Speaker 1: Welcome to Carefully Reckless, the production of Our Heart Radio
Speaker 1: and the Black Effect. And just like Dad, we're back
Speaker 1: on the air. Welcome back to another Carefully Reckless episode
Speaker 1: with your girl dress hilarious. Now, listen, two things happened
Speaker 1: to me in the past week that I need to
Speaker 1: talk to you all about. All right, grab your t
Speaker 1: grab your halls. It's story time. Okay. So me and
Speaker 1: my homegirl we're at a restaurant, okay, and it's five star.
Speaker 1: It's really nice. It's a couple sitting across from us.
Speaker 1: Now this is like a dating scene or whatever, or
Speaker 1: if you want to just get dressed up and go
Speaker 1: out have fun with your home girls, take some drinks
Speaker 1: and ship. This is the place to get dressed up for.
Speaker 1: Like I said, five star restaurant. The ambiance is beautiful,
Speaker 1: nothing less than ballroom. Okay. Back to the couple across
Speaker 1: from us. Now we see them. They're into each other.
Speaker 1: They're like loving on each other. He's complimenting her and
Speaker 1: we're nosy, so we hear this. She's complimenting him back.
Speaker 1: They're cute. I love it, little cute, beautiful black couple.
Speaker 1: Now she had on a beautiful gown It wasn't like,
Speaker 1: you know, giving Taylor Swift like stupid gowns. It was
Speaker 1: given like, oh, I'm a bad bitch. It was giving
Speaker 1: like adult prom like. It was very cute though it's
Speaker 1: very cute. He had on his nice little fitted suit.
Speaker 1: It was cute without the blazer though. It wasn't like
Speaker 1: giving church like, but it was given like very Kirk Franklin. Issh. Now,
Speaker 1: if y'all know anything about Kirk Franklin, y'all know what
Speaker 1: that man can dress his ass off. I love it.
Speaker 1: So he had his nice little waves and she had
Speaker 1: her cute little weave. They were cute. He gets up,
Speaker 1: he goes to the bathroom. Now, I'm a very complimentative woman.
Speaker 1: I compliment any woman that looks good, even if she don't.
Speaker 1: It's nothing wrong with uplifting somebody. Even if you see
Speaker 1: a girl and maybe she ain't in tip top shape,
Speaker 1: tell her she's in tip top shape. Give her some
Speaker 1: motivation to go get in tip top shape. You know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. Whatever I go over to I tell
Speaker 1: her you look so fucking cute. You and your date
Speaker 1: look great as a whole. Blah blah blah. She's like,
Speaker 1: thank you, so much. She's like, you're Jess. I'm like, no,
Speaker 1: I'm Samantha. She's like you're lying. I'm like, okay, it's me.
Speaker 1: It's Jess. And so I walk away or whatever I
Speaker 1: tell her. She looks cute. He comes back, the exchange
Speaker 1: a few words. He never sat down. This man got
Speaker 1: on his knee and he pulled a ring out of
Speaker 1: his little man purse. Now, yes, he did have a
Speaker 1: man purse. He did not walk in there with it
Speaker 1: like carrying it, you know what I'm saying over his shoulder,
Speaker 1: because that would look like tragically stupid. But he had
Speaker 1: a man purse. He pulled a ring box out of
Speaker 1: his man purse right, got on his knee. I'm talking about.
Speaker 1: He bent up that slippery earl. Now, if you don't
Speaker 1: know what a slippery earl is, you ain't black. It's
Speaker 1: a church sho But his was cute. It was like
Speaker 1: a cute little doch in gabana church shoe. He was.
Speaker 1: He was very, very cute. He proposed to this beautiful girl.
Speaker 1: Me and my homegirl was so fucking happy. I'm talking
Speaker 1: about we were screaming like we was telling other tables
Speaker 1: alert them, like look y'all, look, pay attention to y'all.
Speaker 1: He about to propose to her. This is beautiful. So
Speaker 1: now the whole fucking restaurant just about is looking at them,
Speaker 1: and he goes, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
Speaker 1: blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah, will you
Speaker 1: marry me? Bitch? I like to just die. I pulled
Speaker 1: out my phone and we recorded everybody recording this ship
Speaker 1: and she said no. Yeah, she she said no to
Speaker 1: my man's and everybody immediately immediately stopped recording. It was
Speaker 1: not a moment for that. And um, it was very sad,
Speaker 1: i'm gonna say, because the whole restaurant got quiet. It
Speaker 1: was like silence. Not even a fucking cricket was present.
Speaker 1: It was even more awkward than if a cricket would
Speaker 1: be present there. Um, so I just started clapping. I
Speaker 1: was like, well, great, maybe y'all are not ready. And
Speaker 1: he turned around and he noticed who I was, and
Speaker 1: he was like even more embarrassed because he had saw
Speaker 1: me recording. And I was like, I will never post this.
Speaker 1: I will never hurt your feelings or put your business
Speaker 1: out there like that. But here I am today talking
Speaker 1: about it on the podcast, which I think is more
Speaker 1: respectful than posting the video with with a guy proposing
Speaker 1: and a girl saying now, now listen, that's that story time.
Speaker 1: All right, I got another story I'm gonna get too later,
Speaker 1: but this is what I want to talk to you
Speaker 1: all about. That brings me to my question, is it
Speaker 1: a dale breaker? Is the relationship over when the girl
Speaker 1: says no, or even the guy? But in this case,
Speaker 1: when the girl says no, is the relationship over? I
Speaker 1: don't think it should be for quite a few reasons. Now,
Speaker 1: y'all gonna ask me why I know this. Listen, I
Speaker 1: told you they were all over each other. They were
Speaker 1: like loving on each other. Usually these days, you go
Speaker 1: out and you see people on dates, but they're in
Speaker 1: their phones. They're not looking at each other, they're not
Speaker 1: playing foot seas, they're not touching one another anymore than
Speaker 1: I looking into each other's eyes. They were doing all
Speaker 1: of that. Do you understand what I'm saying? They were
Speaker 1: still a beautiful couple, and I can tell that they
Speaker 1: have a lot of love for each other. No, I
Speaker 1: don't know them. I don't know her, don't know him.
Speaker 1: From Adam and Eve. But I can tell they share
Speaker 1: a lot of love and a lot of similarities. However,
Speaker 1: they're not on the same page, or she wouldn't have
Speaker 1: said no. That does not mean she does not want
Speaker 1: to be with him. She even cried, she shed a tear,
Speaker 1: she did. But that is a woman who was sure
Speaker 1: of herself that she's not ready to take that step
Speaker 1: to get married. If I had more time, and if
Speaker 1: I had known her, I would have asked her, well,
Speaker 1: why did you say no? Is it because he's not
Speaker 1: ready you you feel like he has more growing up
Speaker 1: to do, or you guys are not on the same page.
Speaker 1: Is there something that he just did? Is he just
Speaker 1: proposing to make ship right because he just cheated? I
Speaker 1: don't know, and I couldn't assume. But what I'm gonna
Speaker 1: say is the level of attention that they were giving
Speaker 1: each other, it doesn't lead me to believe that they
Speaker 1: were over after that night. She just wasn't ready to
Speaker 1: get married, or maybe she wasn't ready to marry him
Speaker 1: because she didn't think he was ready. There could have
Speaker 1: been so many reasons why she didn't say yes. Maybe
Speaker 1: marriage is not in her future. A lot of people
Speaker 1: feel like they don't need to be married. A lot
Speaker 1: of people may feel like they don't need that contractual
Speaker 1: agreement because marriage is a contract. Yes it is. It's
Speaker 1: something very sacred and it's beyond contracts, but illegally it's
Speaker 1: an agreement, and and you're buying it to a person,
Speaker 1: and a lot of people feel that that's not necessary
Speaker 1: to be together, you know what I'm saying. So she
Speaker 1: could have thought that way, but she could be cheating.
Speaker 1: Let's just say that she she just she couldn't know.
Speaker 1: She ain't ship and didn't want to take this man's
Speaker 1: hand in marriage because she still got some working on
Speaker 1: herself to do. Also, it could be him. It could
Speaker 1: be he is just not ready. Now, listen, it takes
Speaker 1: a lot for a guy to get down on his
Speaker 1: knee and propose. It really does. So I'm not gonna
Speaker 1: say he wasn't ready. I can't say that maybe he's
Speaker 1: not ready to her. There are so many factors. It's
Speaker 1: so many. And when she shed that tear, she did
Speaker 1: tell him that she was sorry, and she took his
Speaker 1: hand and she told him to get up, you know,
Speaker 1: pulled him up, and she kissed him and she hugged
Speaker 1: him he was piste off as a motherfucker. Let me
Speaker 1: tell you. He turned around when he saw me. He
Speaker 1: was like, yo, like he looks so defeated, Like, please
Speaker 1: don't post that. I'm like, I promise, sir, I will not.
Speaker 1: I will not. But y'all look so good, and I
Speaker 1: want to tell y'all, whatever y'all path is, y'all build
Speaker 1: that ship together, keep it straight. Nobody can take her
Speaker 1: away from you. I don't even know that. And can't
Speaker 1: nobody take you away from her? I don't know you
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, But those are my positive words
Speaker 1: to them, and they left. I don't even think he
Speaker 1: paid the fucking bill. He was so embarrassed. I said, Si,
Speaker 1: I should have paid it for him. But brings me
Speaker 1: to my next question and the carefully reckless discussion. When
Speaker 1: is the right time to ask someone to marry you?
Speaker 1: When is the right time to propose? Now? I know
Speaker 1: a lot of people go back and forth in their
Speaker 1: minds or whatever. I don't think you should propose if
Speaker 1: you've never heard your partner talk about marriage. Ever, some
Speaker 1: people just don't have it in their future. Some people
Speaker 1: are just not there yet. Some people just don't even
Speaker 1: think of it. And this looks like a fairly young couple.
Speaker 1: Not saying it's it's bad to get married young. In
Speaker 1: some instances it very well is. But they looked younger
Speaker 1: than me. I'm twenty nine, you know I'm and I'm
Speaker 1: a hard twenty nine bitch. Sometimes I look thirty, sometimes
Speaker 1: I look twenty two. Very seldomly do I look twenty two.
Speaker 1: But so what they look like they were like, but
Speaker 1: they carried themselves very very maturely. I don't think there's
Speaker 1: ever like there's ever a right time. I just think
Speaker 1: you just have to know there is going to be
Speaker 1: a thought in your mind, something that comes over you
Speaker 1: where you just know it's a feeling, you know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying, It's like a static that goes through you.
Speaker 1: Has to be it has to be. Nobody is just
Speaker 1: going out buying rings and getting on their knees and
Speaker 1: proposing to bitches. Nobody's just doing that. He loved that girl, period, right,
Speaker 1: And if this has happened to you, taken to consideration
Speaker 1: in real time, there are issues that won't allow someone
Speaker 1: to say yes. But it does that mean a relationship
Speaker 1: is over? No? No, And then listen, you have to understand,
Speaker 1: a lot of people get married for the wrong reasons,
Speaker 1: Like you know what I'm saying. Like I'm not saying everybody,
Speaker 1: but some people do. Like and I spoke about this
Speaker 1: briefly on another podcast episode, like I think it was
Speaker 1: like the fourth or fifth episode. I said, you know,
Speaker 1: people they get married for the look of it. You
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. They get married because it's tradition
Speaker 1: or I just want to be a wife. People love
Speaker 1: that label as a wife. You know what I'm saying
Speaker 1: when you haven't even learned yourself as an individual, but
Speaker 1: you're gonna jump into a marriage that could have been
Speaker 1: that girl's preservation that could have been heard like you
Speaker 1: know what, No, I don't even know myself. And when
Speaker 1: I say that you don't know yourself, you have to
Speaker 1: know yourself in and out before you are willing to
Speaker 1: walk down the aisle and become one with someone else.
Speaker 1: Because if you know yourself, you know what you won't take,
Speaker 1: and then you have to know the other person because
Speaker 1: you'll know what they won't take. It's a very very
Speaker 1: big step. That's the biggest step in a relationship that
Speaker 1: I say that people take blindly. Look at Erica and Safari.
Speaker 1: I believe that they loved the hype. I believe she
Speaker 1: loved the hype of being married. She's always wanted it.
Speaker 1: She's beautiful. He is a beautiful guy too, very beautiful personality,
Speaker 1: what have you. You know what I'm saying. But they
Speaker 1: hate each other now they have two children, or that's
Speaker 1: at least what they want us to believe. Whether it's
Speaker 1: fake or not, because you never know what's real anymore,
Speaker 1: but they can't stand each other on the show online
Speaker 1: and I don't know, I don't know what happens behind
Speaker 1: closed doors, but what they show us is they can't
Speaker 1: stand each other. Two nights ago, Eric ameniz As was
Speaker 1: with fucking Natalie None at a fucking lounge talking about
Speaker 1: I'm saying, oh, throwing middle fingers up, whatever whatever, you
Speaker 1: still got two kids with this man, goofy, You still
Speaker 1: got two kids with this man. You can live? Yes,
Speaker 1: you can, you can live. Because that they were in
Speaker 1: the comments like, oh, she's speaking from a hurt place,
Speaker 1: and she gets upset when we tell her the truth.
Speaker 1: I think the only time she's she's ever accepted the
Speaker 1: truth was from Wendy Williams. But we she hates that
Speaker 1: and I love Erica, I do, but I just feel
Speaker 1: like she's trying so hard to show him that she
Speaker 1: can move on to that it's reflecting on her poorly,
Speaker 1: very poorly. She's going through it and we know this,
Speaker 1: we know it. But baby, you're gonna be okay. You
Speaker 1: don't need to do all of that, you know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying. And she probably like, bitch minjo business I whatever, Bitch, No,
Speaker 1: you put it out there, so it's my business now,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. But you don't want to
Speaker 1: end up like that. So at times you can't just
Speaker 1: say yes, and when everything doesn't properly align, you don't
Speaker 1: just say yes. Now, should she have done it differently
Speaker 1: with you know what I'm saying to you save him
Speaker 1: the embarrassment, you know what I'm saying, because that could
Speaker 1: scar him from ever doing that ship again if they
Speaker 1: do make it, which I think they will, you know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, because they walked out holding hands still,
Speaker 1: you know, even though she led, he was very embarrassed,
Speaker 1: like a scream for him. But do you think she
Speaker 1: should have said yes in the restaurant and then got
Speaker 1: in the car or got at home, like look, babe,
Speaker 1: I said yes, but I don't want to do it,
Speaker 1: you know, because a lot of people say yes to
Speaker 1: spare the God's feelings. You know a lot of people
Speaker 1: do that. Now, how would I have done it? I
Speaker 1: would have done it the same way depending on where
Speaker 1: we were. Now, if we were around like his family
Speaker 1: or like my family, or you know, at a party
Speaker 1: where you know, he he invited people that I know
Speaker 1: and all that ship, I would have definitely told him
Speaker 1: no in front of them, just to save all the hype,
Speaker 1: just to save everybody's hopes getting up and ship, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. Like, I definitely don't want to
Speaker 1: be the barrier of bad news, but I definitely don't
Speaker 1: want to say yes just to be nice. And people
Speaker 1: are taking pictures. I told you we were recording that couple.
Speaker 1: If somebody records me, it's going up anyway. It's me ship,
Speaker 1: Why the funk Whitney record? And they're gonna be posting
Speaker 1: and I say no, that's gonna be the first thing
Speaker 1: on all the blogs. That is not what I want
Speaker 1: to do. I would never want to embarrass my partner,
Speaker 1: my boyfriend, my my man. I would never want to
Speaker 1: embarrass him like that. So I would definitely say, Babe,
Speaker 1: not yet, not yet or not yet not even no,
Speaker 1: just not yet. Even if I don't plan to ever
Speaker 1: marry him, I'm gonna say not yet. That's still saving
Speaker 1: his feelings. But being as honest as you can without
Speaker 1: being disrespectful or being you know, being mean about it
Speaker 1: or coming off mean. You can come off very mean
Speaker 1: and not even be aware of that. You understand. So
Speaker 1: if this has ever ever happened to you, make sure
Speaker 1: you hit me up in the d M or the
Speaker 1: email and tell me about the time. Because I want
Speaker 1: to help people do this ship. There's no just fix
Speaker 1: my mess today. I want to help you all privately.
Speaker 1: I don't want to try to help you all on
Speaker 1: the podcast. You know what I'm saying. Y'all think I
Speaker 1: make fun of everything, and I do, but I will
Speaker 1: gladly help. Like, do not leave somebody just because they
Speaker 1: said no to your proposal. It could be so many reasons.
Speaker 1: Now listen, second thing that happened to me this week?
Speaker 1: Hold up, Hold up, I know the ship getting good,
Speaker 1: but listen to just the couple seconds of a commercial.
Speaker 1: If you love me, you'll listen. I'm dating I'm dating
Speaker 1: this guy. He's the only one I'm dating at this point.
Speaker 1: It's still in the end, the beginning stages, you know,
Speaker 1: and you know, we're months in and I kind of
Speaker 1: irritated him a little bit just with my selfishness. And
Speaker 1: sometimes you don't know that you're being selfish. Right, So
Speaker 1: he has this thing going on. I have my thing
Speaker 1: going on. Right. He's forever supporting me. He knows my
Speaker 1: schedule before I even tell him, Like he knows where
Speaker 1: I'm going before I even tell him, because he's involved.
Speaker 1: He is very hands on with me. He pays attention
Speaker 1: to everything. He is a very attentive guy to me,
Speaker 1: and I love it. However, it's not that way vice versa.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. And I was just out
Speaker 1: of town recently. I had to shoot a movie in Houston,
Speaker 1: produced by Jamie Fox and the Torry Turner. Congratulations to me, y'all, y'all, huh,
Speaker 1: give me the applause, y'all. M much more coming to
Speaker 1: the screen now. I was on set all night, thirteen
Speaker 1: fourteen hours. Right back here at home, he had an event. Now,
Speaker 1: he's an event planner. He that's what he does. So
Speaker 1: I text him like eleven o'clock and they like, hey,
Speaker 1: are you home, just to see because I hadn't heard
Speaker 1: from him, you know, in a couple of hours. I'm like, okay, hey,
Speaker 1: you're home. You're good because he had checked on me.
Speaker 1: And then I noticed that he stopped texting me. So
Speaker 1: I'm like, hey, you home, like you sleep? What's up?
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, keeping tabs, because that's just
Speaker 1: what you do. You keep tabs on your man when
Speaker 1: you know when you do that. He faced tim to
Speaker 1: me two hours later and he's like, you didn't know
Speaker 1: where I was? And I was like, no, I thought
Speaker 1: you were home. He was like, I had such and
Speaker 1: such to do. I had this. How did you not
Speaker 1: know that? And I was like I didn't know babies,
Speaker 1: Like how could you not know? Like it's like I'm
Speaker 1: in your world. I'm only in your world. You have
Speaker 1: no regard for what I do. It's like you don't
Speaker 1: care about what I'm doing. But I always care about
Speaker 1: what you do. I always ask you, oh, how is
Speaker 1: your show? I always tell you before you show, you
Speaker 1: better go kill it. I know where you're gonna be,
Speaker 1: I know what's going on, which your schedule. I know
Speaker 1: everything about your schedule and what you do, but you
Speaker 1: don't know shit. You can't keep up with nothing that
Speaker 1: I do, and it's like you don't care, you have
Speaker 1: no fucking regard. And I was like, for a second,
Speaker 1: who the funk you talking to? But then I had
Speaker 1: to realize, I'm like, this is very, very true, and
Speaker 1: sometimes you have to take a step back and you
Speaker 1: look and you have to see how selfish you are.
Speaker 1: I'm so spoiled, And yes, I can be very selfish.
Speaker 1: I'm a very very good person, sweetheart. But one thing
Speaker 1: I do, I do notice, and he brought it to
Speaker 1: my attention. I go to extra mouth for you. You
Speaker 1: don't do that for me. I'm in your world, so
Speaker 1: you have to kind of collide worlds. You have to
Speaker 1: kind of like, look at it is give and take
Speaker 1: in fifty fifty I want How am I gonna expect
Speaker 1: this man to love and support everything I do when
Speaker 1: I don't even take the time too and it can
Speaker 1: literally take me ten seconds to learn his schedule or
Speaker 1: to you know, he he does this ship all the time.
Speaker 1: So it's like, y'all, I should know this stuff. You
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, Especially if you're seriously dating somebody. Now,
Speaker 1: if you're not funk, would they do? You know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying, if you're just getting a dick and you
Speaker 1: just you know by bone real quick and yeah, but
Speaker 1: serious dating, Yes, you have to be just as attentive
Speaker 1: to your partner as you want him to be to you.
Speaker 1: And that goes for the guys as well. And after
Speaker 1: that conversation we were able to move on. He didn't
Speaker 1: hold the grudge. He even said a little joke because
Speaker 1: I was in the chair getting my makeup done before
Speaker 1: I actually went to film on said film my scene.
Speaker 1: He's very understanding. So that brings me back to the
Speaker 1: first topic. Marriage. Don't relate it to me right now. Yes,
Speaker 1: I want to get married, but that's not in my
Speaker 1: plans right now. Listen, right now, I'm just dating, so
Speaker 1: shut up. You have to know someone inside and out.
Speaker 1: You have to learn how to be selfless. You have
Speaker 1: to make a lot of sacrifices and compromise to get
Speaker 1: to that point where you say yes wholeheartedly when you're
Speaker 1: being proposed to. That goes for men and women. And
Speaker 1: I want y'all to take that with y'all. If y'all
Speaker 1: didn't take anything else, you have to be mindful of
Speaker 1: the partner of who you are with, because if you
Speaker 1: jump into it, you're gonna jump right out of it.
Speaker 1: You're gonna wish you never did. And nobody wants to
Speaker 1: get married just to get divorced. So it doesn't mean
Speaker 1: it's over if she says no, and it doesn't mean
Speaker 1: it's over if he says no. I love you, guys,
Speaker 1: because I know y'all love me. Tune in next Wednesday,
Speaker 1: every hump Day, and then my deepest paying voice. Carefully
Speaker 1: Reckless is a production of Our Heart Radio and The
Speaker 1: Black Effect. For more podcasts from Our Heart Radio, visit
Speaker 1: the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you
Speaker 1: listen to your favorite shows.