WEBVTT - If it’s done it’s right 

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.

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<v Speaker 1>Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.

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<v Speaker 1>Today's tip is to keep unhelpful feedback to yourself. When

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<v Speaker 1>a roommate or partner or kid performs a task, you're

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<v Speaker 1>best off thanking them rather than critiquing how they did it.

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<v Speaker 1>In other words, if it's done, it's right now. I

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<v Speaker 1>know my listeners, and if you are listening to this podcast,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm betting that you have a clearer vision of how

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<v Speaker 1>you want your household to run. You have high standards,

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<v Speaker 1>you value efficiency, You've no doubt thought a lot about

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<v Speaker 1>logistics and the best possible way to do things. But

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<v Speaker 1>right now you may have more responsibilities and less help

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<v Speaker 1>at home than usual. If grocery shopping or other household

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<v Speaker 1>tasks felt like a black hole of time before this

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<v Speaker 1>year's pandemic, well they may be even more time consuming now.

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<v Speaker 1>So with increased demands in a challenging environment, we need

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<v Speaker 1>to be realistic about what we can do and sensible

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<v Speaker 1>about how we share responsibilities. A lot of households have

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<v Speaker 1>rethought chores, and I think that's great. Of course, there's

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<v Speaker 1>an inevitable side effect after reallocating chores. Your partner, kids,

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<v Speaker 1>or roommates may be responsible for tasks that, well, in

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<v Speaker 1>your opinion, may not be done perfectly. You may be

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<v Speaker 1>tempted to coach them on how to fit the most

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<v Speaker 1>dishes in the dishwasher, or you may be inclined to

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<v Speaker 1>demonstrate how to fold shirts. Your partner might mix up

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<v Speaker 1>the order of the activities in the bedtime routine, and

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<v Speaker 1>you might want to remind him of your correct order.

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<v Speaker 1>But don't, because if it's done, it's right. If something

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<v Speaker 1>happened to you, your family would probably figure out how

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<v Speaker 1>to run the household in your absence, So let them

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<v Speaker 1>do their part in contributing to the household you share. Now.

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<v Speaker 1>I know that sometimes this is easier said than done,

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<v Speaker 1>but there are lots of ways to think about how

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<v Speaker 1>other people do the work. Sometimes a task performed wrong,

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<v Speaker 1>maybe a result of different assumptions. If you put milk

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<v Speaker 1>on the grocery list, you may know that that usually

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<v Speaker 1>means a half gallon of one percent organic milk. But

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<v Speaker 1>if the person doing the grocery shopping comes home with

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<v Speaker 1>a gallon of conventional skim milk, well, so what you'll

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<v Speaker 1>drink it next week? You can be more precise on

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<v Speaker 1>the grocery list, but in the meantime, try to appreciate

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<v Speaker 1>their work grocery shopping. If your kids legitimately need help

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<v Speaker 1>or coaching on new chores they've taken on, great offer help,

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<v Speaker 1>but don't underestimate what they can figure out for themselves.

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<v Speaker 1>If you're inclined to get involved, give your child some

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<v Speaker 1>agency by letting them choose your role. Would it be

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<v Speaker 1>helpful if I showed you how I wash baking dishes

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<v Speaker 1>with food stuck on, you might say, Or if you

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<v Speaker 1>want suggestions for what temperature to use for any of

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<v Speaker 1>the laundry, just let me know that way. The responsibility

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<v Speaker 1>is your child's and you're a resource. They have the

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<v Speaker 1>autonomy to accept or decline your help. If there are

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<v Speaker 1>tasks that are really important to you or that you

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<v Speaker 1>want done your way, then do them yourself. A lot

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<v Speaker 1>of people have strong opinions about how to wash their

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<v Speaker 1>nice clothes, for example, and if that's you in the

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<v Speaker 1>household division of labor, offer to do that part of

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<v Speaker 1>the laundry. The big idea, though, is to realize that

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<v Speaker 1>your household is shared. It's not just your home, so

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<v Speaker 1>when someone else has responsibility for a household task. Respect

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<v Speaker 1>their way of doing it, even if it's different from yours.

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<v Speaker 1>If it's done, it's right. We're all in this together,

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<v Speaker 1>and it's good when we can appreciate everyone's contribution. In

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<v Speaker 1>the meantime. This is Laura. Thanks for listening, and here's

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<v Speaker 1>to making the most of our time. M Hey, everybody,

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<v Speaker 1>I'd love to hear from you. You can send me

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<v Speaker 1>your tips, your questions, or anything else. Just connect with

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<v Speaker 1>me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at Before Breakfast pod

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<v Speaker 1>that's B the number four, then Breakfast p o D.

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<v Speaker 1>You can also shoot me an email at Before Breakfast

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<v Speaker 1>podcast at i heeart media dot com that Before Breakfast

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<v Speaker 1>is spelled out with all the letters. Thanks so much,

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<v Speaker 1>I look forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is

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<v Speaker 1>a production of I Heart Radio. For more podcasts from

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<v Speaker 1>my heart Radio, visit the i heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,

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<v Speaker 1>or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.