Speaker 1: Hoping to.
Speaker 2: We talked back where we encourage you to hustle hard,
Speaker 2: laugh louder, and always keep it cute. So grab your coffee,
Speaker 2: cocktail and crown because it's about a go. Damn.
Speaker 1: We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion. He talks.
Speaker 3: What's up, y'all, it's your girl, aj Holiday, what's up, Tam.
Speaker 1: Dam y'all, it's TVAM. I love y'all so so so
Speaker 1: very much. I love you.
Speaker 4: I love you more.
Speaker 3: On your weekend, girl, y'all. My weekend was horrible, Okay.
Speaker 3: I had to rush my kid to the emergency room. Damn,
Speaker 3: Dosha the fucking cat man.
Speaker 1: What happened to Dasha?
Speaker 3: She ate a stimulant, a prescribed stimulant that I must
Speaker 3: have dropped on the floor at some point, and I
Speaker 3: just felt like losing Isaiah. Sitting up in the vet.
Speaker 3: I was just waiting for the police to come looking
Speaker 3: for a prescription, like I just knew I was going
Speaker 3: to fucking jail. Bitch. I was in there boohoo, crying
Speaker 3: like a baby, okay, and cried even more when I
Speaker 3: got the goddamn bill.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 4: I was distraught.
Speaker 3: So she's getting back to normal kind of now. So
Speaker 3: she actually had to stay in the hospital overnight on Friday,
Speaker 3: and y'all avet don't be playing if y'all work somewhere,
Speaker 3: and they offered some goddamn vet vet assurance paid on
Speaker 3: a couple of dollars every couple of months a lot
Speaker 3: of people. I didn't even tell people for real what
Speaker 3: was happening with my cat, because.
Speaker 4: The one two people.
Speaker 3: I did tell is like I'm crazy for trying to
Speaker 3: save my cat's life, like they would just get another cat.
Speaker 3: Rest of all, Yasha cost me twelve hundred dollars for
Speaker 3: that fucking cat. The breach is her kittens could sell
Speaker 3: upwards three thousand dollars a pop. I'm not just letting
Speaker 3: my cat die regardless.
Speaker 4: I will even eat.
Speaker 3: Meat, So imagine me letting the cat die.
Speaker 4: So I'm gonna do whatever.
Speaker 1: It takes to keep her healthy. And am your animals
Speaker 1: become like family. You know you're not just gonna let
Speaker 1: them die if you can afford it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't even necessarily like I can afford it,
Speaker 3: but I don't want to afford it.
Speaker 4: That's the problem.
Speaker 3: I did not want to afford this VET bill, but
Speaker 3: I cried a lot, and by the time I went
Speaker 3: to go pick her up on Sunday, it was half
Speaker 3: the price. I was like, oh my god, that's gonna
Speaker 3: put me in a major for that. Your hardship, I
Speaker 3: cannot bitch when I say I was acting out in there.
Speaker 3: I was acting out in there, and like once I
Speaker 3: knew she would be okay, Like I was acting out
Speaker 3: more so about the bill, right, Yeah.
Speaker 1: It'd taken her to the vig. You should have had
Speaker 1: her like organized. Listen, when I ever Adderall, it made
Speaker 1: me feel like I could do everything. You should have
Speaker 1: had Dossa organized some episodes.
Speaker 3: The house not make her its an intern, no, but
Speaker 3: it has like an average. It's so weird because you know,
Speaker 3: cats are very like finicky when it comes to food,
Speaker 3: but it's something in the stimulants that they like that
Speaker 3: they're attracted to the smell of it, the taste of it.
Speaker 3: So this is like a common thing that happens with cats.
Speaker 3: So if you have like a kid that's on adderall
Speaker 3: or or what's the other one, red Lin and shit
Speaker 3: like that, like, and you have animals like for whatever reason.
Speaker 4: Cats like Adderall.
Speaker 3: She ate majority of the pill I came home once
Speaker 3: I got home Saturday night and looked underneath the fucking dresser.
Speaker 4: I see like the little pieces.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, this cat really like and I remember.
Speaker 1: I just feel like you didn't take advantage of that.
Speaker 3: She couldn't do anything, like It's like it's like somebody
Speaker 3: had control altlite her shit.
Speaker 4: Like she was just standing in one spot looking.
Speaker 3: I sent you the.
Speaker 4: Video how she was looked at Hi. She couldn't do nothing.
Speaker 3: They couldn't so it makes their heart rate rise real high.
Speaker 3: Like her shit was like her blood press was like
Speaker 3: one ninety six over something. Oh wow, yes, so they
Speaker 3: had to like dip her in an ice bath. Shit
Speaker 3: was real serious. Like Dasha was on her way out
Speaker 3: of head to meet her maker, the cat maker.
Speaker 1: Damn.
Speaker 3: And I my heart cannot take losing another animal, I said,
Speaker 3: my heart cannot take losing another animal like Bella is
Speaker 3: stole my screen saving on my cell phone. That's how
Speaker 3: much I missed that dog. Dasha is ten months girl.
Speaker 4: I could not.
Speaker 3: I wouldn't have been able to function for at least
Speaker 3: a week or two. Yeah, and then I had some
Speaker 3: family shit going on. Yeah, it was Memorial Day. I
Speaker 3: laid my ass down, bitch. I went to Belks and
Speaker 3: Dillers like an old bitch dude to check out these
Speaker 3: Memorial Day sales on some sheets and pillows and shit
Speaker 3: old lady stuff. And I brought my ass back to
Speaker 3: the house shift. I hope your weekend was better.
Speaker 1: I mean, it ain't hard.
Speaker 3: To top that, stupid I'm sorry, hard to talk that.
Speaker 1: I got on a plane and we went somewhere. I'm
Speaker 1: somewhere else right now, nice, and I went on a day.
Speaker 3: They don't sound like you're trying to tell us or
Speaker 3: the listeners me or the listeners where you at week
Speaker 3: on a plane and.
Speaker 1: You just know I got on a plane, y'all, and
Speaker 1: I got to come back home on Thursday morning, and
Speaker 1: I'm still here.
Speaker 3: You spending the night, bitch.
Speaker 4: I'm happy for you.
Speaker 1: Sign let's get into scenes.
Speaker 4: Because you're sending all right. So, okay, I know the internet.
Speaker 3: Seeing what's happening between remy Ma and Papoos and Clarissa's shields.
Speaker 3: I don't think she's really in the equation per se.
Speaker 3: Are they actually divorced already?
Speaker 1: No, that's the issue.
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, And so now you're publicly online like regardless
Speaker 3: of what Papoos is saying remy Ma could go to court.
Speaker 3: He bet it has a real life proof right because
Speaker 3: he is online publicly with his girlfriend. Remy Ma went
Speaker 3: live like captain on his live with him talking shit
Speaker 3: or added him to her live right to check the shit.
Speaker 3: He was just talking on his live and like you
Speaker 3: know how you it's like somebody call your phone. You're
Speaker 3: on live, like your screen comes up it's him and Carissa,
Speaker 3: like a picture like his avatar is him and Carissa.
Speaker 3: So she has a lot of ammo hey for court
Speaker 3: if she wants to put something, throw some fidelity and
Speaker 3: fidelity in there.
Speaker 1: Don't get from him.
Speaker 3: No, she ain't gonna get well, but he can get
Speaker 3: from her. So she could prove that he was the one.
Speaker 3: You know, maybe she wouldn't have to pay as much alimony.
Speaker 3: Oh you see, because she is the bread woman where
Speaker 3: we we say she's the bread winner. Papoo says that's
Speaker 3: not true. But I don't know. Maybe she had I
Speaker 3: don't know.
Speaker 1: All I know is real me my but and I
Speaker 1: play with Cliversa. You see him stocking shoes, baggy your ass?
Speaker 4: Yes, yea.
Speaker 1: Lady alone. She looked like a house was about to
Speaker 1: drop on the play.
Speaker 4: Ada looked like a mouse was chewing on the tip
Speaker 4: of them shoes. Bitch, she don't give a fuck, She
Speaker 4: don't give a fuck.
Speaker 1: Don't play with.
Speaker 3: That, lady. Mom, you're gonna have to catch another shooting
Speaker 3: charge because you.
Speaker 4: Can't be here over and we talk.
Speaker 3: Absolutely. I think she's a very sweet girl, just real innocent.
Speaker 3: She's real innocent, and she just authentically who the fuck
Speaker 3: she is, like she ain't trying to be nobody else. Okay, obviously,
Speaker 3: because that girl had on tights, y'all. Remember them tights
Speaker 3: your mom and them black dark ass tights going to church.
Speaker 3: You ain't even start wearing, no, shearstock because he was
Speaker 3: grown child. Those those are fucking tights black one quite.
Speaker 1: It was too big? Give it wicked with each other?
Speaker 4: What of the Bronx wicked witch of the Bronx?
Speaker 1: Bitch where she from?
Speaker 3: And the Brons people? Crazy? Child?
Speaker 1: Girl?
Speaker 3: My lashes stick it to the bottom yet the Brons
Speaker 3: people crazy?
Speaker 4: I love you, So you know this, Okay, So y'all.
Speaker 3: When we first started this podcast, I was actually engaged
Speaker 3: to somebody, right, and the relationship ended, and I know
Speaker 3: I probably shared a lot of like not even a
Speaker 3: lot because it was a whole lot of shit that
Speaker 3: transparred in that relationship. But I know I probably talked
Speaker 3: a little bit of shit, right And you know he
Speaker 3: would actually tell me he feels like I'm trolling him
Speaker 3: on the podcast. Now, mind you, nobody knows who he
Speaker 3: is though, right, So, remy Ma and Patpoos have always been,
Speaker 3: you know, especially since she came home from prison before
Speaker 3: everybody just thought, you know, he's just holding it down somewhere,
Speaker 3: waiting on remy Maudy that she actually comes home to
Speaker 3: get married. They're like the symbol of black love for
Speaker 3: many years, and now here they are like spilling the
Speaker 3: super beans, okay about their relationship because now they're at
Speaker 3: odds and they're breaking up. Is that the same thing
Speaker 3: I was doing? I yeah, I don't think so.
Speaker 1: I mean kind of.
Speaker 3: I don't think so, Like I would never drag somebody
Speaker 3: I once loved like that.
Speaker 4: How they're doing now?
Speaker 3: I know Remy is a is a loving woman because
Speaker 3: the way she packed that nigga stuff up nice and
Speaker 3: neat in these little plastic bags she probably ordered off
Speaker 3: Amazon thirty in a bunch. She packed this shit up
Speaker 3: real nice. But you know, if you only got clothes
Speaker 3: out of house. You ain't got no steak in at
Speaker 3: home for real, right, all you got is closed. There
Speaker 3: ain't no furniture you could take. You just got clothes
Speaker 3: in the place.
Speaker 1: Take the TV, my nigga.
Speaker 3: It was a whole bunch of bends and clothes. So she,
Speaker 3: I mean, she packed it out real nice for him.
Speaker 1: I just hate that because I remember when people used
Speaker 1: to say that they were goals. You know. That's why
Speaker 1: you can't make nobody your goals. You just have to
Speaker 1: make your goals and make it just about you and
Speaker 1: not nobody else shit, because people should be falling apart.
Speaker 3: Yeah, man, And you never know, Like the internet is
Speaker 3: not a real place as much as we as much
Speaker 3: as it's a part of our lives. You know, I
Speaker 3: had an idea for a book. I won't say the
Speaker 3: name of it, but.
Speaker 1: It's like.
Speaker 3: It's a one big it's one big filter the internet
Speaker 3: mm hmm. You know, you do not know what is
Speaker 3: actually going on with anybody just by looking at pictures
Speaker 3: and what they choose to show you or even what
Speaker 3: they choose to say.
Speaker 4: On live and shit like that. You don't know.
Speaker 3: You never know. So you know, she said that he
Speaker 3: was cheating her the entire time he was in she
Speaker 3: was in prison. I mean, I don't consider it cheating.
Speaker 3: If I go to jail for eight years, nigga have
Speaker 3: at it, Okay. If we be together when I come home,
Speaker 3: then so fucking be it. I would never want anybody
Speaker 3: to put their life on hold for me, right, So
Speaker 3: I don't consider that cheating.
Speaker 1: You never assumed that they were, you.
Speaker 4: Know, right, Like, I think that was the aine.
Speaker 1: As far as I'm concerned, long as you do it
Speaker 1: quietly and don't embarrass me, go ahead, you know.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I agree.
Speaker 3: Shit, even even now, I just don't want to hear
Speaker 3: about it. I just I don't want to see about it.
Speaker 3: I don't want to hear about it. Don't play in
Speaker 3: my face. Do it quietly.
Speaker 4: That's love.
Speaker 3: It is love when your significant other never finds out
Speaker 3: did you fuck somebody else? That is a love.
Speaker 4: That is like a epitome of love.
Speaker 3: Because shit gonna happen, especially when you with somebody for many,
Speaker 3: many years. Like I just think, I think there are
Speaker 3: people that could be in committed relationships for a very
Speaker 3: long time and never you know, never cheat.
Speaker 4: But what are the odds?
Speaker 3: Right?
Speaker 4: The odds are.
Speaker 3: Very slim, so I just think they need to have
Speaker 3: It's like, where did this respect go?
Speaker 4: Y'all just said, fuck respect. I don't like this nigga
Speaker 4: no more.
Speaker 3: We need together and I'm gonna just embarrass him as
Speaker 3: much as possible.
Speaker 1: Hurt people, hurt people, that's what they say.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't never want that type of love, even
Speaker 3: from a friend.
Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying, Even from a friend. I
Speaker 4: don't like you.
Speaker 3: Wanna get on a public platform and talk crazy about
Speaker 3: me and people know who I am. It's just different
Speaker 3: when people know who you're talking about. So seeing what's
Speaker 3: going on with them didn't make me think about you know,
Speaker 3: the shit I probably talked, which probably nobody even remembers
Speaker 3: the things I've said.
Speaker 1: They don't, especially the people who know him, who though.
Speaker 3: The fuck? But do people know him? Let me stop
Speaker 3: being shady, okay anyway, Yeah, I want papoos and read
Speaker 3: me to be better. Y'all have a daughter. The internet
Speaker 3: is fucking ink, is not pencil. You cannot erase the
Speaker 3: things that you've done. And we see how smartness little
Speaker 3: girl is. I'm pretty sure she'd be on YouTube. She's
Speaker 3: probably gonna be seeing some of the things that you
Speaker 3: said about her dad and some of the things he
Speaker 3: said about.
Speaker 4: Her, Like, it's just it's not cool. It's not cool.
Speaker 1: You have to remind yourself that people delight in your misery.
Speaker 1: Don't give them nothing. Don't give them.
Speaker 4: Nothing, Pam Dust, Yeah, that's why I What else is
Speaker 4: that going on?
Speaker 1: Chiall? Okay? So, a New York couple charged guests three
Speaker 1: hundred and thirty three dollars to attend their wedding. Out
Speaker 1: of three hundred and fifty invites, only sixty people showed up.
Speaker 1: So he says this Nova and Remo Styles redefined wedding
Speaker 1: norms by inviting guests to purchase three hundred and thirty
Speaker 1: three dollars tickets to attend their twelve hour celebration across
Speaker 1: New York City. This fee wasn't about covering calls. It
Speaker 1: symbolizes the age of number three three three, representing change, growth,
Speaker 1: and strength. Proceeds were donated to a foundation supporting couples
Speaker 1: facing infertility challenges HMM. Originally planning for three fifty guests,
Speaker 1: the Styles faced the challenge of narrowing their lists to
Speaker 1: sixty two to logistical constrains. Oh so, it wasn't like
Speaker 1: sixty people showed up out of three fifty. They narrowed
Speaker 1: their guests down to sixty. Mm hmm, okay, that's fair,
Speaker 1: and then all sixty people showed up with three hundred
Speaker 1: and thirty three dollars.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and it says by introducing the ticket system, they
Speaker 3: allowed friends and family to self select their participation, leading
Speaker 3: to more intimate gathering. Despite initial skepticism, the event sold
Speaker 3: out and the couple express no regrets, nothing that the
Speaker 3: experience clarified, oh, noting that the experienced clarify the depth
Speaker 3: of their relationship.
Speaker 4: Okay, so it wasn't what we thought initially.
Speaker 3: That is not tacky like take away the donation thing
Speaker 3: like them donating the money and all that stuff, and
Speaker 3: other cultures people help, they help, they help their the
Speaker 3: loved ones have these weddings like we see the African weddings.
Speaker 3: I want me an African wedding, like I need y'all
Speaker 3: motherfuckers to show up and throw bands on me. And
Speaker 3: I want to sit there and act like I don't care,
Speaker 3: because that's what the woman is supposed to do. Y's
Speaker 3: supposed to act unbothered. Why he throw money on her?
Speaker 3: I want to do that, and the bitch ain't gonna
Speaker 3: never smile, Like I'm mean running them pockets, your family,
Speaker 3: pay the dowry, all that shit, Like why aren't we
Speaker 3: Black Americans don't support enough?
Speaker 4: They don't support each other enough.
Speaker 1: I agree, but I don't think you should charge to
Speaker 1: get your support.
Speaker 3: I think the people who actually love you, they're gonna
Speaker 3: pay that three hundred and thirty three dollars. So maybe
Speaker 3: that's even a way to wean out people who really
Speaker 3: what if they don't come in to eat, What.
Speaker 1: If they don't have three hundred and thirty then.
Speaker 4: You shouldn't in the wedding. So you'll come to the.
Speaker 1: That's the part. That's the part for me, because it's
Speaker 1: people that I love who may not have three hundred
Speaker 1: and thirty three dollars to throw up my occasion. They
Speaker 1: got kids, you know, they got responsibilities and three three
Speaker 1: three for me might not be in the budget, you know,
Speaker 1: so they can't come.
Speaker 3: Well, yeah, maybe we'll have we'll have a difference, a
Speaker 3: separate celebration. But I think that there's nothing wrong with
Speaker 3: people providing their love loved one financial assistance when getting married.
Speaker 3: I think that it's a I think it's a great
Speaker 3: thing if we plan a whole year in advance.
Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3: I feel like y'all should have three hundred and thirty
Speaker 3: three dollars by next year. If not, we need to
Speaker 3: evaluate some other shit. You know what I'm saying, Like
Speaker 3: you got to reevaluate your whole life. If you can't
Speaker 3: say three hundred and thirty three dollars for your loved one.
Speaker 1: Well, if I got four kids, all of them need
Speaker 1: something all the fucking time. I don't have no help.
Speaker 1: The three three three just ain't showing up right now.
Speaker 1: It's going to all kinds of shit.
Speaker 3: They you just I don't I wouldn't feel like you
Speaker 3: don't love me, right, Yeah, I wouldn't feel like you
Speaker 3: don't love me right, But maybe you just you can't
Speaker 3: attend right now? People need to get more in the
Speaker 3: like you.
Speaker 1: Nobody come for free. You can't make no exceptions.
Speaker 3: What I'm saying, if I were to if a person,
Speaker 3: I wouldn't say, I wouldn't I wouldn't do this personally, right.
Speaker 3: But if a person decides to do something like this, yeah,
Speaker 3: that would mean you can't attend, and it's okay to
Speaker 3: miss out. On things you want. You shouldn't have fomo
Speaker 3: about it. This is just something you might have to
Speaker 3: miss out on.
Speaker 4: People come, wedding is a lot of times are for
Speaker 4: other people.
Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 4: A marriage costs as much as a marriage license.
Speaker 3: So people are spending upwards twenty thirty forty fifty thousand
Speaker 3: dollars on a wedding for people. Half the people don't
Speaker 3: even your gift for real, So who's the celebration for?
Speaker 3: So help me celebrate?
Speaker 4: I love.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't think there's anything wrong with people asking
Speaker 3: for help. I don't even think it's help. I just
Speaker 3: think everybody should just contribute. I think it should just
Speaker 3: be a routine thing. I think it should just be
Speaker 3: the culture.
Speaker 1: Well, bitch, let me tell you this. You have a
Speaker 1: wedding where you go charge me upwards of three hundred dollars.
Speaker 4: You better tell me you.
Speaker 3: Paid three hundred dollars for Beyonce tickets. You pay fifteen
Speaker 3: hundred for Beyonce tickets, So you mean to tell me
Speaker 3: you want to see Beyonce get We're rather probably fifteen
Speaker 3: hundred for this strange ass bitch and your best to
Speaker 3: get married, and you probably in the wedding too.
Speaker 4: I might have paid for your dresses.
Speaker 1: I had pp you should have got you.
Speaker 3: That is terrible, man. You see what I'm saying, Like
Speaker 3: people have money for the things they want to have
Speaker 3: money for. Even a woman with four kids and no assistance,
Speaker 3: like she got a habit, she's supporting that she not
Speaker 3: spend three hundred and thirty three dollars on some weed,
Speaker 3: some wine something. If you love me, save the three
Speaker 3: hundred and thirty three dollars, man, and come to my
Speaker 3: wedding and show out with me.
Speaker 1: Is there going to be a zoom link that.
Speaker 4: That's gonna caught you do?
Speaker 3: I'm charge ten dollars for the zoom link and the
Speaker 3: shit gonna cut off every forty five minutes because I've
Speaker 3: got no subscription. No man, But I understand. I understand
Speaker 3: both sides and things like, yeah, you can't pay for
Speaker 3: some shit you don't have, But I know that people
Speaker 3: find money for things they actually want to do, right,
Speaker 3: So it's just what you what you deem important, That's
Speaker 3: that's it. It's the same thing with destination weddings. If
Speaker 3: you can't get there like then you just won't be
Speaker 3: at the wedding. I won't think you don't love me.
Speaker 3: You couldn't get there, so I might have a destination
Speaker 3: wedding and whoever could get there will be in attendance.
Speaker 4: It's fine.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, So I know y'all saw over the weekend
Speaker 3: or last week Don Richard took the stand. Okay, she
Speaker 3: took the stand and the Diddy trial. I haven't actually
Speaker 3: done a deep dive on the most recent stuff in
Speaker 3: the in the in the in the hearings, I haven't,
Speaker 3: but anyway, I know she took the stand. And then
Speaker 3: also her ex boyfriend was on a podcast Q Mosley
Speaker 3: and he reportedly accused Don Richard of drugging him with
Speaker 3: a pill. So this was her boyfriend, I mean, excuse me,
Speaker 3: this was his girlfriend.
Speaker 4: He trusted her.
Speaker 3: They both took a pill to his recollection, recollection, the
Speaker 3: same pill. But apparently he was out of it, like
Speaker 3: he was incoherent, like he went down basically, and when
Speaker 3: he came to, he says that he was in the
Speaker 3: twins bed. So I don't know what what he's alluding
Speaker 3: to that could have possibly happened. Maybe that's just where
Speaker 3: they rested him at. I don't know what happened to
Speaker 3: him while he was unconscious. Yeah, and maybe he's just
Speaker 3: not speaking to it. He said, I've never drugged anyone,
Speaker 3: nor have I ever given anyone pills to take. He
Speaker 3: mostly alleged that he experienced memory loss and trauma after
Speaker 3: taking a pill he believed was ecstasy given to him
Speaker 3: by Don Richard during a visit to to Diddy's Hampton's estate.
Speaker 3: He described feeling like a labrat in an experimental in
Speaker 3: an emotional experiment, and blamed for his lasting trauma, including
Speaker 3: hallucinations and memory loss. And then she explained her silence
Speaker 3: on the matter as a way to protect Q and
Speaker 3: his family, emphasizing her intention to move forward with integrity
Speaker 3: and compassion. She said the relationship between it's it's said
Speaker 3: that the relationship between Don Richard and Qi Moseley began
Speaker 3: during their time of making the band four has now
Speaker 3: come under scrutiny as they navigate conflicting narratives about their past.
Speaker 4: So she's denying that that even happened now.
Speaker 3: He did say on that podcast episode that they both
Speaker 3: took a pill. Maybe he had an adverse effect to it,
Speaker 3: I don't know, or maybe he suggested that she gave
Speaker 3: him something else other than ecstasy, and then I wonder
Speaker 3: what happened to him?
Speaker 4: Did he have did I was thinking that I just
Speaker 4: wasn't going to say it, dog, I.
Speaker 1: Wasn't going to say it would make a difference.
Speaker 3: Yeah, absolutely, So I want to know. I want to
Speaker 3: know more about what he experienced because if y'all all
Speaker 3: sitting there taking recreational drugs, you know what I'm saying. Like,
Speaker 3: the first time I did shrooms, I did it with
Speaker 3: my ex. I was cool, I had my headphones on,
Speaker 3: listening to meditation music. This nigga was clearly having a
Speaker 3: panic attack, Okay, Like I almost was like, damn, dude,
Speaker 3: do I need to call a paramedics because he just
Speaker 3: couldn't keep still, Like he just would lay down, he
Speaker 3: would get up. He was pacing, pacing back and forth.
Speaker 3: He was visibly nervous. Right, we took the same thing,
Speaker 3: the same amount.
Speaker 1: You ain't try to calm him down.
Speaker 3: I did try, But like, what do you so, how
Speaker 3: do you call him somebody that you know when you
Speaker 3: take certain stimulants, you just have to wait for it
Speaker 3: to get out your system.
Speaker 1: I thought some one person supposed to stay sober when.
Speaker 4: You're doing shrooms. Shrooms the thing with shrooms is that
Speaker 4: your mind.
Speaker 3: It depends on your mind, like right, your mental state,
Speaker 3: So obviously it exposed his mental state. That's probably how
Speaker 3: his mind feels on a daily basis, Like now I
Speaker 3: can see his subconscious mind running around the fucking room me.
Speaker 3: But I'll call him as hell because that's normally how
Speaker 3: I am. Mm hmmm, I don't know how. I mean, people,
Speaker 3: I don't think it's safe to If we're gonna do shrooms,
Speaker 3: how can one person just not do them? I'm gonna
Speaker 3: just sit and watch how it affects you. That don't
Speaker 3: make sense.
Speaker 1: That's like if you a person just ain't getting hot today.
Speaker 3: But we had planned all day to do shrooms together
Speaker 3: for the first time, Like that's really what happened.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but don doesn't strike me as the type that
Speaker 1: would like intentionally hurt her boyfriend.
Speaker 4: So yeah, maybe he just had an adverse effect to it.
Speaker 1: But you never know. You never know who people is
Speaker 1: for real.
Speaker 4: Mm mmm, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't,
Speaker 4: But I don't know.
Speaker 3: We're so like we got I think the trial is
Speaker 3: supposed to be like eight weeks long, like we're in
Speaker 3: week three now or week four where we at I
Speaker 3: think week three, So it's a lot more that's gonna
Speaker 3: come out with that trial. That particular situation isn't on trial, right,
Speaker 3: but I think he took it at you know, her
Speaker 3: testifying in that case. He took it as an opportunity
Speaker 3: to tell his truth and what he experienced during that time.
Speaker 3: And I mean, you can't discredit people, right, But there's
Speaker 3: always two sides there every story. So I don't know,
Speaker 3: yeah that part, yeah, y'all, we come into an end
Speaker 3: with the sins. But I do want to mention that
Speaker 3: is a motherfucking Gemini season. I don't know if y'all
Speaker 3: knew or not. Okay, there's most of your favorite rappers, okay,
Speaker 3: are geminized. This is actually the United States of Gemini. Okay,
Speaker 3: because Trump is also a Gemini. And I appreciate it, y'all.
Speaker 3: I never realized how many people were actually geminized though.
Speaker 3: It's like every year it's like new motherfucker's getting added on. Like,
Speaker 3: I don't know, did you see money Long? Shut up?
Speaker 3: Did you see money Long? Said? Uh? Well, she said
Speaker 3: the worst zodiac as a female Gemini. And when she said,
Speaker 3: I'm not explaining or I'm not arguing or whatever now,
Speaker 3: mind you. When I saw that, I immediately went to go
Speaker 3: see what her sign was. So money Long is a Virgo.
Speaker 3: You know, I fell out with a Virgo bestie this year,
Speaker 3: and we hadn't followed out over the past several months.
Speaker 3: We had had plenty falling outs, right, But it is
Speaker 3: the stamina for bullshit, the Gemini possess that keeps relationships
Speaker 3: going even when people be violating us. So imagine a
Speaker 3: motherfucker Gemini getting to a point to where you can't
Speaker 3: violate me no more. So now it's fuck you, and
Speaker 3: now I'm the worst zodiac sign. She can't say men,
Speaker 3: She said the women geminis. I got a real problem
Speaker 3: with that. Virgo. My best friend from first grade is
Speaker 3: a Virgo, okay, and I love her down and we
Speaker 3: never had no issues for real.
Speaker 1: Do you think potentially it could just be the person. Yeah?
Speaker 3: Absolutely, But she didn't say that though she said basically
Speaker 3: fuck female geminis. Yes, I'm not saying she could not
Speaker 3: have possibly had a bad experience with a woman who
Speaker 3: happens to be a Gemini. Right, But once I saw
Speaker 3: that she was a Virgo, and I know how bossy
Speaker 3: and mean and possessive. Virgos can be Geminis you cannot control,
Speaker 3: So we're gonna always be the kryptonite for goddamn Virgo
Speaker 3: who's out of control.
Speaker 4: Virgo women are nuts.
Speaker 1: Like I, I believe in astrology a little bit, but
Speaker 1: I just don't believe that everybody. When you were born,
Speaker 1: this is your characteristics exclusively to you because you were
Speaker 1: born in January, you know, Well.
Speaker 3: It's what the moon, the alignments and stuff like that,
Speaker 3: like the stars alignments particular times, because the time of
Speaker 3: your birthday also plays a role in.
Speaker 4: It, right, because you you have your main.
Speaker 3: Sign, which I'm Gemini, right, so Gemini's son, but I'm
Speaker 3: actually Virgo rising, right, so I.
Speaker 4: Know what the fun I'm talking about when when it
Speaker 4: comes to these.
Speaker 3: Virgos and Libra moon, So all that stuff also then
Speaker 3: plays a role in you know, people only pay attention
Speaker 3: to the sun sign most of the sign, but all
Speaker 3: that shit combination makes up who a person is, and
Speaker 3: it's just really a baseline. No, I'm never gonna treat
Speaker 3: anybody a particular way, like just based on their sign.
Speaker 4: But he's people, I.
Speaker 1: Know, yeah, I never he said he a Pisces.
Speaker 3: That's how I am with Scorpio men and Aquarius man.
Speaker 3: I ain't even gonna lie to you. You know, I
Speaker 3: know Scorpio's gonna fuck the ship at you, but they're
Speaker 3: gonna have your ass po zessed. Okay, they're gonna they
Speaker 3: probably gonna.
Speaker 4: Get you pregnant a lot of times.
Speaker 3: All type of shit gonna be going on, Like you're
Speaker 3: gonna have to move from state to state to get
Speaker 3: away from the fucking Scorpio. And then Aquarius are very
Speaker 3: very They're a super intellectual beings.
Speaker 4: What the motherfuckers this crazy? Like they are all so crazy.
Speaker 4: And then the men and women are also different.
Speaker 3: But you know that I want to just speak to
Speaker 3: you right quick, right, so you can get off this topic. Uh,
Speaker 3: Geminis are not too faceted. Okay, Our attitude depends on.
Speaker 4: You, that's what it is. We are very mutable, Okay.
Speaker 1: It's like it's like sometimes it's like two people living inside.
Speaker 3: It's actually more than two people, that's the thing, right,
Speaker 3: But we are usually a mirror of who we talking to, right,
Speaker 3: So that's one thing I work on as a Gemini.
Speaker 3: I work on not allowing other people to determine my emotions.
Speaker 3: And my feelings in a moment. I really am truly
Speaker 3: studying stoicism, right, so I don't give a fuck, Like
Speaker 3: I can't not let outside things determine how I feel
Speaker 3: and how I'm gonna respond and stuff like that. You
Speaker 3: know what I'm saying. Just just understand people dealing with
Speaker 3: their own shit. But but Geminis like we however you come,
Speaker 3: we're coming back just like that. It's just like no
Speaker 3: real middle ground, right, So people might call that that's
Speaker 3: not really two face. It's like I'm responding to how
Speaker 3: I'm being treated.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I don't believe that all Geminis only respond
Speaker 1: to how they're being treated. Sometimes Geminis are assholes up front.
Speaker 3: You know, some asshole geminis upfront. I was an asshole
Speaker 3: when we would be like for a very long time,
Speaker 3: it'd be other little it'd be other little things, just
Speaker 3: sprinkling writing that then changes like this question is your question?
Speaker 1: There's no right answer.
Speaker 3: If I had a knife to your back, right, sit
Speaker 3: the wrong thing.
Speaker 1: She's never said or done anything.
Speaker 4: Like don't tit and I won't tat.
Speaker 3: That's Gemini, okay, But like I said, some of your
Speaker 3: favorite people a Gemini's Okay, Kanye west birthday is on
Speaker 3: June eighth, just like mine, and I love Kanye. I understand, Kanye,
Speaker 3: you know what I'm saying?
Speaker 4: Like, I don't know. I don't know what to say.
Speaker 1: What the fuck we talk about this week?
Speaker 4: I don't know a child? Oh you know where we are?
Speaker 3: Okay, what we're talking about this week when we come
Speaker 3: back from break? We are talking about because I gots
Speaker 3: some friends in some situations right now? Shit, me too, bitch.
Speaker 4: Okay, let's be very clear.
Speaker 3: Basically, you know, the pros and cons of acting like
Speaker 3: a wife without actually being a wife. Are there any
Speaker 3: pros to that? Are there any cons? Is it just
Speaker 3: one of the same if you're a girlfriend.
Speaker 4: I don't know. That's what I want to talk about though.
Speaker 1: All right, let's talk about it, because what makes you
Speaker 1: a wife? Just legal document?
Speaker 4: That's the only thing, right, that part.
Speaker 1: All right, we'll get into it when we get back.
Speaker 1: All right. What's going on with your friends? Tell a story,
Speaker 1: tell a stabusiness.
Speaker 3: It ain't just friends all friends, right, it's just women
Speaker 3: in general. I think that I remember being in college,
Speaker 3: right and I've had some friends that any man that
Speaker 3: they were in a relationship with like they would be
Speaker 3: at this.
Speaker 4: We talk to young people, young men.
Speaker 3: Just at their house, like cleaning their house up, cleaning
Speaker 3: a nigga house and cooking at the man's house and
Speaker 3: shit like that. I know that people associate those little
Speaker 3: small characteristics, are those little small activities right with being
Speaker 3: a wife. But being a wife is so much more
Speaker 3: than cooking and cleaning. Right when you get into fixing
Speaker 3: a nigga life, which a lot of women do often, right,
Speaker 3: you become this man's secretary, just making his life better,
Speaker 3: right without the commitment part. That's where you be fucking
Speaker 3: up at because you don't know if he's going to
Speaker 3: marry you. You just don't know.
Speaker 4: So you're doing all these things and you don't know
Speaker 4: where you even stand with this man for real.
Speaker 1: So all right, but ultimately all right, some of our goals,
Speaker 1: not all of us. But it's to be a wife
Speaker 1: at some point, Right, how do you want to be
Speaker 1: seen as someone who could be a wife if you
Speaker 1: don't start, you know, showing those characteristics beforehand, It's like,
Speaker 1: can you just like, oh, he asked me to marry him,
Speaker 1: so now I cut on these characteristics. Now I'm gonna
Speaker 1: start doing the thing.
Speaker 3: Okay, I can give an example of my life. Okay,
Speaker 3: So when I was previously engaged, before we got engaged,
Speaker 3: we were starting a business together.
Speaker 4: Ben smashing raw.
Speaker 3: Okay, doing all of these things together only for him,
Speaker 3: you know, when I'm trying to hold him accountable for something,
Speaker 3: which I'm learning that you can't hold other people accountable
Speaker 3: for shit, like it's up to them.
Speaker 4: Right.
Speaker 3: So when I would try to hold him accountable for
Speaker 3: things that had transpired in our relationship, he would always say, well,
Speaker 3: we wasn't We wasn't together then, so in his mind
Speaker 3: he well, no, I know, this wasn't in his mind.
Speaker 3: This is a form of gaslight in me, right for
Speaker 3: me to feel like we weren't even in a relationship
Speaker 3: until he asked me to marry him. Imagine being with
Speaker 3: somebody and doing all these things right, and they don't
Speaker 3: consider it like none of the two last two three years. Right,
Speaker 3: the moment he asked me to marry him is when
Speaker 3: he's now in a committed relationship. But we had been
Speaker 3: doing all the things prior to him asking me to
Speaker 3: marry him, and I would always question, like I would
Speaker 3: always ask him like what are we doing? Because I
Speaker 3: didn't feel comfortable like I wanted to do the busines says.
Speaker 3: I wanted to do those things. And if he was
Speaker 3: somebody that I can still do business with today and
Speaker 3: not be in a relationship with, we could have been
Speaker 3: getting a bag, a major one, right. But I would
Speaker 3: always ask him, like, because I needed clarification. I needed
Speaker 3: to be comfortable doing these wifely things. I needed to
Speaker 3: be comfortable being your business partner if I knew it
Speaker 3: was going to lead to a lifetime of commitment, and
Speaker 3: that I knew it was going to lead to marriage.
Speaker 3: But I think oftentimes women assume that because you're doing
Speaker 3: all these things with a man, that y'all are on
Speaker 3: the same page.
Speaker 1: But how do you know, Like, you never really know
Speaker 1: if it's going to lead to marriage, whether you do
Speaker 1: the things or not.
Speaker 3: But you do know when a man is being honest
Speaker 3: with you, right, when he's forthcoming with you, if you
Speaker 3: ask him, hey, what are we doing? I want to
Speaker 3: make sure I'm doing the right I want to be
Speaker 3: comfortable doing these things with you. If he wants to
Speaker 3: continue to fucking mind fuck you, he's not going to
Speaker 3: be honest, right. But if you with somebody who actually
Speaker 3: has your best interest at heart, who knows what he
Speaker 3: has in the future for you, who's calculating you into
Speaker 3: his future. You know it won't You won't ever be
Speaker 3: confused about it. Right, So, if you're ever in a
Speaker 3: relationship and there's confusion, it's because somebody is intentionally creating
Speaker 3: that confusion because they don't want you to be at ease.
Speaker 3: So if you with somebody who never wants you to
Speaker 3: be relaxed and they always want you to be on edge,
Speaker 3: that's not the person for you.
Speaker 1: No, I agree, But a nigga might not know like
Speaker 1: I feel like, or the woman might not be sure,
Speaker 1: Like you can be doing all these things with a
Speaker 1: person and still be unsure if you see them as
Speaker 1: your husband or wife. Right, Sometimes I feel like that
Speaker 1: takes time.
Speaker 3: No, I was about to say absolutely, yeah, because things
Speaker 3: change right while you're in the thing with the person.
Speaker 3: Things do change right, and then you got to communicate
Speaker 3: that to the person you're with, Like, Hey, I'm not
Speaker 3: feeling like this anymore. I was at one point, right,
Speaker 3: But this is where I'm feeling like now, Like I
Speaker 3: don't see I don't see us having a kid together,
Speaker 3: I don't see us actually being married. I don't see
Speaker 3: us owning a home together, right. I think women do
Speaker 3: a better job at communicating, like they're not interested in
Speaker 3: that way. Yeah, men want the milk from all the
Speaker 3: women like he would have you doing. It's like they
Speaker 3: really be building bitches. They got you doing this, this
Speaker 3: one doing that. And I think that's what I was
Speaker 3: experiencing too, Like he was used to having multiple women
Speaker 3: doing multiple things, and then when he locked in on me,
Speaker 3: he expected all of that from one me.
Speaker 1: Mm hm, you better go get you a tea? Who's
Speaker 1: your tea?
Speaker 4: Where's your fucking team?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 3: So are you really building a relationship or are you
Speaker 3: just auditioning for a role that hasn't actually been offered?
Speaker 1: But both, it's both.
Speaker 3: But does wife does wifey behavior get you the ring?
Speaker 3: Or does it get you used booth?
Speaker 1: Because think about it, it could go either way. It's
Speaker 1: a fucking crapshoot. Like you can be in there bacon
Speaker 1: cookies with your your apron on and got the house
Speaker 1: smelling like lemon and do it all the things and
Speaker 1: sucking deck and reading to the kids. His kids. Maybe
Speaker 1: they ain't even got to be your kids. Girl and
Speaker 1: a niggas still don't marry you, or you could be
Speaker 1: in the house and all you do you just know
Speaker 1: how to make a mean door dash. It can't and
Speaker 1: a man marry you. It just there's no real rhyme
Speaker 1: or reason to any of this shit as far as
Speaker 1: I'm concerned, Like, there's just no And a man could
Speaker 1: like you could be the best bitch and he never
Speaker 1: marry you, never marry you. He could and then be
Speaker 1: in the interview talking about I didn't get married because
Speaker 1: I didn't want my mama to jous Marlon Waims.
Speaker 3: My daddy used to use the excuse that he was
Speaker 3: still married to my mama to not marry.
Speaker 4: A bitch, like divorce her.
Speaker 3: Y'all been separated since I was eight, Like, get the divorce.
Speaker 3: My mama literally divorced him a month before he met
Speaker 3: she married my stepdaddy, like she women always got to
Speaker 3: do the paperwork, always women.
Speaker 1: So women always do the paperwork.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so let's I guess let's discuss then some behaviors
Speaker 3: that people might label as wifey like behaviors. So we
Speaker 3: mentioned cooking, like cooking full meals daily, living together. Is
Speaker 3: I just feel like now right now, I feel like
Speaker 3: until you get married y'all should sleep to each other
Speaker 3: house and shit, but y'all shouldn't.
Speaker 4: Cohabitate before getting married.
Speaker 3: I don't.
Speaker 4: I feel like I really feel like that. I feel
Speaker 4: like it is tough.
Speaker 3: It's tough, it's not fucking easy, and I don't know
Speaker 3: that it gets easier once you actually get married, right
Speaker 3: because or maybe hold on, see now, this is what
Speaker 3: the Gemini might be kicking it, and maybe you should
Speaker 3: because maybe you get into the thing living together, you
Speaker 3: realize this ain't my dad's husband.
Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying. Sometimes it might be better to
Speaker 1: live with them to see if you can live with them.
Speaker 4: Like, just go ahead and do the thing that's that
Speaker 4: that might look.
Speaker 1: Maybe in my ideal marriage, my husband and I would
Speaker 1: have two separate homes with like a bridge between.
Speaker 3: Not an in law sweet a husband's sweet him downstairs
Speaker 3: for real, Like we're in their basement. Like you better
Speaker 3: not come up from that basement, that's all I know.
Speaker 4: You better used that back door.
Speaker 3: So okay, so cooking full meals daily, I don't know
Speaker 3: how you get around that if you're living with somebody,
Speaker 3: like everybody gotta eat now. I do get tired to
Speaker 3: have to worry about a nigga's stomach because it's some
Speaker 3: days I don't eat. It's some days I just go
Speaker 3: to sleep. It's some days I eat cereal, I eat
Speaker 3: an apple or banana, Like some days I don't feel
Speaker 3: like a full meal every day. Right, So you got
Speaker 3: you gotta be with somebody who okay with that, not
Speaker 3: cooking full meals every day. I don't have a kid yet, or.
Speaker 1: Someone who can also cook. There's this couple on Instagram.
Speaker 1: I can't think of there anything. It's a black girl
Speaker 1: on her boyfriend's Asian. Oh.
Speaker 4: Yes, he'd be throwing down, Yes, he'd be throwing it down.
Speaker 1: You just sit down and eat.
Speaker 3: I'm like, yeah, yes, that is the whole love language.
Speaker 3: I like to cook, and I do like people to
Speaker 3: cook for me and serve me too. Yeah, cleaning his
Speaker 3: home or doing his laundry, right, so y'all not living
Speaker 3: together and you're coming over, you're cleaning his house up,
Speaker 3: and you're doing the laundry.
Speaker 1: I don't find it. I don't mind doing that.
Speaker 3: You can't have an expectation, though, I think that women
Speaker 3: do it and with an expectation from the man, right commitment.
Speaker 3: So maybe we aren't being honest about why we're even
Speaker 3: doing the things.
Speaker 4: Why do you feel a need to do that?
Speaker 3: The times that I've cleaned a nigger house, but the
Speaker 3: times that I've actually cleaned another man's house is because
Speaker 3: I wanted to be comfortable when I come. Like, I'm
Speaker 3: making sure your bathroom clean because I like bathrooms. That's
Speaker 3: cleaning like a hotel bathroom. So yeah, I don't want
Speaker 3: to see no shit, run a toilet, none of that bullshit.
Speaker 3: So yeah, I'll clean a nigga house. Like I said before,
Speaker 3: I've bought sheets. I've bought comforters because I like nice linnens.
Speaker 3: I want to get fucked on this nice ass bed,
Speaker 3: So yeah, I might buy you some new pillows and
Speaker 3: shit like that.
Speaker 4: That's not necessary because I'm trying to be your wife.
Speaker 3: I want to be comfortable. How he gonna another bitch,
Speaker 3: probably gonna get fucked on these stams. He probably gonna
Speaker 3: get more bitches because I bought him sheets.
Speaker 1: It's about you, it's not even about the other person. He.
Speaker 4: The men enjoy that too.
Speaker 3: They don't even know what nice things are oftentimes until you.
Speaker 1: So hard sleeping with a rock on a rock in
Speaker 1: a cardboard rock.
Speaker 4: Like Why do you got this fucking fake ass polyestera satin?
Speaker 4: She's on this bed.
Speaker 3: I'm slipping and sliding every time I move, like the
Speaker 3: she is coming off the mattress Like that feels uncomfortable.
Speaker 3: Play a player for the Himalaya sheets. Get that bullshit off.
Speaker 3: You might as well have alac man.
Speaker 1: Why is she sticking to me?
Speaker 3: It's not breathable. Why the fuck is this pillow so flat? Right?
Speaker 1: Folding this bitch four times a napkin? First of all,
Speaker 1: because I got indigestion. Nigga, I'm dying here. Give me
Speaker 1: a bigger pillow.
Speaker 3: Oh bitch? Giving money or emotional support during hard times?
Speaker 3: You helping him with his credit, You're helping him pay
Speaker 3: some ship off, You're doing job applications for him.
Speaker 1: Well, what is a bitch supposed to do with a
Speaker 1: relationship if we're not doing none of this stuff?
Speaker 4: You know, you need to know that that's your man first,
Speaker 4: that you.
Speaker 1: How is the man gonna decide that he even want
Speaker 1: to be in a relationship with you if you not
Speaker 1: like pouring into him too in different ways? You gotta
Speaker 1: do You gotta be.
Speaker 3: A man is not coming to your house to clean
Speaker 3: it now, what that man should be doing is cleaning
Speaker 3: your car, Yeah, putting some gas and that shit. Yet
Speaker 3: it has to be yes, it has to be reciprocal, right,
Speaker 3: So wifey shit is okay if he's doing husband things.
Speaker 3: But I think women get mad, right because they're doing
Speaker 3: all these things to make this man know like I'm
Speaker 3: the one, pick me, pick me, pick me, and then
Speaker 3: they're disappointed at the end of the day and then
Speaker 3: you're talking shit about this basic bitching that none of that.
Speaker 3: All she brought was pussy to the table on the
Speaker 3: iPhone and he he married her.
Speaker 1: Mm hmm.
Speaker 3: Okay, Because men really don't like easy. They do like
Speaker 3: they are hunters, you know, they like to to have
Speaker 3: to find some shit. So if you're just putting everything
Speaker 3: on the table for him, how is he to like
Speaker 3: actually appreciate those things. Some men will, right, but there's
Speaker 3: a lot of men who are takers.
Speaker 4: They'll just use your ass up.
Speaker 3: They done did it to you and the last bitch,
Speaker 3: and they might got two of y'all doing all the
Speaker 3: things for their life. Right now, you just got to
Speaker 3: know who you're doing those things for, and it has.
Speaker 4: To be reciprocated.
Speaker 3: Prioritizing his needs before your own. I think that's easy.
Speaker 3: Women do that a lot, right, you calculating, you have
Speaker 3: all this self awareness, and you're calculating everything he needs.
Speaker 3: Not self awarenes, excuse me, all this emotional intelligence and
Speaker 3: you're calculating everything he needs and not even expressing what
Speaker 3: it is that you need.
Speaker 1: I listen, I've been a victim of that behavior, like
Speaker 1: just even down to like I just always give the
Speaker 1: best to the other person, and I'll take left even
Speaker 1: like not just men. Even with friends in my house,
Speaker 1: like we order food, I'm going to give them the
Speaker 1: prettier one. I'm gonna give them the one with the
Speaker 1: most I'm gonna give them, you know, always always it's
Speaker 1: just subconscious, like subconsciously, I'm going to give you the better.
Speaker 1: I gotta stop doing that, though, because sometimes I deserve
Speaker 1: the better one. My friends, she not like that. I
Speaker 1: come over and eat at her house, She's gonna look
Speaker 1: at it. You're gonna get the smallest one.
Speaker 3: I do that too, not like I don't take the
Speaker 3: smaller one, like I want whatever I give somebody, or
Speaker 3: like I want it to be.
Speaker 4: The better one for them. Yeah, me too, you know
Speaker 4: what I'm saying, Like I don't know what is.
Speaker 1: That need to be balanced though, because you shouldn't always
Speaker 1: give the better one to someone else.
Speaker 3: It depends on if I really really like it, Like,
Speaker 3: if it's something I really like, I'm gonna give you
Speaker 3: the smaller one, like don't motherfucking ask me about no
Speaker 3: damn these academian cookies.
Speaker 1: I like the bigger one, And then I'm gonna resent
Speaker 1: you for heaving watching you have the bigger one, and
Speaker 1: I'm mad about it.
Speaker 4: But I give a child you are so childish?
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I am.
Speaker 4: You are childish.
Speaker 1: That's something I gotta work on. I just think you
Speaker 1: have to display some wifely characteristics. If you want a
Speaker 1: man to see you as a wife. You can't just
Speaker 1: turn it on later because it might not be nothing
Speaker 1: to turn on later, because the nigga never saw you
Speaker 1: as a wife because you never behaved as one.
Speaker 3: But do the men even know what a wife is
Speaker 3: supposed to be doing, because you know, some of these
Speaker 3: guys want a mom right going to his house. This
Speaker 3: is a grown man who lives on his own and
Speaker 3: you're coming over there cleaning his room.
Speaker 1: And what's the difference between a mom and a wife
Speaker 1: Outside of.
Speaker 3: Six mamas clean up after their sons all day long.
Speaker 3: I don't think that I should be in a relationship
Speaker 3: with another grown adult and they're not cleaning up behind themselves.
Speaker 3: I don't think that's a part of being a wife,
Speaker 3: or even a girlfriend, or even just with another adult.
Speaker 1: You're talking about mother of a child.
Speaker 3: These men a lot of times, some of them are
Speaker 3: fucking kids. They do stuff like kids, they do, And
Speaker 3: I don't think it's fair that that the onus is
Speaker 3: just always on a woman to take care of these things.
Speaker 3: You if I would wasn't here, or if you didn't
Speaker 3: have somebody to come clean your house up, wouldn't you
Speaker 3: be paying somebody cleaning up? And especially if we both working,
Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying, we both have things we
Speaker 3: are also responsible for outside of this relationship. Got it
Speaker 3: gotta be like, we gotta help each other. We got
Speaker 3: this give and take.
Speaker 1: It should be balanced. Yeah, twenty five, nobody's doing all
Speaker 1: the one role.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so maybe some of these things have to be
Speaker 3: then outsourced. Right, So you've been cleaning your own house,
Speaker 3: I've been cleaning my own house. We finally get a
Speaker 3: house together, and you think that just because I'm a woman,
Speaker 3: I'm supposed to clean up everything and clean up after you.
Speaker 4: No, yeah, clean up your space.
Speaker 1: Sometimes niggas can't clean up that good because you, like
Speaker 1: a man will be like, yeah, I cleaned it, and
Speaker 1: then you go in there and be like, hell.
Speaker 4: So are you talking to a man? Are you talking
Speaker 4: to a child?
Speaker 1: No, it's still a man. Just because he's not strong
Speaker 1: a strong cleaner, that don't make him a man.
Speaker 3: Yes, clean this until there's nothing there.
Speaker 1: He might be strong in other areas, Like he's not
Speaker 1: a strong cleaner.
Speaker 4: But a strong cleaner, you can carry.
Speaker 1: All this shit the house with one hand, you know,
Speaker 1: Like he can cut the grass, and I don't have
Speaker 1: to tell him. He can put gas in the car.
Speaker 1: He do it every day. My gas they feel. But
Speaker 1: when it comes to cleaning that tub, he'll try, but
Speaker 1: he ain't gonna do that good.
Speaker 3: And I'm gonna be fucking mad anyway, because I know
Speaker 3: how to put gas.
Speaker 4: I had to cut the grass.
Speaker 1: I knew.
Speaker 3: I do all the things. I'm clean.
Speaker 4: I mean the fuck out of this thing.
Speaker 1: But you don't have to. You know, you don't have
Speaker 1: to there to do it.
Speaker 3: I need you.
Speaker 4: I need capable people in life.
Speaker 1: You've got to recognize people's strong suit and play to that.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Uh.
Speaker 4: Being sexually available on demand.
Speaker 1: On demand, it's crazy.
Speaker 3: I feel like when you're living with somebody, like, it's
Speaker 3: just different. When y'all live apart, y'all want to fuck
Speaker 3: each other all the time. Now, when a dick is
Speaker 3: available to pussy's available every day, do you really want
Speaker 3: that ship every day? I am so tired of the shrimp.
Speaker 3: Where is the beef? Where is the chicken pasta?
Speaker 1: Listen? I can't think of one thing in the world
Speaker 1: outside of money that I want every day, you know, yeah?
Speaker 3: And I think also a mistake that women make having
Speaker 3: pussy on demand. For men, you can't get him to
Speaker 3: do anything you need him to do once. You don't
Speaker 3: drain his balls all day, and you're giving him this
Speaker 3: reward every day without actually producing anything. So even a
Speaker 3: husband wives, No, you can't fuck them every day.
Speaker 4: You can't.
Speaker 3: They're not gonna do anything they supposed to do, anything
Speaker 3: they said they're gonna do. You can't give them pussy
Speaker 3: every day they have to.
Speaker 4: That's like that's like a reward, right.
Speaker 3: I know, pussy is supposedly so plentiful and everywhere, but
Speaker 3: everybody don't got this pussy. If he married you, he
Speaker 3: wants that pussy in particular. Okay, so you're just making
Speaker 3: that pussy available all the time. He gonna get tired
Speaker 3: of it and he's gonna be trying to find another pussy.
Speaker 3: And then that don't mean he don't love that pussy.
Speaker 3: But it's like, shit, yeah, I got that one in
Speaker 3: the bags, in the bag. No, you gotta, yeah, you gotta.
Speaker 3: You gotta give it out spearingly. I'm not telling you
Speaker 3: not to have sex which with your significant other, you know,
Speaker 3: because if you don't, definitely somebody else gonna be fucking them.
Speaker 3: But I just you know the person sometimes, yes, I
Speaker 3: do you know women are in heat, like what twice
Speaker 3: a month. Maybe we might be in heat around the
Speaker 3: ovulation in the week after the period. Yeah, maybe that
Speaker 3: might be the best time to tap me on my
Speaker 3: shoulder to am. But other than that shoulder, yeah, like
Speaker 3: I'm ready when you're ready. Basically, it's going down whenever
Speaker 3: you want it. But yeah, I don't think you should
Speaker 3: be just having said especially if you're not if you're
Speaker 3: not married to this man. I know you want to
Speaker 3: have sex too, but you have to practice a little
Speaker 3: bit of a little bit of discipline. You don't want
Speaker 3: him to get tired of it or used to it.
Speaker 1: Is there any way to combat that? There's no way
Speaker 1: you can ration that pussy as much as you want.
Speaker 1: Eventually he's gonna get used to that pussy in life.
Speaker 1: Why you know you're gonna get used to this penis
Speaker 1: It's just no way to like avoid that, especially if
Speaker 1: you're living together.
Speaker 3: I guess you gotta, I don't know, find new new
Speaker 3: things other than sex that makes you happy.
Speaker 4: About this person, A new nigga on the side that
Speaker 4: sparts it up.
Speaker 3: You know, I know, I feel like that's that's that's
Speaker 3: a whole episode, Like how side bitches actually strengthen marriages.
Speaker 3: Our size bitch, our side bitch is necessary. Have we
Speaker 3: done that before?
Speaker 1: I don't know, know we did? Who? Who? Who?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Our side bitch is necessary because here's the thing.
Speaker 1: I think they're gonna be necessary for my relationship. I
Speaker 1: already know after like, I need you girl five to
Speaker 1: seven years. Please get this nigga.
Speaker 3: But you know, okay, remember I texted you that day.
Speaker 3: I was like, yo, I think this is how holes
Speaker 3: are created, right, That feeling when you first meet like
Speaker 3: the first time sex feeling, like the intimacy that builds
Speaker 3: up before you actually have sex, and hanging out, the
Speaker 3: holding hands and kissing, the rubbing up all at the lust, Right,
Speaker 3: how do you keep that going in a relationship you're
Speaker 3: already in. It's damnar impossible yet, so in order to
Speaker 3: have that lust full feeling, I mean, people confuse it
Speaker 3: with love, but it is lust. If y'all haven't gott
Speaker 3: no like it, this is real life sexual tension.
Speaker 4: How do you keep that going with the same person?
Speaker 3: Like? You have to have it with a new person
Speaker 3: every time, you know what I'm saying. It has to
Speaker 3: be somebody else every time, because you you've already experienced it.
Speaker 3: You already had that thing with this person. And it
Speaker 3: could be that you had it, you know, for a
Speaker 3: whole month, two months, it lasted three months, it might
Speaker 3: have lasted a year. But it's gonna die off initially,
Speaker 3: I mean, eventually it's gonna die off. That the butterflies.
Speaker 1: And that's why I think it's important to pick a
Speaker 1: person that you love outside of sex, because that she
Speaker 1: gonna get mundane eventually. I don't give a fuck what
Speaker 1: y'all say is gonna.
Speaker 3: Get but not even the sex, the intimacy, you know
Speaker 3: what I'm saying, Like, I like to have sex, but
Speaker 3: I also just like to be rubbed up and booty
Speaker 3: touched and stuff like that. And then once I'm tired
Speaker 3: of you, I might not even like you rubbing my butt.
Speaker 3: I don't want you even touching me for real. So
Speaker 3: how do you keep that going with the same person forever?
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't even know if he's supposed
Speaker 1: to at this point.
Speaker 3: That's why I say that's how holes are created, because
Speaker 3: we're always trying to duplicate that feeling, and I think
Speaker 3: you only get that feeling from somebody new or.
Speaker 1: In the beginning.
Speaker 4: Yeah, Okay, I don't know.
Speaker 1: Could you be in an open situation.
Speaker 3: Yes, But I don't think that that that black men,
Speaker 3: majority of black men can't deal with that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think I know too, I ain't. The only
Speaker 1: reason I think that is because I've been single so
Speaker 1: long now that it's gonna be hard to like. So
Speaker 1: I just got to deal with him. That's say. It
Speaker 1: just him, that's crazy, not not even like sexually. I
Speaker 1: just enjoy this.
Speaker 3: Just emotional, yeah, just talking learning, Like how do you
Speaker 3: learn more new things if you're only experiencing the same
Speaker 3: person all the time, right, And I'm not just talking
Speaker 3: about sex, like just knowing things that other people know,
Speaker 3: like learning from other people.
Speaker 1: Like I like new jokes, because telling new jokes, your
Speaker 1: jokes are the same. So I'm open to that, honestly.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I am too. At this age, I am. I
Speaker 3: just want to be honest with whoever I'm with. I
Speaker 3: want to be honest about exactly who I am and
Speaker 3: exactly what my desires are without being judged. No, absolutely not.
Speaker 3: I'm not even saying I want to have sex with
Speaker 3: a new person every fucking month and no ship like that.
Speaker 3: I just don't want it to be the option to
Speaker 3: be closed off because men don't close those options off.
Speaker 3: They just don't tell you the truth, you know. I
Speaker 3: think a lot of times women we be closing shit
Speaker 3: off because we have a little bit more discipline. I
Speaker 3: ain't gonna say all these bitches now, motherfuckers be out here, rabbit,
Speaker 3: but yeah, I think we got a little bit more
Speaker 3: disciplined than men in that department. But why do we
Speaker 3: have to so some of those things, like doing those
Speaker 3: those wifely things that we named. You know, it helped
Speaker 3: may help like build intimacy right between you and your partner,
Speaker 3: whoever it is that you're choosing to be with. You
Speaker 3: know each other's like living habits and their emotional needs
Speaker 3: and things like that. So maybe doing some of those
Speaker 3: things are just a part of being in a relationship
Speaker 3: with somebody. I don't think none of it should be
Speaker 3: done excessively though. Right all the time to where he's
Speaker 3: expecting you to now come clean his house, he's not
Speaker 3: cleaning up behind himself because he know you will. That's
Speaker 3: when it becomes like you're abusing this love and then
Speaker 3: the women start developing. Yeah, yeah, I know.
Speaker 1: My ex nigga used to I had him so spoiled.
Speaker 1: He'd be like drinking beer on Sunday watching football. And
Speaker 1: this shit sticks with me because it pissed off.
Speaker 3: You say it too, I know exactly what you're about
Speaker 3: to say.
Speaker 1: Him holding that motherfucking beer bottle up, it's just shaking
Speaker 1: it in the air. Does he at least say bay
Speaker 1: bay and then shake the bottle in the air.
Speaker 3: Bringing him another beer? And what did he ever do
Speaker 3: to deserve that treatment?
Speaker 1: He was a.
Speaker 4: Good nigga or man, God damn.
Speaker 1: Same thing. He wasn't. He wasn't perfect by any stretch
Speaker 1: of the imagination. Neither was I. But he took care
Speaker 1: of me. I mean I didn't have to. I ain't
Speaker 1: have to want for nothing for real, Like, but don't
Speaker 1: don't I still feel like, open your mouth because I'm up.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna serve you. I don't mind serving you, but
Speaker 1: don't don't treat me like a servant.
Speaker 3: Right, yeah, yeah, And I think that sometimes, like because
Speaker 3: because we're in a patriarchal society, sometimes men, you know,
Speaker 3: want to reduce women to these things, and now we're
Speaker 3: so much We've always been so much more right, but
Speaker 3: we get to express it way more nowadays, you know,
Speaker 3: within the last I don't know, fifty years or so,
Speaker 3: I guess, I don't know. I think just just setting
Speaker 3: standards for like mutual effort. You should not be doing
Speaker 3: more than he's willing to do for you, right that way,
Speaker 3: you won't.
Speaker 1: Have shake it in the air, like put money in it, babe,
Speaker 1: just take my person in the air, I have to ask,
Speaker 1: you know.
Speaker 3: So, So here are some of the cons right when
Speaker 3: you're doing wifey things without being a wife or not
Speaker 3: being in a committed relationship, sometimes there is a lack
Speaker 3: of clarity. You're doing all the work without any title,
Speaker 3: legal security, or mutual commitment, so you're basically playing wifey
Speaker 3: without any real progression in the relationship. So people you
Speaker 3: know often say, well, what's the benefit of being married, Like, yeah, yes,
Speaker 3: you are signing paperwork right under the law, because you
Speaker 3: really can be married to somebody under the eyes of
Speaker 3: God today or tomorrow. Technically, in the Bible, if we've
Speaker 3: had sex without a condom, you my man, I'm your wife,
Speaker 3: like it is what it is.
Speaker 4: So how many how many husbands you got?
Speaker 1: Bitch zero, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.
Speaker 3: A bite, I've been married a few times in life
Speaker 3: based on the Bible. Okay, yeah, because you are you
Speaker 3: when you have, especially with somebody without a condom and
Speaker 3: stuff like that, man, you're.
Speaker 4: Sharing their DNA, Like when you're.
Speaker 3: Trying to figure out, like why you just got all
Speaker 3: this mental instability, it's probably because you go led to
Speaker 3: me people in that pussy without a condom on it, right,
Speaker 3: So you just sharing all all his energy them STDs
Speaker 3: them sexually transmitted to demons like yeah, and now you're
Speaker 3: just feeling confused. So y'all could be super sexually liberated
Speaker 3: if you want to, but it comes with a lot
Speaker 3: of consequences.
Speaker 4: Okay.
Speaker 3: Another con can be emotional exhaustion. Given more than your
Speaker 3: receiving can lead to resentment and burnout. We said that, right,
Speaker 3: So you do did all the shit in the girlfriend's stage.
Speaker 3: By the time you get to be a wife, you're like, man,
Speaker 3: I'm sick of this nigga, I am so sick of him.
Speaker 1: Or then you be like, and then he'd be like,
Speaker 1: you changed soon as we got married, you.
Speaker 3: Changed, right, and usually it we do change, right. The
Speaker 3: man actually been the same the whole time. He'd been
Speaker 3: not doing nothing. Now you mad because you're tired of
Speaker 3: having to do everything.
Speaker 1: Mm hm.
Speaker 3: So if you if you're not doing it because you
Speaker 3: actually enjoy it and you actually love this person and
Speaker 3: like this is this is your love language, like showing
Speaker 3: up in this way for someone, don't do it.
Speaker 4: You will experience burnout. You will be resentful.
Speaker 3: In the in the in the relationship or in the marriage.
Speaker 3: You're gonna you're gonna be getting mad. It says an
Speaker 3: unsustainable precedent. It says, it says, uh, he may expect
Speaker 3: that level of care without giving anything back may delay
Speaker 3: or eliminate his his urgency to commit. So you know
Speaker 3: that trope like why by the cow when the milk
Speaker 3: is free? Yeah, okay, so that's that's a thing. I
Speaker 3: feel like women need to. There are a lot of
Speaker 3: I don't want to even call them selfish women because
Speaker 3: maybe that's the cheak code. I always say.
Speaker 4: Men like mean women because they mamas be fucking mean.
Speaker 3: So women, what women? Men? A lot of men are
Speaker 3: literally sons of bitches. So you coming in here being
Speaker 3: nice and sweet. He can't even believe a bitch could
Speaker 3: be like this and really mean it. He can't even
Speaker 3: be even like, oh my god, Like he doesn't even
Speaker 3: believe you're this sweet.
Speaker 4: Imagine that.
Speaker 3: So he ends up with somebody who's treating him like
Speaker 3: shit because that's really what he's used to, because he's
Speaker 3: not healed.
Speaker 1: Not most men. You feel like that's most men.
Speaker 3: Man, you haven't been with something well, I won't say
Speaker 3: most men, but the relationships I've been in, it's like,
Speaker 3: I never want to be with anybody that I can
Speaker 3: easily disrespect. But as to that point of being disrespectful,
Speaker 3: it seems like their ears and eyes open up like
Speaker 3: they all of a sudden are like, oh, they understand me,
Speaker 3: they get me.
Speaker 4: So when I was talking regularly, got fuck in there.
Speaker 1: So let's impact that. Why do you think that you
Speaker 1: are attracting this same characteristic.
Speaker 3: Because I'm very nurturing, Like I said, they sons of bitches,
Speaker 3: right I am?
Speaker 4: I am?
Speaker 3: I am very nurturing in a relationship until I'm not right,
Speaker 3: So I think that's what the initial attraction is.
Speaker 4: So I attrack these people who.
Speaker 3: Are kind of not needy, but maybe they have like
Speaker 3: fucked up relationships with their moms.
Speaker 4: And here I am being a mama.
Speaker 1: So mommy niggas, my nigga call.
Speaker 3: Me mama the fuck and I'd be like, I'm not
Speaker 3: your mom.
Speaker 1: So what do you think we could do moving forward
Speaker 1: to not invite that same energy?
Speaker 3: You gotta be like you, You gotta be kind of selfish, right,
Speaker 3: You can't expose all.
Speaker 4: You can't even listen.
Speaker 3: If you know how to give a super duper cock
Speaker 3: cock four thousand, you're only giving him one thousand until
Speaker 3: you get the ring, and you don't show him the
Speaker 3: four thousand until the night of the wedding. Like, we
Speaker 3: gotta hold some things back. We can't give all of
Speaker 3: ourselves when we get in relationships with men, we can't
Speaker 3: let them know how spectacul we really are. You can
Speaker 3: give them like you can let them know, but like spearingly,
Speaker 3: every once in a while, I'm gonna show this nigga
Speaker 3: how amazing I am. There's too many rules, as not
Speaker 3: too many rules, because you don't want to end up
Speaker 3: doing these things.
Speaker 4: I guess the discernment.
Speaker 3: Part comes in, right, no, know your personnel, know who
Speaker 3: it is that you're doing these things for. Okay, if
Speaker 3: there's no confusion, he's treating like a queen all those things.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna do all those things regardless. All of that
Speaker 3: is happen is happening regardless. But then you know, matter
Speaker 3: of fact, I'll do listen to reverse of this. I
Speaker 3: was dating a guy and I sent him this post
Speaker 3: on Instagram because he did all the boyfriend things but
Speaker 3: didn't want the commitment. And he was like, that's just
Speaker 3: how I am. Like I don't know how to be
Speaker 3: no other way. But when it comes to like, okay,
Speaker 3: what were we doing? Like I want to be married,
Speaker 3: I want to have a baby, Like, what's up in mind?
Speaker 1: You?
Speaker 3: He already had two kids, right, So I would be like,
Speaker 3: you're gonna end up with a woman who already at
Speaker 3: our age, whoever you do decide to marry, if you
Speaker 3: actually ever want to be married, that person will already
Speaker 3: have kids. Why not marry me and let's just have
Speaker 3: a kid together, and like, let this be the kid
Speaker 3: you actually like, are with the mom because you got
Speaker 3: two baby mamas. So he didn't want, No, he didn't, don't.
Speaker 3: I really don't believe he wants the responsibility of additional children, right,
Speaker 3: But if you get in a relationship with somebody who
Speaker 3: has kids, you're responsible for that woman and those kids anyway, right,
Speaker 3: So pick either pick a household of one of these
Speaker 3: women that you've had a child with, Pick one of
Speaker 3: those households, or actually build a strong, real foundation with
Speaker 3: somebody else. And maybe it's my fault for even fucking
Speaker 3: with a man who has kids, but dog, it's real
Speaker 3: hard to find anybody right now who does not have
Speaker 3: any kids. Like, as much as men like to look
Speaker 3: at women's sideways for not having kids and being a
Speaker 3: certain age, when you get with these men who don't
Speaker 3: have kids and who haven't been like in a committed
Speaker 3: relationship in a long time, you kind of see why
Speaker 3: Nigga might be socially awkward and weird stuff be going on.
Speaker 3: Why he hasn't been picked either. Men just have a
Speaker 3: lot of options why we don't get picked.
Speaker 1: I remember I was talking to this basketball player, right
Speaker 1: lit basketball player, and we were at my house and
Speaker 1: he was sitting on a bar stool and I came
Speaker 1: up to him and I was like hogging him and
Speaker 1: he looks up. He just was awkward. All right, he
Speaker 1: is like come to banner. It was awkward. And then
Speaker 1: so I was like, all right, I'm gonna walk away
Speaker 1: and go sit down. And when I turned to walk away,
Speaker 1: he literally tackled me onto the automan. It was so bizarre.
Speaker 1: I was like, get off. Some people would just be
Speaker 1: weird and awkward and just having social cues and social
Speaker 1: skills and bruh, you can go to doc by two thousand.
Speaker 1: Why would you do that? I was just in your face, like.
Speaker 3: Why are you horse playing with a woman?
Speaker 1: I'm talking my heart down And he's a big, tall ass,
Speaker 1: grown as man, and he literally tackled me. What the
Speaker 1: get out? Now?
Speaker 3: You see if there be real weirdos, I do want
Speaker 3: to study that though.
Speaker 4: I want to you said, is not a thing.
Speaker 3: But there has to be a study out there as
Speaker 3: to why women choose men who already got children. It
Speaker 3: has to be something that we subconsciously think that this
Speaker 3: person like. We don't, it's not on the forefront of
Speaker 3: our minds, right, But he's attractive for some reason, and
Speaker 3: it's maybe because he can produce. There is clear indication
Speaker 3: that he's a producer. It's more on an animalistic level,
Speaker 3: not really human, right, because human like I won't even
Speaker 3: say that, because a lot of these niggas are in
Speaker 3: cells right involuntarily celibate. And if we were in the wild,
Speaker 3: women would always stole choose the man who can produce
Speaker 3: like and who could take care of her in her offspring.
Speaker 4: Is that is what our job is, to pick the best.
Speaker 3: Suitor, right, So it'd be a lot of men that
Speaker 3: would die never having had ever had sex if we
Speaker 3: were actually in the wild and picking mates like we're
Speaker 3: supposed to.
Speaker 4: Dying.
Speaker 3: Can't got kids all over the place. And guess what
Speaker 3: the women hunt and gather. People be thinking that the
Speaker 3: man be hunting together. No, it's the women, the lion,
Speaker 3: the female lion that does it. He just be rested
Speaker 3: and whatever, it's time to fight, he coming to fight.
Speaker 3: He's the protector. Everything else the women does, the woman does.
Speaker 3: And that's really how it is in our society. We
Speaker 3: just hate it. We just don't like it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's the same shit, Yeah, exact same shit.
Speaker 3: So we keep asiding these roles to masculinity that just
Speaker 3: may not be their role.
Speaker 1: You know why Cleaning the bathroom.
Speaker 3: Kide, Okay, give me the money because I don't want
Speaker 3: to do it either.
Speaker 4: I don't want to clean somebody else's dirt. I hate it.
Speaker 4: I will clean little people dirt, but big people dirt
Speaker 4: is different.
Speaker 1: Your partner, Yes, I don't like it. You literally will
Speaker 1: take this person in your mouth.
Speaker 3: I barely like that you're talking about. You know me,
Speaker 3: You do know me the right, you know. I barely
Speaker 3: like that.
Speaker 1: But you'll do it, you know, so clean that bathroom?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think. Let's just the takeaways from this. Right,
Speaker 3: It is okay to do those things if that's who
Speaker 3: you truly are. Now, if you're doing it with an
Speaker 3: arterial art, oh my god, I cannot talkterial motive. Right,
Speaker 3: You're wanting something else, may be commitment hand in marriage,
Speaker 3: like if you're doing it for anything, any reason other
Speaker 3: than this is what you like to do your your you.
Speaker 3: This is one of your love languages. Right, This is
Speaker 3: how you show up for people. It just comes natural
Speaker 3: to you. But if you're doing it for any other reason,
Speaker 3: you actually weren't being deceitful. Right. And then women, you
Speaker 3: say it's a burnout by the time you get the marriage.
Speaker 3: But did you only do those things to get married?
Speaker 3: And now you're like, that's not really me haha.
Speaker 1: I think some people feel it like it's an obligation,
Speaker 1: like this is a part of this is my contribution.
Speaker 1: Do I like doing it? No, but this is how
Speaker 1: I contribute to this thing that I'm in. Right.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I remember the same guy who bathroom I would
Speaker 3: clean and stuff because I wanted to be comfortable. I
Speaker 3: remember visiting him again like when we you know, wasn't
Speaker 3: fucking around, and I'm.
Speaker 4: Like, who are you fucking with? Because why is she old?
Speaker 3: Like I know, there's what kind of women are you
Speaker 3: fucking with that allowed us bathroom look like? Because the
Speaker 3: shit was looking like it had never been cleaned since
Speaker 3: the last time I cleaned it. So what type of
Speaker 3: woman are you dealing with that allows this?
Speaker 1: Right? That's gonna lay up in here and use this
Speaker 1: nasty bathroom.
Speaker 3: Yes, like what is happening? So yeah, I And then
Speaker 3: it's about upbringing a lot of people that saw the
Speaker 3: bathroom was as a kid. You know what I'm saying,
Speaker 3: They were probably raised by people who didn't. Don't think
Speaker 3: that's Germany. I'm a germophobe. Like I just be like,
Speaker 3: my pussy is open, it's like an open wound. Stuff's
Speaker 3: gonna get in there.
Speaker 1: You got a wide set vagina, dr shut.
Speaker 3: Up your pussy open too, like it's a it's flesh,
Speaker 3: it's not closed like a penis.
Speaker 4: So you want to eat this koochie off of this
Speaker 4: dirty toilet?
Speaker 3: Okay? So I don't know, but be clear about your
Speaker 3: relationship goals and how much you're willing to invest upfront. Right,
Speaker 3: So that's the first thing you gotta do to set
Speaker 3: the boundaries essentially, and ask a lot of questions, are
Speaker 3: we building towards towards me marriage.
Speaker 4: Or we're just vibing what we doing?
Speaker 3: And usually if the man if yeah, absolutely, but usually
Speaker 3: if the man is at this age shah girl, first date,
Speaker 3: ask all the questions and if he's not for you,
Speaker 3: if you just too much for him. Then you'll get
Speaker 3: rid of him early before you even use your gucci up.
Speaker 4: Okay, he ain't for you.
Speaker 1: But I'd be feeling like some of the questions, like
Speaker 1: you gotta just gradually ask him, because sometimes if you
Speaker 1: ask too many questions on the first day, it becomes
Speaker 1: like an interview.
Speaker 3: And but y'all both supposed to be asking questions. It's
Speaker 3: nothing he need to know about you.
Speaker 1: No motherfucker get these jokes.
Speaker 3: See, Look, you know what I'm saying there. You have
Speaker 3: a lot of nuance. There's a lot of things about
Speaker 3: you that somebody may or may not like.
Speaker 4: So we should we both parties should.
Speaker 3: Be exchanging information. You should be getting to know each
Speaker 3: other in those first couple dates.
Speaker 1: Right.
Speaker 3: But when you go straight to fucking and not dating,
Speaker 3: you know, you gotta know that's the relationship dynamic at
Speaker 3: that point, right, Okay, And it says signs that it
Speaker 3: might be toxic one sided work plans, love.
Speaker 1: Dating your peers, and they think I'm supposed to be
Speaker 1: fucking as fast as y'all, and I don't appreciate it
Speaker 1: because I'm.
Speaker 3: Not no more. Because there was a time in life
Speaker 3: it wasn't for it was for me, Like I really
Speaker 3: wasn't even thinking about the man in that point, Like
Speaker 3: that was me being selfish. I wanted to fuck. That's
Speaker 3: why I like hauling that man, because you get exactly
Speaker 3: who you want and what you want. I don't be
Speaker 3: waiting for nobody to try to talk to me. If
Speaker 3: I like you, I'm trying to hauler at your ass first.
Speaker 4: Me too, so you get what you want.
Speaker 3: The fuck you're sitting there waiting for a man to
Speaker 3: haller at you if you want to, You're gonna keep
Speaker 3: getting toads because they like you, get you a man
Speaker 3: and you like.
Speaker 4: Anyway. Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 3: To each his own right, I am guilty of doing
Speaker 3: wifely things, but it would probably be in a dynamic
Speaker 3: where I'm living with a man, right, I'm not going
Speaker 3: to somebody else's house on a regular basis and cleaning
Speaker 3: the shit up the times that I have had to
Speaker 3: do that because usually I date pretty clean men like
Speaker 3: I'm that's I am.
Speaker 4: Actually I had to.
Speaker 3: Go revise my whole, you know, my manifestation for a
Speaker 3: man thing, right, because I need somebody who takes as
Speaker 3: many showers as I do. I need someone like who
Speaker 3: puts shit up when they're done with it, you know, like, yeah,
Speaker 3: I recognize that.
Speaker 1: You sure you don't want you a bitch?
Speaker 3: No, because I've dated men. My daddy's like that, and
Speaker 3: I have dated some men. They probably had a little
Speaker 3: other little shit I was sick of. But I definitely
Speaker 3: have dating men who keep their house in pristine order.
Speaker 4: And I was.
Speaker 3: It was a joy in being over there rubbing my
Speaker 3: motherfucking feet together underneath them clean sheets. Yes, I have right,
Speaker 3: but you ain't gonna always get what you want. But
Speaker 3: cleanliness is like real high on the top of my list,
Speaker 3: real real high.
Speaker 1: Yeah that's fair. I don't want no nasty nigga, but
Speaker 1: if it's my nigga, I'll make sure the house is clean.
Speaker 1: Don't be the nigga who like your shirt on the
Speaker 1: floor next to the laundry basket that pisses me off.
Speaker 1: Just put it in there. It's right there. But it
Speaker 1: ain't got to be perfect. You ain't got to be perfect. Longest,
Speaker 1: are my flaws balance your flaws? Like what I'm lacking,
Speaker 1: you providing what you're lacking. I'm providing. I'm okay with it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, nigga told me i'd be having weave at the floorboard.
Speaker 4: You know what I do.
Speaker 3: I make sure there's no weave at the floorboard, so
Speaker 3: that couldn't be a complaint anymore. And he was only
Speaker 3: using that as an example because I was complaining about
Speaker 3: some shit he was doing.
Speaker 4: Right, He was like, I don't be complaining about your weed.
Speaker 3: Got it up.
Speaker 4: Guess what. Let me make sure that's never a complain
Speaker 4: because you only gotta tell me one time.
Speaker 1: Mm hm.
Speaker 3: As an adult, you only have to tell me something
Speaker 3: bothers you one time. I'm gonna try my hardest to
Speaker 3: never have to let you critique me in that way again.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna fix it, but I feel like if I
Speaker 3: gotta keeping something, I'm gonna.
Speaker 4: Pop you.
Speaker 1: Like a child.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna pop you like a baby. You're not fucking listening.
Speaker 4: And I only expect to repeat myself to fucking kids anyway.
Speaker 4: Y'all keep doing y'all wifely shit.
Speaker 3: I mean, if that's what you think you gotta do
Speaker 3: to get the ring, I'm here to tell you that
Speaker 3: ship don't fucking work. You gonna be mad, okay, be
Speaker 3: a bitch.
Speaker 1: No do the wifely thing mean? You know how they
Speaker 1: say don't dress for the job. You have, dress for
Speaker 1: the job you want. That's what you gotta do. Man.
Speaker 4: I think you should just be the person you want, right,
Speaker 4: so focus on that first.
Speaker 1: That's what I mean you want.
Speaker 3: Yeah, anyway, y'all go ahead to y'all things. Whatever the
Speaker 3: fuck y'all feel like doing your relationships. That's your business.
Speaker 3: But don't be mad if you don't get the outcome
Speaker 3: you're looking for. So so y'all enjoyed this episode. Y'all
Speaker 3: tune in every Thursday in the Black Effect. I heeart
Speaker 3: Radio app wherever the fuck you get your podcast at?
Speaker 4: Tell me over here producing wrap it out.
Speaker 1: Bitch, wrap it up.
Speaker 3: Bitch. You said that three times. Y'all don it every
Speaker 3: Thursday and the Black Effect. I heard Radio Apple, Where
Speaker 3: the fuck you get your podcast at? This your co
Speaker 3: host Aja Holiday two point on Instagram.
Speaker 1: Skick of Tam y'all's official Tam Bama on Instagram. Y'all
Speaker 1: follow me now. We are still looking for interns. If
Speaker 1: you're interested, We need some more. We need a gang
Speaker 1: of y'all, So y'all send us your your resumes to
Speaker 1: we talk back E and T at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1: We are looking for you, and we welcome you. Hmm.
Speaker 1: If you got what it takes, remember speak.
Speaker 3: Now and hold the motherfucking wifely duties until you actually
Speaker 3: know it's your husband in front of you, Until you
Speaker 3: know that's your husband.
Speaker 4: Hold hold on a little bit, Just hold on a
Speaker 4: little bit.
Speaker 1: Do some of that ship.
Speaker 3: Bye y'all.