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Speaker 1: Hoping to.

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Speaker 2: We talked back where we encourage you to hustle hard,

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Speaker 2: laugh louder, and always keep it cute. So grab your coffee,

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Speaker 2: cocktail and crown because it's about a go. Damn.

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Speaker 1: We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion. He talks.

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Speaker 3: What's up, y'all, it's your girl, aj Holiday, what's up, Tam.

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Speaker 1: Dam y'all, it's TVAM. I love y'all so so so

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Speaker 1: very much. I love you.

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Speaker 4: I love you more.

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Speaker 3: On your weekend, girl, y'all. My weekend was horrible, Okay.

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Speaker 3: I had to rush my kid to the emergency room. Damn,

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Speaker 3: Dosha the fucking cat man.

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Speaker 1: What happened to Dasha?

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Speaker 3: She ate a stimulant, a prescribed stimulant that I must

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Speaker 3: have dropped on the floor at some point, and I

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Speaker 3: just felt like losing Isaiah. Sitting up in the vet.

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Speaker 3: I was just waiting for the police to come looking

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Speaker 3: for a prescription, like I just knew I was going

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Speaker 3: to fucking jail. Bitch. I was in there boohoo, crying

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Speaker 3: like a baby, okay, and cried even more when I

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Speaker 3: got the goddamn bill.

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Speaker 1: Okay.

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Speaker 4: I was distraught.

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Speaker 3: So she's getting back to normal kind of now. So

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Speaker 3: she actually had to stay in the hospital overnight on Friday,

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Speaker 3: and y'all avet don't be playing if y'all work somewhere,

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Speaker 3: and they offered some goddamn vet vet assurance paid on

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Speaker 3: a couple of dollars every couple of months a lot

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Speaker 3: of people. I didn't even tell people for real what

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Speaker 3: was happening with my cat, because.

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Speaker 4: The one two people.

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Speaker 3: I did tell is like I'm crazy for trying to

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Speaker 3: save my cat's life, like they would just get another cat.

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Speaker 3: Rest of all, Yasha cost me twelve hundred dollars for

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Speaker 3: that fucking cat. The breach is her kittens could sell

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Speaker 3: upwards three thousand dollars a pop. I'm not just letting

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Speaker 3: my cat die regardless.

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Speaker 4: I will even eat.

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Speaker 3: Meat, So imagine me letting the cat die.

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Speaker 4: So I'm gonna do whatever.

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Speaker 1: It takes to keep her healthy. And am your animals

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Speaker 1: become like family. You know you're not just gonna let

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Speaker 1: them die if you can afford it.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't even necessarily like I can afford it,

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Speaker 3: but I don't want to afford it.

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Speaker 4: That's the problem.

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Speaker 3: I did not want to afford this VET bill, but

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Speaker 3: I cried a lot, and by the time I went

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Speaker 3: to go pick her up on Sunday, it was half

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Speaker 3: the price. I was like, oh my god, that's gonna

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Speaker 3: put me in a major for that. Your hardship, I

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Speaker 3: cannot bitch when I say I was acting out in there.

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Speaker 3: I was acting out in there, and like once I

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Speaker 3: knew she would be okay, Like I was acting out

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Speaker 3: more so about the bill, right, Yeah.

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Speaker 1: It'd taken her to the vig. You should have had

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Speaker 1: her like organized. Listen, when I ever Adderall, it made

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Speaker 1: me feel like I could do everything. You should have

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Speaker 1: had Dossa organized some episodes.

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Speaker 3: The house not make her its an intern, no, but

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Speaker 3: it has like an average. It's so weird because you know,

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Speaker 3: cats are very like finicky when it comes to food,

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Speaker 3: but it's something in the stimulants that they like that

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Speaker 3: they're attracted to the smell of it, the taste of it.

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Speaker 3: So this is like a common thing that happens with cats.

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Speaker 3: So if you have like a kid that's on adderall

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Speaker 3: or or what's the other one, red Lin and shit

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Speaker 3: like that, like, and you have animals like for whatever reason.

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Speaker 4: Cats like Adderall.

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Speaker 3: She ate majority of the pill I came home once

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Speaker 3: I got home Saturday night and looked underneath the fucking dresser.

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Speaker 4: I see like the little pieces.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god, this cat really like and I remember.

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Speaker 1: I just feel like you didn't take advantage of that.

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Speaker 3: She couldn't do anything, like It's like it's like somebody

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Speaker 3: had control altlite her shit.

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Speaker 4: Like she was just standing in one spot looking.

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Speaker 3: I sent you the.

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Speaker 4: Video how she was looked at Hi. She couldn't do nothing.

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Speaker 3: They couldn't so it makes their heart rate rise real high.

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Speaker 3: Like her shit was like her blood press was like

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Speaker 3: one ninety six over something. Oh wow, yes, so they

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Speaker 3: had to like dip her in an ice bath. Shit

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Speaker 3: was real serious. Like Dasha was on her way out

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Speaker 3: of head to meet her maker, the cat maker.

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Speaker 1: Damn.

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Speaker 3: And I my heart cannot take losing another animal, I said,

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Speaker 3: my heart cannot take losing another animal like Bella is

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Speaker 3: stole my screen saving on my cell phone. That's how

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Speaker 3: much I missed that dog. Dasha is ten months girl.

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Speaker 4: I could not.

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Speaker 3: I wouldn't have been able to function for at least

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Speaker 3: a week or two. Yeah, and then I had some

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Speaker 3: family shit going on. Yeah, it was Memorial Day. I

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Speaker 3: laid my ass down, bitch. I went to Belks and

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Speaker 3: Dillers like an old bitch dude to check out these

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Speaker 3: Memorial Day sales on some sheets and pillows and shit

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Speaker 3: old lady stuff. And I brought my ass back to

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Speaker 3: the house shift. I hope your weekend was better.

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Speaker 1: I mean, it ain't hard.

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Speaker 3: To top that, stupid I'm sorry, hard to talk that.

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Speaker 1: I got on a plane and we went somewhere. I'm

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Speaker 1: somewhere else right now, nice, and I went on a day.

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Speaker 3: They don't sound like you're trying to tell us or

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Speaker 3: the listeners me or the listeners where you at week

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Speaker 3: on a plane and.

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Speaker 1: You just know I got on a plane, y'all, and

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Speaker 1: I got to come back home on Thursday morning, and

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Speaker 1: I'm still here.

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Speaker 3: You spending the night, bitch.

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Speaker 4: I'm happy for you.

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Speaker 1: Sign let's get into scenes.

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Speaker 4: Because you're sending all right. So, okay, I know the internet.

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Speaker 3: Seeing what's happening between remy Ma and Papoos and Clarissa's shields.

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Speaker 3: I don't think she's really in the equation per se.

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Speaker 3: Are they actually divorced already?

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Speaker 1: No, that's the issue.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, And so now you're publicly online like regardless

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Speaker 3: of what Papoos is saying remy Ma could go to court.

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Speaker 3: He bet it has a real life proof right because

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Speaker 3: he is online publicly with his girlfriend. Remy Ma went

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Speaker 3: live like captain on his live with him talking shit

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Speaker 3: or added him to her live right to check the shit.

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Speaker 3: He was just talking on his live and like you

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Speaker 3: know how you it's like somebody call your phone. You're

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Speaker 3: on live, like your screen comes up it's him and Carissa,

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Speaker 3: like a picture like his avatar is him and Carissa.

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Speaker 3: So she has a lot of ammo hey for court

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Speaker 3: if she wants to put something, throw some fidelity and

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Speaker 3: fidelity in there.

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Speaker 1: Don't get from him.

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Speaker 3: No, she ain't gonna get well, but he can get

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Speaker 3: from her. So she could prove that he was the one.

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Speaker 3: You know, maybe she wouldn't have to pay as much alimony.

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Speaker 3: Oh you see, because she is the bread woman where

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Speaker 3: we we say she's the bread winner. Papoo says that's

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Speaker 3: not true. But I don't know. Maybe she had I

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Speaker 3: don't know.

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Speaker 1: All I know is real me my but and I

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Speaker 1: play with Cliversa. You see him stocking shoes, baggy your ass?

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Speaker 4: Yes, yea.

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Speaker 1: Lady alone. She looked like a house was about to

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Speaker 1: drop on the play.

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Speaker 4: Ada looked like a mouse was chewing on the tip

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Speaker 4: of them shoes. Bitch, she don't give a fuck, She

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Speaker 4: don't give a fuck.

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Speaker 1: Don't play with.

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Speaker 3: That, lady. Mom, you're gonna have to catch another shooting

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Speaker 3: charge because you.

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Speaker 4: Can't be here over and we talk.

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Speaker 3: Absolutely. I think she's a very sweet girl, just real innocent.

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Speaker 3: She's real innocent, and she just authentically who the fuck

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Speaker 3: she is, like she ain't trying to be nobody else. Okay, obviously,

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Speaker 3: because that girl had on tights, y'all. Remember them tights

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Speaker 3: your mom and them black dark ass tights going to church.

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Speaker 3: You ain't even start wearing, no, shearstock because he was

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Speaker 3: grown child. Those those are fucking tights black one quite.

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Speaker 1: It was too big? Give it wicked with each other?

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Speaker 4: What of the Bronx wicked witch of the Bronx?

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Speaker 1: Bitch where she from?

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Speaker 3: And the Brons people? Crazy? Child?

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Speaker 1: Girl?

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Speaker 3: My lashes stick it to the bottom yet the Brons

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Speaker 3: people crazy?

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Speaker 4: I love you, So you know this, Okay, So y'all.

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Speaker 3: When we first started this podcast, I was actually engaged

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Speaker 3: to somebody, right, and the relationship ended, and I know

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Speaker 3: I probably shared a lot of like not even a

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Speaker 3: lot because it was a whole lot of shit that

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Speaker 3: transparred in that relationship. But I know I probably talked

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Speaker 3: a little bit of shit, right And you know he

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Speaker 3: would actually tell me he feels like I'm trolling him

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Speaker 3: on the podcast. Now, mind you, nobody knows who he

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Speaker 3: is though, right, So, remy Ma and Patpoos have always been,

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Speaker 3: you know, especially since she came home from prison before

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Speaker 3: everybody just thought, you know, he's just holding it down somewhere,

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Speaker 3: waiting on remy Maudy that she actually comes home to

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Speaker 3: get married. They're like the symbol of black love for

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Speaker 3: many years, and now here they are like spilling the

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Speaker 3: super beans, okay about their relationship because now they're at

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Speaker 3: odds and they're breaking up. Is that the same thing

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Speaker 3: I was doing? I yeah, I don't think so.

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Speaker 1: I mean kind of.

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Speaker 3: I don't think so, Like I would never drag somebody

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Speaker 3: I once loved like that.

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Speaker 4: How they're doing now?

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Speaker 3: I know Remy is a is a loving woman because

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Speaker 3: the way she packed that nigga stuff up nice and

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Speaker 3: neat in these little plastic bags she probably ordered off

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Speaker 3: Amazon thirty in a bunch. She packed this shit up

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Speaker 3: real nice. But you know, if you only got clothes

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Speaker 3: out of house. You ain't got no steak in at

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Speaker 3: home for real, right, all you got is closed. There

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Speaker 3: ain't no furniture you could take. You just got clothes

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Speaker 3: in the place.

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Speaker 1: Take the TV, my nigga.

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Speaker 3: It was a whole bunch of bends and clothes. So she,

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Speaker 3: I mean, she packed it out real nice for him.

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Speaker 1: I just hate that because I remember when people used

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Speaker 1: to say that they were goals. You know. That's why

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Speaker 1: you can't make nobody your goals. You just have to

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Speaker 1: make your goals and make it just about you and

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Speaker 1: not nobody else shit, because people should be falling apart.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, man, And you never know, Like the internet is

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Speaker 3: not a real place as much as we as much

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Speaker 3: as it's a part of our lives. You know, I

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Speaker 3: had an idea for a book. I won't say the

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Speaker 3: name of it, but.

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Speaker 1: It's like.

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Speaker 3: It's a one big it's one big filter the internet

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Speaker 3: mm hmm. You know, you do not know what is

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Speaker 3: actually going on with anybody just by looking at pictures

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Speaker 3: and what they choose to show you or even what

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Speaker 3: they choose to say.

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Speaker 4: On live and shit like that. You don't know.

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Speaker 3: You never know. So you know, she said that he

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Speaker 3: was cheating her the entire time he was in she

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Speaker 3: was in prison. I mean, I don't consider it cheating.

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Speaker 3: If I go to jail for eight years, nigga have

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Speaker 3: at it, Okay. If we be together when I come home,

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Speaker 3: then so fucking be it. I would never want anybody

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Speaker 3: to put their life on hold for me, right, So

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Speaker 3: I don't consider that cheating.

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Speaker 1: You never assumed that they were, you.

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Speaker 4: Know, right, Like, I think that was the aine.

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Speaker 1: As far as I'm concerned, long as you do it

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Speaker 1: quietly and don't embarrass me, go ahead, you know.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I agree.

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Speaker 3: Shit, even even now, I just don't want to hear

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Speaker 3: about it. I just I don't want to see about it.

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Speaker 3: I don't want to hear about it. Don't play in

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Speaker 3: my face. Do it quietly.

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Speaker 4: That's love.

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Speaker 3: It is love when your significant other never finds out

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Speaker 3: did you fuck somebody else? That is a love.

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Speaker 4: That is like a epitome of love.

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Speaker 3: Because shit gonna happen, especially when you with somebody for many,

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Speaker 3: many years. Like I just think, I think there are

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Speaker 3: people that could be in committed relationships for a very

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Speaker 3: long time and never you know, never cheat.

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Speaker 4: But what are the odds?

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Speaker 3: Right?

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Speaker 4: The odds are.

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Speaker 3: Very slim, so I just think they need to have

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Speaker 3: It's like, where did this respect go?

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Speaker 4: Y'all just said, fuck respect. I don't like this nigga

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Speaker 4: no more.

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Speaker 3: We need together and I'm gonna just embarrass him as

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Speaker 3: much as possible.

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Speaker 1: Hurt people, hurt people, that's what they say.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't never want that type of love, even

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Speaker 3: from a friend.

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Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying, Even from a friend. I

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Speaker 4: don't like you.

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Speaker 3: Wanna get on a public platform and talk crazy about

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Speaker 3: me and people know who I am. It's just different

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Speaker 3: when people know who you're talking about. So seeing what's

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Speaker 3: going on with them didn't make me think about you know,

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Speaker 3: the shit I probably talked, which probably nobody even remembers

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Speaker 3: the things I've said.

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Speaker 1: They don't, especially the people who know him, who though.

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Speaker 3: The fuck? But do people know him? Let me stop

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Speaker 3: being shady, okay anyway, Yeah, I want papoos and read

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Speaker 3: me to be better. Y'all have a daughter. The internet

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Speaker 3: is fucking ink, is not pencil. You cannot erase the

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Speaker 3: things that you've done. And we see how smartness little

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Speaker 3: girl is. I'm pretty sure she'd be on YouTube. She's

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Speaker 3: probably gonna be seeing some of the things that you

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Speaker 3: said about her dad and some of the things he

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Speaker 3: said about.

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Speaker 4: Her, Like, it's just it's not cool. It's not cool.

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Speaker 1: You have to remind yourself that people delight in your misery.

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Speaker 1: Don't give them nothing. Don't give them.

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Speaker 4: Nothing, Pam Dust, Yeah, that's why I What else is

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Speaker 4: that going on?

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Speaker 1: Chiall? Okay? So, a New York couple charged guests three

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Speaker 1: hundred and thirty three dollars to attend their wedding. Out

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Speaker 1: of three hundred and fifty invites, only sixty people showed up.

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Speaker 1: So he says this Nova and Remo Styles redefined wedding

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Speaker 1: norms by inviting guests to purchase three hundred and thirty

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Speaker 1: three dollars tickets to attend their twelve hour celebration across

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Speaker 1: New York City. This fee wasn't about covering calls. It

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Speaker 1: symbolizes the age of number three three three, representing change, growth,

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Speaker 1: and strength. Proceeds were donated to a foundation supporting couples

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Speaker 1: facing infertility challenges HMM. Originally planning for three fifty guests,

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Speaker 1: the Styles faced the challenge of narrowing their lists to

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Speaker 1: sixty two to logistical constrains. Oh so, it wasn't like

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Speaker 1: sixty people showed up out of three fifty. They narrowed

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Speaker 1: their guests down to sixty. Mm hmm, okay, that's fair,

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Speaker 1: and then all sixty people showed up with three hundred

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Speaker 1: and thirty three dollars.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and it says by introducing the ticket system, they

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Speaker 3: allowed friends and family to self select their participation, leading

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Speaker 3: to more intimate gathering. Despite initial skepticism, the event sold

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Speaker 3: out and the couple express no regrets, nothing that the

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Speaker 3: experience clarified, oh, noting that the experienced clarify the depth

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Speaker 3: of their relationship.

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Speaker 4: Okay, so it wasn't what we thought initially.

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Speaker 3: That is not tacky like take away the donation thing

300
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Speaker 3: like them donating the money and all that stuff, and

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Speaker 3: other cultures people help, they help, they help their the

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Speaker 3: loved ones have these weddings like we see the African weddings.

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Speaker 3: I want me an African wedding, like I need y'all

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Speaker 3: motherfuckers to show up and throw bands on me. And

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Speaker 3: I want to sit there and act like I don't care,

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Speaker 3: because that's what the woman is supposed to do. Y's

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00:15:35,520 --> 00:15:37,920
Speaker 3: supposed to act unbothered. Why he throw money on her?

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Speaker 3: I want to do that, and the bitch ain't gonna

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Speaker 3: never smile, Like I'm mean running them pockets, your family,

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Speaker 3: pay the dowry, all that shit, Like why aren't we

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Speaker 3: Black Americans don't support enough?

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Speaker 4: They don't support each other enough.

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Speaker 1: I agree, but I don't think you should charge to

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Speaker 1: get your support.

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Speaker 3: I think the people who actually love you, they're gonna

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Speaker 3: pay that three hundred and thirty three dollars. So maybe

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Speaker 3: that's even a way to wean out people who really

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Speaker 3: what if they don't come in to eat, What.

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Speaker 1: If they don't have three hundred and thirty then.

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Speaker 4: You shouldn't in the wedding. So you'll come to the.

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Speaker 1: That's the part. That's the part for me, because it's

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Speaker 1: people that I love who may not have three hundred

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Speaker 1: and thirty three dollars to throw up my occasion. They

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Speaker 1: got kids, you know, they got responsibilities and three three

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Speaker 1: three for me might not be in the budget, you know,

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Speaker 1: so they can't come.

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Speaker 3: Well, yeah, maybe we'll have we'll have a difference, a

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Speaker 3: separate celebration. But I think that there's nothing wrong with

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Speaker 3: people providing their love loved one financial assistance when getting married.

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Speaker 3: I think that it's a I think it's a great

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Speaker 3: thing if we plan a whole year in advance.

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Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 3: I feel like y'all should have three hundred and thirty

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Speaker 3: three dollars by next year. If not, we need to

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Speaker 3: evaluate some other shit. You know what I'm saying, Like

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00:16:57,560 --> 00:16:59,760
Speaker 3: you got to reevaluate your whole life. If you can't

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00:16:59,800 --> 00:17:02,560
Speaker 3: say three hundred and thirty three dollars for your loved one.

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Speaker 1: Well, if I got four kids, all of them need

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Speaker 1: something all the fucking time. I don't have no help.

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Speaker 1: The three three three just ain't showing up right now.

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Speaker 1: It's going to all kinds of shit.

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Speaker 3: They you just I don't I wouldn't feel like you

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Speaker 3: don't love me, right, Yeah, I wouldn't feel like you

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00:17:22,960 --> 00:17:25,200
Speaker 3: don't love me right, But maybe you just you can't

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Speaker 3: attend right now? People need to get more in the

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Speaker 3: like you.

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Speaker 1: Nobody come for free. You can't make no exceptions.

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Speaker 3: What I'm saying, if I were to if a person,

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Speaker 3: I wouldn't say, I wouldn't I wouldn't do this personally, right.

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Speaker 3: But if a person decides to do something like this, yeah,

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Speaker 3: that would mean you can't attend, and it's okay to

352
00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:43,360
Speaker 3: miss out. On things you want. You shouldn't have fomo

353
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Speaker 3: about it. This is just something you might have to

354
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Speaker 3: miss out on.

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Speaker 4: People come, wedding is a lot of times are for

356
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Speaker 4: other people.

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Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 4: A marriage costs as much as a marriage license.

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Speaker 3: So people are spending upwards twenty thirty forty fifty thousand

360
00:17:57,040 --> 00:17:59,720
Speaker 3: dollars on a wedding for people. Half the people don't

361
00:17:59,720 --> 00:18:03,960
Speaker 3: even your gift for real, So who's the celebration for?

362
00:18:05,640 --> 00:18:06,760
Speaker 3: So help me celebrate?

363
00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:07,400
Speaker 4: I love.

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00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:11,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't think there's anything wrong with people asking

365
00:18:12,440 --> 00:18:15,480
Speaker 3: for help. I don't even think it's help. I just

366
00:18:15,520 --> 00:18:17,760
Speaker 3: think everybody should just contribute. I think it should just

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Speaker 3: be a routine thing. I think it should just be

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Speaker 3: the culture.

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Speaker 1: Well, bitch, let me tell you this. You have a

370
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Speaker 1: wedding where you go charge me upwards of three hundred dollars.

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Speaker 4: You better tell me you.

372
00:18:28,280 --> 00:18:30,880
Speaker 3: Paid three hundred dollars for Beyonce tickets. You pay fifteen

373
00:18:30,920 --> 00:18:33,320
Speaker 3: hundred for Beyonce tickets, So you mean to tell me

374
00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:38,640
Speaker 3: you want to see Beyonce get We're rather probably fifteen

375
00:18:38,720 --> 00:18:41,879
Speaker 3: hundred for this strange ass bitch and your best to

376
00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:44,120
Speaker 3: get married, and you probably in the wedding too.

377
00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:45,680
Speaker 4: I might have paid for your dresses.

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00:18:46,080 --> 00:18:54,800
Speaker 1: I had pp you should have got you.

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00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:03,359
Speaker 3: That is terrible, man. You see what I'm saying, Like

380
00:19:03,400 --> 00:19:05,320
Speaker 3: people have money for the things they want to have

381
00:19:05,359 --> 00:19:09,280
Speaker 3: money for. Even a woman with four kids and no assistance,

382
00:19:09,400 --> 00:19:11,760
Speaker 3: like she got a habit, she's supporting that she not

383
00:19:11,840 --> 00:19:13,920
Speaker 3: spend three hundred and thirty three dollars on some weed,

384
00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:18,360
Speaker 3: some wine something. If you love me, save the three

385
00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:20,800
Speaker 3: hundred and thirty three dollars, man, and come to my

386
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Speaker 3: wedding and show out with me.

387
00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:24,240
Speaker 1: Is there going to be a zoom link that.

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00:19:27,280 --> 00:19:28,280
Speaker 4: That's gonna caught you do?

389
00:19:28,560 --> 00:19:34,639
Speaker 3: I'm charge ten dollars for the zoom link and the

390
00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:36,880
Speaker 3: shit gonna cut off every forty five minutes because I've

391
00:19:36,880 --> 00:19:43,040
Speaker 3: got no subscription. No man, But I understand. I understand

392
00:19:43,040 --> 00:19:44,679
Speaker 3: both sides and things like, yeah, you can't pay for

393
00:19:44,720 --> 00:19:47,159
Speaker 3: some shit you don't have, But I know that people

394
00:19:47,240 --> 00:19:50,560
Speaker 3: find money for things they actually want to do, right,

395
00:19:51,040 --> 00:19:53,879
Speaker 3: So it's just what you what you deem important, That's

396
00:19:53,920 --> 00:19:58,600
Speaker 3: that's it. It's the same thing with destination weddings. If

397
00:19:58,640 --> 00:20:02,959
Speaker 3: you can't get there like then you just won't be

398
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:04,520
Speaker 3: at the wedding. I won't think you don't love me.

399
00:20:04,560 --> 00:20:07,320
Speaker 3: You couldn't get there, so I might have a destination

400
00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:09,600
Speaker 3: wedding and whoever could get there will be in attendance.

401
00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:12,480
Speaker 4: It's fine.

402
00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:17,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, So I know y'all saw over the weekend

403
00:20:17,280 --> 00:20:21,080
Speaker 3: or last week Don Richard took the stand. Okay, she

404
00:20:21,160 --> 00:20:23,640
Speaker 3: took the stand and the Diddy trial. I haven't actually

405
00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:28,880
Speaker 3: done a deep dive on the most recent stuff in

406
00:20:28,720 --> 00:20:32,440
Speaker 3: the in the in the in the hearings, I haven't,

407
00:20:32,720 --> 00:20:35,360
Speaker 3: but anyway, I know she took the stand. And then

408
00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:40,000
Speaker 3: also her ex boyfriend was on a podcast Q Mosley

409
00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:47,199
Speaker 3: and he reportedly accused Don Richard of drugging him with

410
00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:51,840
Speaker 3: a pill. So this was her boyfriend, I mean, excuse me,

411
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Speaker 3: this was his girlfriend.

412
00:20:53,560 --> 00:20:55,119
Speaker 4: He trusted her.

413
00:20:57,000 --> 00:21:02,280
Speaker 3: They both took a pill to his recollection, recollection, the

414
00:21:02,320 --> 00:21:06,480
Speaker 3: same pill. But apparently he was out of it, like

415
00:21:06,560 --> 00:21:11,280
Speaker 3: he was incoherent, like he went down basically, and when

416
00:21:11,280 --> 00:21:13,639
Speaker 3: he came to, he says that he was in the

417
00:21:13,720 --> 00:21:19,080
Speaker 3: twins bed. So I don't know what what he's alluding

418
00:21:19,080 --> 00:21:22,000
Speaker 3: to that could have possibly happened. Maybe that's just where

419
00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:24,680
Speaker 3: they rested him at. I don't know what happened to

420
00:21:24,760 --> 00:21:28,439
Speaker 3: him while he was unconscious. Yeah, and maybe he's just

421
00:21:28,480 --> 00:21:32,800
Speaker 3: not speaking to it. He said, I've never drugged anyone,

422
00:21:32,920 --> 00:21:36,200
Speaker 3: nor have I ever given anyone pills to take. He

423
00:21:36,359 --> 00:21:39,760
Speaker 3: mostly alleged that he experienced memory loss and trauma after

424
00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:42,920
Speaker 3: taking a pill he believed was ecstasy given to him

425
00:21:42,960 --> 00:21:47,080
Speaker 3: by Don Richard during a visit to to Diddy's Hampton's estate.

426
00:21:47,760 --> 00:21:52,240
Speaker 3: He described feeling like a labrat in an experimental in

427
00:21:52,280 --> 00:21:56,479
Speaker 3: an emotional experiment, and blamed for his lasting trauma, including

428
00:21:56,520 --> 00:22:01,520
Speaker 3: hallucinations and memory loss. And then she explained her silence

429
00:22:01,520 --> 00:22:03,760
Speaker 3: on the matter as a way to protect Q and

430
00:22:03,800 --> 00:22:07,520
Speaker 3: his family, emphasizing her intention to move forward with integrity

431
00:22:07,560 --> 00:22:11,400
Speaker 3: and compassion. She said the relationship between it's it's said

432
00:22:11,440 --> 00:22:14,639
Speaker 3: that the relationship between Don Richard and Qi Moseley began

433
00:22:14,720 --> 00:22:18,600
Speaker 3: during their time of making the band four has now

434
00:22:18,720 --> 00:22:22,680
Speaker 3: come under scrutiny as they navigate conflicting narratives about their past.

435
00:22:22,720 --> 00:22:26,440
Speaker 4: So she's denying that that even happened now.

436
00:22:26,440 --> 00:22:29,280
Speaker 3: He did say on that podcast episode that they both

437
00:22:29,280 --> 00:22:32,720
Speaker 3: took a pill. Maybe he had an adverse effect to it,

438
00:22:32,760 --> 00:22:35,760
Speaker 3: I don't know, or maybe he suggested that she gave

439
00:22:35,840 --> 00:22:41,480
Speaker 3: him something else other than ecstasy, and then I wonder

440
00:22:41,720 --> 00:22:42,880
Speaker 3: what happened to him?

441
00:22:43,320 --> 00:22:48,480
Speaker 4: Did he have did I was thinking that I just

442
00:22:48,600 --> 00:22:50,280
Speaker 4: wasn't going to say it, dog, I.

443
00:22:50,359 --> 00:22:52,719
Speaker 1: Wasn't going to say it would make a difference.

444
00:22:53,040 --> 00:22:55,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, absolutely, So I want to know. I want to

445
00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:59,120
Speaker 3: know more about what he experienced because if y'all all

446
00:22:59,240 --> 00:23:02,480
Speaker 3: sitting there taking recreational drugs, you know what I'm saying. Like,

447
00:23:02,520 --> 00:23:04,320
Speaker 3: the first time I did shrooms, I did it with

448
00:23:04,359 --> 00:23:08,320
Speaker 3: my ex. I was cool, I had my headphones on,

449
00:23:08,480 --> 00:23:12,239
Speaker 3: listening to meditation music. This nigga was clearly having a

450
00:23:12,280 --> 00:23:16,040
Speaker 3: panic attack, Okay, Like I almost was like, damn, dude,

451
00:23:16,119 --> 00:23:17,639
Speaker 3: do I need to call a paramedics because he just

452
00:23:17,680 --> 00:23:19,920
Speaker 3: couldn't keep still, Like he just would lay down, he

453
00:23:19,960 --> 00:23:21,880
Speaker 3: would get up. He was pacing, pacing back and forth.

454
00:23:21,920 --> 00:23:25,480
Speaker 3: He was visibly nervous. Right, we took the same thing,

455
00:23:25,520 --> 00:23:26,159
Speaker 3: the same amount.

456
00:23:26,880 --> 00:23:28,080
Speaker 1: You ain't try to calm him down.

457
00:23:29,720 --> 00:23:32,840
Speaker 3: I did try, But like, what do you so, how

458
00:23:32,880 --> 00:23:34,639
Speaker 3: do you call him somebody that you know when you

459
00:23:34,680 --> 00:23:36,439
Speaker 3: take certain stimulants, you just have to wait for it

460
00:23:36,440 --> 00:23:37,240
Speaker 3: to get out your system.

461
00:23:37,640 --> 00:23:41,960
Speaker 1: I thought some one person supposed to stay sober when.

462
00:23:41,800 --> 00:23:44,800
Speaker 4: You're doing shrooms. Shrooms the thing with shrooms is that

463
00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:45,679
Speaker 4: your mind.

464
00:23:45,760 --> 00:23:48,879
Speaker 3: It depends on your mind, like right, your mental state,

465
00:23:49,320 --> 00:23:53,920
Speaker 3: So obviously it exposed his mental state. That's probably how

466
00:23:53,920 --> 00:23:56,240
Speaker 3: his mind feels on a daily basis, Like now I

467
00:23:56,280 --> 00:23:59,800
Speaker 3: can see his subconscious mind running around the fucking room me.

468
00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:02,040
Speaker 3: But I'll call him as hell because that's normally how

469
00:24:02,080 --> 00:24:06,600
Speaker 3: I am. Mm hmmm, I don't know how. I mean, people,

470
00:24:06,680 --> 00:24:09,600
Speaker 3: I don't think it's safe to If we're gonna do shrooms,

471
00:24:09,600 --> 00:24:11,560
Speaker 3: how can one person just not do them? I'm gonna

472
00:24:11,560 --> 00:24:13,480
Speaker 3: just sit and watch how it affects you. That don't

473
00:24:13,480 --> 00:24:14,000
Speaker 3: make sense.

474
00:24:14,520 --> 00:24:17,880
Speaker 1: That's like if you a person just ain't getting hot today.

475
00:24:18,720 --> 00:24:22,240
Speaker 3: But we had planned all day to do shrooms together

476
00:24:22,320 --> 00:24:24,600
Speaker 3: for the first time, Like that's really what happened.

477
00:24:26,280 --> 00:24:29,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, but don doesn't strike me as the type that

478
00:24:29,880 --> 00:24:32,480
Speaker 1: would like intentionally hurt her boyfriend.

479
00:24:33,800 --> 00:24:37,119
Speaker 4: So yeah, maybe he just had an adverse effect to it.

480
00:24:37,960 --> 00:24:40,760
Speaker 1: But you never know. You never know who people is

481
00:24:40,800 --> 00:24:41,160
Speaker 1: for real.

482
00:24:41,320 --> 00:24:44,880
Speaker 4: Mm mmm, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't,

483
00:24:45,680 --> 00:24:46,439
Speaker 4: But I don't know.

484
00:24:46,480 --> 00:24:48,800
Speaker 3: We're so like we got I think the trial is

485
00:24:48,800 --> 00:24:50,760
Speaker 3: supposed to be like eight weeks long, like we're in

486
00:24:51,080 --> 00:24:53,480
Speaker 3: week three now or week four where we at I

487
00:24:53,520 --> 00:24:56,280
Speaker 3: think week three, So it's a lot more that's gonna

488
00:24:56,280 --> 00:25:01,080
Speaker 3: come out with that trial. That particular situation isn't on trial, right,

489
00:25:01,119 --> 00:25:02,679
Speaker 3: but I think he took it at you know, her

490
00:25:03,119 --> 00:25:05,359
Speaker 3: testifying in that case. He took it as an opportunity

491
00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:09,280
Speaker 3: to tell his truth and what he experienced during that time.

492
00:25:09,680 --> 00:25:14,600
Speaker 3: And I mean, you can't discredit people, right, But there's

493
00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:16,600
Speaker 3: always two sides there every story. So I don't know,

494
00:25:17,960 --> 00:25:23,280
Speaker 3: yeah that part, yeah, y'all, we come into an end

495
00:25:23,320 --> 00:25:25,240
Speaker 3: with the sins. But I do want to mention that

496
00:25:25,359 --> 00:25:27,280
Speaker 3: is a motherfucking Gemini season. I don't know if y'all

497
00:25:27,359 --> 00:25:33,080
Speaker 3: knew or not. Okay, there's most of your favorite rappers, okay,

498
00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:37,080
Speaker 3: are geminized. This is actually the United States of Gemini. Okay,

499
00:25:37,080 --> 00:25:48,000
Speaker 3: because Trump is also a Gemini. And I appreciate it, y'all.

500
00:25:48,080 --> 00:25:51,560
Speaker 3: I never realized how many people were actually geminized though.

501
00:25:51,600 --> 00:25:54,879
Speaker 3: It's like every year it's like new motherfucker's getting added on. Like,

502
00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:58,719
Speaker 3: I don't know, did you see money Long? Shut up?

503
00:25:58,760 --> 00:26:03,160
Speaker 3: Did you see money Long? Said? Uh? Well, she said

504
00:26:03,240 --> 00:26:07,800
Speaker 3: the worst zodiac as a female Gemini. And when she said,

505
00:26:07,840 --> 00:26:09,840
Speaker 3: I'm not explaining or I'm not arguing or whatever now,

506
00:26:09,880 --> 00:26:12,440
Speaker 3: mind you. When I saw that, I immediately went to go

507
00:26:12,480 --> 00:26:16,120
Speaker 3: see what her sign was. So money Long is a Virgo.

508
00:26:17,240 --> 00:26:19,840
Speaker 3: You know, I fell out with a Virgo bestie this year,

509
00:26:20,320 --> 00:26:23,480
Speaker 3: and we hadn't followed out over the past several months.

510
00:26:23,480 --> 00:26:26,159
Speaker 3: We had had plenty falling outs, right, But it is

511
00:26:26,280 --> 00:26:31,640
Speaker 3: the stamina for bullshit, the Gemini possess that keeps relationships

512
00:26:31,680 --> 00:26:35,280
Speaker 3: going even when people be violating us. So imagine a

513
00:26:35,280 --> 00:26:37,680
Speaker 3: motherfucker Gemini getting to a point to where you can't

514
00:26:37,720 --> 00:26:40,320
Speaker 3: violate me no more. So now it's fuck you, and

515
00:26:40,359 --> 00:26:43,440
Speaker 3: now I'm the worst zodiac sign. She can't say men,

516
00:26:43,560 --> 00:26:46,480
Speaker 3: She said the women geminis. I got a real problem

517
00:26:46,520 --> 00:26:49,359
Speaker 3: with that. Virgo. My best friend from first grade is

518
00:26:49,400 --> 00:26:53,080
Speaker 3: a Virgo, okay, and I love her down and we

519
00:26:53,240 --> 00:26:54,560
Speaker 3: never had no issues for real.

520
00:26:55,080 --> 00:26:58,360
Speaker 1: Do you think potentially it could just be the person. Yeah?

521
00:26:58,359 --> 00:27:02,480
Speaker 3: Absolutely, But she didn't say that though she said basically

522
00:27:02,600 --> 00:27:06,919
Speaker 3: fuck female geminis. Yes, I'm not saying she could not

523
00:27:07,080 --> 00:27:10,720
Speaker 3: have possibly had a bad experience with a woman who

524
00:27:10,760 --> 00:27:13,640
Speaker 3: happens to be a Gemini. Right, But once I saw

525
00:27:13,640 --> 00:27:15,560
Speaker 3: that she was a Virgo, and I know how bossy

526
00:27:15,960 --> 00:27:21,560
Speaker 3: and mean and possessive. Virgos can be Geminis you cannot control,

527
00:27:22,560 --> 00:27:26,600
Speaker 3: So we're gonna always be the kryptonite for goddamn Virgo

528
00:27:26,840 --> 00:27:27,920
Speaker 3: who's out of control.

529
00:27:28,760 --> 00:27:30,680
Speaker 4: Virgo women are nuts.

530
00:27:31,600 --> 00:27:35,520
Speaker 1: Like I, I believe in astrology a little bit, but

531
00:27:35,560 --> 00:27:40,280
Speaker 1: I just don't believe that everybody. When you were born,

532
00:27:40,960 --> 00:27:46,160
Speaker 1: this is your characteristics exclusively to you because you were

533
00:27:46,160 --> 00:27:49,919
Speaker 1: born in January, you know, Well.

534
00:27:49,800 --> 00:27:52,520
Speaker 3: It's what the moon, the alignments and stuff like that,

535
00:27:52,600 --> 00:27:56,520
Speaker 3: like the stars alignments particular times, because the time of

536
00:27:56,600 --> 00:27:59,359
Speaker 3: your birthday also plays a role in.

537
00:27:59,280 --> 00:28:01,960
Speaker 4: It, right, because you you have your main.

538
00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:07,640
Speaker 3: Sign, which I'm Gemini, right, so Gemini's son, but I'm

539
00:28:07,760 --> 00:28:10,480
Speaker 3: actually Virgo rising, right, so I.

540
00:28:10,480 --> 00:28:11,879
Speaker 4: Know what the fun I'm talking about when when it

541
00:28:11,880 --> 00:28:12,400
Speaker 4: comes to these.

542
00:28:12,320 --> 00:28:16,400
Speaker 3: Virgos and Libra moon, So all that stuff also then

543
00:28:16,480 --> 00:28:20,159
Speaker 3: plays a role in you know, people only pay attention

544
00:28:20,200 --> 00:28:22,280
Speaker 3: to the sun sign most of the sign, but all

545
00:28:22,320 --> 00:28:25,520
Speaker 3: that shit combination makes up who a person is, and

546
00:28:25,560 --> 00:28:28,520
Speaker 3: it's just really a baseline. No, I'm never gonna treat

547
00:28:28,560 --> 00:28:32,520
Speaker 3: anybody a particular way, like just based on their sign.

548
00:28:32,640 --> 00:28:34,240
Speaker 4: But he's people, I.

549
00:28:34,160 --> 00:28:38,400
Speaker 1: Know, yeah, I never he said he a Pisces.

550
00:28:39,920 --> 00:28:42,800
Speaker 3: That's how I am with Scorpio men and Aquarius man.

551
00:28:42,880 --> 00:28:44,719
Speaker 3: I ain't even gonna lie to you. You know, I

552
00:28:44,760 --> 00:28:46,720
Speaker 3: know Scorpio's gonna fuck the ship at you, but they're

553
00:28:46,720 --> 00:28:49,720
Speaker 3: gonna have your ass po zessed. Okay, they're gonna they

554
00:28:49,720 --> 00:28:50,400
Speaker 3: probably gonna.

555
00:28:50,200 --> 00:28:51,479
Speaker 4: Get you pregnant a lot of times.

556
00:28:51,520 --> 00:28:53,440
Speaker 3: All type of shit gonna be going on, Like you're

557
00:28:53,440 --> 00:28:54,959
Speaker 3: gonna have to move from state to state to get

558
00:28:55,000 --> 00:28:58,520
Speaker 3: away from the fucking Scorpio. And then Aquarius are very

559
00:28:58,760 --> 00:29:01,160
Speaker 3: very They're a super intellectual beings.

560
00:29:01,560 --> 00:29:06,400
Speaker 4: What the motherfuckers this crazy? Like they are all so crazy.

561
00:29:06,480 --> 00:29:08,440
Speaker 4: And then the men and women are also different.

562
00:29:09,160 --> 00:29:11,600
Speaker 3: But you know that I want to just speak to

563
00:29:11,600 --> 00:29:14,160
Speaker 3: you right quick, right, so you can get off this topic. Uh,

564
00:29:14,640 --> 00:29:18,280
Speaker 3: Geminis are not too faceted. Okay, Our attitude depends on.

565
00:29:18,400 --> 00:29:23,120
Speaker 4: You, that's what it is. We are very mutable, Okay.

566
00:29:22,960 --> 00:29:26,480
Speaker 1: It's like it's like sometimes it's like two people living inside.

567
00:29:26,640 --> 00:29:29,560
Speaker 3: It's actually more than two people, that's the thing, right,

568
00:29:29,800 --> 00:29:33,400
Speaker 3: But we are usually a mirror of who we talking to, right,

569
00:29:33,640 --> 00:29:35,720
Speaker 3: So that's one thing I work on as a Gemini.

570
00:29:35,840 --> 00:29:42,480
Speaker 3: I work on not allowing other people to determine my emotions.

571
00:29:42,480 --> 00:29:44,800
Speaker 3: And my feelings in a moment. I really am truly

572
00:29:44,880 --> 00:29:48,640
Speaker 3: studying stoicism, right, so I don't give a fuck, Like

573
00:29:48,680 --> 00:29:52,120
Speaker 3: I can't not let outside things determine how I feel

574
00:29:52,160 --> 00:29:53,840
Speaker 3: and how I'm gonna respond and stuff like that. You

575
00:29:53,880 --> 00:29:56,360
Speaker 3: know what I'm saying. Just just understand people dealing with

576
00:29:56,400 --> 00:29:59,920
Speaker 3: their own shit. But but Geminis like we however you come,

577
00:30:00,280 --> 00:30:02,800
Speaker 3: we're coming back just like that. It's just like no

578
00:30:02,920 --> 00:30:05,760
Speaker 3: real middle ground, right, So people might call that that's

579
00:30:05,760 --> 00:30:08,680
Speaker 3: not really two face. It's like I'm responding to how

580
00:30:08,760 --> 00:30:09,520
Speaker 3: I'm being treated.

581
00:30:10,160 --> 00:30:13,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I don't believe that all Geminis only respond

582
00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:18,040
Speaker 1: to how they're being treated. Sometimes Geminis are assholes up front.

583
00:30:20,200 --> 00:30:25,680
Speaker 3: You know, some asshole geminis upfront. I was an asshole

584
00:30:25,680 --> 00:30:30,840
Speaker 3: when we would be like for a very long time,

585
00:30:30,920 --> 00:30:33,840
Speaker 3: it'd be other little it'd be other little things, just

586
00:30:33,920 --> 00:30:38,280
Speaker 3: sprinkling writing that then changes like this question is your question?

587
00:30:38,400 --> 00:30:39,800
Speaker 1: There's no right answer.

588
00:30:42,600 --> 00:30:46,040
Speaker 3: If I had a knife to your back, right, sit

589
00:30:46,120 --> 00:30:47,400
Speaker 3: the wrong thing.

590
00:30:47,560 --> 00:30:52,240
Speaker 1: She's never said or done anything.

591
00:30:54,920 --> 00:30:57,600
Speaker 4: Like don't tit and I won't tat.

592
00:30:57,840 --> 00:31:00,440
Speaker 3: That's Gemini, okay, But like I said, some of your

593
00:31:00,480 --> 00:31:06,000
Speaker 3: favorite people a Gemini's Okay, Kanye west birthday is on

594
00:31:06,080 --> 00:31:09,760
Speaker 3: June eighth, just like mine, and I love Kanye. I understand, Kanye,

595
00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:10,760
Speaker 3: you know what I'm saying?

596
00:31:10,880 --> 00:31:13,400
Speaker 4: Like, I don't know. I don't know what to say.

597
00:31:13,720 --> 00:31:15,440
Speaker 1: What the fuck we talk about this week?

598
00:31:15,600 --> 00:31:17,800
Speaker 4: I don't know a child? Oh you know where we are?

599
00:31:17,880 --> 00:31:19,960
Speaker 3: Okay, what we're talking about this week when we come

600
00:31:20,000 --> 00:31:23,400
Speaker 3: back from break? We are talking about because I gots

601
00:31:23,400 --> 00:31:28,240
Speaker 3: some friends in some situations right now? Shit, me too, bitch.

602
00:31:28,320 --> 00:31:29,800
Speaker 4: Okay, let's be very clear.

603
00:31:30,960 --> 00:31:36,120
Speaker 3: Basically, you know, the pros and cons of acting like

604
00:31:36,160 --> 00:31:40,840
Speaker 3: a wife without actually being a wife. Are there any

605
00:31:40,880 --> 00:31:44,760
Speaker 3: pros to that? Are there any cons? Is it just

606
00:31:44,760 --> 00:31:46,960
Speaker 3: one of the same if you're a girlfriend.

607
00:31:47,200 --> 00:31:48,760
Speaker 4: I don't know. That's what I want to talk about though.

608
00:31:49,320 --> 00:31:51,760
Speaker 1: All right, let's talk about it, because what makes you

609
00:31:51,840 --> 00:31:53,480
Speaker 1: a wife? Just legal document?

610
00:31:53,520 --> 00:31:56,240
Speaker 4: That's the only thing, right, that part.

611
00:31:56,600 --> 00:31:58,440
Speaker 1: All right, we'll get into it when we get back.

612
00:32:03,680 --> 00:32:05,960
Speaker 1: All right. What's going on with your friends? Tell a story,

613
00:32:06,040 --> 00:32:07,040
Speaker 1: tell a stabusiness.

614
00:32:07,920 --> 00:32:10,480
Speaker 3: It ain't just friends all friends, right, it's just women

615
00:32:10,520 --> 00:32:13,680
Speaker 3: in general. I think that I remember being in college,

616
00:32:13,760 --> 00:32:18,000
Speaker 3: right and I've had some friends that any man that

617
00:32:18,040 --> 00:32:20,080
Speaker 3: they were in a relationship with like they would be

618
00:32:20,200 --> 00:32:20,560
Speaker 3: at this.

619
00:32:21,960 --> 00:32:24,480
Speaker 4: We talk to young people, young men.

620
00:32:24,400 --> 00:32:27,520
Speaker 3: Just at their house, like cleaning their house up, cleaning

621
00:32:27,520 --> 00:32:30,240
Speaker 3: a nigga house and cooking at the man's house and

622
00:32:30,240 --> 00:32:35,120
Speaker 3: shit like that. I know that people associate those little

623
00:32:35,160 --> 00:32:38,960
Speaker 3: small characteristics, are those little small activities right with being

624
00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:41,320
Speaker 3: a wife. But being a wife is so much more

625
00:32:41,480 --> 00:32:46,200
Speaker 3: than cooking and cleaning. Right when you get into fixing

626
00:32:46,240 --> 00:32:50,680
Speaker 3: a nigga life, which a lot of women do often, right,

627
00:32:50,760 --> 00:32:56,840
Speaker 3: you become this man's secretary, just making his life better,

628
00:32:57,160 --> 00:33:01,080
Speaker 3: right without the commitment part. That's where you be fucking

629
00:33:01,160 --> 00:33:03,640
Speaker 3: up at because you don't know if he's going to

630
00:33:03,680 --> 00:33:06,280
Speaker 3: marry you. You just don't know.

631
00:33:07,280 --> 00:33:11,680
Speaker 4: So you're doing all these things and you don't know

632
00:33:11,680 --> 00:33:13,320
Speaker 4: where you even stand with this man for real.

633
00:33:14,040 --> 00:33:20,160
Speaker 1: So all right, but ultimately all right, some of our goals,

634
00:33:20,560 --> 00:33:22,680
Speaker 1: not all of us. But it's to be a wife

635
00:33:22,840 --> 00:33:27,240
Speaker 1: at some point, Right, how do you want to be

636
00:33:27,520 --> 00:33:30,520
Speaker 1: seen as someone who could be a wife if you

637
00:33:30,600 --> 00:33:37,000
Speaker 1: don't start, you know, showing those characteristics beforehand, It's like,

638
00:33:37,520 --> 00:33:39,880
Speaker 1: can you just like, oh, he asked me to marry him,

639
00:33:39,880 --> 00:33:44,080
Speaker 1: so now I cut on these characteristics. Now I'm gonna

640
00:33:44,080 --> 00:33:44,800
Speaker 1: start doing the thing.

641
00:33:46,720 --> 00:33:49,120
Speaker 3: Okay, I can give an example of my life. Okay,

642
00:33:49,160 --> 00:33:52,600
Speaker 3: So when I was previously engaged, before we got engaged,

643
00:33:53,080 --> 00:33:55,400
Speaker 3: we were starting a business together.

644
00:33:58,360 --> 00:33:59,760
Speaker 4: Ben smashing raw.

645
00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:04,960
Speaker 3: Okay, doing all of these things together only for him,

646
00:34:06,720 --> 00:34:09,000
Speaker 3: you know, when I'm trying to hold him accountable for something,

647
00:34:09,760 --> 00:34:12,000
Speaker 3: which I'm learning that you can't hold other people accountable

648
00:34:12,040 --> 00:34:13,280
Speaker 3: for shit, like it's up to them.

649
00:34:13,560 --> 00:34:13,799
Speaker 4: Right.

650
00:34:14,120 --> 00:34:16,000
Speaker 3: So when I would try to hold him accountable for

651
00:34:16,040 --> 00:34:19,880
Speaker 3: things that had transpired in our relationship, he would always say, well,

652
00:34:19,719 --> 00:34:23,600
Speaker 3: we wasn't We wasn't together then, so in his mind

653
00:34:23,920 --> 00:34:26,839
Speaker 3: he well, no, I know, this wasn't in his mind.

654
00:34:26,880 --> 00:34:29,440
Speaker 3: This is a form of gaslight in me, right for

655
00:34:29,480 --> 00:34:32,000
Speaker 3: me to feel like we weren't even in a relationship

656
00:34:32,040 --> 00:34:34,680
Speaker 3: until he asked me to marry him. Imagine being with

657
00:34:34,719 --> 00:34:39,839
Speaker 3: somebody and doing all these things right, and they don't

658
00:34:39,840 --> 00:34:43,520
Speaker 3: consider it like none of the two last two three years. Right,

659
00:34:44,920 --> 00:34:47,080
Speaker 3: the moment he asked me to marry him is when

660
00:34:47,080 --> 00:34:49,680
Speaker 3: he's now in a committed relationship. But we had been

661
00:34:49,719 --> 00:34:53,360
Speaker 3: doing all the things prior to him asking me to

662
00:34:53,400 --> 00:34:56,359
Speaker 3: marry him, and I would always question, like I would

663
00:34:56,360 --> 00:34:58,000
Speaker 3: always ask him like what are we doing? Because I

664
00:34:58,000 --> 00:35:00,279
Speaker 3: didn't feel comfortable like I wanted to do the busines says.

665
00:35:00,320 --> 00:35:02,319
Speaker 3: I wanted to do those things. And if he was

666
00:35:02,360 --> 00:35:05,279
Speaker 3: somebody that I can still do business with today and

667
00:35:05,320 --> 00:35:07,200
Speaker 3: not be in a relationship with, we could have been

668
00:35:07,200 --> 00:35:10,279
Speaker 3: getting a bag, a major one, right. But I would

669
00:35:10,360 --> 00:35:13,839
Speaker 3: always ask him, like, because I needed clarification. I needed

670
00:35:13,840 --> 00:35:18,200
Speaker 3: to be comfortable doing these wifely things. I needed to

671
00:35:18,239 --> 00:35:21,239
Speaker 3: be comfortable being your business partner if I knew it

672
00:35:21,280 --> 00:35:24,040
Speaker 3: was going to lead to a lifetime of commitment, and

673
00:35:24,040 --> 00:35:25,880
Speaker 3: that I knew it was going to lead to marriage.

674
00:35:26,640 --> 00:35:31,080
Speaker 3: But I think oftentimes women assume that because you're doing

675
00:35:31,080 --> 00:35:33,400
Speaker 3: all these things with a man, that y'all are on

676
00:35:33,440 --> 00:35:34,160
Speaker 3: the same page.

677
00:35:35,600 --> 00:35:37,759
Speaker 1: But how do you know, Like, you never really know

678
00:35:37,800 --> 00:35:39,839
Speaker 1: if it's going to lead to marriage, whether you do

679
00:35:39,880 --> 00:35:40,520
Speaker 1: the things or not.

680
00:35:41,280 --> 00:35:43,080
Speaker 3: But you do know when a man is being honest

681
00:35:43,080 --> 00:35:45,400
Speaker 3: with you, right, when he's forthcoming with you, if you

682
00:35:45,440 --> 00:35:47,160
Speaker 3: ask him, hey, what are we doing? I want to

683
00:35:47,200 --> 00:35:49,440
Speaker 3: make sure I'm doing the right I want to be

684
00:35:49,480 --> 00:35:52,400
Speaker 3: comfortable doing these things with you. If he wants to

685
00:35:52,440 --> 00:35:55,320
Speaker 3: continue to fucking mind fuck you, he's not going to

686
00:35:55,400 --> 00:35:58,280
Speaker 3: be honest, right. But if you with somebody who actually

687
00:35:58,360 --> 00:36:01,239
Speaker 3: has your best interest at heart, who knows what he

688
00:36:01,320 --> 00:36:05,000
Speaker 3: has in the future for you, who's calculating you into

689
00:36:05,000 --> 00:36:08,040
Speaker 3: his future. You know it won't You won't ever be

690
00:36:08,120 --> 00:36:11,160
Speaker 3: confused about it. Right, So, if you're ever in a

691
00:36:11,200 --> 00:36:15,920
Speaker 3: relationship and there's confusion, it's because somebody is intentionally creating

692
00:36:15,920 --> 00:36:18,680
Speaker 3: that confusion because they don't want you to be at ease.

693
00:36:19,200 --> 00:36:21,400
Speaker 3: So if you with somebody who never wants you to

694
00:36:21,440 --> 00:36:24,000
Speaker 3: be relaxed and they always want you to be on edge,

695
00:36:24,120 --> 00:36:25,200
Speaker 3: that's not the person for you.

696
00:36:25,600 --> 00:36:28,480
Speaker 1: No, I agree, But a nigga might not know like

697
00:36:28,560 --> 00:36:32,120
Speaker 1: I feel like, or the woman might not be sure,

698
00:36:32,440 --> 00:36:34,120
Speaker 1: Like you can be doing all these things with a

699
00:36:34,160 --> 00:36:36,239
Speaker 1: person and still be unsure if you see them as

700
00:36:36,600 --> 00:36:39,360
Speaker 1: your husband or wife. Right, Sometimes I feel like that

701
00:36:39,440 --> 00:36:39,959
Speaker 1: takes time.

702
00:36:40,800 --> 00:36:43,720
Speaker 3: No, I was about to say absolutely, yeah, because things

703
00:36:43,800 --> 00:36:47,120
Speaker 3: change right while you're in the thing with the person.

704
00:36:47,760 --> 00:36:50,239
Speaker 3: Things do change right, and then you got to communicate

705
00:36:50,600 --> 00:36:53,080
Speaker 3: that to the person you're with, Like, Hey, I'm not

706
00:36:53,080 --> 00:36:56,200
Speaker 3: feeling like this anymore. I was at one point, right,

707
00:36:56,239 --> 00:36:58,160
Speaker 3: But this is where I'm feeling like now, Like I

708
00:36:58,200 --> 00:37:01,799
Speaker 3: don't see I don't see us having a kid together,

709
00:37:02,000 --> 00:37:04,960
Speaker 3: I don't see us actually being married. I don't see

710
00:37:05,080 --> 00:37:08,960
Speaker 3: us owning a home together, right. I think women do

711
00:37:09,000 --> 00:37:11,680
Speaker 3: a better job at communicating, like they're not interested in

712
00:37:11,719 --> 00:37:16,080
Speaker 3: that way. Yeah, men want the milk from all the

713
00:37:16,120 --> 00:37:18,960
Speaker 3: women like he would have you doing. It's like they

714
00:37:19,719 --> 00:37:23,080
Speaker 3: really be building bitches. They got you doing this, this

715
00:37:23,120 --> 00:37:25,160
Speaker 3: one doing that. And I think that's what I was

716
00:37:25,200 --> 00:37:28,520
Speaker 3: experiencing too, Like he was used to having multiple women

717
00:37:28,600 --> 00:37:31,600
Speaker 3: doing multiple things, and then when he locked in on me,

718
00:37:31,840 --> 00:37:34,840
Speaker 3: he expected all of that from one me.

719
00:37:35,600 --> 00:37:40,360
Speaker 1: Mm hm, you better go get you a tea? Who's

720
00:37:40,400 --> 00:37:40,799
Speaker 1: your tea?

721
00:37:41,320 --> 00:37:45,040
Speaker 4: Where's your fucking team?

722
00:37:45,160 --> 00:37:45,319
Speaker 1: Right?

723
00:37:45,400 --> 00:37:49,719
Speaker 3: So are you really building a relationship or are you

724
00:37:49,840 --> 00:37:53,480
Speaker 3: just auditioning for a role that hasn't actually been offered?

725
00:37:54,160 --> 00:37:56,960
Speaker 1: But both, it's both.

726
00:37:58,440 --> 00:38:01,959
Speaker 3: But does wife does wifey behavior get you the ring?

727
00:38:02,080 --> 00:38:04,640
Speaker 3: Or does it get you used booth?

728
00:38:06,239 --> 00:38:09,359
Speaker 1: Because think about it, it could go either way. It's

729
00:38:09,400 --> 00:38:13,080
Speaker 1: a fucking crapshoot. Like you can be in there bacon

730
00:38:13,360 --> 00:38:18,919
Speaker 1: cookies with your your apron on and got the house

731
00:38:18,920 --> 00:38:21,040
Speaker 1: smelling like lemon and do it all the things and

732
00:38:21,120 --> 00:38:24,719
Speaker 1: sucking deck and reading to the kids. His kids. Maybe

733
00:38:24,719 --> 00:38:27,560
Speaker 1: they ain't even got to be your kids. Girl and

734
00:38:27,560 --> 00:38:31,040
Speaker 1: a niggas still don't marry you, or you could be

735
00:38:31,080 --> 00:38:33,680
Speaker 1: in the house and all you do you just know

736
00:38:33,680 --> 00:38:40,360
Speaker 1: how to make a mean door dash. It can't and

737
00:38:40,440 --> 00:38:43,320
Speaker 1: a man marry you. It just there's no real rhyme

738
00:38:43,480 --> 00:38:45,319
Speaker 1: or reason to any of this shit as far as

739
00:38:45,360 --> 00:38:49,359
Speaker 1: I'm concerned, Like, there's just no And a man could

740
00:38:49,440 --> 00:38:51,200
Speaker 1: like you could be the best bitch and he never

741
00:38:51,280 --> 00:38:55,640
Speaker 1: marry you, never marry you. He could and then be

742
00:38:55,680 --> 00:38:58,320
Speaker 1: in the interview talking about I didn't get married because

743
00:38:58,360 --> 00:39:03,440
Speaker 1: I didn't want my mama to jous Marlon Waims.

744
00:39:05,800 --> 00:39:08,040
Speaker 3: My daddy used to use the excuse that he was

745
00:39:08,080 --> 00:39:10,120
Speaker 3: still married to my mama to not marry.

746
00:39:09,840 --> 00:39:11,480
Speaker 4: A bitch, like divorce her.

747
00:39:11,520 --> 00:39:14,400
Speaker 3: Y'all been separated since I was eight, Like, get the divorce.

748
00:39:15,480 --> 00:39:18,520
Speaker 3: My mama literally divorced him a month before he met

749
00:39:18,560 --> 00:39:21,640
Speaker 3: she married my stepdaddy, like she women always got to

750
00:39:21,680 --> 00:39:25,839
Speaker 3: do the paperwork, always women.

751
00:39:25,960 --> 00:39:27,760
Speaker 1: So women always do the paperwork.

752
00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:31,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, so let's I guess let's discuss then some behaviors

753
00:39:31,080 --> 00:39:36,279
Speaker 3: that people might label as wifey like behaviors. So we

754
00:39:36,400 --> 00:39:42,120
Speaker 3: mentioned cooking, like cooking full meals daily, living together. Is

755
00:39:42,360 --> 00:39:46,680
Speaker 3: I just feel like now right now, I feel like

756
00:39:46,920 --> 00:39:50,239
Speaker 3: until you get married y'all should sleep to each other

757
00:39:50,320 --> 00:39:52,720
Speaker 3: house and shit, but y'all shouldn't.

758
00:39:52,320 --> 00:39:53,720
Speaker 4: Cohabitate before getting married.

759
00:39:56,880 --> 00:39:57,239
Speaker 3: I don't.

760
00:39:57,360 --> 00:39:59,240
Speaker 4: I feel like I really feel like that. I feel

761
00:39:59,280 --> 00:40:01,040
Speaker 4: like it is tough.

762
00:40:01,360 --> 00:40:05,600
Speaker 3: It's tough, it's not fucking easy, and I don't know

763
00:40:05,640 --> 00:40:09,439
Speaker 3: that it gets easier once you actually get married, right

764
00:40:09,960 --> 00:40:12,960
Speaker 3: because or maybe hold on, see now, this is what

765
00:40:13,040 --> 00:40:15,320
Speaker 3: the Gemini might be kicking it, and maybe you should

766
00:40:15,880 --> 00:40:18,160
Speaker 3: because maybe you get into the thing living together, you

767
00:40:18,320 --> 00:40:20,000
Speaker 3: realize this ain't my dad's husband.

768
00:40:20,239 --> 00:40:22,560
Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying. Sometimes it might be better to

769
00:40:22,640 --> 00:40:25,760
Speaker 1: live with them to see if you can live with them.

770
00:40:26,520 --> 00:40:29,320
Speaker 4: Like, just go ahead and do the thing that's that

771
00:40:29,320 --> 00:40:30,160
Speaker 4: that might look.

772
00:40:30,320 --> 00:40:35,359
Speaker 1: Maybe in my ideal marriage, my husband and I would

773
00:40:35,360 --> 00:40:38,920
Speaker 1: have two separate homes with like a bridge between.

774
00:40:43,880 --> 00:40:48,399
Speaker 3: Not an in law sweet a husband's sweet him downstairs

775
00:40:48,440 --> 00:40:56,759
Speaker 3: for real, Like we're in their basement. Like you better

776
00:40:56,760 --> 00:40:58,560
Speaker 3: not come up from that basement, that's all I know.

777
00:40:58,880 --> 00:41:00,000
Speaker 4: You better used that back door.

778
00:41:01,960 --> 00:41:05,200
Speaker 3: So okay, so cooking full meals daily, I don't know

779
00:41:05,239 --> 00:41:07,440
Speaker 3: how you get around that if you're living with somebody,

780
00:41:07,560 --> 00:41:10,000
Speaker 3: like everybody gotta eat now. I do get tired to

781
00:41:10,040 --> 00:41:12,160
Speaker 3: have to worry about a nigga's stomach because it's some

782
00:41:12,239 --> 00:41:15,080
Speaker 3: days I don't eat. It's some days I just go

783
00:41:15,160 --> 00:41:17,879
Speaker 3: to sleep. It's some days I eat cereal, I eat

784
00:41:17,880 --> 00:41:20,440
Speaker 3: an apple or banana, Like some days I don't feel

785
00:41:20,440 --> 00:41:23,239
Speaker 3: like a full meal every day. Right, So you got

786
00:41:23,440 --> 00:41:25,640
Speaker 3: you gotta be with somebody who okay with that, not

787
00:41:25,800 --> 00:41:29,120
Speaker 3: cooking full meals every day. I don't have a kid yet, or.

788
00:41:29,000 --> 00:41:32,239
Speaker 1: Someone who can also cook. There's this couple on Instagram.

789
00:41:32,280 --> 00:41:34,120
Speaker 1: I can't think of there anything. It's a black girl

790
00:41:34,120 --> 00:41:36,040
Speaker 1: on her boyfriend's Asian. Oh.

791
00:41:36,120 --> 00:41:40,279
Speaker 4: Yes, he'd be throwing down, Yes, he'd be throwing it down.

792
00:41:40,520 --> 00:41:41,680
Speaker 1: You just sit down and eat.

793
00:41:41,760 --> 00:41:44,520
Speaker 3: I'm like, yeah, yes, that is the whole love language.

794
00:41:44,560 --> 00:41:45,960
Speaker 3: I like to cook, and I do like people to

795
00:41:46,000 --> 00:41:49,840
Speaker 3: cook for me and serve me too. Yeah, cleaning his

796
00:41:49,920 --> 00:41:52,879
Speaker 3: home or doing his laundry, right, so y'all not living

797
00:41:52,880 --> 00:41:55,719
Speaker 3: together and you're coming over, you're cleaning his house up,

798
00:41:56,080 --> 00:41:58,239
Speaker 3: and you're doing the laundry.

799
00:41:58,440 --> 00:42:00,520
Speaker 1: I don't find it. I don't mind doing that.

800
00:42:00,880 --> 00:42:03,040
Speaker 3: You can't have an expectation, though, I think that women

801
00:42:03,120 --> 00:42:06,240
Speaker 3: do it and with an expectation from the man, right commitment.

802
00:42:07,120 --> 00:42:10,040
Speaker 3: So maybe we aren't being honest about why we're even

803
00:42:10,080 --> 00:42:10,600
Speaker 3: doing the things.

804
00:42:10,680 --> 00:42:11,799
Speaker 4: Why do you feel a need to do that?

805
00:42:12,760 --> 00:42:16,120
Speaker 3: The times that I've cleaned a nigger house, but the

806
00:42:16,160 --> 00:42:18,320
Speaker 3: times that I've actually cleaned another man's house is because

807
00:42:18,360 --> 00:42:21,319
Speaker 3: I wanted to be comfortable when I come. Like, I'm

808
00:42:21,320 --> 00:42:24,000
Speaker 3: making sure your bathroom clean because I like bathrooms. That's

809
00:42:24,000 --> 00:42:26,879
Speaker 3: cleaning like a hotel bathroom. So yeah, I don't want

810
00:42:26,880 --> 00:42:28,960
Speaker 3: to see no shit, run a toilet, none of that bullshit.

811
00:42:29,480 --> 00:42:32,360
Speaker 3: So yeah, I'll clean a nigga house. Like I said before,

812
00:42:32,400 --> 00:42:36,400
Speaker 3: I've bought sheets. I've bought comforters because I like nice linnens.

813
00:42:36,400 --> 00:42:39,040
Speaker 3: I want to get fucked on this nice ass bed,

814
00:42:39,200 --> 00:42:41,239
Speaker 3: So yeah, I might buy you some new pillows and

815
00:42:41,239 --> 00:42:42,200
Speaker 3: shit like that.

816
00:42:42,200 --> 00:42:44,240
Speaker 4: That's not necessary because I'm trying to be your wife.

817
00:42:44,320 --> 00:42:47,480
Speaker 3: I want to be comfortable. How he gonna another bitch,

818
00:42:47,480 --> 00:42:49,480
Speaker 3: probably gonna get fucked on these stams. He probably gonna

819
00:42:49,480 --> 00:42:51,240
Speaker 3: get more bitches because I bought him sheets.

820
00:42:51,920 --> 00:42:55,680
Speaker 1: It's about you, it's not even about the other person. He.

821
00:42:56,000 --> 00:42:57,160
Speaker 4: The men enjoy that too.

822
00:42:57,200 --> 00:43:01,600
Speaker 3: They don't even know what nice things are oftentimes until you.

823
00:43:00,880 --> 00:43:04,800
Speaker 1: So hard sleeping with a rock on a rock in

824
00:43:04,880 --> 00:43:06,160
Speaker 1: a cardboard rock.

825
00:43:06,280 --> 00:43:08,959
Speaker 4: Like Why do you got this fucking fake ass polyestera satin?

826
00:43:09,040 --> 00:43:09,719
Speaker 4: She's on this bed.

827
00:43:09,760 --> 00:43:11,840
Speaker 3: I'm slipping and sliding every time I move, like the

828
00:43:11,840 --> 00:43:15,279
Speaker 3: she is coming off the mattress Like that feels uncomfortable.

829
00:43:15,480 --> 00:43:18,359
Speaker 3: Play a player for the Himalaya sheets. Get that bullshit off.

830
00:43:18,400 --> 00:43:20,600
Speaker 3: You might as well have alac man.

831
00:43:21,600 --> 00:43:23,279
Speaker 1: Why is she sticking to me?

832
00:43:24,600 --> 00:43:29,839
Speaker 3: It's not breathable. Why the fuck is this pillow so flat? Right?

833
00:43:30,200 --> 00:43:34,680
Speaker 1: Folding this bitch four times a napkin? First of all,

834
00:43:34,680 --> 00:43:37,520
Speaker 1: because I got indigestion. Nigga, I'm dying here. Give me

835
00:43:37,520 --> 00:43:38,240
Speaker 1: a bigger pillow.

836
00:43:41,600 --> 00:43:45,040
Speaker 3: Oh bitch? Giving money or emotional support during hard times?

837
00:43:46,600 --> 00:43:49,200
Speaker 3: You helping him with his credit, You're helping him pay

838
00:43:49,239 --> 00:43:54,360
Speaker 3: some ship off, You're doing job applications for him.

839
00:43:54,560 --> 00:43:56,440
Speaker 1: Well, what is a bitch supposed to do with a

840
00:43:56,520 --> 00:44:00,759
Speaker 1: relationship if we're not doing none of this stuff?

841
00:44:01,800 --> 00:44:04,720
Speaker 4: You know, you need to know that that's your man first,

842
00:44:05,360 --> 00:44:05,879
Speaker 4: that you.

843
00:44:06,239 --> 00:44:08,680
Speaker 1: How is the man gonna decide that he even want

844
00:44:08,680 --> 00:44:10,440
Speaker 1: to be in a relationship with you if you not

845
00:44:10,640 --> 00:44:14,440
Speaker 1: like pouring into him too in different ways? You gotta

846
00:44:14,480 --> 00:44:15,399
Speaker 1: do You gotta be.

847
00:44:15,480 --> 00:44:17,279
Speaker 3: A man is not coming to your house to clean

848
00:44:17,320 --> 00:44:20,600
Speaker 3: it now, what that man should be doing is cleaning

849
00:44:20,640 --> 00:44:23,560
Speaker 3: your car, Yeah, putting some gas and that shit. Yet

850
00:44:23,640 --> 00:44:27,040
Speaker 3: it has to be yes, it has to be reciprocal, right,

851
00:44:27,320 --> 00:44:30,960
Speaker 3: So wifey shit is okay if he's doing husband things.

852
00:44:31,160 --> 00:44:33,680
Speaker 3: But I think women get mad, right because they're doing

853
00:44:33,719 --> 00:44:35,799
Speaker 3: all these things to make this man know like I'm

854
00:44:35,840 --> 00:44:38,600
Speaker 3: the one, pick me, pick me, pick me, and then

855
00:44:38,600 --> 00:44:40,239
Speaker 3: they're disappointed at the end of the day and then

856
00:44:40,280 --> 00:44:43,160
Speaker 3: you're talking shit about this basic bitching that none of that.

857
00:44:43,440 --> 00:44:45,239
Speaker 3: All she brought was pussy to the table on the

858
00:44:45,320 --> 00:44:48,359
Speaker 3: iPhone and he he married her.

859
00:44:48,840 --> 00:44:49,279
Speaker 1: Mm hmm.

860
00:44:49,960 --> 00:44:53,400
Speaker 3: Okay, Because men really don't like easy. They do like

861
00:44:53,480 --> 00:44:57,319
Speaker 3: they are hunters, you know, they like to to have

862
00:44:57,360 --> 00:44:59,800
Speaker 3: to find some shit. So if you're just putting everything

863
00:44:59,800 --> 00:45:02,480
Speaker 3: on the table for him, how is he to like

864
00:45:02,640 --> 00:45:07,200
Speaker 3: actually appreciate those things. Some men will, right, but there's

865
00:45:07,239 --> 00:45:09,240
Speaker 3: a lot of men who are takers.

866
00:45:10,440 --> 00:45:11,560
Speaker 4: They'll just use your ass up.

867
00:45:11,600 --> 00:45:13,319
Speaker 3: They done did it to you and the last bitch,

868
00:45:13,320 --> 00:45:15,719
Speaker 3: and they might got two of y'all doing all the

869
00:45:15,760 --> 00:45:18,200
Speaker 3: things for their life. Right now, you just got to

870
00:45:18,320 --> 00:45:20,920
Speaker 3: know who you're doing those things for, and it has.

871
00:45:20,760 --> 00:45:22,799
Speaker 4: To be reciprocated.

872
00:45:23,920 --> 00:45:29,200
Speaker 3: Prioritizing his needs before your own. I think that's easy.

873
00:45:29,280 --> 00:45:33,080
Speaker 3: Women do that a lot, right, you calculating, you have

874
00:45:33,120 --> 00:45:38,360
Speaker 3: all this self awareness, and you're calculating everything he needs.

875
00:45:38,400 --> 00:45:41,120
Speaker 3: Not self awarenes, excuse me, all this emotional intelligence and

876
00:45:41,160 --> 00:45:45,600
Speaker 3: you're calculating everything he needs and not even expressing what

877
00:45:45,640 --> 00:45:46,399
Speaker 3: it is that you need.

878
00:45:46,719 --> 00:45:50,400
Speaker 1: I listen, I've been a victim of that behavior, like

879
00:45:51,239 --> 00:45:57,040
Speaker 1: just even down to like I just always give the

880
00:45:57,040 --> 00:46:02,720
Speaker 1: best to the other person, and I'll take left even

881
00:46:02,800 --> 00:46:05,880
Speaker 1: like not just men. Even with friends in my house,

882
00:46:06,000 --> 00:46:09,759
Speaker 1: like we order food, I'm going to give them the

883
00:46:09,760 --> 00:46:12,759
Speaker 1: prettier one. I'm gonna give them the one with the

884
00:46:12,760 --> 00:46:18,200
Speaker 1: most I'm gonna give them, you know, always always it's

885
00:46:18,200 --> 00:46:21,320
Speaker 1: just subconscious, like subconsciously, I'm going to give you the better.

886
00:46:23,600 --> 00:46:27,600
Speaker 1: I gotta stop doing that, though, because sometimes I deserve

887
00:46:27,680 --> 00:46:32,000
Speaker 1: the better one. My friends, she not like that. I

888
00:46:32,080 --> 00:46:33,759
Speaker 1: come over and eat at her house, She's gonna look

889
00:46:33,800 --> 00:46:38,880
Speaker 1: at it. You're gonna get the smallest one.

890
00:46:39,719 --> 00:46:42,160
Speaker 3: I do that too, not like I don't take the

891
00:46:42,160 --> 00:46:45,440
Speaker 3: smaller one, like I want whatever I give somebody, or

892
00:46:45,560 --> 00:46:46,399
Speaker 3: like I want it to be.

893
00:46:46,360 --> 00:46:49,840
Speaker 4: The better one for them. Yeah, me too, you know

894
00:46:49,880 --> 00:46:52,640
Speaker 4: what I'm saying, Like I don't know what is.

895
00:46:52,640 --> 00:46:55,360
Speaker 1: That need to be balanced though, because you shouldn't always

896
00:46:55,360 --> 00:46:56,799
Speaker 1: give the better one to someone else.

897
00:46:57,000 --> 00:46:58,960
Speaker 3: It depends on if I really really like it, Like,

898
00:46:59,000 --> 00:47:00,880
Speaker 3: if it's something I really like, I'm gonna give you

899
00:47:00,960 --> 00:47:03,680
Speaker 3: the smaller one, like don't motherfucking ask me about no

900
00:47:03,840 --> 00:47:05,880
Speaker 3: damn these academian cookies.

901
00:47:05,920 --> 00:47:08,240
Speaker 1: I like the bigger one, And then I'm gonna resent

902
00:47:08,280 --> 00:47:11,560
Speaker 1: you for heaving watching you have the bigger one, and

903
00:47:11,640 --> 00:47:12,440
Speaker 1: I'm mad about it.

904
00:47:12,480 --> 00:47:14,680
Speaker 4: But I give a child you are so childish?

905
00:47:14,800 --> 00:47:16,279
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I am.

906
00:47:19,080 --> 00:47:20,360
Speaker 4: You are childish.

907
00:47:21,800 --> 00:47:24,000
Speaker 1: That's something I gotta work on. I just think you

908
00:47:24,120 --> 00:47:27,440
Speaker 1: have to display some wifely characteristics. If you want a

909
00:47:27,480 --> 00:47:29,480
Speaker 1: man to see you as a wife. You can't just

910
00:47:29,640 --> 00:47:33,839
Speaker 1: turn it on later because it might not be nothing

911
00:47:33,840 --> 00:47:35,600
Speaker 1: to turn on later, because the nigga never saw you

912
00:47:35,640 --> 00:47:37,520
Speaker 1: as a wife because you never behaved as one.

913
00:47:37,680 --> 00:47:39,120
Speaker 3: But do the men even know what a wife is

914
00:47:39,160 --> 00:47:40,960
Speaker 3: supposed to be doing, because you know, some of these

915
00:47:40,960 --> 00:47:43,960
Speaker 3: guys want a mom right going to his house. This

916
00:47:44,000 --> 00:47:46,160
Speaker 3: is a grown man who lives on his own and

917
00:47:46,200 --> 00:47:47,799
Speaker 3: you're coming over there cleaning his room.

918
00:47:47,800 --> 00:47:50,720
Speaker 1: And what's the difference between a mom and a wife

919
00:47:50,719 --> 00:47:51,319
Speaker 1: Outside of.

920
00:47:51,239 --> 00:47:56,160
Speaker 3: Six mamas clean up after their sons all day long.

921
00:47:56,360 --> 00:47:58,200
Speaker 3: I don't think that I should be in a relationship

922
00:47:58,239 --> 00:48:01,600
Speaker 3: with another grown adult and they're not cleaning up behind themselves.

923
00:48:01,760 --> 00:48:03,720
Speaker 3: I don't think that's a part of being a wife,

924
00:48:03,800 --> 00:48:06,840
Speaker 3: or even a girlfriend, or even just with another adult.

925
00:48:06,880 --> 00:48:08,440
Speaker 1: You're talking about mother of a child.

926
00:48:09,680 --> 00:48:13,239
Speaker 3: These men a lot of times, some of them are

927
00:48:13,320 --> 00:48:17,520
Speaker 3: fucking kids. They do stuff like kids, they do, And

928
00:48:17,560 --> 00:48:20,400
Speaker 3: I don't think it's fair that that the onus is

929
00:48:20,440 --> 00:48:23,720
Speaker 3: just always on a woman to take care of these things.

930
00:48:23,920 --> 00:48:26,319
Speaker 3: You if I would wasn't here, or if you didn't

931
00:48:26,320 --> 00:48:28,680
Speaker 3: have somebody to come clean your house up, wouldn't you

932
00:48:28,719 --> 00:48:32,520
Speaker 3: be paying somebody cleaning up? And especially if we both working,

933
00:48:33,239 --> 00:48:34,880
Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying, we both have things we

934
00:48:35,560 --> 00:48:39,320
Speaker 3: are also responsible for outside of this relationship. Got it

935
00:48:39,360 --> 00:48:41,279
Speaker 3: gotta be like, we gotta help each other. We got

936
00:48:41,280 --> 00:48:42,160
Speaker 3: this give and take.

937
00:48:44,320 --> 00:48:48,200
Speaker 1: It should be balanced. Yeah, twenty five, nobody's doing all

938
00:48:48,239 --> 00:48:48,839
Speaker 1: the one role.

939
00:48:49,480 --> 00:48:51,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, so maybe some of these things have to be

940
00:48:51,680 --> 00:48:54,600
Speaker 3: then outsourced. Right, So you've been cleaning your own house,

941
00:48:54,719 --> 00:48:57,000
Speaker 3: I've been cleaning my own house. We finally get a

942
00:48:57,000 --> 00:49:00,400
Speaker 3: house together, and you think that just because I'm a woman,

943
00:49:01,239 --> 00:49:05,280
Speaker 3: I'm supposed to clean up everything and clean up after you.

944
00:49:05,280 --> 00:49:08,360
Speaker 4: No, yeah, clean up your space.

945
00:49:08,680 --> 00:49:11,920
Speaker 1: Sometimes niggas can't clean up that good because you, like

946
00:49:12,080 --> 00:49:13,880
Speaker 1: a man will be like, yeah, I cleaned it, and

947
00:49:13,880 --> 00:49:16,360
Speaker 1: then you go in there and be like, hell.

948
00:49:17,560 --> 00:49:20,520
Speaker 4: So are you talking to a man? Are you talking

949
00:49:20,560 --> 00:49:21,600
Speaker 4: to a child?

950
00:49:21,920 --> 00:49:24,200
Speaker 1: No, it's still a man. Just because he's not strong

951
00:49:24,239 --> 00:49:26,600
Speaker 1: a strong cleaner, that don't make him a man.

952
00:49:27,080 --> 00:49:29,839
Speaker 3: Yes, clean this until there's nothing there.

953
00:49:30,719 --> 00:49:35,400
Speaker 1: He might be strong in other areas, Like he's not

954
00:49:35,480 --> 00:49:36,680
Speaker 1: a strong cleaner.

955
00:49:36,320 --> 00:49:38,959
Speaker 4: But a strong cleaner, you can carry.

956
00:49:38,640 --> 00:49:40,600
Speaker 1: All this shit the house with one hand, you know,

957
00:49:40,719 --> 00:49:42,880
Speaker 1: Like he can cut the grass, and I don't have

958
00:49:42,920 --> 00:49:44,600
Speaker 1: to tell him. He can put gas in the car.

959
00:49:44,719 --> 00:49:47,560
Speaker 1: He do it every day. My gas they feel. But

960
00:49:48,080 --> 00:49:50,960
Speaker 1: when it comes to cleaning that tub, he'll try, but

961
00:49:51,040 --> 00:49:52,120
Speaker 1: he ain't gonna do that good.

962
00:49:53,400 --> 00:49:55,680
Speaker 3: And I'm gonna be fucking mad anyway, because I know

963
00:49:55,719 --> 00:49:56,400
Speaker 3: how to put gas.

964
00:49:56,400 --> 00:49:57,440
Speaker 4: I had to cut the grass.

965
00:49:57,600 --> 00:49:57,879
Speaker 1: I knew.

966
00:49:58,120 --> 00:50:00,000
Speaker 3: I do all the things. I'm clean.

967
00:50:00,000 --> 00:50:01,879
Speaker 4: I mean the fuck out of this thing.

968
00:50:02,040 --> 00:50:04,319
Speaker 1: But you don't have to. You know, you don't have

969
00:50:04,360 --> 00:50:05,840
Speaker 1: to there to do it.

970
00:50:06,080 --> 00:50:06,640
Speaker 3: I need you.

971
00:50:07,320 --> 00:50:08,919
Speaker 4: I need capable people in life.

972
00:50:08,960 --> 00:50:11,520
Speaker 1: You've got to recognize people's strong suit and play to that.

973
00:50:11,960 --> 00:50:12,200
Speaker 3: You know.

974
00:50:12,480 --> 00:50:17,920
Speaker 1: Yeah. Uh.

975
00:50:18,320 --> 00:50:20,520
Speaker 4: Being sexually available on demand.

976
00:50:21,800 --> 00:50:23,080
Speaker 1: On demand, it's crazy.

977
00:50:23,360 --> 00:50:26,600
Speaker 3: I feel like when you're living with somebody, like, it's

978
00:50:26,680 --> 00:50:28,399
Speaker 3: just different. When y'all live apart, y'all want to fuck

979
00:50:28,440 --> 00:50:30,719
Speaker 3: each other all the time. Now, when a dick is

980
00:50:30,760 --> 00:50:33,839
Speaker 3: available to pussy's available every day, do you really want

981
00:50:33,880 --> 00:50:36,760
Speaker 3: that ship every day? I am so tired of the shrimp.

982
00:50:38,000 --> 00:50:41,640
Speaker 3: Where is the beef? Where is the chicken pasta?

983
00:50:42,520 --> 00:50:46,280
Speaker 1: Listen? I can't think of one thing in the world

984
00:50:46,320 --> 00:50:53,520
Speaker 1: outside of money that I want every day, you know, yeah?

985
00:50:53,560 --> 00:50:55,959
Speaker 3: And I think also a mistake that women make having

986
00:50:56,000 --> 00:50:59,000
Speaker 3: pussy on demand. For men, you can't get him to

987
00:50:59,040 --> 00:51:00,719
Speaker 3: do anything you need him to do once. You don't

988
00:51:00,760 --> 00:51:03,880
Speaker 3: drain his balls all day, and you're giving him this

989
00:51:03,960 --> 00:51:08,239
Speaker 3: reward every day without actually producing anything. So even a

990
00:51:08,360 --> 00:51:11,000
Speaker 3: husband wives, No, you can't fuck them every day.

991
00:51:11,719 --> 00:51:12,280
Speaker 4: You can't.

992
00:51:12,440 --> 00:51:14,560
Speaker 3: They're not gonna do anything they supposed to do, anything

993
00:51:14,600 --> 00:51:17,280
Speaker 3: they said they're gonna do. You can't give them pussy

994
00:51:17,320 --> 00:51:18,160
Speaker 3: every day they have to.

995
00:51:18,480 --> 00:51:20,920
Speaker 4: That's like that's like a reward, right.

996
00:51:21,400 --> 00:51:25,040
Speaker 3: I know, pussy is supposedly so plentiful and everywhere, but

997
00:51:25,120 --> 00:51:28,399
Speaker 3: everybody don't got this pussy. If he married you, he

998
00:51:28,560 --> 00:51:32,800
Speaker 3: wants that pussy in particular. Okay, so you're just making

999
00:51:32,880 --> 00:51:35,600
Speaker 3: that pussy available all the time. He gonna get tired

1000
00:51:35,640 --> 00:51:38,200
Speaker 3: of it and he's gonna be trying to find another pussy.

1001
00:51:39,280 --> 00:51:42,360
Speaker 3: And then that don't mean he don't love that pussy.

1002
00:51:43,280 --> 00:51:47,080
Speaker 3: But it's like, shit, yeah, I got that one in

1003
00:51:47,120 --> 00:51:51,480
Speaker 3: the bags, in the bag. No, you gotta, yeah, you gotta.

1004
00:51:51,640 --> 00:51:54,600
Speaker 3: You gotta give it out spearingly. I'm not telling you

1005
00:51:54,640 --> 00:51:57,840
Speaker 3: not to have sex which with your significant other, you know,

1006
00:51:57,920 --> 00:52:01,960
Speaker 3: because if you don't, definitely somebody else gonna be fucking them.

1007
00:52:02,000 --> 00:52:08,000
Speaker 3: But I just you know the person sometimes, yes, I

1008
00:52:08,040 --> 00:52:11,439
Speaker 3: do you know women are in heat, like what twice

1009
00:52:11,480 --> 00:52:13,520
Speaker 3: a month. Maybe we might be in heat around the

1010
00:52:13,560 --> 00:52:17,520
Speaker 3: ovulation in the week after the period. Yeah, maybe that

1011
00:52:17,600 --> 00:52:19,759
Speaker 3: might be the best time to tap me on my

1012
00:52:19,800 --> 00:52:25,840
Speaker 3: shoulder to am. But other than that shoulder, yeah, like

1013
00:52:25,880 --> 00:52:30,080
Speaker 3: I'm ready when you're ready. Basically, it's going down whenever

1014
00:52:30,160 --> 00:52:34,640
Speaker 3: you want it. But yeah, I don't think you should

1015
00:52:34,640 --> 00:52:36,640
Speaker 3: be just having said especially if you're not if you're

1016
00:52:36,640 --> 00:52:39,360
Speaker 3: not married to this man. I know you want to

1017
00:52:39,400 --> 00:52:42,759
Speaker 3: have sex too, but you have to practice a little

1018
00:52:42,800 --> 00:52:44,520
Speaker 3: bit of a little bit of discipline. You don't want

1019
00:52:44,560 --> 00:52:47,840
Speaker 3: him to get tired of it or used to it.

1020
00:52:47,880 --> 00:52:52,120
Speaker 1: Is there any way to combat that? There's no way

1021
00:52:52,160 --> 00:52:54,120
Speaker 1: you can ration that pussy as much as you want.

1022
00:52:54,560 --> 00:52:59,920
Speaker 1: Eventually he's gonna get used to that pussy in life.

1023
00:53:00,120 --> 00:53:02,480
Speaker 1: Why you know you're gonna get used to this penis

1024
00:53:02,480 --> 00:53:06,200
Speaker 1: It's just no way to like avoid that, especially if

1025
00:53:06,200 --> 00:53:07,040
Speaker 1: you're living together.

1026
00:53:07,960 --> 00:53:10,640
Speaker 3: I guess you gotta, I don't know, find new new

1027
00:53:10,719 --> 00:53:15,120
Speaker 3: things other than sex that makes you happy.

1028
00:53:15,080 --> 00:53:18,480
Speaker 4: About this person, A new nigga on the side that

1029
00:53:18,719 --> 00:53:19,520
Speaker 4: sparts it up.

1030
00:53:19,760 --> 00:53:23,480
Speaker 3: You know, I know, I feel like that's that's that's

1031
00:53:23,480 --> 00:53:27,440
Speaker 3: a whole episode, Like how side bitches actually strengthen marriages.

1032
00:53:28,160 --> 00:53:31,160
Speaker 3: Our size bitch, our side bitch is necessary. Have we

1033
00:53:31,200 --> 00:53:31,880
Speaker 3: done that before?

1034
00:53:33,880 --> 00:53:37,839
Speaker 1: I don't know, know we did? Who? Who? Who?

1035
00:53:39,320 --> 00:53:42,879
Speaker 3: Yeah? Our side bitch is necessary because here's the thing.

1036
00:53:43,120 --> 00:53:45,400
Speaker 1: I think they're gonna be necessary for my relationship. I

1037
00:53:47,280 --> 00:53:52,600
Speaker 1: already know after like, I need you girl five to

1038
00:53:52,680 --> 00:53:57,480
Speaker 1: seven years. Please get this nigga.

1039
00:53:58,800 --> 00:54:03,319
Speaker 3: But you know, okay, remember I texted you that day.

1040
00:54:03,360 --> 00:54:05,280
Speaker 3: I was like, yo, I think this is how holes

1041
00:54:05,320 --> 00:54:09,319
Speaker 3: are created, right, That feeling when you first meet like

1042
00:54:09,400 --> 00:54:12,880
Speaker 3: the first time sex feeling, like the intimacy that builds

1043
00:54:12,960 --> 00:54:15,319
Speaker 3: up before you actually have sex, and hanging out, the

1044
00:54:15,360 --> 00:54:18,919
Speaker 3: holding hands and kissing, the rubbing up all at the lust, Right,

1045
00:54:19,640 --> 00:54:22,640
Speaker 3: how do you keep that going in a relationship you're

1046
00:54:22,719 --> 00:54:28,400
Speaker 3: already in. It's damnar impossible yet, so in order to

1047
00:54:28,520 --> 00:54:33,040
Speaker 3: have that lust full feeling, I mean, people confuse it

1048
00:54:33,080 --> 00:54:35,080
Speaker 3: with love, but it is lust. If y'all haven't gott

1049
00:54:35,080 --> 00:54:37,800
Speaker 3: no like it, this is real life sexual tension.

1050
00:54:38,360 --> 00:54:42,120
Speaker 4: How do you keep that going with the same person?

1051
00:54:42,239 --> 00:54:44,440
Speaker 3: Like? You have to have it with a new person

1052
00:54:44,480 --> 00:54:47,360
Speaker 3: every time, you know what I'm saying. It has to

1053
00:54:47,400 --> 00:54:52,000
Speaker 3: be somebody else every time, because you you've already experienced it.

1054
00:54:52,040 --> 00:54:55,160
Speaker 3: You already had that thing with this person. And it

1055
00:54:55,200 --> 00:54:56,920
Speaker 3: could be that you had it, you know, for a

1056
00:54:56,920 --> 00:54:59,239
Speaker 3: whole month, two months, it lasted three months, it might

1057
00:54:59,239 --> 00:55:03,360
Speaker 3: have lasted a year. But it's gonna die off initially,

1058
00:55:03,400 --> 00:55:07,319
Speaker 3: I mean, eventually it's gonna die off. That the butterflies.

1059
00:55:07,800 --> 00:55:09,600
Speaker 1: And that's why I think it's important to pick a

1060
00:55:09,640 --> 00:55:15,160
Speaker 1: person that you love outside of sex, because that she

1061
00:55:15,280 --> 00:55:18,520
Speaker 1: gonna get mundane eventually. I don't give a fuck what

1062
00:55:18,560 --> 00:55:19,400
Speaker 1: y'all say is gonna.

1063
00:55:19,239 --> 00:55:21,520
Speaker 3: Get but not even the sex, the intimacy, you know

1064
00:55:21,600 --> 00:55:24,279
Speaker 3: what I'm saying, Like, I like to have sex, but

1065
00:55:24,320 --> 00:55:26,440
Speaker 3: I also just like to be rubbed up and booty

1066
00:55:26,440 --> 00:55:28,439
Speaker 3: touched and stuff like that. And then once I'm tired

1067
00:55:28,480 --> 00:55:30,359
Speaker 3: of you, I might not even like you rubbing my butt.

1068
00:55:30,400 --> 00:55:32,480
Speaker 3: I don't want you even touching me for real. So

1069
00:55:32,520 --> 00:55:35,400
Speaker 3: how do you keep that going with the same person forever?

1070
00:55:36,960 --> 00:55:38,800
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't even know if he's supposed

1071
00:55:38,800 --> 00:55:40,000
Speaker 1: to at this point.

1072
00:55:42,000 --> 00:55:43,719
Speaker 3: That's why I say that's how holes are created, because

1073
00:55:43,760 --> 00:55:47,359
Speaker 3: we're always trying to duplicate that feeling, and I think

1074
00:55:47,400 --> 00:55:52,279
Speaker 3: you only get that feeling from somebody new or.

1075
00:55:52,320 --> 00:55:52,960
Speaker 1: In the beginning.

1076
00:55:53,280 --> 00:55:58,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, Okay, I don't know.

1077
00:56:01,000 --> 00:56:02,800
Speaker 1: Could you be in an open situation.

1078
00:56:04,760 --> 00:56:07,359
Speaker 3: Yes, But I don't think that that that black men,

1079
00:56:08,239 --> 00:56:10,040
Speaker 3: majority of black men can't deal with that.

1080
00:56:10,400 --> 00:56:13,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think I know too, I ain't. The only

1081
00:56:13,120 --> 00:56:15,600
Speaker 1: reason I think that is because I've been single so

1082
00:56:16,000 --> 00:56:21,719
Speaker 1: long now that it's gonna be hard to like. So

1083
00:56:21,840 --> 00:56:23,480
Speaker 1: I just got to deal with him. That's say. It

1084
00:56:26,719 --> 00:56:31,040
Speaker 1: just him, that's crazy, not not even like sexually. I

1085
00:56:31,080 --> 00:56:31,719
Speaker 1: just enjoy this.

1086
00:56:31,880 --> 00:56:37,160
Speaker 3: Just emotional, yeah, just talking learning, Like how do you

1087
00:56:37,320 --> 00:56:40,600
Speaker 3: learn more new things if you're only experiencing the same

1088
00:56:40,640 --> 00:56:43,799
Speaker 3: person all the time, right, And I'm not just talking

1089
00:56:43,800 --> 00:56:47,040
Speaker 3: about sex, like just knowing things that other people know,

1090
00:56:47,200 --> 00:56:48,879
Speaker 3: like learning from other people.

1091
00:56:48,920 --> 00:56:53,799
Speaker 1: Like I like new jokes, because telling new jokes, your

1092
00:56:53,880 --> 00:57:01,760
Speaker 1: jokes are the same. So I'm open to that, honestly.

1093
00:57:02,160 --> 00:57:05,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, I am too. At this age, I am. I

1094
00:57:05,280 --> 00:57:11,400
Speaker 3: just want to be honest with whoever I'm with. I

1095
00:57:11,440 --> 00:57:13,440
Speaker 3: want to be honest about exactly who I am and

1096
00:57:13,560 --> 00:57:20,480
Speaker 3: exactly what my desires are without being judged. No, absolutely not.

1097
00:57:20,920 --> 00:57:22,560
Speaker 3: I'm not even saying I want to have sex with

1098
00:57:22,640 --> 00:57:24,920
Speaker 3: a new person every fucking month and no ship like that.

1099
00:57:25,360 --> 00:57:27,320
Speaker 3: I just don't want it to be the option to

1100
00:57:27,320 --> 00:57:30,600
Speaker 3: be closed off because men don't close those options off.

1101
00:57:30,640 --> 00:57:33,000
Speaker 3: They just don't tell you the truth, you know. I

1102
00:57:33,000 --> 00:57:35,560
Speaker 3: think a lot of times women we be closing shit

1103
00:57:35,640 --> 00:57:39,160
Speaker 3: off because we have a little bit more discipline. I

1104
00:57:39,160 --> 00:57:41,920
Speaker 3: ain't gonna say all these bitches now, motherfuckers be out here, rabbit,

1105
00:57:43,840 --> 00:57:45,560
Speaker 3: but yeah, I think we got a little bit more

1106
00:57:45,560 --> 00:57:50,400
Speaker 3: disciplined than men in that department. But why do we

1107
00:57:50,440 --> 00:57:54,920
Speaker 3: have to so some of those things, like doing those

1108
00:57:55,080 --> 00:57:59,040
Speaker 3: those wifely things that we named. You know, it helped

1109
00:57:59,360 --> 00:58:03,520
Speaker 3: may help like build intimacy right between you and your partner,

1110
00:58:03,720 --> 00:58:07,960
Speaker 3: whoever it is that you're choosing to be with. You

1111
00:58:08,320 --> 00:58:12,960
Speaker 3: know each other's like living habits and their emotional needs

1112
00:58:13,040 --> 00:58:16,000
Speaker 3: and things like that. So maybe doing some of those

1113
00:58:16,000 --> 00:58:19,080
Speaker 3: things are just a part of being in a relationship

1114
00:58:19,120 --> 00:58:21,440
Speaker 3: with somebody. I don't think none of it should be

1115
00:58:21,480 --> 00:58:25,640
Speaker 3: done excessively though. Right all the time to where he's

1116
00:58:25,640 --> 00:58:28,160
Speaker 3: expecting you to now come clean his house, he's not

1117
00:58:28,240 --> 00:58:32,680
Speaker 3: cleaning up behind himself because he know you will. That's

1118
00:58:32,680 --> 00:58:37,960
Speaker 3: when it becomes like you're abusing this love and then

1119
00:58:38,000 --> 00:58:43,040
Speaker 3: the women start developing. Yeah, yeah, I know.

1120
00:58:44,000 --> 00:58:46,680
Speaker 1: My ex nigga used to I had him so spoiled.

1121
00:58:46,760 --> 00:58:51,400
Speaker 1: He'd be like drinking beer on Sunday watching football. And

1122
00:58:51,520 --> 00:58:53,800
Speaker 1: this shit sticks with me because it pissed off.

1123
00:58:54,080 --> 00:58:56,720
Speaker 3: You say it too, I know exactly what you're about

1124
00:58:56,760 --> 00:58:57,160
Speaker 3: to say.

1125
00:58:57,560 --> 00:59:01,440
Speaker 1: Him holding that motherfucking beer bottle up, it's just shaking

1126
00:59:01,520 --> 00:59:04,480
Speaker 1: it in the air. Does he at least say bay

1127
00:59:05,320 --> 00:59:08,280
Speaker 1: bay and then shake the bottle in the air.

1128
00:59:09,600 --> 00:59:13,840
Speaker 3: Bringing him another beer? And what did he ever do

1129
00:59:13,920 --> 00:59:15,000
Speaker 3: to deserve that treatment?

1130
00:59:17,360 --> 00:59:17,720
Speaker 1: He was a.

1131
00:59:19,520 --> 00:59:23,000
Speaker 4: Good nigga or man, God damn.

1132
00:59:24,120 --> 00:59:28,440
Speaker 1: Same thing. He wasn't. He wasn't perfect by any stretch

1133
00:59:28,440 --> 00:59:31,560
Speaker 1: of the imagination. Neither was I. But he took care

1134
00:59:31,600 --> 00:59:33,360
Speaker 1: of me. I mean I didn't have to. I ain't

1135
00:59:33,480 --> 00:59:38,479
Speaker 1: have to want for nothing for real, Like, but don't

1136
00:59:38,720 --> 00:59:41,720
Speaker 1: don't I still feel like, open your mouth because I'm up.

1137
00:59:41,920 --> 00:59:44,240
Speaker 1: I'm gonna serve you. I don't mind serving you, but

1138
00:59:44,320 --> 00:59:47,840
Speaker 1: don't don't treat me like a servant.

1139
00:59:48,040 --> 00:59:56,120
Speaker 3: Right, yeah, yeah, And I think that sometimes, like because

1140
00:59:56,320 --> 01:00:00,200
Speaker 3: because we're in a patriarchal society, sometimes men, you know,

1141
01:00:00,240 --> 01:00:03,640
Speaker 3: want to reduce women to these things, and now we're

1142
01:00:03,760 --> 01:00:06,400
Speaker 3: so much We've always been so much more right, but

1143
01:00:06,440 --> 01:00:10,680
Speaker 3: we get to express it way more nowadays, you know,

1144
01:00:10,760 --> 01:00:12,840
Speaker 3: within the last I don't know, fifty years or so,

1145
01:00:12,920 --> 01:00:18,560
Speaker 3: I guess, I don't know. I think just just setting

1146
01:00:18,640 --> 01:00:22,080
Speaker 3: standards for like mutual effort. You should not be doing

1147
01:00:22,720 --> 01:00:26,200
Speaker 3: more than he's willing to do for you, right that way,

1148
01:00:26,200 --> 01:00:26,760
Speaker 3: you won't.

1149
01:00:26,520 --> 01:00:31,480
Speaker 1: Have shake it in the air, like put money in it, babe,

1150
01:00:32,280 --> 01:00:35,880
Speaker 1: just take my person in the air, I have to ask,

1151
01:00:36,680 --> 01:00:36,920
Speaker 1: you know.

1152
01:00:37,840 --> 01:00:42,680
Speaker 3: So, So here are some of the cons right when

1153
01:00:42,720 --> 01:00:45,600
Speaker 3: you're doing wifey things without being a wife or not

1154
01:00:45,640 --> 01:00:49,040
Speaker 3: being in a committed relationship, sometimes there is a lack

1155
01:00:49,080 --> 01:00:51,840
Speaker 3: of clarity. You're doing all the work without any title,

1156
01:00:52,000 --> 01:00:59,240
Speaker 3: legal security, or mutual commitment, so you're basically playing wifey

1157
01:00:59,440 --> 01:01:04,080
Speaker 3: without any real progression in the relationship. So people you

1158
01:01:04,080 --> 01:01:06,720
Speaker 3: know often say, well, what's the benefit of being married, Like, yeah, yes,

1159
01:01:06,800 --> 01:01:10,040
Speaker 3: you are signing paperwork right under the law, because you

1160
01:01:10,120 --> 01:01:12,000
Speaker 3: really can be married to somebody under the eyes of

1161
01:01:12,040 --> 01:01:14,640
Speaker 3: God today or tomorrow. Technically, in the Bible, if we've

1162
01:01:14,640 --> 01:01:17,720
Speaker 3: had sex without a condom, you my man, I'm your wife,

1163
01:01:18,040 --> 01:01:19,200
Speaker 3: like it is what it is.

1164
01:01:19,520 --> 01:01:21,000
Speaker 4: So how many how many husbands you got?

1165
01:01:21,000 --> 01:01:26,960
Speaker 1: Bitch zero, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.

1166
01:01:28,680 --> 01:01:32,960
Speaker 3: A bite, I've been married a few times in life

1167
01:01:34,160 --> 01:01:37,160
Speaker 3: based on the Bible. Okay, yeah, because you are you

1168
01:01:37,440 --> 01:01:39,920
Speaker 3: when you have, especially with somebody without a condom and

1169
01:01:39,920 --> 01:01:41,080
Speaker 3: stuff like that, man, you're.

1170
01:01:40,960 --> 01:01:45,440
Speaker 4: Sharing their DNA, Like when you're.

1171
01:01:45,280 --> 01:01:47,560
Speaker 3: Trying to figure out, like why you just got all

1172
01:01:47,600 --> 01:01:50,720
Speaker 3: this mental instability, it's probably because you go led to

1173
01:01:50,760 --> 01:01:53,680
Speaker 3: me people in that pussy without a condom on it, right,

1174
01:01:53,720 --> 01:01:57,600
Speaker 3: So you just sharing all all his energy them STDs

1175
01:01:57,640 --> 01:02:04,080
Speaker 3: them sexually transmitted to demons like yeah, and now you're

1176
01:02:04,120 --> 01:02:08,480
Speaker 3: just feeling confused. So y'all could be super sexually liberated

1177
01:02:08,520 --> 01:02:10,000
Speaker 3: if you want to, but it comes with a lot

1178
01:02:10,040 --> 01:02:11,120
Speaker 3: of consequences.

1179
01:02:11,320 --> 01:02:11,680
Speaker 4: Okay.

1180
01:02:13,880 --> 01:02:20,280
Speaker 3: Another con can be emotional exhaustion. Given more than your

1181
01:02:20,280 --> 01:02:23,760
Speaker 3: receiving can lead to resentment and burnout. We said that, right,

1182
01:02:23,800 --> 01:02:26,040
Speaker 3: So you do did all the shit in the girlfriend's stage.

1183
01:02:26,360 --> 01:02:28,200
Speaker 3: By the time you get to be a wife, you're like, man,

1184
01:02:28,360 --> 01:02:31,320
Speaker 3: I'm sick of this nigga, I am so sick of him.

1185
01:02:31,920 --> 01:02:33,720
Speaker 1: Or then you be like, and then he'd be like,

1186
01:02:33,840 --> 01:02:35,680
Speaker 1: you changed soon as we got married, you.

1187
01:02:35,720 --> 01:02:40,840
Speaker 3: Changed, right, and usually it we do change, right. The

1188
01:02:40,880 --> 01:02:44,360
Speaker 3: man actually been the same the whole time. He'd been

1189
01:02:44,440 --> 01:02:48,440
Speaker 3: not doing nothing. Now you mad because you're tired of

1190
01:02:48,520 --> 01:02:49,520
Speaker 3: having to do everything.

1191
01:02:50,000 --> 01:02:50,360
Speaker 1: Mm hm.

1192
01:02:51,920 --> 01:02:53,720
Speaker 3: So if you if you're not doing it because you

1193
01:02:53,760 --> 01:02:56,800
Speaker 3: actually enjoy it and you actually love this person and

1194
01:02:56,840 --> 01:02:59,320
Speaker 3: like this is this is your love language, like showing

1195
01:02:59,400 --> 01:03:02,160
Speaker 3: up in this way for someone, don't do it.

1196
01:03:02,560 --> 01:03:06,200
Speaker 4: You will experience burnout. You will be resentful.

1197
01:03:07,160 --> 01:03:09,840
Speaker 3: In the in the in the relationship or in the marriage.

1198
01:03:10,240 --> 01:03:16,080
Speaker 3: You're gonna you're gonna be getting mad. It says an

1199
01:03:16,160 --> 01:03:19,600
Speaker 3: unsustainable precedent. It says, it says, uh, he may expect

1200
01:03:19,600 --> 01:03:23,360
Speaker 3: that level of care without giving anything back may delay

1201
01:03:23,440 --> 01:03:27,680
Speaker 3: or eliminate his his urgency to commit. So you know

1202
01:03:27,760 --> 01:03:30,200
Speaker 3: that trope like why by the cow when the milk

1203
01:03:30,280 --> 01:03:36,320
Speaker 3: is free? Yeah, okay, so that's that's a thing. I

1204
01:03:36,320 --> 01:03:39,280
Speaker 3: feel like women need to. There are a lot of

1205
01:03:39,320 --> 01:03:41,160
Speaker 3: I don't want to even call them selfish women because

1206
01:03:41,160 --> 01:03:44,160
Speaker 3: maybe that's the cheak code. I always say.

1207
01:03:44,080 --> 01:03:47,439
Speaker 4: Men like mean women because they mamas be fucking mean.

1208
01:03:48,600 --> 01:03:50,920
Speaker 3: So women, what women? Men? A lot of men are

1209
01:03:50,920 --> 01:03:53,840
Speaker 3: literally sons of bitches. So you coming in here being

1210
01:03:53,960 --> 01:03:56,240
Speaker 3: nice and sweet. He can't even believe a bitch could

1211
01:03:56,240 --> 01:03:59,680
Speaker 3: be like this and really mean it. He can't even

1212
01:03:59,720 --> 01:04:02,600
Speaker 3: be even like, oh my god, Like he doesn't even

1213
01:04:02,640 --> 01:04:04,000
Speaker 3: believe you're this sweet.

1214
01:04:04,160 --> 01:04:04,800
Speaker 4: Imagine that.

1215
01:04:05,280 --> 01:04:07,440
Speaker 3: So he ends up with somebody who's treating him like

1216
01:04:07,520 --> 01:04:09,800
Speaker 3: shit because that's really what he's used to, because he's

1217
01:04:09,840 --> 01:04:10,440
Speaker 3: not healed.

1218
01:04:12,040 --> 01:04:15,160
Speaker 1: Not most men. You feel like that's most men.

1219
01:04:16,320 --> 01:04:19,400
Speaker 3: Man, you haven't been with something well, I won't say

1220
01:04:19,400 --> 01:04:22,280
Speaker 3: most men, but the relationships I've been in, it's like,

1221
01:04:22,520 --> 01:04:24,560
Speaker 3: I never want to be with anybody that I can

1222
01:04:24,600 --> 01:04:29,640
Speaker 3: easily disrespect. But as to that point of being disrespectful,

1223
01:04:30,040 --> 01:04:32,200
Speaker 3: it seems like their ears and eyes open up like

1224
01:04:32,240 --> 01:04:34,800
Speaker 3: they all of a sudden are like, oh, they understand me,

1225
01:04:34,840 --> 01:04:35,360
Speaker 3: they get me.

1226
01:04:35,920 --> 01:04:39,479
Speaker 4: So when I was talking regularly, got fuck in there.

1227
01:04:40,840 --> 01:04:44,080
Speaker 1: So let's impact that. Why do you think that you

1228
01:04:44,320 --> 01:04:48,800
Speaker 1: are attracting this same characteristic.

1229
01:04:48,680 --> 01:04:51,520
Speaker 3: Because I'm very nurturing, Like I said, they sons of bitches,

1230
01:04:51,600 --> 01:04:53,560
Speaker 3: right I am?

1231
01:04:53,600 --> 01:04:54,000
Speaker 4: I am?

1232
01:04:54,040 --> 01:04:58,520
Speaker 3: I am very nurturing in a relationship until I'm not right,

1233
01:04:59,000 --> 01:05:01,560
Speaker 3: So I think that's what the initial attraction is.

1234
01:05:03,680 --> 01:05:05,800
Speaker 4: So I attrack these people who.

1235
01:05:06,360 --> 01:05:09,360
Speaker 3: Are kind of not needy, but maybe they have like

1236
01:05:09,400 --> 01:05:12,200
Speaker 3: fucked up relationships with their moms.

1237
01:05:12,840 --> 01:05:14,560
Speaker 4: And here I am being a mama.

1238
01:05:14,480 --> 01:05:18,280
Speaker 1: So mommy niggas, my nigga call.

1239
01:05:18,200 --> 01:05:24,040
Speaker 3: Me mama the fuck and I'd be like, I'm not

1240
01:05:24,200 --> 01:05:26,200
Speaker 3: your mom.

1241
01:05:26,520 --> 01:05:28,560
Speaker 1: So what do you think we could do moving forward

1242
01:05:28,680 --> 01:05:30,920
Speaker 1: to not invite that same energy?

1243
01:05:31,040 --> 01:05:34,720
Speaker 3: You gotta be like you, You gotta be kind of selfish, right,

1244
01:05:35,240 --> 01:05:36,320
Speaker 3: You can't expose all.

1245
01:05:36,440 --> 01:05:37,320
Speaker 4: You can't even listen.

1246
01:05:37,320 --> 01:05:39,560
Speaker 3: If you know how to give a super duper cock

1247
01:05:39,680 --> 01:05:43,800
Speaker 3: cock four thousand, you're only giving him one thousand until

1248
01:05:43,800 --> 01:05:46,960
Speaker 3: you get the ring, and you don't show him the

1249
01:05:47,080 --> 01:05:49,760
Speaker 3: four thousand until the night of the wedding. Like, we

1250
01:05:49,800 --> 01:05:53,360
Speaker 3: gotta hold some things back. We can't give all of

1251
01:05:53,400 --> 01:05:57,160
Speaker 3: ourselves when we get in relationships with men, we can't

1252
01:05:57,280 --> 01:06:01,560
Speaker 3: let them know how spectacul we really are. You can

1253
01:06:01,600 --> 01:06:04,080
Speaker 3: give them like you can let them know, but like spearingly,

1254
01:06:04,240 --> 01:06:05,920
Speaker 3: every once in a while, I'm gonna show this nigga

1255
01:06:05,920 --> 01:06:09,960
Speaker 3: how amazing I am. There's too many rules, as not

1256
01:06:10,120 --> 01:06:12,160
Speaker 3: too many rules, because you don't want to end up

1257
01:06:12,160 --> 01:06:12,840
Speaker 3: doing these things.

1258
01:06:13,680 --> 01:06:15,200
Speaker 4: I guess the discernment.

1259
01:06:14,720 --> 01:06:18,320
Speaker 3: Part comes in, right, no, know your personnel, know who

1260
01:06:18,400 --> 01:06:22,320
Speaker 3: it is that you're doing these things for. Okay, if

1261
01:06:22,560 --> 01:06:25,439
Speaker 3: there's no confusion, he's treating like a queen all those things.

1262
01:06:25,480 --> 01:06:29,280
Speaker 3: I'm gonna do all those things regardless. All of that

1263
01:06:29,360 --> 01:06:32,280
Speaker 3: is happen is happening regardless. But then you know, matter

1264
01:06:32,320 --> 01:06:34,720
Speaker 3: of fact, I'll do listen to reverse of this. I

1265
01:06:34,760 --> 01:06:37,640
Speaker 3: was dating a guy and I sent him this post

1266
01:06:37,680 --> 01:06:41,480
Speaker 3: on Instagram because he did all the boyfriend things but

1267
01:06:41,560 --> 01:06:45,400
Speaker 3: didn't want the commitment. And he was like, that's just

1268
01:06:45,400 --> 01:06:47,560
Speaker 3: how I am. Like I don't know how to be

1269
01:06:47,880 --> 01:06:50,520
Speaker 3: no other way. But when it comes to like, okay,

1270
01:06:50,520 --> 01:06:51,919
Speaker 3: what were we doing? Like I want to be married,

1271
01:06:51,960 --> 01:06:55,000
Speaker 3: I want to have a baby, Like, what's up in mind?

1272
01:06:55,040 --> 01:06:55,080
Speaker 1: You?

1273
01:06:55,120 --> 01:06:58,480
Speaker 3: He already had two kids, right, So I would be like,

1274
01:06:58,800 --> 01:07:00,840
Speaker 3: you're gonna end up with a woman who already at

1275
01:07:00,840 --> 01:07:04,040
Speaker 3: our age, whoever you do decide to marry, if you

1276
01:07:04,320 --> 01:07:06,560
Speaker 3: actually ever want to be married, that person will already

1277
01:07:06,560 --> 01:07:08,920
Speaker 3: have kids. Why not marry me and let's just have

1278
01:07:09,000 --> 01:07:11,520
Speaker 3: a kid together, and like, let this be the kid

1279
01:07:11,560 --> 01:07:14,080
Speaker 3: you actually like, are with the mom because you got

1280
01:07:14,120 --> 01:07:18,640
Speaker 3: two baby mamas. So he didn't want, No, he didn't, don't.

1281
01:07:18,800 --> 01:07:23,440
Speaker 3: I really don't believe he wants the responsibility of additional children, right,

1282
01:07:23,520 --> 01:07:26,000
Speaker 3: But if you get in a relationship with somebody who

1283
01:07:26,000 --> 01:07:29,800
Speaker 3: has kids, you're responsible for that woman and those kids anyway, right,

1284
01:07:29,840 --> 01:07:32,160
Speaker 3: So pick either pick a household of one of these

1285
01:07:32,200 --> 01:07:34,160
Speaker 3: women that you've had a child with, Pick one of

1286
01:07:34,160 --> 01:07:38,960
Speaker 3: those households, or actually build a strong, real foundation with

1287
01:07:39,000 --> 01:07:41,560
Speaker 3: somebody else. And maybe it's my fault for even fucking

1288
01:07:41,600 --> 01:07:43,760
Speaker 3: with a man who has kids, but dog, it's real

1289
01:07:43,800 --> 01:07:46,040
Speaker 3: hard to find anybody right now who does not have

1290
01:07:46,080 --> 01:07:48,640
Speaker 3: any kids. Like, as much as men like to look

1291
01:07:48,680 --> 01:07:50,840
Speaker 3: at women's sideways for not having kids and being a

1292
01:07:50,880 --> 01:07:53,640
Speaker 3: certain age, when you get with these men who don't

1293
01:07:53,680 --> 01:07:56,200
Speaker 3: have kids and who haven't been like in a committed

1294
01:07:56,200 --> 01:07:58,160
Speaker 3: relationship in a long time, you kind of see why

1295
01:07:58,840 --> 01:08:01,920
Speaker 3: Nigga might be socially awkward and weird stuff be going on.

1296
01:08:02,520 --> 01:08:05,640
Speaker 3: Why he hasn't been picked either. Men just have a

1297
01:08:05,640 --> 01:08:07,480
Speaker 3: lot of options why we don't get picked.

1298
01:08:07,920 --> 01:08:10,680
Speaker 1: I remember I was talking to this basketball player, right

1299
01:08:12,280 --> 01:08:15,720
Speaker 1: lit basketball player, and we were at my house and

1300
01:08:15,720 --> 01:08:17,479
Speaker 1: he was sitting on a bar stool and I came

1301
01:08:17,560 --> 01:08:20,280
Speaker 1: up to him and I was like hogging him and

1302
01:08:20,360 --> 01:08:23,280
Speaker 1: he looks up. He just was awkward. All right, he

1303
01:08:23,439 --> 01:08:27,760
Speaker 1: is like come to banner. It was awkward. And then

1304
01:08:27,880 --> 01:08:29,200
Speaker 1: so I was like, all right, I'm gonna walk away

1305
01:08:29,200 --> 01:08:32,240
Speaker 1: and go sit down. And when I turned to walk away,

1306
01:08:32,320 --> 01:08:39,360
Speaker 1: he literally tackled me onto the automan. It was so bizarre.

1307
01:08:39,640 --> 01:08:45,360
Speaker 1: I was like, get off. Some people would just be

1308
01:08:45,479 --> 01:08:49,360
Speaker 1: weird and awkward and just having social cues and social

1309
01:08:49,400 --> 01:08:53,400
Speaker 1: skills and bruh, you can go to doc by two thousand.

1310
01:08:54,960 --> 01:08:57,639
Speaker 1: Why would you do that? I was just in your face, like.

1311
01:08:57,600 --> 01:08:59,439
Speaker 3: Why are you horse playing with a woman?

1312
01:09:00,560 --> 01:09:02,960
Speaker 1: I'm talking my heart down And he's a big, tall ass,

1313
01:09:03,000 --> 01:09:08,120
Speaker 1: grown as man, and he literally tackled me. What the

1314
01:09:08,320 --> 01:09:08,960
Speaker 1: get out? Now?

1315
01:09:12,479 --> 01:09:18,080
Speaker 3: You see if there be real weirdos, I do want

1316
01:09:18,120 --> 01:09:19,000
Speaker 3: to study that though.

1317
01:09:19,000 --> 01:09:20,760
Speaker 4: I want to you said, is not a thing.

1318
01:09:20,920 --> 01:09:23,040
Speaker 3: But there has to be a study out there as

1319
01:09:23,040 --> 01:09:26,559
Speaker 3: to why women choose men who already got children. It

1320
01:09:26,640 --> 01:09:30,000
Speaker 3: has to be something that we subconsciously think that this

1321
01:09:30,040 --> 01:09:32,519
Speaker 3: person like. We don't, it's not on the forefront of

1322
01:09:32,560 --> 01:09:36,080
Speaker 3: our minds, right, But he's attractive for some reason, and

1323
01:09:36,120 --> 01:09:40,800
Speaker 3: it's maybe because he can produce. There is clear indication

1324
01:09:40,920 --> 01:09:45,040
Speaker 3: that he's a producer. It's more on an animalistic level,

1325
01:09:45,080 --> 01:09:47,960
Speaker 3: not really human, right, because human like I won't even

1326
01:09:48,000 --> 01:09:51,360
Speaker 3: say that, because a lot of these niggas are in

1327
01:09:51,479 --> 01:09:57,799
Speaker 3: cells right involuntarily celibate. And if we were in the wild,

1328
01:09:58,400 --> 01:10:01,240
Speaker 3: women would always stole choose the man who can produce

1329
01:10:01,360 --> 01:10:03,080
Speaker 3: like and who could take care of her in her offspring.

1330
01:10:03,640 --> 01:10:06,600
Speaker 4: Is that is what our job is, to pick the best.

1331
01:10:06,360 --> 01:10:08,600
Speaker 3: Suitor, right, So it'd be a lot of men that

1332
01:10:08,640 --> 01:10:12,439
Speaker 3: would die never having had ever had sex if we

1333
01:10:12,439 --> 01:10:15,080
Speaker 3: were actually in the wild and picking mates like we're

1334
01:10:15,080 --> 01:10:15,559
Speaker 3: supposed to.

1335
01:10:17,040 --> 01:10:17,320
Speaker 4: Dying.

1336
01:10:17,439 --> 01:10:21,360
Speaker 3: Can't got kids all over the place. And guess what

1337
01:10:21,479 --> 01:10:24,800
Speaker 3: the women hunt and gather. People be thinking that the

1338
01:10:24,840 --> 01:10:27,719
Speaker 3: man be hunting together. No, it's the women, the lion,

1339
01:10:27,760 --> 01:10:30,639
Speaker 3: the female lion that does it. He just be rested

1340
01:10:30,680 --> 01:10:33,559
Speaker 3: and whatever, it's time to fight, he coming to fight.

1341
01:10:34,560 --> 01:10:38,439
Speaker 3: He's the protector. Everything else the women does, the woman does.

1342
01:10:39,160 --> 01:10:41,479
Speaker 3: And that's really how it is in our society. We

1343
01:10:41,600 --> 01:10:43,439
Speaker 3: just hate it. We just don't like it.

1344
01:10:44,680 --> 01:10:48,760
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's the same shit, Yeah, exact same shit.

1345
01:10:49,600 --> 01:10:52,840
Speaker 3: So we keep asiding these roles to masculinity that just

1346
01:10:52,960 --> 01:10:54,240
Speaker 3: may not be their role.

1347
01:10:55,120 --> 01:10:58,640
Speaker 1: You know why Cleaning the bathroom.

1348
01:10:58,240 --> 01:11:02,800
Speaker 3: Kide, Okay, give me the money because I don't want

1349
01:11:02,800 --> 01:11:03,280
Speaker 3: to do it either.

1350
01:11:03,280 --> 01:11:05,840
Speaker 4: I don't want to clean somebody else's dirt. I hate it.

1351
01:11:06,360 --> 01:11:08,800
Speaker 4: I will clean little people dirt, but big people dirt

1352
01:11:08,880 --> 01:11:09,360
Speaker 4: is different.

1353
01:11:10,439 --> 01:11:15,800
Speaker 1: Your partner, Yes, I don't like it. You literally will

1354
01:11:15,880 --> 01:11:17,400
Speaker 1: take this person in your mouth.

1355
01:11:19,680 --> 01:11:23,680
Speaker 3: I barely like that you're talking about. You know me,

1356
01:11:23,960 --> 01:11:26,160
Speaker 3: You do know me the right, you know. I barely

1357
01:11:26,280 --> 01:11:27,799
Speaker 3: like that.

1358
01:11:29,280 --> 01:11:34,640
Speaker 1: But you'll do it, you know, so clean that bathroom?

1359
01:11:34,920 --> 01:11:39,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think. Let's just the takeaways from this. Right,

1360
01:11:39,479 --> 01:11:42,240
Speaker 3: It is okay to do those things if that's who

1361
01:11:42,280 --> 01:11:44,280
Speaker 3: you truly are. Now, if you're doing it with an

1362
01:11:44,920 --> 01:11:49,240
Speaker 3: arterial art, oh my god, I cannot talkterial motive. Right,

1363
01:11:49,360 --> 01:11:53,120
Speaker 3: You're wanting something else, may be commitment hand in marriage,

1364
01:11:53,360 --> 01:11:56,240
Speaker 3: like if you're doing it for anything, any reason other

1365
01:11:56,320 --> 01:12:00,000
Speaker 3: than this is what you like to do your your you.

1366
01:12:00,080 --> 01:12:02,080
Speaker 3: This is one of your love languages. Right, This is

1367
01:12:02,080 --> 01:12:04,639
Speaker 3: how you show up for people. It just comes natural

1368
01:12:04,720 --> 01:12:07,559
Speaker 3: to you. But if you're doing it for any other reason,

1369
01:12:09,160 --> 01:12:14,120
Speaker 3: you actually weren't being deceitful. Right. And then women, you

1370
01:12:14,920 --> 01:12:17,080
Speaker 3: say it's a burnout by the time you get the marriage.

1371
01:12:17,360 --> 01:12:19,960
Speaker 3: But did you only do those things to get married?

1372
01:12:20,040 --> 01:12:22,120
Speaker 3: And now you're like, that's not really me haha.

1373
01:12:23,960 --> 01:12:26,320
Speaker 1: I think some people feel it like it's an obligation,

1374
01:12:27,240 --> 01:12:30,560
Speaker 1: like this is a part of this is my contribution.

1375
01:12:30,960 --> 01:12:33,800
Speaker 1: Do I like doing it? No, but this is how

1376
01:12:33,800 --> 01:12:36,559
Speaker 1: I contribute to this thing that I'm in. Right.

1377
01:12:37,520 --> 01:12:40,559
Speaker 3: Yeah, I remember the same guy who bathroom I would

1378
01:12:40,600 --> 01:12:43,320
Speaker 3: clean and stuff because I wanted to be comfortable. I

1379
01:12:43,360 --> 01:12:45,840
Speaker 3: remember visiting him again like when we you know, wasn't

1380
01:12:45,880 --> 01:12:47,519
Speaker 3: fucking around, and I'm.

1381
01:12:47,360 --> 01:12:50,840
Speaker 4: Like, who are you fucking with? Because why is she old?

1382
01:12:50,920 --> 01:12:53,680
Speaker 3: Like I know, there's what kind of women are you

1383
01:12:53,760 --> 01:12:56,040
Speaker 3: fucking with that allowed us bathroom look like? Because the

1384
01:12:56,040 --> 01:12:58,720
Speaker 3: shit was looking like it had never been cleaned since

1385
01:12:58,720 --> 01:13:01,640
Speaker 3: the last time I cleaned it. So what type of

1386
01:13:01,640 --> 01:13:03,760
Speaker 3: woman are you dealing with that allows this?

1387
01:13:04,360 --> 01:13:06,360
Speaker 1: Right? That's gonna lay up in here and use this

1388
01:13:06,479 --> 01:13:07,440
Speaker 1: nasty bathroom.

1389
01:13:07,680 --> 01:13:14,160
Speaker 3: Yes, like what is happening? So yeah, I And then

1390
01:13:14,600 --> 01:13:16,600
Speaker 3: it's about upbringing a lot of people that saw the

1391
01:13:16,840 --> 01:13:19,120
Speaker 3: bathroom was as a kid. You know what I'm saying,

1392
01:13:19,280 --> 01:13:22,000
Speaker 3: They were probably raised by people who didn't. Don't think

1393
01:13:22,040 --> 01:13:25,080
Speaker 3: that's Germany. I'm a germophobe. Like I just be like,

1394
01:13:25,360 --> 01:13:29,920
Speaker 3: my pussy is open, it's like an open wound. Stuff's

1395
01:13:29,920 --> 01:13:30,599
Speaker 3: gonna get in there.

1396
01:13:30,760 --> 01:13:33,479
Speaker 1: You got a wide set vagina, dr shut.

1397
01:13:33,320 --> 01:13:36,080
Speaker 3: Up your pussy open too, like it's a it's flesh,

1398
01:13:36,439 --> 01:13:38,080
Speaker 3: it's not closed like a penis.

1399
01:13:38,360 --> 01:13:39,840
Speaker 4: So you want to eat this koochie off of this

1400
01:13:39,920 --> 01:13:40,639
Speaker 4: dirty toilet?

1401
01:13:41,600 --> 01:13:47,360
Speaker 3: Okay? So I don't know, but be clear about your

1402
01:13:47,360 --> 01:13:51,840
Speaker 3: relationship goals and how much you're willing to invest upfront. Right,

1403
01:13:51,880 --> 01:13:53,920
Speaker 3: So that's the first thing you gotta do to set

1404
01:13:53,960 --> 01:13:58,320
Speaker 3: the boundaries essentially, and ask a lot of questions, are

1405
01:13:58,320 --> 01:14:03,400
Speaker 3: we building towards towards me marriage.

1406
01:14:01,840 --> 01:14:03,920
Speaker 4: Or we're just vibing what we doing?

1407
01:14:05,240 --> 01:14:08,240
Speaker 3: And usually if the man if yeah, absolutely, but usually

1408
01:14:08,240 --> 01:14:12,080
Speaker 3: if the man is at this age shah girl, first date,

1409
01:14:12,400 --> 01:14:14,439
Speaker 3: ask all the questions and if he's not for you,

1410
01:14:14,600 --> 01:14:17,080
Speaker 3: if you just too much for him. Then you'll get

1411
01:14:17,160 --> 01:14:19,320
Speaker 3: rid of him early before you even use your gucci up.

1412
01:14:20,360 --> 01:14:23,160
Speaker 4: Okay, he ain't for you.

1413
01:14:22,479 --> 01:14:25,479
Speaker 1: But I'd be feeling like some of the questions, like

1414
01:14:25,600 --> 01:14:29,280
Speaker 1: you gotta just gradually ask him, because sometimes if you

1415
01:14:29,320 --> 01:14:31,599
Speaker 1: ask too many questions on the first day, it becomes

1416
01:14:31,640 --> 01:14:32,480
Speaker 1: like an interview.

1417
01:14:33,520 --> 01:14:37,160
Speaker 3: And but y'all both supposed to be asking questions. It's

1418
01:14:37,160 --> 01:14:39,880
Speaker 3: nothing he need to know about you.

1419
01:14:39,880 --> 01:14:41,920
Speaker 1: No motherfucker get these jokes.

1420
01:14:43,439 --> 01:14:45,880
Speaker 3: See, Look, you know what I'm saying there. You have

1421
01:14:45,960 --> 01:14:48,120
Speaker 3: a lot of nuance. There's a lot of things about

1422
01:14:48,160 --> 01:14:50,400
Speaker 3: you that somebody may or may not like.

1423
01:14:50,720 --> 01:14:56,080
Speaker 4: So we should we both parties should.

1424
01:14:55,800 --> 01:14:59,120
Speaker 3: Be exchanging information. You should be getting to know each

1425
01:14:59,120 --> 01:15:00,519
Speaker 3: other in those first couple dates.

1426
01:15:01,320 --> 01:15:01,479
Speaker 1: Right.

1427
01:15:01,640 --> 01:15:03,839
Speaker 3: But when you go straight to fucking and not dating,

1428
01:15:04,280 --> 01:15:07,040
Speaker 3: you know, you gotta know that's the relationship dynamic at

1429
01:15:07,040 --> 01:15:13,800
Speaker 3: that point, right, Okay, And it says signs that it

1430
01:15:13,880 --> 01:15:17,519
Speaker 3: might be toxic one sided work plans, love.

1431
01:15:20,560 --> 01:15:22,960
Speaker 1: Dating your peers, and they think I'm supposed to be

1432
01:15:22,960 --> 01:15:25,360
Speaker 1: fucking as fast as y'all, and I don't appreciate it

1433
01:15:25,400 --> 01:15:26,080
Speaker 1: because I'm.

1434
01:15:25,880 --> 01:15:30,240
Speaker 3: Not no more. Because there was a time in life

1435
01:15:31,240 --> 01:15:33,840
Speaker 3: it wasn't for it was for me, Like I really

1436
01:15:33,960 --> 01:15:36,000
Speaker 3: wasn't even thinking about the man in that point, Like

1437
01:15:36,040 --> 01:15:39,360
Speaker 3: that was me being selfish. I wanted to fuck. That's

1438
01:15:39,360 --> 01:15:41,479
Speaker 3: why I like hauling that man, because you get exactly

1439
01:15:41,520 --> 01:15:43,720
Speaker 3: who you want and what you want. I don't be

1440
01:15:43,760 --> 01:15:45,639
Speaker 3: waiting for nobody to try to talk to me. If

1441
01:15:45,680 --> 01:15:48,200
Speaker 3: I like you, I'm trying to hauler at your ass first.

1442
01:15:48,040 --> 01:15:49,920
Speaker 4: Me too, so you get what you want.

1443
01:15:50,600 --> 01:15:52,680
Speaker 3: The fuck you're sitting there waiting for a man to

1444
01:15:52,680 --> 01:15:54,760
Speaker 3: haller at you if you want to, You're gonna keep

1445
01:15:54,800 --> 01:16:00,000
Speaker 3: getting toads because they like you, get you a man

1446
01:16:00,040 --> 01:16:00,680
Speaker 3: and you like.

1447
01:16:04,120 --> 01:16:05,320
Speaker 4: Anyway. Yeah, I don't know.

1448
01:16:05,400 --> 01:16:08,080
Speaker 3: To each his own right, I am guilty of doing

1449
01:16:08,120 --> 01:16:12,360
Speaker 3: wifely things, but it would probably be in a dynamic

1450
01:16:12,360 --> 01:16:15,519
Speaker 3: where I'm living with a man, right, I'm not going

1451
01:16:15,560 --> 01:16:18,799
Speaker 3: to somebody else's house on a regular basis and cleaning

1452
01:16:18,800 --> 01:16:21,200
Speaker 3: the shit up the times that I have had to

1453
01:16:21,240 --> 01:16:23,280
Speaker 3: do that because usually I date pretty clean men like

1454
01:16:23,320 --> 01:16:24,120
Speaker 3: I'm that's I am.

1455
01:16:24,240 --> 01:16:25,680
Speaker 4: Actually I had to.

1456
01:16:25,600 --> 01:16:31,400
Speaker 3: Go revise my whole, you know, my manifestation for a

1457
01:16:31,439 --> 01:16:37,120
Speaker 3: man thing, right, because I need somebody who takes as

1458
01:16:37,160 --> 01:16:41,840
Speaker 3: many showers as I do. I need someone like who

1459
01:16:41,920 --> 01:16:46,320
Speaker 3: puts shit up when they're done with it, you know, like, yeah,

1460
01:16:46,439 --> 01:16:47,720
Speaker 3: I recognize that.

1461
01:16:48,600 --> 01:16:50,160
Speaker 1: You sure you don't want you a bitch?

1462
01:16:51,040 --> 01:16:54,360
Speaker 3: No, because I've dated men. My daddy's like that, and

1463
01:16:54,400 --> 01:16:57,120
Speaker 3: I have dated some men. They probably had a little

1464
01:16:57,120 --> 01:16:59,840
Speaker 3: other little shit I was sick of. But I definitely

1465
01:16:59,840 --> 01:17:02,599
Speaker 3: have dating men who keep their house in pristine order.

1466
01:17:03,080 --> 01:17:03,680
Speaker 4: And I was.

1467
01:17:03,760 --> 01:17:06,640
Speaker 3: It was a joy in being over there rubbing my

1468
01:17:06,680 --> 01:17:12,599
Speaker 3: motherfucking feet together underneath them clean sheets. Yes, I have right,

1469
01:17:12,720 --> 01:17:15,040
Speaker 3: but you ain't gonna always get what you want. But

1470
01:17:15,160 --> 01:17:17,880
Speaker 3: cleanliness is like real high on the top of my list,

1471
01:17:19,240 --> 01:17:20,080
Speaker 3: real real high.

1472
01:17:20,560 --> 01:17:23,000
Speaker 1: Yeah that's fair. I don't want no nasty nigga, but

1473
01:17:23,040 --> 01:17:24,920
Speaker 1: if it's my nigga, I'll make sure the house is clean.

1474
01:17:25,280 --> 01:17:29,040
Speaker 1: Don't be the nigga who like your shirt on the

1475
01:17:29,040 --> 01:17:31,880
Speaker 1: floor next to the laundry basket that pisses me off.

1476
01:17:32,000 --> 01:17:34,519
Speaker 1: Just put it in there. It's right there. But it

1477
01:17:34,520 --> 01:17:39,839
Speaker 1: ain't got to be perfect. You ain't got to be perfect. Longest,

1478
01:17:39,880 --> 01:17:44,880
Speaker 1: are my flaws balance your flaws? Like what I'm lacking,

1479
01:17:45,120 --> 01:17:48,680
Speaker 1: you providing what you're lacking. I'm providing. I'm okay with it.

1480
01:17:49,240 --> 01:17:52,880
Speaker 4: Yeah, nigga told me i'd be having weave at the floorboard.

1481
01:17:53,200 --> 01:17:53,960
Speaker 4: You know what I do.

1482
01:17:54,400 --> 01:17:56,880
Speaker 3: I make sure there's no weave at the floorboard, so

1483
01:17:56,920 --> 01:17:59,439
Speaker 3: that couldn't be a complaint anymore. And he was only

1484
01:17:59,520 --> 01:18:01,479
Speaker 3: using that as an example because I was complaining about

1485
01:18:01,520 --> 01:18:02,360
Speaker 3: some shit he was doing.

1486
01:18:02,439 --> 01:18:04,559
Speaker 4: Right, He was like, I don't be complaining about your weed.

1487
01:18:04,600 --> 01:18:05,200
Speaker 3: Got it up.

1488
01:18:05,360 --> 01:18:08,240
Speaker 4: Guess what. Let me make sure that's never a complain

1489
01:18:08,280 --> 01:18:10,000
Speaker 4: because you only gotta tell me one time.

1490
01:18:10,479 --> 01:18:10,800
Speaker 1: Mm hm.

1491
01:18:11,720 --> 01:18:13,880
Speaker 3: As an adult, you only have to tell me something

1492
01:18:13,880 --> 01:18:17,760
Speaker 3: bothers you one time. I'm gonna try my hardest to

1493
01:18:17,880 --> 01:18:20,200
Speaker 3: never have to let you critique me in that way again.

1494
01:18:21,720 --> 01:18:24,600
Speaker 3: I'm gonna fix it, but I feel like if I

1495
01:18:24,600 --> 01:18:26,879
Speaker 3: gotta keeping something, I'm gonna.

1496
01:18:26,720 --> 01:18:27,280
Speaker 4: Pop you.

1497
01:18:28,680 --> 01:18:29,240
Speaker 1: Like a child.

1498
01:18:29,439 --> 01:18:32,719
Speaker 3: I'm gonna pop you like a baby. You're not fucking listening.

1499
01:18:33,520 --> 01:18:37,280
Speaker 4: And I only expect to repeat myself to fucking kids anyway.

1500
01:18:37,880 --> 01:18:39,360
Speaker 4: Y'all keep doing y'all wifely shit.

1501
01:18:39,640 --> 01:18:41,280
Speaker 3: I mean, if that's what you think you gotta do

1502
01:18:41,320 --> 01:18:43,479
Speaker 3: to get the ring, I'm here to tell you that

1503
01:18:43,600 --> 01:18:47,200
Speaker 3: ship don't fucking work. You gonna be mad, okay, be

1504
01:18:47,240 --> 01:18:47,639
Speaker 3: a bitch.

1505
01:18:48,200 --> 01:18:56,439
Speaker 1: No do the wifely thing mean? You know how they

1506
01:18:56,439 --> 01:18:58,400
Speaker 1: say don't dress for the job. You have, dress for

1507
01:18:58,439 --> 01:19:01,800
Speaker 1: the job you want. That's what you gotta do. Man.

1508
01:19:01,880 --> 01:19:04,840
Speaker 4: I think you should just be the person you want, right,

1509
01:19:05,520 --> 01:19:06,960
Speaker 4: so focus on that first.

1510
01:19:07,040 --> 01:19:08,040
Speaker 1: That's what I mean you want.

1511
01:19:08,200 --> 01:19:12,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, anyway, y'all go ahead to y'all things. Whatever the

1512
01:19:12,880 --> 01:19:15,640
Speaker 3: fuck y'all feel like doing your relationships. That's your business.

1513
01:19:16,000 --> 01:19:18,559
Speaker 3: But don't be mad if you don't get the outcome

1514
01:19:18,720 --> 01:19:23,599
Speaker 3: you're looking for. So so y'all enjoyed this episode. Y'all

1515
01:19:23,600 --> 01:19:26,000
Speaker 3: tune in every Thursday in the Black Effect. I heeart

1516
01:19:26,120 --> 01:19:28,599
Speaker 3: Radio app wherever the fuck you get your podcast at?

1517
01:19:28,640 --> 01:19:31,080
Speaker 4: Tell me over here producing wrap it out.

1518
01:19:30,960 --> 01:19:32,280
Speaker 1: Bitch, wrap it up.

1519
01:19:32,320 --> 01:19:36,439
Speaker 3: Bitch. You said that three times. Y'all don it every

1520
01:19:36,439 --> 01:19:38,280
Speaker 3: Thursday and the Black Effect. I heard Radio Apple, Where

1521
01:19:38,280 --> 01:19:39,760
Speaker 3: the fuck you get your podcast at? This your co

1522
01:19:39,840 --> 01:19:42,280
Speaker 3: host Aja Holiday two point on Instagram.

1523
01:19:42,400 --> 01:19:45,559
Speaker 1: Skick of Tam y'all's official Tam Bama on Instagram. Y'all

1524
01:19:45,560 --> 01:19:48,800
Speaker 1: follow me now. We are still looking for interns. If

1525
01:19:48,840 --> 01:19:51,200
Speaker 1: you're interested, We need some more. We need a gang

1526
01:19:51,200 --> 01:19:54,680
Speaker 1: of y'all, So y'all send us your your resumes to

1527
01:19:55,280 --> 01:19:58,000
Speaker 1: we talk back E and T at gmail dot com.

1528
01:19:58,040 --> 01:20:00,320
Speaker 1: We are looking for you, and we welcome you. Hmm.

1529
01:20:00,800 --> 01:20:03,600
Speaker 1: If you got what it takes, remember speak.

1530
01:20:03,400 --> 01:20:08,360
Speaker 3: Now and hold the motherfucking wifely duties until you actually

1531
01:20:08,360 --> 01:20:10,800
Speaker 3: know it's your husband in front of you, Until you

1532
01:20:10,960 --> 01:20:12,560
Speaker 3: know that's your husband.

1533
01:20:13,600 --> 01:20:16,640
Speaker 4: Hold hold on a little bit, Just hold on a

1534
01:20:16,680 --> 01:20:17,040
Speaker 4: little bit.

1535
01:20:17,120 --> 01:20:18,120
Speaker 1: Do some of that ship.

1536
01:20:18,520 --> 01:20:19,120
Speaker 3: Bye y'all.