1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:03,360 Speaker 1: This is Cowboy Sam and this is ee how John. Hey. 2 00:00:03,400 --> 00:00:07,240 Speaker 1: We've lastowed in some amazing stories for y'all the Okay 3 00:00:07,320 --> 00:00:09,920 Speaker 1: Storytime podcasts, but before that we got. 4 00:00:09,680 --> 00:00:12,440 Speaker 2: To wrangle a quick little to minute ad break from 5 00:00:12,520 --> 00:00:15,600 Speaker 2: those bucking sponsors. We bucking love so much they paid 6 00:00:15,640 --> 00:00:18,400 Speaker 2: us the bucks to help this show stay alive. My 7 00:00:18,520 --> 00:00:20,960 Speaker 2: father cut me out of the inheritance, cut me back in, 8 00:00:21,160 --> 00:00:23,919 Speaker 2: put me in, Duddy. Well, my dad is a business 9 00:00:23,920 --> 00:00:25,759 Speaker 2: that me and my brother worked for. My dad wants 10 00:00:25,760 --> 00:00:28,400 Speaker 2: to leave the family business entirely to my older brother. 11 00:00:28,680 --> 00:00:31,000 Speaker 2: He says that makes the most sense because my older 12 00:00:31,040 --> 00:00:33,280 Speaker 2: brother is his oldest child and has been in the 13 00:00:33,320 --> 00:00:36,240 Speaker 2: business the longest. He has a business degree and knows 14 00:00:36,320 --> 00:00:39,080 Speaker 2: much more about the business side of his work because 15 00:00:39,120 --> 00:00:41,360 Speaker 2: there's some other side that's not business related. 16 00:00:41,479 --> 00:00:43,640 Speaker 3: Business business business. 17 00:00:44,880 --> 00:00:48,560 Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from telethesis on the r 18 00:00:48,640 --> 00:00:50,600 Speaker 2: slash to hot take subreddit, and if you want to 19 00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:53,600 Speaker 2: submit your own story, go to the r slash Okay 20 00:00:53,640 --> 00:00:54,920 Speaker 2: struw breddit and send it in. 21 00:00:55,200 --> 00:00:55,320 Speaker 1: So. 22 00:00:55,640 --> 00:00:58,880 Speaker 2: While I do the physical aspect of the job very well, 23 00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:01,120 Speaker 2: I was a bit in poled also when I was younger, 24 00:01:01,360 --> 00:01:03,320 Speaker 2: so he doesn't think it would be a good idea 25 00:01:03,440 --> 00:01:05,720 Speaker 2: for me to be charged. To be honest, I don't 26 00:01:05,720 --> 00:01:08,000 Speaker 2: think it would be either. But considering how much I 27 00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:10,880 Speaker 2: contribute to this business and that I am his son too, 28 00:01:11,040 --> 00:01:13,000 Speaker 2: I think I should at least get some of the 29 00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:15,840 Speaker 2: say in the future of the business and a stake 30 00:01:15,920 --> 00:01:16,600 Speaker 2: in the company. 31 00:01:17,200 --> 00:01:20,760 Speaker 3: I mean, I think, yeah, yes, in part, but also 32 00:01:20,800 --> 00:01:22,319 Speaker 3: I think that you need to kind of prove that. 33 00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:24,040 Speaker 3: And if you are trying to prove that and he's 34 00:01:24,040 --> 00:01:28,240 Speaker 3: not even letting you, like he's not acknowledging that, then 35 00:01:28,240 --> 00:01:29,000 Speaker 3: that's another thing. 36 00:01:29,480 --> 00:01:29,960 Speaker 1: Indeed. 37 00:01:30,040 --> 00:01:31,920 Speaker 3: But I feel like if you're just like I deserve 38 00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:35,200 Speaker 3: it because I want it, so that's nepotism. 39 00:01:35,360 --> 00:01:35,720 Speaker 1: Indeed. 40 00:01:35,760 --> 00:01:38,959 Speaker 2: I feel like at this early in the story, it's like, Okay, 41 00:01:39,080 --> 00:01:42,640 Speaker 2: could could potential way either way. The one thing I 42 00:01:42,720 --> 00:01:45,640 Speaker 2: will say is the you don't have to give him 43 00:01:45,640 --> 00:01:46,920 Speaker 2: the control of the well I. 44 00:01:46,920 --> 00:01:48,920 Speaker 3: Guess he said he's done a lot of the physical 45 00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:50,960 Speaker 3: work for the late yeah. Yeah, and he has done 46 00:01:50,960 --> 00:01:52,280 Speaker 3: a lot of work for the company. 47 00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:55,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, Because like inheritance is like, oh, I'm giving my 48 00:01:55,360 --> 00:01:58,880 Speaker 2: children just part of it that's generally not even associated 49 00:01:58,880 --> 00:01:59,760 Speaker 2: with like oh they worked on. 50 00:01:59,800 --> 00:02:00,559 Speaker 1: It way exactly. 51 00:02:00,640 --> 00:02:01,480 Speaker 3: So the steak in the company. 52 00:02:01,560 --> 00:02:05,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, so something something there, not even half, but some 53 00:02:05,160 --> 00:02:07,760 Speaker 2: some steak in the company. Right in the end, my 54 00:02:07,880 --> 00:02:11,360 Speaker 2: father said no, but that I would get some money 55 00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:14,160 Speaker 2: after he passed away. The whole thing really pissed me off, 56 00:02:14,160 --> 00:02:16,720 Speaker 2: and I was starting to get bitter continuing to work 57 00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:20,200 Speaker 2: there and be around them. So I gave two weeks notice. 58 00:02:20,320 --> 00:02:23,000 Speaker 2: I've been trying to keep a neutral demeanor the whole time. 59 00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:26,200 Speaker 2: This is my last week. And Jared, the guy that 60 00:02:26,360 --> 00:02:29,359 Speaker 2: presents our biggest client, was asking if I could take 61 00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:31,639 Speaker 2: care of this other project next week. So I told 62 00:02:31,720 --> 00:02:33,880 Speaker 2: him I would pass that along to my brother, that 63 00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:36,079 Speaker 2: I'm not going to be working here next week. 64 00:02:36,160 --> 00:02:37,880 Speaker 1: Oh I'm not gonna be here. 65 00:02:37,880 --> 00:02:39,880 Speaker 3: Which, honestly, yeah, if you're not getting paid the way 66 00:02:39,919 --> 00:02:42,320 Speaker 3: that you want to be, Yeah, like if your dad's 67 00:02:42,360 --> 00:02:45,239 Speaker 3: not appreciating the work that you do and you've asked 68 00:02:45,240 --> 00:02:47,400 Speaker 3: for your raise or not your raise, but you've asked, 69 00:02:47,639 --> 00:02:50,080 Speaker 3: you know, you've made your requests and stuff, and he's like, no, 70 00:02:50,639 --> 00:02:51,320 Speaker 3: don't stay there. 71 00:02:51,680 --> 00:02:55,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, being in family business can be tough. 72 00:02:55,120 --> 00:02:55,560 Speaker 3: It's tough. 73 00:02:55,639 --> 00:02:58,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, not everyone is the donners. 74 00:02:58,960 --> 00:03:02,079 Speaker 3: It's so true. Tell you, not anyone can flowish work 75 00:03:02,120 --> 00:03:02,840 Speaker 3: with their brother. 76 00:03:03,160 --> 00:03:03,720 Speaker 1: That's right. 77 00:03:04,960 --> 00:03:07,000 Speaker 2: Jared and I talk a lot and are pretty friendly 78 00:03:07,040 --> 00:03:09,360 Speaker 2: with each other because I'm the one who mostly works 79 00:03:09,400 --> 00:03:11,600 Speaker 2: this job. Who've actually hung out outside of work a 80 00:03:11,600 --> 00:03:13,720 Speaker 2: few times. So he asked me why I was leaving. 81 00:03:14,160 --> 00:03:16,880 Speaker 2: I just said for personal reasons. He asked where I 82 00:03:16,919 --> 00:03:18,640 Speaker 2: was going to be working, and I told him I 83 00:03:18,680 --> 00:03:20,880 Speaker 2: wasn't sure yet because there's not a lot of business 84 00:03:20,880 --> 00:03:25,000 Speaker 2: that need employees with my skills. Anyway, today, while I'm working, 85 00:03:25,320 --> 00:03:28,280 Speaker 2: Jared's boss comes down and asks if I will consider 86 00:03:28,480 --> 00:03:29,440 Speaker 2: working for them. 87 00:03:29,760 --> 00:03:31,800 Speaker 3: Whoa little poaching going on? 88 00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:33,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, coaching action. 89 00:03:33,639 --> 00:03:36,000 Speaker 2: He said he's been thinking for a while of doing 90 00:03:36,040 --> 00:03:38,800 Speaker 2: all this work in house, but has been having trouble 91 00:03:38,840 --> 00:03:40,720 Speaker 2: finding someone experienced since. 92 00:03:40,560 --> 00:03:42,360 Speaker 1: It's such a specialized field. 93 00:03:42,560 --> 00:03:44,680 Speaker 2: He said, He's always been very happy with my work 94 00:03:44,880 --> 00:03:47,760 Speaker 2: and that's why they always request me. He offered me 95 00:03:47,880 --> 00:03:51,360 Speaker 2: a three year contract, and the salary is so much 96 00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:54,240 Speaker 2: more than I ever would have made at my dad's company. 97 00:03:54,600 --> 00:03:58,040 Speaker 2: Plus it comes with benefits and an office. 98 00:03:58,280 --> 00:04:02,760 Speaker 3: Heck, yeah, perfect. I mean you get benefits and an office. 99 00:04:03,120 --> 00:04:06,480 Speaker 3: Come on, and somebody who appreciates what you can offer, 100 00:04:06,520 --> 00:04:08,280 Speaker 3: because your dad clearly does not this. 101 00:04:08,680 --> 00:04:12,080 Speaker 2: He just listed all things that were all significantly better. 102 00:04:12,280 --> 00:04:13,240 Speaker 3: Yeah, I agree. 103 00:04:13,680 --> 00:04:16,159 Speaker 1: Not sure what I'll do with an office with that, 104 00:04:16,320 --> 00:04:17,360 Speaker 1: saymes pretty gold. 105 00:04:17,480 --> 00:04:19,400 Speaker 3: I don't know what I'm going to do an office. Shock. 106 00:04:19,440 --> 00:04:22,240 Speaker 3: I could do anything with office, and the pus ability's 107 00:04:22,240 --> 00:04:22,880 Speaker 3: a limitless. 108 00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:25,400 Speaker 1: With a whole box, I can sit and. 109 00:04:25,360 --> 00:04:28,680 Speaker 3: Waken I I don't know. I could play in an office. 110 00:04:29,520 --> 00:04:32,200 Speaker 1: I could shuffle papers in an office. 111 00:04:32,279 --> 00:04:35,360 Speaker 3: Who's to say I could do a lot in an office. 112 00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:37,599 Speaker 2: I also get to pick out the equipment, and I 113 00:04:37,640 --> 00:04:39,560 Speaker 2: can hire two employees. 114 00:04:39,040 --> 00:04:39,640 Speaker 1: To work under me. 115 00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:43,320 Speaker 2: It just keep getting better. Overall, It's an amazing deal. 116 00:04:43,440 --> 00:04:45,839 Speaker 2: But I know that losing this client will hit my 117 00:04:45,920 --> 00:04:50,400 Speaker 2: family's business hard because remember this means that the client 118 00:04:50,440 --> 00:04:53,080 Speaker 2: would no longer be working with his family's business with 119 00:04:53,200 --> 00:04:56,480 Speaker 2: OP coming over. At the same time, It's not like 120 00:04:56,520 --> 00:04:59,040 Speaker 2: I was asking for it or trying to steal their client. 121 00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:01,320 Speaker 2: He was the one that came to me and wanted me. 122 00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:04,200 Speaker 2: I thought about maybe using this as a bargaining ship 123 00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:06,640 Speaker 2: with my dad to gets some say and stake in 124 00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:08,920 Speaker 2: the company, but honestly, I don't want to get it 125 00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:10,880 Speaker 2: that way, and I just don't want to work with 126 00:05:10,920 --> 00:05:12,680 Speaker 2: either of them anymore. Yeah, I mean, we have a 127 00:05:12,760 --> 00:05:15,599 Speaker 2: quick edit coming up. But yeah, it seems like he's like, hey, look, 128 00:05:15,920 --> 00:05:18,240 Speaker 2: you guys are not showing me the respect, and this 129 00:05:18,320 --> 00:05:23,480 Speaker 2: new company instantaneously is giving him like way more respective benefits. 130 00:05:23,160 --> 00:05:23,760 Speaker 1: Salar and everything. 131 00:05:23,839 --> 00:05:25,479 Speaker 3: Yeah, because at the beginning, I was like, oh, well, 132 00:05:25,480 --> 00:05:27,599 Speaker 3: if it's just him asking for it, and he's actually 133 00:05:27,640 --> 00:05:31,320 Speaker 3: he's not able to like, you know, meet the needs 134 00:05:31,360 --> 00:05:33,280 Speaker 3: for the roles that he wants to be a part of, 135 00:05:33,360 --> 00:05:36,279 Speaker 3: that's different. But he is seemingly yeah, he's just not 136 00:05:36,360 --> 00:05:38,400 Speaker 3: being given that chance, and so he's going to somewhere 137 00:05:38,440 --> 00:05:39,839 Speaker 3: where they're going to give him that chance. 138 00:05:40,080 --> 00:05:43,000 Speaker 1: And again the like, if you don't want to give 139 00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:43,960 Speaker 1: your kids. 140 00:05:43,800 --> 00:05:47,680 Speaker 2: Inheritance, that's fine, But to give one kid like pretty 141 00:05:47,720 --> 00:05:52,120 Speaker 2: much all the inheritance or like the vast majority of 142 00:05:52,160 --> 00:05:54,080 Speaker 2: the inheritance and not give it to the other is 143 00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:54,560 Speaker 2: kind of like. 144 00:05:55,279 --> 00:05:56,400 Speaker 1: What are we doing? 145 00:05:56,760 --> 00:05:58,960 Speaker 2: You could you could you could give him the monetary 146 00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:01,560 Speaker 2: amount and have him not have say in the company. 147 00:06:01,600 --> 00:06:03,640 Speaker 3: That's that's what Yeah, like you could have a steak 148 00:06:03,680 --> 00:06:05,320 Speaker 3: in the company. He's doing a lot of work. 149 00:06:05,440 --> 00:06:07,760 Speaker 1: Yeah, come on, now there's an edit. 150 00:06:08,080 --> 00:06:10,880 Speaker 2: I really regret putting the whole bargaining chip in this post, 151 00:06:10,960 --> 00:06:13,800 Speaker 2: people seem to keep focusing on me doing that when 152 00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:15,839 Speaker 2: I say right afterwards that I don't want to do 153 00:06:15,880 --> 00:06:17,960 Speaker 2: that and don't even want to work with them anymore. 154 00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:21,560 Speaker 1: It was just a fleeting thought. Guys, It's okay, we 155 00:06:21,600 --> 00:06:22,960 Speaker 1: can have a fleeting thought. 156 00:06:23,279 --> 00:06:26,279 Speaker 3: I can fleet, we can can flip, we can fleet. 157 00:06:26,360 --> 00:06:27,080 Speaker 1: Had at number two. 158 00:06:27,200 --> 00:06:30,640 Speaker 2: Seriously, guys, not actually planning on bargaining or negotiating with 159 00:06:30,680 --> 00:06:32,760 Speaker 2: my dad or my brother. And the verdict was not 160 00:06:32,880 --> 00:06:35,040 Speaker 2: the a hole. We have some relevant comments, but very 161 00:06:35,120 --> 00:06:35,919 Speaker 2: quick do we agree? 162 00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:38,919 Speaker 3: So you yeah, I mean in the same way. I 163 00:06:38,960 --> 00:06:41,960 Speaker 3: mean not exactly in the same way, but like somewhat 164 00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:44,200 Speaker 3: in the same way that your dad said no to 165 00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:48,080 Speaker 3: giving you a stake in the company or you know, 166 00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:51,200 Speaker 3: a say in the business, because that was just business. 167 00:06:51,279 --> 00:06:54,560 Speaker 2: So is this Yes, it's like, hey, you didn't want 168 00:06:54,560 --> 00:06:55,919 Speaker 2: to give me something, that's okay. 169 00:06:56,120 --> 00:06:58,479 Speaker 1: Yeah, them, these guys over here, they offered it. 170 00:06:59,080 --> 00:07:01,000 Speaker 3: They wanted me more than you. 171 00:07:01,080 --> 00:07:02,360 Speaker 1: What am I supposed to do? 172 00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:05,560 Speaker 2: Not get anything from you and then not get anything 173 00:07:05,600 --> 00:07:08,760 Speaker 2: from them, but peace out me if you if you 174 00:07:08,760 --> 00:07:10,840 Speaker 2: want me so bad, then give me the things they're 175 00:07:10,880 --> 00:07:11,280 Speaker 2: offering me. 176 00:07:11,480 --> 00:07:13,320 Speaker 1: Beg for me, beg for me. 177 00:07:13,720 --> 00:07:15,840 Speaker 2: Oh, we got some relevant coments going on. So propa 178 00:07:15,880 --> 00:07:18,040 Speaker 2: to number one says, not the a whole. It's not personal, 179 00:07:18,080 --> 00:07:20,400 Speaker 2: it's just business. If he's been thinking about looking for 180 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:22,960 Speaker 2: someone specialized in that field, he could have left from 181 00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:26,320 Speaker 2: your dad's firm at any moment once said person would 182 00:07:26,320 --> 00:07:28,840 Speaker 2: have shown up. Will it be awkward or your family 183 00:07:28,880 --> 00:07:32,280 Speaker 2: be upset? Maybe, But you gave your notice and they 184 00:07:32,320 --> 00:07:35,080 Speaker 2: haven't attempted to retain you. You would be the A 185 00:07:35,240 --> 00:07:38,200 Speaker 2: hole if you tried to leverage this. But as is, 186 00:07:38,320 --> 00:07:40,679 Speaker 2: you gave your notice. The client was looking for someone 187 00:07:40,720 --> 00:07:44,280 Speaker 2: to employ. Anyone who has ever employed anyone or had 188 00:07:44,360 --> 00:07:47,680 Speaker 2: clients knows that people leave or make choices that you 189 00:07:47,840 --> 00:07:48,960 Speaker 2: may disagree with. 190 00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:50,000 Speaker 3: Yeah. 191 00:07:50,320 --> 00:07:52,520 Speaker 2: Prompa to number two says, just want to second this, 192 00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:55,200 Speaker 2: but op, please don't use this as leverage or anything 193 00:07:55,240 --> 00:07:57,960 Speaker 2: like that. Op, don't worry, it was just a fleeting thought. 194 00:07:58,680 --> 00:08:00,560 Speaker 2: Or don't want to work with either of them anymore, 195 00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:02,640 Speaker 2: how much? Or number three says, not the a hole. 196 00:08:02,840 --> 00:08:04,960 Speaker 2: Your dad was being completely unfair. You now have an 197 00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:06,640 Speaker 2: awesome opportunity. Go for it. 198 00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:10,360 Speaker 1: I would, however, check any employment contracts you have and 199 00:08:10,400 --> 00:08:11,920 Speaker 1: make sure you're doing it by the book. 200 00:08:12,080 --> 00:08:14,520 Speaker 2: For example, my old contract said I couldn't work in 201 00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:17,360 Speaker 2: a competitor business until six months after I left my 202 00:08:17,400 --> 00:08:20,440 Speaker 2: old place. Opie says, I'm pretty sure mine didn't have 203 00:08:20,520 --> 00:08:23,920 Speaker 2: any competitor clause. It was it was really short, like 204 00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:26,480 Speaker 2: two paragraphs long. I'll check again later though, when I 205 00:08:26,520 --> 00:08:27,040 Speaker 2: get back to. 206 00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:28,600 Speaker 1: My office really quick. 207 00:08:28,960 --> 00:08:32,160 Speaker 2: Would Ope be the a hole if he came back 208 00:08:32,200 --> 00:08:35,400 Speaker 2: to his dad and was like, Hey, they offered me this. 209 00:08:35,520 --> 00:08:37,640 Speaker 1: Do you want to cash out to beat that? 210 00:08:37,760 --> 00:08:40,559 Speaker 3: Everyone was saying, don't use this as leverage. Don't I 211 00:08:40,640 --> 00:08:43,600 Speaker 3: feel like you could. I don't know, Like I was like, 212 00:08:43,679 --> 00:08:46,800 Speaker 3: I feel like you could, Like what is so? I 213 00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:49,120 Speaker 3: feel like a lot of people do that all the time. No, Yes, 214 00:08:49,559 --> 00:08:51,520 Speaker 3: they're like, hey, I'm getting paid, I can get paid 215 00:08:51,559 --> 00:08:53,680 Speaker 3: way more. Yeah, if you want to keep me, you 216 00:08:53,720 --> 00:08:54,400 Speaker 3: have to pay more. 217 00:08:54,840 --> 00:08:58,640 Speaker 1: Yeah. I think it's perfectly fine. 218 00:08:59,200 --> 00:09:01,440 Speaker 3: I think I was also wondering about that. I was like, oh, 219 00:09:01,600 --> 00:09:01,920 Speaker 3: is that. 220 00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:05,720 Speaker 1: It sounds like like people with groves or lammed. Yeah. 221 00:09:05,840 --> 00:09:07,800 Speaker 3: I'm like, what what is you wrong about that? 222 00:09:07,960 --> 00:09:08,240 Speaker 1: Yeah? 223 00:09:08,280 --> 00:09:11,720 Speaker 2: Like, like I mean, I guess like tone matters of 224 00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:14,520 Speaker 2: like if he goes he's like, hey, look I got 225 00:09:14,520 --> 00:09:17,280 Speaker 2: this other offer, Like, here's everything they offered me, Like, 226 00:09:17,440 --> 00:09:19,120 Speaker 2: are you guys able to match that? So I could, like, 227 00:09:19,480 --> 00:09:21,840 Speaker 2: you know, because it kind of low key wouldn't make 228 00:09:21,880 --> 00:09:24,120 Speaker 2: sense to continue working here when I have all of 229 00:09:24,160 --> 00:09:27,199 Speaker 2: these things in this other offer, yeah, versus like, all right, 230 00:09:27,320 --> 00:09:29,840 Speaker 2: now I've got all this, Now you need to you know, 231 00:09:30,400 --> 00:09:32,560 Speaker 2: three axis or whatever, like Okay. If he's saying that, 232 00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:34,960 Speaker 2: then yeah, okay, that's like giving some a whole vibes. 233 00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:36,680 Speaker 2: But if he's just like, hey, can you match this 234 00:09:36,800 --> 00:09:41,199 Speaker 2: or beat it? Like yeah, yeah, sure sure. Competent number 235 00:09:41,200 --> 00:09:44,720 Speaker 2: four info, do you know how much money they pay 236 00:09:44,720 --> 00:09:47,120 Speaker 2: your dad's company for the work. The new company may 237 00:09:47,160 --> 00:09:49,600 Speaker 2: be taking advantage of you and your family by hiring 238 00:09:49,640 --> 00:09:52,040 Speaker 2: you and quitting business with your dad. I guess that 239 00:09:52,080 --> 00:09:54,640 Speaker 2: makes sense if it's like, oh, we pay them, you know, 240 00:09:55,040 --> 00:09:57,160 Speaker 2: one hundred and fifty k a year and we're giving 241 00:09:57,160 --> 00:09:58,520 Speaker 2: you one hundred k or whatever. 242 00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:02,080 Speaker 1: But like also again, like if. 243 00:10:01,920 --> 00:10:04,640 Speaker 2: They can get what they need for hiring him for 244 00:10:04,760 --> 00:10:07,960 Speaker 2: like that salary, then it kind of is what it is. 245 00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:10,000 Speaker 1: I don't no one else will say. 246 00:10:10,880 --> 00:10:14,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, Opie says, they definitely pay my dad's company a 247 00:10:14,040 --> 00:10:15,959 Speaker 2: lot more to do the work, which would make like 248 00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:18,440 Speaker 2: a whole company's own company makes sense, But the salary 249 00:10:18,480 --> 00:10:21,160 Speaker 2: they're offering me is more than what the high end 250 00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:24,040 Speaker 2: of someone in my position normally makes. I wouldn't expect 251 00:10:24,080 --> 00:10:27,240 Speaker 2: to make as much as a subcontractor would since I'm 252 00:10:27,240 --> 00:10:29,560 Speaker 2: not the one paying for all the expenses and equipment. 253 00:10:29,800 --> 00:10:32,600 Speaker 2: Commentar number five says, not the a whole. Obviously, Jared 254 00:10:32,640 --> 00:10:36,679 Speaker 2: and his company respect slash value your work more than 255 00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:40,200 Speaker 2: your brother and father. Yeah, I can't believe your brother 256 00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:42,080 Speaker 2: didn't even try to fight for you to get some 257 00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:44,280 Speaker 2: kind of stake in the company. I would be pissed, 258 00:10:44,480 --> 00:10:46,719 Speaker 2: Like everyone else said, you're just another employee. 259 00:10:46,960 --> 00:10:48,280 Speaker 1: Screw that, screw that. 260 00:10:48,679 --> 00:10:51,320 Speaker 2: Flip side. If you take this job, be prepared for 261 00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:53,160 Speaker 2: your father to take you off his will and you 262 00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:56,240 Speaker 2: make it nothing. Yeah, that is true, because he did 263 00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:59,199 Speaker 2: say you'll get some money. The one thing we didn't 264 00:10:59,559 --> 00:11:03,600 Speaker 2: specify how much, and like, for example, if he just 265 00:11:03,640 --> 00:11:06,680 Speaker 2: gave op the dollar equivalent of what the stake in 266 00:11:06,720 --> 00:11:10,480 Speaker 2: the company is, that that's okay. Yeah, I think sure, 267 00:11:10,559 --> 00:11:13,839 Speaker 2: you know, if it's like a company control or saying, 268 00:11:13,880 --> 00:11:15,800 Speaker 2: you know, like oh I want him to be decision 269 00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:17,680 Speaker 2: making or whatever since he's been making decisions. 270 00:11:17,840 --> 00:11:20,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, or it could be at least better, at least 271 00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:21,120 Speaker 1: my better. 272 00:11:21,240 --> 00:11:21,440 Speaker 4: Yeah. 273 00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:23,400 Speaker 3: Yeah, I I guess you just have to like decide 274 00:11:23,520 --> 00:11:26,800 Speaker 3: do you want this job and the opportunities it will 275 00:11:26,800 --> 00:11:30,400 Speaker 3: provide you more than you want that money that you'll 276 00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:32,079 Speaker 3: get like much further down the line. 277 00:11:32,080 --> 00:11:33,439 Speaker 1: Are you okay with losing that? Yeah? 278 00:11:33,520 --> 00:11:34,920 Speaker 2: Are you okay with losing It's a good question to 279 00:11:34,920 --> 00:11:36,959 Speaker 2: ask yourself here. If you take this job, you prepared 280 00:11:37,120 --> 00:11:38,600 Speaker 2: for your father to take you off as. 281 00:11:38,520 --> 00:11:39,160 Speaker 1: Will, and you make it. 282 00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:41,960 Speaker 2: Nothing seems like a good possibility of this happening from 283 00:11:41,960 --> 00:11:43,959 Speaker 2: the way it sounds. Don't let that stop you from 284 00:11:43,960 --> 00:11:46,600 Speaker 2: taking a great job opportunity. I would take the job offer. 285 00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:49,240 Speaker 2: I wouldn't start for a couple of weeks after you left, though, 286 00:11:49,720 --> 00:11:51,960 Speaker 2: then tell your father and brother about a week before 287 00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:55,000 Speaker 2: you started. I would also ask Jared and his company 288 00:11:55,360 --> 00:11:58,440 Speaker 2: if they think after three years they're going to renew 289 00:11:58,480 --> 00:12:01,960 Speaker 2: contracts and keep the position, and basically find out how 290 00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:04,760 Speaker 2: secure the job is in the future with the new company. 291 00:12:05,280 --> 00:12:07,840 Speaker 2: Keep us updated. I'm very curious on how this plays 292 00:12:07,840 --> 00:12:09,240 Speaker 2: out and pays out. 293 00:12:10,720 --> 00:12:12,160 Speaker 1: I added that I. 294 00:12:12,160 --> 00:12:15,520 Speaker 2: Just added that smart by the way you putting in 295 00:12:15,520 --> 00:12:17,760 Speaker 2: your two weeks notice and they didn't even try to 296 00:12:17,800 --> 00:12:21,240 Speaker 2: retain you, says something. A. They think you'll come crawling 297 00:12:21,320 --> 00:12:24,240 Speaker 2: back and they're your only choice. B they don't care 298 00:12:24,559 --> 00:12:27,240 Speaker 2: or see. Maybe they think you were trying to use 299 00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:29,360 Speaker 2: your two weeks as a bargaining ship to get a stake, 300 00:12:29,840 --> 00:12:33,200 Speaker 2: and they showed that they weren't budging on the decision, 301 00:12:33,440 --> 00:12:35,840 Speaker 2: to which Ope responds when I put in my two 302 00:12:35,840 --> 00:12:38,320 Speaker 2: weeks notice, they did offer me a small salary bump, 303 00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:41,800 Speaker 2: but that honestly felt more like an insult. Yeah, I'm 304 00:12:41,800 --> 00:12:44,680 Speaker 2: going to give you a whopping point one percent raise. 305 00:12:45,800 --> 00:12:47,679 Speaker 2: What do you say, pal, Did. 306 00:12:47,640 --> 00:12:49,959 Speaker 3: You like that? No, I can give you a cent 307 00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:54,000 Speaker 3: every every year you get one more cent. 308 00:12:54,520 --> 00:12:56,760 Speaker 2: You know what, I'm going to increase that. I'm going 309 00:12:56,840 --> 00:12:58,559 Speaker 2: to double that offer two cents. 310 00:12:58,600 --> 00:13:02,720 Speaker 3: Two cents EveryWare, you're gonna get two more cents. How 311 00:13:02,760 --> 00:13:03,920 Speaker 3: does that sound deal? 312 00:13:04,440 --> 00:13:04,920 Speaker 1: Johnson? 313 00:13:05,400 --> 00:13:05,880 Speaker 3: Johnson? 314 00:13:06,240 --> 00:13:08,200 Speaker 1: Is that good work? Johnson? Not good work? 315 00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:08,360 Speaker 3: No? 316 00:13:08,760 --> 00:13:11,160 Speaker 2: How much A number six says info. I'm guessing the 317 00:13:11,200 --> 00:13:14,320 Speaker 2: guy has the choice of hiring you or your dad's company, 318 00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:16,319 Speaker 2: in which case, of course, he came to you. He's 319 00:13:16,320 --> 00:13:19,520 Speaker 2: saving money buying your work directly make sure you're actually 320 00:13:19,520 --> 00:13:22,320 Speaker 2: getting paid what you're worth. They're definitely paying you less 321 00:13:22,320 --> 00:13:24,760 Speaker 2: than they paid your dad. That's why they're hiring you directly. 322 00:13:25,080 --> 00:13:27,000 Speaker 2: Do you know how much your dad was charging them? 323 00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:28,480 Speaker 2: Hopefully it's reasonably close to. 324 00:13:28,440 --> 00:13:29,160 Speaker 1: What you're getting. 325 00:13:29,320 --> 00:13:31,840 Speaker 2: And Opie says the pay is significantly less than what 326 00:13:31,880 --> 00:13:34,920 Speaker 2: my dad charges. But considering I'm not going to be 327 00:13:34,920 --> 00:13:37,320 Speaker 2: paying for any of the business expenses or equipment like 328 00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:41,800 Speaker 2: my dad, like my dad does, the pay is very generous. 329 00:13:42,040 --> 00:13:44,360 Speaker 1: Yeah. Again, like I feel like it could be. 330 00:13:44,679 --> 00:13:46,480 Speaker 2: It's like, Okay, maybe it's not as much as the 331 00:13:46,559 --> 00:13:49,920 Speaker 2: dad would make, but if Opie's still getting better than 332 00:13:49,960 --> 00:13:53,240 Speaker 2: the high end of his salary and all these things, Yeah, I. 333 00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:55,800 Speaker 3: Mean it's like law, it's long in the long term, 334 00:13:55,880 --> 00:13:59,320 Speaker 3: better for your career, I think, Yeah, go to go 335 00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:00,079 Speaker 3: with the somewhe. 336 00:13:59,840 --> 00:14:00,800 Speaker 1: Where they appreciate you. 337 00:14:00,920 --> 00:14:03,679 Speaker 3: Yeah, Like, why would you want all that money if 338 00:14:03,679 --> 00:14:06,600 Speaker 3: you're just having people who like don't think that you're 339 00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:08,040 Speaker 3: capable exactly. 340 00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:09,720 Speaker 2: Yeah, That's the other thing is like do you just 341 00:14:09,760 --> 00:14:13,760 Speaker 2: want to keep working and being like, okay, brothers getting everything, 342 00:14:13,760 --> 00:14:17,440 Speaker 2: I'm getting nothing. I'm not appreciated, and over here they're like, dude, 343 00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:20,200 Speaker 2: you're freaking awesome. Yeah, what what else can we do 344 00:14:20,280 --> 00:14:20,560 Speaker 2: for you? 345 00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:21,560 Speaker 3: Exactly? 346 00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:25,240 Speaker 1: Go for the vibes, Go for the vibes. But we 347 00:14:25,280 --> 00:14:30,400 Speaker 1: have got an update a little more than one month later. 348 00:14:30,560 --> 00:14:33,600 Speaker 3: Okay, so Opie should be working at this other company. 349 00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:37,840 Speaker 1: Now, let's see. So it's been a while since my 350 00:14:37,880 --> 00:14:41,280 Speaker 1: first post and things have been settled. Oh. I felt 351 00:14:41,320 --> 00:14:42,960 Speaker 1: like a good amount of you said it was okay 352 00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:43,720 Speaker 1: to take the job. 353 00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:45,680 Speaker 2: There were a few that said that I should give 354 00:14:45,680 --> 00:14:47,640 Speaker 2: my dad and brother a heads up that this was 355 00:14:47,680 --> 00:14:50,520 Speaker 2: all happening before accept at a job, so as not 356 00:14:50,600 --> 00:14:54,480 Speaker 2: to blindside them. Quick poll, Yes, heads up or not? 357 00:14:55,960 --> 00:14:58,600 Speaker 2: Do we give the dad and brother heads up or not? 358 00:14:58,880 --> 00:15:05,120 Speaker 1: Quick take Sophia mmmmmm mmmmm. She's thinking I don't know. 359 00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:07,760 Speaker 1: She's thinking, I think I'll find out eventually. 360 00:15:08,040 --> 00:15:12,280 Speaker 2: Yeah, even I don't know if they quote unquote. 361 00:15:11,960 --> 00:15:16,280 Speaker 1: Deserve it, Yeah, but I do. 362 00:15:16,640 --> 00:15:21,200 Speaker 2: If your relationship, like family wise, is the outside of that, 363 00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:22,400 Speaker 2: I think it's good. 364 00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:23,080 Speaker 1: Yeah. 365 00:15:23,120 --> 00:15:25,280 Speaker 3: I yes, I would say if you have a good 366 00:15:25,280 --> 00:15:26,840 Speaker 3: relationship with them outside, yeah sure. 367 00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:30,960 Speaker 2: But if they just freaking suck all around, yeah, then no, 368 00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:34,480 Speaker 2: you know, yeah no, maybe maybe not, maybe not. So 369 00:15:34,560 --> 00:15:36,440 Speaker 2: that's what I did. The day after I made my 370 00:15:36,480 --> 00:15:39,960 Speaker 2: original post. The talk itself didn't go so smoothly, though. 371 00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:42,520 Speaker 2: They got pretty angry. My dad said this was a 372 00:15:42,560 --> 00:15:44,520 Speaker 2: reason why it would have been bad to give me 373 00:15:44,560 --> 00:15:47,400 Speaker 2: part of the business, because I'm selfish and only think 374 00:15:47,440 --> 00:15:50,240 Speaker 2: of myself when he's trying to keep over a dozen 375 00:15:50,280 --> 00:15:51,280 Speaker 2: people employed. 376 00:15:51,680 --> 00:15:53,480 Speaker 3: Well, perfect, you don't have me anymore. You don't have 377 00:15:53,480 --> 00:15:54,080 Speaker 3: to worry about me. 378 00:15:54,440 --> 00:15:55,560 Speaker 1: Yep, there you go. 379 00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:57,720 Speaker 3: I'm working somewhere else now, good yep. 380 00:15:58,120 --> 00:16:00,680 Speaker 1: And you're not selfish for giving it all to the brother. 381 00:16:00,880 --> 00:16:03,080 Speaker 3: Yeah, anything interesting I ever heard of? 382 00:16:03,120 --> 00:16:03,560 Speaker 1: A mirror? 383 00:16:03,720 --> 00:16:06,320 Speaker 2: My brother said, I was basically betraying the family because 384 00:16:06,360 --> 00:16:08,600 Speaker 2: I didn't get something that I didn't really deserve from 385 00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:11,840 Speaker 2: the ouch. I didn't exactly want to stay around them 386 00:16:11,840 --> 00:16:14,400 Speaker 2: anymore after that, so I just walked out early that 387 00:16:14,480 --> 00:16:16,880 Speaker 2: day and decided not to finish the rest of the 388 00:16:16,880 --> 00:16:20,000 Speaker 2: week that I was going to. Later, I called to 389 00:16:20,120 --> 00:16:23,080 Speaker 2: formally accept the job. The equipment we ordered only came 390 00:16:23,120 --> 00:16:25,520 Speaker 2: in last week, so I was basically just been paid 391 00:16:25,560 --> 00:16:27,160 Speaker 2: to stay at home and do nothing for the first 392 00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:30,720 Speaker 2: few weeks. Nice paid time off. 393 00:16:30,520 --> 00:16:31,200 Speaker 1: For a few weeks. 394 00:16:31,280 --> 00:16:33,200 Speaker 3: They already appreciate you more. 395 00:16:33,240 --> 00:16:36,040 Speaker 1: They already do that. Yeah, yeah, man, look at that. 396 00:16:36,360 --> 00:16:38,360 Speaker 2: It was actually nice to have a break from everything 397 00:16:38,400 --> 00:16:40,840 Speaker 2: before diving into work again. It's been pretty great at 398 00:16:40,880 --> 00:16:43,800 Speaker 2: a new place, though. My new workspace is a lot different, 399 00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:47,800 Speaker 2: nicer from my dad's shop. It's wide and open, it 400 00:16:47,800 --> 00:16:50,680 Speaker 2: has air conditioning, assigned parking so when we're fighting for 401 00:16:50,720 --> 00:16:51,359 Speaker 2: a spot. 402 00:16:51,120 --> 00:16:51,760 Speaker 1: On the street. 403 00:16:52,440 --> 00:16:55,119 Speaker 2: The office they gave me isn't huge, but it's also nice. 404 00:16:55,160 --> 00:16:57,080 Speaker 2: Like I said in my previous post, I don't have 405 00:16:57,200 --> 00:16:58,800 Speaker 2: much use for an office, but it's still a nice 406 00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:01,240 Speaker 2: to have a private place to my especially one with 407 00:17:01,720 --> 00:17:04,080 Speaker 2: a mini fridge. Heck, you you can stock it with 408 00:17:04,160 --> 00:17:05,280 Speaker 2: all your favorite snacks. 409 00:17:05,640 --> 00:17:06,000 Speaker 3: Snack. 410 00:17:06,600 --> 00:17:10,160 Speaker 2: Overall, I definitely feel much more appreciated here than I 411 00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:13,639 Speaker 2: ever felt working for my dad. By the way, if 412 00:17:13,680 --> 00:17:17,679 Speaker 2: your dad doesn't appreciate you, or if you just want 413 00:17:17,760 --> 00:17:20,920 Speaker 2: to listen to an entertaining show, either or I would 414 00:17:20,960 --> 00:17:24,560 Speaker 2: go to Spotify, Apple Podcast, iHeart and Search Okay, Storry 415 00:17:24,600 --> 00:17:29,720 Speaker 2: Time and listen to all twenty five hundred of our episodes. Guys, 416 00:17:30,040 --> 00:17:33,280 Speaker 2: you will literally never run out of content to do 417 00:17:33,359 --> 00:17:37,359 Speaker 2: while you're doing the dishes or like homework or whatever, anything. 418 00:17:37,359 --> 00:17:41,280 Speaker 3: Anything, anything, anything your heart desires can be yours if 419 00:17:41,320 --> 00:17:42,320 Speaker 3: you listen to our show. 420 00:17:42,480 --> 00:17:45,600 Speaker 2: That's right, Opie says, speaking of which I haven't talked 421 00:17:45,640 --> 00:17:48,240 Speaker 2: to my dad or brother since and I don't think 422 00:17:48,280 --> 00:17:51,639 Speaker 2: I will. WHOA going no contact, which leads me to 423 00:17:51,720 --> 00:17:54,840 Speaker 2: my next pole, no contact or not. 424 00:17:55,280 --> 00:17:57,800 Speaker 3: I mean, if they're gonna treat you like this, not great. 425 00:17:57,960 --> 00:18:01,320 Speaker 3: I think it could be like limit contact and if 426 00:18:01,359 --> 00:18:03,919 Speaker 3: they continue to be like you're destroying the family, and 427 00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:05,520 Speaker 3: it's like okay, bye. 428 00:18:05,640 --> 00:18:06,160 Speaker 1: I like that. 429 00:18:06,320 --> 00:18:06,840 Speaker 3: Yeah. 430 00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:09,520 Speaker 2: I had heard from Jared that right after I had 431 00:18:09,680 --> 00:18:12,160 Speaker 2: left after talking to them about the job, they had 432 00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:15,240 Speaker 2: called my new boss and tried to tear him from 433 00:18:15,400 --> 00:18:15,960 Speaker 2: hiring me. 434 00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:19,119 Speaker 3: Ooh see, yeah, at that point, I'd be like, I 435 00:18:19,320 --> 00:18:21,960 Speaker 3: don't want to contact people that are actively trying to 436 00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:26,440 Speaker 3: get like not sabotage my job opportunities. 437 00:18:26,800 --> 00:18:29,119 Speaker 1: Let me get the bag dad. 438 00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:31,879 Speaker 3: Bye, come on, I'm not contacting. 439 00:18:32,480 --> 00:18:34,919 Speaker 2: I also heard from a cousin that my dad's business 440 00:18:34,920 --> 00:18:36,960 Speaker 2: isn't doing so well right now and they had to 441 00:18:37,040 --> 00:18:39,679 Speaker 2: let some people go and are downsizing. Some of the 442 00:18:39,680 --> 00:18:42,160 Speaker 2: other clients had shut down their business due to COVID, 443 00:18:42,520 --> 00:18:46,400 Speaker 2: so that combined with losing another big client permanently hit 444 00:18:46,480 --> 00:18:47,480 Speaker 2: them hard. 445 00:18:47,680 --> 00:18:50,080 Speaker 3: So maybe you left a good time right. 446 00:18:50,320 --> 00:18:54,080 Speaker 2: Also, if they had appreciated Op, none of at least 447 00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:56,200 Speaker 2: the peace stuff wouldn't. 448 00:18:55,800 --> 00:18:59,440 Speaker 3: Have happened exactly exactly. You could have sucks to suck. 449 00:19:00,040 --> 00:19:03,520 Speaker 2: I have to imagine they would have come out money ahead, 450 00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:06,880 Speaker 2: giving Op everything he wanted and keeping the clients. 451 00:19:06,960 --> 00:19:08,000 Speaker 3: I absolutely agree. 452 00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:09,160 Speaker 1: I have to imagine. 453 00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:10,680 Speaker 3: I absolutely agree. 454 00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:12,920 Speaker 2: But I'm also not imagining. Some relevant comments from comment 455 00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:15,640 Speaker 2: are number one, congrats on the new job. It's bad 456 00:19:15,680 --> 00:19:18,080 Speaker 2: business to rely so heavily on a single client vendor 457 00:19:18,119 --> 00:19:18,800 Speaker 2: slash product. 458 00:19:19,160 --> 00:19:21,800 Speaker 1: That is your dad and brother's fault. Calling your new. 459 00:19:21,680 --> 00:19:25,480 Speaker 2: Boss to bad mouth you reflects very poorly on them. 460 00:19:25,760 --> 00:19:27,960 Speaker 2: I doubt Jared is going to recommend them to anyone 461 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:31,160 Speaker 2: who needs the service they offer. After that, another good point, 462 00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:34,359 Speaker 2: So yeah, like, yeah, they're just they just keep digging 463 00:19:34,359 --> 00:19:35,200 Speaker 2: their own grades. 464 00:19:34,960 --> 00:19:36,800 Speaker 3: Are Yeah, they're making it worse for themselves. 465 00:19:36,840 --> 00:19:40,080 Speaker 1: My goodness. Enjoy your new office with a mini fridge, 466 00:19:40,359 --> 00:19:44,120 Speaker 1: me jeous who Opie says oll. 467 00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:46,639 Speaker 2: The mini fridge is honestly one of my favorite things 468 00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:49,399 Speaker 2: about the new place. Commuch To number two says, in 469 00:19:49,440 --> 00:19:51,280 Speaker 2: the original post, you said you'd be able to hire 470 00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:53,480 Speaker 2: a couple of people to work under you, any chance 471 00:19:53,520 --> 00:19:55,880 Speaker 2: you can hire two people that were laid off from 472 00:19:55,880 --> 00:20:00,520 Speaker 2: the family business. Opie says, I actually already hire people 473 00:20:00,560 --> 00:20:03,520 Speaker 2: before I found about the layoffs. Okay, too late timing 474 00:20:04,040 --> 00:20:06,280 Speaker 2: day it happens, it happens, two hundred and of three 475 00:20:06,359 --> 00:20:08,600 Speaker 2: says my dad said. This was a reason why it 476 00:20:08,600 --> 00:20:11,040 Speaker 2: would have been bad to give me part of the business, 477 00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:13,800 Speaker 2: because I'm selfish and only think about myself when he's 478 00:20:13,840 --> 00:20:16,800 Speaker 2: trying to keep over a dozen people employed. My brother said, 479 00:20:16,840 --> 00:20:19,680 Speaker 2: I was basically betraying the family because I didn't get 480 00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:22,720 Speaker 2: something that I didn't really deserve from them. They're mixing 481 00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:26,040 Speaker 2: up cause and effect. Business partners are responsible for looking 482 00:20:26,040 --> 00:20:28,560 Speaker 2: out for the well being of the business. Employees are 483 00:20:28,600 --> 00:20:32,160 Speaker 2: responsible for doing a job in return for money. Your 484 00:20:32,240 --> 00:20:36,200 Speaker 2: father and brother made a decision that you're an employee instead. 485 00:20:35,880 --> 00:20:36,760 Speaker 1: Of a business partner. 486 00:20:37,119 --> 00:20:39,440 Speaker 2: That is so true, so true, and now they're mad 487 00:20:39,480 --> 00:20:41,840 Speaker 2: at you for acting like an employee instead of a 488 00:20:41,880 --> 00:20:44,600 Speaker 2: business partner. If they actually wanted you to act in 489 00:20:44,640 --> 00:20:47,080 Speaker 2: the best interest of the business instead of seeking the 490 00:20:47,160 --> 00:20:50,159 Speaker 2: highest pay and best working conditions for the job you 491 00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:52,040 Speaker 2: are paid to do, then they should have cut you 492 00:20:52,119 --> 00:20:54,960 Speaker 2: in as a part owner. So that way, it would 493 00:20:55,040 --> 00:20:59,359 Speaker 2: actually be one of your responsibilities. That is a main point. 494 00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:05,040 Speaker 2: It's if you're being treated like an employee. It's like, well, 495 00:21:05,280 --> 00:21:05,680 Speaker 2: let me. 496 00:21:05,840 --> 00:21:08,000 Speaker 3: Make yea Why does it matter if I leave? Yeah? 497 00:21:08,040 --> 00:21:08,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, Why does it matter. 498 00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:10,720 Speaker 3: If your business is declining? 499 00:21:10,880 --> 00:21:11,120 Speaker 1: Yeah? 500 00:21:11,160 --> 00:21:13,160 Speaker 2: An employee would be like, hey, let me go where 501 00:21:13,200 --> 00:21:15,840 Speaker 2: I'm most appreciated and get the best salary in all 502 00:21:15,840 --> 00:21:16,760 Speaker 2: those things for myself. 503 00:21:17,320 --> 00:21:19,080 Speaker 4: Maybe if I had a say in the business, I 504 00:21:19,080 --> 00:21:20,680 Speaker 4: could have helped you, but I didn't. 505 00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:24,520 Speaker 1: Sorry, come on, come on, how much? 506 00:21:24,520 --> 00:21:26,560 Speaker 2: A number four says It's unfortunate that your dad and 507 00:21:26,600 --> 00:21:30,160 Speaker 2: brother didn't consider the potential consequences of their decision. I'm 508 00:21:30,240 --> 00:21:32,200 Speaker 2: sorry they have chosen to make this all your fault, 509 00:21:32,320 --> 00:21:34,520 Speaker 2: blaming you for looking after yourself and your own future. 510 00:21:34,800 --> 00:21:36,760 Speaker 2: I wish you the best of luck in the new 511 00:21:36,840 --> 00:21:39,520 Speaker 2: job and hope that your family will eventually be able 512 00:21:39,680 --> 00:21:42,159 Speaker 2: to mend things. And that is if for the story. 513 00:21:42,480 --> 00:21:48,400 Speaker 2: What the poll said was ninety five percent no contact. Yep, 514 00:21:48,920 --> 00:21:50,240 Speaker 2: I agree, I agree. 515 00:21:50,320 --> 00:21:50,600 Speaker 1: Yeah. 516 00:21:50,880 --> 00:21:53,080 Speaker 3: I think that at this point they have tried to 517 00:21:53,160 --> 00:21:55,920 Speaker 3: get you fired from your new job. They have told 518 00:21:55,960 --> 00:21:59,399 Speaker 3: you that you broke the family apart. I mean, until 519 00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:03,240 Speaker 3: they are to apologize and recognize that you did nothing 520 00:22:03,320 --> 00:22:05,920 Speaker 3: wrong and they didn't appreciate you, and you found a 521 00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:09,000 Speaker 3: new job that they don't. There's no point in like 522 00:22:09,080 --> 00:22:10,840 Speaker 3: trying to have a conversation with them, because they're just 523 00:22:10,840 --> 00:22:11,439 Speaker 3: gonna yell you. 524 00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:13,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, these are good points. 525 00:22:14,520 --> 00:22:16,880 Speaker 2: I think maybe maybe because I'm just a big old 526 00:22:16,960 --> 00:22:20,840 Speaker 2: mister softy like the ice cream, I would have them 527 00:22:20,880 --> 00:22:22,399 Speaker 2: on very limited contacts. 528 00:22:23,240 --> 00:22:26,480 Speaker 1: But I just thing is that like they've dropped the ball. 529 00:22:26,560 --> 00:22:30,800 Speaker 3: Yeah, Like trying to sabotage his job is pretty pretty 530 00:22:30,800 --> 00:22:32,120 Speaker 3: awful if your own son. 531 00:22:31,960 --> 00:22:35,480 Speaker 2: Don't your own son, Like I could see him being like, look, 532 00:22:35,920 --> 00:22:37,760 Speaker 2: I'm not gonna lie. This really sucks and kind of 533 00:22:37,840 --> 00:22:40,840 Speaker 2: hurts that we're losing this business. However, because I'm your 534 00:22:40,880 --> 00:22:43,000 Speaker 2: father and I love you, I'm so glad that you 535 00:22:43,600 --> 00:22:48,359 Speaker 2: have this good situation. They they treated him not just 536 00:22:48,440 --> 00:22:52,200 Speaker 2: like an employee, but like as a poorly treated him 537 00:22:52,920 --> 00:22:53,840 Speaker 2: as an employee. 538 00:22:53,880 --> 00:22:57,320 Speaker 3: That'd be like if if Kean was leaving the company 539 00:22:57,400 --> 00:23:00,359 Speaker 3: to go work for another YouTube channel, and then we 540 00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:03,400 Speaker 3: went to that YouTube channel and we're like, Keon sucks, 541 00:23:04,040 --> 00:23:04,840 Speaker 3: he's terrible. 542 00:23:05,320 --> 00:23:07,720 Speaker 2: To smire him, I would have to say a lie, 543 00:23:07,760 --> 00:23:10,760 Speaker 2: like he's not the sexiest man I've ever met. He's 544 00:23:10,840 --> 00:23:15,280 Speaker 2: so he's not he's so unsexy. Not his cakes won't 545 00:23:15,400 --> 00:23:16,000 Speaker 2: won't help. 546 00:23:16,800 --> 00:23:17,399 Speaker 1: It's tiny. 547 00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:19,800 Speaker 2: His butt is tiny, tiny, little flat button. I would 548 00:23:19,840 --> 00:23:20,959 Speaker 2: have to go and say, looks. 549 00:23:24,359 --> 00:23:26,480 Speaker 1: Oh. But that's the end of the story, ladies, gentlemen. 550 00:23:26,960 --> 00:23:29,840 Speaker 1: But there's more. 551 00:23:29,960 --> 00:23:30,360 Speaker 3: There's more. 552 00:23:30,680 --> 00:23:32,840 Speaker 1: I see, I see what you do there. There's more stories. 553 00:23:32,840 --> 00:23:34,840 Speaker 3: There's more, and we're going to get into them. So 554 00:23:34,920 --> 00:23:37,520 Speaker 3: let's do it. I refuse to let my mother stay 555 00:23:37,560 --> 00:23:37,800 Speaker 3: with me. 556 00:23:38,440 --> 00:23:39,560 Speaker 1: Get out, mom. 557 00:23:40,119 --> 00:23:42,800 Speaker 3: I'm gonna go through a long timeline of events. But 558 00:23:42,920 --> 00:23:47,239 Speaker 3: to start, my mom isn't the nicest person. Until I 559 00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:49,520 Speaker 3: was like twelve, we never really had a full conversation. 560 00:23:50,240 --> 00:23:51,800 Speaker 3: What type of conversations were you having? 561 00:23:52,080 --> 00:23:55,840 Speaker 4: Hey, mom, Okay, when you get to school, I was 562 00:23:55,920 --> 00:23:58,960 Speaker 4: learning how to do fractions and I thought I was 563 00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:01,600 Speaker 4: pretty cool, but yeah, it was kind difficult. And they 564 00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:04,160 Speaker 4: told me to ask you some questions about the fractions 565 00:24:04,560 --> 00:24:07,560 Speaker 4: to see if if you can help me on my homework. 566 00:24:07,640 --> 00:24:10,439 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's Google that helps it. 567 00:24:10,760 --> 00:24:13,240 Speaker 2: I can't risk saying too many words to otherwise it'll 568 00:24:13,240 --> 00:24:14,959 Speaker 2: become a full conversation. But I've already said too much 569 00:24:14,960 --> 00:24:16,800 Speaker 2: already so I'm leaving goodbye. 570 00:24:16,960 --> 00:24:19,880 Speaker 3: It got worse in twenty twenty my dad had left 571 00:24:19,880 --> 00:24:22,520 Speaker 3: our family and so it was just her, my little sibling, 572 00:24:22,560 --> 00:24:26,119 Speaker 3: and me. That time, I got super sad and didn't shower, 573 00:24:26,320 --> 00:24:29,359 Speaker 3: do the chores, anything like that. This led to my 574 00:24:29,520 --> 00:24:32,119 Speaker 3: rockiest period with my mom. She would yell at me 575 00:24:32,240 --> 00:24:34,080 Speaker 3: to take out the trash or do the dishes, and 576 00:24:34,119 --> 00:24:36,720 Speaker 3: I would just stay in my bed, triggered and even 577 00:24:36,800 --> 00:24:39,199 Speaker 3: less willing to do my chores. By the way, this 578 00:24:39,240 --> 00:24:41,919 Speaker 3: comes from Neither League thirty one sixty three, and if 579 00:24:41,960 --> 00:24:43,440 Speaker 3: you want to submit your own stories, go to the 580 00:24:43,560 --> 00:24:47,240 Speaker 3: r slash Okay, storytime separate it. So, of course that 581 00:24:47,320 --> 00:24:50,040 Speaker 3: isn't really an excuse. But over the past three years, 582 00:24:50,560 --> 00:24:54,119 Speaker 3: I've told my mom explicitly to stop yelling at me 583 00:24:54,520 --> 00:24:57,879 Speaker 3: because it was making my bad habits worse. Every time 584 00:24:58,000 --> 00:25:00,840 Speaker 3: she promised, and then after a few we would be 585 00:25:00,880 --> 00:25:03,919 Speaker 3: back to square one, and sometimes her screams would be 586 00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:07,200 Speaker 3: even more explosive. My last straw was six months ago 587 00:25:07,240 --> 00:25:08,960 Speaker 3: when she started the rule that if we didn't do 588 00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:12,080 Speaker 3: the dishes or throw at the trash, we didn't get food. 589 00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:19,120 Speaker 2: Oh my god, yikes, that's not whole CPS she would buy. 590 00:25:18,920 --> 00:25:21,560 Speaker 3: Groceries for herself, but not for me or my sibling. 591 00:25:21,960 --> 00:25:24,000 Speaker 3: And to be clear, at that time, I was working 592 00:25:24,040 --> 00:25:27,040 Speaker 3: full time with full time college, my sister was still 593 00:25:27,080 --> 00:25:29,960 Speaker 3: in high school doing a bunch of aps and extracurriculars, 594 00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:31,800 Speaker 3: and my mom had quit her job to work on 595 00:25:31,840 --> 00:25:33,359 Speaker 3: an online business at home. 596 00:25:33,960 --> 00:25:38,560 Speaker 1: She her job, you can earn so much by working 597 00:25:38,600 --> 00:25:39,080 Speaker 1: at home. 598 00:25:39,760 --> 00:25:41,919 Speaker 3: It didn't make sense to me why she expected us 599 00:25:41,960 --> 00:25:43,760 Speaker 3: to do all the chores when she was at home 600 00:25:43,760 --> 00:25:46,359 Speaker 3: all the time, then to threaten to take away our 601 00:25:46,440 --> 00:25:49,240 Speaker 3: food for it. At that moment, I knew I wanted 602 00:25:49,240 --> 00:25:51,840 Speaker 3: to leave and never talk to her again. The next 603 00:25:51,840 --> 00:25:54,840 Speaker 3: couple of months were like a fever dream. I stupidly 604 00:25:54,840 --> 00:25:57,320 Speaker 3: blurted out that I was planning to leave, but she 605 00:25:57,359 --> 00:26:00,320 Speaker 3: didn't seem to care. In fact, she passed aggressively said 606 00:26:00,320 --> 00:26:02,560 Speaker 3: that she'll even let my siblings stay with me, and 607 00:26:02,600 --> 00:26:05,760 Speaker 3: that she's only gonna live for herself. That's when she 608 00:26:05,800 --> 00:26:08,920 Speaker 3: went on a two month long business trip. She works 609 00:26:08,920 --> 00:26:12,960 Speaker 3: from home for her own business. During that time, I 610 00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:15,880 Speaker 3: finished signing a lease to a great low income apartment. 611 00:26:16,480 --> 00:26:19,159 Speaker 3: I started to actually relax and see my future again, 612 00:26:19,359 --> 00:26:21,800 Speaker 3: one with me and my sibling in our tiny studio, 613 00:26:22,040 --> 00:26:25,200 Speaker 3: working together to take care of ourselves, inviting friends over, 614 00:26:25,240 --> 00:26:27,520 Speaker 3: et cetera. I learned how to be an adults and 615 00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:30,920 Speaker 3: stuff through my older college friends, advisors and so on. 616 00:26:31,320 --> 00:26:34,359 Speaker 3: I felt so supported and at peace. And you're probably 617 00:26:34,400 --> 00:26:37,280 Speaker 3: doing all those tours right, So there we go. 618 00:26:37,600 --> 00:26:40,520 Speaker 2: Literally, just by living as an adult, you do the 619 00:26:40,600 --> 00:26:41,520 Speaker 2: chores by default. 620 00:26:41,880 --> 00:26:44,760 Speaker 3: When my mom came back, she was calm. I still 621 00:26:44,800 --> 00:26:46,960 Speaker 3: felt so tense around her, but it seemed like she 622 00:26:47,080 --> 00:26:49,520 Speaker 3: mellowed out a lot over the trip, like she wasn't 623 00:26:49,520 --> 00:26:51,399 Speaker 3: getting mad at me for leaving the lights on and 624 00:26:51,440 --> 00:26:53,920 Speaker 3: wasting power. Wait, didn't you move out? 625 00:26:54,119 --> 00:26:56,080 Speaker 1: I don't know when he's visiting or something. 626 00:26:56,160 --> 00:26:59,159 Speaker 3: I yeah, I'm confused. Didn't he be move out and 627 00:26:59,359 --> 00:27:01,520 Speaker 3: you got I thought you got a studio with your sibling? 628 00:27:01,960 --> 00:27:02,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm confused too. 629 00:27:03,119 --> 00:27:05,159 Speaker 3: She bought us take out a lot. Even when I 630 00:27:05,200 --> 00:27:07,800 Speaker 3: still acted upset around her, she would actually back off 631 00:27:08,280 --> 00:27:11,399 Speaker 3: and let me cool down. And finally, this feels really silly, 632 00:27:11,720 --> 00:27:13,800 Speaker 3: but she thanked me for taking care of my sibling 633 00:27:13,840 --> 00:27:17,280 Speaker 3: and commended me for my strength. She said she was proud, 634 00:27:17,560 --> 00:27:20,399 Speaker 3: and I felt validated by her. I still didn't like 635 00:27:20,480 --> 00:27:22,360 Speaker 3: living with her, but I thought maybe I could keep 636 00:27:22,400 --> 00:27:26,040 Speaker 3: contact with her. Then last night happened. This week is 637 00:27:26,080 --> 00:27:29,280 Speaker 3: my finals, and so I've been sleeping from six pm 638 00:27:29,320 --> 00:27:32,960 Speaker 3: to eleven PM, studying from eleven to six am, going 639 00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:36,040 Speaker 3: to class at seven to eleven, and then working between 640 00:27:36,080 --> 00:27:41,520 Speaker 3: twelve to six pm. Dang, that's terrible. I'm absolutely exhausted. 641 00:27:41,600 --> 00:27:43,760 Speaker 3: And because of that, I stupidly forgot I had a 642 00:27:43,800 --> 00:27:45,960 Speaker 3: final tomorrow at the same time we were supposed to 643 00:27:45,960 --> 00:27:48,600 Speaker 3: have movers help us load and unload our rented truck. 644 00:27:48,680 --> 00:27:52,840 Speaker 3: Oh my goodness, I honestly, ope, I think you should 645 00:27:52,840 --> 00:27:56,959 Speaker 3: do It's good? How awful seven eleven because I'm I'm 646 00:27:56,960 --> 00:27:59,439 Speaker 3: assuming you can't have classes. Well, actually no, you might 647 00:27:59,520 --> 00:28:01,920 Speaker 3: be able to from seven to eleven the whole time, 648 00:28:02,480 --> 00:28:04,640 Speaker 3: and then you go to work twelve to six, take 649 00:28:04,680 --> 00:28:09,399 Speaker 3: an hour break, and then do all of your studying, like, 650 00:28:09,440 --> 00:28:12,280 Speaker 3: take an hour nap, do all of your studying from 651 00:28:13,160 --> 00:28:17,440 Speaker 3: like let's say seven, seven thirty to eleven, and then 652 00:28:17,480 --> 00:28:21,640 Speaker 3: go to sleep. Because that your schedule sounds bad. Six 653 00:28:21,680 --> 00:28:24,080 Speaker 3: pm to eleven PM and then studying from eleven to 654 00:28:24,160 --> 00:28:28,720 Speaker 3: six am is insane. That's a bad schedule. Ope, sick, 655 00:28:29,280 --> 00:28:33,280 Speaker 3: that's a bad schedule. Hi, my mom checked in with 656 00:28:33,320 --> 00:28:35,600 Speaker 3: me today and I told her about it. To be honest, 657 00:28:35,640 --> 00:28:37,280 Speaker 3: I didn't think it was a big deal because we 658 00:28:37,359 --> 00:28:40,360 Speaker 3: have different crews helping us load and unload. With my 659 00:28:40,440 --> 00:28:43,160 Speaker 3: mom moving the truck, I wasn't going to be available 660 00:28:43,200 --> 00:28:45,520 Speaker 3: for the loading crew, but we have everything packed, so 661 00:28:45,600 --> 00:28:48,160 Speaker 3: in my mind there was nothing to really coordinate. But 662 00:28:48,320 --> 00:28:51,960 Speaker 3: she completely snapped at me in the same furious, loud 663 00:28:52,040 --> 00:28:55,040 Speaker 3: yelling way. She kept telling me how I promised, Why 664 00:28:55,080 --> 00:28:57,240 Speaker 3: couldn't I just do it anyway? And then we don't 665 00:28:57,240 --> 00:28:59,840 Speaker 3: have much time. She then said she was canceling our 666 00:28:59,840 --> 00:29:03,160 Speaker 3: truck reservation and that I was on my own. FYI, 667 00:29:03,240 --> 00:29:06,240 Speaker 3: I do not have a driver's license. Financial issues and 668 00:29:06,280 --> 00:29:09,000 Speaker 3: depression got in the way, and my mom offered to 669 00:29:09,080 --> 00:29:12,000 Speaker 3: pay and drive the truck to help save costs. Not 670 00:29:12,120 --> 00:29:14,440 Speaker 3: only am I going to lose the money from paying 671 00:29:14,480 --> 00:29:17,840 Speaker 3: for the movers because of this last minute cancelation, but 672 00:29:17,920 --> 00:29:19,880 Speaker 3: we all have less than a week until our lease 673 00:29:19,960 --> 00:29:23,480 Speaker 3: for the current apartment we all live in together until 674 00:29:23,520 --> 00:29:26,960 Speaker 3: that ends. To say that she completely sabotaged me is 675 00:29:26,960 --> 00:29:27,720 Speaker 3: an understatement. 676 00:29:27,880 --> 00:29:29,840 Speaker 1: Yeah. Ope, he's the one paying for What are you 677 00:29:29,840 --> 00:29:30,440 Speaker 1: crying about? It? 678 00:29:30,480 --> 00:29:33,400 Speaker 3: I don't understand she's not even paying. She's not paying 679 00:29:33,440 --> 00:29:33,719 Speaker 3: for it. 680 00:29:33,960 --> 00:29:35,920 Speaker 1: This mom sucks. 681 00:29:36,240 --> 00:29:38,760 Speaker 3: I think you have to like completely move out, like 682 00:29:38,880 --> 00:29:41,840 Speaker 3: don't have any content like or I don't be living 683 00:29:41,840 --> 00:29:44,440 Speaker 3: with your mom at all. Yeah, because you know this 684 00:29:44,480 --> 00:29:45,040 Speaker 3: isn't working. 685 00:29:45,280 --> 00:29:45,880 Speaker 1: I agree. 686 00:29:46,080 --> 00:29:48,280 Speaker 3: I know I'm at fault for messing up my timing, 687 00:29:48,320 --> 00:29:51,800 Speaker 3: but I just couldn't take it anymore. I embarrassingly just 688 00:29:51,840 --> 00:29:55,480 Speaker 3: started screaming like I was being unlived. I broke down, 689 00:29:55,600 --> 00:29:59,760 Speaker 3: ugly crying and wailing. I was pulling my hair out, 690 00:29:59,800 --> 00:30:03,400 Speaker 3: and just crumpled onto the floor. I've never done that before. 691 00:30:03,640 --> 00:30:07,400 Speaker 3: I feel absolutely foolish and dramatic for doing that. This 692 00:30:07,520 --> 00:30:11,160 Speaker 3: leads me to my final point. A week before all this, 693 00:30:11,320 --> 00:30:13,200 Speaker 3: my mom sat me down and asked if she could 694 00:30:13,200 --> 00:30:16,280 Speaker 3: stay with me for the next two months. Wait, I okay, 695 00:30:16,280 --> 00:30:18,920 Speaker 3: so she's not staying with them. Okay, because I was, 696 00:30:19,280 --> 00:30:21,239 Speaker 3: That's what I thought, But then it sounded like she 697 00:30:21,400 --> 00:30:23,560 Speaker 3: was kind of staying with like she's coming over all 698 00:30:23,560 --> 00:30:26,800 Speaker 3: the time. Yeah, so she's not staying with you currently. 699 00:30:27,640 --> 00:30:30,280 Speaker 2: Was it that all of them were moving out of 700 00:30:30,320 --> 00:30:33,360 Speaker 2: the old apartment and then OPI was moving into their 701 00:30:33,400 --> 00:30:35,800 Speaker 2: new apartment and the Mom's like, Hey, now I don't 702 00:30:35,840 --> 00:30:38,920 Speaker 2: have a place to stay, so let me live with 703 00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:40,200 Speaker 2: you for two months. 704 00:30:40,080 --> 00:30:42,840 Speaker 1: Which that probably means for forever for free. 705 00:30:42,960 --> 00:30:45,600 Speaker 3: Okay. So Opie signed Elise to a great low income 706 00:30:45,640 --> 00:30:49,480 Speaker 3: apartment and then they're oh they had it. Yeah, Okay, 707 00:30:49,520 --> 00:30:51,360 Speaker 3: so they hadn't moved in yet. Yeah. 708 00:30:51,440 --> 00:30:53,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, he hadn't moved into They. 709 00:30:52,920 --> 00:30:55,400 Speaker 3: Hadn't moved into the new apartment yet. Yes, that's what 710 00:30:55,400 --> 00:30:57,760 Speaker 3: it seems like, because Opie was like seeing that future 711 00:30:57,760 --> 00:31:00,720 Speaker 3: of being like, Oh, I'm gonna like live with my sibling. 712 00:31:00,840 --> 00:31:04,080 Speaker 3: It's gonna be so great, blah blah blah. So it 713 00:31:04,080 --> 00:31:07,880 Speaker 3: doesn't seem like they have Yes. Yeah, Emily Lame says 714 00:31:07,920 --> 00:31:10,200 Speaker 3: Opie was moving and oh Mom is trying to mooch, 715 00:31:10,240 --> 00:31:13,560 Speaker 3: and when Opie said no, Mom said, I'm not helping you. Okay. Yeah, 716 00:31:12,920 --> 00:31:17,840 Speaker 3: so Opie had not yet moved out. This leads me 717 00:31:17,920 --> 00:31:20,480 Speaker 3: to my final point. A week before all of this, 718 00:31:20,560 --> 00:31:22,440 Speaker 3: my mom sat me down and asked if she could 719 00:31:22,440 --> 00:31:25,680 Speaker 3: stay with me for the next two months. Honestly, my 720 00:31:25,720 --> 00:31:27,880 Speaker 3: hair is pricked up. When she asked. I felt like 721 00:31:27,880 --> 00:31:30,240 Speaker 3: she was starting to invade my space again, and I 722 00:31:30,320 --> 00:31:32,240 Speaker 3: was scared she would ruin the peace and comfort I 723 00:31:32,240 --> 00:31:35,360 Speaker 3: found at my apartment. Again, we were wrong. Apparently they've 724 00:31:35,400 --> 00:31:40,560 Speaker 3: Ope is gone, Opie has moved out. I don't understand. 725 00:31:40,640 --> 00:31:42,120 Speaker 3: I guess is moving to a new place. 726 00:31:42,160 --> 00:31:46,920 Speaker 2: Maybe well maybe maybe they were saying that that was 727 00:31:47,000 --> 00:31:50,320 Speaker 2: like right before the move, But now Opie is at 728 00:31:50,320 --> 00:31:50,960 Speaker 2: their new place. 729 00:31:52,040 --> 00:31:54,840 Speaker 3: I'll keep going. It's a little bit confusing, but if 730 00:31:54,880 --> 00:31:56,959 Speaker 3: I said no, she would have nowhere else to go. 731 00:31:57,360 --> 00:31:59,720 Speaker 3: Ever since she quit her job or savings have depleted, 732 00:31:59,760 --> 00:32:01,960 Speaker 3: and he's even asked for money to help pay bills 733 00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:05,080 Speaker 3: and stuff. And then, because of our relationship was improving, 734 00:32:05,160 --> 00:32:08,480 Speaker 3: I accepted, despite my body screaming to say no. Now 735 00:32:08,520 --> 00:32:10,000 Speaker 3: I don't now. I don't know if I am in 736 00:32:10,040 --> 00:32:13,400 Speaker 3: the mental space to decide, especially after my mental freak out, 737 00:32:13,760 --> 00:32:15,680 Speaker 3: but I need to know whether I should let my 738 00:32:15,720 --> 00:32:18,000 Speaker 3: mom stay with me. I don't think I can mentally 739 00:32:18,040 --> 00:32:20,560 Speaker 3: have her with me for even one more week, but 740 00:32:20,680 --> 00:32:23,000 Speaker 3: my moral compass won't let me fully commit to that. 741 00:32:23,520 --> 00:32:25,080 Speaker 3: We have less than a week. But I'm just not 742 00:32:25,160 --> 00:32:27,200 Speaker 3: ready to sit down and think about it right now. 743 00:32:27,560 --> 00:32:31,160 Speaker 3: So would I be the a hole if I don't 744 00:32:31,240 --> 00:32:33,600 Speaker 3: let my mom stay at my place, even if she 745 00:32:33,680 --> 00:32:37,600 Speaker 3: could become homeless and there is an update, folks. 746 00:32:38,120 --> 00:32:39,400 Speaker 1: Hmm, yeah, so. 747 00:32:39,480 --> 00:32:41,720 Speaker 3: Badpool girl is asked the mom is asking if she 748 00:32:41,720 --> 00:32:44,200 Speaker 3: can move with them. I was just kind of cool, Yeah, 749 00:32:44,240 --> 00:32:45,920 Speaker 3: there's an update, but I was a little bit confused 750 00:32:45,960 --> 00:32:48,400 Speaker 3: because Opie had already moved out to a new place, 751 00:32:48,760 --> 00:32:50,880 Speaker 3: because that's what they said. They said they were staying 752 00:32:50,880 --> 00:32:53,320 Speaker 3: in their new apartment, and so it seems like they're 753 00:32:53,360 --> 00:32:58,640 Speaker 3: once again moving. But regardless, don't move in with your mother? 754 00:32:59,240 --> 00:33:00,000 Speaker 1: Yeah? 755 00:33:00,040 --> 00:33:05,160 Speaker 2: Uh, I mean what about the whole time and everything 756 00:33:05,160 --> 00:33:06,800 Speaker 2: else that she's had a place to live? 757 00:33:06,920 --> 00:33:07,479 Speaker 1: What about that? 758 00:33:07,800 --> 00:33:09,880 Speaker 3: Yeah? She used why does she not? Why is she 759 00:33:09,920 --> 00:33:10,680 Speaker 3: losing that place? 760 00:33:11,000 --> 00:33:13,080 Speaker 1: You know, if you're that doesn't make any sense you're 761 00:33:13,520 --> 00:33:15,000 Speaker 1: of college age. 762 00:33:15,040 --> 00:33:17,280 Speaker 2: Just sounds like so it sounds like for at least 763 00:33:17,280 --> 00:33:21,760 Speaker 2: the past eighteen years and probably longer, she's had some sort. 764 00:33:21,480 --> 00:33:26,880 Speaker 1: Of box like structure for you and her to live in. 765 00:33:27,240 --> 00:33:29,560 Speaker 2: Could she not figure out a plan to get another 766 00:33:29,680 --> 00:33:33,640 Speaker 2: box like structure aka a home to be in? 767 00:33:33,720 --> 00:33:35,120 Speaker 1: And she's a she's a big girl. 768 00:33:35,360 --> 00:33:37,520 Speaker 3: Yeah what did she do with that home? Where did 769 00:33:37,560 --> 00:33:37,800 Speaker 3: it go? 770 00:33:38,200 --> 00:33:40,520 Speaker 1: And the business and the business? What is this? What 771 00:33:40,600 --> 00:33:42,160 Speaker 1: is this online? She quit her job? 772 00:33:42,280 --> 00:33:44,840 Speaker 3: Yeah? Maybe she can get a job if she's so 773 00:33:46,120 --> 00:33:47,760 Speaker 3: you know, low on cash. 774 00:33:47,880 --> 00:33:51,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, this business sounds like she figured out went on 775 00:33:51,160 --> 00:33:53,920 Speaker 2: vacation for two months and then and then that's it. 776 00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:55,680 Speaker 1: She w on a vacation for two months. No wonder 777 00:33:55,720 --> 00:33:56,360 Speaker 1: you had of money. 778 00:33:56,360 --> 00:33:59,080 Speaker 2: You have no job and spent two months on a vacation. Well, 779 00:33:59,680 --> 00:34:01,520 Speaker 2: that that's hard to keep money. 780 00:34:01,520 --> 00:34:05,240 Speaker 3: Then it is, so, I opie, that is not your 781 00:34:05,360 --> 00:34:09,399 Speaker 3: responsibility at all. And your it seems like your living 782 00:34:09,480 --> 00:34:12,880 Speaker 3: situation was going really well with your sibling and like 783 00:34:13,120 --> 00:34:16,000 Speaker 3: not having your mom around. So just remember that, remember 784 00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:18,520 Speaker 3: how good it was. And also, you don't really owe 785 00:34:18,520 --> 00:34:20,360 Speaker 3: your mom anything because she wasn't even feeding you. 786 00:34:20,400 --> 00:34:26,800 Speaker 2: Guys, Simba, remember remember Simba, look to the stars. 787 00:34:27,360 --> 00:34:29,319 Speaker 3: There's an update, though, let's do it. 788 00:34:29,640 --> 00:34:31,480 Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam. We're gonna get back to these stories. 789 00:34:31,480 --> 00:34:33,480 Speaker 2: But here's three bits of ads from our sponsors that 790 00:34:33,560 --> 00:34:34,280 Speaker 2: keep the show alive. 791 00:34:35,040 --> 00:34:37,520 Speaker 3: I'm so used to being ignored a lot of the time, 792 00:34:37,680 --> 00:34:40,319 Speaker 3: even when I had my intense breakdowns, because my mom 793 00:34:40,360 --> 00:34:43,920 Speaker 3: would never react. Either she'd walk away or stare at 794 00:34:43,920 --> 00:34:47,040 Speaker 3: me blankly while I'm a wreck. And after so much 795 00:34:47,080 --> 00:34:51,640 Speaker 3: of that, I think I convinced myself that I was wrong, guilty, shameful, 796 00:34:51,680 --> 00:34:54,560 Speaker 3: and dramatic at the same time, though I also think 797 00:34:54,600 --> 00:34:58,040 Speaker 3: all of the people were right in that deep inside, 798 00:34:58,120 --> 00:35:01,120 Speaker 3: even as I was writing the post, I knew we 799 00:35:01,120 --> 00:35:04,800 Speaker 3: were a toxic and horrible match. As for the update, 800 00:35:04,920 --> 00:35:07,040 Speaker 3: my sister and I are fully moved in now. 801 00:35:07,640 --> 00:35:07,879 Speaker 5: Yay. 802 00:35:08,400 --> 00:35:10,719 Speaker 3: While I did not roll high on loving family, I 803 00:35:10,760 --> 00:35:14,000 Speaker 3: have an exceptional friend group. They all helped me pay 804 00:35:14,080 --> 00:35:16,520 Speaker 3: for the movers and moving truck, while also helping me 805 00:35:16,600 --> 00:35:20,560 Speaker 3: move boxes themselves and comforting me through the mess. Yay, 806 00:35:20,760 --> 00:35:23,759 Speaker 3: this is great. They're the best. This morning, though, I 807 00:35:23,840 --> 00:35:26,080 Speaker 3: woke up with a text from my mom. I think 808 00:35:26,080 --> 00:35:28,520 Speaker 3: I'll just send a screenshot of the whole thing, because honestly, 809 00:35:28,560 --> 00:35:31,120 Speaker 3: I had a hard time reading it. Basically, the whole 810 00:35:31,120 --> 00:35:34,719 Speaker 3: thing was littered with the same frustrations and excuses she's 811 00:35:34,760 --> 00:35:37,600 Speaker 3: had since twenty twenty that I don't seem like I'm 812 00:35:37,640 --> 00:35:40,000 Speaker 3: doing enough. She was tired, and she had a hard 813 00:35:40,040 --> 00:35:43,400 Speaker 3: time controlling her emotions the whole time. I was just 814 00:35:43,440 --> 00:35:46,879 Speaker 3: thinking of every moment she screamed in my face when 815 00:35:46,920 --> 00:35:50,120 Speaker 3: I was literally breaking down on the floor crying, and 816 00:35:50,160 --> 00:35:52,800 Speaker 3: now half the time she apologized, and now one hundred 817 00:35:52,800 --> 00:35:56,279 Speaker 3: percent of the time her promises to change were temporary. 818 00:35:57,239 --> 00:35:58,960 Speaker 3: The worst part is that I just think my mom 819 00:35:59,080 --> 00:36:02,720 Speaker 3: is simply unempathy. Whenever I say something like I'm tired, 820 00:36:02,880 --> 00:36:05,640 Speaker 3: she always responds with it you're tired. You can't be 821 00:36:05,680 --> 00:36:08,200 Speaker 3: as tired as I am. I'm old. If I don't 822 00:36:08,200 --> 00:36:12,279 Speaker 3: do something well or don't know something, oh sorry. If 823 00:36:12,320 --> 00:36:14,799 Speaker 3: I don't do something well or don't know something, she'll 824 00:36:14,840 --> 00:36:18,040 Speaker 3: say something alluding to me being stupid, but claim that 825 00:36:18,160 --> 00:36:20,719 Speaker 3: she never actually called me stupid. And if I ask 826 00:36:20,760 --> 00:36:23,960 Speaker 3: about anything serious that is related to me, especially finances, 827 00:36:24,280 --> 00:36:27,439 Speaker 3: she says, you're too young to understand. Not to mention. 828 00:36:27,600 --> 00:36:29,719 Speaker 3: She does this and then flips around to tell me 829 00:36:29,800 --> 00:36:31,160 Speaker 3: she loves and cares about me. 830 00:36:31,480 --> 00:36:33,800 Speaker 1: Boo oooh. 831 00:36:34,400 --> 00:36:37,600 Speaker 3: This is an understatement. But she is emotionally exhausting to 832 00:36:37,680 --> 00:36:41,520 Speaker 3: be around. But it's never exhausting listening to full episodes 833 00:36:41,560 --> 00:36:44,480 Speaker 3: of stories just like this. Just go to Spotify, Apple 834 00:36:44,480 --> 00:36:47,839 Speaker 3: Podcast for iHeartRadio and search up Okay, storytime. Do there's 835 00:36:47,880 --> 00:36:50,400 Speaker 3: a little bit left to the story? What does OPI do? 836 00:36:51,160 --> 00:36:54,080 Speaker 1: Uh? Well, I hate this Mama, I hate her. I 837 00:36:54,120 --> 00:36:56,399 Speaker 1: hate so much. Yeah. 838 00:36:56,480 --> 00:36:59,200 Speaker 3: Well, K says maybe she's bipolar. I think she kind 839 00:36:59,200 --> 00:37:01,479 Speaker 3: of said she has trouble regulating her emotions, so. 840 00:37:01,880 --> 00:37:04,879 Speaker 2: That could be the case. Yeah, and then maybe unmedicated 841 00:37:04,920 --> 00:37:08,040 Speaker 2: if that's yeah case, absolutely, but yeah, like at the 842 00:37:08,120 --> 00:37:11,279 Speaker 2: end of the day, op doesn't deserve us, op or 843 00:37:11,280 --> 00:37:14,760 Speaker 2: their sibling, No, both don't deserve us. And hey, Opie's 844 00:37:14,760 --> 00:37:16,759 Speaker 2: got a good head on their shoulders. And it can 845 00:37:16,800 --> 00:37:19,960 Speaker 2: be super hard, especially from like your parents in the environment. 846 00:37:19,960 --> 00:37:22,560 Speaker 2: We talk about reality disortion fields and like you know, 847 00:37:22,680 --> 00:37:25,520 Speaker 2: like a partner, I mean you're dating or married to dude, 848 00:37:25,560 --> 00:37:31,080 Speaker 2: your mom, and that's like full you're fully rewired your brain. 849 00:37:31,239 --> 00:37:33,040 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, so it can be hard to kind of 850 00:37:33,080 --> 00:37:35,640 Speaker 1: like and you were so overworked and everything. 851 00:37:35,280 --> 00:37:38,400 Speaker 3: You like, OPI's probably like nineteen maybe Max. 852 00:37:38,560 --> 00:37:41,440 Speaker 2: So much, so much burden on OPI's shoulders, and they're 853 00:37:41,440 --> 00:37:44,080 Speaker 2: handling it so well, and they totally deserve their own 854 00:37:44,080 --> 00:37:47,319 Speaker 2: space and peace and they've you know, done the work. 855 00:37:47,400 --> 00:37:51,120 Speaker 2: They've been going to school, like you've quite literally earned 856 00:37:51,160 --> 00:37:54,240 Speaker 2: that space by you know, doing all of that, taking 857 00:37:54,280 --> 00:37:56,239 Speaker 2: all that responsibility and doing all these things to have it. 858 00:37:56,280 --> 00:37:59,960 Speaker 1: So, yeah, your mom can freaking yeah find her own 859 00:38:00,080 --> 00:38:01,200 Speaker 1: situation exactly. 860 00:38:01,360 --> 00:38:04,080 Speaker 3: She'll figure it out. She'll get a job like you did. 861 00:38:04,560 --> 00:38:10,200 Speaker 3: And also just imagine your current schedule that sucks and 862 00:38:10,239 --> 00:38:14,920 Speaker 3: then putting your mom into it. Oh my god, nightmare, nightmare. 863 00:38:15,840 --> 00:38:18,560 Speaker 3: Not for me, truly. Yeah, she's got her own problems 864 00:38:18,600 --> 00:38:21,399 Speaker 3: to solve, and she's an adult and she'll figure them out. 865 00:38:21,800 --> 00:38:25,319 Speaker 3: Right now, you're literally taking care of your sibling. You 866 00:38:25,360 --> 00:38:27,560 Speaker 3: don't need to take care of your mom too, but 867 00:38:27,600 --> 00:38:30,200 Speaker 3: there's a little bit left a let's do it anyway. 868 00:38:30,280 --> 00:38:32,400 Speaker 3: I have not explicitly told her I won't let her 869 00:38:32,440 --> 00:38:35,560 Speaker 3: anywhere near my apartment because I feel both my energy 870 00:38:35,600 --> 00:38:37,759 Speaker 3: and my tears will be completely drained if I dare 871 00:38:37,800 --> 00:38:40,560 Speaker 3: to even try to talk or respond to her. I've 872 00:38:40,600 --> 00:38:42,680 Speaker 3: let my landlord know, though, so that makes me feel 873 00:38:42,719 --> 00:38:45,799 Speaker 3: more secure about that. She still tries to keep in 874 00:38:45,800 --> 00:38:48,880 Speaker 3: contact with my sibling, which stresses me out. I'm planning 875 00:38:48,880 --> 00:38:50,920 Speaker 3: on opening a secret bank account for them, just in 876 00:38:51,000 --> 00:38:54,960 Speaker 3: case the messages seemed a bit fishy. Great job of me, 877 00:38:55,320 --> 00:38:58,839 Speaker 3: I mean, just like, how mature and how like you're 878 00:38:58,840 --> 00:39:02,080 Speaker 3: doing a great job of being unfortunately a parent, but 879 00:39:02,920 --> 00:39:05,600 Speaker 3: for your sibling's sake, fortunately that they have someone in 880 00:39:05,640 --> 00:39:07,319 Speaker 3: their life that is willing to like take care of 881 00:39:07,320 --> 00:39:10,600 Speaker 3: them when your mom is not stand standing, you know, 882 00:39:11,160 --> 00:39:12,360 Speaker 3: stepping up for you guys. 883 00:39:12,480 --> 00:39:15,600 Speaker 1: Doing You're doing great, op doing great. Shout out to you. 884 00:39:15,680 --> 00:39:19,040 Speaker 3: Yeah, and good luck. Change your sleep schedule. It's bad. Yes, 885 00:39:19,640 --> 00:39:22,360 Speaker 3: stop doing the eleven to six study. That's bad. 886 00:39:22,880 --> 00:39:26,160 Speaker 2: Eleven pm to six am studying is great, especially considering 887 00:39:26,200 --> 00:39:29,120 Speaker 2: that you're already doing all the other stuff during the 888 00:39:29,200 --> 00:39:30,879 Speaker 2: other hours of the day. 889 00:39:31,080 --> 00:39:31,400 Speaker 1: Yeah. 890 00:39:31,520 --> 00:39:36,239 Speaker 3: Time, Yeah, yeah, let's do let's do our two hour 891 00:39:36,280 --> 00:39:39,160 Speaker 3: break study for a couple hours, go sleep. 892 00:39:39,400 --> 00:39:42,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, or even like take half the course load. 893 00:39:42,920 --> 00:39:44,160 Speaker 3: Well, yeah, that's true. 894 00:39:44,239 --> 00:39:46,480 Speaker 2: So you can like yeh, yes, it will take longer 895 00:39:46,680 --> 00:39:49,040 Speaker 2: of course, or or like three you know whatever. 896 00:39:49,120 --> 00:39:51,520 Speaker 1: You can decide what the sliding scale is. 897 00:39:51,520 --> 00:39:54,319 Speaker 2: But if it's half the courseload, you get like a 898 00:39:54,360 --> 00:39:57,520 Speaker 2: lot of that time back, and it's way ward pressure 899 00:39:57,560 --> 00:40:00,000 Speaker 2: and yeah, it's it's too much for one one person. 900 00:40:00,440 --> 00:40:02,160 Speaker 3: Well that was the end of that story. 901 00:40:02,600 --> 00:40:06,239 Speaker 2: That's the end of that story. But Sophia, we've got 902 00:40:06,280 --> 00:40:09,080 Speaker 2: another story. We've got around a story coming up. My 903 00:40:09,200 --> 00:40:12,040 Speaker 2: mother abandoned me to raise another man's children. 904 00:40:12,600 --> 00:40:16,040 Speaker 3: Uh, hold on, come back here, parent me. 905 00:40:17,040 --> 00:40:19,919 Speaker 2: My twenty two father, seventy six male at the time 906 00:40:19,960 --> 00:40:23,560 Speaker 2: of his passing, married his first wife at a young age. 907 00:40:23,600 --> 00:40:26,120 Speaker 2: They had one son, my brother, now fifty eight male, 908 00:40:26,680 --> 00:40:31,520 Speaker 2: whoa twenty two and fifty eight day rata. 909 00:40:32,080 --> 00:40:34,280 Speaker 1: That might be the furthest siblings were. 910 00:40:34,200 --> 00:40:35,919 Speaker 3: Twenty two and fifty eight. 911 00:40:36,280 --> 00:40:37,520 Speaker 1: Wow. Wow wow. 912 00:40:38,440 --> 00:40:41,560 Speaker 2: My father's family comes from old money, so after his parents' 913 00:40:41,640 --> 00:40:44,200 Speaker 2: death when my brother was little, my dad inherited a 914 00:40:44,320 --> 00:40:47,719 Speaker 2: sizable fortune. The wife passed away when my brother was 915 00:40:47,840 --> 00:40:51,200 Speaker 2: nineteen years old. By the way, this comes from thurrow Away, Pippy, 916 00:40:51,239 --> 00:40:52,680 Speaker 2: And if you want to submit your own stories, go 917 00:40:52,719 --> 00:40:56,680 Speaker 2: to the r slash Okay, storytime subredits. So after around 918 00:40:56,960 --> 00:41:00,879 Speaker 2: seventeen years after his first wife's passing, my dad met 919 00:41:00,920 --> 00:41:04,240 Speaker 2: my mom, forty seven female, and after a year of dating, 920 00:41:04,320 --> 00:41:06,520 Speaker 2: they got married. At the time of their wedding, my 921 00:41:06,600 --> 00:41:09,319 Speaker 2: dad was fifty three and my mom was twenty four. 922 00:41:09,840 --> 00:41:11,640 Speaker 1: Okay, wow. 923 00:41:12,040 --> 00:41:14,279 Speaker 2: I think it's important for the context of story to 924 00:41:14,320 --> 00:41:18,360 Speaker 2: specifically note their age difference, as it's caused some resentment. 925 00:41:18,920 --> 00:41:21,000 Speaker 3: I can imagine why there. 926 00:41:21,040 --> 00:41:24,320 Speaker 2: It is particularly in my older brother, who is eleven 927 00:41:24,400 --> 00:41:26,360 Speaker 2: years older than my mother. 928 00:41:26,719 --> 00:41:32,160 Speaker 5: Ooh ooh, yeah, the fifty eight year old when your 929 00:41:32,400 --> 00:41:36,360 Speaker 5: old stepson is eleven years older than you stuff, that's 930 00:41:36,680 --> 00:41:37,399 Speaker 5: tough man. 931 00:41:37,920 --> 00:41:40,200 Speaker 1: That's wow. Oh wow. 932 00:41:40,400 --> 00:41:42,319 Speaker 2: I was born soon after their wedding, and when I 933 00:41:42,360 --> 00:41:45,000 Speaker 2: was around two months old, my mom essentially packed her 934 00:41:45,040 --> 00:41:47,040 Speaker 2: bags and left my father and me. 935 00:41:47,600 --> 00:41:48,920 Speaker 1: Whoa wow. 936 00:41:49,080 --> 00:41:51,200 Speaker 2: That was all I knew of the story until my 937 00:41:51,280 --> 00:41:54,880 Speaker 2: father passed away thereafter. I was solely raised by my father, 938 00:41:54,960 --> 00:41:57,839 Speaker 2: and we had a fantastic relationship. He was a great 939 00:41:57,920 --> 00:42:00,000 Speaker 2: dad and tried his best to give me everything he could. 940 00:42:00,000 --> 00:42:03,240 Speaker 2: But one thing you refused throughout my childhood was talking 941 00:42:03,239 --> 00:42:06,080 Speaker 2: about my mother in any way. He never bad mouthed there, 942 00:42:06,320 --> 00:42:09,000 Speaker 2: but he also never said anything substantial that would give 943 00:42:09,000 --> 00:42:11,319 Speaker 2: me any clue about what kind of person she was. 944 00:42:11,880 --> 00:42:14,719 Speaker 2: My brother and I had a complicated relationship. He was 945 00:42:14,760 --> 00:42:20,080 Speaker 2: always respectful and friendful towards me, but also distance well understandably. 946 00:42:20,239 --> 00:42:24,520 Speaker 3: So yeah, to be fair, there's more than twenty years 947 00:42:24,560 --> 00:42:28,520 Speaker 3: of difference between you guys. So he's not I mean, 948 00:42:28,560 --> 00:42:31,600 Speaker 3: like it would be weird. Yeah, Like maybe he could 949 00:42:31,640 --> 00:42:33,240 Speaker 3: be kind of like uncle brother. 950 00:42:33,760 --> 00:42:36,400 Speaker 1: I think I think he should be an uncle brother. 951 00:42:36,560 --> 00:42:38,840 Speaker 3: Yeah, he could be an uncle brother. But yeah, it 952 00:42:38,840 --> 00:42:42,160 Speaker 3: makes sense that you guys don't have like a sibling relationship. Yeah, 953 00:42:42,160 --> 00:42:45,600 Speaker 3: the man who's let's go get some dinner significantly older 954 00:42:45,600 --> 00:42:45,880 Speaker 3: than you. 955 00:42:46,239 --> 00:42:50,120 Speaker 1: And yeah, this is like you're five and he's forty. 956 00:42:50,360 --> 00:42:56,839 Speaker 3: Yeah, he's like, hey, kid, what do you like to 957 00:42:57,000 --> 00:43:01,520 Speaker 3: do for fun? Why did day? And then you go 958 00:43:01,680 --> 00:43:04,880 Speaker 3: like you're driving around your little this little baby, and 959 00:43:04,920 --> 00:43:06,800 Speaker 3: you're like, yeah, this is my sibling. 960 00:43:06,600 --> 00:43:08,160 Speaker 1: Right, that's crazy. 961 00:43:08,200 --> 00:43:11,319 Speaker 2: We've never had a brotherly sisterly relationship, which in a 962 00:43:11,320 --> 00:43:14,160 Speaker 2: way is expected since he is thirty six years older 963 00:43:14,200 --> 00:43:14,440 Speaker 2: than me. 964 00:43:14,800 --> 00:43:16,840 Speaker 1: So crazy through him. 965 00:43:16,960 --> 00:43:20,040 Speaker 2: I also have two nephews and a niece twenty nine, 966 00:43:20,080 --> 00:43:21,400 Speaker 2: twenty seven, and twenty. 967 00:43:21,160 --> 00:43:23,360 Speaker 1: Four, all of whom are older. 968 00:43:23,680 --> 00:43:27,399 Speaker 2: That's great, and we'd had more of a cousin type relationship. 969 00:43:28,120 --> 00:43:30,920 Speaker 2: My brother and my father had a very strange relationship. 970 00:43:30,960 --> 00:43:33,359 Speaker 2: I later learned this was due to the resentment my 971 00:43:33,400 --> 00:43:37,400 Speaker 2: brother held over our father for marrying my mother. Fair 972 00:43:37,800 --> 00:43:40,040 Speaker 2: As said before, I had no contact with my mother 973 00:43:40,200 --> 00:43:43,200 Speaker 2: or any member of her family for my entire childhood. 974 00:43:43,560 --> 00:43:47,160 Speaker 2: Besides my father, brother and his family, the only family 975 00:43:47,480 --> 00:43:50,520 Speaker 2: was my aunt. In November twenty nineteen, my father was 976 00:43:50,560 --> 00:43:53,840 Speaker 2: diagnosed with stage four lung cancer. It was advanced and 977 00:43:54,000 --> 00:43:57,400 Speaker 2: very aggressive. Although he went through extensive treatment, he passed 978 00:43:57,400 --> 00:44:01,200 Speaker 2: away last January, which devastated me. We were extremely close 979 00:44:01,239 --> 00:44:03,520 Speaker 2: and I still can't believe he's gone. He left some 980 00:44:03,560 --> 00:44:07,080 Speaker 2: of his money to my aunt and my nephews and nieces, 981 00:44:07,440 --> 00:44:10,560 Speaker 2: but most of it was split evenly between my brother 982 00:44:10,880 --> 00:44:14,000 Speaker 2: and myself. After my dad's passing, I was dealing with 983 00:44:14,040 --> 00:44:16,840 Speaker 2: some anxiety. One of the fears I particularly harbored was 984 00:44:16,840 --> 00:44:20,080 Speaker 2: the fear of being left alone and abandoned. I had 985 00:44:20,160 --> 00:44:22,719 Speaker 2: my aunt, but she was also poor in health, and 986 00:44:22,760 --> 00:44:24,920 Speaker 2: if anything happened to her, I was really afraid that 987 00:44:24,960 --> 00:44:27,319 Speaker 2: I would be left alone. I didn't think my brother 988 00:44:27,320 --> 00:44:31,000 Speaker 2: would be particularly inclined to upkeeping our relationship, but I 989 00:44:31,080 --> 00:44:31,680 Speaker 2: was very wrong. 990 00:44:31,840 --> 00:44:33,160 Speaker 1: Oh, my brother and his. 991 00:44:33,120 --> 00:44:35,799 Speaker 2: Wife, fifty six female, stepped up and in a way 992 00:44:36,239 --> 00:44:40,200 Speaker 2: assumed a sort of parental role, maybe because they're thirty 993 00:44:40,280 --> 00:44:41,640 Speaker 2: six years older than you. 994 00:44:41,920 --> 00:44:44,279 Speaker 3: As their parent age sister. 995 00:44:44,040 --> 00:44:45,960 Speaker 2: In law has been very keen on in concluding me 996 00:44:46,000 --> 00:44:48,040 Speaker 2: in their family life and has been calling me and 997 00:44:48,120 --> 00:44:48,919 Speaker 2: visiting very often. 998 00:44:49,000 --> 00:44:51,239 Speaker 3: I love that. I mean, yeah, he had this complicated 999 00:44:51,239 --> 00:44:56,279 Speaker 3: relationship with his dad because of your mom, very rightfully so, 1000 00:44:57,160 --> 00:45:00,000 Speaker 3: but has not let that bleed into his relationship with you. 1001 00:45:00,200 --> 00:45:04,080 Speaker 1: Don't carry it over into the children. 1002 00:45:04,200 --> 00:45:04,719 Speaker 3: Don't do it. 1003 00:45:04,920 --> 00:45:07,319 Speaker 2: We've seen this with the fair babies, yeap, where people 1004 00:45:07,320 --> 00:45:10,319 Speaker 2: are like, oh, it's a baby as. 1005 00:45:10,239 --> 00:45:13,760 Speaker 3: A baby, it's a person who literally baby did nothing 1006 00:45:13,760 --> 00:45:16,200 Speaker 3: wrong and did nothing that as a baby. That baby 1007 00:45:16,200 --> 00:45:18,319 Speaker 3: doesn't even know what you're talking about. 1008 00:45:18,520 --> 00:45:22,000 Speaker 2: That's correct, it's a baby because babies don't speak words. 1009 00:45:22,040 --> 00:45:22,880 Speaker 3: Babies are dumb. 1010 00:45:23,160 --> 00:45:25,440 Speaker 1: They speak babbel. Yep. 1011 00:45:25,840 --> 00:45:27,960 Speaker 2: Now I couldn't be more grateful, and we've established a 1012 00:45:27,960 --> 00:45:31,600 Speaker 2: close relationship. The core of my problem, however, appeared at 1013 00:45:31,640 --> 00:45:33,840 Speaker 2: my father's funeral back in January. 1014 00:45:34,120 --> 00:45:35,160 Speaker 1: My father had lots. 1015 00:45:35,000 --> 00:45:38,680 Speaker 2: Of friends, what he called associates, so my brother decided 1016 00:45:38,719 --> 00:45:41,399 Speaker 2: to hold an open funeral so that everyone could come 1017 00:45:41,440 --> 00:45:42,640 Speaker 2: and say goodbye to my father. 1018 00:45:43,239 --> 00:45:46,879 Speaker 1: Well, my mother appeared. Hey, it's John here. We're gonna 1019 00:45:46,880 --> 00:45:47,520 Speaker 1: get back to the stories. 1020 00:45:47,560 --> 00:45:49,560 Speaker 2: Put a quick three minute ad break from our sponsors 1021 00:45:49,560 --> 00:45:50,399 Speaker 2: that keep the show going. 1022 00:45:51,120 --> 00:45:56,680 Speaker 3: Whoa what girl, you've been gone for years? What are 1023 00:45:56,719 --> 00:45:57,359 Speaker 3: you doing here? 1024 00:45:57,960 --> 00:46:02,080 Speaker 1: Wow? With her entire family? 1025 00:46:02,600 --> 00:46:05,160 Speaker 3: Oh, I would be so upsessed. 1026 00:46:05,320 --> 00:46:09,760 Speaker 2: Yeah, which again, Oh, to remind everyone, the mom's entire 1027 00:46:09,880 --> 00:46:14,879 Speaker 2: family never saw, spoke, had any interaction with Ope whatsoever. 1028 00:46:15,320 --> 00:46:17,719 Speaker 3: And also I think she was twenty four when she 1029 00:46:17,719 --> 00:46:22,640 Speaker 3: had opee, right, yeah, not young enough to be like ah, 1030 00:46:22,840 --> 00:46:24,960 Speaker 3: I like I needed to or like, you know, not 1031 00:46:25,000 --> 00:46:27,520 Speaker 3: that anyone should ever abandon the child, but like you know, 1032 00:46:27,680 --> 00:46:29,839 Speaker 3: usually when you're younger, that is, it's like, okay, well 1033 00:46:29,880 --> 00:46:31,839 Speaker 3: she was so young and like blah blah blah. 1034 00:46:31,920 --> 00:46:33,759 Speaker 1: When never she's twenty four. 1035 00:46:34,080 --> 00:46:36,440 Speaker 3: Yeah, she decided to have a kid, and then she 1036 00:46:36,480 --> 00:46:39,040 Speaker 3: abandoned that kid and then had more kids. Never once 1037 00:46:39,320 --> 00:46:40,960 Speaker 3: came back. Why are you here? 1038 00:46:41,600 --> 00:46:43,760 Speaker 1: I know another woman who's twenty four years old. 1039 00:46:43,920 --> 00:46:45,759 Speaker 3: I'm not having a good children. 1040 00:46:47,280 --> 00:46:50,399 Speaker 2: Well, my mother appeared with her entire family, and when 1041 00:46:50,520 --> 00:46:53,319 Speaker 2: I say her entire family, I mean it. 1042 00:46:53,920 --> 00:46:54,920 Speaker 1: I didn't recognize her. 1043 00:46:55,040 --> 00:46:57,120 Speaker 2: I've only seen some photos of her, but my brother's 1044 00:46:57,200 --> 00:47:00,400 Speaker 2: reactions soon made me realize it was her. I didn't 1045 00:47:00,400 --> 00:47:02,840 Speaker 2: recognize any of the other people that came with Amber, 1046 00:47:02,920 --> 00:47:05,839 Speaker 2: my mother's name, but was later told about them by 1047 00:47:05,880 --> 00:47:10,880 Speaker 2: my aunt. Amber brought her husband, children, her parents' siblings, 1048 00:47:10,920 --> 00:47:15,080 Speaker 2: and their families. My god, we're talking like probably like 1049 00:47:15,440 --> 00:47:17,000 Speaker 2: twenty thirty plus people. 1050 00:47:17,040 --> 00:47:21,160 Speaker 3: To your ex husband's funeral that you haven't seen in 1051 00:47:21,280 --> 00:47:23,880 Speaker 3: ten twenty twenty four years, four years, two and a 1052 00:47:23,920 --> 00:47:26,240 Speaker 3: half decade. What huh? 1053 00:47:26,280 --> 00:47:28,560 Speaker 1: Moreover, her husband's family also came. 1054 00:47:29,120 --> 00:47:32,319 Speaker 3: They come that just does? She was like, Hey, do 1055 00:47:32,320 --> 00:47:34,600 Speaker 3: you guys all want to come to my ex husband's funeral? 1056 00:47:35,080 --> 00:47:37,000 Speaker 3: Thought it could be like a fun outing. There's gonna 1057 00:47:37,040 --> 00:47:40,160 Speaker 3: be drinks, it's gonna be a nice tip. Maybe we 1058 00:47:40,200 --> 00:47:42,040 Speaker 3: could go get dinner afterwards. 1059 00:47:42,280 --> 00:47:46,399 Speaker 2: Love little or nerves. We can wear the best blackout fits. Good, No, 1060 00:47:46,800 --> 00:47:49,200 Speaker 2: don't do that. My brother was pissed and wanted to 1061 00:47:49,200 --> 00:47:51,800 Speaker 2: throw them out, but sister in law convinced them otherwise. 1062 00:47:52,200 --> 00:47:54,240 Speaker 2: I have to say I didn't know how to react 1063 00:47:54,239 --> 00:47:56,279 Speaker 2: at that point. I think I glanced their way A 1064 00:47:56,280 --> 00:47:59,760 Speaker 2: couple of times. After the funeral's over, Mom came towards 1065 00:47:59,840 --> 00:48:03,440 Speaker 2: us with her husband and tried to give her condolence. 1066 00:48:03,600 --> 00:48:06,879 Speaker 3: The audacity to literally come over and be like, hey, 1067 00:48:07,000 --> 00:48:11,920 Speaker 3: sorry for your loss. I'd be like, Mom, mama, Mama, 1068 00:48:12,680 --> 00:48:14,440 Speaker 3: haven't seen you in twenty four years. 1069 00:48:15,040 --> 00:48:17,719 Speaker 1: You're not You can you can keep it? 1070 00:48:17,880 --> 00:48:19,640 Speaker 3: Yeah, you keep that title. I don't want it. 1071 00:48:19,920 --> 00:48:20,360 Speaker 1: You can. 1072 00:48:21,120 --> 00:48:25,640 Speaker 2: I mean, it would already be a lot to reach out, 1073 00:48:25,760 --> 00:48:27,640 Speaker 2: you know, outside of the far and be like, yeah, hey, 1074 00:48:27,680 --> 00:48:28,680 Speaker 2: I messed up with that. 1075 00:48:28,840 --> 00:48:31,919 Speaker 3: But she's not even addressing it. She's not even like, hey, child, 1076 00:48:32,000 --> 00:48:33,479 Speaker 3: who I haven't seen ever. 1077 00:48:33,960 --> 00:48:36,360 Speaker 2: She's like, c up, sorry about your dad, sorry to 1078 00:48:36,719 --> 00:48:40,239 Speaker 2: oops Oopsie, sorry abandoned you, Oopsie. But my brother told 1079 00:48:40,320 --> 00:48:42,640 Speaker 2: her to leave, that she was not welcome and to 1080 00:48:42,680 --> 00:48:45,439 Speaker 2: not come close to us ever. Again, I didn't speak 1081 00:48:45,480 --> 00:48:47,520 Speaker 2: with her or any member of her party when she 1082 00:48:47,560 --> 00:48:50,240 Speaker 2: came over. I sort of partially hid behind my nephew. 1083 00:48:50,560 --> 00:48:52,480 Speaker 2: At one point, I think she tried to say something 1084 00:48:52,480 --> 00:48:54,319 Speaker 2: to me, but my brother shut her down. He was 1085 00:48:54,360 --> 00:48:57,640 Speaker 2: pretty rude, but I think it was in a way understandable. 1086 00:48:57,840 --> 00:49:01,840 Speaker 2: When people do things that that are terrible, it is 1087 00:49:01,920 --> 00:49:04,279 Speaker 2: acceptable to get frustrated and mad at them. 1088 00:49:04,400 --> 00:49:05,160 Speaker 3: I agree. 1089 00:49:05,440 --> 00:49:07,080 Speaker 1: I concur that is acceptable. 1090 00:49:07,160 --> 00:49:09,920 Speaker 3: Yeah, could be nice to you when you were awful. 1091 00:49:10,080 --> 00:49:10,640 Speaker 1: Yeah. 1092 00:49:10,680 --> 00:49:12,759 Speaker 3: And also I appreciate that your brother's standing up for you. 1093 00:49:13,040 --> 00:49:15,520 Speaker 3: This is true once again, he is being much more 1094 00:49:15,560 --> 00:49:18,720 Speaker 3: of a parent than your mother literally ever was because 1095 00:49:18,760 --> 00:49:21,160 Speaker 3: she wasn't even at all any sort of parent or 1096 00:49:21,200 --> 00:49:23,480 Speaker 3: any sort of figure in your life. 1097 00:49:23,680 --> 00:49:24,200 Speaker 1: There you have it. 1098 00:49:24,760 --> 00:49:27,520 Speaker 2: I think I tried to ask my brother questions about mom, 1099 00:49:27,760 --> 00:49:30,239 Speaker 2: but he refused to talk. So I convinced my aunt. 1100 00:49:30,560 --> 00:49:32,719 Speaker 2: Seeing my mother and her new children made me want 1101 00:49:32,760 --> 00:49:35,480 Speaker 2: to know why she left me. I was half expecting 1102 00:49:35,760 --> 00:49:38,400 Speaker 2: that Aunt would also be hating Mom, but she seemed 1103 00:49:38,440 --> 00:49:40,879 Speaker 2: convinced that my mom cared for my father when they 1104 00:49:40,880 --> 00:49:44,320 Speaker 2: first met, but that after they married realized the impact 1105 00:49:44,360 --> 00:49:47,280 Speaker 2: their age difference had on their married life. I learned 1106 00:49:47,280 --> 00:49:49,719 Speaker 2: that while my mom was pregnant with me, she met 1107 00:49:50,480 --> 00:49:54,440 Speaker 2: x mom's current husband, fifty two male I'm gonna call 1108 00:49:54,480 --> 00:49:55,680 Speaker 2: him Xander. 1109 00:49:55,840 --> 00:49:58,560 Speaker 3: Ooh, Xander called Xander. 1110 00:49:59,600 --> 00:50:01,480 Speaker 1: Who I was working close to. My father. 1111 00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:04,239 Speaker 2: Mom's new husband was married at the time and had 1112 00:50:04,320 --> 00:50:07,560 Speaker 2: three children, but his wife was very sickly and passed 1113 00:50:07,560 --> 00:50:10,839 Speaker 2: away at one point during my mother's pregnancy. After I 1114 00:50:10,840 --> 00:50:14,279 Speaker 2: was born, my mother suffered postpartum depression and left with 1115 00:50:14,400 --> 00:50:15,959 Speaker 2: Xander when I was two months old. 1116 00:50:16,080 --> 00:50:18,960 Speaker 3: Well, now I'm feeling like there was some overlap between 1117 00:50:19,000 --> 00:50:24,319 Speaker 3: the sick wife's passing and Xander and Opie's mom's relationship. 1118 00:50:24,440 --> 00:50:27,919 Speaker 2: It's definitely, I mean two months after he was born. 1119 00:50:27,960 --> 00:50:31,239 Speaker 2: I mean that's and she just it wasn't like oh, 1120 00:50:31,320 --> 00:50:34,839 Speaker 2: I like, for instance, divorced before the baby came out, 1121 00:50:34,880 --> 00:50:38,319 Speaker 2: and then after by no, she left she familyft with Zane. 1122 00:50:38,400 --> 00:50:40,719 Speaker 3: I mean yeah, so they were absolutely had some sort 1123 00:50:40,719 --> 00:50:41,600 Speaker 3: of relationship before. 1124 00:50:41,680 --> 00:50:44,160 Speaker 2: You don't leave with someone that you don't know, and 1125 00:50:44,160 --> 00:50:45,920 Speaker 2: that's that's not the beginning of their relationships. 1126 00:50:46,120 --> 00:50:46,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's just not. 1127 00:50:46,920 --> 00:50:49,000 Speaker 2: My brother hated my mother and believed she was a 1128 00:50:49,040 --> 00:50:52,120 Speaker 2: gold digger, but my aunt assured me that my mom 1129 00:50:52,320 --> 00:50:56,280 Speaker 2: never demanded or got any money. After Dad and her divorced. 1130 00:50:56,840 --> 00:51:00,279 Speaker 2: Last aunt heard my mom married her new husband soon after. 1131 00:51:00,719 --> 00:51:03,040 Speaker 2: Just real quick, Yeah, maybe she's not a gold digger, 1132 00:51:03,080 --> 00:51:04,680 Speaker 2: but she also is. 1133 00:51:04,680 --> 00:51:05,320 Speaker 3: Not a good person. 1134 00:51:05,440 --> 00:51:08,520 Speaker 1: Left you. And yes, she had postpartum depression, which. 1135 00:51:08,320 --> 00:51:12,200 Speaker 2: Is very real, absolutely very serious and deserves you know, 1136 00:51:12,280 --> 00:51:15,080 Speaker 2: deserve a lot of support and treatment and all of those. 1137 00:51:15,200 --> 00:51:17,440 Speaker 3: Did she have postpartum depression for twenty four years? 1138 00:51:17,880 --> 00:51:20,560 Speaker 1: That part, that part make a mistake. Got owned up 1139 00:51:20,560 --> 00:51:20,799 Speaker 1: to it. 1140 00:51:21,880 --> 00:51:24,680 Speaker 2: She gave up all her parental rights after the divorce 1141 00:51:24,760 --> 00:51:28,520 Speaker 2: and also refused visitations my god. I asked aunt if 1142 00:51:28,520 --> 00:51:31,040 Speaker 2: mom ever tried to initiate a contact while I was 1143 00:51:31,080 --> 00:51:34,600 Speaker 2: growing up. She didn't, but her younger sister tried to 1144 00:51:34,640 --> 00:51:37,160 Speaker 2: see me twice when I was six and ten, but 1145 00:51:37,280 --> 00:51:39,560 Speaker 2: my father refused that. 1146 00:51:39,080 --> 00:51:43,320 Speaker 3: That is actually rough, that's rough that the aunt tried 1147 00:51:43,440 --> 00:51:46,400 Speaker 3: to go in cop because she probably wanted to have 1148 00:51:46,400 --> 00:51:48,799 Speaker 3: a relationship with her niece. Yeah, and then the father 1149 00:51:48,960 --> 00:51:51,520 Speaker 3: was like, no, like what that's that's her aunt. 1150 00:51:51,880 --> 00:51:54,000 Speaker 1: And I have to say this hurt me a lot. 1151 00:51:54,320 --> 00:51:56,960 Speaker 2: It was one thing knowing that she left, but another 1152 00:51:57,080 --> 00:51:59,120 Speaker 2: to know that she left to be with another man 1153 00:51:59,320 --> 00:52:01,879 Speaker 2: and his children. I searched her on Facebook and saw 1154 00:52:02,000 --> 00:52:06,040 Speaker 2: that she had three children with Xander and also considers 1155 00:52:06,280 --> 00:52:08,120 Speaker 2: his three children hers. 1156 00:52:08,920 --> 00:52:12,120 Speaker 1: In some posts, they refer to her as a mom. 1157 00:52:13,640 --> 00:52:19,480 Speaker 1: But you weren't a mom for your yeah, iological first daughter. 1158 00:52:19,520 --> 00:52:22,960 Speaker 3: I mean four years, Opie. It is really awful and 1159 00:52:23,040 --> 00:52:27,520 Speaker 3: your mom does not deserve any of your you know, forgiveness. 1160 00:52:28,640 --> 00:52:30,520 Speaker 3: But I do think it's important to note that, like, 1161 00:52:30,560 --> 00:52:33,240 Speaker 3: you have your brother, and you have your brother's family 1162 00:52:33,800 --> 00:52:36,759 Speaker 3: who all love you and all support you and all 1163 00:52:36,800 --> 00:52:40,040 Speaker 3: care about you, and so that is not nothing. Yes, 1164 00:52:40,680 --> 00:52:43,280 Speaker 3: but still obviously her is a lot. 1165 00:52:43,239 --> 00:52:46,880 Speaker 2: And especially I think the coming up at the funeral 1166 00:52:47,120 --> 00:52:50,680 Speaker 2: for such a loop so disgusting. 1167 00:52:50,880 --> 00:52:53,239 Speaker 3: Yeah, like that's terrible behavior. Who does that? 1168 00:52:53,520 --> 00:52:57,239 Speaker 2: God, who freakin does that? I was pretty hurt, so 1169 00:52:57,320 --> 00:52:59,319 Speaker 2: I left it at that. In a way, I kind 1170 00:52:59,320 --> 00:53:01,400 Speaker 2: of forgot about it until March when a girl with 1171 00:53:01,440 --> 00:53:04,320 Speaker 2: a familiar name followed me on Instagram, so I recognized 1172 00:53:04,320 --> 00:53:07,759 Speaker 2: her instantly. As a step sibling. I was confused, why 1173 00:53:07,760 --> 00:53:09,879 Speaker 2: would she follow me? I did not follow her back. 1174 00:53:10,400 --> 00:53:12,319 Speaker 2: During the next couple of months, I got followed on 1175 00:53:12,360 --> 00:53:15,640 Speaker 2: Instagram by other members of my mom's family, her children, 1176 00:53:15,880 --> 00:53:19,920 Speaker 2: nephew's nieces. Even her mother followed me the grandmother what. 1177 00:53:20,480 --> 00:53:23,279 Speaker 2: I never followed back, nor did we ever strike a conversation. 1178 00:53:24,000 --> 00:53:26,439 Speaker 2: Some of them liked some of my pictures, but never 1179 00:53:26,560 --> 00:53:29,560 Speaker 2: anything beyond that. I didn't tell anyone about this, nor 1180 00:53:29,600 --> 00:53:32,520 Speaker 2: did I have any intention of initiating any conversation with them. 1181 00:53:32,920 --> 00:53:35,960 Speaker 2: But a week ago I was followed by my mom, Oh, 1182 00:53:35,960 --> 00:53:38,000 Speaker 2: what is this weird? 1183 00:53:38,040 --> 00:53:41,880 Speaker 3: Like this? It's so ichy. So if she had I 1184 00:53:41,880 --> 00:53:45,279 Speaker 3: don't know if she had maybe sent a letter or 1185 00:53:45,880 --> 00:53:48,359 Speaker 3: sent some sort of message to op and said, Hey, 1186 00:53:48,920 --> 00:53:52,960 Speaker 3: I know I don't deserve a relationship with you in 1187 00:53:52,960 --> 00:53:56,000 Speaker 3: any way. You don't owe me anything. I just wanted 1188 00:53:56,040 --> 00:54:00,279 Speaker 3: to tell you that I have. I don't know. Maybe 1189 00:54:00,280 --> 00:54:03,840 Speaker 3: she's made changes in her life, realize the errors of 1190 00:54:03,920 --> 00:54:08,000 Speaker 3: her way, YadA, YadA, YadA, and said I just wanted 1191 00:54:08,040 --> 00:54:10,080 Speaker 3: to know that I'm here if you ever want to talk. 1192 00:54:10,160 --> 00:54:12,960 Speaker 3: But I will respect your you know, respect your decision 1193 00:54:13,320 --> 00:54:15,680 Speaker 3: and leave it at that. That would be the right move. 1194 00:54:16,080 --> 00:54:18,400 Speaker 1: This is not at this point so long. 1195 00:54:18,600 --> 00:54:21,880 Speaker 2: That would be probably almost the only accept I agree. 1196 00:54:22,080 --> 00:54:26,280 Speaker 3: I agree. Yeah, this getting your entire family to follow 1197 00:54:26,320 --> 00:54:29,960 Speaker 3: op in some kind of weird like I don't know, 1198 00:54:30,080 --> 00:54:36,759 Speaker 3: it just feels like psychological like torment. Yes, you know, 1199 00:54:36,840 --> 00:54:40,399 Speaker 3: it feels I would be like, why are they following me? Yeah, 1200 00:54:40,560 --> 00:54:43,000 Speaker 3: like obviously not like to be clear to all reviews, 1201 00:54:43,040 --> 00:54:47,160 Speaker 3: not following, but Instagram following or social media social media following, 1202 00:54:47,520 --> 00:54:50,720 Speaker 3: but why I would be so confused. 1203 00:54:51,000 --> 00:54:53,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, and every every person that follows you just like 1204 00:54:54,440 --> 00:54:54,920 Speaker 2: brings it. 1205 00:54:55,120 --> 00:54:56,879 Speaker 3: Yeah. It can't sack all. 1206 00:54:56,800 --> 00:55:00,120 Speaker 2: Those emotions every single time. It was quite shocking and 1207 00:55:00,120 --> 00:55:02,640 Speaker 2: seeing the notification, I did not know what to think. 1208 00:55:02,880 --> 00:55:05,880 Speaker 2: In a way, it felt intrusive. Yes, I should have 1209 00:55:05,880 --> 00:55:08,319 Speaker 2: put my profile in private. That very same day, she 1210 00:55:08,440 --> 00:55:10,720 Speaker 2: sent me a message. It was a very long message, 1211 00:55:10,760 --> 00:55:13,480 Speaker 2: and after reading it, I was very conflicted and also 1212 00:55:13,520 --> 00:55:16,319 Speaker 2: too like, again, you can write this letter, but I 1213 00:55:16,320 --> 00:55:18,800 Speaker 2: feel like sending it on an Instagram DM just feels 1214 00:55:18,840 --> 00:55:21,719 Speaker 2: like like like at least in emails, like yeah, but 1215 00:55:21,760 --> 00:55:22,279 Speaker 2: I guess how do you. 1216 00:55:22,239 --> 00:55:25,680 Speaker 3: Get your emails? Yeah, yeah, that's it. 1217 00:55:25,800 --> 00:55:28,120 Speaker 2: Yeah, Facebook message, even if I don't know, but I'm 1218 00:55:28,200 --> 00:55:31,279 Speaker 2: just flitting hair. But even if Facebook message feels like okay, 1219 00:55:31,320 --> 00:55:34,640 Speaker 2: I'm like trying to find the most respectable channel personally. 1220 00:55:34,719 --> 00:55:36,480 Speaker 3: I think if she was gonna go to that freaking funeral, 1221 00:55:36,520 --> 00:55:37,960 Speaker 3: which I don't think she should have, she should have 1222 00:55:38,000 --> 00:55:40,000 Speaker 3: come with a letter in said here you go. You 1223 00:55:40,040 --> 00:55:41,360 Speaker 3: don't have to read this if you don't want to. 1224 00:55:41,760 --> 00:55:43,239 Speaker 3: Just wanted to give it to you. There we go, 1225 00:55:43,320 --> 00:55:47,759 Speaker 3: and then left and not brought the whole freaking family. Yeah, Like, 1226 00:55:47,880 --> 00:55:49,799 Speaker 3: I'm sorry. What No. 1227 00:55:50,320 --> 00:55:53,040 Speaker 2: In the message she introduces herself expresses how hard it 1228 00:55:53,080 --> 00:55:55,160 Speaker 2: is for her to write this message. She in a 1229 00:55:55,200 --> 00:55:58,479 Speaker 2: way expresses regret for leaving me, doesn't say why, Anne 1230 00:55:58,480 --> 00:56:00,719 Speaker 2: expresses her wish of beating me in to talk and 1231 00:56:00,719 --> 00:56:03,200 Speaker 2: get to know me. I did not respond. It's been 1232 00:56:03,239 --> 00:56:05,239 Speaker 2: a week since I read it, but I simply can't 1233 00:56:05,239 --> 00:56:07,759 Speaker 2: bring myself to respond. In a way, I don't know 1234 00:56:07,760 --> 00:56:10,120 Speaker 2: what to say. On one hand, I've always wanted to 1235 00:56:10,200 --> 00:56:13,320 Speaker 2: know my mom, but that was before learning why she left, 1236 00:56:13,640 --> 00:56:17,719 Speaker 2: or rather how she left. By the way, if you 1237 00:56:17,760 --> 00:56:20,399 Speaker 2: never want to leave us and hang out with us 1238 00:56:20,440 --> 00:56:25,880 Speaker 2: for basically eternity, ever, forever, forever, I have a solution 1239 00:56:26,080 --> 00:56:31,200 Speaker 2: for you Spotify, Apple Podcast, iHeart you search Okay, story. 1240 00:56:30,960 --> 00:56:34,040 Speaker 1: Time and now you have do we get an update 1241 00:56:34,080 --> 00:56:39,040 Speaker 1: on the days? Keon, I think it's sixty five day five. 1242 00:56:39,200 --> 00:56:41,480 Speaker 2: I don't know why, but Frank the Puck I think 1243 00:56:41,520 --> 00:56:43,400 Speaker 2: said sixty five the other day. 1244 00:56:43,680 --> 00:56:46,560 Speaker 1: I know with that right now we have sixty five 1245 00:56:46,800 --> 00:56:47,880 Speaker 1: straight days. 1246 00:56:47,920 --> 00:56:50,120 Speaker 2: Like, if you listen twenty four to seven for sixty 1247 00:56:50,160 --> 00:56:52,680 Speaker 2: five days, you would still not right out, which means. 1248 00:56:52,520 --> 00:56:55,919 Speaker 1: You'll know you'll never run out. So do that. Please 1249 00:56:55,960 --> 00:56:58,600 Speaker 1: listen to our podcast. Oh and you know what, Please 1250 00:56:59,680 --> 00:57:02,520 Speaker 1: please please rate us five stars on Spotify while you're 1251 00:57:02,520 --> 00:57:05,600 Speaker 1: at it. Please, that'd be cool. That'd be nice. I mean, 1252 00:57:05,800 --> 00:57:06,200 Speaker 1: thank you. 1253 00:57:06,480 --> 00:57:09,040 Speaker 2: We are approaching the end of the story. But my god, 1254 00:57:09,080 --> 00:57:09,920 Speaker 2: this one's a dude. 1255 00:57:10,320 --> 00:57:13,520 Speaker 3: It is. And I think my advice for op right 1256 00:57:13,560 --> 00:57:19,640 Speaker 3: now is that first kind of sit with this before 1257 00:57:19,680 --> 00:57:23,280 Speaker 3: you go and take it to your siblings, your family members, 1258 00:57:23,600 --> 00:57:26,760 Speaker 3: because they'll have their own thoughts, probably saying don't talk 1259 00:57:26,760 --> 00:57:29,280 Speaker 3: to her. Sit with it before you talk to anyone. 1260 00:57:29,880 --> 00:57:33,120 Speaker 3: Think about does any part of you want to see her? 1261 00:57:33,440 --> 00:57:35,640 Speaker 3: Is any part of you curious about what she has 1262 00:57:35,720 --> 00:57:39,600 Speaker 3: to say? And if you aren't, if you're like I 1263 00:57:40,000 --> 00:57:41,680 Speaker 3: literally don't want to see her, and it's just like 1264 00:57:41,840 --> 00:57:43,960 Speaker 3: maybe some obligation you think that you have to see her. 1265 00:57:44,040 --> 00:57:46,080 Speaker 3: You don't. There's no obligation to see her. 1266 00:57:46,280 --> 00:57:46,560 Speaker 1: Yep. 1267 00:57:46,760 --> 00:57:49,200 Speaker 3: And also if you are at all curious, you don't 1268 00:57:49,240 --> 00:57:50,640 Speaker 3: have to see her. Now you can say, hey, I 1269 00:57:50,680 --> 00:57:53,400 Speaker 3: appreciate for reaching out. Don't feel comfortable right now. Maybe 1270 00:57:53,440 --> 00:57:55,960 Speaker 3: there will come a day when I am it's not 1271 00:57:56,040 --> 00:57:59,240 Speaker 3: right now, so you can postpone that she's on your timeline, 1272 00:57:59,240 --> 00:58:02,120 Speaker 3: not the other way around. And then once you've made 1273 00:58:02,120 --> 00:58:05,720 Speaker 3: those decisions, you can go talk to your family members 1274 00:58:06,320 --> 00:58:08,160 Speaker 3: if you want. But it can also just be kind 1275 00:58:08,160 --> 00:58:08,920 Speaker 3: of a thing for you. 1276 00:58:09,280 --> 00:58:11,120 Speaker 1: Well, that was phenomenal advice. 1277 00:58:11,320 --> 00:58:11,760 Speaker 3: Thank you. 1278 00:58:11,960 --> 00:58:15,400 Speaker 1: I mean basically everything Sophia just said. 1279 00:58:15,800 --> 00:58:18,959 Speaker 2: But I guess also if you do feel that part 1280 00:58:18,960 --> 00:58:22,200 Speaker 2: of you that is, you know, whether it's curiosity, whether 1281 00:58:22,240 --> 00:58:24,120 Speaker 2: it's like, hey, I just want to have a mother 1282 00:58:24,560 --> 00:58:26,640 Speaker 2: in my life, you don't wish again, like, whatever you 1283 00:58:26,680 --> 00:58:30,280 Speaker 2: want to do, that's the move. You know, whatever you 1284 00:58:30,320 --> 00:58:33,040 Speaker 2: feel and your desires are for this again, it's your timeline. 1285 00:58:33,520 --> 00:58:36,200 Speaker 2: This is for you because you know you're the one 1286 00:58:36,200 --> 00:58:39,160 Speaker 2: that had to go through this very awful thing right 1287 00:58:39,560 --> 00:58:46,480 Speaker 2: potentially be prepared to potentially be let down. Yes, because 1288 00:58:47,400 --> 00:58:52,440 Speaker 2: she has literally flubbed the ball at every single pass, 1289 00:58:52,480 --> 00:58:54,000 Speaker 2: at every single juncture. 1290 00:58:54,480 --> 00:58:56,400 Speaker 1: You can prepare for the worst and hope for the best. 1291 00:58:56,520 --> 00:58:58,880 Speaker 3: Yeah, go into it being like she might ask me 1292 00:58:58,960 --> 00:59:01,760 Speaker 3: for money. Yep, you might say that she hates me, like, 1293 00:59:01,840 --> 00:59:04,640 Speaker 3: you know, go into it knowing that she might hurt you. 1294 00:59:05,000 --> 00:59:08,560 Speaker 2: Yes, And if you do want to talk to her, 1295 00:59:08,880 --> 00:59:11,760 Speaker 2: maybe fine, especially with the new inheritance. You're like a 1296 00:59:11,920 --> 00:59:14,919 Speaker 2: really good therapist that specializes in this kind of maybe 1297 00:59:14,960 --> 00:59:18,680 Speaker 2: like mother ab abandonment or something along those lines, to 1298 00:59:18,720 --> 00:59:20,600 Speaker 2: help you navigate that if you want to do that. 1299 00:59:20,800 --> 00:59:23,760 Speaker 2: M Dang, Sophia, we both kind of crushed the advice 1300 00:59:23,800 --> 00:59:24,120 Speaker 2: on this one. 1301 00:59:24,160 --> 00:59:25,960 Speaker 3: I gotta agree. Yeah, I agree. 1302 00:59:26,000 --> 00:59:31,040 Speaker 1: What a great allue was. Thank you welcome. 1303 00:59:31,200 --> 00:59:32,840 Speaker 2: But ladies and gentlemen, we're going to get to the 1304 00:59:32,880 --> 00:59:36,200 Speaker 2: conclusion of this roller coaster we've got in front of us. 1305 00:59:36,320 --> 00:59:37,000 Speaker 1: Opie says. 1306 00:59:37,480 --> 00:59:39,960 Speaker 2: But then again, I feel like meeting her would be 1307 00:59:40,000 --> 00:59:42,640 Speaker 2: a betrayal to my father. I truly believe that he 1308 00:59:43,160 --> 00:59:45,880 Speaker 2: started hating her after she left. I also feel like 1309 00:59:45,960 --> 00:59:48,560 Speaker 2: meeting her would be a betrayal to my brother, who 1310 00:59:48,560 --> 00:59:50,880 Speaker 2: has become my biggest a port system in the last year, 1311 00:59:50,920 --> 00:59:52,200 Speaker 2: and he has truly taken. 1312 00:59:52,000 --> 00:59:52,400 Speaker 1: Care of me. 1313 00:59:52,760 --> 00:59:55,160 Speaker 2: He detests her, and I know he would not be 1314 00:59:55,200 --> 00:59:58,120 Speaker 2: okay with me meeting her. I also ask myself, why, 1315 00:59:58,160 --> 01:00:00,680 Speaker 2: now the only thing that's changed, my father is no 1316 01:00:00,760 --> 01:00:03,400 Speaker 2: longer around. Why would my mom contact me? If my 1317 01:00:03,440 --> 01:00:06,440 Speaker 2: father was still alive, would she contact me at all? 1318 01:00:06,560 --> 01:00:12,080 Speaker 2: It is very suspicious, Yeah, suspecially because what happens when 1319 01:00:12,080 --> 01:00:18,680 Speaker 2: people pass away in inheritance, it's probably won that money. 1320 01:00:19,040 --> 01:00:23,040 Speaker 2: And maybe every one of the hundred family members that showed. 1321 01:00:22,840 --> 01:00:24,480 Speaker 3: Up, Yeah, I was all looking for money. 1322 01:00:24,920 --> 01:00:29,320 Speaker 2: Our most I think still our most popular episode of 1323 01:00:29,360 --> 01:00:34,000 Speaker 2: all time was the story of basically how army of 1324 01:00:34,120 --> 01:00:39,400 Speaker 2: family literally stormed Opie's lawn to demand for money and 1325 01:00:39,400 --> 01:00:43,440 Speaker 2: they literally got in a physical altercations. 1326 01:00:42,680 --> 01:00:46,880 Speaker 1: Trying to demand money from her. It can get a 1327 01:00:46,880 --> 01:00:47,560 Speaker 1: little nutty. 1328 01:00:47,600 --> 01:00:50,920 Speaker 2: It can get crazy, especially when you have mob of 1329 01:00:51,000 --> 01:00:53,000 Speaker 2: family like literally. 1330 01:00:53,160 --> 01:00:55,120 Speaker 3: I'll come into your dad's funeral. 1331 01:00:55,280 --> 01:00:57,880 Speaker 2: Yeah, I have no idea what to do, or how 1332 01:00:57,880 --> 01:01:00,000 Speaker 2: to respond, or whether to respond at all. I would 1333 01:01:00,000 --> 01:01:03,320 Speaker 2: I really appreciate any advice at all. I will quickly 1334 01:01:03,400 --> 01:01:07,439 Speaker 2: say that OPI mentioned like, oh, I wouldn't want to 1335 01:01:07,480 --> 01:01:10,360 Speaker 2: you know, let down my father, my father's memory, or like, 1336 01:01:10,400 --> 01:01:11,280 Speaker 2: but my brother. 1337 01:01:11,320 --> 01:01:13,920 Speaker 1: You do what you want to do. 1338 01:01:14,120 --> 01:01:17,320 Speaker 2: Yes, it's okay if it goes against their wishes because 1339 01:01:17,320 --> 01:01:20,200 Speaker 2: I think this is your experience that you went through. Absolutely, 1340 01:01:20,240 --> 01:01:22,320 Speaker 2: and I fully believe that you are entitled to do 1341 01:01:23,040 --> 01:01:26,320 Speaker 2: what you want to do. Maybe that aligns with what 1342 01:01:26,400 --> 01:01:28,640 Speaker 2: they want, but if you want something different than then 1343 01:01:28,640 --> 01:01:30,000 Speaker 2: it's perfectly okay, which. 1344 01:01:29,800 --> 01:01:32,160 Speaker 3: Is why I think it's like, figure out what you 1345 01:01:32,200 --> 01:01:35,680 Speaker 3: want before. Yeah, before you got people putting things in 1346 01:01:35,680 --> 01:01:36,160 Speaker 3: your head. 1347 01:01:36,920 --> 01:01:39,880 Speaker 2: Absolutely, but that's the end of that story and I 1348 01:01:39,880 --> 01:01:42,160 Speaker 2: think the end of this episode. 1349 01:01:42,240 --> 01:01:46,120 Speaker 1: But guys, if you love us, make sure to subscribe 1350 01:01:46,480 --> 01:01:49,200 Speaker 3: We love you, and see it tomorrow.