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Speaker 1: Hey, this is jonnas is Sam your og Okay Storytime

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Speaker 1: podcast hosts. We have some great stories coming up, but.

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Speaker 2: Before that, we have a quick two minute break from

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Speaker 2: the sponsors that keep the show alive. My fiance's friends

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Speaker 2: mocked my gift, so I removed them from the wedding party.

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Speaker 3: Was it a funny gift? Wait? Why are we mocking

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Speaker 3: gifts though?

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Speaker 2: My girlfriend slash fiance thirty two female and I thirty

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Speaker 2: three male, have been together for four years. We met

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Speaker 2: through common friends and after a while of casually hanging out,

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Speaker 2: we began dating and now are engaged.

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Speaker 1: A tale as old as time.

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Speaker 2: She has a core friend group of four people including herself,

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Speaker 2: two guys, one of whom is her cousin, and a girl,

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Speaker 2: and they have been very close since childhood. By the way,

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Speaker 2: this comes from user isopod substantial four six' five and

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Speaker 2: if you want to submit your own, stories go to

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Speaker 2: the r Slash Okay Storytime.

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Speaker 1: Sepreddit I'm, Dakota.

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Speaker 4: I'm, carly And I'm keon and.

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Speaker 1: We're gonna see WHAT opi has to.

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Speaker 2: Say WHEN i had first met the other three before

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Speaker 2: we had begun, dating they seemed like nice, people fun

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Speaker 2: to hang out, with but WHEN i was reintroduced to

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Speaker 2: them as her, boyfriend things were.

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Speaker 1: DIFFERENT i knew they were judging, me which is.

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Speaker 2: FINE i knew there would be a friends TEST i

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Speaker 2: would have to go, through but now four years, later

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Speaker 2: it still feels Like i'm being. Tested so for some,

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Speaker 2: background my girlfriend is, sweet, caring empathetic and. Sensitive she's

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Speaker 2: been hurt in past, relationships and we have spoken about it.

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Speaker 2: Briefly she gets upset when we talk about, it So

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Speaker 2: i've never pushed her. Much but from WHAT i, know

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Speaker 2: while she was never physically, mistreated they were still very toxic,

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Speaker 2: relationships they may have involved emotional. Abuse considering THAT i

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Speaker 2: get her friends being protective early when we were dating

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Speaker 2: and gradually became. Serious her friends always found ways TO

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Speaker 2: i don't know how to explain, this show me my

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Speaker 2: place in her.

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Speaker 1: Life if that makes, sense they.

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Speaker 2: Would i'd whisk her away if we were together and

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Speaker 2: barge into our. Dates she shares everything with, them so

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Speaker 2: they knew where we were going on. Dates the only

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Speaker 2: WAY i could get her to myself is IF i

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Speaker 2: planned a surprise get. Away but how many of those

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Speaker 2: can you? Do WHEN i reached my saturation, point we.

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Speaker 2: Talked she has a blind side with them and never

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Speaker 2: noticed what they were. Doing AFTER i pointed it out

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Speaker 2: and she saw it, happen the next time they did,

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Speaker 2: it she called them out on it threatened to stop

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Speaker 2: talking to. Them after a bit of, bickering they relented

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Speaker 2: and apologized to, her but not me. Anyway things got

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Speaker 2: much better after. That cut to, RECENTLY i know she

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Speaker 2: is the one for.

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Speaker 1: ME i love her.

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Speaker 2: Immensely in my, culture we don't have the whole proposing

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Speaker 2: with a, ring BUT i knew she has always wanted,

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Speaker 2: that SO i picked out a ring that belongs to my.

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Speaker 2: Grandmother it's part of a jewelry. Set in our, tradition

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Speaker 2: when we get, married the new bride is welcome to the,

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Speaker 2: family with the elders presenting her with heirloom.

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Speaker 1: JEWELRY i know my grandmother will be giving her the

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Speaker 1: remaining jewelry set as a wedding.

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Speaker 2: Present my parents and other elders in the family will

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Speaker 2: also be gifting similar.

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Speaker 1: Things the thing is that these, sets they're.

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Speaker 2: TRADITIONAL i guess What i'm trying to say is that

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Speaker 2: they may be too gaudy by modern.

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Speaker 1: Standards my girlfriend loved.

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Speaker 2: The, ring even though it isn't like the more conventional engagement.

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Speaker 2: RINGS i know all these sets she will eventually, get

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Speaker 2: she won't.

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Speaker 1: Wear probably, ever she likes to keep her style.

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Speaker 2: Simple BUT i just thought that gold is an asset

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Speaker 2: even if she doesn't wear.

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Speaker 1: THEM i know that's. Right they're hers for any other

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Speaker 1: use in.

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Speaker 2: Life my girlfriend knows all of, this and she never

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Speaker 2: said anything about. It cut to a week, back the

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Speaker 2: trio came over when my girlfriend wasn't. Home they said

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Speaker 2: THAT i was being, selfish that under the garb of,

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Speaker 2: TRADITION i was forcing my girlfriend to accept gifts she doesn't.

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Speaker 2: Want mind, you we do have a bridal registry set,

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Speaker 2: up AND i know for a fact many family, members

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Speaker 2: friends and colleagues have already selected items from. THERE i

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Speaker 2: told them that what my family gifts to my girlfriend

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Speaker 2: isn't any of their. Business they said THAT i was

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Speaker 2: no different from her past. Partners what is up with these,

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Speaker 2: friends dude.

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Speaker 5: Haters it's like he thought out, said you don't ever

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Speaker 5: have to wear. It it just needs to sit in

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Speaker 5: our home.

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Speaker 2: Somewhere, yeah it's just, like oh my, god imagine You

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Speaker 2: it's just like a rainy day and you're, like, oh

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Speaker 2: we're out of.

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Speaker 1: Money what do we?

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Speaker 2: Do, well there's the giant hunk of Gold grandma gave.

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Speaker 1: Us.

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Speaker 2: Yeah they also SAID i was being emotionally harmful and gaslighting.

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Speaker 2: Her my girlfriend had previously asked me to make her

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Speaker 2: two guy friends my. Groomsmen my brother is my best,

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Speaker 2: man AND i had agreed to make her, Happy but

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Speaker 2: after what they, SAID i told them that they were

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Speaker 2: no longer my.

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Speaker 1: Groomsmen when my girlfriend got, BACK i told her what.

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Speaker 2: Happened while she agrees that her friends had no right

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Speaker 2: to comment on the gifts my family give, her she

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Speaker 2: that she does not share their opinion and she does

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Speaker 2: FEEL i went too far and overreacted by removing her

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Speaker 2: friends from the wedding.

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Speaker 3: Party they can stand behind.

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Speaker 2: Her, then she had always wanted all three friends to

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Speaker 2: be a part of her, wedding and my rejection now

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Speaker 2: means that won't.

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Speaker 1: Happen AM i the? ALE i? Mean, honestly, dude, LIKE

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Speaker 1: i don't.

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Speaker 2: KNOW i think maybe you should have talked about it

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Speaker 2: with her instead of just like blowing up in the

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Speaker 2: moment and saying THAT i think BECAUSE i think it

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Speaker 2: might not be a bad idea to what but to

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Speaker 2: take them out of the, way like imagine having people

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Speaker 2: who just like constantly are haters to, your, yeah your,

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Speaker 2: fiance like in the.

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Speaker 1: Bridal party at your. Wedding it's, like what if they

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Speaker 1: try to sabotage?

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Speaker 5: It LIKE i don't get too is how she has

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Speaker 5: stayed such good friends with her with them while still

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Speaker 5: dating this, guy and how that hasn't like annoyed the

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Speaker 5: like crap out of.

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Speaker 2: Her, well he did say that it was kind of

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Speaker 2: a blind spot that she hadn't, noticed and then she

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Speaker 2: did notice it and calmed them. Out she does see it,

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Speaker 2: now so it's, like if you would have brought this to,

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Speaker 2: her she'd probably be, like oh my, god they're doing what?

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Speaker 1: Now they're doing? That LIKE i like the, ring like

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Speaker 1: she liked the ring from the jewelry. Set but there

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Speaker 1: is an.

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Speaker 2: Update these past few days have been nothing short of

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Speaker 2: a chaotic roller Coaster Vola.

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Speaker 1: Costa.

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Speaker 2: Hmmm so much has happened in such a short. Time

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Speaker 2: but BEFORE i get into, EVERYTHING i want to make

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Speaker 2: one thing very. Clear my girlfriend AND.

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Speaker 1: I love each other. Deeply she is a genuinely good.

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Speaker 2: PERSON i know that my original post may have unintentionally

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Speaker 2: portrayed her in a negative, light But the truth, is

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Speaker 2: while she has been incredibly naive when it comes to

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Speaker 2: her stooges and has often been easily manipulated by, them

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Speaker 2: she has always stood up for me when it truly.

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Speaker 1: Mattered her heart has always been in the right.

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Speaker 2: Place she did say THAT i overreacted WHEN i exiled

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Speaker 2: the guys from the wedding, party and she was disappointed

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Speaker 2: that all her three friends wouldn't be a part of.

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Speaker 1: The, wedding but that wasn't her only.

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Speaker 2: Reaction she also agreed that her friends had no right

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Speaker 2: to come into our home and insult. Me they had

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Speaker 2: no right to make statements on her behalf about the,

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Speaker 2: jewelry especially since.

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Speaker 1: They were false.

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Speaker 2: Statements and AFTER i changed the groomsmen to my cousin and,

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Speaker 2: friends she supported the decision and did not insist THAT

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Speaker 2: i take her friends. Back after the, incident she didn't

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Speaker 2: immediately reach out to the trio to talk to them

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Speaker 2: about what they. Did she's not a confrontational. Person she

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Speaker 2: is not someone who can counter argue on the, Spot

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Speaker 2: so when she knows there's going to be let's, say explosive,

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Speaker 2: conversation she usually likes to write down points of what

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Speaker 2: she wants to say what she would say IF xyz

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Speaker 2: was brought up at this, point blah blah, blah how

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Speaker 2: she would respond if they said, this.

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Speaker 1: To defend, that YadA YadA.

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Speaker 2: Like she likes being, PREPARED i, guess is What i'm

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Speaker 2: trying to, say especially with the, trio because when such situations,

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Speaker 2: arise she's usually defending me and our relationship and it's

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Speaker 2: always three against.

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Speaker 1: One i've tried in the past to help, her.

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Speaker 2: BUT i, dislike, understatement these guys enough that IF i

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Speaker 2: get involved in their, conversations it just always turns into

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Speaker 2: a verbal, spat and that just makes her more stressed. Out,

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Speaker 2: yes she has missed several glaring red flags when it

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Speaker 2: comes to her, friends but missing red flags doesn't automatically

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Speaker 2: make someone a bad. Person from her point of, view

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Speaker 2: these people were the backbone of her social. Life they've

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Speaker 2: been in her life since, childhood and she has always

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Speaker 2: seen them.

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Speaker 1: As, supportive, protecting and.

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Speaker 2: Caring when you are that close to someone for that,

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Speaker 2: long it can be extremely difficult to recognize.

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Speaker 1: Toxicity from the outside.

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Speaker 2: Looking, in it might seem like she was being intentionally

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Speaker 2: blind or refusing to accept, Reality but when you're the

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Speaker 2: one trapped inside that, bubble it's a lot harder to

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Speaker 2: see things. CLEARLY i had to explain this in a

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Speaker 2: comment on my previous, post but because people kept repeating

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Speaker 2: the same, QUESTIONS i thought it best to include it here.

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Speaker 2: Again so we have had open conversations about the gifts.

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Speaker 1: Before she also told me.

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Speaker 2: That she had shown her friends pictures of the jewelry

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Speaker 2: and talk to them about the. Gifts she never once

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Speaker 2: said she didn't.

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Speaker 1: Want them or didn't like.

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Speaker 2: Them they simply assumed she wouldn't like them because they

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Speaker 2: were not her usual. Style but as it turned, out

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Speaker 2: even that assumption was not. Innocent we later found out

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Speaker 2: that it was just another manipulation on their.

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Speaker 5: PART i see a lot of people in the chat

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Speaker 5: saying that one of them is in love with, her

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Speaker 5: so the other two friends are trying to, help AND.

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Speaker 1: I guess that could be the.

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Speaker 3: CASE i could see.

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Speaker 5: It that's not WHERE i like immediately thought of it,

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Speaker 5: going BUT i could see, it maybe just so for

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Speaker 5: all of them to jump on that train would be a.

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Speaker 1: Lot there are some medits.

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Speaker 2: Here we have indeed gone no contact with, them but

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Speaker 2: haven't blocked their numbers. Yet we will not be blocking

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Speaker 2: their numbers until next, weekend just giving them more time

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Speaker 2: to dig their own. Graves after, that we'll document the

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Speaker 2: messages for posterity and then block.

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Speaker 1: Them in due.

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Speaker 2: Time we're looking into sending cease and desist letters on

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Speaker 2: the grounds of defamation and. Slander it's only been three

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Speaker 2: to four days and a lot has happened so. Fast

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Speaker 2: we need some time to just think calmly about our next.

225
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Speaker 1: Steps oh my, god what happens? SLANDER i don't, okay

226
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Speaker 1: defamation and.

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00:10:21,240 --> 00:10:26,560
Speaker 2: Slander we have shared the recording in a common friends group.

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00:10:26,679 --> 00:10:29,439
Speaker 2: Chat if that finds its way to social media, somehow,

229
00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:32,800
Speaker 2: well so be. It for all those claiming that this

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00:10:32,880 --> 00:10:35,880
Speaker 2: is a fake, story a creative writing, exercise all BECAUSE

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00:10:35,920 --> 00:10:38,440
Speaker 2: i started the post with buckle, up ALL i have

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Speaker 2: to say is.

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00:10:39,040 --> 00:10:43,280
Speaker 5: Enjoy Like i'm wondering if maybe they can't say anything,

234
00:10:43,280 --> 00:10:44,760
Speaker 5: else if they're trying to make a.

235
00:10:44,840 --> 00:10:49,440
Speaker 2: CASE i guess they're, like, oh this is actually active

236
00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:52,439
Speaker 2: LEGAL i, know get evidence so.

237
00:10:52,440 --> 00:10:54,520
Speaker 3: Much tea so, quickly and then we got.

238
00:10:54,720 --> 00:11:01,280
Speaker 4: NOTHING tldr my girlfriend's childhood friends and tried to sabotage

239
00:11:01,320 --> 00:11:04,760
Speaker 4: our relationship by spreading, lies including telling at least one

240
00:11:04,800 --> 00:11:08,040
Speaker 4: of her exes she had. Schizophrenia they also try to

241
00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:11,320
Speaker 4: stir conflict over heirlom wedding gifts to create a wedge between.

242
00:11:11,520 --> 00:11:14,480
Speaker 4: Us AFTER i confronted an ex and played a recording

243
00:11:14,480 --> 00:11:17,719
Speaker 4: of his, claims my girlfriend was, devastated but confronted her,

244
00:11:17,720 --> 00:11:21,480
Speaker 4: friends who admitted they wanted to end up with one of.

245
00:11:21,520 --> 00:11:25,320
Speaker 4: Them she cut them off. Completely you guys call it

246
00:11:25,800 --> 00:11:26,040
Speaker 4: with the.

247
00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:26,920
Speaker 1: Wedding it was.

248
00:11:26,960 --> 00:11:30,120
Speaker 4: Accurate the wedding is, postponed but we are still, together

249
00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:33,800
Speaker 4: starting therapy soon and planning to move forward without the

250
00:11:33,880 --> 00:11:36,200
Speaker 4: toxic trio or their. Family.

251
00:11:36,400 --> 00:11:42,120
Speaker 3: Wow, Wow, wow that's. Crazy i'm. Hurt my husband wanted

252
00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:46,199
Speaker 3: to regift my gift for. Him he blamed pregnancy. Hormones

253
00:11:46,480 --> 00:11:50,959
Speaker 3: what a regifter Excuse my twenty six female husband thirty

254
00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:53,760
Speaker 3: one male is very, specific so getting a gift for

255
00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:57,520
Speaker 3: him was always a. Nightmare we were together for almost five,

256
00:11:57,640 --> 00:12:00,559
Speaker 3: years married for. Two our Second, annibal he was a

257
00:12:00,600 --> 00:12:03,880
Speaker 3: few days. AGO i put so much effort in his.

258
00:12:03,920 --> 00:12:06,960
Speaker 3: Gift he is a diehard fan of one football. Club

259
00:12:07,040 --> 00:12:09,160
Speaker 3: he really loves it and buys a lot of. MERCH

260
00:12:09,400 --> 00:12:11,880
Speaker 3: i was looking for something he doesn't have and found

261
00:12:11,920 --> 00:12:13,960
Speaker 3: a THREE d puzzle set of that club.

262
00:12:14,120 --> 00:12:14,760
Speaker 1: Stadium.

263
00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:18,840
Speaker 3: Interesting by the, way this comes From bachya eleven and

264
00:12:18,920 --> 00:12:20,480
Speaker 3: if you want to submit your own, stories go to

265
00:12:20,480 --> 00:12:23,319
Speaker 3: the r Slash okay. Storytime separate it so it has

266
00:12:23,360 --> 00:12:26,439
Speaker 3: two hundred pieces and it takes two to three hours

267
00:12:26,480 --> 00:12:29,240
Speaker 3: to put it. Together it was expensive af BUT i

268
00:12:29,320 --> 00:12:32,160
Speaker 3: knew he'll like, it SO i ordered. IT i even

269
00:12:32,200 --> 00:12:34,800
Speaker 3: put my mom's address for delivery in case he is

270
00:12:34,840 --> 00:12:36,960
Speaker 3: at home when it, arrives so he doesn't spoil the.

271
00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:40,960
Speaker 3: Surprise AND i was. Right he was happy as a

272
00:12:41,040 --> 00:12:43,000
Speaker 3: child when he saw. It he told me he'll put

273
00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:46,280
Speaker 3: it together with his, nephew Nine, mail who also loves that.

274
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Speaker 1: CLUB i hate that that was happy as a child

275
00:12:49,280 --> 00:12:50,199
Speaker 1: and not happy as a.

276
00:12:50,240 --> 00:12:54,320
Speaker 3: Clam children are not like well known for being happy

277
00:12:54,320 --> 00:12:56,360
Speaker 3: all the. Time you could be happy sometimes as a,

278
00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:58,760
Speaker 3: child but you can also throw tantrums a. Lot, well

279
00:12:58,840 --> 00:13:01,360
Speaker 3: the nephew came today and they were playing with, it

280
00:13:01,920 --> 00:13:05,200
Speaker 3: talking about the. Club then my husband pulled me aside

281
00:13:05,240 --> 00:13:07,000
Speaker 3: and asked me if he should give it to his

282
00:13:07,040 --> 00:13:09,960
Speaker 3: nephew because he liked. IT i was, like, uh what

283
00:13:10,160 --> 00:13:13,720
Speaker 3: THE F i told him do whatever you. WANT i don't,

284
00:13:13,760 --> 00:13:16,280
Speaker 3: care but he could see THAT i was. Pissed he

285
00:13:16,320 --> 00:13:18,600
Speaker 3: didn't regift, it but he promised the kid that he

286
00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:21,000
Speaker 3: would get him the. Same but the little guy didn't

287
00:13:21,040 --> 00:13:23,319
Speaker 3: ask for. It he didn't even tell us he liked.

288
00:13:23,320 --> 00:13:25,760
Speaker 3: It after the nephew went, HOME i told my husband

289
00:13:25,800 --> 00:13:28,160
Speaker 3: THAT i put so much effort into his gift when

290
00:13:28,160 --> 00:13:31,240
Speaker 3: he's a literal nightmare to get gifts for, THAT i

291
00:13:31,280 --> 00:13:34,360
Speaker 3: spent so much time finding him something, mindful And i'm

292
00:13:34,360 --> 00:13:36,760
Speaker 3: really hurt that he even thought about regifting it to.

293
00:13:36,840 --> 00:13:39,800
Speaker 3: Anyone he got, defensive told me that his nephew is

294
00:13:39,840 --> 00:13:42,680
Speaker 3: a child and would love to have, it and That

295
00:13:42,760 --> 00:13:46,520
Speaker 3: i'm massively. Overreacting he also Thinks i'm emotional because of

296
00:13:46,559 --> 00:13:50,439
Speaker 3: my pregnancy. Hormones i'm ten weeks pregnant with our second.

297
00:13:50,520 --> 00:13:53,360
Speaker 3: CHILD i don't think That i'm overreacting because my feelings

298
00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:56,199
Speaker 3: are really hurt and his actions are. CRAPPY i told

299
00:13:56,280 --> 00:13:58,480
Speaker 3: him he should offer to buy him another one in

300
00:13:58,520 --> 00:14:01,320
Speaker 3: the first. Place AM i really reacting or is this

301
00:14:01,360 --> 00:14:04,520
Speaker 3: a crappy thing to even think? About alick's fictitious says

302
00:14:04,679 --> 00:14:07,280
Speaker 3: that's so ungrateful and. Thoughtless i'd be, pissed but at

303
00:14:07,360 --> 00:14:10,080
Speaker 3: least he asked you first instead of just gifting. It

304
00:14:10,440 --> 00:14:13,040
Speaker 3: that demonstrates a bit of common. Sense it might help

305
00:14:13,080 --> 00:14:15,280
Speaker 3: in future to have a discussion about what gifting should

306
00:14:15,280 --> 00:14:18,400
Speaker 3: be like going. Forward given that he's already difficult and

307
00:14:18,520 --> 00:14:21,640
Speaker 3: didn't seem to appreciate your effort even when you've got it,

308
00:14:21,720 --> 00:14:24,920
Speaker 3: right does he care about, gifts it might be easier

309
00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:28,520
Speaker 3: to compromise on giving him only money or. Food opie, says,

310
00:14:28,560 --> 00:14:31,360
Speaker 3: well it makes a situation kind of, better But i'm still.

311
00:14:31,400 --> 00:14:34,840
Speaker 3: Pissed he likes, gifts but he's kind of, Difficult like

312
00:14:34,880 --> 00:14:38,480
Speaker 3: he only WEARS x brand of, clothes only why, perfume z,

313
00:14:38,640 --> 00:14:41,320
Speaker 3: books et. Cetera so the solution would be to always

314
00:14:41,320 --> 00:14:43,400
Speaker 3: give him the same, stuff WHICH i don't. Like he

315
00:14:43,440 --> 00:14:45,240
Speaker 3: doesn't want to take money from, me and WHEN i

316
00:14:45,280 --> 00:14:47,240
Speaker 3: ask him to try something in the, store he doesn't

317
00:14:47,240 --> 00:14:51,120
Speaker 3: feel like. It he really liked this, one So i'm

318
00:14:51,160 --> 00:14:52,800
Speaker 3: even more pissed that he wanted to give it.

319
00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:55,520
Speaker 1: Away we're gonna pause. There, well you could get HIM

320
00:14:55,680 --> 00:14:56,360
Speaker 1: X y OR. Z.

321
00:14:56,680 --> 00:14:59,880
Speaker 3: WELL i think THAT opi is in the mindset OF

322
00:15:00,160 --> 00:15:02,400
Speaker 3: i want to get him something that he's not. EXPECTING

323
00:15:02,440 --> 00:15:04,160
Speaker 3: i want to surprise. HIM i want to show him

324
00:15:04,160 --> 00:15:06,440
Speaker 3: THAT i put a lot of effort which is very.

325
00:15:06,480 --> 00:15:09,720
Speaker 3: FAIR i. Think, also my mom is a very hard

326
00:15:09,760 --> 00:15:12,680
Speaker 3: person to give gifts, too and so usually because we've

327
00:15:12,720 --> 00:15:15,320
Speaker 3: tried over the years to give her stuff that we're you,

328
00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:17,640
Speaker 3: know we're, like, oh it's a, surprise maybe she'll like.

329
00:15:17,720 --> 00:15:20,400
Speaker 3: This we give her what she, Wants we, Say, mom

330
00:15:20,960 --> 00:15:23,120
Speaker 3: what do you? Want and then we go within those

331
00:15:23,160 --> 00:15:26,800
Speaker 3: parameters and we give her what she. Wants sometimes for

332
00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:29,280
Speaker 3: difficult gift, givers you just need to ask them what they.

333
00:15:29,320 --> 00:15:31,120
Speaker 2: Want, YEAH i mean it sounds, like, oh he knows

334
00:15:31,160 --> 00:15:34,080
Speaker 2: exactly what he wants and just is, LIKE i want

335
00:15:34,080 --> 00:15:34,280
Speaker 2: to go.

336
00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:35,840
Speaker 1: Beyond AND i, mean.

337
00:15:35,760 --> 00:15:38,160
Speaker 3: She, succeeded she got, it she nailed, it and then

338
00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:39,520
Speaker 3: WAS i just.

339
00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:43,880
Speaker 2: Think fundamentally this guy might not view gifts as that

340
00:15:43,960 --> 00:15:44,360
Speaker 2: big of a.

341
00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:46,320
Speaker 3: Deal maybe that's a conversation they need to ask.

342
00:15:46,400 --> 00:15:48,160
Speaker 1: EXACTLY i just need to get clear on what this

343
00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:49,080
Speaker 1: means for each of.

344
00:15:49,120 --> 00:15:52,240
Speaker 3: You Net junkie, says does he want? Gifts does he expect?

345
00:15:52,280 --> 00:15:54,640
Speaker 3: Them i'm really hard to buy. For so my wife

346
00:15:54,680 --> 00:15:56,920
Speaker 3: KNOWS i don't expect. Gifts go make me a pie

347
00:15:57,080 --> 00:15:59,840
Speaker 3: or something That i'll. Love no need to put effort

348
00:15:59,880 --> 00:16:01,720
Speaker 3: in to buying me something THAT i may or may

349
00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:04,440
Speaker 3: not want. Anyway, oh he, Says, well a few months

350
00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:06,640
Speaker 3: ago he got a hoodie from his. CYSTS i know

351
00:16:06,720 --> 00:16:08,360
Speaker 3: he loved it and it fits him like a. Glove,

352
00:16:08,520 --> 00:16:10,520
Speaker 3: later he told me not to wash it because he

353
00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:13,800
Speaker 3: might regift it to someone. ELSE i was, like why

354
00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:16,280
Speaker 3: would you do that if you like? It, also he

355
00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:19,000
Speaker 3: is a big and tall. Guy he doesn't have any

356
00:16:19,040 --> 00:16:21,600
Speaker 3: friends or family members in his, Size, like who are

357
00:16:21,640 --> 00:16:24,240
Speaker 3: you even going to gift it? To he wears it,

358
00:16:24,280 --> 00:16:26,280
Speaker 3: now said he would regret it if he gave it

359
00:16:26,280 --> 00:16:29,480
Speaker 3: to someone. Else so maybe his first instinct whenever he

360
00:16:29,560 --> 00:16:31,120
Speaker 3: gets a gift is just to give it.

361
00:16:31,120 --> 00:16:33,160
Speaker 2: Away, yeah he just always. Thinks he's, like It's i'm

362
00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:33,800
Speaker 2: starting a gift.

363
00:16:33,880 --> 00:16:37,560
Speaker 3: Train, yeah. Freely Luigi board THREE d, says this tells

364
00:16:37,560 --> 00:16:39,960
Speaker 3: me a. Lot first of, all it's obvious you each

365
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:43,360
Speaker 3: have different emotional circuitry around gift, giving which is. NORMAL

366
00:16:43,600 --> 00:16:46,320
Speaker 3: i grew up in a family that loved through materialism

367
00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:49,880
Speaker 3: and put our heart and soul into. Gifts we also

368
00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:53,840
Speaker 3: got our sense of, worthiness, love and appreciation from the recipient's.

369
00:16:53,960 --> 00:16:57,640
Speaker 3: REACTION i have felt the devastation of someone regifting SOMETHING

370
00:16:57,680 --> 00:16:59,960
Speaker 3: i got them and it's a horrible feeling for. Sure

371
00:17:00,360 --> 00:17:04,000
Speaker 3: explore your own emotions and expectations around gifts and keep

372
00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:06,399
Speaker 3: communicating how you feel to, him and he needs to

373
00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:09,480
Speaker 3: listen and understand how hurtful it is to. You at

374
00:17:09,480 --> 00:17:12,280
Speaker 3: the same time he has his own. Issues my spouse

375
00:17:12,320 --> 00:17:16,040
Speaker 3: came from a poor culture where most consumer goods simply weren't.

376
00:17:16,080 --> 00:17:19,640
Speaker 3: Available christmas was an orange and handmade, socks and you liked.

377
00:17:19,640 --> 00:17:22,800
Speaker 3: It love was about providing for people and helping each other.

378
00:17:22,880 --> 00:17:25,919
Speaker 3: Survive que the marriage drama when they weren't as a

379
00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:29,240
Speaker 3: motive and dramatic and excited about the. GIFTS i put

380
00:17:29,280 --> 00:17:32,399
Speaker 3: a lot of thought into AND i received, boring practical

381
00:17:32,440 --> 00:17:36,080
Speaker 3: gifts that were on sale and reflected their interests and

382
00:17:36,160 --> 00:17:39,480
Speaker 3: idea of good, provision not. Mine after over a, decade

383
00:17:39,480 --> 00:17:43,679
Speaker 3: we both have deeper, introspection therapy and better, communication and

384
00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:47,399
Speaker 3: gifts have no pressure. Whatsoever we often don't even give them.

385
00:17:47,440 --> 00:17:51,040
Speaker 3: Anymore but this was a huge shift from my culture of,

386
00:17:51,080 --> 00:17:53,400
Speaker 3: origin AND i had to work through my own feelings

387
00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:57,439
Speaker 3: of not being appreciated or loved just because we had different.

388
00:17:57,480 --> 00:17:59,840
Speaker 3: Expectations there may be a clue in the fact that

389
00:17:59,880 --> 00:18:02,359
Speaker 3: he would give away something practical like a sweatshir that

390
00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:05,280
Speaker 3: he loved that fit him. Perfectly if he's quick to,

391
00:18:05,359 --> 00:18:09,639
Speaker 3: regift he may have underlying feelings of. Unworthiness some people

392
00:18:09,680 --> 00:18:12,280
Speaker 3: are raised that it is better to give than receive

393
00:18:12,440 --> 00:18:15,719
Speaker 3: and feel unworthy or selfish if they receive something beyond

394
00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:19,679
Speaker 3: their habitual. Class, subconsciously they often sabotage efforts that make

395
00:18:19,720 --> 00:18:21,880
Speaker 3: them feel like they're on the receiving end of. Charity

396
00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:24,879
Speaker 3: you may also have some haying ups around materialism or

397
00:18:24,920 --> 00:18:27,720
Speaker 3: having too much. Stuff maybe deep down he feels like

398
00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:30,120
Speaker 3: it's a child's toy and doesn't want to be seen

399
00:18:30,160 --> 00:18:33,040
Speaker 3: as a child but a good adult and father figure

400
00:18:33,160 --> 00:18:36,080
Speaker 3: the giver of, toys not the. Receiver same with your

401
00:18:36,080 --> 00:18:39,040
Speaker 3: mom and sisters still buying you clothes when you're a

402
00:18:39,080 --> 00:18:41,760
Speaker 3: grown button. Man the best thing is for each of

403
00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:44,840
Speaker 3: you to reflect on your, feelings, convictions and habits around

404
00:18:44,840 --> 00:18:47,840
Speaker 3: giving and receiving and their, origins and then share with

405
00:18:47,880 --> 00:18:50,080
Speaker 3: each other out of defying your relationship with gifts on

406
00:18:50,119 --> 00:18:53,120
Speaker 3: your own, terms throw out all you learn from your

407
00:18:53,119 --> 00:18:56,720
Speaker 3: families and, friends and decide how you two specifically want

408
00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:59,399
Speaker 3: to handle holidays in your, relationship and of, course explore

409
00:18:59,440 --> 00:19:02,040
Speaker 3: deeper person issues for which gifts are just the tip

410
00:19:02,040 --> 00:19:05,040
Speaker 3: of the. Iceberg you're, young and those deep issues can

411
00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:07,800
Speaker 3: end up solving a ton of problems if dealt with

412
00:19:08,040 --> 00:19:12,480
Speaker 3: at the. Root great, Comment love that agreed. Judgment not

413
00:19:12,560 --> 00:19:15,439
Speaker 3: the able, update but, YEAH i mean the answer to

414
00:19:15,480 --> 00:19:18,800
Speaker 3: this is. Communication figure out what gift giving means to

415
00:19:18,840 --> 00:19:20,960
Speaker 3: you before we jump on each other's.

416
00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:23,840
Speaker 2: Thrills, yeah because now everyone is built the same. WAY

417
00:19:23,920 --> 00:19:27,320
Speaker 2: i like how they said emotional circuitry. Different why is

418
00:19:27,440 --> 00:19:30,240
Speaker 2: in your brain and your? Heart maybe he. Does he's

419
00:19:30,280 --> 00:19:32,880
Speaker 2: like my, nephew probably deserves to. Gift there's a lot

420
00:19:32,920 --> 00:19:34,480
Speaker 2: of psychology going into, that for.

421
00:19:34,520 --> 00:19:37,920
Speaker 3: Sure. Update we talked this, morning. CALMLY i told him

422
00:19:37,920 --> 00:19:40,280
Speaker 3: how HURT i was when he dismissed my feelings and

423
00:19:40,359 --> 00:19:43,439
Speaker 3: blame my pregnancy hormones for. THEM i explained HOW i

424
00:19:43,480 --> 00:19:46,080
Speaker 3: feel when he does, that AND i feel unappreciated and

425
00:19:46,119 --> 00:19:48,479
Speaker 3: that he doesn't care about my feelings WHILE i know he.

426
00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:51,479
Speaker 3: Does he, apologized AND i know it was, genuine but

427
00:19:51,520 --> 00:19:54,439
Speaker 3: also admitted that his comment about my hormones was rude and.

428
00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:58,200
Speaker 3: Unnecessary he also promised that he would be more considerate

429
00:19:58,240 --> 00:20:01,960
Speaker 3: about my feelingsologized for telling him that he's a nightmare

430
00:20:02,040 --> 00:20:05,000
Speaker 3: and for being passive. Aggressive he told me it's, okay

431
00:20:05,400 --> 00:20:08,520
Speaker 3: and he wasn't mad for. That about the, gift last,

432
00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:10,919
Speaker 3: night he put it together and almost was late to

433
00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:13,119
Speaker 3: his night. Shift he told me he really loves it

434
00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:16,040
Speaker 3: and didn't actually want to regift. It then he told

435
00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:19,080
Speaker 3: me a bit about his. Upbringing his mother often regifted.

436
00:20:19,080 --> 00:20:21,960
Speaker 3: Things they were gifted even though he actually liked, them

437
00:20:22,359 --> 00:20:26,040
Speaker 3: and he hated. It they were not, poor but her

438
00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:29,000
Speaker 3: policy was why buy someone's gift when you can regift

439
00:20:29,040 --> 00:20:29,399
Speaker 3: something you?

440
00:20:29,520 --> 00:20:29,800
Speaker 6: Got?

441
00:20:30,080 --> 00:20:33,000
Speaker 1: Wow oh, no that's.

442
00:20:33,040 --> 00:20:35,560
Speaker 3: Bad she gave away his stuff until he moved. Out

443
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:38,560
Speaker 3: now he feels guilty when he keeps, something even when

444
00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:42,520
Speaker 3: he likes, it and he knows why that's happening. NOW

445
00:20:42,600 --> 00:20:44,600
Speaker 3: i remember the time when his mom stayed with us

446
00:20:44,600 --> 00:20:47,719
Speaker 3: to help WHILE i was. Postpartum she was actually, helpful

447
00:20:47,760 --> 00:20:50,240
Speaker 3: but also tried to give away some of our stuff to,

448
00:20:50,320 --> 00:20:53,080
Speaker 3: others AND i was really, Pissed, like what gives you

449
00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:55,760
Speaker 3: the right to give away my? CRAP i grew up,

450
00:20:55,760 --> 00:20:59,080
Speaker 3: poor but my parents never pulled this. Stuff when we like,

451
00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:02,440
Speaker 3: something we kept. It you know those fancy chocolate boxes

452
00:21:02,440 --> 00:21:04,880
Speaker 3: that are passed, Around, well we ended up eating. Them

453
00:21:05,160 --> 00:21:07,199
Speaker 3: people pass around the seas candy.

454
00:21:07,200 --> 00:21:11,359
Speaker 1: BOXES i have no idea what they're talking.

455
00:21:11,359 --> 00:21:14,359
Speaker 3: ABOUT i think she's saying like she's implying that people

456
00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:15,480
Speaker 3: regift those.

457
00:21:15,280 --> 00:21:18,359
Speaker 2: SEA i don't think the seas candy's, fancy, RIGHT i

458
00:21:18,359 --> 00:21:18,879
Speaker 2: think it's Just.

459
00:21:18,960 --> 00:21:20,040
Speaker 1: CALIFORNIA i don't.

460
00:21:20,080 --> 00:21:22,280
Speaker 3: KNOW i always thought it was fancy WHEN i call

461
00:21:22,400 --> 00:21:25,879
Speaker 3: boxes seas, CANDY i thought those were all, fancy AND

462
00:21:25,920 --> 00:21:26,720
Speaker 3: i ate them all.

463
00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:30,080
Speaker 2: UP i, mean they're definitely, delicious they're. Tasty there's a

464
00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:33,399
Speaker 2: little bit left to this. Story have you any? Thoughts so,

465
00:21:33,840 --> 00:21:36,639
Speaker 2: YEAH i mean, literally it's an, oldie but a. Goodie

466
00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:39,320
Speaker 2: it's like before you get really, UPSET i have a, conversation,

467
00:21:39,480 --> 00:21:42,040
Speaker 2: agreed it's not possible to be, like, oh, WELL i

468
00:21:42,119 --> 00:21:44,919
Speaker 2: just won't feel any emotions UNTIL i have a.

469
00:21:45,040 --> 00:21:46,000
Speaker 1: Talk but it's like.

470
00:21:45,920 --> 00:21:47,199
Speaker 3: Before you make any big.

471
00:21:47,520 --> 00:21:51,760
Speaker 2: Decision, yeah don't act upon those emotions until you, go,

472
00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:53,280
Speaker 2: hey let's talk about that.

473
00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:54,359
Speaker 1: First that's a.

474
00:21:54,280 --> 00:21:56,920
Speaker 3: Great way to phrase it for all of our. Stories

475
00:21:57,119 --> 00:22:01,280
Speaker 3: don't act upon intense emotions until you've. Conversation doesn't mean

476
00:22:01,280 --> 00:22:03,760
Speaker 3: that you can't have those intense emotions, Though but there's

477
00:22:03,800 --> 00:22:06,360
Speaker 3: a little bit left to this. Story, meanwhile we don't

478
00:22:06,400 --> 00:22:08,280
Speaker 3: give gifts to my mother in law anymore because we

479
00:22:08,320 --> 00:22:10,720
Speaker 3: know she's gonna regift. Them we just give her. MONEY

480
00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:12,919
Speaker 3: i told my husband that we will go shopping for

481
00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:15,480
Speaker 3: his birthday and he'll choose his own, gift just to

482
00:22:15,520 --> 00:22:18,080
Speaker 3: make sure it's something he, likes and we'll actually. Use

483
00:22:18,560 --> 00:22:21,440
Speaker 3: stadium is now displayed with his other football stuff at.

484
00:22:21,480 --> 00:22:24,080
Speaker 3: It sorry for not, mentioning but he gave his nephew gifts.

485
00:22:24,160 --> 00:22:26,480
Speaker 3: Yesterday he bought him new shoes because he had good,

486
00:22:26,520 --> 00:22:29,199
Speaker 3: grades and also new shoes for his little sister who

487
00:22:29,280 --> 00:22:31,600
Speaker 3: doesn't go to school. Yet he also gave him some

488
00:22:31,640 --> 00:22:34,200
Speaker 3: money for his upcoming school, trip SO i don't think

489
00:22:34,240 --> 00:22:37,119
Speaker 3: giving him this puzzle set was, necessary at least not

490
00:22:37,359 --> 00:22:41,040
Speaker 3: at the same. Day And Feisty thunderhorse in the comments section,

491
00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:43,680
Speaker 3: says glad you guys had a calm discussion about. It

492
00:22:43,720 --> 00:22:47,800
Speaker 3: sounds like you're both feeling. Better communication always helps when

493
00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:49,399
Speaker 3: both sides are reasonable and.

494
00:22:49,480 --> 00:22:54,400
Speaker 2: OPEN i wanted to divorce my wife because she's stay at.

495
00:22:54,400 --> 00:22:55,680
Speaker 1: Home that doesn't make.

496
00:22:55,720 --> 00:22:59,399
Speaker 2: SENSE i male thirty married my, wife female, thirty around

497
00:22:59,400 --> 00:23:02,520
Speaker 2: five years. Ago we've been dating since high. SCHOOL i

498
00:23:02,600 --> 00:23:07,040
Speaker 2: loved how, smart ambitious and driven she. Was we bonded

499
00:23:07,080 --> 00:23:10,840
Speaker 2: over academics and nerd. Stuff we had both landed good

500
00:23:10,920 --> 00:23:13,879
Speaker 2: jobs in the same city right after. College by the,

501
00:23:13,880 --> 00:23:16,720
Speaker 2: way this comes from user Otherwise time fourteen oh four

502
00:23:17,040 --> 00:23:18,879
Speaker 2: and if you want to submit your own, stories go

503
00:23:18,880 --> 00:23:20,679
Speaker 2: to the r Slash okay storytime subburt.

504
00:23:20,720 --> 00:23:24,040
Speaker 1: It, so three years into, marriage we had our.

505
00:23:24,080 --> 00:23:27,360
Speaker 2: Baby we had decided on sending our child to daycare

506
00:23:27,520 --> 00:23:30,280
Speaker 2: after six, months but when the six months were, up

507
00:23:30,840 --> 00:23:33,880
Speaker 2: my wife refused to go to work and send our

508
00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:37,560
Speaker 2: child to. Daycare her argument was IF i picked up more,

509
00:23:37,600 --> 00:23:41,320
Speaker 2: work we could afford a single income, household and she'd

510
00:23:41,359 --> 00:23:43,320
Speaker 2: be saving us money by being a stay at home,

511
00:23:43,400 --> 00:23:45,719
Speaker 2: parent and that it was better for our child as.

512
00:23:45,760 --> 00:23:48,080
Speaker 1: WELL i, refused daycare is.

513
00:23:48,160 --> 00:23:50,399
Speaker 2: Normal if it was only me, WORKING i would have

514
00:23:50,440 --> 00:23:53,680
Speaker 2: to work way more, hours be, exhausted and not spend

515
00:23:53,760 --> 00:23:56,919
Speaker 2: as much time with my. CHILD i, said if she

516
00:23:57,000 --> 00:23:59,560
Speaker 2: was scared about, daycare we can work in different shifts

517
00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:02,200
Speaker 2: to stay home with our baby like a tag. Team

518
00:24:02,560 --> 00:24:05,880
Speaker 2: but she, refuses saying that does not work for her

519
00:24:05,920 --> 00:24:07,840
Speaker 2: and as a, mom she needs to be with her

520
00:24:07,840 --> 00:24:11,080
Speaker 2: baby all the. Time this caused a huge fight between.

521
00:24:11,160 --> 00:24:14,080
Speaker 2: Us she quit her. Job she took care of baby

522
00:24:14,200 --> 00:24:16,399
Speaker 2: during work hours and wanted me to take care of

523
00:24:16,480 --> 00:24:20,800
Speaker 2: cooking dinner on weekdays and, cooking cleaning and baby care

524
00:24:20,840 --> 00:24:24,479
Speaker 2: on weekends because stay at home mom deserves breaks, too all,

525
00:24:24,600 --> 00:24:25,200
Speaker 2: right pick a.

526
00:24:25,280 --> 00:24:27,560
Speaker 3: Lane the thing, IS i, agree, yes stay at home

527
00:24:27,560 --> 00:24:32,479
Speaker 3: mom's absolutely deserve, breaks but you're expecting him to be

528
00:24:32,840 --> 00:24:36,240
Speaker 3: full time work and also do all of this.

529
00:24:36,440 --> 00:24:41,560
Speaker 2: Childcare this dynamic really made me resent. HER i tried

530
00:24:41,640 --> 00:24:45,960
Speaker 2: communicating many times that the load of bills and insane work,

531
00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:49,840
Speaker 2: hours along with not being able to enjoy time with

532
00:24:50,119 --> 00:24:53,600
Speaker 2: my baby all deeply upset. Me WHEN i was sure

533
00:24:53,760 --> 00:24:56,320
Speaker 2: she's not going to listen to, ME i filed for.

534
00:24:56,400 --> 00:24:59,080
Speaker 2: Divorce the court gave me fifty to fifty, custody no

535
00:24:59,240 --> 00:25:01,959
Speaker 2: alimony or child, support SINCE i proved it was her

536
00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:04,840
Speaker 2: own decision to stay at home SOMETHING i never agreed,

537
00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:07,919
Speaker 2: upon and her career break was around a. YEAR i

538
00:25:08,040 --> 00:25:10,400
Speaker 2: moved back in with my parents and they have room

539
00:25:10,440 --> 00:25:13,960
Speaker 2: for our baby. Too, meanwhile my ex wife is struggling

540
00:25:14,320 --> 00:25:17,280
Speaker 2: living paycheck to. Paycheck my baby stays.

541
00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:17,840
Speaker 1: With my mom WHEN i.

542
00:25:17,880 --> 00:25:20,800
Speaker 2: Work my mom offered my ex the, same but she

543
00:25:20,960 --> 00:25:23,560
Speaker 2: was so mad at me she refused and enrolled our

544
00:25:23,600 --> 00:25:24,280
Speaker 2: baby in a.

545
00:25:24,400 --> 00:25:26,760
Speaker 1: Daycare so she enrolled our baby in.

546
00:25:26,840 --> 00:25:30,320
Speaker 2: DAYCARE i refused to pay for it since she could

547
00:25:30,359 --> 00:25:32,920
Speaker 2: just leave our kid with my. Mom my ex wife

548
00:25:33,040 --> 00:25:35,320
Speaker 2: and her friends are now calling me an a hole

549
00:25:35,400 --> 00:25:37,880
Speaker 2: for divorcing her over being a stay at home mom

550
00:25:37,960 --> 00:25:39,120
Speaker 2: and not providing any.

551
00:25:39,119 --> 00:25:41,320
Speaker 1: Support so AM i the a? Whole Asks.

552
00:25:41,320 --> 00:25:44,240
Speaker 2: Opie and we do have some, comments let's go ahead

553
00:25:44,240 --> 00:25:44,680
Speaker 2: and get into.

554
00:25:44,680 --> 00:25:46,879
Speaker 1: Them United man or twenty says not the.

555
00:25:46,920 --> 00:25:49,080
Speaker 2: Ahole if she would have had a conversation that took

556
00:25:49,119 --> 00:25:51,200
Speaker 2: your feelings into, account you would still be married and

557
00:25:51,240 --> 00:25:52,720
Speaker 2: the baby would have been in daycare.

558
00:25:52,920 --> 00:25:56,040
Speaker 3: Exactly you even could have found a way to work

559
00:25:56,200 --> 00:25:57,080
Speaker 3: out stay at home.

560
00:25:57,080 --> 00:25:59,400
Speaker 1: Mom the terms could have been a little more.

561
00:25:59,720 --> 00:26:00,000
Speaker 3: Equal.

562
00:26:00,359 --> 00:26:04,000
Speaker 2: Exactly now she has to work regardless and the baby

563
00:26:04,160 --> 00:26:04,600
Speaker 2: is still in.

564
00:26:04,680 --> 00:26:07,840
Speaker 1: Daycare this is one of those f around and find out.

565
00:26:07,880 --> 00:26:13,320
Speaker 2: Scenarios the court's decided custody and no child support owed by.

566
00:26:13,359 --> 00:26:16,000
Speaker 2: You her decisions put her where she is right, now

567
00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:18,600
Speaker 2: and that has nothing to do with. You enjoy being

568
00:26:18,640 --> 00:26:22,040
Speaker 2: able to spend more time with your. Kiddo congratulations as

569
00:26:22,080 --> 00:26:25,320
Speaker 2: well on only having to financially support one. Person now

570
00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:26,800
Speaker 2: you can have a breathing room.

571
00:26:26,640 --> 00:26:28,000
Speaker 1: And enjoy the time with your.

572
00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:31,600
Speaker 2: BABY mca twenty twenty one, says not The, ahle AND i.

573
00:26:31,640 --> 00:26:34,920
Speaker 2: Agree it's like she made a unilateral decision that affected

574
00:26:34,920 --> 00:26:35,280
Speaker 2: both of.

575
00:26:35,280 --> 00:26:37,040
Speaker 1: YOU i found this part especially.

576
00:26:37,160 --> 00:26:39,520
Speaker 2: Rich she took care of the baby during my work

577
00:26:39,560 --> 00:26:41,720
Speaker 2: hours and wanted me to take care of cooking dinner

578
00:26:41,760 --> 00:26:45,120
Speaker 2: on weekdays and, cooking cleaning and baby care on, weekends

579
00:26:45,119 --> 00:26:48,080
Speaker 2: because stay at home moms deserve breaks, too so when

580
00:26:48,200 --> 00:26:51,600
Speaker 2: exactly his dad's, break she sounds like a very selfish

581
00:26:51,640 --> 00:26:56,480
Speaker 2: and titled. Person Electronic fox sixty three eighty three says

582
00:26:56,520 --> 00:26:59,120
Speaker 2: everyone needs to be on the same page once children are.

583
00:26:59,160 --> 00:27:00,880
Speaker 1: Involved you clearly were.

584
00:27:00,920 --> 00:27:03,200
Speaker 2: Not you're not The ahle for not wanting to be the,

585
00:27:03,240 --> 00:27:06,840
Speaker 2: breadwinner the, cook the, cleaner and the weekend. Nanny obviously

586
00:27:06,880 --> 00:27:09,640
Speaker 2: not where was there supposed to be time in that

587
00:27:09,760 --> 00:27:13,000
Speaker 2: for your well deserved. Break i'm sorry for your child

588
00:27:13,080 --> 00:27:16,040
Speaker 2: that this ended in, divorce but you tried to communicate

589
00:27:16,080 --> 00:27:16,880
Speaker 2: your desires many.

590
00:27:16,920 --> 00:27:18,399
Speaker 1: Times good luck to.

591
00:27:18,480 --> 00:27:23,200
Speaker 2: You John Redcorn massage says they did communicate and did

592
00:27:23,320 --> 00:27:23,600
Speaker 2: have a.

593
00:27:23,640 --> 00:27:24,960
Speaker 1: Plan they both agreed to.

594
00:27:25,400 --> 00:27:28,359
Speaker 2: Daycare after six, months she tried to change the terms

595
00:27:28,400 --> 00:27:31,040
Speaker 2: to one where she works way less and he works way.

596
00:27:31,040 --> 00:27:34,639
Speaker 2: More The Dark helmet nineteen eighty five says, bro she

597
00:27:34,720 --> 00:27:37,280
Speaker 2: you latterly changed the whole nature of your relationship and

598
00:27:37,320 --> 00:27:39,760
Speaker 2: put all the work on you without your. Consent you

599
00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:42,159
Speaker 2: are not the. AHOLE i would have divorced her but,

600
00:27:42,320 --> 00:27:44,359
Speaker 2: too AND i wouldn't have helped her in the. Least

601
00:27:44,480 --> 00:27:46,440
Speaker 2: best part is you forced her to do the thing

602
00:27:46,520 --> 00:27:48,840
Speaker 2: she refused, to which led to your divorce in the first.

603
00:27:48,840 --> 00:27:49,400
Speaker 1: Place love.

604
00:27:49,440 --> 00:27:50,479
Speaker 3: IT i didn't like that.

605
00:27:50,560 --> 00:27:53,400
Speaker 1: Comment, now that comment was all the wrong energy right.

606
00:27:53,400 --> 00:27:53,960
Speaker 4: There you.

607
00:27:54,119 --> 00:27:56,480
Speaker 3: Won it's, like, no, no, no that was a weird.

608
00:27:56,520 --> 00:27:58,639
Speaker 2: Comment still the mother of my, child all, RIGHT i

609
00:27:58,680 --> 00:28:01,320
Speaker 2: don't want to like. Slam i'm dunker not a fan of.

610
00:28:01,320 --> 00:28:03,560
Speaker 3: THAT i don't like you. Commentary what's the over.

611
00:28:03,440 --> 00:28:05,800
Speaker 1: Under that that guy got? Divorced, yeah he's, like.

612
00:28:05,800 --> 00:28:08,680
Speaker 3: OH i just hate my, wife truly hoping That ope

613
00:28:08,840 --> 00:28:12,240
Speaker 3: went through all the therapy and everything before he chose,

614
00:28:12,320 --> 00:28:13,520
Speaker 3: divorce which.

615
00:28:13,280 --> 00:28:13,760
Speaker 1: It sounds like it.

616
00:28:13,800 --> 00:28:15,560
Speaker 2: Did it sounds like there was an attempt to do.

617
00:28:15,600 --> 00:28:17,000
Speaker 2: It and then it's, like all, right this is not

618
00:28:17,119 --> 00:28:19,600
Speaker 2: going to. CHANGE i can't do. It can you imagine

619
00:28:19,680 --> 00:28:22,159
Speaker 2: you have a. Child every day is a late night,

620
00:28:22,200 --> 00:28:24,520
Speaker 2: shift and then when you get, home you actually have

621
00:28:24,560 --> 00:28:27,080
Speaker 2: to clean up after. Me and Then friday rolls around

622
00:28:27,080 --> 00:28:30,240
Speaker 2: and you're, like here comes the. Weekend just, Kidding i'm

623
00:28:30,280 --> 00:28:32,880
Speaker 2: going to the medspa and you're watching the kid for two,

624
00:28:32,920 --> 00:28:35,439
Speaker 2: days and here Comes, monday time to clock back into the.

625
00:28:35,440 --> 00:28:36,680
Speaker 1: Office literal.

626
00:28:36,720 --> 00:28:38,440
Speaker 3: INSANITY i do want to say there are a lot

627
00:28:38,440 --> 00:28:41,040
Speaker 3: of parents out there who have to do, this don't

628
00:28:41,040 --> 00:28:43,520
Speaker 3: have the luxury of taking any time off because they

629
00:28:43,560 --> 00:28:47,320
Speaker 3: have to work like insanely. Impressive these people deserve all

630
00:28:47,400 --> 00:28:49,640
Speaker 3: the love and support and. Stuff but, yeah if this

631
00:28:49,720 --> 00:28:51,400
Speaker 3: is not a thing that you have to, do if

632
00:28:51,400 --> 00:28:54,040
Speaker 3: you have other, options don't make your partner take on

633
00:28:54,160 --> 00:28:56,120
Speaker 3: the sole responsibility of the.

634
00:28:56,160 --> 00:28:58,200
Speaker 1: World, yeah not so, lovely one.

635
00:28:58,400 --> 00:29:01,360
Speaker 2: Says and now she's turned down free child's care with

636
00:29:01,480 --> 00:29:03,840
Speaker 2: the kid's grandma because she wants to prove a. Point

637
00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:06,560
Speaker 2: it certainly doesn't seem like she's making the best decisions

638
00:29:06,600 --> 00:29:10,080
Speaker 2: for the baby. Here grace Land rock, says her decision

639
00:29:10,120 --> 00:29:12,400
Speaker 2: seems to be made from a place of self. Interest

640
00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:15,400
Speaker 2: in SPITE i must Admit i'm concerned about the welfare

641
00:29:15,440 --> 00:29:16,840
Speaker 2: of the child in her.

642
00:29:16,920 --> 00:29:19,720
Speaker 1: Care there's an. UPDATE i think that's probably a.

643
00:29:19,760 --> 00:29:22,640
Speaker 3: STRETCH i, mean maybe some of her energy comes from

644
00:29:22,680 --> 00:29:24,960
Speaker 3: she doesn't want it, work BUT i, think, hopefully it

645
00:29:25,000 --> 00:29:26,719
Speaker 3: seems like a lot of her energy comes from she

646
00:29:26,720 --> 00:29:27,600
Speaker 3: wants to be around her.

647
00:29:27,720 --> 00:29:30,440
Speaker 2: Kid of, course like this whole thing was because she's,

648
00:29:30,440 --> 00:29:31,800
Speaker 2: LIKE i just want to be. MOM i think the

649
00:29:31,800 --> 00:29:34,960
Speaker 2: fact that she's like clearly like contentious with her ex

650
00:29:35,080 --> 00:29:37,880
Speaker 2: husband has nothing to do with her ability to be

651
00:29:37,920 --> 00:29:40,000
Speaker 2: a mother to her child until proven.

652
00:29:40,000 --> 00:29:44,040
Speaker 3: OTHERWISE i hope that she, is you, know putting motherhood.

653
00:29:43,600 --> 00:29:45,800
Speaker 2: Until we get the. Evidence that's way too much of

654
00:29:45,800 --> 00:29:49,880
Speaker 2: a stretch for. Me update comment section truly shows how

655
00:29:50,400 --> 00:29:52,800
Speaker 2: the community, is with most of the you are the

656
00:29:52,840 --> 00:29:55,680
Speaker 2: ale comments calling me broke and asking me to man,

657
00:29:55,760 --> 00:29:58,480
Speaker 2: Up others saying mom deserves to be with her baby

658
00:29:58,480 --> 00:30:00,160
Speaker 2: And i'm an ale for taking that away f from.

659
00:30:00,200 --> 00:30:02,080
Speaker 3: THEM i, mean the mom is fifty to, fifty it's.

660
00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:02,640
Speaker 1: Right it's split.

661
00:30:02,640 --> 00:30:06,440
Speaker 3: Custody, yeah very against the idea that a man can't

662
00:30:06,440 --> 00:30:07,160
Speaker 3: be a good.

663
00:30:07,200 --> 00:30:10,520
Speaker 2: Parents you heard it her, first, Folks sophia loves, Dudes

664
00:30:10,680 --> 00:30:13,680
Speaker 2: love all those. Dads my marriage was based on. EQUALITY

665
00:30:14,040 --> 00:30:16,640
Speaker 2: i never wanted to be the sole. Breadwinner and to

666
00:30:16,680 --> 00:30:20,040
Speaker 2: everyone telling me mom staying home is best and the

667
00:30:20,080 --> 00:30:21,600
Speaker 2: thing to do if you can afford.

668
00:30:21,640 --> 00:30:24,120
Speaker 1: IT i was clearly saying we.

669
00:30:24,480 --> 00:30:27,720
Speaker 2: Can't daycare expense would have been thirty percent of my

670
00:30:27,800 --> 00:30:30,200
Speaker 2: wife's salary and fifteen percent of our joint.

671
00:30:30,240 --> 00:30:32,720
Speaker 1: INCOME i was not even demanding.

672
00:30:32,800 --> 00:30:36,080
Speaker 2: DAYCARE i offered my mom's help part, time with different,

673
00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:39,320
Speaker 2: shifts et. Cetera anything that would enable me to have

674
00:30:39,440 --> 00:30:41,560
Speaker 2: quality time with my child as, well WHICH i think

675
00:30:41,640 --> 00:30:44,200
Speaker 2: is something we're getting. Here as she was also being,

676
00:30:44,240 --> 00:30:46,560
Speaker 2: like and, yeah you'll have no time to spend with

677
00:30:46,560 --> 00:30:49,040
Speaker 2: a kid during the week until you're looking after him all,

678
00:30:49,080 --> 00:30:50,160
Speaker 2: weekend which is not.

679
00:30:50,320 --> 00:30:52,560
Speaker 3: Right and, ALSO i, MEAN i think people brought up

680
00:30:52,600 --> 00:30:55,840
Speaker 3: a good point of when you have that much on your,

681
00:30:55,840 --> 00:30:59,560
Speaker 3: plate it is very hard to be there for your

682
00:30:59,680 --> 00:31:01,520
Speaker 3: child in like a play.

683
00:31:01,560 --> 00:31:06,200
Speaker 2: Sense she refused this, solution turning me into AN atm

684
00:31:06,280 --> 00:31:09,360
Speaker 2: and domestic help, instead to everyone SAYING i should have

685
00:31:09,400 --> 00:31:12,320
Speaker 2: given her more. Time each phase of childhood only stays

686
00:31:12,360 --> 00:31:15,720
Speaker 2: for a little WHILE i missed over a year of

687
00:31:15,760 --> 00:31:19,800
Speaker 2: my child's, life big, moments, smiles and phases due to this.

688
00:31:19,920 --> 00:31:22,760
Speaker 1: Arrangement so not only this guy did this for a.

689
00:31:22,880 --> 00:31:26,400
Speaker 3: Year it sounds, like, YEAH i, know they said six,

690
00:31:26,440 --> 00:31:28,920
Speaker 3: months where she was not working and taking care of the.

691
00:31:28,960 --> 00:31:31,400
Speaker 2: Kid, well that was like maternity, eve. RIGHT i assume

692
00:31:31,880 --> 00:31:36,080
Speaker 2: my wife did not care or. Sympathize it was simply

693
00:31:36,160 --> 00:31:38,720
Speaker 2: my duty to provide for her and her right to

694
00:31:38,760 --> 00:31:41,960
Speaker 2: stay at home with our. Child, FURTHERMORE i was responsible

695
00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:44,600
Speaker 2: for fending for myself when it came to, food washing

696
00:31:44,600 --> 00:31:48,000
Speaker 2: dishes and cooking dinner and clean up every, day and

697
00:31:48,320 --> 00:31:50,600
Speaker 2: on my only day, off the only DAY i could

698
00:31:50,640 --> 00:31:53,200
Speaker 2: possibly spend with my, CHILD i had to clean the,

699
00:31:53,240 --> 00:31:55,720
Speaker 2: house cook all the, meals meal prep for the, week

700
00:31:55,960 --> 00:31:59,600
Speaker 2: do laundrym of, lawn et. CETERA i only got time

701
00:31:59,640 --> 00:32:02,920
Speaker 2: with baby for about six, hours a maximum of twelve

702
00:32:02,960 --> 00:32:06,280
Speaker 2: hours every. WEEK i was working over eighty hours a

703
00:32:06,280 --> 00:32:09,560
Speaker 2: week at the office and another twenty eight hours doing.

704
00:32:09,600 --> 00:32:13,560
Speaker 3: HOUSEWORK i didn't realize, that, like she brought up this

705
00:32:13,680 --> 00:32:17,960
Speaker 3: arrangement and he'd already been linked doing just. THAT i

706
00:32:18,000 --> 00:32:21,280
Speaker 3: thought originally in that six month, period she was kind

707
00:32:21,320 --> 00:32:24,320
Speaker 3: of helping, out, cooking you, know taking care of the.

708
00:32:24,360 --> 00:32:26,239
Speaker 3: Baby it was a little bit more, equal and then

709
00:32:26,320 --> 00:32:29,920
Speaker 3: she said let's do this super crazy. Thing but it

710
00:32:29,920 --> 00:32:33,040
Speaker 3: seems like the six months was what she wanted to continue.

711
00:32:33,120 --> 00:32:34,479
Speaker 3: Doing that's just what that sounds.

712
00:32:34,480 --> 00:32:37,160
Speaker 2: Like WHEN i realized she would not listen to me at,

713
00:32:37,240 --> 00:32:39,960
Speaker 2: all AND i did not want to miss years of

714
00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:42,120
Speaker 2: my child's, LIFE i filed for.

715
00:32:42,280 --> 00:32:45,400
Speaker 1: Divorce so it does seem very last. Resort so he,

716
00:32:45,440 --> 00:32:47,800
Speaker 1: did he. Tried he's, like all, right she'll, stop she'll,

717
00:32:47,840 --> 00:32:50,880
Speaker 1: stop she'll. Change never. Changed he's, LIKE i can't do it.

718
00:32:50,880 --> 00:32:52,040
Speaker 1: Anymore we do it a little bit.

719
00:32:52,040 --> 00:32:54,240
Speaker 2: More. STORY i think we've kind of discussed. IT i

720
00:32:54,280 --> 00:32:56,200
Speaker 2: think we were on the same page over, Here so

721
00:32:56,320 --> 00:32:58,240
Speaker 2: why don't you just finish it? Off to everyone Saying

722
00:32:58,280 --> 00:33:01,080
Speaker 2: i'm taking advantage of my, MOTHER i do not know

723
00:33:01,160 --> 00:33:03,640
Speaker 2: how your family, is but my parents love my. CHILD

724
00:33:04,160 --> 00:33:07,240
Speaker 2: i am my parent's only child and my kid their only.

725
00:33:07,280 --> 00:33:10,640
Speaker 2: Grandkid to those who Say i'm hurting my child bringing in,

726
00:33:10,880 --> 00:33:14,280
Speaker 2: unknowns my child is having a great time being pampered

727
00:33:14,280 --> 00:33:17,520
Speaker 2: by my mom and loves the time spent with. Me

728
00:33:17,920 --> 00:33:20,560
Speaker 2: to people who are asking WHAT i one time with my,

729
00:33:20,720 --> 00:33:24,560
Speaker 2: child memories with my, child a relationship with my child

730
00:33:24,640 --> 00:33:27,320
Speaker 2: rather than just being AN. Atm and to people who

731
00:33:27,360 --> 00:33:30,440
Speaker 2: SAY i never loved my. WIFE i did UNTIL i

732
00:33:30,520 --> 00:33:33,440
Speaker 2: realized she did not love or care about, me that

733
00:33:33,520 --> 00:33:36,600
Speaker 2: she only cared about what she needed and wanted and

734
00:33:36,600 --> 00:33:39,520
Speaker 2: treated me like AN atm and a. Slave it was

735
00:33:39,560 --> 00:33:42,719
Speaker 2: heartbreaking to, realize but it was not a RELATIONSHIP i

736
00:33:42,800 --> 00:33:45,680
Speaker 2: wanted to continue. With she took away my time with

737
00:33:45,720 --> 00:33:48,520
Speaker 2: my child and that is not SOMETHING i can forgive.

738
00:33:48,560 --> 00:33:51,040
Speaker 1: EASILY i would rather be a present dad with my.

739
00:33:51,160 --> 00:33:52,000
Speaker 1: Child and we have some.

740
00:33:52,040 --> 00:33:54,560
Speaker 2: COMMENTS i think that is fair that like something a

741
00:33:54,560 --> 00:33:56,479
Speaker 2: lot of people would have just overlook, about like a

742
00:33:56,520 --> 00:33:59,840
Speaker 2: father in any context of like being a parent is

743
00:33:59,840 --> 00:34:00,280
Speaker 2: A he's.

744
00:34:00,200 --> 00:34:03,160
Speaker 1: Like, YEAH i actually would like to be there for my.

745
00:34:03,240 --> 00:34:06,680
Speaker 3: Kid, well, YEAH i think there's this standing stereotype that

746
00:34:06,880 --> 00:34:09,920
Speaker 3: dad's work and they don't really want to parent and

747
00:34:09,920 --> 00:34:12,319
Speaker 3: they're like kind of the babies that Are it's, like,

748
00:34:12,360 --> 00:34:16,200
Speaker 3: no your, father that's your. Child if you're a, parent

749
00:34:16,520 --> 00:34:19,359
Speaker 3: you should know and want to take care of your

750
00:34:19,480 --> 00:34:22,080
Speaker 3: child's or know how to you, know which he.

751
00:34:22,120 --> 00:34:24,120
Speaker 1: Does kim Reads reddit, says not the.

752
00:34:24,200 --> 00:34:26,840
Speaker 2: AHOLE i have no idea how people think you're the,

753
00:34:26,880 --> 00:34:29,040
Speaker 2: ahle even BEFORE i read your update at the.

754
00:34:29,040 --> 00:34:31,480
Speaker 1: Bottom and to be, TRANSPARENT i am a.

755
00:34:31,520 --> 00:34:34,480
Speaker 2: Mom my husband is a, wonderful gracious, man and he

756
00:34:34,560 --> 00:34:36,719
Speaker 2: allowed me to take six months off of work after

757
00:34:36,760 --> 00:34:39,440
Speaker 2: my son was a year and a half old because

758
00:34:39,600 --> 00:34:42,560
Speaker 2: of a medical condition that occurred because of the. Pregnancy

759
00:34:42,640 --> 00:34:44,719
Speaker 2: even though money would be, tight and he let me

760
00:34:44,800 --> 00:34:48,239
Speaker 2: keep sending our kiddo to. Daycare he was toddling at this,

761
00:34:48,400 --> 00:34:50,120
Speaker 2: Point no WAY i could keep up with him all.

762
00:34:50,200 --> 00:34:53,440
Speaker 2: Day BUT i still contributed to the household chores and

763
00:34:53,520 --> 00:34:56,160
Speaker 2: tried to make his life. Easier and it was a joint.

764
00:34:56,160 --> 00:34:59,279
Speaker 2: DECISION i didn't go behind his, back essentially and take

765
00:34:59,320 --> 00:35:02,000
Speaker 2: the time off for regardless of what he, said your

766
00:35:02,080 --> 00:35:04,919
Speaker 2: ex wife deliberately decided that she didn't want to work

767
00:35:05,080 --> 00:35:07,640
Speaker 2: and that you could take on all the extra, stress

768
00:35:08,080 --> 00:35:10,160
Speaker 2: and she wanted you to make it on the weekends and.

769
00:35:10,200 --> 00:35:14,040
Speaker 2: Evenings oh, no, no, no people calling you the ale

770
00:35:14,120 --> 00:35:16,520
Speaker 2: need to reverse. This if the ope he was a

771
00:35:16,520 --> 00:35:19,000
Speaker 2: woman and the ex demanding to stay at home was a,

772
00:35:19,040 --> 00:35:21,880
Speaker 2: man none of y'all would be okay with this. Situation

773
00:35:22,320 --> 00:35:24,400
Speaker 2: your ex had a responsibility to tell you if her

774
00:35:24,440 --> 00:35:26,960
Speaker 2: plan was to be stay at. Home if it wasn't

775
00:35:27,040 --> 00:35:29,399
Speaker 2: and that, changed then the stay at home role needed

776
00:35:29,440 --> 00:35:32,760
Speaker 2: to be a joint. Decision while we were, dating probably

777
00:35:32,800 --> 00:35:35,520
Speaker 2: within the first, month my husband told me his dream

778
00:35:35,600 --> 00:35:38,200
Speaker 2: job would be a house. Husband he wasn't super into.

779
00:35:38,280 --> 00:35:42,400
Speaker 2: KIDS i hate, housework and it turns out he's pretty

780
00:35:42,400 --> 00:35:44,440
Speaker 2: good at that. Stuff so IF i ever get to

781
00:35:44,440 --> 00:35:46,880
Speaker 2: the point where we can make it on my, salary

782
00:35:47,200 --> 00:35:50,120
Speaker 2: he will definitely become stay at home.

783
00:35:50,200 --> 00:35:53,680
Speaker 1: Dad but it is a joint. Decision you did nothing.

784
00:35:53,680 --> 00:35:56,640
Speaker 2: Wrong you gave her, Options you had sound reasoning for

785
00:35:56,680 --> 00:36:00,160
Speaker 2: not wanting to work extra. Hours many mothers would be

786
00:36:00,360 --> 00:36:02,799
Speaker 2: overjoyed to have the father of their child be so

787
00:36:02,960 --> 00:36:06,200
Speaker 2: interested in their. Kid you gave her opportunities to, change

788
00:36:06,320 --> 00:36:06,879
Speaker 2: and it's on.

789
00:36:06,960 --> 00:36:07,480
Speaker 1: Her that she.

790
00:36:07,560 --> 00:36:10,920
Speaker 2: Didn't i'm sorry it didn't work, out but hopefully someone

791
00:36:11,000 --> 00:36:12,000
Speaker 2: better will head your.

792
00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:14,399
Speaker 1: Way, hey It's, sam your og. Host. Here we're gonna

793
00:36:14,400 --> 00:36:15,960
Speaker 1: get back to the, stories but here's three minutes of

794
00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:16,480
Speaker 1: ads from our.

795
00:36:16,480 --> 00:36:19,319
Speaker 3: SPONSORS i resent my wife for being a stay at

796
00:36:19,320 --> 00:36:21,200
Speaker 3: home mom now THAT i got.

797
00:36:21,239 --> 00:36:26,279
Speaker 1: Promoted, ooh that sounds a little. Messy my, Wife, sarah.

798
00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:28,120
Speaker 3: AND i have been married for seven, years and we

799
00:36:28,200 --> 00:36:30,239
Speaker 3: have been together for a total of. TEN i was

800
00:36:30,320 --> 00:36:33,400
Speaker 3: raised in a very traditional and religious household and was

801
00:36:33,400 --> 00:36:36,040
Speaker 3: brought up believing that men are the breadwinners and women

802
00:36:36,080 --> 00:36:39,280
Speaker 3: should stay at home with the. Kids sarah was raised

803
00:36:39,280 --> 00:36:42,600
Speaker 3: in an equally religious household and had similar views AS i.

804
00:36:42,680 --> 00:36:45,640
Speaker 3: Did by the, way this comes from throw A mistake

805
00:36:45,719 --> 00:36:47,319
Speaker 3: and if you want to submit your own, stories go

806
00:36:47,360 --> 00:36:50,400
Speaker 3: to the rs Slash okay Storytime separate It so after,

807
00:36:50,480 --> 00:36:53,120
Speaker 3: COLLEGE i got a job doing financial work for a

808
00:36:53,200 --> 00:36:56,040
Speaker 3: large company and moved to a different. CITY i didn't

809
00:36:56,040 --> 00:36:58,600
Speaker 3: know anyone in the area and decided that attending one

810
00:36:58,600 --> 00:37:00,720
Speaker 3: of the local churches would help me meet new. People

811
00:37:00,920 --> 00:37:03,160
Speaker 3: sarah was one of the church, members AND i fell

812
00:37:03,200 --> 00:37:05,719
Speaker 3: ahead over heels for. Her she's one of the most

813
00:37:05,760 --> 00:37:09,040
Speaker 3: beautiful Women i've ever laid eyes, on and she's also

814
00:37:09,080 --> 00:37:12,360
Speaker 3: extremely kind and. Caring after a year of, DATING i

815
00:37:12,480 --> 00:37:15,120
Speaker 3: proposed to her and we were married after a two year.

816
00:37:15,160 --> 00:37:19,400
Speaker 3: Engagement after the, Wedding sarah finished her degree and started

817
00:37:19,400 --> 00:37:21,960
Speaker 3: talking about having. CHILDREN i asked her to wait a

818
00:37:21,960 --> 00:37:24,560
Speaker 3: few years UNTIL i started earning enough, money and she.

819
00:37:24,680 --> 00:37:27,160
Speaker 3: Agreed kids went on the back burner for a, while

820
00:37:27,239 --> 00:37:30,080
Speaker 3: And sarah dedicated herself to creating a home for us

821
00:37:30,120 --> 00:37:32,480
Speaker 3: WHILE i went to. WORK a few years passed AND

822
00:37:32,560 --> 00:37:36,239
Speaker 3: i finally got the promotion at. Work sarah was ecstatic

823
00:37:36,760 --> 00:37:38,640
Speaker 3: and we both agreed that we could have the. Baby

824
00:37:39,239 --> 00:37:42,560
Speaker 3: sarah AND i tried for only two months before she became. Pregnant,

825
00:37:42,760 --> 00:37:47,040
Speaker 3: dang she was, Thrilled but my happiness was mixed with

826
00:37:47,080 --> 00:37:51,680
Speaker 3: a bit of apprehension and. Nervousness, yeah that's pretty run

827
00:37:51,800 --> 00:37:56,680
Speaker 3: of the, mill pretty, standard standard feelings when having your first. Child,

828
00:37:56,880 --> 00:37:59,640
Speaker 3: oh he's, like you'll be shocked by. THIS i didn't

829
00:37:59,640 --> 00:38:01,480
Speaker 3: know IF I i could handle taking care of another,

830
00:38:01,560 --> 00:38:04,200
Speaker 3: human and it was. SCARY i decided to suck it

831
00:38:04,280 --> 00:38:06,319
Speaker 3: up and put on the brave face For sarah's. Sake

832
00:38:06,440 --> 00:38:09,360
Speaker 3: our son was, born And sarah devoted herself to caring for.

833
00:38:09,440 --> 00:38:12,680
Speaker 3: Him BECAUSE i had been, PROMOTED i started spending less

834
00:38:12,800 --> 00:38:15,319
Speaker 3: and less time at. Home the job was demanding AND

835
00:38:15,400 --> 00:38:18,040
Speaker 3: i was working seventy plus hour. WEEKS i had to

836
00:38:18,040 --> 00:38:20,840
Speaker 3: wake up earlier and, earlier While sarah stayed in bed and.

837
00:38:20,920 --> 00:38:24,120
Speaker 3: Slept WHEN i came, Home sarah always looked relaxed and

838
00:38:24,200 --> 00:38:26,680
Speaker 3: happy playing with the. BABY i know THAT i was

839
00:38:26,719 --> 00:38:30,840
Speaker 3: being irrationally, jealous BUT i started to Resent. Sarah taking

840
00:38:30,880 --> 00:38:33,120
Speaker 3: care of the baby seems so much easier than my,

841
00:38:33,280 --> 00:38:36,520
Speaker 3: job AND i hated how all the financial responsibility fell

842
00:38:36,600 --> 00:38:39,840
Speaker 3: back on. Me it has been two, years IT'S i

843
00:38:39,920 --> 00:38:43,120
Speaker 3: started feeling this, resentment AND i started going to a,

844
00:38:43,160 --> 00:38:45,799
Speaker 3: therapist but it's not. HELPING i hate coming home every

845
00:38:45,880 --> 00:38:48,279
Speaker 3: day and trying to speak With. Sarah she's never had

846
00:38:48,280 --> 00:38:50,879
Speaker 3: a job and does not understand how STRESSED i am from.

847
00:38:50,920 --> 00:38:54,000
Speaker 3: Working it's Like i'm speaking to a child WHENEVER i

848
00:38:54,080 --> 00:38:58,160
Speaker 3: try to discuss anything like finances or any topic more

849
00:38:58,160 --> 00:39:00,560
Speaker 3: in depth than what is taught in high. SCHOOL i

850
00:39:00,560 --> 00:39:02,479
Speaker 3: don't want to be married to someone who doesn't feel

851
00:39:02,520 --> 00:39:05,000
Speaker 3: like my. EQUAL i know this Isn't sarah's, fault BUT

852
00:39:05,040 --> 00:39:07,080
Speaker 3: i feel Like i'm trapped AND i just want. Out

853
00:39:07,320 --> 00:39:11,000
Speaker 3: Comments kathleen, says keep up the counseling and add couples.

854
00:39:11,000 --> 00:39:15,680
Speaker 3: Counseling you two of communication and expectation. Issues you originally

855
00:39:15,760 --> 00:39:18,520
Speaker 3: agreed to her never. Working you are changing the game.

856
00:39:18,560 --> 00:39:21,160
Speaker 3: Now why didn't she work before you two decided to

857
00:39:21,200 --> 00:39:23,920
Speaker 3: have a. Child you write like you agreed on that

858
00:39:24,200 --> 00:39:26,200
Speaker 3: you should probably get a vasectomy so you don't have

859
00:39:26,239 --> 00:39:28,319
Speaker 3: any more, children just in, case, whoa, whoa.

860
00:39:28,320 --> 00:39:31,160
Speaker 1: Whoa let's have a conversation. Again not something to do

861
00:39:31,200 --> 00:39:32,799
Speaker 1: in a. Vacuum taking care of.

862
00:39:32,760 --> 00:39:35,239
Speaker 3: A house and child is not. Easy you can pay

863
00:39:35,280 --> 00:39:37,960
Speaker 3: twenty dollars per hour for a main more for the,

864
00:39:37,960 --> 00:39:39,920
Speaker 3: cook AND i don't know how much for a nanny

865
00:39:39,920 --> 00:39:42,160
Speaker 3: while your wife, works so you can come home to

866
00:39:42,239 --> 00:39:46,200
Speaker 3: an irritable, spouse a cranky, baby and someone who doesn't

867
00:39:46,200 --> 00:39:48,160
Speaker 3: want to hear about your. Day for some, folks you

868
00:39:48,200 --> 00:39:50,480
Speaker 3: are living the. Dream you get to come home to

869
00:39:50,520 --> 00:39:53,440
Speaker 3: a clean and happy. House your child is being raised

870
00:39:53,440 --> 00:39:56,120
Speaker 3: by a primary. Parent you don't have to worry about

871
00:39:56,160 --> 00:39:59,280
Speaker 3: your wife cheating on, you or doing substances or child

872
00:39:59,360 --> 00:40:03,080
Speaker 3: or being a Finance she isn't dumping her daily woes on. You,

873
00:40:03,239 --> 00:40:06,040
Speaker 3: instead she is taking care of, things getting the furnace,

874
00:40:06,080 --> 00:40:09,920
Speaker 3: fixed waiting for the, plumber painting the spare, room decorating

875
00:40:09,920 --> 00:40:12,799
Speaker 3: for the, holidays making good, food et. Cetera and you

876
00:40:12,840 --> 00:40:15,480
Speaker 3: resent that you may need a different, counselor but keep.

877
00:40:15,520 --> 00:40:18,360
Speaker 3: Trying here are some other things that can help hit the,

878
00:40:18,440 --> 00:40:21,840
Speaker 3: gym get those endorphins, flowing learn something, new take a

879
00:40:21,920 --> 00:40:24,560
Speaker 3: parenting class or. Two teach your child to write a

880
00:40:24,600 --> 00:40:27,759
Speaker 3: tricycle or fly a. Kite talk to your wife is

881
00:40:27,840 --> 00:40:31,319
Speaker 3: the main. Suggestion all of those could, Work BUT i, think,

882
00:40:31,560 --> 00:40:34,239
Speaker 3: oh he is valid and feeling like he wants to

883
00:40:34,239 --> 00:40:36,480
Speaker 3: have more time with his. Kid he just needs to

884
00:40:36,480 --> 00:40:39,200
Speaker 3: bring it, up because, yes he is changing you know

885
00:40:39,520 --> 00:40:40,080
Speaker 3: what they agreed.

886
00:40:40,120 --> 00:40:41,200
Speaker 1: Upon, well it's.

887
00:40:41,040 --> 00:40:43,960
Speaker 2: Like imagine Like sissyphus agrees to the boulder and then,

888
00:40:44,000 --> 00:40:45,640
Speaker 2: like you, know after a, year he's, like DO.

889
00:40:45,680 --> 00:40:48,279
Speaker 1: I have to really keep pushing the boulder for the

890
00:40:48,320 --> 00:40:48,840
Speaker 1: rest of my?

891
00:40:48,960 --> 00:40:51,319
Speaker 3: Life which is the. Point you did change. It but

892
00:40:51,400 --> 00:40:53,400
Speaker 3: also you're allowed to change your. Mind you just have

893
00:40:53,480 --> 00:40:56,359
Speaker 3: to communicate that and then agree upon a new.

894
00:40:56,600 --> 00:41:00,560
Speaker 2: Boundary let's have, conversations let's be, vulnerable op he.

895
00:41:00,640 --> 00:41:03,400
Speaker 3: Says i'll try to suggest the couple's. Counseling and you're,

896
00:41:03,480 --> 00:41:05,480
Speaker 3: RIGHT i did agree to all of that in our.

897
00:41:05,480 --> 00:41:08,840
Speaker 3: Relationship that's WHY i feel like a huge hypocrite BECAUSE

898
00:41:08,880 --> 00:41:12,520
Speaker 3: i am being. Hypocritical NOW i know enough to realize,

899
00:41:12,560 --> 00:41:14,320
Speaker 3: that BUT i don't know WHAT i could do to fix.

900
00:41:14,360 --> 00:41:16,719
Speaker 3: It we do have a may that comes by once a,

901
00:41:16,800 --> 00:41:19,040
Speaker 3: week and, HONESTLY i would trade the clean house for

902
00:41:19,080 --> 00:41:21,120
Speaker 3: a wife that can hold a conversation with me about

903
00:41:21,160 --> 00:41:24,120
Speaker 3: anything other than REALITY tv or what happened in.

904
00:41:24,280 --> 00:41:26,120
Speaker 1: Church, wait didn't she go to?

905
00:41:26,160 --> 00:41:29,080
Speaker 2: School because he said something about going back to finish

906
00:41:29,080 --> 00:41:29,960
Speaker 2: her degree or.

907
00:41:30,000 --> 00:41:31,480
Speaker 1: SOMETHING i feel like she did go to.

908
00:41:31,480 --> 00:41:35,920
Speaker 3: COLLEGE i will, SAY i think the problem kind of

909
00:41:36,080 --> 00:41:38,960
Speaker 3: is deeper than JUST i want to have more time

910
00:41:38,960 --> 00:41:40,560
Speaker 3: with a. KID i don't want to work full time

911
00:41:40,600 --> 00:41:42,480
Speaker 3: and she gets to take care of the. KID i

912
00:41:42,480 --> 00:41:44,759
Speaker 3: don't think he's able to connect to, her and that

913
00:41:44,920 --> 00:41:47,799
Speaker 3: is an. Issue and sometimes it is not a fixable

914
00:41:47,880 --> 00:41:51,080
Speaker 3: issue because it's just you guys are fundamentally different people

915
00:41:51,160 --> 00:41:53,840
Speaker 3: and care about different. Things but don't jump to. That

916
00:41:53,880 --> 00:41:56,120
Speaker 3: don't jump to it's not. Foxible let's see if it

917
00:41:56,160 --> 00:41:57,000
Speaker 3: is before.

918
00:41:56,840 --> 00:41:59,200
Speaker 2: You'd liked your wife for the stuff that she is right? Now,

919
00:41:59,280 --> 00:42:01,560
Speaker 2: RIGHT i, MEAN i didn't say that with the smartest.

920
00:42:01,640 --> 00:42:04,520
Speaker 2: WORKS i, wonder and, again this might not be.

921
00:42:04,560 --> 00:42:08,160
Speaker 3: TRUE i wonder if he liked her because she fit

922
00:42:08,280 --> 00:42:11,280
Speaker 3: into his idea of what a wife should be because

923
00:42:11,400 --> 00:42:13,719
Speaker 3: of his. Upbringing that it might not be. True and,

924
00:42:13,800 --> 00:42:17,400
Speaker 3: yes he, CONTINUES i resent. IT i don't know WHY i,

925
00:42:17,440 --> 00:42:19,839
Speaker 3: do BUT i. DO i don't want to feel this.

926
00:42:19,880 --> 00:42:22,560
Speaker 3: Way delete it. SAYS i have a friend WHO i

927
00:42:22,560 --> 00:42:24,959
Speaker 3: went to school, with both to business school and after

928
00:42:25,320 --> 00:42:28,440
Speaker 3: lived as roommates together post. College but he moved. On

929
00:42:28,800 --> 00:42:31,160
Speaker 3: makes three times the AMOUNT i, do which is impressive

930
00:42:31,200 --> 00:42:33,799
Speaker 3: for anyone his age and, education and he has no

931
00:42:33,960 --> 00:42:35,920
Speaker 3: time with his wife or kids except one day a.

932
00:42:35,960 --> 00:42:38,879
Speaker 3: Week he has no friends. ANYMORE, i on the other,

933
00:42:38,960 --> 00:42:40,920
Speaker 3: end work hard at my job for my eight to

934
00:42:41,040 --> 00:42:43,960
Speaker 3: nine hours a, day come home and it's. Gone It's

935
00:42:44,080 --> 00:42:47,040
Speaker 3: i'm not worried about work, ever and it's. GREAT i

936
00:42:47,200 --> 00:42:49,520
Speaker 3: like my. JOB i love my own. Life and there

937
00:42:49,640 --> 00:42:52,560
Speaker 3: is an update two months. Later, again my advice is

938
00:42:52,640 --> 00:42:53,160
Speaker 3: talk to your.

939
00:42:53,200 --> 00:42:55,480
Speaker 2: WIFE i work a full time job AND i make

940
00:42:55,600 --> 00:42:58,239
Speaker 2: less money than that, guy but my life is so

941
00:42:58,360 --> 00:42:59,239
Speaker 2: much cooler than.

942
00:42:59,320 --> 00:43:01,279
Speaker 3: His, YEAH i feel like he was just LIKE i

943
00:43:01,400 --> 00:43:03,319
Speaker 3: work less than that guy who works more than, me

944
00:43:03,400 --> 00:43:05,040
Speaker 3: and it's. Great was that relevant to.

945
00:43:05,000 --> 00:43:06,640
Speaker 7: This, YEAH i just had to point that out really,

946
00:43:06,719 --> 00:43:09,640
Speaker 7: quick but it's. Okay update two months. LATER i made

947
00:43:09,640 --> 00:43:11,759
Speaker 7: this post a few weeks ago about the RESENTMENT i

948
00:43:11,800 --> 00:43:14,319
Speaker 7: started to feel towards my wife AFTER i had been

949
00:43:14,360 --> 00:43:16,600
Speaker 7: promoted at. WORK i just want to say thank you

950
00:43:16,600 --> 00:43:18,760
Speaker 7: all for the, advice AND i have a very happy

951
00:43:18,880 --> 00:43:21,160
Speaker 7: update for you. ALL i took a week to think

952
00:43:21,200 --> 00:43:23,680
Speaker 7: about the post and my own. FEELINGS i talked it

953
00:43:23,760 --> 00:43:26,360
Speaker 7: out in, therapy AND i came to the conclusion THAT

954
00:43:26,440 --> 00:43:28,360
Speaker 7: i could not keep working seventy hours a.

955
00:43:28,360 --> 00:43:32,080
Speaker 3: Week, yay you figured it. Out it was destroying my

956
00:43:32,160 --> 00:43:34,799
Speaker 3: relationship with my wife and. Son and it was also

957
00:43:34,920 --> 00:43:37,719
Speaker 3: destroying my. HAPPINESS i spoke to my boss and he

958
00:43:37,800 --> 00:43:40,239
Speaker 3: was very understanding and told me that there was enough

959
00:43:40,239 --> 00:43:41,799
Speaker 3: in the budget to hire an assistant for.

960
00:43:41,880 --> 00:43:41,960
Speaker 2: Me.

961
00:43:42,360 --> 00:43:46,000
Speaker 3: Nice my assistant started two weeks, ago and my workload

962
00:43:46,000 --> 00:43:47,520
Speaker 3: has been dramatically, reduced so.

963
00:43:47,440 --> 00:43:50,000
Speaker 1: They could have just done. That the whole, Time boss is, like, well.

964
00:43:49,760 --> 00:43:52,960
Speaker 3: What didn't you? Say SO i have been able to

965
00:43:53,000 --> 00:43:55,640
Speaker 3: work a normal forty hour, week AND i am now

966
00:43:55,680 --> 00:43:59,040
Speaker 3: finally coming home before six pm each. WEEKDAY i spoke

967
00:43:59,080 --> 00:44:01,360
Speaker 3: with my best friend about my, wife any knock some

968
00:44:01,600 --> 00:44:04,040
Speaker 3: sense into? Me he told me how jealous he and

969
00:44:04,040 --> 00:44:06,120
Speaker 3: the rest of our friends were over my, wife and

970
00:44:06,160 --> 00:44:08,319
Speaker 3: how LUCKY i was to be with a woman who

971
00:44:08,360 --> 00:44:12,919
Speaker 3: is a supermodel, attractive yet driven and kind and compassionate

972
00:44:13,000 --> 00:44:16,040
Speaker 3: like my. Wife later that, NIGHT i drank a bottle

973
00:44:16,040 --> 00:44:19,959
Speaker 3: of sketch and got suppy. Wasted oh, no my wife

974
00:44:19,960 --> 00:44:22,280
Speaker 3: found me puking in the, bathroom and in my wasted,

975
00:44:22,320 --> 00:44:25,239
Speaker 3: HAZE i confess to her EVERYTHING i was holding. Back

976
00:44:25,400 --> 00:44:26,240
Speaker 3: that's not how.

977
00:44:26,120 --> 00:44:27,160
Speaker 1: We do, that you know.

978
00:44:27,239 --> 00:44:29,120
Speaker 2: What in a, way it's kind of cute to me

979
00:44:29,360 --> 00:44:31,320
Speaker 2: because he's probably acting like a drunk.

980
00:44:31,360 --> 00:44:33,680
Speaker 3: BABY i told her about HOW i felt left out

981
00:44:33,760 --> 00:44:36,120
Speaker 3: BECAUSE i wasn't around for our. Son HOW i didn't

982
00:44:36,120 --> 00:44:38,279
Speaker 3: feel connected to her LIKE i wanted to be the

983
00:44:38,320 --> 00:44:41,600
Speaker 3: whole nine. Yards she held me and let me cry it,

984
00:44:41,680 --> 00:44:44,040
Speaker 3: out and she told me that she loved. Me it's

985
00:44:44,080 --> 00:44:46,560
Speaker 3: exactly what we just. Did there is a wee bit

986
00:44:46,640 --> 00:44:47,239
Speaker 3: left to this.

987
00:44:47,320 --> 00:44:50,279
Speaker 2: Story final, thoughts, like, WELL i think this, guy like

988
00:44:50,280 --> 00:44:51,719
Speaker 2: he said at the, beginning is kind of a victim

989
00:44:51,760 --> 00:44:54,920
Speaker 2: of his own traditional. Upbringing he was kind of trapped

990
00:44:55,239 --> 00:44:56,560
Speaker 2: feeling like he couldn't have said all this.

991
00:44:56,600 --> 00:45:00,000
Speaker 1: Stuff but see what happened when you. Did she, SAID

992
00:45:00,400 --> 00:45:01,080
Speaker 1: i love you.

993
00:45:01,400 --> 00:45:04,120
Speaker 3: Baby very, cute but there's a little bit. Left the

994
00:45:04,160 --> 00:45:06,360
Speaker 3: wife AND i are headed to couples, counseling but we

995
00:45:06,400 --> 00:45:08,960
Speaker 3: also sign up for cooking classes to build a common.

996
00:45:09,040 --> 00:45:11,439
Speaker 3: Hobby we love that BECAUSE i was still worried about,

997
00:45:11,440 --> 00:45:13,120
Speaker 3: that because it seems like they didn't have too much

998
00:45:13,120 --> 00:45:15,120
Speaker 3: in common at least at this stage in their, life

999
00:45:15,200 --> 00:45:17,399
Speaker 3: and it seems like they're, like let's figure that. Out

1000
00:45:17,480 --> 00:45:19,600
Speaker 3: she says that she will stay by me as long

1001
00:45:19,640 --> 00:45:22,080
Speaker 3: AS i stay by her no matter what. HAPPENS i

1002
00:45:22,160 --> 00:45:24,120
Speaker 3: love her and she loves, me AND i think we're

1003
00:45:24,120 --> 00:45:26,640
Speaker 3: gonna be. Okay one last detail THAT i can't think

1004
00:45:26,680 --> 00:45:29,439
Speaker 3: to put anywhere. Else all three of us are taking

1005
00:45:29,480 --> 00:45:32,319
Speaker 3: a month long vacation After christmas in order to have

1006
00:45:32,560 --> 00:45:35,600
Speaker 3: family bonding. Time wife AND i both agree that we

1007
00:45:35,680 --> 00:45:38,759
Speaker 3: need this. Vacation lordica, says good for, you and now

1008
00:45:38,840 --> 00:45:41,799
Speaker 3: keep it. Up don't do the, stoic suffering silence. Type

1009
00:45:41,880 --> 00:45:45,960
Speaker 3: yeah you did this two, years, dude two years when

1010
00:45:46,000 --> 00:45:49,239
Speaker 3: you could have solved it with one. Conversation trust your

1011
00:45:49,239 --> 00:45:51,800
Speaker 3: wife to listen and to care about your. PROBLEMS a

1012
00:45:51,840 --> 00:45:55,520
Speaker 3: stato mom can still be educated and. Sophisticated encourage her

1013
00:45:55,560 --> 00:45:59,480
Speaker 3: to grow intellectually with. You opie, says. Thanks my problem

1014
00:45:59,560 --> 00:46:02,120
Speaker 3: was THAT i but my prejudices cloud my view of my.

1015
00:46:02,160 --> 00:46:05,440
Speaker 3: Wife she studied hospitality, management AND i wasn't able to

1016
00:46:05,560 --> 00:46:08,080
Speaker 3: view her skills with the same respect AS i gave

1017
00:46:08,120 --> 00:46:11,560
Speaker 3: to math and. Finance i'm learning different techniques to rewire

1018
00:46:11,600 --> 00:46:14,520
Speaker 3: my brain into having a less conservative. VIEW i made

1019
00:46:14,560 --> 00:46:16,759
Speaker 3: a list of all the skills That sarah has and

1020
00:46:16,800 --> 00:46:19,080
Speaker 3: how they blow mine out of the. Water her skills

1021
00:46:19,080 --> 00:46:21,680
Speaker 3: aren't any less worthwhile than, mine they are simply.

1022
00:46:21,719 --> 00:46:25,400
Speaker 2: DIFFERENT cbt is helping cognitive behavioral therapy for those who

1023
00:46:25,440 --> 00:46:27,839
Speaker 2: don't know what that acronym is that's freaking. Awesome one

1024
00:46:27,840 --> 00:46:30,200
Speaker 2: of the best ENDINGS i Think i've ever had the

1025
00:46:30,239 --> 00:46:30,880
Speaker 2: pleasure of.

1026
00:46:30,920 --> 00:46:32,799
Speaker 1: EXPERIENCING i love it when there's a.

1027
00:46:32,760 --> 00:46:36,120
Speaker 3: Happy, ending a partners talk and then they figure out, that, oh,

1028
00:46:36,160 --> 00:46:37,160
Speaker 3: wow we could fix.

1029
00:46:37,200 --> 00:46:39,480
Speaker 2: This if you're a guy and you're, LIKE i can't

1030
00:46:39,520 --> 00:46:41,680
Speaker 2: talk about my feelings Because i'm a.

1031
00:46:41,840 --> 00:46:43,520
Speaker 1: Guy learn from this.

1032
00:46:43,760 --> 00:46:46,840
Speaker 2: Guy he was ready to literally blow up his whole

1033
00:46:46,920 --> 00:46:48,040
Speaker 2: life instead of just.

1034
00:46:48,320 --> 00:46:51,200
Speaker 3: Talking, Yeah and then he talked and everything was, better and.

1035
00:46:51,160 --> 00:46:54,720
Speaker 2: He, Said i'm sad, Baby i'm Whiskey scotch.

1036
00:46:54,800 --> 00:46:57,560
Speaker 1: Baby it's Johny ogost. Here we're gonna get back to the.

1037
00:46:57,560 --> 00:46:59,319
Speaker 1: Stories but he's a quick three minute break of ass

1038
00:46:59,360 --> 00:47:02,919
Speaker 1: form more. Sponsors my brother gave away my girlfriend's.

1039
00:47:03,080 --> 00:47:06,480
Speaker 3: Dog now as children have taken the, fall what do

1040
00:47:06,560 --> 00:47:08,840
Speaker 3: the kids have to do with? This back in twenty,

1041
00:47:08,960 --> 00:47:12,400
Speaker 3: nineteen right before the pandemic, STARTED i then twenty eight,

1042
00:47:12,480 --> 00:47:15,920
Speaker 3: female moved to a different country with my, girlfriend thirty

1043
00:47:15,920 --> 00:47:19,520
Speaker 3: female at the. Time we each had a dog who

1044
00:47:19,560 --> 00:47:22,920
Speaker 3: will Call sam And. Lily we brought my Dog sam

1045
00:47:23,640 --> 00:47:26,160
Speaker 3: with us to our new, country But, lily my girlfriend's,

1046
00:47:26,160 --> 00:47:28,720
Speaker 3: dog had to stay behind due to a rare medical.

1047
00:47:28,719 --> 00:47:31,359
Speaker 3: Condition our good friend had a dog of his own

1048
00:47:31,400 --> 00:47:34,440
Speaker 3: already and agreed to adopt as long as we continue

1049
00:47:34,480 --> 00:47:37,400
Speaker 3: to pay for her pricey. Medication by the, way this

1050
00:47:37,480 --> 00:47:42,400
Speaker 3: comes from the r Slash Charlotte Doe bray YouTube, subreddit

1051
00:47:42,880 --> 00:47:44,360
Speaker 3: and if you want to spit your own, stories go

1052
00:47:44,360 --> 00:47:47,160
Speaker 3: to the r Slash okay storytime supread. It So I'm,

1053
00:47:47,200 --> 00:47:48,080
Speaker 3: Sophia I'm.

1054
00:47:48,200 --> 00:47:50,319
Speaker 4: Riley oh you're not gonna skip out on me this.

1055
00:47:50,360 --> 00:47:52,239
Speaker 4: Time I'm, keon And op.

1056
00:47:52,400 --> 00:47:55,719
Speaker 3: Says about three months after we settled into our new,

1057
00:47:55,760 --> 00:47:58,480
Speaker 3: home we got a call from our friend in. Tears

1058
00:47:59,160 --> 00:48:02,279
Speaker 3: his dog had been seized by animal, welfare and when

1059
00:48:02,320 --> 00:48:05,040
Speaker 3: we asked to video call to See, lily we discovered

1060
00:48:05,080 --> 00:48:07,959
Speaker 3: she was in poor condition as. Well so this whole,

1061
00:48:07,960 --> 00:48:10,560
Speaker 3: time you're paying for these dogs to be taken care

1062
00:48:10,560 --> 00:48:12,640
Speaker 3: of and he's not even taking care of. Them the

1063
00:48:12,719 --> 00:48:15,440
Speaker 3: dog we saw in that video call barely resembled The

1064
00:48:15,440 --> 00:48:19,320
Speaker 3: lily we. Knew my girlfriend cried all. Night we immediately

1065
00:48:19,360 --> 00:48:22,160
Speaker 3: went into solution. Mode my mother happens to be dog

1066
00:48:22,200 --> 00:48:24,400
Speaker 3: crazy and lives in my home. Country she offered to

1067
00:48:24,400 --> 00:48:26,799
Speaker 3: pay over two thousand dollars for a last minute flight

1068
00:48:27,320 --> 00:48:28,640
Speaker 3: So lily could fly to her.

1069
00:48:28,800 --> 00:48:33,680
Speaker 7: Asap oh wow for yeah, wow that's all you guys

1070
00:48:33,760 --> 00:48:34,120
Speaker 7: love your.

1071
00:48:34,120 --> 00:48:34,359
Speaker 6: Dog.

1072
00:48:34,440 --> 00:48:38,640
Speaker 3: Yeah we booked the very next available flight and had

1073
00:48:38,640 --> 00:48:41,960
Speaker 3: an animal transport service go collect. Her the only catch

1074
00:48:42,040 --> 00:48:44,440
Speaker 3: was my mother had a trip book the same Weekend

1075
00:48:44,560 --> 00:48:47,759
Speaker 3: lily was meant to. Arrive lily Landed thursday and my

1076
00:48:47,840 --> 00:48:50,759
Speaker 3: mom would Return. Saturday so we asked my brother if

1077
00:48:50,760 --> 00:48:53,560
Speaker 3: he could Collect lily from the airport and watch her

1078
00:48:53,600 --> 00:48:55,759
Speaker 3: for two nights until my mom could pick her. Up

1079
00:48:56,160 --> 00:48:58,960
Speaker 3: at the, time my brother thirty One mail lived with

1080
00:48:59,040 --> 00:49:02,360
Speaker 3: his girlfriend thirty to female and her Dog joy in

1081
00:49:02,400 --> 00:49:05,440
Speaker 3: his girlfriend's small. Apartment since it was only for eight

1082
00:49:05,640 --> 00:49:09,160
Speaker 3: four forty eight, hours he. Agreed my brother let's call Him,

1083
00:49:09,200 --> 00:49:11,840
Speaker 3: brad went and Got lily and took her back to

1084
00:49:11,880 --> 00:49:15,200
Speaker 3: his girlfriend's. Place let's call Her. Maria joy And lily

1085
00:49:15,440 --> 00:49:19,280
Speaker 3: did not get, along And maria was not happy about

1086
00:49:19,280 --> 00:49:23,280
Speaker 3: having this dog in her, apartment causing chaos and fighting With. Joy.

1087
00:49:23,440 --> 00:49:26,640
Speaker 3: Dang at about five am my, TIME i got a

1088
00:49:26,640 --> 00:49:29,320
Speaker 3: call From brad telling me that they had Given lily.

1089
00:49:29,440 --> 00:49:32,120
Speaker 1: Away what how could they do that to, You?

1090
00:49:32,200 --> 00:49:35,520
Speaker 4: SOPHIE i, mean, okay.

1091
00:49:35,080 --> 00:49:35,680
Speaker 6: You don't even.

1092
00:49:35,800 --> 00:49:39,640
Speaker 8: Understand it seems like you don't how much trouble and

1093
00:49:39,680 --> 00:49:42,120
Speaker 8: how much effort people are trying to do to Help lily.

1094
00:49:42,200 --> 00:49:43,000
Speaker 6: Out, yeah and YOU i.

1095
00:49:43,040 --> 00:49:44,359
Speaker 1: Hear giving her giving her?

1096
00:49:44,400 --> 00:49:45,719
Speaker 3: Away just give her?

1097
00:49:45,880 --> 00:49:46,200
Speaker 1: Back?

1098
00:49:46,680 --> 00:49:47,279
Speaker 6: Yeah?

1099
00:49:47,760 --> 00:49:51,279
Speaker 3: What this Was, friday so they had her for less

1100
00:49:51,280 --> 00:49:52,440
Speaker 3: than twenty four.

1101
00:49:52,600 --> 00:49:54,760
Speaker 1: Hours that's, wild.

1102
00:49:55,040 --> 00:49:57,400
Speaker 3: And only had to keep her until the following, day

1103
00:49:57,680 --> 00:50:00,120
Speaker 3: but it elected instead to give her for. Free are

1104
00:50:00,120 --> 00:50:02,640
Speaker 3: you to one of their? Friends what are you is?

1105
00:50:02,640 --> 00:50:03,880
Speaker 3: That can you like arrest?

1106
00:50:03,920 --> 00:50:04,680
Speaker 1: Them is that like?

1107
00:50:04,920 --> 00:50:10,200
Speaker 8: Theft and then also one of the friends take like

1108
00:50:10,320 --> 00:50:12,399
Speaker 8: take a dog that seemingly wasn't doing?

1109
00:50:12,440 --> 00:50:14,560
Speaker 6: Okay? Yeah is it a special?

1110
00:50:14,600 --> 00:50:16,719
Speaker 1: Dog maybe they didn't. Know maybe they have.

1111
00:50:16,719 --> 00:50:19,839
Speaker 6: Some special juice or special eggs in? It what where

1112
00:50:19,840 --> 00:50:20,319
Speaker 6: you can breed?

1113
00:50:20,400 --> 00:50:20,520
Speaker 2: It?

1114
00:50:20,760 --> 00:50:22,520
Speaker 6: HUH i was trying to see the monsterry value in.

1115
00:50:22,560 --> 00:50:25,040
Speaker 4: This did you just say a dog as special eggs

1116
00:50:25,200 --> 00:50:26,040
Speaker 4: or and juice in?

1117
00:50:26,080 --> 00:50:28,200
Speaker 6: IT i mean that's what they, Do that's how they.

1118
00:50:28,280 --> 00:50:31,759
Speaker 1: Breed who are YOU i sense of? This this is?

1119
00:50:31,760 --> 00:50:34,200
Speaker 1: CRAZY i was in shot me.

1120
00:50:34,239 --> 00:50:36,640
Speaker 3: Too as he, explained they would never tell us who

1121
00:50:36,640 --> 00:50:40,240
Speaker 3: these friends. Are we'll never tell you who these friends.

1122
00:50:40,239 --> 00:50:43,360
Speaker 6: Are you know, what because they're the.

1123
00:50:43,400 --> 00:50:48,320
Speaker 3: Pound oh no where they lived or give us any contact?

1124
00:50:48,400 --> 00:50:52,000
Speaker 3: Information for. THEM i burst into, tears asking him. Why

1125
00:50:52,520 --> 00:50:54,640
Speaker 3: he told me we had given up all rights to

1126
00:50:54,719 --> 00:50:57,120
Speaker 3: her when we left her with that, friend so he

1127
00:50:57,239 --> 00:51:00,840
Speaker 3: blamed us for her, condition despite the fact that we'd

1128
00:51:00,880 --> 00:51:03,040
Speaker 3: moved mountains to get her to safety as quickly as.

1129
00:51:03,120 --> 00:51:06,319
Speaker 3: Possible brad told ME i was a terrible person who

1130
00:51:06,360 --> 00:51:09,440
Speaker 3: only cares about. Myself my girlfriend was the, same and

1131
00:51:09,520 --> 00:51:11,879
Speaker 3: he was surprised anyone could even love.

1132
00:51:11,960 --> 00:51:14,640
Speaker 8: Me, Jesus, okay how much hate in your heart do

1133
00:51:14,680 --> 00:51:16,840
Speaker 8: you have to give away someone's dog and then also

1134
00:51:16,880 --> 00:51:17,520
Speaker 8: say this about your?

1135
00:51:17,520 --> 00:51:17,800
Speaker 6: Sister?

1136
00:51:17,960 --> 00:51:21,799
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yikes what he actually said he was surprised that

1137
00:51:21,920 --> 00:51:25,040
Speaker 3: my Dog sam loved. Me he refused to budge on

1138
00:51:25,120 --> 00:51:27,880
Speaker 3: us Getting lily. Back SO i walked into our bedroom

1139
00:51:28,080 --> 00:51:32,040
Speaker 3: shaking and crying so HARD i was. Hyperventilating my girlfriend

1140
00:51:32,080 --> 00:51:34,560
Speaker 3: shot up in bed and immediately started asking what was.

1141
00:51:34,600 --> 00:51:37,040
Speaker 3: WRONG i wondered HOW i could tell her that her

1142
00:51:37,080 --> 00:51:39,520
Speaker 3: dog was gone and she would never see her, again

1143
00:51:39,880 --> 00:51:41,880
Speaker 3: and it was all my fault for intrusting her to my.

1144
00:51:41,920 --> 00:51:46,600
Speaker 3: Family oh, dude, Somehow oh. WOW i managed to shakelely

1145
00:51:46,640 --> 00:51:48,320
Speaker 3: get it, out and then we were both.

1146
00:51:48,480 --> 00:51:51,960
Speaker 6: Crying oh, dude how can you even have that.

1147
00:51:52,040 --> 00:51:56,399
Speaker 3: CONVERSATION i, mean, yeah that's so. Hard be, Like i'm,

1148
00:51:56,440 --> 00:51:57,960
Speaker 3: sorry my brother stole your.

1149
00:51:58,000 --> 00:52:00,839
Speaker 6: Dog my brother gave a, way my.

1150
00:52:00,840 --> 00:52:05,000
Speaker 3: Brother gave away your, dog AND i don't know where she.

1151
00:52:05,239 --> 00:52:07,520
Speaker 6: Is, insane, insane.

1152
00:52:07,560 --> 00:52:11,640
Speaker 3: Insane, now my girlfriend And brad had an amazing. Relationship

1153
00:52:11,800 --> 00:52:14,040
Speaker 3: he legit called her the favorite when she answered the,

1154
00:52:14,040 --> 00:52:17,520
Speaker 3: phone as in his favorite. Sister they laughed and joked

1155
00:52:17,520 --> 00:52:20,120
Speaker 3: and even went on trips together without. Me he never

1156
00:52:20,280 --> 00:52:22,760
Speaker 3: got along with one of my partners like that. Before

1157
00:52:23,160 --> 00:52:25,279
Speaker 3: so we called him back together and put him on.

1158
00:52:25,360 --> 00:52:30,240
Speaker 3: Speakerphone my girlfriend was begging and pleading with, him asking

1159
00:52:30,400 --> 00:52:33,120
Speaker 3: why he did this and please tell her Where lily.

1160
00:52:33,360 --> 00:52:36,000
Speaker 3: Was we even said that if she's happy in this,

1161
00:52:36,080 --> 00:52:38,879
Speaker 3: home that's, fine she can stay. There we just need

1162
00:52:38,920 --> 00:52:40,960
Speaker 3: to have their contact infote so we can keep in

1163
00:52:41,000 --> 00:52:44,200
Speaker 3: touch and know what she's. Doing but, No, brad now

1164
00:52:44,280 --> 00:52:47,120
Speaker 3: joined By maria on, speakerphone just tore both of us.

1165
00:52:47,160 --> 00:52:53,520
Speaker 8: Apart, question Was brad With maria whenever your, Girlfriend opie

1166
00:52:54,360 --> 00:52:57,399
Speaker 8: And brad hung out like it seems Like maria may

1167
00:52:57,440 --> 00:52:59,800
Speaker 8: have something Against opie's Girlfriend.

1168
00:53:00,040 --> 00:53:01,359
Speaker 1: Bay, yeah maybe we're.

1169
00:53:01,719 --> 00:53:04,359
Speaker 6: Jealous, yeah because Maybe maria is her?

1170
00:53:04,400 --> 00:53:04,560
Speaker 2: Name?

1171
00:53:04,680 --> 00:53:07,279
Speaker 8: Maria, yeah Maybe maria wasn't in the, picture and now

1172
00:53:07,280 --> 00:53:09,160
Speaker 8: all of a, sudden why are you taking care of

1173
00:53:10,040 --> 00:53:10,640
Speaker 8: that girl's?

1174
00:53:10,680 --> 00:53:12,480
Speaker 6: Dog why are you doing These she still like. Her you,

1175
00:53:12,480 --> 00:53:13,839
Speaker 6: guys we went on multiple trips alone.

1176
00:53:13,840 --> 00:53:18,720
Speaker 3: Together that could be that's a, good good conspiracy. Theory

1177
00:53:19,160 --> 00:53:21,640
Speaker 3: they called us horrible dog owners for leaving her with my,

1178
00:53:21,680 --> 00:53:24,160
Speaker 3: friend saying this made us not worthy of knowing what

1179
00:53:24,239 --> 00:53:26,440
Speaker 3: happened to her. Now they didn't want me to have

1180
00:53:26,480 --> 00:53:29,319
Speaker 3: contact with the new family because of, all because ALL

1181
00:53:29,360 --> 00:53:31,880
Speaker 3: i have is, drama and they didn't want my drama

1182
00:53:31,920 --> 00:53:35,200
Speaker 3: to affect their. Friends they, Said i'm a loser and

1183
00:53:35,320 --> 00:53:38,000
Speaker 3: my job is a. Joke they mockingly said the name

1184
00:53:38,000 --> 00:53:40,160
Speaker 3: of the INDUSTRY i work, in over and over. Again

1185
00:53:40,760 --> 00:53:43,440
Speaker 3: my choice to live overseas is a pipe, dream AND

1186
00:53:43,520 --> 00:53:46,839
Speaker 3: i need a wake up and be a real. Adult you're.

1187
00:53:46,960 --> 00:53:49,759
Speaker 3: Disgusting this one stuck with me the most because they

1188
00:53:49,840 --> 00:53:52,600
Speaker 3: kept screaming it again and. Again throughout the. CONVERSATION i

1189
00:53:52,640 --> 00:53:54,600
Speaker 3: could Hear maria on the other side of the room

1190
00:53:55,080 --> 00:53:57,719
Speaker 3: screaming it at the. Phone you are. Disgusting you are.

1191
00:53:57,800 --> 00:53:59,960
Speaker 3: Disgusting she's having a mental.

1192
00:54:00,000 --> 00:54:03,560
Speaker 6: Breakdown she does not like your girlfriend would.

1193
00:54:03,560 --> 00:54:06,680
Speaker 3: Be he was surprised my dog or my girlfriend even

1194
00:54:06,760 --> 00:54:10,440
Speaker 3: loved me Because i'm such a, cold empty, hearted, manipulative

1195
00:54:10,600 --> 00:54:13,560
Speaker 3: selfish person THAT i am inherently. Unlovable these people are

1196
00:54:13,600 --> 00:54:16,600
Speaker 3: having mental. Breakdowns WHEN i pointed out that mom offered

1197
00:54:16,640 --> 00:54:19,279
Speaker 3: to Take, lily he started mocking me for calling my

1198
00:54:19,440 --> 00:54:23,960
Speaker 3: mommy for help instead of being an. Adult what is

1199
00:54:24,000 --> 00:54:25,040
Speaker 3: his problem?

1200
00:54:26,480 --> 00:54:27,479
Speaker 1: HERE i don't.

1201
00:54:27,520 --> 00:54:30,399
Speaker 3: Understand those were the last WORDS i would ever hear

1202
00:54:30,440 --> 00:54:32,960
Speaker 3: from my. Brother maybe this is a good time to

1203
00:54:33,040 --> 00:54:36,400
Speaker 3: pause for some. Context, Oh brad AND i were always.

1204
00:54:36,400 --> 00:54:38,720
Speaker 3: Close we moved a lot as, kids so we always

1205
00:54:38,760 --> 00:54:41,440
Speaker 3: had each. Other we actually moved to another country alone

1206
00:54:41,480 --> 00:54:44,080
Speaker 3: together for a year or two when we were in our.

1207
00:54:44,120 --> 00:54:47,480
Speaker 3: Teens even ONCE i moved away for, good we'd have

1208
00:54:47,640 --> 00:54:50,160
Speaker 3: our long phone chats at least once or twice a.

1209
00:54:50,200 --> 00:54:53,280
Speaker 3: Week i've always looked up to him since my earliest

1210
00:54:53,320 --> 00:54:57,359
Speaker 3: memories of being. Alive maria AND i, have by, contrast

1211
00:54:57,520 --> 00:55:00,520
Speaker 3: pretty much hated each other from the moment we. Met

1212
00:55:01,160 --> 00:55:04,439
Speaker 3: she and my brother met in regularly in regular use,

1213
00:55:04,520 --> 00:55:07,600
Speaker 3: recovery And i'm grateful that they're both clean and sober.

1214
00:55:07,640 --> 00:55:10,880
Speaker 3: Now but beyond, that she's been problematic for our. Family

1215
00:55:11,400 --> 00:55:15,640
Speaker 3: maria is extremely insecure and needs to manipulate and control

1216
00:55:15,760 --> 00:55:18,560
Speaker 3: everyone around her so they can never leave. HER i,

1217
00:55:18,600 --> 00:55:21,680
Speaker 3: mean their reaction in that phone call is very clear

1218
00:55:21,719 --> 00:55:25,080
Speaker 3: that they are, unhinged and she has poisoned your brother against,

1219
00:55:25,120 --> 00:55:28,560
Speaker 3: you or poisoned you against your brother.

1220
00:55:28,560 --> 00:55:31,719
Speaker 6: Brainwashed, yeah what CAN i? Say your brother?

1221
00:55:31,719 --> 00:55:31,919
Speaker 3: Again?

1222
00:55:32,000 --> 00:55:34,320
Speaker 6: Yeah call that hold that, yeah a mile.

1223
00:55:34,360 --> 00:55:37,000
Speaker 3: Away she cuts you off from anyone else who could

1224
00:55:37,000 --> 00:55:39,799
Speaker 3: be an influence in, you AND i was obviously her

1225
00:55:39,800 --> 00:55:43,319
Speaker 3: biggest target due to my close relationship With. Brad her

1226
00:55:43,360 --> 00:55:46,839
Speaker 3: first step when Dating brad was to systematically remove all

1227
00:55:46,880 --> 00:55:50,040
Speaker 3: his friends from his. Life oh so naturally he married.

1228
00:55:50,080 --> 00:55:53,640
Speaker 6: Her she's. Isolating, goodness, gracious.

1229
00:55:53,480 --> 00:55:56,640
Speaker 3: My, girlfriend AND i called my, mom our, friends other family,

1230
00:55:56,640 --> 00:55:59,120
Speaker 3: members anyone who could help us get through To brad

1231
00:55:59,160 --> 00:56:02,120
Speaker 3: and Get lily. Back to my, Surprise brad called me

1232
00:56:02,200 --> 00:56:04,880
Speaker 3: later that day on his lunch break at, work, alone

1233
00:56:05,160 --> 00:56:08,800
Speaker 3: no Screaming maria in the, background and calmly apologized for

1234
00:56:08,840 --> 00:56:09,600
Speaker 3: how he'd spoken to me.

1235
00:56:09,640 --> 00:56:12,000
Speaker 6: Before you what he.

1236
00:56:12,000 --> 00:56:13,960
Speaker 3: Said he didn't mean those. Things he was just, angry

1237
00:56:14,360 --> 00:56:18,120
Speaker 3: and of course he'd give us the dog. Back huh.

1238
00:56:18,320 --> 00:56:21,880
Speaker 4: Huh it's like it's like a like a, leech like

1239
00:56:21,880 --> 00:56:24,560
Speaker 4: which is in the. Room he, Transformed, dude that's.

1240
00:56:24,600 --> 00:56:28,879
Speaker 1: Crazy it's like she's a freaking horse. Crux, yes, huh that's.

1241
00:56:28,880 --> 00:56:32,000
Speaker 1: Insane this is so. Crazy what is going?

1242
00:56:32,080 --> 00:56:35,560
Speaker 3: On you don't say those types of things when you

1243
00:56:35,640 --> 00:56:36,359
Speaker 3: don't mean.

1244
00:56:36,480 --> 00:56:39,200
Speaker 8: Them you can't yell that at your sister or my

1245
00:56:39,360 --> 00:56:42,640
Speaker 8: partner in the. Background we obviously know what the problem.

1246
00:56:42,719 --> 00:56:43,200
Speaker 6: Is It's.

1247
00:56:43,280 --> 00:56:46,160
Speaker 3: Maria how do you solve a problem Like?

1248
00:56:46,200 --> 00:56:49,799
Speaker 1: MARIA i know some, PEOPLE i know some.

1249
00:56:49,880 --> 00:56:54,200
Speaker 3: Shovels relief flooded over, me tears of. Joy now AS

1250
00:56:54,200 --> 00:56:56,840
Speaker 3: i told my girlfriend he'd have a he'd had a

1251
00:56:56,960 --> 00:56:59,600
Speaker 3: change of. HEART a few hours, later back at, home

1252
00:56:59,600 --> 00:57:02,960
Speaker 3: my brother called again With maria screaming in the, background

1253
00:57:03,000 --> 00:57:06,239
Speaker 3: and repeated all the horrible, insults rescinded his apology and

1254
00:57:06,280 --> 00:57:08,640
Speaker 3: said we would never get the contact and follow the

1255
00:57:08,640 --> 00:57:14,120
Speaker 3: people they gave lately. TO i would literally so. CONFUSED

1256
00:57:14,400 --> 00:57:16,080
Speaker 3: i would think that he's HAVING i would like if

1257
00:57:16,080 --> 00:57:17,720
Speaker 3: he started screaming that, Again i'd be, like are you

1258
00:57:17,760 --> 00:57:18,840
Speaker 3: having a? Stroke?

1259
00:57:19,440 --> 00:57:21,720
Speaker 6: Probably, Dude how can you?

1260
00:57:22,400 --> 00:57:25,840
Speaker 8: Apologize feel so, bad tell your partner and then get

1261
00:57:25,880 --> 00:57:27,800
Speaker 8: on a phone call and then SAY i rescind my.

1262
00:57:27,840 --> 00:57:30,520
Speaker 4: Apology can you imagine op just like picking up the phones, like,

1263
00:57:30,560 --> 00:57:32,240
Speaker 4: oh it's just my. Brother he's gonna, like you, know

1264
00:57:32,280 --> 00:57:34,520
Speaker 4: we're gonna figure this. Out and he start scrilling you,

1265
00:57:34,600 --> 00:57:35,120
Speaker 4: again like.

1266
00:57:35,520 --> 00:57:38,680
Speaker 3: HUH i would be like, less you, know, upset and

1267
00:57:38,720 --> 00:57:39,080
Speaker 3: we're just.

1268
00:57:39,080 --> 00:57:41,919
Speaker 1: Confused this guy is just no.

1269
00:57:42,040 --> 00:57:45,640
Speaker 3: Stold the next, day back at, Work brad called alone

1270
00:57:45,680 --> 00:57:48,880
Speaker 3: again to. Apologize that, night he called back With maria

1271
00:57:48,920 --> 00:57:51,080
Speaker 3: screaming and receiving the apology and so on and so. Forth,

1272
00:57:51,280 --> 00:57:54,560
Speaker 3: dude you need to get that freakin' you need to

1273
00:57:54,640 --> 00:57:58,000
Speaker 3: get where the address is when he's at.

1274
00:57:58,040 --> 00:58:00,840
Speaker 1: Work, yeah stop waiting for him to be at.

1275
00:58:00,840 --> 00:58:04,000
Speaker 6: Home, yeah and get him And lily out of.

1276
00:58:04,080 --> 00:58:07,360
Speaker 3: There, Yeah pinky The slayer says they're probably back to Using,

1277
00:58:07,880 --> 00:58:11,600
Speaker 3: yeah got. Me this went on for, DAYS i think

1278
00:58:11,640 --> 00:58:13,920
Speaker 3: five days in, total with three to four phone calls

1279
00:58:13,920 --> 00:58:17,200
Speaker 3: each day at random hours due to time. Zones every

1280
00:58:17,280 --> 00:58:20,160
Speaker 3: time they would repeat these horrible, insults And i'd be

1281
00:58:20,200 --> 00:58:24,080
Speaker 3: crying the entire time and shock that the rollercoaster was restarting.

1282
00:58:24,120 --> 00:58:26,200
Speaker 6: Again, dude you don't have to answer those, Dude.

1283
00:58:26,040 --> 00:58:29,439
Speaker 3: Yeah stop answering the. Phone but, finally somehow my mother

1284
00:58:29,560 --> 00:58:32,200
Speaker 3: managed to convince. Him she ended up driving over to

1285
00:58:32,200 --> 00:58:33,960
Speaker 3: pick Up lily and that was the end of. That

1286
00:58:34,440 --> 00:58:37,560
Speaker 3: she brought her to her expansive property in the countryside

1287
00:58:37,600 --> 00:58:40,320
Speaker 3: with their multiple other, dogs Where lily lived until she

1288
00:58:40,360 --> 00:58:42,760
Speaker 3: passed away last year at the ripe old age of.

1289
00:58:42,800 --> 00:58:45,880
Speaker 3: Fifteen that is such a good. Age she lived for a.

1290
00:58:45,920 --> 00:58:48,800
Speaker 3: While she and my mom were obsessed with each, other

1291
00:58:48,920 --> 00:58:51,280
Speaker 3: and she was one of the best family dogs we've ever.

1292
00:58:51,320 --> 00:58:54,120
Speaker 3: Had had a, long happy. Life that's.

1293
00:58:54,200 --> 00:58:54,560
Speaker 1: Lovely.

1294
00:58:55,040 --> 00:58:57,400
Speaker 6: Alone, However barkie.

1295
00:58:57,480 --> 00:58:59,560
Speaker 3: Live, OH i thought you were trying To, okay that's all?

1296
00:58:59,600 --> 00:59:03,240
Speaker 6: Right then, yeah, along there's a pun, here BUT i

1297
00:59:03,280 --> 00:59:04,640
Speaker 6: can't think of. It got.

1298
00:59:04,640 --> 00:59:08,680
Speaker 3: Anything, however it's now been six years AND i haven't

1299
00:59:08,760 --> 00:59:09,680
Speaker 3: spoken To. Brad.

1300
00:59:10,320 --> 00:59:13,640
Speaker 6: Sorry, sorry she had a, long happy, life not a rough.

1301
00:59:13,680 --> 00:59:15,080
Speaker 1: Life, ah there we.

1302
00:59:15,120 --> 00:59:18,680
Speaker 3: Go. Nice he since Married maria. You they have a

1303
00:59:18,800 --> 00:59:21,320
Speaker 3: daughter and their son was just born a few days.

1304
00:59:21,320 --> 00:59:23,520
Speaker 3: Ago i'm on the way to my home country to

1305
00:59:23,600 --> 00:59:26,040
Speaker 3: visit next, week and my mom is pressuring me to

1306
00:59:26,160 --> 00:59:28,920
Speaker 3: mend things with my brother and go see them When i'm.

1307
00:59:28,920 --> 00:59:33,320
Speaker 3: There but he never. Apologized for, weeks then, MONTHS i

1308
00:59:33,400 --> 00:59:35,960
Speaker 3: waited for him to reach. OUT i waited for him

1309
00:59:35,960 --> 00:59:38,400
Speaker 3: to stay sorry for betraying me like. That With lily

1310
00:59:38,880 --> 00:59:41,160
Speaker 3: for saying so many hurtful things and for us to

1311
00:59:41,200 --> 00:59:43,880
Speaker 3: have to talk about, It is that really how you see?

1312
00:59:43,920 --> 00:59:46,200
Speaker 3: Me at the, BEGINNING i was hoping he And maria

1313
00:59:46,240 --> 00:59:48,600
Speaker 3: would break up and then he'd come running back to

1314
00:59:48,640 --> 00:59:50,960
Speaker 3: our family and apologize for letting her cut him off

1315
00:59:50,960 --> 00:59:53,640
Speaker 3: from the rest of. Us but, obviously once they got

1316
00:59:53,680 --> 00:59:56,400
Speaker 3: married and we found Out maria was, PREGNANT i knew

1317
00:59:56,400 --> 00:59:57,080
Speaker 3: that would never.

1318
00:59:56,960 --> 01:00:00,600
Speaker 6: Happen because she's gonna trap. Them that's so, sad, DUDE

1319
01:00:00,640 --> 01:00:01,520
Speaker 6: i can baby trap.

1320
01:00:01,560 --> 01:00:04,760
Speaker 3: Them that's so. Sad, Oh but like to lose your

1321
01:00:04,960 --> 01:00:08,600
Speaker 3: sibling that you were close to to this person to

1322
01:00:08,640 --> 01:00:12,360
Speaker 3: the point where like he's screaming hateful things at. You,

1323
01:00:13,840 --> 01:00:17,360
Speaker 3: then as the months stretched into, years the time itself

1324
01:00:17,400 --> 01:00:19,720
Speaker 3: became a wedge between. Us the amount of time it

1325
01:00:19,760 --> 01:00:22,000
Speaker 3: had taken for him to reach out hurt more and.

1326
01:00:22,040 --> 01:00:24,240
Speaker 3: More and now it's at the point WHERE i feel,

1327
01:00:24,320 --> 01:00:26,880
Speaker 3: like how could we even reconcile when you let me

1328
01:00:26,920 --> 01:00:29,760
Speaker 3: sit with those words for six years When i've changed

1329
01:00:29,920 --> 01:00:32,360
Speaker 3: so much as a person in that. Time my mom

1330
01:00:32,400 --> 01:00:34,720
Speaker 3: has told me about his life and him about, mine

1331
01:00:35,120 --> 01:00:38,400
Speaker 3: even THOUGH i specifically told her not to the way

1332
01:00:38,400 --> 01:00:40,920
Speaker 3: they mocked my job made me feel like any INFORMATION

1333
01:00:41,000 --> 01:00:43,880
Speaker 3: i tell them about my life is foddered for their cruel.

1334
01:00:43,960 --> 01:00:47,560
Speaker 3: Jokes anything my mom has told them in the past six,

1335
01:00:47,640 --> 01:00:50,440
Speaker 3: years she tells, me they scoff at and, criticized and

1336
01:00:50,520 --> 01:00:53,360
Speaker 3: why are you telling them? Anything when they got, MARRIED

1337
01:00:53,400 --> 01:00:55,840
Speaker 3: i told my Mom i'd go if they both essentially

1338
01:00:55,840 --> 01:00:58,640
Speaker 3: got on their knees and begged for my, forgiveness but

1339
01:00:58,800 --> 01:01:01,000
Speaker 3: that it had to be genuine only of both of,

1340
01:01:01,040 --> 01:01:04,960
Speaker 3: them Including. Maria genuinely we're willing to make amends and

1341
01:01:05,040 --> 01:01:07,000
Speaker 3: build the trust back that they had broken with. Me

1342
01:01:07,160 --> 01:01:10,120
Speaker 3: clearly that never. Happened oh as much As i'd love

1343
01:01:10,160 --> 01:01:12,080
Speaker 3: to meet my niece and, nephew as much AS i

1344
01:01:12,120 --> 01:01:14,640
Speaker 3: adorn my brother and miss the closeness we used to,

1345
01:01:14,640 --> 01:01:17,840
Speaker 3: have as much as there's NOTHING i want more than

1346
01:01:17,880 --> 01:01:20,080
Speaker 3: to be able to call him and talk to him

1347
01:01:20,080 --> 01:01:22,280
Speaker 3: about tough times in my life or just laugh and

1348
01:01:22,360 --> 01:01:24,520
Speaker 3: joke like we used. TO i know that we can't

1349
01:01:24,520 --> 01:01:26,800
Speaker 3: go back to how things. WERE i will never be

1350
01:01:26,840 --> 01:01:29,320
Speaker 3: able to tell him anything about my day other than

1351
01:01:29,360 --> 01:01:32,200
Speaker 3: it was good Or i'm, okay BECAUSE i don't trust him.

1352
01:01:32,200 --> 01:01:34,160
Speaker 3: ANYMORE i don't trust that he sees me as a

1353
01:01:34,240 --> 01:01:37,360
Speaker 3: vulnerable person with my own feelings who needs support from my.

1354
01:01:37,440 --> 01:01:40,360
Speaker 3: Family SOMETIMES i don't trust that he won't snicker about

1355
01:01:40,400 --> 01:01:43,840
Speaker 3: my darkest moments behind my back With maria the moment

1356
01:01:43,880 --> 01:01:46,760
Speaker 3: we hang up the. Phone if that's the, case what

1357
01:01:46,800 --> 01:01:49,960
Speaker 3: would the point of having contact be fake pleasantries and

1358
01:01:50,000 --> 01:01:52,400
Speaker 3: awkward smiles for the one Week i'm home every. Year

1359
01:01:52,840 --> 01:01:56,840
Speaker 3: it's heartbreaking to realize that this is the point our

1360
01:01:56,880 --> 01:01:59,920
Speaker 3: relationship has gotten, to when he's always been the PER

1361
01:02:00,440 --> 01:02:03,360
Speaker 3: i love most in the. World BUT i just don't

1362
01:02:03,400 --> 01:02:06,240
Speaker 3: know HOW i can move forward WHEN i still fear

1363
01:02:06,320 --> 01:02:08,880
Speaker 3: in my heart that he really does believe all those

1364
01:02:08,880 --> 01:02:11,480
Speaker 3: things he said six years. Ago so AM i wrong

1365
01:02:11,600 --> 01:02:14,800
Speaker 3: for going no contact with my brother and never meeting

1366
01:02:14,800 --> 01:02:18,280
Speaker 3: his two kids all because he gave away my girlfriend's.

1367
01:02:18,320 --> 01:02:21,280
Speaker 8: Dog it's not because he gave away that is one,

1368
01:02:21,280 --> 01:02:22,560
Speaker 8: thing gave away your girlfriend's.

1369
01:02:22,560 --> 01:02:24,600
Speaker 6: Dog it's how he treated.

1370
01:02:24,680 --> 01:02:26,440
Speaker 1: You, Yeah, no one was.

1371
01:02:26,760 --> 01:02:28,720
Speaker 3: Terrible he was just a terrible.

1372
01:02:28,760 --> 01:02:31,000
Speaker 4: PERSON i would have gone no contact with him a

1373
01:02:31,040 --> 01:02:33,280
Speaker 4: long time ago if it weren't for the.

1374
01:02:33,360 --> 01:02:34,920
Speaker 1: Dog if you had the, Dog i'd have been.

1375
01:02:34,840 --> 01:02:37,480
Speaker 3: Like all, right, Cool but once you get the, dog it's,

1376
01:02:37,560 --> 01:02:38,400
Speaker 3: yeah you have no.

1377
01:02:38,440 --> 01:02:39,240
Speaker 1: Reason that's create my.

1378
01:02:39,280 --> 01:02:40,160
Speaker 3: Life you're a terrible.

1379
01:02:40,160 --> 01:02:41,360
Speaker 6: Person, yeah