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Speaker 1: It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if

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Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more,

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Speaker 1: please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HAARVEFM dot com

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Speaker 1: and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your

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Speaker 1: letter live on the air, just like we're going to

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Speaker 1: read this one right here, right now, and you never know,

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Speaker 1: it could be yours.

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Speaker 2: It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on tight.

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Speaker 2: We guide it for you here. It is Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 1: Thanking nefh you subject, figure me out or get out.

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Speaker 1: Dear Stephen Shirley, my husband and I met and immediately

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Speaker 1: fell in love. I'm twenty eight and he's thirty four.

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Speaker 1: I met him at work and he relocated and asked

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Speaker 1: me to come with him after we had known each

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Speaker 1: other for only two and a half months. Everything was

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Speaker 1: rosy back then, and all I could think about was

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Speaker 1: getting married and having babies with curly hair like his.

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Speaker 1: My fairy tale life lasted for almost a year. We

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Speaker 1: got married after I lived with him for about eight months.

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Speaker 1: It was a difficult time for me because it was

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Speaker 1: the first time I had been away from for my

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Speaker 1: friends and family, and I wasn't working he was a

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Speaker 1: bread winner and he didn't like paying for my upkeep,

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Speaker 1: so I walked around with bushy hair on top and below.

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Speaker 1: Because he also did want to give me the money

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Speaker 1: to get wax, I insisted we go back to my

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Speaker 1: hometown to get married, and he allowed it. I say aloud,

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Speaker 1: because he has strict rules about everything. He likes me

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Speaker 1: to dress modestly, and he screams at me when I

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Speaker 1: speak out of turn. If we're having a discussion, I

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Speaker 1: let him finish his complete thought and then I'm allowed

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Speaker 1: to say what I want or ask questions. I'm writing

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Speaker 1: you because I'm doing all that I can to learn

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Speaker 1: this man. But each day there's a new rule or

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Speaker 1: guideline to follow. Some days are completely normal, and he's

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Speaker 1: a fun man I fell in love with. But yesterday

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Speaker 1: he told me to figure him out or get out.

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Speaker 1: Right after he said it. He said he was joking

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Speaker 1: about getting out, but I think he was serious and

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Speaker 1: it slipped out.

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Speaker 3: I will be a disgrace to.

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Speaker 1: My family if I go back home, and my friends

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Speaker 1: will gloat in my face. Is my marriage fixable or

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Speaker 1: should I start packing up my life to move?

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Speaker 3: Well?

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Speaker 1: Excuse me, you're miserable with this man. I mean, you

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Speaker 1: know that's quite obvious. I mean, why would you stay

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Speaker 1: with him. He's not concerned about you, your happiness, your upkeep, anything.

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Speaker 1: He's only interested in the things that serve him. I mean,

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Speaker 1: marriage is serious. It requires more thought on your part

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Speaker 1: than just having curly haired babies with a man. I mean,

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Speaker 1: you need to get back near your family and friends.

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Speaker 1: I think so you can, they can be there for

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Speaker 1: you after you leave your crazy husband with these stupid

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Speaker 1: rules he's imposed and his control issues. You are not

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Speaker 1: his child, you're his wife, and marriage is supposed to

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Speaker 1: be a partnership, but he's more interested in a dictatorship.

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Speaker 1: It sounds like like when he allows you to do things,

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Speaker 1: and all this happened in just one year. I think

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Speaker 1: your folks talk stuff. You know, they might have a

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Speaker 1: lot to say and all of that if you do

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Speaker 1: decide to leave, But I think the real ones will

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Speaker 1: support you and help you get through this. You've let

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Speaker 1: yourself go for this man. You've got to get back

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Speaker 1: to who you are, get a real job, get out

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Speaker 1: of there, and like I said, get back to you.

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Speaker 3: Steve.

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Speaker 4: Wow, you know I don't normally start at the bottom

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Speaker 4: of a letter because I like to walk people through

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Speaker 4: the process. But I'm gonna change that today. I'm starting

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Speaker 4: at the bottom of the figure me out or get out?

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Speaker 4: Should I start packing up my life to move? My

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Speaker 4: response to you is this girl, go home, run home?

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Speaker 4: Do you can't get out of town fast enough. I

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Speaker 4: can't even tell you how bad this is going to get.

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Speaker 4: If you think it's bad now, you sign on the

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Speaker 4: dotted line for this foolishness here. People don't understand something

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Speaker 4: God taught me this one time. He said, the day

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Speaker 4: after you get married, the only thing that changes is

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Speaker 4: the appearance of your left hand third finger.

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Speaker 2: That's it.

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Speaker 4: At Whatever you was before is gonna continue and probably worsen.

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Speaker 4: I don't even know what you see in this here.

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Speaker 4: You don't know the man because you moved too quickly.

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Speaker 4: You twenty eight thirty four, You made him at work,

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Speaker 4: and he relocated, and he asked you to come with him,

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Speaker 4: and y'all only known each other for two and a

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Speaker 4: half months. You say everything was rosie back then, and

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Speaker 4: all you could think about was getting married and having

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Speaker 4: babies with this curly hair like kid. But then you said,

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Speaker 4: your fair tale life lasted for almost a year. You

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Speaker 4: said we got married after I lived with him for

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Speaker 4: about eight months, so I didn't quite see that. I

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Speaker 4: thought they was getting married. But you had you got

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Speaker 4: married after you live about eight months. It was difficult

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Speaker 4: because you had never been away from your family and friends.

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Speaker 4: You wasn't working. He was the bread winner. See remember

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Speaker 4: now he asked you to relocate with him. You didn't

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Speaker 4: get a job. You just went with him. But now

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Speaker 4: he don't like paying for upkeep. So now you walk

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Speaker 4: around bushy hair on top end below. We got to

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Speaker 4: do something, now we all. I'm saying we had to

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Speaker 4: get cut somewhere.

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Speaker 3: We're gonna get one cut.

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Speaker 4: You know, I might not have money for two, but

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Speaker 4: we got money for one one cut. The decision is

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Speaker 4: yours anyway, because he don't like to give you money

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Speaker 4: for your upkeep. You don't get money to get waxed.

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Speaker 4: What and but you insisted that you go back to

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Speaker 4: your hometown to get married. And then you say he

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Speaker 4: allowed it. I say aloud, because he had strict rules

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Speaker 4: about everything. He likes me to dress modernly, modesty and

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Speaker 4: screams at me when I speak out of turn. What wait, men,

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Speaker 4: hold up, there's a man that's living with a woman,

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Speaker 4: and don't let her speak out of turn?

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Speaker 2: What woman is this? Where's she still.

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Speaker 1: Meet?

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Speaker 4: She just speak in her turn? Where is she at?

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Speaker 4: It is not your turn yet? It okay? I don't

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Speaker 4: know what is with that?

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Speaker 2: All right?

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Speaker 3: Hang on, Steve, that ain't the one I live with.

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Speaker 3: We'll have part two of today's Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 1: And your response coming up at twenty three minutes after

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Speaker 1: the title is the subject is figure me out or

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Speaker 1: get out.

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Speaker 3: We'll get back into it right after this. You're listening

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Speaker 3: morning show.

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Speaker 1: All right, Come on, Steve, let's recap today's strawberry letter.

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Speaker 3: The subject is figure me out or get out?

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Speaker 4: Look like I said I started at the bottom of

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Speaker 4: this letter. Yes, lady, you should pack up and move home.

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Speaker 4: You should go home. She come talking about if I

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Speaker 4: go back home, my friends will gloat in my face.

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Speaker 4: It's my marriage fixable or shit? I start packing up

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Speaker 4: my life to move girl, go home. Nar thisce is

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Speaker 4: not fixable. You're married to a narcissist, that's what. You're

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Speaker 4: married to a person who only considers himself. He asks

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Speaker 4: you to relocate with him, you will relocate with him.

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Speaker 4: He's the breadwinner. He don't give you money for upkeep.

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Speaker 4: You can't get your hat done, you can't get waxed,

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Speaker 4: you're walking around, you're feeling crazy, looking crazy. He got

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Speaker 4: rules at the house, and then he was the one

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Speaker 4: that started it for me. Because anyway you say he

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Speaker 4: allowed you, you wanted to get married in your hometime,

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Speaker 4: he allowed it. But he has strict rules about everything.

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Speaker 4: He likes me to dress modestly, and he screams at

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Speaker 4: me when I speak out of turn, out of turn.

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Speaker 4: When my wife is talking, I be trying to get

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Speaker 4: a turn. Let alone, hush, speak out a turn? Where

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Speaker 4: she who you married? Where does woman stay.

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Speaker 3: At tap sharp?

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Speaker 2: Talk to shop?

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Speaker 3: I can't.

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Speaker 4: I don't even know what that result. I don't even

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Speaker 4: know the end result of that in my house. But

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Speaker 4: I can't, lady, I don't even know how you going

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Speaker 4: for that?

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Speaker 2: Right there?

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Speaker 4: I let him finish his complete thoughts, and then I'm

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Speaker 4: allowed to say what I want or ask questions. So

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Speaker 4: you're letting him treat you this way. I'm writing you

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Speaker 4: because I'm doing all that I can to learn this man.

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Speaker 4: But each day there's a new rule of guideline to follow.

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Speaker 4: Some days are completely normal, and he's the fun man.

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Speaker 4: I fell in love with, but yesterday he told me

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Speaker 4: to figure him out a get out. Judge Lynn told

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Speaker 4: it said this to me one time about women. She

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Speaker 4: said her grandmama told her, don't ever let a man

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Speaker 4: have to tell you twice. He don't want you. Now

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Speaker 4: he's telling you in joke for him, but he's living

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Speaker 4: the whole life. He don't let you talk out of turn.

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Speaker 4: He make you dress a certain way. He don't get

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Speaker 4: you no money to fix yourself up. So anyway, right

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Speaker 4: after he said it, he said he was joking about

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Speaker 4: getting out, but I think he was serious and it's

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Speaker 4: slipped out. I will be a disgrace to my family

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Speaker 4: if I go back home and my friends will gloat

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Speaker 4: in my face. Is my marriage fixable or should I

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Speaker 4: start packing up my life to move on? How you

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Speaker 4: gonna be a disgrace to your family? So you're gonna

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Speaker 4: stay that lady, You better get out of here for

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Speaker 4: you mess round and have a child with this food.

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Speaker 4: You don't have children right now, Go home, Go home.

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Speaker 4: He not trying to do right. He about himself. Two

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Speaker 4: and a half months you moved in with the dude

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Speaker 4: in left town. You don't know this guy and now

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Speaker 4: the person, you've got to know him, the real person

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Speaker 4: has emerged. And what you're dealing with is a Narsi assist,

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Speaker 4: And what you're dealing with is a control freak. And

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Speaker 4: what you're dealing with a person that's cheap, that don't

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Speaker 4: care about your feelings and how you look, and don't

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Speaker 4: let you talk because it's not your turn.

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Speaker 2: I do.

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Speaker 4: That's the only thing, the part that's the only redeeming

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Speaker 4: part in this letter. I want to know what do

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Speaker 4: he say to get you to be quiet? Why he talking?

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Speaker 4: I just want to know what it is that you know.

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Speaker 4: I don't want to learn nothing else. You know, I

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Speaker 4: buy my girl. I do for my girl, her up

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Speaker 4: keepers immaculate. I ain't got no problem with that. You

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Speaker 4: can shop, you can go take care of yourself. You know,

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Speaker 4: you can do what you want to do. I just

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Speaker 4: want to know what did he say get you to

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Speaker 4: stop talking? How do how can I get my wife

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Speaker 4: to stop talking? How to turn? How do I get

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Speaker 4: my wife to let me have a turn? Sometimes sometimes

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Speaker 4: I just want to turn.

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Speaker 2: I don't want I don't want.

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Speaker 4: To interrupt your Just can I talk without being interrupted?

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Speaker 2: Because fellas I'm gonna tell you.

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Speaker 4: The biggest part for us is when we do talk,

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Speaker 4: y'all interrupt that.

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Speaker 2: How many times? This is very famous?

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Speaker 4: Oh no, no, no, no, no, here it is. Here's y'alls

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Speaker 4: famous word. After we y'all in talk, we let you talk.

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Speaker 4: Then we started talking. Oh no, no, no, no no, no,

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Speaker 4: oh no no no, oh no no no, that's not

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Speaker 4: what happened. Oh I remember exactly what happened. No, this

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Speaker 4: is what you said. Well, no, baby, what I meant

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Speaker 4: was no, no, no no. What you said was.

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Speaker 3: We'll get the facts.

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Speaker 2: But see, y'all ain't.

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Speaker 3: See right there.

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Speaker 4: See you need to do like this lady in this

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Speaker 4: letter and wait your damn. I just need to know

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Speaker 4: that what I'm saying, that what I'm saying, what is

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Speaker 4: this man saying you wait on your turn?

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Speaker 2: That's all I want from you, Just sitt that in.

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Speaker 4: Look Other than that, lady, I can't help you, but

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Speaker 4: you can help me, though.

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Speaker 2: Please tell me.

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Speaker 4: What he said to you to get him to get

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Speaker 4: you to stop talking till it's your turn. That's all

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Speaker 4: I want from this. All my years of Strawberry letter,

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Speaker 4: I ain't heard this one yet, but years old, I say,

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Speaker 4: go home. Yeh he ain't trying to fix this. He

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Speaker 4: wants it his way on the highway. And I don't

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Speaker 4: know how far away from home you move, but I'm

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Speaker 4: on the highway. You ain't got nothing, you ain't got

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Speaker 4: no furniture.

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Speaker 3: And it's only been a year. She can get out,

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Speaker 3: all right, get out now.

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Speaker 2: I don't give a damn.

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Speaker 1: Comments on Today's Strawberry Letter on Instagram at Steve Harvey FM,

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Speaker 1: and check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on the very

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Speaker 1: free iHeartRadio app We're Free.

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Speaker 3: Never sounded so good.

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Speaker 1: Coming up next, Junior Waiting in the Cup with Sports Talk.

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Speaker 1: Right after this, you're listening to Harvey Morning Show