WEBVTT - When Panic Takes Over – And How to Break Free

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<v Speaker 1>Pushkin. Hey, it's maya some exciting news. My book The

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<v Speaker 1>Other Side of Change was just chosen by Amazon as

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<v Speaker 1>one of the best books of the year. To celebrate today,

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<v Speaker 1>I'll be sharing an excerpt with you. This chapter is

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<v Speaker 1>about mental spirals, those moments when a negative thought gets

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<v Speaker 1>stuck on repeat and crowds out everything else. It features

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<v Speaker 1>a journalist named Matt Gutman. Matt spent years reporting live

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<v Speaker 1>from high pressure situations all over the world throughout his career.

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<v Speaker 1>He was composed and professional on camera, but behind the scenes,

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<v Speaker 1>that was a different story. Matt was privately dealing with

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<v Speaker 1>panic attacks. Then, during a breaking news assignment, Matt's panic

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<v Speaker 1>led to an on air mistake that jeopardized his livelihood.

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<v Speaker 1>The more he thought about it, the more he started

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<v Speaker 1>to believe that there was something fundamentally wrong with him.

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<v Speaker 1>In this excerpt, I explore how Matt came to see

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<v Speaker 1>his panic attacks in a new light and how we

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<v Speaker 1>can all learn to tame our mental spirals and turn

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<v Speaker 1>down the volume on our inner critic. I really hope

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<v Speaker 1>you enjoyed this excerpt from the Other Side of Change,

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<v Speaker 1>and if you've already read the book or planned to,

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<v Speaker 1>I would so appreciate if you could take a quick

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<v Speaker 1>minute and leave a review on Goodreads. Leaving a review

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<v Speaker 1>is one of the best ways for the book to

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<v Speaker 1>find new readers who might benefit from it. We've included

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<v Speaker 1>a link in the show notes. Thanks so much. One

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<v Speaker 1>foggy Sunday morning, Matt Gutman was making pancakes for his

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<v Speaker 1>kids when he received a call from his boss at

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<v Speaker 1>ABC News. It was January twenty twenty, and Matt had

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<v Speaker 1>just returned home to la after a month of reporting

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<v Speaker 1>on the road as the network's chief national correspondent. When

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<v Speaker 1>he picked up the phone, his boss told him that

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<v Speaker 1>the basketball player Kobe Bryant had been in a fatal

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<v Speaker 1>helicopter crash about fifteen miles from Matt's home. ABC needed

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<v Speaker 1>Matt to cover the developing story. He grabbed supplies while

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<v Speaker 1>checking news alerts and texting the local sheriff, then jumped

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<v Speaker 1>in his car and drove off. As he got closer

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<v Speaker 1>to the scene, he was overcome by the responsibility of

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<v Speaker 1>delivering this tragic news to millions of viewers. His heart

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<v Speaker 1>began to pound against his rib cage faster and faster.

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<v Speaker 1>His hands trembled, his chest tightened, his vision narrowed, sweat

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<v Speaker 1>seeped through his clothes. He tried to breathe, but he

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<v Speaker 1>felt as though he could not remember how he was

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<v Speaker 1>having a panic attack. The sensation wasn't new. In his

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<v Speaker 1>twenty years as a journalist, Matt had experienced panic attacks

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<v Speaker 1>more than one hundred times. To rain in his panic

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<v Speaker 1>before he went live on air, hell up coping mechanisms

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<v Speaker 1>like meditating, doing push ups, smoking a cigarette, and sometimes

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<v Speaker 1>even wearing his lucky underwear. Somehow, he'd always found a

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<v Speaker 1>way to work through it. Once the camera started rolling.

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<v Speaker 1>He'd recover his composure enough to deliver the full story

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<v Speaker 1>live on TV, even if it came out in stammers

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<v Speaker 1>or between labored breaths, and was usually reassured to find

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<v Speaker 1>that viewers hadn't noticed anything was off. Matt's panic attacks

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<v Speaker 1>never happened when he was in physical danger. They were

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<v Speaker 1>rooted in a different kind of threat, the risk of

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<v Speaker 1>social judgment. He had reported without issue from war zones,

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<v Speaker 1>from cartel controlled territories, and within the wreckage of hurricanes

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<v Speaker 1>and tornadoes. He knew that in these extenuating circumstances, his

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<v Speaker 1>colleagues and viewers did not expect a perfect performance and

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<v Speaker 1>would forgive any fumbles. Instead, his panic emerged in situations

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<v Speaker 1>in which he knew that people had higher expectations of him.

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<v Speaker 1>On the morning of the helicopter crash, Matt could feel

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<v Speaker 1>the pressure of the public's expectations mounting within him. He

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<v Speaker 1>had to get the story just right. As he prepared

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<v Speaker 1>to go live, he counseled himself deep breath in, deep

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<v Speaker 1>breath out, But as the broadcast started, his panic only intensified.

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<v Speaker 1>Matt's colleague opened the segment by telling viewers that he'd

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<v Speaker 1>received confirmation that the NBA legend Kobe Bryant had died

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<v Speaker 1>in a helicopter crash in southern California. He then passed

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<v Speaker 1>it over to Matt to share any other known details

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<v Speaker 1>about the crash, which had taken the lives of all

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<v Speaker 1>those on board. We know that it happened an hour ago,

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<v Speaker 1>Matt began. His mind was scrambled and on hyperdrive, his

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<v Speaker 1>heart still racing, His words came tumbling out. The fact

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<v Speaker 1>that four of his children are believed to be on

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<v Speaker 1>that helicopter with him, all daughters, one of them a newborn,

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<v Speaker 1>he continued, is simply devastating. But the claim that Bryan's

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<v Speaker 1>four daughters were were with him was incorrect. Nine people

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<v Speaker 1>had been on board, and only one of them was

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<v Speaker 1>Brian's child, his thirteen year old Gianna. Matt did not

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<v Speaker 1>even realize he'd made the error. The whole broadcast was

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<v Speaker 1>one big blur in his mind until a colleague frantically

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<v Speaker 1>texted him after the segment cut away. As soon as

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<v Speaker 1>he could, Matt jumped back on the air to issue

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<v Speaker 1>a correction and apologize for any pain his mistake might

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<v Speaker 1>have caused. But the damage was done. In what was

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<v Speaker 1>already a devastating tragedy, Matt's error had only compounded the

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<v Speaker 1>public's confusion and distress. Two days later, network executives called

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<v Speaker 1>him and imposed a one month suspension for his misreporting.

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<v Speaker 1>Matt readily accepted the punishment. In the weeks that followed,

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<v Speaker 1>he was filled with self recrimination. He spent his empty

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<v Speaker 1>days at home alone with his thoughts. As he saw it,

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<v Speaker 1>his suspension had been inevitable, even long overdue. For years,

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<v Speaker 1>he'd been walking a tight rope, and now at last

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<v Speaker 1>he'd fallen off. With his wife at work and his

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<v Speaker 1>kids at school, he paced around the house, walked the dogs,

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<v Speaker 1>and occasionally worked out, but he also set up a

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<v Speaker 1>Google alert that notified him every time a new article

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<v Speaker 1>about his mistake came out. He scoured the web and

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<v Speaker 1>read the comments from angry viewers. The public was skewering him,

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<v Speaker 1>questioning not just his competence but also his morality. Some

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<v Speaker 1>commenters said that ABC should fire him, Others said that

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<v Speaker 1>he should be permanently banished from journalism. At night, unable

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<v Speaker 1>to sleep, Matt spiraled what was wrong with him. He

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<v Speaker 1>had delivered plenty of imperfect broadcasts over the years as

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<v Speaker 1>a result of his panic, and although he'd felt a

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<v Speaker 1>shame hangover each time, he'd always found a way through it.

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<v Speaker 1>This time was different. Though he had made a serious

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<v Speaker 1>journalistic error. He'd thought his panic was something he could manage,

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<v Speaker 1>but now it was clear that he'd been wrong. A

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<v Speaker 1>new thought took hold of Matt. Maybe his brain was

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<v Speaker 1>fundamentally broken. Maybe his panic meant that he was broken.

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<v Speaker 1>The idea seized him completely, holding his mind hostage hour

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<v Speaker 1>after hour, day after day. The public criticism only legitimized

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<v Speaker 1>and strengthened his conviction. It was this perverse vindication, he recalls,

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<v Speaker 1>thinking that I was irredeemable most of us know what

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<v Speaker 1>it's like to get caught in a negative mental spiral.

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<v Speaker 1>Any number of things can trigger these unrelenting, suffocating loops,

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<v Speaker 1>but the catalyst is typically a change in our lives.

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<v Speaker 1>Our new anxieties, regrets, and uncertainties can take on a

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<v Speaker 1>life of their own and become a bigger challenge to

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<v Speaker 1>deal with than the change itself. These thoughts become like

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<v Speaker 1>mine worms, nestling into our psyches, hijacking our attention and

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<v Speaker 1>stoking our biggest spheres. What's wrong with me? How could

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<v Speaker 1>I not have seen that coming? How could they do

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<v Speaker 1>that to me? What's going to happen? This is known

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<v Speaker 1>as rumination, and it can involve obsessively rehashing something in

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<v Speaker 1>the past, grappling with perceived problems in the present, or

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<v Speaker 1>catastrophizing and imagine future. When we're in its grip, it

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<v Speaker 1>can be hard to focus on anything else or to

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<v Speaker 1>conceive of ever moving past our problem. Rumination is a

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<v Speaker 1>common symptom of conditions like depression and anxiety, but anyone

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<v Speaker 1>can fall into its trap from time to time. Part

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<v Speaker 1>of the allure of fixating on a particular problem is

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<v Speaker 1>that analysis and self reflection often do bear fruit But

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<v Speaker 1>when we ruminate, we're not actually making progress toward a solution.

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<v Speaker 1>We're simply cycling through the same negative thoughts over and

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<v Speaker 1>over again each time we engage with our problem. Though,

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<v Speaker 1>we can fall prey to the illusion that we're on

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<v Speaker 1>the verge of a breakthrough, that we're just about to

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<v Speaker 1>gain some great insight, find closure, or attain some guarantee

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<v Speaker 1>of security. If I analyze my mistake enough, I'll avoid

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<v Speaker 1>repeating the mistake in the future. If I dwell on

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<v Speaker 1>this failure, I'll feel like I have paid my penance

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<v Speaker 1>and can move on. If I catalog all the harms

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<v Speaker 1>that may affect my family, I'll be able to keep

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<v Speaker 1>them safe. Similar to when we're in denial or think

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<v Speaker 1>that our possible selves have been predetermined, rumination puts blinders

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<v Speaker 1>on us. We are trapped within a narrow understanding of

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<v Speaker 1>our situation and are unable to see that there are

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<v Speaker 1>other ways to approach it. As Matt did when he

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<v Speaker 1>scoured the web for negative comments about himself, we might

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<v Speaker 1>search only for further evidence that confirms our worries. This

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<v Speaker 1>can lead us to double down on our convictions, however

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<v Speaker 1>unfounded they might be. So what does it take to

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<v Speaker 1>break free from these maddening mental spirals. If you've ever

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<v Speaker 1>experience rumination, you likely know that the brute force approach

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<v Speaker 1>of telling yourself to just stop already usually makes things worse.

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<v Speaker 1>What does work, it turns out, is a technique called

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<v Speaker 1>psychological distancing. As researched by psychologists like Ethan Cross and

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<v Speaker 1>oslem Iduk, psychological distancing involves creating space between yourself and

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<v Speaker 1>the thoughts that have taken hold. In other words, since

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<v Speaker 1>rumination arises from zooming in too closely on a situation,

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<v Speaker 1>one of the best ways to break free from it

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<v Speaker 1>is to actively zoom out. This distance allows you to

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<v Speaker 1>see your situation from new angles, which can release you

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<v Speaker 1>from ruminations hamster wheel Zooming out involves proactively seeking other

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<v Speaker 1>points of view or greater contexts so that you can

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<v Speaker 1>approach your problems more constructively. Just as there are different

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<v Speaker 1>ways you can fall into ruminative loots, there are also

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<v Speaker 1>many ways you can spring out from them. When's his

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<v Speaker 1>suspension was over, he returned to work that as he

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<v Speaker 1>tried to steal himself through each broadcast, he couldn't shed

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<v Speaker 1>his belief that he was broken. A new question also

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<v Speaker 1>bubbled up in his mind. Why did broken people like

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<v Speaker 1>him even exist? This panic thing had derailed me, Matt said,

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<v Speaker 1>and so I suddenly became consumed with trying to understand

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<v Speaker 1>why it has persisted in our genetic code and why

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<v Speaker 1>we haven't evolved out of it. In the year following

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<v Speaker 1>his mistake, Matt decided to interview as many experts as

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<v Speaker 1>he could who might have an answer to his question.

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<v Speaker 1>One afternoon, while on a reporting trip, he returned to

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<v Speaker 1>his hotel room and hopped on a zoom call with

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<v Speaker 1>Randolph NeSSI, a professor at Arizona State University who is

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<v Speaker 1>a leader in the field of evolutionary psychiatry. Matt confessed

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<v Speaker 1>to NeSSI his belief that he was a faulty human

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<v Speaker 1>and that his panic attacks were the product of a

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<v Speaker 1>glitch in the genetic code and attentively, and then he

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<v Speaker 1>offered a counter argument. The ability to panic, he told Matt,

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<v Speaker 1>was not a glitch but an asset. In fact, it

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<v Speaker 1>was one of the reasons humans have been able to

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<v Speaker 1>survive for so long. NeSSI explained that the stress hormones

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<v Speaker 1>we release in response to panic, which lead to things

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<v Speaker 1>like a racing heart and increased respiration, are essential for

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<v Speaker 1>reacting appropriately to danger. These physiological changes send more oxygen

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<v Speaker 1>into the bloodstream, enabling us to move more quickly out

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<v Speaker 1>of harm's way. Rapid spikes and cortisol and adrenaline meanwhile

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<v Speaker 1>increase our alertness. As NeSSI spoke, Matt nodded along. He

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<v Speaker 1>could understand that logic, but he was panicking even when

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<v Speaker 1>it didn't make sense to surely this still made him broken.

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<v Speaker 1>Right again, NeSSI had a reassuring reply. Because there can

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<v Speaker 1>be uncertainty about whether a situation is actually dangerous? What

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<v Speaker 1>was that rustle from behind that bush? It can be

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<v Speaker 1>better in the long run to overreact than to underreact.

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<v Speaker 1>From an evolutionary perspective, NeSSI said, it is more adaptive

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<v Speaker 1>for our brains to respond to a thousand false alarms

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<v Speaker 1>than to miss a single real one. In times past,

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<v Speaker 1>someone who is more inclined to overreact than the average

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<v Speaker 1>person might have saved their tribe from danger. But Matt

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<v Speaker 1>did not panic in response to potential physical threats. He

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<v Speaker 1>panicked over his fears of social judgment. How could NeSSI

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<v Speaker 1>justify that here too, NeSSI had an answer. Our ancestors

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<v Speaker 1>didn't survive just by worrying about threats from wild animals

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<v Speaker 1>or natural disasters. They also needed to worry about being

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<v Speaker 1>cast out of their group. For most of human history,

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<v Speaker 1>humans were able to survive only by banding together, and

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<v Speaker 1>so our brains became primed to detect social threats as well.

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<v Speaker 1>This explain why Matt was hyper attuned to other people's

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<v Speaker 1>perceptions of him, and why he panicked when he felt

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<v Speaker 1>as though his social standing might be in jeopardy. Matt

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<v Speaker 1>had sought out NeSSI to understand why he was broken,

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<v Speaker 1>but NeSSI helped Matt zoom out by encouraging him to

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<v Speaker 1>question this assumption altogether and to contextualize his panic within

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<v Speaker 1>the larger story of human evolution. When we're stuck in rumination,

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<v Speaker 1>a powerful first step is to stop and interrogate our assumptions.

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<v Speaker 1>It's easy to forget that our ways of thinking are

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<v Speaker 1>limited by the boundaries of our personal experience, knowledge, and beliefs.

0:14:45.436 --> 0:14:48.756
<v Speaker 1>By sharing our concerns with other people and encouraging them

0:14:48.796 --> 0:14:51.916
<v Speaker 1>to poke holes in our narratives, we can encounter new

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<v Speaker 1>perspectives that help us forge new mental pathways. Might there

0:14:56.196 --> 0:14:59.796
<v Speaker 1>be a different conclusion to draw a different story from

0:14:59.796 --> 0:15:03.636
<v Speaker 1>the one we've been telling ourselves. As Matt left the

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<v Speaker 1>call with NeSSI, his body relaxed. His tendency to panic

0:15:08.036 --> 0:15:12.036
<v Speaker 1>didn't mean he was after all, It meant he wasn't broken.

0:15:12.916 --> 0:15:16.316
<v Speaker 1>It was clear, though, that his system needed a serious recalibration.

0:15:17.076 --> 0:15:20.476
<v Speaker 1>Being this prone to panic had negatively affected his mental

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<v Speaker 1>well being and had threatened his livelihood. But he could

0:15:23.876 --> 0:15:26.876
<v Speaker 1>at least let go of his self loathing. I could

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<v Speaker 1>stop hating my mind, he said. Matt's process of reworking

0:15:31.756 --> 0:15:35.916
<v Speaker 1>his relationship with his panic is an example of cognitive reappraisal,

0:15:36.596 --> 0:15:40.516
<v Speaker 1>in which deliberately changing how we interpret a situation can

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<v Speaker 1>alter its emotional impact. As a result of his reappraisal,

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<v Speaker 1>Matt was able to take a more constructive approach toward

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<v Speaker 1>managing his panic attacks. This included cognitive behavioral therapy and

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<v Speaker 1>selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors SSRIs, which are first line treatments

0:15:58.356 --> 0:16:01.596
<v Speaker 1>when a person's rumination is serious enough to compromise their

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<v Speaker 1>mental health, as well as breath work and guided psychedelic trips.

0:16:06.636 --> 0:16:10.156
<v Speaker 1>Over time, Matt's panic episodes had been become less frequent

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<v Speaker 1>and intense, and his I'm broken script no longer has

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<v Speaker 1>such a hold over him. For decades, I had a

0:16:16.996 --> 0:16:19.676
<v Speaker 1>drill sergeant in my head who was always hollering at

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<v Speaker 1>me and insulting me, he said, I still have an

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<v Speaker 1>inner drill sergeant, but this one never screams at me,

0:16:26.516 --> 0:16:30.516
<v Speaker 1>and he never tells me I'm unworthy. Today, Matt is

0:16:30.596 --> 0:16:35.036
<v Speaker 1>thriving in his role as ABC's chief national correspondent and

0:16:35.116 --> 0:16:38.596
<v Speaker 1>reports live from around the globe. He now sees an

0:16:38.676 --> 0:16:42.156
<v Speaker 1>upside to his anxiety. The fact that he is hyper

0:16:42.196 --> 0:16:45.276
<v Speaker 1>aware of what other people may be thinking has enabled

0:16:45.356 --> 0:16:49.596
<v Speaker 1>him to be a more compassionate, perceptive listener. I'm often

0:16:49.596 --> 0:16:52.196
<v Speaker 1>meeting people on the worst day of their lives, and

0:16:52.236 --> 0:16:54.716
<v Speaker 1>I'm able to speak to them in a common language,

0:16:54.796 --> 0:16:57.836
<v Speaker 1>he said. It's one of the reasons they can trust

0:16:57.876 --> 0:17:13.636
<v Speaker 1>me with their stories. Hey, thanks so much for listening

0:17:13.676 --> 0:17:16.596
<v Speaker 1>to that excerpt of the Other Side of Change. You

0:17:16.596 --> 0:17:20.076
<v Speaker 1>can finish Matt's story and meet other people with extraordinary

0:17:20.076 --> 0:17:23.636
<v Speaker 1>stories of change by getting a copy wherever you buy books.

0:17:24.036 --> 0:17:28.836
<v Speaker 1>It's available in hardcover, ebook, and audiobook. I hope you're

0:17:28.876 --> 0:17:31.836
<v Speaker 1>all taking some time to relax and recharge this summer.

0:17:32.396 --> 0:17:34.516
<v Speaker 1>We on the slight Change of Plans team will be

0:17:34.556 --> 0:17:37.756
<v Speaker 1>doing the same. Our break starts next week, and we'll

0:17:37.756 --> 0:17:40.916
<v Speaker 1>be back with new episodes in July. If you miss

0:17:40.956 --> 0:17:43.796
<v Speaker 1>this in the meantime, I highly recommend checking out our

0:17:43.876 --> 0:17:47.756
<v Speaker 1>back catalog, where you'll find six years of inspiring stories

0:17:47.796 --> 0:17:51.316
<v Speaker 1>of change and scientific insights to help you live a happier,

0:17:51.396 --> 0:17:54.396
<v Speaker 1>healthier life. We'll leave a link to the catalog and

0:17:54.436 --> 0:17:57.276
<v Speaker 1>a playlist of some of my favorite Slight Change episodes

0:17:57.316 --> 0:17:59.996
<v Speaker 1>in the show notes, and of course we'll be back

0:18:00.036 --> 0:18:02.156
<v Speaker 1>in a few weeks with a new episode of a

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<v Speaker 1>Slight Change of Plans. I'll see you then,