Speaker 1: Hell I Suck At Dating with the Nongler and Jared
Speaker 1: Haven and I heard radio podcast What's Up? Everyone? Welcome
Speaker 1: to an all new episode of Help I Suck At Dating.
Speaker 1: The month is August. It's and now it still feels
Speaker 1: like it might be March, right like time is flying by.
Speaker 1: I feel like, right there, really is. It's insane. It's
Speaker 1: amazing how some of these days felt so long because
Speaker 1: we had nothing to do, but now it's in a
Speaker 1: blink of an eye August. What the hell is going on?
Speaker 1: It's because I think it's because all of us are
Speaker 1: just doing the same monotonous thing over and over again
Speaker 1: that you look back and you're like, what have I
Speaker 1: done the last four months? I feel like is now
Speaker 1: just going to become a way of describing horrible things? Yeah,
Speaker 1: like oh what what? What happened to Stephanie Man? But
Speaker 1: that's definitely gonna be how I'm going to justify my
Speaker 1: my twenty pounds of weight gain over the past four months. Ah,
Speaker 1: you put a little weight on? Yeah? Well yeah. Um,
Speaker 1: We've got a great episode for you guys today. We're
Speaker 1: gonna have quite a few guests. Um, We're gonna have
Speaker 1: the Lovely Chelsea Peretti. You've probably seen her all over
Speaker 1: the place Brooklyn nine nine. She also has a new
Speaker 1: movie that's coming onto all streaming platforms, but we'll talk
Speaker 1: to her later about that. We're gonna have Haley and
Speaker 1: Emily Ferguson calling in and dropping a little uh, a
Speaker 1: little a little east not an Easter egg, but podcast
Speaker 1: bomb if you will, on us, So stay tuned for
Speaker 1: that because you're not gonna want to miss out what
Speaker 1: they have to say. Um, before we do all that,
Speaker 1: there has been a couple of headlines about a show
Speaker 1: that's near and dear to mine and Jared's heart. To
Speaker 1: the Bachelorette. Ah, it looks like from what I've seen,
Speaker 1: I don't know anything. I am the most in the
Speaker 1: dark person about this. In fact, Caitlin had to walk
Speaker 1: into the bedroom the other night at like eleven PM
Speaker 1: and tell me what was going on. So apparently Claire
Speaker 1: has quote unquote quit the season with a guy that
Speaker 1: she's interested in, uh, And they brought in a new bachelorette,
Speaker 1: which they've officially announced tes Tatia. So I think that
Speaker 1: we're fully welcome to talk about this non spoil or
Speaker 1: whatever it looks like. Ta Sho has been brought in
Speaker 1: mid season to replace Claire as the Bachelorette. And this
Speaker 1: is my surface level knowledge of understanding, because again I
Speaker 1: get my uh news of Bachelorette through the curated Instagram
Speaker 1: posts for some reason that they think that I care
Speaker 1: about and I care enough to talk about it. Now, Um, Jared,
Speaker 1: what do you think about all this? It's weird because
Speaker 1: like everybody's confirming Tastia as the Bachelorette, but Warner or
Speaker 1: ABC hasn't said anything yet, so that's kind of weird.
Speaker 1: Here's what I see. And I know that Lauren Zima
Speaker 1: isn't like the voice of Warner or anything like that,
Speaker 1: but she's been tweeting and confirming and saying all this
Speaker 1: stuff that tastes a bachelorette e. New said something like
Speaker 1: US Weekly again not warnered themselves saying anything, but it
Speaker 1: sounds to me like it's happening, right, But yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean it. It sounds like it's happening, which is crazy.
Speaker 1: Also great because the rumor is Claire left with a guy,
Speaker 1: like the fact that like she had to leave the
Speaker 1: show because she just couldn't fake it. She was so
Speaker 1: in love with this one particular person that they like,
Speaker 1: she they had to get another bacheloret because like there
Speaker 1: everybody knew and the other dudes didn't have a chance.
Speaker 1: So if that is true, that's awesome because then you
Speaker 1: have one love story Claire leaves, and then now you
Speaker 1: insert Tasia and she has the potential of finding her
Speaker 1: own love stories, so you could find you know, two
Speaker 1: people could find their husbands on one season. I guess
Speaker 1: that's pretty good, isn't in Claire good? God, Like, if
Speaker 1: this is true, talk about like the prototypical right reasons
Speaker 1: person on the show, Like she just doesn't bullshit around.
Speaker 1: She went in, found her husband, was like all right,
Speaker 1: I'm good, get me the hell out of here. That's
Speaker 1: crazy that they even literally like I don't know, obviously,
Speaker 1: we don't know exactly what happened, but it's crazy that
Speaker 1: the show is like, yeah, that's a good idea, let's
Speaker 1: do that, and then we'll just bring someone else in.
Speaker 1: You know, it's gonna be really interesting to find out
Speaker 1: what exactly happened. Like, I bet you if we talked
Speaker 1: to like any of our friends that have been the
Speaker 1: Bachelor bachelorettes, I bet you they were like, yeah, I
Speaker 1: probably knew like twelve days in, but I had to
Speaker 1: finish out the rest of the season filming wise. Anyways,
Speaker 1: you probably like that kind of makes sense, like it
Speaker 1: sounds like it sucks because you knew who you wanted
Speaker 1: to pick anyways, But in this case, it sounds very
Speaker 1: much like that's the case, and she's just like, nope,
Speaker 1: I'm just not gonna film anymore, you know, Yeah, totally.
Speaker 1: It's weird, like how great was this was the connection?
Speaker 1: Just like off the charts that she really couldn't fake it.
Speaker 1: I don't know, like I feel like, like you said, yeah,
Speaker 1: there are other leads in the past that probably felt
Speaker 1: very similar where they were like, Okay, I know who
Speaker 1: I'm gonna pick three weeks in and now I just
Speaker 1: have to fake it. I don't want to, but I
Speaker 1: guess I have to. So I'm curious, like what happened?
Speaker 1: You know what? We can definitely say about it that
Speaker 1: we don't know what we're talking about. And in addition
Speaker 1: to that, uh no, that' my funny, man, unbelievable. It
Speaker 1: really like, just when you think things can't get anywhere
Speaker 1: or all right, we're gonna insert a different bachelor rette.
Speaker 1: I love though, I'm super happy for same is great.
Speaker 1: I'm stoke. I was pulling for Tasia before the Claire announcement. Anyways,
Speaker 1: happy for Claire. Don't get me wrong, Um, I just
Speaker 1: you know, I've been become friends with Tasha through the
Speaker 1: show and everything, so I'm stoked to see her hopefully
Speaker 1: find her love story if that's the case, if you know,
Speaker 1: if that actually is confirmed. Again, I don't know. I
Speaker 1: don't know either, but yeah, well I'm a big Tasia
Speaker 1: fan as well. So were you have another topic? Hot
Speaker 1: topics to start off the show? We're recording really ear
Speaker 1: in the morning. What time is it? It's like eight thirty?
Speaker 1: Good God, anyway, I have coffee. I'm good. Jason Momoa
Speaker 1: received a birthday wish from his wife, Lisa Bonnet's x
Speaker 1: Lenny Kravitz. And so Lenny is Lisa's ex and Lisa
Speaker 1: is now married to Jason Momoa, and apparently Lenny is
Speaker 1: super close with both Jason and Lisa to the point
Speaker 1: like he's obsessed with them and he's like previously spoken
Speaker 1: about about being close with both of them. But anyway,
Speaker 1: Lenny posted a picture of Jason Moe for his birthday,
Speaker 1: and people are losing their minds over this thing because
Speaker 1: they just love how much Lenny loves Jason and Lisa.
Speaker 1: So I guess the question for me, Dean is could
Speaker 1: you ever be super close with one of your ex
Speaker 1: is who's in a relationship now. I think that these
Speaker 1: people are just born different, you know, Like it's it's
Speaker 1: Lenny Kravitz arguably like the most uh the most I
Speaker 1: don't know, bangable art musician out there. It's freaking Aquaman,
Speaker 1: who everyone's got a heart on for Aquaman. Um So
Speaker 1: it's like, I don't like, obviously Lenny Kravitz is gonna
Speaker 1: be comfortable enough with his with himself, with his former
Speaker 1: relationships and all these things to be like, uh, happy
Speaker 1: birthday to my bro who's also dating my ex you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. I don't know. I just think
Speaker 1: that these people are just born different and they have zero,
Speaker 1: um uh, what's the word. I'm looking for, zero insecurities
Speaker 1: about this type of stuff, especially like in the entertainment industry.
Speaker 1: I guess like they've been in it for so long
Speaker 1: that they kind of understand, uh that you can't really
Speaker 1: hold these grudges anyway. It's like as sop as it
Speaker 1: is I'm sorry. Language is like, imagine all the good
Speaker 1: pr that they're getting just for this because they're all friends,
Speaker 1: you know, I don't know. Oh yeah, I feel like
Speaker 1: it's not just as much a business decision as it
Speaker 1: is a personal decision. But yeah, like you said, like
Speaker 1: Lenny post a picture of Jason mot and it's literally
Speaker 1: blowing up and now Lenny's you know, trending on Twitter
Speaker 1: or whatever. Yeah, I agree with you. I think that
Speaker 1: it's just like a different world being that like that
Speaker 1: level of celebrity. I I could never relate. They're just
Speaker 1: all they're born different. Like you said, uh, and Lenny
Speaker 1: and least I have a kid together. You guys probably
Speaker 1: know her. It's Zoe Kravitz. So I guess like Jason
Speaker 1: Momoa coming in, it's Jason. I don't know much about
Speaker 1: Jason Momoa. I know him. He's he's cal Drogo on
Speaker 1: Game of thrones's been watching that. He's Aquaman, which I
Speaker 1: honestly I haven't seen that movie, but he's like he's
Speaker 1: like one of the biggest actors in the world at
Speaker 1: the moment too, So it's like he's a sexy man too,
Speaker 1: goddamn stud Yeah, and he's a monster. He's like, he
Speaker 1: looks freaking huge, he's freaking cal drogo for getness sick.
Speaker 1: But my point is it's like, if if Lisa and
Speaker 1: let me have a kid together, then Jason comes into
Speaker 1: the picture, It's like, what choice do they all have
Speaker 1: other than being I'm not I'm not gonna say being
Speaker 1: obsessed with each other, because I guess you could maybe
Speaker 1: maybe scale it back a little bit, but uh, it
Speaker 1: seems like they're doing they're doing what's good for not
Speaker 1: only the kids, but for themselves, you know, yeah, totally.
Speaker 1: I mean, once you have a kid together, like you guys,
Speaker 1: like you were talking about, it changes at the game
Speaker 1: and like you have, you want to be at least
Speaker 1: cordial with your ex to make sure that you know,
Speaker 1: the parents are still very much involve all in the
Speaker 1: kid's life. So it's pretty cool to see that Lenny
Speaker 1: is not only involved but just like best friends with
Speaker 1: them all. Um, So let's talk about let's talk about
Speaker 1: the next couple that's kind of This one hits a
Speaker 1: little closer to home for me at least. So Brian
Speaker 1: Auson Green and Megan Fox split up. Megan Fox has
Speaker 1: since been dating, you know, presumably monogamously with Machine Gun Kelly.
Speaker 1: But Brian Auson Green apparently has been dating multiple people,
Speaker 1: as we do when we start dating other people, right Like,
Speaker 1: you go on multiple dates, you figure out who you like,
Speaker 1: you figure out who you don't like. But Brian Auson
Speaker 1: Green has come in to talk about how he feels
Speaker 1: like he's being a little unfairly criticized for dating multiple
Speaker 1: multiple people and how his life is under a microscope
Speaker 1: because he is quote unquote famous or in the public
Speaker 1: eye whatever. Um, what do you think about this? I
Speaker 1: don't know is he is he getting scrutiny or is
Speaker 1: he just like reading his own Twitter feed? Yeah. I
Speaker 1: feel like people just read way too much in comments
Speaker 1: and then they start losing their mind. It is funny
Speaker 1: how personal a lot of people take like these, uh,
Speaker 1: these little one off trolling comments on Twitter and stuff
Speaker 1: like that. Yeah. I mean, I'm not like in the
Speaker 1: know of pop culture. You know, a lot a lot
Speaker 1: of the news I get is from Nashley. But like
Speaker 1: Brian Austin Green, I I haven't heard any criticism for
Speaker 1: for his dating. Maybe he is widely being criticized for
Speaker 1: it and he's he's lashing back for it. But I
Speaker 1: just feel like he's reading his own Twitter mentions and
Speaker 1: like half of his Twitter mentions say we love you, Brian,
Speaker 1: and half of his Twitter mentions are saying, uh, you suck,
Speaker 1: And that's just like being in the public eye. I
Speaker 1: feel like, but I mean, dude, date whoever you want
Speaker 1: if you're single and you're being honest to these women
Speaker 1: and you're just saying, listen, I'm I'm out there, I'm
Speaker 1: dating and I'm not sure if I'm ready to settle down,
Speaker 1: Like then you're fine, you don't. There's our criticism for that.
Speaker 1: There's nothing wrong with being single as long as you're
Speaker 1: being honest. And now he's kind of perpetuating it to
Speaker 1: like we're all talking about him dating or round, which
Speaker 1: means more like you know, there's gonna be like more
Speaker 1: talk of him dating around. I think this issue here
Speaker 1: is going from dating someone like Megan Fox, who is
Speaker 1: like widely heralded as like you know, like she's obviously
Speaker 1: been the hottest girl around for basically two decades at
Speaker 1: this point there, it's like after you go from Megan
Speaker 1: Fox to whoever you go from, you're kind of kind
Speaker 1: of be labeled as a as an f boy, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. So it's like, yeah, fairly though
Speaker 1: I feel like, oh, don't get me wrong, it's totally unfair.
Speaker 1: But it's like I think people are coming to Megan
Speaker 1: support and being like, oh, Brian Austin Green is now
Speaker 1: dating people like he was never a good guy in
Speaker 1: the first place, you know what I mean. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: remember when Machine Gun Gilly and Eminem had that feud.
Speaker 1: You remember that at all? They they wrote like this
Speaker 1: songs back and forth to each other. The rap worlds
Speaker 1: is a world that I would not be. I would
Speaker 1: not thrive it. But so it's I've never listened to
Speaker 1: Machine Gun Kelly. I find his music, in my opinion,
Speaker 1: very good. I have friends who know the guy, and
Speaker 1: they all say he's really really great and nice. He's
Speaker 1: also were like really good friends with Pete Davidson, and
Speaker 1: I'm a big Pete Davidson stand guy. So uh um,
Speaker 1: I like Machine Gun Kelly because of that association. I
Speaker 1: haven't jumped on the Pete Davidson chain. But you want
Speaker 1: to talk about someone that dates around, and that's Pete
Speaker 1: Davidson through and through. It seems like he's always dating
Speaker 1: someone new. I don't know. I mean it does he
Speaker 1: I mean obviously the Ariana Grande stuff like freaking blue up.
Speaker 1: It was that two years ago. Damn, that's crazy. I
Speaker 1: remember that summer when like everybody got engaged, Pete Davidson,
Speaker 1: Ariana Grande, I think nick and what's her name, Prianka? Yes, Nicko,
Speaker 1: Priyanka got engaged. And there's somebody else. Oh, Justin and
Speaker 1: Haley they got married. I don't know, I don't ask me.
Speaker 1: The only reason I remember that is because that was
Speaker 1: the summer actually and I got engaged, and like we
Speaker 1: were like kind of lumped into that group, which is
Speaker 1: like the coolest thing ever because we're so undeserving of it,
Speaker 1: but like, you know, we were the last ones. It
Speaker 1: was like Justin and Haley they were talking about all
Speaker 1: the engagers during the summer, and they were at the top,
Speaker 1: and then we had like a little blurb at the bottom.
Speaker 1: But the fact that we had a little blurb like
Speaker 1: attached to that article was like really cool. Are you
Speaker 1: kind of pissed that Justin Bieber still your thunder a
Speaker 1: little bit? Not at all? The fact that I will
Speaker 1: jump on Justin Bieber's back anytime, I mean, it's good now.
Speaker 1: I looked it up. So I looked at Pete Davidson's
Speaker 1: most recent ex girl friends because I do remember a
Speaker 1: couple of big names in there, and the first ones
Speaker 1: that come up, I'm just gonna read them all for
Speaker 1: you real quick. Okay, I'm ready, all right. So it's uh,
Speaker 1: Carly Aquilino, which I don't know who that is either,
Speaker 1: Kazzie David You know who that is. Oh, that's Larry
Speaker 1: David's daughter. Larry David's daughter. Yep, that's awesome. This was
Speaker 1: a couple of years ago. They split two many two
Speaker 1: years ago. Are you on a grandde We all know
Speaker 1: that one's super well. Kate beck and Sale, which was
Speaker 1: the one that I was thinking of. Kate Beckinsale obviously
Speaker 1: is a big name. Remember that one. What a weird
Speaker 1: couple but also awesome at the same time. Didn't Kate
Speaker 1: Beckinsale used to date someone else interesting too. I think
Speaker 1: she's she's dated a lot of guys. She's gotten flak
Speaker 1: for it, which again is such bull I wish I
Speaker 1: could just swear. I swear, I know, but it's just
Speaker 1: gonna get bleaped out. It sucks. We should really start
Speaker 1: swearing on this podcast, because, like, it's just a part
Speaker 1: of my vernacular. But anyway, it's just bulls that Kate
Speaker 1: Beckinsale is getting backlash. She's single too, like who cares?
Speaker 1: Let her date whoever she wants. Yeah, I guess I
Speaker 1: looked it up. She does. She she actually hasn't had
Speaker 1: that many boyfriends, but I guess as soon as she
Speaker 1: started dating Pete Davidson, who I mean, it is admittedly
Speaker 1: twenty years her junior. Maybe that's kind of why drew
Speaker 1: so many more headlines or her junior. You're reminded me
Speaker 1: of Indiana Jones, the Jr. Nobody gets my references. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're a little too nerdy for for some of those
Speaker 1: actually doesn't get my references either. It's honestly like one
Speaker 1: of the downsides of our relationship because I'm a big
Speaker 1: movie quote guy and she doesn't know any of the
Speaker 1: movies I quote. I'm sure there's a lot of women
Speaker 1: listening that can relate to that that like their guys
Speaker 1: just quote movies and they have no idea what the
Speaker 1: hell they're talking about, and the guy thinks they're really funny,
Speaker 1: and the girl thinks they're an idiot. I feel like
Speaker 1: it's kind of typically how relationships work anyways, the girl
Speaker 1: thinks the guys an idiot and the guy is an idiot. Oh,
Speaker 1: I mean that's like universally known. But I'm just talking
Speaker 1: about movie other things that you do that Calin just
Speaker 1: like our jokes that you crack that Caitlin just does
Speaker 1: not get like for me, Like I said, I quote movies,
Speaker 1: Well you were what hell you're You're younger than Ashley,
Speaker 1: aren't you by like nine months? Yeah, so you guys
Speaker 1: are pretty close in age. It's funny how much of
Speaker 1: a difference because Caitlin's twenty five, I'm twenty nine. It's
Speaker 1: funny how much of a difference just those four years make.
Speaker 1: In like our pop culture, like the movies that I
Speaker 1: watched as a kid versus the movies that she watched
Speaker 1: as a kid. And and granted, like geography was different.
Speaker 1: I was in Colorado, she was in Virginia, And people
Speaker 1: just get brought up differently in different parts of the country, obviously,
Speaker 1: but I'll like there are times where all like reference
Speaker 1: like a Disney Channel original movie, uh, and she has
Speaker 1: never heard of it or never seen it. And you
Speaker 1: ever see like those those memes where it's like if
Speaker 1: she doesn't know the fresh Prince of bel Air in
Speaker 1: show songs, she's too young for you, bro, oh all
Speaker 1: the time. I love those things. Yeah, And so I'm
Speaker 1: always like, if she doesn't know who Andy Brink Brinker is,
Speaker 1: she's too young for you, bro, And she like doesn't
Speaker 1: know who Brink is, and like just like a little
Speaker 1: stupid things like that, who's Brink? Is that? The Disney
Speaker 1: original movie that you're talking about? Is that the skateboarding one?
Speaker 1: It's not skateboarding, humaniac, it's roller but's soul skating, rollerblading, Okay,
Speaker 1: roller blading. I think I remember that one. That was
Speaker 1: like one of the best, if not the best, Disney
Speaker 1: Channel original movies. So little things like that, even I
Speaker 1: guess because you're thirty two, I'll be thirty two in November,
Speaker 1: so I'm a little bit older than you. So that's
Speaker 1: why I think the movies are a different. So there's
Speaker 1: some jokes that fall to the cracks because of that disconnects.
Speaker 1: But then also she watches like a lot of like
Speaker 1: real housewives and reality shows. Oh, she's a reality v junkie,
Speaker 1: and she's like, do you know who this girl is?
Speaker 1: Or this girl is? And I'm like, uh, not really,
Speaker 1: is that okay? Yeah? And they're like, I guess I
Speaker 1: would recognize their faces. There's a couple of ones that
Speaker 1: she's watching now that I'm like, oh, yeah, I know
Speaker 1: who that person is, but I never would have thought
Speaker 1: to like register them in my memory otherwise, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean. Yeah, Ashley had me watching Fiance last
Speaker 1: week and it's I just it's good. It's good TV.
Speaker 1: I like ninety Day Fiance, but I just have a
Speaker 1: hard time getting into reality TV, which is very ironic
Speaker 1: seeing how my life was surrounded and still is my
Speaker 1: reality TV. Yeah, that is pretty especially just given who
Speaker 1: your wife is. I think. I mean, she's the ultimate
Speaker 1: reality TV junkie personality. That's like just so you know,
Speaker 1: she loves it, you know what, I love my wife.
Speaker 1: She's the best. We do have Chelsea Peretti, who's not
Speaker 1: on the line yet, but she will be coming on
Speaker 1: very shortly and we're very excited to have her on
Speaker 1: the podcast. Um you know her from Brooklyn uh nine.
Speaker 1: She has a new movie coming out on v o
Speaker 1: D Calling Spinster. We're very excited to talk to Chelsea,
Speaker 1: but before we do, let's take a quick break. Wait,
Speaker 1: before we take a break, can I say something? Of course,
Speaker 1: you can say whatever you want, Jane. This is your podcast,
Speaker 1: this is our podcast. There's gonna be We're gonna probably
Speaker 1: mention this a few times throughout this podcast and next
Speaker 1: week podcast, but I at least want to mention it
Speaker 1: here as well. On August eighteen, at five thirty Pacific,
Speaker 1: we are having a help I Suck at Dating live show.
Speaker 1: You heard that right, We're having a live show. We're
Speaker 1: gonna do it digitally, of course. Um, you can get
Speaker 1: your tickets there ten dollars, but if you buy the
Speaker 1: special ticket package for twenty dollars, you also get a
Speaker 1: free Suck Army beanie with that ticket. Um. We all
Speaker 1: suck at dating. August eighteen couples days, so obviously if
Speaker 1: you suck at dating, you'll be available that day to
Speaker 1: join us. We're stick to be doing it. We've never
Speaker 1: done this before. We don't really know how it's going
Speaker 1: to go, but we know we're gonna have a lot
Speaker 1: of fun. We know that we want you there. If
Speaker 1: you want a ticket again, we're gonna chech. We're gonna
Speaker 1: we're gonna promote this later on as well. But if
Speaker 1: you want to ticket, go to high Sad dot tixer
Speaker 1: dot com, so h I s A D dot t
Speaker 1: i x r dot com uh and check it out.
Speaker 1: Be sure to get the free beanie with your special
Speaker 1: ticket as well. It should be fun. I don't know,
Speaker 1: like obviously we have the ability to edit post show
Speaker 1: with these podcasts, so it'll be interesting to see how
Speaker 1: a live show goes. But I'm looking forward to it.
Speaker 1: What do you think, Jared? Yeah, it will be fun.
Speaker 1: We're super excited. Once again August eighteen, and ironically enough,
Speaker 1: August is couples Day, so obviously if you suck at dating,
Speaker 1: you'll be available, So why don't you stop on by
Speaker 1: to help I Suck a Dating live podcast again. Get
Speaker 1: your tickets at h I S A D dot t
Speaker 1: i x r dot com. Uh. Dean and I will
Speaker 1: be promoting that one, so you can just follow us
Speaker 1: on social media and check out our Instagram stories Jamus
Speaker 1: plug to get your tickets, and once again, tickets are
Speaker 1: only ten bucks, but we're doing an awesome package because
Speaker 1: if you for you can not only get a ticket,
Speaker 1: but you can get a Suck Army beanie and it's camo,
Speaker 1: so it's awesome and we've seen the beanies. They're actually
Speaker 1: really cool. Uh. They're a little bit different than the
Speaker 1: ones Dean and I had. We posted about them a
Speaker 1: while ago, and Dean, Dean and I just had black
Speaker 1: with white lettering. But these are Camo beanies with white
Speaker 1: and orange lettering. They're pretty awesome. Bucks, it's a good deal.
Speaker 1: We'll see you August eighteen. All right, welcome back to
Speaker 1: help I suck it dating with a very special guests
Speaker 1: on the line right now. You know her from a
Speaker 1: role on Fox's Brooklyn nine nine. She has a new movie.
Speaker 1: Well it's it's been out for a little while, but
Speaker 1: it's coming to v O D and Digital on August seven.
Speaker 1: It is called Spinster. It is the wonderful, the funny
Speaker 1: Chelsea Peretti. Chelsea, thank you so much for joining us.
Speaker 1: Thanks for having me. Guys know, we appreciate it. So
Speaker 1: talk a little bit about Spinster, which will be like
Speaker 1: I said, on v O D and Digital on August seven. Uh,
Speaker 1: Spinster is a story about a woman who uh is
Speaker 1: single on her thirty ninth birthday. And why did you
Speaker 1: want to do this movie? Um? Well, I liked stories
Speaker 1: that aren't like you know, cliche. Um, romance stories and
Speaker 1: this movie was directed by Andrew Dorfman, who lives in
Speaker 1: Nova Scotia. I looked. I checked out her other movies
Speaker 1: when I was off with the role, and I thought
Speaker 1: she was so cool and I love female directors. Um,
Speaker 1: that are good, and uh, I wanted to go to
Speaker 1: Nova Scotia and I liked her work. So it just
Speaker 1: kind of came together. I was, I had it. I
Speaker 1: think my son was eight months old at the time,
Speaker 1: so I kind of me and my son and my
Speaker 1: awesome nanny we all went to Nova Scotia, and um,
Speaker 1: I had this little adventure. But yeah, I just liked
Speaker 1: the role that it was looking at, you know, making
Speaker 1: your own life interesting and making your own life exciting
Speaker 1: and not looking externally for someone else to do that
Speaker 1: for you, you know about especially especially in Nova Scotia.
Speaker 1: I can only imagine how difficult it be to meet
Speaker 1: someone in Nova Scotia. And we watched we watched the
Speaker 1: trailer for the movie just before having you on here,
Speaker 1: and we were admiring it looks great, looks hilarious. Um
Speaker 1: was it? Was it for a role like that? Right?
Speaker 1: Because you are married, you do have a child. Is
Speaker 1: it weird? To like put yourself into a role where
Speaker 1: you're kind of like the same person in ways but
Speaker 1: then also so very different at the same time, you know. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean I felt like there was a time before
Speaker 1: I got before I met my husband, where I was like, well,
Speaker 1: men in l A are kind of like suck and
Speaker 1: are you guys based in l A. We are, but
Speaker 1: we fully agree with you that men in l A
Speaker 1: su Yeah, it's it's a nightmare. So I was like,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm a comedian. All my friends are like
Speaker 1: the funniest people in country. Worst case scenario, I'm going
Speaker 1: to travel a lot, I'm gonna laugh a lot, and
Speaker 1: I'm gonna have a great life, and I'm probably never
Speaker 1: going to meet someone in l A. Because, like I said,
Speaker 1: you know, the men here are um questionable. So then
Speaker 1: out of nowhere, my husband came and then I had
Speaker 1: a child, and all these things came together. But I
Speaker 1: certainly wasn't sure my whole life if that's what my
Speaker 1: future would hold, or even if that's what I wanted
Speaker 1: until I met him. Um, but yeah, I had a
Speaker 1: whole vision of what my life would be without out
Speaker 1: my family and and all that, and and I kind
Speaker 1: of come to terms with it. So I liked that
Speaker 1: this character goes on this journey to figure out. You know,
Speaker 1: it's a very small, sweet movie. It's not like you know,
Speaker 1: it's just it's it's sort of like living with someone
Speaker 1: and kind of taking them in and joining them on
Speaker 1: this sort of like small journey to figure out like
Speaker 1: a way to be happy, which you know, as as
Speaker 1: as many of us are quarantined aside from you know,
Speaker 1: all the influencers that are having big parties right now. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, it's it's kind of I think will be
Speaker 1: a nice a nice tone and in that it's very
Speaker 1: kind of meditative. Yeah. I like the message of the
Speaker 1: movie because there is this stigma around women being sing
Speaker 1: little later in life. I feel like there's more of
Speaker 1: a stingba for it than there is a man, if
Speaker 1: that makes sense, Like a man is single in his
Speaker 1: late thirties, it's seen as more normal, whereas a woman
Speaker 1: who's single in her late thirties it's it's jarring. Which
Speaker 1: most people that I know in big cities tend to
Speaker 1: settle down later, whether they're women or men. You know,
Speaker 1: I kind of feel like it's like a city thing. Um,
Speaker 1: But yeah, I mean, part of the l a thing
Speaker 1: is like every guy here wants to be with like
Speaker 1: a twenty year old, so it's not you know, or
Speaker 1: even younger as some news stories explained. But yeah, so
Speaker 1: it's nice to um, well, now getting out a tangent.
Speaker 1: But yeah, in the in the movie, you know, she
Speaker 1: she's nurturing other relationships in her life, and you know,
Speaker 1: I think like that's the way to love yourself and
Speaker 1: to love someone else's by focusing on all the relationships
Speaker 1: in your life. You can't just isolate and focus everything
Speaker 1: on one person because that's you know, making them like
Speaker 1: God or something. Right. Yeah, there's a lot of messages
Speaker 1: in the movie that I really enjoy, one of them
Speaker 1: being you're discussing the like in the movie you talk about, Uh,
Speaker 1: somebody was like kind of criticizing your character for growing
Speaker 1: up older being single, and you're like, why is that
Speaker 1: a bad thing? Because I'm not dying young. That's a
Speaker 1: good thing, being like having the opportunity to grow old.
Speaker 1: And I feel like, you know, especially in this podcast,
Speaker 1: because this is what we do, we talk about dating relationships,
Speaker 1: but we solely focused on the idea of meeting that person,
Speaker 1: getting married and having kids, which is wonderful and important,
Speaker 1: but also you know, other people, like there's other happiness
Speaker 1: in other ways to find love, and I feel like
Speaker 1: it generates from from within mostly, like you have to
Speaker 1: find happiness from within before you can find it with
Speaker 1: someone else. And this is what kind of like the
Speaker 1: theme of the movie is to me. Yeah, yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean I just got distracted because I was like, you know,
Speaker 1: I know that we've watched you guys in the Bachelor,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, I can't I'm trying to remember what
Speaker 1: I felt about you, and I can't remember. And it's
Speaker 1: like I I should have been like deeply revisiting these
Speaker 1: things before I talk to you, So get into it.
Speaker 1: But I'm wait, so you guys are both are you
Speaker 1: and are you single? Are you married? We're both in relationships.
Speaker 1: My mind is a little bit less uh less Eve
Speaker 1: though Dean wears a ring on his finger, but he
Speaker 1: says he's not married. Okay, Okay, so you know, I
Speaker 1: think nowadays you can do it however you want. But
Speaker 1: the true thing is, like with climate change, I think
Speaker 1: that like marriage and kids is starting to seem more
Speaker 1: and more. I mean, what is it just seems more
Speaker 1: and more like a choice of many choices, because you know,
Speaker 1: it's scary to have a kid right now and be
Speaker 1: what is the future? Right? That's that's what I mean.
Speaker 1: It's an important thing to talk about. It's actually funny
Speaker 1: because my because Calin really wants kids at some point.
Speaker 1: I've always been pro pro kid up until like the
Speaker 1: last five or so years, when I'm starting to say, like,
Speaker 1: is it really ethical to bring a child into this world?
Speaker 1: Because like you said, it's like with climate change everything
Speaker 1: and even just like political turmoil that everything is going on,
Speaker 1: It's like, is it really good time to bring bring
Speaker 1: a kid in this world? And obviously I think, like
Speaker 1: the thing is, it's like the main reason we're all
Speaker 1: here is for pro creation, right is like to kind
Speaker 1: of pass on our lineage onto the next people below
Speaker 1: us or whoever raised children to come after us. But
Speaker 1: like it's just it's maybe it's like you just let
Speaker 1: have less children than we're used to having. Like before
Speaker 1: in the seventies, eighties, nineties, it was like, oh, I've
Speaker 1: got a family of seven siblings, but now it's more
Speaker 1: like only Child's definitely statistically true, people are having way
Speaker 1: less kids. But I also think like on your generations,
Speaker 1: are not even sure if yeah, like what you're saying,
Speaker 1: if it's even ethical I have kids. I mean I
Speaker 1: think that, um, you know, on some level where animals,
Speaker 1: even though we convince ourselves where all these other things
Speaker 1: like or we're so different from animals, and so I
Speaker 1: think we have like instincts and desires, but I mean
Speaker 1: some of us do not. Everyone wants to have a
Speaker 1: kid and um, but so in some ways, I'm like, well,
Speaker 1: you just have your kid, and you survive as long
Speaker 1: as you can. But it's just it, it is terrifying
Speaker 1: to be like, I didn't mean to take this podcast
Speaker 1: to this place. Let's talk about I'm like, the world
Speaker 1: is ending. Don't have kids, it's all downhill. But I mean,
Speaker 1: I guess it is like to bring it back to
Speaker 1: the movie Spinster. It's like, you know, I think not
Speaker 1: having kids is absolutely I as intelligent and as instinct
Speaker 1: of of a choice at this point as having kids.
Speaker 1: And you know, it's cool to explore someone who's having
Speaker 1: a beautiful life and it's not about that. You know,
Speaker 1: it's like a woman who that's not her her means
Speaker 1: to happiness and contentment, and you know there's no like
Speaker 1: to be continued kind of thing. It's just like she figures,
Speaker 1: you know, she she finds a way to um make
Speaker 1: her life full. So for the listeners out there, because
Speaker 1: we do have women uh in their you know, thirties, forties,
Speaker 1: fifties even that listen to this podcast that are I
Speaker 1: would imagine single, what advice would you have for them?
Speaker 1: I know you said to not prioritize your just for
Speaker 1: your one romantic relationship. You have all these other relationships
Speaker 1: that you should focus on as well. But is there
Speaker 1: anything maybe that you learned through the movie or even
Speaker 1: just through your own personal life that like one bit
Speaker 1: of advice that you can give someone uh that's around
Speaker 1: the thirty or forty age range that that might be
Speaker 1: struggling with it. Well, this book, there's this this um
Speaker 1: I think she's a therapist. She has this whole book series,
Speaker 1: Dance of This, Dance of that. But one of them
Speaker 1: is Dance of Connection. And I read it many many,
Speaker 1: probably decades ago, like five decades. Oh yeah, I forgot,
Speaker 1: but but she talks about that concept of like it's counterintuitive,
Speaker 1: but if you want to improve your love relationship, you
Speaker 1: need to work on your other relationships. So like, if
Speaker 1: you have issues with your parents and you don't resolve them,
Speaker 1: and then you put all those issues right into your
Speaker 1: new relationship, you know, with this this love relationship. So
Speaker 1: I liked that concept, and I do think this movie
Speaker 1: kind of echoes those concepts. And it's up to you,
Speaker 1: Like do you think where do you think that my
Speaker 1: character will eventually wind up? I think it's in the
Speaker 1: eye of the beholder. It's up to you too to
Speaker 1: have your own interpretation. But I feel personally attacked after
Speaker 1: hearing that. I'll be honest, Why, Yeah, I got it.
Speaker 1: I got a lot of ironing out my relationship with
Speaker 1: my father to do. But well, listen, don't we all?
Speaker 1: Don't we all? Yeah, those are never even there. You know.
Speaker 1: That's like, that's one hurdle you cleared if your dad
Speaker 1: is even around, right, I'll take this as a as
Speaker 1: a catalyst to to help me improve that perhaps, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, listen, it doesn't have to be your dad
Speaker 1: if that wants to challenge you. But I'm just saying,
Speaker 1: you know, you can't have dysfunction with everyone else in
Speaker 1: your life, and then I think that your your love
Speaker 1: relationship is going to be perfect, you know, for sure? Yeah, absolutely,
Speaker 1: all right, Kelsea. Well, so we have Spencer coming out
Speaker 1: on V O D and digital everywhere August seven, right
Speaker 1: where else can we uh look to find anything else
Speaker 1: that you're working on? Well, I'm I'm a musician now
Speaker 1: as well. I've created an album. It's a concept album
Speaker 1: about coffee. Um, and as we all know, coffee is
Speaker 1: very sexy and oh it's the best. I'm drinking mine
Speaker 1: right now. Listen, I had I had a ton this morning.
Speaker 1: Um didn't really help me get organized, but that's right.
Speaker 1: But but yeah, so I have an EP called Foam
Speaker 1: and Flotsam. I wanted to choose the most pretentious title
Speaker 1: I could think of, and and I have a new
Speaker 1: EP coming out um really soon that I'm excited about,
Speaker 1: and then we'll have the album after that. So it's
Speaker 1: I'm working with a producer called cool ko Jack, who
Speaker 1: is like a true real producer and has made my
Speaker 1: my songs actually sound good. So they're funny and but
Speaker 1: they're still good. Do you guys smell that? I don't
Speaker 1: know if you guys can smell that from all the
Speaker 1: over there, but it smells like a Grammy. That's right,
Speaker 1: we got a Grammy on our hands. If they still exist,
Speaker 1: we'll see what happens when we all emerge from our houses.
Speaker 1: What's going to happen? Fair point? All right, Chelsea, Well,
Speaker 1: thank you so much for joining us. For the listeners,
Speaker 1: be sure and checker out on Spinster, and be sure
Speaker 1: to check out the album coming out. Come tell me
Speaker 1: one more time. It's Foam and from Them, and then
Speaker 1: there will be on mowep. But if you search my name,
Speaker 1: Chelsea Peretti, one ur two teas, you'll find it. Let's
Speaker 1: get this girl at Grahammy you guys, thank you so
Speaker 1: much for joining us. Thanks guys, Thanks, take care. All right,
Speaker 1: we're gonna take one quick break and when we get back,
Speaker 1: we have two more guests you're not gonna want to miss,
Speaker 1: and we're gonna answer some very pressing listener emails before
Speaker 1: we hit the break. I just want to encourage the emailers.
Speaker 1: I suck a Dating on iHeart media dot Com sent
Speaker 1: him in. We'll answer him live on air on our
Speaker 1: live show even perhaps, but we'll take a quick break
Speaker 1: and we'll be right back. All right, welcome back to
Speaker 1: help I Suck at Dating. We have two very special
Speaker 1: women who are on the line right now. You of
Speaker 1: course know of them from the Bachelor franchise, and there
Speaker 1: are also hosting uh their podcast this week, What a
Speaker 1: Girl Wants, which will be in our feed the Help
Speaker 1: I Suck a Dating feene on our Heart Radio app
Speaker 1: or wherever you get your podcast. It is Emily and
Speaker 1: Haley ferguson the Fergi Twins, The Twins. Emily Haley, how
Speaker 1: are you guys? Hi? Guys, Hi, how are you guys?
Speaker 1: Thanks so much for letting us host. Oh, of course
Speaker 1: it's our privilege. You're gonna do far better than we ever.
Speaker 1: Could I promise you that? No, no way, that's impossible.
Speaker 1: I mean we were pretty funny. Yeah, I'm not gonna lie.
Speaker 1: We were pretty funny, but you guys are usually pretty funny.
Speaker 1: So tell us tease us a little bit about what
Speaker 1: we can expect this Thursday from What a Girl Wants. So,
Speaker 1: my sister and I both date professional athletes, so we
Speaker 1: talked about how to land an athlete and some silly
Speaker 1: funny stories about dating European men, and then we, I
Speaker 1: don't know, there's just so much that we do. We
Speaker 1: talk a lot about dating. We how we kind of
Speaker 1: went from sucking at dating to how we are now
Speaker 1: in really good relationships and love now. So yeah, it's
Speaker 1: pretty much it without giving too much away, it's a
Speaker 1: lot about dating. I'm I'm excited to hear this because
Speaker 1: last time I talked to Haley, she was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm not going to date an athlete because I've talked
Speaker 1: to a couple of them I didn't like them. So
Speaker 1: I gotta say this one has to be very special,
Speaker 1: and I'm looking forward to listening to the podcast because
Speaker 1: we might be able to learn a little bit more
Speaker 1: about what makes them so special. Yeah, it's so true.
Speaker 1: I was definitely dead set on like not dating an athlete,
Speaker 1: but I changed her mind because athletes aren't as bad
Speaker 1: as people perceived them to be. I mean, some of
Speaker 1: them probably suck, absolutely, but that just goes for all
Speaker 1: the European ones don't suck. Okay, they're awesome. It seems
Speaker 1: like you guys landed a couple of winners too, which
Speaker 1: is absolutely I definitely feel that way too. And you
Speaker 1: guys also date hockey players, and I feel like hockey
Speaker 1: players just have a different mentality than other professional sports.
Speaker 1: I agree. That actually makes me happy that you said
Speaker 1: that because I agree, like, I definitely like when we
Speaker 1: were working in the clubs met a bunch of different
Speaker 1: types of athletes, never really hockey players. But now that
Speaker 1: we've met hockey players, there, to me just a little differ,
Speaker 1: very different, a little more like down to earth. I
Speaker 1: don't know. I can't explain it, but they're really good people. Well,
Speaker 1: you get the chance to explain it on Thursday when
Speaker 1: we listen to you guys on what what is it?
Speaker 1: What a woman? What a girl wants? I'm sorry, I
Speaker 1: keep wanting to say what a woman wants, but that's
Speaker 1: the Mel Gibson movie and I got to stop mixing
Speaker 1: those up. Sweet. Well, we're excited, and honestly, like Jared said,
Speaker 1: you guys are probably gonna host better than we ever
Speaker 1: could and you'll replace us on help. I second dating permanently,
Speaker 1: but it's a risk we're willing to take. Honestly. Oh,
Speaker 1: it's just inevitable at this point. Once you guys got
Speaker 1: your foot in the door, it's all over. Oh No,
Speaker 1: guys are awesome. I'm blushing. That's too nice though. Yeah. Well,
Speaker 1: I have a question though for you guys, before you
Speaker 1: started dating your respective boyfriends, what was it like dating
Speaker 1: as twins? Because we all a little bit on that
Speaker 1: on our season of Bachelor Paradise, where you guys, I
Speaker 1: forget the guy's name that you guys want to date with,
Speaker 1: but you tricked him that Brandon Brandon. Do you guys
Speaker 1: ever do that outside of Paradise? We're like Emily, you
Speaker 1: would go on a date, but then halfway through the day, Haley,
Speaker 1: you would switch and see if you notice. No, we've
Speaker 1: never done that, but like we've definitely like helped each other,
Speaker 1: righte text messages, like she would take my phone and
Speaker 1: pretend to be me and then like just help me
Speaker 1: talk to guys. But we've never actually switched. And the
Speaker 1: boy that Haley dates now is all because of me,
Speaker 1: because I was I was always way better at dating
Speaker 1: than Haley Woods just picking guys in general. But I
Speaker 1: mean we usually have complete opposite tastes in men looks. Why,
Speaker 1: so it was never really an issue like dating guys. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but like definitely in the past before we started dating,
Speaker 1: athletes who were just terrible at dating never went on
Speaker 1: dates because they're so awkward and so hard to like.
Speaker 1: It's so first dates are the actually worst thing in
Speaker 1: the world. They're so awkward and they usually always want
Speaker 1: to go out to eat, which is just like what
Speaker 1: if food gets stuck in my teeth? Like, I don't
Speaker 1: know why used to take fireball shot before you Yeah,
Speaker 1: she used to have fireball in her car ready to
Speaker 1: take shots before her date. You know, you never know
Speaker 1: when you need a little fireball. Yeah. See, well we're
Speaker 1: stuck to listen to more from you guys on Thursday.
Speaker 1: We know you've got to get out of here, but
Speaker 1: on Thursday, What a Girl Wants on the I Heart
Speaker 1: Radio app from this podcast or wherever you get your podcasts,
Speaker 1: be sure to check out Hailey and Emily ferguson We're
Speaker 1: stoked guy. Yeah, of course, looking forward to hearing more
Speaker 1: from your talk soon. Yeah, that's gonna be awesome. All right,
Speaker 1: enjoy getting your hair done. Thank you by all right.
Speaker 1: As if we didn't plug it enough this Thursday, Uh,
Speaker 1: they will be coming out with their own episode of
Speaker 1: What a Girl Wants, a sub branch podcast of Help
Speaker 1: I Sucker Dating. We're gonna make this more of a
Speaker 1: regular fixture. Well we'll bring in former alums. Of course
Speaker 1: they will be girls, because that's with the title entails.
Speaker 1: You're sick of here in perspective of me and Jared
Speaker 1: of Guys on on on dating and all the stupid
Speaker 1: things that we don't know. So we're bringing in, We're
Speaker 1: bringing in more experts. I feel like what we say
Speaker 1: this every week, but we just like continue continue to
Speaker 1: spew nonsense and listen, which is great, thank you for listening.
Speaker 1: But I feel like, maybe bring some women and start
Speaker 1: speaking some intelligence on this podcast would be a good idea.
Speaker 1: And even if it's more nonsense that at least it'll
Speaker 1: be coming from nonsense without a y chromosome, which I
Speaker 1: think might also be beneficial for our listeners about. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so tune in this Thursday, What a Girl Wants This week,
Speaker 1: we'll have Emily and Haley on. Next week we will
Speaker 1: have another host or hosts. We will tell you more
Speaker 1: about that next week as it goes on. But we're
Speaker 1: stoked about this. I'm excited to hear from them as well.
Speaker 1: So let's tune in, all right, sweet, let's take a
Speaker 1: little break, all right, welcome back. We are going to
Speaker 1: hit a couple of emails before sending you guys on
Speaker 1: your way today, as we always like to do um
Speaker 1: before we do, Before we do this, before burns your
Speaker 1: earbuds off. We want to make sure and encourage you
Speaker 1: guys to email us. It's a help. I suck it dating,
Speaker 1: you know, I suck it dating at iHeart Media dot com. Wow,
Speaker 1: I'm just it's too early, man. I had any coffee? Coffee? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't know how you're doing this podcast. Well, I'm
Speaker 1: staying at Courtney's house in Malibu and I felt bad
Speaker 1: waking him up to make me coffee. He's got like
Speaker 1: a very fancy French press or no, like a spresso machine.
Speaker 1: Now tell him it makes the coffee. Yeah, yeah, Courtney
Speaker 1: made me some coffee. Uh yeah, okay, maybe like to
Speaker 1: deliver some of that French press over here to West Hollywood.
Speaker 1: I appreciate it. Yeah, alright, anyways, I suck a dating
Speaker 1: at iHeart Media at dot com. Don't forget to email us.
Speaker 1: We love hearing from you guys. You know that, so
Speaker 1: keep them coming. All right. We got an email from
Speaker 1: our favorite emailer, Anonymous a k a. Jared Nick Mile.
Speaker 1: Yeah that's who it is. Uh, Nick wants to know. Okay,
Speaker 1: Anonymous wants to know Hidina, Jared. I love listening to
Speaker 1: your podcast. My question is can you be friends with
Speaker 1: benefits with next? My ex broke up with me and
Speaker 1: we still hook up and hang out. He says he
Speaker 1: still has feelings for me, but he doesn't want to
Speaker 1: be in a relationship. Help, what do I do? Can
Speaker 1: I still be friends with him? I think you're all
Speaker 1: kind of know where this one's going, right, are we
Speaker 1: kind of on the same page of this one saying that, Listen,
Speaker 1: it's hard to be friends of the next, it's even
Speaker 1: harder to be friends with the next that you're sleeping with. Um.
Speaker 1: It sounds like, sorry, sorry to put you into a
Speaker 1: pigeonhole here, Anonymous, but it sounds like you probably still
Speaker 1: want to be in a relationship with your ex and
Speaker 1: he doesn't want to be and you might think that
Speaker 1: by sleeping with him and being in a friends with
Speaker 1: benefit situation might eventually warm him up to the idea
Speaker 1: of getting back into a relationship with you. And listen,
Speaker 1: don't get me wrong, I've been on both sides of this.
Speaker 1: I have been uh friends with an X that I've
Speaker 1: wanted to get back with and we've been hooking up.
Speaker 1: And I've also been friends of the next hooking up
Speaker 1: with them knowing after the fact that they wanted to
Speaker 1: get back with me. Uh. And I can tell you
Speaker 1: wholeheartedly with confidence that neither of those worked out well.
Speaker 1: They didn't end poorly. There was no fighting, there was
Speaker 1: no bridges being burned, but obviously, uh, we never got
Speaker 1: back to being in relationships, whether I wanted to or
Speaker 1: whether they wanted to, or vice versa. So I just
Speaker 1: want to say, like, for this emailer, if your end
Speaker 1: goal is to get back with your ex, the likelihood
Speaker 1: of that happening, because you guys are in a friends
Speaker 1: with benefit situation now, is very slim. Yeah, I don't
Speaker 1: have expectations for this one. If you're hooking up with
Speaker 1: them and you have no expectations of getting back together
Speaker 1: and you just kind of want to hook up with
Speaker 1: your X, I mean, go forward, sure, do whatever you want.
Speaker 1: It's free country, but there's I don't buy into this,
Speaker 1: bs of Oh. I still have feelings for you, but
Speaker 1: I just don't want to be in a relationship right now.
Speaker 1: Don't fall for it, don't listen to it. It's probably
Speaker 1: best if you just cut it off right now, like
Speaker 1: Dean says, before you get her even further. Uh, because
Speaker 1: you're not getting back together with this guy. That's what
Speaker 1: it sounds like to me. I mean, you can be
Speaker 1: friends with I'm sure that's what the emailer asked, Like,
Speaker 1: can I be still be friends with him? Of course
Speaker 1: you can't. Sure why not you'd be friends with benefits,
Speaker 1: But if there's feelings involved and you have expectations of
Speaker 1: getting back together, bad news. Cut it off now. Yeah,
Speaker 1: this sounds like something that I would say, like five
Speaker 1: years ago, when I was like twenty four. You know,
Speaker 1: I'm sure that they're probably around that same age change
Speaker 1: as well, But it sounds like something that the guy
Speaker 1: is saying because maybe he does have feelings for her.
Speaker 1: But uh, like, look, he's got every chance to be
Speaker 1: in a relationship with you now, and he's not taking
Speaker 1: that chance. So I think he's kind of just being lazy.
Speaker 1: And he knows that you're comfortable, you know, as you're familiar.
Speaker 1: He kind of knows what you like, what you don't like,
Speaker 1: and so he's just basically biding his time by hooking
Speaker 1: up with you, hanging out with you without committing fully
Speaker 1: to a relationship. That's my two cents. I don't doubt
Speaker 1: that this guy probably has feelings for her too, But
Speaker 1: there's a difference between having feelings for someone and being
Speaker 1: willing to commit to someone, and so I like, if
Speaker 1: you're looking if this email is looking for a committed
Speaker 1: relationship with this with this guy that she's friends with,
Speaker 1: I go someplace else. That's that's my advice. Yeah, I agree. Um,
Speaker 1: all right, we have one more emailer from anonymous. Not
Speaker 1: many emails today, so email us I secre dating at
Speaker 1: i heeart media dot com. This emailer says, Jared, this
Speaker 1: question is directed directly at you. I am dating a boy.
Speaker 1: I think he's so great, but I also know that
Speaker 1: he wants to hook up with my best friend. I've
Speaker 1: hooked up with my best friend in the past in college.
Speaker 1: We all have those days in parentheses, um, and and
Speaker 1: we're experimenting. But my boyfriend now wants to hook up
Speaker 1: with her as well, and he wants me to be included.
Speaker 1: Do you think I should let him do it? Or
Speaker 1: do you think I should nix it even though I've
Speaker 1: already hooked up with both of them? Just so you
Speaker 1: guys know, they've never hooked up with each other. A
Speaker 1: ka were twenty six My Boyfriend's seven I Love You
Speaker 1: Guys podcast listen every week five stars on iTunes. Suck
Speaker 1: Army Suck suck suck. That's from Anonymous. Well, thank you
Speaker 1: Anonymous for listening to the podcast, and thank you for
Speaker 1: the five star review. If anybody's listening out there and
Speaker 1: wants to give us a five star review, we would
Speaker 1: obviously love to take it. But seriously, thank you everybody
Speaker 1: listening to this podcast right now, because of course without
Speaker 1: you guys, there is no podcast, and then Dean and
Speaker 1: I are are probably living, uh in a van intervention
Speaker 1: doing that, but now I'd be living in a van. Um.
Speaker 1: Hold on, I'm confused. Is this guy asking for her
Speaker 1: to be in a throutle know, from the sound of it,
Speaker 1: it sounds like he just wants to have like, you know,
Speaker 1: a little a little a little fun, a little manage. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I mean again, depends on your comfort level. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I feel like anytime you introduce a third person into
Speaker 1: a relationship, uh, it causes issues. But I mean, people
Speaker 1: are in throttles and they're very happy, so who am
Speaker 1: I to judge? But I feel like, more often than not,
Speaker 1: if you're not looking to be in a committed relationship
Speaker 1: and you're just introducing a third person into like a
Speaker 1: sexual experiment, I don't know, maybe I'm wrong, but I
Speaker 1: feel like that introduces a lot of insecurities and jealousy.
Speaker 1: But again, it's entirely up to you. It's your that's
Speaker 1: how comfortable you feel, you know, listen, it's as long
Speaker 1: as you guys are being safe and honest. Um. You know,
Speaker 1: if you want to experiment and try something new and
Speaker 1: you're both comfortable with it, and everybody involved is comfortable
Speaker 1: and and you know you guys are all on the
Speaker 1: same page and have the same expectations, I would just
Speaker 1: advise communicating with one another thing go or sure? Why not?
Speaker 1: I'm curious why this person directed this question towards you.
Speaker 1: Maybe maybe they want you to be part of their throuble.
Speaker 1: I mean, that could be fun, but unfore, you know,
Speaker 1: not unfortunately, But I'm I also bring Ashley into the equation,
Speaker 1: so it would be a a four of a fourth
Speaker 1: four pal a quadruple. A quadruple would would actually ever
Speaker 1: be interested in doing something like that. It's hard for
Speaker 1: me to imagine the scenario where that'd be okay to do. No, No,
Speaker 1: she would not be down for that. Yeah, I don't think.
Speaker 1: I don't think they wan will be very down for
Speaker 1: it either. Um. I agree with everything you said. It's
Speaker 1: funny because I've had friends, uh, both guys and girls
Speaker 1: on both sides, that have been in relationships with people
Speaker 1: that have introduced a third person for you know, the
Speaker 1: quote unquote fun parts and then also been the third
Speaker 1: person that gets introduced to the couples. Uh. And it's
Speaker 1: funny because I've heard these stories, but they are all
Speaker 1: old stories. Do you know their stories from when they
Speaker 1: were like in their mid to late twenties and they
Speaker 1: were just feeling experimental or whatever. Um. And I've been
Speaker 1: hard pressed to hear a story, like a recent story
Speaker 1: of any of my friends doing this. Did they like
Speaker 1: one being one part of the equation over the other.
Speaker 1: Did they say they enjoyed being in the relationship more
Speaker 1: or they enjoy being like the individual that entered the relationship?
Speaker 1: You want know what's funny is I've never really heard
Speaker 1: of anyone thoroughly enjoying either of them. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: all right, um And so yeah, I think I agree
Speaker 1: with what you're saying is communication is important. But also
Speaker 1: it's like, I don't think you should necessarily give into
Speaker 1: your urges for you know, an hour of something that
Speaker 1: you might know like not be happy about days weeks,
Speaker 1: months years later. You know that that's something that could
Speaker 1: drive a ledge potentially through a relationship. And it always
Speaker 1: makes me think of that that Entourage episode where he
Speaker 1: is dating Sloan and then Sloan's like hot friend comes
Speaker 1: and she wants to do that, and Sloan like has
Speaker 1: her rule. She's like, yeah, okay, we can do this,
Speaker 1: but you like you can't have sex with her, uh
Speaker 1: and whatever else, and then like he gets like fixated
Speaker 1: on this other girl uh, and he gets like obsessed
Speaker 1: with her and he wants to cheat on his girlfriend
Speaker 1: just to hook up with her just them too, and
Speaker 1: then it creates this divide and then she leaves and
Speaker 1: and all that stuff. But but yeah, I guess more
Speaker 1: of that story is it doesn't really seem like much
Speaker 1: good can come from thruple circumstances. Yeah, I don't know. Again,
Speaker 1: I it's just not I don't know, it's not something
Speaker 1: I could do. But again, to each of their own.
Speaker 1: You know, there's a lot of things that I can't
Speaker 1: do in this world, including probably skydiving. That's something you
Speaker 1: can do. So yeah, yeah, I'm doing that tomorrow. Actually, Um,
Speaker 1: it's funny too because I think about uh, I try
Speaker 1: to put myself in Kaylin's shoes, and it's like, Okay,
Speaker 1: let's say we bring in another girl. And I was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I guess that would be okay if Caitlin was into it.
Speaker 1: But then I'm like, well, what if we brought in
Speaker 1: another guy? I'd like, well, I wouldn't be okay with that,
Speaker 1: And so it's like, how how could I be How
Speaker 1: could I ever expect Klin to be a he was
Speaker 1: something that I wouldn't be okay with if I was here,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Totally, It's it's unfair. But
Speaker 1: I'm wondering if you if you begged the question to Klin,
Speaker 1: I'm curious what her answer would be if you said, Kalin,
Speaker 1: would you rather bring in a guy? That you have
Speaker 1: to choose one? You have to either bring in a
Speaker 1: girl into this relationship or a guy into this relationship,
Speaker 1: which one you're choosing? For some reason, I feel like
Speaker 1: Caylin would choose a girl because I feel like that's
Speaker 1: what Ashley would choose to. Yeah, I think that that's
Speaker 1: very true as well. I wonder why that is. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I was just about to say that same thing. I
Speaker 1: think that there's just like a weird stigma, a weirder
Speaker 1: stigma about guy on guy versus girl on girl. You know,
Speaker 1: girl and girl I think is more widely acceptable even
Speaker 1: today than guy on guy. Uh. And that just is
Speaker 1: something that I think is ever changing and evolving, and
Speaker 1: even today is better than it was years ago. But
Speaker 1: I think that there's still a lot to overcome for
Speaker 1: that guy on guy stigma too, because I was actually
Speaker 1: I had this conversation, um at this point. It was
Speaker 1: probably a while ago, but for some reason I could
Speaker 1: remember pretty freshly. It was like, let's say you start
Speaker 1: dating someone new, uh in your case, in my case
Speaker 1: would be we're dating a girl because we're heterosexual men,
Speaker 1: and you you come to find out that this girl
Speaker 1: at some point in college had you know, hooked up
Speaker 1: with a girlfriend of theirs. You know, you kind of
Speaker 1: you hear that story and you're like, oh, that's that's interesting,
Speaker 1: that's cool, Like that's you know, a fun experimental thing
Speaker 1: for you to do. So that's fun, that's funny. How
Speaker 1: you articulated that you that's fun, that's cool, that's fun,
Speaker 1: that's cool, that's awesome. Yeah, I'm not trying to be
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to be too brolly on the podcast here,
Speaker 1: I guess, but yes, you're right, that's basically what I
Speaker 1: would be saying in my head. Uh. But then it
Speaker 1: flipped that around. And I've had this conversation with girls
Speaker 1: before because while I know that I'm a heterosexual guy,
Speaker 1: I always make the argument that I'm never sure because
Speaker 1: I've never actually had a homosexual experience with another man.
Speaker 1: So that's like, how certain can I be because I've
Speaker 1: never actually done it? Uh. And I always get the
Speaker 1: response from them saying like, well, if I was getting
Speaker 1: a guy and I found out that he hooked up
Speaker 1: with another guy in college or wherever, whenever, I would
Speaker 1: immediately like sever that relationship and cut ties with it.
Speaker 1: And I feel like whenever you you hear a girl
Speaker 1: talk about a guy with a uh, you know, a
Speaker 1: gay or by passed, it's always negatively. But whenever you
Speaker 1: hear a girl talk about a gay or by pass
Speaker 1: it's always kind of looked that positively. Yeah, that is interesting.
Speaker 1: There has to be studies. We should actually do our
Speaker 1: research before next we can find out why that is,
Speaker 1: because that is an interesting topic. Why is it more
Speaker 1: socially acceptable when you find out you're a girl had
Speaker 1: hooked up with a girl in the past rather than
Speaker 1: a guy who hooked up with a guy in the past. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know. I don't know. I have
Speaker 1: no idea why I've I've thought about it many times.
Speaker 1: It's basically, it's it's constantly. I'm thinking about it right now.
Speaker 1: I thought about it last night. It's basically it's like
Speaker 1: tip for tat. You know, it's like, how is tip
Speaker 1: for tat anything but fair? That's basically as fair as
Speaker 1: it gets. But in this reality, it's, uh, it's looked
Speaker 1: at very different you from both sides. Yeah, I mean,
Speaker 1: I'm speaking from a heterosexual male perspective, so but like,
Speaker 1: I mean, I get why you'd want to hook up
Speaker 1: with a woman, so like for me, I guess. And
Speaker 1: again this is speaking from a straight males perspective. To
Speaker 1: take this with a grain of salt, but like, women
Speaker 1: are just so beautiful. I can see why women other
Speaker 1: women would be like I I want to, I want to,
Speaker 1: I want to, I want to kiss another woman because
Speaker 1: you want to try it because they're just stunning creatures.
Speaker 1: Where guys were like Harry and like sweaty and stinky,
Speaker 1: but you know, I'm only of those three things you
Speaker 1: just said. I'm only stinky. I'm actually not very hairy
Speaker 1: or sweaty. Ever, No, I'm Harry. I'm not that sweaty.
Speaker 1: I'm Harry. Though. Sometimes I've talked about this on the
Speaker 1: podcast before, something like my really good guy friends will
Speaker 1: like kiss each other sometimes, uh, like a lot of times,
Speaker 1: like on the lips, you know, just to be just
Speaker 1: to like show our affection for one another. I've seen
Speaker 1: Alex do that. Yeah, Alex Sean is like the type
Speaker 1: of guy who like grab you by the back ahead
Speaker 1: and yeah, and for some reason shove your tongue, his
Speaker 1: tongue down your mouth. Alex and I definitely kiss. Usually
Speaker 1: it doesn't involve tongue. It's mostly just a little pecks.
Speaker 1: But uh, there was this one time I was dating
Speaker 1: this girl. I think I've actually shared the story on
Speaker 1: this podcast before, But I was dating this girl, uh,
Speaker 1: and she was hanging out with me and Alex and
Speaker 1: we're all at like this music festival, and so we
Speaker 1: were all like partying and having fun, uh and like
Speaker 1: laughing and whatever, and Alex and I like pecked each
Speaker 1: other and she looked at me and looked at him
Speaker 1: and looks back at me, and it was like very
Speaker 1: very disgusted by it, and uh it kind of like
Speaker 1: drove a legend to our relationship as well. And I
Speaker 1: was like, well, he's like one of my best friends.
Speaker 1: I'm just kissing him, just showing him how much I
Speaker 1: appreciate him, you know what. It's like I'm making out
Speaker 1: with him and like running off with him or anything that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'd be like, listen, if you kissed one of your
Speaker 1: girls on all lips as a peck, it would be fine.
Speaker 1: I'd have no issues with it, exactly exactly. Uh So,
Speaker 1: I don't know, there's like this weird double standard in
Speaker 1: a weird way, but maybe one day we'll be able
Speaker 1: to all work past it. You know. That's what we're
Speaker 1: here for. That's why we do this podcast, get rid
Speaker 1: of those double standards. Baby, do you want know what's
Speaker 1: really funny actually is this might be t M I
Speaker 1: and you over sharing about my relationship. But I kissed
Speaker 1: one of my got good guy friends this past weekend. Uh.
Speaker 1: He and I were we played golf together a lot,
Speaker 1: and we're like, we're pretty good friends, and uh, maybe
Speaker 1: I shouldn't share the story. Because we're in the height
Speaker 1: of a pandemic and I shouldn't be kissing anyone that's
Speaker 1: not my girlfriend. But anyways, it was we were on
Speaker 1: double datos him and his girlfriend and me and Kaylin,
Speaker 1: of course, and we're like out and uh like he
Speaker 1: kissed me for some reason on the lips, and Calen
Speaker 1: looked over and saw it happened, and she like started
Speaker 1: laughing her ass off, and she was like, that was
Speaker 1: like the cutest thing I've ever seen. And she was
Speaker 1: like fully embracing and accepting of me kissing my guy friend.
Speaker 1: I was like, Oh, that's really great of you too
Speaker 1: to be so on on board with that. That's how
Speaker 1: you know you found the one man. You know, see
Speaker 1: your your past ex girlfriends where it didn't work out.
Speaker 1: She wasn't the one. She she was judgmental towards you
Speaker 1: when you kissed your guy friends on the lips. And
Speaker 1: then here we go, fast forward. You're with Klin, you
Speaker 1: kiss one of your guy friends on the lips, and
Speaker 1: she thinks it's the cutest, most adorable out in the world.
Speaker 1: You have found the one. My friend Caitlyn wants me
Speaker 1: kissing my guy friends. Isn't that isn't that the cutest
Speaker 1: thing ever? That's just quite adorable. I mean, I guess
Speaker 1: my dog, so it's not the same. But you know,
Speaker 1: she's Harry like a guy. Yeah, I mean I guess
Speaker 1: Pappy all the time too. He's a Harry guy too. Happy.
Speaker 1: How is Pappy without his teeth? Oh? Man, he's great,
Speaker 1: he's happy. Actually, we were out at the beach the
Speaker 1: other day and we were gone from the house for
Speaker 1: like five hours, and we got back and there was
Speaker 1: poop in the bathroom, p in the living room, p
Speaker 1: on the bed. So this dog literally jumped off the bed,
Speaker 1: pooped in the bathroom, jumped back on the bed to pee,
Speaker 1: and then jumped off the bed again just to like,
Speaker 1: we think that since he's so used to having us
Speaker 1: around seven since we were gone for like five hours.
Speaker 1: He was like, where the hell is everyone? I'm gonna
Speaker 1: I'm gonna make them never do this again. What the
Speaker 1: hell is going on? This is ridiculous. It's been thirty minutes.
Speaker 1: I'm pissing it all over this place. Yeah, so he's
Speaker 1: he's great, but that was not that was not a
Speaker 1: cool moment. All right, Well, it's gonna do it for
Speaker 1: this week's episode of Help by Second Dating. Um, Jared,
Speaker 1: is there anything us that you want to add before
Speaker 1: we get out of here? I mean, I can talk
Speaker 1: about our dogs all day long. But you know, Pappy
Speaker 1: is just awesome. I saw I saw the picture of
Speaker 1: like him and like a baby. What are those things
Speaker 1: called that Calin was carrying him around in? Uh, he's
Speaker 1: got like a dog backpack. Yeah, he's like a dog backpack. Anyway,
Speaker 1: let's let's talk about next week. Let's just talk about
Speaker 1: our dogs all week. It's talk about dogs all week.
Speaker 1: Weird ones of pandemics over, like he said, because Pappy
Speaker 1: so used to being around you guys seven and you
Speaker 1: just left them alone for a few hours and then
Speaker 1: he was like not to This is not how it works.
Speaker 1: You're supposed to be home all the time. Full on
Speaker 1: rebellmade it was absolutely insane. It was like walking into
Speaker 1: like a murder scene. Oh Pappy, you know, when you
Speaker 1: gotta go, you gotta go. And Pappy's an old man,
Speaker 1: so he probably can't hold it as well as they
Speaker 1: used to. Poor guy. That's fair. Um, all right, well,
Speaker 1: big thank you to the Fergi Twins. Be sure to
Speaker 1: check in on the podcast What a Girl Wants on Thursday.
Speaker 1: It's gonna be I don't know if it's gonna say
Speaker 1: help I Suck at dating, what a Girl Wants or
Speaker 1: what a Girl Wants, But we'll see on Thursdays when
Speaker 1: it comes out with Emily and Haley Ferguson on the
Speaker 1: iHeart Radio app or wherever you get your podcasts checked
Speaker 1: so you can go straight to the help us Dating
Speaker 1: Yeah podcast feed, and you will see on Thursday What
Speaker 1: a Girl Wants. A girl Okay makes you happy? Said,
Speaker 1: it's me little going on, yeah, uh yeah, be sure
Speaker 1: to check them out. They're gonna be great. I'm excited
Speaker 1: to listen to everything they have to say as well.
Speaker 1: It's just the girls, no guys. So that's like the
Speaker 1: that's the what a Girl Wants segment that we're going
Speaker 1: to try and do for the next few weeks and see,
Speaker 1: you know, see just how enlightening it really is. And
Speaker 1: and we're expecting big things. So also we like, like
Speaker 1: we mentioned earlier, we have a live show coming up
Speaker 1: on the eighteenth of August. It's a couple's Day. Uh So,
Speaker 1: if you're single and you need some people to hang
Speaker 1: out with, Jared and I got you tickets or ten dollars,
Speaker 1: but if you spend twenty five you get a free
Speaker 1: beanie uh suck army beanie with the ticket purchase. Head
Speaker 1: over to high said dot ticks or dot com. That's
Speaker 1: h I S A D dot t I x R
Speaker 1: dot com and big thank you to Chelsea Peretti. Be
Speaker 1: sure to check out her movie Spinster on v O,
Speaker 1: D E and digital streaming platforms. Thank you guys for
Speaker 1: tuning into this week's episode. Be sure to tune in
Speaker 1: next week where maybe we will suck just a little
Speaker 1: bit less. Follow help by suck at Dating on I
Speaker 1: Heart Radio or wherever you listen to podcast