Speaker 1: Hello, it's going mam. Right, what's new with you? Actually,
Speaker 1: everything with you is to me because I don't know
Speaker 1: who you are, So anything you could possibly say would
Speaker 1: suffice as an answer to that question.
Speaker 2: Sure, I get some the immediate just sitting here watching
Speaker 2: the screen too, with chat and you smoking cigar, drinking bourbon.
Speaker 1: Any particular reason you called in tonight?
Speaker 2: I mean I had a ship story, So give the
Speaker 2: people what they want, right, Oh?
Speaker 1: Yeah, what's going on with your ship thing?
Speaker 2: Yeah? So kind of keeping this kind of showed my
Speaker 2: hand before I you know, I said, what's going on?
Speaker 2: But keeping the secret from my wife. She doesn't really
Speaker 2: know about it right now. We went to a wedding
Speaker 2: it's been about a year now and it's it was
Speaker 2: one of her best friends, and I was pretty hungover.
Speaker 2: I was having some stomach issues that night and just
Speaker 2: went to the restroom, you know, at the reception. It
Speaker 2: was just you know, going to take a shit, and
Speaker 2: then all of a sudden, it was, you know, pretty nasty.
Speaker 3: It was.
Speaker 2: I had a lot of work to do, you know,
Speaker 2: and ended up clogging the toilet so bad that it
Speaker 2: was kind of overflowing a bit. But it wasn't one
Speaker 2: of those where you know, you know immediately it was
Speaker 2: going to happen, like I flushed once, thought it was
Speaker 2: going to be, you know, just a two plush type situation.
Speaker 2: So went to go flush again and it just started
Speaker 2: and pouring out, and I canic and just darted out
Speaker 2: of there, guard out of the restroom, and then sat
Speaker 2: back down in my seat at the at the table,
Speaker 2: just continued to cood because it's kind of mortified. Didn't
Speaker 2: know what to do.
Speaker 1: M Yeah, that's always a good strategy because here's the thing.
Speaker 1: How many people are at this wedding reception? You think?
Speaker 2: I mean I fired the ballpark? It probably two fifty
Speaker 2: three hundred.
Speaker 1: Okay, so nobody who could possibly know it was you?
Speaker 2: No, no, no, no, it was It was crazy.
Speaker 1: I mean I would have done the exactly did.
Speaker 2: Pass the guy. I passed the guy on the way out,
Speaker 2: but there were multiple stalls and he didn't do it
Speaker 2: into that stall.
Speaker 1: Okay, So no witnesses, Yeah, no witnesses, all right, Yeah, no,
Speaker 1: I totally totally would have done and have done the
Speaker 1: exact same thing.
Speaker 3: Well.
Speaker 2: See, the thing is, like I said, if it was
Speaker 2: you know, just one of her, you know, one of
Speaker 2: her friends. I really wouldn't have cared. I wouldn't have
Speaker 2: thought about it this beat. But it's like a friend
Speaker 2: we see all the time, and I don't know if
Speaker 2: she got floated the bill or anything like that. Like
Speaker 2: I feel really bad. I don't want to be known
Speaker 2: as the guy that you know costed her quite a
Speaker 2: few one hundred dollars I guess, because like they ended
Speaker 2: up closing the restroom, like on the on the way out,
Speaker 2: there were like I don't know if there were plumbers
Speaker 2: or whatnot, but they were people that did not work
Speaker 2: for that perception hall in that restroom, and the restroom
Speaker 2: was closed.
Speaker 1: Okay, so you really did some damage there.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean it you should have seen it while
Speaker 2: it was top five, so.
Speaker 1: You know, I uh, do you know for a fact
Speaker 1: that your wife's friend was fronted the bill? Because you
Speaker 1: can't really ask without sounding a little guilty.
Speaker 2: So yeah, so if you ask, then you pretty much
Speaker 2: played your hand. You know, she knows right off the
Speaker 2: bat that you know that somebody clogs the toilet.
Speaker 3: And.
Speaker 2: She's gonna question that it's you. But I mean, I
Speaker 2: can pay for it, no problem, But I'm just I
Speaker 2: don't want to be I want to be known as
Speaker 2: that guy.
Speaker 1: You know right right here. Listen, here's the thing I'm
Speaker 1: gonna give you. You don't always have to do the
Speaker 1: right thing. I don't do the right thing all the time. Uh.
Speaker 1: This is that this might be a situation in which
Speaker 1: it might not even be the right thing to do
Speaker 1: the right thing, you know, I mean, what kind of
Speaker 1: fuck it does anybody do the right thing every time?
Speaker 1: Nobody does? Sometimes you just you.
Speaker 2: Can just you're lieing.
Speaker 1: If you say you do.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I mean if I were in your position,
Speaker 1: there is there's no way. I mean, the the wife
Speaker 1: could be at dinner with uh, the wife's friend could
Speaker 1: be at dinner with you and your wife and she
Speaker 1: could be talking about how she had the front of
Speaker 1: bill for this clogged toilet, and I still would not
Speaker 1: say anything. That's me And is that the right thing
Speaker 1: to do? No, not at all. The right thing to
Speaker 1: do is to pay for the damn toilet. But like
Speaker 1: I said, you don't have to do the right thing.
Speaker 1: I mean, who the fuck always says the right thing? Yeah,
Speaker 1: so you're good. But also I'm a get go guy only,
Speaker 1: so my opinion is worth nothing.
Speaker 2: But maybe we should I mean take a step back.
Speaker 2: Maybe not tell the friend, but tell my wife. If
Speaker 2: you tell the wife, tell her everything.
Speaker 1: Yeah. If you tell a wife, can tell a friend.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Actually, so I'm taking this to the grave right.
Speaker 1: Actually, I don't know if the wife would tell them.
Speaker 1: I mean I don't know. I don't know the relationship
Speaker 1: between the wife with the friends. But I feel like
Speaker 1: if the wife, you might tell her, and then the
Speaker 1: wife might also be extremely embarrassed and not tell a
Speaker 1: friend too, which could potentially make your bond with your
Speaker 1: wife go stronger, because now you guys have a mutual
Speaker 1: secret which brings people together.
Speaker 2: That's a that's a dangerous game.
Speaker 1: There game to play.
Speaker 2: I mean, we got other ship that we you know,
Speaker 2: keep us together. I don't think a ship story he's
Speaker 2: going to do it?
Speaker 1: Well, then what's your name again?
Speaker 2: Ray?
Speaker 1: I think you're gonna die with this one.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so we're going to the grave with chat.
Speaker 1: Huh yep. I mean I won't tell anyone.
Speaker 2: You're a real one.
Speaker 1: Thanks for calling, Ray, have good one.
Speaker 4: Hello, Hi, can you hear me?
Speaker 1: I can hear you? Is this Abby Adi or Abby?
Speaker 5: It's sebbi?
Speaker 1: All right? You kind of cut out and and I
Speaker 1: kind of missed the answer to the question, but it's okay.
Speaker 1: I'm probably gonna forget your name uh in two seconds
Speaker 1: because I'm bad, not because of any other real I
Speaker 1: just I think I genuinely and I'm not being funny anymore.
Speaker 1: I do think I genuinely have some kind of a
Speaker 1: short term memory loss because people think I like do
Speaker 1: it on the show as a bit, but in my
Speaker 1: in real life, I've been meeting people and they'll tell
Speaker 1: me their name and I'll forget it, you know, five
Speaker 1: seconds into meeting them. So it's nothing against you. I
Speaker 1: just think I've i don't know, smoked too much pot
Speaker 1: and eating too much candy that I just can't do
Speaker 1: names anymore, which is fine. The names don't really matter.
Speaker 1: We're all gonna die very soon.
Speaker 4: It kind of sounds like the story of my life
Speaker 4: with like most of the guys I talked to, they
Speaker 4: all seem to have short term memory loss, so I'm
Speaker 4: used to it.
Speaker 1: Okay, great, Great, So you're you're comfortable and accepting of
Speaker 1: my condition, and I appreciate that very much, and I
Speaker 1: would love to hear what is going on with you
Speaker 1: in your life, Addie.
Speaker 4: So my last boyfriend we broke up a few months ago,
Speaker 4: and it was nearly because he was dealing with depression,
Speaker 4: and at first he was very accepting of me being
Speaker 4: supportive with that in him, and then he just decided
Speaker 4: that he couldn't do it anymore and decided to break up.
Speaker 4: And last week we started talking again and turns out
Speaker 4: he wants to get back.
Speaker 6: But.
Speaker 4: He also wants to transition genders.
Speaker 6: Mhm okay, yeah, and I must say like I I
Speaker 6: am bisexual, which is like I'm whatever.
Speaker 4: But I fell in love with him as a man,
Speaker 4: and now I'm unsure. I don't know what to do.
Speaker 1: Mm hmm okay, okay, I can see what sure, I
Speaker 1: can see why this will inspire conflicting feelings.
Speaker 3: Interesting.
Speaker 1: So so, so this person and you broke up because
Speaker 1: they were going through some stuff. And then how long
Speaker 1: were you, guys separated from?
Speaker 4: Almost six months?
Speaker 1: About six months? Okay? What were you doing in those
Speaker 1: six months?
Speaker 4: Well, two weeks, around two weeks after we broke up,
Speaker 4: one of my grandparents passed away, so I was dealing
Speaker 4: with that. Other than that, I was just focusing on work,
Speaker 4: going to work and taking myself to the gym to
Speaker 4: get my mind off the breakup.
Speaker 1: And how did your life in those six months? And
Speaker 1: it's just kind of a hard question to answer because
Speaker 1: there's probably a lot of different variables involved, especially you know,
Speaker 1: the death of a family member, But how did your
Speaker 1: life without this person compare to your life with them?
Speaker 4: It didn't seem as happy as when he was part
Speaker 4: of it. And I also have a kid, and they
Speaker 4: did get to meet, and so whenever she saw me sad,
Speaker 4: she would always tell me, you know, like everything's okay,
Speaker 4: he loves you, and it would just make me cry. Okay,
Speaker 4: But yeah, I have to get used to not getting
Speaker 4: those cute messages from him or snaps, which kind of sucked,
Speaker 4: but I had to get through it in a way.
Speaker 1: Is uh, this this your your kid? Is this a
Speaker 1: kid you had with your ex?
Speaker 4: No? No, Before we started dating, I had been married
Speaker 4: and my ex husband is my kids sad?
Speaker 1: Okay, And so this ex that you want to get
Speaker 1: back together with, did you guys have no contact for
Speaker 1: these six months?
Speaker 4: Yeah? At first I would message him just stuff like hey,
Speaker 4: like whatever is going on, just like don't hurt yourself
Speaker 4: stuff like that. And I do have to admit I
Speaker 4: did miss him a lot, obviously, so from time to
Speaker 4: time I would like try to check up on him
Speaker 4: and he wouldn't reply. So it really caught me by
Speaker 4: surprise when I had a message from him from actually
Speaker 4: last month, because we met on an app and after
Speaker 4: we started dating, well, I stopped using that app, and
Speaker 4: for some reason I felt like going back on it,
Speaker 4: and that's when I saw I had a message from him.
Speaker 1: Oh, they sent you a message, yeah, on this app.
Speaker 1: Why did they send you a message on the app
Speaker 1: and not text you? That's kind of I mean, I
Speaker 1: guess it's not right, kind of a strange mood.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I was thinking the same thing, Why not just
Speaker 4: send me a text? Because I stopped using that app,
Speaker 4: but I just had this feeling to go back on it,
Speaker 4: and that's when I saw his message. But yeah, I
Speaker 4: mean it would have been just easier to send me
Speaker 4: a text, I guess.
Speaker 1: Okay, So this okay. So there were a lot of
Speaker 1: kind of problems between you guys as a result of
Speaker 1: this person's depression, which they said that they needed some
Speaker 1: time a part to take care of, which is reasonable.
Speaker 4: Right, Well, we didn't have any problems. I was actually
Speaker 4: really supportive throughout that time before the breakup. What really
Speaker 4: caught me off by surprise was that one day, while
Speaker 4: being at work, he just randomly asked me if I
Speaker 4: thought he was a narcissist, which taught me by surprise
Speaker 4: because right away I told him no, like, I've been
Speaker 4: with a narcissistic person before and he didn't quite fit
Speaker 4: that criteria, and yeah, I was just trying to reassure
Speaker 4: him that he wasn't. Again. I was super supportive throughout
Speaker 4: his depression, and then one day I was just missing
Speaker 4: him really really bad, and I got emotional and I
Speaker 4: really wanted to call him, but at the same time,
Speaker 4: I didn't want to bother him, so I just told
Speaker 4: him we were talking about it, and he told me
Speaker 4: he was gonna watch a streamer on Twitch, and so
Speaker 4: I told him like, okay, well, I won't bother you.
Speaker 4: And not even a minute passed and he replied with okay,
Speaker 4: I love you good night, which I was like, okay, like,
Speaker 4: you're taking a bit to reply to me, but when
Speaker 4: I tell you I'm not going to bother you, you reply
Speaker 4: right away, okay, whatever, And so I started typing this
Speaker 4: text and I said, you know, well, if you have
Speaker 4: some narcissists sick, I can't hearing you like disregarding other
Speaker 4: people's feelings because I was hurt and I emotionally m yeah,
Speaker 4: I was emotionally impulsive when I hit Scent, and I
Speaker 4: rewrited it right away. And so he didn't talk to
Speaker 4: me for four days, and the day he got back
Speaker 4: to me, that's when he told me like, hey, I
Speaker 4: can't do this anymore, like I'm sorry, we're breaking up.
Speaker 4: And so since then I keupd blaming myself because he
Speaker 4: was at a low point in his life with depression.
Speaker 4: And then here I come with those words.
Speaker 1: You know, well, uh, you know, I mean, I think
Speaker 1: I feel like we've talked with this on here and
Speaker 1: this is a common sentiment. But somebody else's By the way,
Speaker 1: I'm not a real therapist. I'm a guy in a
Speaker 1: gecko costume on the Call of Duty website.
Speaker 5: Yeah, but.
Speaker 1: Somebody else's you know, mental health dealings with is sort
Speaker 1: of a product of them. And you can't really blame
Speaker 1: yourself for, you know, other people having depression and having
Speaker 1: to deal with it. That's a lot to take on.
Speaker 1: What this to me comes down to is is your
Speaker 1: life better or worse with this person in it? That's
Speaker 1: the crux of what we're trying to figure out, I
Speaker 1: don't I don't know. I obviously cannot answer that question
Speaker 1: for you. But that's what you should sort of ruminate on.
Speaker 1: What I'm sure you have been ruminating on.
Speaker 4: Well, we had spoken about getting married in the future,
Speaker 4: having kids, and my daughter he always treated her as
Speaker 4: his home and so I was really, you know, looking
Speaker 4: into the future with that because when we matched on
Speaker 4: that app like, I wasn't looking for anything, and he
Speaker 4: was very persistent, but I was happy. And when he
Speaker 4: came into my life, slowly but surely, he just completed
Speaker 4: me in that way. So when he tells me that
Speaker 4: he wants to transition into a woman, I I wasn't
Speaker 4: angry at it at all. I did tell him, well,
Speaker 4: if you like to dress as a woman, like, I
Speaker 4: have nothing against it. It's just I fell in love
Speaker 4: with you as a guy, you know.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: And I even asked him like, well, what's your plan
Speaker 4: if you like, do you still want to have kids?
Speaker 4: He said yeah, And so I asked him, like, what's
Speaker 4: the plan done? Like how how do you want that
Speaker 4: to work? And so he said that he would keep
Speaker 4: certain areas with his for that.
Speaker 1: Uh.
Speaker 4: But Also, what I'm trying to understand is like he's
Speaker 4: always wanted to have a son so he can have
Speaker 4: that relationship that him and his dad had when he
Speaker 4: was growing up. So I just want to know, like how,
Speaker 4: you how how would we make it work if he
Speaker 4: wants to change gender and still have like that father figure.
Speaker 1: M hm m hm, ma'am. This is a very very
Speaker 1: tough issue. I don't have any sort of right answer,
Speaker 1: but I have, like, I don't know, I have thoughts
Speaker 1: because I'm thinking about your your ex, this person, and
Speaker 1: I'm sure for them with everything they're dealing with and
Speaker 1: just in their life in general, both of you guys
Speaker 1: should have people as your significant other that you're excited about,
Speaker 1: you know, and this person transitioning, I mean, that's a
Speaker 1: big part of who they are. It's important enough to
Speaker 1: them to transition that they're going to do it, and
Speaker 1: it becomes a big part of this person's identity that
Speaker 1: they are now living and presenting as a woman. And
Speaker 1: they should have somebody in their life who is accepting
Speaker 1: and not just accepting, but like excited about it and
Speaker 1: embracing it. And you should have somebody is your significant
Speaker 1: other who you're excited about and who you embrace fully
Speaker 1: and that's really hard. So I do believe both of
Speaker 1: you should have people in your life who you're excited about.
Speaker 1: And I don't. I don't know. I don't know how
Speaker 1: you would sort of come to terms with that, because this,
Speaker 1: this being a big deal for you is what it is.
Speaker 1: You know, this having its problems for you is what
Speaker 1: it is, and it's it's a hard thing to reconcile with.
Speaker 1: I don't know all I all I really feel about
Speaker 1: this situation is that both of you should be really
Speaker 1: excited about each other and about who each other is.
Speaker 1: And I don't know with you, like and I do
Speaker 1: this is all speculation, you know, this is a tough issue.
Speaker 1: And I'm a guy and I got of costum on
Speaker 1: the internet, but uh, like, could you these are just
Speaker 1: ideas I'm playing with in my mind, Like could you,
Speaker 1: you know, be initially resistant to this but put in
Speaker 1: some effort and learn to embrace it, and both of
Speaker 1: you kind of can move forward with that understanding that
Speaker 1: that you're going to put an effort towards this thing
Speaker 1: and towards embracing it, or will that not work? And
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know if that will work
Speaker 1: or not. I really have no idea.
Speaker 4: I feel like initially I I would and like I
Speaker 4: told him, like I have no issue with him dressing
Speaker 4: as a woman, Like it doesn't, it doesn't bother me,
Speaker 4: It wouldn't bother me. And I know it's it's a
Speaker 4: slow prop that he has to get into hormones and
Speaker 4: all of that stuff. It just hurts because I love
Speaker 4: him so so much, and like I obviously want to
Speaker 4: see him happy, and sure I appreciate that he also
Speaker 4: wants to get back with me. I don't know. I
Speaker 4: feel like in the end, he would become the one
Speaker 4: that got away. As cliche as.
Speaker 1: It might sound, Okay, and here's another thing. You know,
Speaker 1: you say you don't mind this person dressing as a woman.
Speaker 1: You know, I don't know. And this and this what
Speaker 1: I'm about to say, this would this would be part
Speaker 1: of you, you know, needing to make an effort into
Speaker 1: this to make it work. Is like, you know, I
Speaker 1: don't know, I don't know this person's name whatever. But
Speaker 1: they're not just talking they're just talking about dressing as
Speaker 1: a woman. They're talking about transitioning into a woman. Wanting
Speaker 1: you to really see them as a woman, wanting you
Speaker 1: to call them she her. You know, it's a lot
Speaker 1: more I feel like that they would want from you
Speaker 1: than just hey, it's cool with me if you put
Speaker 1: on women's clothing, and you know, you would have to
Speaker 1: decide if you wanted to be with this person, if
Speaker 1: that's something you could really apply effort into. And it
Speaker 1: could just be you know that this person has gone
Speaker 1: through a lot of struggles and changes and fighting thoughts
Speaker 1: in their brain and they kind of came out with
Speaker 1: this is what I need to be happy. And it
Speaker 1: could be And again I'm just throwing out various different ideas.
Speaker 1: I'm thinking it could be that this person transitions into
Speaker 1: a woman and that makes them very happy, and as
Speaker 1: a byproduct of that, you two become incompatible. That could
Speaker 1: be it too, Yeah, and that might be hard. But
Speaker 1: if you really do love this person, you really do
Speaker 1: want to see them happy, I think you could find
Speaker 1: it in them. I think you could find it in
Speaker 1: yourself to accept that. I think if you really really
Speaker 1: love this person, I think you could find it within
Speaker 1: yourself to either accept that in this new stage of
Speaker 1: their life, you guys are incompatible, but you wish them well,
Speaker 1: or you're going to make a concentrated effort to really
Speaker 1: get to know them as they are and get to
Speaker 1: love them again in this new stage of their life.
Speaker 1: And I don't think either of those options is the
Speaker 1: right one or the wrong one. But I hope that
Speaker 1: at least in talking about these you have a better
Speaker 1: perspective on how you can move forward. Yeah, that makes sense.
Speaker 4: I'm getting. The other thing would yeah, it does. And
Speaker 4: the other thing I'm getting would be how to explain
Speaker 4: it if let's say we do go as far as
Speaker 4: like getting married and all of that, because I know
Speaker 4: some people wouldn't be as accepting, wouldn't really understand soul.
Speaker 4: And well, I'm Hispanics, so my family some of them
Speaker 4: are very old school, and I know they wouldn't understand
Speaker 4: it as easily. So and I mean, like I could
Speaker 4: care love with you think if I'm with someone that
Speaker 4: I love.
Speaker 1: And yeah, yeah, and this is this is this is
Speaker 1: part of you know, this is information that you have
Speaker 1: to think about and considering way when you're making you know,
Speaker 1: one of I mean, at least what I see is
Speaker 1: as one of the two decisions that that you can make,
Speaker 1: which is the decision to accept that you guys are
Speaker 1: incompatible at this point, or to accept that you're going
Speaker 1: to have to make a you know, concentrate effort into
Speaker 1: understanding this person again. But yeah, Addie, you know I
Speaker 1: I think I think it's good that you're thinking about
Speaker 1: all this stuff so deeply because it means that you care.
Speaker 1: I think I think I've said, uh what I think
Speaker 1: about this, and I want to know if there's anything
Speaker 1: else that you you want to say or cover before
Speaker 1: we go.
Speaker 4: I would I would really have to think it through thoroughly.
Speaker 4: Should yeah, because nothing would make me happier than to
Speaker 4: see him happy, and if that means transitioning, then as
Speaker 4: long as.
Speaker 1: He or she is happy, you know, ADDI, is there
Speaker 1: anything else you want to say to the people of
Speaker 1: the computer before we go?
Speaker 4: Thank you? Get You're not a real therapist, but you
Speaker 4: are really good at giving advice and just being someone
Speaker 4: to listen.
Speaker 1: Thank you very much, man. I appreciate you, and I
Speaker 1: will I'll talk to you soon. Good luck.
Speaker 4: Thank you.
Speaker 1: Super super tough issue. Super tough issue. I don't know
Speaker 1: if I have any wrap up thoughts. I feel like
Speaker 1: I said everything I needed to say about that. I'm
Speaker 1: surprised that I was able to formulate the thoughts that
Speaker 1: I that I formulated on that call, because that is
Speaker 1: a very, very tough issue. But to sum it up,
Speaker 1: I think that, yeah, those are kind of what I
Speaker 1: see at least. It's her two options is two forms
Speaker 1: of acceptance, the first one being Okay, this person is
Speaker 1: moving into a new phase of their life, and I
Speaker 1: love them and before them, but we are simply not
Speaker 1: compatible in this new phase of their life. That's the one.
Speaker 1: Or this person is entering a new phase of their life,
Speaker 1: and because I love them so much, I'm going to
Speaker 1: put forth the effort of entering it with them, which
Speaker 1: means understanding and fully realizing that this person is now
Speaker 1: a woman, and I will treat them as such. I
Speaker 1: will think of them as such. I will defend them
Speaker 1: against my family, I will defend them against you know,
Speaker 1: anyone else who thinks that what we're doing is wrong.
Speaker 1: And I will will really take up that challenge, and
Speaker 1: that challenge will be important to me to put action
Speaker 1: toward because I love this person and neither of those
Speaker 1: are the the other right or wrong answer. It's just
Speaker 1: about in the end, what'll make her happier, which I
Speaker 1: don't know, because I am not her. I am a
Speaker 1: gecko on the computer. Hello, Hello, how you doing?
Speaker 7: Was ship's you?
Speaker 3: It's me.
Speaker 5: I'm doing I'm doing. I didn't think here a pick up,
Speaker 5: but I'm doing great.
Speaker 1: Tell me everything?
Speaker 5: He uh, well, recently, Uh, I met this girl off
Speaker 5: the dating app, like last Sunday, and everything moved pretty fast.
Speaker 5: We had sex in the back of my friend's car,
Speaker 5: like two days later. We're still talking and he tells
Speaker 5: me that she's like surprised because she's never really like
Speaker 5: I met a guy who like treated her the way
Speaker 5: that I do and so open and time and all that,
Speaker 5: and she's like, she's just like spressing out your fields.
Speaker 5: And then I kind of jumped the gun.
Speaker 7: I went a bit too fast.
Speaker 5: I should have thought more about what I was gonna say,
Speaker 5: but I ended up basically saying that every down to
Speaker 5: get serious and see like what we have and see
Speaker 5: where it could go.
Speaker 7: I'm ier said I'm ready to see where it goes,
Speaker 7: and she was like, I like that, and then I
Speaker 7: like ended up dating from that moment and that ended
Speaker 7: up having on like fucking last Tuesday, and so we've
Speaker 7: been dating.
Speaker 1: This timeline is completely at this point. But good, then
Speaker 1: you're go ahead. I'll ask for terarification later. Let me
Speaker 1: get let me get the rest of these details, all right.
Speaker 3: So I.
Speaker 5: From Tuesday onward to in between Tuesday to yesterday, she's
Speaker 5: like she's basically seeing me as that needle in a
Speaker 5: haystack kind of person that like she's found the right guy. Okay,
Speaker 5: that will like treat her right because she has a
Speaker 5: she we had talked about it and she has like
Speaker 5: she's been with many guys and they all kind of
Speaker 5: treat her like crap and all that.
Speaker 1: So what is what's your issue here?
Speaker 5: Was So yesterday when we were hanging out, I've it's
Speaker 5: been waiting on my mind, was that I don't really
Speaker 5: feel the same way for her that she does for me,
Speaker 5: and so I actually told her how I felt, and
Speaker 5: we ended up breaking up on the spot.
Speaker 1: And okay, so you dated this girl for about today.
Speaker 5: We were pretty much okay, And so we're talking today
Speaker 5: every today, and she was telling me that she because
Speaker 5: on Saturday we had we had no protect effect and
Speaker 5: I came inside her and she had told me today
Speaker 5: that she forgot to take the pill on Saturday. And
Speaker 5: so we were currently talking about it earlier, and based
Speaker 5: on her cycle, there's like a seventy five percent chance
Speaker 5: that she might get pregnant. And she she tried to
Speaker 5: go to get Plan B today at the store, but
Speaker 5: she was trying to do it the screen because her
Speaker 5: parents are like very conservative in pro life, but they
Speaker 5: found out and so they pretty much like grounded her
Speaker 5: right now, and so I'm just trying to like comfort
Speaker 5: her through it. And she's like super scared and she
Speaker 5: doesn't know what to do, but I don't know what
Speaker 5: to do either. But I'm just trying to keep calm
Speaker 5: and like think of all the possible ways to help
Speaker 5: her out because she wants she we both don't want
Speaker 5: a child. We both know that we're not ready for one.
Speaker 5: We're pretty young and all that, And I'm just trying
Speaker 5: to like let her know that if I have to,
Speaker 5: I'll do what I can. If she ends up being pregnant,
Speaker 5: then I'll do what i can to be a father
Speaker 5: pretty much.
Speaker 1: Okay, say, if you talked about what you guys are
Speaker 1: going to do if it turns out that she's pregnant.
Speaker 5: We haven't talked about it too much. We've just mainly
Speaker 5: been discussing on the different things to do, to the
Speaker 5: different routes to go for trying to either take an
Speaker 5: emergency contraceptive, which I think after today, if you were
Speaker 5: to take one then it just wouldn't work.
Speaker 1: I don't I don't know. I'm not a doctor, I'm
Speaker 1: a gecko, but I don't know what the whole window
Speaker 1: is for emergency contraceptives. But if you're gonna do, if
Speaker 1: you're going to try to get an emergency contraceptive, I
Speaker 1: would suggest getting off the phone with me and going
Speaker 1: to find one right now, if that is your plan.
Speaker 5: So we we talked about it, but because their parents
Speaker 5: tried to get one, but her parents pretty much like
Speaker 5: found out and stopped her, and so well, dude, why.
Speaker 1: Don't you try to go get one if the plan
Speaker 1: is to get one.
Speaker 7: I don't have a car.
Speaker 5: I mainly use my friend's car, and he's kind of
Speaker 5: like away right now. He probably won't be back till
Speaker 5: later in the night.
Speaker 1: Jose and Jose, if you if you and this girl,
Speaker 1: do you do you not feel like you are able
Speaker 1: to have a kid and you're trying to get rid
Speaker 1: of this issue before it becomes a bigger issue. Walk
Speaker 1: to CBS, get off the phone with me and walk there.
Speaker 1: Take the three hour, take the three hour walk to CBS,
Speaker 1: and then walk another two hours to her house. You
Speaker 1: don't need a car. You need to take care of
Speaker 1: this problem, my friends, what are you doing this? You
Speaker 1: don't have a car? Well, freaking walk there, dude. The
Speaker 1: time is running out.
Speaker 5: If this is the plan, all right, you got me there?
Speaker 1: Man, all right, so go to CBS. Where do you
Speaker 1: do you know? Do this? I mean, dude, if if,
Speaker 1: if you guys don't want to have to you know,
Speaker 1: make this into a larger issue and you need emergency
Speaker 1: contraceptive freaking go walk to CBS, get Plan B, then
Speaker 1: walk to her house, discreetly meet her somewhere where her
Speaker 1: parents won't know, and get her the plan B.
Speaker 5: All right, go now, all right, I will man, all.
Speaker 1: Right, talk to you soon, Jose. I hope it all
Speaker 1: works out.
Speaker 2: Thank you.
Speaker 1: H I had more questions for him, but he's he is.
Speaker 1: He absolutely does not have time to be on my
Speaker 1: podcast right now. I because I can guarantee you that
Speaker 1: it will be the tedium that exists for you in
Speaker 1: the future if you do not take care of the situation,
Speaker 1: will far out way walking two hours to CVS. I'm
Speaker 1: not crazy, right, Well, like, does anyone know if I
Speaker 1: were in that situation, I'm walking to CVS, running to CVS.
Speaker 1: I can't believe. I can't believe that. He was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: the window was running out and he decided to call me,
Speaker 1: and you know what, it was a good decision because
Speaker 1: he is he actually on his way to CBS right now. Hello.
Speaker 3: Hey, is this GEK?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Is this Stephen?
Speaker 3: This is Stephen. How's it going, man?
Speaker 1: Stephen? Uh? What's your life? Like?
Speaker 3: Well, it's I guess you could say it suddenly got
Speaker 3: a little a little interesting. When I was, uh, I
Speaker 3: don't know, like fifteen, sixteen years old, I was diagnosed
Speaker 3: with an autoimmune disease that made me lose all my hair. Right,
Speaker 3: So when I was like sixteen years old, I've been
Speaker 3: I've been completely Baldkin's man. And now I don't really
Speaker 3: know why. But now I'm growing hair back and I
Speaker 3: don't know, like I gotta shave my face now for
Speaker 3: the first time ever, and I don't really know how
Speaker 3: to do that. And I got to like start like,
Speaker 3: I guess taking care of my hair stuff like that,
Speaker 3: and I'm not really sure, like I've never done it before,
Speaker 3: you know.
Speaker 1: So you don't know how to have hairy.
Speaker 3: Yeah, pretty much. I don't know how to deal with it.
Speaker 1: When you were fourteen, thirteen, twelve, eleven, ten, did you
Speaker 1: have hair?
Speaker 3: So, when I was in like I would say, like
Speaker 3: elementary to middle school, it start it starts coming out
Speaker 3: in like patches almost, but my hair was so thin
Speaker 3: and so short that there was really no like I
Speaker 3: couldn't really style it anyway, so kind of not really
Speaker 3: I had hair at that age, but not really.
Speaker 1: Do you like having hair? Is this something you're excited about?
Speaker 2: Well?
Speaker 3: I see, and that's and that's where I don't know,
Speaker 3: because being bald has been such a part of my
Speaker 3: personality for a long time, right like almost ten years,
Speaker 3: you know what I'm saying. So it's like that was
Speaker 3: me for so long, and I don't know. I don't
Speaker 3: know if I want to I don't know if I
Speaker 3: want to go with that. No.
Speaker 1: Interesting, So you got this disease, it caused you to
Speaker 1: lose all your hair, and right, being bald all of
Speaker 1: a sudden was something that you started to embrace.
Speaker 3: Oh for sure, definitely definitely.
Speaker 1: And are you considering just shaving off the hair that's
Speaker 1: growing back.
Speaker 3: Yes and no, I don't know I would say I
Speaker 3: would say yes if you know, I feel like I
Speaker 3: want to keep you know, that look, but also at
Speaker 3: the same time, like this could be an opportunity for
Speaker 3: me to like be a little different than I have. Then,
Speaker 3: you know, m.
Speaker 1: Do you feel as though your personality would change along
Speaker 1: with your look?
Speaker 3: That's a great question. I would hope not, you know,
Speaker 3: like I don't think there would be Yeah, I guess,
Speaker 3: I guess I hope not, but maybe it would. Maybe
Speaker 3: maybe I would change my personality. I don't know.
Speaker 1: You said your personality was tied to your baldness, and
Speaker 1: what exactly did you mean by that?
Speaker 3: Well, you know, I mean growing up in you know,
Speaker 3: I mean I grew up in a big town, right,
Speaker 3: and a lot of people, and I was the only
Speaker 3: obviously the only kid that didn't have hair or was
Speaker 3: like losing hair stuff like that. Bald, kay, Right. But
Speaker 3: then I would do like I did a lot of
Speaker 3: theater in school, so like I would be on stage
Speaker 3: and I'd be like performing, and it would always be like, oh,
Speaker 3: you know, that's that's ball Kate. He was on stage
Speaker 3: other night, and that kind of like I kind of
Speaker 3: just like adopted that, I guess, And I don't know,
Speaker 3: that's just so it's how it's been.
Speaker 1: Interesting. So this thing that made you very different at
Speaker 1: a young age, for a lot of people, they would
Speaker 1: feel like that's a bad thing, but you're embracing it
Speaker 1: as of a sort of pride in being different.
Speaker 3: Exactly, and and that that is why I'm I guess,
Speaker 3: I guess for a lack of a better word, having
Speaker 3: like an identity crisis, I guess because like that was
Speaker 3: you know, that was something that I didn't embrace, and
Speaker 3: now it's kind of like, oh my god, like that's
Speaker 3: changing now.
Speaker 1: And so now that your hair is growing back, that
Speaker 1: thing that made you different is going away, and you're
Speaker 1: exactly trying to figure out how to maintain yourself.
Speaker 3: Yeah, pretty much. And like I said, like at the
Speaker 3: same time, it could be an opportunity for me to
Speaker 3: change my life. I'm twenty three now, so well it's
Speaker 3: been a while, like I've been like this for a while,
Speaker 3: so like it could also be an opportunity to to
Speaker 3: change in appearance. But I don't know if that's necessarily something,
Speaker 3: like I said, I'm willing to give up.
Speaker 1: Well, Steven, you fucked yourself a little bit, which is fine,
Speaker 1: which is understandable when you're when you're a teamer, it's
Speaker 1: understandable you fucked yourself a little bit. Any Time you
Speaker 1: define yourself as a person by one particular thing, especially
Speaker 1: like an aesthetic thing like this, you completely fuck yourself.
Speaker 1: I think you're understanding that now because you really want
Speaker 1: to diversified life portfolio, whatever it is. And we've talked
Speaker 1: about this on here before and it's and it's a
Speaker 1: thing I do like thinking about, is how how we
Speaker 1: like to look at ourselves and define ourselves and whatnot.
Speaker 1: And if you pick any one thing your job, your
Speaker 1: significant other, the way that you dress, yourn, even things
Speaker 1: that are like you know, important, like your family, being kind,
Speaker 1: anything like that. If you just pick one handful of things,
Speaker 1: or almost any handful of things to just veheomally define
Speaker 1: yourself by, you totally fuck yourself. Because you want to
Speaker 1: be elastic in that. You don't want to be defined.
Speaker 1: You don't want to be the bald guy. You're a complex,
Speaker 1: magnificent miracle of the universe. You can be infinite things
Speaker 1: at all times. I really do believe that. So you
Speaker 1: buy well i'd glad. I'm glad that your hair is
Speaker 1: growing back and that the universe is telling you, Hey, Steven,
Speaker 1: quit fucking thinking of yourself as the bald guy and
Speaker 1: go out and be a person. Go find different other
Speaker 1: facets of your life. So let's get into that. I mean,
Speaker 1: what what else gives you purpose and meaning in your
Speaker 1: in your existence.
Speaker 3: Yeah that's I couldn't probably have said it better. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I guess, Like, like I said, I was in theater
Speaker 3: in in school, like in high school and in college,
Speaker 3: I was in theater. And I guess like another thing
Speaker 3: that I would define myself by is like my my
Speaker 3: musical ability. You know, yeah, I play instruments, you know,
Speaker 3: that kind of thing. I definitely like have always been
Speaker 3: into music as a kid and like as an adult.
Speaker 3: But yeah, I don't know. I think, you know, I think,
Speaker 3: obviously like the important pillars of life, like family and
Speaker 3: friends and that kind of stuff, that those all give
Speaker 3: me purpose. But I do feel like that I may
Speaker 3: put a little too much importance on my relationship with people,
Speaker 3: you know, and like I kind of think, oh well,
Speaker 3: if my relationship is good with them, that means that
Speaker 3: I'm doing something good. And like I'm good, a good person.
Speaker 3: Like my relationship is bad. It's like, oh my god, Like,
Speaker 3: what have I done to make this relationship so bad?
Speaker 1: You know, right, right, And I think that there's legitimacy
Speaker 1: to that. But you you want to have a diversified
Speaker 1: life portfolio. So that way, when you you know, wake
Speaker 1: up one day and your friend is mad at you
Speaker 1: for whatever reason, you know, you can go into your
Speaker 1: little music studio thing and play the flute and go, okay, well,
Speaker 1: at least I have the flute. And then when you
Speaker 1: and then on another day, when you and your friend
Speaker 1: go get ice cream and have a great time, and
Speaker 1: then afterwards you go to play your flute and you
Speaker 1: suck at the flute, you can go, well, I sucked
Speaker 1: at the flute today, but at least I had a
Speaker 1: good time hanging out with my friends. You know. So
Speaker 1: you want to derive enjoyment and meaning and purpose from
Speaker 1: a variety of different things. If you don't do that,
Speaker 1: you just totally fuck yourself and let yourself get thrown
Speaker 1: around by the whim of of you know, whatever is
Speaker 1: going right or wrong with the thing you've decided to
Speaker 1: define yourself by. I've learned this a bunch of times
Speaker 1: in my own life.
Speaker 3: Man, M Yeah, I mean that's definitely all true, Like
Speaker 3: that's something all valid. Yeah, I guess I guess maybe
Speaker 3: maybe I should, uh, I don't pick up a new
Speaker 3: hobby or something. I guess, like, what shall you do?
Speaker 1: Yeah, you should pick up a new hobby. What do
Speaker 1: you like to do? I mean, you like to see
Speaker 1: your music? Guy, you like to act? Why don't you
Speaker 1: go make fucking tiktoks of you lip syncing to a thing?
Speaker 1: Although there was that one guy. Here's that one guy
Speaker 1: who just did that and he got made fun of
Speaker 1: a lot on the internet, and so that might happen
Speaker 1: to you as well.
Speaker 3: But there's no such thing as a bad press, right.
Speaker 1: No, well that's not true either. But Steven, I think
Speaker 1: you're more than just your hair, and I think it's
Speaker 1: it's silly of you to define yourself by that when
Speaker 1: you are clearly uh, you know, any amount of infinite
Speaker 1: things that you could desire to be.
Speaker 3: Definitely, yeah, yeah, that's that's very true. And I don't
Speaker 3: think I've thought about it like that until quite recently.
Speaker 3: But yeah, I definitely, like I started like I have
Speaker 3: a TikTok count obviously, and like I started trying to
Speaker 3: make more content, and like that's been really enjoyable, even
Speaker 3: even if it doesn't the videos don't do well, Like
Speaker 3: I still like making that content, you know, like it's
Speaker 3: just fun to do. So maybe that's by the way.
Speaker 1: By the way, Steven, I, I don't know if we
Speaker 1: talked about this already. I think we did, but I
Speaker 1: just want to hammer it in. If you don't like
Speaker 1: having hair and you like being bald, you can just
Speaker 1: you can just shave off your hair.
Speaker 3: Oh for sure, definitely, definitely, yeah, And that's definitely been
Speaker 3: like a like a real possibility for me, like probably
Speaker 3: more than likely I'll do that. But you know, I
Speaker 3: just kind of as I've been thinking about it and
Speaker 3: as it's been growing, and then the thing about it
Speaker 3: is that it's not just on my head, It's like
Speaker 3: everywhere in my body, right, So I'm growing hair on.
Speaker 1: A little TIMI Steven, geez, we can talk about we
Speaker 1: can talk about pubes on here. Okay, so you're getting pubes.
Speaker 1: How are you feeling about the pubes?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm not really worried.
Speaker 1: I have an incredibly hairy both ass cheeks and asshole
Speaker 1: And how does that serve me it. I don't know.
Speaker 1: It makes like, you know, if a person's ever down there,
Speaker 1: I feel like they're judging me a little bit. But
Speaker 1: that's fine. I don't care. I think it causes a
Speaker 1: lot of itching and whatnot. But let me tell you something, Steven,
Speaker 1: even though I have an itchy asshole, you know, even
Speaker 1: though I have a hairy asshole, I don't define myself
Speaker 1: by my hairy asshole because I believe I am much
Speaker 1: more than that, and I believe you are more than
Speaker 1: your bald head as well. Stephen, is there anything else
Speaker 1: you want to say to the people of the compute
Speaker 1: it before we go.
Speaker 3: I'm I'm a big fan of been watching for a
Speaker 3: while now, and I'm just happy I got on.
Speaker 1: So thank you, Thank you brother, Thank you for sharing, man,
Speaker 1: and good luck to you as you build your life portfolio.
Speaker 3: Thanks man, you too.
Speaker 1: Take care, Steven, take care. I mean, it's really bad
Speaker 1: down there, and I've tried shaving my I've tried shaving
Speaker 1: it too, but I don't do that anymore because the
Speaker 1: last time I did that, like the shaved hairs would
Speaker 1: like because we never hear ass, so at least all
Speaker 1: the hairs are connected. To the body so they don't
Speaker 1: depart from the skin and enter into the anus. But
Speaker 1: when you shave it, you you won't. You don't get
Speaker 1: all the hair out unless if you do a really
Speaker 1: thorough cleaning, and then the hair is start to go
Speaker 1: inside of the anus, and then it just becomes a
Speaker 1: friggin mess of itchiness. And that I probably shared a
Speaker 1: little bit too much there, but that's okay. I am
Speaker 1: comfortable with who I am and with my asshole. To
Speaker 1: add a little more to that too, I have had
Speaker 1: several times in my life where the thing that I
Speaker 1: was defining myself by went away and then I was
Speaker 1: left with nothing, and I learned not to do that
Speaker 1: anymore like I used to. I used to. I did
Speaker 1: stand up comedy before I was doing this podcast, and
Speaker 1: I did that for like six years before realizing I
Speaker 1: hated it. But when I realized I hated it, I
Speaker 1: was fucked because all of my friends were from stand
Speaker 1: up and all of my identity was about trying to
Speaker 1: be a stand up comic and doing all that stuff,
Speaker 1: and it really kind of screwed me for a little bit.
Speaker 1: Is I was like, well, what do I do now
Speaker 1: that you know I don't have this in my life.
Speaker 1: And then I got this job sort of right after
Speaker 1: I graduated college, and I didn't know if I was
Speaker 1: going to be able to stay in that job, but
Speaker 1: I really liked that job, and I was kind of
Speaker 1: defining myself by that job. And then the job ended,
Speaker 1: and I was like, well, fuck, what this thing ends?
Speaker 1: What am I gonna do? Because this thing was a
Speaker 1: big force in my life and now I have this thing,
Speaker 1: and I've kind of experienced enough of defining myself by
Speaker 1: a thing and getting super absorbed and obsessed with it,
Speaker 1: and then it leaving and then me getting fucked that
Speaker 1: I've decided, well, okay, I really do enjoy and to
Speaker 1: get a lot of identity and pleasure and fulfillment and
Speaker 1: purpose out of being a gecko on the computer. But
Speaker 1: I can't. I can't let it run my life. I
Speaker 1: can't wake up in the morning and if people are
Speaker 1: listening to my podcast or you know, if my TikTok
Speaker 1: videos are doing well or whatever, I can't let that
Speaker 1: make me feel too good. And if they're not, I
Speaker 1: can't let that make me feel too bad because I
Speaker 1: want to be in control of how I feel, and
Speaker 1: I don't want any external factors to fuck around with me,
Speaker 1: which is easier said than done. I'm still on that
Speaker 1: journey for sure. Okay, I'm not saying all this stuff
Speaker 1: from atop the mountain of completion. I'm in the trenches.
Speaker 1: But that's just how I think about these things.
Speaker 5: I think it goes on the line. Taking your phone
Speaker 5: calls every night, never be kept, cost his hide. You
Speaker 5: just teaching you chouses of your life. But he's not
Speaker 5: really an expert.