1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:06,440 Speaker 1: Hello, it's going mam. Right, what's new with you? Actually, 2 00:00:06,480 --> 00:00:09,079 Speaker 1: everything with you is to me because I don't know 3 00:00:09,119 --> 00:00:12,640 Speaker 1: who you are, So anything you could possibly say would 4 00:00:12,680 --> 00:00:17,000 Speaker 1: suffice as an answer to that question. 5 00:00:19,079 --> 00:00:24,800 Speaker 2: Sure, I get some the immediate just sitting here watching 6 00:00:24,840 --> 00:00:31,120 Speaker 2: the screen too, with chat and you smoking cigar, drinking bourbon. 7 00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:34,880 Speaker 1: Any particular reason you called in tonight? 8 00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:38,479 Speaker 2: I mean I had a ship story, So give the 9 00:00:38,479 --> 00:00:40,520 Speaker 2: people what they want, right, Oh? 10 00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:42,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, what's going on with your ship thing? 11 00:00:44,479 --> 00:00:51,159 Speaker 2: Yeah? So kind of keeping this kind of showed my 12 00:00:51,240 --> 00:00:56,760 Speaker 2: hand before I you know, I said, what's going on? 13 00:00:57,280 --> 00:01:01,720 Speaker 2: But keeping the secret from my wife. She doesn't really 14 00:01:01,760 --> 00:01:06,399 Speaker 2: know about it right now. We went to a wedding 15 00:01:08,240 --> 00:01:13,000 Speaker 2: it's been about a year now and it's it was 16 00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:16,800 Speaker 2: one of her best friends, and I was pretty hungover. 17 00:01:18,280 --> 00:01:22,399 Speaker 2: I was having some stomach issues that night and just 18 00:01:22,480 --> 00:01:26,800 Speaker 2: went to the restroom, you know, at the reception. It 19 00:01:26,880 --> 00:01:30,000 Speaker 2: was just you know, going to take a shit, and 20 00:01:30,040 --> 00:01:33,600 Speaker 2: then all of a sudden, it was, you know, pretty nasty. 21 00:01:33,600 --> 00:01:33,959 Speaker 3: It was. 22 00:01:34,440 --> 00:01:35,800 Speaker 2: I had a lot of work to do, you know, 23 00:01:36,800 --> 00:01:42,760 Speaker 2: and ended up clogging the toilet so bad that it 24 00:01:42,880 --> 00:01:47,240 Speaker 2: was kind of overflowing a bit. But it wasn't one 25 00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:50,440 Speaker 2: of those where you know, you know immediately it was 26 00:01:50,440 --> 00:01:53,240 Speaker 2: going to happen, like I flushed once, thought it was 27 00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:56,720 Speaker 2: going to be, you know, just a two plush type situation. 28 00:01:57,960 --> 00:02:01,440 Speaker 2: So went to go flush again and it just started 29 00:02:01,440 --> 00:02:05,000 Speaker 2: and pouring out, and I canic and just darted out 30 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:07,400 Speaker 2: of there, guard out of the restroom, and then sat 31 00:02:07,440 --> 00:02:10,200 Speaker 2: back down in my seat at the at the table, 32 00:02:10,400 --> 00:02:13,680 Speaker 2: just continued to cood because it's kind of mortified. Didn't 33 00:02:13,680 --> 00:02:14,120 Speaker 2: know what to do. 34 00:02:15,200 --> 00:02:20,160 Speaker 1: M Yeah, that's always a good strategy because here's the thing. 35 00:02:20,880 --> 00:02:22,760 Speaker 1: How many people are at this wedding reception? You think? 36 00:02:25,240 --> 00:02:27,960 Speaker 2: I mean I fired the ballpark? It probably two fifty 37 00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:28,840 Speaker 2: three hundred. 38 00:02:29,639 --> 00:02:33,480 Speaker 1: Okay, so nobody who could possibly know it was you? 39 00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:35,520 Speaker 2: No, no, no, no, it was It was crazy. 40 00:02:35,520 --> 00:02:38,760 Speaker 1: I mean I would have done the exactly did. 41 00:02:38,639 --> 00:02:41,400 Speaker 2: Pass the guy. I passed the guy on the way out, 42 00:02:41,480 --> 00:02:43,639 Speaker 2: but there were multiple stalls and he didn't do it 43 00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:44,959 Speaker 2: into that stall. 44 00:02:45,720 --> 00:02:51,240 Speaker 1: Okay, So no witnesses, Yeah, no witnesses, all right, Yeah, no, 45 00:02:51,280 --> 00:02:57,520 Speaker 1: I totally totally would have done and have done the 46 00:02:57,560 --> 00:02:58,280 Speaker 1: exact same thing. 47 00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:01,040 Speaker 3: Well. 48 00:03:01,080 --> 00:03:03,520 Speaker 2: See, the thing is, like I said, if it was 49 00:03:03,680 --> 00:03:06,440 Speaker 2: you know, just one of her, you know, one of 50 00:03:06,480 --> 00:03:10,120 Speaker 2: her friends. I really wouldn't have cared. I wouldn't have 51 00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:12,240 Speaker 2: thought about it this beat. But it's like a friend 52 00:03:12,240 --> 00:03:14,840 Speaker 2: we see all the time, and I don't know if 53 00:03:14,840 --> 00:03:17,040 Speaker 2: she got floated the bill or anything like that. Like 54 00:03:17,200 --> 00:03:18,919 Speaker 2: I feel really bad. I don't want to be known 55 00:03:18,960 --> 00:03:23,080 Speaker 2: as the guy that you know costed her quite a 56 00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:26,880 Speaker 2: few one hundred dollars I guess, because like they ended 57 00:03:26,919 --> 00:03:31,399 Speaker 2: up closing the restroom, like on the on the way out, 58 00:03:31,520 --> 00:03:34,000 Speaker 2: there were like I don't know if there were plumbers 59 00:03:34,120 --> 00:03:36,880 Speaker 2: or whatnot, but they were people that did not work 60 00:03:36,920 --> 00:03:39,840 Speaker 2: for that perception hall in that restroom, and the restroom 61 00:03:39,880 --> 00:03:40,320 Speaker 2: was closed. 62 00:03:42,040 --> 00:03:43,880 Speaker 1: Okay, so you really did some damage there. 63 00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:48,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean it you should have seen it while 64 00:03:48,640 --> 00:03:51,760 Speaker 2: it was top five, so. 65 00:03:52,120 --> 00:03:55,560 Speaker 1: You know, I uh, do you know for a fact 66 00:03:55,680 --> 00:04:00,480 Speaker 1: that your wife's friend was fronted the bill? Because you 67 00:04:00,520 --> 00:04:06,240 Speaker 1: can't really ask without sounding a little guilty. 68 00:04:06,360 --> 00:04:10,680 Speaker 2: So yeah, so if you ask, then you pretty much 69 00:04:10,680 --> 00:04:13,320 Speaker 2: played your hand. You know, she knows right off the 70 00:04:13,360 --> 00:04:16,040 Speaker 2: bat that you know that somebody clogs the toilet. 71 00:04:15,720 --> 00:04:15,880 Speaker 3: And. 72 00:04:17,400 --> 00:04:20,880 Speaker 2: She's gonna question that it's you. But I mean, I 73 00:04:20,880 --> 00:04:25,159 Speaker 2: can pay for it, no problem, But I'm just I 74 00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:26,800 Speaker 2: don't want to be I want to be known as 75 00:04:26,960 --> 00:04:27,599 Speaker 2: that guy. 76 00:04:29,120 --> 00:04:33,960 Speaker 1: You know right right here. Listen, here's the thing I'm 77 00:04:33,960 --> 00:04:35,520 Speaker 1: gonna give you. You don't always have to do the 78 00:04:35,600 --> 00:04:46,120 Speaker 1: right thing. I don't do the right thing all the time. Uh. 79 00:04:46,200 --> 00:04:48,560 Speaker 1: This is that this might be a situation in which 80 00:04:49,760 --> 00:04:51,920 Speaker 1: it might not even be the right thing to do 81 00:04:51,960 --> 00:04:55,880 Speaker 1: the right thing, you know, I mean, what kind of 82 00:04:55,920 --> 00:04:58,560 Speaker 1: fuck it does anybody do the right thing every time? 83 00:04:59,520 --> 00:05:02,880 Speaker 1: Nobody does? Sometimes you just you. 84 00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:05,640 Speaker 2: Can just you're lieing. 85 00:05:05,440 --> 00:05:05,960 Speaker 1: If you say you do. 86 00:05:06,160 --> 00:05:06,640 Speaker 3: Yeah. 87 00:05:07,160 --> 00:05:12,359 Speaker 1: So yeah, I mean if I were in your position, 88 00:05:12,560 --> 00:05:15,920 Speaker 1: there is there's no way. I mean, the the wife 89 00:05:15,960 --> 00:05:21,000 Speaker 1: could be at dinner with uh, the wife's friend could 90 00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:22,720 Speaker 1: be at dinner with you and your wife and she 91 00:05:22,720 --> 00:05:24,280 Speaker 1: could be talking about how she had the front of 92 00:05:24,360 --> 00:05:28,920 Speaker 1: bill for this clogged toilet, and I still would not 93 00:05:28,960 --> 00:05:31,560 Speaker 1: say anything. That's me And is that the right thing 94 00:05:31,600 --> 00:05:32,800 Speaker 1: to do? No, not at all. The right thing to 95 00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:35,240 Speaker 1: do is to pay for the damn toilet. But like 96 00:05:35,279 --> 00:05:36,640 Speaker 1: I said, you don't have to do the right thing. 97 00:05:36,680 --> 00:05:42,040 Speaker 1: I mean, who the fuck always says the right thing? Yeah, 98 00:05:42,520 --> 00:05:46,120 Speaker 1: so you're good. But also I'm a get go guy only, 99 00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:48,120 Speaker 1: so my opinion is worth nothing. 100 00:05:50,360 --> 00:05:52,920 Speaker 2: But maybe we should I mean take a step back. 101 00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:58,800 Speaker 2: Maybe not tell the friend, but tell my wife. If 102 00:05:58,800 --> 00:06:00,760 Speaker 2: you tell the wife, tell her everything. 103 00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:03,000 Speaker 1: Yeah. If you tell a wife, can tell a friend. 104 00:06:05,080 --> 00:06:08,760 Speaker 2: Yeah. Actually, so I'm taking this to the grave right. 105 00:06:09,640 --> 00:06:13,159 Speaker 1: Actually, I don't know if the wife would tell them. 106 00:06:13,200 --> 00:06:14,280 Speaker 1: I mean I don't know. I don't know the relationship 107 00:06:14,320 --> 00:06:15,839 Speaker 1: between the wife with the friends. But I feel like 108 00:06:15,920 --> 00:06:20,839 Speaker 1: if the wife, you might tell her, and then the 109 00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:25,039 Speaker 1: wife might also be extremely embarrassed and not tell a 110 00:06:25,080 --> 00:06:30,680 Speaker 1: friend too, which could potentially make your bond with your 111 00:06:30,680 --> 00:06:32,640 Speaker 1: wife go stronger, because now you guys have a mutual 112 00:06:32,680 --> 00:06:35,479 Speaker 1: secret which brings people together. 113 00:06:38,400 --> 00:06:40,040 Speaker 2: That's a that's a dangerous game. 114 00:06:39,960 --> 00:06:43,200 Speaker 1: There game to play. 115 00:06:41,760 --> 00:06:47,240 Speaker 2: I mean, we got other ship that we you know, 116 00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:49,920 Speaker 2: keep us together. I don't think a ship story he's 117 00:06:49,960 --> 00:06:50,480 Speaker 2: going to do it? 118 00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:54,039 Speaker 1: Well, then what's your name again? 119 00:06:54,120 --> 00:06:54,280 Speaker 2: Ray? 120 00:06:54,279 --> 00:06:55,599 Speaker 1: I think you're gonna die with this one. 121 00:06:57,880 --> 00:06:59,360 Speaker 2: Yeah, so we're going to the grave with chat. 122 00:06:59,440 --> 00:07:02,599 Speaker 1: Huh yep. I mean I won't tell anyone. 123 00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:06,000 Speaker 2: You're a real one. 124 00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:10,720 Speaker 1: Thanks for calling, Ray, have good one. 125 00:07:12,520 --> 00:07:17,920 Speaker 4: Hello, Hi, can you hear me? 126 00:07:18,640 --> 00:07:24,400 Speaker 1: I can hear you? Is this Abby Adi or Abby? 127 00:07:26,400 --> 00:07:27,640 Speaker 5: It's sebbi? 128 00:07:29,480 --> 00:07:32,320 Speaker 1: All right? You kind of cut out and and I 129 00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:34,200 Speaker 1: kind of missed the answer to the question, but it's okay. 130 00:07:34,200 --> 00:07:37,240 Speaker 1: I'm probably gonna forget your name uh in two seconds 131 00:07:37,280 --> 00:07:39,280 Speaker 1: because I'm bad, not because of any other real I 132 00:07:39,320 --> 00:07:42,560 Speaker 1: just I think I genuinely and I'm not being funny anymore. 133 00:07:42,560 --> 00:07:44,600 Speaker 1: I do think I genuinely have some kind of a 134 00:07:45,160 --> 00:07:48,640 Speaker 1: short term memory loss because people think I like do 135 00:07:48,720 --> 00:07:50,760 Speaker 1: it on the show as a bit, but in my 136 00:07:50,880 --> 00:07:52,960 Speaker 1: in real life, I've been meeting people and they'll tell 137 00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:56,360 Speaker 1: me their name and I'll forget it, you know, five 138 00:07:56,360 --> 00:07:58,480 Speaker 1: seconds into meeting them. So it's nothing against you. I 139 00:07:58,560 --> 00:08:01,560 Speaker 1: just think I've i don't know, smoked too much pot 140 00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:03,760 Speaker 1: and eating too much candy that I just can't do 141 00:08:03,880 --> 00:08:06,520 Speaker 1: names anymore, which is fine. The names don't really matter. 142 00:08:06,880 --> 00:08:09,160 Speaker 1: We're all gonna die very soon. 143 00:08:11,360 --> 00:08:13,320 Speaker 4: It kind of sounds like the story of my life 144 00:08:13,320 --> 00:08:15,400 Speaker 4: with like most of the guys I talked to, they 145 00:08:15,440 --> 00:08:17,960 Speaker 4: all seem to have short term memory loss, so I'm 146 00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:18,520 Speaker 4: used to it. 147 00:08:19,240 --> 00:08:22,480 Speaker 1: Okay, great, Great, So you're you're comfortable and accepting of 148 00:08:22,520 --> 00:08:25,200 Speaker 1: my condition, and I appreciate that very much, and I 149 00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:28,720 Speaker 1: would love to hear what is going on with you 150 00:08:28,760 --> 00:08:29,880 Speaker 1: in your life, Addie. 151 00:08:32,120 --> 00:08:37,200 Speaker 4: So my last boyfriend we broke up a few months ago, 152 00:08:37,240 --> 00:08:41,160 Speaker 4: and it was nearly because he was dealing with depression, 153 00:08:43,160 --> 00:08:45,760 Speaker 4: and at first he was very accepting of me being 154 00:08:45,800 --> 00:08:53,440 Speaker 4: supportive with that in him, and then he just decided 155 00:08:53,440 --> 00:08:56,240 Speaker 4: that he couldn't do it anymore and decided to break up. 156 00:08:58,520 --> 00:09:03,480 Speaker 4: And last week we started talking again and turns out 157 00:09:04,080 --> 00:09:05,439 Speaker 4: he wants to get back. 158 00:09:05,600 --> 00:09:05,760 Speaker 6: But. 159 00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:10,719 Speaker 4: He also wants to transition genders. 160 00:09:11,200 --> 00:09:19,760 Speaker 6: Mhm okay, yeah, and I must say like I I 161 00:09:19,800 --> 00:09:24,160 Speaker 6: am bisexual, which is like I'm whatever. 162 00:09:26,120 --> 00:09:30,480 Speaker 4: But I fell in love with him as a man, 163 00:09:31,040 --> 00:09:37,439 Speaker 4: and now I'm unsure. I don't know what to do. 164 00:09:38,559 --> 00:09:44,240 Speaker 1: Mm hmm okay, okay, I can see what sure, I 165 00:09:44,240 --> 00:09:46,880 Speaker 1: can see why this will inspire conflicting feelings. 166 00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:49,800 Speaker 3: Interesting. 167 00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:55,760 Speaker 1: So so, so this person and you broke up because 168 00:09:55,800 --> 00:09:59,079 Speaker 1: they were going through some stuff. And then how long 169 00:09:59,080 --> 00:09:59,960 Speaker 1: were you, guys separated from? 170 00:10:02,120 --> 00:10:03,679 Speaker 4: Almost six months? 171 00:10:04,679 --> 00:10:07,400 Speaker 1: About six months? Okay? What were you doing in those 172 00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:08,080 Speaker 1: six months? 173 00:10:11,800 --> 00:10:14,719 Speaker 4: Well, two weeks, around two weeks after we broke up, 174 00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:17,920 Speaker 4: one of my grandparents passed away, so I was dealing 175 00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:24,840 Speaker 4: with that. Other than that, I was just focusing on work, 176 00:10:27,120 --> 00:10:30,960 Speaker 4: going to work and taking myself to the gym to 177 00:10:31,040 --> 00:10:33,080 Speaker 4: get my mind off the breakup. 178 00:10:36,240 --> 00:10:39,439 Speaker 1: And how did your life in those six months? And 179 00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:42,200 Speaker 1: it's just kind of a hard question to answer because 180 00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:46,840 Speaker 1: there's probably a lot of different variables involved, especially you know, 181 00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:49,840 Speaker 1: the death of a family member, But how did your 182 00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:58,520 Speaker 1: life without this person compare to your life with them? 183 00:10:58,720 --> 00:11:02,240 Speaker 4: It didn't seem as happy as when he was part 184 00:11:02,280 --> 00:11:07,600 Speaker 4: of it. And I also have a kid, and they 185 00:11:07,640 --> 00:11:11,120 Speaker 4: did get to meet, and so whenever she saw me sad, 186 00:11:11,679 --> 00:11:14,280 Speaker 4: she would always tell me, you know, like everything's okay, 187 00:11:15,280 --> 00:11:23,400 Speaker 4: he loves you, and it would just make me cry. Okay, 188 00:11:23,440 --> 00:11:27,720 Speaker 4: But yeah, I have to get used to not getting 189 00:11:27,760 --> 00:11:32,280 Speaker 4: those cute messages from him or snaps, which kind of sucked, 190 00:11:32,320 --> 00:11:36,400 Speaker 4: but I had to get through it in a way. 191 00:11:37,600 --> 00:11:41,760 Speaker 1: Is uh, this this your your kid? Is this a 192 00:11:41,840 --> 00:11:42,960 Speaker 1: kid you had with your ex? 193 00:11:45,640 --> 00:11:50,520 Speaker 4: No? No, Before we started dating, I had been married 194 00:11:50,880 --> 00:11:54,280 Speaker 4: and my ex husband is my kids sad? 195 00:11:55,240 --> 00:12:00,280 Speaker 1: Okay, And so this ex that you want to get 196 00:12:00,280 --> 00:12:06,480 Speaker 1: back together with, did you guys have no contact for 197 00:12:06,520 --> 00:12:07,320 Speaker 1: these six months? 198 00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:16,680 Speaker 4: Yeah? At first I would message him just stuff like hey, 199 00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:20,800 Speaker 4: like whatever is going on, just like don't hurt yourself 200 00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:24,800 Speaker 4: stuff like that. And I do have to admit I 201 00:12:24,800 --> 00:12:27,920 Speaker 4: did miss him a lot, obviously, so from time to 202 00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:31,240 Speaker 4: time I would like try to check up on him 203 00:12:31,480 --> 00:12:36,120 Speaker 4: and he wouldn't reply. So it really caught me by 204 00:12:36,200 --> 00:12:42,320 Speaker 4: surprise when I had a message from him from actually 205 00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:47,840 Speaker 4: last month, because we met on an app and after 206 00:12:47,880 --> 00:12:51,400 Speaker 4: we started dating, well, I stopped using that app, and 207 00:12:51,440 --> 00:12:54,480 Speaker 4: for some reason I felt like going back on it, 208 00:12:54,520 --> 00:12:57,480 Speaker 4: and that's when I saw I had a message from him. 209 00:12:57,840 --> 00:13:01,920 Speaker 1: Oh, they sent you a message, yeah, on this app. 210 00:13:04,320 --> 00:13:05,920 Speaker 1: Why did they send you a message on the app 211 00:13:05,920 --> 00:13:07,959 Speaker 1: and not text you? That's kind of I mean, I 212 00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:12,000 Speaker 1: guess it's not right, kind of a strange mood. 213 00:13:12,040 --> 00:13:16,040 Speaker 4: Yeah, I was thinking the same thing, Why not just 214 00:13:16,120 --> 00:13:20,280 Speaker 4: send me a text? Because I stopped using that app, 215 00:13:21,679 --> 00:13:24,320 Speaker 4: but I just had this feeling to go back on it, 216 00:13:24,360 --> 00:13:26,560 Speaker 4: and that's when I saw his message. But yeah, I 217 00:13:26,600 --> 00:13:29,120 Speaker 4: mean it would have been just easier to send me 218 00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:31,559 Speaker 4: a text, I guess. 219 00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:38,560 Speaker 1: Okay, So this okay. So there were a lot of 220 00:13:38,679 --> 00:13:44,280 Speaker 1: kind of problems between you guys as a result of 221 00:13:44,320 --> 00:13:48,400 Speaker 1: this person's depression, which they said that they needed some 222 00:13:48,480 --> 00:13:53,760 Speaker 1: time a part to take care of, which is reasonable. 223 00:13:53,679 --> 00:14:02,120 Speaker 4: Right, Well, we didn't have any problems. I was actually 224 00:14:02,160 --> 00:14:08,680 Speaker 4: really supportive throughout that time before the breakup. What really 225 00:14:08,679 --> 00:14:12,520 Speaker 4: caught me off by surprise was that one day, while 226 00:14:12,520 --> 00:14:15,000 Speaker 4: being at work, he just randomly asked me if I 227 00:14:15,040 --> 00:14:19,600 Speaker 4: thought he was a narcissist, which taught me by surprise 228 00:14:19,640 --> 00:14:24,880 Speaker 4: because right away I told him no, like, I've been 229 00:14:24,920 --> 00:14:28,960 Speaker 4: with a narcissistic person before and he didn't quite fit 230 00:14:29,040 --> 00:14:36,000 Speaker 4: that criteria, and yeah, I was just trying to reassure 231 00:14:36,040 --> 00:14:39,360 Speaker 4: him that he wasn't. Again. I was super supportive throughout 232 00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:44,120 Speaker 4: his depression, and then one day I was just missing 233 00:14:44,200 --> 00:14:48,760 Speaker 4: him really really bad, and I got emotional and I 234 00:14:48,840 --> 00:14:50,840 Speaker 4: really wanted to call him, but at the same time, 235 00:14:50,920 --> 00:14:53,520 Speaker 4: I didn't want to bother him, so I just told 236 00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:58,960 Speaker 4: him we were talking about it, and he told me 237 00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:02,200 Speaker 4: he was gonna watch a streamer on Twitch, and so 238 00:15:02,440 --> 00:15:04,800 Speaker 4: I told him like, okay, well, I won't bother you. 239 00:15:05,240 --> 00:15:08,360 Speaker 4: And not even a minute passed and he replied with okay, 240 00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:12,000 Speaker 4: I love you good night, which I was like, okay, like, 241 00:15:12,040 --> 00:15:16,160 Speaker 4: you're taking a bit to reply to me, but when 242 00:15:16,160 --> 00:15:17,800 Speaker 4: I tell you I'm not going to bother you, you reply 243 00:15:17,920 --> 00:15:22,520 Speaker 4: right away, okay, whatever, And so I started typing this 244 00:15:22,800 --> 00:15:27,920 Speaker 4: text and I said, you know, well, if you have 245 00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:32,640 Speaker 4: some narcissists sick, I can't hearing you like disregarding other 246 00:15:32,680 --> 00:15:42,920 Speaker 4: people's feelings because I was hurt and I emotionally m yeah, 247 00:15:42,920 --> 00:15:45,920 Speaker 4: I was emotionally impulsive when I hit Scent, and I 248 00:15:45,960 --> 00:15:52,200 Speaker 4: rewrited it right away. And so he didn't talk to 249 00:15:52,240 --> 00:15:56,200 Speaker 4: me for four days, and the day he got back 250 00:15:56,240 --> 00:15:57,720 Speaker 4: to me, that's when he told me like, hey, I 251 00:15:57,760 --> 00:16:00,720 Speaker 4: can't do this anymore, like I'm sorry, we're breaking up. 252 00:16:01,400 --> 00:16:04,440 Speaker 4: And so since then I keupd blaming myself because he 253 00:16:04,560 --> 00:16:06,880 Speaker 4: was at a low point in his life with depression. 254 00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:09,200 Speaker 4: And then here I come with those words. 255 00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:14,360 Speaker 1: You know, well, uh, you know, I mean, I think 256 00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:16,440 Speaker 1: I feel like we've talked with this on here and 257 00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:25,120 Speaker 1: this is a common sentiment. But somebody else's By the way, 258 00:16:25,200 --> 00:16:26,760 Speaker 1: I'm not a real therapist. I'm a guy in a 259 00:16:26,800 --> 00:16:29,600 Speaker 1: gecko costume on the Call of Duty website. 260 00:16:29,720 --> 00:16:31,200 Speaker 5: Yeah, but. 261 00:16:32,840 --> 00:16:38,200 Speaker 1: Somebody else's you know, mental health dealings with is sort 262 00:16:38,240 --> 00:16:42,120 Speaker 1: of a product of them. And you can't really blame 263 00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:48,360 Speaker 1: yourself for, you know, other people having depression and having 264 00:16:48,360 --> 00:16:50,440 Speaker 1: to deal with it. That's a lot to take on. 265 00:16:52,960 --> 00:16:58,000 Speaker 1: What this to me comes down to is is your 266 00:16:58,080 --> 00:17:02,280 Speaker 1: life better or worse with this person in it? That's 267 00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:06,960 Speaker 1: the crux of what we're trying to figure out, I 268 00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:10,600 Speaker 1: don't I don't know. I obviously cannot answer that question 269 00:17:11,040 --> 00:17:17,080 Speaker 1: for you. But that's what you should sort of ruminate on. 270 00:17:17,840 --> 00:17:19,600 Speaker 1: What I'm sure you have been ruminating on. 271 00:17:22,119 --> 00:17:29,760 Speaker 4: Well, we had spoken about getting married in the future, 272 00:17:30,720 --> 00:17:37,720 Speaker 4: having kids, and my daughter he always treated her as 273 00:17:37,720 --> 00:17:44,760 Speaker 4: his home and so I was really, you know, looking 274 00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:49,639 Speaker 4: into the future with that because when we matched on 275 00:17:49,760 --> 00:17:52,000 Speaker 4: that app like, I wasn't looking for anything, and he 276 00:17:52,119 --> 00:17:58,760 Speaker 4: was very persistent, but I was happy. And when he 277 00:17:58,920 --> 00:18:04,240 Speaker 4: came into my life, slowly but surely, he just completed 278 00:18:04,280 --> 00:18:10,000 Speaker 4: me in that way. So when he tells me that 279 00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:21,120 Speaker 4: he wants to transition into a woman, I I wasn't 280 00:18:21,280 --> 00:18:24,920 Speaker 4: angry at it at all. I did tell him, well, 281 00:18:25,520 --> 00:18:28,439 Speaker 4: if you like to dress as a woman, like, I 282 00:18:28,560 --> 00:18:32,920 Speaker 4: have nothing against it. It's just I fell in love 283 00:18:32,960 --> 00:18:34,040 Speaker 4: with you as a guy, you know. 284 00:18:38,280 --> 00:18:41,320 Speaker 1: Yeah. 285 00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:44,119 Speaker 4: And I even asked him like, well, what's your plan 286 00:18:44,480 --> 00:18:47,080 Speaker 4: if you like, do you still want to have kids? 287 00:18:47,440 --> 00:18:49,800 Speaker 4: He said yeah, And so I asked him, like, what's 288 00:18:49,800 --> 00:18:54,320 Speaker 4: the plan done? Like how how do you want that 289 00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:58,639 Speaker 4: to work? And so he said that he would keep 290 00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:00,600 Speaker 4: certain areas with his for that. 291 00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:02,119 Speaker 1: Uh. 292 00:19:04,160 --> 00:19:08,480 Speaker 4: But Also, what I'm trying to understand is like he's 293 00:19:08,640 --> 00:19:11,800 Speaker 4: always wanted to have a son so he can have 294 00:19:11,840 --> 00:19:15,080 Speaker 4: that relationship that him and his dad had when he 295 00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:22,320 Speaker 4: was growing up. So I just want to know, like how, 296 00:19:22,440 --> 00:19:26,639 Speaker 4: you how how would we make it work if he 297 00:19:26,720 --> 00:19:34,479 Speaker 4: wants to change gender and still have like that father figure. 298 00:19:35,520 --> 00:19:42,080 Speaker 1: M hm m hm, ma'am. This is a very very 299 00:19:42,480 --> 00:19:45,800 Speaker 1: tough issue. I don't have any sort of right answer, 300 00:19:45,800 --> 00:19:47,879 Speaker 1: but I have, like, I don't know, I have thoughts 301 00:19:47,880 --> 00:19:55,960 Speaker 1: because I'm thinking about your your ex, this person, and 302 00:19:58,119 --> 00:20:03,199 Speaker 1: I'm sure for them with everything they're dealing with and 303 00:20:03,280 --> 00:20:07,560 Speaker 1: just in their life in general, both of you guys 304 00:20:08,480 --> 00:20:15,480 Speaker 1: should have people as your significant other that you're excited about, 305 00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:21,119 Speaker 1: you know, and this person transitioning, I mean, that's a 306 00:20:21,119 --> 00:20:26,040 Speaker 1: big part of who they are. It's important enough to 307 00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:29,560 Speaker 1: them to transition that they're going to do it, and 308 00:20:29,560 --> 00:20:32,280 Speaker 1: it becomes a big part of this person's identity that 309 00:20:32,359 --> 00:20:37,840 Speaker 1: they are now living and presenting as a woman. And 310 00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:42,240 Speaker 1: they should have somebody in their life who is accepting 311 00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:47,600 Speaker 1: and not just accepting, but like excited about it and 312 00:20:47,640 --> 00:20:54,359 Speaker 1: embracing it. And you should have somebody is your significant 313 00:20:54,400 --> 00:21:00,080 Speaker 1: other who you're excited about and who you embrace fully 314 00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:06,679 Speaker 1: and that's really hard. So I do believe both of 315 00:21:06,720 --> 00:21:11,720 Speaker 1: you should have people in your life who you're excited about. 316 00:21:12,320 --> 00:21:21,240 Speaker 1: And I don't. I don't know. I don't know how 317 00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:26,280 Speaker 1: you would sort of come to terms with that, because this, 318 00:21:26,280 --> 00:21:30,320 Speaker 1: this being a big deal for you is what it is. 319 00:21:31,720 --> 00:21:35,840 Speaker 1: You know, this having its problems for you is what 320 00:21:35,880 --> 00:21:40,440 Speaker 1: it is, and it's it's a hard thing to reconcile with. 321 00:21:41,520 --> 00:21:44,680 Speaker 1: I don't know all I all I really feel about 322 00:21:44,680 --> 00:21:47,840 Speaker 1: this situation is that both of you should be really 323 00:21:47,880 --> 00:21:52,080 Speaker 1: excited about each other and about who each other is. 324 00:21:53,600 --> 00:21:58,879 Speaker 1: And I don't know with you, like and I do 325 00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:01,000 Speaker 1: this is all speculation, you know, this is a tough issue. 326 00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:02,480 Speaker 1: And I'm a guy and I got of costum on 327 00:22:02,520 --> 00:22:07,280 Speaker 1: the internet, but uh, like, could you these are just 328 00:22:07,320 --> 00:22:10,679 Speaker 1: ideas I'm playing with in my mind, Like could you, 329 00:22:10,680 --> 00:22:15,840 Speaker 1: you know, be initially resistant to this but put in 330 00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:20,439 Speaker 1: some effort and learn to embrace it, and both of 331 00:22:20,480 --> 00:22:25,840 Speaker 1: you kind of can move forward with that understanding that 332 00:22:25,840 --> 00:22:28,600 Speaker 1: that you're going to put an effort towards this thing 333 00:22:29,920 --> 00:22:35,840 Speaker 1: and towards embracing it, or will that not work? And 334 00:22:35,880 --> 00:22:37,320 Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know if that will work 335 00:22:37,440 --> 00:22:39,040 Speaker 1: or not. I really have no idea. 336 00:22:41,600 --> 00:22:47,720 Speaker 4: I feel like initially I I would and like I 337 00:22:47,840 --> 00:22:51,080 Speaker 4: told him, like I have no issue with him dressing 338 00:22:51,119 --> 00:22:54,159 Speaker 4: as a woman, Like it doesn't, it doesn't bother me, 339 00:22:54,200 --> 00:22:59,399 Speaker 4: It wouldn't bother me. And I know it's it's a 340 00:22:59,440 --> 00:23:02,639 Speaker 4: slow prop that he has to get into hormones and 341 00:23:02,680 --> 00:23:10,320 Speaker 4: all of that stuff. It just hurts because I love 342 00:23:10,400 --> 00:23:14,040 Speaker 4: him so so much, and like I obviously want to 343 00:23:14,080 --> 00:23:20,000 Speaker 4: see him happy, and sure I appreciate that he also 344 00:23:20,080 --> 00:23:28,040 Speaker 4: wants to get back with me. I don't know. I 345 00:23:28,280 --> 00:23:32,160 Speaker 4: feel like in the end, he would become the one 346 00:23:32,160 --> 00:23:34,360 Speaker 4: that got away. As cliche as. 347 00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:37,560 Speaker 1: It might sound, Okay, and here's another thing. You know, 348 00:23:37,640 --> 00:23:41,359 Speaker 1: you say you don't mind this person dressing as a woman. 349 00:23:42,480 --> 00:23:45,439 Speaker 1: You know, I don't know. And this and this what 350 00:23:45,440 --> 00:23:47,160 Speaker 1: I'm about to say, this would this would be part 351 00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:53,879 Speaker 1: of you, you know, needing to make an effort into 352 00:23:53,920 --> 00:23:57,399 Speaker 1: this to make it work. Is like, you know, I 353 00:23:57,400 --> 00:23:59,040 Speaker 1: don't know, I don't know this person's name whatever. But 354 00:23:59,160 --> 00:24:01,280 Speaker 1: they're not just talking they're just talking about dressing as 355 00:24:01,280 --> 00:24:05,040 Speaker 1: a woman. They're talking about transitioning into a woman. Wanting 356 00:24:05,080 --> 00:24:10,040 Speaker 1: you to really see them as a woman, wanting you 357 00:24:10,080 --> 00:24:15,160 Speaker 1: to call them she her. You know, it's a lot 358 00:24:15,200 --> 00:24:17,440 Speaker 1: more I feel like that they would want from you 359 00:24:17,600 --> 00:24:20,160 Speaker 1: than just hey, it's cool with me if you put 360 00:24:20,200 --> 00:24:24,919 Speaker 1: on women's clothing, and you know, you would have to 361 00:24:25,720 --> 00:24:30,800 Speaker 1: decide if you wanted to be with this person, if 362 00:24:30,840 --> 00:24:36,960 Speaker 1: that's something you could really apply effort into. And it 363 00:24:37,440 --> 00:24:43,080 Speaker 1: could just be you know that this person has gone 364 00:24:43,160 --> 00:24:50,040 Speaker 1: through a lot of struggles and changes and fighting thoughts 365 00:24:50,080 --> 00:24:52,880 Speaker 1: in their brain and they kind of came out with 366 00:24:53,480 --> 00:24:56,320 Speaker 1: this is what I need to be happy. And it 367 00:24:56,359 --> 00:25:00,920 Speaker 1: could be And again I'm just throwing out various different ideas. 368 00:25:01,119 --> 00:25:05,760 Speaker 1: I'm thinking it could be that this person transitions into 369 00:25:05,760 --> 00:25:09,120 Speaker 1: a woman and that makes them very happy, and as 370 00:25:09,160 --> 00:25:17,680 Speaker 1: a byproduct of that, you two become incompatible. That could 371 00:25:17,720 --> 00:25:22,320 Speaker 1: be it too, Yeah, and that might be hard. But 372 00:25:23,440 --> 00:25:26,600 Speaker 1: if you really do love this person, you really do 373 00:25:26,640 --> 00:25:29,360 Speaker 1: want to see them happy, I think you could find 374 00:25:29,400 --> 00:25:31,199 Speaker 1: it in them. I think you could find it in 375 00:25:31,240 --> 00:25:34,639 Speaker 1: yourself to accept that. I think if you really really 376 00:25:34,680 --> 00:25:38,080 Speaker 1: love this person, I think you could find it within 377 00:25:38,119 --> 00:25:45,880 Speaker 1: yourself to either accept that in this new stage of 378 00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:51,000 Speaker 1: their life, you guys are incompatible, but you wish them well, 379 00:25:52,600 --> 00:26:00,359 Speaker 1: or you're going to make a concentrated effort to really 380 00:26:00,440 --> 00:26:03,879 Speaker 1: get to know them as they are and get to 381 00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:07,600 Speaker 1: love them again in this new stage of their life. 382 00:26:07,920 --> 00:26:10,159 Speaker 1: And I don't think either of those options is the 383 00:26:10,200 --> 00:26:13,800 Speaker 1: right one or the wrong one. But I hope that 384 00:26:13,840 --> 00:26:17,840 Speaker 1: at least in talking about these you have a better 385 00:26:17,920 --> 00:26:24,760 Speaker 1: perspective on how you can move forward. Yeah, that makes sense. 386 00:26:24,600 --> 00:26:27,439 Speaker 4: I'm getting. The other thing would yeah, it does. And 387 00:26:28,800 --> 00:26:35,600 Speaker 4: the other thing I'm getting would be how to explain 388 00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:40,520 Speaker 4: it if let's say we do go as far as 389 00:26:40,560 --> 00:26:43,520 Speaker 4: like getting married and all of that, because I know 390 00:26:43,680 --> 00:26:52,480 Speaker 4: some people wouldn't be as accepting, wouldn't really understand soul. 391 00:26:54,520 --> 00:27:02,640 Speaker 4: And well, I'm Hispanics, so my family some of them 392 00:27:02,640 --> 00:27:09,200 Speaker 4: are very old school, and I know they wouldn't understand 393 00:27:09,240 --> 00:27:15,160 Speaker 4: it as easily. So and I mean, like I could 394 00:27:15,200 --> 00:27:17,439 Speaker 4: care love with you think if I'm with someone that 395 00:27:17,480 --> 00:27:28,480 Speaker 4: I love. 396 00:27:20,760 --> 00:27:26,600 Speaker 1: And yeah, yeah, and this is this is this is 397 00:27:26,640 --> 00:27:29,439 Speaker 1: part of you know, this is information that you have 398 00:27:29,480 --> 00:27:33,159 Speaker 1: to think about and considering way when you're making you know, 399 00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:35,600 Speaker 1: one of I mean, at least what I see is 400 00:27:35,720 --> 00:27:38,840 Speaker 1: as one of the two decisions that that you can make, 401 00:27:38,840 --> 00:27:41,719 Speaker 1: which is the decision to accept that you guys are 402 00:27:41,720 --> 00:27:44,600 Speaker 1: incompatible at this point, or to accept that you're going 403 00:27:44,600 --> 00:27:50,399 Speaker 1: to have to make a you know, concentrate effort into 404 00:27:50,600 --> 00:27:58,720 Speaker 1: understanding this person again. But yeah, Addie, you know I 405 00:27:59,160 --> 00:28:01,439 Speaker 1: I think I think it's good that you're thinking about 406 00:28:01,760 --> 00:28:06,240 Speaker 1: all this stuff so deeply because it means that you care. 407 00:28:09,680 --> 00:28:14,240 Speaker 1: I think I think I've said, uh what I think 408 00:28:14,280 --> 00:28:16,160 Speaker 1: about this, and I want to know if there's anything 409 00:28:16,200 --> 00:28:20,680 Speaker 1: else that you you want to say or cover before 410 00:28:20,680 --> 00:28:20,959 Speaker 1: we go. 411 00:28:27,440 --> 00:28:33,400 Speaker 4: I would I would really have to think it through thoroughly. 412 00:28:34,680 --> 00:28:42,720 Speaker 4: Should yeah, because nothing would make me happier than to 413 00:28:42,800 --> 00:28:52,760 Speaker 4: see him happy, and if that means transitioning, then as 414 00:28:52,840 --> 00:28:53,480 Speaker 4: long as. 415 00:28:54,840 --> 00:29:00,640 Speaker 1: He or she is happy, you know, ADDI, is there 416 00:29:00,640 --> 00:29:01,760 Speaker 1: anything else you want to say to the people of 417 00:29:01,800 --> 00:29:02,760 Speaker 1: the computer before we go? 418 00:29:04,280 --> 00:29:08,760 Speaker 4: Thank you? Get You're not a real therapist, but you 419 00:29:08,800 --> 00:29:13,160 Speaker 4: are really good at giving advice and just being someone 420 00:29:13,200 --> 00:29:13,680 Speaker 4: to listen. 421 00:29:14,840 --> 00:29:17,000 Speaker 1: Thank you very much, man. I appreciate you, and I 422 00:29:17,040 --> 00:29:19,320 Speaker 1: will I'll talk to you soon. Good luck. 423 00:29:21,160 --> 00:29:21,560 Speaker 4: Thank you. 424 00:29:23,400 --> 00:29:31,080 Speaker 1: Super super tough issue. Super tough issue. I don't know 425 00:29:31,120 --> 00:29:32,440 Speaker 1: if I have any wrap up thoughts. I feel like 426 00:29:32,440 --> 00:29:36,680 Speaker 1: I said everything I needed to say about that. I'm 427 00:29:36,720 --> 00:29:39,719 Speaker 1: surprised that I was able to formulate the thoughts that 428 00:29:39,760 --> 00:29:41,960 Speaker 1: I that I formulated on that call, because that is 429 00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:46,320 Speaker 1: a very, very tough issue. But to sum it up, 430 00:29:46,840 --> 00:29:48,520 Speaker 1: I think that, yeah, those are kind of what I 431 00:29:48,560 --> 00:29:53,080 Speaker 1: see at least. It's her two options is two forms 432 00:29:53,080 --> 00:29:57,560 Speaker 1: of acceptance, the first one being Okay, this person is 433 00:29:57,600 --> 00:29:59,320 Speaker 1: moving into a new phase of their life, and I 434 00:29:59,360 --> 00:30:03,040 Speaker 1: love them and before them, but we are simply not 435 00:30:03,120 --> 00:30:07,040 Speaker 1: compatible in this new phase of their life. That's the one. 436 00:30:07,400 --> 00:30:10,440 Speaker 1: Or this person is entering a new phase of their life, 437 00:30:10,840 --> 00:30:13,520 Speaker 1: and because I love them so much, I'm going to 438 00:30:13,760 --> 00:30:17,520 Speaker 1: put forth the effort of entering it with them, which 439 00:30:17,600 --> 00:30:24,600 Speaker 1: means understanding and fully realizing that this person is now 440 00:30:24,600 --> 00:30:27,760 Speaker 1: a woman, and I will treat them as such. I 441 00:30:27,760 --> 00:30:29,880 Speaker 1: will think of them as such. I will defend them 442 00:30:29,880 --> 00:30:35,360 Speaker 1: against my family, I will defend them against you know, 443 00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:38,920 Speaker 1: anyone else who thinks that what we're doing is wrong. 444 00:30:39,000 --> 00:30:43,600 Speaker 1: And I will will really take up that challenge, and 445 00:30:43,920 --> 00:30:47,400 Speaker 1: that challenge will be important to me to put action 446 00:30:47,560 --> 00:30:50,800 Speaker 1: toward because I love this person and neither of those 447 00:30:50,840 --> 00:30:54,600 Speaker 1: are the the other right or wrong answer. It's just 448 00:30:54,640 --> 00:30:57,600 Speaker 1: about in the end, what'll make her happier, which I 449 00:30:57,640 --> 00:31:00,640 Speaker 1: don't know, because I am not her. I am a 450 00:31:00,680 --> 00:31:07,360 Speaker 1: gecko on the computer. Hello, Hello, how you doing? 451 00:31:10,200 --> 00:31:11,040 Speaker 7: Was ship's you? 452 00:31:12,360 --> 00:31:12,640 Speaker 3: It's me. 453 00:31:15,040 --> 00:31:18,320 Speaker 5: I'm doing I'm doing. I didn't think here a pick up, 454 00:31:18,560 --> 00:31:23,600 Speaker 5: but I'm doing great. 455 00:31:24,320 --> 00:31:25,000 Speaker 1: Tell me everything? 456 00:31:25,080 --> 00:31:37,320 Speaker 5: He uh, well, recently, Uh, I met this girl off 457 00:31:37,360 --> 00:31:45,440 Speaker 5: the dating app, like last Sunday, and everything moved pretty fast. 458 00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:47,720 Speaker 5: We had sex in the back of my friend's car, 459 00:31:50,880 --> 00:31:55,880 Speaker 5: like two days later. We're still talking and he tells 460 00:31:55,960 --> 00:32:01,160 Speaker 5: me that she's like surprised because she's never really like 461 00:32:02,800 --> 00:32:04,920 Speaker 5: I met a guy who like treated her the way 462 00:32:04,920 --> 00:32:07,200 Speaker 5: that I do and so open and time and all that, 463 00:32:08,360 --> 00:32:15,200 Speaker 5: and she's like, she's just like spressing out your fields. 464 00:32:15,200 --> 00:32:17,320 Speaker 5: And then I kind of jumped the gun. 465 00:32:18,000 --> 00:32:18,920 Speaker 7: I went a bit too fast. 466 00:32:18,920 --> 00:32:20,560 Speaker 5: I should have thought more about what I was gonna say, 467 00:32:20,600 --> 00:32:23,400 Speaker 5: but I ended up basically saying that every down to 468 00:32:23,440 --> 00:32:25,480 Speaker 5: get serious and see like what we have and see 469 00:32:25,520 --> 00:32:26,080 Speaker 5: where it could go. 470 00:32:27,560 --> 00:32:32,320 Speaker 7: I'm ier said I'm ready to see where it goes, 471 00:32:32,960 --> 00:32:36,920 Speaker 7: and she was like, I like that, and then I 472 00:32:37,360 --> 00:32:40,280 Speaker 7: like ended up dating from that moment and that ended 473 00:32:40,360 --> 00:32:45,680 Speaker 7: up having on like fucking last Tuesday, and so we've 474 00:32:45,680 --> 00:32:46,080 Speaker 7: been dating. 475 00:32:46,320 --> 00:32:50,720 Speaker 1: This timeline is completely at this point. But good, then 476 00:32:50,760 --> 00:32:52,840 Speaker 1: you're go ahead. I'll ask for terarification later. Let me 477 00:32:52,880 --> 00:32:56,960 Speaker 1: get let me get the rest of these details, all right. 478 00:32:57,640 --> 00:32:59,880 Speaker 3: So I. 479 00:33:02,760 --> 00:33:10,240 Speaker 5: From Tuesday onward to in between Tuesday to yesterday, she's 480 00:33:10,360 --> 00:33:16,400 Speaker 5: like she's basically seeing me as that needle in a 481 00:33:16,480 --> 00:33:22,840 Speaker 5: haystack kind of person that like she's found the right guy. Okay, 482 00:33:23,440 --> 00:33:25,920 Speaker 5: that will like treat her right because she has a 483 00:33:28,040 --> 00:33:30,680 Speaker 5: she we had talked about it and she has like 484 00:33:31,880 --> 00:33:34,120 Speaker 5: she's been with many guys and they all kind of 485 00:33:34,120 --> 00:33:35,440 Speaker 5: treat her like crap and all that. 486 00:33:36,040 --> 00:33:37,719 Speaker 1: So what is what's your issue here? 487 00:33:37,960 --> 00:33:45,600 Speaker 5: Was So yesterday when we were hanging out, I've it's 488 00:33:45,640 --> 00:33:49,320 Speaker 5: been waiting on my mind, was that I don't really 489 00:33:49,400 --> 00:33:51,920 Speaker 5: feel the same way for her that she does for me, 490 00:33:52,040 --> 00:33:57,480 Speaker 5: and so I actually told her how I felt, and 491 00:33:57,520 --> 00:33:59,080 Speaker 5: we ended up breaking up on the spot. 492 00:34:00,720 --> 00:34:03,680 Speaker 1: And okay, so you dated this girl for about today. 493 00:34:03,720 --> 00:34:14,320 Speaker 5: We were pretty much okay, And so we're talking today 494 00:34:14,320 --> 00:34:20,279 Speaker 5: every today, and she was telling me that she because 495 00:34:20,360 --> 00:34:23,719 Speaker 5: on Saturday we had we had no protect effect and 496 00:34:24,040 --> 00:34:28,880 Speaker 5: I came inside her and she had told me today 497 00:34:28,880 --> 00:34:34,120 Speaker 5: that she forgot to take the pill on Saturday. And 498 00:34:34,239 --> 00:34:41,640 Speaker 5: so we were currently talking about it earlier, and based 499 00:34:41,640 --> 00:34:45,400 Speaker 5: on her cycle, there's like a seventy five percent chance 500 00:34:45,480 --> 00:34:53,160 Speaker 5: that she might get pregnant. And she she tried to 501 00:34:53,160 --> 00:34:56,880 Speaker 5: go to get Plan B today at the store, but 502 00:34:57,840 --> 00:35:00,520 Speaker 5: she was trying to do it the screen because her 503 00:35:00,560 --> 00:35:06,160 Speaker 5: parents are like very conservative in pro life, but they 504 00:35:06,280 --> 00:35:11,640 Speaker 5: found out and so they pretty much like grounded her 505 00:35:11,680 --> 00:35:15,800 Speaker 5: right now, and so I'm just trying to like comfort 506 00:35:15,880 --> 00:35:20,560 Speaker 5: her through it. And she's like super scared and she 507 00:35:20,600 --> 00:35:23,319 Speaker 5: doesn't know what to do, but I don't know what 508 00:35:23,400 --> 00:35:27,080 Speaker 5: to do either. But I'm just trying to keep calm 509 00:35:27,160 --> 00:35:31,120 Speaker 5: and like think of all the possible ways to help 510 00:35:31,160 --> 00:35:36,759 Speaker 5: her out because she wants she we both don't want 511 00:35:36,800 --> 00:35:41,080 Speaker 5: a child. We both know that we're not ready for one. 512 00:35:41,680 --> 00:35:46,240 Speaker 5: We're pretty young and all that, And I'm just trying 513 00:35:46,239 --> 00:35:48,719 Speaker 5: to like let her know that if I have to, 514 00:35:48,840 --> 00:35:52,680 Speaker 5: I'll do what I can. If she ends up being pregnant, 515 00:35:52,920 --> 00:35:58,600 Speaker 5: then I'll do what i can to be a father 516 00:35:59,280 --> 00:35:59,879 Speaker 5: pretty much. 517 00:36:01,960 --> 00:36:04,279 Speaker 1: Okay, say, if you talked about what you guys are 518 00:36:04,280 --> 00:36:06,200 Speaker 1: going to do if it turns out that she's pregnant. 519 00:36:11,440 --> 00:36:15,240 Speaker 5: We haven't talked about it too much. We've just mainly 520 00:36:15,280 --> 00:36:22,719 Speaker 5: been discussing on the different things to do, to the 521 00:36:22,760 --> 00:36:27,960 Speaker 5: different routes to go for trying to either take an 522 00:36:28,000 --> 00:36:33,480 Speaker 5: emergency contraceptive, which I think after today, if you were 523 00:36:33,520 --> 00:36:35,239 Speaker 5: to take one then it just wouldn't work. 524 00:36:35,880 --> 00:36:38,160 Speaker 1: I don't I don't know. I'm not a doctor, I'm 525 00:36:38,200 --> 00:36:42,560 Speaker 1: a gecko, but I don't know what the whole window 526 00:36:42,719 --> 00:36:45,799 Speaker 1: is for emergency contraceptives. But if you're gonna do, if 527 00:36:45,840 --> 00:36:47,840 Speaker 1: you're going to try to get an emergency contraceptive, I 528 00:36:47,840 --> 00:36:50,040 Speaker 1: would suggest getting off the phone with me and going 529 00:36:50,080 --> 00:36:53,800 Speaker 1: to find one right now, if that is your plan. 530 00:36:54,160 --> 00:37:00,000 Speaker 5: So we we talked about it, but because their parents 531 00:37:00,160 --> 00:37:05,200 Speaker 5: tried to get one, but her parents pretty much like 532 00:37:05,360 --> 00:37:11,880 Speaker 5: found out and stopped her, and so well, dude, why. 533 00:37:09,960 --> 00:37:11,799 Speaker 1: Don't you try to go get one if the plan 534 00:37:11,920 --> 00:37:12,480 Speaker 1: is to get one. 535 00:37:14,840 --> 00:37:16,520 Speaker 7: I don't have a car. 536 00:37:17,239 --> 00:37:20,160 Speaker 5: I mainly use my friend's car, and he's kind of 537 00:37:20,200 --> 00:37:22,359 Speaker 5: like away right now. He probably won't be back till 538 00:37:22,400 --> 00:37:23,000 Speaker 5: later in the night. 539 00:37:23,560 --> 00:37:29,200 Speaker 1: Jose and Jose, if you if you and this girl, 540 00:37:29,239 --> 00:37:31,000 Speaker 1: do you do you not feel like you are able 541 00:37:31,040 --> 00:37:36,120 Speaker 1: to have a kid and you're trying to get rid 542 00:37:36,160 --> 00:37:39,080 Speaker 1: of this issue before it becomes a bigger issue. Walk 543 00:37:39,200 --> 00:37:44,800 Speaker 1: to CBS, get off the phone with me and walk there. 544 00:37:46,560 --> 00:37:50,240 Speaker 1: Take the three hour, take the three hour walk to CBS, 545 00:37:50,719 --> 00:37:55,319 Speaker 1: and then walk another two hours to her house. You 546 00:37:55,320 --> 00:37:58,680 Speaker 1: don't need a car. You need to take care of 547 00:37:58,760 --> 00:38:01,400 Speaker 1: this problem, my friends, what are you doing this? You 548 00:38:01,400 --> 00:38:05,560 Speaker 1: don't have a car? Well, freaking walk there, dude. The 549 00:38:05,600 --> 00:38:06,520 Speaker 1: time is running out. 550 00:38:06,520 --> 00:38:16,160 Speaker 5: If this is the plan, all right, you got me there? 551 00:38:16,160 --> 00:38:20,359 Speaker 1: Man, all right, so go to CBS. Where do you 552 00:38:20,440 --> 00:38:25,520 Speaker 1: do you know? Do this? I mean, dude, if if, 553 00:38:25,760 --> 00:38:29,440 Speaker 1: if you guys don't want to have to you know, 554 00:38:29,640 --> 00:38:32,520 Speaker 1: make this into a larger issue and you need emergency 555 00:38:32,520 --> 00:38:38,160 Speaker 1: contraceptive freaking go walk to CBS, get Plan B, then 556 00:38:38,400 --> 00:38:42,040 Speaker 1: walk to her house, discreetly meet her somewhere where her 557 00:38:42,080 --> 00:38:44,480 Speaker 1: parents won't know, and get her the plan B. 558 00:38:48,760 --> 00:38:54,399 Speaker 5: All right, go now, all right, I will man, all. 559 00:38:54,360 --> 00:38:56,400 Speaker 1: Right, talk to you soon, Jose. I hope it all 560 00:38:56,400 --> 00:38:57,160 Speaker 1: works out. 561 00:38:59,000 --> 00:38:59,320 Speaker 2: Thank you. 562 00:39:00,239 --> 00:39:04,040 Speaker 1: H I had more questions for him, but he's he is. 563 00:39:04,440 --> 00:39:06,680 Speaker 1: He absolutely does not have time to be on my 564 00:39:06,760 --> 00:39:13,279 Speaker 1: podcast right now. I because I can guarantee you that 565 00:39:15,160 --> 00:39:21,239 Speaker 1: it will be the tedium that exists for you in 566 00:39:21,280 --> 00:39:25,960 Speaker 1: the future if you do not take care of the situation, 567 00:39:26,600 --> 00:39:34,200 Speaker 1: will far out way walking two hours to CVS. I'm 568 00:39:34,200 --> 00:39:37,279 Speaker 1: not crazy, right, Well, like, does anyone know if I 569 00:39:37,320 --> 00:39:48,920 Speaker 1: were in that situation, I'm walking to CVS, running to CVS. 570 00:39:54,160 --> 00:39:59,359 Speaker 1: I can't believe. I can't believe that. He was like, yeah, 571 00:39:59,360 --> 00:40:02,239 Speaker 1: the window was running out and he decided to call me, 572 00:40:03,760 --> 00:40:07,600 Speaker 1: and you know what, it was a good decision because 573 00:40:07,640 --> 00:40:12,760 Speaker 1: he is he actually on his way to CBS right now. Hello. 574 00:40:16,200 --> 00:40:17,240 Speaker 3: Hey, is this GEK? 575 00:40:18,120 --> 00:40:19,080 Speaker 1: Yeah? Is this Stephen? 576 00:40:21,440 --> 00:40:23,799 Speaker 3: This is Stephen. How's it going, man? 577 00:40:25,080 --> 00:40:28,239 Speaker 1: Stephen? Uh? What's your life? Like? 578 00:40:31,280 --> 00:40:35,560 Speaker 3: Well, it's I guess you could say it suddenly got 579 00:40:35,560 --> 00:40:40,680 Speaker 3: a little a little interesting. When I was, uh, I 580 00:40:40,719 --> 00:40:44,680 Speaker 3: don't know, like fifteen, sixteen years old, I was diagnosed 581 00:40:45,200 --> 00:40:50,160 Speaker 3: with an autoimmune disease that made me lose all my hair. Right, 582 00:40:50,640 --> 00:40:54,759 Speaker 3: So when I was like sixteen years old, I've been 583 00:40:54,800 --> 00:41:00,799 Speaker 3: I've been completely Baldkin's man. And now I don't really 584 00:41:00,800 --> 00:41:07,520 Speaker 3: know why. But now I'm growing hair back and I 585 00:41:07,560 --> 00:41:09,520 Speaker 3: don't know, like I gotta shave my face now for 586 00:41:09,560 --> 00:41:11,560 Speaker 3: the first time ever, and I don't really know how 587 00:41:11,560 --> 00:41:14,680 Speaker 3: to do that. And I got to like start like, 588 00:41:14,800 --> 00:41:17,000 Speaker 3: I guess taking care of my hair stuff like that, 589 00:41:18,360 --> 00:41:21,280 Speaker 3: and I'm not really sure, like I've never done it before, 590 00:41:21,400 --> 00:41:21,680 Speaker 3: you know. 591 00:41:24,920 --> 00:41:32,800 Speaker 1: So you don't know how to have hairy. 592 00:41:29,600 --> 00:41:32,759 Speaker 3: Yeah, pretty much. I don't know how to deal with it. 593 00:41:35,000 --> 00:41:38,759 Speaker 1: When you were fourteen, thirteen, twelve, eleven, ten, did you 594 00:41:38,800 --> 00:41:39,120 Speaker 1: have hair? 595 00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:47,160 Speaker 3: So, when I was in like I would say, like 596 00:41:47,200 --> 00:41:50,640 Speaker 3: elementary to middle school, it start it starts coming out 597 00:41:50,640 --> 00:41:54,080 Speaker 3: in like patches almost, but my hair was so thin 598 00:41:54,239 --> 00:41:58,080 Speaker 3: and so short that there was really no like I 599 00:41:58,080 --> 00:42:02,840 Speaker 3: couldn't really style it anyway, so kind of not really 600 00:42:03,040 --> 00:42:05,160 Speaker 3: I had hair at that age, but not really. 601 00:42:08,080 --> 00:42:12,880 Speaker 1: Do you like having hair? Is this something you're excited about? 602 00:42:15,920 --> 00:42:16,200 Speaker 2: Well? 603 00:42:16,280 --> 00:42:19,759 Speaker 3: I see, and that's and that's where I don't know, 604 00:42:20,640 --> 00:42:25,160 Speaker 3: because being bald has been such a part of my 605 00:42:25,200 --> 00:42:29,320 Speaker 3: personality for a long time, right like almost ten years, 606 00:42:30,400 --> 00:42:33,200 Speaker 3: you know what I'm saying. So it's like that was 607 00:42:33,280 --> 00:42:37,279 Speaker 3: me for so long, and I don't know. I don't 608 00:42:37,320 --> 00:42:38,320 Speaker 3: know if I want to I don't know if I 609 00:42:38,400 --> 00:42:39,279 Speaker 3: want to go with that. No. 610 00:42:40,719 --> 00:42:46,000 Speaker 1: Interesting, So you got this disease, it caused you to 611 00:42:46,040 --> 00:42:53,040 Speaker 1: lose all your hair, and right, being bald all of 612 00:42:53,080 --> 00:42:55,640 Speaker 1: a sudden was something that you started to embrace. 613 00:42:58,560 --> 00:43:00,560 Speaker 3: Oh for sure, definitely definitely. 614 00:43:03,640 --> 00:43:07,960 Speaker 1: And are you considering just shaving off the hair that's 615 00:43:08,000 --> 00:43:09,320 Speaker 1: growing back. 616 00:43:11,760 --> 00:43:17,160 Speaker 3: Yes and no, I don't know I would say I 617 00:43:17,160 --> 00:43:21,200 Speaker 3: would say yes if you know, I feel like I 618 00:43:21,239 --> 00:43:24,759 Speaker 3: want to keep you know, that look, but also at 619 00:43:24,760 --> 00:43:26,759 Speaker 3: the same time, like this could be an opportunity for 620 00:43:26,840 --> 00:43:30,279 Speaker 3: me to like be a little different than I have. Then, 621 00:43:30,520 --> 00:43:32,600 Speaker 3: you know, m. 622 00:43:34,400 --> 00:43:39,320 Speaker 1: Do you feel as though your personality would change along 623 00:43:39,360 --> 00:43:40,000 Speaker 1: with your look? 624 00:43:44,719 --> 00:43:48,719 Speaker 3: That's a great question. I would hope not, you know, 625 00:43:49,160 --> 00:43:53,200 Speaker 3: like I don't think there would be Yeah, I guess, 626 00:43:53,239 --> 00:43:55,319 Speaker 3: I guess I hope not, but maybe it would. Maybe 627 00:43:55,640 --> 00:43:57,480 Speaker 3: maybe I would change my personality. I don't know. 628 00:44:00,800 --> 00:44:05,920 Speaker 1: You said your personality was tied to your baldness, and 629 00:44:05,960 --> 00:44:07,400 Speaker 1: what exactly did you mean by that? 630 00:44:10,160 --> 00:44:15,520 Speaker 3: Well, you know, I mean growing up in you know, 631 00:44:15,719 --> 00:44:18,399 Speaker 3: I mean I grew up in a big town, right, 632 00:44:18,440 --> 00:44:22,040 Speaker 3: and a lot of people, and I was the only 633 00:44:22,160 --> 00:44:25,120 Speaker 3: obviously the only kid that didn't have hair or was 634 00:44:25,160 --> 00:44:27,719 Speaker 3: like losing hair stuff like that. Bald, kay, Right. But 635 00:44:27,760 --> 00:44:30,520 Speaker 3: then I would do like I did a lot of 636 00:44:30,560 --> 00:44:34,000 Speaker 3: theater in school, so like I would be on stage 637 00:44:34,000 --> 00:44:37,640 Speaker 3: and I'd be like performing, and it would always be like, oh, 638 00:44:37,880 --> 00:44:39,880 Speaker 3: you know, that's that's ball Kate. He was on stage 639 00:44:39,960 --> 00:44:42,520 Speaker 3: other night, and that kind of like I kind of 640 00:44:42,560 --> 00:44:46,040 Speaker 3: just like adopted that, I guess, And I don't know, 641 00:44:46,040 --> 00:44:47,160 Speaker 3: that's just so it's how it's been. 642 00:44:48,600 --> 00:44:52,799 Speaker 1: Interesting. So this thing that made you very different at 643 00:44:52,800 --> 00:44:58,120 Speaker 1: a young age, for a lot of people, they would 644 00:44:58,120 --> 00:45:04,000 Speaker 1: feel like that's a bad thing, but you're embracing it 645 00:45:04,040 --> 00:45:08,680 Speaker 1: as of a sort of pride in being different. 646 00:45:10,800 --> 00:45:17,160 Speaker 3: Exactly, and and that that is why I'm I guess, 647 00:45:17,280 --> 00:45:19,120 Speaker 3: I guess for a lack of a better word, having 648 00:45:19,160 --> 00:45:24,160 Speaker 3: like an identity crisis, I guess because like that was 649 00:45:24,520 --> 00:45:26,640 Speaker 3: you know, that was something that I didn't embrace, and 650 00:45:26,680 --> 00:45:29,200 Speaker 3: now it's kind of like, oh my god, like that's 651 00:45:29,280 --> 00:45:29,879 Speaker 3: changing now. 652 00:45:31,920 --> 00:45:36,439 Speaker 1: And so now that your hair is growing back, that 653 00:45:36,520 --> 00:45:42,040 Speaker 1: thing that made you different is going away, and you're 654 00:45:42,920 --> 00:45:49,000 Speaker 1: exactly trying to figure out how to maintain yourself. 655 00:45:51,800 --> 00:45:54,040 Speaker 3: Yeah, pretty much. And like I said, like at the 656 00:45:54,080 --> 00:45:56,600 Speaker 3: same time, it could be an opportunity for me to 657 00:45:57,560 --> 00:46:01,080 Speaker 3: change my life. I'm twenty three now, so well it's 658 00:46:01,080 --> 00:46:03,000 Speaker 3: been a while, like I've been like this for a while, 659 00:46:03,080 --> 00:46:06,880 Speaker 3: so like it could also be an opportunity to to 660 00:46:07,040 --> 00:46:10,520 Speaker 3: change in appearance. But I don't know if that's necessarily something, 661 00:46:10,680 --> 00:46:11,799 Speaker 3: like I said, I'm willing to give up. 662 00:46:12,640 --> 00:46:16,520 Speaker 1: Well, Steven, you fucked yourself a little bit, which is fine, 663 00:46:16,560 --> 00:46:20,200 Speaker 1: which is understandable when you're when you're a teamer, it's 664 00:46:20,280 --> 00:46:24,279 Speaker 1: understandable you fucked yourself a little bit. Any Time you 665 00:46:24,480 --> 00:46:29,920 Speaker 1: define yourself as a person by one particular thing, especially 666 00:46:30,040 --> 00:46:35,440 Speaker 1: like an aesthetic thing like this, you completely fuck yourself. 667 00:46:37,800 --> 00:46:41,560 Speaker 1: I think you're understanding that now because you really want 668 00:46:41,600 --> 00:46:45,319 Speaker 1: to diversified life portfolio, whatever it is. And we've talked 669 00:46:45,360 --> 00:46:47,400 Speaker 1: about this on here before and it's and it's a 670 00:46:48,640 --> 00:46:51,120 Speaker 1: thing I do like thinking about, is how how we 671 00:46:51,239 --> 00:46:53,640 Speaker 1: like to look at ourselves and define ourselves and whatnot. 672 00:46:54,680 --> 00:46:59,160 Speaker 1: And if you pick any one thing your job, your 673 00:46:59,320 --> 00:47:04,800 Speaker 1: significant other, the way that you dress, yourn, even things 674 00:47:04,800 --> 00:47:10,680 Speaker 1: that are like you know, important, like your family, being kind, 675 00:47:11,640 --> 00:47:17,600 Speaker 1: anything like that. If you just pick one handful of things, 676 00:47:17,680 --> 00:47:21,680 Speaker 1: or almost any handful of things to just veheomally define 677 00:47:21,719 --> 00:47:27,400 Speaker 1: yourself by, you totally fuck yourself. Because you want to 678 00:47:27,440 --> 00:47:30,320 Speaker 1: be elastic in that. You don't want to be defined. 679 00:47:30,760 --> 00:47:34,200 Speaker 1: You don't want to be the bald guy. You're a complex, 680 00:47:35,840 --> 00:47:40,840 Speaker 1: magnificent miracle of the universe. You can be infinite things 681 00:47:40,880 --> 00:47:45,319 Speaker 1: at all times. I really do believe that. So you 682 00:47:45,360 --> 00:47:51,080 Speaker 1: buy well i'd glad. I'm glad that your hair is 683 00:47:51,120 --> 00:47:54,320 Speaker 1: growing back and that the universe is telling you, Hey, Steven, 684 00:47:55,320 --> 00:47:58,440 Speaker 1: quit fucking thinking of yourself as the bald guy and 685 00:47:58,520 --> 00:48:03,080 Speaker 1: go out and be a person. Go find different other 686 00:48:03,200 --> 00:48:06,640 Speaker 1: facets of your life. So let's get into that. I mean, 687 00:48:06,680 --> 00:48:12,400 Speaker 1: what what else gives you purpose and meaning in your 688 00:48:12,480 --> 00:48:13,480 Speaker 1: in your existence. 689 00:48:16,719 --> 00:48:21,879 Speaker 3: Yeah that's I couldn't probably have said it better. Yeah, 690 00:48:21,920 --> 00:48:25,960 Speaker 3: I guess, Like, like I said, I was in theater 691 00:48:26,160 --> 00:48:28,880 Speaker 3: in in school, like in high school and in college, 692 00:48:28,920 --> 00:48:34,080 Speaker 3: I was in theater. And I guess like another thing 693 00:48:34,160 --> 00:48:37,319 Speaker 3: that I would define myself by is like my my 694 00:48:37,480 --> 00:48:41,960 Speaker 3: musical ability. You know, yeah, I play instruments, you know, 695 00:48:42,680 --> 00:48:46,000 Speaker 3: that kind of thing. I definitely like have always been 696 00:48:46,040 --> 00:48:49,400 Speaker 3: into music as a kid and like as an adult. 697 00:48:52,200 --> 00:48:57,239 Speaker 3: But yeah, I don't know. I think, you know, I think, 698 00:48:57,320 --> 00:49:00,520 Speaker 3: obviously like the important pillars of life, like family and 699 00:49:00,560 --> 00:49:02,440 Speaker 3: friends and that kind of stuff, that those all give 700 00:49:02,520 --> 00:49:06,640 Speaker 3: me purpose. But I do feel like that I may 701 00:49:06,719 --> 00:49:13,160 Speaker 3: put a little too much importance on my relationship with people, 702 00:49:13,600 --> 00:49:18,799 Speaker 3: you know, and like I kind of think, oh well, 703 00:49:18,880 --> 00:49:21,840 Speaker 3: if my relationship is good with them, that means that 704 00:49:21,920 --> 00:49:24,439 Speaker 3: I'm doing something good. And like I'm good, a good person. 705 00:49:24,719 --> 00:49:27,560 Speaker 3: Like my relationship is bad. It's like, oh my god, Like, 706 00:49:27,600 --> 00:49:29,439 Speaker 3: what have I done to make this relationship so bad? 707 00:49:29,719 --> 00:49:35,040 Speaker 1: You know, right, right, And I think that there's legitimacy 708 00:49:35,080 --> 00:49:39,040 Speaker 1: to that. But you you want to have a diversified 709 00:49:39,120 --> 00:49:44,200 Speaker 1: life portfolio. So that way, when you you know, wake 710 00:49:44,280 --> 00:49:47,160 Speaker 1: up one day and your friend is mad at you 711 00:49:49,160 --> 00:49:53,200 Speaker 1: for whatever reason, you know, you can go into your 712 00:49:53,280 --> 00:49:59,319 Speaker 1: little music studio thing and play the flute and go, okay, well, 713 00:49:59,320 --> 00:50:03,360 Speaker 1: at least I have the flute. And then when you 714 00:50:04,040 --> 00:50:06,840 Speaker 1: and then on another day, when you and your friend 715 00:50:06,920 --> 00:50:09,560 Speaker 1: go get ice cream and have a great time, and 716 00:50:09,560 --> 00:50:11,759 Speaker 1: then afterwards you go to play your flute and you 717 00:50:11,840 --> 00:50:14,200 Speaker 1: suck at the flute, you can go, well, I sucked 718 00:50:14,200 --> 00:50:15,680 Speaker 1: at the flute today, but at least I had a 719 00:50:15,719 --> 00:50:18,600 Speaker 1: good time hanging out with my friends. You know. So 720 00:50:18,760 --> 00:50:23,080 Speaker 1: you want to derive enjoyment and meaning and purpose from 721 00:50:23,080 --> 00:50:25,560 Speaker 1: a variety of different things. If you don't do that, 722 00:50:26,239 --> 00:50:31,160 Speaker 1: you just totally fuck yourself and let yourself get thrown 723 00:50:31,239 --> 00:50:38,120 Speaker 1: around by the whim of of you know, whatever is 724 00:50:38,200 --> 00:50:40,880 Speaker 1: going right or wrong with the thing you've decided to 725 00:50:40,880 --> 00:50:44,680 Speaker 1: define yourself by. I've learned this a bunch of times 726 00:50:44,719 --> 00:50:45,359 Speaker 1: in my own life. 727 00:50:45,360 --> 00:50:51,880 Speaker 3: Man, M Yeah, I mean that's definitely all true, Like 728 00:50:51,920 --> 00:50:55,680 Speaker 3: that's something all valid. Yeah, I guess I guess maybe 729 00:50:55,840 --> 00:50:57,839 Speaker 3: maybe I should, uh, I don't pick up a new 730 00:50:57,840 --> 00:50:59,840 Speaker 3: hobby or something. I guess, like, what shall you do? 731 00:51:01,520 --> 00:51:03,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, you should pick up a new hobby. What do 732 00:51:03,200 --> 00:51:04,600 Speaker 1: you like to do? I mean, you like to see 733 00:51:04,600 --> 00:51:08,200 Speaker 1: your music? Guy, you like to act? Why don't you 734 00:51:08,200 --> 00:51:12,839 Speaker 1: go make fucking tiktoks of you lip syncing to a thing? 735 00:51:14,200 --> 00:51:16,640 Speaker 1: Although there was that one guy. Here's that one guy 736 00:51:16,640 --> 00:51:19,040 Speaker 1: who just did that and he got made fun of 737 00:51:19,080 --> 00:51:21,240 Speaker 1: a lot on the internet, and so that might happen 738 00:51:21,239 --> 00:51:21,879 Speaker 1: to you as well. 739 00:51:21,960 --> 00:51:26,080 Speaker 3: But there's no such thing as a bad press, right. 740 00:51:26,880 --> 00:51:31,719 Speaker 1: No, well that's not true either. But Steven, I think 741 00:51:31,719 --> 00:51:34,880 Speaker 1: you're more than just your hair, and I think it's 742 00:51:35,040 --> 00:51:40,120 Speaker 1: it's silly of you to define yourself by that when 743 00:51:40,200 --> 00:51:44,320 Speaker 1: you are clearly uh, you know, any amount of infinite 744 00:51:44,400 --> 00:51:46,480 Speaker 1: things that you could desire to be. 745 00:51:49,320 --> 00:51:52,200 Speaker 3: Definitely, yeah, yeah, that's that's very true. And I don't 746 00:51:52,200 --> 00:51:54,960 Speaker 3: think I've thought about it like that until quite recently. 747 00:51:55,800 --> 00:52:00,279 Speaker 3: But yeah, I definitely, like I started like I have 748 00:52:00,320 --> 00:52:02,080 Speaker 3: a TikTok count obviously, and like I started trying to 749 00:52:02,080 --> 00:52:06,760 Speaker 3: make more content, and like that's been really enjoyable, even 750 00:52:06,800 --> 00:52:08,719 Speaker 3: even if it doesn't the videos don't do well, Like 751 00:52:08,760 --> 00:52:12,560 Speaker 3: I still like making that content, you know, like it's 752 00:52:12,600 --> 00:52:14,520 Speaker 3: just fun to do. So maybe that's by the way. 753 00:52:14,680 --> 00:52:16,480 Speaker 1: By the way, Steven, I, I don't know if we 754 00:52:16,560 --> 00:52:18,600 Speaker 1: talked about this already. I think we did, but I 755 00:52:18,640 --> 00:52:20,759 Speaker 1: just want to hammer it in. If you don't like 756 00:52:20,840 --> 00:52:25,480 Speaker 1: having hair and you like being bald, you can just 757 00:52:25,600 --> 00:52:27,719 Speaker 1: you can just shave off your hair. 758 00:52:29,760 --> 00:52:33,560 Speaker 3: Oh for sure, definitely, definitely, yeah, And that's definitely been 759 00:52:33,640 --> 00:52:37,280 Speaker 3: like a like a real possibility for me, like probably 760 00:52:37,400 --> 00:52:39,680 Speaker 3: more than likely I'll do that. But you know, I 761 00:52:39,760 --> 00:52:42,239 Speaker 3: just kind of as I've been thinking about it and 762 00:52:42,239 --> 00:52:44,560 Speaker 3: as it's been growing, and then the thing about it 763 00:52:44,600 --> 00:52:46,279 Speaker 3: is that it's not just on my head, It's like 764 00:52:46,320 --> 00:52:50,440 Speaker 3: everywhere in my body, right, So I'm growing hair on. 765 00:52:51,080 --> 00:52:57,800 Speaker 1: A little TIMI Steven, geez, we can talk about we 766 00:52:57,840 --> 00:53:00,560 Speaker 1: can talk about pubes on here. Okay, so you're getting pubes. 767 00:53:01,160 --> 00:53:02,480 Speaker 1: How are you feeling about the pubes? 768 00:53:03,360 --> 00:53:07,399 Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm not really worried. 769 00:53:08,280 --> 00:53:12,839 Speaker 1: I have an incredibly hairy both ass cheeks and asshole 770 00:53:13,760 --> 00:53:19,000 Speaker 1: And how does that serve me it. I don't know. 771 00:53:19,280 --> 00:53:22,720 Speaker 1: It makes like, you know, if a person's ever down there, 772 00:53:23,320 --> 00:53:26,920 Speaker 1: I feel like they're judging me a little bit. But 773 00:53:26,960 --> 00:53:33,200 Speaker 1: that's fine. I don't care. I think it causes a 774 00:53:33,239 --> 00:53:39,480 Speaker 1: lot of itching and whatnot. But let me tell you something, Steven, 775 00:53:39,600 --> 00:53:42,480 Speaker 1: even though I have an itchy asshole, you know, even 776 00:53:42,480 --> 00:53:46,160 Speaker 1: though I have a hairy asshole, I don't define myself 777 00:53:47,239 --> 00:53:50,640 Speaker 1: by my hairy asshole because I believe I am much 778 00:53:50,719 --> 00:53:53,399 Speaker 1: more than that, and I believe you are more than 779 00:53:53,440 --> 00:53:58,960 Speaker 1: your bald head as well. Stephen, is there anything else 780 00:53:59,000 --> 00:54:00,000 Speaker 1: you want to say to the people of the compute 781 00:54:00,040 --> 00:54:00,640 Speaker 1: it before we go. 782 00:54:03,719 --> 00:54:05,719 Speaker 3: I'm I'm a big fan of been watching for a 783 00:54:05,719 --> 00:54:07,480 Speaker 3: while now, and I'm just happy I got on. 784 00:54:07,560 --> 00:54:10,080 Speaker 1: So thank you, Thank you brother, Thank you for sharing, man, 785 00:54:10,120 --> 00:54:13,239 Speaker 1: and good luck to you as you build your life portfolio. 786 00:54:15,200 --> 00:54:16,000 Speaker 3: Thanks man, you too. 787 00:54:16,719 --> 00:54:24,800 Speaker 1: Take care, Steven, take care. I mean, it's really bad 788 00:54:25,920 --> 00:54:31,840 Speaker 1: down there, and I've tried shaving my I've tried shaving 789 00:54:31,880 --> 00:54:35,560 Speaker 1: it too, but I don't do that anymore because the 790 00:54:35,600 --> 00:54:40,800 Speaker 1: last time I did that, like the shaved hairs would 791 00:54:40,880 --> 00:54:44,080 Speaker 1: like because we never hear ass, so at least all 792 00:54:44,120 --> 00:54:47,320 Speaker 1: the hairs are connected. To the body so they don't 793 00:54:47,760 --> 00:54:52,560 Speaker 1: depart from the skin and enter into the anus. But 794 00:54:52,600 --> 00:54:55,439 Speaker 1: when you shave it, you you won't. You don't get 795 00:54:55,440 --> 00:54:57,479 Speaker 1: all the hair out unless if you do a really 796 00:54:57,520 --> 00:55:00,520 Speaker 1: thorough cleaning, and then the hair is start to go 797 00:55:00,640 --> 00:55:03,920 Speaker 1: inside of the anus, and then it just becomes a 798 00:55:03,920 --> 00:55:08,759 Speaker 1: friggin mess of itchiness. And that I probably shared a 799 00:55:08,800 --> 00:55:14,719 Speaker 1: little bit too much there, but that's okay. I am 800 00:55:14,840 --> 00:55:20,960 Speaker 1: comfortable with who I am and with my asshole. To 801 00:55:21,000 --> 00:55:25,280 Speaker 1: add a little more to that too, I have had 802 00:55:26,000 --> 00:55:32,480 Speaker 1: several times in my life where the thing that I 803 00:55:32,560 --> 00:55:37,160 Speaker 1: was defining myself by went away and then I was 804 00:55:37,280 --> 00:55:42,080 Speaker 1: left with nothing, and I learned not to do that 805 00:55:42,160 --> 00:55:44,839 Speaker 1: anymore like I used to. I used to. I did 806 00:55:44,880 --> 00:55:48,360 Speaker 1: stand up comedy before I was doing this podcast, and 807 00:55:48,440 --> 00:55:52,279 Speaker 1: I did that for like six years before realizing I 808 00:55:52,320 --> 00:55:55,319 Speaker 1: hated it. But when I realized I hated it, I 809 00:55:55,360 --> 00:55:58,160 Speaker 1: was fucked because all of my friends were from stand 810 00:55:58,320 --> 00:56:01,480 Speaker 1: up and all of my identity was about trying to 811 00:56:01,520 --> 00:56:06,440 Speaker 1: be a stand up comic and doing all that stuff, 812 00:56:06,760 --> 00:56:08,799 Speaker 1: and it really kind of screwed me for a little bit. 813 00:56:08,920 --> 00:56:10,600 Speaker 1: Is I was like, well, what do I do now 814 00:56:11,200 --> 00:56:13,839 Speaker 1: that you know I don't have this in my life. 815 00:56:15,080 --> 00:56:20,800 Speaker 1: And then I got this job sort of right after 816 00:56:20,960 --> 00:56:26,759 Speaker 1: I graduated college, and I didn't know if I was 817 00:56:26,840 --> 00:56:29,200 Speaker 1: going to be able to stay in that job, but 818 00:56:29,239 --> 00:56:30,880 Speaker 1: I really liked that job, and I was kind of 819 00:56:31,040 --> 00:56:34,359 Speaker 1: defining myself by that job. And then the job ended, 820 00:56:34,360 --> 00:56:35,879 Speaker 1: and I was like, well, fuck, what this thing ends? 821 00:56:35,880 --> 00:56:37,640 Speaker 1: What am I gonna do? Because this thing was a 822 00:56:37,640 --> 00:56:41,120 Speaker 1: big force in my life and now I have this thing, 823 00:56:42,000 --> 00:56:48,120 Speaker 1: and I've kind of experienced enough of defining myself by 824 00:56:48,160 --> 00:56:51,000 Speaker 1: a thing and getting super absorbed and obsessed with it, 825 00:56:51,360 --> 00:56:56,880 Speaker 1: and then it leaving and then me getting fucked that 826 00:56:57,000 --> 00:57:00,600 Speaker 1: I've decided, well, okay, I really do enjoy and to 827 00:57:00,680 --> 00:57:04,960 Speaker 1: get a lot of identity and pleasure and fulfillment and 828 00:57:04,960 --> 00:57:07,440 Speaker 1: purpose out of being a gecko on the computer. But 829 00:57:08,280 --> 00:57:11,040 Speaker 1: I can't. I can't let it run my life. I 830 00:57:11,120 --> 00:57:15,040 Speaker 1: can't wake up in the morning and if people are 831 00:57:17,640 --> 00:57:21,920 Speaker 1: listening to my podcast or you know, if my TikTok 832 00:57:22,040 --> 00:57:25,600 Speaker 1: videos are doing well or whatever, I can't let that 833 00:57:25,720 --> 00:57:29,400 Speaker 1: make me feel too good. And if they're not, I 834 00:57:29,440 --> 00:57:32,880 Speaker 1: can't let that make me feel too bad because I 835 00:57:33,000 --> 00:57:37,560 Speaker 1: want to be in control of how I feel, and 836 00:57:37,600 --> 00:57:42,560 Speaker 1: I don't want any external factors to fuck around with me, 837 00:57:43,280 --> 00:57:45,480 Speaker 1: which is easier said than done. I'm still on that 838 00:57:45,560 --> 00:57:50,240 Speaker 1: journey for sure. Okay, I'm not saying all this stuff 839 00:57:50,520 --> 00:57:53,880 Speaker 1: from atop the mountain of completion. I'm in the trenches. 840 00:57:54,520 --> 00:57:56,680 Speaker 1: But that's just how I think about these things. 841 00:57:58,000 --> 00:58:00,960 Speaker 5: I think it goes on the line. Taking your phone 842 00:58:00,960 --> 00:58:04,280 Speaker 5: calls every night, never be kept, cost his hide. You 843 00:58:04,440 --> 00:58:07,400 Speaker 5: just teaching you chouses of your life. But he's not 844 00:58:07,640 --> 00:58:09,000 Speaker 5: really an expert.