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Speaker 1: Ridiculous crime is a production of iHeartRadio Zeren Elizabeth.

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Speaker 2: You know it's ridiculous, I do spontaneous human combustion.

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Speaker 3: Oh that's so ridiculous.

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Speaker 2: No, it is because remember how that used to be

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Speaker 2: a thing, and then now you never ever hear about them. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: and like quick saying exactly right, Well, what happened did

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Speaker 2: spontaneous combustion stop being a thing?

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Speaker 4: Well?

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Speaker 2: I did the research for you. According to the research,

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Speaker 2: there's this big study of spontaneous human combustion back in

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Speaker 2: nineteen eighty four and another one in two thousand and two.

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Speaker 2: The drop off was due to three big changes. One

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Speaker 2: we stopped drinking as much alone. Two we stopped smoking

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Speaker 2: as much. Three we changed our diet. And also it

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Speaker 2: turns out that old, that old high starch, low carb diet,

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Speaker 2: along with the acid tone build up from all the

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Speaker 2: booze that we were drinking, made for a good fuel

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Speaker 2: to burn a body clothes. There's us also something called

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Speaker 2: the wick effect or the candle effect, which is where

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Speaker 2: the adipose tissue or the subcutaneous fat of the body

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Speaker 2: gets turned into a wax like substance, and then that

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Speaker 2: facilitates a slow burn. It can then cause a It

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Speaker 2: can basically power the self emolation. It's like your body

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Speaker 2: was a cand you pull your own fat out of

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Speaker 2: your body. Yeah, right now. Basically, spontaneous Cumban combustion was

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Speaker 2: the result of old alcoholics sitting at home alone. They'd

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Speaker 2: have a heart attack or some other debilitating condition. Then

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Speaker 2: they'd drop their cigarette on their highly flammable lazy boy

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Speaker 2: or their kind of pajamas and up with go grandma.

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Speaker 5: Wow.

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Speaker 2: So spontaneous combustion is no longer a thing because we

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Speaker 2: aren't a bunch of alcoholic smokers living alone. Look at

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Speaker 2: ushy ridiculous.

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Speaker 3: No, that is you know what else is ridiculous?

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Speaker 2: No, but I've heard for it.

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Speaker 3: The Purpise. Yeah, this is Ridiculous Crime, a podcast about

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Speaker 3: absurd and outrageous capers, heists, and cons. It's always ninety

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Speaker 3: nine percent murder free and one hundred percent ridiculous.

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Speaker 2: Those are my lines.

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Speaker 3: Welcome to the second annual Ridiculous Crime Awards, affectionately known

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Speaker 3: as the Purpies. Man Alive. We love award shows, am

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Speaker 3: I right? Am I right? Everybody? Remember this is a

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Speaker 3: rollicking look back at the past year of entertainment, ranking

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Speaker 3: things with an arbitrary value, Zaren. It's been quite a year,

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Speaker 3: hasn't it.

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Speaker 2: You know it, Elizabeth. A lot of things going on

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Speaker 2: in the world, good things, bad things. It was a

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Speaker 2: year like no other, and yet like all the others

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Speaker 2: all at the same time.

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Speaker 3: Yes, two thousand and three was a year. Yes, this

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Speaker 3: was the second year of Ridiculous Crime, and it was

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Speaker 3: a doozy right, Producer Dave as Zaren.

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Speaker 6: Says, you damn right.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Now, once again, our staff analyzed every episode from this

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Speaker 2: year and came up with some truly great categories. I'm geeked.

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Speaker 3: We just lounged around while they did all the work.

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Speaker 2: It was rad Of course, we can't start the show

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Speaker 2: without our special Awards show theme song hit It weir.

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Speaker 3: Les conve jil Drendas.

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Speaker 7: Tonight we celebrate the majesty of Crime with the Perpies.

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Speaker 3: You hug me the puppies. What a great song. Really

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Speaker 3: captures the mood. And now let me present our host

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Speaker 3: for the evening, Producer.

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Speaker 6: Dave, thanks, lady host. Speaking of songs, We've had some

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Speaker 6: great ones this year for each episode. I mean really,

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Speaker 6: really powerful tunes that captured the heart of the story.

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Speaker 6: These songs pulled at the heart strings of humanity and

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Speaker 6: allowed us to feel the notes of our own hearts

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Speaker 6: in the air around us. Throughout the show, We're gonna

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Speaker 6: hear the five songs that really went above and beyond.

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Speaker 6: Our first nominee for Ridiculous Song of the Year is

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Speaker 6: Mirph the Surf by Tommy and the Jangles from the

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Speaker 6: episode Endless Bummer Beach, Bad Boys, Rob Hall of Gems.

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Speaker 4: Let's take a listen.

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Speaker 2: Anybody now deserve now.

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Speaker 3: All the ladies, thank You's really the damn it manen

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Speaker 3: fun fact. That track made it to number four on

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Speaker 3: the Estonian Pop music charts, very popular over there. It

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Speaker 3: even launched a fashion trend, bored short onesies.

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Speaker 2: I love that. It was a real cool to get

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Speaker 2: Tommy and the Jangles on that one. I had to

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Speaker 2: pull a lot of strings, call in some favors. Let's

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Speaker 2: just hope that I never have a firstborn son.

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Speaker 6: That's great for you. The next award is a special one.

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Speaker 6: Here to present the award for Best con Artist is

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Speaker 6: co host of Ridiculous Crime, Jaron Burnett.

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Speaker 2: Hey, thank you for having me. It's a pleasure to

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Speaker 2: be here. It's a pleasure to be anywhere. This category

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Speaker 2: is a special one. It's about the folks who make

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Speaker 2: our tagline what it is. You know, we say capers,

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Speaker 2: heists and cons. These are the masters of those cons.

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Speaker 2: The nominees for Best con Artists are Christopher Roken cor

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Speaker 2: from Hey Everybody, It's me a Rockefeller. Christopher rocancr a

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Speaker 2: scrappy Frenchman with a love of the good life. Oh,

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Speaker 2: Chris got himself in a little bit of trouble in

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Speaker 2: Hollywood and the Hamptons. When you're dragging Mickey Rourke into

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Speaker 2: things and pretending to be a Rockefeller, you know what's

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Speaker 2: going to be good. Fred Damara from the Love Song

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Speaker 2: of Fred w Demara. He only wanted to help people.

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Speaker 2: He just didn't have time for medical school. Conning your

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Speaker 2: way into saving lives is a new one for us,

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Speaker 2: and we will never forget Fred's ridiculousness, and neither should you.

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Speaker 2: Big Bertha Hayman from The Biggest Little Confidence Queen in

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Speaker 2: Texas and New York, Montana and San Francisco. Bertha Hayman,

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Speaker 2: this woman was a force of nature, able to get

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Speaker 2: what she wanted whenever she wanted. She took gullible men

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Speaker 2: for a ride from New York to San Francisco. Her

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Speaker 2: looks were maligned by the newspapers of the day, but

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Speaker 2: to us, she's a beautiful, shining star of crime. Wilson

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Speaker 2: Meisner from King of the King of the Khan Men,

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Speaker 2: Wilson Meisner. Wilson Meisner was everywhere the Yukon, New York, Florida, Hollywood,

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Speaker 2: and everywhere he went. His smooth talking, quick witted ways

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Speaker 2: got him lots of money with little work, Wilder than

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Speaker 2: wild and always in the right place at the right time. Lastly,

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Speaker 2: Mike Romanov from Someday My Prince Will Cohn Michael Romanov.

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Speaker 2: If there's something Americans love, it's a vaguely European accent.

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Speaker 2: Throw in some aristocracy and we're sold. Michael Romanov rode

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Speaker 2: this fascination and went from peasant to Prince of Hollywood.

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Speaker 2: And the winner is Wilson Meiser, which makes sense because

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Speaker 2: he was, after all, the King of the con.

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Speaker 6: Now that's great, so good, the King, the King of

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Speaker 6: the Conoman.

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Speaker 2: Wow.

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Speaker 6: To present this next award, we are joined by the

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Speaker 6: other co host of Ridiculous Crime, Elizabeth.

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Speaker 3: Hello, you are welcome. You are so happy for me

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Speaker 3: to be here. Our next category is when that is

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Speaker 3: dear to my heart. It's celebrities. They're just like us.

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Speaker 3: They walk their dogs, eat food, go to the doctor,

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Speaker 3: set fire to the eternal stones of fantalia in order

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Speaker 3: to maintain power and virility, just like us. Sometimes they

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Speaker 3: do crime, and we're here to talk about that. The

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Speaker 3: nominees for Best Celebrity Crimer are Stephen Fry from Stephen

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Speaker 3: Fry Stole some credit cards and We're all better for it.

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Speaker 3: Oh Stephen Fry, That lovely old so and so. A

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Speaker 3: witty genius. Fry has captivated audiences across the world in films,

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Speaker 3: TV shows, books, podcasts, and general awesomeness, But as a

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Speaker 3: young lad, he was less focused on bettering us all

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Speaker 3: and more focused on bettering his wardrobe at the expense

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Speaker 3: of others. God bless them. Liam and Noel Gallagher from

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Speaker 3: Let's Look Back in Anger The Batlan Gallagher Brothers of

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Speaker 3: Oasis Zaren took us on a wild ride through the

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Speaker 3: many criminal exploits of the famous Gallagher Brothers of Oasis.

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Speaker 3: Drugs fighting, more drugs, more fighting. They never fail to entertain,

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Speaker 3: both on and off the stage. The Eagles from The

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Speaker 3: Eagles Versus Hotel California, The band, not the football team.

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Speaker 3: I'm not ashamed to say that I love the song

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Speaker 3: Hotel California. The Eagles, or rather Eagles, wrote many hits

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Speaker 3: over the years, and that only made their notes and

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Speaker 3: sheet music all the more valuable. Just like Oases, there

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Speaker 3: were drugs and fighting, but this one has theft two

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Speaker 3: guns n' Roses from out to get Me, the various

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Speaker 3: legal woes of Guns n' Roses. The bad boys of

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Speaker 3: hair metal. Guns n' Roses are a mess of drugs

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Speaker 3: and more drugs. This episode detailed them many ways. The

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Speaker 3: members of the band ran into the law, arrests, lawsuits,

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Speaker 3: and did we mention drugs? Tim Allen from doing time

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Speaker 3: with Tim the cokeman Allen. Speaking of drugs, Tim Allen,

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Speaker 3: we're finding that for the most part, where there's a celebrity,

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Speaker 3: there's drugs. Tim Allen is at the top of the

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Speaker 3: cocaine mountain. The other celebrities may have dabbled or devolved,

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Speaker 3: but Tim Allen was out there moving serious weight, from

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Speaker 3: doing time to tool time. This guy's story is incredible,

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Speaker 3: and the winner of Best Celebrity Crimer is Tim Allen.

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Speaker 3: I think what makes him great is that he did

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Speaker 3: the crime and the time before he was a celebrity,

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Speaker 3: and then he went on to make America laugh and

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Speaker 3: make Pamela Anderson uncomfortable.

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Speaker 6: Wow, the lady host didn't do a bad job at that.

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Speaker 6: Good job, Betton. Our second nominee for Best Song is

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Speaker 6: Russo Corso by Giuseppe Bambonzari from the episode The Need

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Speaker 6: for Speed, Tom Baker, And.

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Speaker 5: You knew I can't control my serf when I get

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Speaker 5: in that frawy Yeah, I don't know who why? When

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Speaker 5: I get that four rowery.

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Speaker 2: And you knew I was control of my.

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Speaker 5: When a Ki in the Feri.

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Speaker 6: Abondanza. That was really beautiful. Another Bombonzari gem, you know,

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Speaker 6: like Anyo Marconi.

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Speaker 3: Bombonzari pushed the edges of what could be considered music.

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Speaker 2: So true when people said no, bomb Bonzari said, see

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Speaker 2: heah Miele.

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Speaker 6: Precisely. Next up, we have an award presented by none

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Speaker 6: other than defensive coordinator for the NFL's newest expansion team,

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Speaker 6: the Costa Mesa Concussions, Zarren Burnett.

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Speaker 2: Thanks, mister Dave. I am honored to present this award.

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Speaker 2: I love the awards. Every day I come to Ridiculous

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Speaker 2: Crime Headquarters and I get to work with this weirdo

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Speaker 2: Elizabeth Dutton, and sometimes we get to talk about weirdos.

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Speaker 2: Here are some of the best weirdos we've profiled. The

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Speaker 2: nominee for best Weirdos are King Carlos. This guy embodies

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Speaker 2: one of the ridiculous crime Max act. Like you know,

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Speaker 2: he desperately wanted to become a professional soccer player but

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Speaker 2: didn't have the skills, and he didn't let that stop him,

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Speaker 2: and it helped that he was a total weirdo North

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Speaker 2: Pond Hermit. At some point, It's likely people have wanted

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Speaker 2: to disappear into the woods for a while. It's super

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Speaker 2: weird to disappear into the woods for decades, living off

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Speaker 2: the land and the goods and people's vacation cabins. The

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Speaker 2: North Woods Hermit took weird to another level. Balloon Boy's dad.

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Speaker 2: How weird is it to build a big silver balloon

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Speaker 2: and launch your kid into the air and to do

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Speaker 2: it for publicity weird? His interviews were weird, his behavior

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Speaker 2: was weird. Everything about him was weird. Rob Tall University,

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Speaker 2: his band is weird, his hair is weird. Getting fraudulent

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Speaker 2: loans is standard issue ridiculous crime, but changing your name

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Speaker 2: to Rob Tall, University is as weird as it gets,

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Speaker 2: Doctor Dante. Let's face it, hypnotism. It's a little weird,

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Speaker 2: and it's weirder when it's used as a vehicle for

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Speaker 2: a large scale con. Okay, the winner is north Woods Hermit.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I can believe that a guy chose to

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Speaker 2: live in the woods for decades, But what I can't

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Speaker 2: believe is that he ditched that sweet Superaru brat on

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Speaker 2: the side of the road.

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Speaker 6: So so weird. We need to take a break to

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Speaker 6: listen to some ads from our sponsors who allow us

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Speaker 6: to keep doing what we're doing right now.

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Speaker 7: Back in a flash.

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Speaker 6: Okay, returning in two one.

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Speaker 2: That's you me.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, Well, welcome back to the second Annual Parties. Our

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Speaker 6: next presenter is the nineteen fifty eighth winner of America's

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Speaker 6: Laziest Bake Off, Elizabeth Dutton.

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Speaker 2: Oh hey, Dave, this.

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Speaker 3: Is one of my favorite parts of the show. What

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Speaker 3: I'm about to talk about, I'm talking about the picture.

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Speaker 3: It's it's a way for us to really just open

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Speaker 3: her up, get creative, just get silly, feel special, to

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Speaker 3: finally feel alive. The nominees for Best Picture It are

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Speaker 3: Zaren is a pervert from Plymouth Rock landed on us

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Speaker 3: the Plymouth Mail Heis. It wasn't just the beautiful soundscape

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Speaker 3: that brought this one to life. It was also Zaren

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Speaker 3: being cast as a pervert who spies on his neighbors.

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Speaker 2: It was a new low from me, Oh you too.

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Speaker 3: The party scene from the High Cosmic Crimes of Lord Buckley.

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Speaker 3: Zaren took us to a psychedelic, raucous Hollywood party, complete

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Speaker 3: with a donkey wearing a sombrero and Robert Mitcham with

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Speaker 3: a parrot on his shoulder. I think we can all

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Speaker 3: agree that we totally pictured it.

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Speaker 6: I didn't like this one too much work.

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Speaker 3: The coke scene from The Eagles versus Hotel California, the

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Speaker 3: band not the football team. I showed up as a

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Speaker 3: judgmental parrot in this fever dream of a picture. It

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Speaker 3: perched in the home of producer Julia Phillips. I spoke

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Speaker 3: truth to power.

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Speaker 2: Don Henley has no star.

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Speaker 3: The arrest scene from Wouldn't You Like to Get Away?

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Speaker 3: The North Pond Hermit. Zaren plays a giant Costco size

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Speaker 3: bag of large marshmallows who watches helplessly as the North

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Speaker 3: Woods Hermit robs the Summer Camp of its epicurean delights,

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Speaker 3: including him. Luckily, he was saved by a game warden

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Speaker 3: the bookstore scene from A Dirty Little Book Thief John

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Speaker 3: Charles Gilkey. Producer Dave took us to a small, rare

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Speaker 3: bookstore in San Francisco for this one, and from there

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Speaker 3: we witnessed Zaren as a secret bookseller assassin. And the

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Speaker 3: winner is a tie Hotel California and north Woods Hermit.

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Speaker 3: I really enjoyed imagining myself as a sassy parrot. I'm

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Speaker 3: just going to say that, and I know that Zaren

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Speaker 3: enjoyed being a bag of marshmallows my final form and

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Speaker 3: more than being a pervert. It all just felt natural.

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Speaker 3: I think that the North Woods Hermit picture it was

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Speaker 3: the first instance of one of us asking the other

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Speaker 3: to imagine that they're in a nanimate object. That was groundbreaking.

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Speaker 3: And then, speaking of groundbreaking, how about producer Dave managing

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Speaker 3: to get the vibe of Hotel California without us having

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Speaker 3: to pay for licensing. It was genius. He created one

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Speaker 3: of the most incredible soundscapes in this one for us,

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Speaker 3: and we could picture it.

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Speaker 2: Better bring it home.

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Speaker 6: I'll tell you what I can picture I can picture

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Speaker 6: myself slaving over at audio console while my wife and

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Speaker 6: kids cry in front of my photograph splitting a bean

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Speaker 6: into three portions. Support your local unions people, I heeart

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Speaker 6: podcast Union.

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Speaker 8: Yes.

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Speaker 6: Anyway. Our third nominee for Best Song is the hit

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Speaker 6: underground club track There's a Boy in That Balloon by

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Speaker 6: DJ Freshbottom from the episode The Falcon and the show Man,

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Speaker 6: The epic Journey of Balloon Boy.

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Speaker 4: Okay, okay, whoa.

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Speaker 2: There's a.

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Speaker 3: There's all there's a bully in that balloon.

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Speaker 4: There's a boy in that balloon. Man.

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Speaker 6: I remember when that episode came out, people were so

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Speaker 6: stoked that DJ fresh bottoms work. We'd get that much

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Speaker 6: wider audience.

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Speaker 2: Right yeah. And also others did kind of claim that

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Speaker 2: he sold out there.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, but like I'm just in the DJ fresh Bottom's

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Speaker 3: line of giant habs. Yeah, you were hashtag blessed, hashtag

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Speaker 3: fresh Bottom.

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Speaker 6: Our next presenter needs no introduction, but I Am going

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Speaker 6: to do it anyway. Ladies and germs, please welcome five

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Speaker 6: time Oscar Award winning Accent coach Zaren Burnett.

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Speaker 2: Thank you, mister David Lee Kusten. We joke a lot

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Speaker 2: on this show. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

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Speaker 2: And one of the things we often joke about is

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Speaker 2: criminals writing books. It turns out the best way to

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Speaker 2: get a book deal is do some time. It's funny

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Speaker 2: because it's true. It feels like as soon as they

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Speaker 2: get locked up, they take pen to paper, by the press,

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Speaker 2: finger to key, and they just start telling their stories,

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Speaker 2: releasing their truths, and that all makes our job so

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Speaker 2: much easier. So thank you guys for doing that. The

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Speaker 2: nominees for Best Crime Book are I Christopher rock On

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Speaker 2: Kor Orphan Playboy, and Jailbird Bye. Christopher rocancor Broken. Korr

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Speaker 2: was a showman through and through, and what egotists showman

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Speaker 2: can resist telling all about his background and exploits certainly

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Speaker 2: not old Chris. In his memoir, he tells the incredible

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Speaker 2: story of how he went from a terrible childhood to

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Speaker 2: hobnobbing and scamming the rich and famous. Fake by Clifford Irvick.

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Speaker 2: This is the book that launched three episodes of Ridiculous Crime. First,

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Speaker 2: there was the episode He Wants to Be a Paperback

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Speaker 2: Writer Clifford Irving, which detailed a scam artist writer and

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Speaker 2: his legitimate book about an art Forger. Then there was

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Speaker 2: Fake It and You'll make it, Oh Mere d'hoy, which

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Speaker 2: profiled that same art forger. Then came Tony Tetro, The

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Speaker 2: Art Forger's Forger, about an art forger inspired by the

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Speaker 2: book and the original art Forger. The book sparked a

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Speaker 2: magnificent expanding Mandel brought set of crime rubare A rici

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Speaker 2: none peccato Stealing from the rich is not a sin.

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Speaker 2: By Vincenzo Peppino. He has been called Philosopher, Thief, Phantom

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Speaker 2: of the Lagoon, and King of Thieves. Vincenzo Peppino is

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Speaker 2: certainly one of our favorites. He details all of his

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Speaker 2: Venetian adventures and exploits in his autobiography. This one is

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Speaker 2: a gem for its name alone. Hipparama of the Classics

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Speaker 2: by Lord Buckley. This book is a transcription of seven

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Speaker 2: monologues taken from recordings by the great cult hipster entertainer.

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Speaker 2: These are the things that made him a criminal in

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Speaker 2: the eyes of the cops. Full of his takes on

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Speaker 2: the lives and words of Jesus, Abraham Lincoln, Roman Emperor, Nero,

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Speaker 2: the Marquis de Sade, Mahatma, Gandhi, Alvar Nunez, Cabesa Devaka,

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Speaker 2: and William Shakespeare. This book is pure, far out, euphoric

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Speaker 2: electric light truth for your bringing Box Baby. And the

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Speaker 2: best crime goes toy Ny Hey Fake by Clifford Irving.

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Speaker 2: This one was a closer. A lot of the judges

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Speaker 2: were swayed by the brilliant title of Peppino's book, but

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Speaker 2: ultimately Fake won it because he gave us three whole

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Speaker 2: episodes of ridiculousness.

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Speaker 6: Wow, so good. You know what books always win, don't they?

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Speaker 4: Ah?

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Speaker 3: I love that always.

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Speaker 6: Some people say, hey, Dave, who's the next presenter?

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Speaker 3: Hey, Hey, Dave, who's the next presenter?

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Speaker 6: And I say, the next presenter is none other than

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Speaker 6: the CEO of Sloss International, Elizabeth Dutton.

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Speaker 3: Hey, thank you, crand sir, you know it's ridiculous.

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Speaker 2: Drugs, Yeah, drugs.

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Speaker 3: Zaren is well known for telling compelling tales of criminality

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Speaker 3: and illicit substances. Yeah, let's celebrate that.

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Speaker 6: Why not?

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Speaker 3: These are the best drug crime stories of the year,

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Speaker 3: and they're all Zarin's.

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Speaker 2: You damn right.

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Speaker 3: Frampton comes Alive with Crime, the harrowing tale of a

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Speaker 3: catfished physics professor turned drug smuggler, all for the love

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Speaker 3: of a bikini model. This one was exceptional because the

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Speaker 3: protagonist was not high on his own supply, but rather

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Speaker 3: high on pictures of his fake girlfriend's jugs. Ho boo,

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Speaker 3: Hoo boo. Say hello to my amish friend. Drugs in Pennsylvania,

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Speaker 3: Dutch Country. Forget apple butter, these amish fellows made their

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Speaker 3: nut on a more profitable product, the cocaine. They gave

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Speaker 3: new meaning to Rumspringo when they teamed up with outlaw

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Speaker 3: biker gangs to supply the dirt bags of the world

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Speaker 3: With Booger Sugar. Diver down the wonderful world of narco subs.

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Speaker 3: Drug dealers are innovative. They dig tunnels, they fly secretive

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Speaker 3: small planes, they make souvenirs out of cocaine for import export.

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Speaker 3: But they get really innovative when they go underwater. This

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Speaker 3: episode gave us a deep dive on submarine smuggling dope floats.

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Speaker 3: The uncrashable Gary Betzner. He hypnotized his wife, lived in

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Speaker 3: the nude, faked his own death, worked with Pablo Escobar,

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Speaker 3: got embroiled in the Iran Contra affair, and pulled off

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Speaker 3: an incredible drug crime. Oh Gary, Betzner. You are one

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Speaker 3: crazy diamond.

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Speaker 2: Oh my man, I'm rooting for Gary.

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Speaker 3: Senator Joe McCarthy and his love of heroin. You'd never

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Speaker 3: expect a man obsessed with the law to break it

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Speaker 3: for drugs, or would you. One man tapped into the

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Speaker 3: paranoias and moral panics of America, all while high as

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Speaker 3: a kite. The other invented the war on drugs while

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Speaker 3: supplying drugs. This episode had it all hypocrites, witch hunts, racism, accusations,

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Speaker 3: and it was all one hundred percent true.

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Speaker 6: I'm going with this one because of the way Zarin

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Speaker 6: said dope again and again. That was one of my

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Speaker 6: highlights of the year.

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Speaker 3: Well, and the winner is Gary Bettsman was so unhinged

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Speaker 3: and so out there he had to be the winner.

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Speaker 3: Zaron really brought it with the drug crimes this year,

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Speaker 3: but Gary Betsner was top of the heap of cocaine.

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Speaker 6: Hooray and hooray for nudity. Let's check in with our

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Speaker 6: next nominee for Best Song. This is in the Woods

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Speaker 6: from the episode Wouldn't You Like to Get Away the

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Speaker 6: North Pond?

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Speaker 2: Hermit?

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Speaker 4: Oh boy, you know what you have?

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Speaker 2: It is It's time to get ridiculous. I ran off

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Speaker 2: into the woods, my friend run in the Away from God.

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Speaker 7: Is Wall being busted?

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Speaker 9: Now?

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00:25:26,600 --> 00:25:34,359
Speaker 2: Just to live and love stream? Yeah, this one is

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Speaker 2: always a controversial tune.

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Speaker 4: You know.

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00:25:36,960 --> 00:25:39,520
Speaker 6: It's got that bouncing, jangling track with a really hard

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Speaker 6: juxtaposition to those raunchy lyrics.

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Speaker 3: Well, you know what's funny is that the executives at

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Speaker 3: iHeart didn't want us to use that, but we held firm.

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Speaker 3: Yeah you do, and now it's up for an award.

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Speaker 3: Would you look at that?

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Speaker 6: Yes, I am looking. I'm looking Elizabeth, I'm looking at this.

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Speaker 6: I'm looking at you, Sarah, looking at you. Here to

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Speaker 6: present our next A war is nineteen eighty four Gold

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Speaker 6: Medalist and Interpretive Dance Zoron Burnette.

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Speaker 2: Heyy, so great to be here, Dave. Thanks for the

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Speaker 2: recognition of my excellence in dance. You, sir, are a

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Speaker 2: beautiful man, and I mean truly your lips they are

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Speaker 2: like a cozy dream. You are a delicate iron hammer

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Speaker 2: held by a velvet gloved hand. This bread, of course, David.

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Speaker 2: But anyway, I'm getting carried away. This category, which I'm

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Speaker 2: here to bring to you, find, folks, is the best

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Speaker 2: heist throw the book out ru Yeah, sorry, throw the

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Speaker 2: book at him. The Transi Library book heist. This one

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Speaker 2: had all the trappings of a classic heist. There were costumes,

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Speaker 2: there was coordinated transportation, there was recon there was a

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Speaker 2: famous auction house, and there was the ultimate target, a

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Speaker 2: very expensive book. The problem was the chuckleheads who thought

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Speaker 2: they could pull this off. Endless Bummer Beach bad Boys.

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00:27:00,240 --> 00:27:03,920
Speaker 2: Damn it, Endless Bummer Beach bad Boys. Rob Hall of Gems,

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Speaker 2: the heist to steal JP Morgan's gems from a museum

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Speaker 2: is strong. What is even stronger is that it involves

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Speaker 2: Murph the Surf, an iconic party boy gone bad. The

432
00:27:15,960 --> 00:27:18,600
Speaker 2: episode had one of Tonight's best song nominees in it,

433
00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:21,600
Speaker 2: and that only added to the legend of this criminal

434
00:27:21,640 --> 00:27:22,080
Speaker 2: folk hero.

435
00:27:22,600 --> 00:27:24,040
Speaker 6: I love Rob Hall of Gems.

436
00:27:27,160 --> 00:27:30,840
Speaker 2: That's actually my safe works, the singer of the band Gems. Yeah,

437
00:27:31,160 --> 00:27:35,879
Speaker 2: let's rob a bank about it? What a heist? Guys?

438
00:27:35,880 --> 00:27:38,720
Speaker 2: Do you remember this one? Or rather heist.

439
00:27:40,080 --> 00:27:41,640
Speaker 3: Producer Dave Special Yes.

440
00:27:41,640 --> 00:27:44,600
Speaker 2: Sean Hopwood. He held up five banks in eleven months,

441
00:27:44,640 --> 00:27:48,320
Speaker 2: swapping college bank for bank robbing. He was, of course caught.

442
00:27:48,800 --> 00:27:50,159
Speaker 2: That would have stopped a lot of men in their

443
00:27:50,160 --> 00:27:53,479
Speaker 2: tracks not sean, no, sir. He went on to not

444
00:27:53,640 --> 00:27:56,000
Speaker 2: just pay his debt to society, but to pay it

445
00:27:56,119 --> 00:28:01,159
Speaker 2: forward to others, from stick up guy to stand up guy?

446
00:28:02,480 --> 00:28:04,000
Speaker 7: Can you digg it?

447
00:28:04,400 --> 00:28:09,080
Speaker 2: The Hole in the Ground Gang, Los Angles is reported

448
00:28:09,080 --> 00:28:11,080
Speaker 2: to be the bank robbery capital of the world. With

449
00:28:11,200 --> 00:28:13,600
Speaker 2: lots of competition. It takes a lot to stand out

450
00:28:14,119 --> 00:28:16,520
Speaker 2: enter the Hole in the Ground Gang. While some go

451
00:28:16,600 --> 00:28:19,320
Speaker 2: in through the front door, the gang hits banks from

452
00:28:19,400 --> 00:28:23,040
Speaker 2: under the earth. They tunneled their way into riches and

453
00:28:23,320 --> 00:28:26,679
Speaker 2: in a rare, ridiculous crime case, they were never caught. OOO.

454
00:28:28,640 --> 00:28:33,960
Speaker 2: Edwin Wrist and the Feather Underground. A young man sets

455
00:28:33,960 --> 00:28:36,520
Speaker 2: his sight on a golden flute. He is desperate for

456
00:28:36,560 --> 00:28:39,720
Speaker 2: the instrument, but he doesn't have the cash. He does, though,

457
00:28:39,840 --> 00:28:44,600
Speaker 2: have a valuable skill fly tying. But expensive flies need

458
00:28:44,720 --> 00:28:47,640
Speaker 2: expensive feathers. So he did the only a logical thing.

459
00:28:47,920 --> 00:28:51,480
Speaker 2: He stole rare feathers from a museum. Of course, that's

460
00:28:51,560 --> 00:28:54,680
Speaker 2: one way to get a golden flute. Okay, a lot

461
00:28:54,680 --> 00:28:57,520
Speaker 2: of good competition. Let's see what this says, and the

462
00:28:57,560 --> 00:29:05,640
Speaker 2: winner is the Transi Library book Heights Hail to the Googe.

463
00:29:06,560 --> 00:29:09,080
Speaker 2: These college jokers came through with a solid heightst If

464
00:29:09,080 --> 00:29:11,240
Speaker 2: they had been anything like the Oceans eleven crew, which

465
00:29:11,280 --> 00:29:14,680
Speaker 2: they so idolized, they'd have gotten away with it. Oh well,

466
00:29:14,840 --> 00:29:16,240
Speaker 2: their failure was our game.

467
00:29:17,320 --> 00:29:23,160
Speaker 6: Yes, books always bet on Books. To present our next award,

468
00:29:23,240 --> 00:29:26,280
Speaker 6: I would like to welcome the best busker on Telegraph Avenue,

469
00:29:26,720 --> 00:29:28,400
Speaker 6: Miss Elizabeth through Tom.

470
00:29:28,920 --> 00:29:32,920
Speaker 3: Thanks Pumpkin. This next award is one for the fighters,

471
00:29:33,160 --> 00:29:38,320
Speaker 3: the conniving, the petty. I'm talking about rivalries. Webster's Dictionary

472
00:29:38,360 --> 00:29:41,600
Speaker 3: describes a rivalry as the act of rivaling, the state

473
00:29:41,680 --> 00:29:45,280
Speaker 3: of being a rival competition, which is not very helpful.

474
00:29:45,360 --> 00:29:48,680
Speaker 3: And they define rival as quote one of two or

475
00:29:48,720 --> 00:29:51,800
Speaker 3: more striving to reach or obtain something that only one

476
00:29:51,920 --> 00:29:53,640
Speaker 3: can possess. Which makes sense, No.

477
00:29:53,720 --> 00:29:55,400
Speaker 2: It doesn't. How can you have one person be a

478
00:29:55,520 --> 00:29:57,600
Speaker 2: rival if they're trying to gain something.

479
00:29:57,360 --> 00:29:59,880
Speaker 3: One of two or more. Yeah, I'm a rival whatever,

480
00:30:00,480 --> 00:30:03,960
Speaker 3: But that's talk to Websters. Only one of these pairings

481
00:30:03,960 --> 00:30:06,520
Speaker 3: can possess that's something, and that's something is victory.

482
00:30:07,560 --> 00:30:07,760
Speaker 8: Yeah.

483
00:30:08,040 --> 00:30:13,160
Speaker 3: The nominees for Best Rivalry are Betty Jean Gooch versus

484
00:30:13,240 --> 00:30:17,920
Speaker 3: Transi book Heist Gang. We've talked about these dimwits and

485
00:30:17,960 --> 00:30:20,320
Speaker 3: their quest to get possession of the rare books in

486
00:30:20,360 --> 00:30:24,120
Speaker 3: the transy Library books, but they did not succeed In

487
00:30:24,160 --> 00:30:27,120
Speaker 3: the end. The victor was most certainly mild mannered librarian

488
00:30:27,160 --> 00:30:31,640
Speaker 3: Betty Jean Gooch, a true ridiculous crime hero. And our books,

489
00:30:31,680 --> 00:30:37,800
Speaker 3: the New Trains Books. Mother Girlock versus the Bishop of

490
00:30:37,840 --> 00:30:43,920
Speaker 3: fort Worthy. We love a badass, don't we, folks, as

491
00:30:43,960 --> 00:30:46,960
Speaker 3: hard as we can, and Mother Superior Teresa Gurlock of

492
00:30:47,000 --> 00:30:50,320
Speaker 3: the Carmelite Monastery of the Most Holy Trinity is badass

493
00:30:50,320 --> 00:30:52,880
Speaker 3: as they come. She took on the creepy Bishop of

494
00:30:52,920 --> 00:30:55,800
Speaker 3: fort Worth, and pretty much one get yours. Mother Girlock.

495
00:30:56,920 --> 00:31:03,000
Speaker 3: John Charles Guilkey versus Biblio Dick, an inveterate book thief,

496
00:31:03,360 --> 00:31:07,120
Speaker 3: a tireless self described bibliodick. The cat and mouse between

497
00:31:07,160 --> 00:31:11,480
Speaker 3: guilty and Ken Sanders was more than ridiculous, it was epic. Sanders.

498
00:31:11,480 --> 00:31:14,960
Speaker 3: The Biblio Dick stands for truth, justice and the literary way,

499
00:31:15,200 --> 00:31:15,920
Speaker 3: and that's why.

500
00:31:15,720 --> 00:31:18,160
Speaker 2: We love him and books and books.

501
00:31:19,960 --> 00:31:25,720
Speaker 3: Lord Buckley versus the Police. Wild and wooly, silly and psychedelic.

502
00:31:25,760 --> 00:31:28,240
Speaker 3: Lord Buckley was a force to be reckoned with. The

503
00:31:28,240 --> 00:31:30,800
Speaker 3: police couldn't get with his brand of loose entertainment, so

504
00:31:30,840 --> 00:31:32,520
Speaker 3: they made it their mission to take him down.

505
00:31:32,680 --> 00:31:33,160
Speaker 7: Boo.

506
00:31:34,440 --> 00:31:41,600
Speaker 3: Liam Gallagher versus Noel Gallagher. Webster's Dictionary defines rivalry as

507
00:31:41,640 --> 00:31:45,360
Speaker 3: the Gallagher brothers. These two are always at each other's throats,

508
00:31:45,400 --> 00:31:49,520
Speaker 3: both figuratively and literally. Their exploits wandered into the crime

509
00:31:49,640 --> 00:31:52,240
Speaker 3: zone when it got physical, which it often did. Here's

510
00:31:52,280 --> 00:31:54,640
Speaker 3: hoping these brothers find a way to smooth things out

511
00:31:54,920 --> 00:31:58,200
Speaker 3: or not. This was a really tight one, guys, lots

512
00:31:58,240 --> 00:32:01,160
Speaker 3: of great nominees. Good year for rivalries. It's not every

513
00:32:01,200 --> 00:32:03,760
Speaker 3: year that we see heated, long lasting feuds like these,

514
00:32:04,040 --> 00:32:08,040
Speaker 3: but the science of tabulation has determined John Charles Guilty

515
00:32:08,120 --> 00:32:12,240
Speaker 3: versus Biblio Dick is the winner. What congratulates to them both.

516
00:32:12,560 --> 00:32:15,400
Speaker 3: We're hoping Kim Sanders finds that storage locker one day.

517
00:32:15,720 --> 00:32:18,240
Speaker 2: I hope that the Gallagher brothers don't look back in anger.

518
00:32:18,400 --> 00:32:19,240
Speaker 3: Yeah that's true.

519
00:32:19,520 --> 00:32:22,480
Speaker 6: Yeah, Sarah, I'm hoping that too, because anger is such

520
00:32:22,520 --> 00:32:23,560
Speaker 6: a dangerous emotion.

521
00:32:23,880 --> 00:32:25,240
Speaker 2: I mean, thank you, producer, Dave.

522
00:32:25,640 --> 00:32:27,080
Speaker 6: It just causes so much destruction.

523
00:32:27,280 --> 00:32:27,480
Speaker 8: Good.

524
00:32:30,200 --> 00:32:33,040
Speaker 6: I too have many hopes and many dreams, and that

525
00:32:33,200 --> 00:32:36,120
Speaker 6: is one of them. I also have dreams that my

526
00:32:36,280 --> 00:32:39,680
Speaker 6: arms are made of liquorice. Well, that's not one of

527
00:32:39,680 --> 00:32:43,000
Speaker 6: my hopes. That's just one of my bad dreams. Let's

528
00:32:43,040 --> 00:32:44,960
Speaker 6: go to commercial so we can do some costume changes.

529
00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:47,480
Speaker 6: When we come back, we'll get right back into the awards.

530
00:32:47,880 --> 00:33:05,720
Speaker 2: I'm gonna get some liquorice.

531
00:33:08,760 --> 00:33:11,080
Speaker 6: And besides, if this has to run long, we'll do

532
00:33:11,120 --> 00:33:17,880
Speaker 6: it right. Oh Ran, Welcome back world. We want to

533
00:33:17,920 --> 00:33:19,920
Speaker 6: take a moment of silence for those who've lost this

534
00:33:20,000 --> 00:33:22,680
Speaker 6: year after they were mentioned in passing on the show.

535
00:33:23,240 --> 00:33:25,320
Speaker 6: You can't see the scrolling list of names right now,

536
00:33:25,520 --> 00:33:28,320
Speaker 6: but know that it's impressive. And this is all very

537
00:33:28,560 --> 00:33:33,959
Speaker 6: very heartfelt. Yeah, and we feel sometimes bad and sometimes

538
00:33:34,000 --> 00:33:37,040
Speaker 6: good for setting this all in motion. And a very

539
00:33:37,280 --> 00:33:40,320
Speaker 6: very special credit to Zarren Burnett, the man who killed

540
00:33:40,320 --> 00:33:41,120
Speaker 6: Henry Kissinger.

541
00:33:41,600 --> 00:33:42,840
Speaker 2: I just do it for the little people.

542
00:33:44,760 --> 00:33:47,760
Speaker 6: And now our last entry in the Best Song category.

543
00:33:48,240 --> 00:33:51,240
Speaker 6: This one captivated audience is all over when it appeared

544
00:33:51,240 --> 00:33:54,480
Speaker 6: in By the Power of the Moon Doctor Dante. It

545
00:33:54,560 --> 00:33:57,600
Speaker 6: is a cover of the classic tune Doctor Dante, originally

546
00:33:57,640 --> 00:34:00,480
Speaker 6: made famous by Perry Como. This verse and the one

547
00:34:00,480 --> 00:34:03,040
Speaker 6: we used in the episode, was performed by the award

548
00:34:03,040 --> 00:34:06,040
Speaker 6: winning artist behind every one of Michael Blue blaze hits.

549
00:34:06,240 --> 00:34:10,400
Speaker 6: That's right. This is Doctor Dante as performed by Brylan Martini.

550
00:34:11,400 --> 00:34:13,040
Speaker 7: Doctor Dante.

551
00:34:14,120 --> 00:34:24,560
Speaker 5: Hypnotize me as yells me, Chris any time I say.

552
00:34:26,719 --> 00:34:27,680
Speaker 2: Yell bab.

553
00:34:33,239 --> 00:34:41,719
Speaker 5: Doctor Dante, Doctor dunte.

554
00:34:44,080 --> 00:34:46,759
Speaker 3: Ooh doggie, that is some earworm, right.

555
00:34:46,960 --> 00:34:49,160
Speaker 2: I have had that in my head every day since

556
00:34:49,160 --> 00:34:51,600
Speaker 2: the episode was first released. Some days I wake up

557
00:34:51,680 --> 00:34:53,520
Speaker 2: humming it Doctor Dante.

558
00:34:54,719 --> 00:34:56,880
Speaker 6: Fun fat gang. Not a lot of people know this,

559
00:34:57,200 --> 00:34:59,320
Speaker 6: but I was able to sit in on the recording

560
00:34:59,360 --> 00:35:04,400
Speaker 6: session for the no what Yes, Brilan Martini is a

561
00:35:04,440 --> 00:35:07,040
Speaker 6: little bit of a menace. In fact, he stole my

562
00:35:07,120 --> 00:35:10,239
Speaker 6: car while I was there. Never got that beauty back.

563
00:35:10,560 --> 00:35:13,320
Speaker 2: Wait no, not really, he really he stole your sweet

564
00:35:13,400 --> 00:35:15,680
Speaker 2: nineteen sixty nine Ol Camino. Not the one with the

565
00:35:15,719 --> 00:35:19,400
Speaker 2: desert Southwest landscape airbrushed on the back, zaren the very one.

566
00:35:20,880 --> 00:35:23,879
Speaker 3: I am so sorry, Dave. If I would have known,

567
00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:26,240
Speaker 3: I never would have bought a sixty nine El Camino

568
00:35:26,280 --> 00:35:28,560
Speaker 3: off Brilan Martini through Facebook marketplace.

569
00:35:28,719 --> 00:35:30,160
Speaker 2: Wait a minute, I'm connecting dots.

570
00:35:30,280 --> 00:35:32,799
Speaker 6: Thanksy. That means a lot and in no way helps me.

571
00:35:34,280 --> 00:35:36,560
Speaker 6: Our next category is a wild one, and here to

572
00:35:36,600 --> 00:35:39,000
Speaker 6: present it is five time employee of the Week at

573
00:35:39,480 --> 00:35:41,600
Speaker 6: subs Zaren Burnetti.

574
00:35:43,280 --> 00:35:47,200
Speaker 2: Thanks Dobby, you are a man among men. You are

575
00:35:47,239 --> 00:35:50,359
Speaker 2: the new Jersey to my Pennsylvania. Okay, look, we've all

576
00:35:50,400 --> 00:35:54,080
Speaker 2: made bad decisions. Generally it's with a pretty feasible plan,

577
00:35:54,360 --> 00:35:56,879
Speaker 2: but we just don't think it through, and that's how

578
00:35:56,920 --> 00:36:00,000
Speaker 2: one winds up on this podcast. But sometimes the bad

579
00:36:00,040 --> 00:36:07,600
Speaker 2: decisions are for absolutely inane insane no may well damn it.

580
00:36:08,880 --> 00:36:12,880
Speaker 2: But sometimes the bad decisions for absolutely inane, insane clown

581
00:36:12,960 --> 00:36:17,440
Speaker 2: posse ideas, plans that make no sense, none whatsoever, just

582
00:36:17,680 --> 00:36:20,520
Speaker 2: mule dumb plans to make us ask, what did you

583
00:36:20,560 --> 00:36:24,120
Speaker 2: think you would get out of this? Friends? The nominees

584
00:36:24,239 --> 00:36:32,719
Speaker 2: for the best ludicrous plan are Edwin Wrist and The

585
00:36:32,760 --> 00:36:37,560
Speaker 2: Feather Underground. Let me get this straight. He broke into

586
00:36:37,600 --> 00:36:40,720
Speaker 2: a museum to steal rare feathers to spend time making

587
00:36:40,880 --> 00:36:44,480
Speaker 2: them into fishing flies so he could buy a golden flute.

588
00:36:44,680 --> 00:36:49,279
Speaker 2: Why not just steal the flute? The Falcon and the

589
00:36:49,320 --> 00:36:54,880
Speaker 2: Snowman So I said that before, didn't I? I don't know, no, no,

590
00:36:55,000 --> 00:36:57,560
Speaker 2: But in the previous one nothing, I'm leaving this in

591
00:36:58,440 --> 00:37:03,160
Speaker 2: The Falcon and the Showman Epic Journey of Balloon boy.

592
00:37:03,280 --> 00:37:08,560
Speaker 2: Richard heenes Kimi. Sorry, Richard Heeney's ludicrous plan was to

593
00:37:08,600 --> 00:37:12,279
Speaker 2: do something so out there and mildly scientific related as

594
00:37:12,320 --> 00:37:14,959
Speaker 2: to get his own television show. He wound up all

595
00:37:15,000 --> 00:37:18,800
Speaker 2: over the TV, all right. Instead of fame, he got infamy.

596
00:37:19,080 --> 00:37:26,040
Speaker 2: That's infamy, yeah right, sorry, Harvey's Casino. So you make

597
00:37:26,120 --> 00:37:28,759
Speaker 2: a giant bomb and when I say giant, I mean

598
00:37:29,000 --> 00:37:33,279
Speaker 2: giantant and you wheel it into a casino and you

599
00:37:33,360 --> 00:37:36,399
Speaker 2: tell them to pay you milans of dolars or you'll

600
00:37:36,400 --> 00:37:38,839
Speaker 2: blow it up, and then you miss the money drop

601
00:37:38,920 --> 00:37:45,680
Speaker 2: and it all falls apart. Great plan, testical thieves. These

602
00:37:45,719 --> 00:37:48,840
Speaker 2: bozos went out of their way, risking lives and arrest

603
00:37:48,960 --> 00:37:52,640
Speaker 2: to get testical juice that would supposedly prevent aging. It's

604
00:37:52,640 --> 00:37:56,200
Speaker 2: a ridiculous crime for an even more ridiculous purpose. Howard

605
00:37:56,560 --> 00:38:01,759
Speaker 2: X the Man Howard x Ak Kim jong un. He

606
00:38:01,840 --> 00:38:05,120
Speaker 2: was head of an international group of world leader impersonators.

607
00:38:05,280 --> 00:38:07,600
Speaker 2: The plan work with Vladimir Putin look alike to get

608
00:38:07,640 --> 00:38:10,400
Speaker 2: a Vladimir Zelensky look alike out of Ukraine in the

609
00:38:10,520 --> 00:38:17,640
Speaker 2: days just after Russian invaded Ludacris. And the winner is

610
00:38:19,000 --> 00:38:25,640
Speaker 2: Edwin Wrist and the feather underground, committing your crime all

611
00:38:25,680 --> 00:38:29,560
Speaker 2: for the love of a golden flute. Both ludicrous and ridiculous.

612
00:38:29,760 --> 00:38:32,440
Speaker 2: It's like a criminal fairy tale told by a Carney.

613
00:38:33,560 --> 00:38:38,200
Speaker 6: It's ludicrous. And that's exactly what I would have said,

614
00:38:38,200 --> 00:38:40,080
Speaker 6: if you'd ever let me get a word in edgewise.

615
00:38:40,280 --> 00:38:41,280
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, what were you saying?

616
00:38:41,880 --> 00:38:44,280
Speaker 6: Here to present the neck? Oh this is falling apart?

617
00:38:44,640 --> 00:38:44,920
Speaker 2: Uh?

618
00:38:45,520 --> 00:38:48,600
Speaker 6: Why do that again? That's exactly what I would have

619
00:38:48,640 --> 00:38:50,279
Speaker 6: said if you had ever let me get a word

620
00:38:50,280 --> 00:38:51,360
Speaker 6: in edgewise therein.

621
00:38:52,200 --> 00:38:53,160
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, what were you saying?

622
00:38:53,200 --> 00:38:55,400
Speaker 3: Thank you for asking here to present.

623
00:38:55,440 --> 00:38:58,640
Speaker 6: The next award is nineteen eighty nine World Solitaire Champion

624
00:38:58,920 --> 00:38:59,840
Speaker 6: Elizabeth Dutton.

625
00:39:00,360 --> 00:39:02,960
Speaker 3: Thank you so much, Dave. It's an honor and a

626
00:39:03,040 --> 00:39:05,960
Speaker 3: gentleman to be here. This next category is something I

627
00:39:06,080 --> 00:39:09,080
Speaker 3: nag about at the end of every episode. See rude.

628
00:39:09,120 --> 00:39:11,760
Speaker 3: Dude's are the best We want to hear from you. Literally,

629
00:39:12,040 --> 00:39:15,040
Speaker 3: I ask people not to send emails because I never

630
00:39:15,120 --> 00:39:17,200
Speaker 3: learned to read, and I don't know my numbers, your

631
00:39:17,239 --> 00:39:20,279
Speaker 3: shapes nothing. I don't know anything, but I can hear

632
00:39:20,360 --> 00:39:24,239
Speaker 3: things Truan and Dave, and we all love when we

633
00:39:24,239 --> 00:39:26,560
Speaker 3: get to hear your sweet voices rude dudes. So the

634
00:39:26,600 --> 00:39:30,920
Speaker 3: nominees for best talkback are the Ranch song.

635
00:39:32,000 --> 00:39:35,440
Speaker 10: Life is depressing, The Earth is actively trying to kill us.

636
00:39:35,760 --> 00:39:39,879
Speaker 10: Life is depressing. Government Strade deals with the devil. How

637
00:39:39,880 --> 00:39:42,720
Speaker 10: can I go back to a space where my smile

638
00:39:42,800 --> 00:39:47,600
Speaker 10: who is in place? I pull out my sacred weapon,

639
00:39:48,120 --> 00:39:51,640
Speaker 10: a bagel to above a ranch conception. It's my new

640
00:39:52,000 --> 00:39:56,920
Speaker 10: favorite obsession. It will rocking me right to Heaven. Hannah

641
00:39:57,000 --> 00:40:00,640
Speaker 10: Valley Ranch ice Cream.

642
00:40:00,880 --> 00:40:02,160
Speaker 3: Murder Free truck Driver.

643
00:40:02,920 --> 00:40:04,960
Speaker 9: Hi, I'm a truck driver and I just want to

644
00:40:05,000 --> 00:40:07,719
Speaker 9: say that your podcast makes it where I don't want

645
00:40:07,760 --> 00:40:11,279
Speaker 9: to murder people with my semi truck every day when

646
00:40:11,280 --> 00:40:13,719
Speaker 9: they cut me off and do stupid crap all over

647
00:40:13,719 --> 00:40:18,000
Speaker 9: the road. So I want to thank you Zaren Burnette

648
00:40:18,280 --> 00:40:22,239
Speaker 9: and Elizabeth Dutton so much and everybody over there at

649
00:40:22,320 --> 00:40:25,960
Speaker 9: ridiculous Crime. You guys save a lot of people's lives

650
00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:26,439
Speaker 9: every day.

651
00:40:32,000 --> 00:40:32,760
Speaker 3: Fox Toes.

652
00:40:33,840 --> 00:40:36,960
Speaker 8: My name is Marilyn. I commented on the Instagram page

653
00:40:36,960 --> 00:40:39,160
Speaker 8: about the Fox sisters that I can make the noise

654
00:40:39,200 --> 00:40:42,000
Speaker 8: with my toes that they were making. I'm standing on

655
00:40:42,000 --> 00:40:44,719
Speaker 8: a wooden floor in sock feet with my phone in

656
00:40:44,760 --> 00:40:45,959
Speaker 8: my hands, and here it is.

657
00:41:03,680 --> 00:41:04,680
Speaker 3: I was at the riot.

658
00:41:05,560 --> 00:41:06,560
Speaker 11: Hi, Elizabeth and Zarah.

659
00:41:06,600 --> 00:41:07,320
Speaker 7: My name is Brandon.

660
00:41:07,600 --> 00:41:10,640
Speaker 11: I was just listening to the show about riots, and

661
00:41:11,040 --> 00:41:14,160
Speaker 11: it was thrilling to me because I also was at

662
00:41:14,200 --> 00:41:17,759
Speaker 11: that body Count and Metallica and Guns N' Roses show.

663
00:41:17,880 --> 00:41:23,080
Speaker 11: I participated in the throwing of dirt. I also was

664
00:41:23,120 --> 00:41:26,840
Speaker 11: struck by dirt and I had dirt put down my pants.

665
00:41:27,320 --> 00:41:31,000
Speaker 11: It was everything a fourteen year old could have asked for.

666
00:41:31,840 --> 00:41:34,240
Speaker 11: And my next consort was Cannibal Corpse.

667
00:41:34,520 --> 00:41:35,040
Speaker 2: So whatever.

668
00:41:35,920 --> 00:41:39,600
Speaker 11: Hey, guys, this is Brandon. I just sent a message

669
00:41:39,600 --> 00:41:41,879
Speaker 11: about the rioting thing, and I just wanted to say

670
00:41:41,880 --> 00:41:44,080
Speaker 11: thank you for your show. I work out here in

671
00:41:44,080 --> 00:41:47,440
Speaker 11: Pleasanton at the garbage company and I put tires on

672
00:41:48,000 --> 00:41:51,799
Speaker 11: the garbage trucks and it's a miserable, sneaky job. And

673
00:41:51,840 --> 00:41:55,359
Speaker 11: you guys in between all the wrestling podcasts are a

674
00:41:55,440 --> 00:42:01,080
Speaker 11: bright spot in my otherwise smelly.

675
00:42:00,520 --> 00:42:02,799
Speaker 3: Thanks Acoustic Sunrise.

676
00:42:28,560 --> 00:42:31,239
Speaker 2: You guys are the best, and.

677
00:42:31,200 --> 00:42:37,680
Speaker 3: The winner is murder Free truck driver, wherever you are,

678
00:42:37,800 --> 00:42:40,759
Speaker 3: truck driver. Recently to the talkback you left was a

679
00:42:40,800 --> 00:42:43,600
Speaker 3: thing of beauty, a piece of art. The punctuation of

680
00:42:43,640 --> 00:42:47,040
Speaker 3: the engine sound at the end. You're genius. Please make

681
00:42:47,080 --> 00:42:48,920
Speaker 3: sure to use the iHeart app and leave a talk

682
00:42:49,000 --> 00:42:50,880
Speaker 3: back and maybe next year you'll be the winner.

683
00:42:51,160 --> 00:42:54,120
Speaker 6: Wait to get everyone's hopes up, Elizabeth, well done, Thank

684
00:42:54,160 --> 00:42:57,400
Speaker 6: you for asking here to present Our next award is

685
00:42:57,480 --> 00:42:59,560
Speaker 6: Car and Driver's super Car of the Year.

686
00:43:00,480 --> 00:43:01,120
Speaker 7: Z B.

687
00:43:04,680 --> 00:43:07,879
Speaker 2: Thank you did, room groom to you, sir. It's really

688
00:43:07,880 --> 00:43:09,520
Speaker 2: great to be here. This is almost as good as

689
00:43:09,560 --> 00:43:12,400
Speaker 2: making some of that spicy coconut curry shrimp soup with

690
00:43:12,480 --> 00:43:17,200
Speaker 2: my buddies. Okay, all throughout the show you've heard the

691
00:43:17,200 --> 00:43:20,120
Speaker 2: nominees for Best Song. It's a labor of love to

692
00:43:20,160 --> 00:43:23,000
Speaker 2: commission these songs for every episode that we do, and

693
00:43:23,080 --> 00:43:26,720
Speaker 2: the listener reactions to these songs, it really it warms

694
00:43:26,719 --> 00:43:30,920
Speaker 2: our hearts people, It lets our souls sing. These songs

695
00:43:31,080 --> 00:43:34,359
Speaker 2: they transport you, right, any song can they free you?

696
00:43:34,520 --> 00:43:37,160
Speaker 2: They also bind you to others. Sometimes a song will

697
00:43:37,200 --> 00:43:39,719
Speaker 2: make you sad or nostalgic. Sometimes they make you drive

698
00:43:39,760 --> 00:43:43,320
Speaker 2: too fast. Songs make us feel all kinds of ways. Music,

699
00:43:43,480 --> 00:43:46,720
Speaker 2: it's invisible magic. As a reminder, you know, songs sometimes

700
00:43:46,719 --> 00:43:47,520
Speaker 2: make my teeth white.

701
00:43:48,080 --> 00:43:50,359
Speaker 3: Oh really, sometimes they make my teeth fall out.

702
00:43:51,239 --> 00:43:55,319
Speaker 2: Really yeah, the power of song, I'm telling you. Sometimes

703
00:43:55,360 --> 00:43:58,719
Speaker 2: songs make my hair stand up straight? Yeah, like those

704
00:43:58,719 --> 00:44:02,640
Speaker 2: are butch songs. Now. As a reminder, the nominees for

705
00:44:02,719 --> 00:44:13,640
Speaker 2: Best Songs are Murph the Surf Rosso Corso. Okay, there's

706
00:44:13,640 --> 00:44:23,440
Speaker 2: a boy in that balloon in the woods. Oh yeah boy,

707
00:44:23,719 --> 00:44:27,520
Speaker 2: you know what happened? Is it's time to give doctor Dante.

708
00:44:28,680 --> 00:44:35,000
Speaker 5: Doctor Dante, hypnotize me.

709
00:44:32,719 --> 00:44:39,840
Speaker 2: With and the winner is no way, I cannot believe you. Guys.

710
00:44:39,960 --> 00:44:42,160
Speaker 2: Did you see this now? You haven't seen it yet, David.

711
00:44:43,680 --> 00:44:48,080
Speaker 2: The winner is doctor Dante. Oh Man, Yes, Brylan Martini

712
00:44:48,200 --> 00:44:50,560
Speaker 2: can't be here to accept this award. He's currently on

713
00:44:50,600 --> 00:44:53,319
Speaker 2: a cruise ship along the Mexican Riviera and doesn't have

714
00:44:53,400 --> 00:44:57,359
Speaker 2: internet or phone access. He's also likely hopped up on goofballs,

715
00:44:57,760 --> 00:44:59,360
Speaker 2: so we probably don't want to hear what he has

716
00:44:59,440 --> 00:45:02,600
Speaker 2: to say right now anyway, but we wish him godspeed

717
00:45:02,640 --> 00:45:04,560
Speaker 2: and thank him for the beautiful song.

718
00:45:05,400 --> 00:45:07,360
Speaker 6: Can I say it? I'm just gonna say it. I

719
00:45:07,719 --> 00:45:10,959
Speaker 6: love tall and creamy cheesecakes.

720
00:45:11,160 --> 00:45:13,520
Speaker 3: I love just say it.

721
00:45:13,760 --> 00:45:14,680
Speaker 7: Let me let me do it again.

722
00:45:15,360 --> 00:45:16,000
Speaker 6: Can I say it?

723
00:45:16,200 --> 00:45:17,759
Speaker 7: I'm just gonna say it it.

724
00:45:18,960 --> 00:45:25,840
Speaker 6: I love tall and creamy cheesecakes. And now our last

725
00:45:25,880 --> 00:45:28,640
Speaker 6: a lord of the show. These two have traveled halfway

726
00:45:28,680 --> 00:45:31,120
Speaker 6: around the world to be here. They've done so by foot,

727
00:45:31,480 --> 00:45:34,680
Speaker 6: by hoof, and by greyhound bus. Here they are star

728
00:45:34,800 --> 00:45:37,840
Speaker 6: of all fifteen of the Fast and Furious movies Zaren

729
00:45:37,880 --> 00:45:44,400
Speaker 6: Burnett and I'm going to read that Saren Burnett and

730
00:45:44,480 --> 00:45:46,480
Speaker 6: mensa champion Elizabeth Dunne.

731
00:45:49,600 --> 00:45:51,640
Speaker 2: Read it, okay, you coward.

732
00:45:51,800 --> 00:45:53,080
Speaker 6: Here they are didn't read.

733
00:45:56,280 --> 00:45:56,480
Speaker 2: Here?

734
00:45:56,520 --> 00:45:58,960
Speaker 6: They are star of all fifteen of the Fast and

735
00:45:59,000 --> 00:46:05,600
Speaker 6: Furious movies Zaren Burnett and recent recent creating a amputee

736
00:46:05,600 --> 00:46:06,680
Speaker 6: Elizabeth Dunton.

737
00:46:08,000 --> 00:46:11,960
Speaker 2: You much, thanks Dave. And for the record, I also

738
00:46:12,080 --> 00:46:15,960
Speaker 2: like the cheesecake. It's good cheesecake, Buddy Day.

739
00:46:16,480 --> 00:46:19,279
Speaker 3: Our final award is all about the people, and by

740
00:46:19,280 --> 00:46:20,280
Speaker 3: people I mean rude.

741
00:46:20,120 --> 00:46:24,160
Speaker 2: Dude's We weren't done talking about cheesecake. Cheesecake, okay, whatever,

742
00:46:24,200 --> 00:46:28,719
Speaker 2: So this is the People's Choice Award, presented by Ballots

743
00:46:28,719 --> 00:46:31,520
Speaker 2: were sent to over four hundred thousand listeners from around

744
00:46:31,600 --> 00:46:34,400
Speaker 2: the world to determine their favorite episode. What's curious is

745
00:46:34,440 --> 00:46:36,400
Speaker 2: that none of the finalists were in any of the

746
00:46:36,440 --> 00:46:37,239
Speaker 2: other categories.

747
00:46:37,320 --> 00:46:38,760
Speaker 3: I'm curious, indeed.

748
00:46:39,400 --> 00:46:41,759
Speaker 2: Well thanks to the dedication of the accounting firm of

749
00:46:41,840 --> 00:46:45,160
Speaker 2: Dewey cheatthahm, and how we can now declare an official winner.

750
00:46:46,640 --> 00:46:48,400
Speaker 3: The People's Choice award goes.

751
00:46:48,200 --> 00:46:50,120
Speaker 2: To Elizabeth where'd you put the envelope?

752
00:46:50,120 --> 00:46:50,799
Speaker 3: I thought you had it?

753
00:46:51,239 --> 00:46:53,000
Speaker 2: No, no, I thought you. Oh what I got? I

754
00:46:53,000 --> 00:46:54,719
Speaker 2: got it? Mikaylae intern had it.

755
00:46:54,960 --> 00:46:58,440
Speaker 3: You're fired, so fired, And the winner is La la

756
00:46:58,640 --> 00:47:03,560
Speaker 3: Land wrong envelope in third place, Tony Tetro the art

757
00:47:03,640 --> 00:47:09,960
Speaker 3: Forger's Forger in second place, sorry about the drapes, The

758
00:47:10,000 --> 00:47:17,280
Speaker 3: dinner set Gang aka diarya Donne and in first place

759
00:47:17,280 --> 00:47:20,200
Speaker 3: with a whopping seven hundred and eighty five thousand votes.

760
00:47:20,640 --> 00:47:23,239
Speaker 3: You me and the Stanford Tree.

761
00:47:24,160 --> 00:47:26,000
Speaker 2: So I have a real comfort behind. Winter had a

762
00:47:26,000 --> 00:47:29,120
Speaker 2: lot of heart. It brought people and a certain peace

763
00:47:29,120 --> 00:47:29,640
Speaker 2: to the land.

764
00:47:29,680 --> 00:47:31,800
Speaker 6: Oh yeah, weird.

765
00:47:32,320 --> 00:47:33,320
Speaker 3: Well that's us for today.

766
00:47:33,360 --> 00:47:35,600
Speaker 2: Wait, wait a minute, can we get a certified Elizabe

767
00:47:35,680 --> 00:47:38,000
Speaker 2: Dutton impression of Henry Kissinger saying thank you for joining

768
00:47:38,080 --> 00:47:38,920
Speaker 2: us and for listening.

769
00:47:39,000 --> 00:47:43,440
Speaker 3: Sure, hey bye, it's me. How do you know I

770
00:47:43,440 --> 00:47:45,360
Speaker 3: don't think I can do it?

771
00:47:45,400 --> 00:47:45,600
Speaker 8: Well?

772
00:47:45,640 --> 00:47:47,840
Speaker 3: Thank you for joining us and thank you for listening.

773
00:47:48,320 --> 00:47:50,440
Speaker 3: We appreciate each and every one of you more than

774
00:47:50,480 --> 00:47:51,040
Speaker 3: you will ever know.

775
00:47:51,560 --> 00:47:51,880
Speaker 2: Effort.

776
00:47:52,040 --> 00:47:54,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, good, Bay. Thanks, thanks for a wonderful year, and

777
00:47:54,920 --> 00:47:55,759
Speaker 3: here's too many more.

778
00:47:55,800 --> 00:47:56,920
Speaker 2: I love years, me too.

779
00:47:57,120 --> 00:47:59,759
Speaker 3: It's a year. You can find us online at Ridiculous Crime,

780
00:47:59,800 --> 00:48:02,239
Speaker 3: on of Twitter and Instagram. Email us if you want

781
00:48:02,280 --> 00:48:05,480
Speaker 3: at Ridiculous Crime at gmail dot com, visit us at

782
00:48:05,560 --> 00:48:08,520
Speaker 3: ridiculous Crime dot com, and of course leave a talkback

783
00:48:08,520 --> 00:48:12,760
Speaker 3: on the iHeart app and don't forget code Ridiculous sixty.

784
00:48:13,320 --> 00:48:21,760
Speaker 3: Tune in next time. Ridiculous Crime is hosted by Elizabeth

785
00:48:21,800 --> 00:48:25,280
Speaker 3: Dutton and Zarren Burnett and sometimes Dave Cousten. Prettiest Smile

786
00:48:25,400 --> 00:48:28,680
Speaker 3: goes to Dave Cousten. Best use of archive dot Org

787
00:48:28,800 --> 00:48:31,120
Speaker 3: goes torom Rissa Brown, and the best use of newspapers

788
00:48:31,160 --> 00:48:34,400
Speaker 3: dot Com goes to Andrea Song Sharpen Tear. The award

789
00:48:34,440 --> 00:48:37,759
Speaker 3: for best podcast Themesong Ever goes to Travis.

790
00:48:37,440 --> 00:48:41,960
Speaker 6: Lee and Tooms No No Keep It.

791
00:48:40,719 --> 00:48:44,360
Speaker 3: Goes to Travis Lee and Thomas Dutton. Best Executive producers

792
00:48:44,360 --> 00:48:46,040
Speaker 3: are Ben Bolan and Noel Brown.

793
00:48:51,280 --> 00:48:56,360
Speaker 2: Ridicus Crime Say It one More Times.

794
00:48:58,000 --> 00:49:01,320
Speaker 1: Ridiculous Crime is a production of Iheartrate four more podcasts,

795
00:49:01,440 --> 00:49:04,640
Speaker 1: my heart Radio. Visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or

796
00:49:04,640 --> 00:49:06,400
Speaker 1: wherever you listen to your favorite shows,