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Speaker 1: Welcome to the Therapy for Black Girls podcast, where we

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Speaker 1: discussed all things mental health, personal development, and all the

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Speaker 1: small decisions we can make to become the best possible

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Speaker 1: versions of ourselves. I'm your host, Dr Joy Harden Bradford,

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Speaker 1: a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia. To get more information

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Speaker 1: and resources, visit the website at Therapy for Black Girls

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Speaker 1: dot com. And while I hope you love listening to

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Speaker 1: and learning from the podcast, it is not meant to

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Speaker 1: be a substitute for a relationship with a licensed mental

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Speaker 1: health professional. Hey, y'all, thanks so much for joining me

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Speaker 1: for session eleven of the Therapy for Black Girls podcast.

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Speaker 1: This week we have an on the each episode especially

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Speaker 1: for all you Scandal fans. This week I am joined

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Speaker 1: by special guest therapist Leslie Garcia to talk all about

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Speaker 1: Olivia Pope. So, next to Mary Jane Paul from bt

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Speaker 1: S being Mary Jane, Olivia Pope is the character that

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Speaker 1: I have been most excited to talk with the therapist

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Speaker 1: about in terms of what therapy would look like with her. Um. So,

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Speaker 1: if you are a Scandal fan and have been keeping

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Speaker 1: up with the seasons, you know that Olivia presents with

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Speaker 1: a variety of issues that are right for um getting

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Speaker 1: some therapy around. So I'm very excited to share this

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Speaker 1: episode with you today. Even Carrie Washington, in a recent

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Speaker 1: interview with Entertainment Weekly, said I really wish that Olivia

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Speaker 1: Pope could find a good therapist, and so that's exactly

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Speaker 1: what we have today. So I'm joined today by Leslie Garcia.

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Speaker 1: She is a licensed clinical social worker who is the

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Speaker 1: first generation American born in New York City to immigrant

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Speaker 1: parents from the Dominican Republic. With the passion for the

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Speaker 1: mental health and wellness for women entrepreneurs, Leslie created counseling

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Speaker 1: space to help women who are struggling behind the scenes

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Speaker 1: with the mental challenges that are often associated with business

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Speaker 1: ownership and professional leadership. With over fifteen years of experience

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Speaker 1: in the mental health field, Leslie is dedicated to changing

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Speaker 1: the conversations we have about mental health and educating others

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Speaker 1: on the importance of preventative mental health and mental wellness plans.

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Speaker 1: Leslie has worked in settings that allowed her to serve

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Speaker 1: as an advocate for immigrants, disabled individuals, and for the

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Speaker 1: World Trade Center Non eleven responders. So I hope you'll

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Speaker 1: enjoy this conversation and please share your feedback with us.

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Speaker 1: Thank you so much for joining me today, Leslie, tell

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Speaker 1: me who you chose for us to talk about today today.

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Speaker 1: I chose to talk about Olivia Pope, who is the

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Speaker 1: leading actress from the show Scandal. Oh, this should be good. Yes, yes,

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Speaker 1: So for people who may not be familiar with Olivia

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Speaker 1: Pope or Scandal, can you give us a little bit

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Speaker 1: of background on her? Sure? Sure, So Olivia Pope, it's

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Speaker 1: a she's the leading actress of the series Scandal, and

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Speaker 1: they call her Lift. She's often referred to as Live

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Speaker 1: and live as an intelligence. She she's beautiful, independent woman.

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Speaker 1: She's a lawyer who owns a consulting firm. It's like

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Speaker 1: a PR problem solving I would say, crisis management consulting firm.

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Speaker 1: And she works with high profile clients. Her job is

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Speaker 1: very demanding. She's the CEO. She's the owner of this

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Speaker 1: consulting firm. And it's like I said, it's very demanding,

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Speaker 1: very stressful, working with high profile clients. And and she

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Speaker 1: has a very interesting background. I mean, she was raised

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Speaker 1: primarily by her dad because at a young age she

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Speaker 1: lost her mom due to a tragic event and she

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Speaker 1: had to be raised by her dad. She's an only child,

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Speaker 1: and her dad is a very strict, controlling, intimidating man

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Speaker 1: who has no sympathy for mistakes. He's he has no uh,

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Speaker 1: he wants no excuses for mistakes, and when he refers

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Speaker 1: to her as his child, his daughter, he would say,

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Speaker 1: I raised you to be a warrior. So I also

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Speaker 1: feel that because of her upbringing, it's very difficult for

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Speaker 1: her to accept some of the mistakes that she's made.

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Speaker 1: And basically when you see the character Live, she her

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Speaker 1: her lifestyle is pretty much dictated by her work. She's

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Speaker 1: constantly working and she doesn't believe set time for herself

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Speaker 1: to do self care. You you hardly see her socializing,

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Speaker 1: going out with friends. It's mostly work most of the time.

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Speaker 1: So that's been basically who she is. She's a very busy,

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Speaker 1: independent entrepreneur woman. There definitely is a lot going on

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Speaker 1: with Live, Um, so can you tell us about maybe

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Speaker 1: some of the struggles that might lead her to therapy

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Speaker 1: some of the things she has going on? Yes, so

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Speaker 1: her traumatic events, I mean she has several of them.

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Speaker 1: The first one as far as her childhood, losing her

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Speaker 1: mom at a young age. I would also say even

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Speaker 1: with her work, she was, but she was kidnapped when

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Speaker 1: when she had to do some type of transaction. This

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Speaker 1: was a while ago where she was kidnapped at work.

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Speaker 1: And also with her job, she's exposed to traumatic events

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Speaker 1: and there were times where things didn't go as planned

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Speaker 1: when it came to certain clients that she helped with,

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Speaker 1: and it just it caused lives. So that was also

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Speaker 1: very traumatic. And live has a relationship ongoing relationship with

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Speaker 1: a married man who was the leading actor of the show.

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Speaker 1: His name is fitz He's the President of the United States,

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Speaker 1: and that has also been traumatic for a few reasons.

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Speaker 1: It's an unhealthy relationship. Um. I do believe that she

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Speaker 1: has experienced some type of emotional and verbal abuse in

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Speaker 1: a relationship as well. So these are these are some

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Speaker 1: of the traumatic events that I feel would lead her

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Speaker 1: to therapy. Okay, So it sounds like you're very much

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Speaker 1: kind of thinking about her from a trauma kind of

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Speaker 1: a standpoint as being like probably the thing that would

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Speaker 1: most likely bring her to therapy. I agree, that's that's right, Okay. Okay,

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Speaker 1: So if you could then maybe tell us a little

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Speaker 1: bit about any kinds of strategies or techniques you might

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Speaker 1: use with her to kind of work through some of

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Speaker 1: the trauma experiences. That's a that's a great question, and

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Speaker 1: I was thinking about that. I would look at her

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Speaker 1: because I always think of when I see her, I

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Speaker 1: see some of her her strength, but I also see

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Speaker 1: her struggles and I do see the trauma. I do

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Speaker 1: see that she she suffers from anxiety. And one of

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Speaker 1: the techniques I feel would be very helpful for her

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Speaker 1: is what we do mostly and it's very common in

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Speaker 1: our fields, is the cognitive behavioral therapy to address someone

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Speaker 1: to address the trauma, to address the the anxiety. Where

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Speaker 1: I do feel that most of her mistakes or the

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Speaker 1: trauma that she's experienced, she translates it as as self blame.

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Speaker 1: She she's not very comfortable with accepting mistakes, she's not

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Speaker 1: comfortable with accepting her vulnerability and asking for help. So

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Speaker 1: trying to shift her mindset and how how does she

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Speaker 1: interpret this trauma where it's not her faults right, where

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Speaker 1: she she's not at full for it, and also how

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Speaker 1: she reacts towards it as well, because she she at

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Speaker 1: times and she's very irritable. You can see she's you know,

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Speaker 1: sometimes anxious, on edge. You see her always sipping a

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Speaker 1: glass of wine, which also for me raises a red flag.

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Speaker 1: She you what we see live drinking wine to relax

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Speaker 1: and and unwine. So those are the techniques that that

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Speaker 1: I would use approaching this issue with with her trauma

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Speaker 1: and also with her anxiety. Yeah, I mean, you know,

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Speaker 1: and you mentioned it, and I don't think I had

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Speaker 1: even thought about like listing out all of the traumas,

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Speaker 1: but once I heard you listed. There have been a

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Speaker 1: lot of significant ones, you know, namely UM, you know,

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Speaker 1: like her getting kidnapped. I mean, I think we spent

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Speaker 1: an entire season with her um in captivity in this bunker,

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Speaker 1: so to speak, wherever she was UM. And then she

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Speaker 1: kind of came out of that kidnapping and then really

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Speaker 1: just never processed it, like really never went back to

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Speaker 1: it and kind of threw herself right back into work. UM.

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Speaker 1: So you know, I mean that's kind of a very

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Speaker 1: significant level of trauma. UM. So what kinds of things

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Speaker 1: would you maybe do UM to help you know, like

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Speaker 1: if you were a consultant on the show after that season, UM,

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Speaker 1: dealing with somebody who has kind of been kidnapped and

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Speaker 1: had a traumatic experience like that, what kinds of things

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Speaker 1: might you do related to that. I mean, I would

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Speaker 1: just allow her to talk about it, give her the

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Speaker 1: space to talk about it, because as we're talking about

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Speaker 1: it now and looking back at some of the episodes,

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Speaker 1: no one really talked to her about it, right, Her

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Speaker 1: father didn't even give her the space to to talk

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Speaker 1: about it, because it's part of the job, I guess.

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Speaker 1: So just really looking at the trauma, acknowledging it and

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Speaker 1: just allowing her to talk about it, what her feelings are,

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Speaker 1: how it affected her, what were her thoughts, because she's

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Speaker 1: never had that opportunity to do so. It was just

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Speaker 1: business as usual, right, Is that what you're referring to

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Speaker 1: as well? It's just business as usual? Yeah, I mean

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Speaker 1: I think she moved into her dad's house for a

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Speaker 1: little while after it happened, um, But you didn't really ever,

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Speaker 1: like you mentioned, hear them talking about it, um. And

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Speaker 1: after some time she kind of just went back to work.

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Speaker 1: She did, she did, and you know, I also noticed

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Speaker 1: that she reacted. She was also very hyper vigilant, right,

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Speaker 1: and obviously very anxious. And you noticed that her doors

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Speaker 1: have more locks to it. In the later seasons, there

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Speaker 1: are more locks to the door, so you could that

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Speaker 1: it definitely affected her. You can see that it definitely

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Speaker 1: affected her. Yeah, so you brought up the issue related

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Speaker 1: to her wine drinking, right, and so it's always this

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Speaker 1: interesting contrast because she has this beautiful, pristine white couch

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Speaker 1: um with this glass of real wine and then one

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Speaker 1: of the episodes you did see her spill it. I

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Speaker 1: forget it was once something was happening. I think somebody

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Speaker 1: was breaking into her apartment or something, and you see

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Speaker 1: that she spilled. I think that's what happened right before

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Speaker 1: she got kidnapped, is that she actually spilled the glass

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Speaker 1: of wine on the couch um. So related to um,

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Speaker 1: the wine drinking. What would you say, um, if if

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Speaker 1: she were to come to you around maybe paying attention

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Speaker 1: to the alcohol and maybe other things that she was

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Speaker 1: doing to cope as opposed to working out some of

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Speaker 1: these issues in therapy, educating her first of all, um,

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Speaker 1: just highlighting how she copes with stress. I would do

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Speaker 1: an assessment how does she copes with with stress and

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Speaker 1: even realize when she knows that she is under stress,

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Speaker 1: and doing an assessment just to make sure if it's

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Speaker 1: a dependence where she's dependent and maybe have an alcohol disorder,

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Speaker 1: So I would educated educate her on it, do an assessment,

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Speaker 1: and make her realize that possibly, you know, probably, I'm

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Speaker 1: not really sure because it does raise a red flag,

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Speaker 1: but possibly it could be an unhealthy coping mechanism for her,

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Speaker 1: since we we tend to see that often with her,

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Speaker 1: and even when guests come to her house there are

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Speaker 1: times and they'll bring her a glass a bottle of wine. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but I don't really see her drinking at work. That's

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Speaker 1: one thing I've noticed when I've seen an episode. She's

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Speaker 1: not you don't really see her drinking at work. It's

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Speaker 1: really when she she's home and she you know, she

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Speaker 1: she's done for the day, and that's that's her way

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Speaker 1: to relax. M hm. Now, they definitely have been sometimes.

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Speaker 1: I do believe she has an emergency station in the office,

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Speaker 1: especially you know, we won't give any spoilers a ray

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Speaker 1: for the most recent episode, but um, you know, there

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Speaker 1: definitely has been some stressful things going on in the

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Speaker 1: office recently, and she definitely kind of closed the door

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Speaker 1: and had a glass, um you know, so so, yeah,

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Speaker 1: she definitely does drink in the office sometimes, which I

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Speaker 1: think again is a is a real flag right. You know,

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Speaker 1: if I cannot even isolate your drinking just to home,

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Speaker 1: but even in the office, you're feeling the needs to

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Speaker 1: have a drink to kind of manage whatever emotions you're feelings. Definitely,

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Speaker 1: you know, maybe a cause for concern. Okay, So just

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Speaker 1: having it in the office, okay, because I noticed I

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Speaker 1: noticed that mostly at home. So you're right, You're absolutely right,

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Speaker 1: just in the office and having that stash and having

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Speaker 1: a way for it to to be present, right, having

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Speaker 1: that alcohol of the wine to be present, just for

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Speaker 1: these moments to come, and she can feel more relaxed

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Speaker 1: because she normally when she's under a lot of stress,

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Speaker 1: or she is feeling anxious, she's constantly pasting, or she

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Speaker 1: isolates herself. Yes, m mmmmm yeah. So, um, how often

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Speaker 1: would you say that you see someone like live in

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Speaker 1: your practice? So probably not somebody who's been kidnapped by

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Speaker 1: like an international terror group, um, but you know, definitely

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Speaker 1: there are different um traumas that show up in women's lives. UM.

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Speaker 1: So I wonder if you could speak to how often

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Speaker 1: you see people maybe like live or with trauma issues

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Speaker 1: in your practice? So typically I would see them once

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Speaker 1: a week. There are times especially if it's very stressful

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Speaker 1: and it's really affecting their quality of life. I would

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Speaker 1: be open to doing twice a week, maybe for the

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Speaker 1: first month or so, but typically once a week I

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Speaker 1: would see clients to address these issues. Okay, and I

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Speaker 1: know a lot of times with trauma work, like one

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Speaker 1: of the first things is working on some kinds of

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Speaker 1: grounding exercises. Can you talk a little bit about what

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Speaker 1: those are and um, you know, kind of maybe explain

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Speaker 1: that for people who maybe are not in the field.

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Speaker 1: So pretty much working with trauma, you just want to

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Speaker 1: make sure that the person is it's pretty much stable, right.

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Speaker 1: You want to stay balize them because you know that

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Speaker 1: you're going to get into these events and it's going

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Speaker 1: to trigger or retrigger some of their their symptoms. So

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Speaker 1: you just want to make sure as a mental health

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Speaker 1: professional that they have the resources that you're educating them

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Speaker 1: about some of the coping skills and and stable them.

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Speaker 1: You know, just making sure and guiding them that they

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Speaker 1: are stable and capable to revisit the trauma experiences that

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Speaker 1: will be processed during the therapy sessions. Yeah, okay, so

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Speaker 1: really kind of teaching them how to um stay grounded.

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Speaker 1: Which is what it's called, even in the midst of

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Speaker 1: maybe visiting or revisiting some very difficult situations. Okay, okay,

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Speaker 1: So you also brought up the um the situation and

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Speaker 1: the relationship that she has with fits Um, and you

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Speaker 1: describe that as an unhealthy relationship. So what kinds of

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Speaker 1: things do you think she might talk about in therapy

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Speaker 1: related to the relationship with fits I believe some of

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Speaker 1: the topics that would be raised is not even knowing

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Speaker 1: what a healthy relationship is and exploring some of her

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Speaker 1: past relationships because to me, when I look at Fifth,

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Speaker 1: he reminds me there are some of his characteristics that

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Speaker 1: resembles her father's characteristics where he can also be very controlling.

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Speaker 1: When he wants to see live he will bring out

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Speaker 1: his servicemen and make sure that she is brought to him.

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Speaker 1: And there are times where if he doesn't get her

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Speaker 1: his way with her, when there are times she wants

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Speaker 1: to end the relationship or have distance in the relationship,

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Speaker 1: he makes it very difficult for her to do so

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Speaker 1: as well. So I believe some of the topics that

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Speaker 1: would be brought up is for her not even knowing

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Speaker 1: what it is to be love, what it is to

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Speaker 1: have a healthy relationship. So I do believe those would

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Speaker 1: be the common topics that would be presented when working

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Speaker 1: with a client like Live. Yeah, so you bring up

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Speaker 1: a really good point that I probably have thought about

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Speaker 1: at some point. Um, But you know, you're reminding me

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Speaker 1: the similarities between her and or Fits and her dad,

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Speaker 1: especially in the control And I think you know, there

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Speaker 1: is a school of thought that sometimes we end up

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Speaker 1: in relationships with people who are like our parents are

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Speaker 1: other significant others in our lives, and we are attempting

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Speaker 1: to in some ways kind of work through whatever we

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Speaker 1: didn't work through with that parent in a romantic relationship.

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Speaker 1: Do you think that there may be some of that

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Speaker 1: going on with Live? I do. I certainly do. Because

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Speaker 1: she she doesn't have a long history of dating, right,

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Speaker 1: We don't see or hear much about her social life,

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Speaker 1: her love life at all. Her family only family member

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Speaker 1: is pretty much her her dad. So that to me

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Speaker 1: is the foundation, right, that's the blueprint that she was

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Speaker 1: given and as far as what it is to be

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Speaker 1: love and how love is interpreted, and the only person

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Speaker 1: in her life who's so called supposed to care for

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Speaker 1: her and love her, right, and then you know, he again,

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Speaker 1: like you mentioned, is incredibly controlling and um does not

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Speaker 1: give her very much room for mistakes. Are messing up

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Speaker 1: anything really at all? No, none at all, none at all.

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Speaker 1: So and and not Also, I feel because of that

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Speaker 1: upbringing and because he is very stubborn and does not

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Speaker 1: allow for mistakes, I do feel that makes it very

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Speaker 1: difficult for her to even except some of the mistakes

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Speaker 1: that she's made, or even ask for help, just show

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Speaker 1: her vulnerability because that was never allowed. It should not

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Speaker 1: be present at all. Yeah. So, something that we um,

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Speaker 1: you didn't touch on, but that I think may be

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Speaker 1: important to kind of talk about is the race. The

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Speaker 1: race piece related to Olivia UM and I think a

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Speaker 1: lot of times we see these moments most powerful powerfully

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Speaker 1: delivered with her dad. UM. So he often as these

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Speaker 1: amazing soliloquies he goes on about UM race and I

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Speaker 1: think there was one where he talked about raising her

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Speaker 1: to kind of realize she always had to be twice

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Speaker 1: as good UM and you know, it's to kind of

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Speaker 1: outperform her white counterparts. UM. So, how much race based

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Speaker 1: stress do you think really operates and lives life even

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Speaker 1: though we may not see it on the show. Oh

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Speaker 1: I do. I do feel even though it's not like

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Speaker 1: you said, it's not really over in the show, but

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Speaker 1: I'm sure it plays a big role. Not only I mean,

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Speaker 1: this is a black person, and then a black woman

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Speaker 1: at that, in a very high profile position and has

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Speaker 1: a lot of power and handling very high profile cases

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Speaker 1: where she she's pretty much changing or saving images of

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Speaker 1: these clients. And so I do feel that it plays

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Speaker 1: a very big role in how maybe people may not

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Speaker 1: not take her seriously because of her race, so because

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Speaker 1: she she is a woman, and so as far as

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Speaker 1: her being assertive as well, I do feel that we

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Speaker 1: hear that typically when a woman is assertive, it's not

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Speaker 1: being called assertive, right, it's being called there's another negative

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Speaker 1: description for But as far as her being assertive, she

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Speaker 1: delegates as well. Um, she's a I believe she's a

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Speaker 1: good leader. How she delegates and she believes in her

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Speaker 1: team members. She protects her team members as well. So

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Speaker 1: I do believe it plays a role, even though we

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Speaker 1: don't see it. Um as far as in the show,

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Speaker 1: it's not obvious, but I'm quite sure it does. Her

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Speaker 1: being a black a black woman pretty much right, right,

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Speaker 1: So what are your thoughts about some of her friendships. UM. So,

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Speaker 1: you know, it also is interesting I think that you

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Speaker 1: don't really see her having any friends outside of the

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Speaker 1: people who also work with her and really work for her. Um,

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Speaker 1: so you know, she's kind of the boss. And so

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Speaker 1: what what would you say about the friendships that she

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Speaker 1: has or the support and she doesn't have any. I mean,

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Speaker 1: she has a close friendship. We had a close friendship

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Speaker 1: with with Cyrus, right, Cyrus is like the the right

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Speaker 1: hand person of the president and previous in previous episodes,

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Speaker 1: But some of the friends, you know, the other characters

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Speaker 1: that she had, it was all pretty much a relationship

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Speaker 1: of work relationship, but someone outside of work. I've never

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Speaker 1: I've never seen that. Maybe I missed that, but I've

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Speaker 1: never seen that. So it's very limited. It's all all

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Speaker 1: of her relationships except for her dad, and even with

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Speaker 1: her dad, you know, it's very work related. So that

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Speaker 1: would be that would be an area to explore with

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Speaker 1: her and also encourage her as far as having some

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Speaker 1: type of social support which is just not only involved

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Speaker 1: and related to her job, right, I mean, and it

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Speaker 1: does seem like she has a very close relationship with

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Speaker 1: huck Um. You know, but but I often wonder, um,

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Speaker 1: you know, because in Huck has experienced so much trauma,

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Speaker 1: like how solid the friendship is. I mean, it feels

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Speaker 1: very authentic that they genuinely care about one another. But

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Speaker 1: I think because they are both dealing with so many

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Speaker 1: kind of traumatic experiences that neither of them has really processed.

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Speaker 1: I wonder, like how much they really can be there

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Speaker 1: for one another. Absolutely, absolutely, And and it's still work

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Speaker 1: related as well. And the way Huck protects her, he

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Speaker 1: protects her. And that's one thing about Live that I

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Speaker 1: found interesting as well, that she has the heart because

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Speaker 1: if you look at the staff members that she she hired,

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Speaker 1: they have questionable backgrounds, right whether criminal they have a

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Speaker 1: criminal background. Um, and somehow I believe there was one

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Speaker 1: who had to change their name, and she came out

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Speaker 1: and saved them and believed in them in the strengths

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Speaker 1: that they can offer to to her consulting firm. She's

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Speaker 1: she's uh, I believe a strong leader because she allows

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Speaker 1: them to be autonomous in their roles that they have

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Speaker 1: in her firm. They all have the form strengths and

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Speaker 1: even when you see them in the conference room, how

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Speaker 1: she would just allow them to just speak on certain

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Speaker 1: cases and express their knowledge and express their thoughts. UM.

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Speaker 1: So I see her as a very good leader when

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Speaker 1: it comes to being the CEO of her firm. Right right,

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Speaker 1: So what do you think um lives life might look

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Speaker 1: like after she participated in some therapy and maybe has

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Speaker 1: been able to work through some of the trauma she experienced.

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Speaker 1: I see her setting some boundaries in her schedule because

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Speaker 1: she does not sleep, this lady. Her phone is always ringing,

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Speaker 1: she's always working. There's she's always on call. I see

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Speaker 1: herself as putting some boundaries and making sure she takes

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Speaker 1: some time off for herself. We don't even see this lady,

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Speaker 1: you know, getting her nails done, getting a massage, putting

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Speaker 1: some boundaries in understanding the value of self care. That

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Speaker 1: would be important for sure. Okay. And what do you

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Speaker 1: think about in terms of her relationship. I mean, we've

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Speaker 1: talked about the relationship with Fits, but there have been

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Speaker 1: other romantic interests, you know, namely Jake. So that was

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Speaker 1: the other UM significant romantic relationship she's had. UM. But

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Speaker 1: what do you think her relationships UM romantically might look

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Speaker 1: like after participating in therapy. I do feel that she

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Speaker 1: would be open to it because having a relationship with

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Speaker 1: with fits fits her character, because this is a manner

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Speaker 1: she could not go public. Right when you when you

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Speaker 1: are in an open relationship and there's trust, there's communication,

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Speaker 1: you're open to it. Right, you're saying to society that

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Speaker 1: you're in love. And when you are in love, and

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Speaker 1: when you love, you are vulnerable, right, you are compassion

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Speaker 1: And so these are some of the characteristics we don't

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Speaker 1: really see in her right, and if we do see it,

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Speaker 1: it's not really being highlighted. So it fits her character

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Speaker 1: to have this relationship with fits because it's it's hidden.

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Speaker 1: She doesn't have to be been to it. So to

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Speaker 1: make sure that it's okay to feel this way and

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Speaker 1: it's okay to show these feelings, it's okay to be

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Speaker 1: public about your relationship, I do. I would see that

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Speaker 1: being an outcome when it comes to dealing with a

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Speaker 1: relationship after after therapy. Mm hmmm. So something you mentioned

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Speaker 1: a couple of times Leslie is her difficulty kind of

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Speaker 1: being open and being vulnerable, And I would imagine that

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Speaker 1: a lot of our listeners also struggle with that. But

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Speaker 1: to also think about it in terms of like not

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Speaker 1: wanting to be open and vulnerable because what does that

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Speaker 1: mean in terms of my ability to have the kind

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Speaker 1: of career that I want? Because I think that in

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Speaker 1: some ways, which again we see a lot, is that

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Speaker 1: some of these things that probably we would want to

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Speaker 1: work on in therapy there does tend to be like

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Speaker 1: a positive benefit to it. Right. So the fact that

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Speaker 1: she is so kind of controlled um and sometimes void

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Speaker 1: of emotion, I think leads to her being able to

432
00:24:59,720 --> 00:25:03,040
Speaker 1: be a a leader in good in her position. Right. Yeah,

433
00:25:03,119 --> 00:25:05,760
Speaker 1: So I would wonder, you know, if that would even

434
00:25:05,800 --> 00:25:08,119
Speaker 1: be a concern for her or other women kind of

435
00:25:08,160 --> 00:25:10,639
Speaker 1: going to therapy thinking oh well, if I go to

436
00:25:10,720 --> 00:25:13,040
Speaker 1: therapy and work on this thing, then I won't be

437
00:25:13,080 --> 00:25:15,800
Speaker 1: able to be as powerful as a leader a businesswoman

438
00:25:15,840 --> 00:25:20,840
Speaker 1: as I am. Right, So with her, there there's things,

439
00:25:20,920 --> 00:25:23,520
Speaker 1: There are a lot of strengths, right she she continues

440
00:25:23,560 --> 00:25:26,879
Speaker 1: to be powerful, She is successful, she is intelligent, But

441
00:25:26,960 --> 00:25:30,479
Speaker 1: it wouldn't be the focus is not so much of

442
00:25:30,520 --> 00:25:33,160
Speaker 1: her business. It's how it's going to affect her her health,

443
00:25:33,520 --> 00:25:37,520
Speaker 1: you know, her well being, her mindset, and because that

444
00:25:38,240 --> 00:25:42,480
Speaker 1: just how you mention it. That is always primary is

445
00:25:42,480 --> 00:25:44,119
Speaker 1: the work. But if I you know, if I do

446
00:25:44,200 --> 00:25:46,280
Speaker 1: this or if I change this, I won't be successful

447
00:25:46,320 --> 00:25:50,520
Speaker 1: at work. So it's always being put on in the

448
00:25:50,640 --> 00:25:54,200
Speaker 1: primary focus, being that primary focus. And that's another example

449
00:25:54,400 --> 00:25:58,520
Speaker 1: of not putting yourself first. And if you don't do that,

450
00:25:58,640 --> 00:26:01,960
Speaker 1: it will affect your business because it will affect you eventually.

451
00:26:02,400 --> 00:26:06,760
Speaker 1: So that's one way to look at it. Got you okay?

452
00:26:07,640 --> 00:26:10,760
Speaker 1: So what do you have any tips for any of

453
00:26:10,760 --> 00:26:14,359
Speaker 1: our listeners who may be struggling with similar challenges to live.

454
00:26:15,680 --> 00:26:19,520
Speaker 1: I would definitely say, don't be scared to ask for

455
00:26:19,560 --> 00:26:24,000
Speaker 1: help right there therapists like yourself, myself and we I

456
00:26:24,080 --> 00:26:26,560
Speaker 1: know I see a lot of women who struggle with

457
00:26:26,640 --> 00:26:30,920
Speaker 1: these issues and don't be afraid to ask ask for help.

458
00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:34,639
Speaker 1: And I know that you have Dr Joey. You have

459
00:26:34,720 --> 00:26:38,920
Speaker 1: a great listing of therapists. I believe it's still it's

460
00:26:38,960 --> 00:26:42,119
Speaker 1: still posted on your site right there for black Girls,

461
00:26:42,160 --> 00:26:46,840
Speaker 1: where there's a list of therapists nationwide. So not being

462
00:26:46,880 --> 00:26:50,320
Speaker 1: afraid to ask for help, um, maybe being open to

463
00:26:51,520 --> 00:26:54,920
Speaker 1: get involved in a positive and a women's support group

464
00:26:54,920 --> 00:26:57,600
Speaker 1: which is not only about work, to talk about people's

465
00:26:57,640 --> 00:27:00,520
Speaker 1: feelings and to see how other women cope with similar

466
00:27:00,520 --> 00:27:04,400
Speaker 1: feelings as well. So that would be another too as

467
00:27:04,440 --> 00:27:09,600
Speaker 1: well and create create like a mental wealth plan. I

468
00:27:09,680 --> 00:27:12,879
Speaker 1: say mental wealth because it's to build a wealthy mindset

469
00:27:13,160 --> 00:27:16,280
Speaker 1: where it's about your well being, it's about your self care.

470
00:27:16,720 --> 00:27:19,639
Speaker 1: And so many women that I see are in leadership

471
00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:22,479
Speaker 1: or want to open their entrepreneur want to be an

472
00:27:22,560 --> 00:27:26,280
Speaker 1: entrepreneur and have their own business, and so a business

473
00:27:26,280 --> 00:27:29,320
Speaker 1: plan is always on their mind and how to look

474
00:27:29,359 --> 00:27:31,880
Speaker 1: at it and modify it. But how can you how

475
00:27:31,920 --> 00:27:35,600
Speaker 1: can that be supplemented by adding a plan to take

476
00:27:35,640 --> 00:27:38,440
Speaker 1: care of yourself as well? So I like to incorporate

477
00:27:38,520 --> 00:27:41,080
Speaker 1: that with some of the clients I see as well.

478
00:27:42,560 --> 00:27:45,960
Speaker 1: I really like that, Leslie, you know, especially for entrepreneurs

479
00:27:46,080 --> 00:27:48,159
Speaker 1: like you mentioned, who are always thinking about like a

480
00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:50,240
Speaker 1: business plan, right, like, this is what I need from

481
00:27:50,240 --> 00:27:52,959
Speaker 1: my business to succeed, But what would that look like

482
00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:54,920
Speaker 1: if we talked about it in terms of mental health

483
00:27:54,960 --> 00:27:57,719
Speaker 1: and mental wealth like you mentioned. I really like that.

484
00:27:57,920 --> 00:28:00,560
Speaker 1: Thank you, thank you if it helps. And they're very

485
00:28:00,560 --> 00:28:03,480
Speaker 1: open to it as well, because it's always business, right,

486
00:28:03,480 --> 00:28:06,640
Speaker 1: it's always business. So if I can be creative when

487
00:28:06,680 --> 00:28:10,080
Speaker 1: it comes to talking about their their wellness in a

488
00:28:10,160 --> 00:28:14,400
Speaker 1: way that it can be interpreted as a business, they

489
00:28:14,440 --> 00:28:18,280
Speaker 1: tend to be more receptive towards it, right, right, you're

490
00:28:18,359 --> 00:28:21,520
Speaker 1: kind of speaking their language, that's right, that's right. Yeah.

491
00:28:22,359 --> 00:28:24,840
Speaker 1: So do you have any resources that you would suggest

492
00:28:24,880 --> 00:28:28,199
Speaker 1: for maybe dealing with trauma or relationship concerns. Um, Like

493
00:28:28,240 --> 00:28:31,760
Speaker 1: we've talked about any books or blogs, websites or things

494
00:28:31,800 --> 00:28:35,359
Speaker 1: that you would recommend to our audience. M hmm. There's

495
00:28:35,440 --> 00:28:38,840
Speaker 1: one book that I like to recommend. It's by Dr

496
00:28:39,160 --> 00:28:43,320
Speaker 1: Burnet Brown and it's the Gift of Perfections, So just

497
00:28:43,400 --> 00:28:47,640
Speaker 1: really embracing who you are and making sure that you

498
00:28:47,720 --> 00:28:50,520
Speaker 1: don't have to be perfect and everything you do just

499
00:28:50,600 --> 00:28:53,840
Speaker 1: be authentic. So that book is very is very helpful

500
00:28:53,880 --> 00:28:57,360
Speaker 1: as well. And there are certain worksheets that I give

501
00:28:57,440 --> 00:28:59,880
Speaker 1: out and people can you know, they can do their

502
00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:04,840
Speaker 1: own graph or doing journaling and just rating their their

503
00:29:04,920 --> 00:29:08,160
Speaker 1: level of stress from from zero to tend how their

504
00:29:08,280 --> 00:29:11,840
Speaker 1: level of stress is and monitored throughout the day. So

505
00:29:12,320 --> 00:29:15,440
Speaker 1: there is the workbook called Mind over Mood. I forget

506
00:29:15,440 --> 00:29:17,880
Speaker 1: who the author is. I can definitely share that with

507
00:29:17,920 --> 00:29:19,880
Speaker 1: you if you wanted to share it on the on

508
00:29:19,960 --> 00:29:24,000
Speaker 1: the notes in the in the future. And also some

509
00:29:24,080 --> 00:29:26,920
Speaker 1: of the apps. There is an app call Calm Meditation

510
00:29:26,960 --> 00:29:29,280
Speaker 1: apps as well on the phone where you could just

511
00:29:29,520 --> 00:29:32,240
Speaker 1: it'll remind you to take time to do some deep breathing,

512
00:29:32,720 --> 00:29:36,400
Speaker 1: to do some meditation as well. And the last thing

513
00:29:36,440 --> 00:29:39,480
Speaker 1: I do, and I do this a lot in my sessions,

514
00:29:39,720 --> 00:29:43,760
Speaker 1: is a deep breathing and use lavender oil while we

515
00:29:43,880 --> 00:29:46,080
Speaker 1: do the deep breathing, will use the labin so it

516
00:29:46,160 --> 00:29:49,640
Speaker 1: helps soothe and just it's a very calming effect. So

517
00:29:49,720 --> 00:29:52,040
Speaker 1: we do that towards the end of the session just

518
00:29:52,160 --> 00:29:55,440
Speaker 1: to you know, just to relax and put them on

519
00:29:55,440 --> 00:30:00,880
Speaker 1: on a stable um level before the session is got

520
00:30:00,960 --> 00:30:03,320
Speaker 1: you that definitely sounds very calming. I feel much calm

521
00:30:03,360 --> 00:30:08,720
Speaker 1: by just here you describe it helps me as well,

522
00:30:08,840 --> 00:30:13,640
Speaker 1: believe it or not, so it does absolutely absolutely. So

523
00:30:13,720 --> 00:30:17,440
Speaker 1: where can our listeners find more information about you UM

524
00:30:17,440 --> 00:30:19,640
Speaker 1: and your work? And can you share with us your

525
00:30:19,680 --> 00:30:23,480
Speaker 1: social media handles? Sure? Sure, so. My social media handle

526
00:30:23,560 --> 00:30:27,720
Speaker 1: is Counseling Space and all social media handle my website

527
00:30:27,800 --> 00:30:33,520
Speaker 1: is www dot counseling PC dot com and my email

528
00:30:33,520 --> 00:30:38,160
Speaker 1: address is info at Counseling PC dot com. So my

529
00:30:38,200 --> 00:30:42,640
Speaker 1: practice is called Counseling Space perfect And again all of

530
00:30:42,640 --> 00:30:44,600
Speaker 1: that will be included in the show notes so you

531
00:30:44,680 --> 00:30:49,680
Speaker 1: will have easy access to everything related to Leslie. Great, great, well,

532
00:30:49,680 --> 00:30:52,040
Speaker 1: thank you so much for chatting with me today, Leslie,

533
00:30:52,080 --> 00:30:54,520
Speaker 1: I really really appreciate it. Thank you, Dr Joy. I

534
00:30:54,560 --> 00:30:56,640
Speaker 1: had a lot of fun. Thank you for having me.

535
00:30:57,320 --> 00:31:01,280
Speaker 1: You're welcome. You're welcome so much so. As you can see,

536
00:31:01,360 --> 00:31:04,000
Speaker 1: Leslie and I had a great time talking about all

537
00:31:04,040 --> 00:31:06,520
Speaker 1: the things that we might talk about with Olivia Pope

538
00:31:06,560 --> 00:31:09,480
Speaker 1: if she was one of our clients. Now, they're definitely

539
00:31:09,480 --> 00:31:11,680
Speaker 1: a variety of other things that we could get into

540
00:31:11,880 --> 00:31:14,400
Speaker 1: since there's so much typically going on with the character

541
00:31:14,400 --> 00:31:17,240
Speaker 1: Olivia Pope. But of course there's not time for all

542
00:31:17,280 --> 00:31:19,880
Speaker 1: of that on one episode, so you have to stay tuned.

543
00:31:19,880 --> 00:31:21,960
Speaker 1: Maybe we'll have a part two of this session with

544
00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:25,600
Speaker 1: Olivia Pope. So please share with us your feedback about

545
00:31:25,600 --> 00:31:28,080
Speaker 1: the episode. Let us know what you thought. Make sure

546
00:31:28,080 --> 00:31:31,400
Speaker 1: to use the hashtag tv G in session. You can

547
00:31:31,440 --> 00:31:35,080
Speaker 1: find us on Facebook and Instagram at Therapy for Black Girls,

548
00:31:35,200 --> 00:31:38,120
Speaker 1: and you can find us on Twitter at Therapy for

549
00:31:38,360 --> 00:31:42,080
Speaker 1: the Number four be Girls. If you have any questions

550
00:31:42,120 --> 00:31:44,760
Speaker 1: that you like feedback about, make sure to send those

551
00:31:44,800 --> 00:31:48,960
Speaker 1: over to podcasts at Therapy for Black Girls dot com

552
00:31:49,000 --> 00:31:51,360
Speaker 1: and if you're in the Atlanta area and looking for

553
00:31:51,480 --> 00:31:54,760
Speaker 1: a group therapy to participate in, make sure to check

554
00:31:54,800 --> 00:31:57,840
Speaker 1: out the website at Therapy for Black Girls dot com,

555
00:31:57,960 --> 00:32:02,800
Speaker 1: backslash shift at h I F T. I'm looking forward

556
00:32:02,840 --> 00:32:06,200
Speaker 1: to continuing this conversation with you all real suite. Take

557
00:32:06,240 --> 00:32:06,680
Speaker 1: good care,