1 00:00:00,760 --> 00:00:03,239 Speaker 1: All right, it's time for the letter. If you want advice, 2 00:00:03,320 --> 00:00:07,800 Speaker 1: If you want advice on your relationship, on your dating situation, 3 00:00:07,840 --> 00:00:10,920 Speaker 1: on work, on parenting, on sex, and more, submit your 4 00:00:10,920 --> 00:00:15,680 Speaker 1: Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com and click submit 5 00:00:16,040 --> 00:00:21,040 Speaker 1: Strawberry Letter. Buckle up, hold on tight, We got it 6 00:00:21,079 --> 00:00:23,919 Speaker 1: for you. Here. It is the straw Berry Letter. Whoa 7 00:00:24,079 --> 00:00:27,920 Speaker 1: subject He cursed his own mama out. Dear Stephen Shirley, 8 00:00:28,040 --> 00:00:31,240 Speaker 1: I prayed and asked God to send me a great man. 9 00:00:31,680 --> 00:00:35,200 Speaker 1: It took ten long years, but my prayers were answered 10 00:00:35,400 --> 00:00:38,960 Speaker 1: and I got an amazing man. We're getting married this month. 11 00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:42,120 Speaker 1: But there's just one problem. I was taught that you 12 00:00:42,120 --> 00:00:44,560 Speaker 1: should watch how a man loves and treats his mother 13 00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:48,240 Speaker 1: because it will show you what kind of man he is. Well, 14 00:00:48,440 --> 00:00:51,519 Speaker 1: I recently learned that my fiance does not respect his 15 00:00:51,640 --> 00:00:54,920 Speaker 1: mother at all. We traveled to Maryland to visit his mom, 16 00:00:55,160 --> 00:00:58,360 Speaker 1: and it was the worst visit ever. His mother was 17 00:00:58,440 --> 00:01:01,400 Speaker 1: drinking hennessy from the time we got there still three 18 00:01:01,480 --> 00:01:06,160 Speaker 1: days later when she kicked me out of the house. Yes, 19 00:01:06,319 --> 00:01:08,760 Speaker 1: she kicked me out. When we first got there. She 20 00:01:08,840 --> 00:01:11,000 Speaker 1: complained that I was on my cell phone too much. 21 00:01:11,040 --> 00:01:13,480 Speaker 1: Because I was letting my family know we had made 22 00:01:13,480 --> 00:01:16,680 Speaker 1: it safely. Then she fussed about me taking a shower 23 00:01:16,760 --> 00:01:20,720 Speaker 1: at night, and in the morning she told me she 24 00:01:20,959 --> 00:01:24,560 Speaker 1: told me to ask permission to take additional baths in 25 00:01:24,680 --> 00:01:27,560 Speaker 1: her house. By the third day, she went off of 26 00:01:27,640 --> 00:01:30,120 Speaker 1: me for watching a live stream of my church service 27 00:01:30,160 --> 00:01:33,920 Speaker 1: back home because we missed church that day. She yelled 28 00:01:33,959 --> 00:01:36,480 Speaker 1: for me to turn that mess off or get out 29 00:01:36,520 --> 00:01:40,200 Speaker 1: of her house. That was the final straw for my fiance. 30 00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:43,759 Speaker 1: He lost it and went off on his mother, calling 31 00:01:43,800 --> 00:01:47,960 Speaker 1: her an old, hateful, drunk be I was in shock 32 00:01:48,040 --> 00:01:51,120 Speaker 1: and told him that was uncalled for. He was very 33 00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:53,280 Speaker 1: angry and told me to get my things so we 34 00:01:53,360 --> 00:01:56,200 Speaker 1: could leave. I told him that he was wrong. He 35 00:01:56,320 --> 00:01:58,920 Speaker 1: said that his mother was wrong. We left and that 36 00:01:59,040 --> 00:02:01,440 Speaker 1: was it. He has spoken to his mom and over 37 00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:03,920 Speaker 1: a month now, I'm wondering if this is some kind 38 00:02:03,960 --> 00:02:06,640 Speaker 1: of character flaw he has. Will he treat me the 39 00:02:06,680 --> 00:02:12,760 Speaker 1: same way once we're married or was he just protecting me? Well, 40 00:02:12,919 --> 00:02:17,120 Speaker 1: this is definitely the opposite of a mama's boy, Okay, 41 00:02:17,160 --> 00:02:20,200 Speaker 1: because you know when you when you know. I've heard 42 00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:22,400 Speaker 1: a lot of women say that that you watch how 43 00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:25,240 Speaker 1: a man treats his mom, and then that'll tell you, you 44 00:02:24,960 --> 00:02:27,359 Speaker 1: you know, if he'll treat you that way. Well, sometimes 45 00:02:27,360 --> 00:02:31,080 Speaker 1: that works the opposite, sometimes they become mama's boys. But 46 00:02:31,120 --> 00:02:34,280 Speaker 1: this is definitely not the case. But to answer your question, 47 00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:37,360 Speaker 1: I do think perhaps he was trying to be protective 48 00:02:37,440 --> 00:02:41,400 Speaker 1: of you, however crazy way he did it. He was 49 00:02:41,520 --> 00:02:45,600 Speaker 1: disgusted in his mom's behavior and he showed it. His 50 00:02:45,720 --> 00:02:49,440 Speaker 1: mother's obviously an alcoholic and their relationship is in a 51 00:02:49,520 --> 00:02:52,800 Speaker 1: very blad place because of it. Now, having said that, 52 00:02:52,880 --> 00:02:55,200 Speaker 1: I do agree with you calling her a drunk bee 53 00:02:55,480 --> 00:02:57,639 Speaker 1: is out of line, that is uncalled for. I don't 54 00:02:57,680 --> 00:02:59,560 Speaker 1: think it was any need for him to be so 55 00:02:59,639 --> 00:03:03,000 Speaker 1: dis respectful to her or to her in front of you. 56 00:03:03,280 --> 00:03:07,240 Speaker 1: And yes, he just might have some residual issues going 57 00:03:07,240 --> 00:03:10,200 Speaker 1: on as a result of her alcoholism being around that, 58 00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:16,240 Speaker 1: so you know what, I would just maybe, you know, 59 00:03:16,440 --> 00:03:20,239 Speaker 1: make sure that he's okay, get some counseling. I don't 60 00:03:20,240 --> 00:03:22,840 Speaker 1: know if you guys have considered marriage counseling or not, 61 00:03:22,919 --> 00:03:26,520 Speaker 1: but if he does have issues, they probably will come 62 00:03:26,520 --> 00:03:30,160 Speaker 1: out during the marriage, So I definitely suggest some counseling. 63 00:03:30,160 --> 00:03:32,799 Speaker 1: I know you're getting married soon, but I wouldn't go 64 00:03:32,919 --> 00:03:37,600 Speaker 1: into it without getting some counseling. Steve me personally, I 65 00:03:37,640 --> 00:03:40,320 Speaker 1: don't think you have anything to worry about at all, 66 00:03:41,240 --> 00:03:43,320 Speaker 1: because I'm gonna tell you why I feel this way. 67 00:03:43,560 --> 00:03:46,280 Speaker 1: I have no jokes for this letter. I have something 68 00:03:46,320 --> 00:03:49,120 Speaker 1: to say about this letter. And this is not because 69 00:03:49,120 --> 00:03:51,200 Speaker 1: of my own mother, because I had what I thought 70 00:03:51,320 --> 00:03:53,200 Speaker 1: was the greatest mom in the world, as do. Most 71 00:03:53,240 --> 00:03:56,680 Speaker 1: people feel that way about their mother. So this is 72 00:03:56,720 --> 00:03:58,840 Speaker 1: not from her experience, but I've watched it from a 73 00:03:58,920 --> 00:04:04,520 Speaker 1: distance on several people. Everybody don't get a great mother, 74 00:04:06,440 --> 00:04:10,520 Speaker 1: as great as your mother may have been. Everybody ain't 75 00:04:10,560 --> 00:04:16,640 Speaker 1: that fortunate. It's mothers that give away babies. It's mother's 76 00:04:16,640 --> 00:04:22,480 Speaker 1: that's own drugs while they're pregnant. It's mother's that neglect children. 77 00:04:23,760 --> 00:04:29,040 Speaker 1: It's mother's that abuse children. Everybody don't get a great mother. 78 00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:34,080 Speaker 1: This boy don't have a great mother. Now, let me 79 00:04:34,120 --> 00:04:37,640 Speaker 1: tell you what happened here. Like most boys wanting a 80 00:04:37,680 --> 00:04:41,880 Speaker 1: relationship with their mother, most boys will go, hey, listen, 81 00:04:42,200 --> 00:04:44,440 Speaker 1: I met the girl in my dreams. Man, I'm gonna 82 00:04:44,440 --> 00:04:47,400 Speaker 1: take her to meet my mama. Every boy won't say 83 00:04:47,440 --> 00:04:50,920 Speaker 1: mother's approval of the girl. That they're gonna marry. I'm 84 00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:53,880 Speaker 1: every dude, I know, man, he just wants that approve mama. 85 00:04:53,880 --> 00:04:56,599 Speaker 1: Look what I got, Mama. What you think? So this 86 00:04:56,720 --> 00:04:59,799 Speaker 1: boyd the drugged his new fiance to meet his mama. 87 00:05:00,480 --> 00:05:02,640 Speaker 1: And you and you, you know, you know, you know what. 88 00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:06,360 Speaker 1: You're pretty good. You're watching services at home, multiple baths, 89 00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:10,200 Speaker 1: you all you're good. Yea in the morning and at night. Yeah, 90 00:05:10,760 --> 00:05:12,920 Speaker 1: now this is crazy. He ain't having it at her house. 91 00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:16,520 Speaker 1: You gotta ask first. But she drunk. Now she'd been 92 00:05:16,640 --> 00:05:20,039 Speaker 1: drinking hennessy hey from the time that this is not 93 00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:22,080 Speaker 1: to drink. You want to drink. From time you get 94 00:05:22,080 --> 00:05:27,760 Speaker 1: that to you leave. So now he didn't got frustrated 95 00:05:28,520 --> 00:05:31,719 Speaker 1: because he didn't bought the girl of his dreams to 96 00:05:31,880 --> 00:05:38,320 Speaker 1: meet his mother. And she did her usual because this 97 00:05:38,520 --> 00:05:43,000 Speaker 1: ain't the first time. She didn't disappointed this point showed up. 98 00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:45,400 Speaker 1: See he ain't just fired off on the one time. 99 00:05:45,640 --> 00:05:48,000 Speaker 1: This has been a build up in this young guy. 100 00:05:49,080 --> 00:05:52,000 Speaker 1: And now here she is. See what you don't know, baby, 101 00:05:52,160 --> 00:05:55,720 Speaker 1: is she might have missed the graduation, showed out at 102 00:05:55,720 --> 00:05:59,240 Speaker 1: a graduation, she didn't clowned him, and then barrassed him 103 00:05:59,279 --> 00:06:02,560 Speaker 1: at the family union's before she did making to the 104 00:06:02,600 --> 00:06:06,000 Speaker 1: games because she was drinking. She didn't make the pay 105 00:06:06,120 --> 00:06:08,880 Speaker 1: teacher meeting on time when she's poke to because she 106 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:12,919 Speaker 1: was drinking. She can call down that message, little job. 107 00:06:13,560 --> 00:06:15,880 Speaker 1: She forgot to give a message to him one time 108 00:06:15,920 --> 00:06:18,320 Speaker 1: when the boss called the house. You don't know what 109 00:06:18,720 --> 00:06:22,400 Speaker 1: distance stacked up. He ain't fired off on his mama 110 00:06:22,560 --> 00:06:27,040 Speaker 1: for one time. This woman has disappointed this young man 111 00:06:27,520 --> 00:06:31,760 Speaker 1: over and over and over and over. And your visit 112 00:06:32,640 --> 00:06:38,440 Speaker 1: was the last straw. The last straw. I hadn't had 113 00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:42,080 Speaker 1: enough for you. Every time I try to get your approval, 114 00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:45,279 Speaker 1: every time I bring something around you, every time I 115 00:06:45,480 --> 00:06:47,880 Speaker 1: need you to be proud of me, you pull this 116 00:06:48,040 --> 00:06:50,600 Speaker 1: on me. All right, We'll have part two of Steve's 117 00:06:50,680 --> 00:06:56,320 Speaker 1: response coming up at twenty three after the hour you're listening. 118 00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:00,520 Speaker 1: Come on, Steve, let's get part two of your response 119 00:07:00,600 --> 00:07:04,080 Speaker 1: to today's strawberry letter. He cursed his own mama out. 120 00:07:04,520 --> 00:07:06,919 Speaker 1: See now, this girl is worried about this because she 121 00:07:07,080 --> 00:07:09,640 Speaker 1: was raised to think that you gotta watch how a 122 00:07:09,760 --> 00:07:12,760 Speaker 1: man treat his mama and then to tell you everything 123 00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:16,160 Speaker 1: you need to know. Normally that's true, but now listen 124 00:07:16,200 --> 00:07:18,680 Speaker 1: to me. Like I said in the beginning, Everybody don't 125 00:07:18,720 --> 00:07:25,680 Speaker 1: get a great mother. Neglect, abuse, drugs, drinking. Everybody don't 126 00:07:25,720 --> 00:07:29,800 Speaker 1: get a perfect mother. Most of us are fortunate, but 127 00:07:29,880 --> 00:07:32,800 Speaker 1: there are those who are not. So now, he didn't 128 00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:35,400 Speaker 1: got the imperfect mama. Now, he didn't bought the girl 129 00:07:35,440 --> 00:07:39,240 Speaker 1: of his dreams over the show off like most boys do, 130 00:07:39,520 --> 00:07:42,920 Speaker 1: most young men, most Mama, Look what I got this 131 00:07:43,200 --> 00:07:47,120 Speaker 1: hut I picked up boys. She's so pretty. Lord, she 132 00:07:47,360 --> 00:07:50,320 Speaker 1: just as sweet and oh man, thank you mom cool. 133 00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:52,800 Speaker 1: I was sure hoping you say that. Now either took 134 00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:55,720 Speaker 1: over that and she just she just filed off on 135 00:07:55,800 --> 00:07:58,840 Speaker 1: this girl. Three days later, you get kicked out of 136 00:07:58,840 --> 00:08:02,840 Speaker 1: the house. You know we first got there, She complained, 137 00:08:02,880 --> 00:08:04,640 Speaker 1: I was on my cell phone too much because I 138 00:08:04,680 --> 00:08:06,840 Speaker 1: was letting your family know we had made it safely. 139 00:08:07,760 --> 00:08:10,000 Speaker 1: Then she first brought me taking a shower at night, 140 00:08:10,080 --> 00:08:13,160 Speaker 1: and in the morning she told me to ask permission 141 00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:16,000 Speaker 1: to take additional baths in her house. What is an 142 00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:20,640 Speaker 1: additional bath? I thought you could take as many as 143 00:08:20,680 --> 00:08:27,520 Speaker 1: you want, additional, But it's a new day. By the 144 00:08:27,520 --> 00:08:29,600 Speaker 1: third day, she went off on me for watching the 145 00:08:29,720 --> 00:08:32,520 Speaker 1: live stream of my church service back home because we 146 00:08:32,640 --> 00:08:35,680 Speaker 1: missed church that day. She yelled at me to turn 147 00:08:35,760 --> 00:08:37,480 Speaker 1: that mess off and get out of her house. That 148 00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:40,240 Speaker 1: was the final straw for my fiance. He lost it, 149 00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:43,240 Speaker 1: went off on his mother, calling her old hateful, drunk 150 00:08:43,320 --> 00:08:45,319 Speaker 1: b I was in shock and told him that was 151 00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:47,719 Speaker 1: uncalled for. He was very angry and told me to 152 00:08:47,760 --> 00:08:50,559 Speaker 1: get my thing so we could leave. I told him 153 00:08:50,559 --> 00:08:53,240 Speaker 1: he was wrong. He said his mother was wrong. We 154 00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:55,200 Speaker 1: left it at that. He ain't spoke to his mom 155 00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:57,160 Speaker 1: and over a month now I'm wanting to did some 156 00:08:57,320 --> 00:08:59,960 Speaker 1: kind of character flaw he had. Now his character flaw. 157 00:09:00,120 --> 00:09:03,640 Speaker 1: It's his mother because she's disappointed this dude many times. 158 00:09:03,640 --> 00:09:07,920 Speaker 1: This ain't the first time you old drunk hateful be 159 00:09:08,760 --> 00:09:12,120 Speaker 1: is build up from all the other times. He wanted 160 00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:15,839 Speaker 1: to say it, but he wasn't man enough. And now 161 00:09:15,880 --> 00:09:17,880 Speaker 1: calling your mom out a name don't make you a man. 162 00:09:17,920 --> 00:09:20,680 Speaker 1: That's not what I'm saying. But he would. He hadn't 163 00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:22,959 Speaker 1: gotten to that point. See, you don't know about the 164 00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:25,760 Speaker 1: graduation she missed, or the game she missed, or the 165 00:09:25,840 --> 00:09:29,600 Speaker 1: parent teachers things she never went to, or the PTA meeting. 166 00:09:29,960 --> 00:09:31,880 Speaker 1: He couldn't be in cubs, guys. He had to come 167 00:09:31,920 --> 00:09:35,640 Speaker 1: out of football because she kept missing rehearsals practicing. Don't 168 00:09:35,679 --> 00:09:38,120 Speaker 1: you don't know what to build up in. This boy 169 00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:40,680 Speaker 1: has been disappointed this woman many times. This ain't the 170 00:09:40,720 --> 00:09:43,840 Speaker 1: first time. Now on the day of days when he 171 00:09:43,880 --> 00:09:46,880 Speaker 1: really wanted to show her off. Man, because every dude 172 00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:49,000 Speaker 1: wanna take his mama, he bring up there and this 173 00:09:49,080 --> 00:09:53,280 Speaker 1: is what she do, This is what she'd do. Everybody 174 00:09:53,320 --> 00:09:55,680 Speaker 1: don't get to have a good mama. So no, I 175 00:09:55,800 --> 00:09:59,360 Speaker 1: think you have met a great man and don't judge 176 00:09:59,440 --> 00:10:02,680 Speaker 1: him for that. Everybody make mistakes that he can called 177 00:10:02,720 --> 00:10:05,040 Speaker 1: his mom and apologize for calling out a name because 178 00:10:05,040 --> 00:10:07,240 Speaker 1: that's wrong. You're gonna do that to your mama. But 179 00:10:07,360 --> 00:10:11,040 Speaker 1: after that his mother was wrong. Who makes a person 180 00:10:11,240 --> 00:10:12,760 Speaker 1: get out of the house to take it too bad? 181 00:10:13,760 --> 00:10:16,760 Speaker 1: Who don't want her son? Man? A woman that watched 182 00:10:16,840 --> 00:10:22,400 Speaker 1: church on TV? What drunk mama? What you crazy? Get 183 00:10:22,440 --> 00:10:25,320 Speaker 1: your stuff? We leave, all right, Steve, We gotta got 184 00:10:26,400 --> 00:10:36,800 Speaker 1: out here. Email at your Instagram? Who isn't Who isn't 185 00:10:36,840 --> 00:10:42,559 Speaker 1: that saying church music? So you sitting here running extra 186 00:10:42,640 --> 00:10:46,920 Speaker 1: hot water and I'm saying the church. So because you 187 00:10:47,040 --> 00:10:51,880 Speaker 1: lost your man, drunk mama, you're talking to your phone, 188 00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:58,800 Speaker 1: to your people talk. You made it. Oh you've been 189 00:10:58,960 --> 00:11:03,480 Speaker 1: get your look cute, clears out of here, que clean, 190 00:11:03,559 --> 00:11:06,960 Speaker 1: clishing up in him. We will diad it broke down 191 00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:14,719 Speaker 1: all right. Post your comments on today's Strawberry Letter. It's 192 00:11:14,760 --> 00:11:19,080 Speaker 1: Steve Harvey FM on Instagram and Facebook, and don't forget 193 00:11:19,080 --> 00:11:22,440 Speaker 1: to check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand coming 194 00:11:22,520 --> 00:11:25,000 Speaker 1: up at forty six minutes after the hour. More laughter, 195 00:11:25,160 --> 00:11:29,120 Speaker 1: more fun, and more foolishness coming up on the Steve 196 00:11:29,240 --> 00:11:33,400 Speaker 1: Harvey Morning Show. You're listening to The Steve Harvey Morning Show.