Speaker 1: Hira. Hi Ellen, my name is Rita kay I am
Speaker 1: Ellen Bernstein Grodsky. This is called you and your grandmother.
Speaker 1: What's the matter with you? Ellen? Your landa? She said
Speaker 1: to say it quickly. Ellen and I are gonna be
Speaker 1: your host for this podcast. In our own minds, we
Speaker 1: think of ourselves and Lucy and Nette perfect. We are
Speaker 1: absolutely the Lucy and Ethel of podcasting. I want to
Speaker 1: be the Lucy with big opinions, very dear friends, and
Speaker 1: we are gonna guide you through this podcast. We're gonna
Speaker 1: listen to interviews between other grandmothers and grandchildren, and Rita
Speaker 1: and I will also have an episode each of us
Speaker 1: with a grandchild, and we will comment between us what
Speaker 1: reaction we have from those relationships. And you can picture
Speaker 1: us standing on an assembly line eating chocolate, just like
Speaker 1: Lucy and Ethel, except that instead we are living. You
Speaker 1: come and tell you on I'm gonna be eating those candies. Boys.
Speaker 1: We throw out opinions like they throw out candy. Jewish
Speaker 1: grandmothers are a thing. We're an emotional culture. Well yes,
Speaker 1: but that could be an Italian grandmother too, except that
Speaker 1: they put red sauce where we put white sauce. I mean,
Speaker 1: that's really as my mother would have said, Taka, who
Speaker 1: wouldn't have wanted a Jewish grandmother. There's a bunch of love,
Speaker 1: there's a bunch of food, there's a bunch of acceptance.
Speaker 1: It's a bunch of Jewish guilt. Very struggling, but it
Speaker 1: still comes out. What are we gonna here today? This
Speaker 1: is gonna be my first podcast with my granddaughter Rachel,
Speaker 1: and I think it's gonna be very enlightening. Well, she's
Speaker 1: a lucky girl. Let's listen. Rita is my grandmother, my
Speaker 1: best friend I remain. She's ninety years old and she
Speaker 1: lives on the Upper West Side of Manhattan. She wasn't
Speaker 1: born in Manhattan, though. The minute I opened my mouth,
Speaker 1: they know it could be the Brooklyn or seven one
Speaker 1: eight queens. Remember when we went to Harris and they
Speaker 1: started speaking Spanish to you and then you open your
Speaker 1: mouth and then they realized they were dead wrong or
Speaker 1: they think I'm a Chatian just because of my hair
Speaker 1: is stuck. Rita is vivacious, she's fun, she loves life,
Speaker 1: and she loves her family. Most of all Rachel for
Speaker 1: this besides my grandchild, she's a great girl. She's kind
Speaker 1: and she's unassuming and she's not a fancy cron She's
Speaker 1: just a down to earth and I'm very smart. I
Speaker 1: honestly tell people I think she's my best friend. Like
Speaker 1: I tell her everything. I always say to have Rachel,
Speaker 1: you're my favorite grand doing it. But she really is
Speaker 1: my favorite person. And I tell her things that I
Speaker 1: wouldn't tell my mother. What can I tell me? She's
Speaker 1: got to get the jewelring? Rachel? Are you? Where are
Speaker 1: your ear rings? I don't know if these are yours? Oh?
Speaker 1: Now she wears little jewelry. I big jewelry, not fancy,
Speaker 1: but you know, makes a statement. If you wear pizza
Speaker 1: jewey you want to that, Well, that's pretty you are?
Speaker 1: You know? I can read a mom because growing out,
Speaker 1: my mother called her mom and we ended up calling
Speaker 1: her mom out of invitation, and it just kind of stuck. Ellen,
Speaker 1: who's Rachel's mother, became mommy and I'm mom. So people say,
Speaker 1: how do they know? I said, don't want me? They
Speaker 1: know whose mom and whose mommy. It's funny, such a
Speaker 1: short grand that's such a brand. It's a spectacle of sorts.
Speaker 1: It is it is. We're a full foot at least
Speaker 1: a foot different at least difference. She gets a hide
Speaker 1: from the father and she gets the brain from up.
Speaker 1: Then we listen. If Rachel's not embarrassed, I'm not embarrassed.
Speaker 1: I can never be embarrassed if you read it. But
Speaker 1: it's funny. We do like family things we do things
Speaker 1: were fun. We go to the museum together, we go
Speaker 1: to show together. We go to trade to Joe's together.
Speaker 1: We go to trade to Joe's because I have a
Speaker 1: big wagon and she can't reach the wagon. You know,
Speaker 1: I take my shop and kind of go to that. Bachel,
Speaker 1: I missed you. I get you can't go to train
Speaker 1: to joke, I think we have similar interests, different tastes
Speaker 1: in music. I'm trying to expand your TV show, trying
Speaker 1: to get her into APA. I'm trying to get you
Speaker 1: into Netflix. Oh yes, you put me up Crown. We
Speaker 1: will watching, Yeah, But the thing is she doesn't remember
Speaker 1: which episode she's seen, so we have to watch the
Speaker 1: episode to figure if she's seen it. And then weeks
Speaker 1: go by and she begets how to log in, and
Speaker 1: then I come back and show her to do it
Speaker 1: and forget all over And I'm very bad. You kids
Speaker 1: grew up with them I mean that you learned the
Speaker 1: computer in school, in kindergarten. It wasn't until I graduated
Speaker 1: I moved in with her out of circumstance that we
Speaker 1: discovered each other as like adults. And we've been having
Speaker 1: a great time ever since. I said Rachel. I had
Speaker 1: this huge, king size bed, so any time you have
Speaker 1: come to the city, stay over. But she started to do.
Speaker 1: She lived with me for six months and it really has,
Speaker 1: Rachel said, celidified our relationship. Every night she get into
Speaker 1: bed and we had a little book. What was the
Speaker 1: name of the book. It was like chicken suit for
Speaker 1: the soul. And every night she said, you're ready for
Speaker 1: a story tonight, mom. But Monday night was a special
Speaker 1: night because we used to do the the Sunday Times
Speaker 1: puzzle out of my leg. She come home and the
Speaker 1: ones I couldn't get. Rachel look at the puzzle. Two
Speaker 1: minutes she had the whole thing done. It's such a sweet,
Speaker 1: good relationship. What a voice. I'm telling you, you guys
Speaker 1: gotta be nuts to want me on the podcast with
Speaker 1: that voice. The voice is one thing. The personality is
Speaker 1: something entirely. They're not seeing the person unity just listening
Speaker 1: to that voice. That's all right. The personality comes right
Speaker 1: through the voice. Oh my god. I think they discussion
Speaker 1: between by true myself, Ellen, and you'll remark. I think
Speaker 1: it was very natural and it is what it is,
Speaker 1: the way we are together. Her granddaughter has read a
Speaker 1: pegged to a t there's a Yiddish expression. Voice is
Speaker 1: often long, is often tongue. What's in your heart is
Speaker 1: on your lips, and that's reader. She says what's in
Speaker 1: her heart. And that's what I love about and the
Speaker 1: most well, it was meant to be. That's how I
Speaker 1: feel like this podcast was meant to be. Our friendship
Speaker 1: was meant to be. She's one of the best people
Speaker 1: I ever knew. Okay, I'm reading these part titles and
Speaker 1: I see part one is Rida plays potsy and other
Speaker 1: things modern kids don't know about. I know what potsy is.
Speaker 1: Let's listen. It was so different growing up. I mean,
Speaker 1: it was a lovely neighborhood and nobody was afraid that
Speaker 1: kids would get kidnapped. We didn't have an iPhone, we
Speaker 1: didn't have a Pewter. We used to play school. Today,
Speaker 1: the kids I can't stand if they sit them, it's
Speaker 1: like another arm in this time is a phone and
Speaker 1: they don't let that phone die. These are kids where
Speaker 1: they need to phone. They have such important business that
Speaker 1: they're waiting for a client to call. No, they don't
Speaker 1: have imagination. Everything is in front of them. What can
Speaker 1: I tell you? I don't know if you think I'm
Speaker 1: long or I think i'm I am I right, it's different.
Speaker 1: You're right. You have to see a kid doing jump
Speaker 1: rope never I see him all the time. What are
Speaker 1: you talking about in the park? You live near the park,
Speaker 1: go to the park roller skating and we used to
Speaker 1: roll estate people still roller scheme. I'm I don't know
Speaker 1: what to tell you. You You just gotta look out to
Speaker 1: play potsy. Potsy is where you make numbers on this
Speaker 1: and then you have arrested the end you throw your part.
Speaker 1: Are you talking about hop scotch hopscotchs the cold party?
Speaker 1: Just because you don't do it, does I mean other
Speaker 1: people aren't still doing it? Yeah? We used to play
Speaker 1: with the housekey, not a rock well whatever didn't roll?
Speaker 1: You know a rock sometimes roll. We used to listen
Speaker 1: to the radio, not television. And you can't imagine the
Speaker 1: whole thing in front of you. My gal Thalan Stella Dallas,
Speaker 1: and you can imagine the settings. Well it's interesting you
Speaker 1: say that because now we've come and basically full circle
Speaker 1: with like podcasts, it's all audio their storytelling. Yeah, no,
Speaker 1: that's good. Thinking doesn't kill you. What did you and
Speaker 1: your friends do for fun? We can. Junior high we
Speaker 1: had a club and it's called the Audisans, which if
Speaker 1: you look at it is Sinatra backwards. We were thirteen girls.
Speaker 1: We were all Snata fans. There was a social club
Speaker 1: just to have parties and I'm bike boys at the
Speaker 1: Paramount Theater on Broadway right, Sinatra just just sitting there.
Speaker 1: The thirteen of us would go down at six in
Speaker 1: the morning with lunch bags and we would sit in
Speaker 1: the theater all day. You know, they figured people alive
Speaker 1: with the first show, but we had our lunch so
Speaker 1: we didn't get it was fabulous. Well, Rita and I
Speaker 1: have a little age difference, but I do remember a
Speaker 1: lot of the things that Rita was talking about. We
Speaker 1: did jump rope, and we did play house, and I
Speaker 1: mean technology was when I was sixteen years old and
Speaker 1: got my own princess phone. I used to sit on
Speaker 1: the phone with my little girlfriend. We used to talk
Speaker 1: back and forth. That was a big deal. So one
Speaker 1: day I said to Rachel's mother, it doesn't Rachel have friends. Mom,
Speaker 1: She said, they don't talk on the phone anymore. They text.
Speaker 1: But talking to a little girlfriend on the phone, it's
Speaker 1: so different than texting back, and it's more personal. There's
Speaker 1: much more when you hear a voice. It's certainly more
Speaker 1: personal than when you're looking at words. And you know
Speaker 1: if your friends in a bad mood. If she said,
Speaker 1: if she's glad, if she's being tell me you can
Speaker 1: always shoot you an emoji of an unhappy face that
Speaker 1: you know just how somebody is feeling today. I'm glad
Speaker 1: to see Peter. Don't answer it. Well, I don't know
Speaker 1: anybody in Melbourne. It's probably one of those commercial it's
Speaker 1: you know that. I actually got one of those calls
Speaker 1: that my grandson was in trouble and that I should send.
Speaker 1: Do you want to talk to I said, listen to me.
Speaker 1: I'm tired of giving money for my grandson. He's such
Speaker 1: a bad boy. I said, you tell him to send jail.
Speaker 1: I'm not giving any more money. That was good. The
Speaker 1: next time I get one, that's a good lord, Ellen,
Speaker 1: I think we're gonna have to stop now we have
Speaker 1: to go to a commercial break. But don't worry, will
Speaker 1: come back because we got a lot more to say,
Speaker 1: right right, We always have a lot more to say.
Speaker 1: Next up we have part two, Part two med the Nudge.
Speaker 1: Tell me about your dad. I was closer to my
Speaker 1: father than I was to my mother. I have to say.
Speaker 1: I in my and my father. He was very smart.
Speaker 1: He was the youngest of eight children, the only one
Speaker 1: that ever went to college, and in those years to
Speaker 1: go to college and his Jewish guard became a lawyer.
Speaker 1: He changed the name. I have to say. My maiden
Speaker 1: name was cavette K I v e t t. My
Speaker 1: father's name really was Kilowitz, but in those years you
Speaker 1: had to change your name. And he was sure. He
Speaker 1: was about five four, but he had a terrific personality,
Speaker 1: and I kind of related to him. I was shut
Speaker 1: growing up, and it was sort of hard for me,
Speaker 1: and I made up my mind. Everybody said, oh, really,
Speaker 1: you got such a good personality. And I always think
Speaker 1: to myself, if I was a normal height, not sure,
Speaker 1: maybe I would have my personality because she got to
Speaker 1: make a way for yourself some way, and I did,
Speaker 1: and I always had a lot of friends, and it's
Speaker 1: what do you make of yourself? What about your mom?
Speaker 1: She wasn't very affectionate, I have to say this, and
Speaker 1: she was very social. She had three husbands. My father
Speaker 1: died at six and in those years a woman is
Speaker 1: only recognized if she's with a man. The second husband
Speaker 1: was a very nice looking man, very immaculate. Always wore
Speaker 1: a navy blazer and its hair was like my cop
Speaker 1: was leaked back, really nice and they liked each other
Speaker 1: and he was a great guy. My sister and I
Speaker 1: loved him. He was such a nice guy. They were
Speaker 1: married for about eleven twelve years, and he died of
Speaker 1: a heart attack. Okay, so she's single again. So now
Speaker 1: she's in her seventies again, she meets a man who
Speaker 1: we couldn't stand. My sister and I we call the medbinudge.
Speaker 1: He was like so invasive, ned the nutge was always around.
Speaker 1: We couldn't get rid of him. And he was cheap
Speaker 1: as cheap could be. He didn't drive, so wherever they went,
Speaker 1: she drove, she picked him up. I was with her. Once.
Speaker 1: They go to Philip and it comes to her and
Speaker 1: he says, be where's your credit card for the guests. Well,
Speaker 1: I thought I would die my sister and I couldn't
Speaker 1: stand him. So he said, all right, just don't marry him.
Speaker 1: One Sunday morning, my sister comes nothing on my daughter.
Speaker 1: We don't. You won't believe it. What mother is marrying Ned.
Speaker 1: We chopped out of bed. What do you mean she's
Speaker 1: got to marry Ned? I can't believe it. So I said, well,
Speaker 1: we've got to make sure she at least signed a
Speaker 1: prenuptural rook, because she was much better off than he was.
Speaker 1: So he said to my mother, and make sure you
Speaker 1: get a prenupt No, he's not like that. He's not
Speaker 1: like that. Mother. Yep, all right, I'll do it after
Speaker 1: we're married. Man, No, a prenuptural. You can't do him.
Speaker 1: Oh this is what said, I'd like to walk into
Speaker 1: a restaurant on the arm of the man's they do.
Speaker 1: Let's find an army man. So, given the option walking
Speaker 1: to the restaurant, Plissa say, let's give her and on.
Speaker 1: And you know when once we're in a restaurant and
Speaker 1: there's a group of women sitting having dinner, joined themselves
Speaker 1: from my mother, looks like that. Isn't that a pity?
Speaker 1: I said, what, what's a pity? They're having a good time.
Speaker 1: There are four nice women enjoying dinner. I said, I'd
Speaker 1: rather be with four exciting, interesting women than one del husband. Well,
Speaker 1: you know, my parents were married until my mother was
Speaker 1: five years older than my father. Really, I never knew that.
Speaker 1: Look at what comes up on the podcast. That's right,
Speaker 1: tell a girls this, it's a therapy. Things are coming
Speaker 1: out that it really is. Well, let me just say this,
Speaker 1: in order to make a living, you knew that there
Speaker 1: were certain Jewish prejudices, and today nobody changes their name.
Speaker 1: Matt movie stars, Jewish lawyers are held in high esteem.
Speaker 1: Jewish factors are held in high Some more funny names
Speaker 1: that you wanted to change. Because when I met Phil
Speaker 1: All his father's brothers had changed their name from Clinton
Speaker 1: Stein to Kate. I said, listen, if you want me
Speaker 1: to marry you, you've got to change your name like
Speaker 1: your father's brothers. I'm leaving a lovely name, Cavette, and
Speaker 1: I'm going to go into Clint and start in no way. Well,
Speaker 1: I was always Ellen Bernstein, and we never changed except
Speaker 1: when we lived in Palm Beach. And when we lived
Speaker 1: in Palm Beach, there was such prejudice. It was really.
Speaker 1: Palm Beach was a terrible place. There used to be
Speaker 1: signs on the posts outside of housing develop it no blacks,
Speaker 1: no Jews, and no dogs. I mean it was you know,
Speaker 1: it was. It was a time. But my my mother's
Speaker 1: best friend's last name was Goldener, and they used to
Speaker 1: make reservations in the name of rend Log, which was
Speaker 1: gold the spelled backwards. And my parents were the Burns.
Speaker 1: Just knocked off a little steine at the end of Bernstein.
Speaker 1: But um, I remember I was invited to a prom
Speaker 1: in Palm Beach. This boy invited me and he said,
Speaker 1: and my mother knows that you're Jewish, and she said
Speaker 1: she didn't care, at which point I should have punched
Speaker 1: him in the nose and walked away, but I didn't.
Speaker 1: I bought a dress and I went to the prom. Look,
Speaker 1: things have changed, they really have. Things have changed. Nothing
Speaker 1: to do, Okay, Lena, this part is about giving dating advice.
Speaker 1: At this I can't wait to hear I come to
Speaker 1: her for all technical things. I'm so stupid when all
Speaker 1: of these were from my computer, from my eye pods.
Speaker 1: She's very good technically. She could tell me anything I'll listen.
Speaker 1: I don't challenge her. Sometimes I don't agree, but we
Speaker 1: work it out. Were sort of on the same page today.
Speaker 1: Right way, chill, She's right, which is why when I
Speaker 1: was planning on going on a date recently, Rita was
Speaker 1: the first person I wanted to call about it. She
Speaker 1: did say to they, listen, don't tell my mother. I'm
Speaker 1: going to go out on this day. And I don't
Speaker 1: think she even knows to this day. The reason I
Speaker 1: didn't tell my mom was because she's dying for grandkids
Speaker 1: all the time, so any chance of any romantic prospect
Speaker 1: she'll jump on. I said, listen, just go out and
Speaker 1: have a good time. Never go out thinking this could
Speaker 1: lead to something, because that's when it doesn't. Me and
Speaker 1: this guy, we had two class together. I thought he
Speaker 1: went off to law school. I wasn't even thinking about
Speaker 1: him and I ran into him. He had mentioned drinks.
Speaker 1: I was getting a little ANTSI honestly, because I didn't
Speaker 1: know what it was and if it was a date, like,
Speaker 1: what was I gonna do? As I was walking to
Speaker 1: a restaurant, he like honked at me because he was
Speaker 1: pulling up in his car. I think I'd asked him
Speaker 1: like what his future plans were. And then he pulls
Speaker 1: out a necklace and the necklace had a ring on it,
Speaker 1: and he goes, oh, by the way, I'm engaged. So
Speaker 1: that was a little um blindsiding. I remember saying congratulations.
Speaker 1: That was my first reaction, and a little bit of relief,
Speaker 1: I guess came across me because then I felt like
Speaker 1: the pressure was taken off the situation. But if you're
Speaker 1: going to find the happening of relationship with a young man,
Speaker 1: it's going to be pressure. You know. That thought upsets
Speaker 1: me a little bit. But I feel like if you
Speaker 1: go in and you're on a date and then you
Speaker 1: realize you're not on a that's kind of relieving, is
Speaker 1: it not. That's true. No, that's true, But that a
Speaker 1: little bit of pressure you can handle it because you're
Speaker 1: going to be yourself no matter what. I feel like.
Speaker 1: It's a little bit hard to take that advice, though,
Speaker 1: because you're preaching after fifty years, sixty years of marriage,
Speaker 1: you didn't really have to try back then. What do
Speaker 1: you mean like the dating process is different than it
Speaker 1: is now? Well, I guess so because women are already dependent,
Speaker 1: they have careers. My career was when my mother sent
Speaker 1: me to colleges to find the husband get married. None
Speaker 1: of my friends had a Korea. We all got married.
Speaker 1: That was a career, right, and so your dating process
Speaker 1: wasn't so selective. I guess I think it's hot whis
Speaker 1: true because I see so many terrific young women single.
Speaker 1: All my friends were married, and that everyone was such
Speaker 1: a terrific or you know what I mean. And my
Speaker 1: day you didn't leave, You stuck it out and made
Speaker 1: it work. And that's the way it was. I don't
Speaker 1: know what she meant by you didn't have to try.
Speaker 1: You did have to try. You had to try very hard. Look,
Speaker 1: I think it's hard for young people today to meet
Speaker 1: the right person, and I did so much pressures. Today
Speaker 1: life is not easy. It's complicated for these young people,
Speaker 1: and Dada life was complicated for us. To finding that
Speaker 1: person who wants to find you is complicated. My parents
Speaker 1: expected certain things. I mean, what is his family like?
Speaker 1: Does he have siblings? And today I don't think that's
Speaker 1: one of the first questions that are parent desks. But
Speaker 1: today these are grown up there in their late twenties,
Speaker 1: they were established, say know exactly what they want. When
Speaker 1: we got married. The truth of it is, at twenty one,
Speaker 1: you don't know who you are. You found somebody you
Speaker 1: thought was nice, came from a night family. I think
Speaker 1: that some things have split out in importance while other
Speaker 1: things have exactly religion, is this that's true as it was.
Speaker 1: And you don't have to love you in laws. I
Speaker 1: mean you may not even see them. They could live
Speaker 1: in California. You see them once you listen. It's their
Speaker 1: life if and that's all their life. That's how I feel.
Speaker 1: And they get married, they get married, they don't get married,
Speaker 1: they don't get married. If they're gay, they're gay. If
Speaker 1: they're straight, they're straight. Whatever they are, I love them
Speaker 1: and they should be happy, and that's all that matters
Speaker 1: to me. I agree a hundred thousand percent. Don't go anywhere.
Speaker 1: We're just going for a quick commercial break. We'll wait
Speaker 1: for the commercial. But it can't be as important, there
Speaker 1: as much fun as what we have to say. I
Speaker 1: don't know that will love that when I call them.
Speaker 1: I'm not stopping me. You can get away with anything.
Speaker 1: This part is about reader finding herself and what might
Speaker 1: have been and and actually what is and what I
Speaker 1: know we did it to be now so tell me
Speaker 1: about when you went to college. I really became an
Speaker 1: independent person at that time. I just sort of found myself.
Speaker 1: I was sure, and I had some problems and I
Speaker 1: had no self confidence. My parents just put me on
Speaker 1: the train, when I think now that was crazy. Parents
Speaker 1: drive their kids up in a car and get them
Speaker 1: set up. I went all by myself. I managed. They
Speaker 1: put me in a freshman dorm with great girls that
Speaker 1: I made great friends, and I survived. And that was
Speaker 1: sort of a turning point for me when I realized,
Speaker 1: you know, you're not such a terrible person, You're a
Speaker 1: pretty good independent person. Did your parents have any other
Speaker 1: expectations of you besides to get married? No, that's that's
Speaker 1: the one thing. When I met your papa, I transferred
Speaker 1: home from living in a door to go into n
Speaker 1: y U commuting on the subway. I just couldn't take it.
Speaker 1: And never forget. I had a breed Ancient history of
Speaker 1: thick book and I went crazy and I called my
Speaker 1: parents up and I said, that's it. I'm leaving n
Speaker 1: y U. I'm not finishing and I left, which was
Speaker 1: so stupid. I had like another year to finish college.
Speaker 1: I would have loved to have been a lawyer. My
Speaker 1: daughter wanted to be a lawyer, and she is a lawyer.
Speaker 1: I encouraged her they could have done that because it
Speaker 1: was a good student. I had good graves, and I
Speaker 1: think I would have been a good lawyer. But that
Speaker 1: was never that. It was just to get married and
Speaker 1: have kids. So how do you improper meet? He was
Speaker 1: a blind date. I had a friend that worked in
Speaker 1: a buying office, remember when they used to have buying
Speaker 1: offices rare, and Phil's sister worked in a buying office.
Speaker 1: They arranged a blind date and that six months we
Speaker 1: got engaged. And when was my rush? I don't know. Now,
Speaker 1: you know what in those years, if you weren't married
Speaker 1: by twenty one, you were considered an old maid. Today
Speaker 1: now who gets married at twenty one? This is something
Speaker 1: that's very a new look. I was a virgin when
Speaker 1: I got married, and then when I got married, had
Speaker 1: the baby, and you stayed at home and whatever your
Speaker 1: husband made you got along on it. And we were
Speaker 1: married for sixty six years, three children, a son and
Speaker 1: two daughters, and it was a good marriage, not perfect,
Speaker 1: but it was good. But I have to say, she's
Speaker 1: so much smaller than me. At her age than I was.
Speaker 1: What could she augues things so rationally? And because I
Speaker 1: think it's because I graduated college. Maybe I mean you
Speaker 1: want I'm sorry, I didn't mean to no, no, no, no, no, listen,
Speaker 1: but I'm saying if we swapped, if you grew up
Speaker 1: in my age, you would have had the opportunities that
Speaker 1: well maybe maybe I think it just a matter of circumstance.
Speaker 1: Don't discount yourself for you to You're very smart. Is
Speaker 1: that nice for a granddaughter to say about her grandmother.
Speaker 1: When my girls went to college, I said, listen, you
Speaker 1: got to get out with something that you could be
Speaker 1: independent and make a living for yourself. Don't have to
Speaker 1: be lawy on everybody for it, for every penny in
Speaker 1: your pocket. And thank god they both have careers. Your
Speaker 1: mother residental Hygiani's Laney's a lawyer and whatever. And then
Speaker 1: you also got a job as a bookkeeper and then
Speaker 1: a credit manager, and you really reinvented yourself. After your
Speaker 1: kids offer college, I would have been good. And whatever
Speaker 1: I decided to do. Of course, I'm not stupid and
Speaker 1: and I'm not razy, and I have to have something
Speaker 1: to keep my mind. A lot should you get a
Speaker 1: job now yeah not yeah that right night in the
Speaker 1: middle of they're looking for the night year O for what.
Speaker 1: Poor people can't even get their own jobs. Listen, you
Speaker 1: can volunteer and do things. That's true. See this is
Speaker 1: where Rita and I, but with the difference in our
Speaker 1: just we comes. Yes, that's true. I went to college
Speaker 1: because I wanted to get an education. I didn't go
Speaker 1: to meet a man. No, I don't. I don't mean
Speaker 1: that this. And I went to college too. But if
Speaker 1: you weren't married by twenty one, you were already. I
Speaker 1: think that there's so much more equality today. Reader. I mean,
Speaker 1: women are not second class citizens. No, that's true. Women,
Speaker 1: they're not expected to just be a mother. The funny
Speaker 1: part of it is I first went to work when
Speaker 1: my kids went off to college. But when I think
Speaker 1: back now, I probably could have had a nice career
Speaker 1: into something because whatever I did, I was quite capable.
Speaker 1: I didn't realize. You know, you don't know yourself. Tell you.
Speaker 1: Hillary Clinton got in trouble when she was running. She
Speaker 1: said I'm not a woman that stays home in bags,
Speaker 1: and it was like a put down. But it all
Speaker 1: depends on you. It could be very fulfilling. Being a
Speaker 1: wife and a mother ray th kids today is not
Speaker 1: an easy job. It's a full time job. There's nothing
Speaker 1: to look down on. I think today that there's a
Speaker 1: lot more competition between men and women. I think that
Speaker 1: women are as equal in business intelligence, let's put it
Speaker 1: that way, and know how as men. However, in these
Speaker 1: big corporations. In my end, Laney works for her, you know,
Speaker 1: a big bank, because he's got a big job. She's
Speaker 1: the only one there that's a woman. She's a managing
Speaker 1: director of the bank. She is not making what the
Speaker 1: men are making. There's still disparities. I hate to say,
Speaker 1: you know, I hate to say it. And then most
Speaker 1: of the women, like you say, are smarter than the men.
Speaker 1: It's I think women have a certain savvy that men
Speaker 1: don't have. It's the biological thing. They just see things
Speaker 1: a little bit differently, on a different level. Absolutely, this
Speaker 1: part is about what being a grandmother means. To read that,
Speaker 1: and I have a feeling that you're gonna see it
Speaker 1: means everything in the world to her. Being a grandmother
Speaker 1: was very defining for me, I have to say, because
Speaker 1: my three children didn't get married until they were thirty four,
Speaker 1: where were your sixty three. Yeah, so that's late in
Speaker 1: life to be a grandmother. My mother is older than
Speaker 1: that and she doesn't have grandchildren, So I don't know
Speaker 1: what if she's more anxious for grandkids than you were,
Speaker 1: but she's gonna have to wait longer that I have
Speaker 1: no control over. Well, if you'll be married, you'll be married.
Speaker 1: And if you won't be married, we'll still love you.
Speaker 1: What can I tell you than Yeah? What do you
Speaker 1: think about? Like your grandkids and how we turned out?
Speaker 1: I love my grandkids, that all great kids. They're healthy
Speaker 1: and they're normal, and that's all you can ask for
Speaker 1: at this stage. They're growing up in hard times, though.
Speaker 1: I have to say, if this pandemic goes much longer,
Speaker 1: it's gonna do damage to the kids that they don't
Speaker 1: realize and they're missing out graduations and whatever. It's said,
Speaker 1: It really is sad. Is there anything that would be
Speaker 1: a deal breaker with our relationship? Nothing? Nothing, nothing good
Speaker 1: to know nothing. Listen. I'm going to all of you guys,
Speaker 1: no matter what, and the problems they are all just
Speaker 1: have to live with. That's it, and you accept each
Speaker 1: wonderful what they are. It's is nothing that will come
Speaker 1: between my relationship with my Grandshiuldren. I think that being
Speaker 1: a grandparent is being a rock. It's just being there.
Speaker 1: I think that it's a soft place to fall. Listen.
Speaker 1: I don't say murder or or killing somebody, but that's
Speaker 1: not in their nature. You know what I mean. You
Speaker 1: have to be realistic now read. I would say, look
Speaker 1: how she holds a knife. Look even if they get
Speaker 1: married and I don't, I don't I like the person
Speaker 1: they're married. I would you know, I'm not gonna step
Speaker 1: in andto Oh maybe I would say something all and
Speaker 1: that that I think about. You could tell? You could
Speaker 1: tell me rita very kill? What was my past word
Speaker 1: from my apple? I d I forgot already. Only when
Speaker 1: you get a chance, lay Chel, it's mom, it's too dirty.
Speaker 1: I just had your phone activated and I picked up
Speaker 1: the bottom of it and there was a whole charger
Speaker 1: and everything in there. I didn't have to buy one. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'll stick to your latest we got. Thanks for the phone.
Speaker 1: They called me. That phone is seven dred. I couldn't
Speaker 1: believe it. All right, thank cant credits? You want me
Speaker 1: to say the word credits? Core Your Grandmother is a
Speaker 1: production of I Heart Radio and superb Entertainment. The hosts
Speaker 1: of the show are me Rida Ka and me Ellen Bernsdy.
Speaker 1: Created by Merrow Poster, produced and directed by Annis Stump,
Speaker 1: with producer apples Afar and associate producer Emily Marina, managing
Speaker 1: producer Lindsay Hoffman, music and mastering by Hamilton's Lighthouser and
Speaker 1: Annis Stump. The executive producers are Merrow Poster, Nikki I
Speaker 1: Tore and Mangesh Hachi Okay, let me start again. I've
Speaker 1: been practicing and I also the cock team and Mangesh Hachikadua.
Speaker 1: Don't forget to rate and review us or we will
Speaker 1: be very disappointed. So let us down. Leave us a
Speaker 1: five star review on Apple Podcasts. What are you waiting for?
Speaker 1: Rate and review? What's already Highway shows? Mom? I'm sorry
Speaker 1: to bother you extensive in I got the flush light
Speaker 1: on on my cell phone and then know how to
Speaker 1: turn it off. I don't know how I turned it on,
Speaker 1: but I can't turn it off. Cool me back. I
Speaker 1: don't know how I'm dead. It was Everything else is good.
Speaker 1: I hope it's good with you to love you bite
Speaker 1: ye