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Speaker 1: Hira. Hi Ellen, my name is Rita kay I am

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Speaker 1: Ellen Bernstein Grodsky. This is called you and your grandmother.

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Speaker 1: What's the matter with you? Ellen? Your landa? She said

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Speaker 1: to say it quickly. Ellen and I are gonna be

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Speaker 1: your host for this podcast. In our own minds, we

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Speaker 1: think of ourselves and Lucy and Nette perfect. We are

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Speaker 1: absolutely the Lucy and Ethel of podcasting. I want to

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Speaker 1: be the Lucy with big opinions, very dear friends, and

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Speaker 1: we are gonna guide you through this podcast. We're gonna

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Speaker 1: listen to interviews between other grandmothers and grandchildren, and Rita

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Speaker 1: and I will also have an episode each of us

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Speaker 1: with a grandchild, and we will comment between us what

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Speaker 1: reaction we have from those relationships. And you can picture

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Speaker 1: us standing on an assembly line eating chocolate, just like

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Speaker 1: Lucy and Ethel, except that instead we are living. You

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Speaker 1: come and tell you on I'm gonna be eating those candies. Boys.

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Speaker 1: We throw out opinions like they throw out candy. Jewish

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Speaker 1: grandmothers are a thing. We're an emotional culture. Well yes,

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Speaker 1: but that could be an Italian grandmother too, except that

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Speaker 1: they put red sauce where we put white sauce. I mean,

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Speaker 1: that's really as my mother would have said, Taka, who

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Speaker 1: wouldn't have wanted a Jewish grandmother. There's a bunch of love,

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Speaker 1: there's a bunch of food, there's a bunch of acceptance.

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Speaker 1: It's a bunch of Jewish guilt. Very struggling, but it

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Speaker 1: still comes out. What are we gonna here today? This

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Speaker 1: is gonna be my first podcast with my granddaughter Rachel,

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Speaker 1: and I think it's gonna be very enlightening. Well, she's

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Speaker 1: a lucky girl. Let's listen. Rita is my grandmother, my

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Speaker 1: best friend I remain. She's ninety years old and she

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Speaker 1: lives on the Upper West Side of Manhattan. She wasn't

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Speaker 1: born in Manhattan, though. The minute I opened my mouth,

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Speaker 1: they know it could be the Brooklyn or seven one

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Speaker 1: eight queens. Remember when we went to Harris and they

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Speaker 1: started speaking Spanish to you and then you open your

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Speaker 1: mouth and then they realized they were dead wrong or

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Speaker 1: they think I'm a Chatian just because of my hair

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Speaker 1: is stuck. Rita is vivacious, she's fun, she loves life,

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Speaker 1: and she loves her family. Most of all Rachel for

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Speaker 1: this besides my grandchild, she's a great girl. She's kind

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Speaker 1: and she's unassuming and she's not a fancy cron She's

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Speaker 1: just a down to earth and I'm very smart. I

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Speaker 1: honestly tell people I think she's my best friend. Like

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Speaker 1: I tell her everything. I always say to have Rachel,

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Speaker 1: you're my favorite grand doing it. But she really is

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Speaker 1: my favorite person. And I tell her things that I

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Speaker 1: wouldn't tell my mother. What can I tell me? She's

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Speaker 1: got to get the jewelring? Rachel? Are you? Where are

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Speaker 1: your ear rings? I don't know if these are yours? Oh?

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Speaker 1: Now she wears little jewelry. I big jewelry, not fancy,

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Speaker 1: but you know, makes a statement. If you wear pizza

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Speaker 1: jewey you want to that, Well, that's pretty you are?

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Speaker 1: You know? I can read a mom because growing out,

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Speaker 1: my mother called her mom and we ended up calling

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Speaker 1: her mom out of invitation, and it just kind of stuck. Ellen,

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Speaker 1: who's Rachel's mother, became mommy and I'm mom. So people say,

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Speaker 1: how do they know? I said, don't want me? They

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Speaker 1: know whose mom and whose mommy. It's funny, such a

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Speaker 1: short grand that's such a brand. It's a spectacle of sorts.

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Speaker 1: It is it is. We're a full foot at least

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Speaker 1: a foot different at least difference. She gets a hide

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Speaker 1: from the father and she gets the brain from up.

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Speaker 1: Then we listen. If Rachel's not embarrassed, I'm not embarrassed.

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Speaker 1: I can never be embarrassed if you read it. But

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Speaker 1: it's funny. We do like family things we do things

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Speaker 1: were fun. We go to the museum together, we go

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Speaker 1: to show together. We go to trade to Joe's together.

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Speaker 1: We go to trade to Joe's because I have a

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Speaker 1: big wagon and she can't reach the wagon. You know,

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Speaker 1: I take my shop and kind of go to that. Bachel,

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Speaker 1: I missed you. I get you can't go to train

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Speaker 1: to joke, I think we have similar interests, different tastes

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Speaker 1: in music. I'm trying to expand your TV show, trying

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Speaker 1: to get her into APA. I'm trying to get you

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Speaker 1: into Netflix. Oh yes, you put me up Crown. We

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Speaker 1: will watching, Yeah, But the thing is she doesn't remember

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Speaker 1: which episode she's seen, so we have to watch the

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Speaker 1: episode to figure if she's seen it. And then weeks

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Speaker 1: go by and she begets how to log in, and

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Speaker 1: then I come back and show her to do it

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Speaker 1: and forget all over And I'm very bad. You kids

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Speaker 1: grew up with them I mean that you learned the

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Speaker 1: computer in school, in kindergarten. It wasn't until I graduated

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Speaker 1: I moved in with her out of circumstance that we

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Speaker 1: discovered each other as like adults. And we've been having

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Speaker 1: a great time ever since. I said Rachel. I had

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Speaker 1: this huge, king size bed, so any time you have

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Speaker 1: come to the city, stay over. But she started to do.

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Speaker 1: She lived with me for six months and it really has,

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Speaker 1: Rachel said, celidified our relationship. Every night she get into

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Speaker 1: bed and we had a little book. What was the

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Speaker 1: name of the book. It was like chicken suit for

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Speaker 1: the soul. And every night she said, you're ready for

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Speaker 1: a story tonight, mom. But Monday night was a special

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Speaker 1: night because we used to do the the Sunday Times

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Speaker 1: puzzle out of my leg. She come home and the

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Speaker 1: ones I couldn't get. Rachel look at the puzzle. Two

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Speaker 1: minutes she had the whole thing done. It's such a sweet,

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Speaker 1: good relationship. What a voice. I'm telling you, you guys

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Speaker 1: gotta be nuts to want me on the podcast with

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Speaker 1: that voice. The voice is one thing. The personality is

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Speaker 1: something entirely. They're not seeing the person unity just listening

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Speaker 1: to that voice. That's all right. The personality comes right

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Speaker 1: through the voice. Oh my god. I think they discussion

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Speaker 1: between by true myself, Ellen, and you'll remark. I think

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Speaker 1: it was very natural and it is what it is,

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Speaker 1: the way we are together. Her granddaughter has read a

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Speaker 1: pegged to a t there's a Yiddish expression. Voice is

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Speaker 1: often long, is often tongue. What's in your heart is

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Speaker 1: on your lips, and that's reader. She says what's in

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Speaker 1: her heart. And that's what I love about and the

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Speaker 1: most well, it was meant to be. That's how I

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Speaker 1: feel like this podcast was meant to be. Our friendship

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Speaker 1: was meant to be. She's one of the best people

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Speaker 1: I ever knew. Okay, I'm reading these part titles and

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Speaker 1: I see part one is Rida plays potsy and other

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Speaker 1: things modern kids don't know about. I know what potsy is.

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Speaker 1: Let's listen. It was so different growing up. I mean,

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Speaker 1: it was a lovely neighborhood and nobody was afraid that

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Speaker 1: kids would get kidnapped. We didn't have an iPhone, we

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Speaker 1: didn't have a Pewter. We used to play school. Today,

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Speaker 1: the kids I can't stand if they sit them, it's

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Speaker 1: like another arm in this time is a phone and

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Speaker 1: they don't let that phone die. These are kids where

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Speaker 1: they need to phone. They have such important business that

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Speaker 1: they're waiting for a client to call. No, they don't

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Speaker 1: have imagination. Everything is in front of them. What can

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Speaker 1: I tell you? I don't know if you think I'm

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Speaker 1: long or I think i'm I am I right, it's different.

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Speaker 1: You're right. You have to see a kid doing jump

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Speaker 1: rope never I see him all the time. What are

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Speaker 1: you talking about in the park? You live near the park,

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Speaker 1: go to the park roller skating and we used to

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Speaker 1: roll estate people still roller scheme. I'm I don't know

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Speaker 1: what to tell you. You You just gotta look out to

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Speaker 1: play potsy. Potsy is where you make numbers on this

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Speaker 1: and then you have arrested the end you throw your part.

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Speaker 1: Are you talking about hop scotch hopscotchs the cold party?

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Speaker 1: Just because you don't do it, does I mean other

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Speaker 1: people aren't still doing it? Yeah? We used to play

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Speaker 1: with the housekey, not a rock well whatever didn't roll?

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Speaker 1: You know a rock sometimes roll. We used to listen

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Speaker 1: to the radio, not television. And you can't imagine the

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Speaker 1: whole thing in front of you. My gal Thalan Stella Dallas,

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Speaker 1: and you can imagine the settings. Well it's interesting you

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Speaker 1: say that because now we've come and basically full circle

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Speaker 1: with like podcasts, it's all audio their storytelling. Yeah, no,

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Speaker 1: that's good. Thinking doesn't kill you. What did you and

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Speaker 1: your friends do for fun? We can. Junior high we

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Speaker 1: had a club and it's called the Audisans, which if

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Speaker 1: you look at it is Sinatra backwards. We were thirteen girls.

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Speaker 1: We were all Snata fans. There was a social club

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Speaker 1: just to have parties and I'm bike boys at the

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Speaker 1: Paramount Theater on Broadway right, Sinatra just just sitting there.

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Speaker 1: The thirteen of us would go down at six in

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Speaker 1: the morning with lunch bags and we would sit in

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Speaker 1: the theater all day. You know, they figured people alive

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Speaker 1: with the first show, but we had our lunch so

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Speaker 1: we didn't get it was fabulous. Well, Rita and I

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Speaker 1: have a little age difference, but I do remember a

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Speaker 1: lot of the things that Rita was talking about. We

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Speaker 1: did jump rope, and we did play house, and I

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Speaker 1: mean technology was when I was sixteen years old and

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Speaker 1: got my own princess phone. I used to sit on

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Speaker 1: the phone with my little girlfriend. We used to talk

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Speaker 1: back and forth. That was a big deal. So one

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Speaker 1: day I said to Rachel's mother, it doesn't Rachel have friends. Mom,

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Speaker 1: She said, they don't talk on the phone anymore. They text.

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Speaker 1: But talking to a little girlfriend on the phone, it's

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Speaker 1: so different than texting back, and it's more personal. There's

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Speaker 1: much more when you hear a voice. It's certainly more

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Speaker 1: personal than when you're looking at words. And you know

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Speaker 1: if your friends in a bad mood. If she said,

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Speaker 1: if she's glad, if she's being tell me you can

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Speaker 1: always shoot you an emoji of an unhappy face that

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Speaker 1: you know just how somebody is feeling today. I'm glad

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Speaker 1: to see Peter. Don't answer it. Well, I don't know

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Speaker 1: anybody in Melbourne. It's probably one of those commercial it's

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Speaker 1: you know that. I actually got one of those calls

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Speaker 1: that my grandson was in trouble and that I should send.

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Speaker 1: Do you want to talk to I said, listen to me.

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Speaker 1: I'm tired of giving money for my grandson. He's such

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Speaker 1: a bad boy. I said, you tell him to send jail.

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Speaker 1: I'm not giving any more money. That was good. The

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Speaker 1: next time I get one, that's a good lord, Ellen,

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Speaker 1: I think we're gonna have to stop now we have

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Speaker 1: to go to a commercial break. But don't worry, will

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Speaker 1: come back because we got a lot more to say,

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Speaker 1: right right, We always have a lot more to say.

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Speaker 1: Next up we have part two, Part two med the Nudge.

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Speaker 1: Tell me about your dad. I was closer to my

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Speaker 1: father than I was to my mother. I have to say.

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Speaker 1: I in my and my father. He was very smart.

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Speaker 1: He was the youngest of eight children, the only one

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Speaker 1: that ever went to college, and in those years to

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Speaker 1: go to college and his Jewish guard became a lawyer.

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Speaker 1: He changed the name. I have to say. My maiden

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Speaker 1: name was cavette K I v e t t. My

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Speaker 1: father's name really was Kilowitz, but in those years you

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Speaker 1: had to change your name. And he was sure. He

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Speaker 1: was about five four, but he had a terrific personality,

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Speaker 1: and I kind of related to him. I was shut

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Speaker 1: growing up, and it was sort of hard for me,

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Speaker 1: and I made up my mind. Everybody said, oh, really,

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Speaker 1: you got such a good personality. And I always think

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Speaker 1: to myself, if I was a normal height, not sure,

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Speaker 1: maybe I would have my personality because she got to

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Speaker 1: make a way for yourself some way, and I did,

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Speaker 1: and I always had a lot of friends, and it's

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Speaker 1: what do you make of yourself? What about your mom?

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Speaker 1: She wasn't very affectionate, I have to say this, and

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Speaker 1: she was very social. She had three husbands. My father

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Speaker 1: died at six and in those years a woman is

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Speaker 1: only recognized if she's with a man. The second husband

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Speaker 1: was a very nice looking man, very immaculate. Always wore

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Speaker 1: a navy blazer and its hair was like my cop

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Speaker 1: was leaked back, really nice and they liked each other

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Speaker 1: and he was a great guy. My sister and I

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Speaker 1: loved him. He was such a nice guy. They were

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Speaker 1: married for about eleven twelve years, and he died of

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Speaker 1: a heart attack. Okay, so she's single again. So now

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Speaker 1: she's in her seventies again, she meets a man who

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Speaker 1: we couldn't stand. My sister and I we call the medbinudge.

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Speaker 1: He was like so invasive, ned the nutge was always around.

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Speaker 1: We couldn't get rid of him. And he was cheap

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Speaker 1: as cheap could be. He didn't drive, so wherever they went,

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Speaker 1: she drove, she picked him up. I was with her. Once.

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Speaker 1: They go to Philip and it comes to her and

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Speaker 1: he says, be where's your credit card for the guests. Well,

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Speaker 1: I thought I would die my sister and I couldn't

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Speaker 1: stand him. So he said, all right, just don't marry him.

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Speaker 1: One Sunday morning, my sister comes nothing on my daughter.

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Speaker 1: We don't. You won't believe it. What mother is marrying Ned.

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Speaker 1: We chopped out of bed. What do you mean she's

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Speaker 1: got to marry Ned? I can't believe it. So I said, well,

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Speaker 1: we've got to make sure she at least signed a

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Speaker 1: prenuptural rook, because she was much better off than he was.

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Speaker 1: So he said to my mother, and make sure you

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Speaker 1: get a prenupt No, he's not like that. He's not

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Speaker 1: like that. Mother. Yep, all right, I'll do it after

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Speaker 1: we're married. Man, No, a prenuptural. You can't do him.

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Speaker 1: Oh this is what said, I'd like to walk into

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Speaker 1: a restaurant on the arm of the man's they do.

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Speaker 1: Let's find an army man. So, given the option walking

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Speaker 1: to the restaurant, Plissa say, let's give her and on.

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Speaker 1: And you know when once we're in a restaurant and

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Speaker 1: there's a group of women sitting having dinner, joined themselves

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Speaker 1: from my mother, looks like that. Isn't that a pity?

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Speaker 1: I said, what, what's a pity? They're having a good time.

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Speaker 1: There are four nice women enjoying dinner. I said, I'd

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Speaker 1: rather be with four exciting, interesting women than one del husband. Well,

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Speaker 1: you know, my parents were married until my mother was

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Speaker 1: five years older than my father. Really, I never knew that.

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Speaker 1: Look at what comes up on the podcast. That's right,

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Speaker 1: tell a girls this, it's a therapy. Things are coming

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Speaker 1: out that it really is. Well, let me just say this,

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Speaker 1: in order to make a living, you knew that there

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Speaker 1: were certain Jewish prejudices, and today nobody changes their name.

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Speaker 1: Matt movie stars, Jewish lawyers are held in high esteem.

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Speaker 1: Jewish factors are held in high Some more funny names

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Speaker 1: that you wanted to change. Because when I met Phil

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Speaker 1: All his father's brothers had changed their name from Clinton

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Speaker 1: Stein to Kate. I said, listen, if you want me

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Speaker 1: to marry you, you've got to change your name like

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Speaker 1: your father's brothers. I'm leaving a lovely name, Cavette, and

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Speaker 1: I'm going to go into Clint and start in no way. Well,

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Speaker 1: I was always Ellen Bernstein, and we never changed except

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Speaker 1: when we lived in Palm Beach. And when we lived

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Speaker 1: in Palm Beach, there was such prejudice. It was really.

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Speaker 1: Palm Beach was a terrible place. There used to be

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Speaker 1: signs on the posts outside of housing develop it no blacks,

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Speaker 1: no Jews, and no dogs. I mean it was you know,

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Speaker 1: it was. It was a time. But my my mother's

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Speaker 1: best friend's last name was Goldener, and they used to

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Speaker 1: make reservations in the name of rend Log, which was

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Speaker 1: gold the spelled backwards. And my parents were the Burns.

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Speaker 1: Just knocked off a little steine at the end of Bernstein.

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Speaker 1: But um, I remember I was invited to a prom

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Speaker 1: in Palm Beach. This boy invited me and he said,

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Speaker 1: and my mother knows that you're Jewish, and she said

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Speaker 1: she didn't care, at which point I should have punched

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Speaker 1: him in the nose and walked away, but I didn't.

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Speaker 1: I bought a dress and I went to the prom. Look,

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Speaker 1: things have changed, they really have. Things have changed. Nothing

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Speaker 1: to do, Okay, Lena, this part is about giving dating advice.

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Speaker 1: At this I can't wait to hear I come to

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Speaker 1: her for all technical things. I'm so stupid when all

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Speaker 1: of these were from my computer, from my eye pods.

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Speaker 1: She's very good technically. She could tell me anything I'll listen.

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Speaker 1: I don't challenge her. Sometimes I don't agree, but we

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Speaker 1: work it out. Were sort of on the same page today.

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Speaker 1: Right way, chill, She's right, which is why when I

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Speaker 1: was planning on going on a date recently, Rita was

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Speaker 1: the first person I wanted to call about it. She

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Speaker 1: did say to they, listen, don't tell my mother. I'm

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Speaker 1: going to go out on this day. And I don't

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Speaker 1: think she even knows to this day. The reason I

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Speaker 1: didn't tell my mom was because she's dying for grandkids

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Speaker 1: all the time, so any chance of any romantic prospect

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Speaker 1: she'll jump on. I said, listen, just go out and

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Speaker 1: have a good time. Never go out thinking this could

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Speaker 1: lead to something, because that's when it doesn't. Me and

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Speaker 1: this guy, we had two class together. I thought he

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Speaker 1: went off to law school. I wasn't even thinking about

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Speaker 1: him and I ran into him. He had mentioned drinks.

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Speaker 1: I was getting a little ANTSI honestly, because I didn't

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Speaker 1: know what it was and if it was a date, like,

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Speaker 1: what was I gonna do? As I was walking to

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Speaker 1: a restaurant, he like honked at me because he was

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Speaker 1: pulling up in his car. I think I'd asked him

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Speaker 1: like what his future plans were. And then he pulls

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Speaker 1: out a necklace and the necklace had a ring on it,

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Speaker 1: and he goes, oh, by the way, I'm engaged. So

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Speaker 1: that was a little um blindsiding. I remember saying congratulations.

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Speaker 1: That was my first reaction, and a little bit of relief,

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Speaker 1: I guess came across me because then I felt like

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Speaker 1: the pressure was taken off the situation. But if you're

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Speaker 1: going to find the happening of relationship with a young man,

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Speaker 1: it's going to be pressure. You know. That thought upsets

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Speaker 1: me a little bit. But I feel like if you

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Speaker 1: go in and you're on a date and then you

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Speaker 1: realize you're not on a that's kind of relieving, is

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Speaker 1: it not. That's true. No, that's true, But that a

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Speaker 1: little bit of pressure you can handle it because you're

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Speaker 1: going to be yourself no matter what. I feel like.

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Speaker 1: It's a little bit hard to take that advice, though,

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Speaker 1: because you're preaching after fifty years, sixty years of marriage,

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Speaker 1: you didn't really have to try back then. What do

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Speaker 1: you mean like the dating process is different than it

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Speaker 1: is now? Well, I guess so because women are already dependent,

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Speaker 1: they have careers. My career was when my mother sent

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Speaker 1: me to colleges to find the husband get married. None

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Speaker 1: of my friends had a Korea. We all got married.

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Speaker 1: That was a career, right, and so your dating process

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Speaker 1: wasn't so selective. I guess I think it's hot whis

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Speaker 1: true because I see so many terrific young women single.

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Speaker 1: All my friends were married, and that everyone was such

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Speaker 1: a terrific or you know what I mean. And my

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Speaker 1: day you didn't leave, You stuck it out and made

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Speaker 1: it work. And that's the way it was. I don't

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Speaker 1: know what she meant by you didn't have to try.

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Speaker 1: You did have to try. You had to try very hard. Look,

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Speaker 1: I think it's hard for young people today to meet

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Speaker 1: the right person, and I did so much pressures. Today

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Speaker 1: life is not easy. It's complicated for these young people,

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Speaker 1: and Dada life was complicated for us. To finding that

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Speaker 1: person who wants to find you is complicated. My parents

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Speaker 1: expected certain things. I mean, what is his family like?

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Speaker 1: Does he have siblings? And today I don't think that's

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Speaker 1: one of the first questions that are parent desks. But

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Speaker 1: today these are grown up there in their late twenties,

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Speaker 1: they were established, say know exactly what they want. When

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Speaker 1: we got married. The truth of it is, at twenty one,

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Speaker 1: you don't know who you are. You found somebody you

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Speaker 1: thought was nice, came from a night family. I think

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Speaker 1: that some things have split out in importance while other

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Speaker 1: things have exactly religion, is this that's true as it was.

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Speaker 1: And you don't have to love you in laws. I

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Speaker 1: mean you may not even see them. They could live

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Speaker 1: in California. You see them once you listen. It's their

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Speaker 1: life if and that's all their life. That's how I feel.

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Speaker 1: And they get married, they get married, they don't get married,

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Speaker 1: they don't get married. If they're gay, they're gay. If

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Speaker 1: they're straight, they're straight. Whatever they are, I love them

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Speaker 1: and they should be happy, and that's all that matters

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Speaker 1: to me. I agree a hundred thousand percent. Don't go anywhere.

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Speaker 1: We're just going for a quick commercial break. We'll wait

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Speaker 1: for the commercial. But it can't be as important, there

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Speaker 1: as much fun as what we have to say. I

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Speaker 1: don't know that will love that when I call them.

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Speaker 1: I'm not stopping me. You can get away with anything.

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Speaker 1: This part is about reader finding herself and what might

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Speaker 1: have been and and actually what is and what I

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Speaker 1: know we did it to be now so tell me

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Speaker 1: about when you went to college. I really became an

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Speaker 1: independent person at that time. I just sort of found myself.

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Speaker 1: I was sure, and I had some problems and I

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Speaker 1: had no self confidence. My parents just put me on

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Speaker 1: the train, when I think now that was crazy. Parents

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Speaker 1: drive their kids up in a car and get them

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Speaker 1: set up. I went all by myself. I managed. They

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Speaker 1: put me in a freshman dorm with great girls that

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Speaker 1: I made great friends, and I survived. And that was

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Speaker 1: sort of a turning point for me when I realized,

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Speaker 1: you know, you're not such a terrible person, You're a

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Speaker 1: pretty good independent person. Did your parents have any other

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Speaker 1: expectations of you besides to get married? No, that's that's

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Speaker 1: the one thing. When I met your papa, I transferred

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Speaker 1: home from living in a door to go into n

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Speaker 1: y U commuting on the subway. I just couldn't take it.

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Speaker 1: And never forget. I had a breed Ancient history of

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Speaker 1: thick book and I went crazy and I called my

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Speaker 1: parents up and I said, that's it. I'm leaving n

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Speaker 1: y U. I'm not finishing and I left, which was

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Speaker 1: so stupid. I had like another year to finish college.

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Speaker 1: I would have loved to have been a lawyer. My

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Speaker 1: daughter wanted to be a lawyer, and she is a lawyer.

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Speaker 1: I encouraged her they could have done that because it

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Speaker 1: was a good student. I had good graves, and I

399
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Speaker 1: think I would have been a good lawyer. But that

400
00:23:34,080 --> 00:23:36,200
Speaker 1: was never that. It was just to get married and

401
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Speaker 1: have kids. So how do you improper meet? He was

402
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Speaker 1: a blind date. I had a friend that worked in

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Speaker 1: a buying office, remember when they used to have buying

404
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Speaker 1: offices rare, and Phil's sister worked in a buying office.

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Speaker 1: They arranged a blind date and that six months we

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Speaker 1: got engaged. And when was my rush? I don't know. Now,

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Speaker 1: you know what in those years, if you weren't married

408
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Speaker 1: by twenty one, you were considered an old maid. Today

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Speaker 1: now who gets married at twenty one? This is something

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Speaker 1: that's very a new look. I was a virgin when

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Speaker 1: I got married, and then when I got married, had

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Speaker 1: the baby, and you stayed at home and whatever your

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Speaker 1: husband made you got along on it. And we were

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Speaker 1: married for sixty six years, three children, a son and

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Speaker 1: two daughters, and it was a good marriage, not perfect,

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Speaker 1: but it was good. But I have to say, she's

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Speaker 1: so much smaller than me. At her age than I was.

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Speaker 1: What could she augues things so rationally? And because I

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Speaker 1: think it's because I graduated college. Maybe I mean you

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Speaker 1: want I'm sorry, I didn't mean to no, no, no, no, no, listen,

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Speaker 1: but I'm saying if we swapped, if you grew up

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Speaker 1: in my age, you would have had the opportunities that

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Speaker 1: well maybe maybe I think it just a matter of circumstance.

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Speaker 1: Don't discount yourself for you to You're very smart. Is

425
00:24:54,840 --> 00:24:58,320
Speaker 1: that nice for a granddaughter to say about her grandmother.

426
00:25:00,280 --> 00:25:03,000
Speaker 1: When my girls went to college, I said, listen, you

427
00:25:03,080 --> 00:25:05,199
Speaker 1: got to get out with something that you could be

428
00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:08,919
Speaker 1: independent and make a living for yourself. Don't have to

429
00:25:08,920 --> 00:25:11,600
Speaker 1: be lawy on everybody for it, for every penny in

430
00:25:11,640 --> 00:25:15,359
Speaker 1: your pocket. And thank god they both have careers. Your

431
00:25:15,400 --> 00:25:21,080
Speaker 1: mother residental Hygiani's Laney's a lawyer and whatever. And then

432
00:25:21,160 --> 00:25:23,480
Speaker 1: you also got a job as a bookkeeper and then

433
00:25:23,480 --> 00:25:27,480
Speaker 1: a credit manager, and you really reinvented yourself. After your

434
00:25:27,520 --> 00:25:30,600
Speaker 1: kids offer college, I would have been good. And whatever

435
00:25:30,640 --> 00:25:33,640
Speaker 1: I decided to do. Of course, I'm not stupid and

436
00:25:33,640 --> 00:25:35,840
Speaker 1: and I'm not razy, and I have to have something

437
00:25:35,880 --> 00:25:38,439
Speaker 1: to keep my mind. A lot should you get a

438
00:25:38,520 --> 00:25:41,280
Speaker 1: job now yeah not yeah that right night in the

439
00:25:41,280 --> 00:25:45,359
Speaker 1: middle of they're looking for the night year O for what.

440
00:25:45,880 --> 00:25:48,639
Speaker 1: Poor people can't even get their own jobs. Listen, you

441
00:25:48,680 --> 00:25:56,280
Speaker 1: can volunteer and do things. That's true. See this is

442
00:25:56,320 --> 00:25:58,960
Speaker 1: where Rita and I, but with the difference in our

443
00:25:59,240 --> 00:26:03,520
Speaker 1: just we comes. Yes, that's true. I went to college

444
00:26:03,720 --> 00:26:06,520
Speaker 1: because I wanted to get an education. I didn't go

445
00:26:06,640 --> 00:26:09,240
Speaker 1: to meet a man. No, I don't. I don't mean

446
00:26:09,240 --> 00:26:12,080
Speaker 1: that this. And I went to college too. But if

447
00:26:12,080 --> 00:26:15,680
Speaker 1: you weren't married by twenty one, you were already. I

448
00:26:15,720 --> 00:26:19,520
Speaker 1: think that there's so much more equality today. Reader. I mean,

449
00:26:19,840 --> 00:26:24,000
Speaker 1: women are not second class citizens. No, that's true. Women,

450
00:26:24,160 --> 00:26:27,800
Speaker 1: they're not expected to just be a mother. The funny

451
00:26:27,840 --> 00:26:30,360
Speaker 1: part of it is I first went to work when

452
00:26:30,400 --> 00:26:33,240
Speaker 1: my kids went off to college. But when I think

453
00:26:33,320 --> 00:26:36,160
Speaker 1: back now, I probably could have had a nice career

454
00:26:36,200 --> 00:26:40,280
Speaker 1: into something because whatever I did, I was quite capable.

455
00:26:40,520 --> 00:26:43,879
Speaker 1: I didn't realize. You know, you don't know yourself. Tell you.

456
00:26:44,200 --> 00:26:47,719
Speaker 1: Hillary Clinton got in trouble when she was running. She

457
00:26:47,760 --> 00:26:50,320
Speaker 1: said I'm not a woman that stays home in bags,

458
00:26:51,520 --> 00:26:54,680
Speaker 1: and it was like a put down. But it all

459
00:26:54,720 --> 00:26:58,320
Speaker 1: depends on you. It could be very fulfilling. Being a

460
00:26:58,359 --> 00:27:01,320
Speaker 1: wife and a mother ray th kids today is not

461
00:27:01,440 --> 00:27:04,680
Speaker 1: an easy job. It's a full time job. There's nothing

462
00:27:04,760 --> 00:27:07,560
Speaker 1: to look down on. I think today that there's a

463
00:27:07,640 --> 00:27:10,800
Speaker 1: lot more competition between men and women. I think that

464
00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:15,000
Speaker 1: women are as equal in business intelligence, let's put it

465
00:27:15,040 --> 00:27:18,639
Speaker 1: that way, and know how as men. However, in these

466
00:27:18,640 --> 00:27:21,720
Speaker 1: big corporations. In my end, Laney works for her, you know,

467
00:27:21,840 --> 00:27:24,480
Speaker 1: a big bank, because he's got a big job. She's

468
00:27:24,560 --> 00:27:28,560
Speaker 1: the only one there that's a woman. She's a managing

469
00:27:28,600 --> 00:27:31,359
Speaker 1: director of the bank. She is not making what the

470
00:27:31,480 --> 00:27:35,920
Speaker 1: men are making. There's still disparities. I hate to say,

471
00:27:35,960 --> 00:27:38,359
Speaker 1: you know, I hate to say it. And then most

472
00:27:38,400 --> 00:27:40,840
Speaker 1: of the women, like you say, are smarter than the men.

473
00:27:41,400 --> 00:27:44,040
Speaker 1: It's I think women have a certain savvy that men

474
00:27:44,119 --> 00:27:47,800
Speaker 1: don't have. It's the biological thing. They just see things

475
00:27:47,800 --> 00:27:54,000
Speaker 1: a little bit differently, on a different level. Absolutely, this

476
00:27:54,160 --> 00:27:57,000
Speaker 1: part is about what being a grandmother means. To read that,

477
00:27:57,200 --> 00:28:00,480
Speaker 1: and I have a feeling that you're gonna see it

478
00:28:00,560 --> 00:28:04,760
Speaker 1: means everything in the world to her. Being a grandmother

479
00:28:04,880 --> 00:28:08,240
Speaker 1: was very defining for me, I have to say, because

480
00:28:08,320 --> 00:28:12,200
Speaker 1: my three children didn't get married until they were thirty four,

481
00:28:12,359 --> 00:28:15,439
Speaker 1: where were your sixty three. Yeah, so that's late in

482
00:28:15,480 --> 00:28:18,440
Speaker 1: life to be a grandmother. My mother is older than

483
00:28:18,480 --> 00:28:20,600
Speaker 1: that and she doesn't have grandchildren, So I don't know

484
00:28:20,600 --> 00:28:23,120
Speaker 1: what if she's more anxious for grandkids than you were,

485
00:28:23,400 --> 00:28:25,679
Speaker 1: but she's gonna have to wait longer that I have

486
00:28:25,840 --> 00:28:29,760
Speaker 1: no control over. Well, if you'll be married, you'll be married.

487
00:28:29,800 --> 00:28:32,159
Speaker 1: And if you won't be married, we'll still love you.

488
00:28:32,280 --> 00:28:35,399
Speaker 1: What can I tell you than Yeah? What do you

489
00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:38,200
Speaker 1: think about? Like your grandkids and how we turned out?

490
00:28:38,680 --> 00:28:42,240
Speaker 1: I love my grandkids, that all great kids. They're healthy

491
00:28:42,360 --> 00:28:44,600
Speaker 1: and they're normal, and that's all you can ask for

492
00:28:44,720 --> 00:28:47,520
Speaker 1: at this stage. They're growing up in hard times, though.

493
00:28:47,520 --> 00:28:50,960
Speaker 1: I have to say, if this pandemic goes much longer,

494
00:28:51,080 --> 00:28:53,600
Speaker 1: it's gonna do damage to the kids that they don't

495
00:28:53,640 --> 00:28:58,040
Speaker 1: realize and they're missing out graduations and whatever. It's said,

496
00:28:58,200 --> 00:29:01,520
Speaker 1: It really is sad. Is there anything that would be

497
00:29:01,560 --> 00:29:06,280
Speaker 1: a deal breaker with our relationship? Nothing? Nothing, nothing good

498
00:29:06,280 --> 00:29:09,600
Speaker 1: to know nothing. Listen. I'm going to all of you guys,

499
00:29:09,680 --> 00:29:13,400
Speaker 1: no matter what, and the problems they are all just

500
00:29:13,440 --> 00:29:15,760
Speaker 1: have to live with. That's it, and you accept each

501
00:29:15,800 --> 00:29:20,160
Speaker 1: wonderful what they are. It's is nothing that will come

502
00:29:20,200 --> 00:29:25,680
Speaker 1: between my relationship with my Grandshiuldren. I think that being

503
00:29:25,720 --> 00:29:31,360
Speaker 1: a grandparent is being a rock. It's just being there.

504
00:29:32,520 --> 00:29:36,440
Speaker 1: I think that it's a soft place to fall. Listen.

505
00:29:36,480 --> 00:29:40,360
Speaker 1: I don't say murder or or killing somebody, but that's

506
00:29:40,400 --> 00:29:42,360
Speaker 1: not in their nature. You know what I mean. You

507
00:29:42,440 --> 00:29:45,480
Speaker 1: have to be realistic now read. I would say, look

508
00:29:45,520 --> 00:29:50,400
Speaker 1: how she holds a knife. Look even if they get

509
00:29:50,440 --> 00:29:52,880
Speaker 1: married and I don't, I don't I like the person

510
00:29:52,920 --> 00:29:56,880
Speaker 1: they're married. I would you know, I'm not gonna step

511
00:29:56,880 --> 00:30:00,080
Speaker 1: in andto Oh maybe I would say something all and

512
00:30:00,200 --> 00:30:02,560
Speaker 1: that that I think about. You could tell? You could

513
00:30:02,600 --> 00:30:14,360
Speaker 1: tell me rita very kill? What was my past word

514
00:30:14,440 --> 00:30:18,160
Speaker 1: from my apple? I d I forgot already. Only when

515
00:30:18,160 --> 00:30:26,280
Speaker 1: you get a chance, lay Chel, it's mom, it's too dirty.

516
00:30:26,360 --> 00:30:29,640
Speaker 1: I just had your phone activated and I picked up

517
00:30:29,680 --> 00:30:31,720
Speaker 1: the bottom of it and there was a whole charger

518
00:30:31,880 --> 00:30:35,160
Speaker 1: and everything in there. I didn't have to buy one. Okay,

519
00:30:35,200 --> 00:30:38,000
Speaker 1: I'll stick to your latest we got. Thanks for the phone.

520
00:30:38,040 --> 00:30:41,000
Speaker 1: They called me. That phone is seven dred. I couldn't

521
00:30:41,040 --> 00:30:52,160
Speaker 1: believe it. All right, thank cant credits? You want me

522
00:30:52,160 --> 00:30:56,400
Speaker 1: to say the word credits? Core Your Grandmother is a

523
00:30:56,440 --> 00:31:02,720
Speaker 1: production of I Heart Radio and superb Entertainment. The hosts

524
00:31:02,760 --> 00:31:07,840
Speaker 1: of the show are me Rida Ka and me Ellen Bernsdy.

525
00:31:08,320 --> 00:31:13,640
Speaker 1: Created by Merrow Poster, produced and directed by Annis Stump,

526
00:31:14,400 --> 00:31:20,800
Speaker 1: with producer apples Afar and associate producer Emily Marina, managing

527
00:31:20,920 --> 00:31:27,840
Speaker 1: producer Lindsay Hoffman, music and mastering by Hamilton's Lighthouser and

528
00:31:27,960 --> 00:31:33,440
Speaker 1: Annis Stump. The executive producers are Merrow Poster, Nikki I

529
00:31:33,600 --> 00:31:38,720
Speaker 1: Tore and Mangesh Hachi Okay, let me start again. I've

530
00:31:38,720 --> 00:31:44,680
Speaker 1: been practicing and I also the cock team and Mangesh Hachikadua.

531
00:31:45,880 --> 00:31:48,800
Speaker 1: Don't forget to rate and review us or we will

532
00:31:48,880 --> 00:31:52,840
Speaker 1: be very disappointed. So let us down. Leave us a

533
00:31:52,960 --> 00:31:58,160
Speaker 1: five star review on Apple Podcasts. What are you waiting for?

534
00:31:58,800 --> 00:32:05,960
Speaker 1: Rate and review? What's already Highway shows? Mom? I'm sorry

535
00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:10,040
Speaker 1: to bother you extensive in I got the flush light

536
00:32:10,120 --> 00:32:12,560
Speaker 1: on on my cell phone and then know how to

537
00:32:12,600 --> 00:32:14,480
Speaker 1: turn it off. I don't know how I turned it on,

538
00:32:15,040 --> 00:32:19,200
Speaker 1: but I can't turn it off. Cool me back. I

539
00:32:19,240 --> 00:32:23,760
Speaker 1: don't know how I'm dead. It was Everything else is good.

540
00:32:23,800 --> 00:32:30,960
Speaker 1: I hope it's good with you to love you bite

541
00:32:26,800 --> 00:32:26,920
Speaker 1: ye