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Speaker 1: I thought that was my whole body to day. Yes,

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Speaker 1: welcome back to the best podcast ever with.

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Speaker 2: Raven and Miranda.

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Speaker 1: That's right, we.

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Speaker 3: Are back in effect, kick in a laugh.

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Speaker 1: What's your go to Chinese food order?

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Speaker 3: Oh? I haven't had Chinese food so long because of

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Speaker 3: all of the extra ingredients they put in it. But

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Speaker 3: if I was to order right now, it would be

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Speaker 3: walnut shrimp, crab fried rice, and a crab ragoon with

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Speaker 3: a side of Tai ti because sometimes they like to

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Speaker 3: serve titia at Chinese restaurants.

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Speaker 2: What's yours? What's a crab ragoon?

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Speaker 3: A crab ragoon is a fried wantan filled with cream

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Speaker 3: and crab.

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Speaker 2: Never heard it bout it?

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Speaker 3: You've Oh you never had a crab ragoon? You dip

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Speaker 3: it in the sweet and sour sauce first of all,

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Speaker 3: cheap version. I'm glad you don't have them either.

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Speaker 2: I don't have them, and I don't like them.

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Speaker 3: It's okay, they don't. Probably don't like you either.

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Speaker 2: Actually had an STD? No, never had an STD? Have you?

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Speaker 4: No? Good for you?

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Speaker 2: Good for you?

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Speaker 3: Thank you?

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Speaker 2: I were married that part.

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Speaker 1: It's really important you have an STD. It's very common

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Speaker 1: and it's normal and it's okay.

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Speaker 3: Too, yeah, just saying, just saying that and go get checked.

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Speaker 3: I didn't know that when you go to your healthcare

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Speaker 3: professional for that area, especially for a female, you have

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Speaker 3: to ask to be checked for sexually transmitted diseases. It

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Speaker 3: doesn't just come with the PAP smear like you actually

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Speaker 3: have to ask for it to be in your labs.

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Speaker 3: I thought it came naturally. That's just some shit you

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Speaker 3: should just check in general. Didn't we have problems with

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Speaker 3: that In England a million years ago everybody was getting

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Speaker 3: chlamydia some shit like that.

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Speaker 2: Oh, I don't know, who knows.

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Speaker 3: Human sometimes are just a big bowl of germs spreading

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Speaker 3: to the next human.

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Speaker 2: Anyway, So who non taste? If you know, you know

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Speaker 2: that was my shit.

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Speaker 1: I have no idea place in La so good on Peko.

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Speaker 2: It was like my childhood Chinese spot.

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Speaker 1: I used to get bean curd tofu in a brown sauce.

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Speaker 1: I love what you called it, bean curd, that's what

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Speaker 1: they called it, bean curd with broccoli.

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Speaker 2: So good.

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Speaker 1: And I also was obsessed with the mushoe chicken.

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Speaker 3: Mushoe chicken like in the Mulan. Yeah yummy, Yeah, who

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Speaker 3: is that girl lassies me eating mushoe.

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Speaker 2: I was obsessed with it because it was like a pancake. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: They had plum sauce and hoist and sauce and it

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Speaker 1: was divine.

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Speaker 3: That sounds like the most amazing Chinese food meal, and

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Speaker 3: I kind of missed Chinese food, like I missed the

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Speaker 3: nostalgia of bringing it to the house, the sweats after

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Speaker 3: the television show, watch after it was just like comfort

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Speaker 3: food for me.

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Speaker 1: Well, you know you referenced Mulan, yeah a few seconds ago,

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Speaker 1: which got me thinking because I think that Christina Aguilera.

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Speaker 2: Was the voice.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, no, no, no, she was on the soundtrack. She wasn't

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Speaker 3: the voice of Mulan. She sang the song. No no,

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Speaker 3: she's saying she's sang it not you rude.

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Speaker 1: But I'm gonna say this, there is literally one other person,

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Speaker 1: I think, on this planet who has the voice that

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Speaker 1: can hit me in the way that Christina's does.

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Speaker 3: Let me tell you about my wife. She is a

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Speaker 3: fucking mastermind.

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Speaker 2: I'm just gonna say it's really true.

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Speaker 1: It's like Christina has that thing, and there's really one

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Speaker 1: other person that comes to mind instantly. I'm sure if

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Speaker 1: I sat here longer and talked about it.

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Speaker 3: I have to be honest, I think there's a group

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Speaker 3: of women that have that strong voice, and the person

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Speaker 3: that you're talking about sits in that group of women.

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Speaker 3: I mean Shaka Khan, you know, and then you have

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Speaker 3: people in that in today's.

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Speaker 1: World as well.

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Speaker 3: But like this person that is coming on the show

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Speaker 3: today has one of the strongest voices of our generation.

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Speaker 1: Without a doubt, and started well, not started, but it

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Speaker 1: also was under the Disney umbrella.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, under the Disney umbrella. Started, actually started under a

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Speaker 3: purple umbrella. Do you know what I'm talking about? Oh?

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Speaker 1: And even before that started under like a hair spray

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Speaker 1: umbrella because pageants.

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Speaker 3: Oh that's right, there was a hairspray umbrella. Interesting. She

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Speaker 3: is one of the most chameleon artists of our time.

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Speaker 3: She always keeps her fans on their toes with information.

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Speaker 3: She loves keeping it real, keeping it honest.

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Speaker 1: And honestly and getting to know her more. I'm like

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Speaker 1: so kind, so kind, so sweet, so sweet, so down

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Speaker 1: for the cause, like clearly wants to have great conversations,

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Speaker 1: make an impact, has been out in the public and

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Speaker 1: willing to kind of share her truth, bear her soul,

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Speaker 1: make mistakes, and then learn from them.

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Speaker 3: She's growing, She's growing up in front of her eyes

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Speaker 3: and not apologizing for it, like she's so sorry, not sorry.

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Speaker 1: I mean, And if that wasn't the biggest fucking tell you, guys,

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Speaker 1: put your hands together for.

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Speaker 2: Demi lov Yeah, clap in your car, do it?

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Speaker 1: Demn the girl?

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Speaker 4: All right, let's do this, babes.

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Speaker 2: Timmy Levada is here.

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Speaker 3: Do you have anything that you've always wanted to ask her?

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Speaker 1: She's just putting me on the spot in such a

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Speaker 1: weird way. No, I actually have really enjoyed getting to

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Speaker 1: know you and have conversation with you, and I think

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Speaker 1: you're incredibly This is not a question, but this is

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Speaker 1: just a comment. I think you're incredibly smart and interesting

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Speaker 1: and kind, and I'm I like it, and I'm excited

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Speaker 1: for our future hangs and like I want to, I

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Speaker 1: want our painting date to happen. That's right, we're.

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Speaker 3: Supposed to be having a painting date.

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Speaker 4: Well, first of all, thank you, that's really really sweet.

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Speaker 4: And then second of all, I actually just got a

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Speaker 4: mister you know, the mister you were using. I bought

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Speaker 4: it on Amazon so I can end watercolor paints. I

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Speaker 4: went to Michael's and I got watercolors, so I'm gonna

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Speaker 4: start painting.

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Speaker 2: Stop it, demmy, stop it.

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Speaker 3: First of all, I'm mad at you because you should

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Speaker 3: have called me out, have told you that you needed

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Speaker 3: a single pigment watercolor anyway, what'd you buy?

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Speaker 4: I don't know. I bought like a little you know,

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Speaker 4: tray that you put the paints on. Haltlett. Okay, I

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Speaker 4: got that. I got some canvases, and then I got

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Speaker 4: just a box of watercolor pants.

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Speaker 1: So I love you to death.

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Speaker 3: You have to make sure you get watercolor paper because

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Speaker 3: watercolor doesn't stick to canvas. It does, but it takes

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Speaker 3: a little bit of a ground. So you should have

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Speaker 3: waited on me, bestie.

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Speaker 2: So here's the deal.

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Speaker 3: I'm gonna send you a watercolor palette. I'm gonna send

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Speaker 3: you a link to the right watercolor paper that you

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Speaker 3: can try out. I'm so happy for you. Watercolor is

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Speaker 3: something that I do you morning, noon and night, and

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Speaker 3: I can't wait to help you if you let me.

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Speaker 2: I think we should have a class.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, that would be so fun.

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Speaker 2: I think we have a class.

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Speaker 1: Top I raven And this is what I was saying

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Speaker 1: to her. I was like, really, we should do it,

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Speaker 1: because I think it's an interesting It's like there's so

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Speaker 1: many things that can happen in that it's a therapeutic moment,

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Speaker 1: but you're also like having to think because there's an

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Speaker 1: education behind it.

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Speaker 3: Right.

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Speaker 1: You can have like the free form and just go

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Speaker 1: for it, but there's also technique and structure that you

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Speaker 1: can implement if you want to. So I think it

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Speaker 1: would be I think it would just be fun.

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Speaker 2: For all of us.

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Speaker 3: You really spark up when you talk about painting. What

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Speaker 3: do you like about it?

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Speaker 4: You know, when we painted the other day, it just like,

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Speaker 4: really it taught me that I don't my perfectionism went

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Speaker 4: out the window. Perfectionism is something that controls so much

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Speaker 4: of my life, you know, when it comes to body image,

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Speaker 4: when it comes to my craft and my work, and

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Speaker 4: so to be able to throw that out the window

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Speaker 4: and say I'm just gonna enjoy whatever comes of this,

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Speaker 4: that was so freeing and I want and I'm chasing

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Speaker 4: that feeling. I want to get that feeling again.

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Speaker 1: Do you have other things in your life that you

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Speaker 1: do to relieve stress or feel that way or has

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Speaker 1: painting really been like the first experience.

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Speaker 4: Working out for me is something that relieves stress and

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Speaker 4: really helps with anxiety. I also do jiu jitsu hell ya,

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Speaker 4: So that is something that I love to do and

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Speaker 4: is really freeing for me. I also, you know, meditation.

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Speaker 4: I don't do it enough, but when I do, it

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Speaker 4: helps with anxiety and relieve stress. And then of course

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Speaker 4: just playing music.

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Speaker 3: But let's get back to the jiu jitsu, because it's

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Speaker 3: just not okay, this is jiu jitsu. I don't know

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Speaker 3: what the fuck that is, so can you.

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Speaker 1: I think it means more than anything that you could

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Speaker 1: kick the.

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Speaker 2: Shit out of us.

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Speaker 1: Yeah for sure.

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Speaker 2: Is this a true or false statement?

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Speaker 4: Probably? Yeah? Cool? Yeah, I just wanted to start there.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, let's start. Let's start a kicking our ass. Now,

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Speaker 3: just tell me a little bit about it and how

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Speaker 3: you got into it.

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Speaker 4: Well, do you ever watch or have you ever seen

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Speaker 4: a UFC fight?

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Speaker 1: Hell yeah?

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Speaker 4: So you know when they're on the ground and they're grappling, yes,

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Speaker 4: that's a jiu jitsu. And also there's you know, there's

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Speaker 4: a little bit of wrestling in it. There's the takedowns

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Speaker 4: that you can do, but it's it's really the it's

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Speaker 4: not the punching and the kicking, it's really the rest

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Speaker 4: of the fighting that they do. And I got into

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Speaker 4: it because I went to this gym where a lot

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Speaker 4: of actually a lot of MMA and UFC fighters were

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Speaker 4: training at and I started doing kickboxing and then like

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Speaker 4: a little bit of muay Thai. And then while I

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Speaker 4: was training my my trainer, there was like, you should

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Speaker 4: really get into jiu jitsu. I think you would love it.

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Speaker 4: And I tried it and I fell in love with it,

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Speaker 4: and so it's been off to the races ever since.

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Speaker 3: But like, who's your I don't know if you called

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Speaker 3: your sparring because you're wrestling with like in boxing, Like

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Speaker 3: who's your sparring partner? Is it your trainer? You got

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Speaker 3: other like girls you be pinning down and be like bitch,

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Speaker 3: I'm dimmy bitch, Like what do you do? Like who

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Speaker 3: do you fight?

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Speaker 4: It's my trainer? I do like privates And so that's

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Speaker 4: another way that you can accelerate faster, is you know,

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Speaker 4: training with a trainer or an instructor and is the

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Speaker 4: proper term. And so I have been just working with

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Speaker 4: him and and it's been fun.

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Speaker 3: Well, if you ever need a sparring partner, Miranda's available

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Speaker 3: for you.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, no, I'm not I'll play you my

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Speaker 1: experience with anything in that world, which is I saw

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Speaker 1: the movie enough. Do you guys remember of course we

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Speaker 1: all saw j Loo and she trained in Krav magaw

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Speaker 1: for that movie. And after seeing that movie, I was like,

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Speaker 1: oh my god, I have to be like j Loo,

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Speaker 1: And so I started going to a Krav magag gym

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Speaker 1: and I needed a partner, so I made my mom

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Speaker 1: come as well. And if you, Debbie, you don't know

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Speaker 1: my mom, but Craven obviously does.

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Speaker 3: And it's incorrect.

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Speaker 4: This is immediately stop.

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Speaker 3: Do not invite her mom to a She's.

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Speaker 1: The type of person who like is like, oh my gosh,

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Speaker 1: So it's like trying to get her to hit anything

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Speaker 1: or be kind of like in that mentality.

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Speaker 2: Just so not it was incorrect.

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Speaker 1: But I thought Krav Magod was really cool, and I

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Speaker 1: did it for like two times, or I like went

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Speaker 1: to two classes and then was over it. But I

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Speaker 1: do have a real respect for martial arts in general,

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Speaker 1: and the amount of kind of like detail and in

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Speaker 1: discipline discipline that martial arts requires.

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Speaker 2: Is something else.

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Speaker 1: It's a real like mind body spirit connection.

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Speaker 3: And I feel like that mirror is kind of what

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Speaker 3: you do in your career, Like what you have made

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Speaker 3: your career into requires discipline, and so I like the

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Speaker 3: fact that you found that mirror of a sport to

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Speaker 3: do that with. I mean, has there ever been a

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Speaker 3: moment and not like the typical like I don't want

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Speaker 3: to do this anymore, but literally you've like set down,

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Speaker 3: be like I'm so fucking tired. I just need to

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Speaker 3: stop for a second because the discipline is too much

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Speaker 3: to uphold.

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Speaker 4: Yeah. I mean There's been a lot of times in

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Speaker 4: my career where I've kind of taken a step back

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Speaker 4: and said I need a break. Whether it's when you're

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Speaker 4: on the road and you start to get burnt out

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Speaker 4: because touring is really hard, or you're just working a lot.

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Speaker 4: You know, There's been a lot of times in my

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Speaker 4: career where I've said I need to take a second

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Speaker 4: and slow things down a little bit. And I have

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Speaker 4: and I've slowed things down and I've taken breaks. But yeah,

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Speaker 4: that's pretty much.

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Speaker 3: I took a break for three years demmy, I said

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Speaker 3: fuck this, I'm retiring. It was one of the best

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Speaker 3: things I ever did, and then I started to go

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Speaker 3: to art school. So if you did take a break,

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Speaker 3: what would you do in that time, Like, what do

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Speaker 3: you think that career would be for Dimmie the Botto

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Speaker 3: if he wasn't a songwriter singer.

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Speaker 4: You know what's funny is I was thinking about this

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Speaker 4: the other day. I was like, I wish I could

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Speaker 4: take a week off just to see friends.

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Speaker 3: Oh and fill.

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Speaker 4: Up my schedule just with social activities, because there's so

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Speaker 4: much of my time that's filled right now. It's just

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Speaker 4: jam packed and I don't have time to see a

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Speaker 4: bunch of friends. But so I was thinking, I wish

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Speaker 4: I could take a week off just to see friends.

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Speaker 4: And I think if I took eight years off, I

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Speaker 4: would probably I would maybe want to go to maybe

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Speaker 4: film school. That's something that really piques my interest. I

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Speaker 4: would also, I mean art school would be dope too,

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Speaker 4: because I have this new found love for painting. Nothing

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Speaker 4: about But I would also I would focus on jiu jitsu.

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Speaker 4: I would focus on just spending time with the people

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Speaker 4: I love and really just do that, do whatever makes

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Speaker 4: me happy. I love being out in the sun, but

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Speaker 4: laying out by the pool, like, so I'd spend a

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Speaker 4: lot of time at the beach.

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Speaker 3: Probably love that My wife thinks that the sun is

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Speaker 3: personally out to get her. Oh no, yeah, she doesn't.

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Speaker 3: She curses the sun on.

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Speaker 2: A daily basis.

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Speaker 1: I'm very fair, and I don't enjoy the sun.

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Speaker 3: That's true.

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Speaker 2: I am not.

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Speaker 1: And it's weird because I'm a Leo and I think

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Speaker 1: that people always think like, oh, if you're an August

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Speaker 1: or a summer baby or a Leo in particular, like

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Speaker 1: you have to love the sun, and I just don't

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Speaker 1: love it at all. Like, but I also don't love

305
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Speaker 1: freezing temperatures or anything.

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Speaker 2: But I just like don't want to be in the sun.

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Speaker 4: My boyfriend is very fair, and so he kind of

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Speaker 4: feels the same way. And I'm always like, let's a

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Speaker 4: layout by have a pool day, and he's like, but

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Speaker 4: I'm gonna get some burned.

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Speaker 2: That's how I feel.

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Speaker 1: And I'm I'm all for it, Like I want a

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Speaker 1: pool day, Like I'm totally down to come to your

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Speaker 1: house and have a pool day with you. DEMI yes,

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Speaker 1: like one hundred percent there, But I just.

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Speaker 2: Want to be in the shade. My friend can just

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Speaker 2: like chill in the shade of the capana.

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Speaker 1: I want a fan.

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Speaker 3: I don't know how I feel about that. I mean,

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Speaker 3: keep him on a leash, real tight because my wife

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Speaker 3: over here saying I wanted to share with your boyfriend.

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Speaker 1: I don't like it, and just chill with what I want, saying,

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Speaker 1: you guys can be in the sun and we're going

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Speaker 1: to be over here in the shade.

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Speaker 3: Where did you meet your boyfriend?

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Speaker 4: We met in the studio stop We actually we had

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Speaker 4: a songwriting setsion and he walked in and I was

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Speaker 4: just smitten immediately. But we didn't tell each other how

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Speaker 4: we felt for one another for a couple months, and

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Speaker 4: we built that foundation of a friendship, and I think

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Speaker 4: that's really important when you get into a relationship with someone.

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Speaker 4: Even though we didn't like we weren't thinking about a relationship.

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Speaker 4: We just became friends. Because after the studio we wrote

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Speaker 4: actually one of my singles. We worked really well together

335
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Speaker 4: in the studio songwriting, and leaving that session, I was like,

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Speaker 4: I want to know him, Like obviously I'm attracted to

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Speaker 4: but I want to know him, like even if I

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Speaker 4: can just be his friend, Like I just want to

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Speaker 4: be his friend because he's so special and that energy

340
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Speaker 4: was so magnetic.

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Speaker 3: What's one of the things that he holds as a

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Speaker 3: virtue or a characteristic that really makes you smile?

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Speaker 4: Oh my god, my face, honeyasy that face she just

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Speaker 4: now you know what, something that I really appreciate about

345
00:17:12,840 --> 00:17:18,159
Speaker 4: him is his loyalty, Like he's so loyal and trustworthy,

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Speaker 4: and that's something that you don't really find a lot

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Speaker 4: of when you're in our positions, and you know, we

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Speaker 4: we are constantly trying to assess out who we can

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Speaker 4: trust and who we can't. And I think it was

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Speaker 4: so comforting with him to know that I could trust him,

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Speaker 4: and and it just yeah, I mean, and he makes

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Speaker 4: me laugh. He makes me laugh so much. We're just

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00:17:42,720 --> 00:17:45,640
Speaker 4: constantly laughing together. And I think that's really important too,

354
00:17:46,080 --> 00:17:46,800
Speaker 4: so important.

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Speaker 1: Do you find have you found that it's like difficult

356
00:17:51,520 --> 00:17:56,399
Speaker 1: to create balance between like working with your partner. Raven

357
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Speaker 1: and I get asked that question all the time because

358
00:17:58,280 --> 00:18:01,080
Speaker 1: we're obviously married, but we were together and people are like.

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Speaker 2: How do you do it?

360
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Speaker 1: And I don't know how often you too, have worked

361
00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:07,679
Speaker 1: together since you started dating, But do you are you

362
00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:10,200
Speaker 1: interested in leaning more into that? Do you have hesitations?

363
00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:12,480
Speaker 1: Have you already done that? I mean outside of the

364
00:18:13,280 --> 00:18:14,439
Speaker 1: writing that you've done together.

365
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Speaker 4: I love to work with him. I'd love to sing

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Speaker 4: with him, like I love his voice. He's such a

367
00:18:19,600 --> 00:18:23,760
Speaker 4: great singer, so he's a songwriter, but he's primarily an

368
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Speaker 4: artist by jutes And yeah, I would love to sing

369
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Speaker 4: with him. We've talked about it before, so we already

370
00:18:33,400 --> 00:18:36,640
Speaker 4: worked really well in the studio together. We make really

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Speaker 4: great songs that I'm really proud of.

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Speaker 2: Are you guys public?

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Speaker 4: Yeah? We're public.

374
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Speaker 3: Oh I'm late, I'm sorry. I'm like, who it is?

375
00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:44,760
Speaker 2: Who are you talking to?

376
00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:49,680
Speaker 4: I post him on my socials all the time? Got it?

377
00:18:49,800 --> 00:18:50,159
Speaker 4: Got it?

378
00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:53,280
Speaker 3: If you are not a watercolor video, I'm probably not watching,

379
00:18:54,119 --> 00:18:55,040
Speaker 3: So forgive me.

380
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Speaker 1: Tom.

381
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Speaker 2: Oh, I'm glad that's happened for you. Did he say

382
00:18:59,280 --> 00:19:02,800
Speaker 2: I love you first? Guys even said it.

383
00:19:03,440 --> 00:19:05,440
Speaker 1: They've totally said it. Look at those eyes. They've said

384
00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:06,080
Speaker 1: it and.

385
00:19:06,080 --> 00:19:10,600
Speaker 4: We've been together for over a year. I think it

386
00:19:10,640 --> 00:19:13,080
Speaker 4: was like a I think it may have been me.

387
00:19:13,280 --> 00:19:15,000
Speaker 4: I think I may have said it first. I think

388
00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:18,120
Speaker 4: I was like, I really like you and I'm in

389
00:19:18,280 --> 00:19:22,040
Speaker 4: like with you, and I was like, okay, I'm in

390
00:19:22,080 --> 00:19:22,600
Speaker 4: love with you.

391
00:19:23,880 --> 00:19:25,280
Speaker 2: That's so cute. I love that.

392
00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:26,280
Speaker 3: What does he smell like?

393
00:19:27,359 --> 00:19:30,320
Speaker 4: He smells so good. He wears this cologne. I don't remember.

394
00:19:30,440 --> 00:19:34,360
Speaker 4: It's like Marziella, but like, I don't remember the exact

395
00:19:35,320 --> 00:19:37,480
Speaker 4: But then when he's when he's not wearing cologne, he

396
00:19:37,640 --> 00:19:40,199
Speaker 4: just smells like home. I can't explain it, but he

397
00:19:40,240 --> 00:19:41,000
Speaker 4: smells like home.

398
00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:42,119
Speaker 1: What do you smell like?

399
00:19:43,680 --> 00:19:49,840
Speaker 4: I wear a vanilla Antique and by Rado.

400
00:19:50,359 --> 00:19:53,760
Speaker 1: Okay, I knew it. Okay the first time, you know,

401
00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:56,280
Speaker 1: and I give you a hug. I was like, first,

402
00:19:56,359 --> 00:19:58,760
Speaker 1: I got the vanilla right away, but then I was

403
00:19:58,760 --> 00:20:01,119
Speaker 1: trying to figure it out because I of smell and

404
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:04,280
Speaker 1: scent and it's very distinct, but it mixes with you

405
00:20:04,440 --> 00:20:08,640
Speaker 1: in a different way like I would. It's your vanillay,

406
00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:11,760
Speaker 1: but you're also there's a little bit of musk in there,

407
00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:12,960
Speaker 1: and it's very warm.

408
00:20:13,040 --> 00:20:15,399
Speaker 2: There's a little bit of spice. You have, You have

409
00:20:15,520 --> 00:20:17,720
Speaker 2: a yet you got she got a smell. She gotta smell.

410
00:20:17,720 --> 00:20:20,840
Speaker 3: And I think it's important that your partner compliments your

411
00:20:20,880 --> 00:20:25,399
Speaker 3: smell on the pheromones, lifestyle and and everything. I just

412
00:20:25,440 --> 00:20:29,199
Speaker 3: want to just change gears for two seconds, because you

413
00:20:30,880 --> 00:20:36,439
Speaker 3: have done some amazing work recently in revamping one of

414
00:20:36,480 --> 00:20:40,920
Speaker 3: your fucking smashes into a rock song sorry not sorry,

415
00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:46,120
Speaker 3: like a full on fucking bop, and you know, you're

416
00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:50,760
Speaker 3: doing a full revamped album of all of your bops. Like,

417
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:53,919
Speaker 3: I don't know anybody who's done that before. People normally

418
00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:56,479
Speaker 3: do it on tour, but the album this is like

419
00:20:56,560 --> 00:20:59,199
Speaker 3: you two type shit. How does it feel to be

420
00:20:59,280 --> 00:20:59,960
Speaker 3: in a category?

421
00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:02,240
Speaker 2: And what made you want to do this? Yeah?

422
00:21:02,280 --> 00:21:06,600
Speaker 4: Well, thank you, first of all. And second, I was

423
00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:10,920
Speaker 4: actually on tour last year and I released an album

424
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Speaker 4: called Holy Fuck, and all of the songs were rock,

425
00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:17,000
Speaker 4: and so when it came time to make my tour setlist,

426
00:21:17,280 --> 00:21:20,840
Speaker 4: I was like, how am I gonna fit Hard Attack,

427
00:21:21,520 --> 00:21:24,760
Speaker 4: Sorry Not Sorry, and Cool for the Summer into this

428
00:21:25,040 --> 00:21:31,080
Speaker 4: rock set. Yeah, we vamped the songs and so I

429
00:21:31,160 --> 00:21:33,639
Speaker 4: did that on the road, and then when I was

430
00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:36,040
Speaker 4: on the road, the fans reacted really strongly to it,

431
00:21:36,080 --> 00:21:38,800
Speaker 4: and I was like, I need to just release these.

432
00:21:38,960 --> 00:21:40,880
Speaker 4: I think it would be so sick to release these

433
00:21:40,920 --> 00:21:43,600
Speaker 4: as an album. So that's what I did, and that's

434
00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:44,160
Speaker 4: what I'm doing.

435
00:21:45,160 --> 00:21:48,239
Speaker 1: I love that for her. Cool for the Summer is

436
00:21:49,080 --> 00:21:51,879
Speaker 1: probably one of the most addictive songs in the world.

437
00:21:52,280 --> 00:21:54,960
Speaker 2: I literally it's so bizarre.

438
00:21:54,600 --> 00:21:56,520
Speaker 1: Like I will just be like walking around and I

439
00:21:56,640 --> 00:21:57,679
Speaker 1: like Cool for the Summer.

440
00:21:57,920 --> 00:21:58,800
Speaker 2: What I'm not.

441
00:21:59,160 --> 00:22:02,520
Speaker 3: It's just it's we Also, we also place that sentence

442
00:22:02,560 --> 00:22:07,399
Speaker 3: in inanimate objects that obviously don't talk, like or are dogs.

443
00:22:07,440 --> 00:22:09,240
Speaker 3: Like the dog that's like sprinting down the street.

444
00:22:09,240 --> 00:22:09,800
Speaker 2: He's like he's.

445
00:22:09,640 --> 00:22:11,440
Speaker 3: Obviously listening to cool for the summer in his head,

446
00:22:11,480 --> 00:22:12,119
Speaker 3: like like.

447
00:22:12,160 --> 00:22:13,320
Speaker 2: Oh, she's cool for the summer.

448
00:22:13,480 --> 00:22:15,399
Speaker 1: Like We're at Erewon the other day and I'm like,

449
00:22:15,680 --> 00:22:16,480
Speaker 1: do you want this drink?

450
00:22:16,520 --> 00:22:17,520
Speaker 2: It's cool for the summer.

451
00:22:17,760 --> 00:22:20,200
Speaker 3: Like it's so weird, how it just like it does

452
00:22:20,240 --> 00:22:23,240
Speaker 3: pop in in a very weird way, a very beautiful way, yeah,

453
00:22:23,280 --> 00:22:24,720
Speaker 3: but also kind of weird.

454
00:22:33,400 --> 00:22:36,720
Speaker 1: Here's the deal, dem You're on the best podcast ever

455
00:22:37,119 --> 00:22:39,720
Speaker 1: and we do this little thing on the podcast where

456
00:22:39,760 --> 00:22:42,560
Speaker 1: we spin a wheel. It's going to generate a random

457
00:22:42,600 --> 00:22:45,159
Speaker 1: word none of us know, and then we're gonna have

458
00:22:45,160 --> 00:22:47,040
Speaker 1: to talk about it. So are you down to spin?

459
00:22:48,040 --> 00:22:51,240
Speaker 4: I'm so ready.

460
00:22:55,359 --> 00:22:56,640
Speaker 1: And the wood is.

461
00:22:58,160 --> 00:22:58,960
Speaker 3: Boundaries.

462
00:22:59,600 --> 00:23:00,000
Speaker 2: Boundary.

463
00:23:00,920 --> 00:23:01,879
Speaker 4: I like this word.

464
00:23:02,200 --> 00:23:02,560
Speaker 2: Yeah?

465
00:23:02,640 --> 00:23:03,520
Speaker 3: I have none.

466
00:23:03,680 --> 00:23:07,560
Speaker 2: How many boundaries do so? Andrew Raven has so many boundaries.

467
00:23:07,640 --> 00:23:08,600
Speaker 3: I don't have that many.

468
00:23:09,800 --> 00:23:11,840
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, she has so many boundaries.

469
00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:14,919
Speaker 2: Anyway, it's not about you. Boundaries. What do we think

470
00:23:14,920 --> 00:23:15,400
Speaker 2: about them?

471
00:23:15,720 --> 00:23:19,920
Speaker 3: I mean, there's fences there, you know, do you feel.

472
00:23:19,720 --> 00:23:21,280
Speaker 2: Like you have healthy boundaries?

473
00:23:21,760 --> 00:23:21,840
Speaker 1: Me?

474
00:23:22,840 --> 00:23:24,840
Speaker 4: Yeah, I feel like I have healthy boundaries. I've had

475
00:23:24,840 --> 00:23:28,680
Speaker 4: to learn how to set boundaries and I still am

476
00:23:28,760 --> 00:23:32,760
Speaker 4: learning how to keep them. You know, sometimes I'm kind

477
00:23:32,800 --> 00:23:36,320
Speaker 4: of a people pleaser, and so I don't stand up

478
00:23:36,359 --> 00:23:42,040
Speaker 4: for myself twenty four to seven of like, say someone

479
00:23:42,119 --> 00:23:45,120
Speaker 4: makes a mistake on my team or something like that.

480
00:23:47,320 --> 00:23:50,439
Speaker 4: Sometimes it's hard for me to be the boss and

481
00:23:50,480 --> 00:23:54,320
Speaker 4: be like hey and put my foot down. Every time

482
00:23:54,359 --> 00:23:57,160
Speaker 4: I don't say something, or if someone does something that's

483
00:23:57,200 --> 00:24:00,879
Speaker 4: triggering to me, it's easier for me to push it

484
00:24:00,920 --> 00:24:04,560
Speaker 4: off to the side and say I'm fine, you know,

485
00:24:04,640 --> 00:24:08,520
Speaker 4: it didn't bother me that bad, when in reality, every

486
00:24:08,560 --> 00:24:11,560
Speaker 4: time I do that, it stifles my power a little bit.

487
00:24:11,720 --> 00:24:15,159
Speaker 4: And so setting boundaries is so important to empower yourself,

488
00:24:15,600 --> 00:24:17,200
Speaker 4: to be able to speak up for what you need

489
00:24:17,240 --> 00:24:19,240
Speaker 4: and what is bothering you.

490
00:24:19,920 --> 00:24:23,159
Speaker 3: But I feel like, as somebody in the industry, I

491
00:24:23,240 --> 00:24:25,679
Speaker 3: was taught not to have boundaries. I mean, how long

492
00:24:25,720 --> 00:24:28,400
Speaker 3: you've been famous, didn't you've been famous about thirty five years? Right?

493
00:24:28,920 --> 00:24:32,200
Speaker 4: Came out fifteen years ago just the other day, Okay, So.

494
00:24:32,240 --> 00:24:36,399
Speaker 3: Like for fifteen years, that invisible boundary of I'm a

495
00:24:36,400 --> 00:24:38,159
Speaker 3: celebrity you're not has been.

496
00:24:38,080 --> 00:24:38,600
Speaker 1: Up for you?

497
00:24:40,119 --> 00:24:41,560
Speaker 2: Who has really?

498
00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:43,919
Speaker 3: I mean you don't have to answer, obviously, but like,

499
00:24:44,119 --> 00:24:47,240
Speaker 3: who is really PopEd at that wall for you? Is

500
00:24:47,280 --> 00:24:50,280
Speaker 3: it someone you don't know? Is it people most close

501
00:24:50,320 --> 00:24:50,680
Speaker 3: to you?

502
00:24:50,760 --> 00:24:50,840
Speaker 1: Like?

503
00:24:51,080 --> 00:24:57,920
Speaker 3: Who do you feel tests you most? Tests you most well?

504
00:24:57,920 --> 00:24:58,119
Speaker 1: You know?

505
00:24:58,280 --> 00:25:01,359
Speaker 4: Sometimes the idea of my fan base as a whole,

506
00:25:01,520 --> 00:25:04,840
Speaker 4: I have to a part of me, you know, wants

507
00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:08,720
Speaker 4: to share everything and do everything with my fans, and

508
00:25:08,800 --> 00:25:11,480
Speaker 4: the other part of me is like you have to

509
00:25:11,560 --> 00:25:15,240
Speaker 4: have you have to keep certain things private. You know,

510
00:25:15,720 --> 00:25:21,439
Speaker 4: you're not supposed to be shared with the world twenty

511
00:25:21,480 --> 00:25:27,560
Speaker 4: four to seven immediately. Is so I think that my

512
00:25:27,680 --> 00:25:30,959
Speaker 4: fans as a whole, Like trying to decipher what I

513
00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:33,520
Speaker 4: want to share and what I want to keep private

514
00:25:33,600 --> 00:25:36,119
Speaker 4: has been difficult for me because I'm such an open book.

515
00:25:36,200 --> 00:25:39,639
Speaker 4: Like I've talked so openly about my struggles and what

516
00:25:39,680 --> 00:25:43,640
Speaker 4: I've been through, and there are times where I'm like, oh,

517
00:25:43,760 --> 00:25:47,560
Speaker 4: maybe I shouldn't have said that, And so I'm learning,

518
00:25:48,280 --> 00:25:53,080
Speaker 4: But you know, there's other there's other triggers that happen

519
00:25:53,160 --> 00:25:58,480
Speaker 4: in my in my daily life. If someone says something

520
00:25:58,520 --> 00:26:03,040
Speaker 4: that I'm not okay with you know, a random stranger

521
00:26:03,119 --> 00:26:06,560
Speaker 4: in a coffee shop or something. Do a boundary with

522
00:26:06,800 --> 00:26:09,680
Speaker 4: a random stranger if they say a word that I'm

523
00:26:09,680 --> 00:26:12,440
Speaker 4: not that I'm uncomfortable with, Do I set that boundary?

524
00:26:12,480 --> 00:26:15,520
Speaker 4: And it's like, yes, I set that boundary because no

525
00:26:15,640 --> 00:26:20,040
Speaker 4: matter who I'm setting the boundary with, it's important to myself.

526
00:26:20,560 --> 00:26:23,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, totally, you're honoring. That's what I was saying about,

527
00:26:23,880 --> 00:26:27,639
Speaker 1: like the accountability factors, Like you're holding yourself in a

528
00:26:27,680 --> 00:26:30,480
Speaker 1: place where you know you can walk away from an

529
00:26:30,640 --> 00:26:33,360
Speaker 1: exchange or an environment and feel good about it and

530
00:26:33,359 --> 00:26:36,000
Speaker 1: not have that like second voice in your head that's

531
00:26:36,080 --> 00:26:38,520
Speaker 1: chattering and like making you ruminate on things.

532
00:26:38,720 --> 00:26:41,040
Speaker 2: I totally, I totally can relate to that.

533
00:26:41,160 --> 00:26:43,520
Speaker 3: But like, where's the other side of the coin, right,

534
00:26:43,560 --> 00:26:45,600
Speaker 3: Because if we put up too many boundaries, are we

535
00:26:45,680 --> 00:26:49,400
Speaker 3: ever going to be able to fix that trigger or

536
00:26:49,480 --> 00:26:54,320
Speaker 3: not fix but kind of soften that trigger. It's like

537
00:26:54,359 --> 00:26:57,640
Speaker 3: when like somebody's afraid of spiders, right, Like, I never

538
00:26:57,680 --> 00:27:02,120
Speaker 3: go around spiders. That's my boundary for Does that feeling

539
00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:03,320
Speaker 3: get bigger and bigger?

540
00:27:03,760 --> 00:27:06,320
Speaker 4: My boundaries that I'm thinking of are more like if

541
00:27:06,359 --> 00:27:10,239
Speaker 4: someone puts their hand on you and you don't know

542
00:27:10,320 --> 00:27:13,680
Speaker 4: them very well, or they they want a hug, or

543
00:27:14,320 --> 00:27:19,439
Speaker 4: you know, they're invading of your personal space. Sometimes no

544
00:27:19,600 --> 00:27:22,239
Speaker 4: all the time. If you feel uncomfortable with that, you

545
00:27:22,240 --> 00:27:25,200
Speaker 4: have to let them know, Hey, this is my personal space.

546
00:27:25,240 --> 00:27:27,480
Speaker 4: I'm not okay with this. Can you please stop touching me?

547
00:27:27,840 --> 00:27:32,359
Speaker 3: So I can't hit them back their boundary? Can I

548
00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:35,399
Speaker 3: craw magral the fuck out of them? Flash jiu jitsu bitchum?

549
00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:42,960
Speaker 4: Like there's consequences. Like it's like if I'm in a

550
00:27:43,840 --> 00:27:45,720
Speaker 4: what I was referring to at the coffee shop, if

551
00:27:45,800 --> 00:27:52,480
Speaker 4: someone says something really problematic like racist or homophobic or

552
00:27:52,640 --> 00:27:56,119
Speaker 4: against someone with disabilities, Like I'm standing up for what

553
00:27:56,160 --> 00:27:58,480
Speaker 4: I believe in, and I'm setting that boundary of saying, hey,

554
00:27:58,520 --> 00:28:02,520
Speaker 4: you can't say that it's not okay or so that's

555
00:28:02,560 --> 00:28:05,440
Speaker 4: basically what I'm thinking of when I think of.

556
00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:08,639
Speaker 1: So if you heard something like that and it wasn't

557
00:28:08,680 --> 00:28:12,359
Speaker 1: directed at you, you would still feel inclined to chime

558
00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:13,040
Speaker 1: in or intervene.

559
00:28:13,640 --> 00:28:15,879
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, definitely. I Mean that's just kind of the

560
00:28:15,920 --> 00:28:18,520
Speaker 4: person that I am, is I really stand up for

561
00:28:18,560 --> 00:28:22,359
Speaker 4: everything that I believe in and so and I'm kind

562
00:28:22,400 --> 00:28:24,320
Speaker 4: of fearless in that way too. Like I have a

563
00:28:24,320 --> 00:28:28,320
Speaker 4: song called Swine that I just released June twenty third,

564
00:28:28,680 --> 00:28:36,160
Speaker 4: and I it's about abortion rights. And you know, that's

565
00:28:36,200 --> 00:28:39,760
Speaker 4: a topic that's really controversial to so many people because

566
00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:43,360
Speaker 4: not everyone believes in what I believe in. But I

567
00:28:43,400 --> 00:28:46,200
Speaker 4: believe that women deserve the autonomy to make the decisions

568
00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:46,959
Speaker 4: for themselves.

569
00:28:47,560 --> 00:28:50,800
Speaker 3: So, but that's a boundary right there, demmy right that

570
00:28:50,800 --> 00:28:54,800
Speaker 3: that's a government set of boundary that everyone has to

571
00:28:54,840 --> 00:28:57,560
Speaker 3: abide by, but not everyone wants to abide by. It's like,

572
00:28:57,800 --> 00:28:59,840
Speaker 3: that's the kind of boundary I'm talking about where it's like, no,

573
00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:01,960
Speaker 3: I'm gonna push that boundary because that has nothing to

574
00:29:01,960 --> 00:29:05,520
Speaker 3: do with that. That's your scared tactics. That's forcing yourself

575
00:29:05,560 --> 00:29:07,240
Speaker 3: on me. And that's what I love about our podcast

576
00:29:07,280 --> 00:29:10,360
Speaker 3: because the words can go anywhere and everywhere, and like,

577
00:29:10,560 --> 00:29:13,680
Speaker 3: that is such a beautiful boundary to bring up, because

578
00:29:14,360 --> 00:29:17,000
Speaker 3: you're gonna knock that down with that song. You're gonna

579
00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:18,600
Speaker 3: get in the heads of those people. Sorry, I just

580
00:29:18,600 --> 00:29:20,240
Speaker 3: wanted to like interject that that may mean.

581
00:29:20,920 --> 00:29:23,680
Speaker 4: Yeah, and so it's just you know, I do things.

582
00:29:23,760 --> 00:29:26,080
Speaker 4: I stand up for things that I believe in, even

583
00:29:26,120 --> 00:29:28,760
Speaker 4: when I feel like, not everyone's going to agree with me,

584
00:29:29,480 --> 00:29:32,200
Speaker 4: and so if I'm been in a setting where I

585
00:29:32,240 --> 00:29:36,120
Speaker 4: think someone is being disrespectful to another community, I'm definitely

586
00:29:36,200 --> 00:29:39,240
Speaker 4: gonna say something because that's just who I am. Always

587
00:29:39,280 --> 00:29:42,720
Speaker 4: been that way, Yeah, I've always I've always been that

588
00:29:42,760 --> 00:29:48,960
Speaker 4: way from I've just always been very strong willed and opinionated,

589
00:29:49,760 --> 00:29:54,719
Speaker 4: and and I've always stood up for what I believe in. Like,

590
00:29:55,440 --> 00:30:00,080
Speaker 4: I was bullied when I was in junior high and

591
00:30:00,440 --> 00:30:02,080
Speaker 4: I was one of the first people to speak out

592
00:30:02,120 --> 00:30:06,840
Speaker 4: about being bullied, and you know, it was just it

593
00:30:06,880 --> 00:30:09,200
Speaker 4: was something that happened to me. But like I said,

594
00:30:09,200 --> 00:30:11,640
Speaker 4: I'm an open book and I talk about so much

595
00:30:12,360 --> 00:30:16,480
Speaker 4: of my personal journey, and so that was one of

596
00:30:16,480 --> 00:30:18,520
Speaker 4: the first things that I ever spoke out about.

597
00:30:18,760 --> 00:30:22,800
Speaker 1: Do you feel like after you share certain things, which

598
00:30:22,840 --> 00:30:26,200
Speaker 1: is clearly like authentic and your truth, and if people

599
00:30:26,280 --> 00:30:30,240
Speaker 1: don't receive you well, does it impact you? Does it

600
00:30:30,320 --> 00:30:35,360
Speaker 1: make you second guess your initial response or do you

601
00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:38,400
Speaker 1: feel really confident in it.

602
00:30:38,400 --> 00:30:44,000
Speaker 4: It used to affect me, I think probably eight years

603
00:30:44,040 --> 00:30:48,360
Speaker 4: ago it would have affected me. But now I have

604
00:30:48,560 --> 00:30:51,240
Speaker 4: just come to accept that not everyone is going to

605
00:30:51,280 --> 00:30:55,280
Speaker 4: agree with me on everything, and that's Okay, everyone is

606
00:30:55,280 --> 00:30:59,400
Speaker 4: supposed to agree with each other. If everyone agreed with

607
00:30:59,440 --> 00:31:03,800
Speaker 4: each other, then we live in a really boring world.

608
00:31:04,080 --> 00:31:08,480
Speaker 4: But I think that standing up for what I believe

609
00:31:08,480 --> 00:31:12,400
Speaker 4: in is more important than worrying about ruffling somebody's feathers.

610
00:31:14,280 --> 00:31:16,720
Speaker 4: But it's interesting. I can say all of this, but

611
00:31:16,800 --> 00:31:19,000
Speaker 4: yet setting a boundary with someone that I know and

612
00:31:19,040 --> 00:31:20,320
Speaker 4: love can be difficult.

613
00:31:20,480 --> 00:31:24,400
Speaker 3: Do you feel like you push the boundaries with your art.

614
00:31:23,960 --> 00:31:28,440
Speaker 4: I try to definitely, speaking out for what I believe

615
00:31:28,480 --> 00:31:33,840
Speaker 4: in is really important, like I said, and visually, well,

616
00:31:34,280 --> 00:31:37,320
Speaker 4: I think sonically, I'm not a lot of people are

617
00:31:37,360 --> 00:31:41,480
Speaker 4: doing rock music right now. You know, it's it's coming,

618
00:31:41,600 --> 00:31:43,760
Speaker 4: It's kind of it started to come back, and then

619
00:31:43,760 --> 00:31:45,719
Speaker 4: now I feel like it's retrieving a little bit, like

620
00:31:45,720 --> 00:31:50,840
Speaker 4: it's it's not it didn't quite catch and not a

621
00:31:50,840 --> 00:31:53,400
Speaker 4: lot of people in the pop world, I should say,

622
00:31:53,480 --> 00:31:55,640
Speaker 4: there's a lot of artists out there that still make

623
00:31:55,760 --> 00:31:59,760
Speaker 4: rock music. But in the pop world it was going

624
00:31:59,760 --> 00:32:02,280
Speaker 4: in direction and now it's not. And so I feel

625
00:32:02,280 --> 00:32:06,800
Speaker 4: like me sticking with that is kind of me pushing

626
00:32:06,800 --> 00:32:11,440
Speaker 4: my boundaries with I guess my fans and with whoever else.

627
00:32:12,120 --> 00:32:17,000
Speaker 3: You also push the boundaries you know against what people

628
00:32:17,080 --> 00:32:19,560
Speaker 3: wanted to brand you as at the beginning of your

629
00:32:19,680 --> 00:32:23,719
Speaker 3: music career. You know, if you stand there as a

630
00:32:24,320 --> 00:32:29,200
Speaker 3: idle slash public figure that has a multi human team

631
00:32:29,440 --> 00:32:33,600
Speaker 3: to create this brand, they set invisible boundaries of what

632
00:32:33,640 --> 00:32:36,440
Speaker 3: you can and cannot do. And I feel like throughout

633
00:32:36,480 --> 00:32:40,040
Speaker 3: your career you have always knocked those down within your circle,

634
00:32:40,080 --> 00:32:41,840
Speaker 3: saying no, I'm going to do this, I'm going to

635
00:32:41,920 --> 00:32:44,560
Speaker 3: do that. Was that hard for you to kind of

636
00:32:45,400 --> 00:32:51,040
Speaker 3: take your take your visual reputation of yourself back? Am

637
00:32:51,120 --> 00:32:51,960
Speaker 3: I wrong in saying that?

638
00:32:52,880 --> 00:32:55,240
Speaker 4: Well, you know, in the beginning of my career and

639
00:32:55,280 --> 00:32:59,560
Speaker 4: when I was with Disney Channel and everything, I was

640
00:32:59,640 --> 00:33:03,640
Speaker 4: kind of I felt like I was clay fitting into

641
00:33:03,720 --> 00:33:07,800
Speaker 4: molds of what other people wanted of me, and I

642
00:33:07,880 --> 00:33:11,200
Speaker 4: didn't necessarily stand true to who I was. But I

643
00:33:11,280 --> 00:33:13,880
Speaker 4: was also a teenager trying to figure out who that was.

644
00:33:14,840 --> 00:33:17,760
Speaker 4: So on one hand, I could say that I was

645
00:33:17,800 --> 00:33:20,480
Speaker 4: being molded into someone I wasn't, but at the same time,

646
00:33:20,520 --> 00:33:22,680
Speaker 4: I didn't know who I was, so I was still

647
00:33:22,720 --> 00:33:26,360
Speaker 4: trying to figure out all these identities. And at one

648
00:33:26,400 --> 00:33:30,400
Speaker 4: point I think where I kind of snapped was after

649
00:33:30,760 --> 00:33:35,800
Speaker 4: a tour of being in leotards and stiletto heels and

650
00:33:35,840 --> 00:33:38,880
Speaker 4: all these wigs, and I just was like, this isn't me.

651
00:33:39,920 --> 00:33:43,560
Speaker 4: And now when I'm on stage, I'm definitely not in

652
00:33:43,600 --> 00:33:47,160
Speaker 4: stilettos or a leotard. And it was just this I

653
00:33:47,240 --> 00:33:50,520
Speaker 4: rejected that like hyper feminine version of myself that I

654
00:33:50,520 --> 00:33:54,560
Speaker 4: felt like I was putting on in order to please

655
00:33:54,720 --> 00:33:58,360
Speaker 4: the masses and to please those around me at the time.

656
00:34:00,800 --> 00:34:05,959
Speaker 4: I feel like now I definitely set a boundary with

657
00:34:06,640 --> 00:34:09,880
Speaker 4: my stylist of like, hey, this is what I'm definitely

658
00:34:09,920 --> 00:34:14,200
Speaker 4: not going to wear. Let's explore other options, and I'm

659
00:34:14,239 --> 00:34:20,360
Speaker 4: more authentic to myself now And those are boundaries that

660
00:34:20,440 --> 00:34:21,560
Speaker 4: I've had to set over time.

661
00:34:22,160 --> 00:34:25,240
Speaker 1: Where do you think you found the strength or power

662
00:34:25,360 --> 00:34:28,480
Speaker 1: to push back because that can be very hard.

663
00:34:29,880 --> 00:34:33,799
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think I found it because you know, I

664
00:34:33,840 --> 00:34:36,000
Speaker 4: went through a lot. I went through a really dark

665
00:34:36,040 --> 00:34:40,480
Speaker 4: time in twenty eighteen, and I think when I reached

666
00:34:40,520 --> 00:34:43,840
Speaker 4: that breaking point, I came out of it and was like,

667
00:34:43,920 --> 00:34:47,279
Speaker 4: you know what, I have some work to do. I'm

668
00:34:47,280 --> 00:34:50,839
Speaker 4: not happy and something's wrong. So I had to do

669
00:34:50,920 --> 00:34:55,239
Speaker 4: some soul searching and I had to learn that I

670
00:34:55,280 --> 00:34:59,680
Speaker 4: was in situations before where my boundaries were non existent

671
00:35:00,360 --> 00:35:04,120
Speaker 4: because of the people that were around me, very controlling,

672
00:35:04,320 --> 00:35:07,279
Speaker 4: very manipulative, and so I felt like my voice had

673
00:35:07,320 --> 00:35:11,520
Speaker 4: been taken away. And when I came out of twenty eighteen,

674
00:35:12,120 --> 00:35:14,759
Speaker 4: I was like working with my therapist and she was like,

675
00:35:14,760 --> 00:35:17,160
Speaker 4: you have some boundaries to set. You have to stand

676
00:35:17,239 --> 00:35:20,560
Speaker 4: up for yourself because you've spent so many years not

677
00:35:20,640 --> 00:35:23,320
Speaker 4: standing up for yourself and letting other people make decisions

678
00:35:23,320 --> 00:35:27,560
Speaker 4: for you. And so I think doing that work with

679
00:35:27,600 --> 00:35:30,440
Speaker 4: my therapist was really important to figure out what I

680
00:35:30,520 --> 00:35:32,160
Speaker 4: needed to do in order to stay sane.

681
00:35:32,760 --> 00:35:36,560
Speaker 3: This like, obviously it's unique to your experience. However, there

682
00:35:36,600 --> 00:35:38,480
Speaker 3: is a through line with people that are in the

683
00:35:38,480 --> 00:35:42,160
Speaker 3: industry that start very young. Right, there's that boundary that

684
00:35:42,200 --> 00:35:45,279
Speaker 3: we set for ourselves, and then there's ones slash, you know,

685
00:35:45,680 --> 00:35:49,680
Speaker 3: a pin or a boundary that they build around us

686
00:35:50,080 --> 00:35:56,759
Speaker 3: that is blocked by money, shiny things, success, fame, and

687
00:35:56,920 --> 00:36:01,120
Speaker 3: just easy life. And it's really difficult to either dig

688
00:36:01,160 --> 00:36:04,160
Speaker 3: a hole and crawl underneath and go down to those darkest,

689
00:36:04,200 --> 00:36:06,040
Speaker 3: deepest moments and come back up the other side of

690
00:36:06,040 --> 00:36:09,200
Speaker 3: that boundary wall, or fly on top of it and

691
00:36:09,280 --> 00:36:11,640
Speaker 3: change it. You know, we've had so many people in

692
00:36:11,680 --> 00:36:15,560
Speaker 3: the industry that have had that story of I didn't

693
00:36:15,560 --> 00:36:17,440
Speaker 3: know what I was doing, I didn't know what I

694
00:36:17,480 --> 00:36:20,879
Speaker 3: had to follow. What this person that I quote air

695
00:36:20,960 --> 00:36:24,640
Speaker 3: quotes semi trusted because you know, I have this, and

696
00:36:24,680 --> 00:36:26,640
Speaker 3: I have that and I have this. It's like that's

697
00:36:26,680 --> 00:36:31,240
Speaker 3: a really difficult thought process for some because like people

698
00:36:31,280 --> 00:36:34,799
Speaker 3: that are not in the industry, you know, I don't know,

699
00:36:34,840 --> 00:36:37,319
Speaker 3: maybe you were. I wasn't allowed to No, Dad, I'm

700
00:36:37,320 --> 00:36:39,719
Speaker 3: not doing that, and then slam my door and then

701
00:36:39,800 --> 00:36:42,160
Speaker 3: go inside and that's my boundary and I'm like seven,

702
00:36:42,400 --> 00:36:44,640
Speaker 3: Like that's not available for me on a set to

703
00:36:44,719 --> 00:36:48,240
Speaker 3: a director, you know, when he's talking to me, it's like, okay,

704
00:36:48,239 --> 00:36:51,400
Speaker 3: whatever he needs. Are like we are trained to in

705
00:36:51,480 --> 00:36:54,760
Speaker 3: a way be submissive in order to get the job done.

706
00:36:55,200 --> 00:36:58,080
Speaker 3: And I just wanted to say that that's.

707
00:36:57,920 --> 00:36:59,640
Speaker 1: Also really the murky lines.

708
00:37:00,080 --> 00:37:03,000
Speaker 4: There was also just so much fear instilled in us

709
00:37:03,080 --> 00:37:06,280
Speaker 4: as child actors because you know that at any point

710
00:37:06,320 --> 00:37:11,360
Speaker 4: they can replace you. Yes of being replaced after working

711
00:37:11,520 --> 00:37:15,640
Speaker 4: so hard for booking that one job, you know, was

712
00:37:15,800 --> 00:37:19,239
Speaker 4: just kind of it overpowered the need to stand up

713
00:37:19,320 --> 00:37:23,839
Speaker 4: for yourself. And I think that that's really dangerous when

714
00:37:23,840 --> 00:37:28,520
Speaker 4: it comes to young people and adolescents because you know

715
00:37:28,600 --> 00:37:33,040
Speaker 4: that's when they're in such formative years for the rest

716
00:37:33,080 --> 00:37:36,640
Speaker 4: of their lives. Like, I'm still reworking through patterns that

717
00:37:37,040 --> 00:37:40,240
Speaker 4: were instilled in me as a child actor or a teenager.

718
00:37:40,280 --> 00:37:44,279
Speaker 4: I'm still reworking and reprogramming myself to be able to

719
00:37:44,320 --> 00:37:47,840
Speaker 4: stand up for myself when I need to. And setting

720
00:37:48,080 --> 00:37:51,960
Speaker 4: boundaries with strangers is so much easier than setting boundaries

721
00:37:51,960 --> 00:37:52,680
Speaker 4: with loved ones.

722
00:38:02,200 --> 00:38:04,439
Speaker 1: DEMI, We're gonna play a game, and here's the deal.

723
00:38:04,440 --> 00:38:06,360
Speaker 1: One of the boundaries that I have in my house

724
00:38:06,520 --> 00:38:09,120
Speaker 1: is we can't have a bunch of shit, and my

725
00:38:09,360 --> 00:38:13,560
Speaker 1: wife loves to collect shit. So we've decided that we're

726
00:38:13,600 --> 00:38:15,880
Speaker 1: gonna put this game into our podcast, and then if

727
00:38:15,920 --> 00:38:18,319
Speaker 1: you win the game, you get to have something that

728
00:38:18,440 --> 00:38:22,280
Speaker 1: Raven has kind of like hoarded slash collected Slash loves.

729
00:38:22,360 --> 00:38:26,000
Speaker 1: It's great, it's a treasure. It's helping me respect my

730
00:38:26,120 --> 00:38:28,319
Speaker 1: boundary of like not so much stuff at the house.

731
00:38:28,360 --> 00:38:29,080
Speaker 2: Are we ready?

732
00:38:30,080 --> 00:38:30,360
Speaker 4: Yes?

733
00:38:30,719 --> 00:38:34,840
Speaker 1: Newsweek listed the top eight red flags or signs of

734
00:38:34,880 --> 00:38:38,879
Speaker 1: a dangerous, controlling, or toxic partner, warnings to get out

735
00:38:38,880 --> 00:38:42,200
Speaker 1: before your heart is broken or worse. This is according

736
00:38:42,239 --> 00:38:46,000
Speaker 1: to relationship experts they consulted, and one of them is

737
00:38:46,160 --> 00:38:50,600
Speaker 1: ignoring your boundaries. So, out of the seven left, if

738
00:38:50,640 --> 00:38:54,000
Speaker 1: we can guess two of the red flags, you will

739
00:38:54,040 --> 00:39:00,600
Speaker 1: win a Geniza five and one hand blender. It's an

740
00:39:00,600 --> 00:39:03,239
Speaker 1: immerged lender Raven order two of them, you get to

741
00:39:03,239 --> 00:39:06,200
Speaker 1: win one. It has a whisk an egg beater, a

742
00:39:06,280 --> 00:39:08,600
Speaker 1: milk father, a beaker, and a chopping bowl.

743
00:39:08,600 --> 00:39:10,600
Speaker 3: I bought this because I wanted to make my own mayo,

744
00:39:11,600 --> 00:39:14,520
Speaker 3: and I accidentally said two on the Amazon card. So

745
00:39:14,560 --> 00:39:16,720
Speaker 3: you get one and we can make mayo together.

746
00:39:16,800 --> 00:39:18,680
Speaker 4: Demmy, I'm ready.

747
00:39:18,960 --> 00:39:20,920
Speaker 2: Okay, So here's the deal. So what we're gonna do.

748
00:39:20,960 --> 00:39:23,480
Speaker 1: We're all in a team together and we're going to

749
00:39:23,560 --> 00:39:26,280
Speaker 1: talk it out, and we just need to name two

750
00:39:27,239 --> 00:39:31,760
Speaker 1: of the red flags that have made this list.

751
00:39:32,360 --> 00:39:33,239
Speaker 2: So let's talk about it.

752
00:39:33,239 --> 00:39:34,879
Speaker 3: You guys, Okay, you first, Dimmy, or do you want

753
00:39:34,920 --> 00:39:35,759
Speaker 3: us to go first?

754
00:39:36,120 --> 00:39:39,200
Speaker 4: Well? I have a few. One thing for me that

755
00:39:39,400 --> 00:39:45,760
Speaker 4: was like really controlling was food, someone trying to control

756
00:39:45,840 --> 00:39:49,920
Speaker 4: your food and your exercise. That was something I went

757
00:39:50,000 --> 00:39:54,080
Speaker 4: through that was like really traumatic for me. And then

758
00:39:54,120 --> 00:39:56,399
Speaker 4: another one was like not being able to have any

759
00:39:56,719 --> 00:39:58,400
Speaker 4: friends of the opposite sex.

760
00:39:59,440 --> 00:40:02,840
Speaker 3: Oh, so like controlling your body in space.

761
00:40:03,120 --> 00:40:06,120
Speaker 1: I'm seeing like, yeah, like a guy who orders for

762
00:40:06,200 --> 00:40:09,799
Speaker 1: you before you can speak and then says, can't hang

763
00:40:09,800 --> 00:40:12,399
Speaker 1: out with goky unless it's like the movie Secretary and

764
00:40:12,480 --> 00:40:13,440
Speaker 1: it's all good anyway.

765
00:40:13,480 --> 00:40:14,279
Speaker 4: Okay, check that out.

766
00:40:14,440 --> 00:40:16,080
Speaker 2: So neither of those are on the list. Yours. We

767
00:40:16,120 --> 00:40:16,800
Speaker 2: have to keep thinking of it.

768
00:40:16,920 --> 00:40:22,080
Speaker 3: Okay, I'm gonna say something that's really a big toxic flag.

769
00:40:22,520 --> 00:40:23,120
Speaker 2: Big toxic.

770
00:40:23,200 --> 00:40:23,759
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say.

771
00:40:23,760 --> 00:40:26,280
Speaker 3: What's really a big red flag is gaslighting.

772
00:40:27,040 --> 00:40:27,719
Speaker 4: When you are in.

773
00:40:27,680 --> 00:40:32,160
Speaker 3: A relationship and you know for certain you did something

774
00:40:32,320 --> 00:40:35,080
Speaker 3: or said something, and that person is blatantly saying you didn't.

775
00:40:35,160 --> 00:40:38,240
Speaker 3: You have the receipts, you show them and they still

776
00:40:38,239 --> 00:40:40,520
Speaker 3: don't do it. That is a red flag.

777
00:40:41,120 --> 00:40:44,799
Speaker 1: And you know what, that's on the motherfucking list.

778
00:40:45,440 --> 00:40:48,319
Speaker 3: Good job I had somebody I was in. I was

779
00:40:48,400 --> 00:40:50,799
Speaker 3: in a type of relationship where I got gas lit

780
00:40:51,160 --> 00:40:52,080
Speaker 3: every day of my life.

781
00:40:52,760 --> 00:40:54,719
Speaker 4: Yep, I did too, really good.

782
00:40:55,280 --> 00:40:57,120
Speaker 2: I want to go deeper, but you know.

783
00:40:58,320 --> 00:41:02,759
Speaker 1: Okay one and Demi gets the blenders. So I think

784
00:41:02,800 --> 00:41:06,280
Speaker 1: that one of the biggest red of flags is if

785
00:41:06,440 --> 00:41:11,000
Speaker 1: the person you're dating won't introduce you to their friends.

786
00:41:11,000 --> 00:41:14,640
Speaker 4: Oh interesting, Okay, why.

787
00:41:16,840 --> 00:41:21,200
Speaker 1: Because they're keeping you from their friends in a way,

788
00:41:21,280 --> 00:41:22,800
Speaker 1: they don't have friends, they.

789
00:41:22,640 --> 00:41:26,279
Speaker 2: Don't want to show you. I mean, there's something that's

790
00:41:26,280 --> 00:41:27,719
Speaker 2: a red flag to me that just is.

791
00:41:28,280 --> 00:41:31,400
Speaker 4: Well, look at it.

792
00:41:31,600 --> 00:41:33,040
Speaker 3: That's on the list.

793
00:41:33,480 --> 00:41:38,320
Speaker 2: It is. Yes, it's horrible. And I'm gonna say, it's scary.

794
00:41:38,320 --> 00:41:42,759
Speaker 3: How fast we got those demmy you win? Oh these

795
00:41:42,760 --> 00:41:45,000
Speaker 3: are all seven? So love bombing.

796
00:41:46,120 --> 00:41:48,640
Speaker 4: Okay, moving too quickly.

797
00:41:50,000 --> 00:41:51,759
Speaker 3: Never happens to me because I got boundaries, stay to

798
00:41:51,800 --> 00:41:52,520
Speaker 3: fucking your space.

799
00:41:53,400 --> 00:41:54,680
Speaker 2: We moved really fast.

800
00:41:54,760 --> 00:41:58,000
Speaker 3: We're lesbians. There's a difference not introducing you to your friends,

801
00:41:58,000 --> 00:42:00,440
Speaker 3: which is one babe's got gas lighting, which the one

802
00:42:00,440 --> 00:42:07,600
Speaker 3: I got. Inconsistent behavior, sporadically acting crazy, you don't like

803
00:42:07,680 --> 00:42:11,920
Speaker 3: his or her friends, and they.

804
00:42:11,200 --> 00:42:14,640
Speaker 4: Don't have any friends. That's a huge red flag of like,

805
00:42:15,120 --> 00:42:17,120
Speaker 4: form your friends exactly.

806
00:42:17,440 --> 00:42:19,480
Speaker 1: That's what I was saying, Like, if someone's not introducing

807
00:42:19,480 --> 00:42:23,040
Speaker 1: you to their friends, then you don't have them, then

808
00:42:23,080 --> 00:42:25,360
Speaker 1: you're ashamed of me in some way.

809
00:42:25,960 --> 00:42:28,120
Speaker 2: That's a red flag, yeah, for sure.

810
00:42:28,360 --> 00:42:31,080
Speaker 3: And then the last one bad mouthing exes.

811
00:42:31,120 --> 00:42:31,719
Speaker 2: I don't keep that.

812
00:42:31,760 --> 00:42:33,319
Speaker 3: I don't think that's good to put on the list.

813
00:42:33,400 --> 00:42:35,520
Speaker 4: I just don't talk about my exes like they weren't.

814
00:42:35,520 --> 00:42:37,040
Speaker 4: They're not a part of my life anymore.

815
00:42:37,640 --> 00:42:38,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, I agree.

816
00:42:38,640 --> 00:42:41,719
Speaker 1: If somebody that I was newly dating was talking shit

817
00:42:41,800 --> 00:42:44,480
Speaker 1: about their ex, I would not That would.

818
00:42:44,280 --> 00:42:46,200
Speaker 2: Be a red flag that's not attractive. Number one.

819
00:42:46,239 --> 00:42:49,279
Speaker 1: And also, you're clearly still too invested in whatever was

820
00:42:49,320 --> 00:42:50,920
Speaker 1: happening there to have it in conversation.

821
00:42:51,080 --> 00:42:52,680
Speaker 3: But what if you were on a date with someone

822
00:42:52,719 --> 00:42:56,000
Speaker 3: and you continuously talk about your ex in a good way,

823
00:42:58,640 --> 00:42:59,440
Speaker 3: Think about.

824
00:42:59,239 --> 00:43:00,919
Speaker 4: The ex just not be a thing.

825
00:43:02,239 --> 00:43:04,399
Speaker 1: If you're talking about the accent a good way, then

826
00:43:04,400 --> 00:43:07,840
Speaker 1: that date is clearly gonna end poorly because the person

827
00:43:07,840 --> 00:43:09,120
Speaker 1: that you're on the date with is gonna be like,

828
00:43:09,160 --> 00:43:11,400
Speaker 1: what the fuck go back to your ex, idiot.

829
00:43:13,520 --> 00:43:16,719
Speaker 3: Demmy, congratulations, you just won the best gift ever on

830
00:43:16,760 --> 00:43:19,800
Speaker 3: the best podcast ever. You won an immersion blender.

831
00:43:19,840 --> 00:43:23,120
Speaker 2: You're fucking welcome, Debbie.

832
00:43:23,239 --> 00:43:26,319
Speaker 1: This has been a pleasure. You are You're a light,

833
00:43:26,719 --> 00:43:29,960
Speaker 1: You're beautiful, you're wonderful. We're so grateful to have had you.

834
00:43:30,080 --> 00:43:33,200
Speaker 1: And I can't wait for our painting party.

835
00:43:33,320 --> 00:43:35,640
Speaker 3: Our painting party, and Jimmy and I have something that

836
00:43:35,680 --> 00:43:37,960
Speaker 3: we're working on a little bit that's gonna be coming

837
00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:38,439
Speaker 3: out so.

838
00:43:38,400 --> 00:43:38,960
Speaker 2: Check that out.

839
00:43:39,800 --> 00:43:41,680
Speaker 4: We are and so excited, very.

840
00:43:41,600 --> 00:43:44,120
Speaker 3: Excited, just because you know we're gonna treat you like

841
00:43:44,120 --> 00:43:47,240
Speaker 3: everybody else. But what are your socials? Dim I'm just playing,

842
00:43:47,360 --> 00:43:49,440
Speaker 3: y'all know where she is. Go check her out on everything.

843
00:43:50,760 --> 00:43:51,799
Speaker 2: So check her out.

844
00:43:52,400 --> 00:43:55,200
Speaker 4: Thank you so much, Thank you.

845
00:43:55,120 --> 00:43:57,560
Speaker 2: Demi, Thank you, Demmy. I hope you had fun.

846
00:43:58,280 --> 00:43:59,439
Speaker 4: Did I had a lot of fun.

847
00:44:00,080 --> 00:44:07,320
Speaker 3: Absolutely a gem, a gem, an absolute gem, an uncut gem,

848
00:44:07,560 --> 00:44:09,400
Speaker 3: like a super uncut gem.

849
00:44:09,640 --> 00:44:11,600
Speaker 2: She's just precious. You can't go wrong.

850
00:44:11,640 --> 00:44:14,200
Speaker 3: You can't go wrong with Demi Lovato. I really appreciated

851
00:44:14,200 --> 00:44:15,040
Speaker 3: her being honest.

852
00:44:16,200 --> 00:44:17,479
Speaker 2: You love saying her whole name.

853
00:44:17,880 --> 00:44:20,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, Demi Lovato, it just works. I like calling her

854
00:44:20,920 --> 00:44:24,280
Speaker 3: a d or dem the dem dem what a dem dem?

855
00:44:24,640 --> 00:44:28,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, she's She's great. She has a talent, she's a gift.

856
00:44:28,360 --> 00:44:30,839
Speaker 3: You know what. We didn't ask her what she would

857
00:44:30,920 --> 00:44:31,920
Speaker 3: order for Chinese food.

858
00:44:32,440 --> 00:44:35,680
Speaker 1: This has been another episode of the Best Podcast Ever

859
00:44:35,719 --> 00:44:39,120
Speaker 1: with Raven and Miranda, and you can find us on

860
00:44:39,600 --> 00:44:42,040
Speaker 1: all the places you like listening to podcasts and probably

861
00:44:42,080 --> 00:44:45,000
Speaker 1: other places too, like our socials, because those exist.

862
00:44:45,120 --> 00:44:46,480
Speaker 3: Oh they do. Check them out.

863
00:44:47,719 --> 00:44:48,799
Speaker 2: Bye guys, bye, y'all.

864
00:44:54,200 --> 00:44:57,640
Speaker 3: The Best Podcast Ever is an iHeart Podcast Produced and

865
00:44:57,719 --> 00:44:59,920
Speaker 3: hosted by Raven Simone and Miranda.

866
00:45:00,120 --> 00:45:04,200
Speaker 1: Executive producers Jensen Carp and Amy Sugarman. Produced and edited

867
00:45:04,239 --> 00:45:05,560
Speaker 1: by Jordan Katz.

868
00:45:05,360 --> 00:45:08,600
Speaker 3: Who also does our music. Executive in charge of production

869
00:45:09,160 --> 00:45:11,880
Speaker 3: Danielle Romo, producer Hannah Winkleman.

870
00:45:12,120 --> 00:45:14,960
Speaker 1: Theme song by Kenny Siegel and Jordan Katz.

871
00:45:15,120 --> 00:45:18,000
Speaker 3: Follow us on Instagram at the Best Pod Ever and

872
00:45:18,080 --> 00:45:21,560
Speaker 3: send your emails two the Best Pod Ever at gmail

873
00:45:21,600 --> 00:45:28,520
Speaker 3: dot com