Speaker 1: The Nicky Glazer Podcast. Here's Nikki. Hello here, I am
Speaker 1: welcome to the show. It's a Nick Grazer podcast. I'm
Speaker 1: here in St. Louis with Andrew Colin and that Mike
Speaker 1: cover is still sitting there. That smells like poop from
Speaker 1: where you threw it a week ago. I mean, who
Speaker 1: knows what it smells like now? Maybe it went away.
Speaker 1: I can't test you can I kick it over? You go?
Speaker 1: We go at the same time. I'll smelling in between. Okay,
Speaker 1: we'll smell like a what's it called, like a lady
Speaker 1: in the train put on the llama's notes. I think
Speaker 1: it's gone. We think it's gone. I was gonna get
Speaker 1: it up with will you wait get in there? It
Speaker 1: ship goes away? Okay. I regret writing Amazon. They told
Speaker 1: me had to return it. I was like, I'm not
Speaker 1: touching that thing. No, it burn the fucking packaging. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and Amazon famously if you return anything to them, they
Speaker 1: throw it away. It ends up in landfills. Whatever you return.
Speaker 1: I like that was like our version of eating spaghetti together.
Speaker 1: That's what I said. It was. With those sunglasses Andrew
Speaker 1: has on fourth of July sunglasses. Did you get those
Speaker 1: on the fourth Cardinals game. Oh really, it's like the
Speaker 1: prize that they gave you know, I bought them. I mean,
Speaker 1: it wasn't expensive. They're not polarized. They might be polarizing, yeah,
Speaker 1: if you know what I mean, because people either hate
Speaker 1: them or they really hate them. Well, I think if
Speaker 1: anything really pro if you're a guy wearing like an
Speaker 1: America flat like for a for a cape, people think
Speaker 1: that's a little much. Um. I was trying to test
Speaker 1: Chris's vision the other day because he's like, I think
Speaker 1: I need to get glasses for the first time ever,
Speaker 1: and so I started like asking him. We were just
Speaker 1: like at the gate, and so I was staring out
Speaker 1: at the airfield and I'm like, what about that, Like
Speaker 1: can you read what's on that? And he was like,
Speaker 1: I think it's as flammable, but I just kind of
Speaker 1: know that it would say flammable you know, or like
Speaker 1: you know, bags only or whatever it is. And so
Speaker 1: and then I was like, what about that? How many
Speaker 1: stripes are on that flag? It was American flag? Do
Speaker 1: you know what he stripes on the flag? How many
Speaker 1: I'd have to see it? I would say, it's uh, fuck,
Speaker 1: it's not it's fifty stars, and then it's I think
Speaker 1: it's the original colonies maybe, so sixteen stripes not bad though,
Speaker 1: why don't they end on a unlucky number? They should
Speaker 1: have just done one more? Do you think it was unlucky? Then?
Speaker 1: When did thirteen be came? Probably later because of which
Speaker 1: is and which just came after colonies? Yeah, four colonies.
Speaker 1: Colonies were like Jamestown, which trials, that was all after
Speaker 1: we settled. They were burning witches and they used to
Speaker 1: do that thing of like they would drown you, and
Speaker 1: if you survived, you are a witch. And if you drowned,
Speaker 1: they knew you weren't a witch. So either way you're fucked,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, wait, so
Speaker 1: they drowned, so like if they suspected you were a witch,
Speaker 1: they would like tie like a fucking thing to your
Speaker 1: leg and throw you in the water, and if you
Speaker 1: were able to like float up and survive or somehow
Speaker 1: get out of it, you were a witch and it
Speaker 1: confirmed it. And then they would maybe burn you or whatever,
Speaker 1: and if you drown they'd be like, oh wow, what see,
Speaker 1: yes she was immortal not immortal? Yeah, Um, how does
Speaker 1: the witch become? Is it just a woman? That got
Speaker 1: a little loud and we don't do you know? It
Speaker 1: was all they fled for their like the Puritans fled
Speaker 1: to have religious freedom, to be religious fucking insane people.
Speaker 1: So like anything that would go against religion, which was
Speaker 1: witchcraft or you know girls swooning, people fainting in church,
Speaker 1: or like you know, just a woman that would be
Speaker 1: kind of weird or like older that no one wanted
Speaker 1: to fuck anymore, and she was just kind of like
Speaker 1: said something weird and then someone's dog died. They'd be
Speaker 1: like she did it, and then they would just because
Speaker 1: it gave them an excuse, and it was and it
Speaker 1: was anti religion. I just love that Jesus turned a
Speaker 1: snake a stick into a snake, or water into wine.
Speaker 1: He was a huge witch. Yeah, such a witch, long hair, blasphemous, no,
Speaker 1: but like a hot witch. The craft, ye, yeah, like
Speaker 1: Nev Campbell and the Craft. Do you ever watch that
Speaker 1: this movie what's the other one with the three girls
Speaker 1: and not Heathers although I loved that movie back that movie,
Speaker 1: Oh you would like it. A lot of betrayon and
Speaker 1: love and kind of cruel intentions. Yeah, it's that kind
Speaker 1: of feeling a lot of murder Christians. Later, what's the
Speaker 1: other one where they're all witches? There's three of them?
Speaker 1: Maybe there's the Craft and then they oh, man, I
Speaker 1: love the scene where the popular girl in school who
Speaker 1: played Jan Brady and or who played um Marcia Brady
Speaker 1: and the revamp of the Brady Bunch also married to
Speaker 1: um and Stiller. Yes, what's her name, Christine Taylor? I
Speaker 1: think she was also in Hey Nude, But anyway, she
Speaker 1: was the popular girl in high school in the Craft
Speaker 1: and to get revenge on her, they like, you know,
Speaker 1: put a hoax on her or whatever, and she all
Speaker 1: her hair fell out, which is like a popular blonde
Speaker 1: girl's nightmare. And she's like, it's my nightmare, but it's
Speaker 1: like day it's my daydream, just your reality. Know. Also
Speaker 1: she had blonde hair, right obviously. Then yeah, it's always
Speaker 1: the cool girl in the high school. They broke up,
Speaker 1: they almost like they separated, and I think they were
Speaker 1: real to divorce and then they reconciled another back together.
Speaker 1: You know. I like that. People just are I was
Speaker 1: talking to Girls Gotta Eat Girls yesterday about getting back
Speaker 1: together with your ex boyfriend, and so many people are
Speaker 1: so anti get back with your ex and I've never
Speaker 1: understood not doing that because you already have love there
Speaker 1: you probably a lot of times I think you break
Speaker 1: up because you don't you don't have the tools to
Speaker 1: get through a uh, you know, a fight or a disagreement.
Speaker 1: And I think, yeah, or like, and you're too young
Speaker 1: to understand, like these things are fine. Like I just
Speaker 1: reposted this as as their parrel um so good story.
Speaker 1: Did you see Yeah, I don't know why purel Yeah,
Speaker 1: they're purele pr bathroom And she says seven relationship myths
Speaker 1: believing it does sound like a got it? Thank you?
Speaker 1: My people in a relationship don't flirt myths. Honesty is
Speaker 1: the best policy. Myth. Bad sex should always be a
Speaker 1: relationship deal breaker. Your significant other should be your friends.
Speaker 1: Fighting is always a sign that something is wrong. Myth.
Speaker 1: Once a cheeter, always a cheeter. To get past cheating,
Speaker 1: you must forgive and forget or just dump the cheeter.
Speaker 1: Now did any of those strike you? I know you
Speaker 1: were focused on saying myth? Did you hear anything of
Speaker 1: what I was saying? Like, could you either repeat one
Speaker 1: of those back to me? Besides, once the cheater, always
Speaker 1: a cheater. Honestly, I was listening no I got I
Speaker 1: got best friends shouldn't be best friends. People don't flirt. Um,
Speaker 1: well I got the first four your best friend I
Speaker 1: always do. I mean, good for you if your significant
Speaker 1: other is your best friend. But I think that that
Speaker 1: shows signs of like, well, you might not be having
Speaker 1: other you just don't have other friends because you're a
Speaker 1: significant other is everything to you, which leads me to
Speaker 1: believe a little bit of codependency. It's not bad if
Speaker 1: they're one of your best friends, which Chris is one
Speaker 1: of my best friends, but is he my best I
Speaker 1: wouldn't be like he's my one and only. It's like
Speaker 1: people who say, I bet, people who say that their
Speaker 1: boyfriends or their girlfriends are the best friends are the
Speaker 1: same people who say their dad or their mom was
Speaker 1: their best friend. You need friends, bitch. You need to
Speaker 1: get actual girlfriends who aren't like, you know, he's my
Speaker 1: only friend, like sometimes you have that in relationships. They're
Speaker 1: my only real friends. Well you know, and sometimes that's
Speaker 1: the case. I've talked about friendship before. If you can't
Speaker 1: find friends, it's not it's sometimes it's not you. It
Speaker 1: really is just circumstantial. And but that doesn't mean you
Speaker 1: should give up and be like my boyfriends, my only friend,
Speaker 1: my best friend. Well, I think it's tough when you
Speaker 1: date someone and they don't want you to have any friends.
Speaker 1: That's a whole another thing. What um, But I think
Speaker 1: some of these bubble in my throat um do like
Speaker 1: they do. They are things that people really do think
Speaker 1: that bad sex should always be a relationship deal breaker.
Speaker 1: And I just to me, I would say that if
Speaker 1: I didn't have a good, fulfilling sex life with my partner,
Speaker 1: I would probably well that's you know what you would
Speaker 1: give it a conversation or two. Yeah, that's what she says.
Speaker 1: You could work on it. Yeah, and you can maybe,
Speaker 1: you know if the person doesn't, because some people are
Speaker 1: a sexual and they still deserve to be in a relationship,
Speaker 1: and maybe you just go, okay, well you can have
Speaker 1: sex with other people or you know, there's a way
Speaker 1: around it. You don't. It doesn't have to be a
Speaker 1: deal breaker. I think if someone's bad at sex or
Speaker 1: is not giving you what you need and then also
Speaker 1: is stubborn about changing anything, that's a different thing than
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like I think I don't know. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think that you can you just have to be
Speaker 1: open and honest. I think so many relationships you'd probably
Speaker 1: just go, well, this person is sucking me bad. It
Speaker 1: should end. They don't. They're not really into me, you know,
Speaker 1: without having a conversation. Too scary to have a conversation
Speaker 1: because you feel like you're gonna hurt their feeling or
Speaker 1: you'll find out something about yourself that they don't find attractive.
Speaker 1: Maybe yeah, or yeah, well yeah, you might find out
Speaker 1: that they're not into you. It might be a fear,
Speaker 1: or my fear would be they might I'm so scared
Speaker 1: of like if so, if I were to be like
Speaker 1: I don't like when you do this, or I do
Speaker 1: want you to do this more, they go like, well
Speaker 1: I want you to. Then you're messing up this like
Speaker 1: you get defensive and tell you what you're doing wrong,
Speaker 1: and there wouldn't make me just shut down? What was that?
Speaker 1: But then are you in a relationship or are you
Speaker 1: just like in a hookup. I feel like someone who's
Speaker 1: in a relationship with you probably wouldn't say that. I've
Speaker 1: been in relationships where I couldn't communicate like that because
Speaker 1: of fear that they would just say something back. I
Speaker 1: was like, well you do this? People that do that
Speaker 1: in relationship or like any kind of argument, I just can't.
Speaker 1: I'm open to like, yes I'm not I'm not coming
Speaker 1: at you because I'm perfect. Let's talk about my ship
Speaker 1: at another time. But like the instant defense of like,
Speaker 1: well you do this is like okay, well you know what.
Speaker 1: This conversation is over. I can't do it unless it
Speaker 1: can just be I mean, I'm open to that, but
Speaker 1: do you see what I'm saying, Like when people just
Speaker 1: instantly it negates everything you say because no one's perfect.
Speaker 1: Of course everyone's going to be a little hypocritical, but
Speaker 1: it doesn't it's hard not to get. It depends how
Speaker 1: you come. Like we've talked about this, like defense. You
Speaker 1: you get defensive if you feel like someone's being too offensive.
Speaker 1: So then if you come at them and go you know,
Speaker 1: I would really appreciate it if you might go down
Speaker 1: on me longer you haven't been in the last few weeks. Yes,
Speaker 1: I really could use you know, a good head, and
Speaker 1: that'd be great as opposed to like you never eat
Speaker 1: my pussy? Right, you see those two things like then
Speaker 1: the words never and always. You should probably try to
Speaker 1: eradicate from conversations that you have I've heard that advice before,
Speaker 1: of like, because no one always does something or never
Speaker 1: does something, and those words, man, they already say, well,
Speaker 1: they set you up for this person is lying, this
Speaker 1: person's exaggerating. So all of a sudden, if you say, Nikki,
Speaker 1: aways do something, I go, well, he's full of ship
Speaker 1: because I don't always do something. So already I have
Speaker 1: you as a liar, and like, don't take what you're
Speaker 1: saying seriously because you're just you're being emotionally, you're exaggerating.
Speaker 1: So that's good advice. Um, I have a thing where
Speaker 1: it's like, in the past, I've felt like so often
Speaker 1: men care, which I'm so glad that men care about
Speaker 1: my pleasure when I'm having sex, Like there's been a
Speaker 1: lot of times where it wasn't even a part of
Speaker 1: the conversation my pleasure. But then I think sometimes there's
Speaker 1: always this thing in guy's head where like they need
Speaker 1: to make you come. They you you have to come,
Speaker 1: like it has to be even. And sometimes I'm like,
Speaker 1: I I don't mind not I don't mind just being
Speaker 1: a come a c D. You know what I'm saying
Speaker 1: right now, I don't mind. I kind of like it,
Speaker 1: and I really really don't understand this. Can no, can
Speaker 1: you help me understand this from a woman's perspective? Why
Speaker 1: women suddenly give up on blowjobs? And I know this
Speaker 1: is like a cliche thing, but it is real. I
Speaker 1: read about it on Reddit in different forms. Women stopped
Speaker 1: doing blow jobs after they get married, or eventually they
Speaker 1: I would rather give a blowjob if I'm not feeling
Speaker 1: in the mood for sex, which happens about three days
Speaker 1: before I start bleeding. That was three days no interest
Speaker 1: in sex, no horny nous, drives a bone those days.
Speaker 1: I I would rather if I still want my partner
Speaker 1: to be pleased during those times, and he's horny, and
Speaker 1: I want to give him that pleasure because I love
Speaker 1: him and because I wanted him to feel close to
Speaker 1: me and all those things, and I don't mind it.
Speaker 1: I would much rather suck a dick than get a
Speaker 1: penis in my vagina because I'm turned off down there,
Speaker 1: like it's like, yes, my CD drive is dusty, and
Speaker 1: I'd rather just suck a dick. But why do women?
Speaker 1: Why do women think blow jobs are so hard to do?
Speaker 1: I think it's harder to have a penis in your vagina.
Speaker 1: Then two sucking. I think sucking dick is like very simple.
Speaker 1: I just feel like I actually go ahead. Sorry, I
Speaker 1: was gonna say, just very quickly. I don't know because
Speaker 1: I relate to you. But maybe women think that like
Speaker 1: they have to give a blowjob from like start to
Speaker 1: finish instead of like mixing it up with their hand
Speaker 1: and it's like too much work or like, oh you
Speaker 1: need to do hand. Guys want hand. Yeah, I think
Speaker 1: what it is too is I think guys, once you
Speaker 1: get a blowjob, you're thinking, now, look, some guys just
Speaker 1: wanna have an orgasm from a blowjob. But I would
Speaker 1: feel like, as a woman, if I started blowing the guy,
Speaker 1: he's going to expect to have sex with me. So like,
Speaker 1: let's say you want to be closed off down there
Speaker 1: your CD. Yeah, but it might be scary for you
Speaker 1: to start blowing him. Think and then next thing, you know,
Speaker 1: the CD starts to you know, to see the player.
Speaker 1: It's like, okay, now it's time to go there, and
Speaker 1: it's like, no, this is just that I'd be hard
Speaker 1: pressed to see a guy. You know. Some guys don't
Speaker 1: like blow jobs either, which is not I would say
Speaker 1: there's a lot of women who don't like giving blow jobs,
Speaker 1: and I want to understand. Is it because it takes
Speaker 1: too long for them to come sometimes? Is it because
Speaker 1: it hurts your mouth because it's too big or something
Speaker 1: like that. Like to me, it's just the easiest way
Speaker 1: to get a guy off that isn't like putting it
Speaker 1: in your I think I don't know. I mean as
Speaker 1: a woman, as I would just rather be used in
Speaker 1: a hole that does not is not supposed to feel anything,
Speaker 1: as opposed to putting it in a hole that is
Speaker 1: supposed to feel something and doesn't. Like I hate when
Speaker 1: I'm having my vagina stimulated and there's nothing, there's no feeling,
Speaker 1: like I feel like I'm broken, as opposed to if
Speaker 1: I just did this with my mouth, which already does
Speaker 1: not have any sexual sensations inside it. I would rather
Speaker 1: just get that job done with my mouth because I'm
Speaker 1: and then that means like that's almost what I can
Speaker 1: offer you during that time, more so than any other time.
Speaker 1: But I think I've had to in the past communicate
Speaker 1: that like a blow job does not mean I want
Speaker 1: this in my vagina. And when I say I don't
Speaker 1: want it, like like it's not like, oh, I'm not
Speaker 1: ready it's like nothing is going to get me there.
Speaker 1: Do you think that people are just inherently selfish and
Speaker 1: they're like, well, if I'm just blowing you, nothing's happening
Speaker 1: to me. I'm not gonna have an orgasm. I'd rather
Speaker 1: just watch this show than blow you, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean. Like, I gotta say, women, if your husbands
Speaker 1: aren't getting blown or not getting up the house, they're
Speaker 1: going to something's getting blown. It's your head. Yeah, but
Speaker 1: they're gonna get They're gonna go. You can't deprive someone
Speaker 1: of a of a human need that they have and
Speaker 1: not expect them to cheat on you. And I hate
Speaker 1: to say that, it's like someone could never cheat. I
Speaker 1: know that's the worst thing ever, But what do you
Speaker 1: expect them to do? I think what do women expect
Speaker 1: men to do? They have an insatiable need to come
Speaker 1: and spread their seed, just jerk off the rest of
Speaker 1: their lives. But some women don't even like that. But here,
Speaker 1: I think, honestly, I think you won't him. I think
Speaker 1: the onus there's kind of being put on the woman.
Speaker 1: I think a lot of times guys are not vocal
Speaker 1: about like I would really love a blowjob. Instead we
Speaker 1: go let me go, you know, shoot guns instead of
Speaker 1: asking my wife for a blowjob, like like we're afraid
Speaker 1: to get rejected. I don't think it's like women. I'm
Speaker 1: not telling you, like, just do it even if you
Speaker 1: don't like it. That's not what I'm saying. Don't please,
Speaker 1: don't misconstrue my words. I'm just saying if you you know,
Speaker 1: I even say this is my friends who like, are
Speaker 1: in relationships and they don't get touched by their husband,
Speaker 1: And I'm like, well, then he should expect you. He
Speaker 1: knows that's a basic need of yours. If you've communicated
Speaker 1: that to him and he still can't do it, then
Speaker 1: honestly he should not be surprised when you go get
Speaker 1: touched by someone else. Dude, I've heard of relationships where
Speaker 1: they they're together, they lived together, no sex for over
Speaker 1: a year. No, I know that is nothing to what
Speaker 1: I've heard. Well, you've heard a decade, which is drown
Speaker 1: them up. That's wild over and we have people listening
Speaker 1: right now that are going that is nothing. I don't
Speaker 1: mean hate on you, just it just doesn't get It
Speaker 1: gets to the point where it gets so past a
Speaker 1: date where you can't even bring it up anymore. Anniversary
Speaker 1: is coming and you're like to do it this weekend?
Speaker 1: Oh yes, because usually it's sex is stopping because one
Speaker 1: of the people is not wanting it anymore, or maybe both,
Speaker 1: but I think it's usually one and the other person
Speaker 1: just feels what is worse than asking for someone for
Speaker 1: something that they don't want to give you? Oh God?
Speaker 1: And it's not like women like us. This is usually
Speaker 1: the woman thing, like the women being lessoned to it
Speaker 1: because our libidos are more, you know, at the behest
Speaker 1: of our fucking raging, weird hormones. And so I'm not
Speaker 1: saying like, just suck it up, literally and just do it,
Speaker 1: But like, how many things do you do in a
Speaker 1: relationship that you don't want to do because it's the
Speaker 1: nice thing to do. Why why do we think of
Speaker 1: touching someone or kissing someone or giving a blowjob is like, oh,
Speaker 1: that's you should never have to do that. I would
Speaker 1: think that, I would think guys don't want to take
Speaker 1: out the trash, but they do it. But I think
Speaker 1: or kill a spider for you, but on your down
Speaker 1: that go down on women without expecting with their CD
Speaker 1: being off is way lower than like girls just blowing
Speaker 1: guys like and not expecting anything then have a bigger
Speaker 1: sex drive and more need than women. Okay, I see,
Speaker 1: so so you think. Okay, so yeah, men, all right,
Speaker 1: That's what I That's what I hate is that every
Speaker 1: time I give something, I'm always with the generous lovers
Speaker 1: that demand that I get something back. They wanted to
Speaker 1: be a fair trade and they also like getting me off.
Speaker 1: It's part of that for them. But sometimes I do
Speaker 1: not want to come. It's not in my Sometimes I
Speaker 1: can push through, but there are a lot of times
Speaker 1: I do not want it, and I just want to
Speaker 1: be able to just give a blowjob. And that's been
Speaker 1: hard to communicate at times in my life because it's
Speaker 1: it also makes it seem like I'm not attracted to you.
Speaker 1: I just want to be this life. That's just like
Speaker 1: giving a blowjob just because you deserve it. But it's like, no,
Speaker 1: I like giving It's like giving a foot rub to someone.
Speaker 1: I like giving pleasure, even if I'm not getting any
Speaker 1: in return, that actually gives me pleasure. It's called compulsion.
Speaker 1: To give someone pleasure you get it gives you pleasure.
Speaker 1: So there you have it. Okay, let's take a quick
Speaker 1: break and come back with more. Andrew coming now with
Speaker 1: a kick cap. Remember that. Okay, we're back. Um, how's
Speaker 1: your day been so far? My day late in the day.
Speaker 1: I wake up early in the morning. You know, Brenda
Speaker 1: has the morning with a bottle of jack and uh,
Speaker 1: she had work in the morning. So I was telling,
Speaker 1: you know how I make her coffee. And it's like
Speaker 1: I pack her a little school one cute. I pat
Speaker 1: her on the head and what do you make? I
Speaker 1: cut up peppers for her, and I cut up like
Speaker 1: different things. I'll make her peppers. I let her smell
Speaker 1: a pepper and then I'd say, you could go out
Speaker 1: the window. Do you know that you can eat a
Speaker 1: pepper like an apple? What with the seeds? The seeds
Speaker 1: are I mean they're in the middle so you can
Speaker 1: bite into it, so you can eat them like a
Speaker 1: like an apple. You get some stairs kind of hard
Speaker 1: to cut, you know, there's always one slice that's kind
Speaker 1: of hard with how I love pepper so much? Oh
Speaker 1: you ever put it? I'm sure you don't. Maybe you
Speaker 1: did this. Put the vegan cream cheese in it with
Speaker 1: a little everything bagels. So good. It's a great meal. Um. Anyways, Yeah,
Speaker 1: so I've been a meal, but snack. Where's the protein
Speaker 1: in that? It's some way. So then I went and
Speaker 1: I hit golf balls. I got this place called Tower Tea,
Speaker 1: and they have like the most amazing set up there ever,
Speaker 1: like insane, Like they have all these different man's that
Speaker 1: keep track of like how far you're hitting it? And
Speaker 1: I just hit balls and it's my meditative. Where is that?
Speaker 1: Stop calling it meditative? I just can't meditative? What is
Speaker 1: the word? Am I wrong? No? It's not wrong. I'm
Speaker 1: just like the guys convincing themselves sports is I know
Speaker 1: it is. It's not that it's meditative. It's just like
Speaker 1: it's a thing. It's a leisure activity you like to
Speaker 1: do that makes you feel good. But it's a quarter meditative, okay.
Speaker 1: It puts you in a certain mindset where you're just honed,
Speaker 1: where you're doing something over and over again, you're very
Speaker 1: Just what do you think about during it? Do you
Speaker 1: think of golf? Or does your mind wonder everywhere? Literally
Speaker 1: I think and nothing other than the shot. That's why
Speaker 1: it's meditative to me. Oh yeah, yeah, that makes sense.
Speaker 1: Sometimes thoughts will create Why did you? Why did you
Speaker 1: go to this new place? And why have you never
Speaker 1: been there before? If it's amazing, I didn't know about
Speaker 1: it and someone told you know, sometimes you just don't
Speaker 1: know about the word amount the treasure right in your backyard?
Speaker 1: Where is it? Uh? How far of a drive? Off? Minutes?
Speaker 1: So bad? But um, yeah, no, I don't know. That's
Speaker 1: pretty much what I do. That's pretty much my life is.
Speaker 1: I just do that. I caught up some peppers and
Speaker 1: I hit some golf. I had sex last night and
Speaker 1: I had heartburn. And it's so funny, like as when
Speaker 1: you get older, instead of taking um bag or you
Speaker 1: take a sand attack the only way do you ever
Speaker 1: take anymore? Yeah? Yeah, I took one the night before
Speaker 1: and I had to bad heartburn and even fucking and
Speaker 1: Brenna called me out on taking a cat in the
Speaker 1: trash can. Then you got it right now. I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell Brenna to start digging in the trash
Speaker 1: because he's gonna start hiding it now. Oh yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna eat the whole rapper like a pepper, the seed.
Speaker 1: I saw your family the other day that yeah so wild.
Speaker 1: I just saw them today that it was so fun
Speaker 1: I bring to bring every single time isn't he so cute?
Speaker 1: He's the third kid. He's like he's born in November.
Speaker 1: He's he's a big, big, big baby. But he's so
Speaker 1: like his eyelashes are so long, and he's so happy.
Speaker 1: He's just like he's just a little rumpus. I love him.
Speaker 1: And then uh, Poppy and Arlow are it's I've got.
Speaker 1: They've gotten in this trend of like they know that
Speaker 1: I always bring them presents because you still keep so cheap. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I keep them all in my um in my trunk
Speaker 1: in my car, and then I have up drawer here
Speaker 1: so every time I'm anywhere, I just buy toys so
Speaker 1: that I always have something to bring them because I
Speaker 1: may be associated with. But then every time I come over,
Speaker 1: they nickie and they like ug me. And then Arlow
Speaker 1: starts just looking at my bags and like looking on
Speaker 1: the porch because I might leave something out there, like
Speaker 1: they know him. And then they open the present. They
Speaker 1: they make it start working. Then they start crying because
Speaker 1: it's not working the way they wanted to. It's just
Speaker 1: exactly how I used to do it. And then they
Speaker 1: want incanto put back on, and then they don't even
Speaker 1: think goodbye to me. When I go, I love you
Speaker 1: and I'm like kissing them no goodbyes, so I don't
Speaker 1: think I'm training them, right. They look at you like
Speaker 1: the guys like a valet parks your car like at
Speaker 1: a hotel and wants a tip, and you're just like,
Speaker 1: I just don't. It's like that awkward like and really
Speaker 1: like I don't care if you die in your car.
Speaker 1: I just want money. They just just I want them
Speaker 1: to associate me with presents because it's it's fun to
Speaker 1: get a presence and presence kids toys. I mean, you
Speaker 1: go to Target. I just I went to teach Max today.
Speaker 1: Before I went over there like this amazing squirk gun.
Speaker 1: I'm like, how can I pass it up? Like seven
Speaker 1: bucks for a barbie? I mean, kids don't care. I
Speaker 1: think I think the only problem you're going to run
Speaker 1: into is that. And I don't know why people do this.
Speaker 1: It's like they save it for birthdays, for Christmas or
Speaker 1: for leg After you do well in the honor roll,
Speaker 1: it's always like it has to be like you did
Speaker 1: something for this, as opposed to here's just a gift. No.
Speaker 1: People are because I love you and because I want
Speaker 1: to win by your love I'm not around enough to
Speaker 1: really get in there, and I don't like to play enough.
Speaker 1: So here's a toy. I went there dopamine to shoot
Speaker 1: up when they see me, and then every time they
Speaker 1: see me. Eventually Pavlov's dogs. Those kids are gonna be drooling.
Speaker 1: That's what I want. I But Bobby is so cute
Speaker 1: and she really reminded me of me today because I
Speaker 1: gave her this barbie and it was her first barbie, um,
Speaker 1: and it was a Mermaid. And I told my sister,
Speaker 1: you know, all barbies like give your daughter body dysmorphia,
Speaker 1: but at least this one is actually an unachievable thing
Speaker 1: for her, Like it's really more achievable than most barbies
Speaker 1: with legs, you know. So she she puts on the
Speaker 1: Mermaid fin, like the end of the fin because it
Speaker 1: needed to be like clipped on, and then all of
Speaker 1: a sudden, she's just like screaming because she wants it off.
Speaker 1: She wants it off, and it's just not right the
Speaker 1: way she wanted it came out of the package without
Speaker 1: the fin, and so she wanted it that way. And
Speaker 1: she's scraped, like crying, and I'm like, this toy has
Speaker 1: brought tear are into this child's life, and it reminded
Speaker 1: me of this barbie I got for Easter. And it
Speaker 1: was the one time I remember my parents really was
Speaker 1: the first time I remember them looking at each other
Speaker 1: like our daughter is special. Because the arial's hair was
Speaker 1: like crimped in this one part, like that her bangs
Speaker 1: were like a little too long and weird and just
Speaker 1: like it got bent in the packaging something because the
Speaker 1: hair is plastic. And I could not handle that. It
Speaker 1: wasn't perfect, Like I couldn't fucking handle it. And I
Speaker 1: took off my seatbelt and was just throwing myself around
Speaker 1: the van screaming. We were on the weights. It was
Speaker 1: for Easter. I got it, and we're on our way somewhere,
Speaker 1: and I was just and I just remember them being
Speaker 1: like pulling to the side of the road and like
Speaker 1: having a real like oh my god, and being like
Speaker 1: this isn't working. Whatever I'm doing is not working. They're
Speaker 1: not like giving me what I need. Whatever was doing,
Speaker 1: it didn't I don't know what I needed. Was there
Speaker 1: a perfect toy for you when you were a kid
Speaker 1: that just killed it, like a slinky or like something.
Speaker 1: Everything I always had was uh stained, I was trying
Speaker 1: to think of the band that the song. I was
Speaker 1: just mad that Ken's penis was so big, wasn't no, No,
Speaker 1: it was the jealous No. I realized that I just
Speaker 1: everything wasn't perfect. From the very start of my life.
Speaker 1: Things just my sister always got things that were nicer,
Speaker 1: like her dolls just looked nicer. If we got the
Speaker 1: same food, she had more on her plate. Like I
Speaker 1: always found a way where everything I got either had
Speaker 1: a smudge on it or And it's like the way
Speaker 1: my life still is like it's and I have to say,
Speaker 1: reading the book A Mother's Reckoning by Sue Clebold, I
Speaker 1: am very dyllan cleband like the kid the Quiet Killer,
Speaker 1: the one that was like he was a perfectionist as
Speaker 1: a child, and she said that he threw tantrums because
Speaker 1: like he would get embarrassed very easily, and if anything
Speaker 1: wasn't right, he would like scream and like couldn't handle it.
Speaker 1: And it was like he just had a perfectionism that
Speaker 1: led him to have severe suicidal depression that she didn't
Speaker 1: know about. And I'm like, I have never thought I
Speaker 1: would relate to one of the Columbine Killers. Maybe that's
Speaker 1: maybe why my fascination with it, not that I would
Speaker 1: ever do that. I've never been homicidal. I've never been
Speaker 1: I've been suicidal, not you know, and just ideations. But
Speaker 1: there's something about that, that perfectionism of like I and
Speaker 1: then when you scream about it and when you yell
Speaker 1: about it, and when you are like when I'm asking,
Speaker 1: like my parents, like my Barbie, like fix it, Like
Speaker 1: it wasn't them, there's nothing they could do about it.
Speaker 1: I just wanted them to acknowledge, like, your your bad,
Speaker 1: that's why you get these things. You're fucking not You're
Speaker 1: not as good as other people, You're not enough. Instead
Speaker 1: of being like, just be happy with what you are,
Speaker 1: I just wanted them to be like, yeah, you are gross.
Speaker 1: Like I wanted some acknowledgement of it, and then I
Speaker 1: think I could have been free of it. But of
Speaker 1: course I do don't want that. I don't know what
Speaker 1: it was, but um, when kids have perfectionism like this,
Speaker 1: because in this book she kind of gets into what
Speaker 1: that means, like when kids are when they lose a
Speaker 1: board game and they fucking flipped the thing and they
Speaker 1: freak out and they they they're sore losers. They over
Speaker 1: time there's nothing. There's nothing that will soothe you. So
Speaker 1: you just learned to just keep it all inside because
Speaker 1: it gets annoying to people that you're never perfect enough
Speaker 1: because no one knows what to say to you. There
Speaker 1: is nothing to say, so then you internalize it and
Speaker 1: internalize anger turns it is depression. I feel like I
Speaker 1: was almost the opposite of a as a kid, with
Speaker 1: like if I got hand me downs or whatever, Like
Speaker 1: I was too afraid to say I deserve that. I've
Speaker 1: never like been able to say that, and like I'm
Speaker 1: almost jealous of people that are like, no, I deserve
Speaker 1: to have this thing, you know what I mean? So
Speaker 1: as a kid, I never I got like hand me
Speaker 1: down lacrosse sticks and like hand me down cleats, and
Speaker 1: like my dad was a doctor. It's not like you,
Speaker 1: and I still wouldn't open my mouth or be able
Speaker 1: to I don't know what the hell was happening in
Speaker 1: my childhood that kept me from being like, don't speak up.
Speaker 1: Do you get new toys? I guess I guess we
Speaker 1: got some new toys. I remember getting, Like you know
Speaker 1: what kids love is those those automatic trucks, those remote
Speaker 1: control trucks ran cars. I love those as a kid
Speaker 1: jumping those off ramps, but usually I got a skateboard.
Speaker 1: I remember I was really excited, like, but yeah, presents
Speaker 1: were I don't know. Today do not like buying really
Speaker 1: nice clothing because I'll find some way that I picked
Speaker 1: the wrong one out of the five size mediums. I'll
Speaker 1: pick the one that is as a stain on it
Speaker 1: somewhere or has a stitch out, like sometimes I go
Speaker 1: through them all to find which one is the most perfect.
Speaker 1: And I know that no matter what I choose in
Speaker 1: the store, I will get at home and realize it
Speaker 1: is not right, that it doesn't look like that, like
Speaker 1: something will be off about it. So that's why I
Speaker 1: went to t J Max today and was like, I'm
Speaker 1: free to shop here because everything is looked up like
Speaker 1: everything there is made in factories children, so the stitching
Speaker 1: is all off. Maybe you start a brand where it's
Speaker 1: already come stained, like like that's the whole brain. Well
Speaker 1: there's this new luggage brand that because I'm really scared
Speaker 1: to get really nice luggage because I'm scared to get
Speaker 1: dented and I'll have that fucking fit again. Meanwhile, you
Speaker 1: had the one bag because I guess at that point,
Speaker 1: there's no expectation. There was like duct taped and there's
Speaker 1: no idea. It's disgusting. It can get so But there's
Speaker 1: this new brand of um luggage that's you know, like
Speaker 1: hardcase luggage and it comes pre dented, almost like a
Speaker 1: dirty pair of jeans, like with like that already, so
Speaker 1: that it already that's that's the style of it, And
Speaker 1: so you're only going to be contributing to the style
Speaker 1: of it, which I think is very cool and I
Speaker 1: want to get it. I love it, so there that
Speaker 1: should be the thing I get. I have staying with
Speaker 1: holes in them, you know, like already like ready to
Speaker 1: ruin your life. Oh you know what that reminds me? Um,
Speaker 1: if there's the best listening. We had two besties. You
Speaker 1: remember those two girls that came to a show one
Speaker 1: time and they were like freaking out. Um maybe yet
Speaker 1: know two girls that were backstage and one of them
Speaker 1: her dad was a doctor in Chicago. They made cue
Speaker 1: cards for like, they made like an outline, didn't they. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they did the whole thing for us. And it's somewhere
Speaker 1: in a bag somewhere, And if you're listening or her
Speaker 1: friend is listening, you offered me some services from your
Speaker 1: dad in Chicago, and just out of the kindness of
Speaker 1: your heart because you were my friend, if you can
Speaker 1: contact me, I would really appreciate it. Is this, This
Speaker 1: isn't bad, Noah, is it okay? Yeah? It was just
Speaker 1: it wasn't because of our show. It wasn't. It was
Speaker 1: because she was as like a best friend of mind
Speaker 1: that I can't remember her name, but she said that
Speaker 1: her dad would offer me something that I was looking
Speaker 1: into in Chicago, And if you are out there, will
Speaker 1: you please DM me because I forgot your name and
Speaker 1: I really want to take you up on that offer. UM,
Speaker 1: and then I'll tell you all about it after it happens. UM.
Speaker 1: I can't remember her name. I can't either, but I
Speaker 1: o her dad comes through on that thing. I think
Speaker 1: he will. I'll take a train of Chicago. Got another guy, No,
Speaker 1: there's this other Um, there's a UM. It's a separate thing.
Speaker 1: But I started following this plastic surgeon. UM. What's his name.
Speaker 1: I'll give him a shout out because he's been like
Speaker 1: wanting to be on the show. And I was like,
Speaker 1: we don't have guests or except like unless you were
Speaker 1: my best friend in high school. There ain't no chance
Speaker 1: you're coming on this ship. Do you steal anything? Have
Speaker 1: you robbed a train before in New Orleans? Um? Uh?
Speaker 1: And then this other guy hit me up about him
Speaker 1: he bought Oh Dr Ryan Ninstein, Dr Ninstein? Any I
Speaker 1: n like nine as in German Dr Ninstein? He um.
Speaker 1: I saw a girl like one of these tick influencers
Speaker 1: posted about like her body. She's like had this fucking
Speaker 1: perfect ass and perfect like Torso and she like body
Speaker 1: by like the gym, and and she was like an
Speaker 1: also liposuction and fat removal and be up um like
Speaker 1: by doctor nine side. And I was like, I love
Speaker 1: this girl's being honest about what's going on here, because
Speaker 1: she's a very skinny girl that could get away with
Speaker 1: being like I just work out and I eat right.
Speaker 1: And do you think he gave her percentage off? Do
Speaker 1: you think she was leaning into it? You know what
Speaker 1: I mean? Maybe maybe he gave her some kind of deal,
Speaker 1: but it doesn't matter. Like at least she was honest.
Speaker 1: I don't mind anyone getting I'm just saying, if you're
Speaker 1: getting dollars worth of like, i'd be honest too of
Speaker 1: you games well, I wouldn't say the doctor's name. But
Speaker 1: I would be so honest about it. If I got
Speaker 1: something done, I got a facelift, I would say I
Speaker 1: got a facelift, but if I paid for you know, so,
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to throw dents in your luggage. It's
Speaker 1: already dented. Um and uh he wrote to me because
Speaker 1: I posted it, and I started following him because he
Speaker 1: does like amazing work where you're just like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: he's before and afters and um. Yeah. And then a
Speaker 1: friend of his that I'm friends with like texted me
Speaker 1: today and was like, he he would love to give
Speaker 1: you complimentary services. I mean, not LiPo suction or anything
Speaker 1: like that. But I just I don't want to do
Speaker 1: LiPo suction. And we talked about this before because of
Speaker 1: the how rough they are. When I see them do it,
Speaker 1: They're going and it's turkey jerky and they stretch your skin.
Speaker 1: It's just like Jesus Christ, I don't want to go under.
Speaker 1: I don't know how that helps. I don't know how
Speaker 1: I want How did they learn that? You know? If
Speaker 1: I just beat the ship out of this with a
Speaker 1: metal rod, it's wild. Well, you you know, to become
Speaker 1: a doctor and to do surgery, you have to have
Speaker 1: some sort of like you know people, we talked about
Speaker 1: this before, but you know, empathy is such like everyone
Speaker 1: needs empathy and we love people with empathy. People need
Speaker 1: more empathy. We're not gonna have many doctors if you
Speaker 1: have too much empathy because to carve open a human
Speaker 1: person and to deal every day with people dying, if
Speaker 1: you had too much empathy, you would be destroyed. So
Speaker 1: we need people that don't have empathy to be able
Speaker 1: to do those things, to even deal with you know,
Speaker 1: animal rescue, like the things those people. I could never
Speaker 1: do that stuff. I mean my dad was a cancer
Speaker 1: doctor like that was so he probably lacked a bah. Well,
Speaker 1: I complain he goes a cancer and I'd be like sorry,
Speaker 1: I mean that's kind of a joke, but kind of
Speaker 1: not like like you know, things were put in perspective.
Speaker 1: He saw someone die an hour ago, and his son's
Speaker 1: complaining about an old lacrosse stick. It's like, you know,
Speaker 1: I think I think there was ways where I think
Speaker 1: he was probably shut off because of what he had.
Speaker 1: Stage is your lacrosse stick four? That's why I need
Speaker 1: a new one, dad, And he's like, well, just we'll
Speaker 1: just give it some chema and we'll get you back
Speaker 1: out there. My dad had breast cancer. That was why. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean when he got it, was he like, well,
Speaker 1: well he's got them big fat titties. But he did
Speaker 1: he have Do you think do you feel like he
Speaker 1: had like a less like grave? Uh? You know, no more.
Speaker 1: I think I think more the truth of it. Well,
Speaker 1: here's the thing. He felt it himself. He self diagnosed himself.
Speaker 1: That's kind of wild. That's how he found it. He
Speaker 1: actually found it in the showers. So maybe huh yeah,
Speaker 1: maybe he was trying to puff up or like tweak
Speaker 1: his puff. Well, he just started lifting again. He started
Speaker 1: working out because feeling his own facts, he's feeling himself
Speaker 1: stop it. Oh my god, that just scared me. Andrew
Speaker 1: acted like he felt a lump inside his chest. That
Speaker 1: really didn't scare me, So so he right away new
Speaker 1: time means everything with this ship. So he went. He
Speaker 1: had a missectomy within like days of feeling his and
Speaker 1: it didn't get to the limbs. Do you ever want
Speaker 1: to get one just to get rid of those puffs? Uh?
Speaker 1: Do you have the gene that? Oh? I mean we didn't.
Speaker 1: Maybe we'll find out. Yeah, I mean, I'm sure I have.
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't have great genes. When he comes
Speaker 1: to cancer. I mean it's in my family, in the
Speaker 1: butt and the tits. I'll probably get in the cock
Speaker 1: or something. I will look like ken. So my dad, though,
Speaker 1: he dealt with it in the best way ever, because
Speaker 1: he got his boob removed and we're all like stressed
Speaker 1: out and stuff. He was like, oh, son, well he
Speaker 1: didn't go oh my baby boy, oh dear son. He
Speaker 1: was like, it helped my golf. He goes, I wish
Speaker 1: I got the other one removed, so then my golf
Speaker 1: swing would be better. Oh yeah, because small titted women
Speaker 1: do better in golf. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and big tit
Speaker 1: men don't do well. Any tiny tiny men do well
Speaker 1: in f one and a jockeying, and they do well
Speaker 1: in golf too. And so he was talking about how
Speaker 1: you'd make the senior Tour, and it was just a
Speaker 1: way to look at it like this pretty you know,
Speaker 1: tough thing to go through. There's always a right side, yeah,
Speaker 1: I think. I mean, I don't know about like with
Speaker 1: genocide and stuff, but I feel like even the other day,
Speaker 1: we were like checking into the wrong hotel and we
Speaker 1: had to wait, and it had been the longest travel
Speaker 1: day and it was like, I was so annoyed and
Speaker 1: like apologetic to Chris because I'm like, I pulled him
Speaker 1: along on this. It's just been the fucking biggest ways
Speaker 1: of our time all day long. And he was like,
Speaker 1: and then we end up having to be at the
Speaker 1: other hotel. I'm like, I cannot. But we wake up
Speaker 1: in the morning, I'm like, I can't believe last night
Speaker 1: all of that was for nothing. We could have just
Speaker 1: gone to the w and been an amazing odel room
Speaker 1: and slept and he goes, but we wouldn't have run
Speaker 1: into Rachel Einstein. That was really special for you and me.
Speaker 1: And I was like, it wasn't cancer cancer. I mean,
Speaker 1: and then someday it will be. And then you go, well,
Speaker 1: at least it's not. I mean yeah, because I mean
Speaker 1: eventually it gets you. I think that if you live
Speaker 1: long enough, like humans, we can I've heard that our
Speaker 1: brain like they could probably like we're going to keep
Speaker 1: living longer and longer. But the problem is you'll eventually
Speaker 1: the odds are you'll get cancer or your brain We'll
Speaker 1: just like you can't that they can't keep our brains
Speaker 1: as youthful, so your body, but like eventually around a hundred,
Speaker 1: your brain searched just and everything, like you could look. Yeah,
Speaker 1: people be looking younger than ever right now. It's crazy.
Speaker 1: It's so wild. Okay, we gotta take a break and
Speaker 1: we'll come back with Reddit Dumb. We're back. Let's get
Speaker 1: to the news and just skip right to why do
Speaker 1: I Care? Why do I care? Okay, Well, I had
Speaker 1: to include the story in the news because, um, we
Speaker 1: got a lot of besties chiming in wanting to hear
Speaker 1: your opinion. All right, The celebrity with the worst private
Speaker 1: jets CEO two emissions I know is actually Taylor Swift
Speaker 1: of words by the marketing agency The Yard said that
Speaker 1: Taylor's jet flew a hundred and seventy times in the
Speaker 1: first two hundred days of the year. This is more
Speaker 1: emissions in just seven months than und average people would
Speaker 1: put out in the in a year. And there's been
Speaker 1: an update as of this morning. She said that it's
Speaker 1: mostly not her and it's been loaned out. That's from
Speaker 1: her rep to BuzzFeed. But today, no, she has not
Speaker 1: been on tour. No, you think I'd be here if
Speaker 1: she was on tour. And um. Pictures have surfaced from
Speaker 1: July five, before the report came out of Taylor Swift
Speaker 1: coming out of her private jet hiding herself under a
Speaker 1: huge umbrella. Okay, so she has used it. Yes, here's
Speaker 1: the private jets. They are. Private jets are terrible for
Speaker 1: the environment, they are, yes, But my thing is every
Speaker 1: American I'm not gonna say every American of people. If
Speaker 1: you were Taylor Swift and could afford a private jet,
Speaker 1: you would do it too. I mean every It's so
Speaker 1: easy to put your finger and go like, how could she?
Speaker 1: You have never been on a private jet. You don't
Speaker 1: know what it's like to be a celebrity where and
Speaker 1: neither do I where everything you everywhere you go is
Speaker 1: just hell and like everyone's bothering you and if you
Speaker 1: aren't nice to them, you have to your label to
Speaker 1: fucking cunt um. I listen, she is what I think
Speaker 1: she should do. Because I saw this and I was like,
Speaker 1: this isn't gonna be good, but it's gonna be good
Speaker 1: for me because I might see Taylors on to the
Speaker 1: airport because she is definitely going to correct this. I
Speaker 1: really do not not south glad that I might see
Speaker 1: her on like a Delta or United or even an
Speaker 1: American in the middle eating peanuts like I'm just like
Speaker 1: you guys, don't touch me. Yeah, no, she's not going
Speaker 1: to be a group. C Wait, if you saw her
Speaker 1: on your flight, what would you do? Would you go
Speaker 1: up to her? It's a great question. I would just
Speaker 1: I would do what I instruct everyone to do with
Speaker 1: the celebrity. I would just say I love you, and
Speaker 1: then I would just walk on and I'd say thank you,
Speaker 1: I love you and thank you for everything, and then
Speaker 1: go on my way, because you know what, any part
Speaker 1: of me going up to her and giving my energy
Speaker 1: of like I love you so much, like I can't
Speaker 1: like it's going to take something from her now. This
Speaker 1: is listen to besties that meet me when I do
Speaker 1: a meet and read, I'm asking for that, Like that
Speaker 1: is me putting myself there for you to bring that
Speaker 1: energy to me. But in public and I and listen,
Speaker 1: I'm not as famous as Taylor stuff, so I just
Speaker 1: and I don't have as much work to do as
Speaker 1: she does in terms of like writing songs and stuff
Speaker 1: to me me. I know she would be so sweet
Speaker 1: and go like oh thank you and like oh my god,
Speaker 1: that's so nice. That energy she has to give me
Speaker 1: is sucking her creative force out and is going to
Speaker 1: lead her to be able to maybe work less that day.
Speaker 1: Put less energy into songwriting, put less energy into her
Speaker 1: friends and her cats and the things that she loves,
Speaker 1: like she doesn't need to have to like scaffold my
Speaker 1: fucking falling. Like but this is exactly why she would
Speaker 1: put she'd rather instead of dealing with that, put CEO
Speaker 1: two into Yes, that's exactly why. I mean, she's doing
Speaker 1: it because she doesn't want to deal with meeting people
Speaker 1: because it's constant and if you don't be nice to people,
Speaker 1: they will write about you and word will spread that
Speaker 1: you're bitch. And like Taylor does not want to be
Speaker 1: a bitch. It's weird too to be Like, if she
Speaker 1: is renting it out, I mean, then you're gonna get
Speaker 1: mad at every airline because an airplane forty million dollars
Speaker 1: or whatever it is, like you need to you get
Speaker 1: a return on your investment. It's like an airbnb, you're
Speaker 1: getting money, Like what are you doing? Like it's not
Speaker 1: like she's flying hundreds so many times, Like I'm actually
Speaker 1: getting my pilot license, like she doesn't. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: could imagine if most of her trips. By the way,
Speaker 1: we're to St. Louis wife her flights, and the thoughts
Speaker 1: are that her mom has relatives here. Ohs to Missouri.
Speaker 1: I don't know if they said St. Louis specifically, but
Speaker 1: to Missouri Taylor's plane is land and all the ding
Speaker 1: name time. But I mean, I really, I there's I
Speaker 1: know I'm a Taylor swypt apologist through and through, but
Speaker 1: there's a part of me that feels really bad for
Speaker 1: her because you know, this all came up of like
Speaker 1: how terrible it is for the world a couple of
Speaker 1: months ago when Kylie or like a month ago and
Speaker 1: Kylie Jenner got busted. That's why they even lead them
Speaker 1: to do these reports to see what celebrities are burning
Speaker 1: the most fuel. And it's so bad. And that's I
Speaker 1: saw al Gore in a Southwest is the big person
Speaker 1: that everyone's But this is again the like, well then
Speaker 1: but you did this, you know, like this is again
Speaker 1: the classic like gates everything she's done for the LGBTQ
Speaker 1: community and negates everything she's done for like women's rights.
Speaker 1: Oh well, it negates everything she's done. Maybe even about
Speaker 1: like you know, um, supporting Democrats in her state. Oh
Speaker 1: oh you really care about the environment. Look what you did.
Speaker 1: It's like both can be true. This is the Amber
Speaker 1: heard Johnny Depp thing like it doesn't have to be
Speaker 1: like just because she's a little hypocritical in this way,
Speaker 1: in a way that she probably didn't really understand the
Speaker 1: impact of and once she does, because she is a smart,
Speaker 1: compassionate person, she will correct it. And that's why I'm
Speaker 1: excited to see her in line at um, you know,
Speaker 1: to get some carrots and hummus at the Alta Lounge.
Speaker 1: Yeah they I mean, look, if she was flying to
Speaker 1: fucking too Loom every weekend, I'd be like she should
Speaker 1: fucking you should spit on her. Yeah. We need an
Speaker 1: underground railroad for celebrities now. Yeah, but even that, um
Speaker 1: there there, I mean, who knows you're gonna that's the
Speaker 1: poll quote that someone says where they're like Nicky Glazer
Speaker 1: makes uh slavery uh joke about like, oh, mocks abolitionist
Speaker 1: the abolitionist movement by making joke about Taylor Swift and
Speaker 1: how celebrities need to do the same thing slaves did
Speaker 1: to free themselves, and then I would be like, you
Speaker 1: don't even know when Nicki Glazer does for Taylor Swift
Speaker 1: and you don't even know how fucking dumb she is
Speaker 1: and doesn't really understand what the underground railroad is. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean you think it's literally like wanting to do. Oh,
Speaker 1: Carmen Lynch was wanting to do a joke about that.
Speaker 1: Remember when we were backstage and she was like, I
Speaker 1: really did think I'm trying to do Carmen Lynch that
Speaker 1: the underground railroad was the underground was an actual railroad. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: until now, all right, let's get to Reddit karaoke mode.
Speaker 1: This is your redit. Dum he I love the okay um.
Speaker 1: I liked this. This was kind of like a thing
Speaker 1: going around on redditt the past. Cople days is the
Speaker 1: first time I saw it. It said it was from
Speaker 1: ask new NYC subreddit where they just asked questions about
Speaker 1: New York and said I'm looking for a poor quality
Speaker 1: yet expensive restaurant to suggest to an enemy any suggestions.
Speaker 1: So is the one that like probably thinks that this
Speaker 1: person doesn't hate them ask them for a restaurant suggestion,
Speaker 1: and so people go, um. Someone said, haven't heard the
Speaker 1: best reviews of Cipriani downtown. Someone said Nello on Upper
Speaker 1: East Side. It's unimpressive bistro food catering to wealth, very
Speaker 1: wealthy people who all know each other and your enemies.
Speaker 1: Bill will be astronomical. The New York Times negative critique
Speaker 1: of it is the funniest restaurant review I've ever read. Um,
Speaker 1: let's just take a look at this review and see
Speaker 1: why it's so funny. I mean literally in New York
Speaker 1: that you could send them to Olive Garden in Midtown
Speaker 1: and it's so expensive. Oh that's a good one. But
Speaker 1: then they but they wouldn't go there, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean? Um? Okay, I found this was really good.
Speaker 1: The review was on a pay wall, so I couldn't
Speaker 1: bring it up. Okay. This is from the subreddit Too
Speaker 1: Afraid to Ask? How do obese people have sex? How
Speaker 1: do people who weigh around or over four fifty pounds
Speaker 1: or two have sex? Kilo's Um, can they have sex
Speaker 1: in the traditional sense? I mean, no disrespect with this question,
Speaker 1: Just curious. That reminds me of f boys. They was like, like,
Speaker 1: no disrespect with all respects, Like I just think that
Speaker 1: you're a snake. Okay, Um, and I found this answer
Speaker 1: really interesting and perfectly visual. A friend of mine who's
Speaker 1: an O B G y N, had a pregnant patient
Speaker 1: who was quite large and also quite forthcoming with details
Speaker 1: about her sex life. Per the patient, she would lie
Speaker 1: on her back. She and her partner would lift her
Speaker 1: excess skin using a broomstick held horizontally across her abdomen.
Speaker 1: Then she would hold onto the broomstick and pull up
Speaker 1: while he went to town. I thought that was very
Speaker 1: innovative and I liked it a lot um. But what
Speaker 1: if he was as overweight? I think he just couldn't
Speaker 1: get on his knees and eat, you know, like I
Speaker 1: was picturing. Yeah, maybe two brooms. Someone said, have you
Speaker 1: ever watched someone put eye contacts in? They kind of
Speaker 1: awkwardly hold open one island with one finger and the
Speaker 1: other with a different finger, then try to shove the
Speaker 1: lens in with another, hoping they don't drop the lens
Speaker 1: or let go of an eyelet or poke themselves in
Speaker 1: the eyeball. It's like that but with your naughty bits.
Speaker 1: I thought that was interesting. Okay, um, this was from
Speaker 1: Cool Guides. That's it's like a visual guides for like
Speaker 1: cool things. Cool guides g U I D E. S.
Speaker 1: And this was about rescuing a dog, and this is
Speaker 1: really important. So if you are someone you know is
Speaker 1: about to rescue a dog. There's a rule in the
Speaker 1: UM rescue trade called the three three three rule. So
Speaker 1: three days. It takes three days for your rescue dog,
Speaker 1: usually who's traumatized by past, by being in a shelter,
Speaker 1: or by their past trauma three days. Give your dog
Speaker 1: three days before you take them back, because they need
Speaker 1: to decompress. They're feeling overwhelmed, they may feel scared, unsure
Speaker 1: of what's going on. They're not comfortable enough to be
Speaker 1: their self. They may not want to eat or drink,
Speaker 1: and they shut down or hide or under furniture. Okay,
Speaker 1: within three weeks, give your dog three weeks to learn
Speaker 1: your routine. Allow than three weeks to start settling in,
Speaker 1: feel more comfortable, realize this could be home forever, figure
Speaker 1: out their environment, get into a routine, let their guard down.
Speaker 1: UM and they said behavior issues may start to appear.
Speaker 1: Three months is when the dogs to start to feel
Speaker 1: at home, finally feels comfortably comfortable in his home, begins
Speaker 1: to build trust in a true bond, gains a complete
Speaker 1: sense of security with his new family and sets into
Speaker 1: a routine three three three do not return your rescue
Speaker 1: dog if you really want to see it through. Because
Speaker 1: when I got Luigi, I really did think. The first day,
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm being kind, I'm being soft, I'm
Speaker 1: being gentle. Why won't this dog fucking like me? I cried.
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm bad at this, I'm never I
Speaker 1: was already looking into finding him a new foster home
Speaker 1: because I just didn't want him to be miserable. I thought,
Speaker 1: if something is wrong with me, it wasn't. I just
Speaker 1: needed to wait, and he just needed so the three
Speaker 1: three three rule. Um. I love that dogs don't give
Speaker 1: it up right away. I really do. Like, I mean
Speaker 1: not be that they're tortured and they but I like
Speaker 1: that you have to earn it a little bit, like
Speaker 1: I don't know, it just makes the bond that much better.
Speaker 1: Um um, this is from ask women. Yeah, I think
Speaker 1: you're right to like you have to earn it. Yeah.
Speaker 1: The same with cats. I mean cats, sometimes you never
Speaker 1: give it up. When when we got him, he was
Speaker 1: so he he was already adopted. The dog that they
Speaker 1: adopted was trying to kill him, so he was like
Speaker 1: afraid of everything. He went under behind the fridge for
Speaker 1: like four days, like I don't know, so eventually he
Speaker 1: came out and now he's like hates me in different ways.
Speaker 1: But okay, um, this one is from ask Women. It says,
Speaker 1: what is the thing you saw other women doing that
Speaker 1: you thought was so stupid and now you do it
Speaker 1: and it makes perfect sense. Someone said, I didn't think
Speaker 1: it was stupid, but seeing women be really rude or
Speaker 1: mean to men seemed unnecessary. But now I realized you
Speaker 1: kind of have to shut their advances down fast or
Speaker 1: else they just keep trying. Interesting. I will say that
Speaker 1: I used to see women on TV shows just hearsay
Speaker 1: like demand things from their boyfriends or nag or like
Speaker 1: even seeing my mom be like, e J, you need
Speaker 1: to take the trash like that kind of tone, or
Speaker 1: like I don't like get off me, or I don't
Speaker 1: like when you do this. Oh you're watching this again,
Speaker 1: like being bitches or nags. And I never understood how
Speaker 1: you could do that because then they'll just leave you.
Speaker 1: It isn't the point is now that you would do it?
Speaker 1: You know? Now I realized that that yes, they went
Speaker 1: too far with it. But having boundaries and being like
Speaker 1: I don't like when you do this. I feel like
Speaker 1: you haven't been doing a lot of this around the
Speaker 1: house or like that stuff. I would have my first
Speaker 1: relationship with Chris, like I look at ourselves as having
Speaker 1: at least four relationships. My first two years with him,
Speaker 1: never complained about anything, never once ever. If he hurt
Speaker 1: my feelings, if he you know, I felt abandoned by him,
Speaker 1: if he said something rude that he didn't like, I
Speaker 1: would never say anything because I was so scared he
Speaker 1: would leave me be and so and then the first
Speaker 1: time I did have a complaint, he did leave me.
Speaker 1: So it's like then it validated everything. But his my
Speaker 1: complaint was a boundary that I had that was important
Speaker 1: to me that I didn't know he couldn't give me.
Speaker 1: And so he respected himself by saying like, well, I
Speaker 1: can't give you that, and if you need to be
Speaker 1: with someone that wants that, I thought he was just
Speaker 1: gonna cave and give it to me, which was like
Speaker 1: saying I love you, and he was like, I don't
Speaker 1: say that, and I don't. I waited, and then it
Speaker 1: was like I need I need you to say I
Speaker 1: love you because I thought that's all you do is
Speaker 1: like someone's got to say it first. I was like,
Speaker 1: he's not gonna say it first, Okay, fine, I'll say
Speaker 1: it first. And then he didn't say it back, and
Speaker 1: he was like, I just don't not going to I
Speaker 1: don't feel it, so I'm not going to say it.
Speaker 1: And I was like, well, I need to be with
Speaker 1: someone who says it, and I thought that would get
Speaker 1: him to do it, and he still was like, well,
Speaker 1: then you need to be with someone else, and I
Speaker 1: was like, oh fuck. And then we had to break up.
Speaker 1: And so then when we got back together, I was
Speaker 1: even more stringent about not asking for anything because I
Speaker 1: was scared that, you know, he wouldn't. He was going
Speaker 1: to be his own person and stick by what he
Speaker 1: you know, like you started know he said, that's what
Speaker 1: he said. He was I'm enthusiastic about being with you
Speaker 1: final thought. But now he says, I love you all
Speaker 1: the freaking time almost. Yeah, it's awesome. He says it constantly. Now.
Speaker 1: Uh that that's what leads me to believe that someone like,
Speaker 1: do not get back together with your ex boyfriend if
Speaker 1: they haven't changed, or if you haven't changed, like that
Speaker 1: is a good like if you broke up for a
Speaker 1: reason like stay apart. But if you've taken time apart
Speaker 1: and you feel like you're different people, absolutely get back together.
Speaker 1: You have a good foundation obviously of something and yeah,
Speaker 1: it's the best. I recommend it. Okay, this is something
Speaker 1: other the thing. Let's get back to the top. What
Speaker 1: is the thing you saw other women doing that you
Speaker 1: thought was stupid and now you do it and it
Speaker 1: totally makes sense. Moisturizing using sunscreen. I realized when I
Speaker 1: was twenty eight, I don't want to look like an
Speaker 1: old leather handbag by the time I'm thirty five, and
Speaker 1: I want men to buy me old leather handbags. So
Speaker 1: I'm going to keep moisturizing, asserting dominance against males. I
Speaker 1: need to know, Oh, I need to do it now
Speaker 1: because I'm an engineer and I worked with old conservative
Speaker 1: men in their fifties. Okay, Um, opening their mouths when
Speaker 1: putting on mascara or eyelander, that ship helps and works. Um.
Speaker 1: A lot of parenting things, says one woman, most notably
Speaker 1: kids on a Leashuh. Someone said, taking your bra off
Speaker 1: to go to bed no joke, Like I thought, why
Speaker 1: would I? Why would I? Let these things flop all
Speaker 1: over themselves in my sleep. And now I understand that
Speaker 1: bras are terribly uncomfortable, and I'm genuinely confused by how
Speaker 1: tolerating wearing one. I tolerated wearing. I used to do
Speaker 1: that too, used to wear brawl every single night to
Speaker 1: bed because I wanted to keep those puppies in place.
Speaker 1: But then they kind of atrophy because they don't they
Speaker 1: don't have any they don't have to build muscle to
Speaker 1: support themselves, and then they get even more sloppy. Um okay, uh.
Speaker 1: This is a really cute thing from made me cry.
Speaker 1: If you ever in the mood to just read really
Speaker 1: touching things that won't make you sad, they'll just make
Speaker 1: you feel like made me cry, It says. I told
Speaker 1: my five year old that I had tried to be
Speaker 1: an opera singer but couldn't cope with the stage fright. Today,
Speaker 1: my husband sent me this, and it's a it's just
Speaker 1: like the child's drawing of a stage and two people
Speaker 1: on the stage, and then little dots, little circles for
Speaker 1: all the audience members and the two stick figures. He says,
Speaker 1: by the way, the husband wrote with us, By the way,
Speaker 1: I don't know if you saw this picture she did
Speaker 1: of you in her You're on stage together in front
Speaker 1: of an audience, and the stuff coming out of your
Speaker 1: mouth is opera and it's just like a bunch of
Speaker 1: stuff coming out. It's the cutest child's drawing. Um. And
Speaker 1: then this is from sex subreddit. I bought my husband
Speaker 1: a sex toy and now I'm jealous of it. My
Speaker 1: husband and I have a great sex life and we
Speaker 1: are very open. I am bisexual and he is straight.
Speaker 1: He loves buying sex toys for me and using them
Speaker 1: on me. There's really never a time we don't have
Speaker 1: intercourse where he does not use a vibrator on me.
Speaker 1: As well. We have bought in penis pumps in the past,
Speaker 1: which we both would really enjoy because they would kind
Speaker 1: of get him ready for action. And Andrew, you know
Speaker 1: about penis pumps. But for a few weeks he has
Speaker 1: been hinting about wanting to buy this vibrating sleeve. It's
Speaker 1: not that I didn't want him to buy it. I
Speaker 1: just didn't have didn't get around to it. Yesterday we
Speaker 1: finally did, and he was excited about it all day.
Speaker 1: I was too, so later on after the kids were asleep.
Speaker 1: We started fooling around and I asked him if he
Speaker 1: would like to try it out. When it came time
Speaker 1: to use it. His reaction to do it was so
Speaker 1: obviously better than anything I've ever done for him. His
Speaker 1: thrusting into it and the moaning it did not turn
Speaker 1: me on to see it. It actually kind of made
Speaker 1: me feel sick. I pretended to come so he would too,
Speaker 1: and then quickly told him I was tired. I hardly
Speaker 1: slept though. All I kept thinking about was his reaction
Speaker 1: to this vibrating silicon toy and the horrible effect it's
Speaker 1: having on me. I want to move past this. I
Speaker 1: have never felt this way before from sex. She had
Speaker 1: an update. I spoke with my husband about it, and
Speaker 1: he totally understood where I was coming from past relationships.
Speaker 1: He has felt a little intimidated by toys, and he
Speaker 1: doesn't want me to feel that way. He offered to
Speaker 1: throw it out, but I told him, no fucking way.
Speaker 1: We're trying it out again tonight. Also, thanks so much
Speaker 1: to everyone who advised me to speak with him and
Speaker 1: gave me some icebreakers on how to appurchase subject. This
Speaker 1: is why it's so nice. And then they have a
Speaker 1: link to the toy. So many of our listeners are like,
Speaker 1: what is the It's from targets. It was a great marketing.
Speaker 1: It's called the Cake Vibrating Stroker Rechargeable Massaging Toy by
Speaker 1: al and I. I am getting this. This is amazing.
Speaker 1: Okay it looks like embryo. Yeah, it looks like a
Speaker 1: goldfish cracker. Umget. I love that we're that far in
Speaker 1: things where it's like it's on Aisle four. Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: rained the next to the fucking fake mouth that you fuck.
Speaker 1: I can't believe they sell these a Target. They have
Speaker 1: a lot of good stuff. It's by Cake, they brand Cake.
Speaker 1: I mean I lost my mind when CVS had dick
Speaker 1: vibrating like holders for your cock. Yeah yeah, I just
Speaker 1: never I just didn't know that they were in there.
Speaker 1: I never was looking. I guess I wasn't having that. Also,
Speaker 1: just wrap your CBS for seat around your dick and
Speaker 1: it will it will get so with all the winding
Speaker 1: up of it that it'll be a good stroker. You
Speaker 1: haven't been a queen in a while, Oh yeah, Princess
Speaker 1: or miss CVS is just drape it across myself like
Speaker 1: I a pageant Queen's fun. It's one little thing to
Speaker 1: do at CBS. If you ever get a paper Taylor
Speaker 1: Swift of machines, Yes, Nikki Glazer waste so much paper. Yes,
Speaker 1: but I didn't buy it all. It wasn't for me.
Speaker 1: I was loaning out my shopping. It's just so funny.
Speaker 1: Taylor never does anything wrong, and so I know she's
Speaker 1: spiraling about this. My thoughts are with the figure it
Speaker 1: out you guys love so many more episodes and speaking
Speaker 1: exactly too dropping off food Africa. She'll find a way out,
Speaker 1: she always do. Um. We have two more episodes this week.
Speaker 1: I'll be in Los Angeles tomorrow for the next two,
Speaker 1: but we will be here for you. I hope you listen.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for listening. We love you. Busties,
Speaker 1: Topka and Sheen in those sunglasses alok, they're actually prices
Speaker 1: are going down.