Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.
Speaker 1: Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.
Speaker 1: Today's tip is to keep unhelpful feedback to yourself. When
Speaker 1: a roommate or partner or kid performs a task, you're
Speaker 1: best off thanking them rather than critiquing how they did it.
Speaker 1: In other words, if it's done, it's right now. I
Speaker 1: know my listeners, and if you are listening to this podcast,
Speaker 1: I'm betting that you have a clearer vision of how
Speaker 1: you want your household to run. You have high standards,
Speaker 1: you value efficiency, You've no doubt thought a lot about
Speaker 1: logistics and the best possible way to do things. But
Speaker 1: right now you may have more responsibilities and less help
Speaker 1: at home than usual. If grocery shopping or other household
Speaker 1: tasks felt like a black hole of time before this
Speaker 1: year's pandemic, well they may be even more time consuming now.
Speaker 1: So with increased demands in a challenging environment, we need
Speaker 1: to be realistic about what we can do and sensible
Speaker 1: about how we share responsibilities. A lot of households have
Speaker 1: rethought chores, and I think that's great. Of course, there's
Speaker 1: an inevitable side effect after reallocating chores. Your partner, kids,
Speaker 1: or roommates may be responsible for tasks that, well, in
Speaker 1: your opinion, may not be done perfectly. You may be
Speaker 1: tempted to coach them on how to fit the most
Speaker 1: dishes in the dishwasher, or you may be inclined to
Speaker 1: demonstrate how to fold shirts. Your partner might mix up
Speaker 1: the order of the activities in the bedtime routine, and
Speaker 1: you might want to remind him of your correct order.
Speaker 1: But don't, because if it's done, it's right. If something
Speaker 1: happened to you, your family would probably figure out how
Speaker 1: to run the household in your absence, So let them
Speaker 1: do their part in contributing to the household you share. Now.
Speaker 1: I know that sometimes this is easier said than done,
Speaker 1: but there are lots of ways to think about how
Speaker 1: other people do the work. Sometimes a task performed wrong,
Speaker 1: maybe a result of different assumptions. If you put milk
Speaker 1: on the grocery list, you may know that that usually
Speaker 1: means a half gallon of one percent organic milk. But
Speaker 1: if the person doing the grocery shopping comes home with
Speaker 1: a gallon of conventional skim milk, well, so what you'll
Speaker 1: drink it next week? You can be more precise on
Speaker 1: the grocery list, but in the meantime, try to appreciate
Speaker 1: their work grocery shopping. If your kids legitimately need help
Speaker 1: or coaching on new chores they've taken on, great offer help,
Speaker 1: but don't underestimate what they can figure out for themselves.
Speaker 1: If you're inclined to get involved, give your child some
Speaker 1: agency by letting them choose your role. Would it be
Speaker 1: helpful if I showed you how I wash baking dishes
Speaker 1: with food stuck on, you might say, Or if you
Speaker 1: want suggestions for what temperature to use for any of
Speaker 1: the laundry, just let me know that way. The responsibility
Speaker 1: is your child's and you're a resource. They have the
Speaker 1: autonomy to accept or decline your help. If there are
Speaker 1: tasks that are really important to you or that you
Speaker 1: want done your way, then do them yourself. A lot
Speaker 1: of people have strong opinions about how to wash their
Speaker 1: nice clothes, for example, and if that's you in the
Speaker 1: household division of labor, offer to do that part of
Speaker 1: the laundry. The big idea, though, is to realize that
Speaker 1: your household is shared. It's not just your home, so
Speaker 1: when someone else has responsibility for a household task. Respect
Speaker 1: their way of doing it, even if it's different from yours.
Speaker 1: If it's done, it's right. We're all in this together,
Speaker 1: and it's good when we can appreciate everyone's contribution. In
Speaker 1: the meantime. This is Laura. Thanks for listening, and here's
Speaker 1: to making the most of our time. M Hey, everybody,
Speaker 1: I'd love to hear from you. You can send me
Speaker 1: your tips, your questions, or anything else. Just connect with
Speaker 1: me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at Before Breakfast pod
Speaker 1: that's B the number four, then Breakfast p o D.
Speaker 1: You can also shoot me an email at Before Breakfast
Speaker 1: podcast at i heeart media dot com that Before Breakfast
Speaker 1: is spelled out with all the letters. Thanks so much,
Speaker 1: I look forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is
Speaker 1: a production of I Heart Radio. For more podcasts from
Speaker 1: my heart Radio, visit the i heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,
Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.