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Speaker 1: This is How Men Think with broths Like and Gavin

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Speaker 1: to Grab and I Hear radio podcast. Welcome to another

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Speaker 1: episode of How Men Think. My name is brooks Like

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Speaker 1: and today we are going to have a lot of fun.

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Speaker 1: Today is a really fun episode. And sometimes our episodes

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Speaker 1: are are really thought provoking, really emotional, really deep. In

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Speaker 1: other days they're more playful, lighthearted and fun. Um and

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Speaker 1: that's going to be one of the episodes today. So

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Speaker 1: today we have two very special guests coming on with

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Speaker 1: us today, and we're talking about everybody's favorite topic, sliding

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Speaker 1: into the d MS. So we have someone starting with

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Speaker 1: one of our first guests here whose reputation for the

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Speaker 1: d m s precedes him. Um. But he is a

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Speaker 1: former uber competitive swimmer, actually tried out for the Olympics.

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Speaker 1: He's a American model and you probably best known him

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Speaker 1: as a reality TV star from Joejoe's season on the

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Speaker 1: Bachelorette and from Bachelor in Paradise. Mr Robbie Hayes, he's

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Speaker 1: with us today, Robbie, what's up, buddy? Hey guys, I'm good.

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Speaker 1: Thanks for having me. Um My man. When we put

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Speaker 1: together this show, I started asking our producers and I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I want to do a show on d MS about

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Speaker 1: sliding into d MS, just to have some fun and

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Speaker 1: also because dating during COVID it seems to be the

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Speaker 1: most prominent way for people to still connect. Um. And

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Speaker 1: one of the first names that popped up was Robbie Hayes.

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Speaker 1: I love it. I love it, thank you. That is

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Speaker 1: producer I I I'm gonna out our producer Danielle brought

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Speaker 1: your name up. Um. And so, so you are the

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Speaker 1: master of the d M s. Is it that you

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Speaker 1: are the master of the d M s or is

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Speaker 1: it that you just received so many d M s Um?

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Speaker 1: I mean I used to receive a lot back during

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Speaker 1: the shows, hundreds of days, but you know it's slowed

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Speaker 1: down for sure. UM, I don't. I wouldn't consider my

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Speaker 1: stuff a master by any means, but it's definitely utilized.

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Speaker 1: It's a one of the greatest tools we have now,

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Speaker 1: especially like you said, during COVID. So when did you

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Speaker 1: first start using When did you first start using social media?

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Speaker 1: When did you first start using d M s UM.

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Speaker 1: I was a little late to the social media game

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Speaker 1: in general. UM. I remember in high school when it

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Speaker 1: kind of when Instagram kind of came out. Um, I

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Speaker 1: was a little late to the party. Actually a girlfriend

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Speaker 1: got me into it, Um, so we could I blame

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Speaker 1: her for all the d ns and thousands of dms

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Speaker 1: I've sent every ten years, but um, yeah, it's a

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Speaker 1: little late to the game. And then you know, before

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Speaker 1: before my first show, The bachelorreat, Um, I wasn't doing bad.

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Speaker 1: It's not like five or six thousand followers. And for

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Speaker 1: you know, a nobody that's right right when it starts

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Speaker 1: that it comes out. I didn't think that was too bad. Um. However,

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Speaker 1: they take your phone on the bacheloreat so you have

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Speaker 1: no contact, no internet, no TV kind of that. And

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Speaker 1: literally the day I turned it on on after the show,

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Speaker 1: it ended so much stuff came through, so many d

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Speaker 1: M so many new followers, so many text messages, so

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Speaker 1: many emails. My phone crashed on my seventeen hour flight

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Speaker 1: home from Thailand, two and a half months of not

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Speaker 1: having it and then getting my heart broken the day before,

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Speaker 1: so all I wanted to do was look at all

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Speaker 1: the nice messages my mom sent, my friends and family sent,

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Speaker 1: and then it crashed. So Um. Anyways, I got home

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Speaker 1: and I turned it on and had like four hundred

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Speaker 1: and twenty thousand followers over essentially overnight from me right

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Speaker 1: because I hadn't seen my phone since it was at

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Speaker 1: five thousand, So it was life changing. Wow, What was

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Speaker 1: I feeling like going from five thousand to four twenty

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Speaker 1: was it? Like? What did you feel at that moment?

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Speaker 1: It's just astronomical. I felt I felt nice about it.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I felt like I had an influence on people.

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Speaker 1: I felt like people appreciated, you know, what was going

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Speaker 1: through what I was going through um on the show.

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Speaker 1: And it was actually a conversation that Joejoe and I

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Speaker 1: had on my season, UM during Hometowns we were out

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Speaker 1: in the boat. She's like, you know, your life's gonna

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Speaker 1: change after this. You're gonna be you know, picked and

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Speaker 1: pulled in every different direction, and you know, if we

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Speaker 1: end up together, you're gonna have to, you know, stay

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Speaker 1: focused on what we've got here because it can be

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Speaker 1: a deterrent and it can be uh, you know, distraction,

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Speaker 1: distraction UM. And I kind of took her word for it,

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Speaker 1: took her advice. She had been through the prior season

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Speaker 1: with Ben Higgins and experienced at all exactly what was

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Speaker 1: going on, so UM that kind of opened my eyes

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Speaker 1: to like, yeah, this is actually gonna change a little bit,

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Speaker 1: because in that moment while we're filming, I had no idea.

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Speaker 1: I can't see my Instagram. I don't know what's going on.

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Speaker 1: But um, it is a huge distraction. It is very

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Speaker 1: even to this day, you can get stuck down the

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Speaker 1: hole and just let's talk about that. So, so can

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Speaker 1: you unpack that for me and for our listeners. So

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Speaker 1: just to give you a little bit of my history,

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Speaker 1: I ever had social media until I was dating. Um,

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Speaker 1: I got social media at the end of I think

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Speaker 1: or start somewhere in the late bloomer. Also, yeah, so

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Speaker 1: I was dating. So I never had history of being

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Speaker 1: single and sliding into d m s And how can

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Speaker 1: I use social media in the dating world? So let

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Speaker 1: me unless I want to have you unpack how this

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Speaker 1: became sort of a tool for connection and opportunity for

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Speaker 1: you in the dating world. Well, in my mind, uh,

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Speaker 1: you know, even going down to posting a photo and

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Speaker 1: getting a thousand comments, like the first few weeks, I

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Speaker 1: was a guy that like tried to respond to all

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Speaker 1: of them. So I just got my heart broke in

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Speaker 1: and you know I did the things right that the

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Speaker 1: guy who won didn't necessarily do asking her parents for permission,

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Speaker 1: all that nonsense, and so half the message I was

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Speaker 1: getting was like your mom raised you so well, or

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Speaker 1: like my mom's Facebook had like thousands of new messages,

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Speaker 1: was like your son was such a things you raised

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Speaker 1: him well, good job. So it's being used a lot

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Speaker 1: for that, and when when you try to respond every comment,

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Speaker 1: it's not gonna go well, especially like fresh off the

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Speaker 1: show like that, you get thousand comments today and not

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Speaker 1: all of them are good. And I had to I

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Speaker 1: had to keep my comments notifications on because Britney x

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Speaker 1: O x O would be like your son is a loser,

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Speaker 1: and my mom would be like block her right now,

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Speaker 1: I'm like, mom, chill like people. I mean, one's gonna

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Speaker 1: hate me. But when when it relates to the d M,

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Speaker 1: you know, I did the same thing. I tried to

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Speaker 1: respond to most solve them because they're usually very supportive messages.

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Speaker 1: It's like I watched your whole season. You were my favorite,

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Speaker 1: and I had a few uh short you know how

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Speaker 1: you can do a little command short text. I can

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Speaker 1: type like tw and it auto correct all the way.

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Speaker 1: I had like a thank you one where it was

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Speaker 1: like I type and thank you, but it was type

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Speaker 1: of whole paragraph that was like, thank you for your support,

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Speaker 1: really appreciate it, watched me in the future do all that. Um,

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Speaker 1: and I was just copy and pasting to a lot

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Speaker 1: of these people. But don't get me wrong, if one

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Speaker 1: of them was you know, a smoke show and you

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Speaker 1: know had a decent, decent, decent profile going on, I'd

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Speaker 1: add a little personal touch in there and maybe conversation

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Speaker 1: going But um, that's kind of how it all started.

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Speaker 1: And I don't I guess it's similar to like if

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Speaker 1: you get on a dating app for the first time,

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Speaker 1: you get excited, you just start swiping through and you

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Speaker 1: end up the hunter matches. You're like, well, which one

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Speaker 1: do I talk to? And you get lost in all

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Speaker 1: the small talk. So um, trying to focus on the

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Speaker 1: ones that you know aren't across the country in the

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Speaker 1: Ukraine that are a model that you're never gonna meet

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Speaker 1: in your life, but the ones that are from your

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Speaker 1: hometown are like so you kind of pick and choose.

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Speaker 1: But um, yeah, getting off the show that it was,

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Speaker 1: it was comical for me and my me and my

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Speaker 1: buddies at a group about four friends that followed me

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Speaker 1: around for about two months dofter the show, and it

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Speaker 1: was just non stop in the airports, take a picture,

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Speaker 1: then sliding in the d M s being like, was

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Speaker 1: that you I just saw you at Gate twenty three A.

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Speaker 1: It was like yeah, um okay, So how do you

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Speaker 1: process all of that? Because you come out with The Bachelor, um,

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Speaker 1: where you've represented yourself very well, You're proud of how

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Speaker 1: you represented yourself, and now there's just an overwhelming flood

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Speaker 1: of attention on Mr Robbie Hayes d MS hundred a day. Um,

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Speaker 1: how does somebody, how does somebody stand out so out

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Speaker 1: of the hundred that come in? What are what are

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Speaker 1: your where are your eyes drawn to? And how does

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Speaker 1: somebody get that personalized response for me? You? So, like

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Speaker 1: I said, um in the in the beginning, and I

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Speaker 1: was just kind of firing off trying to be respectful

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Speaker 1: back to the people who are being respectful to me.

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Speaker 1: You know, if you're thanking me for giving a good show,

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Speaker 1: I want to thank you for supporting it. Um And

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Speaker 1: I love that man. Yeah. And and at the time,

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Speaker 1: like right then, six months after I wasn't really looking

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Speaker 1: for relationship, you know, I almost got engaged. I was

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Speaker 1: having fun. People wanted to take pictures with me. And

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Speaker 1: at my college when I go back for games, I

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Speaker 1: was getting cornered and grocery stores and airports and Starbucks,

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Speaker 1: you know, all the basic white girl places. Um, and

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Speaker 1: I was just kind of going through it. But nowadays

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Speaker 1: there are things I look for and I don't really

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Speaker 1: respond to everyone because I know that people can kind

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Speaker 1: of hold onto conversations and once I say I thank

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Speaker 1: you for the support and all that, then they're like, well,

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Speaker 1: how about we get a drink And I'm like, well,

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Speaker 1: I see where this is going now. Um. But there

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Speaker 1: are a few things I look for. One definitely is

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Speaker 1: you know, I want to see some type of pictures

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Speaker 1: with their family. Um. You know, families first. For me,

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Speaker 1: it's what I hold highest above work, above anything else,

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Speaker 1: is my family. I'm the oldest of five and we're

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Speaker 1: all within six years. So like I'm thirty one, my

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Speaker 1: younger sisters twenty four, super close family. And there's none

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Speaker 1: of your friends or there's none of your families, that's

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Speaker 1: a red flag to me. Um. I also really like

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Speaker 1: the ones that are creative, Like I'll never forget I

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Speaker 1: had a girl sent me a picture of a bed,

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Speaker 1: a coffee table, and a ask just basic pictures, random

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Speaker 1: like product photos, not even in a room. And the

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Speaker 1: only message she sent was I just slid in or

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Speaker 1: I just moved into your d M. And I was like,

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Speaker 1: I get it, okay, Yeah, I'll respond to the clever

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Speaker 1: ones like that, the ones that I make me giggle

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Speaker 1: or catch my attention. Um, but also location matters, you know,

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Speaker 1: like there could be a beautiful woman from Russia that

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Speaker 1: wants to meet me, but like when am I gonna

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Speaker 1: be I could go visit. Don't get me wrong, I

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Speaker 1: travel ton, but I'm not gonna go over there and

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Speaker 1: settle down. You're probably not gonna come over here and

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Speaker 1: settle down. And how am I gonna introduce you to

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Speaker 1: my family? And a lot of people think I'm crazy

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Speaker 1: in the sense that I will introduce you to my family,

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Speaker 1: you know, a month after I've known you. A lot

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Speaker 1: of people wait until a year and a half or

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Speaker 1: a year until they're comfortable and they know you're the one.

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Speaker 1: I want to get you inspart of my family, to

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Speaker 1: see if you can hang, to see if you can

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Speaker 1: deal without a loud your art, and to see if

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Speaker 1: you mash if you don't I'm wasting my time. I'm

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Speaker 1: not going someone that my parents dislike just value their

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Speaker 1: opinion too much, and quite frankly, of everyone in the world,

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Speaker 1: they know me best. So what catches your attention more?

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Speaker 1: The caption or the photo in a d M. Oh,

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Speaker 1: that's that's a dangerous question. There's limitless abilities with the

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Speaker 1: with the with the photo or like even just even

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Speaker 1: just like say the person's profile photo, that's definitely the

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Speaker 1: caption that it's definitely the message they send. If it's clever,

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Speaker 1: it's heart felt. Um, you know, if they're not too

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Speaker 1: aggressive off the bat, then I know that you kind

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Speaker 1: of have a good heart, You're you're probably really interested

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Speaker 1: in it, and we can talk through see what happens. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I think we've talked about this many times, especially since

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Speaker 1: COVID on this show. Um, that the world is really

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Speaker 1: waking up and getting a lot better at at interpreting

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Speaker 1: digital energy. So in those d M platforms that are

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Speaker 1: coming out with giving you different ways to express it, right,

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Speaker 1: and so in your d MS you can tell like, wow,

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Speaker 1: this person just wrote one sentence, but it feels very genuine,

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Speaker 1: it feels very SCAREDI or this person wrote one sentence,

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Speaker 1: and this is just like this person just wants to

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Speaker 1: hook up. You know what helps with that is when

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Speaker 1: someone sends something like, Hey, I really enjoyed you on

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Speaker 1: the show. I loved how you put your heart out there. Um,

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Speaker 1: don't worry about the breakup. You'll find the right person.

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Speaker 1: Because it almost makes me feel like they've been through it.

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Speaker 1: It's like it's like they're they're there by my side,

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Speaker 1: patty my shoulder, you know, scratching my back, letting me

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Speaker 1: know that you know what you went through, we've been

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Speaker 1: through you'll make it through it. Stuff like that gets

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Speaker 1: me too when it when they kind of related to themselves.

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Speaker 1: It's not in a conceited way or an arrogant way,

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Speaker 1: but like you know, I had to go through this

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Speaker 1: as well, You'll get through this just like I did. Yeah. Um,

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Speaker 1: what are some of your if I asked you to

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Speaker 1: tell like one d M story, M, is there something

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Speaker 1: that's just so wild that pops off in your brain

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Speaker 1: like this is the funniest DM story or this was

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Speaker 1: the worst DM story. Is there anything notable from your

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Speaker 1: d M history that's just completely outrageous that our listeners

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Speaker 1: have to hear. I mean, there's not like an elaborate

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Speaker 1: I would say, d M story. I get a lot

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Speaker 1: of weird stuff. Um, you know, I guess one elaborate

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Speaker 1: story that actually ended up being a date his girl

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Speaker 1: in l A. Um, and she slid in and I

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Speaker 1: was like, sure, yeah, it's like I'm I live in

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Speaker 1: l a. Let's go out. That'd be easy. We'll catch

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Speaker 1: a beer and a drunk at sunset. Um. I went

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Speaker 1: and sat down with three dinner and literally ten minutes

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Speaker 1: in she was like, so are you gonna post us here?

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Speaker 1: And as I yeah, I'll get around to this restaurant's nice,

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Speaker 1: it's scenic, blah blah blah. Forty five minutes in, have

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Speaker 1: you posted us here yet? I'm like, all right, I

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Speaker 1: know why you're here now, followers and people to see

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Speaker 1: me with you. You want to try to catch some

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Speaker 1: of my following? Check please? Yeah that happened twice now

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Speaker 1: actually in l A. Yeah. Um. But as far as

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Speaker 1: elaborate stories, I like like the small world stories like

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Speaker 1: I'll get a message from a cousin I had no

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Speaker 1: idea I had, And we'll go into this long diet

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Speaker 1: tribe about how like I saw them at my parents,

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Speaker 1: my grandparents fiftieth anniversary. But I was, you know, twelve,

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Speaker 1: so I didn't really remember meeting them. But we have

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Speaker 1: these distant cousins and all these weird connections or like

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Speaker 1: mom's ex boyfriends from college whose now wife's love the show,

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Speaker 1: or like husband your mom back in Like yeah, people

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Speaker 1: just want to find a way to connect with you. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but like that's still a cool story. You know, I'd

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Speaker 1: be like, oh, that's kind of the guy that I

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Speaker 1: never would have heard about that my mom dated before

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Speaker 1: my dad. It's like stuff, it's not just you're hot

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Speaker 1: fire flame fire flame kissing moji. Um, okay, let's call

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Speaker 1: that direction, um, because undoubtedly you have got them and

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Speaker 1: I'm not asking you to disclose them, but um, what

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Speaker 1: is truthfully, Robbie, what where does your mind go when

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Speaker 1: you get like a hot Steavie photo on a d M?

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Speaker 1: And maybe it maybe changes with stages of life, right like,

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Speaker 1: but like you come out of the batchelor and you

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Speaker 1: get a hot Stevy DM like a photo you're probably

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Speaker 1: responding to that. I was getting a new today really

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Speaker 1: from from guys and girls with a public accounts, so

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Speaker 1: I couldn't keep them from coming out. But really, and

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Speaker 1: still to this to this day. I get one or

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Speaker 1: two a week. But um, you know it goes back

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Speaker 1: to the same process. I'll go look and see. You know,

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Speaker 1: if if the only thing she's posting is you know,

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Speaker 1: those type of those I'm not bringing you home the mom,

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Speaker 1: that's a no brainer. You're gonna be wearing cut off

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Speaker 1: booty shorts and she's gonna be like, what the hell

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Speaker 1: are you doing? Yeah, So, um, it depends. There can

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Speaker 1: be tasteful ones, you know that. There can be uh,

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Speaker 1: there also can be some that are that are dirty

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Speaker 1: that you're just like, wow, like, hey, let's hang out

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Speaker 1: once and then uh go our separate ways. But um, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean that happens very often. And I will say,

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Speaker 1: from a bird's dive view of those images come through

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Speaker 1: you don't want to see, I would probably agree with

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Speaker 1: you on that. Um. Here's here's another I heard this from.

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Speaker 1: Actually was a friend of mine. She used to work

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Speaker 1: on our show. Um, she was wondering how to how

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Speaker 1: to separate yourself in the crowd of the d ms.

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Speaker 1: So let's say you're getting you come out of the Bachelor,

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Speaker 1: You're getting hundreds of d M a day. Um, she

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Speaker 1: said one way to separate yourself and to just add

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Speaker 1: on to just sending you a d M because if

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Speaker 1: you don't have a verified blue check mark, it's tough

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Speaker 1: to get if you just clawed against everybody else, right,

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Speaker 1: but she would said, she said. Another good way is

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Speaker 1: then to follow up with like three to five photo likes?

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Speaker 1: Do do do do on photos so that in your

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Speaker 1: timeline thing there you'll see like this person's like, you'll

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Speaker 1: see her phone her name five straight. Yeah, just to

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Speaker 1: catch your eye for a second. Do people do that

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Speaker 1: with you? Do you notice that works? I noticed that

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Speaker 1: works now. Um. Back in the day, when you know,

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Speaker 1: hundreds and hundreds were coming in, I wouldn't have seen it.

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Speaker 1: You know, it's too much getting ten thousand likes of photo.

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Speaker 1: Back in the day it was eighty thousand likes of

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Speaker 1: photo and you're just not seeing it, um, especially the

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Speaker 1: likes the d m s. Like I said, back then,

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Speaker 1: i'd go through them, make sure I didn't know them

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Speaker 1: or if they were to response, I respond, um. But yeah, nowadays,

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Speaker 1: uh more so what catches my attention would be responding

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Speaker 1: to a story. As I think in some situations. You know,

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Speaker 1: how the d m s have a like, well, now

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00:18:15,080 --> 00:18:17,920
Speaker 1: they have one folder, it's your inbox, which is divided

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Speaker 1: up into primary and general General, and then you have

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Speaker 1: the other requests. Yeah. So um, I think if you

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Speaker 1: respond to stories, it's gets requests and goes straight to

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Speaker 1: your inbox, and so if if you follow them, if

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Speaker 1: I follow them, yeah, I get those notifications a lot better.

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Speaker 1: And I've found that people get responses quicker because they

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Speaker 1: do that, and so I'll do that as well. I

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Speaker 1: respond to stories instead, just because it's also relative. It's

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Speaker 1: not some weird dude with blue check mark slide in

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Speaker 1: your d M being like, hey you're gorgeous. Well you

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Speaker 1: probably knew that, that's why you're posting all these beautiful photos.

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Speaker 1: But responding to a d M or responding to a story,

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Speaker 1: and you know, relating to something like they're in Ibiza.

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Speaker 1: I loved when I went back in two thousand seventeen.

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Speaker 1: You know, yeah, I find do you try and find

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Speaker 1: common ground with that approach? Then yeah, common ground is key.

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Speaker 1: I I think, you know, if someone says something that

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00:19:10,640 --> 00:19:12,159
Speaker 1: I have no idea they're talking about, I'm probably not

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Speaker 1: gonna respond. But if they say something like I said earlier,

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Speaker 1: like oh I went to high school with your mom.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna be like, no way, and then I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: call my mom and be like, hey, I met Harriet.

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Speaker 1: You know. Yeah, um, how direct? How direct are most

365
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Speaker 1: people with you? And how direct are you with most

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Speaker 1: people with as far as your intentions of the d M.

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Speaker 1: I mean, it's for directing a sense of letting them

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Speaker 1: know like what I'm looking for, Yeah, somewhat Yeah, Like

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Speaker 1: I mean, if somebody sends you a naked photo, that's

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Speaker 1: pretty direct there, like, okay they are, I'm not gonna respond.

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Speaker 1: I'm just gonna probably like double hearted and like it

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Speaker 1: and hope they said or or they know I'm seeing it.

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Speaker 1: But I'm not guilty by responding because I get a

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Speaker 1: lot of them, and honestly, most of the accounts that

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00:20:01,960 --> 00:20:06,800
Speaker 1: send them are like two week old accounts. They followed

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Speaker 1: ten people, and they're all blue check marks, and they're

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00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:15,280
Speaker 1: probably a dude behind the pictures of these girls that yeah,

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00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:19,000
Speaker 1: you're super careful. I mean, I already have, you know,

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Speaker 1: pr issues with the whole sex tape issue that came out,

380
00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:25,440
Speaker 1: and I don't need you know, some other dude blackmailing

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Speaker 1: me because I got excited about fake photos he sent,

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Speaker 1: So I'm very cautious. It is a big revenue stream

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Speaker 1: for me. I don't want to lose that. I don't

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Speaker 1: want to lose any credibility on it, and my fans

385
00:20:39,040 --> 00:20:42,720
Speaker 1: and followers deserved that. When was the I love that,

386
00:20:42,760 --> 00:20:46,119
Speaker 1: I love that approach? Um, when was the last DM

387
00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:52,840
Speaker 1: that you sent? Oh? Like a deliberate, deliberate slide I

388
00:20:52,880 --> 00:21:00,320
Speaker 1: remember was Miranda from Game of Rooms. Miranda from Game

389
00:21:00,359 --> 00:21:03,560
Speaker 1: of Thrones. Her name is actually like Charlotte Hope. She

390
00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:06,800
Speaker 1: only has like a like twenty dollars, but I thought

391
00:21:06,840 --> 00:21:09,399
Speaker 1: she was gorgeous. She's a little art c for me,

392
00:21:09,760 --> 00:21:13,280
Speaker 1: but I'm in l A. She's probably in l A sometimes.

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00:21:13,280 --> 00:21:15,360
Speaker 1: So I slid in. It's like all right in my room,

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00:21:15,800 --> 00:21:17,480
Speaker 1: and I will do fun stuff like we got a

395
00:21:17,480 --> 00:21:21,000
Speaker 1: basketball whoping back back of the house and I'll film

396
00:21:21,119 --> 00:21:23,240
Speaker 1: him and he'll be like, all right in a stone.

397
00:21:23,320 --> 00:21:25,560
Speaker 1: If I make this shot, you have to go to

398
00:21:25,640 --> 00:21:29,160
Speaker 1: Trader Joe's with me and shot next weekend and we'll

399
00:21:29,160 --> 00:21:30,639
Speaker 1: obviously do it un till he makes a shot and

400
00:21:30,680 --> 00:21:33,680
Speaker 1: then we'll send the video. Like fun stuff like that,

401
00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:36,560
Speaker 1: or like like I just said, will slide in and

402
00:21:36,600 --> 00:21:39,560
Speaker 1: be like Hey, I'm going up to Trader Joe's this afternoon.

403
00:21:39,560 --> 00:21:40,960
Speaker 1: I was wondering if you need anything, I can pick

404
00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:43,720
Speaker 1: it up. And it's like like you already know the

405
00:21:43,760 --> 00:21:48,480
Speaker 1: person type of thing. Yeah, I like it. So for

406
00:21:48,680 --> 00:21:52,520
Speaker 1: our for our male listeners of the show, can you

407
00:21:52,560 --> 00:21:55,760
Speaker 1: give us like more tips like that, some of your

408
00:21:55,840 --> 00:21:58,200
Speaker 1: best tips and tricks. I'm sliding into the d O

409
00:21:58,680 --> 00:22:01,560
Speaker 1: what you have, what you have seen found to like

410
00:22:01,680 --> 00:22:04,800
Speaker 1: work really well and get a response. I'd be I'd

411
00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:09,040
Speaker 1: either be clever and well spoken, or I would relate

412
00:22:09,320 --> 00:22:12,399
Speaker 1: to something. Go look at their past ten posts. If

413
00:22:12,440 --> 00:22:16,160
Speaker 1: they've been somewhere you've been, bring it up. Um, maybe

414
00:22:16,200 --> 00:22:18,879
Speaker 1: you know something a bar that they missed that they

415
00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:20,840
Speaker 1: didn't go to, and they'll thank you for it and

416
00:22:20,880 --> 00:22:25,919
Speaker 1: then you'll be friends. Um, do not do oh I would.

417
00:22:26,640 --> 00:22:29,640
Speaker 1: I would drag my private parts through a mile glass

418
00:22:29,720 --> 00:22:32,320
Speaker 1: just to sit back dinner with you. Like, don't do

419
00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:37,439
Speaker 1: just fireflame emojis. Don't do the eyeballs. I will spoil

420
00:22:37,520 --> 00:22:40,600
Speaker 1: you rotten if you are my sugar baby, don't do

421
00:22:40,800 --> 00:22:44,560
Speaker 1: that stuff. That's what about? What about pickup lines? Pick

422
00:22:44,600 --> 00:22:49,199
Speaker 1: up lines gonna be fun? You know? If if I

423
00:22:49,240 --> 00:22:52,000
Speaker 1: haven't heard them. If I've heard them and they're old,

424
00:22:52,200 --> 00:22:54,680
Speaker 1: then it's like try harder. But if I haven't heard them,

425
00:22:54,760 --> 00:22:56,800
Speaker 1: like I said, they moved in the d M one.

426
00:22:56,840 --> 00:23:00,320
Speaker 1: I love that I was. I respect that responded back.

427
00:23:01,040 --> 00:23:02,680
Speaker 1: I have no idea who it was, never mat her,

428
00:23:02,760 --> 00:23:05,440
Speaker 1: but I liked it and she got a response out

429
00:23:05,480 --> 00:23:10,600
Speaker 1: of it. So something that stands out. I know what

430
00:23:10,600 --> 00:23:12,200
Speaker 1: I do I have. I have a lot of girls

431
00:23:12,240 --> 00:23:15,000
Speaker 1: that saw me back in the day, cross paths with me,

432
00:23:15,080 --> 00:23:17,080
Speaker 1: whether it's at my front house for a football game,

433
00:23:17,359 --> 00:23:20,680
Speaker 1: going back to school, or the grocery store or at

434
00:23:20,680 --> 00:23:23,320
Speaker 1: a bar where I did appearance in eaton greet and

435
00:23:23,400 --> 00:23:25,679
Speaker 1: you know, like two years later later, they'll get that

436
00:23:25,720 --> 00:23:30,040
Speaker 1: notification two years ago on this day you did, and

437
00:23:30,080 --> 00:23:32,920
Speaker 1: a lot of them resend it and being a nice

438
00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:34,719
Speaker 1: meeting you hope you're doing well. And I like that

439
00:23:34,800 --> 00:23:37,560
Speaker 1: too because it's like it puts me back in that

440
00:23:37,640 --> 00:23:40,480
Speaker 1: time where people like wanted to meet me, wanted to

441
00:23:40,520 --> 00:23:43,159
Speaker 1: take pictures with me. We're paying money for tickets to

442
00:23:43,400 --> 00:23:46,479
Speaker 1: events that I was hosting. It's like you still you know,

443
00:23:46,520 --> 00:23:48,600
Speaker 1: you still follow me, you still support me after all

444
00:23:48,640 --> 00:23:51,320
Speaker 1: these years, everything I've been through, and that will get

445
00:23:51,320 --> 00:23:55,240
Speaker 1: a response. So there's there's certain things, more heartfelt things,

446
00:23:55,280 --> 00:23:59,960
Speaker 1: more relatable things, rather than I'd rock your world rap

447
00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:07,080
Speaker 1: like a lot of Um, what's one thing you would

448
00:24:07,119 --> 00:24:12,359
Speaker 1: really caution caution people about sending d m s because

449
00:24:12,560 --> 00:24:15,639
Speaker 1: it can be fun and playful, but there's also a

450
00:24:15,760 --> 00:24:17,720
Speaker 1: dark side to it too. What's one thing you would

451
00:24:17,760 --> 00:24:21,320
Speaker 1: caution people want make sure they're not in a relationship.

452
00:24:22,160 --> 00:24:24,159
Speaker 1: So I've sent a couple of d ms in my

453
00:24:24,280 --> 00:24:26,600
Speaker 1: days that I've had to go back in a race

454
00:24:26,640 --> 00:24:29,159
Speaker 1: because I scrolled a little further down and I'm like, oh,

455
00:24:29,880 --> 00:24:31,960
Speaker 1: and a lot of these girls won't post with their

456
00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:35,480
Speaker 1: boyfriend now because they've got the influencer model thing going

457
00:24:35,480 --> 00:24:37,680
Speaker 1: on so they can't mess up their feet or yeah,

458
00:24:38,280 --> 00:24:40,720
Speaker 1: that's how to lose followers one on one, right post

459
00:24:40,760 --> 00:24:45,480
Speaker 1: with a boyfriend see you. So it's it's hard to know.

460
00:24:45,720 --> 00:24:47,320
Speaker 1: And then when you figure it out, I go in there,

461
00:24:47,320 --> 00:24:49,400
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, I'll either be like I didn't see

462
00:24:49,400 --> 00:24:52,080
Speaker 1: your boyfriend, hope you're happy, or I'll just delete the message.

463
00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:58,440
Speaker 1: So yeah, understanding makes god to okay. Um, my man,

464
00:24:58,480 --> 00:25:02,920
Speaker 1: I appreciate your time. Eddie pasked words for our community members,

465
00:25:03,160 --> 00:25:06,920
Speaker 1: male or female who are struggling to date during COVID

466
00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:11,560
Speaker 1: and want to utilize the d M game. As the

467
00:25:11,680 --> 00:25:14,919
Speaker 1: late Kobe said, shoot or shoot. You don't want to

468
00:25:14,920 --> 00:25:17,920
Speaker 1: be You don't want to be that guy that's sixty

469
00:25:17,920 --> 00:25:22,320
Speaker 1: five years old talking to his grandchildren saying, man, that

470
00:25:22,440 --> 00:25:25,360
Speaker 1: Betty low and eighth grade, all the boys wanted her.

471
00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:28,080
Speaker 1: I wish I had taken my shot because that dude,

472
00:25:28,200 --> 00:25:31,239
Speaker 1: for forty five years has been holding that regret in

473
00:25:31,320 --> 00:25:36,760
Speaker 1: him his entire life. You can say, no, I love it,

474
00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:39,000
Speaker 1: shoot your shot. Let's do it. You're gonna regret it

475
00:25:39,040 --> 00:25:41,600
Speaker 1: if you don't. Buddy, I love it. Thank you so

476
00:25:41,720 --> 00:25:45,520
Speaker 1: much for the insight. Thank you for schooling me. Um,

477
00:25:45,520 --> 00:25:50,320
Speaker 1: Where where can our listeners slide into your d M s?

478
00:25:50,320 --> 00:25:52,360
Speaker 1: Where do you hang out most of the Instagram? Facebook?

479
00:25:52,359 --> 00:25:55,440
Speaker 1: Where do you where the best? Right now? It's Robert

480
00:25:55,480 --> 00:25:59,240
Speaker 1: Hunter eighty nine. Um, yeah, that that's the best place

481
00:25:59,280 --> 00:26:02,720
Speaker 1: to get at me. Awesome, buddy. Okay, Well I'm gonna

482
00:26:02,920 --> 00:26:08,120
Speaker 1: slide in there as well and just say thank you. Yeah, yeah,

483
00:26:08,359 --> 00:26:11,520
Speaker 1: I appreciate it. Robbie, You're the man. Um. Good luck

484
00:26:11,560 --> 00:26:14,399
Speaker 1: to you on your journey. And then if you have

485
00:26:14,520 --> 00:26:17,679
Speaker 1: any like, if any come in from this episode that

486
00:26:17,720 --> 00:26:19,840
Speaker 1: are just hilarious. Please send them to me, and then, well,

487
00:26:20,400 --> 00:26:23,840
Speaker 1: how many think podcast over? Everyone listening start setting them in.

488
00:26:23,920 --> 00:26:26,359
Speaker 1: Well we'll hold a little competition. Maybe they'll give away.

489
00:26:26,880 --> 00:26:29,360
Speaker 1: See I did, I did that online. I posted stories today.

490
00:26:29,359 --> 00:26:31,440
Speaker 1: I said, Hey, I'm doing a podcast about d M

491
00:26:31,520 --> 00:26:34,920
Speaker 1: s um sliding into d M, So show me how

492
00:26:35,040 --> 00:26:37,960
Speaker 1: you operate world, How do you guys slide into d M.

493
00:26:38,160 --> 00:26:40,119
Speaker 1: Not that I'm looking for them, I'm not looking to

494
00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:42,600
Speaker 1: get asked out in that way, just for research for

495
00:26:42,640 --> 00:26:47,200
Speaker 1: this podcast and share funny, funny examples of it. So, um,

496
00:26:47,240 --> 00:26:51,879
Speaker 1: it's social media little is there an account in the

497
00:26:51,960 --> 00:26:54,840
Speaker 1: d M that they just post shots or something like that? Dude,

498
00:26:54,840 --> 00:26:57,560
Speaker 1: you should start it down in the d M and

499
00:26:57,720 --> 00:27:00,680
Speaker 1: just post shots. I'd be surprised it through as an account,

500
00:27:00,920 --> 00:27:02,480
Speaker 1: but that'd be that'd be funny. You get a lot

501
00:27:02,520 --> 00:27:05,640
Speaker 1: of pretty crazy submissions. Yeah, there's gotta be some fun

502
00:27:05,680 --> 00:27:08,479
Speaker 1: stuff in there. Um, Robbie, my brother, I appreciate you,

503
00:27:08,920 --> 00:27:11,600
Speaker 1: um being well, stay safe and thank you for sharing

504
00:27:11,760 --> 00:27:14,520
Speaker 1: your d M insight. Thank you guys for having me.

505
00:27:14,960 --> 00:27:24,439
Speaker 1: Cheers buddy. See ye okay, So that was Robbie Hayes

506
00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:27,520
Speaker 1: giving us the male perspective on the d m S

507
00:27:28,160 --> 00:27:32,600
Speaker 1: and now we have maybe the best dm or in

508
00:27:32,640 --> 00:27:34,840
Speaker 1: the history of d m s. I'm just saying that

509
00:27:34,840 --> 00:27:37,520
Speaker 1: because you're my friend. We have one of the most

510
00:27:37,640 --> 00:27:40,800
Speaker 1: followed golfers in all of the world, an exceptional talent

511
00:27:40,880 --> 00:27:45,359
Speaker 1: and beautiful lady, and an Instagram phenomen page sporadic with

512
00:27:45,480 --> 00:27:48,000
Speaker 1: us page. How are you girl? Good? Thanks for having

513
00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:50,040
Speaker 1: me back on I mean, we did thirst traps and

514
00:27:50,119 --> 00:27:52,800
Speaker 1: might as well sliding dms. Now you know what, you

515
00:27:52,840 --> 00:27:54,320
Speaker 1: know what I love is every time you're on the show,

516
00:27:54,359 --> 00:27:56,199
Speaker 1: we just have so much fun. We get to do

517
00:27:56,240 --> 00:27:57,840
Speaker 1: a show on thirst traps and new we're doing a

518
00:27:57,880 --> 00:28:02,119
Speaker 1: show on on sliding into m both things that I

519
00:28:02,200 --> 00:28:04,919
Speaker 1: was never involved in before, and now you've because of

520
00:28:04,960 --> 00:28:06,960
Speaker 1: you and knowing you, You've got me involved in them.

521
00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:11,040
Speaker 1: So I appreciate you getting me out of my shell. Page. Well,

522
00:28:11,040 --> 00:28:12,879
Speaker 1: that's what I'm here for. And it's the process. You

523
00:28:13,080 --> 00:28:15,680
Speaker 1: get a thirst trap first, and then people are sliding

524
00:28:15,720 --> 00:28:17,600
Speaker 1: into your d m s and it you know, it's

525
00:28:17,600 --> 00:28:20,040
Speaker 1: it's it works, It's just out's working. Is that is

526
00:28:20,080 --> 00:28:22,880
Speaker 1: this is the thirst trap kind of like the gateway

527
00:28:22,960 --> 00:28:25,719
Speaker 1: drug and it's a very slippery slope. After that, all

528
00:28:25,720 --> 00:28:27,280
Speaker 1: of a sudden it's d m S and then all

529
00:28:27,320 --> 00:28:31,040
Speaker 1: of a sudden, I find myself sending nudes. What I'll

530
00:28:31,080 --> 00:28:34,919
Speaker 1: be on probably for that one too, so you'll be

531
00:28:35,000 --> 00:28:37,800
Speaker 1: my therapist like, oh page, I did it. Oh god,

532
00:28:37,880 --> 00:28:41,440
Speaker 1: it happened. Yeah, I'm like the devil on your shoulder,

533
00:28:41,720 --> 00:28:45,280
Speaker 1: like do it do yeah? Probably? Um okay, So we

534
00:28:45,320 --> 00:28:47,760
Speaker 1: want to the goal of this show one is always

535
00:28:47,760 --> 00:28:49,280
Speaker 1: just to have fun. So I love having you on

536
00:28:49,320 --> 00:28:52,200
Speaker 1: because we always have so much fun too. During COVID

537
00:28:52,880 --> 00:28:55,800
Speaker 1: people our community are how many think listeners are are

538
00:28:55,880 --> 00:28:58,680
Speaker 1: finding that really the only way they're able to still

539
00:28:58,720 --> 00:29:02,040
Speaker 1: have connection and possible meet new people is through d MS.

540
00:29:02,840 --> 00:29:04,280
Speaker 1: So we wanted to do a deep dive into the

541
00:29:04,400 --> 00:29:06,840
Speaker 1: art of sliding into d m s and then also

542
00:29:07,360 --> 00:29:12,520
Speaker 1: receiving of d ms. Um So, in your history, what

543
00:29:12,640 --> 00:29:15,560
Speaker 1: have let's let's even start with your your Instagram history

544
00:29:15,560 --> 00:29:18,000
Speaker 1: and your social media history. When did you start using

545
00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:20,360
Speaker 1: social media and when did you start using d MS?

546
00:29:21,720 --> 00:29:24,440
Speaker 1: I mean ever since I got a phone, you just

547
00:29:24,480 --> 00:29:28,040
Speaker 1: would have social media and direct messaging is just a

548
00:29:28,080 --> 00:29:30,280
Speaker 1: way to communicate with people. So it's never something that

549
00:29:30,360 --> 00:29:32,320
Speaker 1: was like weird for me. It was almost like sending

550
00:29:32,320 --> 00:29:34,720
Speaker 1: a tax It just feels very normal and natural. I

551
00:29:34,760 --> 00:29:38,640
Speaker 1: will say now, or when I became like a public figure,

552
00:29:39,280 --> 00:29:42,840
Speaker 1: I would never really send d MS unless it's like

553
00:29:42,920 --> 00:29:45,720
Speaker 1: to my friends. I've never really like reached out to

554
00:29:46,240 --> 00:29:49,720
Speaker 1: someone before. I've always had just people reach out to me. Um.

555
00:29:49,760 --> 00:29:53,640
Speaker 1: Just because I'm sure you know this as well. It

556
00:29:53,680 --> 00:29:56,480
Speaker 1: can be very overwhelming, like the amount of messages and

557
00:29:56,560 --> 00:29:58,440
Speaker 1: d MS that you get from people, and like as

558
00:29:58,440 --> 00:30:00,400
Speaker 1: soon as you answer one person, then you kind of

559
00:30:00,400 --> 00:30:02,520
Speaker 1: have to keep up a conversation with that person. And

560
00:30:02,560 --> 00:30:04,400
Speaker 1: so it's always like do I want to respond and

561
00:30:04,400 --> 00:30:07,360
Speaker 1: then keep up a conversation because once you respond, you

562
00:30:07,400 --> 00:30:11,840
Speaker 1: can't just not respond anymore. So it's, uh, it's it's interesting.

563
00:30:12,320 --> 00:30:15,200
Speaker 1: But I think also people realize that you have two

564
00:30:15,200 --> 00:30:18,440
Speaker 1: and a half three million followers on Instagram and and

565
00:30:19,120 --> 00:30:22,160
Speaker 1: they're not the only person in the world that you

566
00:30:22,160 --> 00:30:26,320
Speaker 1: are talking to. You're a very busy person, um, professional golfer.

567
00:30:26,400 --> 00:30:29,680
Speaker 1: You have a say that you think that. And that's

568
00:30:29,680 --> 00:30:31,680
Speaker 1: probably one thing I don't like about d m s

569
00:30:31,880 --> 00:30:34,200
Speaker 1: is when people assume that you're the only person that

570
00:30:34,240 --> 00:30:36,840
Speaker 1: they're talking to. So if someone will send a message

571
00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:39,600
Speaker 1: and then maybe a couple of days later, even a

572
00:30:39,640 --> 00:30:42,040
Speaker 1: couple of hours later, they'll send another message, like how

573
00:30:42,080 --> 00:30:44,800
Speaker 1: would you not respond to me? I want to respond,

574
00:30:44,880 --> 00:30:48,080
Speaker 1: and I'm like I'm trying, Like I can barely text

575
00:30:48,120 --> 00:30:50,400
Speaker 1: my parents back, like I'm not gonna DM me about

576
00:30:50,400 --> 00:30:54,080
Speaker 1: like my whole entire life story. Right, I can handle

577
00:30:54,120 --> 00:30:56,440
Speaker 1: on In the average day, I can handle like three

578
00:30:56,480 --> 00:30:59,400
Speaker 1: phone calls and five text messages and and then my

579
00:30:59,440 --> 00:31:01,760
Speaker 1: head blows off. And that's not even counting emails, and

580
00:31:01,800 --> 00:31:05,440
Speaker 1: that's not even counting d ms. Um. So it's just

581
00:31:05,600 --> 00:31:08,200
Speaker 1: I'm not wired to sit at a computer and type

582
00:31:08,200 --> 00:31:10,120
Speaker 1: and whatever. So like mind just backed up by have

583
00:31:10,120 --> 00:31:13,040
Speaker 1: mountains of text messages. I haven't responded. I'm just not

584
00:31:13,120 --> 00:31:15,800
Speaker 1: good at that. I'm good at FaceTime you FaceTime meet,

585
00:31:15,840 --> 00:31:17,440
Speaker 1: I'll answer because I want to see your face, because

586
00:31:17,440 --> 00:31:19,480
Speaker 1: I love people and I want to see your face.

587
00:31:19,520 --> 00:31:22,480
Speaker 1: But digital messages messages like that, I'm not that good at.

588
00:31:22,560 --> 00:31:27,120
Speaker 1: But let's dive into, um, let's dive into d m

589
00:31:27,240 --> 00:31:29,920
Speaker 1: s and how somebody might use a d M to

590
00:31:30,120 --> 00:31:33,719
Speaker 1: make a connection. So let's say, um, let's go from

591
00:31:33,760 --> 00:31:38,320
Speaker 1: the female perspective first. So there's somebody. There's somebody that

592
00:31:38,400 --> 00:31:41,640
Speaker 1: you like that a female likes a male and wants

593
00:31:41,680 --> 00:31:45,000
Speaker 1: to get this man's attention. What is a way that

594
00:31:45,080 --> 00:31:48,320
Speaker 1: you in the past or you have used, or a

595
00:31:48,400 --> 00:31:52,120
Speaker 1: way that you could advise our listeners on on sliding

596
00:31:52,160 --> 00:31:56,680
Speaker 1: into this person's d M. Yeah, well, there's usually a process.

597
00:31:56,720 --> 00:31:59,240
Speaker 1: So first you have to follow the person and then

598
00:31:59,440 --> 00:32:02,200
Speaker 1: you like I would say about three to five pictures,

599
00:32:02,280 --> 00:32:04,080
Speaker 1: usually in a row so they can see your name

600
00:32:04,160 --> 00:32:08,479
Speaker 1: pop up. And after you do that, normally that person

601
00:32:08,480 --> 00:32:11,160
Speaker 1: will then d M you and they'll just be like, hey,

602
00:32:11,200 --> 00:32:13,600
Speaker 1: what's going on. But if they don't do that, then

603
00:32:13,880 --> 00:32:17,959
Speaker 1: I would normally just say something funny. I like funny

604
00:32:18,040 --> 00:32:20,280
Speaker 1: d M s. I think that catches my attention a lot.

605
00:32:20,600 --> 00:32:23,240
Speaker 1: I hate when someone will just send like hey, or

606
00:32:23,680 --> 00:32:27,240
Speaker 1: how are you, or like what's up? I want to laugh.

607
00:32:27,320 --> 00:32:29,959
Speaker 1: I want to be entertained. I want to like have

608
00:32:30,160 --> 00:32:33,400
Speaker 1: a connection from the very start and to startart a

609
00:32:33,400 --> 00:32:35,440
Speaker 1: conversation because it's so hard when I was like hey,

610
00:32:35,480 --> 00:32:37,200
Speaker 1: and then what do you say back to that? You

611
00:32:37,200 --> 00:32:40,160
Speaker 1: know you can't do anything. So when guys DM me

612
00:32:40,440 --> 00:32:43,280
Speaker 1: and they say things that are really funny. My favorite

613
00:32:43,280 --> 00:32:46,000
Speaker 1: one is they'll send like a um emojis of different

614
00:32:46,040 --> 00:32:49,000
Speaker 1: furniture and they say, hey, sorry, just moving into your

615
00:32:49,160 --> 00:32:52,520
Speaker 1: d m s. Or they'll do one where they will

616
00:32:52,520 --> 00:32:54,720
Speaker 1: send a picture of their dog and they're like, sorry,

617
00:32:54,800 --> 00:32:58,320
Speaker 1: my dog's lost. Uh I found him in your DMS.

618
00:32:58,320 --> 00:33:03,120
Speaker 1: So like that, Yeah, like really it's really smooth, it's funny.

619
00:33:03,440 --> 00:33:06,000
Speaker 1: I had a guy once asked me, like what my

620
00:33:06,080 --> 00:33:10,240
Speaker 1: favorite soup was, but he would I didn't respond right away,

621
00:33:10,600 --> 00:33:13,200
Speaker 1: and he kept every day. It was consistent. He'd be

622
00:33:13,200 --> 00:33:17,040
Speaker 1: like chicken noodle. Uh, you just started naming like different soups.

623
00:33:17,040 --> 00:33:19,200
Speaker 1: And I finally had to respond because I was like,

624
00:33:19,240 --> 00:33:21,640
Speaker 1: this guy is so persistent. When you're so funny, it's

625
00:33:21,680 --> 00:33:24,960
Speaker 1: something that's different. UM. Usually though, like when I would

626
00:33:24,960 --> 00:33:28,120
Speaker 1: sign in someone's dm s, I'm trying to think, I mean,

627
00:33:28,360 --> 00:33:30,440
Speaker 1: just you just make it fun. Just try to catch

628
00:33:30,480 --> 00:33:33,680
Speaker 1: their attention. Maybe pick up something that's on their Instagram.

629
00:33:33,720 --> 00:33:36,800
Speaker 1: So if they were like, um fishing, then I maybe

630
00:33:37,480 --> 00:33:39,520
Speaker 1: make a funny joke about that, or if they really

631
00:33:39,560 --> 00:33:42,280
Speaker 1: like golf, you know, mentioned that, but always come in

632
00:33:42,320 --> 00:33:45,000
Speaker 1: with like a question or something like a kind of

633
00:33:45,080 --> 00:33:48,080
Speaker 1: joke just so they have like their forced to respond

634
00:33:48,080 --> 00:33:51,320
Speaker 1: at that point. It's it's interesting that that humor is

635
00:33:51,400 --> 00:33:54,600
Speaker 1: one way that catches your eye, you know, because different people,

636
00:33:54,680 --> 00:33:56,600
Speaker 1: like we just talked about Robbie. He was talking about

637
00:33:56,600 --> 00:34:02,000
Speaker 1: like anything family or friends related, anything creative, um locations.

638
00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:03,840
Speaker 1: If somebody says, hey, I live in l A as well,

639
00:34:03,960 --> 00:34:06,880
Speaker 1: he's like, oh, that catches my attention right away. Um

640
00:34:06,920 --> 00:34:09,800
Speaker 1: for you, he never mentioned, like he said, be fun,

641
00:34:09,920 --> 00:34:13,600
Speaker 1: but you really mentioned humor. So humor is one way

642
00:34:13,640 --> 00:34:18,279
Speaker 1: that you receive positive affirmation from a d M. Yeah,

643
00:34:18,360 --> 00:34:21,960
Speaker 1: I think it it comes up non threatening. If someone

644
00:34:22,200 --> 00:34:25,239
Speaker 1: will side my d M and they say, hey, I

645
00:34:25,280 --> 00:34:28,839
Speaker 1: see you're in Arizona, I'm in town. Let's grab drink

646
00:34:28,920 --> 00:34:30,960
Speaker 1: or something that's almost like, okay, how do you know

647
00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:34,239
Speaker 1: where I live? And it almost seems like they have

648
00:34:34,760 --> 00:34:39,080
Speaker 1: an agenda instead of when it's kind of fun and silly.

649
00:34:39,120 --> 00:34:41,400
Speaker 1: I'm just interested in knowing them better and then you

650
00:34:41,400 --> 00:34:43,000
Speaker 1: can kind of move into that. But I don't like

651
00:34:43,080 --> 00:34:46,360
Speaker 1: when it's too direct right off from the front. M Okay.

652
00:34:46,760 --> 00:34:49,600
Speaker 1: So because I know you've and you've shared it, you've

653
00:34:49,600 --> 00:34:51,279
Speaker 1: had a history of that. I mean, you're very open

654
00:34:51,280 --> 00:34:54,720
Speaker 1: on your podcast playing around where you talk about using

655
00:34:54,800 --> 00:34:56,680
Speaker 1: d M s and you talk about your experience on

656
00:34:56,760 --> 00:34:58,920
Speaker 1: d M s, and you talk a lot about negative

657
00:34:59,000 --> 00:35:03,520
Speaker 1: experience d M. What are some of the like worst experiences?

658
00:35:04,239 --> 00:35:07,759
Speaker 1: Um that that what some of the worst ways that

659
00:35:07,800 --> 00:35:11,719
Speaker 1: men can DM somebody something that you'd advise our male community, like,

660
00:35:11,800 --> 00:35:14,560
Speaker 1: do not do this from a female perspective. This will

661
00:35:14,600 --> 00:35:18,080
Speaker 1: never get a response. UM, I feel like this is

662
00:35:18,120 --> 00:35:22,280
Speaker 1: pretty self explanatory, and you feel I feel like guys

663
00:35:22,480 --> 00:35:26,239
Speaker 1: should just notice, but they really don't. UM, do not

664
00:35:26,360 --> 00:35:29,200
Speaker 1: send a dick picture as the very first d M

665
00:35:29,280 --> 00:35:32,440
Speaker 1: you ever sent a female. It is never ever going

666
00:35:32,520 --> 00:35:35,680
Speaker 1: to work. It's never going to work. Just don't send

667
00:35:35,840 --> 00:35:39,840
Speaker 1: a dick picture. It's not the move. It's not the move.

668
00:35:40,400 --> 00:35:44,000
Speaker 1: I hand up. I have never ever in my life

669
00:35:44,040 --> 00:35:47,680
Speaker 1: sent a dick pick. I've note. Maybe it would work

670
00:35:47,760 --> 00:35:50,040
Speaker 1: for you, though, if you just started sending like random

671
00:35:50,040 --> 00:35:55,320
Speaker 1: girls dig pictures like I'm all about it, I don't

672
00:35:55,360 --> 00:35:58,680
Speaker 1: think it work. I have a buddy, one of my

673
00:35:58,719 --> 00:36:00,560
Speaker 1: best friends in the world. Why day I was at

674
00:36:00,600 --> 00:36:03,719
Speaker 1: practice and I came out of practice and I had

675
00:36:03,719 --> 00:36:07,000
Speaker 1: a text message from him, and he's very opposite of me,

676
00:36:07,560 --> 00:36:10,640
Speaker 1: and the text message just said I sent five dick pics.

677
00:36:10,680 --> 00:36:14,799
Speaker 1: This morning and it was only nine am, and I

678
00:36:14,840 --> 00:36:17,000
Speaker 1: was like, oh my god. And then I was asked.

679
00:36:17,040 --> 00:36:19,200
Speaker 1: I was like, I've never said one. I have never

680
00:36:19,239 --> 00:36:20,840
Speaker 1: said one in my life. Still to this day, I

681
00:36:20,920 --> 00:36:23,640
Speaker 1: have never said one. Um. I was like, how do

682
00:36:23,680 --> 00:36:26,480
Speaker 1: you do it, like just just the dick or do

683
00:36:26,520 --> 00:36:28,640
Speaker 1: you put the face in it? The body? And he goes, oh,

684
00:36:28,640 --> 00:36:30,279
Speaker 1: I did the whole thing, face, all of it. And

685
00:36:30,360 --> 00:36:32,120
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my god, Like, do you realize the

686
00:36:32,120 --> 00:36:36,680
Speaker 1: internets forever? Like that's out there now? Um. But I agree.

687
00:36:36,719 --> 00:36:38,840
Speaker 1: I even I get some of those. I get some

688
00:36:38,920 --> 00:36:42,600
Speaker 1: dick pics in mind randomly. I don't know why. Um.

689
00:36:42,640 --> 00:36:46,080
Speaker 1: And it's the most startling and like abrupt thing ever.

690
00:36:46,200 --> 00:36:49,160
Speaker 1: And it's not nice to look at at all. No, No,

691
00:36:49,480 --> 00:36:52,000
Speaker 1: it's not fun. I don't want to see that. But

692
00:36:52,080 --> 00:36:54,640
Speaker 1: it's interesting though, because some of my guy friends who

693
00:36:55,080 --> 00:36:58,080
Speaker 1: are athletes or have a lot of followers women do

694
00:36:58,120 --> 00:37:01,640
Speaker 1: the opposite. They'll send nude picture but it works for them,

695
00:37:01,680 --> 00:37:04,200
Speaker 1: like that's like their go to move is just to

696
00:37:04,200 --> 00:37:06,560
Speaker 1: be like hey here, like this is what you're getting,

697
00:37:06,640 --> 00:37:09,239
Speaker 1: and they like that. So guys don't just don't do

698
00:37:09,280 --> 00:37:12,040
Speaker 1: it though, guys don't, Okay, don't do it, jest, do

699
00:37:12,160 --> 00:37:15,560
Speaker 1: not do it. You're better than that. Okay, So here's

700
00:37:15,560 --> 00:37:18,520
Speaker 1: a question for you. So you like a guy, Um,

701
00:37:18,640 --> 00:37:20,799
Speaker 1: there's somebody that's caught your tension your female. You like

702
00:37:20,920 --> 00:37:23,440
Speaker 1: a guy or a girl, whether it doesn't matter, but

703
00:37:23,520 --> 00:37:26,080
Speaker 1: how do you slide in? What's one? Is it? Is

704
00:37:26,080 --> 00:37:30,000
Speaker 1: it more text and caption based? Is it photo? Is

705
00:37:30,000 --> 00:37:32,960
Speaker 1: it trying to find something that you have common ground on.

706
00:37:33,040 --> 00:37:36,000
Speaker 1: Is it responding to a story? What's what are some

707
00:37:36,040 --> 00:37:39,320
Speaker 1: of the best ways for a female to slide into

708
00:37:39,360 --> 00:37:43,520
Speaker 1: somebody's d M. I think responding to a story is

709
00:37:44,200 --> 00:37:46,759
Speaker 1: really easy to do because you're responding to something that

710
00:37:46,760 --> 00:37:49,239
Speaker 1: they posted and that will usually strike up a conversation

711
00:37:49,960 --> 00:37:53,520
Speaker 1: or again finding common ground, finding a common interest that

712
00:37:53,560 --> 00:37:56,359
Speaker 1: you guys can talk about. But again, always open up

713
00:37:56,360 --> 00:37:58,759
Speaker 1: with a question, make it long so they have to

714
00:37:58,760 --> 00:38:02,120
Speaker 1: respond in if you actually put work into it and

715
00:38:02,120 --> 00:38:04,600
Speaker 1: like you're interested in that person, and I think guys

716
00:38:04,640 --> 00:38:06,920
Speaker 1: really appreciate that, and especially if you come in with

717
00:38:06,960 --> 00:38:09,040
Speaker 1: a little bit of humor and make it fun and

718
00:38:09,120 --> 00:38:11,279
Speaker 1: just try to stand out from what everyone else is

719
00:38:11,280 --> 00:38:13,920
Speaker 1: probably sending that person or trying to be just a

720
00:38:13,920 --> 00:38:17,879
Speaker 1: little bit different. Got you Okay, Um, what's your thoughts

721
00:38:17,880 --> 00:38:22,640
Speaker 1: on sending a photo? Should should a lady send a

722
00:38:22,640 --> 00:38:27,080
Speaker 1: photo as well or just rely on the caption? Um

723
00:38:27,200 --> 00:38:29,080
Speaker 1: mebe me. I don't know. I don't know if that's

724
00:38:29,120 --> 00:38:33,760
Speaker 1: the move right away, like first just to send a photo. Um. Sometimes,

725
00:38:33,840 --> 00:38:35,160
Speaker 1: if I'm going through my d M s and I

726
00:38:35,160 --> 00:38:37,040
Speaker 1: see that someone send a photo, I tend just kind

727
00:38:37,040 --> 00:38:40,240
Speaker 1: of skipped through it because when you're looking at someone

728
00:38:40,520 --> 00:38:43,200
Speaker 1: it like says it's like black basically so you can't

729
00:38:43,239 --> 00:38:44,960
Speaker 1: see in so you have to click on the photo,

730
00:38:45,000 --> 00:38:47,040
Speaker 1: like approve them first and then click on it. And

731
00:38:47,080 --> 00:38:48,520
Speaker 1: sometimes I don't like that. I just kind of like

732
00:38:48,560 --> 00:38:51,080
Speaker 1: skip through it. But if I see something that's funny

733
00:38:51,080 --> 00:38:53,439
Speaker 1: in text, sort like a longer text, then I'll tend

734
00:38:53,480 --> 00:38:55,560
Speaker 1: to read that first before I look at a photo.

735
00:38:56,680 --> 00:38:58,480
Speaker 1: Do you get I'm sure you do, because you post

736
00:38:58,560 --> 00:38:59,880
Speaker 1: a lot about your dog. Do you get a lot

737
00:39:00,000 --> 00:39:01,959
Speaker 1: of hey, my dog wants to play with your dog?

738
00:39:02,080 --> 00:39:05,560
Speaker 1: Kind of? Yes? Yeah, I love it. I mean I

739
00:39:05,600 --> 00:39:07,160
Speaker 1: will say if a guy sends me a picture of

740
00:39:07,160 --> 00:39:09,919
Speaker 1: his dog, chances that I'm definitely going to respond because

741
00:39:09,960 --> 00:39:12,080
Speaker 1: I just have such a soft spall in my heart

742
00:39:12,120 --> 00:39:15,000
Speaker 1: for animals. Um, so, but it's also when people like

743
00:39:15,120 --> 00:39:17,680
Speaker 1: respond to my story. And I think that's when if

744
00:39:17,719 --> 00:39:19,319
Speaker 1: you want to send a picture and have up beer

745
00:39:19,400 --> 00:39:22,480
Speaker 1: opening DM, do it in a response to someone else's

746
00:39:22,520 --> 00:39:24,560
Speaker 1: story and be like, if they they're showing their dog,

747
00:39:24,600 --> 00:39:28,040
Speaker 1: you can show your dog. But I don't know, I'm

748
00:39:28,080 --> 00:39:30,880
Speaker 1: not I'm not big on pictures. So so is that

749
00:39:30,960 --> 00:39:34,120
Speaker 1: kind of the way So for our male listens for

750
00:39:34,400 --> 00:39:37,280
Speaker 1: if somebody wants to connect with you or for a female,

751
00:39:37,360 --> 00:39:41,239
Speaker 1: is that kind of like a less intimidating, more common ground, um,

752
00:39:41,680 --> 00:39:46,719
Speaker 1: more organic way to at least open up the connection,

753
00:39:47,320 --> 00:39:50,160
Speaker 1: you know, the flow of communication. Just I love your pop,

754
00:39:50,280 --> 00:39:52,799
Speaker 1: I have a two year old lab or doodle two

755
00:39:52,920 --> 00:39:55,280
Speaker 1: or so whatever they want to say, but at least, um,

756
00:39:55,320 --> 00:39:57,960
Speaker 1: and here's a photo of them or whatever. Or we

757
00:39:58,080 --> 00:40:00,960
Speaker 1: love my dog loves chasing a phrasebee too, whatever, or

758
00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:04,200
Speaker 1: my dog makes these amazing pots as well. Um, but

759
00:40:04,280 --> 00:40:06,279
Speaker 1: at least that way, at least that way now there's

760
00:40:06,560 --> 00:40:09,879
Speaker 1: they there's more of a give and take and there's

761
00:40:09,880 --> 00:40:14,120
Speaker 1: a line of communication and maybe it's a little less

762
00:40:14,160 --> 00:40:18,480
Speaker 1: direct of a contact then coming out and like, hey,

763
00:40:18,520 --> 00:40:20,840
Speaker 1: I want to get drinks with you tonight, you know,

764
00:40:21,320 --> 00:40:23,760
Speaker 1: like you can follow, you can you can organically build

765
00:40:23,800 --> 00:40:25,279
Speaker 1: a little bit of trust and a little bit of

766
00:40:25,360 --> 00:40:30,480
Speaker 1: humor and connection prior to UM, prior to leading the

767
00:40:30,560 --> 00:40:34,080
Speaker 1: conversation where you might ultimately want it to go. Yeah,

768
00:40:34,080 --> 00:40:36,600
Speaker 1: oh yeah, if if someone asked me a question, maybe

769
00:40:36,600 --> 00:40:38,919
Speaker 1: like what kind of food doesn't need go like to eat?

770
00:40:39,120 --> 00:40:41,600
Speaker 1: Or what to what toy is he playing with? Or

771
00:40:41,600 --> 00:40:45,040
Speaker 1: if you'll ask me a question about um, the club

772
00:40:45,360 --> 00:40:47,840
Speaker 1: golf clubs that I'm playing, anything like that, Like a

773
00:40:47,960 --> 00:40:50,520
Speaker 1: question is the best way to kind of like start

774
00:40:50,560 --> 00:40:53,040
Speaker 1: up a conversation. But I will say this, I think

775
00:40:53,040 --> 00:40:56,719
Speaker 1: we put a lot of effort and thought into like

776
00:40:56,880 --> 00:41:00,720
Speaker 1: how we want to communicate with someone else. And truth

777
00:41:00,880 --> 00:41:03,200
Speaker 1: is that person that person either likes you or they

778
00:41:03,239 --> 00:41:06,120
Speaker 1: don't like you. And so you could send this amazing

779
00:41:06,400 --> 00:41:10,120
Speaker 1: dm or an amazing text and they don't respond, then like,

780
00:41:10,200 --> 00:41:13,239
Speaker 1: don't worry about it, Like you'll find another person. And

781
00:41:13,400 --> 00:41:15,600
Speaker 1: if you have your own personal style of dm NG

782
00:41:15,600 --> 00:41:18,239
Speaker 1: and maybe that is just sending hey message or maybe

783
00:41:18,239 --> 00:41:20,680
Speaker 1: it is sending a picture. There's no right or wrong

784
00:41:20,719 --> 00:41:24,759
Speaker 1: way to communicate with someone, and everyone communicates differently, and

785
00:41:24,800 --> 00:41:26,319
Speaker 1: so I think that's important to keep in mind, Like

786
00:41:26,440 --> 00:41:28,360
Speaker 1: just do what you want to do. And if the

787
00:41:28,440 --> 00:41:31,680
Speaker 1: person you're like dming doesn't like it, but don't waste

788
00:41:31,680 --> 00:41:33,719
Speaker 1: your time on it. They probably are not gonna like

789
00:41:33,800 --> 00:41:37,640
Speaker 1: you anyways, so just move on to the next person. So, okay,

790
00:41:37,880 --> 00:41:40,520
Speaker 1: follow up to that then, So let's say let's say

791
00:41:40,560 --> 00:41:42,759
Speaker 1: I d M you. I'm a guy and I d

792
00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:45,520
Speaker 1: M you and asked you a question or something and

793
00:41:45,560 --> 00:41:49,239
Speaker 1: you just responded with a statement or an answer, but

794
00:41:49,560 --> 00:41:52,360
Speaker 1: never asked me a question or anything. Follow up to

795
00:41:52,440 --> 00:41:56,000
Speaker 1: try and keep the conversation going. Should I just take

796
00:41:56,040 --> 00:41:58,640
Speaker 1: that hint? Oh, she's not into me, because if you

797
00:41:58,680 --> 00:42:02,800
Speaker 1: were somewhat sort of to me, you'd probably have something

798
00:42:02,880 --> 00:42:05,520
Speaker 1: some sort of a cliffhanger where I'd have to respond back.

799
00:42:05,600 --> 00:42:09,759
Speaker 1: So this keeps going. Yeah, not necessarily, because there are

800
00:42:09,840 --> 00:42:13,160
Speaker 1: times where I have responded back and it didn't warrant

801
00:42:13,200 --> 00:42:16,120
Speaker 1: a question to the other person. Um. But you can

802
00:42:16,200 --> 00:42:18,840
Speaker 1: usually tell if someone is interested in you, buy like

803
00:42:18,880 --> 00:42:22,040
Speaker 1: their use of emojis, if the if it's like a

804
00:42:22,040 --> 00:42:25,399
Speaker 1: one word answer compared to you know, more of death.

805
00:42:25,440 --> 00:42:27,400
Speaker 1: But if I like, if I take my time to

806
00:42:27,560 --> 00:42:30,520
Speaker 1: answer your question and it's long and I'm using emojis

807
00:42:30,520 --> 00:42:33,560
Speaker 1: and I'm probably interested in you. But if you ask

808
00:42:33,640 --> 00:42:36,640
Speaker 1: me something and I'd go yes, then no, like, don't

809
00:42:38,200 --> 00:42:43,400
Speaker 1: don't take take a hint. UM, what kind of emojis?

810
00:42:43,440 --> 00:42:46,960
Speaker 1: So I didn't know that emojis meant that somebody is

811
00:42:47,760 --> 00:42:50,239
Speaker 1: sort of into you. What kind of emojis would be

812
00:42:50,320 --> 00:42:54,520
Speaker 1: giveaways or not giveaways? Hints that like, oh, this person's

813
00:42:54,560 --> 00:42:59,560
Speaker 1: maybe digging me. Definitely the hard eye emoji. UM, kind

814
00:42:59,560 --> 00:43:04,200
Speaker 1: of like ailing emojis. There's I mean, really anything that

815
00:43:04,280 --> 00:43:06,880
Speaker 1: you use. I think just like adding something like if

816
00:43:06,920 --> 00:43:09,360
Speaker 1: a guy uses emojis to me, I really do feel

817
00:43:09,360 --> 00:43:11,359
Speaker 1: like he's interested in me because it's like, oh, he's

818
00:43:11,400 --> 00:43:13,719
Speaker 1: taking a little extra effort to put a smile at

819
00:43:13,719 --> 00:43:16,080
Speaker 1: the end of sentence or you know, the hard eye

820
00:43:16,080 --> 00:43:19,080
Speaker 1: emoji or anything like that. I think it's just really cute. Oh,

821
00:43:19,239 --> 00:43:21,759
Speaker 1: let's want to want to do an interesting experiment with

822
00:43:21,800 --> 00:43:27,840
Speaker 1: me right now, grab your phone and go to type

823
00:43:27,880 --> 00:43:34,480
Speaker 1: in um or just hit your emoji section and and

824
00:43:34,680 --> 00:43:37,280
Speaker 1: what are your top three on the top left corner

825
00:43:37,520 --> 00:43:41,359
Speaker 1: going down? What are your top three emojis currently that

826
00:43:41,440 --> 00:43:46,120
Speaker 1: you have used? For mine is the laughing, crying face,

827
00:43:47,080 --> 00:43:53,320
Speaker 1: the puppy dog I face, and then um the heart emoji.

828
00:43:54,120 --> 00:43:56,560
Speaker 1: Oh can I see him? Can you hold him up? Yeah?

829
00:43:58,440 --> 00:44:01,480
Speaker 1: The oh, I didn't know, the puppy dog, I don't

830
00:44:01,520 --> 00:44:05,280
Speaker 1: even know. I've never used that one. Oh, that one's

831
00:44:05,320 --> 00:44:09,040
Speaker 1: my favorite, Like, I love that one. So how in

832
00:44:09,080 --> 00:44:12,920
Speaker 1: what context do you use that? Um when you're like

833
00:44:12,960 --> 00:44:16,320
Speaker 1: a little sad or you say something kind of cute

834
00:44:16,680 --> 00:44:19,120
Speaker 1: like oh I miss you, and you can use like

835
00:44:19,160 --> 00:44:22,759
Speaker 1: the little sad I I love that. I'm trying to

836
00:44:22,800 --> 00:44:24,440
Speaker 1: find I don't even know where it is. I've already

837
00:44:24,560 --> 00:44:27,160
Speaker 1: seen that a O. I don't even know if I

838
00:44:27,200 --> 00:44:30,400
Speaker 1: have that one. It's like my most used one. Okay,

839
00:44:30,440 --> 00:44:32,239
Speaker 1: that's a new one for me. Okay, So here are

840
00:44:32,320 --> 00:44:36,239
Speaker 1: my top three most frequently used emojis. I have the

841
00:44:36,760 --> 00:44:42,279
Speaker 1: double high five, then I have the slanted laughing like

842
00:44:42,640 --> 00:44:47,080
Speaker 1: laughing one, and then I have the prayer hands. So

843
00:44:47,160 --> 00:44:52,000
Speaker 1: the double high five I have you's a good one.

844
00:44:53,680 --> 00:44:56,440
Speaker 1: Um oh, and then the fourth one is like the

845
00:44:56,760 --> 00:44:58,840
Speaker 1: surfer like kind of hanked it because I use that,

846
00:44:58,880 --> 00:45:01,640
Speaker 1: I'm like a later um. But I usually do that.

847
00:45:01,680 --> 00:45:05,000
Speaker 1: I like high five or I'll laughing or like this

848
00:45:05,040 --> 00:45:06,600
Speaker 1: one for thank you because I'll respond to a lot

849
00:45:06,640 --> 00:45:08,960
Speaker 1: of comments or whatever. People send me yourself. I was like,

850
00:45:09,080 --> 00:45:13,839
Speaker 1: thank you. Um, interesting, okay, so true story. I'm not

851
00:45:13,880 --> 00:45:16,520
Speaker 1: good at well. I I never had social media until

852
00:45:16,520 --> 00:45:20,719
Speaker 1: I was already dating, so I've never had the d M. Um.

853
00:45:20,760 --> 00:45:23,400
Speaker 1: As far as dating DM, I've reached out to like

854
00:45:23,480 --> 00:45:25,560
Speaker 1: musicians and people that I'm a fan of and connected

855
00:45:25,640 --> 00:45:26,960
Speaker 1: that way and be like, oh my god, I love

856
00:45:27,000 --> 00:45:29,920
Speaker 1: your band or like, and actually made some amazing friends

857
00:45:30,040 --> 00:45:33,120
Speaker 1: that way. Um, but I've never used it as a

858
00:45:33,200 --> 00:45:37,560
Speaker 1: dating tool. So emojis even I had somebody send me

859
00:45:37,719 --> 00:45:39,200
Speaker 1: l O L. They were sending me l O L

860
00:45:39,239 --> 00:45:40,799
Speaker 1: all the time, and I thought it meant lots of love,

861
00:45:40,840 --> 00:45:44,120
Speaker 1: and I'm like, whoa, I gotta hold on. So I'm

862
00:45:44,120 --> 00:45:47,960
Speaker 1: I'm a d M. I'm a d M moron. Um,

863
00:45:48,000 --> 00:45:51,280
Speaker 1: But yeah, what's your thoughts on like, because sometimes people

864
00:45:51,280 --> 00:45:53,760
Speaker 1: will frown on it. I think, however you meet your person,

865
00:45:53,880 --> 00:45:55,719
Speaker 1: whether it's through d M S or whatever it is

866
00:45:55,719 --> 00:45:57,840
Speaker 1: a dating app, however you meet your person is the

867
00:45:57,840 --> 00:46:00,800
Speaker 1: most important thing. What are your thoughts people that frowned

868
00:46:00,880 --> 00:46:03,359
Speaker 1: upon or the thought that maybe, oh it's it's kind

869
00:46:03,360 --> 00:46:06,200
Speaker 1: of sketchy to meet somebody via d M. I don't

870
00:46:06,200 --> 00:46:08,400
Speaker 1: think anyone has the right to judge someone else on

871
00:46:08,440 --> 00:46:10,799
Speaker 1: how they meet their other person or how they choose

872
00:46:10,800 --> 00:46:15,160
Speaker 1: to communicate with someone else, especially now with social media

873
00:46:15,520 --> 00:46:18,520
Speaker 1: and just the digital age being so popular. We communicate

874
00:46:18,600 --> 00:46:22,600
Speaker 1: through our phones and that's just how we find people,

875
00:46:23,000 --> 00:46:26,960
Speaker 1: and and now and quarantine and with everything on, it's

876
00:46:27,000 --> 00:46:29,040
Speaker 1: really hard to go out and meet people. You don't

877
00:46:29,080 --> 00:46:31,080
Speaker 1: have that. And so for anyone to say like you

878
00:46:31,080 --> 00:46:34,080
Speaker 1: can't use a dating app, or or make you feel

879
00:46:34,120 --> 00:46:36,520
Speaker 1: desperate like you you can't find someone on your own,

880
00:46:36,520 --> 00:46:37,960
Speaker 1: so you have to use a dating app, I don't

881
00:46:38,000 --> 00:46:39,440
Speaker 1: agree with that. I think it's an easy way to

882
00:46:39,440 --> 00:46:41,680
Speaker 1: connect with people and also just to make friends and

883
00:46:41,760 --> 00:46:43,880
Speaker 1: sometimes if you're lonely, just want to talk to people

884
00:46:43,960 --> 00:46:46,600
Speaker 1: and that's an easy way to do it. So UM,

885
00:46:46,760 --> 00:46:50,799
Speaker 1: hopefully that stigma disappears and people can meet people how

886
00:46:50,840 --> 00:46:55,600
Speaker 1: they want to page. That was a wonderful answer. Thank you. Yeah,

887
00:46:55,920 --> 00:46:58,080
Speaker 1: that was amazing. I hope people listen to that and

888
00:46:58,080 --> 00:47:01,080
Speaker 1: even play that back and hear that again. Um, you're

889
00:47:01,160 --> 00:47:03,800
Speaker 1: so right. Um, nobody has the right to judge anybody

890
00:47:03,800 --> 00:47:05,640
Speaker 1: else on how they meet their person or how they

891
00:47:05,640 --> 00:47:08,239
Speaker 1: go about it. Um. But then also during these times

892
00:47:08,280 --> 00:47:11,799
Speaker 1: during COVID times. Um, people are still single, people are

893
00:47:11,800 --> 00:47:14,439
Speaker 1: still seeking connection in the state of the world. Doesn't

894
00:47:14,440 --> 00:47:17,040
Speaker 1: mean they have to stop that, you know. So there's

895
00:47:17,080 --> 00:47:22,560
Speaker 1: there's tools at our literally at our fingertips to reach out. Um,

896
00:47:22,600 --> 00:47:25,200
Speaker 1: how many do Here's a question for you. How many

897
00:47:25,280 --> 00:47:28,080
Speaker 1: d ms is too many? So let's say somebody like you.

898
00:47:28,239 --> 00:47:30,719
Speaker 1: Let's say I'm d m ng you and I don't

899
00:47:30,719 --> 00:47:33,439
Speaker 1: get noticed because you get a top like the guy

900
00:47:33,480 --> 00:47:36,719
Speaker 1: that asked you about the soup's amazing. It just kept

901
00:47:36,760 --> 00:47:39,000
Speaker 1: coming in and eventually responded. But how many d ms

902
00:47:39,040 --> 00:47:40,680
Speaker 1: is too many? Where you're like, oh, I'm just gonna

903
00:47:40,680 --> 00:47:45,280
Speaker 1: block this person because they continually d M I would say,

904
00:47:45,520 --> 00:47:48,160
Speaker 1: I mean, I've never blocked someone for sending too many,

905
00:47:48,200 --> 00:47:52,200
Speaker 1: because there are times where I'll I'll see it and

906
00:47:52,239 --> 00:47:54,319
Speaker 1: then I'll be scrolling or something else happens, and then

907
00:47:54,320 --> 00:47:56,719
Speaker 1: I just I lose it because I just get a

908
00:47:56,719 --> 00:47:59,440
Speaker 1: lot of messages. And it's nice that they actually do

909
00:47:59,560 --> 00:48:02,080
Speaker 1: continue to DM me because it moves it back up

910
00:48:02,080 --> 00:48:04,239
Speaker 1: to the top. And sometimes I do want to talk

911
00:48:04,280 --> 00:48:06,560
Speaker 1: to them, but I just I can't find their user

912
00:48:06,640 --> 00:48:09,600
Speaker 1: name anymore, or I can't find their message. I would say,

913
00:48:09,640 --> 00:48:13,279
Speaker 1: maybe like three if you send three d m s

914
00:48:13,360 --> 00:48:19,800
Speaker 1: with no response, then maybe stop, but yeah, like maybe

915
00:48:19,800 --> 00:48:22,040
Speaker 1: send a DM and then if they don't respond, like

916
00:48:22,120 --> 00:48:24,759
Speaker 1: respond to someone's respond to their story and then they

917
00:48:24,760 --> 00:48:27,439
Speaker 1: don't respond to that, then maybe do like one more

918
00:48:27,440 --> 00:48:30,200
Speaker 1: response to their story or like one more d M

919
00:48:30,360 --> 00:48:35,040
Speaker 1: and then after that just it's not gonna happen. Mm hmm. Okay, Um,

920
00:48:35,160 --> 00:48:37,239
Speaker 1: did you see my Instagram story today just before we

921
00:48:37,280 --> 00:48:40,000
Speaker 1: did the show? No, I haven't. What is it? Okay?

922
00:48:40,000 --> 00:48:41,839
Speaker 1: So I put it on my Instagram today, I said,

923
00:48:42,200 --> 00:48:44,880
Speaker 1: reaching out to the community. I'm doing a fun podcast

924
00:48:44,920 --> 00:48:47,600
Speaker 1: today talking about sliding into d m s. I want

925
00:48:47,600 --> 00:48:50,680
Speaker 1: to see how the world operates. How do you guys

926
00:48:50,680 --> 00:48:53,359
Speaker 1: slide into DM? So send me examples of you guys

927
00:48:53,440 --> 00:48:56,080
Speaker 1: sliding into DM not because I'm looking for dates and whatever,

928
00:48:56,360 --> 00:48:59,040
Speaker 1: just because I want to see how the world operates. Um.

929
00:48:59,080 --> 00:49:02,759
Speaker 1: And So I've been getting a bunch of them, some

930
00:49:02,920 --> 00:49:05,120
Speaker 1: interesting ones. Um, and I kind of just want to

931
00:49:05,160 --> 00:49:08,640
Speaker 1: ask you if you've heard any of these, because you've

932
00:49:08,680 --> 00:49:11,880
Speaker 1: probably got You've probably like for somebody to like catch

933
00:49:12,080 --> 00:49:16,560
Speaker 1: pages attention with something new is probably like a monumental achievement.

934
00:49:17,960 --> 00:49:21,800
Speaker 1: You've probably heard them all. Um, are you a bank

935
00:49:21,880 --> 00:49:25,120
Speaker 1: loan because you've got my interests. Yeah, that one. I

936
00:49:25,160 --> 00:49:28,440
Speaker 1: would definitely respond to that one. I love I think

937
00:49:28,480 --> 00:49:33,560
Speaker 1: it's funny. I love it. Um, here's a here's another

938
00:49:33,719 --> 00:49:36,880
Speaker 1: blue would love to spend a day with Koda hashtag DM.

939
00:49:37,000 --> 00:49:41,799
Speaker 1: Um here's one. Somebody just sent me one. Um, it's

940
00:49:41,840 --> 00:49:44,160
Speaker 1: them laying in bad. They're not naked, but it's them

941
00:49:44,239 --> 00:49:49,399
Speaker 1: laying in bad and it just says slide. I mean

942
00:49:49,960 --> 00:49:53,399
Speaker 1: it's aggressive like that. That is that's a good one.

943
00:49:53,440 --> 00:49:55,160
Speaker 1: I love them. They will send like a picture of

944
00:49:55,239 --> 00:49:58,000
Speaker 1: like um, like something like that where it's like a

945
00:49:58,000 --> 00:50:00,400
Speaker 1: guy sliding in. They're like sliding your DM. I think

946
00:50:00,480 --> 00:50:03,680
Speaker 1: that's funny for sure. I actually laughed at it. I

947
00:50:03,719 --> 00:50:07,920
Speaker 1: actually laughed at it because I kind of appreciated the forwardness.

948
00:50:08,880 --> 00:50:10,960
Speaker 1: But but it wasn't it wasn't a naked photo, so

949
00:50:11,000 --> 00:50:13,759
Speaker 1: it wasn't like super aggressive and in your face and

950
00:50:13,840 --> 00:50:17,920
Speaker 1: really distinct and overly direct. But it was kind of

951
00:50:17,960 --> 00:50:22,520
Speaker 1: just playful, Like I actually thought it was kind of funny. Um,

952
00:50:22,600 --> 00:50:32,000
Speaker 1: hi zaddy with the z no no no no. I

953
00:50:32,040 --> 00:50:34,560
Speaker 1: have never said that I would never want if I

954
00:50:34,600 --> 00:50:36,480
Speaker 1: was a guy, I would never want some saying that

955
00:50:36,680 --> 00:50:40,239
Speaker 1: me that is like, no go for me? Why is that?

956
00:50:40,239 --> 00:50:42,799
Speaker 1: Why is that one so bad? I feel the same way,

957
00:50:42,840 --> 00:50:48,240
Speaker 1: but like this whole like daddy phenomenon like really creeps

958
00:50:48,320 --> 00:50:51,400
Speaker 1: me out. I don't know, It's just like it just

959
00:50:51,440 --> 00:50:53,440
Speaker 1: makes you look like you have like daddy issues or

960
00:50:53,480 --> 00:50:56,040
Speaker 1: something like I don't want to data guys like my

961
00:50:56,160 --> 00:50:59,080
Speaker 1: daddy like I don't. And it just increased me out

962
00:50:59,239 --> 00:51:02,719
Speaker 1: big time. Um do you can you? Do you have

963
00:51:02,760 --> 00:51:04,640
Speaker 1: any in yours right now that you think are just

964
00:51:04,719 --> 00:51:07,600
Speaker 1: hilarious that you'd want to share? Let me look, I

965
00:51:07,640 --> 00:51:13,160
Speaker 1: haven't liked it a little bit. Um this person, this

966
00:51:13,200 --> 00:51:15,640
Speaker 1: person just said can I borrow some money? Thought that

967
00:51:15,719 --> 00:51:23,000
Speaker 1: was clever. I sent an address and said can you

968
00:51:23,080 --> 00:51:24,400
Speaker 1: come to my Do you want to go on a

969
00:51:24,520 --> 00:51:27,520
Speaker 1: date with me? And just like sent the address of

970
00:51:27,560 --> 00:51:35,560
Speaker 1: a restaurant. Okay, it's not bad. Um. Most I mostly

971
00:51:35,640 --> 00:51:38,440
Speaker 1: just get like people commenting on my golf swing or

972
00:51:38,480 --> 00:51:48,040
Speaker 1: like giving me tips. Yeah, what about what about this message? Um? Hi,

973
00:51:48,280 --> 00:51:51,680
Speaker 1: nice to meet you. You're super inspiring, have incredible positive energy.

974
00:51:51,760 --> 00:51:53,800
Speaker 1: Thank you for being amazing and putting a smile on

975
00:51:53,880 --> 00:51:55,600
Speaker 1: my face every time I see a pick of you?

976
00:51:55,640 --> 00:52:00,680
Speaker 1: And coda is that what is that under because that

977
00:52:00,719 --> 00:52:03,280
Speaker 1: that just feels like a nice friend message. That doesn't

978
00:52:03,320 --> 00:52:06,800
Speaker 1: feel like a this person is interested in the message.

979
00:52:07,840 --> 00:52:11,720
Speaker 1: I think it depends on what your intentions are. Um.

980
00:52:11,800 --> 00:52:14,480
Speaker 1: If you just want to hook up that person with

981
00:52:14,600 --> 00:52:17,440
Speaker 1: that person, definitely be more forward and send something really

982
00:52:17,480 --> 00:52:20,640
Speaker 1: flirty and fun. If you are interested in maybe your

983
00:52:20,640 --> 00:52:24,080
Speaker 1: relationship or seeing where it goes, then send something kind

984
00:52:24,080 --> 00:52:26,720
Speaker 1: of in between. If you're looking just to like connect,

985
00:52:26,719 --> 00:52:28,360
Speaker 1: then send a message like that. But I think you

986
00:52:28,400 --> 00:52:30,080
Speaker 1: have to be clear with like what your intentions are

987
00:52:30,120 --> 00:52:32,640
Speaker 1: going into it, um, because it's going to determine like

988
00:52:32,760 --> 00:52:36,360
Speaker 1: how you DM that person. You're you're so good page

989
00:52:36,400 --> 00:52:39,920
Speaker 1: You're right because this I agree this. I feel like

990
00:52:39,920 --> 00:52:43,319
Speaker 1: it's just a friend message. Yeah. Well no, they used

991
00:52:43,320 --> 00:52:45,880
Speaker 1: the hard eye emoji. Oh yeah, I didn't say that.

992
00:52:45,920 --> 00:52:48,640
Speaker 1: They used the hard eye. Um high and I used

993
00:52:48,840 --> 00:52:51,640
Speaker 1: to meet you hard eyes? Oh does that see? I

994
00:52:51,719 --> 00:53:00,000
Speaker 1: miss it? They missed it. That's interested, that's interested, yeah, um,

995
00:53:00,080 --> 00:53:02,120
Speaker 1: because it's like, oh, I think you're cute, like I'm

996
00:53:02,120 --> 00:53:05,840
Speaker 1: giving you hard eyes. Okay. There are four photos as well.

997
00:53:06,400 --> 00:53:11,520
Speaker 1: The first three are of dogs looks like a husky,

998
00:53:11,600 --> 00:53:17,319
Speaker 1: and then the fourth one is in a bikini. So

999
00:53:17,560 --> 00:53:22,560
Speaker 1: that fact that girl send you a bikini picture and

1000
00:53:22,640 --> 00:53:25,000
Speaker 1: a hard eyes and you're like, oh, it's just a

1001
00:53:25,239 --> 00:53:29,319
Speaker 1: friendly message. I didn't look at the photos first. I

1002
00:53:29,360 --> 00:53:32,239
Speaker 1: just looked at the message first. Okay. So that's a

1003
00:53:32,239 --> 00:53:34,600
Speaker 1: good clue for everyone. Don't send photos because you didn't

1004
00:53:34,600 --> 00:53:37,200
Speaker 1: even look at the photos. Yeah, it's just because it

1005
00:53:37,320 --> 00:53:44,840
Speaker 1: was just like black black black black, Like um okay, um,

1006
00:53:44,880 --> 00:53:47,560
Speaker 1: what's a what's I don't know, jeez, it's so hard.

1007
00:53:48,560 --> 00:53:51,920
Speaker 1: So are people actually like maybe people that are out

1008
00:53:51,920 --> 00:53:53,839
Speaker 1: there that are like, oh I haven't been approached. Are

1009
00:53:53,880 --> 00:53:57,840
Speaker 1: they just like me where they're just missing the boat? Yes? Yeah,

1010
00:53:58,239 --> 00:54:01,840
Speaker 1: I mean I think like you're getting hundreds of messages

1011
00:54:01,880 --> 00:54:04,279
Speaker 1: from women who are interested in You're like, I don't

1012
00:54:04,320 --> 00:54:10,640
Speaker 1: get it. I don't know not Oh man, Um okay,

1013
00:54:10,640 --> 00:54:12,720
Speaker 1: can you give our can you give our male listeners

1014
00:54:12,760 --> 00:54:15,359
Speaker 1: just a couple of real quick just to summarize this,

1015
00:54:15,440 --> 00:54:17,320
Speaker 1: because I know your business. I want to want to

1016
00:54:17,320 --> 00:54:19,719
Speaker 1: take up all your day summarize this the dudes, And

1017
00:54:19,760 --> 00:54:25,600
Speaker 1: don't d m E. Not send a dick picture. That's

1018
00:54:25,760 --> 00:54:30,560
Speaker 1: the one part. Don't not send a dick picture? Does

1019
00:54:30,600 --> 00:54:33,520
Speaker 1: that just that's the one don't don't do that. Um

1020
00:54:33,560 --> 00:54:37,759
Speaker 1: I would say, do be cute, fun and kind of

1021
00:54:37,760 --> 00:54:40,960
Speaker 1: set yourself apart. So send like a flirty message or

1022
00:54:41,120 --> 00:54:44,799
Speaker 1: funny message or anything other than just like, hey, what's up?

1023
00:54:45,320 --> 00:54:49,200
Speaker 1: And then find common grounds. So ask them about something

1024
00:54:49,200 --> 00:54:52,799
Speaker 1: that they're interested in, ask them a question, and then

1025
00:54:53,239 --> 00:54:55,759
Speaker 1: be a little bit persistent. Maybe send them a couple

1026
00:54:55,760 --> 00:54:58,640
Speaker 1: of messages because they didn't see the first one. Um,

1027
00:54:58,719 --> 00:55:01,000
Speaker 1: So don't be afraid to know, be persistent, but if

1028
00:55:01,000 --> 00:55:03,400
Speaker 1: they don't respond, don't get mad at them. And also

1029
00:55:03,800 --> 00:55:05,640
Speaker 1: just do what you want to do. If you're going

1030
00:55:05,680 --> 00:55:08,040
Speaker 1: to communicate the way you want to communicate, and if

1031
00:55:08,040 --> 00:55:09,959
Speaker 1: someone likes that, they like it. If they don't, they don't,

1032
00:55:10,040 --> 00:55:11,680
Speaker 1: So just move on to the next person. There's a

1033
00:55:11,719 --> 00:55:15,320
Speaker 1: lot of efficiency, amazing. Do you think people just copy

1034
00:55:15,360 --> 00:55:17,439
Speaker 1: and paste and just slide them to thirty people hoping

1035
00:55:17,440 --> 00:55:21,560
Speaker 1: to get one bite. I'll get d M sometimes from

1036
00:55:21,560 --> 00:55:24,680
Speaker 1: like athletes and they just will send like an emoji

1037
00:55:24,880 --> 00:55:26,759
Speaker 1: and it's just like the thumbs up and I'm like,

1038
00:55:26,800 --> 00:55:30,160
Speaker 1: you definitely just sent that to like fifty other girls.

1039
00:55:31,000 --> 00:55:34,279
Speaker 1: What emoji? What what emoji? And then just like a

1040
00:55:34,280 --> 00:55:36,840
Speaker 1: hard eye or something. No, it's literally I got some

1041
00:55:36,960 --> 00:55:40,959
Speaker 1: guy sent me an emoji of pizza. Um. I got

1042
00:55:41,040 --> 00:55:44,239
Speaker 1: one where it was like a thumbs up, I got

1043
00:55:44,280 --> 00:55:48,000
Speaker 1: a smiley face, I got the fire flame And normally

1044
00:55:48,000 --> 00:55:50,000
Speaker 1: it's like hard eyes. But they will like that's like

1045
00:55:50,040 --> 00:55:52,440
Speaker 1: they're moved, like they'll only send like an emoji. I'm like,

1046
00:55:52,560 --> 00:55:55,960
Speaker 1: don't don't do that, like put them upward into it?

1047
00:55:56,040 --> 00:55:58,000
Speaker 1: Is that? So that is that kind of just because

1048
00:55:58,040 --> 00:56:01,120
Speaker 1: that guy or girl, whoever it is, person is relying

1049
00:56:01,160 --> 00:56:03,200
Speaker 1: on the fact that they probably have a big platform,

1050
00:56:03,280 --> 00:56:06,560
Speaker 1: they probably have a blue check mark, and they're just

1051
00:56:06,680 --> 00:56:09,600
Speaker 1: gonna you're you'll see it and then you'll respond and

1052
00:56:09,680 --> 00:56:11,640
Speaker 1: be like, oh hey, what's up. And that's just kind

1053
00:56:11,640 --> 00:56:17,200
Speaker 1: of their like this seems ever into it and they

1054
00:56:17,239 --> 00:56:20,480
Speaker 1: don't like like they actually really don't have to. Like

1055
00:56:20,719 --> 00:56:23,279
Speaker 1: you could probably send a girl like like a dog

1056
00:56:23,320 --> 00:56:26,600
Speaker 1: emoji and that would be enough. Like it. Honestly, sometimes

1057
00:56:26,600 --> 00:56:28,480
Speaker 1: for some people it doesn't matter what you sent them.

1058
00:56:28,520 --> 00:56:31,120
Speaker 1: You can send them anything. What's the number one thing

1059
00:56:31,200 --> 00:56:33,000
Speaker 1: you get where it's just like, hey, you're one of

1060
00:56:33,440 --> 00:56:38,359
Speaker 1: everyone if you send me this. UM. I think the

1061
00:56:38,400 --> 00:56:41,160
Speaker 1: one that I dislike the most is when they say, hey,

1062
00:56:41,280 --> 00:56:43,319
Speaker 1: do you mind if I ask you a question. I

1063
00:56:43,400 --> 00:56:48,040
Speaker 1: know that's painful. I hate that because one of my

1064
00:56:48,239 --> 00:56:51,040
Speaker 1: guests and then they asked me, just asked me the question,

1065
00:56:51,080 --> 00:56:53,160
Speaker 1: like just like let's get to it, because then I

1066
00:56:53,200 --> 00:56:55,239
Speaker 1: have to respond and I have to respond again. Like

1067
00:56:55,320 --> 00:56:57,640
Speaker 1: I don't even want to open up the conversation because

1068
00:56:57,719 --> 00:57:00,000
Speaker 1: it's just it's not even like they're being respectful. It's

1069
00:57:00,000 --> 00:57:02,560
Speaker 1: almost like they're just like pandering. They just like give

1070
00:57:02,600 --> 00:57:05,160
Speaker 1: me attention, like I just want you to respond to

1071
00:57:05,160 --> 00:57:08,319
Speaker 1: me and like ask the question. There's a neediness and

1072
00:57:08,400 --> 00:57:11,839
Speaker 1: like a desperation laced into that energetically. That's just like

1073
00:57:11,920 --> 00:57:14,120
Speaker 1: off putting. I'm like, oh god, no, I don't want

1074
00:57:14,120 --> 00:57:15,799
Speaker 1: anything to do with that. Like just come on here,

1075
00:57:15,840 --> 00:57:18,240
Speaker 1: ask me your question. I'll rip it right back. Yeah,

1076
00:57:18,600 --> 00:57:20,680
Speaker 1: there's a hesitancy that I'm like, if you do that,

1077
00:57:20,880 --> 00:57:30,360
Speaker 1: I'm I'm not going to even answer you at all. Okay,

1078
00:57:30,880 --> 00:57:33,280
Speaker 1: uh quick. I have to side with one or the other.

1079
00:57:33,520 --> 00:57:36,240
Speaker 1: Is it better to have a good photo like profile

1080
00:57:36,320 --> 00:57:38,320
Speaker 1: photo or a good caption? Which one is going to

1081
00:57:38,400 --> 00:57:43,200
Speaker 1: catch your attention? More good photo a good photo? So

1082
00:57:43,200 --> 00:57:46,560
Speaker 1: so note to all of our listeners male and female,

1083
00:57:46,640 --> 00:57:49,520
Speaker 1: have a great profile photo. What is a good photo?

1084
00:57:49,680 --> 00:57:52,440
Speaker 1: What constituted? What are the parameters that constitute a good

1085
00:57:52,480 --> 00:57:54,120
Speaker 1: photo that you're gonna be like, Oh, I'm gonna click

1086
00:57:54,160 --> 00:57:58,640
Speaker 1: on this person's profile, They're cute, this big? How can

1087
00:57:58,680 --> 00:58:01,120
Speaker 1: how can you tell? What do you gotta do? I

1088
00:58:01,160 --> 00:58:03,360
Speaker 1: think if it's just like of your face, I think

1089
00:58:03,400 --> 00:58:06,280
Speaker 1: it when people are like smiling or they look happy,

1090
00:58:06,680 --> 00:58:10,000
Speaker 1: I think that draws me in a lot more. Um,

1091
00:58:10,040 --> 00:58:12,160
Speaker 1: if you can't tell what the person looks like, then

1092
00:58:12,200 --> 00:58:14,520
Speaker 1: I'm also probably not going to like open up dam

1093
00:58:14,640 --> 00:58:16,280
Speaker 1: like I want to see what you look like first,

1094
00:58:16,320 --> 00:58:18,800
Speaker 1: just to know, like who I'm talking to. And especially

1095
00:58:18,800 --> 00:58:21,600
Speaker 1: because there are a lot of like catfish situations where

1096
00:58:21,800 --> 00:58:23,880
Speaker 1: you don't actually know what the person looks like, and

1097
00:58:23,920 --> 00:58:25,680
Speaker 1: so they have like a picture of like their dog

1098
00:58:26,240 --> 00:58:29,000
Speaker 1: or three people, or you don't know who it is,

1099
00:58:29,040 --> 00:58:32,200
Speaker 1: like it's hard to know, Like it's deer put like

1100
00:58:32,240 --> 00:58:34,360
Speaker 1: a face to their message. If you can actually see

1101
00:58:34,400 --> 00:58:36,480
Speaker 1: what they look like, got you, Yeah, I agree with that.

1102
00:58:36,560 --> 00:58:40,160
Speaker 1: Here's yours. You are lining up a putt. Yeah, well

1103
00:58:40,200 --> 00:58:42,320
Speaker 1: it's a golf page. Come on, I have to have

1104
00:58:42,400 --> 00:58:46,520
Speaker 1: a golf picture. How long have you had the same

1105
00:58:46,560 --> 00:58:51,360
Speaker 1: profile picture? I've had that one for probably three years,

1106
00:58:51,560 --> 00:58:55,080
Speaker 1: three or four years really, m The first thing I

1107
00:58:55,120 --> 00:58:57,480
Speaker 1: had was just like a picture of my face, and

1108
00:58:58,160 --> 00:59:00,120
Speaker 1: I wanted to change it because I wanted to make

1109
00:59:00,160 --> 00:59:02,240
Speaker 1: it more golfy because people were confused if it was

1110
00:59:02,240 --> 00:59:03,560
Speaker 1: a golf page or not. And so I was like,

1111
00:59:03,600 --> 00:59:06,680
Speaker 1: I need a picture. But I didn't almost want to

1112
00:59:06,760 --> 00:59:09,160
Speaker 1: change it because I felt like it was almost like

1113
00:59:09,160 --> 00:59:11,480
Speaker 1: a bad thing to do, Like are people gonna recognize

1114
00:59:11,480 --> 00:59:13,160
Speaker 1: what my page is anymore? If you like, change the

1115
00:59:13,240 --> 00:59:19,520
Speaker 1: profile picture, it doesn't matter, that's okay, okay, breakdown my

1116
00:59:19,640 --> 00:59:23,600
Speaker 1: profile picture for me. And if this, if this slid

1117
00:59:23,640 --> 00:59:25,400
Speaker 1: into your d M s, would you click on it

1118
00:59:25,440 --> 00:59:28,640
Speaker 1: based on just profile picture or no? You can look

1119
00:59:28,680 --> 00:59:35,840
Speaker 1: at your phone. Um see the hesitancy there's that's that's

1120
00:59:35,880 --> 00:59:39,440
Speaker 1: not a definite Oh I'd click that. So I'm messing

1121
00:59:39,480 --> 00:59:43,480
Speaker 1: this whole Instagram game up page, you know, only because

1122
00:59:43,840 --> 00:59:47,080
Speaker 1: it almost doesn't look like a real picture. It looks

1123
00:59:47,080 --> 00:59:49,000
Speaker 1: like a picture that you could take off of the

1124
00:59:49,040 --> 00:59:52,840
Speaker 1: internet and like photoshopping, like make it yours. And so

1125
00:59:52,960 --> 00:59:55,600
Speaker 1: I would be like, is that it does he actually

1126
00:59:55,640 --> 00:59:58,200
Speaker 1: look like that? It's not that you look bad, it's

1127
00:59:58,200 --> 01:00:00,960
Speaker 1: almost like it just looks too professional. It looks like

1128
01:00:00,960 --> 01:00:04,680
Speaker 1: a struction picture. True story, that's a that's just a

1129
01:00:04,680 --> 01:00:08,400
Speaker 1: photo taken with an iPhone, not touched at all, not edited,

1130
01:00:08,480 --> 01:00:13,480
Speaker 1: not nothing. That was something we can all strive to

1131
01:00:13,480 --> 01:00:18,000
Speaker 1: be as good looking as you. Oh yeah, whatever that is.

1132
01:00:18,080 --> 01:00:21,960
Speaker 1: I got my hair cut pictures like five professional cameras

1133
01:00:22,120 --> 01:00:25,360
Speaker 1: and you're just like, it's an iPhone, not even on

1134
01:00:25,440 --> 01:00:28,600
Speaker 1: portrait mode. That one was on portrait mode. So true

1135
01:00:28,600 --> 01:00:30,600
Speaker 1: story that photo. I had just got my hair cut

1136
01:00:30,960 --> 01:00:33,280
Speaker 1: and I had just got the new iPhone and there

1137
01:00:33,360 --> 01:00:37,400
Speaker 1: was a portrait mode and Jill, who's my style, She's like,

1138
01:00:37,480 --> 01:00:39,160
Speaker 1: let's take a photo of it, and she's like, turned

1139
01:00:39,200 --> 01:00:40,600
Speaker 1: to the side. I turned aside and it just had

1140
01:00:40,600 --> 01:00:44,360
Speaker 1: a black background in the salon um And that was

1141
01:00:44,400 --> 01:00:45,640
Speaker 1: the photo that came out. And I was like, Oh,

1142
01:00:45,680 --> 01:00:47,400
Speaker 1: I like that. That's dope. I'm gonna run with that.

1143
01:00:47,480 --> 01:00:49,520
Speaker 1: It's been on there for like a couple of years. No,

1144
01:00:49,640 --> 01:00:51,080
Speaker 1: it's not like I said, it's not that it's a

1145
01:00:51,120 --> 01:00:54,840
Speaker 1: bad photo. But if I'm like worried about someone catfishing me,

1146
01:00:54,920 --> 01:00:58,200
Speaker 1: I would probably be like this guy likes like two

1147
01:00:58,280 --> 01:01:03,040
Speaker 1: professional or like good picture instead of like it looks

1148
01:01:03,080 --> 01:01:05,200
Speaker 1: just like a normal person, like you don't look like

1149
01:01:05,240 --> 01:01:09,520
Speaker 1: a normal person there. But if having the blue checkmark,

1150
01:01:09,560 --> 01:01:12,760
Speaker 1: which I do, you would know that I'm not catfishing,

1151
01:01:13,600 --> 01:01:16,040
Speaker 1: so I shouldn't. Also, if you have a blue checkmark,

1152
01:01:16,080 --> 01:01:18,400
Speaker 1: you should have a good photo. You could said nothing,

1153
01:01:18,480 --> 01:01:20,720
Speaker 1: It could be a blank screen. But if you're saying

1154
01:01:20,760 --> 01:01:22,680
Speaker 1: to a girl's d M, she's gonna be about it,

1155
01:01:22,720 --> 01:01:25,120
Speaker 1: like you don't. You don't have to put any effort

1156
01:01:25,200 --> 01:01:28,880
Speaker 1: into it, is it? Why because of the blue checkmark? No,

1157
01:01:29,000 --> 01:01:33,360
Speaker 1: because you're attractive and like you you're you played played

1158
01:01:33,360 --> 01:01:35,960
Speaker 1: professionally and like you have like your together and like

1159
01:01:36,000 --> 01:01:38,600
Speaker 1: if you just look at your profile and you're like dogs,

1160
01:01:38,720 --> 01:01:41,160
Speaker 1: like you don't have to you literally don't have to

1161
01:01:41,200 --> 01:01:44,920
Speaker 1: do anything. How a thirst trap of you naked cooking?

1162
01:01:47,320 --> 01:01:52,600
Speaker 1: Come on? Like you know how to do anything? Like

1163
01:01:52,840 --> 01:01:58,680
Speaker 1: so easy. So I've never I've never used d m

1164
01:01:58,800 --> 01:02:01,160
Speaker 1: NG as a tool of day just because I have

1165
01:02:01,400 --> 01:02:06,880
Speaker 1: to um um question. I was going to ask you, Oh,

1166
01:02:07,160 --> 01:02:09,600
Speaker 1: in your d MS, how important is a blue check mark?

1167
01:02:09,840 --> 01:02:11,800
Speaker 1: If you see a blue check mark in your d MS,

1168
01:02:12,120 --> 01:02:15,680
Speaker 1: what percentage of time would you read that message? Probably

1169
01:02:16,760 --> 01:02:22,000
Speaker 1: I got of the time, but mostly because one with

1170
01:02:22,040 --> 01:02:25,960
Speaker 1: like the podcast and being in digital media, like it's

1171
01:02:26,000 --> 01:02:27,800
Speaker 1: just nice to connect with other people, and so I

1172
01:02:27,840 --> 01:02:30,400
Speaker 1: want to see why they're reaching out. Um. If they're

1173
01:02:30,400 --> 01:02:32,640
Speaker 1: reaching out and I feel like it's like their intentions

1174
01:02:32,640 --> 01:02:35,200
Speaker 1: aren't great, then I'm not going to respond. Just because

1175
01:02:35,240 --> 01:02:36,880
Speaker 1: they have a blue checkmark doesn't mean that I'm going

1176
01:02:36,920 --> 01:02:39,919
Speaker 1: to respond every single time. Um, but I will read

1177
01:02:39,960 --> 01:02:42,880
Speaker 1: the message like it definitely catches my eye. Um, but

1178
01:02:42,920 --> 01:02:44,840
Speaker 1: I'm not like, oh, he has a lot of followers.

1179
01:02:45,120 --> 01:02:46,959
Speaker 1: I'm definitely going to talk to him, Like you still

1180
01:02:46,960 --> 01:02:49,960
Speaker 1: have to send a good message or ask me a

1181
01:02:50,080 --> 01:02:53,640
Speaker 1: question if you do have a blue check mark. Yeah. Um,

1182
01:02:53,760 --> 01:02:56,800
Speaker 1: let's talk about the podcast. Are enjoying it. I love it.

1183
01:02:56,800 --> 01:02:59,880
Speaker 1: It's been great. It's it's been a challenge for sure

1184
01:03:00,000 --> 01:03:02,400
Speaker 1: because it's something like I've never done before. Um, but

1185
01:03:02,480 --> 01:03:04,280
Speaker 1: it's nice to just have a lot of fun talk

1186
01:03:04,320 --> 01:03:07,600
Speaker 1: about whatever we want to talk about. And it's it's fun.

1187
01:03:07,680 --> 01:03:10,800
Speaker 1: It's great. So it's an iheard podcast. It's called playing Around.

1188
01:03:11,400 --> 01:03:15,120
Speaker 1: Um have you would have been real quickly, like one

1189
01:03:15,240 --> 01:03:18,800
Speaker 1: positive experience that you've noticed from it and one negative

1190
01:03:18,840 --> 01:03:21,800
Speaker 1: experience that you that was kind of unforeseen coming in.

1191
01:03:22,920 --> 01:03:25,919
Speaker 1: Positive would be just getting my personality out there more

1192
01:03:26,040 --> 01:03:28,800
Speaker 1: people only know me mostly just from pictures that I

1193
01:03:28,840 --> 01:03:31,560
Speaker 1: post on Instagram, and so it's nice that I can

1194
01:03:31,680 --> 01:03:34,280
Speaker 1: show I have a really like goofy silly side that

1195
01:03:34,360 --> 01:03:37,440
Speaker 1: people really didn't know that I had that before. And

1196
01:03:37,480 --> 01:03:44,000
Speaker 1: then one negative is just creating a show that people enjoy.

1197
01:03:44,240 --> 01:03:47,840
Speaker 1: I think that sometimes when I've gone into like serious topics,

1198
01:03:48,200 --> 01:03:50,160
Speaker 1: people say that it's no fun and I don't want

1199
01:03:50,160 --> 01:03:51,960
Speaker 1: to listen to it. And then sometimes when I'm too silly,

1200
01:03:52,000 --> 01:03:54,800
Speaker 1: then they'll say, like there's no substance. And so usually,

1201
01:03:54,880 --> 01:03:57,360
Speaker 1: like on my Instagram, I can control the comments or

1202
01:03:57,400 --> 01:04:00,440
Speaker 1: I control like how people receive it. But with a podcast,

1203
01:04:00,480 --> 01:04:03,600
Speaker 1: it's it's hard, like it's your opinions, you know, and

1204
01:04:04,120 --> 01:04:06,080
Speaker 1: if they don't like you or like what you're saying,

1205
01:04:06,120 --> 01:04:08,240
Speaker 1: and it's like they don't really like you, and so

1206
01:04:08,280 --> 01:04:12,240
Speaker 1: it's hard to like create a show that everyone seems

1207
01:04:12,280 --> 01:04:16,240
Speaker 1: to enjoy and have fun listening to. And like, yeah,

1208
01:04:16,360 --> 01:04:18,640
Speaker 1: we try and and it's a dance and I mean,

1209
01:04:18,720 --> 01:04:22,120
Speaker 1: you're we're maybe nine months longer into it than you

1210
01:04:22,120 --> 01:04:25,320
Speaker 1: are on yours on playing around, um, but it's a

1211
01:04:25,400 --> 01:04:27,120
Speaker 1: dance and we we try and do this. The reason

1212
01:04:27,160 --> 01:04:29,160
Speaker 1: I got into this podcast was to try and add

1213
01:04:29,280 --> 01:04:31,760
Speaker 1: value to the listener. I was like, Okay, how can

1214
01:04:31,800 --> 01:04:35,000
Speaker 1: I positively impact people's lives? Um And one way that

1215
01:04:35,000 --> 01:04:38,160
Speaker 1: that Gavin is amazing on our show I miss you, buddy,

1216
01:04:38,160 --> 01:04:41,160
Speaker 1: miss Gav is that he adds a lot of entertainment.

1217
01:04:42,080 --> 01:04:44,760
Speaker 1: So you get value and entertainment because, like you said,

1218
01:04:44,800 --> 01:04:47,000
Speaker 1: sometimes that we do want to go into the high level,

1219
01:04:47,080 --> 01:04:49,800
Speaker 1: really thought provoking conversations, and in other days we want

1220
01:04:49,800 --> 01:04:52,040
Speaker 1: to have more conversations like today which is more about

1221
01:04:52,600 --> 01:04:54,520
Speaker 1: d m NG and the one we had about thirst traps,

1222
01:04:54,520 --> 01:04:56,280
Speaker 1: which are just kind of fun too, because sometimes the

1223
01:04:56,280 --> 01:04:59,680
Speaker 1: world just needs to be entertained as well. UM. But

1224
01:04:59,840 --> 01:05:01,919
Speaker 1: I think your podcast is great. I love that you

1225
01:05:02,040 --> 01:05:06,040
Speaker 1: are branching out and challenging yourself in a new medium,

1226
01:05:06,040 --> 01:05:10,440
Speaker 1: a new format. Um. And for people that that comment

1227
01:05:10,520 --> 01:05:13,720
Speaker 1: on it or are judgmental of it, podcasts are hard.

1228
01:05:14,040 --> 01:05:16,720
Speaker 1: Like you, You're you're literally opening yourself up, your thoughts,

1229
01:05:16,760 --> 01:05:20,600
Speaker 1: your opinions, and anybody out there listening can jab at

1230
01:05:20,640 --> 01:05:23,800
Speaker 1: it in any direction anyway they see different from the

1231
01:05:23,800 --> 01:05:26,000
Speaker 1: way they see the world, so it takes a lot

1232
01:05:26,000 --> 01:05:28,480
Speaker 1: of courage. I applaud you for your courage and for

1233
01:05:28,520 --> 01:05:31,800
Speaker 1: your bravery for coming out and starting a podcast. Um,

1234
01:05:31,840 --> 01:05:33,400
Speaker 1: and I hope you enjoy it because I think it's

1235
01:05:33,440 --> 01:05:36,200
Speaker 1: really impactful what you're doing. Thank you. Yeah, it's been

1236
01:05:36,240 --> 01:05:38,320
Speaker 1: a lot of fun and I was enjoy coming on

1237
01:05:38,360 --> 01:05:41,360
Speaker 1: this show and adding some entertainment and we get to

1238
01:05:41,360 --> 01:05:43,640
Speaker 1: talk about a lot of really fun things. So I

1239
01:05:43,960 --> 01:05:46,240
Speaker 1: can't wait to see you up your d M game.

1240
01:05:46,360 --> 01:05:50,000
Speaker 1: And I'm gonna laugh. Change your profile picture after this,

1241
01:05:50,480 --> 01:05:53,680
Speaker 1: right right, I'll put something smoothy, just me and my dog,

1242
01:05:53,840 --> 01:05:57,400
Speaker 1: like just something. Um, but you're you're so good. Everything

1243
01:05:57,400 --> 01:05:59,560
Speaker 1: you said was so right, Everything was so fresh, and

1244
01:06:00,000 --> 01:06:02,400
Speaker 1: you're so right. Um, it can be and I want

1245
01:06:02,400 --> 01:06:06,000
Speaker 1: to encourage our community the the d M format can

1246
01:06:06,040 --> 01:06:11,120
Speaker 1: be a way to meet somebody. Um. For sure, connections, relationships, marriages,

1247
01:06:11,920 --> 01:06:15,560
Speaker 1: families have been birthed out of DM. So um. Any

1248
01:06:15,680 --> 01:06:20,240
Speaker 1: last advice for our listeners? Robbie Hayes our last guest,

1249
01:06:20,280 --> 01:06:23,040
Speaker 1: he said, shoot your shot? He said, Kobe said, shoot

1250
01:06:23,160 --> 01:06:25,200
Speaker 1: your shot? What what last advice could you give our

1251
01:06:25,200 --> 01:06:28,440
Speaker 1: listeners that there may be a little timid or haven't

1252
01:06:28,520 --> 01:06:32,400
Speaker 1: even ever sent a d M? Any advice for our listeners? Yeah,

1253
01:06:32,440 --> 01:06:34,920
Speaker 1: I mean his advice is great. Definitely just go for it,

1254
01:06:34,960 --> 01:06:38,439
Speaker 1: but be yourself. Don't try to change who you are

1255
01:06:38,680 --> 01:06:41,520
Speaker 1: to get a response from that other person. And so

1256
01:06:41,560 --> 01:06:43,200
Speaker 1: if you're looking at the profile and you can't really

1257
01:06:43,200 --> 01:06:46,520
Speaker 1: find common ground, then maybe it's not worth it too,

1258
01:06:46,560 --> 01:06:49,880
Speaker 1: DM them. So always be yourself, be true to yourself,

1259
01:06:50,040 --> 01:06:52,520
Speaker 1: and send what you want to send, and don't get

1260
01:06:52,600 --> 01:06:54,440
Speaker 1: down on yourself. If you don't get a response, has

1261
01:06:54,480 --> 01:06:56,800
Speaker 1: nothing to do with you, has probably something to do

1262
01:06:56,840 --> 01:06:59,560
Speaker 1: with them. So if they don't respond, it's not a rejection,

1263
01:06:59,720 --> 01:07:02,040
Speaker 1: it's is It's just the way it is, and move

1264
01:07:02,080 --> 01:07:05,640
Speaker 1: on to next person. Literally, just delete it and move on. Okay,

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Speaker 1: Page Rene, thank you so much. Um. Where can our

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Speaker 1: listeners find you and send you humorous, fund lighthearted DM. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you can find me on Instagram at page Renee, and

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Speaker 1: then on Twitter and Facebook it's my full name, page Brantic.

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Speaker 1: And then obviously I have a podcast called Playing Around.

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Speaker 1: It's on my heart anywhere you can get your podcast,

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Speaker 1: so yeah, come find me page They always appreciate you.

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Speaker 1: You're my Instagram slash life coach. Um and for all

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Speaker 1: our listeners, tune into page catch more page on your

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Speaker 1: Playing Around podcast. Thank you, page, be well, stay safe,

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Speaker 1: I hope to see you again sometime soon. Uh and

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Speaker 1: everybody listening, thank you for tuning in until next week.

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Speaker 1: Take care of one another, love one another, and we'll

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Speaker 1: see you back here for another episode of How Men

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Speaker 1: Think