker 4: We wore like nighttime sunglasses every day, which is obviously
Speaker 4: the definition of Miami. Little outfits, sparkles and nighttime sunglasses.
Speaker 1: It's true, but I think I'm gonna start being like
Speaker 1: Amber Rose and wear sunglasses at night. Oh me too.
Speaker 1: I think it's the thing now.
Speaker 4: They have to be like a little translusings. I don't
Speaker 4: like to feel like I can't seek it because I
Speaker 4: already can't seek.
Speaker 1: Sometimes you got to commit, because I've done that. I
Speaker 1: wear the black at night and it's a look, and
Speaker 1: I have to commit to it and be blind.
Speaker 4: My eyesight's not not high enough for me to an additional.
Speaker 1: Additionally, put on dark glasses.
Speaker 4: They have to be like light or else I'll be
Speaker 4: bumping into things, plus drinking and hell no, they're like,
Speaker 4: where's that blind mice going? Where's my friends have seen?
Speaker 3: These people?
Speaker 1: Can't take off my glasses.
Speaker 4: I'm committed to looking like Amber Today we went to
Speaker 4: the what was the African Afro Nation?
Speaker 1: We went to the Afro Nation concert, went to.
Speaker 3: The beach dinners.
Speaker 1: We went to dinners.
Speaker 4: We went to Kei Key on the River or yeah,
Speaker 4: we went to fucking the strip club. One thing we're
Speaker 4: gonna do is we're going to do the things and
Speaker 4: oh we had a book signing. How the fuck do
Speaker 4: we do all this? Every time we goes, we're like,
Speaker 4: we're gonna relax. We're gonna be so relaxful and then
Speaker 4: we do four thousand things. But we had a really
Speaker 4: beautiful book signing in Miami. We have a really bomb
Speaker 4: ash tribe in Miami that I didn't realize that we had.
Speaker 4: Shout out to Nikki who took care of us and
Speaker 4: hosted us and supported us so much in making this happen.
Speaker 1: She was like, I'm here to support you. We're doing this, and.
Speaker 4: I'm really grateful that you made us do this and
Speaker 4: not made us, but encouraged us to have a book
Speaker 4: signing in Miami and brought out your community work at.
Speaker 1: Moms Miami is the shit.
Speaker 4: And just shout out to all the women and moms
Speaker 4: that came out to support us, and Mom Juice for
Speaker 4: supplying the wines because everybody knows moms love wine.
Speaker 1: I love the name Mom Juice. It's like the perfect wine.
Speaker 1: If I was gonna have a wine company, it would
Speaker 1: be called mom Juice or like mom Mama Juice. Or
Speaker 1: I can make some calls and so we can do
Speaker 1: good bad juice, good good bad wine, good wine. That
Speaker 1: is good wine.
Speaker 3: How good is everything? And our thing?
Speaker 1: So I mean, it was just lovely. It was lovely
Speaker 1: and thank you Nikki. You did, you did did the
Speaker 1: thing and make sure you guys go follow. Thank you Nikki.
Speaker 1: And I see why she's a doula And is that
Speaker 1: her Instagram thing? Thank you Nikki, so so appropriate. Yeah,
Speaker 1: she's a She's a black doula in Miami. And like,
Speaker 1: if I have a doula and I lived in Miami,
Speaker 1: NII would be my doula. Literally, Like she's the most compassionate,
Speaker 1: Like she just fucking cares.
Speaker 4: I don't even care that she's in Miami. When I
Speaker 4: get pregnant, her ass is coming to La.
Speaker 1: Okay, well we gotta get the same time so that
Speaker 1: we can just make it work.
Speaker 3: At one point, you.
Speaker 4: Know, we could just like pay for one fling. That's
Speaker 4: a good idea. Yeah, it's a good idea. We're really
Speaker 4: share a duela in a midwife and hold hands and push.
Speaker 1: That'd be beautiful. Did you enjoy your trip, my love?
Speaker 1: I did enjoy my trip. I had a great time.
Speaker 1: I've got to hang out with my friends. I realize
Speaker 1: how lucky I am. Always realize how lucky I am.
Speaker 1: But I have such an amazing group of friends and tribe,
Speaker 1: and that we just are all fucking nuts, and but
Speaker 1: we accept our nutsness and we love each other and
Speaker 1: we'd always no matter how annoying we are to one another,
Speaker 1: and we bicker and shit, we just get over it,
Speaker 1: we get past it, and that's that.
Speaker 3: That's true.
Speaker 4: We have a very unique friend group of friends, as
Speaker 4: you can imagine, very unique, very unique couple. And so
Speaker 4: the friends that embrace us are legitimately crazy and it's wonderful.
Speaker 4: And this weekend we had like a new two new
Speaker 4: people in the group because people got some new bows
Speaker 4: bows bows like what you never heard bo oh b
Speaker 4: e a U yeah, wow, wow, that's you're taking it.
Speaker 3: You're a real author these days, my love.
Speaker 1: It sounds very aw three anyway, that base not to
Speaker 1: be confused with bases or booze, but bos.
Speaker 4: They're the same, all of the same synonyms. And I
Speaker 4: was really concerned if they're going to be able to,
Speaker 4: you know, just slide in and not be alarmed at
Speaker 4: you know, the a'mount of titties pussy popping and you
Speaker 4: know it's working. That happened and everyone seemed fine, So
Speaker 4: it was it was really nice.
Speaker 1: Oh.
Speaker 4: Also side note, I got to meet my internet crush
Speaker 4: Derek to Grace.
Speaker 1: It's not his name. I looked on his Instagram, but
Speaker 1: it's not. He changed it Derek Grace too. What was
Speaker 1: it two before? I think so, unless I've been saying
Speaker 1: it wrong. But everybody did get to meet him, and
Speaker 1: the joy and the excitement. At first of all, I
Speaker 1: was like brain dead and I was watching Jamila and
Speaker 1: she said, so tell me.
Speaker 3: I was like, bitch, you know your nigga's sitting right here.
Speaker 1: Right I know, I have some things to ask. She
Speaker 1: was so excited, she was. She was like a kid
Speaker 1: at a candy store. I was like, he was fairly talking.
Speaker 1: He was, I mean, he was his woman was doing
Speaker 1: a lot of talking. But I was just like watching you.
Speaker 1: Was like, I was like, Wow, I'm so glad that
Speaker 1: you're here because I have I'm tired a whole lot
Speaker 1: to say.
Speaker 4: Well, the thing is, we were supposed to do a
Speaker 4: podcast with him. The bitch ass studio fucked up our slot,
Speaker 4: and so I was like, we have to make this happen.
Speaker 4: He first of all, he drove four hours to come see
Speaker 4: us to do the podcast that we didn't get to
Speaker 4: fucking do. And so I was like, we're going to
Speaker 4: breakfast and then I text Erica like, get your fucking
Speaker 4: ass up, because it's gonna be weird if I just go,
Speaker 4: come with me, bring your naggad, we're going.
Speaker 1: And we did, and he was very nice, very nice. Man.
Speaker 4: I'm already talking about we're gonna go out there and
Speaker 4: we're gonna make a vlog.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, what are you sidebarring with him? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Wow, and we're vlogging.
Speaker 4: We're gonna do a vlog and we're gonna shoot guns
Speaker 4: and take mushrooms and do fun things.
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, cool sounds great on compound, on the compound.
Speaker 1: So yeah, we had a really fun filled week in Miami.
Speaker 4: And did a lot, a lot of a lot of
Speaker 4: a lot of things, and yeah, I'm grateful every you know,
Speaker 4: we did an interview with someone from the Stacks podcast
Speaker 4: and she said, you guys live juicy lives, and you
Speaker 4: know what, no word has ever been truer. We live
Speaker 4: some juicy fucking lives. We do a lot of fun shit,
Speaker 4: and I'm very grateful. I'm an adventurer, so my life
Speaker 4: is panning out exactly how I wished it to be.
Speaker 3: Perfect.
Speaker 4: Anyway, more importantly, we're back in la and we have
Speaker 4: a very very very special guest with us.
Speaker 3: Dumb then.
Speaker 1: You guys, we have none other than health coach, mom
Speaker 1: preneur entrepreneurs, Mama preneur. I'm fucking separating, Mama preneur. I
Speaker 1: would say, like motivational speaker, even though I don't know
Speaker 1: how much motivation motivational speaking you do, but when I
Speaker 1: read your post, I feel motivated as fuck.
Speaker 3: Massie. Thank you ladies for having me.
Speaker 1: Welcome to the Good Mom Show.
Speaker 3: I'm so excited to be here. Really really cool, dope,
Speaker 3: laid back real ladies. Yeah, we just be chilling. We're
Speaker 3: like ten minutes away, so we'll be friends.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's that's basically why we bring everybody here is
Speaker 4: to like, come on our show, ak, be our friend.
Speaker 1: And be our friend and well and hands your life.
Speaker 1: You and hence mine. I'm like, I was looking at
Speaker 1: your page, I was like, I need those How do
Speaker 1: I get those apps? I'm like, wait, she doesn't diet,
Speaker 1: she eats regular. Wait, I'm like, oh my god, And
Speaker 1: like your body is just incredible, like what you've been
Speaker 1: able to like really do and focus in and just
Speaker 1: like it's so motivational.
Speaker 3: I'm like, fuck, I'm gonna get.
Speaker 1: The I was literally like a metre shit on the
Speaker 1: plane right now, and I was like, can't wait to
Speaker 1: get home and go to the gym.
Speaker 3: And I don't even do it in the body.
Speaker 1: I'm going to join the program. I know, well, I know,
Speaker 1: you know what I don't Really it's a byproduct. The
Speaker 1: body is a byproduct because even for me, ex size
Speaker 1: is mental health for me. When I don't do it,
Speaker 1: I realized I started becoming a fucked up person. Really,
Speaker 1: that's my mom juice. Do you drink or you don't drink?
Speaker 1: I barely see. I knew because this is the point
Speaker 1: of drinking. Who were just having this conversation like what's
Speaker 1: the point of drinking? If I'm going to have one drink?
Speaker 4: Like what does that do?
Speaker 3: No, I'm going to have two or three and then
Speaker 3: the next day you just feel like shit. Well maybe
Speaker 3: if maybe two will make you feel like shit? Right?
Speaker 3: What do you right? When you drink?
Speaker 1: What do you drink?
Speaker 3: I don't do wine.
Speaker 2: Wine just makes me feel negative and sleepy, and I
Speaker 2: just don't want to do anything. I do anything, It
Speaker 2: will be vodka on the rocks, no sugar, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: well see.
Speaker 4: Even in Miami, I we went out. I think, oh, yeah,
Speaker 4: when you when we left you that last night and
Speaker 4: we went to this to find this amazing afrobeats party.
Speaker 1: Oh really, yeah, it was amazing and they we have
Speaker 1: these drinks and they kept bringing these like I kept
Speaker 1: ordering drinks with pineapple juice and all these and it
Speaker 1: was like a slushy drink and it was delicious.
Speaker 3: It was like leachy.
Speaker 1: But as I'm drinking it, I was like, I can't
Speaker 1: drink any more fucking juice. I'm like I'm gonna throw up.
Speaker 1: And I literally like I can't taste like juice. I
Speaker 1: can't take it anymore. I was like, I and I'm
Speaker 1: not even really a big juice drinker. I find that
Speaker 1: man drink a lot of juice.
Speaker 3: Do you notice that.
Speaker 4: All the men in my life love juice, especially black men.
Speaker 4: They love juice.
Speaker 1: And so I'm more of like, you know, like little soda.
Speaker 1: But for some reason this trip, I was just going
Speaker 1: to all tropicals and I feel it.
Speaker 3: I'm like, in the.
Speaker 1: Morning, my head hurts. I'm like the hangovers worse.
Speaker 2: There you go.
Speaker 1: But also I don't really love alcohol without some for flavor.
Speaker 4: I tried to do a little splash, like give me
Speaker 4: splash pineapple, just a splash, not too much.
Speaker 1: So I just have a little bit bad.
Speaker 3: I agree, it's not from time to time.
Speaker 2: If it's the Ocasian and the vibe is there and
Speaker 2: my friends are there, I'm usually the sober one in
Speaker 2: the room, but I'll.
Speaker 3: Have we will be friends. Yeah, not necessarily.
Speaker 2: I have all this energy in me, and when you
Speaker 2: get to know me, I don't really need. You know,
Speaker 2: often when people why do you drink? It's just to
Speaker 2: loos enough.
Speaker 3: I'm loose. I'm good.
Speaker 2: I'm loose on myself. You're either gonna like me or
Speaker 2: you're gonna hate me. Usually people like me. So yeah,
Speaker 2: I tend not to, you know, drink too much, and
Speaker 2: then I can't do the other things. I feel, business,
Speaker 2: the daughter. Everything just has to be in line. No,
Speaker 2: And you know what, me and Mila had an episode.
Speaker 2: We were talking about j Lo and Sierra and we
Speaker 2: were like, they don't drink and that's why they're beautiful.
Speaker 3: It was, how are we ever going to look like Jaylo?
Speaker 3: And is the era We've got to stop drinking? Ages?
Speaker 1: I I go through phases so I'm like, I'm like
Speaker 1: I'm a yo yo er, which is why I'm reading
Speaker 1: your thing. I was like, oh god, I know I
Speaker 1: even well in December I kind of went like cold
Speaker 1: turkey everything. But I was really patient with my diet.
Speaker 1: I didn't like deprive myself and I just like I
Speaker 1: did eight mostly hell and I was like, Wow, this
Speaker 1: feels so much better, Like this is this is sustainable,
Speaker 1: not like these other things that I've done. I've done
Speaker 1: these extreme diets. Remember after I had my daughter, I
Speaker 1: went on this what the fuck is his name?
Speaker 3: Something Freeman, some.
Speaker 1: Guy, and he, oh, you know I'm talking about I
Speaker 1: know everyone in the Finnis worlds knows him or you know,
Speaker 1: know each other, but him and his girl they have
Speaker 1: like these like you know, these diets that they do,
Speaker 1: and they was so extreme, like I had to eat
Speaker 1: salmon like seven times a day, yeah, for one week
Speaker 1: straight to put my body in kotosis. And then it's
Speaker 1: like when you're it's like when you're just automatically or
Speaker 1: burning fat all the time kind.
Speaker 2: Of right, Let's just say if you cannot sustain it
Speaker 2: for the rest of your life, it's just something you're
Speaker 2: doing short term that may affect you. So it's not
Speaker 2: that you have to eat less is that you have
Speaker 2: to just build a better relationship with food, so I'll
Speaker 2: help you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, my relationship with food is not good. I think
Speaker 1: because I've early on in my going to school with
Speaker 1: mostly white girls, my body was always different. I was
Speaker 1: always curvy, so I was always like judging myself and
Speaker 1: feeling like I was bigger than everyone. And then on
Speaker 1: top of that, I was acting when I was a
Speaker 1: child and doing modeling, so I was just always kind
Speaker 1: of very aware of my body early on, and so
Speaker 1: because of that, I was constantly like comparing myself and
Speaker 1: that as an adult, like Okay, I need to like
Speaker 1: be a certain weight, I need to fit into this.
Speaker 1: So it's been like an extreme thing where like I'm
Speaker 1: either like on an extreme diet or like I'm overeating,
Speaker 1: and then in some points I find balance. And with
Speaker 1: that specific diet that I went on, I just remember
Speaker 1: I wanted to throw up. I was like, how the
Speaker 1: fuck I can't eat?
Speaker 3: I didn't.
Speaker 1: I couldn't eat salmon for two years after that. No,
Speaker 1: Literally I would smell it and.
Speaker 2: Be like, Oh, That's the crazy thing is that's the
Speaker 2: perception that most people have about health and wellness and
Speaker 2: about looking better and feeling better. I mean, I'm getting
Speaker 2: really serious when I know about wellness. I'm really serious.
Speaker 3: This is my passion, right, So mentally, like you just
Speaker 3: have to be away.
Speaker 2: You're what you do most of the time, not what
Speaker 2: you do some of the time. Right, And if you
Speaker 2: empower people with education, no gimmicks, you have to do
Speaker 2: something that is going to be sustainable. Understanding your lifestyle,
Speaker 2: applying different philosophies of maybe eating, exercising to your lifestyle.
Speaker 2: Sometimes we put ourselves into a box trying to do
Speaker 2: something that is completely alien to what fits us, what
Speaker 2: makes us feel good culturally, lifestyle wise, where we are right,
Speaker 2: and what we are able to manage. Like busy moms,
Speaker 2: you have to know how to work out so that
Speaker 2: you're able to have enough energy to do everything else
Speaker 2: that you do. So just you know a process and
Speaker 2: you were giving this big brain and as a woman,
Speaker 2: we're incredible. Learn learn about your bodies, learn about yourself,
Speaker 2: don't follow your intuition what feels good. So over the
Speaker 2: past eleven years, I've just fine tuned what that feels like.
Speaker 2: And the nail popped off, speaking of So, before I
Speaker 2: came in Jesus Christ, I was I really tried. I
Speaker 2: do so many things and people think I'm a robot,
Speaker 2: but I'm trying to simplify my life.
Speaker 3: And I just realized that I just lost a nail. There.
Speaker 1: You don't don't give up on press out on nails
Speaker 1: because I've you just didn't glue them.
Speaker 3: I just didn't glue them.
Speaker 1: Yeah, did any glateos pressed them on?
Speaker 3: No? I did it a little bit, but I just did.
Speaker 2: You know, I'm on this all natural, leaving my hair
Speaker 2: all natural, simplifying my life. Therefore, I can do so
Speaker 2: many other things, which brings me to the next point.
Speaker 2: You know, if you are a business woman, you have
Speaker 2: your kids looking perfect all the time. It's an idea
Speaker 2: that we'd subscribing to you on socials, but it's not.
Speaker 2: You know, the reality is, before I came here, I
Speaker 2: already had a whole entire meeting, woke up at four thirty,
Speaker 2: dropped off my daughter at school, had to get ready
Speaker 2: and do it myself and press on these nails so
Speaker 2: I can be here with you amazing ladies. So you know,
Speaker 2: you just have to do what feels right for you
Speaker 2: and understand that sometimes, depending on the season, you're not
Speaker 2: gonna have it all right, But you will have seasons
Speaker 2: in which you can plan yourself to potentially feel like
Speaker 2: you have it all for the year, for you know,
Speaker 2: or whatever duration it is. Because life is not a
Speaker 2: racist baby.
Speaker 3: You got time.
Speaker 1: We do, we do.
Speaker 3: Wait, so who is Massy eleven years ago?
Speaker 4: Like?
Speaker 1: How did you get into this? How did you get
Speaker 1: into this wellness thing? Have you always been like wellness conscious?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 3: Not at all.
Speaker 2: When people see me now, they think I had an
Speaker 2: athletic background, that I was in sports.
Speaker 1: For you, worry girl, because I was watching a clip
Speaker 1: of you and this guy on the beach. He was
Speaker 1: like working out with your best friend, and I was like,
Speaker 1: this bitch was a track star for sure.
Speaker 2: I started because of body dysmorphia and depression. I wanted
Speaker 2: to die at some point, just to give you the
Speaker 2: short story, and witness pretty much saved me.
Speaker 3: It really just I found my passion.
Speaker 2: I you know, I was at a point in my
Speaker 2: life where I needed to change my brain chemistream did
Speaker 2: to change, and I found something that I started to
Speaker 2: do for myself, just like you guys started. It was
Speaker 2: never I was never. I never intended to be a business.
Speaker 2: I never intended to be a career. But I was experiencing.
Speaker 3: Depression that took my entire life, so I gave up
Speaker 3: on everything. You know, at the time.
Speaker 2: I emancipated when I was seventeen years old. I came
Speaker 2: to the country from the Caribbean Dominican when I was thirteen.
Speaker 2: Two of my brothers came with me, and by the
Speaker 2: time I was graduating high school, my brother gets diagnosed
Speaker 2: with stage four kidslinghoma is a form of cancer, and.
Speaker 3: Maybe this happens.
Speaker 2: I'm not going to speak on I'm going to speak
Speaker 2: on my culture. But everything it's put on the female,
Speaker 2: right the boys. You know, we create all the boys.
Speaker 2: Everything was put on the females. I was pretty much
Speaker 2: the only one who acclimitted to the culture coming in.
Speaker 2: My brothers didn't, but I did. I was very studious
Speaker 2: from I love to learn.
Speaker 3: Did you come here to California? No? New York? Okay,
Speaker 3: that's where we all end up on the East Coast.
Speaker 1: That's what I thought.
Speaker 3: I thought. I was like, I can't heals New York.
Speaker 2: You ever in Miami, you feel these these East colored vibes,
Speaker 2: even though I've been here in LA for nine years.
Speaker 2: But ultimately, just to give you the short story. You
Speaker 2: can go to my website and see the full documentary.
Speaker 2: I Fitness saved my life. Most people, I come from
Speaker 2: the Caribbean, we have the highest rate, the highest percentages
Speaker 2: of diabetes and hypertension Latinos of all Latinos, right, and
Speaker 2: I I didn't. Even though I grew up doing music,
Speaker 2: ballet here and there, fitness was never a thing that
Speaker 2: females did.
Speaker 1: Right.
Speaker 3: And once I started.
Speaker 2: Feeling what I was feeling, I mean, at seventeen, I
Speaker 2: had the responsibility of my brother not going to the
Speaker 2: school that I wanted to that I work really really
Speaker 2: hard to acclimate to the country. I had to quit
Speaker 2: it all for my brother for a whole entire year
Speaker 2: and a half, and I started changing my life the
Speaker 2: way that I was eating. Most people do not know
Speaker 2: that I have a blood condition that causes my asthma.
Speaker 2: So I couldn't even perform sports because I had a reaction, right, And.
Speaker 3: I literally started.
Speaker 2: At the time, a boyfriend of mine, my first boyfriend
Speaker 2: I ended up in good hands with, who is now
Speaker 2: one of my best friends, was a personal trainer, and
Speaker 2: I fell into this DEPRESSI where I mean, I'm almost
Speaker 2: five nine, I'm tall, right, and I went down to
Speaker 2: maybe one hundred and fourteen pounds to my lowest, looking
Speaker 2: almost anorexic, loosing all my hair, my gums. I mean,
Speaker 2: now it's coming back, thank God, after the baby.
Speaker 3: But I was lost. I quit school, I dropped out.
Speaker 3: I just didn't want to do anything I lived.
Speaker 2: I lived that crazy life that you would never think
Speaker 2: eleven years now the person that I've become, and everything
Speaker 2: I did was to help myself be a different person. Mentally,
Speaker 2: I was weak. I felt weak mentally, and even my
Speaker 2: emotional intelligence wasn't there. Right, So when I say that
Speaker 2: I fitness, I didn't do it for the body, even
Speaker 2: though I had body this morphia. Because I'm from the Caribbe,
Speaker 2: I'm supposed to have curbs. I'm supposed to and I'm
Speaker 2: here an ectomore. Most people do not know as well.
Speaker 2: I have to do very hard things to keep a
Speaker 2: little bit of weight right. So coincidentally, you know, I
Speaker 2: just started doing doing training little by little. I couldn't
Speaker 2: even run a block without losing my breath and having
Speaker 2: an asthma attack, right, And I started sharing my journey
Speaker 2: little by little, and then it just became something huge. Wow,
Speaker 2: Because I was speaking out of honesty, So people followed
Speaker 2: a journey. It's very difficult to do that now, right,
Speaker 2: But back then, when Instagram it was just a filter
Speaker 2: app and it started to develop, people were following my
Speaker 2: journey and they were relating to what I was feeling.
Speaker 2: Because I've been extremely open about my entire life. Right,
Speaker 2: it's only up until three years ago that I've had
Speaker 2: to remain very quiet and very private for reasons that
Speaker 2: we're going to probably we talk about later on. But
Speaker 2: I fell in love with fitness. What it did to
Speaker 2: my brain, what it did to my confidence. I get
Speaker 2: goosebumps still talking about that story, because I will never
Speaker 2: go back. What you feel when you I mean looking
Speaker 2: back eleven years ago, Oh my god, I was like
Speaker 2: a marionette to what we call today the I guess
Speaker 2: like the system, you know, this shoe box that you
Speaker 2: have to feel these ideas. I had to open up
Speaker 2: my mind about a lot of things. In fitness really
Speaker 2: truly gave me power and for a.
Speaker 3: Very long time.
Speaker 2: Once I got in the groove of things that I
Speaker 2: just wanted to mentally feel better, and all was doing
Speaker 2: was like cardio and doing things that going outside, going
Speaker 2: for walks, I started working on my strength because I
Speaker 2: felt weak mentally and physically. And the strength that you
Speaker 2: see and everything that I do today has stemmed from
Speaker 2: that very beginning, the confidence that fitness gives you. And
Speaker 2: I've always been this way always. I want to be
Speaker 2: the best and see the fullest potential that I can be.
Speaker 3: Period. So that's how it all started. No, fitness is
Speaker 3: very important.
Speaker 2: I teach it, I coach it, and I do it
Speaker 2: in a way that is bs free, Well we can
Speaker 2: say bullshit free. I'm not going to be the person
Speaker 2: that is going to tell you what you want to
Speaker 2: hear or sell you a dream. I'm going to give
Speaker 2: you the tools so that we can slowly find a
Speaker 2: process to get you up to speed and take your
Speaker 2: power back with your body, with your health, with I
Speaker 2: mean most of the things that I do is now
Speaker 2: life coaching, because it sounds like therapy.
Speaker 1: It sounds like it's like a therapy, which I think
Speaker 1: in nately, I think once you start getting into shape
Speaker 1: and start working on your body or it, eventually it
Speaker 1: inevitably also starts to affect your mind or train your
Speaker 1: mind in a way.
Speaker 3: Yeah, in a capacity you know if you let it.
Speaker 1: But you know, sometimes I mean, as you know, and
Speaker 1: if you're listening, like I get it, like I'm one
Speaker 1: of those people that is like on their fitness journey
Speaker 1: and I'm like, oh my god.
Speaker 3: I feel so fucking good. I feel amazing, and.
Speaker 1: Like one thing comes into my life to kind of
Speaker 1: like say, put a wrench in it real quick, and
Speaker 1: then it's like am I going to take the wrench
Speaker 1: or I'm going to go And then I don't know,
Speaker 1: like it's it's always the consistence is the consistency for me,
Speaker 1: And I don't know why it's so hard to take
Speaker 1: care of yourself. It's not, but it feels like it
Speaker 1: is in this, in this in the day that in
Speaker 1: the space and time that ran with our being moms,
Speaker 1: being entrepreneurs, Like I want to travel, Like, oh shit,
Speaker 1: I'm going to go away for a week. How am
Speaker 1: I going to make sure that I stay active in
Speaker 1: that week? And then I come back and I'm not
Speaker 1: making excuses. O god, I'll go back in a few days.
Speaker 5: You know.
Speaker 1: It's really like the commitment to yourself like anything like
Speaker 1: whether that's therapy, whether that's you know, you're building something
Speaker 1: that you're that you're passionate about and also like taking
Speaker 1: care of this thing, only now we only get one
Speaker 1: of I think if I see people. I was on
Speaker 1: the airplane today and there was this woman. She didn't
Speaker 1: even look that old, but like she needed to get
Speaker 1: up a wheelchair, and I was like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: Like I'm so grateful that my legs work, like you
Speaker 1: take for granted, like just little things that just come
Speaker 1: naturally until you don't have that shit because he I mean,
Speaker 1: it should happens. But also like you know, because it's
Speaker 1: your own, because of yourself. We don't become old because
Speaker 1: we age.
Speaker 2: We become old because we stop moving and doing the
Speaker 2: things that are going to keep us young and keep
Speaker 2: us sexy.
Speaker 3: There has to be some sort of vanity that you
Speaker 3: have to have in.
Speaker 2: Self respect and self worth that you look at yourself
Speaker 2: and you learn how to cope in the right ways.
Speaker 2: I mean, I could grab the glass of wine. I
Speaker 2: mean it's easy when when you don't have other tools
Speaker 2: to manage with your children. I mean it raising a
Speaker 2: child on your own as a single mom is it's
Speaker 2: already hard. So learning the tools to be able to
Speaker 2: be more efficient in and troubleshoot what you want, it
Speaker 2: takes planning right. But these things are doable. So that's
Speaker 2: what fitness teaches you in the beginning if you've never
Speaker 2: done it. Because imagine, like I've been verbally abused let
Speaker 2: other people, I would say, you don't you allow people
Speaker 2: to make you feel certain things, you know, not even
Speaker 2: loving my body for.
Speaker 3: What it was, for who I was. So think about
Speaker 3: emotional abuse, all of it. Now you can't do that.
Speaker 2: There's even now because most people ask me if I'm
Speaker 2: dating and whatnot and prospects. It's like you have to
Speaker 2: come correct because I know from a mile away what
Speaker 2: you're bringing to the table, and that's okay with me.
Speaker 3: You know, it's okay with me. I'm still single and
Speaker 3: will be for a very long time.
Speaker 4: Yeah. It's like if you're not if you're not aware
Speaker 4: of your self worth, then you're more susceptible to emotional abuse,
Speaker 4: you know, because then you believe it. If you don't
Speaker 4: know who you are, which you know what you are,
Speaker 4: people can say is anything to you and then it'll
Speaker 4: affect you. But I'm reading a book and it discusses
Speaker 4: like specifically how women are loved from like childhood into
Speaker 4: adulthood and that you know, we generally don't have complexes
Speaker 4: with our bodies until puberty, and at that point we're
Speaker 4: we kind of be we kind of adopt the understanding
Speaker 4: that we have to show up a certain way in
Speaker 4: our bodies, and then our self worth is tied to that.
Speaker 4: And then that's when like at puberty, at your mom
Speaker 4: is like put on earrings or you're not dressing like
Speaker 4: a lady, or like there's this like at puberty, you
Speaker 4: start to understand how your appearance affects your worth and
Speaker 4: like even like I'm skinny, you're curvy, and like having
Speaker 4: even having such different body types, we're all affected by
Speaker 4: society's standard of what beauty is and how you're supposed
Speaker 4: to show up. And then like that, you know, if
Speaker 4: it doesn't look like this, and you're too skinny, if
Speaker 4: you're too if you're to this, then you're to that.
Speaker 4: And it's just like how those standards start to like
Speaker 4: warp how you feel about yourself, and like we're all
Speaker 4: beautiful women and we're all gonna look differently, but like
Speaker 4: how you feel is generally like the most the most
Speaker 4: important catalyst of everything else. You know, It's like you
Speaker 4: might be thicker than you know, and I might be skinny,
Speaker 4: and I've been skinny for my whole life and I'm
Speaker 4: still and also like felt like too skinny and not
Speaker 4: curvy enough, and like, but it's just crazy how if
Speaker 4: you're not aware of who you are and and really
Speaker 4: just taking care of yourself, you can easily be told anything.
Speaker 2: And what's funny is because it's cultural too, in our culture,
Speaker 2: blacks and browns or curvy, right, this is why bbls
Speaker 2: are very popular, popular, right, But at the end of
Speaker 2: the day, it's not the bl that's going to maintain
Speaker 2: a family together.
Speaker 1: Right.
Speaker 2: You can have all the surgeries in the world and
Speaker 2: have the nicest body in the world is you. So
Speaker 2: it's how you show up for yourself is what you
Speaker 2: do every single day that it's it is self self
Speaker 2: love and self worth goes far beyond than what you
Speaker 2: look like.
Speaker 3: And I always say we should never be in denial,
Speaker 3: you know, and there's a lot of us who are
Speaker 3: in denial. At the end of the day, you you
Speaker 3: know what you have to do to get on the
Speaker 3: other side. How how you get to the.
Speaker 2: Other side, right, is what's important because at the end
Speaker 2: of a day, like I'm referring it back to saying like,
Speaker 2: you know who you are, you accentuate the you know
Speaker 2: your body the way that you want to accentuate it. Right,
Speaker 2: So if you don't, if you're not where you want
Speaker 2: to be, then let's fix it. And let's fix it
Speaker 2: from an area that comes from love instead of hate.
Speaker 2: Right like, okay, Like, let's not be a denial girl
Speaker 2: like you let yourself go ooh, I'm here to help together.
Speaker 2: Let's go, let's do this, right, Let's get you back
Speaker 2: to being who you feel like you want to be.
Speaker 2: And he's transcending even body types.
Speaker 1: Right. Well, we give this thing on our show where
Speaker 1: we play a little game called Trigger and I would
Speaker 1: love to play with you to get to know you
Speaker 1: a little better quickly. Basically, I say a word and
Speaker 1: then you say the first thing that comes to your mind. Okay,
Speaker 1: don't overthink it, you might get nasty. And when's your birthday?
Speaker 1: That's part of trigger base is Yeah, it is in
Speaker 1: this one, okay, because it's never been in there before.
Speaker 3: You want my son, my moon, my you don't give
Speaker 3: us a la.
Speaker 1: We might as well, what is it?
Speaker 3: Actually?
Speaker 1: What is it?
Speaker 3: Oh God turner?
Speaker 2: Actually, but my son is in sash Okay my moon
Speaker 2: is in Gemini. Oh my my venus instant Scorpio.
Speaker 3: Okay, which you're rising? Do you're rising?
Speaker 5: Oh?
Speaker 3: Your fire baby?
Speaker 1: Yeah, but you're so you're you're rising and your sun
Speaker 1: are our fire and then your moon is what's Gemini air? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I don't know what the Andrew Latina, you're a fucking firecracker.
Speaker 1: The hate of what fire signs?
Speaker 3: Which is a sign?
Speaker 4: Air signs?
Speaker 1: Specifically Geminii. He's an Aquarius. Oh, I love Aquariuses. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean I think there's specific signs that do. I
Speaker 1: always say like it's the unhealed versions of these signs.
Speaker 1: And granted not everyone's no one's healed, right, but like
Speaker 1: the ones that have you haven't even been no acknowledge
Speaker 1: that they needed to do any sort of work at all.
Speaker 1: Those are the ones you gotta be careful. Those are
Speaker 1: the terrifying ones because I'm a Scorpio, and Scorpios, you
Speaker 1: know we are. We're already kind of like, you know,
Speaker 1: we're a little tricky. So when do you even say
Speaker 1: tricky not tricky like like sneaky. Well, yes, but if
Speaker 1: you're done wrong, yeah, but I think you know, we
Speaker 1: can just be evil in ways and there's certain signs
Speaker 1: that don't really have evil in them, you know, you know,
Speaker 1: and so I you know cancer too because she's cancer.
Speaker 1: Very highly emotional you know too, Like just as much
Speaker 1: as a scorpio bitch. I'm not saying that highly emotional
Speaker 1: aspect you are working on yourself can come out hateful.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So I feel like, especially with the men.
Speaker 3: It's like my dad. My dad is a scorpio. He's
Speaker 3: the coolest guy. Yeah, but walk correct.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he'll love you until he don't until you do
Speaker 2: something wrong and then that's it.
Speaker 1: Ye, ghosted.
Speaker 3: For life.
Speaker 1: I could do that.
Speaker 3: Okay, here we go, let's play trigger guys.
Speaker 1: Bad habits have so many I was gonna say, you
Speaker 1: don't have any bad habits.
Speaker 3: Trying to save people?
Speaker 1: Captain save ah, that's like that part bad habits of
Speaker 1: just women and everyone, because I don't with all the
Speaker 1: red flags like are there for you, are men.
Speaker 3: Doing a lot of saving? No?
Speaker 1: I don't think so. Yeah, I mean maybe like financially
Speaker 1: sometimes it makes them feel good, but that saving like
Speaker 1: like brand building of a human that's women's women marriage,
Speaker 1: not those eyes marriage, she said, slavery.
Speaker 2: A mutual contract, motherhood Jesus is supposed to be quick
Speaker 2: on the best thing that ever happened to me. Religion agnostic,
Speaker 2: but very Christian?
Speaker 1: Is an agnostic Christian? You don't believe.
Speaker 3: But it's not that I'm believing. But we don't know.
Speaker 3: You don't know. We just don't know. We just don't know.
Speaker 3: But I am. I'm a child of God, very Christian,
Speaker 3: born in a very Orthodox That don't make no sense.
Speaker 3: How are you going to be a child of God?
Speaker 2: Very Christian? But you're agnostic? Agnostic? Because think about this,
Speaker 2: if you're a Muslim, do I hate you?
Speaker 3: Well?
Speaker 1: Do you think if you choose a religion you have
Speaker 1: to hate them, hate one of them?
Speaker 3: Well? But most Orthodox religions.
Speaker 2: They are there's a hierarchy, and for me, we don't
Speaker 2: know we have If you understand world religion, we're all
Speaker 2: saying that something higher exists and we're all creating our
Speaker 2: different stories. But at the end of the day, most religions,
Speaker 2: God is love. So I am not going to hate
Speaker 2: on another religion, hate on another person because I am
Speaker 2: believing in my opinioned opinion of what is up there.
Speaker 2: So that's what I mean when I say agnostic. I
Speaker 2: can sit down with anyone and hear you out and
Speaker 2: continue to learn. But at the end of a day,
Speaker 2: we don't know. We don't know what's up there and
Speaker 2: what's waiting. What we do know is that we are
Speaker 2: all made out of flesh, and even though we want
Speaker 2: to be different and differentiate ourselves from whether it's cultural, ethnicity, race,
Speaker 2: believes political, at the end of a day, we all
Speaker 2: go through one thing that will have in common. It's
Speaker 2: human experienced and death exactly. So that's what I mean,
Speaker 2: got it. I know what I know, and I follow
Speaker 2: what I follow, but technically we do not know. So
Speaker 2: are you also open to adopting certain belief systems of
Speaker 2: other religions that they resonate with you?
Speaker 3: Well, if you look at oh we're going at home,
Speaker 3: my mom is going to kill me upset, but she
Speaker 3: as well has opened herself to being more receptive. So
Speaker 3: what would you ask me?
Speaker 2: Again?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 1: I was just asking if would you be open to
Speaker 1: adopting a other belief systems and of other religions if
Speaker 1: they resonated with you?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, cool, Like being kind and loving your neighbor, yeah,
Speaker 1: or like I don't know, whatever it is, like certain
Speaker 1: rituals or belief systems in general, like you know, okay, monogamy, tradition,
Speaker 1: open relationship, good luck, childhood, special h your childhood, wonderful, obesity,
Speaker 1: preventive health, priority, cannabis, and a loos like man, black women, gorgeous?
Speaker 1: Favorite artist dead or alive? We're doing this, favorite artists live.
Speaker 1: I would say.
Speaker 3: Jesus Christ. That is just hard. I was like, Jesus,
Speaker 3: what song he got? I'm just so ambiguous with my
Speaker 3: with my what him? I would say, I mean total
Speaker 3: pad which I will say Bruno Mars. Okay, he was
Speaker 3: so talented.
Speaker 1: I was expecting Bruno.
Speaker 2: Bruno Mars is like an all like old time. You know,
Speaker 2: you can just put it anywhere, listen to it. He's
Speaker 2: just like whether you're crying, hyped up, motivated.
Speaker 1: Did you have you seen his documentary where he was
Speaker 1: like a little Elvis impersonator as a child on the islands. No, yes,
Speaker 1: he was an Elvis impersonator, like a tiny Elvis impersonator,
Speaker 1: like seven years old Hawaii, maybe the younger six in Hawaii. Yeah.
Speaker 3: He would get hired for parties and he was the best.
Speaker 1: That's hilarious. That's why he has that You know he
Speaker 1: got that little do wop soul ship going on.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna change my mind. I'm an artist. I would
Speaker 3: say one who one Luis Gera Louise.
Speaker 2: If you're if I'm going on the Spanish inside, you
Speaker 2: gotta go there.
Speaker 3: He would be the ultimate. Okay is he still alive?
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, okay, he's still popping? Oh? Is he cute?
Speaker 3: I mean not like that?
Speaker 2: Well you just said it like international were like, I
Speaker 2: was like, do I need to look at he know,
Speaker 2: he's like a dad.
Speaker 3: To turn on.
Speaker 2: Intelligence, turn off arrogance, masturbation, needed, threesomes, good.
Speaker 3: Luck, favorite.
Speaker 1: Goods that fire.
Speaker 3: She's like, it's my good luck. Not I don't share? Uh, anal,
Speaker 3: why not if you're with your partner? Why not?
Speaker 1: Favorite porn category?
Speaker 3: I don't help one. You don't watch porn? Yeah, it's
Speaker 3: not for everybody.
Speaker 2: Uh.
Speaker 3: Favorite position It all depends in love.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like in love or like casual sex or two
Speaker 1: different ones.
Speaker 3: I mean I don't know what cassual sex is.
Speaker 1: Okay, favorite position in overall sex missionary visionary looking at
Speaker 1: as it's yeah, it's it's it's intimacy.
Speaker 3: It's about intimacy.
Speaker 1: That's a scorpia venus.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, if you break eye contact, I can't trust you.
Speaker 3: Oh you can't look at me. It's over.
Speaker 1: Therapy. Essential celebrity crush, m.
Speaker 3: Am. I weird that I don't have any like celebrity.
Speaker 1: I mean now it's not met some people that I
Speaker 1: really that I had.
Speaker 2: A crush on and it was a disappointment. So I
Speaker 2: don't have any crushes per se, because I need to
Speaker 2: know who you are as a person. Do you have
Speaker 2: an I'm a sapiosexual. Do you have any brushes right
Speaker 2: now in real life?
Speaker 4: Yes?
Speaker 3: You do? I do? Oh just one?
Speaker 2: Yeah, couple, I have a couple, right And I'm just
Speaker 2: seeing how you're gonna You know, this is a scorpio vibe.
Speaker 2: You just take it's low and see if you're down
Speaker 2: for the long ride.
Speaker 3: How has it takes me a lot to trust people?
Speaker 3: How has dating been as a single mom? Because you
Speaker 3: were married a joke? You were married before?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 3: Yes?
Speaker 1: And how long were you married?
Speaker 3: For? Three years? Sure? Were you guys with each other
Speaker 3: prior to that for a good amount of time as well?
Speaker 2: Years?
Speaker 1: Eight years and then three years married? Yeah, so no,
Speaker 1: not eight years total?
Speaker 3: Eight years? Nine years total. Three of those were married.
Speaker 3: That's a long time in your a very long time.
Speaker 2: And I feel like I don't know how old you are,
Speaker 2: but like in a I'm about to be thirty five
Speaker 2: this year Club listen, thirty five is a different thirty five.
Speaker 1: It is, I mean because even my relationship, I was
Speaker 1: with my partner for seven years. We got together when
Speaker 1: I was twenty two, so he took up all of
Speaker 1: my twenties pretty much, like from twenty two to thirty,
Speaker 1: you know, And so those are like such integral, moste
Speaker 1: parts of your life, those twenties, you know. So I
Speaker 1: was it's it shaped me in ways you're naive still, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: So coming out of your marriage, like how what was
Speaker 1: what was that?
Speaker 3: Like?
Speaker 1: I mean, I guess choosing to not be married anymore.
Speaker 1: I mean, at least for me, Like there was a
Speaker 1: definitely like a moment in my relationship where I was
Speaker 1: extremely happy for a long period of time. And I
Speaker 1: talk about that too, and even in our book, I say,
Speaker 1: like there were years in which I was totally happy.
Speaker 1: I was blissfully Like me and my partner we don't argue,
Speaker 1: like everything's perfect, like he's mean to other people, but
Speaker 1: never to me, I say the attention how people treat others,
Speaker 1: I know, well, you know, well.
Speaker 3: It's it was.
Speaker 1: I was a dumbach just like, oh my god, I'm
Speaker 1: special and be charismatic, and he was extremely charismatic and funny.
Speaker 1: So there were all a lot of things that kind
Speaker 1: of balance those things out, you know. And you know
Speaker 1: we we're young too, and so is he in ways,
Speaker 1: so like there will be challenges, and.
Speaker 2: From a very young age, I've always been the same.
Speaker 2: I don't think you know, I think we evolve our
Speaker 2: personality traits. But I'm very independent. I'm a learner. I
Speaker 2: love to learn, and I'm just a force to be
Speaker 2: reckoned with in everything that I do. That's how my
Speaker 2: parents race me. They raised me with a lot of
Speaker 2: They gave me a lot of confidence. You're gonna be great,
Speaker 2: You're gonna do great things. They they always instilled that
Speaker 2: in me, especially my dad, until I was on the
Speaker 2: other path.
Speaker 3: He just is o me, but for other path for
Speaker 3: a good reason, right, because I had to learn right.
Speaker 3: So I think.
Speaker 2: People grow apart. And for me, the concept of marriage
Speaker 2: was very important because if I was going to get married,
Speaker 2: it's for life, okay, But that those were not my circumstances.
Speaker 3: I didn't get married for those reasons.
Speaker 2: I looked at my daughter and I said, is this
Speaker 2: the version of MASSI that you want your daughter to
Speaker 2: grow up with? Absolutely not. My daughter is not going
Speaker 2: to have this idea of me. And he was very
Speaker 2: hard to do because you don't want to break that dynamic.
Speaker 2: When people get together, you know their weaknesses and their strengths.
Speaker 2: It's not like you're weak in this point and I'm
Speaker 2: strong in this point, and now I have to feel
Speaker 2: a certain way.
Speaker 3: But you put those strengths together.
Speaker 2: Usually that weakness that you have may be your partner strengths,
Speaker 2: right and vice verse, So you work together to grow.
Speaker 3: And that never happened.
Speaker 2: So I felt like I kept growing and growing and
Speaker 2: growing and demanding the best version of myself and just
Speaker 2: doing that and just being I'm very just open, like, hey,
Speaker 2: do you I'm just gonna continue to do me. But
Speaker 2: let this never stop, because I'm never going to stop
Speaker 2: being Mossy. And when I'm silenced, that's when it's everything
Speaker 2: just fell apart and it was not amicable, and I'm
Speaker 2: still dealing with the repercussions of that, and it's it's tough,
Speaker 2: and it's tough to be tough because usually people don't
Speaker 2: see like, hey, I'm a human. I have all these
Speaker 2: emotions that I can't even share with you right now,
Speaker 2: but I have to remain strong for my daughter because
Speaker 2: I had to run and start from scratch and rebuild myself.
Speaker 2: So from the from the behind the scenes, my following,
Speaker 2: my tribe, I call my my my following, my tribe.
Speaker 2: We have connected for X amount of years, eleven years,
Speaker 2: and you you see this person just over sometimes oversharing,
Speaker 2: but oversharing from a point that he's going to be
Speaker 2: helpful to another person, and then he just went cold.
Speaker 2: There's no sharing, there's no anything.
Speaker 1: Was that Was that because you chose to do that
Speaker 1: or you felt like you had to protect your relationship
Speaker 1: or protect what was going on without influence or craving silence?
Speaker 1: Was it was he was?
Speaker 4: Did you feel like he was like prohibiting you from
Speaker 4: like just interacting in a way that you generally would.
Speaker 3: Have No, I would say most you know, we had
Speaker 3: this conversation off before you arrived. But it's you see
Speaker 3: this a lot in the black and brown communities.
Speaker 2: Usually when breakups happened, there's a lot of he said,
Speaker 2: she said, And then you have to protect the other sides,
Speaker 2: protect your family. You have a family that's grieving what's happening.
Speaker 2: You also have a daughter or a child that eventually
Speaker 2: is going to see this and he's going to impact them.
Speaker 2: So I just didn't want to speak on something that
Speaker 2: I was still processing. You're unhappy in a relationship. Relationships,
Speaker 2: you have to work and if you're unhappy, let's work
Speaker 2: on the things that we're unhappy about.
Speaker 3: And let's putting the hard work now.
Speaker 2: If you don't want to put in that heart work
Speaker 2: and we are both them happy at least I was unhappy,
Speaker 2: then it's time to break ties and we can do
Speaker 2: it amicably. But again, breaking ties would mean what would
Speaker 2: that mean? That now we're breaking up what we had together?
Speaker 2: But it was fine by me because I can start
Speaker 2: from scratch and no problem, right, and I can continue
Speaker 2: to work with you in that capacity we were a
Speaker 2: great team. Okay, If if we were a great team, great,
Speaker 2: we can continue this. All I want is my freedom
Speaker 2: because I don't want to be in this marriage. This
Speaker 2: is not working for me, and this is not making
Speaker 2: me happy, and this is not how I want to
Speaker 2: raise my daughter right.
Speaker 3: But we I really tried, and we tried right. So
Speaker 3: eventually when I rebuild everything I.
Speaker 2: Had to learn, I didn't have the time to go
Speaker 2: on social media and explain these things that were just
Speaker 2: unfolding so slow, and it was so aggressive and emotional,
Speaker 2: and I just couldn't because that time that I allocated
Speaker 2: it to the noise.
Speaker 3: I call it noise and call, and it was very painful.
Speaker 3: That time. I was losing time on how am I
Speaker 3: going to rebuild myself? Where do I put this energy?
Speaker 3: I had to put it on myself to process how.
Speaker 2: Anyone going in like relationship, It takes two, takes two
Speaker 2: to make it work, takes two to mess it up
Speaker 2: as well. So I'm not in denial. You have to
Speaker 2: take into account what you put in your role, you know,
Speaker 2: and exactly until you were.
Speaker 3: Just like, well, I guess I've been really doing all
Speaker 3: the wrong things and this is not working.
Speaker 2: So I'm out.
Speaker 3: And it's okay. It's okay for things not to be permanent.
Speaker 2: It's okay to outgrow each other and to say let's
Speaker 2: go our separate ways, let's not take this personal and
Speaker 2: just let's see how can we amicably continue our life
Speaker 2: and continue to raise our daughter and whatnot. But this
Speaker 2: time three years is taking me to truly rebuild everything
Speaker 2: where I've had to go back to school to learn
Speaker 2: about business management, to learn how I'm going to lead
Speaker 2: a team, to be a good mentor to learn areas
Speaker 2: that I didn't know and under and understood. But I
Speaker 2: have this big brain. If it's scary, because it's unknown.
Speaker 2: If it's scary, I don't know it. So three years
Speaker 2: of empowerment, how to run a business, partnerships, how to
Speaker 2: run partnerships that are symbiotic, they're all partnerships. Because all
Speaker 2: of those things, years and years and years of partnerships
Speaker 2: were all just gone. Contact lists, all of it was
Speaker 2: all gone. And I had to rebuild that and rebuild
Speaker 2: myself first. So I at some point I said, I'm
Speaker 2: going to.
Speaker 3: Quit it all. I don't want to be in the
Speaker 3: on TV anymore.
Speaker 2: I don't want to be this person that is sharing
Speaker 2: her life because I saw it and I saw the comments.
Speaker 2: It was crazy, and even to see.
Speaker 3: It from women right hating on you and like attacking
Speaker 3: from women, the things that people may say because you
Speaker 3: never know, you don't have the full story. I cheated
Speaker 3: I was the.
Speaker 2: One who left who It's like crazy allegations and I'm
Speaker 2: here a human being seeing all of this.
Speaker 3: Oh, I knew it was not real.
Speaker 2: I knew this was fake. Oh look, she had a
Speaker 2: perfect life, and what a human being? You know, you
Speaker 2: have no idea what I'm going through. And once I
Speaker 2: removed the anchors, it's been great and I wouldn't want
Speaker 2: to do it any other way. I'm going to teach
Speaker 2: my daughter how to be independent in how to be
Speaker 2: an asset. What's the point of staying in a marriage
Speaker 2: or staying in a relationship when it's not sustainable. So
Speaker 2: I just didn't want to. I made choices or choices.
Speaker 2: I didn't have to get married because I mean just
Speaker 2: didn't why because we were not there yet and I
Speaker 2: knew it.
Speaker 3: We were just not there yet.
Speaker 1: Did you feel like when you got married you had
Speaker 1: that fear like you kind of knew underlyingly that like
Speaker 1: not like it wouldn't work out, but that there was
Speaker 1: fear attached to it.
Speaker 3: There wasn't like for sure certainty.
Speaker 2: So there's this mutual contract that we have that we're
Speaker 2: going to remain best friends, that we're going to remain
Speaker 2: best the best to make decisions for our daughter, for
Speaker 2: our marriage, for the business that we're trying to grow,
Speaker 2: and to me, integrity is everything. And when at even
Speaker 2: feel like a moral compast was a line with mine
Speaker 2: and there was no integrity, I take the things that
Speaker 2: I do very serious, and I take risks on me.
Speaker 3: I bet on myself.
Speaker 2: Because I know that everything that I'm doing is stemming
Speaker 2: from passion in the education that I've put myself through
Speaker 2: all this time. And I work very hard. I sometimes,
Speaker 2: you know, I open my eyes. I'm taking my first
Speaker 2: vacation in the last seven years.
Speaker 3: Guys.
Speaker 4: Wow, yes, girl, Yeah, you are too hard for it
Speaker 4: to be seven years until you take a break.
Speaker 3: Well, I'm self funded for the past eleven years, you
Speaker 3: know I was able to. I don't know.
Speaker 2: I like to do things my way, and I've had
Speaker 2: opportunities to scale my company and scale it from like all.
Speaker 3: These investors and whatnot.
Speaker 2: But there's absolutely no way that I'm going to do
Speaker 2: that because I'm going to lose my voice and then
Speaker 2: I'm just going to become a cookie cutting version of
Speaker 2: everything that is out there instead of providing and keeping
Speaker 2: my voice completely just clean for the consumer. The right
Speaker 2: partner will come. The right investors will come one day,
Speaker 2: but I'm not there yet. I'm not ready. I had
Speaker 2: to rebuild eight years of a name in the industry,
Speaker 2: eight years of doing things in a certain way. At
Speaker 2: the craziest time was a pandemic when I had to
Speaker 2: do it all right. So there was a lot of
Speaker 2: me putting my head down to work, and not only
Speaker 2: to work, to make sure that everything was at a
Speaker 2: point where I felt safe. I needed to buy a
Speaker 2: home for my daughter. I was able to do that.
Speaker 3: I love what I do. We have a community like
Speaker 3: my tribe Miami Warrior community is a community just like
Speaker 3: you guys have your audience and we help each other
Speaker 3: with our stories and that's it. I have battered women
Speaker 3: on my like from nurses to the military, to battered
Speaker 3: women to too great professionals.
Speaker 2: I mean, there's it's a rainbow of women and we're
Speaker 2: a community where we help each other.
Speaker 3: So that to me is very important. And I'm a
Speaker 3: big feminist. I'm all here for family.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think it's important to hear stories from women
Speaker 4: like you or just you know, like all types of women,
Speaker 4: because I think I think people have a perception. Now
Speaker 4: you're discipline you're strong. You have this amazing self funded
Speaker 4: life and business, and you've built this amazing tribe in
Speaker 4: this community and you know brand and you know, even
Speaker 4: those women get in situations and relationships and and you know,
Speaker 4: they look up and they're like, huh, I know, I'm smart,
Speaker 4: but this is getting tricky.
Speaker 1: Or like even I have gotten into.
Speaker 4: A relationship that's fucked up, even I have ignored red flags,
Speaker 4: even me myself, who's done this and that, and this
Speaker 4: my intuation came in and I I sided with the
Speaker 4: fact that I have a daughter and I want to
Speaker 4: build a family, and this is what it will looks like.
Speaker 4: And this is what the found, you know, and like
Speaker 4: it's like you have you have the wherewithal to understand
Speaker 4: when you're making a decision that's like maybe this is
Speaker 4: not my decision, but you have hopes of having a
Speaker 4: you know, a partner that's going to remain you know,
Speaker 4: respectful and amiblical.
Speaker 3: Amicable, And you know, I'm amicable.
Speaker 4: Ambilicable, and you know, and even you have made mistakes
Speaker 4: and not mistakes because obviously it's always for the better,
Speaker 4: it's always for the greater pick like the lesson.
Speaker 3: You know, mistakes are necessary so I mean they teach
Speaker 3: you that's experience.
Speaker 1: Good mom's bad choices.
Speaker 3: Baby about this.
Speaker 2: This is my first time being married, my first time
Speaker 2: being a mom. Who's telling you that you have to
Speaker 2: have a manual? It's your first time? So can we
Speaker 2: stop judging each other for our choices? We're gonna make
Speaker 2: that's life. Good choices, bad choices. How we steer and
Speaker 2: learn from these choices. I had to so no vacation
Speaker 2: for seven years. Guess what if I wanted to continue
Speaker 2: to be so funded and have a voice in my brand.
Speaker 2: I needed to put my head down because I was
Speaker 2: managing a lot of things, managing divorce, managing daughter, managing business,
Speaker 2: managing the run, the persona in the front of managing,
Speaker 2: managing a lot, and you have to put your head down.
Speaker 4: All the while someone's telling you, you know, if you
Speaker 4: if we're not together, look at your look at your
Speaker 4: desperate friends looking for men, You're gonna be just like them.
Speaker 1: I've heard that line very many times. That's why I'm triggered.
Speaker 4: But like you know, like just planning seeds of self
Speaker 4: doubt and planning seeds of you can't do this without me,
Speaker 4: even though you know that you can even though you've
Speaker 4: built this prior to this relationship, even though the brand
Speaker 4: is you. It's just like it's those like when you
Speaker 4: when you let somebody in and you trust them and
Speaker 4: you kind of feel safe with them, and you let
Speaker 4: them in on secrets and on businesses and on opportunities
Speaker 4: and partnerships. You give someone not to say never to
Speaker 4: trust anyone, you know, but the opportunity to fuck with
Speaker 4: you from the inside out, you know. So it's like
Speaker 4: you feel so close with someone and then you have
Speaker 4: this expectation because that's how you would be and that's
Speaker 4: how you would show up in a relationship.
Speaker 3: But then you see that, like everybody is not great,
Speaker 3: and that's why there is important and emotional intelligence that
Speaker 3: was extremely important two years of therapy to try to
Speaker 3: process everything you try to process like it, I'm blaming myself.
Speaker 3: I'm like, wait a second, I am too smart for this.
Speaker 3: When did this happen?
Speaker 2: Well?
Speaker 1: Wow, well I think even I think how I think
Speaker 1: because especially because of the brand you have and the
Speaker 1: message that you have in the honesty and all these
Speaker 1: things you have, you judge yourself even more.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Like I'm supposed to know the supposed to do
Speaker 3: this shit.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you get mean women not to like to empower themselves,
Speaker 1: to feel strong in their bodies, to feel strong in
Speaker 1: their minds. Meanwhile I'm feeling weak in mind realizing because
Speaker 1: it's like little cuts. It's like we interviewed already who
Speaker 1: she's and we talk about her in our book as well,
Speaker 1: and she is a narcissist expert, and she talks about
Speaker 1: how a lot of times narcissists it's like little paper
Speaker 1: cuts until suddenly you're bleeding everywhere. You didn't even realize it.
Speaker 1: And you know, I think a lot of women can
Speaker 1: relate to that, because sometimes it's not so black and white.
Speaker 1: It's not like oh he hit me, I'm out, or
Speaker 1: like yeah, or like he called me a bitch, like
Speaker 1: he called me but just ten times I shouldn't be
Speaker 1: here anymore. No, Sometimes it's just the little tiny things
Speaker 1: that they just start tapping away at your power.
Speaker 2: But think about this, how much power it takes to say, Okay,
Speaker 2: I'm out, you did that, but and it's over and
Speaker 2: guess what I'm doing better and better?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 2: And that's the fear if you think about this, living
Speaker 2: so unhappy in a situation where you have it. We
Speaker 2: all have this gut feeling of things that are not
Speaker 2: aligning with our energy. So are you you're going to
Speaker 2: say that you're going to stain this for the rest
Speaker 2: of your life or going through that pain? Change is overwhelming.
Speaker 2: But if we want a different outcome, we're going to
Speaker 2: have to pivot. Right, And another nail popped off. But
Speaker 2: here's a very important you know, And to me, I
Speaker 2: was just judging myself, like, how like you knew this,
Speaker 2: You literally knew this, and here you are just because
Speaker 2: you don't like to be in zoom calls and manage people.
Speaker 2: Really get your act together, get out and this is
Speaker 2: what you're gonna teach your daughter, hopefully in Dara, who
Speaker 2: is a very intelligent child. My goal is to make
Speaker 2: a better version of myself in her, whatever she wants
Speaker 2: to be. So I've made this commitment to be a
Speaker 2: mom and it's the best thing ever and it comes
Speaker 2: with his challenges, right, but that's my little best friend.
Speaker 2: So I now I need to not only do it
Speaker 2: for the people who follow me, but do it for her,
Speaker 2: do it for my family, do it for myself. Right,
Speaker 2: I had to prove myself. You know, you get to
Speaker 2: the point where you've accomplished so much and now you're complacent.
Speaker 3: Okay, what's the next level. That was the next level.
Speaker 3: Look for your happiness.
Speaker 2: Let's go and the amount of learning and the empowering,
Speaker 2: the empowerment that I have right now, it's it's to
Speaker 2: another level being able.
Speaker 3: This is why, like I constantly tell women, put your energy.
Speaker 3: Look that energy that you have. We're all heartbroken, being
Speaker 3: broken up, live to belittled, all of that. It's awful and.
Speaker 2: You're gonna feel it. You're gonna start blaming yourself. You're
Speaker 2: gonna start it's it's tough. But that energy, you can
Speaker 2: put it towards the other person.
Speaker 3: This is happening to me or whatever. Take that freaking
Speaker 3: energy and channel it, transmit, channel.
Speaker 2: It to the point that what you're feeling, those big emotions,
Speaker 2: it's to actually get you to the other side. Oh
Speaker 2: you feel like this is going to break me, watch me,
Speaker 2: watch me, let me shut the noise.
Speaker 3: Do whatever you want to do.
Speaker 2: I'm going to focus on X y Z And that's
Speaker 2: what I did. Strategically, what do I need to do
Speaker 2: in order to continue to learn and in order to
Speaker 2: continue to be the best at what I do?
Speaker 3: Period?
Speaker 2: Because at the end of the day, Yes, I have
Speaker 2: a business, but people buy my business because it's symbiotic.
Speaker 2: You're getting something out of my services, and it's symbiotic
Speaker 2: you're winning.
Speaker 3: I'm winning.
Speaker 2: I always believe like ignorance is bliss, but education is power.
Speaker 2: So many women came out saying I'm dealing with the
Speaker 2: same thing.
Speaker 3: Women.
Speaker 2: There are colleagues of mine who's they have been stripped
Speaker 2: down to zero on food stamps. If it wasn't for
Speaker 2: therapy for the family circle that I have, I don't
Speaker 2: know if I would have been afloat because it took
Speaker 2: emotionally for three years. It was an emotional breakdown, and
Speaker 2: you have to process those things, and to.
Speaker 3: Have to see your.
Speaker 2: Daughter going through all of that and you're going through
Speaker 2: it and still hold it down to be a good
Speaker 2: mom when your heart is breaking, when your head is breaking,
Speaker 2: right when you're just so afraid and you're everything is
Speaker 2: coming at you, that's pretty tough. But learning how to
Speaker 2: go from the other side. My faith right faith had
Speaker 2: a lot to do with that. My circle had a
Speaker 2: lot to do with that. Therapy had a lot to
Speaker 2: do with me processing and coming out the other side stronger.
Speaker 3: What I'm telling you.
Speaker 2: It is.
Speaker 3: It is hard.
Speaker 2: It is a lot of putting your head down your
Speaker 2: desires as a person, right as a woman that you
Speaker 2: have desires.
Speaker 3: Imagine if it came to a breakup you were already
Speaker 3: checked out, right.
Speaker 2: And you're still a female, You're still a woman, you
Speaker 2: still have this concept that you're chasing of what does
Speaker 2: this family dynamic look like? I want a happy story
Speaker 2: for my daughter and I. How can I create this
Speaker 2: environment where it will not look like that anymore? But
Speaker 2: let's do something that looks like for us, it looks
Speaker 2: like a family right, And.
Speaker 3: It is tough.
Speaker 2: And the crying that I think I aged the past
Speaker 2: three years, No, seriously, the amount of crying, frustration, sleepless nights, burnouts,
Speaker 2: trying to help. People have no idea what I've gone through,
Speaker 2: and they would never see it, literally because at the
Speaker 2: end of the day, I'm pushing through and they're gonna know,
Speaker 2: you know, once I decide to write only strategies, right.
Speaker 3: They're gonna know. But it's this is how we get
Speaker 3: to the other side, by community, by talking.
Speaker 1: We have to, we have to.
Speaker 4: This has been like a savior for us, being able
Speaker 4: to show up on it, flee and like in friendship
Speaker 4: and just like the sister circles that we've been into,
Speaker 4: like bitch, I'm hurting, you know, like a bitch I'm hurting.
Speaker 4: I don't know, you know, And like but the strength
Speaker 4: and in the strength and power in the conversation in
Speaker 4: sisterhood and saying I got you and saying girl, me too,
Speaker 4: like You're not the only person this happened to. Like
Speaker 4: that shit is so powerful and truly it's like when
Speaker 4: these things happen, especially as moms, you know, especially as
Speaker 4: moms of daughters, it's like daughters heel and like when
Speaker 4: you look at a child in the face, especially as
Speaker 4: a woman, to a small woman, and you're like, there's
Speaker 4: no way in fucking hell I'm gonna let you see
Speaker 4: me stay miserable at the hand of somebody else, even
Speaker 4: if it is your daddy.
Speaker 2: You know that's gonna be her story. That will be
Speaker 2: her story now, absolutely not now.
Speaker 4: And you will inherit this half assed version of me
Speaker 4: because I've I've subjected you to my energy and we're
Speaker 4: connected no matter what. But if you transmit that energy,
Speaker 4: even if it's apart from that dad, that power in
Speaker 4: thenately inherits to your child, It's like, Oh.
Speaker 1: I see my mom move, move a bunch of shit around.
Speaker 1: I see my mom bounce.
Speaker 4: I see my mom break and build it back and
Speaker 4: build up multiple times, however, many times. And for women
Speaker 4: listening to this and who can relate, or are still
Speaker 4: in a relationship that no longer serves you, or at
Speaker 4: the very end of that relationship and right now you're like,
Speaker 4: oh shit, this is me.
Speaker 1: There is nothing stronger.
Speaker 4: Than picking up the pieces and doing that shit again,
Speaker 4: because the version of yourself that you see after that
Speaker 4: is the best version you'll ever see.
Speaker 1: And it will take.
Speaker 4: It will take a fucking ton to get you in
Speaker 4: the same spot in the same way. Like you know,
Speaker 4: fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice. Like
Speaker 4: the person I am coming out of my relationship with
Speaker 4: my child's father is one hundred million times strong than
Speaker 4: I was prior to that, because now I know nobody
Speaker 4: can break me. Yes, nobody can break me. Like when
Speaker 4: you're in those in the trenches and you're crying and
Speaker 4: you're you're at the bare minimum of yourself, you don't
Speaker 4: see or feel yourself anymore, and then you start to
Speaker 4: rediscover that part those parts of you that you had lost.
Speaker 4: There's no it's so hard for motherfucker to come in
Speaker 4: and take that away from you again. And you're that
Speaker 4: much more powerful. And like and like I said, I've
Speaker 4: said this before, I say this in the book, is like,
Speaker 4: once you choose you, once you choose your happiness, despite
Speaker 4: whoever told you it's not important, somebody is going to
Speaker 4: tell you that your happiness is not important, probably the
Speaker 4: person benefiting from your unhappiness. But when you start to
Speaker 4: reclaim those pieces of you, slowly and surely, the gravitation
Speaker 4: of all the things you want is so fucking powerful.
Speaker 1: Like women, for lack of better words, were alchemists.
Speaker 4: And when you choose you, you choose automatically everything else
Speaker 4: that benefits you, and it comes, it starts to come
Speaker 4: to you without much effort. But you have to let
Speaker 4: go of the shit that no longer serves you, even
Speaker 4: if it's the person you thought was closest to you.
Speaker 2: Hereie, and this is how you pretty much how you learn.
Speaker 2: I feel like I went to the school of life.
Speaker 2: I've had not a lot of relationships, so my.
Speaker 3: Relationships are long. You're one of those. I'm one of those.
Speaker 3: I believe in tradition.
Speaker 2: I believe in traditional values, right, and now I exactly
Speaker 2: know exactly what I want and I can see it
Speaker 2: a mile away.
Speaker 3: I see it a mile away.
Speaker 2: And this is why, like earlier you ask me if
Speaker 2: I had a celebritial crush and whatnot. And it is
Speaker 2: so funny because you're here in La in the little pocket.
Speaker 2: Everybody knows everybody, and you know they have this idea
Speaker 2: of you. And I've been set up in so many
Speaker 2: different dates and with people, and I'm just like, wow,
Speaker 2: you have these accolades, you have all these money, you
Speaker 2: have all these fame, and you will have all this,
Speaker 2: but you you have nothing, no substance, nothing, And now
Speaker 2: I can just say I know exactly what I want,
Speaker 2: what I would accept, and no, thank you. I have
Speaker 2: a personal like you have to when you see yourself
Speaker 2: in patterns, and I saw myself in a pattern saving people.
Speaker 3: And now I understand.
Speaker 2: I understood, Hey, you're deserving of someone who's matching your values,
Speaker 2: your moral compass, who you are as a person. If
Speaker 2: that doesn't match who you are, it's not sustainable. Because
Speaker 2: at some point I understood I don't care how to
Speaker 2: I have no type. My type is I'm as satissexual.
Speaker 2: I like intelligence. That's what brings me to the next
Speaker 2: person you know, or or allures me to someone. If
Speaker 2: you can teach me something, if we can grow together,
Speaker 2: if you Yeah. But now it's just like now I know,
Speaker 2: I know what I want when I see it, how
Speaker 2: it's packaged, how it's presented. That is about actions and
Speaker 2: net words. You can tell me anything, Okay, I'm just
Speaker 2: here listening. Okay, let me see how those words are
Speaker 2: going to translate into actions. What you do, the little
Speaker 2: things that you do every day, right, how you treat others.
Speaker 2: How's your relationship with your significant others, meaning your family,
Speaker 2: your siblings, your friends, How you talk about people right,
Speaker 2: how you treat other people, how you treat yourself, yourself
Speaker 2: and even your parents. Because I want a family. To me,
Speaker 2: that's the ultimate goal. And family can look very different
Speaker 2: right to me. My family right now, it's Indian. I
Speaker 2: that's our family. But if I ever Indira has yet
Speaker 2: to meet someone, she doesn't know anyone but her father,
Speaker 2: that's it. The day that she ever meets someone is
Speaker 2: because that's the one and I want it just that way,
Speaker 2: because she needs to understand, like if someone doesn't treat
Speaker 2: you well. You wait up until the person that's going
Speaker 2: to treat you well, because I'm making myself an asset.
Speaker 3: Especially now you have to have two breadwinners, like both
Speaker 3: men and women. That's that's it.
Speaker 2: If you are both an acid to each other, you're
Speaker 2: not leaving that because you're growing together.
Speaker 3: You're an acid.
Speaker 2: You're not looking at your partner and saying like we're
Speaker 2: all of this. Lack when the balance is uneven is
Speaker 2: when you start becoming unhappy. Right, So to me, I
Speaker 2: wanted to go through those experiences, not that I want it,
Speaker 2: but going through them now you're.
Speaker 3: Now I am lucky. You need I need Yeah, I
Speaker 3: needed to.
Speaker 2: I mean I have no experience literally, people that know me.
Speaker 2: I grew up in a household where I went to
Speaker 2: Catholic school. My skirts down to here I had to. Yeah,
Speaker 2: that was my mom growing up. No, you can't shave
Speaker 2: your legs until you're like sixteen or whatnot.
Speaker 3: You can't. Yeah, that's how I grew up. So it's
Speaker 3: very limited in the experience that I have.
Speaker 4: But now you know I've been Do you think you're
Speaker 4: going to adopt your mom's way of like raising your
Speaker 4: daughter like as strict as Catholic school, as like as
Speaker 4: as traditional as you were raised.
Speaker 2: No, I'm raising my daughter completely the opposite. And my
Speaker 2: daughter and I are like best friends.
Speaker 3: She has a voice.
Speaker 1: I respect her, whereas in your house is like I'm
Speaker 1: the adult and this last say.
Speaker 3: How how does that work?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 2: She's an individual, right, She's literally a little individual with
Speaker 2: her own mind, and she has her personality.
Speaker 1: Do you think some of that? Do you think being
Speaker 1: raised that way?
Speaker 4: I mean, and granted we're all raised, our parents are
Speaker 4: raised the way they were raised, and we're like the
Speaker 4: first generation that's like, huh, I might be able to
Speaker 4: change this. Some some things need to shift. Like we're
Speaker 4: so we have so much like information about just there's
Speaker 4: so much awareness that our parents maybe didn't have. But
Speaker 4: do you think that in ways that like that heavy
Speaker 4: traditional you know, like upbringing played a part in trying
Speaker 4: to make your marriage work for so long, possibly like
Speaker 4: sticking to the rules and the way that and when
Speaker 4: she thought you were supposed to show up as a
Speaker 4: wife and as a woman for the family.
Speaker 2: If I would have listened to my mom, I would
Speaker 2: have never gotten into that. So I should have listened.
Speaker 3: Oh, your mom told me everything.
Speaker 1: Your mom told you the opposite, okayaid the opposite.
Speaker 3: But hey, you go to school, then you graduate, and then.
Speaker 2: You meet prince, then you meet this. That's how she
Speaker 2: wanted me to do it right. And then I went
Speaker 2: against the green and that was just not It just didn't.
Speaker 3: Work for me.
Speaker 1: She told you to marry him, and she told you
Speaker 1: do not.
Speaker 2: She didn't want that path I moved in before I
Speaker 2: exactly like all of that, you know, and she went
Speaker 2: she would have preferred very traditional. And to that point,
Speaker 2: I will raise Indie in a traditional way that she
Speaker 2: knows how valuable she is as.
Speaker 3: A female, you know. And the way that I'm rasing
Speaker 3: hers to be just academically, just and emotionally just just bigger.
Speaker 3: She needs to think, well now that she needs to.
Speaker 2: But teaching her about emotional intelligence, my daughter is like
Speaker 2: heavily in tune with emotions. She will sit there and
Speaker 2: she is the most well behaved child. She'll have a
Speaker 2: full conversation with you. She's just racing her.
Speaker 1: Saw this beautiful clip of you guys, and it like
Speaker 1: kind of brought me to tears. It was like you
Speaker 1: were in the bathroom and she I guess she got
Speaker 1: it you were during her hair and she got emotional
Speaker 1: because she didn't want to leave you. I don't know
Speaker 1: if it was like a parent co parent drop off situation,
Speaker 1: because I've experienced that too with my daughter early on,
Speaker 1: where you know, she's just so used to being with me,
Speaker 1: and you know that exchange would sometimes be a bit
Speaker 1: traumatizing for her in ways, and traumatizing for me too,
Speaker 1: and her vocalizing like I don't want to go, you know,
Speaker 1: and then you know him being like, well you're coming,
Speaker 1: you know, and just like, oh my god, this is
Speaker 1: so fucking I never thought we'd be here. But I
Speaker 1: just thought it was so beautiful how you were able
Speaker 1: to support her, and how she was able to kind
Speaker 1: of affirm you as well too. And she said, you're like,
Speaker 1: tell me what I can do, you know better for
Speaker 1: you as your mother, and she said you're already amazing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And I was like like, literally, I'm gonna get teary
Speaker 1: eyed thinking about it right now, with such a beautiful
Speaker 1: moment that like such a young little human is able
Speaker 1: to vocalize that, And I think there's a lot of
Speaker 1: there's a lot of children that can, but it's about
Speaker 1: asking those questions too as a mother and saying how
Speaker 1: can I support you? Better? Don't I don't have it
Speaker 1: all figured out, like guide me in ways? And I
Speaker 1: think as parents and as mothers, sometimes we think that
Speaker 1: we have to have it all figured out. We don't
Speaker 1: want to ask our children those questions because at some
Speaker 1: point it somehow makes us feel or maybe makes us
Speaker 1: feel like they're going to think we don't know what
Speaker 1: we're doing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, because we don't. Yeah, we don't.
Speaker 2: It's like, think about this, Like for the moms that
Speaker 2: are listened to us, it's your first time.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I always say, I am seven year I'm a seven
Speaker 1: year old mother, and I'm an eight year old mom.
Speaker 1: Now I'm an eight year old mom. I only know
Speaker 1: as much as I know, and.
Speaker 2: You're just learning as it goes. But one of the
Speaker 2: things that I honestly I've to me, I love people.
Speaker 2: I love learning about people, I love talking to people,
Speaker 2: I love connecting.
Speaker 3: This is why I love my job. There's nothing that
Speaker 3: I would see myself doing. I just love it. I
Speaker 3: am so passionate.
Speaker 2: I wake up every single day like now when it's stressful,
Speaker 2: you know, sometimes again it's stressful, but I love what
Speaker 2: I do and one of the things that I really
Speaker 2: really did not want to end up doing. Our parents
Speaker 2: didn't have the tools that we have right now. Millennials
Speaker 2: really killed it, you know, we really did something, but
Speaker 2: they didn't have the tools to build emotional intelligence. So
Speaker 2: I'm telling all the moms out there, whether your child
Speaker 2: is one years old or eight, learn how they're developing
Speaker 2: in their minds. Developmentally. You have a frontal lobe that
Speaker 2: gets mature right at the age of twenty five. This
Speaker 2: is why children and young people we act well, we
Speaker 2: pass the twenty five, but they act so erratic, right
Speaker 2: because this is not fully developed. So in order to
Speaker 2: save yourself some frustration, why is your kid why you're
Speaker 2: telling your kid ten thousand times to pick that up
Speaker 2: and they do it every day, right, and you're just
Speaker 2: repeating the cycle, learn how they're developing mentally. That way,
Speaker 2: you're learning like, oh, I have to tell her a
Speaker 2: thousand times because this part of the brain is not developed. Oh,
Speaker 2: she tells me that she's forgetting, and now she forgot
Speaker 2: because of this. Oh, they're not able to understand time
Speaker 2: or this or that.
Speaker 1: Oh.
Speaker 2: So it saved me so much stress not getting from
Speaker 2: like oh no, that's what you're supposed to do.
Speaker 3: Okay, good, And I just treat my daughter with you know,
Speaker 3: there's this industry versus.
Speaker 2: Inferiority, inferior there you go take it away, industry versus inferiority.
Speaker 3: Okay, you know so, yeah, you know.
Speaker 2: So your children from age to six, from six to twelve,
Speaker 2: I believe six to twelve, they are looking, they're they're
Speaker 2: forming their identity. And even you can see when your
Speaker 2: kid is doing something that they knew they were not
Speaker 2: supposed to do, they're looking at you for a reaction.
Speaker 2: All she gets from me is a neutral reaction, just neutral,
Speaker 2: even though I've lost it a couple of times, like
Speaker 2: oh my god, right, but it's neutral. And India shares
Speaker 2: with me everything, everything, everything. Hopefully that extends up until
Speaker 2: she's an adult, because I'm going to teach her, yeah,
Speaker 2: in school and I we're going to teach you how
Speaker 2: to be book smart. Let me teach you how to
Speaker 2: be street smart, how to deal with humans, how to
Speaker 2: understand other humans, because you're going to have to interact
Speaker 2: with humans all day, with people.
Speaker 1: That do not.
Speaker 3: Know who you are.
Speaker 2: Have your upbringing, like different things that you do, have
Speaker 2: different morals and values and just completely different. And you
Speaker 2: have to let people be who they are and not
Speaker 2: take things personal and be you know, she's a little
Speaker 2: Pissi's water baby, right, so highly emotional and that's I
Speaker 2: feel like she has a superpower.
Speaker 3: She's gonna be.
Speaker 2: She's probably gonna be I don't know, in the art,
Speaker 2: something artistic and creative or something about people, something related.
Speaker 3: To people and humans.
Speaker 2: But I highly suggest all the moms listening to me
Speaker 2: right now, please get yourself some books. There's plenty out there.
Speaker 2: Maybe we should create a list right for the rest,
Speaker 2: but for your child's development, even when they're teenagers.
Speaker 3: I know that that's going to be.
Speaker 2: People call it like, oh my god, it's so hard
Speaker 2: and oh my god, like the kids, I have to
Speaker 2: like drink my wine because the kids are acting up.
Speaker 2: You should mean Indy, India is just and you do
Speaker 2: that through behavioral change.
Speaker 1: Well, I think if you're investing, it's like twofold, like
Speaker 1: you've got to invest. We're talking earlier about investing in
Speaker 1: yourself and your mental health and your wealth and your
Speaker 1: mind and your body, and it's like you've also decided
Speaker 1: to bring this life earth side. You have to also
Speaker 1: invest in you've chosen to be a parent, invest in
Speaker 1: understanding how you can also make them the best version
Speaker 1: of themselves so that they're not having to do all
Speaker 1: this rebuilding in their late twenties and thirties and going
Speaker 1: to therapy. I mean, granted, maybe the therapy is good
Speaker 1: for even the most you know, well adjusted child a person,
Speaker 1: but hopefully the goal is to make our children better
Speaker 1: than us, right and to like really do the work
Speaker 1: to figure out what that is. To know that these
Speaker 1: are our souls coming through us that are not exactly
Speaker 1: like us, so we're not going to be able to
Speaker 1: parent them the ways that we thought we needed to
Speaker 1: be parent that we didn't get.
Speaker 4: I mean, even then, we're only parented as much. The
Speaker 4: only example of parenting is what we got. And then
Speaker 4: it takes for us to get old enough and mature
Speaker 4: enough to evaluate that parenting and say, what did that
Speaker 4: really work for me? Were those the ways in which
Speaker 4: I thrived? Or what did that hurt me in ways?
Speaker 4: That was that traumatic for me? Because I didn't receive
Speaker 4: this emotional patience or all these things that I wish
Speaker 4: I could have had. And it's like it's difficult because,
Speaker 4: like we said, there's no guidebook, but also the only
Speaker 4: example is what you got. And then you'll find yourself
Speaker 4: in motherhood doing things that mimic mimic your parents that
Speaker 4: you don't even agree with, and you have to catch yourself.
Speaker 4: And it's like mothering yourself as an adult in ways
Speaker 4: you maybe weren't mothered growing up is like one thing,
Speaker 4: and then also mothering an actual child at the same time.
Speaker 4: It's a hell of a job, but it's necessary in
Speaker 4: order to like mothering yourself in order to show up
Speaker 4: in a way that's supportive, in a way that's patient,
Speaker 4: in a way that is you know, when you're running
Speaker 4: a business and relationships, all these other things that you
Speaker 4: still have these to give to your child. To not
Speaker 4: be like I'm I'm done for the day. You know,
Speaker 4: it's like, no, actually, this is the most important fucking
Speaker 4: job you have. And so the more tools you have,
Speaker 4: it gives you the opportunity to kind of like find
Speaker 4: new ways to parent and realize it doesn't have to
Speaker 4: look exactly like the way you were parented.
Speaker 1: Well, and also the circumstances are different too. I mean,
Speaker 1: like you came from a I think a two parent household, right,
Speaker 1: and who's the bond is strong. And now you're raising
Speaker 1: we're divorced. Yeah, three years old they divorced, but but
Speaker 1: you had it. But but I've been thinking, like about
Speaker 1: your you're a single parent, like you have your daughter.
Speaker 1: It's just you two in the house. Her needs or
Speaker 1: might be different than the needs that you have. And
Speaker 1: sometimes you don't even know because this is all you know.
Speaker 1: You have to educate yourself, like you do need to
Speaker 1: read a book, you do need to listen to a podcast.
Speaker 1: You do need to tap in with you know, and
Speaker 1: get different perspectives because what works for you might not
Speaker 1: work for indie, you know, and like you might see
Speaker 1: it start to play out like and any mother might
Speaker 1: see to play out like, oh, well this really worked
Speaker 1: for me, but for some reason it's not. It's not
Speaker 1: doing what it's supposed to be doing here. How do
Speaker 1: I need to shift? How do I need to adjust?
Speaker 1: Like because even my daughter, she's a rule follower, I'm
Speaker 1: not really like there's elements of me that are for sure,
Speaker 1: but there's things about her I'm like, are you my daughter?
Speaker 1: Like what the fuck is this?
Speaker 3: You know?
Speaker 1: And I have to honor that part of her and
Speaker 1: not try to force her to be like, well, this
Speaker 1: is easier for me.
Speaker 3: It's easier for.
Speaker 1: Me if you just like get on board with this,
Speaker 1: you know, and it's like, well, this is not this
Speaker 1: is not her human design.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 1: I can't go against that, or I could and then
Speaker 1: what the fuck's gonna happen there?
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 2: It's really funny when I see like memes on Instagram
Speaker 2: about like when kids talk too much, especially around this age,
Speaker 2: and like the parents like h right, but actually have
Speaker 2: conversations with Indian.
Speaker 3: She's super dope. She tells me about her day.
Speaker 2: I can find out even when she's insecured about certain things.
Speaker 2: I can find out anything through just her talking and
Speaker 2: he sur vibe just hearing her and I did this
Speaker 2: at school and that and that and that. But in
Speaker 2: having these conversations with her, I know what she needs
Speaker 2: to be happy.
Speaker 5: You know.
Speaker 3: After three pm, my day is done. Like that's it.
Speaker 2: My phone goes like this, I wake up really early,
Speaker 2: So these are the sacrifices, Like I wake up five
Speaker 2: five forty five, from five to five forty five, that's it.
Speaker 2: But then my day I start a day early, but
Speaker 2: my day ends when I pick her up from school.
Speaker 2: So you can be I think in the three years
Speaker 2: that she's been in school now, probably I have missed
Speaker 2: maybe two or three picking her up and dropping her off.
Speaker 2: And he's usually either my brother or like, I don't.
Speaker 3: Have an nan, I don't have a nanny. I don't
Speaker 3: have I do all of it right.
Speaker 2: She my nanny's the school right and it's important to me.
Speaker 2: So these are sacrifices that I now I have to like, Okay,
Speaker 2: I have to pivot. If I can't be an absent mother,
Speaker 2: I can't be a workaholic and be absent because we
Speaker 2: know what that does.
Speaker 3: And I'm saying, like, it's not what I'm going to
Speaker 3: be doing. Most of the time. I'm going to miss
Speaker 3: some dates, that's a given.
Speaker 2: I am going to have to work late some days,
Speaker 2: but most of the time, she's going to remember a
Speaker 2: mom that went to pick her up, dropped her off.
Speaker 2: Whatever sacrifices I needed to make, I'll make him. I'll
Speaker 2: start waking up earlier, I'll put my phone down, and
Speaker 2: then that's it. There's some days that I have to
Speaker 2: tell her, like, hey, mommy has to work, you know,
Speaker 2: and he's going to go over. But we have a routine.
Speaker 2: We have built a routine. It's just like I've become
Speaker 2: pretty much a robot. But I can control those things
Speaker 2: because I have a sustainable approach to a schedule.
Speaker 3: Hopefully she'ld be on vacation.
Speaker 1: Since you will be on vacation soon and I command it.
Speaker 3: How are you going to fit dating into your schedule? Like?
Speaker 3: How does dating fit into you? Know?
Speaker 1: This well oiled machine.
Speaker 2: I co parents, So fifty percent of the time I
Speaker 2: I having Durrah and fifty percent of the time she
Speaker 2: goes with her dad. Okay, right, we don't know if
Speaker 2: that's going to change. But managing dating, I like very.
Speaker 3: Busy people because you're busy exactly, So managing dating, I
Speaker 3: have enough. I have like a whole week to myself
Speaker 3: to do that.
Speaker 1: Do you feel like it's something that you want to
Speaker 1: do right now?
Speaker 4: Are you feeling like I would like companionship, I wouldn't
Speaker 4: mind someone courting me. Or are you just like I'm
Speaker 4: still like knee deep and getting my life where I
Speaker 4: need it to be after this, No, I got my
Speaker 4: life where I need it to be. So you're you're
Speaker 4: open to companionship.
Speaker 3: I'm open to the right type of company.
Speaker 2: Yeah, not just any because I do have a daughter,
Speaker 2: and anyone knows like my daughter comes first, yeah, comes first?
Speaker 3: Then you you know, like I come first, then my
Speaker 3: daughter comes first, you know? And where do you all?
Speaker 2: And then if you're okay with that, then great. So
Speaker 2: I've been open to dating people that do not want
Speaker 2: children because.
Speaker 1: You don't want anymore.
Speaker 3: Because it would.
Speaker 2: I'm open to people that have children and people that
Speaker 2: do not have children. I like more mature, more mature
Speaker 2: minds exactly. So I don't see myself like jumping in
Speaker 2: and saying like, oh my god, it.
Speaker 3: Was true love.
Speaker 2: We're going to get married and have no If that happens, great,
Speaker 2: I'm open to marriage, traditional marriage. It can work, you know,
Speaker 2: but for the right person, the person that is going
Speaker 2: to let me be who I am, because I let
Speaker 2: you be who you are, let me be who I am,
Speaker 2: and we're something together.
Speaker 3: But there has to be a certain level of respect.
Speaker 2: And my daughter, like again, my stepdad, my step I
Speaker 2: couldn't tell you he's my dad. That's both of them
Speaker 2: raised me, my biological dad and my stepdad. And that's doable.
Speaker 2: I know something out there or someone out there exists
Speaker 2: that it's going to blend this family idea that I
Speaker 2: have in my head, and if it doesn't happen, I'm great.
Speaker 2: There's there are perks of being single, and there are
Speaker 2: perks in being you know how dope it is to
Speaker 2: be able to be completely independent, that you don't need
Speaker 2: anything from anyone and you can just get to pick
Speaker 2: whatever it is that you want.
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's no feeling, there's no one's feelings or you
Speaker 1: don't have to consider shit. No serious, you don't have
Speaker 1: to consider anything, and that's very important. Yeah, well, thinking
Speaker 1: of that and just knowing who the fuck you are.
Speaker 1: I want to get to part of our show where
Speaker 1: we have our guest share in affirmation. So do you
Speaker 1: have an affirmation that you can share? Think I already
Speaker 1: said it.
Speaker 2: Just say change is overwhelming, changes every lining, but it
Speaker 2: is inevitable.
Speaker 3: If we want a different outcome.
Speaker 4: Change is overwhelming, but it is inevitable if you want
Speaker 4: a different outcome.
Speaker 3: That is a fact, fact, fact fact fact. I think
Speaker 3: Peter is gonna be hard, but once you embrace it,
Speaker 3: that's it. I'll lock it.
Speaker 1: Shift happen.
Speaker 2: You can't be scared. You can't be scared. You know
Speaker 2: yourself what you need to do to get to the
Speaker 2: other side.
Speaker 3: Just get it done. Break it down.
Speaker 1: I think like it's like you can't you do you
Speaker 1: if change is easy? I mean you always hear this, change.
Speaker 3: These easy, everyone would be doing it. Yeah, but it's
Speaker 3: a fact. It's really just that simple. It's really you're
Speaker 3: gonna live a misery.
Speaker 1: And even if you are scared, you have to kind
Speaker 1: of say fuck the fear and just do it anyway,
Speaker 1: because what would be worse is you waking up five
Speaker 1: ten years from now and you're still in the same
Speaker 1: fucking loop. And now you're like even doubting yourself even more.
Speaker 1: The fear is even built even more because you've got
Speaker 1: strayed so far away from that person.
Speaker 2: And now this is like a big mountain and you're like,
Speaker 2: wait a second, how am I even going to climb this?
Speaker 2: But what I say is usually I don't know if
Speaker 2: it happens to you guys that when you have lot
Speaker 2: and you're like, wait a second, how am I going
Speaker 2: to accomplish this?
Speaker 3: Break it down.
Speaker 2: Life is not a race, it's a marathon. So in
Speaker 2: your head you have to do this yesterday, and you're.
Speaker 3: Thinking like, well, I want to start this and it's
Speaker 3: going to take me this This is.
Speaker 2: Why don't you start by starting Yeah, right, and you're
Speaker 2: breaking it down right, step by step. Once you accomplish
Speaker 2: one thing, it's less overwhelming, less scary because you're you
Speaker 2: already faced your fears like you are afraid because you
Speaker 2: don't know the outcome.
Speaker 3: So stop.
Speaker 2: Obviously, you want to make decisions that are obviously you're
Speaker 2: not going to say, well, I'm going to put all
Speaker 2: my eggs in this basket and just throw myself out
Speaker 2: of a glyph. No, you're making safe decisions. You know
Speaker 2: what you're capable of, So you're going to take risks
Speaker 2: based on what you believe you're capable of, which is
Speaker 2: it's very important what you tell yourself every single day.
Speaker 2: I never wanted to make myself a victim, he said,
Speaker 2: I'm not going to go and speak about any like.
Speaker 3: No, I am not a victim.
Speaker 2: If I say, well, and this happened to me and
Speaker 2: this person, and that, you're gonna start believing that the
Speaker 2: body keeps a score. What you tell your thoughts physiologically
Speaker 2: change your body.
Speaker 3: So raise it.
Speaker 1: Oh you got to.
Speaker 4: Is it Tarot time? I love, I think it's Tarot time.
Speaker 4: We pulled Massy pulled the wheel of fortune.
Speaker 3: Which we haven't.
Speaker 4: I don't know if you've pulled this recently or this
Speaker 4: year and the will. The will of fortune means good luck, karma,
Speaker 4: life cycles, destiny, and a turning point. The will of
Speaker 4: fortune reminds you that the wheel is always turning and
Speaker 4: life is in a state of constant change. If you're
Speaker 4: going through a difficult time, rest assured that it will
Speaker 4: get better from here. Good luck and good fortune will
Speaker 4: make their return in time. Similarly, if they are going well,
Speaker 4: know this too. Know this too will change and life
Speaker 4: my return to normal soon. This cycle shows why it
Speaker 4: is so important to cherish the blissful moments in your
Speaker 4: life and make the most of them while they are
Speaker 4: within reach, because in a flash they could be gone.
Speaker 4: The will of fortune is also known as the will
Speaker 4: of karma and reminds you that what goes around comes around.
Speaker 4: Be a kind and loving person to others and they'll
Speaker 4: be kind and loving to you. Be nasty and mean,
Speaker 4: and you will get nasty and mean, turning back your way.
Speaker 4: So if you want happiness and abundance, make sure you're
Speaker 4: sending out the positive juju and kind What you send
Speaker 4: out in the universe will come back your way. The
Speaker 4: Will of Fortune card asks you to be optimistic and
Speaker 4: have faith that the universe will take care of your
Speaker 4: situation in the best way possible. Meditation and visualization can
Speaker 4: reinforce your intention to bring increased abundance, good fortune, and
Speaker 4: prosperity to you. Your life is about to turn in
Speaker 4: more positive directions if you are willing to grow and
Speaker 4: expand keep your mind open to all kinds of synchronicities
Speaker 4: and signs from the universe. The magic of fate and
Speaker 4: destiny is behind you and miracles are happening. M you
Speaker 4: know what, I think we need to start pulling the
Speaker 4: card on camera because people are gonna think that we
Speaker 4: just like pull this card to just make the shit up.
Speaker 4: I was thinking that too, because it always goes with
Speaker 4: the episode, always utterly every time, every time.
Speaker 2: You know, I believe in in like energy and I
Speaker 2: believe I believe like we're nothing is you said it?
Speaker 2: Like look at the little things that the universe is
Speaker 2: throwing at you all the time, like.
Speaker 4: Literally, like no matter what you believe, no matter what
Speaker 4: religion or non religion or whatever higher power, or you
Speaker 4: don't believe in it at all, Like when you it's
Speaker 4: again like when you start choosing yourself, the synchronicities and
Speaker 4: like the signs will be so clear, and like that's
Speaker 4: happened a lot in our relationship, Like when we when
Speaker 4: we chose this thing that we chose that we didn't
Speaker 4: know we were choosing, it was just like very clear
Speaker 4: that even if it was scary, we should keep going,
Speaker 4: even if people were like that's crazy, we should keep going.
Speaker 4: And I think people underestimate the signs, you know. And
Speaker 4: sometimes it's a stranger like telling you something on the street.
Speaker 4: Sometimes you're watching TV and it like just affirms something
Speaker 4: you just told your best friend or you thought you
Speaker 4: had a thought, and then someone says like, yo, I
Speaker 4: was thinking about this and it's in alignment. But usually
Speaker 4: like spirit will send you signs and opportunities and you'll
Speaker 4: be like, oh shit, thanks, you know, like and it's
Speaker 4: so true. And even if you're in a position right
Speaker 4: now where you're struggling to choose yourself or struggling to
Speaker 4: choose your happiness, like and you're listening to this, this
Speaker 4: is no coincidence, you know, or you're watching this, like
Speaker 4: if you're hearing this message at a time in your
Speaker 4: life where you actually absolutely needed this message. It's not
Speaker 4: by coincidence that you came and chose this episode and
Speaker 4: heard this story and this testament. And you know, don't
Speaker 4: underestimate the signs that God or Spirit gives to you,
Speaker 4: because a lot of times it's just the sway in
Speaker 4: which sometimes you need a little kick in the ass
Speaker 4: and you know, a little like, you know, a little
Speaker 4: affirmation that it's this is the direction you're supposed to
Speaker 4: go in, and this is how you're supposed to choose yourself.
Speaker 4: And I'm a sign taking bitch. I'm like, oh my god,
Speaker 4: did you hear that blape? Something broke?
Speaker 1: It's true.
Speaker 4: Whatever we're talking about is it resonates, you know, like, oh,
Speaker 4: it's eleven eleven, Like at this very moment, we're talking
Speaker 4: about this very important thing or this idea or you know,
Speaker 4: this this whatever the fuck it is.
Speaker 1: You know, you see an animal emerge, what's a grasshopper?
Speaker 3: Me?
Speaker 4: This is me?
Speaker 1: You know. But and some people think that's crazy, and
Speaker 1: for some people it is.
Speaker 4: But you'd be surprised that when you ask Spirit give
Speaker 4: me a sign, that shit will show up if you're
Speaker 4: paying attention, and even if you're in a relationship that
Speaker 4: feels like maybe it's not where you're supposed to be. Literally,
Speaker 4: that prayer is like, God, if this is not for me,
Speaker 4: make it so bad that I can't deny it. Show me,
Speaker 4: you know, like when you say that prayer, literally, within
Speaker 4: days you will be shown.
Speaker 1: And I'm not fucking kidding.
Speaker 4: It's like this the most powerful prayer, Like if this
Speaker 4: no longer serves me, God, show me that it no
Speaker 4: longer serves me in a way that I can't deny it.
Speaker 4: That last part is really the part you need in
Speaker 4: a way that I can't deny it, because bitches will
Speaker 4: be in denial for some dick and some love and
Speaker 4: some fairy tale that may not be your fairy tale,
Speaker 4: and you might be actually missing out on the fairy
Speaker 4: tale that you actually deserve because you're so busy trying
Speaker 4: to make some shit work that doesn't. So, you know,
Speaker 4: people always ask how do you honor your intuition? How
Speaker 4: do you honor yourself? And like, sometimes it just takes
Speaker 4: a little prayer because if you're feeling indifferent, you know,
Speaker 4: there's already a plant seated that says, maybe this ain't it.
Speaker 4: So if you just need that one little extra.
Speaker 1: That will do it, and.
Speaker 2: There's a level of consciousness also that you're acquiring by saying, Okay,
Speaker 2: let's say if I'm unhappy and I want to be
Speaker 2: in an environment where I feel supported, surrounding yourself with
Speaker 2: the energy that is going to be supportive. So you're
Speaker 2: starting you're going to start to walk in those thoughts.
Speaker 2: You're not gonna steer towards the energy that makes you
Speaker 2: feel X, Y and Z, You're.
Speaker 3: Going to go the other way.
Speaker 4: And sometimes that energy, which can be confusing for people.
Speaker 4: Sometimes the energy, the energy of not being supported is
Speaker 4: from people you've known the longest. Yeah, and you have
Speaker 4: to start to recognize even that, like, dam you're my
Speaker 4: best friend I've known for my whole life. But this
Speaker 4: doesn't really feel supportive. This doesn't feel good to me anymore.
Speaker 4: You don't really love and accept me for all that
Speaker 4: I am. It's difficult for you to do that. But
Speaker 4: maybe this person I just met this week is all
Speaker 4: for it, you know, and like you will start to
Speaker 4: feel when you start to be like read the energy
Speaker 4: and how people like when you leave people, how you
Speaker 4: actually feel, if you feel energized, if you feel like motivated,
Speaker 4: or if you feel like dampleted, depleted or down about
Speaker 4: yourself or questioning who you are or what you're doing.
Speaker 3: That's enough for you to know that does that energy
Speaker 3: doesn't resonate period.
Speaker 4: And sometimes it's motherfuckers, you know, in your whole life.
Speaker 4: Sometimes it's family, sometimes it's your lover. But start paying
Speaker 4: attention to how you feel, you know, when you leave
Speaker 4: you a conversation or the presence of someone and taking
Speaker 4: note and just gravitating towards what makes you feel good.
Speaker 1: And sometimes it's just you until you find that friend.
Speaker 2: Or sometimes you don't even know that you're the problem,
Speaker 2: and you have to analyze yourself. Sometimes you can be
Speaker 2: in your own thoughts and have this constructing your mind
Speaker 2: that no, this is right, and you may be the
Speaker 2: one who's that wrong. You may be wrong no, like
Speaker 2: and there's that's the saddest thing to go through. Like
Speaker 2: the truth is gonna set you free, but it's gonna
Speaker 2: either make you really sad or piss you off to
Speaker 2: begin with.
Speaker 4: You like, Deah, maybe I'm judging myself because I'm judging
Speaker 4: everybody else, and that's why I can't get from point
Speaker 4: A to point B. And you know, and sometimes it
Speaker 4: requires that you reflect and really examine, like, am I
Speaker 4: the fucking problem? I'm the toxic person? Am I holding
Speaker 4: myself back with these you know, limiting beliefs about myself?
Speaker 4: Am I beating myself up all the time. It's like
Speaker 4: it really requires for you to like be silent and
Speaker 4: go within and kind of reflect on your thoughts and
Speaker 4: the things that you tell yourself. And once you start
Speaker 4: to do that, it kind of becomes your voice gets
Speaker 4: louder and you start to realize, like why are you
Speaker 4: talking about that yourself that way? Why are these the
Speaker 4: negative thoughts that you're happening, And you kind of have
Speaker 4: to beat yourself back up, like, bitch, I'm the shit
Speaker 4: even if you're talking to yourself, Yeah, you know, and
Speaker 4: like you're powerful and you're worthy and you're you're worth it,
Speaker 4: and like you got to really, really really practice conditioning
Speaker 4: yourself to love yourself and.
Speaker 3: Living authentically yourself, knowing that you are a human that
Speaker 3: is perfectly imperfect. You're going to make mistakes, You're going
Speaker 3: to hurt people, but you can change that. Right. If
Speaker 3: you hurt someone, you can change that. Right.
Speaker 2: If someone hurts you, you can learn from that and
Speaker 2: you can change that other person too. By how you
Speaker 2: come across to me. I know I'm not a perfect human.
Speaker 2: Like no one it's going to ever look at me.
Speaker 2: It may look like what I do, Oh, she's perfect
Speaker 2: what she does. But at the end of the day,
Speaker 2: I've hurt people, I've disappointed people, I've disappointed myself.
Speaker 3: I'm a human.
Speaker 2: I'm doing things for the first time, and whether if
Speaker 2: I'm doing it, if I'm failing, I'm not going to
Speaker 2: beat myself up.
Speaker 3: I know that I am going to continue to try
Speaker 3: because it's for the first time.
Speaker 1: Just like you would do your daughter.
Speaker 4: You know, you don't be up when they fail or
Speaker 4: when they don't get first place or whatever. You're constantly
Speaker 4: gently teaching them to be better with themselves. And sometimes
Speaker 4: the same way you would love on your child, or
Speaker 4: your niece or your nephew, you have to apply that
Speaker 4: same level of gentleness and care to yourself. It's like,
Speaker 4: it's okay, girl, Like we fuck up. It's okay, you
Speaker 4: made that mistake. It's okay you did this thing. Now
Speaker 4: we're learning from it and what's next.
Speaker 3: Now.
Speaker 2: If it's a behavior that continues without any learning, that's
Speaker 2: a different, you know path. But I believe you know
Speaker 2: we should give people the same benefit of the doubt
Speaker 2: that we would like. I always say I like to
Speaker 2: treat others the way that I would like to treat myself.
Speaker 3: And even though I.
Speaker 2: Sometimes fail, right, because I'm human, I am often checking myself, okay,
Speaker 2: checking myself?
Speaker 3: How am I doing? As a mom? That's why I
Speaker 3: ask India, how do you think I'm doing on that video?
Speaker 3: What do you think I'm doing? Am I doing a
Speaker 3: good job? Am I doing? Hey?
Speaker 2: Or to my mom like hey, how do you think
Speaker 2: I'm doing as a friend or as a daughter?
Speaker 3: Right? The biggest the biggest.
Speaker 2: Awakenings for me have been coming from family that has
Speaker 2: taught me like, hey, you something is wrong.
Speaker 3: What's going on? And I think you're doing X y
Speaker 3: Z and that's not cool?
Speaker 2: And I've had to check myself because at the end
Speaker 2: of the day, I have to be kind more kind sometimes,
Speaker 2: you know. I remember a year after just going through
Speaker 2: divorce and whatnot, I was mad. I would not let
Speaker 2: anyone in. And it wasn't up until someone that I
Speaker 2: work with that where guys were commenting on the video
Speaker 2: that I was working out with. That person told me.
Speaker 5: You know, how many guys come up to me Mossie, like,
Speaker 5: they want to take you out. They want to Oh
Speaker 5: my god, it's like left and right when you leave.
Speaker 5: It's just but they would never because you look unapproachable.
Speaker 5: And mind you, I had to tell him, but I
Speaker 5: want to be unapproachable at that time. And I you know,
Speaker 5: now my energy is more, it's lighter, it's more receptive.
Speaker 5: Now things just change because I've processed.
Speaker 3: All those things.
Speaker 1: You're aware, You're like, I don't.
Speaker 2: I couldn't get into any relationship without it not being healthy, right.
Speaker 2: It was going to come with some level of distrust
Speaker 2: or some level part of me that was not going
Speaker 2: to let that relationship be healed. Therefore, if you're going
Speaker 2: through a breakup, allow yourself the time to heal. That way,
Speaker 2: the next relationship that you're in, you're not bouncing and
Speaker 2: bringing in all of those traits.
Speaker 3: That you have to heal or all the things that
Speaker 3: you have to heal.
Speaker 2: And that's what I find that people just date and
Speaker 2: continue to date around and they're all bringing each other's
Speaker 2: dramas and not out traumas and not really processing. So
Speaker 2: you can tell when someone is completely or I need
Speaker 2: at least not at one hundred percent healed. But when
Speaker 2: they're ready, it's a different kind of energy, right, Because
Speaker 2: what I want now is just I want no drama.
Speaker 3: I just want peace, quiet happiness.
Speaker 2: Not that it's always going to be looking that way
Speaker 2: at every point, but I know exactly what I want, Like,
Speaker 2: I want no drama.
Speaker 4: And you want to be able to exist just says
Speaker 4: you fucking are because this is who you are and
Speaker 4: to be loved for who you are, as we all do.
Speaker 4: And I think that's the thing, is like we're so
Speaker 4: busy trying to put ourselves in a box of acceptance
Speaker 4: and the truth the true acceptance comes when you're not
Speaker 4: trying to box yourself in and you're just existing boldly
Speaker 4: because those people will come and be like I like that,
Speaker 4: I want that. But when you start to like I conformed,
Speaker 4: I do this and I do this to be likable,
Speaker 4: then you get all these people that are not really
Speaker 4: liking you for you. Speaking of people, do you have
Speaker 4: any horries?
Speaker 3: What's a hor like?
Speaker 1: I'm very like a hotel Oho stories. I have one
Speaker 1: too from Miami.
Speaker 3: I just remember, Oh, okay, I was gonna share one
Speaker 3: from our audience.
Speaker 1: Okay, you could share that one.
Speaker 4: No, if you want to go and do it. Go ahead,
Speaker 4: I can share too, Okay. So I went to Miami.
Speaker 4: This is not that long, so don't worry. And you know,
Speaker 4: you know there's a mile High club where you have
Speaker 4: sex and an airplane which I don't even know how
Speaker 4: anyone has sex, and that little ass air Yeah, mile
Speaker 4: high club, that little ass bathroom. It doesn't seem sanitary,
Speaker 4: but maybe if you're driving riding private. But I haven't
Speaker 4: gotten there yet. But anyway, we went on a yeat
Speaker 4: this weekend and I was like, oh, yeah, we need to.
Speaker 4: I don't know what it's called for the boat, but
Speaker 4: we're going to join that club under the underwater. No
Speaker 4: I've I named it the Rock the Boat Club.
Speaker 3: Oh okay like that.
Speaker 1: So actually our friend also joined the Rock the Boat Club.
Speaker 4: We made a truce and she was like, you know
Speaker 4: they under the cabin at the yacht there's little rooms.
Speaker 4: They're a little but they cute, you know, little round
Speaker 4: bed and I was like, we all got in there
Speaker 4: and there was four of us there and I was like, listen,
Speaker 4: do you want to use the room at two thirty?
Speaker 1: We're going to come in at three.
Speaker 4: And she missed her appointment, but I did not, and
Speaker 4: so we went in there and we met in Orlando
Speaker 4: made a very good suggestion, we need to we need
Speaker 4: to you know, usually the boat like dock somewhere, like, no,
Speaker 4: we need to go on there when it's moving, and
Speaker 4: I was like yeah.
Speaker 1: So we went down to the bottom when.
Speaker 4: The boat started moving, and there was like a little
Speaker 4: mirror on the bed the headboard, and like there's a
Speaker 4: little small window, but there's just waves. And then you
Speaker 4: start like rocking and then he's like giving me some
Speaker 4: head and I was like, oh, yeah, it's like adding
Speaker 4: it was like a waterbed but in real life. And
Speaker 4: then we were having sex. And then I could see
Speaker 4: see myself in the mirror and I was like looking
Speaker 4: at because there's also a window at the top, I
Speaker 4: could see the sky and I was looking at the
Speaker 4: other window and I could see the water waves, and
Speaker 4: I was like, oh, I'm a fucking mermaid.
Speaker 1: It was really hot. And I was like, probably no
Speaker 1: one can even hear us, because yeah, I didn't hear shit.
Speaker 1: I heard nothing.
Speaker 4: Anyway, if you ever on a yacht with a small
Speaker 4: room on the bottom and it's moving, I highly recommend
Speaker 4: joining the Rock the Boat Club with me in Orlando
Speaker 4: because we did it and.
Speaker 1: It was great. Wow, Wow, this is this is a
Speaker 1: luxury hotel. This is a luxury hotel on the yacht.
Speaker 1: Go down to the bottom deck. It was very nice.
Speaker 1: I have another horri but I think I want to
Speaker 1: save it for Patreon because it's pretty fucking juicy, is it? Okay,
Speaker 1: it's a little nasty. It involves poop. Oh god, now you.
Speaker 3: Have to say it now, I'm all in. I'm interested.
Speaker 3: It loves poop in ecstasy.
Speaker 1: Poop and ecstasy. Okay, okay, So if you want to
Speaker 1: hear this horry, make sure we're not gonna You're not
Speaker 1: gonna hear right now. You have to actually go join Patreon.
Speaker 1: Click the link in this episode description. If to hear
Speaker 1: this week's hory about poop in ecstasy, I'm joining patreon
Speaker 1: dot com backslash Good Mom's Bad Choices. Okay, here we go.
Speaker 4: I just love the openness and the transparency we have here.
Speaker 4: And I just want to say for the record that
Speaker 4: it's true ho shit brings the hose together, and sometimes
Speaker 4: that hoe is your husband, and you know that's how
Speaker 4: you find like who's acceptance, who has acceptance.
Speaker 1: Over the host shit?
Speaker 4: And I highly recommend too hose finding each other, because
Speaker 4: if you find someone who's square, then you're gonna be
Speaker 4: just lusting after hos shit your whole life.
Speaker 1: Wait, why is the last part? Okay?
Speaker 5: Eric?
Speaker 3: I have a burning question. Need to ask.
Speaker 1: Did your friend ever get an email back from the
Speaker 1: wife of the guy who catfished you and lied about
Speaker 1: his son living in London? I've been listening trying to
Speaker 1: find an update. What's the wife's Instagram handle? Can I
Speaker 1: send her your podcast episode where you put them on
Speaker 1: blast Lord? I'm sure somebody already did, and we don't know.
Speaker 1: We never I think we bought the episode is called
Speaker 1: him dating a married man, but we never we never heard.
Speaker 1: Oh they had another baby?
Speaker 3: They did.
Speaker 1: They had another baby. She was pregnant.
Speaker 3: That's what happened.
Speaker 4: When we looked last a couple of years ago, she
Speaker 4: was having another baby. Yeah, they I don't know if
Speaker 4: that was a good good choice, but yeah, wow, that
Speaker 4: was a good one. And if you want to know
Speaker 4: what webrate these your hories, there are ten we keep
Speaker 4: reading them. You're doing a good job, girl, girl wow,
Speaker 4: and we barely get like level ten good ones, and
Speaker 4: you seem to keep bringing the.
Speaker 1: Heat, and if you have any horries, please make sure
Speaker 1: to either email them to where pod No Parental Advisory
Speaker 1: GMBC at gmail dot com, or you can actually leave
Speaker 1: us a voice message. You can leave us a voicemail
Speaker 1: and confess and will anonymously play your horri on the
Speaker 1: show or shared a Patreon. The number is eight one
Speaker 1: three twelve eighty seven. Yep, that's it, but we'll leave
Speaker 1: all that in the episode description. Massy, thank you so
Speaker 1: much for joining us. I hope we didn't scary you
Speaker 1: with that last little bit.
Speaker 3: No, I mean, I just can't tell you mine. When
Speaker 3: we turn off their brand.
Speaker 1: We turn off this Mike, I'm getting all the juice.
Speaker 3: You know what.
Speaker 1: I thought you were going to say.
Speaker 4: They're going to say, you know, I'm all this and that,
Speaker 4: but I'm a freak, and I was like, I can
Speaker 4: see that. Something tells me MASSI when like the door
Speaker 4: is closed.
Speaker 1: Listen, there's fire in this chart for a reason. It's
Speaker 1: Scorpio and Venus.
Speaker 4: Bitch, please Gemini to those little freaks. I'm half Gemini.
Speaker 4: Tell our audience where they can find you.
Speaker 3: I am everywhere. I'm like air no.
Speaker 2: Global global list like just like that everywhere be honest,
Speaker 2: but on Instagram MASSI m A as y A r
Speaker 2: I A s in mos vida that io and we'll
Speaker 2: link everything.
Speaker 3: That's episode description. Thank you so much for coming on
Speaker 3: GOTT and chatting with us.
Speaker 1: You guys, make sure you go and rate and review
Speaker 1: this episode on Apple Podcast if you haven't, if you've
Speaker 1: been listening for years and you haven't left a review,
Speaker 1: please go do that. Also, if you're listening or I'm
Speaker 1: sorry watching on YouTube, hit that subscribe button subscribe to
Speaker 1: our YouTube channel.
Speaker 4: We have another retreat coming up in Costa Rica for
Speaker 4: New Year's Eve. It's December twenty eighth to January second,
Speaker 4: and we're going for New Year's Eve, bitches, So pack
Speaker 4: your bags, get a babysitter, come heal, come have fun,
Speaker 4: Come frolic topless, come meet good food.
Speaker 1: Come be in the Caribbean and dance on the beach
Speaker 1: on New Year's Eve.
Speaker 4: And you know, meet your tribe because it's strong out
Speaker 4: here and we really have cultivated a really amazing group
Speaker 4: of women who have just good stories and just open
Speaker 4: hearts and are looking also for friendships and tribes. So
Speaker 4: if you haven't gone to Good Vibe Retreat, yet, and
Speaker 4: you've been waiting. Here's your chance. You can make payments.
Speaker 4: Just put a five hundred dollars deposit. If we make
Speaker 4: it easy, Just get your flight, put your deposit, make
Speaker 4: payments and pull up. This is the one vacation you
Speaker 4: don't have to worry about shit.
Speaker 1: We've worried.
Speaker 4: We've done everything for you, all the activities, the place
Speaker 4: we stay is beautiful, the food is bombed. You literally
Speaker 4: don't have to think about shit. Let the good moms
Speaker 4: nurture you. And that's it, all right, guys, We'll see
Speaker 4: you next week. Love you, bye bye.
Speaker 5: Oh.
Speaker 1: This is moll be a Ella a J.
Speaker 4: Solova record The Lalas and Elasism