WEBVTT - Preparing for Marriage 0:00:10.280 --> 0:00:15.120 Hello, everyone, my beautiful people, Welcome to yet another episode 0:00:15.120 --> 0:00:19.720 of Cheeky's and Chill. Today is a very special episode 0:00:19.880 --> 0:00:23.119 because a very special person is here. Is my guest, 0:00:23.239 --> 0:00:26.200 my special guest and very special to my heart. And 0:00:26.400 --> 0:00:30.560 if some of you guessed my fiance, well you're absolutely right. 0:00:31.240 --> 0:00:33.519 Hi Vabe, how are you? 0:00:33.880 --> 0:00:34.360 It's good. 0:00:34.840 --> 0:00:35.280 I'm good. 0:00:35.600 --> 0:00:37.519 It's exciting to hear you say my fiance. 0:00:37.800 --> 0:00:40.040 I know, right, Oh my god, I was about to 0:00:40.040 --> 0:00:42.639 say that because the last time you were on the podcast, well, 0:00:42.640 --> 0:00:44.519 we didn't have the set first of all, and then 0:00:44.600 --> 0:00:45.599 it was a year ago. 0:00:45.840 --> 0:00:48.000 And we were just boyfriend and girlfriend. Yeah we were, 0:00:48.120 --> 0:00:50.680 and now we're fiances. Yeah, how do you feel about that? 0:00:51.720 --> 0:00:55.520 I'm excited. It feels great. It's uh, you know, almost 0:00:55.520 --> 0:00:58.080 a year later, and I still get excited when you 0:00:58.120 --> 0:01:02.040 say my fiance, my fiance. I like saying it too. 0:01:02.200 --> 0:01:03.520 What about when I say my husband? 0:01:03.760 --> 0:01:05.640 Oh? I don't know if I can handle that one. 0:01:05.760 --> 0:01:06.959 Oh? Why why? 0:01:08.400 --> 0:01:10.000 I'm excited for that? I'm excited. 0:01:10.080 --> 0:01:14.120 Yeah you're not scared? No, no at all, not even Yeah, 0:01:14.160 --> 0:01:16.760 I'm not there anymore. Nothing feel good? 0:01:17.120 --> 0:01:19.080 Yeah? Yeah, yeah, we can get into that. 0:01:19.400 --> 0:01:21.959 Yeah, all right, let's get into that I love that. 0:01:22.120 --> 0:01:24.320 Hell yeah, we're gonna have a serious conversation. 0:01:24.440 --> 0:01:25.039 Mind you guys. 0:01:25.040 --> 0:01:26.480 He has no idea what I'm going to ask him 0:01:26.480 --> 0:01:27.959 what we're going to talk about. I just wanted him 0:01:27.959 --> 0:01:29.760 to come on the podcast because it's a new set. 0:01:30.120 --> 0:01:32.640 I'm so excited that we're just like celebrating three seasons 0:01:32.640 --> 0:01:35.560 of Cheeky's and chilling thanks to you guys. And well, 0:01:35.600 --> 0:01:37.360 I want to bring people that I had on the 0:01:37.360 --> 0:01:39.560 first two seasons to the set, and of course I 0:01:39.640 --> 0:01:41.800 have to have you on here. So I just have 0:01:41.840 --> 0:01:43.880 notes here just so that I don't forget certain things. 0:01:44.080 --> 0:01:46.640 But I'm just gonna let the conversation flow. There's certain 0:01:46.640 --> 0:01:48.280 things that I just wanted to talk about, like, yes, 0:01:48.320 --> 0:01:52.640 we are engaged, you guys, And do we have a 0:01:53.080 --> 0:01:54.040 date set for the wedding? 0:01:54.520 --> 0:01:55.120 Yes, we do. 0:01:58.240 --> 0:02:01.880 Exclusive with Amelia Sanchez, Yes we do. 0:02:02.440 --> 0:02:06.200 And I want to keep it very private, but we 0:02:06.280 --> 0:02:08.720 do have a date. It's going to be a small, intimate, 0:02:08.760 --> 0:02:10.800 like I said on the podcast, you guys, a small, 0:02:11.160 --> 0:02:15.320 big wedding because we want it very intimate. But it's 0:02:15.320 --> 0:02:17.240 not gonna be like twenty people. That's what I mean 0:02:17.280 --> 0:02:17.680 by small. 0:02:18.800 --> 0:02:23.080 Yeah, right, And also it'll be super tight, but also 0:02:23.280 --> 0:02:26.480 it's a small wedding, but there'll probably be a lot 0:02:26.480 --> 0:02:29.279 of big energy between us, super. 0:02:28.960 --> 0:02:36.040 Tight like my face. Eh, it's my podcast. We cut 0:02:36.040 --> 0:02:38.799 out whatever we want or not, who cares. We're just in. 0:02:39.000 --> 0:02:40.200 You know, you know me, my love, This is why 0:02:40.200 --> 0:02:42.520 you love me? Hi? Are you sure you want this forever? 0:02:43.360 --> 0:02:43.560 Yes? 0:02:43.639 --> 0:02:43.880 I do. 0:02:45.000 --> 0:02:48.360 Okay, Well, let's see, there's a lot to talk about. 0:02:48.440 --> 0:02:49.880 Like I mean, it's been a whole year since you've 0:02:49.880 --> 0:02:51.640 been on the podcast, so now, yes, we're engaged, we 0:02:51.680 --> 0:02:56.720 have a date. We did the IVF thing. I feel 0:02:56.760 --> 0:02:59.760 great after I did that. Honestly, I feel like I 0:02:59.800 --> 0:03:02.520 can just enjoy our relationship without pressure. 0:03:03.040 --> 0:03:05.320 How do you feel, Yeah, we've talked about it, but 0:03:05.560 --> 0:03:05.840 you know. 0:03:06.080 --> 0:03:09.160 Yeah, I know something on that. Before we did it, 0:03:09.840 --> 0:03:13.320 people always said, even like more natural way, people always said, 0:03:13.840 --> 0:03:17.000 if you're trying, it's not gonna happen, and if you 0:03:17.080 --> 0:03:19.280 just forget about it and let go, it'll happen naturally. 0:03:19.360 --> 0:03:19.760 Mm hmm. 0:03:20.280 --> 0:03:23.000 When you don't have a backup like IVF, I feel 0:03:23.000 --> 0:03:25.280 like you can't just let go of it and not 0:03:25.320 --> 0:03:27.600 think about it for sure. And I think this what 0:03:27.639 --> 0:03:29.840 this has done for me it truly has let me 0:03:29.960 --> 0:03:32.080 let go of it of like not worrying about it. 0:03:32.639 --> 0:03:35.400 So now I feel like I don't think about it now. 0:03:36.000 --> 0:03:38.520 Yeah I think about us having kids and stuff, but 0:03:38.760 --> 0:03:41.360 I don't think of the pressure of like, oh my god, 0:03:41.440 --> 0:03:42.400 is it going to happen or not? 0:03:42.680 --> 0:03:43.080 Yeah? 0:03:43.360 --> 0:03:47.840 Yeah, for sure, And it really has helped us out. 0:03:48.280 --> 0:03:51.040 Like in our relationship, I feel like it's not I mean, 0:03:51.080 --> 0:03:53.880 I think I was a little bit more argumentative in 0:03:53.920 --> 0:03:55.520 regards to it, where it's like, Okay, well what if 0:03:55.560 --> 0:03:57.000 I can't and this and that, and like what are 0:03:57.000 --> 0:03:58.120 you gonna do? Or are you gonna leave me here? 0:03:58.120 --> 0:04:00.240 And like, you know, I would just start bail for 0:04:00.280 --> 0:04:02.920 no reason and he'd be like, dude, get over it. 0:04:02.960 --> 0:04:04.640 But then now I feel like, Okay, I don't have 0:04:04.680 --> 0:04:05.880 to worry about that because I want. 0:04:05.720 --> 0:04:06.360 To work this day. 0:04:06.520 --> 0:04:08.600 I sat down with him because couple's therapy has helped 0:04:08.680 --> 0:04:11.120 us a lot, guys, Yeah, and I sat down and 0:04:11.160 --> 0:04:14.040 I said, look, babe, this is what I'm thinking this year. 0:04:14.160 --> 0:04:16.520 I really want I have Diamond, you know, my whole 0:04:16.560 --> 0:04:18.680 idea with you know, Diamond tour, with the album. I 0:04:18.680 --> 0:04:20.400 was like, I want to give it all that I 0:04:20.440 --> 0:04:24.560 got obviously we're both turning a year older, and as 0:04:24.600 --> 0:04:28.760 a woman, you know, my eggs are deteriorating, you know, 0:04:28.880 --> 0:04:31.440 their their quality, the quality the eggs aren't as good 0:04:31.600 --> 0:04:34.000 as they were a year ago, two years ago. So 0:04:34.040 --> 0:04:35.320 I was like, I just want to do it. I 0:04:35.360 --> 0:04:36.479 know I had said I didn't want to do it. 0:04:36.520 --> 0:04:38.240 We're going to try naturally. Whatever, and we're still going 0:04:38.320 --> 0:04:38.880 to try naturally. 0:04:38.880 --> 0:04:42.240 That's the plan, right, Yeah, we're at a place in 0:04:42.240 --> 0:04:44.080 our life where I don't think we should stop it 0:04:44.120 --> 0:04:44.760 from happening. 0:04:44.880 --> 0:04:47.720 Yeah, but but way we have a plan though. 0:04:48.040 --> 0:04:49.720 I like our I love our plan. 0:04:49.839 --> 0:04:50.640 Yeah, I love our plan. 0:04:50.800 --> 0:04:53.200 I love our plan. I love the outcome of our plan. 0:04:53.480 --> 0:04:55.599 Yes, but if it happens, you mean. 0:04:56.320 --> 0:05:01.120 I wouldn't I'd be extremely excited. Yeah, but knowing our 0:05:01.160 --> 0:05:03.640 plan is super exciting to sea. 0:05:03.800 --> 0:05:04.839 Yes, me too. 0:05:05.000 --> 0:05:06.240 That's why I'm like, I want us to be on 0:05:06.279 --> 0:05:07.919 the same page where it's like okay, because I follow 0:05:08.000 --> 0:05:09.600 like my little calendar thing. If you guys don't have 0:05:09.640 --> 0:05:12.839 a period tracker, ladies, it's awesome, but like you like 0:05:12.920 --> 0:05:14.719 put it in there, like okay, I started my period today, 0:05:14.720 --> 0:05:16.719 I finished my period, and it like helps you like 0:05:17.560 --> 0:05:19.440 on the calendar with like your frtility day. 0:05:19.480 --> 0:05:20.800 So it's like it's not that. 0:05:20.760 --> 0:05:23.160 We're not going to do it those days, but we 0:05:23.240 --> 0:05:25.279 got to be just extra careful because we're on we 0:05:25.360 --> 0:05:27.640 have a plan. I just want to make sure because 0:05:27.640 --> 0:05:29.880 I'm something. I mean, I don't feel like I'm pressuring you. 0:05:29.920 --> 0:05:31.480 Like I just said, hey, this is what I would like, 0:05:31.920 --> 0:05:34.080 and you like agreed, You're like hell, yeah, Like, let's 0:05:34.520 --> 0:05:36.719 do this and then next year we'll talk about, Okay, 0:05:36.800 --> 0:05:37.640 let's start banging it. 0:05:37.600 --> 0:05:41.080 Out and seeing what happens. Yeah, and have fun what 0:05:41.080 --> 0:05:41.599 we're doing it. 0:05:41.680 --> 0:05:44.440 Yeah. Absolutely, I think we're having because we're. 0:05:44.320 --> 0:05:47.400 Still banging it out, but now like now intentionally. 0:05:48.240 --> 0:05:50.880 I think we're having the most fun, right, Yeah, because 0:05:50.920 --> 0:05:54.360 of the pressure is off. Yeah, Like we haven't sure. 0:05:54.440 --> 0:05:57.400 We haven't even talked about since we've done this, we 0:05:57.440 --> 0:05:59.400 haven't talked about do you think we can have kids 0:05:59.480 --> 0:06:01.360 or not? Like we haven't even had that conversation because 0:06:01.360 --> 0:06:03.120 we don't think about it anymore. We're not worrying about it. 0:06:03.240 --> 0:06:03.440 Yeah. 0:06:03.560 --> 0:06:05.080 Honestly, I think it's one of the best things I 0:06:05.080 --> 0:06:08.160 could have done. It was very emotionally like it was 0:06:08.200 --> 0:06:10.240 a lot, you know, I think, but you were with 0:06:10.279 --> 0:06:12.200 me the entire way, and I'm so grateful for you 0:06:12.240 --> 0:06:14.400 because I told him already that like you would mix 0:06:14.400 --> 0:06:16.000 the medicine for me, like you would help me. You 0:06:16.040 --> 0:06:18.000 were there holding my hand, trying to go to every appointment, 0:06:18.000 --> 0:06:20.039 only missed one because you had to work, and I 0:06:20.080 --> 0:06:22.680 was like, don't feel bad, go but you wanted me 0:06:22.720 --> 0:06:24.760 to FaceTime you and everything, like he's been very he 0:06:24.839 --> 0:06:26.640 was very good. And you know what, like we just 0:06:26.680 --> 0:06:29.520 celebrated three years. I can't believe that it's gonna it 0:06:29.560 --> 0:06:31.800 was three years. I mean, I don't know who asked 0:06:31.839 --> 0:06:33.240 this the other day, but they're like, does it feel 0:06:33.240 --> 0:06:35.799 like three years? And I'm like, it doesn't. It feels 0:06:35.839 --> 0:06:38.200 like shorter. That's a good thing, right. I don't feel like, 0:06:38.200 --> 0:06:39.640 oh my god, I'll go with this guy forever. Like 0:06:39.680 --> 0:06:40.919 I feel like it's so brad now. 0:06:40.960 --> 0:06:43.680 I'm like three years already because we were never fought. 0:06:43.800 --> 0:06:45.880 We have we have a lot of fun. Honestly, I 0:06:45.960 --> 0:06:48.279 enjoy my time with you so much, like you're my 0:06:48.320 --> 0:06:50.599 favorite person to hang out with and I'm fine with it. 0:06:50.640 --> 0:06:52.760 I've never felt that way, right. 0:06:52.920 --> 0:06:54.920 Yeah, I want to be with you all day every day. 0:06:55.040 --> 0:06:57.200 We too dude, I love eating with you, I love 0:06:57.279 --> 0:07:00.160 writing bikes with you. Like we just I've never i'vever 0:07:00.200 --> 0:07:01.760 been able to get away. And I've said this so 0:07:01.760 --> 0:07:04.000 many times, but I really truly mean it, like where 0:07:04.040 --> 0:07:05.800 it's like, oh, I'm so excited to get away just 0:07:05.839 --> 0:07:08.600 with you and we have dinner and we don't necessarily 0:07:08.600 --> 0:07:10.560 have to talk about anything. It's just we're there and 0:07:10.560 --> 0:07:12.080 we're just happy. 0:07:12.120 --> 0:07:12.960 And we've been sober. 0:07:13.240 --> 0:07:15.760 Yeah, that's been huge for us too, Like both of 0:07:15.840 --> 0:07:19.920 us been sober, like no cannabis, no alcohol. 0:07:20.080 --> 0:07:22.040 Just shrooms a couple times. 0:07:22.040 --> 0:07:23.720 A couple times when we went to Big Sur to 0:07:23.760 --> 0:07:27.160 celebrate our three years, we did shrooms and not like 0:07:27.240 --> 0:07:29.200 crazy amounts. You guys, it's not like and we don't 0:07:29.200 --> 0:07:30.920 do it to like, oh let's fucking party and like 0:07:30.960 --> 0:07:33.840 get crazy. Like we're always super intentional about like being 0:07:34.200 --> 0:07:36.560 spiritually aligned and doing it for spiritual reasons. 0:07:37.040 --> 0:07:39.920 And it was beautiful. We got in the jacuzzie and 0:07:40.000 --> 0:07:44.680 we just talked and we just talked. It was so awesome. Yeah, yeah, 0:07:44.680 --> 0:07:45.440 it was awesome. 0:07:45.720 --> 0:07:49.040 This one was a good one because we were functional 0:07:49.600 --> 0:07:52.559 and we were able to have really great conversations. Yeah, 0:07:52.600 --> 0:07:56.120 in a jacuzzie overlooking a mountain. Yeah, like it was incredible. 0:07:56.200 --> 0:07:57.000 It was awesome. 0:07:57.040 --> 0:07:59.160 We were in nature. I swear I was like talking 0:07:59.200 --> 0:08:00.680 to the trees and not like talking to the ship. 0:08:00.680 --> 0:08:03.280 But I was like, dude, they're alive. They're alive, And 0:08:03.320 --> 0:08:06.000 it just made me appreciate nature so much in the moment. 0:08:06.800 --> 0:08:07.680 It was so awesome. 0:08:07.680 --> 0:08:09.800 You guys, And for those of you shrooms they sound 0:08:09.800 --> 0:08:11.760 really bad, but they're mushrooms. Okay, they come from the earth, 0:08:11.800 --> 0:08:15.480 you guys are psychedelic psilocybin. It comes from the earth. 0:08:15.560 --> 0:08:18.480 It's supernatural. They're medicinal. And if you don't know more 0:08:18.480 --> 0:08:20.000 about it, maybe one day we can talk about it. 0:08:20.040 --> 0:08:22.000 We talked about it on the pod. We're gonna probably 0:08:22.000 --> 0:08:23.680 have to invite someone to come and really get into 0:08:23.720 --> 0:08:25.880 it now that we have a set. But like, I 0:08:25.920 --> 0:08:28.080 feel like there even I always say this even better 0:08:28.120 --> 0:08:29.680 than Thailand, or even better than a lot of things 0:08:29.720 --> 0:08:31.880 that we eat and drink on a daily basis. But 0:08:31.920 --> 0:08:36.360 that's just my opinion. And we're grown ups and we're good. 0:08:36.440 --> 0:08:38.439 But we do it together and we're on the same frequency, 0:08:38.480 --> 0:08:40.640 and I feel like it's really helped our relationship as well. 0:08:40.960 --> 0:08:41.880 Yeah, a lot. 0:08:42.320 --> 0:08:46.880 My favorite benefit of you know, psilocybin is how present 0:08:46.960 --> 0:08:51.160 it makes us. And every time we've had it, whether 0:08:51.960 --> 0:08:53.840 it felt like it was a bad trip or not, 0:08:54.400 --> 0:08:56.679 it always brought out what needed to come out. And 0:08:56.679 --> 0:08:59.920 oh my god, yes, because sometimes we have we're smooth, say, 0:09:00.559 --> 0:09:02.720 and sometimes it gets a little rocky and rough, but 0:09:03.280 --> 0:09:05.839 after it's like it brings out the things that we 0:09:06.000 --> 0:09:08.800 might be holding in and we talk, we talk, we 0:09:08.920 --> 0:09:12.160 sit there, we cry together, we let everything out. And 0:09:12.240 --> 0:09:16.199 I think that's like there's always a benefit after. 0:09:16.000 --> 0:09:16.520 We do it. 0:09:16.720 --> 0:09:20.960 Yeah, absolutely, And I always pray God, this medicine that 0:09:21.000 --> 0:09:23.840 comes from like the earth that you have provided, like 0:09:23.920 --> 0:09:25.719 let it like enter my body and bring out only 0:09:25.800 --> 0:09:27.840 the best. And I remember right now that you brought 0:09:27.880 --> 0:09:29.079 that up. And I'm not sure if we've ever talked 0:09:29.080 --> 0:09:31.600 about it or I did. But when we did it 0:09:31.640 --> 0:09:35.480 one time in Zion and we had a massive argument, 0:09:35.520 --> 0:09:39.480 you guys before going into like the narrows and we 0:09:39.480 --> 0:09:41.280 were supposed to we had this whole day plan, had 0:09:41.320 --> 0:09:43.480 our little snacks, everything so excited and then it just 0:09:43.559 --> 0:09:48.720 kicked in right when we parked and it was crazy, 0:09:48.840 --> 0:09:53.040 like we had really not horrible like we're hitting each other, no, 0:09:53.160 --> 0:09:55.920 but we just had a very deep discussion and I 0:09:55.960 --> 0:09:57.840 started crying and he was crying, and I left the 0:09:57.880 --> 0:09:59.839 car and then like I felt like a little girl 0:09:59.880 --> 0:10:00.520 like something. 0:10:00.559 --> 0:10:02.160 I don't know remember. I don't even remember what the 0:10:02.200 --> 0:10:02.680 argument was. 0:10:02.640 --> 0:10:05.160 About, but I just remember after that, I just we 0:10:05.200 --> 0:10:07.679 walked into the narrows together and it was just so awesome. 0:10:07.800 --> 0:10:11.240 Yeah. I also don't remember what the argument was about 0:10:11.360 --> 0:10:16.040 or what the conversation was about, but that time, like 0:10:16.200 --> 0:10:18.680 I hold onto that time. I feel it a lot. 0:10:18.760 --> 0:10:22.560 I get reminded of it a lot, especially when we 0:10:22.600 --> 0:10:24.760 do shrooms, because what I take from it it was 0:10:25.400 --> 0:10:28.640 it made us be present with each other and you know, 0:10:28.720 --> 0:10:30.959 express the things that we needed to express, and then 0:10:31.120 --> 0:10:34.600 it felt clean, And which is why I like to go. 0:10:34.520 --> 0:10:36.280 To took out some junk, I guess. 0:10:36.360 --> 0:10:38.360 Yeah, Yeah, which is why I like to go to 0:10:38.400 --> 0:10:40.800 places like that with you, because we're like so close 0:10:40.840 --> 0:10:44.880 to the earth, and I feel like I believe Mother 0:10:45.000 --> 0:10:48.000 Nature created those places for us to go there, and 0:10:48.000 --> 0:10:50.880 and it's she's doing wonders for us and like cleans 0:10:51.000 --> 0:10:53.120 us and she's like, you know what, come here, be 0:10:53.160 --> 0:10:55.559 grounded here with me, and I'll clean you up a 0:10:55.600 --> 0:11:00.680 little bit. Yeah, and we leave rejuvenated. Yeah, rejuvenated face cream, 0:11:00.679 --> 0:11:02.320 face cream, face cream. 0:11:02.800 --> 0:11:05.679 Every time I say rejuvenated, guys, Now he's like face cream. 0:11:06.360 --> 0:11:08.120 He uses my products and he loves them, don't lie. 0:11:08.160 --> 0:11:10.439 I do every day every day he uses. 0:11:10.240 --> 0:11:18.800 My skincare products. Does it feel different like now that 0:11:18.840 --> 0:11:19.559 you're my fiance? 0:11:19.760 --> 0:11:19.840 Like? 0:11:19.880 --> 0:11:20.840 Does it feel different like? 0:11:20.920 --> 0:11:22.599 Because I know, like there are times you guys, and 0:11:22.640 --> 0:11:25.040 he gets so mad at me when I'm with my boyfriend. 0:11:25.040 --> 0:11:26.959 He's like, I'm here what I'm oh? Yeah, I'm sorry, 0:11:27.000 --> 0:11:28.280 my fiance. I have done that. 0:11:28.320 --> 0:11:32.480 I've done that maybe once or twice. 0:11:32.600 --> 0:11:33.760 Yeah, But. 0:11:35.200 --> 0:11:39.040 I feel more connected to you for sure being fiancee, 0:11:39.880 --> 0:11:43.680 and I feel like we're It means like we're you know, 0:11:43.720 --> 0:11:46.160 committed to the same path, to the same things that 0:11:46.200 --> 0:11:48.440 we want in our life. And it's just like it 0:11:48.600 --> 0:11:52.000 to me, it's that prep It's that you know, right 0:11:52.000 --> 0:11:53.880 before husband and wife. 0:11:54.120 --> 0:11:56.680 So it's like starting to feel like more what's the 0:11:56.679 --> 0:11:57.520 word solidified? 0:11:57.600 --> 0:11:59.400 Yes, I feel that a lot. 0:12:00.040 --> 0:12:01.640 He taught me how to say that word correctly, guys, 0:12:01.800 --> 0:12:08.400 because I used to say, what felicitate? You felicit felicity facilitate. 0:12:08.440 --> 0:12:10.760 I'm like, yeah, you're right, babe. Sorry, and then I 0:12:10.800 --> 0:12:13.280 said solidified or sacilic. I don't know what I used 0:12:13.280 --> 0:12:15.080 to say, but anyways, it's the word. But yes, it 0:12:15.120 --> 0:12:19.120 does feel more so, it does. It does, and I 0:12:19.240 --> 0:12:21.160 like it. I like it, and I feel I feel 0:12:21.160 --> 0:12:24.160 like we're in a really good place. And I don't know, 0:12:24.240 --> 0:12:28.040 I really do see us eventually helping other couples out. 0:12:28.480 --> 0:12:32.080 I mean, because I've been very open about myself and 0:12:32.080 --> 0:12:35.760 the things that I've had to work through and within 0:12:35.800 --> 0:12:39.120 myself and my past relationships. And he's, as you guys 0:12:39.160 --> 0:12:43.080 could see, he's very like level headed and very mature 0:12:43.320 --> 0:12:43.920 and like. 0:12:43.960 --> 0:12:45.320 He really grounds me. 0:12:45.520 --> 0:12:49.120 And I feel that that's why it's worked, because you've 0:12:49.160 --> 0:12:51.920 been so so patient. 0:12:51.960 --> 0:12:54.920 It's like the word that I can like. You've been very. 0:12:54.960 --> 0:12:56.720 You've given me a lot of grace because I've been 0:12:56.840 --> 0:12:59.599 very honest and said, hey, this is I let it 0:12:59.640 --> 0:13:02.040 all hang out. Is who I am yo, you know, 0:13:02.120 --> 0:13:04.800 And and he's been okay cool, like I let him know, 0:13:04.880 --> 0:13:08.199 and he's been very He's really helped me through it 0:13:08.800 --> 0:13:10.840 and and I'm just I think, I don't know, and 0:13:10.840 --> 0:13:13.600 we're in a good place because we're doing couples therapy. 0:13:13.640 --> 0:13:15.120 You guys, Yeah, it's helped. 0:13:14.880 --> 0:13:18.120 A lot, which like reminds me of like what I 0:13:18.160 --> 0:13:21.960 wanted to say about being a fiance. It's even even this, 0:13:22.280 --> 0:13:26.880 I would say, almost a year of being engaged. It's 0:13:27.160 --> 0:13:30.880 changed dramatically since the beginning of our engagement to even now. 0:13:31.440 --> 0:13:34.160 And I feel one of the biggest things that I 0:13:34.200 --> 0:13:41.200 took from our premarital counting is that everyone's pre marital here. Yeah. 0:13:41.200 --> 0:13:42.320 I was like, it's not a couples therapy. 0:13:42.360 --> 0:13:45.439 Okay, everyone plans for a wedding, but no one plans 0:13:45.440 --> 0:13:48.920 for a marriage. And I think the difference between us 0:13:48.960 --> 0:13:52.840 and maybe you know, anyone else who's maybe not prepping 0:13:52.960 --> 0:13:55.920 correctly is that we are prepping. We're putting in the 0:13:55.920 --> 0:13:58.800 work this year, yeah, preparing for our marriage, and we're 0:13:58.840 --> 0:14:00.800 like getting things in line so that once we're married, 0:14:00.840 --> 0:14:03.160 we're not like, what do you think about this? 0:14:03.200 --> 0:14:03.839 What do you think about that? 0:14:04.200 --> 0:14:08.360 And yeah, and we're doing everything before it happens. And 0:14:08.400 --> 0:14:11.040 I think that's why we feel so ready. We put 0:14:11.080 --> 0:14:13.200 in the work to prep for it, and I think 0:14:13.360 --> 0:14:15.800 that's why we get are excited and we're not really 0:14:15.840 --> 0:14:19.280 worried about as many things we were worried before that 0:14:19.320 --> 0:14:21.120 come with spending the rest of your life with someone. 0:14:21.360 --> 0:14:21.680 Yeah. 0:14:21.720 --> 0:14:24.200 So that's why I feel. 0:14:23.960 --> 0:14:26.160 Like we're both very open to the process, very open 0:14:26.200 --> 0:14:29.160 and talking about there's certain things out in premarital counseling, 0:14:29.240 --> 0:14:31.600 like I feel nervous to tell him, just him and 0:14:31.640 --> 0:14:32.720 I because I'm like, I don't want to hurt his 0:14:32.760 --> 0:14:34.880 feelings or what if I say it wrong. But I 0:14:34.960 --> 0:14:36.560 go in there and I'm like, I have to be honest. 0:14:36.560 --> 0:14:39.280 This is my chance. And he takes it so well 0:14:39.320 --> 0:14:41.040 and I take it so well. And I think because 0:14:41.040 --> 0:14:44.560 we're both just open to growing and making this relationship right, 0:14:44.680 --> 0:14:47.200 Like we have to choose each other every single day. 0:14:47.960 --> 0:14:50.840 And that's once that clicked in my mind. It's like, 0:14:50.880 --> 0:14:53.000 this is a choice. I have to choose this person, 0:14:53.040 --> 0:14:55.680 which means I have to make certain adjustments. I have 0:14:55.760 --> 0:14:58.920 to be willing to compromise, and that wasn't as easy 0:14:58.960 --> 0:15:01.560 for me before. But you also give me the room 0:15:01.600 --> 0:15:04.000 for that, you know. I think it's because we're both ready, 0:15:04.200 --> 0:15:07.160 you know, And it makes the biggest difference in the world. 0:15:07.480 --> 0:15:09.440 Yeah. I think one of the biggest things that we 0:15:09.600 --> 0:15:11.200 learned was that were a. 0:15:11.160 --> 0:15:13.720 Team and that was like one. 0:15:13.560 --> 0:15:15.920 And even like what that really means and in our 0:15:16.000 --> 0:15:18.880 daily life and our language towards each other and how 0:15:18.920 --> 0:15:21.720 we say things and how we decide on things, and 0:15:21.800 --> 0:15:24.480 it's and it's never gonna just be you versus me. 0:15:24.680 --> 0:15:27.120 It will never be you versus me. It's always us. 0:15:27.280 --> 0:15:30.400 And you know, and I think switching our mind into 0:15:30.480 --> 0:15:34.000 that mentality, it's it's helped a lot versus like there's 0:15:34.760 --> 0:15:37.440 there's no half and half, it's we're one, you know. 0:15:37.640 --> 0:15:40.080 So it's it's changed. 0:15:39.720 --> 0:15:41.120 A lot, for sure. 0:15:41.240 --> 0:15:44.680 And that's another thing that I was listening to a 0:15:45.080 --> 0:15:49.240 to a friend of mine, and I'm so grateful because 0:15:49.960 --> 0:15:53.920 she was explaining like how her partner is like, well, 0:15:54.000 --> 0:15:55.760 if we have to go to therapy, then that means 0:15:55.760 --> 0:15:56.640 we shouldn't be together. 0:15:57.680 --> 0:15:58.840 And I was just. 0:15:58.800 --> 0:16:01.560 Like shit, like that's so which that's not the right 0:16:01.600 --> 0:16:04.040 way to see things, Like it's like it's not, oh, 0:16:04.040 --> 0:16:05.840 if I have to go to therapy, something's wrong with me, 0:16:05.920 --> 0:16:08.960 I'm damaged, I'm this and that Like, no, it's it's 0:16:09.000 --> 0:16:11.760 really we're two different people, you guys. This is why 0:16:11.800 --> 0:16:14.880 I'm such a huge advocate of of you know, counseling, 0:16:14.920 --> 0:16:19.760 of life coaching, of therapy, is because we're two different 0:16:19.760 --> 0:16:22.640 people coming together and that could be very difficult because 0:16:22.640 --> 0:16:24.640 we're so said in our ways. But if we're open 0:16:25.120 --> 0:16:29.680 to expanding and becoming one, it's not necessarily losing myself 0:16:29.680 --> 0:16:31.160 because that was what I was scared of. I was like, 0:16:31.200 --> 0:16:32.440 oh no, I still want to be me. I still 0:16:32.440 --> 0:16:34.040 want to be free, I still want to like and 0:16:34.160 --> 0:16:37.040 I now I know I can be myself and I 0:16:37.080 --> 0:16:39.680 can't also let him be himself, not let him he 0:16:39.720 --> 0:16:42.320 should be and I should be. And then we just 0:16:42.320 --> 0:16:45.160 come together and discuss certain things. And I think that's 0:16:45.200 --> 0:16:47.320 what dude, I've grown so much, even like in the 0:16:47.360 --> 0:16:49.600 past freaking few months, like where I'm like, oh, dude, 0:16:49.640 --> 0:16:52.520 like it's I had an epiphany. I'm like, I'm always evolving. 0:16:52.560 --> 0:16:54.920 I'm always like, oh my god, I'm so glad because 0:16:54.960 --> 0:16:56.040 like I used to see this differently. 0:16:56.080 --> 0:16:57.320 Now I'm like, yes, we're a team. 0:16:57.480 --> 0:17:00.600 And it just completely switched everything for me. And I 0:17:00.680 --> 0:17:03.880 wasn't very easy, but I wanted to, you know, and 0:17:04.040 --> 0:17:07.359 you know, and we even talked about IVF in you know, premarital, 0:17:07.600 --> 0:17:09.040 you know, and it's like with something like you guys 0:17:09.040 --> 0:17:09.919 really got to talk about this. 0:17:09.960 --> 0:17:11.880 Do you guys really want kids? And I was like, well, 0:17:11.960 --> 0:17:12.760 I'm eighty percent. 0:17:12.840 --> 0:17:15.800 No. I was like I'm chilling, Like I'm like I'm 0:17:15.800 --> 0:17:18.520