Speaker 1: You're listening to Comedy Central. Wow, what's up? Here's edition listener,
Speaker 1: It's Josh Johnson, right for the Daily Show. You're about
Speaker 1: to here an episode of one of our original Daily
Speaker 1: Show podcasts, hold Up, hosted by me and Daily Show
Speaker 1: correspondent duels Say Sloan. It's where we take our office
Speaker 1: banter into a weekly war words about topics big and small.
Speaker 1: In this episode, we debate online versus in store shopping.
Speaker 1: We chat about which one we think is a better
Speaker 1: shopping experience, which one has better customer service, and where
Speaker 1: we're likely to spend our money. Tune in to find
Speaker 1: out which side of the debate we each land on,
Speaker 1: and if you like the show, check out the hold
Speaker 1: Up podcast wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, everybody, welcome
Speaker 1: to Hold Up. I'm Josh Johnson. I'm a writer for
Speaker 1: the Daily Show, and I'm joined by my co host,
Speaker 1: The Fact, the legend, the menus. I don't know what
Speaker 1: fact meant, the fact that you said the fact, The
Speaker 1: factor says slow. You have to keep it now information, Joshua.
Speaker 1: Now you are a writer on the Daily Show. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna corresponded, but I didn't want to say you happy
Speaker 1: New Year. Me grow. Oh yeah, happy New Year. Happy
Speaker 1: mo fucking new Year. Now listen. One of my friend
Speaker 1: was like, oh, this year should be great because it's
Speaker 1: our Jordan year. Does that mean I guess that was
Speaker 1: his number? It was his number, but a lot of
Speaker 1: there have been a lot of athletes in the history
Speaker 1: of sports that have not done well with the number
Speaker 1: twenty three. I understand it is going to be some
Speaker 1: people's Jordan year, but you can't tell me anyone that's
Speaker 1: ever put on the number twenty three jersey for football,
Speaker 1: for you know, basketball, well, you know, and everyone people
Speaker 1: turned thirty three, they're like, oh, it's your Jesus year.
Speaker 1: Just died and came back on the third day. That's
Speaker 1: why we have a whole religion insa. They're like, oh,
Speaker 1: is your Jesus. I don't think anything happened. No, it
Speaker 1: was a pretty big year for him, But yeah, I
Speaker 1: don't think it means something has to happen for me
Speaker 1: every time. I don't think. Yeah, like, I don't even
Speaker 1: remember what year that was when I was thirty three,
Speaker 1: so nothing could have happened because I don't think it
Speaker 1: would pop out to you. Yeah, yeah, like I don't
Speaker 1: remember when I did it. Uh yeah, twenty sixteen, all
Speaker 1: twenty sixty. Well, twenty sixteen is when I moved to
Speaker 1: LA and I was really doing stand up full time,
Speaker 1: so I guess it did do a thing. Hey, you
Speaker 1: are really out here everything that full Jesus year I
Speaker 1: was reborn, you know what I mean, because I stopped
Speaker 1: into a different lifestyle, truly, because I was you know,
Speaker 1: I was able to stop selling stucco, stopped doing bilingual
Speaker 1: customer service. If you motherfucker's email me again. I remember
Speaker 1: one day and when um, I was taking a nap
Speaker 1: m and I got a call from this woman and
Speaker 1: she's called from a temp agency, yeah, offering me a job.
Speaker 1: I said, ma'am, I'm not available for this job. And
Speaker 1: I tried to hang up the phone and she wouldn't
Speaker 1: let me. I guess they really needed a bilingal customer
Speaker 1: service age. I was like, ma'am, I don't even live
Speaker 1: in Georgia. I like how you tried to hang up,
Speaker 1: and she the idea that she didn't let you, the
Speaker 1: idea that you were about to hang up, and that
Speaker 1: she's on the other end, Like, I guess you're just
Speaker 1: gonna let him die then, and then like, you're like, wait,
Speaker 1: what what does that mean? Because she was like, because
Speaker 1: she was getting an attitude with me, and that's what
Speaker 1: I was not understanding. M. I don't know how. I
Speaker 1: don't live in the state of Georgia anymore. M was
Speaker 1: not of a viable answer, so like, an't even Georgia.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry you can you take me off your list
Speaker 1: or whatever? She's like, I mean, I just don't understand it.
Speaker 1: And I just went Google me and I hear Google you,
Speaker 1: I said, because I had time now, M, and we've
Speaker 1: made a part that day, right, Sloan, I don't oh,
Speaker 1: oh okay, yeah, I see what you mean. Thank you
Speaker 1: think I'll take you off your list? Thank you saying
Speaker 1: congratulations about your successes and thank you so much. Yeah
Speaker 1: you know, you know you always turned someone into a friend,
Speaker 1: right or a swan Because something came up through the
Speaker 1: other days of Colic and he was like, hey, don't
Speaker 1: say arch Nemesis, and I was like, whoa, whoa to
Speaker 1: be your nemesis, I have to know your last name,
Speaker 1: which is what an arch Nemesis would say. Though to
Speaker 1: be fair, that's a that's high. You can't you can't
Speaker 1: be like I don't know you well know, to be
Speaker 1: your arch nemesis, that's one thing. But the way you
Speaker 1: said it was exactly how an arch nemesis would say it.
Speaker 1: Because I was like, Sir, I really don't have it.
Speaker 1: And then he said something slick, and I said, you
Speaker 1: know what, let's go. You want a nemesis. Oh I'm
Speaker 1: not because I just I didn't want Honestly, I just
Speaker 1: don't care enough to be his arch nemesis. Yeah, you
Speaker 1: know what it feels like. Uh, And for the listeners,
Speaker 1: we're gonna get into the episode in a second. But
Speaker 1: what what it feels like being your friend and watching
Speaker 1: you move through the world and also watching you tell stories.
Speaker 1: It feels like when you're telling me the thing. This
Speaker 1: is now the confessional booth from when the thing happened.
Speaker 1: But sometimes you'll tell me about a thing and I
Speaker 1: don't know if you forgot I was there, but I
Speaker 1: saw it happen. So then now you're telling me your
Speaker 1: friend you weren't. I wasn't there when you were talking
Speaker 1: to him. But I've been there before when you've told
Speaker 1: me about things, and maybe I was in the background,
Speaker 1: or maybe I was at the club and you didn't
Speaker 1: know but like like the way that I'll see the
Speaker 1: thing happen, but then you tell me later. By the
Speaker 1: time it's in my head, it's like I'm watching Big Brother,
Speaker 1: and so you'll be at you'll be somewhere and so
Speaker 1: it'll say something and that you'll be like, don't try me.
Speaker 1: Then you'll tell me about the thing, and you'll be like,
Speaker 1: and so what's going through my head in the moment,
Speaker 1: I was like, you get the confessional, It's it's the
Speaker 1: full edit in my head. Wow, talking about selling stucco.
Speaker 1: And you've brought us right into our topic today for
Speaker 1: the listeners. Today we're doing online shopping, yes, versus in
Speaker 1: store shopping. Okay, hallelujah. And I want to shout out
Speaker 1: real quick because we got this episode topic from someone
Speaker 1: on Instagram leaving a comment. Because when you leave your comments,
Speaker 1: when you when you make your tweets and your hashtag
Speaker 1: hold up and when you comment on things under The
Speaker 1: Daily Show's page that have us on them, we do
Speaker 1: see them and we appreciate all of them. And so
Speaker 1: we saw this with i'd be a great topic. So
Speaker 1: shout out to I'm gonna try to say it right,
Speaker 1: but it's a handle so I feel less bad about mispronunciation. Um,
Speaker 1: ab chess or ninety two is where we got this from? Two? Yeah,
Speaker 1: there must have been ninety one other ab chessers. No,
Speaker 1: just when they were born friends. Oh, yep, you're right,
Speaker 1: you're right. Maybe we could that part out. I'm not
Speaker 1: looking up that. I remember I had boobs when this
Speaker 1: man was born, not a person. M hm. Anyway, what
Speaker 1: side of the argument do you land on? Of course
Speaker 1: I'm in store shopping, you're in store. Okay, all right,
Speaker 1: this is this perfect thing I'm still weary about. Yes,
Speaker 1: Amazon has my shit, right, Amazon has a credit card information,
Speaker 1: but I don't like it. Yeah, I don't like that.
Speaker 1: Now every website wants to store your card in a wallet, everybody,
Speaker 1: because like I remember when the Internet started, and what
Speaker 1: people don't realize was what I had a conversation with
Speaker 1: the money the other day and I was like, you
Speaker 1: know the noise that the Internet used to make? Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: the Internet used to be loud. They put that noise
Speaker 1: in because they didn't believe people would believe if they
Speaker 1: didn't have any noise. But my question is why was that?
Speaker 1: Why are a group of adults sit in a room
Speaker 1: I just did on those sales. I think it's because
Speaker 1: what ended up happening was they were looking for sounds
Speaker 1: to make it sound like the computer was doing something right,
Speaker 1: and they needed to make people think that computer was
Speaker 1: putting in work all right. And those are the most
Speaker 1: stressed out sounds I've ever heard come out of a machine.
Speaker 1: So they did. They did right by their endeavor. When
Speaker 1: you would get this CD ROM from AOO and it
Speaker 1: would go, you have this many hours of Internet? Could
Speaker 1: you imagine now somebody's saying to you you can only
Speaker 1: be on the Internet for thirty hours total, and then
Speaker 1: you have to buy more. It was a pay as
Speaker 1: you go internet. We'd live in a better world, to
Speaker 1: be honest with you, if there was a limit, if
Speaker 1: there was a limit on Twitter, if you could only
Speaker 1: do Twitter for twenty minutes, Oh we have to really
Speaker 1: chill out. Well, remember when Facebook used to stop? So
Speaker 1: Facebook in two thousand and five, when I got on Facebook,
Speaker 1: which is okay, good God, good Jesus above. I got
Speaker 1: on Facebook in two thousand and five. Do you understand
Speaker 1: it's twenty twenty three before Facebook? Because I think when
Speaker 1: you were talking about this one day, everybody who updated
Speaker 1: their status you you're friends with, you'd see all all
Speaker 1: of that and then that was it, and then you're like, okay,
Speaker 1: I finished Facebook. Oh so it would stop for you,
Speaker 1: Like it would be like that's all we got, right,
Speaker 1: So say I'm friends with two hundred people, Yeah, I
Speaker 1: for only thirty people updated their status or many people
Speaker 1: I knew. You'd scurorel to the end and it's like
Speaker 1: and we're done for today. My Space is the same thing.
Speaker 1: You remember how my space worked, whatememb Being a somebody's
Speaker 1: top eight was a big deal. What I'm saying is
Speaker 1: that the irons to be enough. It used to be enough.
Speaker 1: And I remember when you didn't put your real name. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: when everybody's email address was pony Girl seven, you know
Speaker 1: sixty two or you know wrestling Maniac eighty eight. My
Speaker 1: favorite handle to date is I was playing VR and
Speaker 1: I met this guy playing VR and his handle was
Speaker 1: Ferrari sixty nine. You know it. Good Jesus, Oh, good Jesus,
Speaker 1: because something happened. Something happened when the email came out
Speaker 1: and all of a sudden, all of us had to
Speaker 1: be professional business accounts, like business emails. Yeah, like no
Speaker 1: one had a silly like, uh, my Hotmail account was
Speaker 1: deuced in a quarter, which is my nickname? Yea. My
Speaker 1: Yahoo account was do say two thousand? Do say also
Speaker 1: my nickname and the two thousand because it was literally
Speaker 1: the year two thousand at Yahoo dot com. But for
Speaker 1: some reason, when these Gmail email addresses came out, we
Speaker 1: all got really everyone started using a real name. So
Speaker 1: me coming from the era of you know, black plan It, MySpace,
Speaker 1: college Club, Me, Henty Asian Avenue, all of these silly
Speaker 1: ass websites because my stace is really just trying to
Speaker 1: teach us all how to code and so coming from
Speaker 1: the air where you didn't use your real name on
Speaker 1: the Internet, And now all of my credit card information
Speaker 1: is just stored by con Ed the fuck. No, I
Speaker 1: don't need Forever twenty one to keep my credit card information.
Speaker 1: I don't need Rainbow Clothing stores to have my credit
Speaker 1: at all times. I remember when it Rainbow. If you
Speaker 1: were going to pay with a debit card, you had
Speaker 1: to show them I D and if the back of
Speaker 1: your card wasn't signed, they wouldn't take it. Look, you
Speaker 1: know who already has your credit card information ready to
Speaker 1: go if you use it enough, if you're a loyal
Speaker 1: customer online stores. But that's what I don't like. I understand.
Speaker 1: But if these stores are doing it, what's the difference.
Speaker 1: It's I prefer an arm. I'll tell you this. If
Speaker 1: I go in a store, it is beneficial for stores
Speaker 1: to me to go in a store, because I'm gonna
Speaker 1: buy more ship if I'm in a store. For the
Speaker 1: fact that you've gone in a target. Yeah, you've never
Speaker 1: gone to a target and not spent two hundred dollars
Speaker 1: I I but yeah, no, I you got a good job.
Speaker 1: Like when I didn't have the job I have now,
Speaker 1: or I could usually walk into a target get exactly
Speaker 1: what I was gonna get. Why do you close one eye?
Speaker 1: I mean get exactly wink wink what I was. Yeah,
Speaker 1: if I came in here for a person some cheap
Speaker 1: ass ear rings, I'm getting a person some cheap ass earrings,
Speaker 1: maybe a snack, and I'm the fuck up out of here.
Speaker 1: Now I'm a target, Like, what's this? A little like
Speaker 1: cheap ass actually with a little goofy shit in the
Speaker 1: front that no one knows what it is. But you
Speaker 1: still want to buy it, that dumb shit because you need,
Speaker 1: because I need, because but if I'm on the internet,
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna see these little impulse buys. I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna see this pack of gum at the register. There's
Speaker 1: no pack of gum at the register and an online store.
Speaker 1: You see what I'm saying. Sure, sure, I'm with you.
Speaker 1: But my biggest rebuttal to that is that sometimes you'll
Speaker 1: go in the store and they don't have what you want.
Speaker 1: Sometimes you will call ahead and ask them specifically if
Speaker 1: they have what you want, and they really don't feel
Speaker 1: like doing all that walking, and so they'll lie and
Speaker 1: say they have what you want. And you get there
Speaker 1: and they have what you want. An online store will
Speaker 1: tell you up top, we ain't got any the one
Speaker 1: you like. It's not here, and we'll let you know.
Speaker 1: We'll send you an email when it gets here, but
Speaker 1: for today, don't waste your time. That's why that's why
Speaker 1: you go to the online store, see if they have it,
Speaker 1: and then go to the store. Okay, but this is
Speaker 1: and this brings up an interesting point because what you're
Speaker 1: talking about is a bit of a of a hybrid
Speaker 1: situation using everything the pros of everything, which I am
Speaker 1: a huge fan of. But if we're talking real like
Speaker 1: real debate, okay, like real dire straits. And there are
Speaker 1: some stores that don't have an online website, and there
Speaker 1: are some websites that have no physical location. If you
Speaker 1: had to choose between the two of those, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean, I feel like we'd still land with picking.
Speaker 1: I'm picking when I go walk in because one one,
Speaker 1: if you are a business that does not have a website,
Speaker 1: will you interact with people? Fuck are you doing? Fuck
Speaker 1: are you doing? When I see restaurants that don't have websites,
Speaker 1: I'm like, why I meant did say something? But Matt
Speaker 1: Richards said something to be interesting the other day. You've
Speaker 1: never seen a Chinese food restaurant commercial? Yeah, no, because
Speaker 1: people know you just don't know. People know to come through,
Speaker 1: and they know when to come through because McDonald's that
Speaker 1: commercials for years. Yeah. But McDonald's is trying to sell
Speaker 1: you on something that's not as timeless as Chinese food
Speaker 1: gimmick because because Chinese food, what they do so well
Speaker 1: is that a bunch of places, over the whole of
Speaker 1: our lives, as long as we've been eating Chinese food,
Speaker 1: we know that for every Chinese restaurant out there, there
Speaker 1: are some staples that they will have, and so there's
Speaker 1: a shared language there that even though all of Chinese
Speaker 1: food is very different and all of the different restaurants
Speaker 1: are not a chain, we still know generally how to
Speaker 1: navigate based on having been to several Chinese restaurants, whereas
Speaker 1: with McDonald's, McDonald's might come to your country, they might
Speaker 1: be like, hey, have you ever heard of a big mac?
Speaker 1: Let me tell you about a big mac. You know,
Speaker 1: Chinese restaurants, they don't need to be like have you
Speaker 1: ever heard of chicken? That's not necessary. I'll tell you this.
Speaker 1: We all saw the mcgriddle. We were like, wow, Wow,
Speaker 1: how did they come up with the technology? Right? Wait,
Speaker 1: what the mcgriddle? It's a pancake with the syrup on
Speaker 1: the inside. Yeah, they put sanza egg and cheese in
Speaker 1: the middle, and we're like, this is crazy. How did
Speaker 1: they do this? And then twenty sixteen, I mean the
Speaker 1: Beautified Higway Farmers Marketing Beautifed Highway Georgia in Atlanta, and
Speaker 1: I see this Korean street food. Oh so they've been
Speaker 1: jocket Korean street food this entire time. It's a fucking ploy. Wow,
Speaker 1: it's the same if I were Korea I go, I
Speaker 1: go after him. I'd be like, hey, hey, I'd walk
Speaker 1: into any McDonald's in America be like, hey, and me
Speaker 1: my money. Stop the presses, Okay, cease and the motherfucker sessed.
Speaker 1: Stop pressing anything to the grill. Y'all can't afford today,
Speaker 1: all right, because I'm suing everything. I still hate putting
Speaker 1: my credit card information into the internet. I barely like
Speaker 1: looking at my bank information anywhere. I don't like it.
Speaker 1: I don't. I've never liked it. I understand it's super
Speaker 1: fucking convenient, it's great. PayPal still freaks me out. All
Speaker 1: of this ship still freaks me out. I know that
Speaker 1: they can still your information like Target had, Like yeah,
Speaker 1: Target got got but they yeah, they didn't have that leak.
Speaker 1: They had that full on spill. That was it was.
Speaker 1: It was, that was everybody. It was, It was about
Speaker 1: these It was if you don't know what we're talking about.
Speaker 1: Target had like a big hack and a lot of
Speaker 1: people's credit card numbers and like a lot of their
Speaker 1: information got for every if you want, if you thought
Speaker 1: about Target, your information got fucking leaked. Yeah it was,
Speaker 1: and it was in the I think the millions of customers,
Speaker 1: so everything really bad. I think had the same thing happened?
Speaker 1: Question did I'm always like, with these hackers, instead of
Speaker 1: stealing credit card information, just hack Sally May one time.
Speaker 1: I guess you could do both, because then here's the
Speaker 1: thing both. I understand you got to get your money. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because niggas in the mask that get up in the anonymous. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Anonymous ain't hack Sally May order Freddie Mack. Yet also
Speaker 1: we talk a lot about Sally. Maybe we don't never
Speaker 1: talk about Freddie Mack, and I don't like that. I
Speaker 1: think that what's happening with anonymous is that they are
Speaker 1: more focused on like global issues, and like the like
Speaker 1: economic issues will quickly get them caught. I don't think
Speaker 1: they'll be as anonymous if it like if they leak
Speaker 1: something from wiki leaks or something like that, if someone
Speaker 1: says something that on WhatsApp that's like hateful, it might
Speaker 1: lead to the you know, the persecution of a bunch
Speaker 1: of people. They jump in there and they're like, hey,
Speaker 1: this is this person by the way, just so you
Speaker 1: know they did it, and especially if they can uncover it.
Speaker 1: I think that when it comes to the economic stuff,
Speaker 1: especially like student loan stuff, I think they know that
Speaker 1: they would get got so fast that they're like, we
Speaker 1: don't need those problems. Oh, because there's not enough VPNs.
Speaker 1: You can't jump off enough servers. No, No, America does
Speaker 1: not play with money. No, she never has because I don't,
Speaker 1: which I always thought was interesting because my mother told
Speaker 1: me anything, if you want to change anything in America,
Speaker 1: you fuck with the white man's money because you've come
Speaker 1: for someone's money. Hey, this is we're playing a different
Speaker 1: game now, Like if you're playing politics, it's like some
Speaker 1: nothing may come of anything. Right, people can talk and
Speaker 1: talk and talk all day, like a lot of what
Speaker 1: if you look at some of the stuff Anonymous has done,
Speaker 1: A lot of it started as like truly pranks and
Speaker 1: like things that were sort of taking the piss out
Speaker 1: of you know, politicians and stuff. Money is you gotta
Speaker 1: be real careful because America's a business. America's a business
Speaker 1: first and foremost. Yeah, I think people forget. I think
Speaker 1: some people when they were in school, they weren't paying
Speaker 1: attention enough to realize that America is a business has
Speaker 1: always been a business. I don't think online shopping could
Speaker 1: have popped anywhere like it did here anywhere, but here
Speaker 1: like America is so business orient convenience oriented. I don't
Speaker 1: think that online shopping would have had the same effect
Speaker 1: because it's like, I know there's times from just like
Speaker 1: I need to do exit. And that's not only the
Speaker 1: online shop. It's like when you think about like just
Speaker 1: Uber Eats or something like that, Like the other day
Speaker 1: it was like, hey, I need some stuff from the
Speaker 1: drug store. I truly do not have time. What if
Speaker 1: someone just brought this to my house. The fact that
Speaker 1: there when I was a kid, that wasn't a thing
Speaker 1: because we had stopped doing like pizza and Chinese food
Speaker 1: got delivered. You had to go to McDonald's. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: everything betweets and Chinese food delivered. Everything else you had
Speaker 1: to go pick up. New York is different just because
Speaker 1: if everybody went to McDonald's, yeah, the whole thing. If
Speaker 1: everybody went to go get what they needed in New York,
Speaker 1: the city would shut down. There's too many humans in
Speaker 1: the street, so you needed. I think online shopping has
Speaker 1: it's benefits, but the thing that's but the cons are
Speaker 1: so you know, I went on vacations last month and
Speaker 1: I needed a new babe in suit as my mamma
Speaker 1: cause it and I ordered a bunch of bathing suits
Speaker 1: because they don't we don't sell bathe suits in the wintertime, yeah,
Speaker 1: in department stores. So I had to order a bunch
Speaker 1: of bathing suits off of Bezos's Internet. I now have
Speaker 1: eleven bathing suits that I have to return. And you
Speaker 1: can't just go to because before Amazon would come to
Speaker 1: you if you had to return something. They don't do
Speaker 1: that anymore because they realize that people are lazy enough,
Speaker 1: well they'll forget to return something and then they just
Speaker 1: don't wrap the refund people. They just have the money.
Speaker 1: So now I have until the thirty first to return
Speaker 1: eleven bathing suits that don't fit. And that's I think
Speaker 1: is the pitfall with online shopping because now if something
Speaker 1: doesn't work, if something doesn't fit, now I have to
Speaker 1: go to the Whole Foods to find the Amazon locker
Speaker 1: to return this fun I bought a tea kettle from
Speaker 1: fucking Amazon fresh out the box. Did not work. I
Speaker 1: don't have someone else return it. I think at a
Speaker 1: shorter return window or a misster return window, because I
Speaker 1: think the emailed me and they were like, hey, we
Speaker 1: charge you, and I was like fuck. But I was
Speaker 1: on the road and again. And that's the thing. If
Speaker 1: you don't return it, you bought it. Okay, So I
Speaker 1: promise you right now, these eleven bathing foods, Oh, they're
Speaker 1: going the fuck back. I'm with you. I'm in full
Speaker 1: support of everything that you said just now as a
Speaker 1: con because I accept them as cons of online shopping.
Speaker 1: This is this is where I think that online shopping
Speaker 1: is a bit superior in that we don't give credit
Speaker 1: to online shopping for the things that in store brick
Speaker 1: and mortar stores do that ends up being online. So,
Speaker 1: for instance, with online shopping, hey, we will let you
Speaker 1: know when the thing is back in stock. You'll get
Speaker 1: an email from us as soon as the thing is
Speaker 1: back in stock, and we can send it to you.
Speaker 1: If you're at a brick and mortar only store and
Speaker 1: they don't have what you want, they're not calling you
Speaker 1: a week from now to be like, hey, by the way,
Speaker 1: we got it. Maybe a comic book shop will do that.
Speaker 1: That's the only person I've ever had hit me up
Speaker 1: after I've been in there looking for something specific and
Speaker 1: then left my info with them, and then they hit
Speaker 1: me up and they were like, hey, we we got it.
Speaker 1: If you want to come back through right aspect when
Speaker 1: I was a little Yeah, all right, so say keep
Speaker 1: going yeah um yeah. Now now if they don't have
Speaker 1: what I want, I just leave. I don't tell them
Speaker 1: to content me. Hey listen, I don't need it that
Speaker 1: bad now, Okay. I was like Josh Johnson walking in
Speaker 1: at thirty two years old, being like, yeah, I need
Speaker 1: the Superman number eight hundred and sixty five. Yeah, paragraph, um, paragraph,
Speaker 1: the idea. The most assultic thing about that whole like
Speaker 1: rant you just went on was that I'd buy just
Speaker 1: the paragraph. You know what. They had the new Man Boy,
Speaker 1: the New Spider Man, the boy that came out to
Speaker 1: Miles Morales. This is my question. If the daddy black
Speaker 1: and the mama Puerto Rican, and the daddy is there,
Speaker 1: how is his last name Morales? Is the daddy also Latino?
Speaker 1: I mean maybe he was mad at his daddy, you know, baby,
Speaker 1: he's like, hey, I go with maiden names when you're
Speaker 1: not acting right, Okay. Because I saw that and I
Speaker 1: was like, Okay, that's awesome. It's a whole Afro Latino family.
Speaker 1: And they're like, no, the dad's black and the mom
Speaker 1: is Puerto Rican. So I'm like, is this his stepdaddy. Look,
Speaker 1: I'm I'm not gonna lie to you. I haven't kept
Speaker 1: up hard. I haven't listen when there's like a because
Speaker 1: he's like in a multiverse, right, when there's a spider
Speaker 1: pig and all kinds of shit, right, you might be
Speaker 1: asking the wrong one. I'm is that not your universe?
Speaker 1: It was not. I liked it growing up, but I
Speaker 1: have not read Spiderman in quite a while. I think
Speaker 1: that I just used it as an example because to me,
Speaker 1: there are things that we think brick and mortar stores do.
Speaker 1: There are actually aspects of online shopping, and I think
Speaker 1: that you gotta pull that over. If we're splitting it
Speaker 1: down the middle, you gotta push that couch on my side,
Speaker 1: because the notifications and the recommendations are you're gonna get
Speaker 1: those mainly online. You might go into a brick and
Speaker 1: mortar store and find a sales associate passionate enough to
Speaker 1: help you find the right top for you, the right
Speaker 1: pants that look good, that's not just trying to upsell you.
Speaker 1: You might find that genuine person. They're out there, but
Speaker 1: there's a higher likelihood that, based off what you like,
Speaker 1: a website will pick something else that you might like
Speaker 1: and be right, but I'll say this, what I really
Speaker 1: need need something, it's not on a store, it's not
Speaker 1: on the end. It's sold out. When I really need something,
Speaker 1: it's never there. No. I really needed some black flats O.
Speaker 1: The store didn't have them. They had to mail them
Speaker 1: to me. I needed a new purse, store didn't have it.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna have probably have to find one a line,
Speaker 1: like a real leather purse, because my friends have shaved
Speaker 1: me and told me that I can afford a real
Speaker 1: leather purse because at one point my other purse was peeling.
Speaker 1: So they're like you making yeah, yeah, you have a
Speaker 1: good job, your purse can't be peeling. Um, But I've
Speaker 1: it's very rare. I go into a store and I'm
Speaker 1: just like, black leather purse, it's what I need. It's
Speaker 1: it's like it's a lot of times I can't find
Speaker 1: what I want anyway. So going into a store, it's like, hey,
Speaker 1: you know what, I didn't find what I wanted. I
Speaker 1: didn't find what I needed, but I found something that works. Oh,
Speaker 1: I just realized another thing, another pro for online shopping.
Speaker 1: When you're online shopping, do you mean food or stuff? Um,
Speaker 1: I guess I was thinking just stuff for this episode. Okay,
Speaker 1: because I had them delivered grocery, I did, Amazon delivered
Speaker 1: groceries to me. Yeah. Yeah, I never want another human
Speaker 1: being to pick up my fruit or meat ever again.
Speaker 1: Oh really, I never want another person to pick up
Speaker 1: my produce or my fruit or my meat again. Wow?
Speaker 1: Ever again? Yeah, I've realized while you were talking before.
Speaker 1: Another pro, especially for us of online shopping. Nobody follows
Speaker 1: you in the store. You know it's following you through
Speaker 1: the internet. Yep, yep, you're really just out here, free
Speaker 1: to shop in peace, in bed, in pajamas. Maybe it's snuggie, Yeah,
Speaker 1: doing that experience in a brick and mortar. Roll up
Speaker 1: to a brick and mor store with a snuggie right, No,
Speaker 1: their stories you can walk through with his nail. There
Speaker 1: are some, but try just walking through a store without
Speaker 1: getting looks, especially depending on the store. There are people
Speaker 1: who use the internet to find the dress they want
Speaker 1: to wear for their wedding. Roll up to a wedding
Speaker 1: stress store with a snuggy. Odd, they won't even let
Speaker 1: you try stuff off. They'll be like, no, no, you're
Speaker 1: clearly going through something. No, you clearly it's musty under
Speaker 1: that snuggie broe. Being musty is one of the cardinal
Speaker 1: sins of black people. Yeah, it really is. It's like
Speaker 1: it's one of those things where it will change your
Speaker 1: whole view on the person. Like someone could be giving
Speaker 1: a lecture at a university, but if you pass them
Speaker 1: and they got they got that, you know that that smell,
Speaker 1: that's it's bo but it's also choked, like they've been
Speaker 1: choking stink all day. Like you can tell they put
Speaker 1: on extra layers so the stink wouldn't get through if
Speaker 1: someone smells that on you, no matter what your lecture
Speaker 1: was about there, Like I bet you you were wrong.
Speaker 1: I bet you not as smart as I thought you
Speaker 1: were because you sting. We are so funny about smelling good. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I will even have I've had the thing where this
Speaker 1: is really unfair because you know, you know about pheromones, right,
Speaker 1: I love pheromones, but they will. But the thing is
Speaker 1: because you don't have any siblings, right, No, there's something
Speaker 1: that happens when you're a teenager, and I probably this
Speaker 1: is probably just nature yours, especially like a brother to
Speaker 1: a sister or just a brother or just a son.
Speaker 1: Boys when they go through puberty smell like a family member.
Speaker 1: Male smell terrible. Yeah, my brother fresh out the shower,
Speaker 1: remember mother yelling at him, being like what the fuck?
Speaker 1: And he's like, I just took a shower. Pe you.
Speaker 1: I don't it must be all right, but yeah, tell
Speaker 1: about your phaomones. Doctor put it. It's not my pheromones.
Speaker 1: It's a it's a thing I witnessed. I was. I
Speaker 1: think I was playing. I was. I was like playing
Speaker 1: soccer with some people. And afterwards, uh, we met up
Speaker 1: with some friends and they were all talking about so
Speaker 1: we all stink from running around in the sun and
Speaker 1: like trying to score goals and stuff like that. And
Speaker 1: there was this dude who was already good looking, but
Speaker 1: the way that the that the women in that group,
Speaker 1: we're trying to get near him, and we're talking about
Speaker 1: how good he smelled when he was gone, when he
Speaker 1: was in the bathroom. I was so upset because I
Speaker 1: know that they were going off those pheromones he was
Speaker 1: dropping from, you know, just having rippling muscles, maybe muscles
Speaker 1: sweat different and I have no idea, but the way
Speaker 1: that they were gone about the farebats, I was like
Speaker 1: this dude can't be good looking and have good stink sweat.
Speaker 1: That's not fair. I'll tell you that. I saw a
Speaker 1: study one time where they took it was like a college.
Speaker 1: They had just women just wear T shirts like before
Speaker 1: their cycle, during their cycle, and after their cycle. And
Speaker 1: they gave these T shirts to men, like you know,
Speaker 1: college age boys, and they were like, smell these shirts.
Speaker 1: How attractive do you think the person is? And they
Speaker 1: tracked that right before the menstrual cycle, of course, is
Speaker 1: where all these men were like, yo, who was this person? Yeah?
Speaker 1: She smelled like a good person. Yeah, she smells like
Speaker 1: she's beautiful. I am someone who had to have planned
Speaker 1: be delivered to me, and that that is a blessing.
Speaker 1: The other benefit of an online store no lock up.
Speaker 1: You're not going to Walgreens hitting the button, wait for
Speaker 1: somebody to shut like run by and be like which
Speaker 1: one do you want to get, and then unlock the
Speaker 1: thing and then pull it out for you online shop
Speaker 1: and you just add the cart. Honestly, when are we
Speaker 1: gonna just make the whole store that? Yeah, it's almost there.
Speaker 1: It's like the only thing they haven't locked up is
Speaker 1: the chips. When they started locking up baby formula. I
Speaker 1: was like, this country's trash. We have a little bit
Speaker 1: of pride where when someone comes here and talks about
Speaker 1: how trash we are, we get defensive. But it's so
Speaker 1: funny when I travel and I'm like, oh, y'all don't
Speaker 1: in the street. Y'all don't like it's like you don't
Speaker 1: even have a way to bridge two ideas. Like I'm
Speaker 1: being in the UK, like being in London and going
Speaker 1: on like their Walgreens which was called Boots, and I
Speaker 1: was like, nothing was locked up. Now it was nothing
Speaker 1: locked up. They'll get few recommendations. This this thing I
Speaker 1: liked because when we were in London and I remember
Speaker 1: I had to get that um I got something because
Speaker 1: I had hurt myself, right, so I was trying to
Speaker 1: get some real pharmacy. We went to a real pharmacy
Speaker 1: and there was just one day that was like, look
Speaker 1: it's Russian. I don't know what it says, but it works,
Speaker 1: Russian tailing all. Yeah, she gave those Russian tail at all.
Speaker 1: And I was like, wait, so are you saying like
Speaker 1: is this over the calendar or is this She's like
Speaker 1: it's a little strong, Like I was like, she was
Speaker 1: like how much she what hurts here. None of the
Speaker 1: package was in English. None of the package was in English.
Speaker 1: I don't even know how she knew what she was
Speaker 1: telling because when I was in the Bahamas, one of
Speaker 1: my friends had lost her in Hailer and another friend
Speaker 1: of the bugs were just really eating her up and
Speaker 1: she was having a bad history interaction. And our chef
Speaker 1: told us to go to the pharmacy, and she's like,
Speaker 1: just tell them you need to do in Hailer and
Speaker 1: just and she just gave her and in Haler just
Speaker 1: Albuterol and Hailer, and then gave my friends some other
Speaker 1: prescriptions strength. And I'm just like, oh, yeah, back in
Speaker 1: this day, you used to be able to go to
Speaker 1: a pharmacy and go, hey, here's a problem. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: Will says a good point. That's the thing that I
Speaker 1: think the concession I can make is that brick and
Speaker 1: mortar stores have better customer service than online shopping. Because
Speaker 1: online shopping they don't want they don't even want you
Speaker 1: to call. They won't tell you. You'll have to google
Speaker 1: the number. You'll google the number for a place that
Speaker 1: has a store that should have the number on the website.
Speaker 1: You can't call Amazon. Yeah, you can't, there's no number.
Speaker 1: Amazon has no customer service. And for as large as
Speaker 1: that company is, as someone who worked customer service for
Speaker 1: like twelve years, a fact that a company that big
Speaker 1: doesn't have customer service is insane. It shouldn't be legal.
Speaker 1: It shouldn't. I can't call Where is my waffle iron?
Speaker 1: That up? It's not updating? I got kids in here.
Speaker 1: I'm supposed to be, haven't top of the line four
Speaker 1: Bernard top waffle iron trademark by waffle House Waffle irons
Speaker 1: brow It comes with a fight in every box? Yeah,
Speaker 1: where is? There's no one to call? As soon as
Speaker 1: you open the box, you get a punch in the face. Truly,
Speaker 1: And a convict is cooking your eggs m hm because
Speaker 1: he's good at it, right, delicious? Delicious? Where the fuck is?
Speaker 1: You can't call? You can't call Amazon and find out
Speaker 1: you're not? Yeah, you're not wrong, So I think it's
Speaker 1: not kicked us over to the listeners. Did we make
Speaker 1: valid points? I think we made a few. I think
Speaker 1: we made at least two weeks each a loose to each.
Speaker 1: Tell us what you think? Do you think online store
Speaker 1: or in store shopping? I'm gonna be in store shopping
Speaker 1: all the way because I like to touch the feel
Speaker 1: of cotton, the fabric of our lives. You know, I
Speaker 1: see what I'm saying. I I'm gonna I'm gonna be
Speaker 1: online shopping because I care about the future, and I
Speaker 1: think that there's even more innovations to be made. I
Speaker 1: think we've taken the brick and more store as far
Speaker 1: as it's gonna go. I think that everything that's coming
Speaker 1: for the future of shopping is gonna be online. So
Speaker 1: you know what needs to happen, you know how like
Speaker 1: food trucks when they get to a point, they could
Speaker 1: do brick and mortar store. Yeah, we need you remember
Speaker 1: the bookmobile when you were a kid. Yep, that's what
Speaker 1: we need to start doing with these trucks. Mob the stores,
Speaker 1: baby girl. Okay, Yeah, pull up in your neighborhood with
Speaker 1: the essentials. This sounds like the most kidnappable store I've
Speaker 1: ever heard. You're gonna roll up and they'd be like,
Speaker 1: come on in and get your supplies, and then you're
Speaker 1: just gonna close the van and drive off. It's like
Speaker 1: it could be like a bookmobile situation, or it could
Speaker 1: be like an ice cream truck situation. We pull up,
Speaker 1: you see the pictures on the side, Like, yo, let
Speaker 1: me get some toilet paper, let me get some paper towels,
Speaker 1: let me get some dishwashing liquid, let me get some diapers,
Speaker 1: let me get some tampons, cat food, and I'm out.
Speaker 1: Just roll up in your neighborhood, Okay, I mean yeah,
Speaker 1: I think I mean that would be the evolution of
Speaker 1: the brick and mortar store. I think that's the next
Speaker 1: step because, like say, someplace like here, people gotta go
Speaker 1: to the train. People gotta do this again, Like, could
Speaker 1: you imagine if a mobile, if just J. C. Penny
Speaker 1: just pull up in your neighborhood. Also, they keep telling
Speaker 1: me there's not on the end of it, and I
Speaker 1: don't believe them. Yeah, Dillard's pull up, Yeah, Dillards, pull
Speaker 1: up in the apartments, you know, nor strom rack. Let's go.
Speaker 1: There's a dressing room in this bitch, I understand, pull up,
Speaker 1: there's a fitting room. I've been one of those wardrobe
Speaker 1: trucks on set. So let us know what you think
Speaker 1: you know. Let us know if you either of us
Speaker 1: have won you over from the position you started in,
Speaker 1: or if you were with us the whole time. We
Speaker 1: want to hear from you. Thank you so much for listening. Um,
Speaker 1: I'm I'm Josh Johnson. If you want more of me,
Speaker 1: you can find me on my podcast, That Josh Johnson Show,
Speaker 1: which is where if you listen to podcasts and if
Speaker 1: you are looking for Dul's Sake Sharks. Today, I come
Speaker 1: to you with my new business, Oh gosh, okay store
Speaker 1: on wheels. Baby girl. You can find me in your hood,
Speaker 1: in your neighborhood in tomorrow with your daddy. You know
Speaker 1: what I mean. I'm on to internet, you know what
Speaker 1: it is. Also, hey, man, call your mama bye, see him.
Speaker 1: This has been hold up. We've covered conscious rap versus
Speaker 1: club bangers, barstow versus body wash, diners versus waffle houses,
Speaker 1: all sorts of things. What else should we be talking about?
Speaker 1: We want to know from you. Let us know, drop
Speaker 1: us a comment or hit hold up on social at
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