Speaker 1: This is How Men Think with broths Like and Gavin
Speaker 1: to Grab and I Hear radio podcast. Welcome to another
Speaker 1: episode of How Men Think. My name is brooks Like
Speaker 1: and today we are going to have a lot of fun.
Speaker 1: Today is a really fun episode. And sometimes our episodes
Speaker 1: are are really thought provoking, really emotional, really deep. In
Speaker 1: other days they're more playful, lighthearted and fun. Um and
Speaker 1: that's going to be one of the episodes today. So
Speaker 1: today we have two very special guests coming on with
Speaker 1: us today, and we're talking about everybody's favorite topic, sliding
Speaker 1: into the d MS. So we have someone starting with
Speaker 1: one of our first guests here whose reputation for the
Speaker 1: d m s precedes him. Um. But he is a
Speaker 1: former uber competitive swimmer, actually tried out for the Olympics.
Speaker 1: He's a American model and you probably best known him
Speaker 1: as a reality TV star from Joejoe's season on the
Speaker 1: Bachelorette and from Bachelor in Paradise. Mr Robbie Hayes, he's
Speaker 1: with us today, Robbie, what's up, buddy? Hey guys, I'm good.
Speaker 1: Thanks for having me. Um My man. When we put
Speaker 1: together this show, I started asking our producers and I'm like,
Speaker 1: I want to do a show on d MS about
Speaker 1: sliding into d MS, just to have some fun and
Speaker 1: also because dating during COVID it seems to be the
Speaker 1: most prominent way for people to still connect. Um. And
Speaker 1: one of the first names that popped up was Robbie Hayes.
Speaker 1: I love it. I love it, thank you. That is
Speaker 1: producer I I I'm gonna out our producer Danielle brought
Speaker 1: your name up. Um. And so, so you are the
Speaker 1: master of the d M s. Is it that you
Speaker 1: are the master of the d M s or is
Speaker 1: it that you just received so many d M s Um?
Speaker 1: I mean I used to receive a lot back during
Speaker 1: the shows, hundreds of days, but you know it's slowed
Speaker 1: down for sure. UM, I don't. I wouldn't consider my
Speaker 1: stuff a master by any means, but it's definitely utilized.
Speaker 1: It's a one of the greatest tools we have now,
Speaker 1: especially like you said, during COVID. So when did you
Speaker 1: first start using When did you first start using social media?
Speaker 1: When did you first start using d M s UM.
Speaker 1: I was a little late to the social media game
Speaker 1: in general. UM. I remember in high school when it
Speaker 1: kind of when Instagram kind of came out. Um, I
Speaker 1: was a little late to the party. Actually a girlfriend
Speaker 1: got me into it, Um, so we could I blame
Speaker 1: her for all the d ns and thousands of dms
Speaker 1: I've sent every ten years, but um, yeah, it's a
Speaker 1: little late to the game. And then you know, before
Speaker 1: before my first show, The bachelorreat, Um, I wasn't doing bad.
Speaker 1: It's not like five or six thousand followers. And for
Speaker 1: you know, a nobody that's right right when it starts
Speaker 1: that it comes out. I didn't think that was too bad. Um. However,
Speaker 1: they take your phone on the bacheloreat so you have
Speaker 1: no contact, no internet, no TV kind of that. And
Speaker 1: literally the day I turned it on on after the show,
Speaker 1: it ended so much stuff came through, so many d
Speaker 1: M so many new followers, so many text messages, so
Speaker 1: many emails. My phone crashed on my seventeen hour flight
Speaker 1: home from Thailand, two and a half months of not
Speaker 1: having it and then getting my heart broken the day before,
Speaker 1: so all I wanted to do was look at all
Speaker 1: the nice messages my mom sent, my friends and family sent,
Speaker 1: and then it crashed. So Um. Anyways, I got home
Speaker 1: and I turned it on and had like four hundred
Speaker 1: and twenty thousand followers over essentially overnight from me right
Speaker 1: because I hadn't seen my phone since it was at
Speaker 1: five thousand, So it was life changing. Wow, What was
Speaker 1: I feeling like going from five thousand to four twenty
Speaker 1: was it? Like? What did you feel at that moment?
Speaker 1: It's just astronomical. I felt I felt nice about it.
Speaker 1: I mean, I felt like I had an influence on people.
Speaker 1: I felt like people appreciated, you know, what was going
Speaker 1: through what I was going through um on the show.
Speaker 1: And it was actually a conversation that Joejoe and I
Speaker 1: had on my season, UM during Hometowns we were out
Speaker 1: in the boat. She's like, you know, your life's gonna
Speaker 1: change after this. You're gonna be you know, picked and
Speaker 1: pulled in every different direction, and you know, if we
Speaker 1: end up together, you're gonna have to, you know, stay
Speaker 1: focused on what we've got here because it can be
Speaker 1: a deterrent and it can be uh, you know, distraction,
Speaker 1: distraction UM. And I kind of took her word for it,
Speaker 1: took her advice. She had been through the prior season
Speaker 1: with Ben Higgins and experienced at all exactly what was
Speaker 1: going on, so UM that kind of opened my eyes
Speaker 1: to like, yeah, this is actually gonna change a little bit,
Speaker 1: because in that moment while we're filming, I had no idea.
Speaker 1: I can't see my Instagram. I don't know what's going on.
Speaker 1: But um, it is a huge distraction. It is very
Speaker 1: even to this day, you can get stuck down the
Speaker 1: hole and just let's talk about that. So, so can
Speaker 1: you unpack that for me and for our listeners. So
Speaker 1: just to give you a little bit of my history,
Speaker 1: I ever had social media until I was dating. Um,
Speaker 1: I got social media at the end of I think
Speaker 1: or start somewhere in the late bloomer. Also, yeah, so
Speaker 1: I was dating. So I never had history of being
Speaker 1: single and sliding into d m s And how can
Speaker 1: I use social media in the dating world? So let
Speaker 1: me unless I want to have you unpack how this
Speaker 1: became sort of a tool for connection and opportunity for
Speaker 1: you in the dating world. Well, in my mind, uh,
Speaker 1: you know, even going down to posting a photo and
Speaker 1: getting a thousand comments, like the first few weeks, I
Speaker 1: was a guy that like tried to respond to all
Speaker 1: of them. So I just got my heart broke in
Speaker 1: and you know I did the things right that the
Speaker 1: guy who won didn't necessarily do asking her parents for permission,
Speaker 1: all that nonsense, and so half the message I was
Speaker 1: getting was like your mom raised you so well, or
Speaker 1: like my mom's Facebook had like thousands of new messages,
Speaker 1: was like your son was such a things you raised
Speaker 1: him well, good job. So it's being used a lot
Speaker 1: for that, and when when you try to respond every comment,
Speaker 1: it's not gonna go well, especially like fresh off the
Speaker 1: show like that, you get thousand comments today and not
Speaker 1: all of them are good. And I had to I
Speaker 1: had to keep my comments notifications on because Britney x
Speaker 1: O x O would be like your son is a loser,
Speaker 1: and my mom would be like block her right now,
Speaker 1: I'm like, mom, chill like people. I mean, one's gonna
Speaker 1: hate me. But when when it relates to the d M,
Speaker 1: you know, I did the same thing. I tried to
Speaker 1: respond to most solve them because they're usually very supportive messages.
Speaker 1: It's like I watched your whole season. You were my favorite,
Speaker 1: and I had a few uh short you know how
Speaker 1: you can do a little command short text. I can
Speaker 1: type like tw and it auto correct all the way.
Speaker 1: I had like a thank you one where it was
Speaker 1: like I type and thank you, but it was type
Speaker 1: of whole paragraph that was like, thank you for your support,
Speaker 1: really appreciate it, watched me in the future do all that. Um,
Speaker 1: and I was just copy and pasting to a lot
Speaker 1: of these people. But don't get me wrong, if one
Speaker 1: of them was you know, a smoke show and you
Speaker 1: know had a decent, decent, decent profile going on, I'd
Speaker 1: add a little personal touch in there and maybe conversation
Speaker 1: going But um, that's kind of how it all started.
Speaker 1: And I don't I guess it's similar to like if
Speaker 1: you get on a dating app for the first time,
Speaker 1: you get excited, you just start swiping through and you
Speaker 1: end up the hunter matches. You're like, well, which one
Speaker 1: do I talk to? And you get lost in all
Speaker 1: the small talk. So um, trying to focus on the
Speaker 1: ones that you know aren't across the country in the
Speaker 1: Ukraine that are a model that you're never gonna meet
Speaker 1: in your life, but the ones that are from your
Speaker 1: hometown are like so you kind of pick and choose.
Speaker 1: But um, yeah, getting off the show that it was,
Speaker 1: it was comical for me and my me and my
Speaker 1: buddies at a group about four friends that followed me
Speaker 1: around for about two months dofter the show, and it
Speaker 1: was just non stop in the airports, take a picture,
Speaker 1: then sliding in the d M s being like, was
Speaker 1: that you I just saw you at Gate twenty three A.
Speaker 1: It was like yeah, um okay, So how do you
Speaker 1: process all of that? Because you come out with The Bachelor, um,
Speaker 1: where you've represented yourself very well, You're proud of how
Speaker 1: you represented yourself, and now there's just an overwhelming flood
Speaker 1: of attention on Mr Robbie Hayes d MS hundred a day. Um,
Speaker 1: how does somebody, how does somebody stand out so out
Speaker 1: of the hundred that come in? What are what are
Speaker 1: your where are your eyes drawn to? And how does
Speaker 1: somebody get that personalized response for me? You? So, like
Speaker 1: I said, um in the in the beginning, and I
Speaker 1: was just kind of firing off trying to be respectful
Speaker 1: back to the people who are being respectful to me.
Speaker 1: You know, if you're thanking me for giving a good show,
Speaker 1: I want to thank you for supporting it. Um And
Speaker 1: I love that man. Yeah. And and at the time,
Speaker 1: like right then, six months after I wasn't really looking
Speaker 1: for relationship, you know, I almost got engaged. I was
Speaker 1: having fun. People wanted to take pictures with me. And
Speaker 1: at my college when I go back for games, I
Speaker 1: was getting cornered and grocery stores and airports and Starbucks,
Speaker 1: you know, all the basic white girl places. Um, and
Speaker 1: I was just kind of going through it. But nowadays
Speaker 1: there are things I look for and I don't really
Speaker 1: respond to everyone because I know that people can kind
Speaker 1: of hold onto conversations and once I say I thank
Speaker 1: you for the support and all that, then they're like, well,
Speaker 1: how about we get a drink And I'm like, well,
Speaker 1: I see where this is going now. Um. But there
Speaker 1: are a few things I look for. One definitely is
Speaker 1: you know, I want to see some type of pictures
Speaker 1: with their family. Um. You know, families first. For me,
Speaker 1: it's what I hold highest above work, above anything else,
Speaker 1: is my family. I'm the oldest of five and we're
Speaker 1: all within six years. So like I'm thirty one, my
Speaker 1: younger sisters twenty four, super close family. And there's none
Speaker 1: of your friends or there's none of your families, that's
Speaker 1: a red flag to me. Um. I also really like
Speaker 1: the ones that are creative, Like I'll never forget I
Speaker 1: had a girl sent me a picture of a bed,
Speaker 1: a coffee table, and a ask just basic pictures, random
Speaker 1: like product photos, not even in a room. And the
Speaker 1: only message she sent was I just slid in or
Speaker 1: I just moved into your d M. And I was like,
Speaker 1: I get it, okay, Yeah, I'll respond to the clever
Speaker 1: ones like that, the ones that I make me giggle
Speaker 1: or catch my attention. Um, but also location matters, you know,
Speaker 1: like there could be a beautiful woman from Russia that
Speaker 1: wants to meet me, but like when am I gonna
Speaker 1: be I could go visit. Don't get me wrong, I
Speaker 1: travel ton, but I'm not gonna go over there and
Speaker 1: settle down. You're probably not gonna come over here and
Speaker 1: settle down. And how am I gonna introduce you to
Speaker 1: my family? And a lot of people think I'm crazy
Speaker 1: in the sense that I will introduce you to my family,
Speaker 1: you know, a month after I've known you. A lot
Speaker 1: of people wait until a year and a half or
Speaker 1: a year until they're comfortable and they know you're the one.
Speaker 1: I want to get you inspart of my family, to
Speaker 1: see if you can hang, to see if you can
Speaker 1: deal without a loud your art, and to see if
Speaker 1: you mash if you don't I'm wasting my time. I'm
Speaker 1: not going someone that my parents dislike just value their
Speaker 1: opinion too much, and quite frankly, of everyone in the world,
Speaker 1: they know me best. So what catches your attention more?
Speaker 1: The caption or the photo in a d M. Oh,
Speaker 1: that's that's a dangerous question. There's limitless abilities with the
Speaker 1: with the with the photo or like even just even
Speaker 1: just like say the person's profile photo, that's definitely the
Speaker 1: caption that it's definitely the message they send. If it's clever,
Speaker 1: it's heart felt. Um, you know, if they're not too
Speaker 1: aggressive off the bat, then I know that you kind
Speaker 1: of have a good heart, You're you're probably really interested
Speaker 1: in it, and we can talk through see what happens. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think we've talked about this many times, especially since
Speaker 1: COVID on this show. Um, that the world is really
Speaker 1: waking up and getting a lot better at at interpreting
Speaker 1: digital energy. So in those d M platforms that are
Speaker 1: coming out with giving you different ways to express it, right,
Speaker 1: and so in your d MS you can tell like, wow,
Speaker 1: this person just wrote one sentence, but it feels very genuine,
Speaker 1: it feels very SCAREDI or this person wrote one sentence,
Speaker 1: and this is just like this person just wants to
Speaker 1: hook up. You know what helps with that is when
Speaker 1: someone sends something like, Hey, I really enjoyed you on
Speaker 1: the show. I loved how you put your heart out there. Um,
Speaker 1: don't worry about the breakup. You'll find the right person.
Speaker 1: Because it almost makes me feel like they've been through it.
Speaker 1: It's like it's like they're they're there by my side,
Speaker 1: patty my shoulder, you know, scratching my back, letting me
Speaker 1: know that you know what you went through, we've been
Speaker 1: through you'll make it through it. Stuff like that gets
Speaker 1: me too when it when they kind of related to themselves.
Speaker 1: It's not in a conceited way or an arrogant way,
Speaker 1: but like you know, I had to go through this
Speaker 1: as well, You'll get through this just like I did. Yeah. Um,
Speaker 1: what are some of your if I asked you to
Speaker 1: tell like one d M story, M, is there something
Speaker 1: that's just so wild that pops off in your brain
Speaker 1: like this is the funniest DM story or this was
Speaker 1: the worst DM story. Is there anything notable from your
Speaker 1: d M history that's just completely outrageous that our listeners
Speaker 1: have to hear. I mean, there's not like an elaborate
Speaker 1: I would say, d M story. I get a lot
Speaker 1: of weird stuff. Um, you know, I guess one elaborate
Speaker 1: story that actually ended up being a date his girl
Speaker 1: in l A. Um, and she slid in and I
Speaker 1: was like, sure, yeah, it's like I'm I live in
Speaker 1: l a. Let's go out. That'd be easy. We'll catch
Speaker 1: a beer and a drunk at sunset. Um. I went
Speaker 1: and sat down with three dinner and literally ten minutes
Speaker 1: in she was like, so are you gonna post us here?
Speaker 1: And as I yeah, I'll get around to this restaurant's nice,
Speaker 1: it's scenic, blah blah blah. Forty five minutes in, have
Speaker 1: you posted us here yet? I'm like, all right, I
Speaker 1: know why you're here now, followers and people to see
Speaker 1: me with you. You want to try to catch some
Speaker 1: of my following? Check please? Yeah that happened twice now
Speaker 1: actually in l A. Yeah. Um. But as far as
Speaker 1: elaborate stories, I like like the small world stories like
Speaker 1: I'll get a message from a cousin I had no
Speaker 1: idea I had, And we'll go into this long diet
Speaker 1: tribe about how like I saw them at my parents,
Speaker 1: my grandparents fiftieth anniversary. But I was, you know, twelve,
Speaker 1: so I didn't really remember meeting them. But we have
Speaker 1: these distant cousins and all these weird connections or like
Speaker 1: mom's ex boyfriends from college whose now wife's love the show,
Speaker 1: or like husband your mom back in Like yeah, people
Speaker 1: just want to find a way to connect with you. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but like that's still a cool story. You know, I'd
Speaker 1: be like, oh, that's kind of the guy that I
Speaker 1: never would have heard about that my mom dated before
Speaker 1: my dad. It's like stuff, it's not just you're hot
Speaker 1: fire flame fire flame kissing moji. Um, okay, let's call
Speaker 1: that direction, um, because undoubtedly you have got them and
Speaker 1: I'm not asking you to disclose them, but um, what
Speaker 1: is truthfully, Robbie, what where does your mind go when
Speaker 1: you get like a hot Steavie photo on a d M?
Speaker 1: And maybe it maybe changes with stages of life, right like,
Speaker 1: but like you come out of the batchelor and you
Speaker 1: get a hot Stevy DM like a photo you're probably
Speaker 1: responding to that. I was getting a new today really
Speaker 1: from from guys and girls with a public accounts, so
Speaker 1: I couldn't keep them from coming out. But really, and
Speaker 1: still to this to this day. I get one or
Speaker 1: two a week. But um, you know it goes back
Speaker 1: to the same process. I'll go look and see. You know,
Speaker 1: if if the only thing she's posting is you know,
Speaker 1: those type of those I'm not bringing you home the mom,
Speaker 1: that's a no brainer. You're gonna be wearing cut off
Speaker 1: booty shorts and she's gonna be like, what the hell
Speaker 1: are you doing? Yeah, So, um, it depends. There can
Speaker 1: be tasteful ones, you know that. There can be uh,
Speaker 1: there also can be some that are that are dirty
Speaker 1: that you're just like, wow, like, hey, let's hang out
Speaker 1: once and then uh go our separate ways. But um, yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean that happens very often. And I will say,
Speaker 1: from a bird's dive view of those images come through
Speaker 1: you don't want to see, I would probably agree with
Speaker 1: you on that. Um. Here's here's another I heard this from.
Speaker 1: Actually was a friend of mine. She used to work
Speaker 1: on our show. Um, she was wondering how to how
Speaker 1: to separate yourself in the crowd of the d ms.
Speaker 1: So let's say you're getting you come out of the Bachelor,
Speaker 1: You're getting hundreds of d M a day. Um, she
Speaker 1: said one way to separate yourself and to just add
Speaker 1: on to just sending you a d M because if
Speaker 1: you don't have a verified blue check mark, it's tough
Speaker 1: to get if you just clawed against everybody else, right,
Speaker 1: but she would said, she said. Another good way is
Speaker 1: then to follow up with like three to five photo likes?
Speaker 1: Do do do do on photos so that in your
Speaker 1: timeline thing there you'll see like this person's like, you'll
Speaker 1: see her phone her name five straight. Yeah, just to
Speaker 1: catch your eye for a second. Do people do that
Speaker 1: with you? Do you notice that works? I noticed that
Speaker 1: works now. Um. Back in the day, when you know,
Speaker 1: hundreds and hundreds were coming in, I wouldn't have seen it.
Speaker 1: You know, it's too much getting ten thousand likes of photo.
Speaker 1: Back in the day it was eighty thousand likes of
Speaker 1: photo and you're just not seeing it, um, especially the
Speaker 1: likes the d m s. Like I said, back then,
Speaker 1: i'd go through them, make sure I didn't know them
Speaker 1: or if they were to response, I respond, um. But yeah, nowadays,
Speaker 1: uh more so what catches my attention would be responding
Speaker 1: to a story. As I think in some situations. You know,
Speaker 1: how the d m s have a like, well, now
Speaker 1: they have one folder, it's your inbox, which is divided
Speaker 1: up into primary and general General, and then you have
Speaker 1: the other requests. Yeah. So um, I think if you
Speaker 1: respond to stories, it's gets requests and goes straight to
Speaker 1: your inbox, and so if if you follow them, if
Speaker 1: I follow them, yeah, I get those notifications a lot better.
Speaker 1: And I've found that people get responses quicker because they
Speaker 1: do that, and so I'll do that as well. I
Speaker 1: respond to stories instead, just because it's also relative. It's
Speaker 1: not some weird dude with blue check mark slide in
Speaker 1: your d M being like, hey you're gorgeous. Well you
Speaker 1: probably knew that, that's why you're posting all these beautiful photos.
Speaker 1: But responding to a d M or responding to a story,
Speaker 1: and you know, relating to something like they're in Ibiza.
Speaker 1: I loved when I went back in two thousand seventeen.
Speaker 1: You know, yeah, I find do you try and find
Speaker 1: common ground with that approach? Then yeah, common ground is key.
Speaker 1: I I think, you know, if someone says something that
Speaker 1: I have no idea they're talking about, I'm probably not
Speaker 1: gonna respond. But if they say something like I said earlier,
Speaker 1: like oh I went to high school with your mom.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be like, no way, and then I'm gonna
Speaker 1: call my mom and be like, hey, I met Harriet.
Speaker 1: You know. Yeah, um, how direct? How direct are most
Speaker 1: people with you? And how direct are you with most
Speaker 1: people with as far as your intentions of the d M.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's for directing a sense of letting them
Speaker 1: know like what I'm looking for, Yeah, somewhat Yeah, Like
Speaker 1: I mean, if somebody sends you a naked photo, that's
Speaker 1: pretty direct there, like, okay they are, I'm not gonna respond.
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna probably like double hearted and like it
Speaker 1: and hope they said or or they know I'm seeing it.
Speaker 1: But I'm not guilty by responding because I get a
Speaker 1: lot of them, and honestly, most of the accounts that
Speaker 1: send them are like two week old accounts. They followed
Speaker 1: ten people, and they're all blue check marks, and they're
Speaker 1: probably a dude behind the pictures of these girls that yeah,
Speaker 1: you're super careful. I mean, I already have, you know,
Speaker 1: pr issues with the whole sex tape issue that came out,
Speaker 1: and I don't need you know, some other dude blackmailing
Speaker 1: me because I got excited about fake photos he sent,
Speaker 1: So I'm very cautious. It is a big revenue stream
Speaker 1: for me. I don't want to lose that. I don't
Speaker 1: want to lose any credibility on it, and my fans
Speaker 1: and followers deserved that. When was the I love that,
Speaker 1: I love that approach? Um, when was the last DM
Speaker 1: that you sent? Oh? Like a deliberate, deliberate slide I
Speaker 1: remember was Miranda from Game of Rooms. Miranda from Game
Speaker 1: of Thrones. Her name is actually like Charlotte Hope. She
Speaker 1: only has like a like twenty dollars, but I thought
Speaker 1: she was gorgeous. She's a little art c for me,
Speaker 1: but I'm in l A. She's probably in l A sometimes.
Speaker 1: So I slid in. It's like all right in my room,
Speaker 1: and I will do fun stuff like we got a
Speaker 1: basketball whoping back back of the house and I'll film
Speaker 1: him and he'll be like, all right in a stone.
Speaker 1: If I make this shot, you have to go to
Speaker 1: Trader Joe's with me and shot next weekend and we'll
Speaker 1: obviously do it un till he makes a shot and
Speaker 1: then we'll send the video. Like fun stuff like that,
Speaker 1: or like like I just said, will slide in and
Speaker 1: be like Hey, I'm going up to Trader Joe's this afternoon.
Speaker 1: I was wondering if you need anything, I can pick
Speaker 1: it up. And it's like like you already know the
Speaker 1: person type of thing. Yeah, I like it. So for
Speaker 1: our for our male listeners of the show, can you
Speaker 1: give us like more tips like that, some of your
Speaker 1: best tips and tricks. I'm sliding into the d O
Speaker 1: what you have, what you have seen found to like
Speaker 1: work really well and get a response. I'd be I'd
Speaker 1: either be clever and well spoken, or I would relate
Speaker 1: to something. Go look at their past ten posts. If
Speaker 1: they've been somewhere you've been, bring it up. Um, maybe
Speaker 1: you know something a bar that they missed that they
Speaker 1: didn't go to, and they'll thank you for it and
Speaker 1: then you'll be friends. Um, do not do oh I would.
Speaker 1: I would drag my private parts through a mile glass
Speaker 1: just to sit back dinner with you. Like, don't do
Speaker 1: just fireflame emojis. Don't do the eyeballs. I will spoil
Speaker 1: you rotten if you are my sugar baby, don't do
Speaker 1: that stuff. That's what about? What about pickup lines? Pick
Speaker 1: up lines gonna be fun? You know? If if I
Speaker 1: haven't heard them. If I've heard them and they're old,
Speaker 1: then it's like try harder. But if I haven't heard them,
Speaker 1: like I said, they moved in the d M one.
Speaker 1: I love that I was. I respect that responded back.
Speaker 1: I have no idea who it was, never mat her,
Speaker 1: but I liked it and she got a response out
Speaker 1: of it. So something that stands out. I know what
Speaker 1: I do I have. I have a lot of girls
Speaker 1: that saw me back in the day, cross paths with me,
Speaker 1: whether it's at my front house for a football game,
Speaker 1: going back to school, or the grocery store or at
Speaker 1: a bar where I did appearance in eaton greet and
Speaker 1: you know, like two years later later, they'll get that
Speaker 1: notification two years ago on this day you did, and
Speaker 1: a lot of them resend it and being a nice
Speaker 1: meeting you hope you're doing well. And I like that
Speaker 1: too because it's like it puts me back in that
Speaker 1: time where people like wanted to meet me, wanted to
Speaker 1: take pictures with me. We're paying money for tickets to
Speaker 1: events that I was hosting. It's like you still you know,
Speaker 1: you still follow me, you still support me after all
Speaker 1: these years, everything I've been through, and that will get
Speaker 1: a response. So there's there's certain things, more heartfelt things,
Speaker 1: more relatable things, rather than I'd rock your world rap
Speaker 1: like a lot of Um, what's one thing you would
Speaker 1: really caution caution people about sending d m s because
Speaker 1: it can be fun and playful, but there's also a
Speaker 1: dark side to it too. What's one thing you would
Speaker 1: caution people want make sure they're not in a relationship.
Speaker 1: So I've sent a couple of d ms in my
Speaker 1: days that I've had to go back in a race
Speaker 1: because I scrolled a little further down and I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: and a lot of these girls won't post with their
Speaker 1: boyfriend now because they've got the influencer model thing going
Speaker 1: on so they can't mess up their feet or yeah,
Speaker 1: that's how to lose followers one on one, right post
Speaker 1: with a boyfriend see you. So it's it's hard to know.
Speaker 1: And then when you figure it out, I go in there,
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, I'll either be like I didn't see
Speaker 1: your boyfriend, hope you're happy, or I'll just delete the message.
Speaker 1: So yeah, understanding makes god to okay. Um, my man,
Speaker 1: I appreciate your time. Eddie pasked words for our community members,
Speaker 1: male or female who are struggling to date during COVID
Speaker 1: and want to utilize the d M game. As the
Speaker 1: late Kobe said, shoot or shoot. You don't want to
Speaker 1: be You don't want to be that guy that's sixty
Speaker 1: five years old talking to his grandchildren saying, man, that
Speaker 1: Betty low and eighth grade, all the boys wanted her.
Speaker 1: I wish I had taken my shot because that dude,
Speaker 1: for forty five years has been holding that regret in
Speaker 1: him his entire life. You can say, no, I love it,
Speaker 1: shoot your shot. Let's do it. You're gonna regret it
Speaker 1: if you don't. Buddy, I love it. Thank you so
Speaker 1: much for the insight. Thank you for schooling me. Um,
Speaker 1: Where where can our listeners slide into your d M s?
Speaker 1: Where do you hang out most of the Instagram? Facebook?
Speaker 1: Where do you where the best? Right now? It's Robert
Speaker 1: Hunter eighty nine. Um, yeah, that that's the best place
Speaker 1: to get at me. Awesome, buddy. Okay, Well I'm gonna
Speaker 1: slide in there as well and just say thank you. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I appreciate it. Robbie, You're the man. Um. Good luck
Speaker 1: to you on your journey. And then if you have
Speaker 1: any like, if any come in from this episode that
Speaker 1: are just hilarious. Please send them to me, and then, well,
Speaker 1: how many think podcast over? Everyone listening start setting them in.
Speaker 1: Well we'll hold a little competition. Maybe they'll give away.
Speaker 1: See I did, I did that online. I posted stories today.
Speaker 1: I said, Hey, I'm doing a podcast about d M
Speaker 1: s um sliding into d M, So show me how
Speaker 1: you operate world, How do you guys slide into d M.
Speaker 1: Not that I'm looking for them, I'm not looking to
Speaker 1: get asked out in that way, just for research for
Speaker 1: this podcast and share funny, funny examples of it. So, um,
Speaker 1: it's social media little is there an account in the
Speaker 1: d M that they just post shots or something like that? Dude,
Speaker 1: you should start it down in the d M and
Speaker 1: just post shots. I'd be surprised it through as an account,
Speaker 1: but that'd be that'd be funny. You get a lot
Speaker 1: of pretty crazy submissions. Yeah, there's gotta be some fun
Speaker 1: stuff in there. Um, Robbie, my brother, I appreciate you,
Speaker 1: um being well, stay safe and thank you for sharing
Speaker 1: your d M insight. Thank you guys for having me.
Speaker 1: Cheers buddy. See ye okay, So that was Robbie Hayes
Speaker 1: giving us the male perspective on the d m S
Speaker 1: and now we have maybe the best dm or in
Speaker 1: the history of d m s. I'm just saying that
Speaker 1: because you're my friend. We have one of the most
Speaker 1: followed golfers in all of the world, an exceptional talent
Speaker 1: and beautiful lady, and an Instagram phenomen page sporadic with
Speaker 1: us page. How are you girl? Good? Thanks for having
Speaker 1: me back on I mean, we did thirst traps and
Speaker 1: might as well sliding dms. Now you know what, you
Speaker 1: know what I love is every time you're on the show,
Speaker 1: we just have so much fun. We get to do
Speaker 1: a show on thirst traps and new we're doing a
Speaker 1: show on on sliding into m both things that I
Speaker 1: was never involved in before, and now you've because of
Speaker 1: you and knowing you, You've got me involved in them.
Speaker 1: So I appreciate you getting me out of my shell. Page. Well,
Speaker 1: that's what I'm here for. And it's the process. You
Speaker 1: get a thirst trap first, and then people are sliding
Speaker 1: into your d m s and it you know, it's
Speaker 1: it's it works, It's just out's working. Is that is
Speaker 1: this is the thirst trap kind of like the gateway
Speaker 1: drug and it's a very slippery slope. After that, all
Speaker 1: of a sudden it's d m S and then all
Speaker 1: of a sudden, I find myself sending nudes. What I'll
Speaker 1: be on probably for that one too, so you'll be
Speaker 1: my therapist like, oh page, I did it. Oh god,
Speaker 1: it happened. Yeah, I'm like the devil on your shoulder,
Speaker 1: like do it do yeah? Probably? Um okay, So we
Speaker 1: want to the goal of this show one is always
Speaker 1: just to have fun. So I love having you on
Speaker 1: because we always have so much fun too. During COVID
Speaker 1: people our community are how many think listeners are are
Speaker 1: finding that really the only way they're able to still
Speaker 1: have connection and possible meet new people is through d MS.
Speaker 1: So we wanted to do a deep dive into the
Speaker 1: art of sliding into d m s and then also
Speaker 1: receiving of d ms. Um So, in your history, what
Speaker 1: have let's let's even start with your your Instagram history
Speaker 1: and your social media history. When did you start using
Speaker 1: social media and when did you start using d MS?
Speaker 1: I mean ever since I got a phone, you just
Speaker 1: would have social media and direct messaging is just a
Speaker 1: way to communicate with people. So it's never something that
Speaker 1: was like weird for me. It was almost like sending
Speaker 1: a tax It just feels very normal and natural. I
Speaker 1: will say now, or when I became like a public figure,
Speaker 1: I would never really send d MS unless it's like
Speaker 1: to my friends. I've never really like reached out to
Speaker 1: someone before. I've always had just people reach out to me. Um.
Speaker 1: Just because I'm sure you know this as well. It
Speaker 1: can be very overwhelming, like the amount of messages and
Speaker 1: d MS that you get from people, and like as
Speaker 1: soon as you answer one person, then you kind of
Speaker 1: have to keep up a conversation with that person. And
Speaker 1: so it's always like do I want to respond and
Speaker 1: then keep up a conversation because once you respond, you
Speaker 1: can't just not respond anymore. So it's, uh, it's it's interesting.
Speaker 1: But I think also people realize that you have two
Speaker 1: and a half three million followers on Instagram and and
Speaker 1: they're not the only person in the world that you
Speaker 1: are talking to. You're a very busy person, um, professional golfer.
Speaker 1: You have a say that you think that. And that's
Speaker 1: probably one thing I don't like about d m s
Speaker 1: is when people assume that you're the only person that
Speaker 1: they're talking to. So if someone will send a message
Speaker 1: and then maybe a couple of days later, even a
Speaker 1: couple of hours later, they'll send another message, like how
Speaker 1: would you not respond to me? I want to respond,
Speaker 1: and I'm like I'm trying, Like I can barely text
Speaker 1: my parents back, like I'm not gonna DM me about
Speaker 1: like my whole entire life story. Right, I can handle
Speaker 1: on In the average day, I can handle like three
Speaker 1: phone calls and five text messages and and then my
Speaker 1: head blows off. And that's not even counting emails, and
Speaker 1: that's not even counting d ms. Um. So it's just
Speaker 1: I'm not wired to sit at a computer and type
Speaker 1: and whatever. So like mind just backed up by have
Speaker 1: mountains of text messages. I haven't responded. I'm just not
Speaker 1: good at that. I'm good at FaceTime you FaceTime meet,
Speaker 1: I'll answer because I want to see your face, because
Speaker 1: I love people and I want to see your face.
Speaker 1: But digital messages messages like that, I'm not that good at.
Speaker 1: But let's dive into, um, let's dive into d m
Speaker 1: s and how somebody might use a d M to
Speaker 1: make a connection. So let's say, um, let's go from
Speaker 1: the female perspective first. So there's somebody. There's somebody that
Speaker 1: you like that a female likes a male and wants
Speaker 1: to get this man's attention. What is a way that
Speaker 1: you in the past or you have used, or a
Speaker 1: way that you could advise our listeners on on sliding
Speaker 1: into this person's d M. Yeah, well, there's usually a process.
Speaker 1: So first you have to follow the person and then
Speaker 1: you like I would say about three to five pictures,
Speaker 1: usually in a row so they can see your name
Speaker 1: pop up. And after you do that, normally that person
Speaker 1: will then d M you and they'll just be like, hey,
Speaker 1: what's going on. But if they don't do that, then
Speaker 1: I would normally just say something funny. I like funny
Speaker 1: d M s. I think that catches my attention a lot.
Speaker 1: I hate when someone will just send like hey, or
Speaker 1: how are you, or like what's up? I want to laugh.
Speaker 1: I want to be entertained. I want to like have
Speaker 1: a connection from the very start and to startart a
Speaker 1: conversation because it's so hard when I was like hey,
Speaker 1: and then what do you say back to that? You
Speaker 1: know you can't do anything. So when guys DM me
Speaker 1: and they say things that are really funny. My favorite
Speaker 1: one is they'll send like a um emojis of different
Speaker 1: furniture and they say, hey, sorry, just moving into your
Speaker 1: d m s. Or they'll do one where they will
Speaker 1: send a picture of their dog and they're like, sorry,
Speaker 1: my dog's lost. Uh I found him in your DMS.
Speaker 1: So like that, Yeah, like really it's really smooth, it's funny.
Speaker 1: I had a guy once asked me, like what my
Speaker 1: favorite soup was, but he would I didn't respond right away,
Speaker 1: and he kept every day. It was consistent. He'd be
Speaker 1: like chicken noodle. Uh, you just started naming like different soups.
Speaker 1: And I finally had to respond because I was like,
Speaker 1: this guy is so persistent. When you're so funny, it's
Speaker 1: something that's different. UM. Usually though, like when I would
Speaker 1: sign in someone's dm s, I'm trying to think, I mean,
Speaker 1: just you just make it fun. Just try to catch
Speaker 1: their attention. Maybe pick up something that's on their Instagram.
Speaker 1: So if they were like, um fishing, then I maybe
Speaker 1: make a funny joke about that, or if they really
Speaker 1: like golf, you know, mentioned that, but always come in
Speaker 1: with like a question or something like a kind of
Speaker 1: joke just so they have like their forced to respond
Speaker 1: at that point. It's it's interesting that that humor is
Speaker 1: one way that catches your eye, you know, because different people,
Speaker 1: like we just talked about Robbie. He was talking about
Speaker 1: like anything family or friends related, anything creative, um locations.
Speaker 1: If somebody says, hey, I live in l A as well,
Speaker 1: he's like, oh, that catches my attention right away. Um
Speaker 1: for you, he never mentioned, like he said, be fun,
Speaker 1: but you really mentioned humor. So humor is one way
Speaker 1: that you receive positive affirmation from a d M. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think it it comes up non threatening. If someone
Speaker 1: will side my d M and they say, hey, I
Speaker 1: see you're in Arizona, I'm in town. Let's grab drink
Speaker 1: or something that's almost like, okay, how do you know
Speaker 1: where I live? And it almost seems like they have
Speaker 1: an agenda instead of when it's kind of fun and silly.
Speaker 1: I'm just interested in knowing them better and then you
Speaker 1: can kind of move into that. But I don't like
Speaker 1: when it's too direct right off from the front. M Okay.
Speaker 1: So because I know you've and you've shared it, you've
Speaker 1: had a history of that. I mean, you're very open
Speaker 1: on your podcast playing around where you talk about using
Speaker 1: d M s and you talk about your experience on
Speaker 1: d M s, and you talk a lot about negative
Speaker 1: experience d M. What are some of the like worst experiences?
Speaker 1: Um that that what some of the worst ways that
Speaker 1: men can DM somebody something that you'd advise our male community, like,
Speaker 1: do not do this from a female perspective. This will
Speaker 1: never get a response. UM, I feel like this is
Speaker 1: pretty self explanatory, and you feel I feel like guys
Speaker 1: should just notice, but they really don't. UM, do not
Speaker 1: send a dick picture as the very first d M
Speaker 1: you ever sent a female. It is never ever going
Speaker 1: to work. It's never going to work. Just don't send
Speaker 1: a dick picture. It's not the move. It's not the move.
Speaker 1: I hand up. I have never ever in my life
Speaker 1: sent a dick pick. I've note. Maybe it would work
Speaker 1: for you, though, if you just started sending like random
Speaker 1: girls dig pictures like I'm all about it, I don't
Speaker 1: think it work. I have a buddy, one of my
Speaker 1: best friends in the world. Why day I was at
Speaker 1: practice and I came out of practice and I had
Speaker 1: a text message from him, and he's very opposite of me,
Speaker 1: and the text message just said I sent five dick pics.
Speaker 1: This morning and it was only nine am, and I
Speaker 1: was like, oh my god. And then I was asked.
Speaker 1: I was like, I've never said one. I have never
Speaker 1: said one in my life. Still to this day, I
Speaker 1: have never said one. Um. I was like, how do
Speaker 1: you do it, like just just the dick or do
Speaker 1: you put the face in it? The body? And he goes, oh,
Speaker 1: I did the whole thing, face, all of it. And
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my god, Like, do you realize the
Speaker 1: internets forever? Like that's out there now? Um. But I agree.
Speaker 1: I even I get some of those. I get some
Speaker 1: dick pics in mind randomly. I don't know why. Um.
Speaker 1: And it's the most startling and like abrupt thing ever.
Speaker 1: And it's not nice to look at at all. No, No,
Speaker 1: it's not fun. I don't want to see that. But
Speaker 1: it's interesting though, because some of my guy friends who
Speaker 1: are athletes or have a lot of followers women do
Speaker 1: the opposite. They'll send nude picture but it works for them,
Speaker 1: like that's like their go to move is just to
Speaker 1: be like hey here, like this is what you're getting,
Speaker 1: and they like that. So guys don't just don't do
Speaker 1: it though, guys don't, Okay, don't do it, jest, do
Speaker 1: not do it. You're better than that. Okay, So here's
Speaker 1: a question for you. So you like a guy, Um,
Speaker 1: there's somebody that's caught your tension your female. You like
Speaker 1: a guy or a girl, whether it doesn't matter, but
Speaker 1: how do you slide in? What's one? Is it? Is
Speaker 1: it more text and caption based? Is it photo? Is
Speaker 1: it trying to find something that you have common ground on.
Speaker 1: Is it responding to a story? What's what are some
Speaker 1: of the best ways for a female to slide into
Speaker 1: somebody's d M. I think responding to a story is
Speaker 1: really easy to do because you're responding to something that
Speaker 1: they posted and that will usually strike up a conversation
Speaker 1: or again finding common ground, finding a common interest that
Speaker 1: you guys can talk about. But again, always open up
Speaker 1: with a question, make it long so they have to
Speaker 1: respond in if you actually put work into it and
Speaker 1: like you're interested in that person, and I think guys
Speaker 1: really appreciate that, and especially if you come in with
Speaker 1: a little bit of humor and make it fun and
Speaker 1: just try to stand out from what everyone else is
Speaker 1: probably sending that person or trying to be just a
Speaker 1: little bit different. Got you Okay, Um, what's your thoughts
Speaker 1: on sending a photo? Should should a lady send a
Speaker 1: photo as well or just rely on the caption? Um
Speaker 1: mebe me. I don't know. I don't know if that's
Speaker 1: the move right away, like first just to send a photo. Um. Sometimes,
Speaker 1: if I'm going through my d M s and I
Speaker 1: see that someone send a photo, I tend just kind
Speaker 1: of skipped through it because when you're looking at someone
Speaker 1: it like says it's like black basically so you can't
Speaker 1: see in so you have to click on the photo,
Speaker 1: like approve them first and then click on it. And
Speaker 1: sometimes I don't like that. I just kind of like
Speaker 1: skip through it. But if I see something that's funny
Speaker 1: in text, sort like a longer text, then I'll tend
Speaker 1: to read that first before I look at a photo.
Speaker 1: Do you get I'm sure you do, because you post
Speaker 1: a lot about your dog. Do you get a lot
Speaker 1: of hey, my dog wants to play with your dog?
Speaker 1: Kind of? Yes? Yeah, I love it. I mean I
Speaker 1: will say if a guy sends me a picture of
Speaker 1: his dog, chances that I'm definitely going to respond because
Speaker 1: I just have such a soft spall in my heart
Speaker 1: for animals. Um, so, but it's also when people like
Speaker 1: respond to my story. And I think that's when if
Speaker 1: you want to send a picture and have up beer
Speaker 1: opening DM, do it in a response to someone else's
Speaker 1: story and be like, if they they're showing their dog,
Speaker 1: you can show your dog. But I don't know, I'm
Speaker 1: not I'm not big on pictures. So so is that
Speaker 1: kind of the way So for our male listens for
Speaker 1: if somebody wants to connect with you or for a female,
Speaker 1: is that kind of like a less intimidating, more common ground, um,
Speaker 1: more organic way to at least open up the connection,
Speaker 1: you know, the flow of communication. Just I love your pop,
Speaker 1: I have a two year old lab or doodle two
Speaker 1: or so whatever they want to say, but at least, um,
Speaker 1: and here's a photo of them or whatever. Or we
Speaker 1: love my dog loves chasing a phrasebee too, whatever, or
Speaker 1: my dog makes these amazing pots as well. Um, but
Speaker 1: at least that way, at least that way now there's
Speaker 1: they there's more of a give and take and there's
Speaker 1: a line of communication and maybe it's a little less
Speaker 1: direct of a contact then coming out and like, hey,
Speaker 1: I want to get drinks with you tonight, you know,
Speaker 1: like you can follow, you can you can organically build
Speaker 1: a little bit of trust and a little bit of
Speaker 1: humor and connection prior to UM, prior to leading the
Speaker 1: conversation where you might ultimately want it to go. Yeah,
Speaker 1: oh yeah, if if someone asked me a question, maybe
Speaker 1: like what kind of food doesn't need go like to eat?
Speaker 1: Or what to what toy is he playing with? Or
Speaker 1: if you'll ask me a question about um, the club
Speaker 1: golf clubs that I'm playing, anything like that, Like a
Speaker 1: question is the best way to kind of like start
Speaker 1: up a conversation. But I will say this, I think
Speaker 1: we put a lot of effort and thought into like
Speaker 1: how we want to communicate with someone else. And truth
Speaker 1: is that person that person either likes you or they
Speaker 1: don't like you. And so you could send this amazing
Speaker 1: dm or an amazing text and they don't respond, then like,
Speaker 1: don't worry about it, Like you'll find another person. And
Speaker 1: if you have your own personal style of dm NG
Speaker 1: and maybe that is just sending hey message or maybe
Speaker 1: it is sending a picture. There's no right or wrong
Speaker 1: way to communicate with someone, and everyone communicates differently, and
Speaker 1: so I think that's important to keep in mind, Like
Speaker 1: just do what you want to do. And if the
Speaker 1: person you're like dming doesn't like it, but don't waste
Speaker 1: your time on it. They probably are not gonna like
Speaker 1: you anyways, so just move on to the next person. So, okay,
Speaker 1: follow up to that then, So let's say let's say
Speaker 1: I d M you. I'm a guy and I d
Speaker 1: M you and asked you a question or something and
Speaker 1: you just responded with a statement or an answer, but
Speaker 1: never asked me a question or anything. Follow up to
Speaker 1: try and keep the conversation going. Should I just take
Speaker 1: that hint? Oh, she's not into me, because if you
Speaker 1: were somewhat sort of to me, you'd probably have something
Speaker 1: some sort of a cliffhanger where I'd have to respond back.
Speaker 1: So this keeps going. Yeah, not necessarily, because there are
Speaker 1: times where I have responded back and it didn't warrant
Speaker 1: a question to the other person. Um. But you can
Speaker 1: usually tell if someone is interested in you, buy like
Speaker 1: their use of emojis, if the if it's like a
Speaker 1: one word answer compared to you know, more of death.
Speaker 1: But if I like, if I take my time to
Speaker 1: answer your question and it's long and I'm using emojis
Speaker 1: and I'm probably interested in you. But if you ask
Speaker 1: me something and I'd go yes, then no, like, don't
Speaker 1: don't take take a hint. UM, what kind of emojis?
Speaker 1: So I didn't know that emojis meant that somebody is
Speaker 1: sort of into you. What kind of emojis would be
Speaker 1: giveaways or not giveaways? Hints that like, oh, this person's
Speaker 1: maybe digging me. Definitely the hard eye emoji. UM, kind
Speaker 1: of like ailing emojis. There's I mean, really anything that
Speaker 1: you use. I think just like adding something like if
Speaker 1: a guy uses emojis to me, I really do feel
Speaker 1: like he's interested in me because it's like, oh, he's
Speaker 1: taking a little extra effort to put a smile at
Speaker 1: the end of sentence or you know, the hard eye
Speaker 1: emoji or anything like that. I think it's just really cute. Oh,
Speaker 1: let's want to want to do an interesting experiment with
Speaker 1: me right now, grab your phone and go to type
Speaker 1: in um or just hit your emoji section and and
Speaker 1: what are your top three on the top left corner
Speaker 1: going down? What are your top three emojis currently that
Speaker 1: you have used? For mine is the laughing, crying face,
Speaker 1: the puppy dog I face, and then um the heart emoji.
Speaker 1: Oh can I see him? Can you hold him up? Yeah?
Speaker 1: The oh, I didn't know, the puppy dog, I don't
Speaker 1: even know. I've never used that one. Oh, that one's
Speaker 1: my favorite, Like, I love that one. So how in
Speaker 1: what context do you use that? Um when you're like
Speaker 1: a little sad or you say something kind of cute
Speaker 1: like oh I miss you, and you can use like
Speaker 1: the little sad I I love that. I'm trying to
Speaker 1: find I don't even know where it is. I've already
Speaker 1: seen that a O. I don't even know if I
Speaker 1: have that one. It's like my most used one. Okay,
Speaker 1: that's a new one for me. Okay, So here are
Speaker 1: my top three most frequently used emojis. I have the
Speaker 1: double high five, then I have the slanted laughing like
Speaker 1: laughing one, and then I have the prayer hands. So
Speaker 1: the double high five I have you's a good one.
Speaker 1: Um oh, and then the fourth one is like the
Speaker 1: surfer like kind of hanked it because I use that,
Speaker 1: I'm like a later um. But I usually do that.
Speaker 1: I like high five or I'll laughing or like this
Speaker 1: one for thank you because I'll respond to a lot
Speaker 1: of comments or whatever. People send me yourself. I was like,
Speaker 1: thank you. Um, interesting, okay, so true story. I'm not
Speaker 1: good at well. I I never had social media until
Speaker 1: I was already dating, so I've never had the d M. Um.
Speaker 1: As far as dating DM, I've reached out to like
Speaker 1: musicians and people that I'm a fan of and connected
Speaker 1: that way and be like, oh my god, I love
Speaker 1: your band or like, and actually made some amazing friends
Speaker 1: that way. Um, but I've never used it as a
Speaker 1: dating tool. So emojis even I had somebody send me
Speaker 1: l O L. They were sending me l O L
Speaker 1: all the time, and I thought it meant lots of love,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, whoa, I gotta hold on. So I'm
Speaker 1: I'm a d M. I'm a d M moron. Um,
Speaker 1: But yeah, what's your thoughts on like, because sometimes people
Speaker 1: will frown on it. I think, however you meet your person,
Speaker 1: whether it's through d M S or whatever it is
Speaker 1: a dating app, however you meet your person is the
Speaker 1: most important thing. What are your thoughts people that frowned
Speaker 1: upon or the thought that maybe, oh it's it's kind
Speaker 1: of sketchy to meet somebody via d M. I don't
Speaker 1: think anyone has the right to judge someone else on
Speaker 1: how they meet their other person or how they choose
Speaker 1: to communicate with someone else, especially now with social media
Speaker 1: and just the digital age being so popular. We communicate
Speaker 1: through our phones and that's just how we find people,
Speaker 1: and and now and quarantine and with everything on, it's
Speaker 1: really hard to go out and meet people. You don't
Speaker 1: have that. And so for anyone to say like you
Speaker 1: can't use a dating app, or or make you feel
Speaker 1: desperate like you you can't find someone on your own,
Speaker 1: so you have to use a dating app, I don't
Speaker 1: agree with that. I think it's an easy way to
Speaker 1: connect with people and also just to make friends and
Speaker 1: sometimes if you're lonely, just want to talk to people
Speaker 1: and that's an easy way to do it. So UM,
Speaker 1: hopefully that stigma disappears and people can meet people how
Speaker 1: they want to page. That was a wonderful answer. Thank you. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that was amazing. I hope people listen to that and
Speaker 1: even play that back and hear that again. Um, you're
Speaker 1: so right. Um, nobody has the right to judge anybody
Speaker 1: else on how they meet their person or how they
Speaker 1: go about it. Um. But then also during these times
Speaker 1: during COVID times. Um, people are still single, people are
Speaker 1: still seeking connection in the state of the world. Doesn't
Speaker 1: mean they have to stop that, you know. So there's
Speaker 1: there's tools at our literally at our fingertips to reach out. Um,
Speaker 1: how many do Here's a question for you. How many
Speaker 1: d ms is too many? So let's say somebody like you.
Speaker 1: Let's say I'm d m ng you and I don't
Speaker 1: get noticed because you get a top like the guy
Speaker 1: that asked you about the soup's amazing. It just kept
Speaker 1: coming in and eventually responded. But how many d ms
Speaker 1: is too many? Where you're like, oh, I'm just gonna
Speaker 1: block this person because they continually d M I would say,
Speaker 1: I mean, I've never blocked someone for sending too many,
Speaker 1: because there are times where I'll I'll see it and
Speaker 1: then I'll be scrolling or something else happens, and then
Speaker 1: I just I lose it because I just get a
Speaker 1: lot of messages. And it's nice that they actually do
Speaker 1: continue to DM me because it moves it back up
Speaker 1: to the top. And sometimes I do want to talk
Speaker 1: to them, but I just I can't find their user
Speaker 1: name anymore, or I can't find their message. I would say,
Speaker 1: maybe like three if you send three d m s
Speaker 1: with no response, then maybe stop, but yeah, like maybe
Speaker 1: send a DM and then if they don't respond, like
Speaker 1: respond to someone's respond to their story and then they
Speaker 1: don't respond to that, then maybe do like one more
Speaker 1: response to their story or like one more d M
Speaker 1: and then after that just it's not gonna happen. Mm hmm. Okay, Um,
Speaker 1: did you see my Instagram story today just before we
Speaker 1: did the show? No, I haven't. What is it? Okay?
Speaker 1: So I put it on my Instagram today, I said,
Speaker 1: reaching out to the community. I'm doing a fun podcast
Speaker 1: today talking about sliding into d m s. I want
Speaker 1: to see how the world operates. How do you guys
Speaker 1: slide into DM? So send me examples of you guys
Speaker 1: sliding into DM not because I'm looking for dates and whatever,
Speaker 1: just because I want to see how the world operates. Um.
Speaker 1: And So I've been getting a bunch of them, some
Speaker 1: interesting ones. Um, and I kind of just want to
Speaker 1: ask you if you've heard any of these, because you've
Speaker 1: probably got You've probably like for somebody to like catch
Speaker 1: pages attention with something new is probably like a monumental achievement.
Speaker 1: You've probably heard them all. Um, are you a bank
Speaker 1: loan because you've got my interests. Yeah, that one. I
Speaker 1: would definitely respond to that one. I love I think
Speaker 1: it's funny. I love it. Um, here's a here's another
Speaker 1: blue would love to spend a day with Koda hashtag DM.
Speaker 1: Um here's one. Somebody just sent me one. Um, it's
Speaker 1: them laying in bad. They're not naked, but it's them
Speaker 1: laying in bad and it just says slide. I mean
Speaker 1: it's aggressive like that. That is that's a good one.
Speaker 1: I love them. They will send like a picture of
Speaker 1: like um, like something like that where it's like a
Speaker 1: guy sliding in. They're like sliding your DM. I think
Speaker 1: that's funny for sure. I actually laughed at it. I
Speaker 1: actually laughed at it because I kind of appreciated the forwardness.
Speaker 1: But but it wasn't it wasn't a naked photo, so
Speaker 1: it wasn't like super aggressive and in your face and
Speaker 1: really distinct and overly direct. But it was kind of
Speaker 1: just playful, Like I actually thought it was kind of funny. Um,
Speaker 1: hi zaddy with the z no no no no. I
Speaker 1: have never said that I would never want if I
Speaker 1: was a guy, I would never want some saying that
Speaker 1: me that is like, no go for me? Why is that?
Speaker 1: Why is that one so bad? I feel the same way,
Speaker 1: but like this whole like daddy phenomenon like really creeps
Speaker 1: me out. I don't know, It's just like it just
Speaker 1: makes you look like you have like daddy issues or
Speaker 1: something like I don't want to data guys like my
Speaker 1: daddy like I don't. And it just increased me out
Speaker 1: big time. Um do you can you? Do you have
Speaker 1: any in yours right now that you think are just
Speaker 1: hilarious that you'd want to share? Let me look, I
Speaker 1: haven't liked it a little bit. Um this person, this
Speaker 1: person just said can I borrow some money? Thought that
Speaker 1: was clever. I sent an address and said can you
Speaker 1: come to my Do you want to go on a
Speaker 1: date with me? And just like sent the address of
Speaker 1: a restaurant. Okay, it's not bad. Um. Most I mostly
Speaker 1: just get like people commenting on my golf swing or
Speaker 1: like giving me tips. Yeah, what about what about this message? Um? Hi,
Speaker 1: nice to meet you. You're super inspiring, have incredible positive energy.
Speaker 1: Thank you for being amazing and putting a smile on
Speaker 1: my face every time I see a pick of you?
Speaker 1: And coda is that what is that under because that
Speaker 1: that just feels like a nice friend message. That doesn't
Speaker 1: feel like a this person is interested in the message.
Speaker 1: I think it depends on what your intentions are. Um.
Speaker 1: If you just want to hook up that person with
Speaker 1: that person, definitely be more forward and send something really
Speaker 1: flirty and fun. If you are interested in maybe your
Speaker 1: relationship or seeing where it goes, then send something kind
Speaker 1: of in between. If you're looking just to like connect,
Speaker 1: then send a message like that. But I think you
Speaker 1: have to be clear with like what your intentions are
Speaker 1: going into it, um, because it's going to determine like
Speaker 1: how you DM that person. You're you're so good page
Speaker 1: You're right because this I agree this. I feel like
Speaker 1: it's just a friend message. Yeah. Well no, they used
Speaker 1: the hard eye emoji. Oh yeah, I didn't say that.
Speaker 1: They used the hard eye. Um high and I used
Speaker 1: to meet you hard eyes? Oh does that see? I
Speaker 1: miss it? They missed it. That's interested, that's interested, yeah, um,
Speaker 1: because it's like, oh, I think you're cute, like I'm
Speaker 1: giving you hard eyes. Okay. There are four photos as well.
Speaker 1: The first three are of dogs looks like a husky,
Speaker 1: and then the fourth one is in a bikini. So
Speaker 1: that fact that girl send you a bikini picture and
Speaker 1: a hard eyes and you're like, oh, it's just a
Speaker 1: friendly message. I didn't look at the photos first. I
Speaker 1: just looked at the message first. Okay. So that's a
Speaker 1: good clue for everyone. Don't send photos because you didn't
Speaker 1: even look at the photos. Yeah, it's just because it
Speaker 1: was just like black black black black, Like um okay, um,
Speaker 1: what's a what's I don't know, jeez, it's so hard.
Speaker 1: So are people actually like maybe people that are out
Speaker 1: there that are like, oh I haven't been approached. Are
Speaker 1: they just like me where they're just missing the boat? Yes? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean I think like you're getting hundreds of messages
Speaker 1: from women who are interested in You're like, I don't
Speaker 1: get it. I don't know not Oh man, Um okay,
Speaker 1: can you give our can you give our male listeners
Speaker 1: just a couple of real quick just to summarize this,
Speaker 1: because I know your business. I want to want to
Speaker 1: take up all your day summarize this the dudes, And
Speaker 1: don't d m E. Not send a dick picture. That's
Speaker 1: the one part. Don't not send a dick picture? Does
Speaker 1: that just that's the one don't don't do that. Um
Speaker 1: I would say, do be cute, fun and kind of
Speaker 1: set yourself apart. So send like a flirty message or
Speaker 1: funny message or anything other than just like, hey, what's up?
Speaker 1: And then find common grounds. So ask them about something
Speaker 1: that they're interested in, ask them a question, and then
Speaker 1: be a little bit persistent. Maybe send them a couple
Speaker 1: of messages because they didn't see the first one. Um,
Speaker 1: So don't be afraid to know, be persistent, but if
Speaker 1: they don't respond, don't get mad at them. And also
Speaker 1: just do what you want to do. If you're going
Speaker 1: to communicate the way you want to communicate, and if
Speaker 1: someone likes that, they like it. If they don't, they don't,
Speaker 1: So just move on to the next person. There's a
Speaker 1: lot of efficiency, amazing. Do you think people just copy
Speaker 1: and paste and just slide them to thirty people hoping
Speaker 1: to get one bite. I'll get d M sometimes from
Speaker 1: like athletes and they just will send like an emoji
Speaker 1: and it's just like the thumbs up and I'm like,
Speaker 1: you definitely just sent that to like fifty other girls.
Speaker 1: What emoji? What what emoji? And then just like a
Speaker 1: hard eye or something. No, it's literally I got some
Speaker 1: guy sent me an emoji of pizza. Um. I got
Speaker 1: one where it was like a thumbs up, I got
Speaker 1: a smiley face, I got the fire flame And normally
Speaker 1: it's like hard eyes. But they will like that's like
Speaker 1: they're moved, like they'll only send like an emoji. I'm like,
Speaker 1: don't don't do that, like put them upward into it?
Speaker 1: Is that? So that is that kind of just because
Speaker 1: that guy or girl, whoever it is, person is relying
Speaker 1: on the fact that they probably have a big platform,
Speaker 1: they probably have a blue check mark, and they're just
Speaker 1: gonna you're you'll see it and then you'll respond and
Speaker 1: be like, oh hey, what's up. And that's just kind
Speaker 1: of their like this seems ever into it and they
Speaker 1: don't like like they actually really don't have to. Like
Speaker 1: you could probably send a girl like like a dog
Speaker 1: emoji and that would be enough. Like it. Honestly, sometimes
Speaker 1: for some people it doesn't matter what you sent them.
Speaker 1: You can send them anything. What's the number one thing
Speaker 1: you get where it's just like, hey, you're one of
Speaker 1: everyone if you send me this. UM. I think the
Speaker 1: one that I dislike the most is when they say, hey,
Speaker 1: do you mind if I ask you a question. I
Speaker 1: know that's painful. I hate that because one of my
Speaker 1: guests and then they asked me, just asked me the question,
Speaker 1: like just like let's get to it, because then I
Speaker 1: have to respond and I have to respond again. Like
Speaker 1: I don't even want to open up the conversation because
Speaker 1: it's just it's not even like they're being respectful. It's
Speaker 1: almost like they're just like pandering. They just like give
Speaker 1: me attention, like I just want you to respond to
Speaker 1: me and like ask the question. There's a neediness and
Speaker 1: like a desperation laced into that energetically. That's just like
Speaker 1: off putting. I'm like, oh god, no, I don't want
Speaker 1: anything to do with that. Like just come on here,
Speaker 1: ask me your question. I'll rip it right back. Yeah,
Speaker 1: there's a hesitancy that I'm like, if you do that,
Speaker 1: I'm I'm not going to even answer you at all. Okay,
Speaker 1: uh quick. I have to side with one or the other.
Speaker 1: Is it better to have a good photo like profile
Speaker 1: photo or a good caption? Which one is going to
Speaker 1: catch your attention? More good photo a good photo? So
Speaker 1: so note to all of our listeners male and female,
Speaker 1: have a great profile photo. What is a good photo?
Speaker 1: What constituted? What are the parameters that constitute a good
Speaker 1: photo that you're gonna be like, Oh, I'm gonna click
Speaker 1: on this person's profile, They're cute, this big? How can
Speaker 1: how can you tell? What do you gotta do? I
Speaker 1: think if it's just like of your face, I think
Speaker 1: it when people are like smiling or they look happy,
Speaker 1: I think that draws me in a lot more. Um,
Speaker 1: if you can't tell what the person looks like, then
Speaker 1: I'm also probably not going to like open up dam
Speaker 1: like I want to see what you look like first,
Speaker 1: just to know, like who I'm talking to. And especially
Speaker 1: because there are a lot of like catfish situations where
Speaker 1: you don't actually know what the person looks like, and
Speaker 1: so they have like a picture of like their dog
Speaker 1: or three people, or you don't know who it is,
Speaker 1: like it's hard to know, Like it's deer put like
Speaker 1: a face to their message. If you can actually see
Speaker 1: what they look like, got you, Yeah, I agree with that.
Speaker 1: Here's yours. You are lining up a putt. Yeah, well
Speaker 1: it's a golf page. Come on, I have to have
Speaker 1: a golf picture. How long have you had the same
Speaker 1: profile picture? I've had that one for probably three years,
Speaker 1: three or four years really, m The first thing I
Speaker 1: had was just like a picture of my face, and
Speaker 1: I wanted to change it because I wanted to make
Speaker 1: it more golfy because people were confused if it was
Speaker 1: a golf page or not. And so I was like,
Speaker 1: I need a picture. But I didn't almost want to
Speaker 1: change it because I felt like it was almost like
Speaker 1: a bad thing to do, Like are people gonna recognize
Speaker 1: what my page is anymore? If you like, change the
Speaker 1: profile picture, it doesn't matter, that's okay, okay, breakdown my
Speaker 1: profile picture for me. And if this, if this slid
Speaker 1: into your d M s, would you click on it
Speaker 1: based on just profile picture or no? You can look
Speaker 1: at your phone. Um see the hesitancy there's that's that's
Speaker 1: not a definite Oh I'd click that. So I'm messing
Speaker 1: this whole Instagram game up page, you know, only because
Speaker 1: it almost doesn't look like a real picture. It looks
Speaker 1: like a picture that you could take off of the
Speaker 1: internet and like photoshopping, like make it yours. And so
Speaker 1: I would be like, is that it does he actually
Speaker 1: look like that? It's not that you look bad, it's
Speaker 1: almost like it just looks too professional. It looks like
Speaker 1: a struction picture. True story, that's a that's just a
Speaker 1: photo taken with an iPhone, not touched at all, not edited,
Speaker 1: not nothing. That was something we can all strive to
Speaker 1: be as good looking as you. Oh yeah, whatever that is.
Speaker 1: I got my hair cut pictures like five professional cameras
Speaker 1: and you're just like, it's an iPhone, not even on
Speaker 1: portrait mode. That one was on portrait mode. So true
Speaker 1: story that photo. I had just got my hair cut
Speaker 1: and I had just got the new iPhone and there
Speaker 1: was a portrait mode and Jill, who's my style, She's like,
Speaker 1: let's take a photo of it, and she's like, turned
Speaker 1: to the side. I turned aside and it just had
Speaker 1: a black background in the salon um And that was
Speaker 1: the photo that came out. And I was like, Oh,
Speaker 1: I like that. That's dope. I'm gonna run with that.
Speaker 1: It's been on there for like a couple of years. No,
Speaker 1: it's not like I said, it's not that it's a
Speaker 1: bad photo. But if I'm like worried about someone catfishing me,
Speaker 1: I would probably be like this guy likes like two
Speaker 1: professional or like good picture instead of like it looks
Speaker 1: just like a normal person, like you don't look like
Speaker 1: a normal person there. But if having the blue checkmark,
Speaker 1: which I do, you would know that I'm not catfishing,
Speaker 1: so I shouldn't. Also, if you have a blue checkmark,
Speaker 1: you should have a good photo. You could said nothing,
Speaker 1: It could be a blank screen. But if you're saying
Speaker 1: to a girl's d M, she's gonna be about it,
Speaker 1: like you don't. You don't have to put any effort
Speaker 1: into it, is it? Why because of the blue checkmark? No,
Speaker 1: because you're attractive and like you you're you played played
Speaker 1: professionally and like you have like your together and like
Speaker 1: if you just look at your profile and you're like dogs,
Speaker 1: like you don't have to you literally don't have to
Speaker 1: do anything. How a thirst trap of you naked cooking?
Speaker 1: Come on? Like you know how to do anything? Like
Speaker 1: so easy. So I've never I've never used d m
Speaker 1: NG as a tool of day just because I have
Speaker 1: to um um question. I was going to ask you, Oh,
Speaker 1: in your d MS, how important is a blue check mark?
Speaker 1: If you see a blue check mark in your d MS,
Speaker 1: what percentage of time would you read that message? Probably
Speaker 1: I got of the time, but mostly because one with
Speaker 1: like the podcast and being in digital media, like it's
Speaker 1: just nice to connect with other people, and so I
Speaker 1: want to see why they're reaching out. Um. If they're
Speaker 1: reaching out and I feel like it's like their intentions
Speaker 1: aren't great, then I'm not going to respond. Just because
Speaker 1: they have a blue checkmark doesn't mean that I'm going
Speaker 1: to respond every single time. Um, but I will read
Speaker 1: the message like it definitely catches my eye. Um, but
Speaker 1: I'm not like, oh, he has a lot of followers.
Speaker 1: I'm definitely going to talk to him, Like you still
Speaker 1: have to send a good message or ask me a
Speaker 1: question if you do have a blue check mark. Yeah. Um,
Speaker 1: let's talk about the podcast. Are enjoying it. I love it.
Speaker 1: It's been great. It's it's been a challenge for sure
Speaker 1: because it's something like I've never done before. Um, but
Speaker 1: it's nice to just have a lot of fun talk
Speaker 1: about whatever we want to talk about. And it's it's fun.
Speaker 1: It's great. So it's an iheard podcast. It's called playing Around.
Speaker 1: Um have you would have been real quickly, like one
Speaker 1: positive experience that you've noticed from it and one negative
Speaker 1: experience that you that was kind of unforeseen coming in.
Speaker 1: Positive would be just getting my personality out there more
Speaker 1: people only know me mostly just from pictures that I
Speaker 1: post on Instagram, and so it's nice that I can
Speaker 1: show I have a really like goofy silly side that
Speaker 1: people really didn't know that I had that before. And
Speaker 1: then one negative is just creating a show that people enjoy.
Speaker 1: I think that sometimes when I've gone into like serious topics,
Speaker 1: people say that it's no fun and I don't want
Speaker 1: to listen to it. And then sometimes when I'm too silly,
Speaker 1: then they'll say, like there's no substance. And so usually,
Speaker 1: like on my Instagram, I can control the comments or
Speaker 1: I control like how people receive it. But with a podcast,
Speaker 1: it's it's hard, like it's your opinions, you know, and
Speaker 1: if they don't like you or like what you're saying,
Speaker 1: and it's like they don't really like you, and so
Speaker 1: it's hard to like create a show that everyone seems
Speaker 1: to enjoy and have fun listening to. And like, yeah,
Speaker 1: we try and and it's a dance and I mean,
Speaker 1: you're we're maybe nine months longer into it than you
Speaker 1: are on yours on playing around, um, but it's a
Speaker 1: dance and we we try and do this. The reason
Speaker 1: I got into this podcast was to try and add
Speaker 1: value to the listener. I was like, Okay, how can
Speaker 1: I positively impact people's lives? Um And one way that
Speaker 1: that Gavin is amazing on our show I miss you, buddy,
Speaker 1: miss Gav is that he adds a lot of entertainment.
Speaker 1: So you get value and entertainment because, like you said,
Speaker 1: sometimes that we do want to go into the high level,
Speaker 1: really thought provoking conversations, and in other days we want
Speaker 1: to have more conversations like today which is more about
Speaker 1: d m NG and the one we had about thirst traps,
Speaker 1: which are just kind of fun too, because sometimes the
Speaker 1: world just needs to be entertained as well. UM. But
Speaker 1: I think your podcast is great. I love that you
Speaker 1: are branching out and challenging yourself in a new medium,
Speaker 1: a new format. Um. And for people that that comment
Speaker 1: on it or are judgmental of it, podcasts are hard.
Speaker 1: Like you, You're you're literally opening yourself up, your thoughts,
Speaker 1: your opinions, and anybody out there listening can jab at
Speaker 1: it in any direction anyway they see different from the
Speaker 1: way they see the world, so it takes a lot
Speaker 1: of courage. I applaud you for your courage and for
Speaker 1: your bravery for coming out and starting a podcast. Um,
Speaker 1: and I hope you enjoy it because I think it's
Speaker 1: really impactful what you're doing. Thank you. Yeah, it's been
Speaker 1: a lot of fun and I was enjoy coming on
Speaker 1: this show and adding some entertainment and we get to
Speaker 1: talk about a lot of really fun things. So I
Speaker 1: can't wait to see you up your d M game.
Speaker 1: And I'm gonna laugh. Change your profile picture after this,
Speaker 1: right right, I'll put something smoothy, just me and my dog,
Speaker 1: like just something. Um, but you're you're so good. Everything
Speaker 1: you said was so right, Everything was so fresh, and
Speaker 1: you're so right. Um, it can be and I want
Speaker 1: to encourage our community the the d M format can
Speaker 1: be a way to meet somebody. Um. For sure, connections, relationships, marriages,
Speaker 1: families have been birthed out of DM. So um. Any
Speaker 1: last advice for our listeners? Robbie Hayes our last guest,
Speaker 1: he said, shoot your shot? He said, Kobe said, shoot
Speaker 1: your shot? What what last advice could you give our
Speaker 1: listeners that there may be a little timid or haven't
Speaker 1: even ever sent a d M? Any advice for our listeners? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean his advice is great. Definitely just go for it,
Speaker 1: but be yourself. Don't try to change who you are
Speaker 1: to get a response from that other person. And so
Speaker 1: if you're looking at the profile and you can't really
Speaker 1: find common ground, then maybe it's not worth it too,
Speaker 1: DM them. So always be yourself, be true to yourself,
Speaker 1: and send what you want to send, and don't get
Speaker 1: down on yourself. If you don't get a response, has
Speaker 1: nothing to do with you, has probably something to do
Speaker 1: with them. So if they don't respond, it's not a rejection,
Speaker 1: it's is It's just the way it is, and move
Speaker 1: on to next person. Literally, just delete it and move on. Okay,
Speaker 1: Page Rene, thank you so much. Um. Where can our
Speaker 1: listeners find you and send you humorous, fund lighthearted DM. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you can find me on Instagram at page Renee, and
Speaker 1: then on Twitter and Facebook it's my full name, page Brantic.
Speaker 1: And then obviously I have a podcast called Playing Around.
Speaker 1: It's on my heart anywhere you can get your podcast,
Speaker 1: so yeah, come find me page They always appreciate you.
Speaker 1: You're my Instagram slash life coach. Um and for all
Speaker 1: our listeners, tune into page catch more page on your
Speaker 1: Playing Around podcast. Thank you, page, be well, stay safe,
Speaker 1: I hope to see you again sometime soon. Uh and
Speaker 1: everybody listening, thank you for tuning in until next week.
Speaker 1: Take care of one another, love one another, and we'll
Speaker 1: see you back here for another episode of How Men
Speaker 1: Think