WEBVTT - Slideeee into the DMs 0:00:00.880 --> 0:00:04.360 This is How Men Think with broths Like and Gavin 0:00:04.400 --> 0:00:08.560 to Grab and I Hear radio podcast. Welcome to another 0:00:08.560 --> 0:00:10.680 episode of How Men Think. My name is brooks Like 0:00:11.080 --> 0:00:14.640 and today we are going to have a lot of fun. 0:00:15.080 --> 0:00:17.599 Today is a really fun episode. And sometimes our episodes 0:00:17.640 --> 0:00:22.319 are are really thought provoking, really emotional, really deep. In 0:00:22.320 --> 0:00:26.040 other days they're more playful, lighthearted and fun. Um and 0:00:26.079 --> 0:00:28.000 that's going to be one of the episodes today. So 0:00:28.040 --> 0:00:30.639 today we have two very special guests coming on with 0:00:30.720 --> 0:00:36.320 us today, and we're talking about everybody's favorite topic, sliding 0:00:36.600 --> 0:00:41.600 into the d MS. So we have someone starting with 0:00:41.640 --> 0:00:44.159 one of our first guests here whose reputation for the 0:00:44.240 --> 0:00:48.000 d m s precedes him. Um. But he is a 0:00:48.159 --> 0:00:52.280 former uber competitive swimmer, actually tried out for the Olympics. 0:00:52.720 --> 0:00:57.000 He's a American model and you probably best known him 0:00:57.000 --> 0:00:59.960 as a reality TV star from Joejoe's season on the 0:01:00.040 --> 0:01:04.480 Bachelorette and from Bachelor in Paradise. Mr Robbie Hayes, he's 0:01:04.600 --> 0:01:07.240 with us today, Robbie, what's up, buddy? Hey guys, I'm good. 0:01:07.240 --> 0:01:10.920 Thanks for having me. Um My man. When we put 0:01:11.000 --> 0:01:14.200 together this show, I started asking our producers and I'm like, 0:01:14.240 --> 0:01:16.639 I want to do a show on d MS about 0:01:16.680 --> 0:01:18.840 sliding into d MS, just to have some fun and 0:01:18.880 --> 0:01:21.280 also because dating during COVID it seems to be the 0:01:21.280 --> 0:01:24.800 most prominent way for people to still connect. Um. And 0:01:24.840 --> 0:01:28.440 one of the first names that popped up was Robbie Hayes. 0:01:30.200 --> 0:01:33.800 I love it. I love it, thank you. That is 0:01:33.880 --> 0:01:37.440 producer I I I'm gonna out our producer Danielle brought 0:01:37.480 --> 0:01:41.760 your name up. Um. And so, so you are the 0:01:42.000 --> 0:01:44.840 master of the d M s. Is it that you 0:01:44.920 --> 0:01:47.039 are the master of the d M s or is 0:01:47.080 --> 0:01:51.600 it that you just received so many d M s Um? 0:01:51.640 --> 0:01:53.520 I mean I used to receive a lot back during 0:01:53.520 --> 0:01:57.480 the shows, hundreds of days, but you know it's slowed 0:01:57.520 --> 0:02:00.000 down for sure. UM, I don't. I wouldn't consider my 0:02:00.000 --> 0:02:03.280 stuff a master by any means, but it's definitely utilized. 0:02:03.360 --> 0:02:06.200 It's a one of the greatest tools we have now, 0:02:06.280 --> 0:02:08.920 especially like you said, during COVID. So when did you 0:02:08.960 --> 0:02:12.040 first start using When did you first start using social media? 0:02:12.120 --> 0:02:14.880 When did you first start using d M s UM. 0:02:14.919 --> 0:02:17.799 I was a little late to the social media game 0:02:17.840 --> 0:02:20.720 in general. UM. I remember in high school when it 0:02:20.840 --> 0:02:23.640 kind of when Instagram kind of came out. Um, I 0:02:23.720 --> 0:02:26.000 was a little late to the party. Actually a girlfriend 0:02:26.080 --> 0:02:29.840 got me into it, Um, so we could I blame 0:02:29.840 --> 0:02:31.360 her for all the d ns and thousands of dms 0:02:31.360 --> 0:02:34.760 I've sent every ten years, but um, yeah, it's a 0:02:34.800 --> 0:02:37.040 little late to the game. And then you know, before 0:02:37.880 --> 0:02:42.320 before my first show, The bachelorreat, Um, I wasn't doing bad. 0:02:42.360 --> 0:02:44.640 It's not like five or six thousand followers. And for 0:02:44.840 --> 0:02:47.760 you know, a nobody that's right right when it starts 0:02:47.800 --> 0:02:51.760 that it comes out. I didn't think that was too bad. Um. However, 0:02:52.560 --> 0:02:55.240 they take your phone on the bacheloreat so you have 0:02:55.320 --> 0:02:58.520 no contact, no internet, no TV kind of that. And 0:02:58.600 --> 0:03:01.080 literally the day I turned it on on after the show, 0:03:01.120 --> 0:03:04.799 it ended so much stuff came through, so many d 0:03:04.960 --> 0:03:07.720 M so many new followers, so many text messages, so 0:03:07.800 --> 0:03:12.280 many emails. My phone crashed on my seventeen hour flight 0:03:12.320 --> 0:03:15.560 home from Thailand, two and a half months of not 0:03:15.639 --> 0:03:18.720 having it and then getting my heart broken the day before, 0:03:19.120 --> 0:03:21.359 so all I wanted to do was look at all 0:03:21.360 --> 0:03:24.560 the nice messages my mom sent, my friends and family sent, 0:03:24.760 --> 0:03:28.799 and then it crashed. So Um. Anyways, I got home 0:03:28.840 --> 0:03:32.040 and I turned it on and had like four hundred 0:03:32.120 --> 0:03:36.040 and twenty thousand followers over essentially overnight from me right 0:03:36.040 --> 0:03:37.760 because I hadn't seen my phone since it was at 0:03:37.800 --> 0:03:42.840 five thousand, So it was life changing. Wow, What was 0:03:42.880 --> 0:03:45.000 I feeling like going from five thousand to four twenty 0:03:45.080 --> 0:03:47.080 was it? Like? What did you feel at that moment? 0:03:47.240 --> 0:03:50.800 It's just astronomical. I felt I felt nice about it. 0:03:50.800 --> 0:03:52.760 I mean, I felt like I had an influence on people. 0:03:52.760 --> 0:03:55.680 I felt like people appreciated, you know, what was going 0:03:55.760 --> 0:03:58.800 through what I was going through um on the show. 0:03:59.120 --> 0:04:01.960 And it was actually a conversation that Joejoe and I 0:04:02.040 --> 0:04:06.480 had on my season, UM during Hometowns we were out 0:04:06.480 --> 0:04:08.200 in the boat. She's like, you know, your life's gonna 0:04:08.280 --> 0:04:11.680 change after this. You're gonna be you know, picked and 0:04:11.720 --> 0:04:14.280 pulled in every different direction, and you know, if we 0:04:14.400 --> 0:04:16.520 end up together, you're gonna have to, you know, stay 0:04:16.560 --> 0:04:19.520 focused on what we've got here because it can be 0:04:19.600 --> 0:04:23.600 a deterrent and it can be uh, you know, distraction, 0:04:23.880 --> 0:04:28.320 distraction UM. And I kind of took her word for it, 0:04:28.360 --> 0:04:30.719 took her advice. She had been through the prior season 0:04:30.720 --> 0:04:33.640 with Ben Higgins and experienced at all exactly what was 0:04:33.680 --> 0:04:36.599 going on, so UM that kind of opened my eyes 0:04:36.640 --> 0:04:39.000 to like, yeah, this is actually gonna change a little bit, 0:04:39.000 --> 0:04:41.919 because in that moment while we're filming, I had no idea. 0:04:42.040 --> 0:04:44.120 I can't see my Instagram. I don't know what's going on. 0:04:45.120 --> 0:04:48.960 But um, it is a huge distraction. It is very 0:04:49.040 --> 0:04:51.400 even to this day, you can get stuck down the 0:04:51.400 --> 0:04:55.120 hole and just let's talk about that. So, so can 0:04:55.160 --> 0:04:58.000 you unpack that for me and for our listeners. So 0:04:58.080 --> 0:04:59.599 just to give you a little bit of my history, 0:04:59.760 --> 0:05:03.480 I ever had social media until I was dating. Um, 0:05:03.520 --> 0:05:07.360 I got social media at the end of I think 0:05:07.839 --> 0:05:12.000 or start somewhere in the late bloomer. Also, yeah, so 0:05:12.480 --> 0:05:15.279 I was dating. So I never had history of being 0:05:15.320 --> 0:05:17.800 single and sliding into d m s And how can 0:05:17.839 --> 0:05:21.800 I use social media in the dating world? So let 0:05:21.800 --> 0:05:25.080 me unless I want to have you unpack how this 0:05:25.200 --> 0:05:30.400 became sort of a tool for connection and opportunity for 0:05:30.480 --> 0:05:34.000 you in the dating world. Well, in my mind, uh, 0:05:34.120 --> 0:05:37.320 you know, even going down to posting a photo and 0:05:37.360 --> 0:05:41.880 getting a thousand comments, like the first few weeks, I 0:05:41.960 --> 0:05:43.800 was a guy that like tried to respond to all 0:05:43.839 --> 0:05:46.400 of them. So I just got my heart broke in 0:05:46.640 --> 0:05:48.479 and you know I did the things right that the 0:05:48.520 --> 0:05:52.240 guy who won didn't necessarily do asking her parents for permission, 0:05:52.720 --> 0:05:56.400 all that nonsense, and so half the message I was 0:05:56.440 --> 0:05:59.200 getting was like your mom raised you so well, or 0:05:59.240 --> 0:06:02.520 like my mom's Facebook had like thousands of new messages, 0:06:02.680 --> 0:06:05.960 was like your son was such a things you raised 0:06:06.000 --> 0:06:08.719 him well, good job. So it's being used a lot 0:06:08.800 --> 0:06:11.440 for that, and when when you try to respond every comment, 0:06:11.720 --> 0:06:14.280 it's not gonna go well, especially like fresh off the 0:06:14.320 --> 0:06:17.919 show like that, you get thousand comments today and not 0:06:18.040 --> 0:06:20.840 all of them are good. And I had to I 0:06:20.920 --> 0:06:23.760 had to keep my comments notifications on because Britney x 0:06:23.839 --> 0:06:26.600 O x O would be like your son is a loser, 0:06:26.720 --> 0:06:28.480 and my mom would be like block her right now, 0:06:28.560 --> 0:06:31.960 I'm like, mom, chill like people. I mean, one's gonna 0:06:31.960 --> 0:06:34.640 hate me. But when when it relates to the d M, 0:06:34.760 --> 0:06:36.320 you know, I did the same thing. I tried to 0:06:36.360 --> 0:06:39.680 respond to most solve them because they're usually very supportive messages. 0:06:39.720 --> 0:06:41.960 It's like I watched your whole season. You were my favorite, 0:06:42.440 --> 0:06:45.200 and I had a few uh short you know how 0:06:45.200 --> 0:06:47.120 you can do a little command short text. I can 0:06:47.160 --> 0:06:50.080 type like tw and it auto correct all the way. 0:06:50.560 --> 0:06:52.159 I had like a thank you one where it was 0:06:52.200 --> 0:06:54.280 like I type and thank you, but it was type 0:06:54.279 --> 0:06:56.560 of whole paragraph that was like, thank you for your support, 0:06:56.680 --> 0:07:00.440 really appreciate it, watched me in the future do all that. Um, 0:07:00.720 --> 0:07:02.240 and I was just copy and pasting to a lot 0:07:02.279 --> 0:07:04.400 of these people. But don't get me wrong, if one 0:07:04.400 --> 0:07:06.479 of them was you know, a smoke show and you 0:07:06.520 --> 0:07:10.120 know had a decent, decent, decent profile going on, I'd 0:07:10.120 --> 0:07:13.120 add a little personal touch in there and maybe conversation 0:07:13.160 --> 0:07:16.280 going But um, that's kind of how it all started. 0:07:16.480 --> 0:07:18.520 And I don't I guess it's similar to like if 0:07:18.520 --> 0:07:20.280 you get on a dating app for the first time, 0:07:21.280 --> 0:07:23.560 you get excited, you just start swiping through and you 0:07:23.640 --> 0:07:25.240 end up the hunter matches. You're like, well, which one 0:07:25.280 --> 0:07:26.800 do I talk to? And you get lost in all 0:07:26.800 --> 0:07:31.160 the small talk. So um, trying to focus on the 0:07:31.200 --> 0:07:34.120 ones that you know aren't across the country in the 0:07:34.280 --> 0:07:36.520 Ukraine that are a model that you're never gonna meet 0:07:36.560 --> 0:07:38.360 in your life, but the ones that are from your 0:07:38.400 --> 0:07:42.320 hometown are like so you kind of pick and choose. 0:07:42.400 --> 0:07:45.240 But um, yeah, getting off the show that it was, 0:07:45.680 --> 0:07:47.680 it was comical for me and my me and my 0:07:47.720 --> 0:07:50.080 buddies at a group about four friends that followed me 0:07:50.080 --> 0:07:52.320 around for about two months dofter the show, and it 0:07:52.440 --> 0:07:55.440 was just non stop in the airports, take a picture, 0:07:55.640 --> 0:07:57.360 then sliding in the d M s being like, was 0:07:57.360 --> 0:07:59.200 that you I just saw you at Gate twenty three A. 0:07:59.320 --> 0:08:03.760 It was like yeah, um okay, So how do you 0:08:03.840 --> 0:08:07.280 process all of that? Because you come out with The Bachelor, um, 0:08:07.360 --> 0:08:09.840 where you've represented yourself very well, You're proud of how 0:08:09.880 --> 0:08:13.679 you represented yourself, and now there's just an overwhelming flood 0:08:13.760 --> 0:08:18.880 of attention on Mr Robbie Hayes d MS hundred a day. Um, 0:08:18.960 --> 0:08:22.400 how does somebody, how does somebody stand out so out 0:08:22.400 --> 0:08:24.920 of the hundred that come in? What are what are 0:08:25.000 --> 0:08:27.400 your where are your eyes drawn to? And how does 0:08:27.440 --> 0:08:31.600 somebody get that personalized response for me? You? So, like 0:08:31.680 --> 0:08:33.920 I said, um in the in the beginning, and I 0:08:33.960 --> 0:08:36.760 was just kind of firing off trying to be respectful 0:08:36.800 --> 0:08:39.120 back to the people who are being respectful to me. 0:08:39.240 --> 0:08:41.600 You know, if you're thanking me for giving a good show, 0:08:41.600 --> 0:08:44.400 I want to thank you for supporting it. Um And 0:08:44.440 --> 0:08:46.559 I love that man. Yeah. And and at the time, 0:08:47.000 --> 0:08:49.360 like right then, six months after I wasn't really looking 0:08:49.400 --> 0:08:51.520 for relationship, you know, I almost got engaged. I was 0:08:51.559 --> 0:08:55.280 having fun. People wanted to take pictures with me. And 0:08:55.600 --> 0:08:58.000 at my college when I go back for games, I 0:08:58.040 --> 0:09:01.560 was getting cornered and grocery stores and airports and Starbucks, 0:09:01.600 --> 0:09:05.280 you know, all the basic white girl places. Um, and 0:09:05.320 --> 0:09:07.839 I was just kind of going through it. But nowadays 0:09:08.480 --> 0:09:11.760 there are things I look for and I don't really 0:09:11.760 --> 0:09:14.120 respond to everyone because I know that people can kind 0:09:14.120 --> 0:09:16.480 of hold onto conversations and once I say I thank 0:09:16.520 --> 0:09:18.920 you for the support and all that, then they're like, well, 0:09:19.000 --> 0:09:20.560 how about we get a drink And I'm like, well, 0:09:20.840 --> 0:09:23.320 I see where this is going now. Um. But there 0:09:23.360 --> 0:09:25.600 are a few things I look for. One definitely is 0:09:26.080 --> 0:09:28.600 you know, I want to see some type of pictures 0:09:28.640 --> 0:09:31.040 with their family. Um. You know, families first. For me, 0:09:31.720 --> 0:09:36.120 it's what I hold highest above work, above anything else, 0:09:36.679 --> 0:09:39.040 is my family. I'm the oldest of five and we're 0:09:39.080 --> 0:09:41.960 all within six years. So like I'm thirty one, my 0:09:42.040 --> 0:09:46.000 younger sisters twenty four, super close family. And there's none 0:09:46.000 --> 0:09:48.240 of your friends or there's none of your families, that's 0:09:48.240 --> 0:09:51.440 a red flag to me. Um. I also really like 0:09:51.520 --> 0:09:53.640 the ones that are creative, Like I'll never forget I 0:09:53.679 --> 0:09:56.600 had a girl sent me a picture of a bed, 0:09:57.400 --> 0:10:03.360 a coffee table, and a ask just basic pictures, random 0:10:03.760 --> 0:10:06.400 like product photos, not even in a room. And the 0:10:06.440 --> 0:10:09.560 only message she sent was I just slid in or 0:10:09.600 --> 0:10:11.440 I just moved into your d M. And I was like, 0:10:11.480 --> 0:10:15.600 I get it, okay, Yeah, I'll respond to the clever 0:10:15.679 --> 0:10:18.400 ones like that, the ones that I make me giggle 0:10:18.880 --> 0:10:23.640 or catch my attention. Um, but also location matters, you know, 0:10:23.800 --> 0:10:26.440 like there could be a beautiful woman from Russia that 0:10:26.480 --> 0:10:28.240 wants to meet me, but like when am I gonna 0:10:28.240 --> 0:10:30.560 be I could go visit. Don't get me wrong, I 0:10:30.640 --> 0:10:34.240 travel ton, but I'm not gonna go over there and 0:10:34.240 --> 0:10:36.240 settle down. You're probably not gonna come over here and 0:10:36.240 --> 0:10:38.480 settle down. And how am I gonna introduce you to 0:10:38.520 --> 0:10:40.720 my family? And a lot of people think I'm crazy 0:10:40.760 --> 0:10:44.520 in the sense that I will introduce you to my family, 0:10:46.200 --> 0:10:48.600 you know, a month after I've known you. A lot 0:10:48.600 --> 0:10:50.480 of people wait until a year and a half or 0:10:50.520 --> 0:10:52.880 a year until they're comfortable and they know you're the one. 0:10:53.600 --> 0:10:55.360 I want to get you inspart of my family, to 0:10:55.360 --> 0:10:57.040 see if you can hang, to see if you can 0:10:57.080 --> 0:10:59.360 deal without a loud your art, and to see if 0:10:59.400 --> 0:11:01.920 you mash if you don't I'm wasting my time. I'm 0:11:01.920 --> 0:11:05.880 not going someone that my parents dislike just value their 0:11:05.920 --> 0:11:10.760 opinion too much, and quite frankly, of everyone in the world, 0:11:10.920 --> 0:11:14.160 they know me best. So what catches your attention more? 0:11:14.240 --> 0:11:17.320 The caption or the photo in a d M. Oh, 0:11:17.400 --> 0:11:22.000 that's that's a dangerous question. There's limitless abilities with the 0:11:22.080 --> 0:11:26.280 with the with the photo or like even just even 0:11:26.320 --> 0:11:29.840 just like say the person's profile photo, that's definitely the 0:11:29.880 --> 0:11:33.640 caption that it's definitely the message they send. If it's clever, 0:11:33.840 --> 0:11:37.120 it's heart felt. Um, you know, if they're not too 0:11:37.120 --> 0:11:40.120 aggressive off the bat, then I know that you kind 0:11:40.120 --> 0:11:42.840 of have a good heart, You're you're probably really interested 0:11:42.880 --> 0:11:46.600 in it, and we can talk through see what happens. Yeah, 0:11:47.040 --> 0:11:49.720 I think we've talked about this many times, especially since 0:11:49.800 --> 0:11:53.960 COVID on this show. Um, that the world is really 0:11:53.960 --> 0:11:56.920 waking up and getting a lot better at at interpreting 0:11:56.960 --> 0:12:02.000 digital energy. So in those d M platforms that are 0:12:02.000 --> 0:12:04.720 coming out with giving you different ways to express it, right, 0:12:04.880 --> 0:12:06.959 and so in your d MS you can tell like, wow, 0:12:07.440 --> 0:12:10.520 this person just wrote one sentence, but it feels very genuine, 0:12:10.600 --> 0:12:14.000 it feels very SCAREDI or this person wrote one sentence, 0:12:14.040 --> 0:12:17.000 and this is just like this person just wants to 0:12:17.040 --> 0:12:18.800 hook up. You know what helps with that is when 0:12:18.840 --> 0:12:23.160 someone sends something like, Hey, I really enjoyed you on 0:12:23.240 --> 0:12:26.880 the show. I loved how you put your heart out there. Um, 0:12:27.080 --> 0:12:29.920 don't worry about the breakup. You'll find the right person. 0:12:30.000 --> 0:12:33.439 Because it almost makes me feel like they've been through it. 0:12:33.440 --> 0:12:37.160 It's like it's like they're they're there by my side, 0:12:37.160 --> 0:12:40.200 patty my shoulder, you know, scratching my back, letting me 0:12:40.280 --> 0:12:42.800 know that you know what you went through, we've been 0:12:42.840 --> 0:12:47.040 through you'll make it through it. Stuff like that gets 0:12:47.080 --> 0:12:49.719 me too when it when they kind of related to themselves. 0:12:50.000 --> 0:12:53.400 It's not in a conceited way or an arrogant way, 0:12:53.440 --> 0:12:55.920 but like you know, I had to go through this 0:12:56.000 --> 0:13:00.760 as well, You'll get through this just like I did. Yeah. Um, 0:13:00.800 --> 0:13:05.760 what are some of your if I asked you to 0:13:05.760 --> 0:13:09.880 tell like one d M story, M, is there something 0:13:09.920 --> 0:13:12.720 that's just so wild that pops off in your brain 0:13:13.040 --> 0:13:15.520 like this is the funniest DM story or this was 0:13:15.559 --> 0:13:19.079 the worst DM story. Is there anything notable from your 0:13:19.160 --> 0:13:22.760 d M history that's just completely outrageous that our listeners 0:13:22.800 --> 0:13:27.520 have to hear. I mean, there's not like an elaborate 0:13:28.400 --> 0:13:31.080 I would say, d M story. I get a lot 0:13:31.160 --> 0:13:36.760 of weird stuff. Um, you know, I guess one elaborate 0:13:36.920 --> 0:13:40.040 story that actually ended up being a date his girl 0:13:40.040 --> 0:13:43.200 in l A. Um, and she slid in and I 0:13:43.240 --> 0:13:44.880 was like, sure, yeah, it's like I'm I live in 0:13:45.000 --> 0:13:46.960 l a. Let's go out. That'd be easy. We'll catch 0:13:47.160 --> 0:13:51.200 a beer and a drunk at sunset. Um. I went 0:13:51.240 --> 0:13:56.160 and sat down with three dinner and literally ten minutes 0:13:56.200 --> 0:13:58.080 in she was like, so are you gonna post us here? 0:13:59.600 --> 0:14:02.320 And as I yeah, I'll get around to this restaurant's nice, 0:14:02.360 --> 0:14:06.840 it's scenic, blah blah blah. Forty five minutes in, have 0:14:06.920 --> 0:14:08.880 you posted us here yet? I'm like, all right, I 0:14:08.960 --> 0:14:12.520 know why you're here now, followers and people to see 0:14:12.559 --> 0:14:14.120 me with you. You want to try to catch some 0:14:14.200 --> 0:14:19.080 of my following? Check please? Yeah that happened twice now 0:14:19.160 --> 0:14:23.120 actually in l A. Yeah. Um. But as far as 0:14:23.120 --> 0:14:25.800 elaborate stories, I like like the small world stories like 0:14:25.920 --> 0:14:28.320 I'll get a message from a cousin I had no 0:14:28.400 --> 0:14:30.400 idea I had, And we'll go into this long diet 0:14:30.400 --> 0:14:33.520 tribe about how like I saw them at my parents, 0:14:33.520 --> 0:14:37.040 my grandparents fiftieth anniversary. But I was, you know, twelve, 0:14:37.120 --> 0:14:39.760 so I didn't really remember meeting them. But we have 0:14:39.880 --> 0:14:42.800 these distant cousins and all these weird connections or like 0:14:43.640 --> 0:14:48.160 mom's ex boyfriends from college whose now wife's love the show, 0:14:48.320 --> 0:14:53.600 or like husband your mom back in Like yeah, people 0:14:53.640 --> 0:14:55.920 just want to find a way to connect with you. Yeah, 0:14:56.120 --> 0:14:58.440 but like that's still a cool story. You know, I'd 0:14:58.440 --> 0:14:59.840 be like, oh, that's kind of the guy that I 0:15:00.040 --> 0:15:01.800 never would have heard about that my mom dated before 0:15:01.800 --> 0:15:06.600 my dad. It's like stuff, it's not just you're hot 0:15:06.880 --> 0:15:11.320 fire flame fire flame kissing moji. Um, okay, let's call 0:15:11.360 --> 0:15:15.560 that direction, um, because undoubtedly you have got them and 0:15:15.600 --> 0:15:19.800 I'm not asking you to disclose them, but um, what 0:15:20.040 --> 0:15:24.680 is truthfully, Robbie, what where does your mind go when 0:15:24.720 --> 0:15:28.040 you get like a hot Steavie photo on a d M? 0:15:29.800 --> 0:15:32.760 And maybe it maybe changes with stages of life, right like, 0:15:33.120 --> 0:15:34.880 but like you come out of the batchelor and you 0:15:34.920 --> 0:15:37.600 get a hot Stevy DM like a photo you're probably 0:15:37.600 --> 0:15:41.320 responding to that. I was getting a new today really 0:15:41.600 --> 0:15:44.880 from from guys and girls with a public accounts, so 0:15:44.880 --> 0:15:47.920 I couldn't keep them from coming out. But really, and 0:15:48.040 --> 0:15:50.400 still to this to this day. I get one or 0:15:50.440 --> 0:15:53.960 two a week. But um, you know it goes back 0:15:53.960 --> 0:15:56.720 to the same process. I'll go look and see. You know, 0:15:56.760 --> 0:15:58.800 if if the only thing she's posting is you know, 0:15:59.200 --> 0:16:02.120 those type of those I'm not bringing you home the mom, 0:16:02.520 --> 0:16:04.640 that's a no brainer. You're gonna be wearing cut off 0:16:04.760 --> 0:16:06.720 booty shorts and she's gonna be like, what the hell 0:16:06.760 --> 0:16:10.440 are you doing? Yeah, So, um, it depends. There can 0:16:10.480 --> 0:16:15.200 be tasteful ones, you know that. There can be uh, 0:16:15.440 --> 0:16:17.920 there also can be some that are that are dirty 0:16:17.920 --> 0:16:21.760 that you're just like, wow, like, hey, let's hang out 0:16:21.800 --> 0:16:26.920 once and then uh go our separate ways. But um, yeah, 0:16:26.960 --> 0:16:29.880 I mean that happens very often. And I will say, 0:16:29.920 --> 0:16:34.400 from a bird's dive view of those images come through 0:16:34.440 --> 0:16:37.560 you don't want to see, I would probably agree with 0:16:37.600 --> 0:16:42.920 you on that. Um. Here's here's another I heard this from. 0:16:43.520 --> 0:16:45.840 Actually was a friend of mine. She used to work 0:16:45.880 --> 0:16:50.640 on our show. Um, she was wondering how to how 0:16:50.680 --> 0:16:55.120 to separate yourself in the crowd of the d ms. 0:16:55.600 --> 0:16:58.720 So let's say you're getting you come out of the Bachelor, 0:16:58.720 --> 0:17:01.280 You're getting hundreds of d M a day. Um, she 0:17:01.320 --> 0:17:04.240 said one way to separate yourself and to just add 0:17:04.240 --> 0:17:06.240 on to just sending you a d M because if 0:17:06.280 --> 0:17:09.879 you don't have a verified blue check mark, it's tough 0:17:09.920 --> 0:17:12.320 to get if you just clawed against everybody else, right, 0:17:12.440 --> 0:17:14.679 but she would said, she said. Another good way is 0:17:14.680 --> 0:17:18.040 then to follow up with like three to five photo likes? 0:17:18.800 --> 0:17:21.840 Do do do do on photos so that in your 0:17:22.000 --> 0:17:26.040 timeline thing there you'll see like this person's like, you'll 0:17:26.040 --> 0:17:29.680 see her phone her name five straight. Yeah, just to 0:17:30.320 --> 0:17:32.720 catch your eye for a second. Do people do that 0:17:32.760 --> 0:17:36.040 with you? Do you notice that works? I noticed that 0:17:36.119 --> 0:17:38.720 works now. Um. Back in the day, when you know, 0:17:38.800 --> 0:17:41.760 hundreds and hundreds were coming in, I wouldn't have seen it. 0:17:41.840 --> 0:17:45.639 You know, it's too much getting ten thousand likes of photo. 0:17:45.840 --> 0:17:47.680 Back in the day it was eighty thousand likes of 0:17:47.720 --> 0:17:51.919 photo and you're just not seeing it, um, especially the 0:17:52.000 --> 0:17:54.680 likes the d m s. Like I said, back then, 0:17:54.720 --> 0:17:56.880 i'd go through them, make sure I didn't know them 0:17:57.040 --> 0:18:01.560 or if they were to response, I respond, um. But yeah, nowadays, 0:18:01.920 --> 0:18:05.560 uh more so what catches my attention would be responding 0:18:05.600 --> 0:18:12.840 to a story. As I think in some situations. You know, 0:18:12.880 --> 0:18:15.040 how the d m s have a like, well, now 0:18:15.080 --> 0:18:17.920 they have one folder, it's your inbox, which is divided 0:18:18.000 --> 0:18:20.639 up into primary and general General, and then you have 0:18:20.680 --> 0:18:24.760 the other requests. Yeah. So um, I think if you 0:18:24.840 --> 0:18:28.280 respond to stories, it's gets requests and goes straight to 0:18:28.320 --> 0:18:31.840 your inbox, and so if if you follow them, if 0:18:31.880 --> 0:18:36.240 I follow them, yeah, I get those notifications a lot better. 0:18:36.440 --> 0:18:39.480 And I've found that people get responses quicker because they 0:18:39.520 --> 0:18:42.119 do that, and so I'll do that as well. I 0:18:42.200 --> 0:18:45.200 respond to stories instead, just because it's also relative. It's 0:18:45.240 --> 0:18:48.119 not some weird dude with blue check mark slide in 0:18:48.160 --> 0:18:49.960 your d M being like, hey you're gorgeous. Well you 0:18:49.960 --> 0:18:53.080 probably knew that, that's why you're posting all these beautiful photos. 0:18:53.640 --> 0:18:57.119 But responding to a d M or responding to a story, 0:18:57.240 --> 0:18:59.879 and you know, relating to something like they're in Ibiza. 0:19:00.760 --> 0:19:02.800 I loved when I went back in two thousand seventeen. 0:19:02.880 --> 0:19:05.359 You know, yeah, I find do you try and find 0:19:05.359 --> 0:19:08.560 common ground with that approach? Then yeah, common ground is key. 0:19:08.680 --> 0:19:10.639 I I think, you know, if someone says something that 0:19:10.640 --> 0:19:12.159 I have no idea they're talking about, I'm probably not 0:19:12.160 --> 0:19:14.840 gonna respond. But if they say something like I said earlier, 0:19:14.880 --> 0:19:16.119 like oh I went to high school with your mom. 0:19:16.119 --> 0:19:17.520 I'm gonna be like, no way, and then I'm gonna 0:19:17.520 --> 0:19:19.120 call my mom and be like, hey, I met Harriet. 0:19:19.600 --> 0:19:26.399 You know. Yeah, um, how direct? How direct are most 0:19:26.400 --> 0:19:29.760 people with you? And how direct are you with most 0:19:29.840 --> 0:19:33.159 people with as far as your intentions of the d M. 0:19:36.200 --> 0:19:38.800 I mean, it's for directing a sense of letting them 0:19:38.840 --> 0:19:41.840 know like what I'm looking for, Yeah, somewhat Yeah, Like 0:19:42.000 --> 0:19:44.760 I mean, if somebody sends you a naked photo, that's 0:19:44.760 --> 0:19:48.200 pretty direct there, like, okay they are, I'm not gonna respond. 0:19:48.400 --> 0:19:50.560 I'm just gonna probably like double hearted and like it 0:19:50.680 --> 0:19:56.000 and hope they said or or they know I'm seeing it. 0:19:56.040 --> 0:19:58.359 But I'm not guilty by responding because I get a 0:19:58.359 --> 0:20:01.840 lot of them, and honestly, most of the accounts that 0:20:01.960 --> 0:20:06.800 send them are like two week old accounts. They followed 0:20:06.800 --> 0:20:10.359 ten people, and they're all blue check marks, and they're 0:20:10.400 --> 0:20:15.280 probably a dude behind the pictures of these girls that yeah, 0:20:15.280 --> 0:20:19.000 you're super careful. I mean, I already have, you know, 0:20:19.080 --> 0:20:22.120 pr issues with the whole sex tape issue that came out, 0:20:22.800 --> 0:20:25.440 and I don't need you know, some other dude blackmailing 0:20:25.640 --> 0:20:28.400 me because I got excited about fake photos he sent, 0:20:28.600 --> 0:20:32.840 So I'm very cautious. It is a big revenue stream 0:20:32.880 --> 0:20:35.200 for me. I don't want to lose that. I don't 0:20:35.200 --> 0:20:39.040 want to lose any credibility on it, and my fans 0:20:39.040 --> 0:20:42.720 and followers deserved that. When was the I love that, 0:20:42.760 --> 0:20:46.119 I love that approach? Um, when was the last DM 0:20:46.200 --> 0:20:52.840 that you sent? Oh? Like a deliberate, deliberate slide I 0:20:52.880 --> 0:21:00.320 remember was Miranda from Game of Rooms. Miranda from Game 0:21:00.359 --> 0:21:03.560 of Thrones. Her name is actually like Charlotte Hope. She 0:21:03.640 --> 0:21:06.800 only has like a like twenty dollars, but I thought 0:21:06.840 --> 0:21:09.399 she was gorgeous. She's a little art c for me, 0:21:09.760 --> 0:21:13.280 but I'm in l A. She's probably in l A sometimes. 0:21:13.280 --> 0:21:15.360 So I slid in. It's like all right in my room, 0:21:15.800 --> 0:21:17.480 and I will do fun stuff like we got a 0:21:17.480 --> 0:21:21.000 basketball whoping back back of the house and I'll film 0:21:21.119 --> 0:21:23.240 him and he'll be like, all right in a stone. 0:21:23.320 --> 0:21:25.560 If I make this shot, you have to go to 0:21:25.640 --> 0:21:29.160 Trader Joe's with me and shot next weekend and we'll 0:21:29.160 --> 0:21:30.639 obviously do it un till he makes a shot and 0:21:30.680 --> 0:21:33.680 then we'll send the video. Like fun stuff like that, 0:21:33.920 --> 0:21:36.560